Superstars of Wrestling
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back with the last episode of this series that I have at the moment, although that’s likely to change. With Superstars there isn’t much you can predict as far as matches, but I would expect something more from Piper vs. Adonis which is the top angle on the show at the moment. There’s also supposed to be an interview with Hogan which should be good. Let’s get to it.

Intro and whatnot.

Randy Barber vs. Koko B. Ware

An inset promo from Koko tells us that his bird is named Frankie. Jesse wants a jump off between Koko and Brunzell. Koko throws him around for awhile and hits some dropkicks and a neckbreaker before the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) gets the pin.

Video of Hillbilly Jim singing a song I believe at the reception for Uncle Elmer’s wedding.

Sika vs. Mario Mancini

I’ve heard of Mancini I think. Sika chops him down and chokes to start and we get a chinlock in a squash match. I don’t recall seeing that before. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside the Samoan Drop finishes this.

Tito is ready for his match with Race tonight in Boston. Why does Race wear that ovrcoat when it’s hot out?

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

Savage says he’ll go to a different galazy tonight and says the gimmick is No DQ. Holy cocaine promo Batman.

Paul Orndorff vs. Dan Haskins

The stolen music continues. Orndorff says the music is his now and not Hogan’s anymore. Paul gives him a clean break to start but the second time he hits him in the ribs. Out to the floor for a slam as Heenan praises things on. Clothesline, piledriver, see ya.

We see Piper, in his trunks for some reason, in the back yelling while on a crutch and holding a ball bat. He goes psycho and DESTROYS the Flower Shop with the bat, falling over from swinging so far.

Dan McGuire vs. Randy Savage

Billy Graham wants the Intercontinental Championship Belt “of the entire universe”. Savage sends him to the floor and rams him into the barricade with an ax handle off the top. Slam and elbow finish this quick.

Jesse talks to Hogan who is wearing a Harley-Davidson bandana. Hulk doesn’t think much of Orndorff and doesn’t think he’s a real American. There’s a birther joke in there somewhere.

Moondogs vs. Killer Bees

Blair and Rex start us off and Vince calls a clothesline a necktie for some reason. Both Moondogs get slammed and it’s off to Spot vs. Brunzell. Brunzell gets in trouble for a good ten seconds before hitting his dropkick and an enziguri and tagging Blair back in. Blair cleans house and Rex hits Spot so Blair can pin him. The Moondogs argue post match.

The Machines say everything they’ve been saying for the last few weeks.

Overall Rating: D+. This was pretty boring here with nothing interesting on the whole show. The Piper scene was cool, if nothing else because of his swearing, but as a whole this was one of the weaker shows I can remember in a long time. The problem is nothing really happened until January so this was kind of a weak time. Bad show for the most part.

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Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 6, 1986
Location; Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Bruno Sammartino

So I was going to do the September 13 episode when I found out that it was the second episode of the series. This would be during Hogan vs. Orndorff in what was an absolutely huge feud and indirectly led into Hogan vs. Andre the following year. I’d expect a lot of squash matches here which is what Superstars was known for as it replaced Championship Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with an opening. There’s a good idea.

The announcers run down the people on the card tonight.

Ricky Steamboat/Sivi Afi vs. Roger Kirby/Terry Gibbs

The heels try to jump Steamboat and Afi but are quickly atomic dropped to the floor. Steamboat starts with Gibbs but it’s quickly off to Kirby. Now it’s quickly back to Ricky. Gibbs manages an elbow to take Afi down and the heels pound on Afi in the corner. A headbutt from Kirby puts him down but gets rolled up for two to stop the momentum. There’s the hot tag to Steamboat and house is cleaned. He suplexes Kirby down and Afi hits a top rope splash for the pin. Short but not half bad.

Video on Billy Graham training, set to Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. Graham, with a freaking tarantula crawling over his face, says he’s coming for Studd and Bundy.

Hart Foundation vs. Koko B. Ware/Paul Roma

This is Koko’s debut. It’s also Ventura’s first appearance since Wrestlemania too. Neidhart and Koko start things off and Koko armdrags him down. Off to Roma who doesn’t have as much luck because he isn’t that good. Bret, who is that good, comes in and pounds him down with ease. Ventura praises him and we get an inset promo from Koko who has nothing to say. While he’s talking the Hart Attack pins Roma. Vince calls it bad officiating but it seemed fine to me.

Koko saves Roma from a beating post match.

MSG house show ad. The Machines, including Hulk Machine, are ready for Heenan and his boys. Hogan trying to sound Japanese is borderline offensive and I’m not even Japanese.

Honky Tonk Man is coming and he wants to beat up Paul Orndorff. He was a face when he debuted until the fans were actually asked if they would give him a vote of confidence. In other words, the fans decided if he was a face or a heel. Now there’s something different.

Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty vs. Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke

Luke isn’t that good but he furthered the hillbilly gimmick for Jim. Jim and Shaw start us off and the Hillbilly throws him around for a bit before it’s off to Luke. Luke doesn’t do that well so Jim comes in and mauls them both, finishing Doherty with the bearhug. Total squash.

Meadowlands house show ad. Heenan isn’t worried about Steamboat because he has Mr. Wonderful ready. Orndorff knows what a monkey wrench is, and just like Steamboat’s martial arts, that won’t mean a thing.

Kamala vs. Tommy Sharpe

This is Kamala’s return apparently. Kamala’s manager King Curtis tells us about how great Kamala is. Sharpe gets in more offense than you would expect here, but at the end of the day he’s a jobber and Kamala is a returning monster. The big splash ends this in about two minutes.

Time for the Flower Shop with Adrian Adonis which replaced Piper’s Pit and set up a great angle between the hosts. Piper is the guest and he’s still on a cane due to the knee injury he suffered earlier in the knee. He says he’s not here tonight to fight (despite implying Adonis is female) but he does have a letter. They’re the ratings for the segments on WWF TV, and apparently the Flower Shop is killing them. He gives Jimmy Hart another letter which says that the Flower Shop will be canceled next week so that Piper’s Pit can return. Adrian freaks and it’s on next week.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Mike Fever/Bob Bradley

Bradley was in the last show I reviewed and it was the only time I had ever heard of him. I love little things like that. The Rougeaus aren’t fabulous yet but they take Bradley apart to get things going. We listen to some French commentary for no apparent reason. Total dominance again with Ray getting the pin after the Cannonball that the Quebecers would use as their finisher years later.

We get a clip from a previous Flower Shop where Heenan tries to prove that one of the Machines is Andre the Giant but they keep switching places to confuse him.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Corporal Kirschner/SD Jones

The Corporal and Studd start us off with the Corporal hitting and moving. He pounds on Studd and goes for a slam but Bundy breaks it up. Bundy comes in and uses fat man offense but it’s back to Studd quickly. Jones comes in and it’s Wrestlemania all over again. The Avalanche gets the quick pin. Literal squash. Even Vince says this match wasn’t that good.

Another MSG ad. Harley Race says that Tito Santana is in way over his head.

Vince tells us what’s coming next week and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. For a debut episode this was pretty forgettable, but back then it wouldn’t have been seen as all that bad. The idea here was to pump up the house shows so on that front, it did pretty well. It’s hard to criticize these shows because they’re not meant to be some masterpiece and a show that’s going to get you to watch next week like Raw is today. It wasn’t that bad and at 45 minutes, how can I really complain?

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Best of the WWF Volume 14
Host: Gorilla Monsoon
Commentators: Craig DeGeorge, Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura

I found the rest of these that I have to do so I’ll be doing four batches of two each to finish them up. Due to how annoyed I got with the Clash series though, I’ll be doing other shows in between. Anyway this tape would be from late 87 so Hogan is on the verge of losing the title and we’re just before the Survivor Series or maybe just after it. Let’s get to it.

Rougeau Brothers/Brutus Beefcake vs. Dream Team/Johnny Valiant

This is a dark match from a Superstars taping in Indianapolis. Ray vs. Dino to start us off. Dino keeps running as you would expect him to. Valentine tries to cheat by holding Ray but Ray avoids the jumping knee. The place ERUPTS on something that simple. It’s amazing how you never see that anymore. Beefcake comes in and goes for Greg’s hair, resulting in the heels congregating on the floor.

Valiant, a manager remember, hides on the floor. Beefcake gets caught in the corner and even Valiant gets in some time on offense. Beefcake grabs a sleeper on Valentine but Valiant makes the save. Both Rougeaus come in and pound on Bravo as the place loses its mind. Boston Crab by Ray is broken up by Valentine, which draws Ray into the bad corner.

Back to Greg who gets a shoulderbreaker for two. In a pretty impressive power display, Ray counters a piledriver into the position for an Alabama Slam, but instead he walks towards his corner with Valentine on his back. Greg doesn’t let him get the tag but still it was impressive. Ray is on the floor and we’re clipped to a later point of him on the floor. Bravo drops another elbow and we’re clipped to Valentine in there instead.

Back to Bravo and Dino hammers away. This is the WWE 24/7 version so the big WWF Superstars of Wrestling banner is censored. Off to Johnny V and they just kind of let Ray tag in Brutus. He and Jacques clean house and it all breaks down. The heels are all thrown together and a pair of dropkicks send the non-managers to the floor. Valiant is put in the sleeper and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was fine. You never see stuff like this in modern wrestling and that’s a shame. There’s nothing too bad here and it was just a six man tag. The fans get to be happy and the faces get a win. There’s no bigger plan here and none of the guys really seem to be all obsessed about moving up the card. All that matters here is getting a win. Why can’t we see more of that?

Beefcake paints Valiant’s hair post match.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Wrestling Challenge match here, which is the equivalent of Superstars today. I don’t recognize that commentator. One of them is Mike McGuirk (female announcer), one is Nick Bockwinkel and I don’t recognize the third. I think it’s current TNA boss Bruce Pritchard. We’ll go with that. Bass is a cowboy and gets caught with a top rope chop to send him to the floor.

Bockwinkel talks about whether or not top rope moves should be banned. Give me a break. McGuirk is talking about how handsome/good looking Steamboat is. Ok then. Bass takes over and hits a chop for two. Powerslam gets the same. Swinging neckbreaker gets countered and both guys are down. Steamboat counters a suplex into one of his own. They slug it out from their knees and then ram heads. Sleeper is countered by Bass and they go to the floor. They brawl to a double countout.

Rating: F. Horribly dull match here as both guys were in about -5th gear the whole time. Steamboat was coming back from the time off where his wife had a baby (and he lost the IC Title as a result) so maybe it was rust. This was awful though and probably the worst Steamboat match I’ve ever seen.

Steamboat actually wins via countout, in case you were going to write me a very angry letter.

Koko B. Ware vs. Danny Davis

In MSG here. Davis is an ex-referee and has Jimmy with him. Davis pounds away to start as we have Heenan, Hayes and Gorilla on commentary here which is a nice change of pace over what we just had to sit through. Anyone else think they’re stretching for Best of the WWF with this? Davis fires away on him but Koko easily knocks him back outside. Back in, Koko backdrops him, we go back outside. By this I mean Davis hides out there.

Back in, for some reason Davis wants a handshake but Koko gets him to put his hand on the mat where he can stomp on it. Back to the floor AGAIN. For the love of…..THEY DID IT AGAIN!!! STAY IN THE FREAKING RING ALREADY!!! Davis gets in, doesn’t touch Koko, and runs back to the floor. Seriously, that’s the sixth time in less than five minutes. Test of strength wastes even more time.

Koko dances around, hits a dropkick, and Davis is outside for the seventh time. Koko sends him into the corner but misses what we would call a Bronco Buster to a standing Davis to change control. Davis works on him using stuff that would make Darren Young call it boring. Sleeper goes on for awhile until Koko throws on one of his own. Davis tries a splash but it hits knees. They go out to the floor (9) and Danny tries to go out again but Koko grabs him for a bunch of headbutts. Koko pounds on him and the referee pulls him off, allowing Hart to slip Davis something. The weakest punch ever with an object ends this.

Rating: F. Oh brother these last two matches have not been kind to the first one. Having Davis go outside nearly ten times and then the way it finished….oh dear. I get that Davis is a referee and not supposed to be very good, but that doesn’t mean that he should be out there for nearly 15 minutes. Horribly dull match that was supposed to be comedy but was missing the funny parts.

Junkyard Dog vs. Ted DiBiase

Holy Mid-South Batman! Dog backdrops him while his song is still playing to start this fast. From what I can find this is at a Wrestling Challenge taping in Green Bay, Wisconsin. DiBiase is pretty new at this point but hasn’t quite hit his stride yet. DiBiase tries to run away and stall. If this turns into another Davis match I might go find some ECW to watch. It has to be more exciting than this. Ted rams JYD’s head into the buckle and that just fails.

Out to the floor as Bockwinkel and McGuirk argue over who has a harder head. I’m not touching that one. Dog gets on all fours for the headbutts but DiBiase rolls to the floor. McGuirk’s contribution to the match: “Both men want a win in this match.” What would we do without you? Dog works on the arm but misses a falling headbutt to give DiBiase momentum.

DiBiase drops the falling punches. I wonder if that’s a momentum deal or what. Why drop them like that? In something you won’t often see, DiBiase goes up for the jump into the foot spot, but instead he jumps into Dog’s fist. That’s a new one. Virgil gets involved and dropped on the floor. DiBiase tries to suplex Dog back in but Dog falls on him but DiBiase rolls through for the pin.

Rating: D. Still boring and not a good match at all, but it’s way better than the previous one. Know the main reason why? THEY ACTUALLY WRESTLED. Dog was old and slow at this point but he was still a name that you could still get something out of beating. Nothing to see here though and DiBiase would take off soon.

Spiros Arion/Yukon Lumberjacks vs. Andre the Giant/Tony Garea/Dino Bravo

This is from the late 70s. The Lumberjacks are the tag champions and named Eric and Pierre. We’re in MSG here and this is 2/3 falls. Very international match here with three Canadians, a Frenchman, a Greek and a New Zealander. Vince is the lone commentator here and actually calls Andre Andre Roussimoff. Eric is the Lumberjack with blonde hair. Got it. He starts with Garea.

Two quick armdrags send Eric running to bring in Arion. I think we’re clipped but I’m not sure. This is just punching. Off to Pierre, meaning Garea has fought all three guys now. Off to a top wristlock and I think the camera is just jumping around a lot. Either that or it’s the best clipping I’ve ever seen. Eric comes in again and gets slammed. The heels finally get Tony into the corner but Andre breaks that up, drawing a DQ for the first fall. I forgot it was 2/3 so that bell was really surprising. Oh wait the Lumberjacks got disqualified for the triple teaming. Ok then.

Garea and Eric start the second fall as well. Bravo comes in for the first time and I’ve never seen him move that fast. Arion comes in and we get a crisscross. Bravo beats Eric up for awhile but Pierre comes in to take over. A slam gets two. Off to Andre and the place erupts. See, this is something you don’t have in WWE anymore: an attraction. Andre was someone that was beloved and the people didn’t care what he did.

Andre here is in the last match of the night (more brilliant booking. Why have him in the middle and let everyone leave after he’s been in the ring? More beers and Cokes sold while people wait) and it’s a worthless six man tag, but the people want to see him. It’s not about some angle or the world title or whatever. It’s about Andre and whatever he’s doing. The people told the company what they wanted to see and that’s who got the big spot. Not the other way around. Very key difference. As for the match, a splash ends it about 10 seconds after Andre comes in.

Rating: C-. The match was boring, but it’s amazing to see something like Andre when he was still young(ish) and could move. The crowd reacts to him and that’s all it needs to be. He didn’t have to spend ten minutes sucking up to them. He was cool and the fans reacted to it. What more did you need than that?

Paul Orndorff vs. Hercules

This is Orndorff vs. Heenan Family, which went on forever and involved Orndorff hiring and firing Heenan twice. Orndorff is part of the House of Humperdink. Orndorff is a power guy but he’s using speed here because he’s also smart. Hercules gets in a shot to break up Paul’s momentum after he skins the cat. Paul did the skinning if that was unclear. A clothesline gets three twos.

We’re in Milwaukee if you care. The fans cheer for Paul but he can’t make much of a comeback. Off to the bearhug which is a power man staple of the late 80s. Actually the 80s in general. Bearhug is countered into a small package for Orndorff, getting two. Orndorff makes his comeback and hits the Piledriver (finisher) but Rude runs in for the DQ. This was Rude’s first feud as he had only been in the company about three months at this point.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but it didn’t have the time to get going. Orndorff was WAY over at this time though and Heenan and his boys were hated so the crowd was very into things here. Orndorff would be retired for the first time very soon after this due to a very bad arm/neck injury he suffered when feuding with Hogan the year before. When you’re making somewhere between $10,000-20,000 a week though, you don’t bother taking time off for arm surgery.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby Heenan

This is from 1984 and there’s no story to it. Heenan just used to be a wrestler on occasion. Heenan bails to the apron of course because he’s Bobby Heenan. Bellomo beats on Heenan like he stole something and flips him in the corner. Heenan takes a bunch of dropkicks, including one sending him into the post. Heenan needs a doctor. Back in and Bobby takes even more of a beating.

Bobby actually takes over with a rake to the eyes and a lot of basic stuff. Then again, what are you expecting from Bobby Heenan the Wrestler? They collide and Heenan looks dead. Bellomo drives in some headbutts but Heenan pokes him in the eyes. Out to the floor and Heenan pops him as he comes back in. A guillotine puts Sal on the floor for the third time. Bellomo tries a sunset flip but Heenan punches him in the face, drops on top of him, AND GETS A CLEAN PIN.

Rating: A+. Bobby Heenan got a clean pin. Do you realize what it means for your career when you get pinned clean in Madison Square Garden by BOBBY HEENAN??? The match sucked but totally awesome for surprise value. This is on Heenan’s DVD.

Tito Santana vs. Killer Khan

This is from Houston and I don’t know this announcer either. Khan is a guy that is the walking definition of the monster foreign heel. He had a big feud with Andre which we’ll get to on one of these tapes and a quick feud with Hogan. One of the announcers is named Paul Boesch who ran Houston Wrestling forever. Apparently the other is Pete Doherty. Khan takes over with power to start of course.

We hear about an upcoming card in about three weeks which sounds a lot better than this one. We also hear about Ted DiBiase, who is actually A GOOD GUY here. Tito gets him in the position for what we would call Shattered Dreams. Some kicks to the thighs result in Khan going to the floor and a fan making fun of him. Tito controls as this is a very bad monster heel.

Off to a hammerlock and Khan looks like he’s about to cry. Khan finally gets something like a spinebuster and a middle rope punch. Tito channels his inner Kirk and beats up the KHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, knocking him to the apron and choking with the bottom rope. A running knee hits Khan but Tito gets picked up and crotched on the top rope….for a DQ? Different time I guess.

Rating: D. Another weak match but Khan’s best days were already behind him at this point. Nothing to see here and Khan was a really weak opponent here. Hearing about the Angry Mongolian and Boesch’s pronunciation of Tee-Toe was fun though. Still, bad match to end a very boring tape with.

Overall Rating: F+. Other than the fun Heenan match (which is only fun for the ending) and the opener which was just ok at best, there’s a whole lot of awful on this one. Absolutely terrible tape as they couldn’t have made a worse selection of matches. Nothing but cheap finishes that would have had any house show crowd rolling their eyes. Bad tape and certainly not worth seeing.

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The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 70,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jimmy Valiant, Ernie Ladd

You read the attendance right. This was by far and away the biggest crowd in North American history until about 8 months later when they got almost 20,000 more into the stands. This was about one match: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff. This was actually a really big house show as it was before PPV really got going and therefore this was just what the title says: A Big Event.

As you know I know my old school but I can only think of one other match on the card: Roberts vs. Steamboat. This would have been Summerslam had Summerslam existed yet though as it was easily bigger than Mania 2 and wouldn’t be trumped until next year in the biggest event of all time. So with all that being said, let’s get to this.

The opening is Gene in a helicopter talking about how awesome Toronto is which is interspersed with clips of the show. The crowd is LOUD. This show is outside in case I forgot to mention that. I’ve heard between 65 and 74 thousand for the card but 70,000 is what I hear most. To put that into perspective, that’s more than Mania 6 or 17. This really does look freaking amazing.

Killer Bees vs. Hoss Funk/Jimmy Jack Funk

Hoss is more commonly known as Dory so we’ll go with that. Jimmy was a jobber and Dory was a former world champion. We get a wide shot and it just looks amazing. Dory and Brian Blair start us off. Jimmy does look a bit like Terry if nothing else. This has been all Bees so far.

Jimmy is wearing a mask for no apparent reason. Ernie Ladd never talks and it’s kind of annoying. The heels finally take over as I guess Dory just got bored out there. Ernie throws out this gem: he slammed him to the mat there with a move called a slam. That sums things up pretty well I’d say. The Bees put the masks on and cheat to get the win. There’s an echo on the mic which is cool for some reason.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener. It wasn’t a bad tag match at all and it got the crowd into things which is really all you can ask for in a match like this. It definitely could have used a minute or so off in the middle though.

King Tonga vs. Don Muraco

Both are heels here and Tonga is more commonly known as Haku/Meng. He looks weird in regular tights too. I think he’s supposed to be a face but he’s just not popular at all. He’s also referred to as both King Tonga and Haku. He works on the arm, like a lot. I mean he works on that thing like there’s no freaking tomorrow.

We’re at about 5 minutes of just arm work. Valiant and Ladd are rather annoying men. And now we hit a two minute nerve hold. I have a bad feeling I know where this is going to go. Good grief this is just boring. Nothing of note happens for the better part of ever and then we have a time limit draw at about seventeen of the twenty minutes. This was a waste of time.

Rating: D+. I hate matches like these. Draws are fine, but dang man this was just freaking boring. Haku using a high cross body was cool though. Either way, this just wasn’t interesting at all.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Garea is replacing Tony Atlas. I don’t know much about Garea but I suddenly want to laugh quite a bit. Arcidi is a big power guy and Garea is just generic as possible. The ropes keep making this weird sound when they hit them. Arcidi legitimately held the world bench press record for years. There must be a fight or something going on as a ton of fans are all looking to see something as the ropes are really getting annoying. Garea taps to a bear hug soon after this.

Rating: N/A. This was a total squash and wasn’t that interesting. He would be gone in a few months while Garea still works for the company behind the scenes today.

Jimmy Hart says he’ll get JYD tonight.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

It’s so cool to see the thousands of people and have a row cut out in there for the guys to come through. It looks completely awesome. Hart has a freaking feather duster for some reason. Adonis is rather gay in case you weren’t familiar with him. He’s also about 400lbs here.

About two years before this he was a big deal actually as a biker character. I love that Dog’s theme song is about grabbing a girl’s hips. Adonis is bleeding pretty badly already. Ok apparently not as I refuse to listen to Ernie Ladd anymore.

Jimmy sprays perfume or cologne or whatever in Dog’s face to break the momentum though and Adonis goes to work. Dog no sells two megaphone shots and they fight on the floor. The referee gets to about 8 and then we go into the ring and Adonis is thrown into Hart and falls BACK OUT OF THE RING after being completely in for the count out. I think they botched that one.

Rating: D+. This was a standard 80s match but I don’t get the ending at all. It wasn’t any good which I would blame on the wrestlers and JYD is an annoying waste of oxygen as it is so there we are. This was just filler.

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Dick Slater

Oh yeah Slater is the rebel. No one cares. Sharpe is up there with Horowitz and Brawler in the jobbing hall of fame. Mike likes to talk a lot. The announcers talk about how great Sharpe is. Really? From what I’ve read he was completely OCD so having this many people in the audience must have driven him insane.

There really isn’t much here as it’s really a glorified squash for Slater who would never mean a thing in wrestling, at least not in this company. He was ok in other companies but he’s at his best in ring stuff here, which isn’t saying much at all.

Monsoon wants to know why Sharpe has had his arm in a cast kind of thing for over 8 years and Valiant just starts screaming at him that he should go out to dinner with Sharpe and ask him because Valiant doesn’t know. That came out of nowhere. Anyway, Slater hits an elbow from the top and jackknifes (it’s a king of rollup, not the powerbomb) him for the win.

Rating: D. Did we really need six minutes of these two guys? I certainly wouldn’t think so. This wasn’t interesting or particularly good but a jobber got beat up so there we are.

I think we had an intermission here.

Heenan is with Gene and he’s in a 6 man here. He says he’ll unmask the Machines tonight. He gets in a great line with “We have 70,000 people here because Heenan is wrestling and wrestling is Heenan.” He also manages to get the entire crowd chanting weasel.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Lou Albano vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah yes the Machines. Now this was the epitome of a comedy angle that took off for a little while. The idea was that Andre the Giant was suspended for (kayfabe) not showing up for a match. Soon thereafter two new masked guys from Japan appeared: Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (duh).

Over the Summer they feuded with Heenan, Studd and Bundy with guest appearances by Piper Machine, Animal Machine and Hulk Machine. It was total tongue in cheek, kind of like Mr. America with Hogan. They were eventually joined by Big Machine who was Blackjack Mulligan when Andre could barely move.

Andre was kind of the manager and only wrestled occasionally. The angle ended about two months after this to set up Mania 3. Anyway let’s get to this. We get a shot from the broadcast booth and the ring is TINY. Studd and Super Machine start us out. The Machines’ strength is freaking impressive.

Ax is by far and away the smallest one. What does that tell you? Gorilla says he’s been over 500 pounds before but at Mania 4 said the biggest he ever wrestled at was 440. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t trust Gorilla Monsoon! Ok I’m back now I think.

With Big Machine down Heenan comes in and goes for the mask. Super Machine is like screw that and drills him. Bundy was just a big fat waste of oxygen. You can tell he was just thrown into Mania. Look where he was just 4 months later. Heenan comes in again and Albano comes in also.

Super Mario kicks his teeth in for a bit but a thumb in the eye and the heels beat up Albano. Andre has had enough and just comes in there and starts cleaning house which causes the DQ. He was just freaking terrifying when he got mad. Ax being the smallest guy by far is a freaky sight.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match so that’s fine. The Machines were just a fun team so this worked fine. Andre was fun as anyone when he could move and this was no exception. It was nothing serious and it wasn’t supposed to be.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Snakepit Match meaning anything goes. Roberts had DDTed Steamboat on the floor at a SNME and nearly killed him to ignite this feud which was the second biggest of the summer. Dragon had busted out a Komodo Dragon to counter Damien but neither are here tonight due to customs issues. The two commentators that talk say that the Canadian flag has an oak leaf on it.

Dragon dominates until we hit the floor where Jake takes over after a low blow. Steamboat gets a few chair shots in and that just was weird to type. Dragon just beats the heck out of him for awhile but gets reversed and goes over the top to the floor. Valiant thinks Roberts is a champion for some reason. Roberts is one of those guys that was supposed to be a heel but more or less became a face through just pure fan support.

Dragon starts bleeding after going into the post but fights out of the DDT. Jake is dominating now and getting face pops for it. And then he sits on Dragon’s chest and holds his arm up and you know the rest. They would have another match in a few weeks on SNME with the animals that I reviewed last night to close out the feud.

Rating: B. This was a very intense match. Street fights and the like simply didn’t happen in this era so this was insane at the time. Both guys were great workers so this worked out very well. Steamboat was about to have his throat messed up by Savage and you know the aftermath of that.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

As you may know this one happened at Mania 3 as well. Gorilla is on his own for this one which is likely the best case scenario. Hercules has the insane hair here, looking like Mike Knox but not as tall and we’re told that since this has happened Slick has taken over for Blassie’s contracts.

What that has to do with this match is beyond me as neither guy ever managed either of them that I remember. Heenan had Hercules by Mania. What a nice break it is to just have Monsoon talking as he is just so easy to listen to. Apparently Hercules is managed by Slick.

OH YEAH I remember Heenan buying him now. Slick owned him for like a cup of coffee I guess. There’s no heat at all for this match as the fans are just dead. To be fair though this is like the 8th match so far. Also based on what everyone has said it’s really cold in the stadium. Haynes gets a backslide to get a quick pin.

Rating: C-. The lack of heat just killed this and I can’t blame them. No one cared at all and it just wasn’t that interesting. Both guys would mean very little until Hercules got a mini push in the following year or two. Boring match though.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Valentine and Beefcake who Valiant usually manages. The Rougeaus are wearing red for some reason. Oh great and Valentine is too. We get an abdominal stretch and naturally Monsoon complains. The Rougeaus are one of those teams that just flows so well that it’s amazing to say the least. They’re also great high fliers that can just show off, kind of like the Hardys or something like that. Good night there are a lot of people there.

This is your standard 80s tag match which means that it’s pretty good. Beefcake just sucked back I the day though and this is no exception. He would be replaced by Bravo at Mania 3. After a very long and drawn out match which thankfully got enough time, we hit the brawl and Valentine has the figure four. In a SWEET ending, the illegal Rougeau gets a sunset flip on him as he bends over to put the hold back on for the pin. I love that.

Rating: B-. This was another fun and good match that did its job well. It’s the second longest match of the night after the draw from earlier and it’s one of the better ones on the card. It was solid but the really needed to get Bravo out there ASAP. Valiant is ticked off over that ending.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

They’re both old and they’re both fat. They’re also rather slow and it’s not interesting at all anymore. The main event is next so this is likely Hogan’s effort to make people forget the previous good match so that he looks good next. He did it to the whole company in about 8 years with WCW. The referees have more or less sucked all night as they never count fast enough. Race gets a double leg trip and uses the ropes for the easy pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just a filler to put some space between the two matches that were good and nothing more.

Hogan says he’ll win.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

This is the hottest feud in the world as Orndorff had turned face to help Hogan with Piper and Orton but Hogan had more or less been a jerk (I don’t know about you but I’m STUNNED over that) to him and wouldn’t answer the phone when he was working out. Heenan then poked Orndorff into believing that Hogan didn’t ever care about him but that Heenan always would.

Orndorff, wanting to be accepted and not used, turned to the dark side and beat up Hogan at a big show to set up this which launched the hottest feud in perhaps ever at this point. This was the only reason that this whole show happened on such a huge stage, much like Hogan vs. Andre. The only difference here is that there wasn’t a Savage vs. Steamboat to balance it out. Also, Mania would have nearly 20,000 more people, or another Madison Square Garden on top of this. That’s just completely ridiculous.

They start off with just a big freaking brawl and the fans are WAY into this. This is more or less all punching and chasing until Heenan makes the stop and the heel takes over. Orndorff was a different kind of heel as instead of this big fat slob, he was small and athletic which was something new for Hogan. Also there were a lot of people that were siding with Orndorff as Hogan had really just been a massive jerk to him.

Ladd really likes kissing up to Hogan. He’s getting into Vince territory, but then again Hogan has muscles and Vince is way too obsessed with musclemen. GOOD NIGHT that referee is slow. Paul dominates until Hogan starts to Hulk Up. He uses a jumping knee to the back of Orndorff and the referee is crushed. Hogan imitates Orndorff with the arm in the air for the clothesline which is how Orndorff turned on him.

He goes for Orndorff’s piledriver but Heenan runs in with a wooden stool to blast Hogan in the head. Why he had that is beyond me. For no apparent reason the referee wakes up and taps Orndorff to say that Hogan wins by DQ. Hogan wakes up and kicks his face in for no apparent reason other than being a jerk. We get a replay with no commentary for no apparent reason before posing and credits take us out.

Rating: B-. This was all about the atmosphere and not about the match itself. Even still this was fine as both guys were over beyond belief in their respective roles and this was indeed a huge match. Hogan going over unclean was smart as it gave Orndorff a reason for a rematch which was required so all was fine here. I’m not sure I get why Paul was disqualified but it was Hogan’s world so there we are.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s definitely recommended though. This was a lot like Mania 3 where the main event was the only selling point to this but that’s all it needed. 70,000 people was just completely unheard of back then so this was light years ahead of anything ever seen before and still ranks right up there for all time crowds.

The main event is awesome for feeling if nothing else and while the rest of the card sucks, the crowd gives it the atmosphere that makes it worth seeing. Think of this as a rehearsal for Wrestlemania before you watch it, which you should as it’s a fun show if you’re an old school fan.