On This Day: April 14, 1984 – Championship Wrestling 1984: This Hogan Guy Has Potential

Championship Wrestling
Date: April 14, 1984
Location: Agricultural Hall, Allentown, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Gene Okerlund, Vince McMahon

This is another old show that I’ve only touched on in the past. Championship Wrestling used to be the flagship show for the company and would have all of the top stars and major matches airing here. That’s the case tonight as the still relatively new world champion Hulk Hogan is in action tonight against Tiger Chung Lee. Other than that there isn’t much to say. Let’s get to it.

The opening theme for the show is an instrumental version of Thriller. That’s just odd.

Vince and Gene run down the card.

We get an ad for the WWF Magazine, including an article on the Von Erichs. I remember hearing they wanted to bring the Von Erichs in but I guess it was closer than it seemed.

Charlie Fulton vs. Tito Santana

Non-title here as Tito is IC Champion. We immediately get the Fink in a voiceover talking about the upcoming house shows, including one that night in Boston. Fulton takes it to the ropes and hits a forearm to take over but Tito monkey flips him down. Off to an armbar by the champion which is one of the higher spots you’ll see in this match. Back up and Fulton takes it into the corner again but Tito puts him right down with armbar #3. Fulton comes back with some forearms and right hands but Tito leapfrogs him and the flying forearm ends this quick.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but it was just there to get Santana in the ring. This was back in the day when the Intercontinental Title was meant to be the wrestler’s title and would only be held by the top in ring workers. Tito was awesome when he had more than four minutes and a lot of armbars to work with so this wasn’t the right kind of match for him.

UPDATE!

There’s no real update here but it’s the name of a segment where you would get a quick story on someone in the WWF. In this case, Big John Studd won a battle royal in St. Louis but got beaten up by Hogan and Andre post match.

Greg Valentine vs. Jose Luis Rivera

This is a rematch of what was apparently a good match. Rivera speeds things up to start and kicks away a Figure Four attempt. Some armdrags have Valentine frustrated and a dropkick sends him into the ropes. Apparently Valentine broke Rivera’s undefeated streak. Greg throws him to the floor for a moment before the beating begins. There are some elbows to the head and a belly to back suplex to set up an elbow drop to pin Rivera. This was quick even for a squash.

Mike Powers vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka gets a great pop when he comes through the curtain. Powers jumps Snuka to start but Snuka pounds him down with ease. After a few headbutts and knee drops it’s the Superfly Splash for the pin. Match didn’t even last ninety seconds.

Powers is taken out on a stretcher. Now that’s a squash.

David Schultz/Paul Orndorff vs. Francisco Vazquez/Johnny Rivera

The real draw of this match is Schultz and Orndorff’s manager: Roddy Piper, who is INSANELY over as a heel at this point. Orndorff and Rivera start things off with Johnny kicking Orndorff off to frustrate Paul. Schultz, a big rough guy, comes in and throws Rivera into the other corner for a tag because he can. A hard slam puts Francisco down and a middle rope elbow is good for the pin by Schultz. Another squash, as is the custom back in the day.

We go to a famous Piper’s Pit with guest Frankie Williams, a Puerto Rican (Piper made a big deal bout it on his DVD for some reason) jobber who says he’s from Columbus, Ohio. Piper says he’s never lost a match in Columbus and brags about being undefeated forever. He goes on a rant about how Williams has never won a single match because he has no guts or ability because he’s a coward who should be making pizzas. Williams is offended and gets in Piper’s face so Piper DESTROYS him in about eight seconds. Famous quote from Piper: “Just when they think they got all the answer, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS!”

Johnny Ringo vs. Terry Daniels

Ringo is a big fat guy and Daniels is a member of Sgt. Slaughter’s Cobra Corps. This is exactly what you would expect: the much smaller Daniels rolls Ringo around with a bunch of leverage moves and some elbows before pinning him with a fast sunset flip.

Slaughter critiques Daniels and has him march out of the arena.

Hulk Hogan vs. Tiger Chung Lee

Non-title here with a ten minute time limit. How weird is it to hear that for a Hogan match? He still has Eye of the Tiger here and this was taped like a month before the rest of the show. Hogan gets Lee’s kendo stick away from him and chases Lee out of the ring before ripping off the shirt. Back in and Hogan crushes Lee in the corner before planting him with an atomic drop. Off to a bearhug and Lee is in a lot of trouble. Lee rakes the eyes to escape and we get the required Asian nerve hold. Hogan comes back with a clothesline and the legdrop for the pin. Just a quick match here to get Hogan on TV.

Hogan says you can feel Hulkamania running wild and he feels like he’s in Vegas on a roll. The levels of charisma Hogan had were off the charts.

Tony Colon vs. Jose Gonzalez

Gonzalez takes him to the mat to start and we get some very loose chain wrestling. A knee drop keeps Colon in trouble and we hit a very quick chinlock. Colon is sent into the corner and a knee lift puts him back down. A missile dropkick (a VERY big spot at the time) ends Colon quick. Another short match to wrap up the show here.

Overall Rating: C. For its time, this was a pretty entertaining show. I’m not sure why Hogan didn’t wrap things up but it’s not like it makes a big difference. This was from a very different time as you could never air something like this today. Still though, it was entertaining enough and the card was pretty packed with stars by comparison to some of the other shows of its time. Not bad here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania I: It All Starts….With A Tag Match?

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

We begin here at a show that certainly won’t be like the rest of these. This show is far more about the spectacle than the major matches which is shown in the main event. Our big match tonight is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper in a grudge match. Yeah the first show doesn’t even have the world title on the line. Today, there are at least two world title matches per show. Anyway, this is where it all began so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of New York City with the WWF logo and some pictures of the wrestlers coming in later. The celebrities for tonight’s show (headlined by Muhammad Ali) are also shown.

Here’s Mean Gene to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

Tito Santana says he’s ready for the undefeated Executioner and he’s going to teach the newcomer a thing or two about the big leagues.

The Executioner says he’s going after Santana’s injured leg. So much for secrecy.

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Executioner is Buddy Rose (of Blow Away fame) under a mask. Tito is WAY over here in MSG so he was a good choice to open things up. We start with a crisscross before Tito dropkicks Executioner out to the floor. Back in and Santana hooks a headlock to take Executioner to the mat as we’re still waiting on that promised leg work. Tito charges into a boot in the corner and Executioner takes him down with a knee to the ribs. A spinning toe hold is easily escaped so Executioner goes after the other leg. So which one is injured in the first place?

Tito shrugs him off and the masked guy hides in the corner. Since it’s a corner that Tito is looking straight at, the hiding doesn’t go all that well and Tito slugs him down. Executioner comes back with a slam and goes up, only to be slammed right back down. A Santana splash hits knees though and we get to the knee work. That work consists of one cannonball down onto it before Tito kicks him to the floor. Back in and the forearm sets up the Figure Four to make Santana the first winner in the history of Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t too bad and the crowd reacted well to Santana, but Executioner was just a guy there to be evil. For an opening match this was a pretty good idea but for a match in general it was pretty lame stuff. Then again they have no idea what they’re doing at this point so it’s understandable.

S.D. Jones says he’s ready for King Kong Bundy. I see why I’ve never heard him talk other than this show. He’s going to get down for Bundy.

Bundy says Jones needs to be ready for the Avalanche and the five count.

S. D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Here’s an infamous one. Jones is a guy from the old days who is here to make the fans feel good I guess. The match lasts 23 seconds with Bundy shoving Jones into the corner, splashing him three times and getting the pin. According to the WWF the time was 9 seconds, which doesn’t even make bad sense for them.

Matt Borne, the future Doink the Clown, says he’s ready to beat a worldwide star in Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat’s problem is that he’s too nice of a guy. That’s likely true.

Steamboat says this is the biggest card ever and he’s here to develop his meanness. You don’t hear this often, but Steamboat failed miserably in that regard.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Borne is the Maniac so I have another name to use. Steamboat is looking chiseled here. I’ve never seen him so ripped up and it’s a strange look on him. Also he isn’t called the Dragon yet which is even odder to hear. Ricky speeds things up to start and chops Borne down before hitting a chinlock only about 40 seconds in.

Off to a headlock instead with Steamboat backflipping over Borne twice with the second time resulting in an atomic drop. Back to the headlock which is shifted into a front facelock but Borne comes back with a snap suplex for two. Ricky is like dude I’m Ricky Steamboat and suplexes Borne down, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. A shoulder block puts Borne down and the cross body ends this near squash clean.

Rating: D+. Eh it’s Steamboat in the 80s so how bad can this be? Ricky wasn’t a huge star yet but he was rapidly becoming known as something special. It would be another year or so before he started tearing the house down on a regular basis and started having his masterpieces. Borne would be a lot better when he had a gimmick to go with his skills.

The Sammartinos are ready for Johnny V and Brutus Beefcake. Bruno threatens Johnny V is he tries to get involved.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sammartino was the son of a legend and had a good way into the business as a result. He had a good look on top of that, but he had one thing holding him back: he had no talent. His “career” was really just a way to keep Bruno around for a few more years to draw in some extra crowds and that’s the only reason this match is happening. Beefcake is new at this point and is nowhere near what he would become so this is going to be pretty bad.

David’s height doesn’t help him either as he’s about 5’8 or so. They head to the mat to start and Brutus has to bail to the floor for a breather. Back in and Sammartino takes it right back to the mat with a front facelock. A legdrop to the arm has Beefcake in trouble and it’s time to talk to the managers a bit. Beefcake comes back with a headlock takeover but David grabs the legs to work them over a bit.

Off to a leg lock as we keep things very basic so far. Brutus fights up with his leg seeming fine all of a sudden. He drops some forearms to David’s back and there’s a hard whip into the corner by Beefcake. David comes back with a backdrop and they slug it out a bit. Sammartino strikes like his daddy. A suplex gets two for David but Brutus sends him to the floor. The managers get into a fight and both guys run in for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s a competitive match and not completely terrible, but the problem is how low level of quality this was. Neither guy was terrible but you could tell they were trying which makes a big difference. This could have been WAY worse but it just wasn’t that good in the first place.

I forgot to mention how the interviews are being done. Alfred Hayes is standing in the entrance with the ring behind him as the guys come by him for their matches. The interviews are recorded earlier in the day though so it’s kind of odd.

Anyway Valentine says he’s tough and leaner than usual.

JYD says he’s going to take a bite out of Valentine. So he’s promising to cheat? Good to know.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Dog cranks on the arm to start and punches him in the shoulder ala Marciano. A punch to the face takes Valentine down and a headbutt sends the champion (Greg in case you’re not familiar with this era) to the floor. Valentine tries his luck at the arm now and pounds away with some forearms to the back of the head. I’m not sure if that should hurt the Dog or not.

The champion goes after the leg now with what looks to be the start of a half crab but he never turns Dog over. A kind of DDT on the leg has the Dog in trouble again and there’s a headbutt between the legs. Dog breaks up the Figure Four and hits a headbutt to stagger the champ some more. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but Dog causes Valentine to blast him in the head instead. Valentine grabs a fast rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m getting tired of using that rating but this is what the matches keep coming out as: not terrible but nothing good at all. Valentine would get back to his current feud with Tito Santana very soon with the title changing hands pretty soon if I remember properly. Dog was there as more of a fun character than a serious threat so this was fine.

Speaking of Santana, here he is to tell the referee what happened. The referee restarts the match but Valentine walks out for the countout without ever getting back in. That’s just building Santana vs. Valentine for later.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff say their countries are better than America. Where’s my pitchfork when I need to run freaks like these off?

The US Express say they’re ready.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Sheik and Volkoff said they’ve proven their superiority now.

Intermission which is edited out of the home video releases.

Big John Studd says he’ll slam Andre and keep the money.

Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant

This is a bodyslam challenge with some special stipulations: if Andre wins, he gets $15,000 but if Studd wins, Andre has to retire. Studd charges in to start but is immediately chopped back and he bails to the floor. Back in and Andre punches him in the head and rams him in the corner with all of his weight. Studd goes for a slam and Andre is just like dude please. The fans chant for a slam as Andre puts on a bearhug. That goes on for a good while until Andre shifts over to a facelock. Apparently if this goes to the time limit, Andre has to retire. Andre kicks at the leg for a bit and casually slams Studd for the win. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was pretty terrible but the fans loved Andre and he had to be on here. Also this was part of a big feud as Andre and Studd cut Andre’s hair a few weeks before this. The match was pretty weak but then again what are you going to expect from these two guys with Andre’s body starting to fail on him.

Andre hands a few bucks out to the fans but Heenan steals the bag and runs off.

Andre says he doesn’t care about the money because he’s better than Studd and now he’s proven it. He isn’t retiring anytime soon either.

Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter want Wendi’s title back. Richter is MAD here and has a nearly man’s voice.

Moolah and Lelani Kai are ready to keep the title.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

The big deal here is that Cyndi Lauper, pop superstar of her day, is in Richter’s corner. Moolah, as in the woman who cost Richter the title a few weeks ago, is in Kai’s corner. The camera is on a wide shot for the start of Richter’s music (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and the whole crowd literally gets up at once. Cool visual. For reasons that continue to elude me, the slow motion shot of Richter and Lauper running through the back and into the arena is a famous clip.

They both pull hair to start and we’re clearly in a normal women’s match here. By that I mean neither girl is that good in the ring and their moves are really overblown. Richter cranks on the arm for a bit until Kai pulls her hair to take over. Now the champion works on the arm for a bit and Richter is in trouble. More hair pulling ensues until Richter puts on a body scissors.

Kai charges into a boot in the corner and Richter shoves the referee away like a jerk. Moolah chokes away at Wendi in the corner until Lauper comes over to make the save. Richter hits a kind of reverse AA and a splash for two. Lelani hits a backbreaker for two before going up for a cross body, only to have Wendi roll through for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. These two just didn’t work that well, but that would be the case for almost any women’s match back in the 80s. The girls were out there basically for a spectacle or in this case the pop culture connection that was driving the era. Richter was a HUGE star at this point, occasionally main eventing house shows when Hogan was in another city.

Richter and Lauper dance around the ring in celebration in another semi-famous scene.

Richter and Lauper celebrate in the back as well.

We introduce the celebrities for the main event. The guest ring announcer is Billy Martin, former manager of the Yankees. He introduces Liberace as guest timekeeper, accompanied by four Rockettes. They all get in the ring and do the famous kicks which you’ll see in the occasional highlight package. The guest referee is someone you may have heard of: Muhammad Ali. Jose Torres, another boxer, is on the floor as well.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper comes out with the full New York Pipe and Drums band while Hogan and T come out to Eye of the Tiger. Advantage Hogan/T. Piper and Orndorff have Bob Orton as their second while Hogan/T have Jimmy Snuka. Advantage Hogan/T. This is looking kind of one sided isn’t it? Oh and Pat Patterson is the inside referee while Ali is the outside referee. The heels all hug and we’re ready to go.

Orndorff and Hogan get things going but Piper tags in before there’s any contact. Therefore T wants to fight Piper and they immediately head to the mat. T and Piper do some amateur stuff and T actually lasts long enough for a standoff. We get some staring until T hooks Piper in an airplane spin. Everything breaks down and Ali gets in to help break it up. Orton and Snuka try to get in as well but Ali glares Orton down.

Things break down again and the heels get rammed together until we get down to Hogan vs. Piper. Hulk rams Piper’s head into the mat over and over until it’s back to T. Hogan offers his knee as something to ram Piper’s head into and it’s back to the champion to send Piper to the outside. Orndorff jumps Hogan from behind and knocks him outside where Roddy blasts him with a chair.

Paul chokes away from the apron until T charges in for the save. Pat Patterson has to pull T off and you know he enjoys this in some way. A double atomic drop puts Hogan down and Orndorff hits a vertical suplex. Roddy comes back in to get in his punches and knee shots followed by an Orndorff top rope elbow to the back of Hulk’s neck for two. Paul goes up again but misses the knee drop and there’s the hot tag to T.

Orndorff and T brawl on the mat for a bit until Mr. gets in trouble via a Piper front facelock. That goes nowhere though as T stands up and makes the tag with no effort to be seen. Hogan pounds away but walks into a belly to back suplex. Orton and Snuka get in the ring for no apparent reason and as the referee calms things down, Orton comes in off the top with the cast but hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin.

Rating: B-. Is it great? Not even close, but the point of this match was the crowd reacting to it rather than the match itself. It’s easily the best match of the night and while the only question coming into tonight was who was getting the fall. This was exactly what the fans wanted and that’s what this was supposed to be about. Nice main event here.

Piper and Orton bail but the good guys let Orndorff leave without beating on him even more.

We recap the ending of the main event.

Hogan, T and Snuka talk about winning.

Credits end the show. That’s a sign of the past.

Overall Rating: D+. First and foremost let me make something clear: the overall rating for this show means jack because the whole thing was there for the spectacle and the matches were an afterthought other than the main event. This show was a huge success and kickstarted what is known as the Golden Era, so I don’t think you can call it anything but a good show. It’s also on the list of shows that every fan has to see at least once, just so they can say they’ve seen it. Not great quality, but incredible historical significance.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C

Redo: C-

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-

Redo: D+

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Shiek vs. U.S. Express

Original: B-

Redo: C

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

Original: B

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/08/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-1-just-a-big-house-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




On This Day: January 3, 1987 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #9: The End Of The Feud Before The Huge Feud

Saturday Nights Main Event 9
Date: January 3, 1987
Location; Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Well we’re around the time of Mania 3 but first Hogan has a big feud to end. This time it’s Paul Orndorff who he’s feuded with forever and it’s in a cage. Other than that there isn’t much at all, but that’s a semi-famous match if nothing else so it more than makes up for it. Two more after this as I try to finish this series off today. This is really just filler until we get to Mania so don’t expect much. Let’s get to it.

Orndorff says Hulkamania dies tonight. That needs to be copyrighted as whoever owned it would make a fortune.

Hogan says he’ll win from inside a cage.

Adonis says Piper will pay tonight.

Steele has a surprise for Savage.

Race says JYD will bow to him.

JYD says he’ll bow to no one.

All other theme songs bow to this one though.

Vince says welcome to the insurance capital of the world. Are you kidding me?

Orndorff, with his right arm clearly being smaller already, refuses to be interviewed. He was making $20,000 a night at times so how can you turn that down?

WWF World Title: Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan

This is the first cage match on network TV apparently. Well that’s kind of cool. Paul has stolen Hogan’s music at this point which is such a great heel tactic and someone needs to steal it today. Hogan says it’s time for a new start but the cage is a dead end for Orndorff. His eyes are bugging out of his head so he’s liked coked half to death.

Today this would be the main event of a major PPV like the Rumble with ease, if not Mania. In other words, this was HUGE. Orndorff jumps him early and we’re off to the races. Jess says the winner is the new champion. Does that mean the title is vacant? There are two officials here so keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. Orndorff gets over the top but Hogan grabs him by the hair, allowing Jesse to get my favorite of his lines ever: Hogan would not be champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald. The delivery of it is just great.

Jesse is oddly hypocritical here by saying anything goes in a cage but then complaining about Hogan choking with a bandana. Vince keeps calling Hogan Champion Hogan. He’s done it at least 5 times in as many minutes. Danny Davis, the future evil referee, has the door locked for Hogan but unlocked for Orndorff. In a rather stupid moment, Hogan blocks a shot into the cage and rams Orndorff in, but Hogan winds up going in as well. Weird.

We get to the famous finish as both guys climb up on opposite sides and hit the floor at the seemingly same time where Davis names Orndorff as referee but Marella (Gorilla Monsoon’s son in some not that well known trivia) says it was Hogan. Jesse and Vince got at it over this. Fink says it’s a tie so we’re going to continue!

One key thing here is Orndorff is taking it to Hogan. He’s not a bit afraid of Hogan at all and isn’t your traditional challenger as he’s smaller than Hogan. One thing I’ve always wondered: why doesn’t Orndorff throw Hogan in and then just step back out and win the title? Davis is taken away thanks to Hogan hitting him earlier. Hogan Hulks Up and beats the living heck out of Wonderful, just completely destroying him for a long time before a leg drop (set up by a backbreaker of all things) lets him get out. He beats up Heenan for fun afterwards as a total jerk since Heenan wasn’t even facing him.

Rating: B. You need the context of this match to get why it’s so good. This was the final blowoff to this feud that went on for at least half a year. It was the undisputed top feud in the company and drew a TON of money. Also keep in mind that this was the first televised cage match ever on national TV. It was a PPV-level main event on free TV so how could it not be huge? However, it was only the appetizer as soon after this, Hogan would get a trophy for being world champion for three years. Andre would get a smaller one for being undefeated for fifteen years. The Frenchman wasn’t happy with it.

Replays show Hogan won the tie by about a tenth of a second. Jesse talks about their legs being straight or bent which makes no sense but whatever.

Savage is listed as the Intercontinental Champion of the World. Savage tells Liz to shut up and threatens to slap her. He was LIVID here.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Vince wanted Liz like no other. To be fair she does look great here. George again says he has a surprise and comes out with an action figure of himself. He gives it to Liz but Savage takes it and throws it down. Soon thereafter he’s flying through the air as Steele throws him all over the place. Savage comes back and sets for the elbow but some music hits and the roof gets blown off. RICKY FREAKING STEAMBOAT makes his return and stares down Savage. Macho loses his mind and no one can get Steamboat back. Steele gets the advantage as they finally get Ricky back to the locker room.

Steele kidnaps Liz and carries her away before he finally comes back. A buckle gets ripped open which was always a weird thing. Vince: “He’s only salivating on him.” It was a different time I guess. Steele bites his arm a bunch of times for some reason as Jesse asks why isn’t he being better fed. Savage gets hit by a foreign object but clocks Steele with the bell to retain. A post match beatdown is attempted but Steamboat comes down for the save.

Rating: D+. Match was a glorified comedy match but most of the encounters for these two were. The main thing here obviously is that it set up Savage vs. Steamboat in the legendary showdown at Mania III. Back in the day they built up shows from a far longer away time which made them feel more epic. That and Mania was the only PPV of the year so it really was the huge show to build up to.

Harley Race and Heenan talk about how everyone will bow. They even make Gene bow in a strange moment.

JYD says he won’t bow. I could go for some Breaking Benjamin now.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

JYD jumps him early but the evil referee is in there again. Belly to belly hits but Race drops a headbutt and hurts himself to let JYD take over. Race could bump like few others. It was just like an acrobat or something. Dog puts the crown and robe on so Heenan jumps him for the DQ. Heenan and Race beat him down afterwards and make him bow which doesn’t work at all.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here at all but since JYD is in there what did you really expect? This was again just a setup for Mania where they had a somewhat better match. I wasn’t wild on this one at all but I never liked the feud as a whole.

Heenan tells Paul he’s the world champion and he’ll get the tape to prove it. We see the video again and it’s still the same.

Adrian Adonis is back after Piper beat him up.

Piper says he has heart.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is the Rico of this era so Piper of course can’t stand him. He gets hooked in the ropes and is having the tar beaten out of him. This is another really short match as Piper beats him up for a good while and they fight to the floor. Adonis blasts him with his perfume in the eyes and Piper gets counted out. The idea wasn’t to have a good match but to set up the real match at Mania again.

Rating: N/A. Nothing of note here as like I said this was just a setup for Piper’s retirement match at Mania which was a much more entertaining match which likely is because of it getting more than 3 minutes.

Hogan, in a swank Hulk jacket, says he isn’t worried about Heenan’s plan. His voice sounds awful here.

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

Mulligan is the father of Barry Windham, father in law of IRS and grandfather of Husky Harris. This is the battle of Texas or something like that. Funk is in some Lone Ranger style mask and we have a female referee. There’s an inset interview with Mulligan where he blasts Funk and makes some stupid jokes. For you lucha libre fans, Funk is the older brother of Art Barr. A jumping back elbow wins for Mulligan.

Rating: N/A. Neither of these guys ever meant anything.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t about the wrestling other than the opener but it set the table for Mania in a big way as Adonis vs. Piper and Savage vs. Steamboat are now set. The opener is a famous match and worth seeing for the sake of history if nothing else. The rest of the show is weak wrestling-wise, but it was about storyline building and on that front it wins. Good enough show though and nothing horrible.

 

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Thought of the Day: Fight Over The Music

I only remember seeing this twice and it hasn’t happened in over 25 years.Back in 1986, Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff had a HUGE feud.  During the course of this, Orndorff started to use Hogan’s legendary Real American song as his own, claiming that he (Orndorff) was the true Real American.

 

In 1987, the Young Stallions formed and started using a song called Crank It Up.  Jimmy Hart, the writer of the song, was angry because he wanted the Hart Foundation to use it.

 

Why don’t we see theme music as a feud starter anymore?  I know a lot of the songs are generic and could be interchanged, but given how similar a lot of the feuds are anymore, this is as a good an idea as anything else for getting people not liking each other.




Superstars of Wrestling – October 18, 1986: Drinking Soap And Wrestling Dogs

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: October 18, 1986
Location: Onadonga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

TNA shows take awhile to find so here’s something else to fill in the time with. We’re still in late 86 here and it’s still Piper vs. Adonis and Hogan vs. Orndorff, which will go on for a few more months. After that we upgrade to the biggest one on one storyline of all time. Still though, this is a very fun time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

Theme song and the usual Vince preview of the show.

SD Jones vs. Hercules Hernandez

Herc jumps him to start and Danny Davis is all cool with that. The fans already think this is boring. It’s a total squash so far with Hernandez running over Jones with a variety of clotheslines and chokes. Slick says Hogan is next. Jones comes back with a headbutt and some punches but that’s about it. A Torture Rack ends SD quick.

Rating: D. Just a squash here for Hercules who was supposed to be a big deal but it never really happened. I’ll go with this as proof of that: at Wrestlemania II, the original plan was Bret vs. Steamboat in the show stealer, but Hercules got the match with the Dragon instead because Herc was seen as the better prospect. See, he’s strong.

UPDATE!

This gives us a strange sequence of Orton and Muraco watching Superstars reruns at Muraco’s house. They see themselves beating up Piper and hurting his leg.

Luscious Johnny V has a new man in Dino Bravo, who has dark hair here.

Tony Parks vs. Dino Bravo

Apparently the announcers have seen Bravo before. He throws Parks around and atomic drops him to the floor. Parks makes a quick comeback but gets his head clotheslined off. Bravo throws him to the floor, brings him back in for a dropkick and a belly to back suplex ends the massacre.

House show ad. Piper says he doesn’t need a referee when he’s beating up Muraco.

Brutus talks about taking care of himself outside of the ring and we get a clip of Greg Valentine getting a massage on Tuesday Night Titans.

Bob Bradley/Tiger Chung Lee vs. Killer Bees

The Bees are in their masks still here but they take them off before the match starts. Lee and Blair get us started and it’s off to Brunzell very quickly. Lee hits some kind of shot to the throat to take over but Bradley doesn’t have such good luck. Blair hits a powerslam and it’s back to Blair. Bradley tries a splash but it gets knees. Brunzell’s dropkick gets the pin. More squashification but the Bees would hook up with the Harts soon and things would get a lot better.

Another ad for the same Boston house show. Savage is ready for Steamboat, who is a great athlete. He’s just not great enough to take the title.

Butch Reed vs. Rick Hunter

Hunter actually gets a quick headscissors to take Reed down which is more offense than I was expecting from him. Reed grabs one of his own and punishes Hunter with it a little bit. Off to a chinlock but Hunter breaks out of it. Not that it matters as a jumping knee takes him down. Top rope clothesline ends this quick.

Time for Piper’s Pit with the guest Jimmy Hart. Hart has presents in an attempt to buy his own safety. Everyone chipped in and got him a crutch. Muraco got him a Hawaiian lei, Fuji got him a pair of women’s underwear and Orton got him a cowboy hat and a noose to hang himself with. Piper forces him into a chair and says he has a surprise for him.

Jimmy has to close his eyes so Piper can tie Jimmy to the chair with the rope. Oh wait that’s not the present. He has a bottle of I think soap to wash Jimmy’s mouth out. Piper: “You can give this lei back to Muraco because it’s the only lay you’re ever going to get.” He puts the soap in Jimmy’s mouth and makes him spit it into the cowboy hat. As for the bad leg, Piper hops off on one leg. Good segment.

We get a clip from Hillbilly Jim’s house with Granny. Jim plays the guitar and sings a song for her. Then he heats up a wooden stove and shows us his workout routine. Then he wrestles a dog but Granny comes in to yell at him. This whole thing ate up several minutes.

Paul Orndorff looks into three mirrors while Heenan praises him.

Mike Sharpe vs. Ricky Steamboat

Feeling out process to start but Sharpe gets in a shot with the loaded pad to knock Steamboat to the floor. Steamboat comes back and hits a top rope chop to get back into the ring. Regular chop sets up the cross body for the pin.

Muraco is ready for Piper in Boston. He talks about how they used to be friends but now things have changed. Really good promo here.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very segment heavy show which is ok but a lot of the segments were pretty random. The Hart/Piper thing was hilarious as Piper was insane as usual. Other than that though there wasn’t much here, especially the Hillbilly deal. One thing I will say though: some character development such as stuff like that is better than almost none that we get today.

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Superstars of Wrestling – October 4, 1986: Weakest Show Yet

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back with the last episode of this series that I have at the moment, although that’s likely to change. With Superstars there isn’t much you can predict as far as matches, but I would expect something more from Piper vs. Adonis which is the top angle on the show at the moment. There’s also supposed to be an interview with Hogan which should be good. Let’s get to it.

Intro and whatnot.

Randy Barber vs. Koko B. Ware

An inset promo from Koko tells us that his bird is named Frankie. Jesse wants a jump off between Koko and Brunzell. Koko throws him around for awhile and hits some dropkicks and a neckbreaker before the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) gets the pin.

Video of Hillbilly Jim singing a song I believe at the reception for Uncle Elmer’s wedding.

Sika vs. Mario Mancini

I’ve heard of Mancini I think. Sika chops him down and chokes to start and we get a chinlock in a squash match. I don’t recall seeing that before. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside the Samoan Drop finishes this.

Tito is ready for his match with Race tonight in Boston. Why does Race wear that ovrcoat when it’s hot out?

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

Savage says he’ll go to a different galazy tonight and says the gimmick is No DQ. Holy cocaine promo Batman.

Paul Orndorff vs. Dan Haskins

The stolen music continues. Orndorff says the music is his now and not Hogan’s anymore. Paul gives him a clean break to start but the second time he hits him in the ribs. Out to the floor for a slam as Heenan praises things on. Clothesline, piledriver, see ya.

We see Piper, in his trunks for some reason, in the back yelling while on a crutch and holding a ball bat. He goes psycho and DESTROYS the Flower Shop with the bat, falling over from swinging so far.

Dan McGuire vs. Randy Savage

Billy Graham wants the Intercontinental Championship Belt “of the entire universe”. Savage sends him to the floor and rams him into the barricade with an ax handle off the top. Slam and elbow finish this quick.

Jesse talks to Hogan who is wearing a Harley-Davidson bandana. Hulk doesn’t think much of Orndorff and doesn’t think he’s a real American. There’s a birther joke in there somewhere.

Moondogs vs. Killer Bees

Blair and Rex start us off and Vince calls a clothesline a necktie for some reason. Both Moondogs get slammed and it’s off to Spot vs. Brunzell. Brunzell gets in trouble for a good ten seconds before hitting his dropkick and an enziguri and tagging Blair back in. Blair cleans house and Rex hits Spot so Blair can pin him. The Moondogs argue post match.

The Machines say everything they’ve been saying for the last few weeks.

Overall Rating: D+. This was pretty boring here with nothing interesting on the whole show. The Piper scene was cool, if nothing else because of his swearing, but as a whole this was one of the weaker shows I can remember in a long time. The problem is nothing really happened until January so this was kind of a weak time. Bad show for the most part.

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Superstars of Wrestling – It’s The Debut Episode And…..That’s About It!

Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 6, 1986
Location; Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

So I was going to do the September 13 episode when I found out that it was the second episode of the series. This would be during Hogan vs. Orndorff in what was an absolutely huge feud and indirectly led into Hogan vs. Andre the following year. I’d expect a lot of squash matches here which is what Superstars was known for as it replaced Championship Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with an opening. There’s a good idea.

The announcers run down the people on the card tonight.

Ricky Steamboat/Sivi Afi vs. Roger Kirby/Terry Gibbs

The heels try to jump Steamboat and Afi but are quickly atomic dropped to the floor. Steamboat starts with Gibbs but it’s quickly off to Kirby. Now it’s quickly back to Ricky. Gibbs manages an elbow to take Afi down and the heels pound on Afi in the corner. A headbutt from Kirby puts him down but gets rolled up for two to stop the momentum. There’s the hot tag to Steamboat and house is cleaned. He suplexes Kirby down and Afi hits a top rope splash for the pin. Short but not half bad.

Video on Billy Graham training, set to Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Graham, with a freaking tarantula crawling over his face, says he’s coming for Studd and Bundy.

Hart Foundation vs. Koko B. Ware/Paul Roma

This is Koko’s debut. It’s also Ventura’s first appearance since Wrestlemania too. Neidhart and Koko start things off and Koko armdrags him down. Off to Roma who doesn’t have as much luck because he isn’t that good. Bret, who is that good, comes in and pounds him down with ease. Ventura praises him and we get an inset promo from Koko who has nothing to say. While he’s talking the Hart Attack pins Roma. Vince calls it bad officiating but it seemed fine to me.

Koko saves Roma from a beating post match.

MSG house show ad. The Machines, including Hulk Machine, are ready for Heenan and his boys. Hogan trying to sound Japanese is borderline offensive and I’m not even Japanese.

Honky Tonk Man is coming and he wants to beat up Paul Orndorff. He was a face when he debuted until the fans were actually asked if they would give him a vote of confidence. In other words, the fans decided if he was a face or a heel. Now there’s something different.

Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty vs. Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke

Luke isn’t that good but he furthered the hillbilly gimmick for Jim. Jim and Shaw start us off and the Hillbilly throws him around for a bit before it’s off to Luke. Luke doesn’t do that well so Jim comes in and mauls them both, finishing Doherty with the bearhug. Total squash.

Meadowlands house show ad. Heenan isn’t worried about Steamboat because he has Mr. Wonderful ready. Orndorff knows what a monkey wrench is, and just like Steamboat’s martial arts, that won’t mean a thing.

Kamala vs. Tommy Sharpe

This is Kamala’s return apparently. Kamala’s manager King Curtis tells us about how great Kamala is. Sharpe gets in more offense than you would expect here, but at the end of the day he’s a jobber and Kamala is a returning monster. The big splash ends this in about two minutes.

Time for the Flower Shop with Adrian Adonis which replaced Piper’s Pit and set up a great angle between the hosts. Piper is the guest and he’s still on a cane due to the knee injury he suffered earlier in the knee. He says he’s not here tonight to fight (despite implying Adonis is female) but he does have a letter. They’re the ratings for the segments on WWF TV, and apparently the Flower Shop is killing them. He gives Jimmy Hart another letter which says that the Flower Shop will be canceled next week so that Piper’s Pit can return. Adrian freaks and it’s on next week.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Mike Fever/Bob Bradley

Bradley was in the last show I reviewed and it was the only time I had ever heard of him. I love little things like that. The Rougeaus aren’t fabulous yet but they take Bradley apart to get things going. We listen to some French commentary for no apparent reason. Total dominance again with Ray getting the pin after the Cannonball that the Quebecers would use as their finisher years later.

We get a clip from a previous Flower Shop where Heenan tries to prove that one of the Machines is Andre the Giant but they keep switching places to confuse him.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Corporal Kirschner/SD Jones

The Corporal and Studd start us off with the Corporal hitting and moving. He pounds on Studd and goes for a slam but Bundy breaks it up. Bundy comes in and uses fat man offense but it’s back to Studd quickly. Jones comes in and it’s Wrestlemania all over again. The Avalanche gets the quick pin. Literal squash. Even Vince says this match wasn’t that good.

Another MSG ad. Harley Race says that Tito Santana is in way over his head.

Vince tells us what’s coming next week and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. For a debut episode this was pretty forgettable, but back then it wouldn’t have been seen as all that bad. The idea here was to pump up the house shows so on that front, it did pretty well. It’s hard to criticize these shows because they’re not meant to be some masterpiece and a show that’s going to get you to watch next week like Raw is today. It wasn’t that bad and at 45 minutes, how can I really complain?

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Best of the WWF Volume 14 – Here Is Your Winner……Bobby Heenan?

Best of the WWF Volume 14
Host: Gorilla Monsoon
Commentators: Craig DeGeorge, Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura

I found the rest of these that I have to do so I’ll be doing four batches of two each to finish them up. Due to how annoyed I got with the Clash series though, I’ll be doing other shows in between. Anyway this tape would be from late 87 so Hogan is on the verge of losing the title and we’re just before the Survivor Series or maybe just after it. Let’s get to it.

Rougeau Brothers/Brutus Beefcake vs. Dream Team/Johnny Valiant

This is a dark match from a Superstars taping in Indianapolis. Ray vs. Dino to start us off. Dino keeps running as you would expect him to. Valentine tries to cheat by holding Ray but Ray avoids the jumping knee. The place ERUPTS on something that simple. It’s amazing how you never see that anymore. Beefcake comes in and goes for Greg’s hair, resulting in the heels congregating on the floor.

Valiant, a manager remember, hides on the floor. Beefcake gets caught in the corner and even Valiant gets in some time on offense. Beefcake grabs a sleeper on Valentine but Valiant makes the save. Both Rougeaus come in and pound on Bravo as the place loses its mind. Boston Crab by Ray is broken up by Valentine, which draws Ray into the bad corner.

Back to Greg who gets a shoulderbreaker for two. In a pretty impressive power display, Ray counters a piledriver into the position for an Alabama Slam, but instead he walks towards his corner with Valentine on his back. Greg doesn’t let him get the tag but still it was impressive. Ray is on the floor and we’re clipped to a later point of him on the floor. Bravo drops another elbow and we’re clipped to Valentine in there instead.

Back to Bravo and Dino hammers away. This is the WWE 24/7 version so the big WWF Superstars of Wrestling banner is censored. Off to Johnny V and they just kind of let Ray tag in Brutus. He and Jacques clean house and it all breaks down. The heels are all thrown together and a pair of dropkicks send the non-managers to the floor. Valiant is put in the sleeper and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was fine. You never see stuff like this in modern wrestling and that’s a shame. There’s nothing too bad here and it was just a six man tag. The fans get to be happy and the faces get a win. There’s no bigger plan here and none of the guys really seem to be all obsessed about moving up the card. All that matters here is getting a win. Why can’t we see more of that?

Beefcake paints Valiant’s hair post match.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Wrestling Challenge match here, which is the equivalent of Superstars today. I don’t recognize that commentator. One of them is Mike McGuirk (female announcer), one is Nick Bockwinkel and I don’t recognize the third. I think it’s current TNA boss Bruce Pritchard. We’ll go with that. Bass is a cowboy and gets caught with a top rope chop to send him to the floor.

Bockwinkel talks about whether or not top rope moves should be banned. Give me a break. McGuirk is talking about how handsome/good looking Steamboat is. Ok then. Bass takes over and hits a chop for two. Powerslam gets the same. Swinging neckbreaker gets countered and both guys are down. Steamboat counters a suplex into one of his own. They slug it out from their knees and then ram heads. Sleeper is countered by Bass and they go to the floor. They brawl to a double countout.

Rating: F. Horribly dull match here as both guys were in about -5th gear the whole time. Steamboat was coming back from the time off where his wife had a baby (and he lost the IC Title as a result) so maybe it was rust. This was awful though and probably the worst Steamboat match I’ve ever seen.

Steamboat actually wins via countout, in case you were going to write me a very angry letter.

Koko B. Ware vs. Danny Davis

In MSG here. Davis is an ex-referee and has Jimmy with him. Davis pounds away to start as we have Heenan, Hayes and Gorilla on commentary here which is a nice change of pace over what we just had to sit through. Anyone else think they’re stretching for Best of the WWF with this? Davis fires away on him but Koko easily knocks him back outside. Back in, Koko backdrops him, we go back outside. By this I mean Davis hides out there.

Back in, for some reason Davis wants a handshake but Koko gets him to put his hand on the mat where he can stomp on it. Back to the floor AGAIN. For the love of…..THEY DID IT AGAIN!!! STAY IN THE FREAKING RING ALREADY!!! Davis gets in, doesn’t touch Koko, and runs back to the floor. Seriously, that’s the sixth time in less than five minutes. Test of strength wastes even more time.

Koko dances around, hits a dropkick, and Davis is outside for the seventh time. Koko sends him into the corner but misses what we would call a Bronco Buster to a standing Davis to change control. Davis works on him using stuff that would make Darren Young call it boring. Sleeper goes on for awhile until Koko throws on one of his own. Davis tries a splash but it hits knees. They go out to the floor (9) and Danny tries to go out again but Koko grabs him for a bunch of headbutts. Koko pounds on him and the referee pulls him off, allowing Hart to slip Davis something. The weakest punch ever with an object ends this.

Rating: F. Oh brother these last two matches have not been kind to the first one. Having Davis go outside nearly ten times and then the way it finished….oh dear. I get that Davis is a referee and not supposed to be very good, but that doesn’t mean that he should be out there for nearly 15 minutes. Horribly dull match that was supposed to be comedy but was missing the funny parts.

Junkyard Dog vs. Ted DiBiase

Holy Mid-South Batman! Dog backdrops him while his song is still playing to start this fast. From what I can find this is at a Wrestling Challenge taping in Green Bay, Wisconsin. DiBiase is pretty new at this point but hasn’t quite hit his stride yet. DiBiase tries to run away and stall. If this turns into another Davis match I might go find some ECW to watch. It has to be more exciting than this. Ted rams JYD’s head into the buckle and that just fails.

Out to the floor as Bockwinkel and McGuirk argue over who has a harder head. I’m not touching that one. Dog gets on all fours for the headbutts but DiBiase rolls to the floor. McGuirk’s contribution to the match: “Both men want a win in this match.” What would we do without you? Dog works on the arm but misses a falling headbutt to give DiBiase momentum.

DiBiase drops the falling punches. I wonder if that’s a momentum deal or what. Why drop them like that? In something you won’t often see, DiBiase goes up for the jump into the foot spot, but instead he jumps into Dog’s fist. That’s a new one. Virgil gets involved and dropped on the floor. DiBiase tries to suplex Dog back in but Dog falls on him but DiBiase rolls through for the pin.

Rating: D. Still boring and not a good match at all, but it’s way better than the previous one. Know the main reason why? THEY ACTUALLY WRESTLED. Dog was old and slow at this point but he was still a name that you could still get something out of beating. Nothing to see here though and DiBiase would take off soon.

Spiros Arion/Yukon Lumberjacks vs. Andre the Giant/Tony Garea/Dino Bravo

This is from the late 70s. The Lumberjacks are the tag champions and named Eric and Pierre. We’re in MSG here and this is 2/3 falls. Very international match here with three Canadians, a Frenchman, a Greek and a New Zealander. Vince is the lone commentator here and actually calls Andre Andre Roussimoff. Eric is the Lumberjack with blonde hair. Got it. He starts with Garea.

Two quick armdrags send Eric running to bring in Arion. I think we’re clipped but I’m not sure. This is just punching. Off to Pierre, meaning Garea has fought all three guys now. Off to a top wristlock and I think the camera is just jumping around a lot. Either that or it’s the best clipping I’ve ever seen. Eric comes in again and gets slammed. The heels finally get Tony into the corner but Andre breaks that up, drawing a DQ for the first fall. I forgot it was 2/3 so that bell was really surprising. Oh wait the Lumberjacks got disqualified for the triple teaming. Ok then.

Garea and Eric start the second fall as well. Bravo comes in for the first time and I’ve never seen him move that fast. Arion comes in and we get a crisscross. Bravo beats Eric up for awhile but Pierre comes in to take over. A slam gets two. Off to Andre and the place erupts. See, this is something you don’t have in WWE anymore: an attraction. Andre was someone that was beloved and the people didn’t care what he did.

Andre here is in the last match of the night (more brilliant booking. Why have him in the middle and let everyone leave after he’s been in the ring? More beers and Cokes sold while people wait) and it’s a worthless six man tag, but the people want to see him. It’s not about some angle or the world title or whatever. It’s about Andre and whatever he’s doing. The people told the company what they wanted to see and that’s who got the big spot. Not the other way around. Very key difference. As for the match, a splash ends it about 10 seconds after Andre comes in.

Rating: C-. The match was boring, but it’s amazing to see something like Andre when he was still young(ish) and could move. The crowd reacts to him and that’s all it needs to be. He didn’t have to spend ten minutes sucking up to them. He was cool and the fans reacted to it. What more did you need than that?

Paul Orndorff vs. Hercules

This is Orndorff vs. Heenan Family, which went on forever and involved Orndorff hiring and firing Heenan twice. Orndorff is part of the House of Humperdink. Orndorff is a power guy but he’s using speed here because he’s also smart. Hercules gets in a shot to break up Paul’s momentum after he skins the cat. Paul did the skinning if that was unclear. A clothesline gets three twos.

We’re in Milwaukee if you care. The fans cheer for Paul but he can’t make much of a comeback. Off to the bearhug which is a power man staple of the late 80s. Actually the 80s in general. Bearhug is countered into a small package for Orndorff, getting two. Orndorff makes his comeback and hits the Piledriver (finisher) but Rude runs in for the DQ. This was Rude’s first feud as he had only been in the company about three months at this point.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but it didn’t have the time to get going. Orndorff was WAY over at this time though and Heenan and his boys were hated so the crowd was very into things here. Orndorff would be retired for the first time very soon after this due to a very bad arm/neck injury he suffered when feuding with Hogan the year before. When you’re making somewhere between $10,000-20,000 a week though, you don’t bother taking time off for arm surgery.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby Heenan

This is from 1984 and there’s no story to it. Heenan just used to be a wrestler on occasion. Heenan bails to the apron of course because he’s Bobby Heenan. Bellomo beats on Heenan like he stole something and flips him in the corner. Heenan takes a bunch of dropkicks, including one sending him into the post. Heenan needs a doctor. Back in and Bobby takes even more of a beating.

Bobby actually takes over with a rake to the eyes and a lot of basic stuff. Then again, what are you expecting from Bobby Heenan the Wrestler? They collide and Heenan looks dead. Bellomo drives in some headbutts but Heenan pokes him in the eyes. Out to the floor and Heenan pops him as he comes back in. A guillotine puts Sal on the floor for the third time. Bellomo tries a sunset flip but Heenan punches him in the face, drops on top of him, AND GETS A CLEAN PIN.

Rating: A+. Bobby Heenan got a clean pin. Do you realize what it means for your career when you get pinned clean in Madison Square Garden by BOBBY HEENAN??? The match sucked but totally awesome for surprise value. This is on Heenan’s DVD.

Tito Santana vs. Killer Khan

This is from Houston and I don’t know this announcer either. Khan is a guy that is the walking definition of the monster foreign heel. He had a big feud with Andre which we’ll get to on one of these tapes and a quick feud with Hogan. One of the announcers is named Paul Boesch who ran Houston Wrestling forever. Apparently the other is Pete Doherty. Khan takes over with power to start of course.

We hear about an upcoming card in about three weeks which sounds a lot better than this one. We also hear about Ted DiBiase, who is actually A GOOD GUY here. Tito gets him in the position for what we would call Shattered Dreams. Some kicks to the thighs result in Khan going to the floor and a fan making fun of him. Tito controls as this is a very bad monster heel.

Off to a hammerlock and Khan looks like he’s about to cry. Khan finally gets something like a spinebuster and a middle rope punch. Tito channels his inner Kirk and beats up the KHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, knocking him to the apron and choking with the bottom rope. A running knee hits Khan but Tito gets picked up and crotched on the top rope….for a DQ? Different time I guess.

Rating: D. Another weak match but Khan’s best days were already behind him at this point. Nothing to see here and Khan was a really weak opponent here. Hearing about the Angry Mongolian and Boesch’s pronunciation of Tee-Toe was fun though. Still, bad match to end a very boring tape with.

Overall Rating: F+. Other than the fun Heenan match (which is only fun for the ending) and the opener which was just ok at best, there’s a whole lot of awful on this one. Absolutely terrible tape as they couldn’t have made a worse selection of matches. Nothing but cheap finishes that would have had any house show crowd rolling their eyes. Bad tape and certainly not worth seeing.

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The Big Event – 70,000 People Standing Outside Watching Hulk Hogan

The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 70,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jimmy Valiant, Ernie Ladd

You read the attendance right. This was by far and away the biggest crowd in North American history until about 8 months later when they got almost 20,000 more into the stands. This was about one match: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff. This was actually a really big house show as it was before PPV really got going and therefore this was just what the title says: A Big Event.

As you know I know my old school but I can only think of one other match on the card: Roberts vs. Steamboat. This would have been Summerslam had Summerslam existed yet though as it was easily bigger than Mania 2 and wouldn’t be trumped until next year in the biggest event of all time. So with all that being said, let’s get to this.

The opening is Gene in a helicopter talking about how awesome Toronto is which is interspersed with clips of the show. The crowd is LOUD. This show is outside in case I forgot to mention that. I’ve heard between 65 and 74 thousand for the card but 70,000 is what I hear most. To put that into perspective, that’s more than Mania 6 or 17. This really does look freaking amazing.

Killer Bees vs. Hoss Funk/Jimmy Jack Funk

Hoss is more commonly known as Dory so we’ll go with that. Jimmy was a jobber and Dory was a former world champion. We get a wide shot and it just looks amazing. Dory and Brian Blair start us off. Jimmy does look a bit like Terry if nothing else. This has been all Bees so far.

Jimmy is wearing a mask for no apparent reason. Ernie Ladd never talks and it’s kind of annoying. The heels finally take over as I guess Dory just got bored out there. Ernie throws out this gem: he slammed him to the mat there with a move called a slam. That sums things up pretty well I’d say. The Bees put the masks on and cheat to get the win. There’s an echo on the mic which is cool for some reason.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener. It wasn’t a bad tag match at all and it got the crowd into things which is really all you can ask for in a match like this. It definitely could have used a minute or so off in the middle though.

King Tonga vs. Don Muraco

Both are heels here and Tonga is more commonly known as Haku/Meng. He looks weird in regular tights too. I think he’s supposed to be a face but he’s just not popular at all. He’s also referred to as both King Tonga and Haku. He works on the arm, like a lot. I mean he works on that thing like there’s no freaking tomorrow.

We’re at about 5 minutes of just arm work. Valiant and Ladd are rather annoying men. And now we hit a two minute nerve hold. I have a bad feeling I know where this is going to go. Good grief this is just boring. Nothing of note happens for the better part of ever and then we have a time limit draw at about seventeen of the twenty minutes. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. I hate matches like these. Draws are fine, but dang man this was just freaking boring. Haku using a high cross body was cool though. Either way, this just wasn’t interesting at all.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Garea is replacing Tony Atlas. I don’t know much about Garea but I suddenly want to laugh quite a bit. Arcidi is a big power guy and Garea is just generic as possible. The ropes keep making this weird sound when they hit them. Arcidi legitimately held the world bench press record for years. There must be a fight or something going on as a ton of fans are all looking to see something as the ropes are really getting annoying. Garea taps to a bear hug soon after this.

Rating: N/A. This was a total squash and wasn’t that interesting. He would be gone in a few months while Garea still works for the company behind the scenes today.

Jimmy Hart says he’ll get JYD tonight.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

It’s so cool to see the thousands of people and have a row cut out in there for the guys to come through. It looks completely awesome. Hart has a freaking feather duster for some reason. Adonis is rather gay in case you weren’t familiar with him. He’s also about 400lbs here.

About two years before this he was a big deal actually as a biker character. I love that Dog’s theme song is about grabbing a girl’s hips. Adonis is bleeding pretty badly already. Ok apparently not as I refuse to listen to Ernie Ladd anymore.

Jimmy sprays perfume or cologne or whatever in Dog’s face to break the momentum though and Adonis goes to work. Dog no sells two megaphone shots and they fight on the floor. The referee gets to about 8 and then we go into the ring and Adonis is thrown into Hart and falls BACK OUT OF THE RING after being completely in for the count out. I think they botched that one.

Rating: D+. This was a standard 80s match but I don’t get the ending at all. It wasn’t any good which I would blame on the wrestlers and JYD is an annoying waste of oxygen as it is so there we are. This was just filler.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Dick Slater

Oh yeah Slater is the rebel. No one cares. Sharpe is up there with Horowitz and Brawler in the jobbing hall of fame. Mike likes to talk a lot. The announcers talk about how great Sharpe is. Really? From what I’ve read he was completely OCD so having this many people in the audience must have driven him insane.

There really isn’t much here as it’s really a glorified squash for Slater who would never mean a thing in wrestling, at least not in this company. He was ok in other companies but he’s at his best in ring stuff here, which isn’t saying much at all.

Monsoon wants to know why Sharpe has had his arm in a cast kind of thing for over 8 years and Valiant just starts screaming at him that he should go out to dinner with Sharpe and ask him because Valiant doesn’t know. That came out of nowhere. Anyway, Slater hits an elbow from the top and jackknifes (it’s a king of rollup, not the powerbomb) him for the win.

Rating: D. Did we really need six minutes of these two guys? I certainly wouldn’t think so. This wasn’t interesting or particularly good but a jobber got beat up so there we are.

I think we had an intermission here.

Heenan is with Gene and he’s in a 6 man here. He says he’ll unmask the Machines tonight. He gets in a great line with “We have 70,000 people here because Heenan is wrestling and wrestling is Heenan.” He also manages to get the entire crowd chanting weasel.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Lou Albano vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah yes the Machines. Now this was the epitome of a comedy angle that took off for a little while. The idea was that Andre the Giant was suspended for (kayfabe) not showing up for a match. Soon thereafter two new masked guys from Japan appeared: Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (duh).

Over the Summer they feuded with Heenan, Studd and Bundy with guest appearances by Piper Machine, Animal Machine and Hulk Machine. It was total tongue in cheek, kind of like Mr. America with Hogan. They were eventually joined by Big Machine who was Blackjack Mulligan when Andre could barely move.

Andre was kind of the manager and only wrestled occasionally. The angle ended about two months after this to set up Mania 3. Anyway let’s get to this. We get a shot from the broadcast booth and the ring is TINY. Studd and Super Machine start us out. The Machines’ strength is freaking impressive.

Ax is by far and away the smallest one. What does that tell you? Gorilla says he’s been over 500 pounds before but at Mania 4 said the biggest he ever wrestled at was 440. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t trust Gorilla Monsoon! Ok I’m back now I think.

With Big Machine down Heenan comes in and goes for the mask. Super Machine is like screw that and drills him. Bundy was just a big fat waste of oxygen. You can tell he was just thrown into Mania. Look where he was just 4 months later. Heenan comes in again and Albano comes in also.

Super Mario kicks his teeth in for a bit but a thumb in the eye and the heels beat up Albano. Andre has had enough and just comes in there and starts cleaning house which causes the DQ. He was just freaking terrifying when he got mad. Ax being the smallest guy by far is a freaky sight.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match so that’s fine. The Machines were just a fun team so this worked fine. Andre was fun as anyone when he could move and this was no exception. It was nothing serious and it wasn’t supposed to be.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Snakepit Match meaning anything goes. Roberts had DDTed Steamboat on the floor at a SNME and nearly killed him to ignite this feud which was the second biggest of the summer. Dragon had busted out a Komodo Dragon to counter Damien but neither are here tonight due to customs issues. The two commentators that talk say that the Canadian flag has an oak leaf on it.

Dragon dominates until we hit the floor where Jake takes over after a low blow. Steamboat gets a few chair shots in and that just was weird to type. Dragon just beats the heck out of him for awhile but gets reversed and goes over the top to the floor. Valiant thinks Roberts is a champion for some reason. Roberts is one of those guys that was supposed to be a heel but more or less became a face through just pure fan support.

Dragon starts bleeding after going into the post but fights out of the DDT. Jake is dominating now and getting face pops for it. And then he sits on Dragon’s chest and holds his arm up and you know the rest. They would have another match in a few weeks on SNME with the animals that I reviewed last night to close out the feud.

Rating: B. This was a very intense match. Street fights and the like simply didn’t happen in this era so this was insane at the time. Both guys were great workers so this worked out very well. Steamboat was about to have his throat messed up by Savage and you know the aftermath of that.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

As you may know this one happened at Mania 3 as well. Gorilla is on his own for this one which is likely the best case scenario. Hercules has the insane hair here, looking like Mike Knox but not as tall and we’re told that since this has happened Slick has taken over for Blassie’s contracts.

What that has to do with this match is beyond me as neither guy ever managed either of them that I remember. Heenan had Hercules by Mania. What a nice break it is to just have Monsoon talking as he is just so easy to listen to. Apparently Hercules is managed by Slick.

OH YEAH I remember Heenan buying him now. Slick owned him for like a cup of coffee I guess. There’s no heat at all for this match as the fans are just dead. To be fair though this is like the 8th match so far. Also based on what everyone has said it’s really cold in the stadium. Haynes gets a backslide to get a quick pin.

Rating: C-. The lack of heat just killed this and I can’t blame them. No one cared at all and it just wasn’t that interesting. Both guys would mean very little until Hercules got a mini push in the following year or two. Boring match though.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Valentine and Beefcake who Valiant usually manages. The Rougeaus are wearing red for some reason. Oh great and Valentine is too. We get an abdominal stretch and naturally Monsoon complains. The Rougeaus are one of those teams that just flows so well that it’s amazing to say the least. They’re also great high fliers that can just show off, kind of like the Hardys or something like that. Good night there are a lot of people there.

This is your standard 80s tag match which means that it’s pretty good. Beefcake just sucked back I the day though and this is no exception. He would be replaced by Bravo at Mania 3. After a very long and drawn out match which thankfully got enough time, we hit the brawl and Valentine has the figure four. In a SWEET ending, the illegal Rougeau gets a sunset flip on him as he bends over to put the hold back on for the pin. I love that.

Rating: B-. This was another fun and good match that did its job well. It’s the second longest match of the night after the draw from earlier and it’s one of the better ones on the card. It was solid but the really needed to get Bravo out there ASAP. Valiant is ticked off over that ending.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

They’re both old and they’re both fat. They’re also rather slow and it’s not interesting at all anymore. The main event is next so this is likely Hogan’s effort to make people forget the previous good match so that he looks good next. He did it to the whole company in about 8 years with WCW. The referees have more or less sucked all night as they never count fast enough. Race gets a double leg trip and uses the ropes for the easy pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just a filler to put some space between the two matches that were good and nothing more.

Hogan says he’ll win.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

This is the hottest feud in the world as Orndorff had turned face to help Hogan with Piper and Orton but Hogan had more or less been a jerk (I don’t know about you but I’m STUNNED over that) to him and wouldn’t answer the phone when he was working out. Heenan then poked Orndorff into believing that Hogan didn’t ever care about him but that Heenan always would.

Orndorff, wanting to be accepted and not used, turned to the dark side and beat up Hogan at a big show to set up this which launched the hottest feud in perhaps ever at this point. This was the only reason that this whole show happened on such a huge stage, much like Hogan vs. Andre. The only difference here is that there wasn’t a Savage vs. Steamboat to balance it out. Also, Mania would have nearly 20,000 more people, or another Madison Square Garden on top of this. That’s just completely ridiculous.

They start off with just a big freaking brawl and the fans are WAY into this. This is more or less all punching and chasing until Heenan makes the stop and the heel takes over. Orndorff was a different kind of heel as instead of this big fat slob, he was small and athletic which was something new for Hogan. Also there were a lot of people that were siding with Orndorff as Hogan had really just been a massive jerk to him.

Ladd really likes kissing up to Hogan. He’s getting into Vince territory, but then again Hogan has muscles and Vince is way too obsessed with musclemen. GOOD NIGHT that referee is slow. Paul dominates until Hogan starts to Hulk Up. He uses a jumping knee to the back of Orndorff and the referee is crushed. Hogan imitates Orndorff with the arm in the air for the clothesline which is how Orndorff turned on him.

He goes for Orndorff’s piledriver but Heenan runs in with a wooden stool to blast Hogan in the head. Why he had that is beyond me. For no apparent reason the referee wakes up and taps Orndorff to say that Hogan wins by DQ. Hogan wakes up and kicks his face in for no apparent reason other than being a jerk. We get a replay with no commentary for no apparent reason before posing and credits take us out.

Rating: B-. This was all about the atmosphere and not about the match itself. Even still this was fine as both guys were over beyond belief in their respective roles and this was indeed a huge match. Hogan going over unclean was smart as it gave Orndorff a reason for a rematch which was required so all was fine here. I’m not sure I get why Paul was disqualified but it was Hogan’s world so there we are.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s definitely recommended though. This was a lot like Mania 3 where the main event was the only selling point to this but that’s all it needed. 70,000 people was just completely unheard of back then so this was light years ahead of anything ever seen before and still ranks right up there for all time crowds.

The main event is awesome for feeling if nothing else and while the rest of the card sucks, the crowd gives it the atmosphere that makes it worth seeing. Think of this as a rehearsal for Wrestlemania before you watch it, which you should as it’s a fun show if you’re an old school fan.