Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

^th attempt to recreate Austin vs. Vince, each one less successful than the previous. It covers the rest of the matches too, focusing on Hogan vs. Shawn of course. The theme song is Remedy by Seether so we have another good song this year.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even does anything with his gimmick anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Some big shot Republicans are here.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

The main change can be summed up in one word: Cena and Batista. They took the world titles at Wrestlemania and haven’t looked back since. Other than that, there’s not a lot of differences. The main changes would be the alignments of some faces and heels. Eddie is now a heel, as is Orton, who was getting to the tweener stage last year. Edge is also full heel now, but that deserves a special mention later.

The main event however has none of those people to worry about. Tonight, the main event is a clash of two titans. Ok maybe more like a titan against Zeus, as Hulk Hogan meets Shawn Michaels. Now this wasn’t much of a rivalry as much as it was a challenge. At Backlash, the two had teamed up to fight off the evil of Muhammad Hassan and Daivari.

Then on the Fourth of July, Shawn superkicked him to end Raw, leading us here. To say the promos that Shawn did leading up to this were hilarious is the understatement of the year. Anyway, that’s the undisputed main event and also a source of controversy which I’ll get to later. Anyway, let’s get to this. Oh yeah one last note: due to the draft, the titles have switched shows.

Lillian sings the National Anthem which is awesome as always. You can see how much she puts into it and it’s awesome.

The video is great here, although that may be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether, one of my all time favorite songs. We get the usual highlights of the feuds, but then once it looks like we’ve done them all and the song plays for a bit, Shawn kicks Hogan to bring it to a dead halt. It’s just really well done and highlights all of the matches that are coming up tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is champion here. Jordan won the title from Cena about 5 months ago. He really never did much with the title other than have some bad looking boxing moves, despite being a decent boxer as an amateur. He beat Benoit at the Great American Bash but had to use the turnbuckle to do it. This is Benoit’s rematch.

The Crippler gets a great pop. Always interesting to see a guy go from main eventing to opening the show. Wow I forgot how annoying Jordan was. That all being said, this match lasts 25 seconds. Here’s the whole match: They lock up, Benoit takes him to the corner, Jordan punches him once, Benoit hits the German, crossface, new champion.

Rating: N/A. This was AWESOME. The crowd was losing it as soon as he got the crossface on and so was I. I won’t give it a rating but if I did, instant A. The crowd is completely fired up now and they think they can’t miss a thing now. GREAT way to start the show. I loved this.

Since there was next to nothing to say there, here’s the aftermath of it. They would have three rematches. One would last longer than this, clocking in at an earth shattering 49.8 seconds. It led to some very funny segments with Benoit trying to find things he could do that lasted longer than the match. Again, this was AWESOME.

Eddie is in the…HOLY CRAP IS THAT VICKIE??? She’s got red hair, a MUCH nicer voice and is thin. Ok, now I could see him marrying that. I’ll go into what they talk about later, as the angle is without a doubt the dumbest I’ve ever seen and deserves its own discussion.

There are soldiers there from the military hospital. That never stops being cool.

We recap Edge vs. Matt. Holy crap where do I begin here? This is one of the best stories of all time. Notice I didn’t say storyline there, because it was a real event. Matt and Lita were dating, and she left him for Edge. This became public knowledge and Edge kept teasing that Matt would come and beat him up for it.

Matt was at ROH for awhile, and then in what was one of the most shocking things I can ever remember, Matt showed up on Raw from out of nowhere, stunning everyone including the IWC by shouting that he’d see everyone at Ring of Honor. Yes, ROH was mentioned by name on WWE television.

The key to this was simple: the announcers weren’t told it was coming. How in the world are they supposed to respond to it? It threw everyone off and was a huge success as NO ONE saw this coming. If you want to credit Edge’s rise to the top to one thing, this is it.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

To say Lita looks good is like saying Sly is an ok debater. She’s looking extra hot here, with the jeans and bra but her stomach is all muscular and thin. I can easily see why a fight would break out over her. Edge is just about booed out of the building. The pop for Matt is huge. If there was ever a time that he should have been pushed to the moon, this was it. This is likely to be a shoot and not a regular match. Yep, it’s a shoot.

If this was a work, then give these two freaking medals. I know at least some of those shots were legit. This might be the hardest hitting match I’ve ever seen. Other than a spear through the ropes like he did to Foley, everything is a strike that you might see in a UFC fight. Matt’s head gets opened up and after a bunch of stiff shots to it, the referee stops it. I know that part was a work, as it’s a bad cut but not horrid.

Oddly enough, Matt would go on to cleanly win the next two matches before losing to Edge in a ladder match and having to leave Raw. It looks bad now, but he would redeem himself. The replay shows that the post spot where Matt got cut was a work, as he more or less crawls forward to get in position. Even still, very fun match.

Rating: B+. For what it was, this was great. For a wrestling match, it was BAD. However, I loved it for how brutal it looked and how great Lita looked, so while a lot would go the opposite here and I wouldn’t argue with them, this was fun. It wasn’t good, but it was fun.

There’s two songs apparently, a very bad pop/rap song and Remedy.

And now we have arrived. What we have next is without a doubt the WORST angle I have ever seen. Before I do the recap, allow me to quote Tony Chimmel’s announcement of the next match.

“The following contest is a ladder match FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINICK!”

Yes, the stipulation here is that the winner of this match gets custody of an 8 year old boy. Here’s your story: Eddie and Rey were tag team champions yet for awhile they had some one on one matches and Eddie never won. All of a sudden he started talking about a secret, which clearly was that he was Rey’s son’s real father. Eventually they had a match at the Great American Bash where if Eddie won he would get to tell the secret, but if he lost it stayed a secret.

Rey won, but on Smackdown Eddie just said it anyway which was something that I loved. Either way, Eddie gets custody of Dominick but is willing to put it on the line in a ladder match for one more chance to beat Rey. Dominick is at ringside with his social worker, just to make this even more ridiculous. One final note: Rey Mysterio is a lucky man, as his wife is smoking.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

This, as I said, is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the match should be good. Tazz and Cole talk about their sons as Rey hugs Dominick. This is what Eddie and Vickie were talking about earlier if you didn’t get that. We start with a stall as neither guy really moves at all. Yeah that’s a great way to get the crowd more fired up: don’t move. Apparently Eddie is 0-6 vs. Rey in his career. Dominick, the scared little boy, standing next to a guy in a Cactus Jack shirt is funny to me for some reason.

I get that he’s supposed to be scared and I think he’s playing his part well, we don’t need to see his reaction after every move. They bring the ladders in pretty fast and it’s mostly just their regular moves with the ladders involved along with some basic stuff. Rey is off a bit here which makes great sense as he’s worried about his son.

That’s a nice piece of logic and it makes perfect sense here. In a great spot, Eddie is almost up the ladder but Rey sets another ladder up like a ramp and climbs it to stop Eddie. That’s pretty good but the good part is the backdrop off the ladder, which causes both of them to fall and the crash is just great. Cole calls Eddie sick about 10 times which makes me think he needs some antibiotics.

Ok, now this match just gets bad. Eddie hits a big spot to knock Rey out. He’s climbing the ladder and is about to win, and DOMINICK runs in to shake the ladder. Eddie drops down and says things like “Give me a hug” and “I’m going to be your new daddy!” Ok, where do I begin here? Number one, where is security? They can’t stop an 8 year old boy from jumping the guard rail, or I guess in his case climbing it, getting in the ring, grabbing the ladder, or Eddie from raising his fist at him?

Number two, where was that social worker or whatever? Isn’t her job to make sure that the kid is safe? Yes, I’m sure that it’s safe for a child to run into a wrestling ring and shake a ladder with a grown man on it. Number three, isn’t a social worker a local thing? What kind of social worker would allow this to even happen? How could a professional wrestling match determine the custody of a child? And we have another 7 minutes to go! Where is my medicine?

Finally, does anyone else think Eddie sounds a little perverted with what he said in there? He says more than what I said, but it’s just a bit odd sounding. Anyway, Rey does another dumb spot as he hits the 619 into the ladder into Eddie. Yeah, that’s very smart Rey. And you wonder why your knees are shot. Oh and Eddie looking over his shoulder while in position didn’t help things.

After Rey hangs from the cord, (Eddie catches him in a powerbomb but Cole keeps calling it a Spinebuster until Tazz corrects him after seeing the replay) he gets pinned under the ladder as Eddie climbs up. Eddie then proves how stupid these matches can be as he spends like 20 seconds trying to unhook the stupid thing while waving at Rey. Rey of course counters and shakes the ladder and Eddie hangs on the cord.

Who makes those things, NASA? I would have loved it if Eddie had tucked his knees in and Rey had tried to jump up to grab him but he just wasn’t tall enough. Cole and Tazz go one and on about how Eddie has no heart. I love how last year he had the biggest heart in the world, but now it’s revealed that he’s always had a black heart. My goodness I love kayfabe. Where in the world did they come up with that term anyway?

Rey is in trouble again as Eddie goes up but Vickie runs out and shoves him off. Tazz’s line of she doesn’t belong out here made me laugh out loud. You know, if she wore something other than brown she could actually be attractive. She’s probably 40 pounds lighter here if that means anything. Dang how many times does Rey have to be saved here? Anyway, Rey climbs up and Vickie grabs Eddie to hold him back so Rey wins.

Dominick jumps the railing again as Rey’s wife walks down the ramp to join them. Seriously, how bad is security in this building??? Eddie throws a fit as Cole’s commentary tells us just how stupid this whole thing really was. Rey slides back in and with Eddie looking at him the whole time, he nails Eddie in the head with the briefcase. Great way to treat something you worked so hard to get.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but DANG the storyline couldn’t have been shoved down our throats any harder. We get it: Eddie is evil and Rey is about to lose his family. You spent half the match talking about it. This is an example of where commentary can hurt a match. At the end I almost wanted Eddie to win so I could laugh at Cole and Tazz. Either way, the match itself was fine, all stupid parts aside. It’s hard to think that Eddie would be dead in three months.

Jericho cuts a solid promo about how he will win tonight and that Cena is just the flavor of the month. He says that he beat Rock and Austin in the same night and that Cena can’t compare to them. There’s a thread there, and remember this was 4 years ago.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

My goodness why does Eugene keep getting the good wrestlers at this show? Christy Hemme comes out with Eugene dressed as a slutty cheerleader, so maybe there’s something to Eugene. The story, which isn’t told here, is that Angle had been offering his gold medals to anyone that could last 3 minutes with him. Eugene won them, and now he wants it back. That leads us here as there’s no time limit for this match. Oh joy, oh rapture.

We’re finally at Kurt’s best known look, as he’s bald and has the You Suck chants. The odd thing is that he miss times his pyro so as he’s walking to the ring it goes off instead of when he’s pointing up. Eugene is getting killed for the early part here but comes back and tries a People’s Elbow. Angle pops up and takes his head off with a clothesline to one of the biggest pops of the night. Angle is just killing him here and the fans are WAY behind him.

Eugene looks like a jobber with his offense here and is getting booed out of the building from just a few basic punches. See WWE, there’s this thing called LISTENING. Try it sometime. German suplex is called an Angle suplex as Eugene is just about out of it, drawing another huge pop. I’ve heard of wrestlers being hated before but this is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. Coach says Angle wants to continue to beatdown the beatdown. Right, thank you Coach.

Eugene hulks up and hits a Rock Bottom that gets two. He asks the referee if it was three and then remembers his gimmick is that he’s a bit slow. A stunner gets two as the crowd is as hot as Christy. Eugene pulls down some invisible straps so it looks like he’s scratching his shoulders and puts on the ankle lock. I thought he was emulating his favorite wrestlers. A guy that hates him is his favorite? Whatever.

Angle counters, hits the slam and makes Eugene tap to the roar of the fans. They kept it short, which was a great idea here as last year’s 17 minute match was just flat out stupid. Even Ross is talking about how dominant that was. Afterwards, Angle stands on a chair and has the referee put the medal around his neck which is kind of cool.

Rating: A+. Anytime Eugene gets destroyed like he did here, it’s a great match. He was just annoying at this point. A year ago he was ok I guess as the gimmick of someone that was slow but was a wrestling savant was actually kind of cool. Now he’s just a comedy guy as his wrestling ability has been forgotten and he just uses big time finishers. See, that’s how you can tell they’ve given up on him. They had a cool idea and then they just dropped it. That’s never a good sign, period.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a car for no apparent reason. We see that it has the Presidential logo on it. The window rolls down and Vince is in it. He says why not? A bumper stickers says McMahon for President. Nothing ever came of this.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

We cut back to the arena and just hear a gong. Thanks for the buildup or anything guys. This is just a Mania rematch which happened because Orton wanted to stop the streak. I’ve always liked Burn in My Light better than Voices. Orton standing in front of the pyro doing his pose just looks awesome. Even though he’s a heel he actually gets a solid pop.

I miss this version of Orton. For one thing the color of his skin is a bit less orange. It’s weird seeing Taker come out first. Orton hits the floor early to hide and I can’t say I blame him. Taz seems to agree with me. Taker slaps him in the face and the beating is on. I love seeing Taker grab someone by the throat and throw them into the corner. It’s just awesome looking.

Apparently Orton smiled after taking a chokeslam on Thursday so he’s getting in the head of the Deadman. Sounds to me like he’s getting chokeslamed which usually means he would lose. Old School is blocked by an arm drag which gets two, likely because it was an arm drag. Orton might have a bad shoulder thanks to a match with Benoit on Smackdown.

Orton takes over with punches. Take a guess as to how well that goes for him. BIG boot takes Orton down for two. This is different than their Mania match and I’m not sure if I like it better or not. Just waiting on Taker’s momentum to die until he gets beaten up for like 8 minutes and then we hit the finish. Running knee in the corner has Orton in big trouble.

Taker keeps going after the referee for no good reason. He tries the same running shot in the corner and of course it misses, allowing Orton to take over. He gets a modified elevated DDT as Taker is coming in for two. Orton goes to the knee as no one has EVER tried that on Taker right?

Powerslam by Orton gets two. And so much for a pin attempt as he goes back to the knee. With his good leg he hits the apron legdrop and actually SELLS THE LEG. I’m just so darn proud! He somehow manages to hit Old School but can’t follow up due to the knee. Snake Eyes hit but the big boot can’t work so Orton gets a dropkick to put Taker down. RKO is blocked though.

Tombstone is reversed and of course that doesn’t work but the reversal is reversed into the backbreaker for two. WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TOMBSTONE UNDERTAKER??? That has never worked once unless your name is Kane. Does no one watch tape anymore? Crazy new generation. Chokeslam hits and there’s the sign for the tombstone.

A fan runs in and it’s Bob Orton. For the life of me I will never get the appeal of him. Seriously, what’s so great about Bob Orton? What makes him a legend, aside from hanging out with Roddy Piper? That isn’t revealed though until later. Taker goes to get Orton and walks into the RKO for the pin. And the fan is Bob Orton.

Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near their Mania match, so that’s not helping things. I like how they had Bob come in at the end though as it adds something new which furthers the story a bit. There would be two more matches with these two before they finally blew it off in the Cell at Armageddon.

This was fine, but I prefer Mania by a lot, as we had seen a lot of this before, 4 months prior to this. Still not bad at all though. It amazes me how Orton has gone from the rookie wonder last year to this in just a year’s time.

They point out some Republican politicians in the crowd and no one cares.

Time to recap Jericho vs. Cena, which Ross messes up by saying Jericho is champion. This was more about Cena vs. Bischoff as they try to redo Austin vs. McMahon. Jericho is his handpicked opponent to become champion. We knew Jericho was leaving after Raw the next night so there was a real chance they would do the one night title switch and put it back on Cena the next night. Jericho is walking to the ring as we see him from the back coming through the curtain as his music plays. That’s kind of cool.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

In a weird sounding thing, Lillian says that Jericho was born in New York. When have they ever worded it like that? This is being built up as rock vs. rap. Yeah that’s great. The Cena pop is huge. Wow Lawler is 3-0 at Summerslam? That’s actually quite surprising. They point out that it’s wrestling vs. brawling here, and mention Rock and Austin. Dude, it’s great, but even I’m sick of hearing about it. On the floor Cena hits….let’s call it a spear I guess.

It’s kind of just a running tackle that they call a spear. Ross surprisingly says he’s not a Cena fan. He says that he tells it like it is, which makes me laugh even harder. This is pretty much dominance to start, as JR uses the word sycophant. Dang how much foreshadowing are they going to do? Ross is being kind of a jerk here as he keeps telling Coachman to shut up. For once I agree with Ross. Coach uses Rock lines which make me shake my head.

The commentary is more interesting than the match here as Jericho is pretty much dominating. Top rope superplex is cool. In a cool looking spot Cena goes for the shoulder block and Jericho slides between his legs. You know Jericho has two of the worst finishers of all time with the Lionsault and the Walls. When did they ever win anything when he was a heel? By the way, the STFU was a few weeks away at this point. He does however use the top rope leg here. You can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with being the top star, but he’s getting there.

FU is blocked into a DDT, which was foreshadowed by the feet of Jericho kicking. That’s the natural counter to everything I guess. We have very loud dueling chants of let’s go Cena/Jericho. At the time, Jericho just failed as a heel because he was far too much like his old face persona. A lot of his movements and mannerisms are the same, which is why his current persona works much better. It’s completely different than his old one was and there’s little likable about it.

Five moves are countered, namely the You Can’t See Me. Jericho’s epic counter you ask? He rolls over. I love how “big” moves are blocked so easily at times. The Walls of course do nothing at all but get a face pop. Cena goes for an FU from the second rope which doesn’t work.

Jericho gets a running start but Cena grabs him and in a very cool looking sequence, hooks him in a tilt a whirl up onto his shoulder to FU him for the finish as JR yells louder than he did when Austin was champ. That ending was very cool looking.

Rating: C. This felt way too short. Cena was beaten up almost the whole time but in the end of course he hits his big move to knock off the enemy. It was fine for a PPV match I guess, but it was far from special. They would have another match the next night where the loser was fired. Jericho lost and would leave for almost 3 years.

WM 22 is in Chicago.

Recap of the JBL vs. Batista feud which more or less is them having a match at the Bash but Batista gets disqualified. That makes JBL want this to be no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. JBL

JBL makes it rain 100 dollar bills to get the fans to cheer. They find that they’re JBL dollars to make them boo. The speed at which this crowd changes is amusing. Batista gets the big pop as the home town boy. However he gets jumped on the way to the ring as I think they figured out that this just wasn’t going to be a good wrestling match no matter what they did so they just made it a big brawl. They go into the crowd for a bit and Batista spears JBL through the barricade to get him back to ringside.

Well that’s one way to do it I guess. Hokey smoke they’re in the ring. For the second time tonight Cole knows the amount of time that the people have been champions. Thanks, but isn’t that a bit of overkill? As usual, a leather belt is brought in. Why would you wear one of those in a match anyway? It’s not like you think it’s safe or something. No one could be that stupid. Wait this is JBL and Batista. Ignore what I just said.

This is just a lot of hitting each other with power moves and the no holds barred thing is kind of stupid. The epic clothesline isn’t enough to stop Batista, so JBL gets some steps. Those are some freaking huge steps. This is just really bad. JBL misses a powerbomb from the steps, not onto them mind you. Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover, but instead stands there like a moron with his mouth hanging open. The fans chant one more time so I guess you know what’s coming.

Yep, it’s a power bomb on the steps. I’m not impressed either. Of course this ends it. The impact wasn’t that good either as it’s such a far shorter drop that there’s no time to get any momentum behind it.

Rating: D. Yeah this was bad. It’s less than ten minutes and that might have been too long. The problem here is simple: these two are just big strong brawlers and that style doesn’t work against each other and it didn’t here. You need someone of a different style so that the power works well against it. This was really bad though as it was obvious who would win and there was no drama at all. Bad match and no drama means a waste of time.

Recap of the real main event, which I have to give them credit for getting right here as neither of the other matches should have closed out the show. Short version: Hogan and Michaels teamed up to fight the evil Middle Eastern guys, and then they teamed a bit more. Shawn said he had to know if he could beat Hogan, and that’s how we got here.

If I went through all of the promos for this I’d run out of room for how funny they were. I don’t think they were trying to make Shawn heel here but rather the less good of the two guys. This was actually a major match when you think about it and it was treated as such, so what more can you ask for here?

HBK vs. Hulk Hogan

We come back to the arena to dead silence. I mean nothing is going on but the general noise of the fans. Yeah that’s a great way to come out of a good video package guys. A few seconds of this is fine, but it goes on for about 15 seconds. That doesn’t sound like much but it’s a LONG time when you’re just sitting there waiting. Shawn FINALLY comes out to a pop but not a huge one. We still have no commentary.

Shawn prays as he usually does. I wonder if he’s praying to Hogan. Listen to his old promos and tell me he doesn’t sound like he thinks he’s God. The announcers try to make Shawn out to be an evil heel but it’s just failing. Dang the MCI Center needs a new roof. The fans just blew it off. A massive American Flag drops from the ceiling and it just looks awesome. The commentary is just completely biased as only Coach is on Shawn’s side.

Ok Hogan’s entrance is now at four minutes long. Neither has ever lost at Summerslam in a one on one match. That’s saying a lot. Shawn, forever the strategist, thinks it’s a good idea to try to overpower Hogan. Do I even need to make fun of that? A LOUD you screwed Bret chant starts up. It could be debated that such a chant could be directed at either person. They try to play this off as being the biggest match in Hogan’s career. That is just flat out funny.

This isn’t even the biggest match of Hogan’s career in this building, as this was where Hogan vs. Sting happened. Michaels’ bumping is just funny here as he’s selling a punch like a shot from a cannon. They talk about the big men that both men have beaten. Shawn is credited with Vader (he never beat him though), Diesel and Sid. Ok that’s all fine. They mention Hogan beating Andre and Coach mentions Big John Studd. This gets dead silence.

While it’s true that he beat John on some house shows, I don’t think he ever did it on a major show or a national broadcast, so I can see the skepticism there. Shawn slaps Hogan twice and actually gets away with it. They go to the floor with Hogan just killing him, but eventually Hogan goes into the posts head first. Amazingly enough he rubs his head, and right where he rubs it he’s bleeding. What are the odds of that?

You have to love that Shawn is beating up a 52 year old man. You have to love that this match isn’t stopped for the blood yet Matt vs. Edge was. Do you mean that Hogan isn’t as important as Matt Hardy? Shawn with a sleeper that Ross says is cutting off the flow of blood to the brain. Wouldn’t that kind of be helping Hogan since blood is flowing from his head? They ask how many people can say ended Hogan with his blood on their hands. I’m thinking Brock Lesnar there boys.

Shawn hits what I guess is supposed to be a forearm but Hogan just kind of falls over. Shawn goes for ANOTHER forearm but the referee goes down because of it. Do we really need that in this match? Just let one or the other get the win. The fans want Bret. Where in the heck does that come from? Shawn then applies the absolute WORST sharpshooter of all time.

He looks like he’s bent over in prison or something and Hogan looks like he’s in a half crab, which isn’t his fault as Shawn didn’t put it on right. Shawn got the leg crossing wrong I think. Yeah he did it’s supposed to be with the other arm. We have another referee here by the way. JR says that both men are looking for a win. I thought they were both looking for the way to Sesame Street. The other referee is down too. Yeah this isn’t overkill at all.

Shawn with a low blow that JR calls a low blow and then that it doesn’t need a description. Isn’t calling it low a description? Chair is brought in and barely hits Hogan as he falls early from it and Shawn lets it slide over the top of his head. Sweet Chin Music connects which gets a huge pop as Shawn circles Hogan to cover him correctly so Hogan can do the power kick out. Yep there it is.

Ok, now I can get that when Hogan is hit by an elbow or a splash that he can kick out like that, but this is a hard blow to his head. That makes NO sense, even from a wrestling perspective. We get the boot and leg drop, complete with Shawn’s insane selling that’s drawn a lot of criticism.

If Hogan can completely no sell the kick, Shawn can do that for the boot. Post match Shawn tilts face again. I say tilts because he never really turned in the first place. Oh and all of a sudden the commentators love him again too. The famous poses play us out.

Rating: B-. It was what it was, but no one believed Shawn was going to win. However, he should have. Hogan is certainly the bigger star, but he’s not a full time wrestler at this point and Shawn was. If Shawn wins here, he’s instantly getting a huge push as he just beat Hulk Hogan. Now I get that Hogan should win as the bigger star, and if they were both leaving or both staying you would be absolutely right, but that’s not what they were doing.

Shawn was staying and a win for him would be a huge push. Yes Hogan is the best ever, but he’s not even active at the moment so it looks like Shawn lost to some guy that just came back and beat him. I just don’t agree with this booking at all.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the overall product is much better than the individual matches. Batista vs. JBL is the only truly bad match on the card. The rest are good if not quite good. I don’t think there’s a true classic anywhere here or even a great match, but with everything being at least decent save for the WHC, this is a solid show. I’ll recommend it, but not completely.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2006
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 16,108
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The King of the Ring is still rolling after last week’s opener, meaning we could be in for some good stuff going forward. Smackdown seems to be throwing out a bunch of more gimmicky stuff at the moment and I’m curious to see what else they have. There is something fun about seeing these characters that you might remember from years gone by making their debuts and we should be in for some bigger names and moments. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Booker T. and Sharmell are ready to win the tournament and Matt Hardy is up first.

Matt Hardy talks about everything he has gone through this year and will not die.

King of the Ring First Round: Booker T. vs. Matt Hardy

Sharmell is here with Booker. Feeling out process to start with Booker elbowing his way out of a hammerlock. Hardy is back with a running clothesline for two and we hit the headlock on the mat. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex and some knees to the ribs have Matt in trouble as they seem to have a long time to use here. Matt is back with a swinging neckbreaker but the moonsault press misses.

We hit the chinlock but Matt is out in a hurry with the middle rope elbow to the back of the head. The comeback is cut off by Sharmell low bridging Hardy to the floor as we take a break. Back with Booker snapping off some suplexes for two but he takes too long going up and gets superplexed back down.

Matt still can’t get anything going as Booker kicks him down and grabs the chinlock again. Another comeback includes elbows and clotheslines for two but Booker kicks him in the face for two more. The Book End lets Booker hit the Spinarooni but the ax kick misses. Matt grabs the Side Effect for two but Sharmell offers a distraction so Booker can hit a low blow. Now the ax kick can finish Matt.

Rating: B-. This was better than I would have expected as they were hitting some big stuff and the fans were into what they were doing. It says a lot when I was a little surprised at some kickouts when I already knew who was winning here. Good match and one of Matt’s best in a long time now.

Post match Booker puts on the crown and does a Karate Kid pose.

In honor of JBL’s Championship Celebration tonight, here’s a look at JBL beating Eddie Guerrero for the World Title.

William Regal is in drag again and Paul Burchill thinks it’s hilarious. Tonight, they’re in a tag match but Regal doesn’t know about this because his chest is a bit too big. Burchill has a teddy bear costume for him but that’s too much for Regal. The shenanigans continue.

Joey Mercury vs. Paul London

Johnny Nitro, Melina and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hurricanranas him down to start and hammers away but a Nitro distraction lets Mercury shove him off the top. Back in and we hit the choking on the ropes. The waistlock goes on, followed by a northern lights suplex for two on London. Kendrick and Melina get up on the apron with Kendrick being knocked down, allowing Nitro to get in a slingshot elbow/backbreaker combination.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world as it was fairly obvious where they were going the second last week’s match was announced. It’s an idea that WWE has used for years and while it works well enough, it isn’t exactly something that is going to draw in my interest.

Regal is now a bear, with Burchill adding a head, including lipstick. And yes it has a tail.

Last week, Kurt Angle snapped Randy Orton’s ankle. That’s how you write Orton off for a suspension due to “unprofessional conduct”.

Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay/Orlando Jordan

Lashley and Jordan start things off with Lashley driving him into the corner without much effort. Benoit comes in and tries the Crossface, sending Jordan scampering away. A Finlay distraction lets Jordan take him down by the arm. It’s off to Finlay to crank on said arm, plus drive some elbows down for a bonus.

Benoit’s arm goes into the post and it’s back to Jordan to pound on the arm some more. Benoit finally suplexes his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Lashley to start cleaning house. The delayed vertical suplex gets two on Jordan and Benoit dives onto Finlay. There’s the spear to Jordan and the Dominator is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse but there is one important detail here: it is the last time Orlando Jordan is going to be wrestling on Smackdown. I have no idea how in the world WWE thought he was going to be some star and thank goodness I’m glad that he is gone for good. He just isn’t that talented as a wrestler so maybe he can be….a guy who makes canned peaches.

Another Great JBL Moment: he throws immigrants across the border.

This Week In WWF History: Steve Austin crushed The Rock’s Lincoln. This was on Raw too.

Teddy Long makes Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Title next week.

Now Regal is in a chicken costume, with Burchill telling him not to get cocky. There is no tail on this one, but the hole is revealing….uh, yeah.

Funaki isn’t worried about Great Khali, who comes in to shout.

Funaki vs. Great Khali

Chop to the head, big boot and double arm chokeslam in less than a minute.

Now Regal is a gorilla, but Burchill has one more idea and we’ll see it in their match.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Gymini

Simon Dean is here with the Gymini and Regal is….kind of rather British, but has feathers in his hat (which is over a curly black wig). Burchill and Jesse start things off with Burchill hammering away. Jesse gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Regal, who gets suplexed out of his wig. The chinlock goes on but Regal fights up and goes for the tag, only to have Burchill walk away. The Cross Trainer (double Regal Cutter) finishes Regal.

Another Great JBL Moment: beating Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania.

Miz tries to get in for the celebration but Palmer Cannon isn’t having that.

Raw Rebound.

We look back at Jillian Hall almost costing JBL the US Title last week.

It’s time for JBL’s Championship Celebration, hosted by Jillian Hall (who walks past the big inflated eagle). She leads out a marching band and here’s JBL in a (horned) Hummer limo as the balloons drop. JBL isn’t pleased though and yells that he is worthy of the New York Philharmonic and Jillian brought him a bunch of refugees from a Big Brother program. JBL: “Never trust a woman to think!” He makes fun of her over inflated balloons and fires her, telling Jillian to go lap dance her heart away.

JBL lists off some great Americans and declares himself an American hero. After all, he’s the real champion over Rey Mysterio. Now he wants the winner of Mysterio vs. Angle next week, so here’s Angle to interrupt. Angle lists off his own American Hero credentials but JBL doesn’t think so. Angle: “Well compared to me, you suck.”

JBL was never as good of a champion as Rey, who finally comes out to interrupt. The fans chant for Eddie and because JBL is a good heel, he points out that Rey can’t even get his own chant. JBL has already taken titles from Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, so Rey can be the third amigo. One short/Spanish joke too many earns JBL a beating and Rey and Angle stare each other down to end the show. JBL is still a heck of a heel, but he’s right in pointing out how little fans seem to care about Rey himself. It doesn’t help that Rey feels like he’s in way over his head as champion too.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the ending was a big celebration which only set up a title match between two people who have nothing to do with JBL at the moment. The rest of the show was your usual fare and they did a nice job of making Angle vs. Mysterio feel like an important match. It’s not exactly must see stuff, though they still have a few weeks to set things up before we get to the next pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2006
Location: CenturyTelCenter, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Saturday Night’s Main Event, which is the last real stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. Things have been a little strange as of late as we have been building towards both shows at once, but Saturday Night is just a commercial for Wrestlemania anyway. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s main event tag and Undertaker challenging Mark Henry for the Wrestlemania casket match to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Lumberjack match. Lashley kicks Finlay outside to start and Finlay gets to beat up the lumberjacks. Back in and Lashley pulls him away from the ropes for a crash to the mat. A clothesline into a backdrop sends Finlay outside again and it’s time for the big staredown between everyone involved. Some cheap shots from the lumberjacks put Lashley down so Finlay throws him outside again to keep up the beating. The chinlock goes on back inside, followed by some forearms to the back.

Those just annoy Lashley, so Finlay sends him outside for more lumberjack fun. Finlay misses a charge into the post though and Lashley pops off a belly to belly. A clothesline gives Lashley two and there’s the one armed delayed vertical suplex. Lashley throws Finlay onto the lumberjacks and then goes outside to beat on him some more. I’m not sure if he understands the idea of a lumberjack match. Back in and Sylvan grabs a chair, but Lashley takes him down. The distraction works though as Finlay gets in the shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they were beating the heck out of each other but they kept going with the lumberjacks to make things a little off. What we had was a good brawl though and I liked all of the physicality. Sometimes you need to just throw people in there and have them beat each other up, which worked out well enough with two power guys like them.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: the Gimmick Battle Royal. Works for me.

MNM is gawking over Vince McMahon’s Muscle and Fitness cover and admiring his glutes. Melina comes up to take it away, revealing that they are looking at Candice Michelle’s Playboy. She keeps it for her own personal use. Nitro: “What are you going to do with it?” Melina: “Use your imagination.” Melina walks over to Kristal Marshall and says that she’s beautiful in the Divas Magazine, but Kristal needs to learn her place around here. Paul Burchill comes up so Melina call MNM over. Burchill whips out the sword and the villains run off.

William Regal/Jillian Hall vs. Kristal Marshall/Paul Burchill

Regal keeps stealing glances at Jillian in her gear. The women fight over a lockup to start with Jillian sending her into the corner. That allows commentary to discuss their gear, as commentary tends to do around here. Regal tries to break things up and gets slapped in the face so Burchill comes in for a running crossbody. A shove out of the corner puts Burchill down though and Regal kicks him in the head (simple things can work just fine). We hit the chinlock but Burchill fights up and it’s back to the women for the catfighting. Since that can’t last long, Burchill comes back in for the C4 to finish Regal in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It really is amazing to see the differences between people with Wrestlemania stories and people who are destined for the pre-show battle royal. They’re fighting over a magazine and Burchill’s choice to be a pirate, which doesn’t exactly make me think much of them going into the biggest show of the year. Then again I’m a sucker for most pirate shenanigans so this was entertaining in a few ways.

Sharmell and Booker are in the back with Sharmell screaming about how scared she is of the Boogeyman. Booker has a box for her though and knows everything will be ok.

Verne Gagne Hall of Fame video.

Booker T. vs. Jeremy Young

Sharmell is in a beekeeper’s suit. Booker runs Young over as Sharmell continues to panic on the floor. Some more shots to the face let Booker stomp him down in the corner and there’s a spinebuster to cut off the comeback. The ax kick finishes Young.

Rating: D. Yeah I don’t think there’s any secret to what they were going for here. I’m hoping they wrap up the Boogeyman stuff sooner rather than later as it is the kind of story that was fun once or twice (and that’s a stretch) and now it’s just silly. Well sillier that is. Let him be a special attraction if he has to be on the show, but having him with big names like this is a little too much.

Post match Boogeyman’s music plays so Booker and Sharmell hide underneath the ring. Guess who they find under there.

We look at last week’s main event again.

We get a sitdown interview with Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle. Orton cuts Cole off to ask Angle how healthy he is after last week’s attacks. Angle thinks it’s funny and loads up the broken freaking neck line but Orton cuts him off as well because we’ve heard it before. As for Mysterio, Orton is going to embarrass him at Wrestlemania because he doesn’t belong in the main event. Angle calls out Orton for not respecting Mysterio, who beat Orton to win the Royal Rumble.

Orton says Angle is a paper champion who won the title in a battle royal that Orton wasn’t even in. That sends Angle into a rant about Orton being a one time champion who held it for a month. Mysterio says he’ll win the title at Wrestlemania because dreams come true. Rey says he will have Angle’s back tonight and tomorrow, but that won’t be the case at Wrestlemania. Angle doesn’t want it any other way and Orton promises to dominate in all three matches. This didn’t add much but it worked well enough and reinforced what was already set up.

The Miz is coming.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Road Warrior Animal vs. Matt Hardy

Matt slugs away to start and gets shoved down. That’s fine with Matt as he takes Animal down and hammers away again. Animal goes after Matt’s banged up knee, which only draws up some louder HARDY chants. The leg cranking is on but Matt uses the good leg to kick him away. A reverse DDT into the Side Effect gets two and there’s another Side Effect to send Animal into the corner. Matt unloads in the corner but almost hits the referee, allowing Animal to get in a brass knuckles shot for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not exactly expecting this to stand as even 2006 Smackdown isn’t insane enough to put Animal in a big match at Summerslam. The match was nothing of course because it’s Animal, but what else were you expecting? Was there really a rub to get from beating an old member of half of the Legion of Doom?

Post match the referee sees the knuckles and reverses the decision to send Matt to Wrestlemania. Dang Matt really can’t catch a break. Yeah he’s going to Wrestlemania, but he has to keep heat on Animal?

Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and JBL is on commentary with a cooler of beer to hype up the beer drinking contest with Steve Austin. Benoit goes straight to the suplex to set up the corner chops. Jordan is sent outside for more chops, allowing Benoit to glare at JBL. Back in and Jordan takes him down by the arm as JBL goes into one of his rather intense rants about Austin meaning nothing in Texas. Benoit fights out of an armbar and snaps off the German suplexes. JBL: “I GOT FIRED IN GERMANY ONE TIME AND I REALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!” The Sharpshooter finishes Jordan.

Rating: D+. These two had to set some kind of a record for facing each other in matches that weren’t all that good. It isn’t like Jordan is making anyone look good as he’s someone out there to get beaten up with no doubt about who is winning. Can we see what Benoit can do against a stuff giraffe named Irving instead?

Post match JBL hits Benoit with the cooler (good shot too).

We look back at Mark Henry costing Kurt Angle the World Title two weeks ago.

Mark Henry isn’t scared of the casket or the Streak. Tomorrow, Undertaker can come face him on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

MNM/Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle/Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio

Melina and Daivari are here with the villains and Angle has bad ribs from last week. Orton slaps Nitro before the bell and it’s Angle top wristlocking Nitro to start. Mercury comes in and gets a knee to Angle’s ribs to take over in the corner. Angle’s ribs are fine enough to snap off a belly to belly and it’s off to Rey. The springboard moonsault gets two on Mercury and a spinning bulldog to Nitro gets the same.

Mysterio gets sent into the corner though and Henry comes in to step on Rey’s chest. The splash misses though and Rey hammers away in the corner, only to have Orton distract the referee so Daivari can get in a cheap shot. That of course means an EDDIE chant, because that’s all Rey means these days. We take a break and come back with Melina slapping Mysterio.

A headscissors choke on the apron (with the camera cutting to the other side of the ring because the skirt is a little short) keeps Rey down and Nitro drops an elbow on Rey’s back. Henry comes back in for the gorilla press drop but another splash misses. An enziguri allows the diving tag to Angle, as Orton stops to fix his boot. Angle starts cleaning house as everything breaks down, including the Angle Slam to Henry. There’s the 619 to Nitro but Orton tags himself in and throws Mysterio outside to steal the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C. And yes, the Tag Team Champions lose again. It was to a bigger name, but can we go a few weeks without them losing? Just for a change of pace? Anyway, this was another way of enforcing things that we already know, because there isn’t much else that can be done to set up the triple threat. That’s not good with two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, but it isn’t the deepest story in the world.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another show that bounced back and forth between building to Saturday Night’s Main Event and Wrestlemania but it didn’t work as well as Raw. The triple threat match is as set as it is going to be, though it was nice to have the three of them not bring up Eddie every few seconds. The wrestling wasn’t great, but that is rarely the point this time of year. Not a bad show, but the build for Wrestlemania is just tightening up everything that is already set, plus some MITB qualifying. That could make for some fairly week shows on the way to Chicago, but this could have been worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Attendance: 4,542
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer Eddie Guerrero to No Way Out and that means Kurt Eddie Guerrero Angle vs. Undertaker, plus Eddie Guerrero Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton over the Eddie Guerrero memory of Eddie Guerrero. That might sound like a good Eddie Guerrero top to the card but they’re going to need more Eddie Guerrero matches to make the show work in the Eddie Guerrero end. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Randy Orton insulting the memory of Eddie Guerrero to convince Rey Mysterio to put up his Wrestlemania title shot. In defense of Eddie Guerrero’s legacy of course.

Opening sequence.

Matt Hardy vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Booker T. (on commentary with Sharmell while Jillian Hall is at ringside) for the US Title at No Way Out. It’s a brawl to start with Matt and JBL being sent outside but coming back in so JBL can clothesline Matt back to the floor. Benoit can’t Sharpshooter JBL but he can Crossface him with Jordan coming back in for the save. Matt suplexes Jordan for two as Cole and Booker argue over how much Booker has been wrestling as of late.

JBL pulls Matt to the floor and sends him face first into the steps. Back in and Benoit snaps off a release German suplex to JBL. That doesn’t seem to have much effect as JBL is back up to boot Matt in the face, followed by Benoit DDTing Jordan. JBL gets sent into the steps by Jordan and Benoit, who send Matt into the steps as well. Back in and Benoit hits a top rope superplex to Jordan and we take a break.

We come back with JBL breaking up a Crossface on Jordan as Booker complains about sweating so much. A middle rope elbow gives JBL two on Benoit and Matt’s neckbreaker gets the same on JBL. Booker rants on Benoit being a prima donna for making the save and then complains about the refereeing over and over. JBL suplexes Benoit as Booker is losing his mind about Benoit not being pinned.

The Clothesline From JBL hits Hardy but Jordan has to be dispatched, allowing Benoit to make the save. The Three Amigos take JBL down and the rolling German suplexes drop Jordan again. There’s the Swanton for two on Jordan with JBL making a save this time. JBL is sent to the floor and Matt hits the Side Effect on Jordan. Benoit is back up though and the Crossface makes Matt tap for the title shot.

Rating: B-. They kept the action moving here and Booker’s panicked reactions made the match a little bit better. Then again there was Jordan doing his best warm body who happens to be in there performance, yet somehow not being the one to take the fall. Why do you have Jordan in there if he isn’t the one taking the loss? Can this guy please just get released already?

As Benoit celebrates, Teddy Long tells Booker and Sharmell that it’s either fight at No Way Out or forfeit.

JBL rants about how he can beat anyone when Bobby Lashley comes up. The challenge is on for No Way Out and Jillian accepts on JBL’s behalf, much to JBL’s fear.

Melina offers Matt Hardy a spot in MNM.

Daivari is sick of hearing about Kurt Angle and is looking forward to seeing Mark Henry destroy Undertaker tonight. Henry promises to take Undertaker out.

Here’s MNM for an Open Challenge.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. London wristlocks Mercury down and drops a leg on the arm but Mercury is back up with a right hand to the face. A hurricanrana gives London two more as Melina is looking rather confident on the floor. Nitro comes in and gets hurricanranaed by Kendrick, followed by a dropkick for two. A clothesline to the back of the head staggers Kendrick though and it’s back to Mercury, who gets dropkicked by London.

The threat of a kick to the face sends Mercury outside and that means another headscissors from Kendrick. London adds a big flip dive onto both of them but Kendrick gets backdropped over the top and outside for a nasty crash. Back in and Kendrick gets sent hard into the corner but he fights out of the backbreaker. The diving tag brings in London but the referee doesn’t see it, allowing MNM to hit a Snapshot, with Melina grabbing London’s leg so there’s no save.

Rating: C-. London and Kendrick could be a good addition to the tag team division. I mean, assuming there actually is a division, as there isn’t much to the whole thing aside from MNM and….do Heidenreich/Animal still count? The FBI is still around but other than that, we more or less have the champions and whomever is challenging them at the moment. In other words, business as usual.

Video on the Asian tour.

Randy Orton wants to set the record straight on his Eddie Guerrero comments last week. After seeing the “Eddie isn’t up there” comments again, here’s Orton in the arena to address said comments….and he’s in the low rider. Orton doesn’t know where Eddie is and doesn’t care. All that matters is that Orton got what he wanted: a chance to take Mysterio’s Wrestlemania title shot.

Orton is going on to Wrestlemania to become champion, but that’s at Wrestlemania. Why is he here in a low rider this week? See, Eddie Guerrero was no saint, and Orton has the proof. He pulls out a copy of Eddie’s own book to read a section but here’s Rey Mysterio to jump him. Mysterio dropkicks him head first into the post and Orton is out.

Cruiserweight Title: Nunzio vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go to the mat to start and here’s Kid Kash, who gets the winner next week, to watch from the aisle. Nunzio grabs an armbar and hurricanranas him out to the floor but Helms is back with something like an F5 to send Nunzio throat first across the top rope. A high crossbody (to the face) drops Nunzio again and we hit the chinlock. Nunzio fights up with some clotheslines and a neckbreaker gets two. Helms is right back with a fireman’s carry spun into a knee to the face, followed by the Shining Wizard to retain.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. There isn’t much that you can do with these matches as there is little interest in them as the cruiserweights have been treated like nothing for a long time now. The action was fine enough (save for that high crossbody) but at the end of the day, it’s the Cruiserweight Title. WWE isn’t going to treat it as anything important and it’s hard to get behind it as a result.

Palmer Cannon is glad the juniors are back. Mr. Kennedy comes in and likes them, but Pirate Paul Burchill breaks through a wall, says hello, and leaves.

Octagoncito/Pequeno Valencia vs. Mascarita Sagrada/Tzuki

Valencia is nearly Rey Mysterio’s size so Sagrada picks up the pace to start and takes him down early on. The much bigger Valencia misses a running dropkick in the corner and it’s Tzuki coming in to spin around into a headscissors. Octagoncito comes in but Tzuki is too busy armdragging Valencia….but here’s Finlay to beat up Octagoncito for the DQ.

Post match Finlay beats up Tzuki for a bonus. Finlay says this is serious and he’s here to fight. I’m all for him in something like this. The juniors are all talented, but it doesn’t fit in here and having Finlay beat them up is going to get more mileage than anything they do.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Undertaker.

No Way Out rundown, which is looking pretty good.

Booker T. and Sharmell are leaving but the trunk of their car is full of worms.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Daivari is here with Henry. Undertaker grabs a headlock to start, which looks rather out of place for him. A running shoulder has no effect on Henry so he grabs his own headlock. Henry’s shoulder works a bit better and he hiptosses Undertaker down with ease. Henry charges into a boot in the corner but a collision sends Undertaker into the ropes. The running charge misses though and Henry falls outside as we take a break.

Back with Henry hammering away against the barricade. Undertaker reverses a whip though and sends Henry hard into the steps. Some right hands and a big boot rock Henry and the elbow to the face sets up the apron legdrop. A glare at Daivari means it’s a delayed two on Henry, who isn’t knocked down off Old School. Henry catches a charge in the corner though and powers Undertaker into the other corner.

A headbutt to the spine gives Henry two and it’s time to crash down onto Undertaker’s lower back. Henry stands on the ribs and Daivari gets in some choking as the referee yells. They head outside again with Undertaker’s back being sent into the barricade and the apron. That’s good for one back inside but Undertaker slugs away from his knees and hits the running clotheslines in the corner. The chokeslam (and a decent one at that) connects but MNM come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was into this one until the ending, but that was the right call. You don’t want either of these two losing at the moment, as Undertaker is going into a World Title shot and Henry just lost at the Rumble. MNM’s loose association with Henry is enough for them to come in here and it was the right ending to a nice power match.

Post match Undertaker shrugs off MNM and chokeslams Daivari but MNM are back up. Henry runs Undertaker over but Kurt Angle runs out for the suplexes to make the save. Henry runs through Angle, only to have Undertaker kick Henry in the face. Undertaker grabs the title, so here’s Teddy Long to make Henry/MNM vs. Angle/Undertaker in a handicap match for next week. Henry is pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a tricky one as it wasn’t much on its own, but it was quite the show for setting up No Way Out. They’ve got a hot card for the show and Angle vs. Undertaker sounds awesome. If they can keep that up next week, we could be in for something special at the pay per view. Cut out some of the weaker stuff (Booker vs. worms, juniors and the rather lame cruiserweights) and you’ve got an excellent show. As it is, it wasn’t much here but it looked to the future, which is a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 9, 2005
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on the last pay per view of the year and with less than two weeks to go before the show, it is time to start hammering away at the build. The main event being set should help things a lot as we already have Undertaker and Randy Orton stepping inside the Cell. That alone should get them a long way so hopefully they have the rest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Undertaker vs. Randy Orton.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL’s eye is heavily bandaged after it was DANGEROUSLY poked last week. Of course he didn’t walk out on Rey Mysterio last week. He left because he was injured, but since he is JBL, he’ll wrestle without the patch. What a hero! Rey is banged up as well, sporting some heavily taped ribs. JBL hammers away in the corner until Rey hits a dropkick and right hands of his own. Just to be evil, Rey pokes him in the eye a few times. That’s enough to send JBL outside so Rey hits a slingshot dive. Back in and Rey loads up the 619 but Orlando Jordan runs in for the DQ.

Post match Batista makes the save, triggering Teddy Long for the tag team match (he’s getting the cadence down).

Bob Orton can’t talk Randy Orton out of calling Undertaker out.

Here are the Ortons, with Randy being more serious than usual. Randy is THIS CLOSE to snapping….and then the lights start flickering with his video playing on the screen, albeit in reverse a few times. With things back to normal, Randy says he wants Undertaker in this ring right now. Nothing happens so Randy sounds a bit more desperate, until the gong strikes. We see clips of Undertaker in the Cell, complete with a quote from….Ralph Waldo Emerson? The Dante quote (Abandon all hope, ye who enter here) is more appropriate because Randy is on the highway to h***.

Using a dry erase board, Booker explains that he’s going up 3-0 over Chris Benoit tonight.

Joey Mercury vs. Super Crazy

Melina, Johnny Nitro and the other Mexicools are here too. Mercury’s opening headlock doesn’t last long as Crazy hiptosses him a few times. Crazy sends him outside and, after mocking Mercury’s hair, misses an Asai moonsault. That lets Mercury hit a running clothesline and the middle rope elbow gets two back inside. Crazy skins the cat (on the bottom rope for a change) and kicks Mercury into a rolling crucifix for two more. A superkick drops Mercury and, after a failed Nitro interference, the moonsault gives Crazy the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad while it lasted with Crazy getting to showcase himself a little bit. This gives the Mexicools some more momentum going into the pay per view title match so it’s a well put together story, even if the match wasn’t long enough to do much. Mercury is always good for a fine enough performance though and that’s what they had here.

Post match Kid Kash runs in to help beat the Mexicools down.

Randy Orton is in the bathroom and sees Undertaker in the mirror. Then there’s no Undertaker. There’s also nothing original about that visual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Ray Gordy

Hang on a second though as Palmer Cannon comes out to say Kennedy is injured and can’t wrestle tonight. We have a replacement though.

Boogeyman vs. Ray Gordy

Boogeyman grabs a mouthful of worms and throws Gordy around, followed by the pumphandle slam for the fast pin.

Randy almost hits Bob for surprising him. Then he sees blood on Bob’s face as the mind games continue.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.

Match #3 in the Best of Seven series with Booker up 2-0 and with Sharmell in his corner. They circle each other for a good while to start until Benoit takes over with a quickly broken hammerlock. Back up and Booker’s forearms to the back are broken up with an elbow to the face. A neckbreaker gives Booker a breather but Benoit snaps off a German suplex for two.

Booker comes back with a hot shot to put Benoit right back in trouble and it’s time to hammer away with right hands. Benoit sweeps the legs and fires off his own right hands, only to get sent chest first into the buckle. A sidekick to the back drops Benoit and we take a break. Back with Booker slugging away even more until he has to cut off a charge with a spinebuster into the corner.

That nasty landing gets two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Benoit fires off some knees to the ribs to set up the rolling German suplexes. A top rope superplex gives Benoit two more and the Swan Dive gets the same. Booker’s side kicks takes out the referee though and the Crossface goes on. No one sees the tap so Sharmell tries a chair shot. That’s broken up but Booker takes the chair away and blasts Benoit in the back. The ax kick makes it 3-0.

Rating: B-. There’s something groan inducing about the fact that we now have to see four more matches in the series. It’s still good stuff, but the charm is wearing off in a hurry. The comeback should be on starting next time, but it sounds like we could be in for a long road to the final match for the title.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal

Paul Burchill is with Regal. Lashley pulls him in and takes it into the corner, only to get uppercutted a few times. An exploder suplex gives Regal two but Lashley runs him over again. The Dominator is good for the fast pin.

Raw Rebound.

Randy leaves, as Undertaker’s face appears on a screen behind him.

Post break, the Ortons get in their car…..which drives off on its own. Josh Matthews comes up for an interview, but Undertaker possesses him so Josh, in Undertaker’s voice, promises to end Randy in the Cell. Randy runs off.

Armageddon rundown.

Rey Mysterio/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

Jillian Hall is here as well. Jordan and Batista start things off and the power begins in a hurry. Rey comes in to hurricanrana JBL and a double baseball slide takes the villains down as we go to a break. Back with Jordan working on an armbar to Batista but Batista powers into a suplex for the breather.

It’s back to Rey so the pace can pick up in a hurry and he knocks JBL outside. Rey follows so JBL hides behind Jillian, who slaps Rey in the face. Back in and a super fall away slam bangs up Rey’s ribs for two more. The bearhug stays on the ribs and it’s off to JBL to hammer away in the corner. A waistlock has Rey in more trouble but he slips out and JBL comes back in.

Rey takes him down as well and there’s the hot tag to Batista. Everything breaks down and Jordan posts Batista, leaving Rey to hit the springboard seated senton on JBL. Jillian tries to get involved but it’s a double 619 to the non-Jordan villains. JBL trips over Jillian and blows out his knee so he walks out. That means it’s a 619 into a Batista Bomb to finish Jordan and end the show.

Rating: C+. This was your standard main event style tag match and that’s all well and good. Rey and Batista need the momentum as they head towards the pay per view and it’s not like Jordan losing is going to hurt anything. I’m not exactly thrilled by seeing more Raw vs. Smackdown but it’s not like they have anything else going on at the moment.

Overall Rating: C. The show came and went, as it tends to do, but there is only so much that can be done with such low level and unimportant stories. You can tell they’re on cruise control at the moment and while it’s fine enough, it’s not something that gets me excited to watch the show. It’s no surprise as it happens once a year, but it can get a little old at times.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

No Mercy 2005
Date: October 9, 2005
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a Smackdown only pay per view this time around and that could go in a variety of ways. We have a two match card here with Eddie Guerrero challenging Batista for the World Title, but the more interesting part of the story is whether or not Eddie has really changed. Other than that, we have the Ortons vs. Undertaker in a handicap casket match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Eddie’s addictions and evils being gone….and then cuts to a graveyard to talk about Undertaker vs. the Ortons. Well that was chilling.

MNM vs. Animal/Heidenreich/Christy Hemme

Animal has a bad shoulder coming in so Heidenreich pulls Nitro up from the floor by the hair to start things off. Heidenreich runs him over and hands it off to Animal, who misses a charge into the corner to hurt the shoulder again. The Snapshot connects early on but Nitro takes his time knocking Heidenreich down so Nitro can only get two. The arm is pulled around the middle rope and Mercury grabs a neckbreaker for two more.

Animal grabs a quick powerslam for his own two and Heidenreich comes in without a tag. That earns him a backdrop to the floor (good for him, the filthy cheater) and Melina tags herself in for no logical reason. Animal catches her in midair and brings Christy in to play Bret on a Hart Attack. A bad hurricanrana sets up a Doomsday Device to finish Melina (after Christy figures out how to cover).

Rating: D. The match was pretty bad, mainly because these teams have feuded for months now and there has never been any reason to believe that MNM has a chance against them. I get why they want Christy in there (it’s not difficult to figure out) but have her as the manager or something because she’s terrible in the ring. There’s a place for someone with her looks and charisma, but it’s not here.

Eddie Guerrero wishes Batista good luck, though he doesn’t seem the most sincere. Batista wishes him the same, albeit a bit more nicely.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Dean has a guy with him, carrying a plate of burgers. Simon talks about how how Houston is the fattest city in America, which is why he brought these twenty double cheeseburgers. You can have one and be ok, but the problem is eating all twenty at once. He’s so confident tonight that if he loses, he’ll eat all of them. Dean tries an early cheap shot and gets suplexed for his efforts. Lashley misses a charge into the corner so Dean throws the burgers at the referee. The distraction lets Dean get in a shot to the head with the cheeseburger tray….and Lashley just glares at him. The Dominator finishes in a hurry.

JBL isn’t worried about Raw wrestlers interfering because they’ll see what he does to Rey Mysterio. Cue Rey to speak Spanish, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Rey hands him a mask, because JBL is going to want to hide in shame after the beating Rey gives him tonight. Or maybe Jillian Hall can wear it instead.

Teddy Long welcomes Lashley to Smackdown when he goes to answer some questions online. Shouldn’t that welcome have come either when he was signed or in the previous few weeks? Does Long usually just let people wander around the locker room and have matches?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T. vs. Christian

Benoit is defending, it’s one fall to a finish and Sharmell handles Booker’s entrance. It’s a brawl to start with Benoit getting sent outside and Booker having to fight out of the corner. A double clothesline gets Booker out of trouble as Cole brings up the first assembly after 9/11 in this building. That’s how you keep the energy up man. Benoit comes back in and suplexes Christian onto Jordan, followed by Booker missile dropkicking Christian.

It’s Benoit vs. Booker for a bit and the fans are back into this one. Nothing actually happens though as Christian and Jordan come back in to break it up. Booker and Jordan clothesline each other for the double knockdown, leaving the Canadians to slug it out on top. They both fall to the floor and Booker forearms Jordan down for two.

Christian sends Benoit into Booker but Benoit is back up with the rolling German suplexes. More suplexes look to set up the Swan Dive but Christian gets out of the way. Instead, Benoit gets him in the Crossface but Jordan makes the save because he’s the only one who gets to tap out to that in big matches. With Jordan dispatched, Benoit Sharpshooters Christian to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and the three of them (plus Jordan) looked solid here. Benoit vs. Booker seems to be the next big feud based on that staredown but egads the idea of that much more Sharmell yelling at Booker for weeks on end makes my soul hurt. At least turn Booker hard heel if that’s what we have to sit through.

Post match Sharmell tells Booker that Benoit made him lose.

Lashley makes Dean eat the burgers, even though they were on the ground and on the mat.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Kennedy does his usual so Holly pulls him over the top and starts hammering away in the corner. The dropkick puts Kennedy down again and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled with him being in control here. Kennedy begs off and manages a shot to the ribs so he can throw Holly outside. A ram into the corner makes it worse and the armbar goes on. Holly armdrags his way out, only to get taken down with a DDT on the arm.

Rating: D+. That was a weird sequence leading into the ending as Holly just dropped Kennedy for some reason and then didn’t sell a pretty big kick. Maybe he was mad at Kennedy for something but it didn’t look good at all. Then again neither does having these two having these two on pay per view, as you could see a bunch of empty seats popping up throughout the match.

Post match Holly is favoring his ribs so here’s Sylvan to attack the ribs even more.

Simon is still eating and finds a hair in one of the burgers.

Sharmell yells at Booker for losing but Kennedy interrupts to brag about winning. Sharmell yells at Booker even more, saying he’s his own problem.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. Rey slugs away to start, including some kicks to the thigh. That earns him a headlock takeover as we talk about the growth on Jillian Hall’s face. Rey fights up and avoids an elbow, allowing him to kick JBL outside. The chase is on until Rey hits a baseball slide, only to have JBL hit him in the back.

Rey goes right back to the knee but it’s too early for the 619. Instead JBL bails to the floor and gets caught with a bulldog from the apron. JBL sends him hard into the timekeeper’s area and it’s time to pound Rey down in the corner. The super fall away slam sends Rey flying and a regular version makes it worse.

There’s a third on the floor and it’s time to hit the bearhug back inside. Rey fights out so JBL sets him on top, only to get caught with a “spinning tornado” DDT, according to Cole, who presumably doesn’t know what a tornado is. Rey’s moonsault press gets two but JBL shoulders him down. The Clothesline From JBL is countered with a dropkick and Rey hits the 619, only to walk into the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s tied for the match of the night so far and that’s not really saying much. You could have gone with either winning here as JBL is still a big star on the show and keeping him strong makes sense for future matches. Mysterio isn’t someone who is going to be hurt by a loss, especially when he’s a foot shorter than JBL. Good enough match here and better than I would have bet on.

We recap the Ortons vs. Undertaker. Randy is still annoyed at Undertaker for beating him at Wrestlemania so he brought in his dad to help him. Tonight, it’s a handicap casket match.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton/Bob Orton

Casket match, with Tony Chimmel incorrectly saying it is the first handicap casket match in history (HHH had one against Mideon and Viscera on Smackdown in 1999). Druids bring down the casket before Undertaker’s entrance to stretch it out even longer. The two of them can’t surround Undertaker as he slips between them and hits some shots to the face. Undertaker knocks Bob onto the casket but Randy gets in a low blow and drops a knee.

That’s broken up and Bob gets thrown into the casket, only to have Randy send Undertaker knees first into the steps. Undertaker fights out of the casket and drives his shoulder into Randy’s, setting up a Downward Spiral. Randy has to save his dad from Old School and a double superplex brings Undertaker back down. Bob tries to cover but then calls for the lid to be opened after realizing what’s going on (fair enough as this isn’t quite in his wheelhouse).

For some reason they try to suplex Undertaker over the top and into the casket instead of, you know, rolling him in, which goes as well as you would expect. A double DDT gets Undertaker out of trouble and Bob is thrown into the casket. Snake Eyes takes too long though and Bob gets out. That means Randy has to go into the post and a chair shot puts Randy in the casket. Undertaker triangle chokes Bob (because you can’t just chokeslam Bob) but the delay lets Randy pull the two of them inside with him.

Bob gets left inside with the lid shut but Randy powerslams Undertaker inside. Randy hammers away in the corner and, of course, gets caught in the Last Ride, though he’s able to slip out instead. Undertaker tries to throw him in but Bob pops out of the casket with a fire extinguisher to blind Undertaker, setting up the RKO. That and a fire extinguisher to the head put Undertaker down but he grabs Randy and pulls him in with him. The lid is closed, which should be an Ortons win, but they pop back out. One more fire extinguisher to the head is finally enough to put Undertaker in alone for the win.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be but Bob added enough to the match to be worthwhile. If nothing else it leaves the door open for a bigger one on one rematch down the line, likely in the Cell. They could have cut off about five minutes from this though and it would have been a lot better. Undertaker will be back because he always is, and it’s going to be time for revenge.

Post match the casket is locked and the Ortons wheel it up to the stage. Just like Kane in 1998, the light it on fire as everyone freaks out. Unlike 1998 there is more to go, and let’s get straight to that.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Nunzio

Juventud is challenging after winning a battle royal on Velocity and Vito/the Mexicools are at ringside. During the entrances, we’re told that the Ortons are doing an interview backstage, because that’s what you do after LIGHTING SOMEONE ON FIRE ON LIVE TELEVISION! They trade rollups for two each to start as the camera suddenly won’t stay on the standard shot.

Could it have something to do with the large empty sections opposite the hard camera during this match? Juventud hurricanranas him off the top and then dropkicks him in the face for two. A kick to Juvy’s face sets up the middle rope legdrop but Juvy gets out of the way and takes out Vito. Back in and a northern lights suplex sets up the Juvy Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was short, disjointed, and in between the big matches on the show. What else were you really expecting to happen here? The fans didn’t care, the match was thrown onto the card and it’s for the most worthless title this side of the Western States Heritage Championship. What else was going to happen?

Post match Juvy cuts a promo with the Spanish announce team before leaving on his lawnmower.

Simon Dean can’t take anymore and runs for the bathroom after nineteen burgers.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista. Eddie got the title shot at Palmer Cannon/the Network’s suggestion and suddenly decided that he was a changed man. It isn’t clear if he is or not, but Batista has warned him about what is going to happen if Eddie stabs him in the back.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Batista is defending. They stare each other down to start until Eddie takes him down by the legs. That’s broken up with a standoff and they stare each other down….to a standing ovation? Ok then. Batista easily takes over with a test of strength so Eddie climbs the ropes, only to get slammed back down. A headlock keeps Eddie in trouble but the Texas crowd gets behind him all over again.

The hold stays on for a good while until Batista slams and shoulders him out to the floor. Eddie grabs a chair and that’s too far for Batista, but Eddie snaps his throat across the top rope. The frog splash to the back gets two and it’s a bodyscissors to stay on the back. Eddie switches over to a half crab but Batista makes the rope without breaking much of a sweat.

That lets Eddie grab a tag rope, which he throws down without using. Instead it’s back to the bodyscissors with a chinlock but this time Batista powers up to his feet. Batista charges but this time Eddie takes the knee out and grabs a Texas Cloverleaf. That’s broken up and the referee gets bumped, meaning it’s time for an evil smile.

Eddie picks up the chair but still can’t do it. Instead he throws the chair to the floor but Batista saw it in his hands and isn’t happy. The beatdown is on, including the spear and a spinebuster for a delayed two as Batista’s back is banged up. That’s enough for Eddie to hit Three Amigos but Batista is back up with another spinebuster to retain.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it was a lack of chemistry or trying to do too much storyline stuff and not enough wrestling, but this didn’t exactly work. There’s more to this one though and while I can understand not doing the big blowoff in their first match, this was a disappointing end to a bad show. It could have been worse, but it needed to be a lot bigger after the rest of the show so far.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad, with the two good matches barely being able to headline a regular Smackdown. The main event didn’t deliver and the Ortons vs. Undertaker wasn’t that much better. It could have been worse and the two matches two help, but this felt like a bad B show and underwhelmed even with almost no expectations coming in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2005
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With Raw’s Unforgiven coming up on two days after this show, it’s time to start setting up the next Smackdown pay per view. Last week seemed to be an ending point for some big stories and that means we are coming up on some new stuff. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have in store but you never know what that might be. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Christian

Non-title. Hold on though as here’s Orlando Jordan who says he wants another shot. Christian and Jordan beat Benoit down but Jordan gets caught in the Crossface. Christian breaks that up so here’s Booker T. to make it a tag match. The REFEREE makes it a tag match though as he must have sights on Teddy’s job.

Christian/Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T./Chris Benoit

Sharmell comes out to watch as Booker hiptosses Christian to start. The spinebuster gives Booker two but Jordan gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Christian knocks him to the floor and gets two off a neckbreaker back inside. The chinlock doesn’t last long but Christian keeps Booker down and brings Jordan in. Now why would you do something stupid like that?

Jordan grabs his own chinlock and, of course, Booker fights up and hits the Book End because Jordan is really, really bad at wrestling. Benoit comes in and suplexes Christian but Jordan breaks up the Crossface. Jordan and Booker head outside with the former grabbing a chair so Booker shoves him away, right into Sharmell. That’s not cool with Booker but in the melee, Christian hits the Unprettier to finish Benoit.

Rating: C-. It’s almost amazing how bad Jordan is and yet WWE keeps him at this level for whatever reason. He can’t do anything above the most basic stuff and can’t even do that right. That’s what makes it such a relief to have Christian being moved into Jordan’s slot against Benoit. It’s an instant (mega) upgrade and a huge relief.

Video on Randy Orton being the Legend Killer and Undertaker being the Undertaker.

Batista flirts with Christy Hemme and Stacy Keibler, has a sip of a Simon System milkshake, and heads to the ring.

Palmer Cannon and Teddy Long bring out Batista for a chat. Batista says he needs a new #1 contender, so Teddy, “Network guy”, who’s it going to be? Long is ready to announce someone who sounds a lot like Rey Mysterio as #1 contender but Cannon takes the mic away and picks Eddie Guerrero. Eddie talks about his addictions with the biggest being his addiction to manipulation. Last week, he finally beat Rey and now he has a new addiction: respect.

Now he is all about honor and love and Batista is greatness. There won’t be any hate at No Mercy and they can have the greatest match of all time. Batista says they can be friends and Eddie is very pleased. Everyone knows what kind of man Eddie is and imagine what kind of champion he can be. Eddie offers a handshake and wants to be friends but Batista wants a hug. This was a bit weird, but the mind games are going to be a lot of fun to watch, mainly because Batista is smart.

Tag Team Titles: Heidenreich/Animal vs. MNM

MNM is challenging because these teams are the tag division these days. Heidenreich runs Mercury over to start so it’s already time for a conference. Mercury gets in a few cheap shots before running to the floor, where Animal nails him with a clothesline. Animal comes in and gets choked on the ropes, setting up a double Russian legsweep for two. A neckbreaker gets the same and we hit the quickly broken sleeper. Animal kicks that away and brings Heidenreich back in to clean house. Melina’s interference fails as everything breaks down, including Mercury hitting Heidenreich with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D. So yes the feud can continue so WWE can sell more DVDs. They would be a lot better off by having Heidenreich and Animal destroying jobbers because these matches are just showing how nothing Animal and Heidenreich have in matches that last more than a minute. The nostalgia run is fine, but don’t treat it like it’s anything more than nostalgia/cashing in on the original team’s legacy.

Long and Cannon argue over Eddie being named #1 contender but the network has its wishes.

The Ortons have a surprise for Undertaker in the back of a U-Haul truck.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Rating: C-. This would seem to set up a rematch at No Mercy as JBL isn’t going to be happy with a loss to someone like Mysterio. The good thing about Rey is something like this could be considered a fluke win and allows for a variety of rematches, even though seeing JBL over and over doesn’t exactly bode well. He’s still one of the top heels on Smackdown though and putting the two of them together is a fine way to go.

Nunzio and Vito are in Teddy’s office with the former wanting to know why he’s isn’t wrestling even though he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Eddie, who is still here, suggests a match with Batista and Cannon makes the match.

JBL won’t answer questions and walks away so here’s Mr. Kennedy to ask why he isn’t getting some attention. Oh and Josh Matthews smells so bad he smells like Arkansas. Kennedy introduces himself and as luck would have it, he’s up next.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jacus Plisken

Right hands and the super Regal Roll finish Jock in about a minute.

Batista vs. Nunzio

Non-title, Vito is here with Nunzio and Eddie is watching from the stage. The announcers make it clear that Nunzio has been stuck on Velocity in recent weeks, further killing anything the title could still offer. Batista pulls both of them inside and throws Nunzio at Vito. Vito’s distraction lets Nunzio get in a dropkick and that’s enough to set off the destruction. The Batista Bomb finishes in a hurry. I’d love an explanation for why they do this to the Cruiserweight Title. It’s been the case for a long time now and there has to be a reason.

Randy Orton tells Cowboy Bob to wait for the right moment.

JBL has a secret meeting with Jillian Hall because he needs her assistance.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Undertaker shoving him away and grabbing a rather harsh headlock. A big boot gives Undertaker two and it’s off to a keylock. Orton fights up but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar as it’s weird to see scientific Undertaker. Old School is broken up with a crotching and Orton headbutts him so hard that he staggers himself. The superplex plants Undertaker and Orton calls for his dad to bring the truck.

Since we’re about five minutes into the match, Undertaker sits up, only to get DDTed back down. The truck comes in and is opened to reveal….a casket. Back from a break with Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock and elbowing away in the corner. That just earns him a dropkick and we hit the chinlock again. Orton goes up top but dives into a raised boot to leave them both staggered. The over the back backbreaker drops Undertaker, but he slugs Orton down from his knees.

The jumping clothesline connects and Undertaker scores with the big boot into Snake Eyes. Orton kicks him in the face and Undertaker glares him down before heading outside. Undertaker teases sending him into the casket but there’s an Undertaker mannequin inside, allowing Orton to send him into the steps. Back in and Orton has to slip out of a Last Ride attempt, only to have the referee get bumped. The RKO gets two from a second referee and a chokeslam connects for the same, with Bob pulling the referee out. Another RKO is countered and the Tombstone finishes Orton.

Rating: C. The match was a good bit overbooked but that’s the kind of thing that you have to expect from a main event level match like this. I’m sure we’ll get a casket match eventually and while that might not be thrilling, it does make sense given the story. Hopefully the wrestling is a bit better, but there is a special feeling when Undertaker is in the ring.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great here but what matters is that we are seeing some new stuff. Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Christian vs. Benoit, plus the continued rise of Kennedy all give me some hope for the next month. Smackdown had some good stuff over the summer but they have been long overdue for some fresh blood. Hopefully we can get something good in the coming weeks and this show made me think that’s a possibility.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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