Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 2010: How To Book A Rumble Return

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 16,697
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

We’re getting close to the end of the run here with only three shows left. Tonight we’ve got the Rumble of course along with Undertaker defending against Mysterio and Sheamus defending against Orton. I remember really liking this one as the new generation had arrived and was rising up the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the Road to Wrestlemania is beginning and how it determines what happens for months to come. This is called the most star studded Rumble ever, which is a tagline that has been used before.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Christian is defending and man that ECW ring announcer has an annoying voice. Regal is with Jackson here. According to Striker, Jackson went to Columbia Law School. Now there’s a factoid that fell through the cracks. Jackson shoves Christian into the corner and then does it again into the ropes so the champion slaps him in the face. After a brief chase, Christian dropkicks Jackson out to the floor.

The springboard plancha takes Jackson out and we head back in. Christian finally gets caught in the corner and pounded on before having the Killswitch easily blocked. Instead Christian chokes away on the ropes and hits another shot to the face. Jackson throws Christian to the floor where Regal tries to throw him back in, earning himself an ejection. Off to a neck crank back inside which Jackson picks up into a kind of cobra clutch slam for two.

A vertical suplex gets two for Big Zeke and it’s time for more choking. A sunset flip is easily blocked by Jackson and it’s back to the chinlock. Striker tries to figure out what a peep is, as he knows it as a something made of chocolate. Some shots to the face get Christian out of trouble for awhile, or at least until a clothesline to the back of the head gets two.

Jackson hooks both of Christian’s arms back for another hold before putting the champion on top. The superplex is blocked and Christian hits a top rope back elbow for two (LOVE that move). Jackson’s big clothesline misses and a middle rope dropkick gets two for the champion. A spinwheel kick gets two on Jackson but a swan dive misses and gives Zeke a near fall as does a backbreaker.

The tornado DDT gets ANOTHER two for Christian so Jackson takes his head off with a clothesline. Off to a sleeper from Christian when the Killswitch doesn’t work but Jackson counters into a powerslam position to ram Christian’s back into the buckle. Christian slides down Jackson’s back and grabs the Killswitch out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. Trim two minutes out of this and it goes WAY up in quality. The period of near falls went on too long without getting any significant heat from the crowd. Jackson would get the title in a little over two weeks on the final episode of ECW because if there’s one man that should be the final ECW Champion, it’s a musclehead that could barely get through a five minute match most of the time.

Cryme Tyme come in to try to get a second spot in the Rumble from Teddy and Tiffany. Khali says “no dice homeslice” to selling their spot because he’s keeping it real. Apparently he’s learned his English from Family Matters (Singh’s words, not mine). Ok then. Anyway US Champion the Miz comes in and laughs which causes him to have to defend against MVP.

Orton is in the back when Cody Rhodes comes in. He’s there for Randy in the title match tonight but that’s not all. Apparently DiBiase isn’t in on this because his mind is on winning the Rumble and taking the title from Orton.

US Title: The Miz vs. MVP

A quick clothesline gets two for MVP and he works on the champ’s ribs to start. Miz gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down but MVP comes right back with a belly to back suplex for two. They head to the floor for this gem from Striker: “Miz is one of the most recognizable faces on this planet.” I don’t think Miz is one of the most recognizable faces in this match.

Back in and Miz sends MVP to the apron and gets kicked into the table on the floor. Not that this is treated like anything of note because the announcers are laughing about Sherri Shepard from The View. Miz sends shoulders into MVP’s ribs in the corner followed by the running corner clothesline. A top rope double ax gets two for Miz and we hit the chinlock.

After that eats up some time, MVP pounds away with all of his usual stuff. Ballin hits and a running boot to the side of the head gets two for the challenger. A big shoulder block gets the same for MVP but he misses a running boot in the corner. MVP grabs three straight quick near falls but gets caught in a small package for the pin to keep the title on Miz.

Rating: D+. If there was a reason for this to be on PPV other than the show was running short, I don’t know what it was. Miz didn’t look like anything special out there but somehow he would be world champion a year later. MVP on the other hand would be out of the WWE but he did well enough in Japan. Nothing to see here other than a filler match.

Post match MVP hits the Playmaker on Miz and gets booed LOUDLY. He lost completely clean so the booing is deserved.

Show and Jericho, the former tag team champions, run into each other. Show accuses him of being jealous of the chemistry Show and Miz have but Jericho brushes it off. He calls the crowd gelatinous worms before pointing out all of the similarities he and Miz have. Show says he’ll throw both Miz and Jericho out to win the Rumble. R-Truth pops up and says he’ll do the same. Show leaves Jericho standing there much to Jericho’s chagrin.

DiBiase wishes Orton luck and says he’s got Randy’s back. Orton asks where Cody is but DiBiase doesn’t know. This was during the time when Legacy was about to die and both members were trying to get on Randy’s best side. DiBiase claims that Rhodes only wants to win the Rumble but Orton has heard enough. He doesn’t want anyone’s help and gets a clear face pop in response.

The National Guard is here.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Sheamus won the title in a shocker last month at TLC and is heel here. He’s also still not that good and wouldn’t really hit his stride for about a year and a half. They stare at each other to start and my goodness is Sheamus pale. A dropkick puts the champion down but he comes right back with a running ax handle. Sheamus gets in a shot to the arm and we head to the floor where said arm is sent into the steps.

Back in and Orton goes for the knee and things slow down a bit. Orton wouldn’t really pick up the pace of his offense until about the following year which made his matches pretty hard to sit through. Sheamus comes back by sending Orton’s shoulder into the post twice and hitting some shoulder blocks in the corner. That gets him nowhere though as Orton takes out the knee again and knocks Sheamus to the floor.

They head inside again and yet AGAIN momentum shifts back to Sheamus as he hits a DDT on the arm for two. Off to an armbar for a bit before they slug it out to the boo/yay chants. Orton wins the slugout but walks into the Irish Curse for two. The High Cross is escaped and Orton kicks Sheamus in the head to send him to the outside. Orton gets ready for the RKO but Rhodes jumps the guardrail and blasts Sheamus in the back before running away. The referee sees it though and despite Orton hitting the RKO, he’s disqualified and Sheamus keeps the title. Lame ending to a pretty lame match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, Sheamus just wasn’t very good yet. He was still this big imposing brawler who pounded on people and that’s about it. There was indeed a story in the match but it wasn’t a very entertaining one as they just kept beating on each other’s limbs but when there’s no difference because of the beating, the story doesn’t work. The ending didn’t help either but it did set up something in the future.

Post match Orton snaps on Cody as DiBiase comes down to save his partner. While Orton yells at Cody in the corner, Sheamus comes back in and lays out Randy with a Brogue Kick.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool. This was an awkward feud as Mickie won the title shot in a triple threat and then Laycool made fun of Mickie for being fat. This is of course odd as Mickie is a professional athlete and gorgeous and would only be called fat by a crazy person. It’s also pretty disturbing when you consider how WWE pushes the Divas as role models. The final bit of it was a segment where Mickie got beaten down and covered in food.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

Post match the other Divas bring out a cake and smash it into Laycool’s faces.

We recap Mysterio vs. Undertaker. Rey won the shot by slamming a cage door onto Batista’s head to escape because that’s what heroes do. Taker said he’ll show no mercy on Mysterio so Rey uses the same line everyone does on Taker: he isn’t afraid. Batista beat up Mysterio as well, claiming that Undertaker and the world title was his.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker

Mysterio, in the deep south, comes out wearing a white hood. Striker talks about Lawler being in the ring with Kamala and Lord Humongous (Sid) because he thinks it makes him sound interesting. He’s trying to make a comparison to being in the ring with Undertaker, but if he was as smart as he thinks he is, he would ask Jerry what it’s like to be in the ring with Undertaker himself, which would save a lot of headaches.

Rey fires off some shots in the corner before Taker grabs him by the neck and throws him up and over the top and out to the floor. That looked awesome. Back to the apron and Rey fires off strikes to the face, only to get punched right back down to the floor by a single shot. Taker misses the legdrop on the apron but hits it the second time before heading back in. Rey counters a chokeslam into the 619 but Taker easily grabs the legs. Tombstone is countered and Taker misses an elbow drop.

Rey tries a springboard cross body but jumps into a boot to the chest. We head to the floor again and there’s another big boot to the head to take Rey down. A third big boot keeps Rey down but the fourth misses and Taker sends his leg around the post. Rey hits a baseball slide to send the leg into said post and Taker is in trouble. The seated senton off the apron is caught and Taker puts him back on the apron, only to be caught by an Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Taker grabs Rey by the throat and slams him into the barricade. The champion’s nose is busted a bit. Taker does that lifting wristlock of his to crank on the arm a bit before punching Rey down in the corner for a bit. A big side slam gets two for the guy who would use a side slam in this match as Striker goes into this big speech about how the blood shows that undertaker is mortal. Seriously, it’s a BLOODY NOSE. Watch the freaking Lesnar match in the Cell when the blood is literally dripping from Taker’s head and down onto Lesnar’s body.

Rey starts firing off some punches but a single shot from Taker is enough to put him back down. A jawbreaker finally staggers the big man and they do a kind of cross body, although Taker counters into something like Langston’s Big Ending, so it’s hard to say which hurt worse. Taker sits up so Rey kicks him in the face. Why has no one done that before? Rey drops the dime (springboard legdrop) for two but Taker kills him with a big clothesline. The Last Ride is countered and the 619 hits as does a second one, but the West Coast Pop is countered into the Last Ride to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff for the most part for a few reasons. First of all, they didn’t make Taker look ridiculous to get into position for Rey’s moves. That’s my biggest issue with most of Rey’s battles against giants: how stupid the big men look. The other good thing here is that Taker wasn’t knocked silly after just a few moves. Rey only hit maybe a dozen offensive moves here other than basic strikes and it wouldn’t have made sense to have Taker in major trouble. Finally, Rey can bump like crazy when he’s trying to. The only issues here are the lack of a threat to Taker and Striker’s commentary. Chill out already man.

Shawn is watching in the back when Kane comes in and says Shawn’s obsession with Taker is unhealthy. This is KANE calling something unhealthy. He warns Shawn to cool it with Taker because it won’t end well. Kane leaves and HHH comes in. Shawn apologizes for whatever happened on Raw which apparently isn’t important enough to specify. HHH agrees Shawn vs. Taker is meant to be, but it won’t be by wining the Rumble.

Rumble by the Numbers time:

23 Winners

627 entrants eliminated

36 eliminations by Austin

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

2002 was the last Rumble in Atlanta

62:12 Rey was in the Rumble in 2006

2 seconds was the record for 20 years until Santino broke it last year

3 wins for Austin

2 win for #1, the same as #30

70% of the winners win at Mania

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is #1 and Evan Bourne is #2. Bourne snaps off a headscissors to start and follows up with a spinwheel kick to take Dolph down. Ziggler comes back with the Zig Zag but can’t throw Evan out. Bourne decks Ziggler and hits Air Bourne as CM Punk of the Straightedge Society is #3. He slams the other two guys’ heads together and dumps them out one after the other. Punk gets a mic and says that tonight is the greatest night in the history of the Straightedge Society. These two are just the first of 29 men who will challenge him, but they can be saved.

The clock starts running down, so Punk gives us the line of the night: “Excuse me, it’s clobberin time.” JTG is #4 and after a few clotheslines, he poses like an idiot in the corner and gets dumped. Punk gets the mic again and says that not everyone can be saved because they don’t have his dedication. Great Khali is #5 and Punk immediately says he can make Khali greater by saving him. He asks Khali to raise his hand for the Straightedge Pledge but Khali lowers the hand onto Punk’s head for the chop.

There’s the Khali Vice and in less than 90 seconds, Beth Phoenix of all people is #6. She stares down Khali and gets picked up and placed on the apron. Beth kisses Khali but in the process pulls him over the top to eliminate him. Phoenix gets back in and BEATS UP PUNK, only to get caught in a GTS to the chest. Would that really knock her out? Before she’s dumped out, here’s Zack Ryder at #7.

As Ryder gets in, Punk grabs the mic and says Zack has potential. PREACH IT BROTHER! Punk starts offering him a spot but his Ryder with the mic before he gets done with it. The fans are going nuts for Punk now and there goes Ryder. Punk talks about how great he is and wants to know who is next, but whoever it is, they’re inferior to Punk. In at #8 is HHH as we enter the second segment of the Rumble.

They stare each other down and HHH starts punching. The facebuster has Punk staggered and a spinebuster puts him down as Drew McIntyre is #9. That gives us a tag champion in HHH and the IC Champion in Drew at the moment. HHH is looking a bit flabby here. He hits the high knee on McIntyre and escapes the GTS to eliminate Punk. DiBiase is #10 as we’re flying through this.

HHH gets double teamed down in the corner until John Morrison, the guy that lost the title to McIntyre, is #11. He takes both heels down and pounds away on them before hitting a jumping DDT on Drew. Starship Pain almost completely misses Drew and HHH clotheslines John down. Kane is #12 and comes in with the top rope clothesline to HHH. There’s a double chokeslam to McIntyre and Morrison before Kane tries to dump DiBiase.

Rhodes is #13 and saves Ted as he comes in. Morrison is sent to the apron and springboards back in, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Legacy goes after Kane but HHH saves him for no apparent reason. Cody saves himself from being eliminated and MVP is #14. Miz runs up behind him though and blasts MVP with the US Title. Morrison hits the Moonlight Drive on McIntyre to break up the Future Shock on Kane. HHH is in trouble in the corner and MVP is carried to the back.

Carlito is #15 and the ring is starting to get full. There’s a Backstabber to HHH and one for Drew and Ted as well. Miz is #16 and hits a quick Finale on Carlito. Cue MVP to clothesline Miz out and eliminate himself in the process. Matt Hardy is #17 and lasts about 20 seconds before Kane puts him out. HHH immediately dumps Kane too and the ring is a lot more empty all of a sudden.

HHH starts laying out everyone and Shawn is #18. Carlito is backdropped out, Rhodes and DiBiase are tossed, Morrison gets dumped, and DX puts out McIntyre to get us down to DX. Before anything can happen though, Cena is #19 to get us to the final third of the match. Cena cleans house and hits a double Shuffle before getting caught in the Pedigree. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks HHH out to pop the crowd BIG.

Shelton Benjamin in that stupid gold period is #20. He hits Paydirt on both guys but gets dumped by Cena in less than 50 seconds. Yoshi Tatsu is #21 and doesn’t even make it 30 seconds. Big Show is #22 and Cena is shaken. Big Show RUNS down to the ring and house is cleaned. Shawn and Cena try to eliminate each other but Show pulls Shawn back in for some reason. What’s up with that tonight?

Mark Henry is #23 and we get a quick battle of the giant. Who would think those two would have a world title feud a year and a half later and be REALLY popular? Henry slams Show and falls on Cena as he tries an AA. Show spears Henry down and Chris Masters is #24. Masters tries the Masterlock on Show and gets dumped for his efforts. Now Henry goes after Show but Shawn breaks it up for some reason. R-Truth is #25 and actually dumps BOTH big guys. There’s something you wouldn’t expect.

Truth hits a Stroke on Cena and Jack Swagger is #26. All three guys get Vader Bombs and Swagger goes old school with a very slow Oklahoma Stampede. Jack knocks Michaels to the apron but can’t get the elimination. Kingston is #27 and cleans house on Swagger, hitting the Boom Drop and dumping him out with a nice leverage move. Truth puts Kofi on the apron but gets pulled out by a reverse headscissors.

Jericho is #28 but after cleaning about half the house, Cena grabs an AA to put him down. Shawn adds the top rope elbow and tunes up the band but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to take him out. Cena dumps Kofi but walks into a Codebreaker. Everyone is down and EDGE makes his big return at #29. That’s rather brilliant instead of waiting for the big surprise at #30, we get a SWERVE that actually makes sense.

Everyone gets a spear and Jericho is out. Edge is back about six months early and it’s Edge-O-Matics all around. Batista is #30, giving us a final four of Shawn, Cena, Edge and Batista. Not bad at all. It’s power all around but Edge spears him down. Everyone is down now Shawn gets up first and hits the forearm on Cena followed by the nipup.

Shawn slams every American in sight and drops the top rope elbow on Cena. Batista takes one too as Edge is still down in the corner. Sweet Chin Music hits Cena and there’s one for Batista as well. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and Michaels superkicks Edge back in, only to get knocked out by Batista. The crowd gasps HUGE at that and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn gets back in and superkicks the referee to vent some frustration. Shawn FINALLY leaves and Cena escapes the Batista Bomb before dumping Batista out. Edge misses the spear but throws out Cena a second later to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is kind of a hard one to grade. They definitely followed the three act structure which helped a lot and the match was VERY fast paced. I mean, the longest anyone was in there was Cena and he barely broke 20 minutes. The problem with that is it doesn’t give anything time to develop. The main story was Shawn which is fine and he would get to Mania at the end of the day anyway. It’s a really fun Rumble but not one of the best ever.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is very solid and the rest has nothing terrible so we’ll call it a good show overall. Things would get a lot more interesting soon after this with the rise of the Nexus and a very solid Wrestlemania. This was also a time of transition for the company as a lot of the guys in this show would be gone by the end of the year. Anyway good show here and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Miz vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

Dang I liked Sheamus a lot more than I thought I did.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/29/royal-rumble-count-up-2010-one-of-the-best-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Royal Rumble Count-Up: 2013 Redo – 2009: HHH and Orton. Again.

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Thought of the Day: The World Heavyweight Championship Dartboard

This contains a spoiler for this week’s Smackdown and next week’s Raw.At the moment, the WHC picture is a mess with no sign of any structure or semblance of a story.  Del Rio lost clean to Orton last week, beat Sheamus this week, and is going to beat Van Dam and lose to Christian on the next two TV shows.  So far these matches are totally random and seem to have no build to anything.  Odds are we’ll get a multi man match for the title at Summerslam, but with the matches just happening with no consequences, it makes the title look worthless.  Del Rio is just thrown out there and loses most of the time, but we’re supposed to still care about his title defenses.

 

Short version: quit having your champion wrestle random matches and lose most of them.




Smackdown – July 19, 2013: Deja Vu All Over Again

Smackdown
Date: July 19, 2013
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

With Money in the Bank passed we’re now in the period of waiting for Sandow to cash in. After Monday night we have some of the main events set for Summerslam which means we need some blue matches to balance it out. Also Ziggler is officially a face after breaking up with AJ and being destroyed by Langston. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence again, which I think is the norm now.

Here’s Teddy Long to get things going. Tonight there’s going to be a new general manager named and Teddy wants to throw his name in the hat. He doesn’t know how good he’d be but he’ll be better than Vickie Guerrero. Vince will be here in person tonight to give Teddy a job evaluation. Teddy polls the crowd who seems to like the idea of Long being the boss long term.

This brings out the returning Booker T to thank Teddy for filling in while Booker was out getting triceps surgery. Booker is back to be the GM now but here’s Vince with something to say on the subject. Vince asks Teddy what match he would make to impress the fans so Teddy suggests Axel vs. Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Booker’s offer is Del Rio vs. Orton, which brings out Raw GM Brad Maddox. He thinks he should be GM of both shows because he was going to suggest both matches as well as the Smackdown return of RVD.

Vince’s pick for the permanent Smackdown GM: Vickie freaking Guerrero. Well of course she is, because if there’s one thing WWE needs it’s ANOTHER heel boss character. She blames the fans for getting her fired from Raw so she hates us all. Vickie goes into crazy mode, yelling about how she runs this show and is going to take everything out on the fans. You know, because we haven’t done this same idea for the last year or so on Raw.

Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip from Raw of Ziggler breaking up with AJ and then having her cost him a match against Del Rio. A rollup sends Swagger to the floor as AJ and Langston are watching in the back. Back in and Dolph pounds away in the corner and takes Jack down with a dropkick. Cesaro trips Dolph off the apron and hits an uppercut, earning him an ejection along with Colter. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Dolph but he has to escape the Patriot Lock. The Zig Zag is good for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Ziggler was fine here and the fans loved him which is the right idea. It’s a lot easier to get behind a feud with Langston instead of Del Rio as the matches and promos will actually be entertaining. This is a big upgrade for Dolph as he can go after the title later on and get some character development against Big E.

Post match Ziggler says he’s sorry he dumped AJ on Monday because he should have done it a lot sooner. That’s the kind of stuff he’s been needing to say to help cement his face turn.

AJ freaks out in the back and throws a lot of chairs. Langston grabs her to calm her down and they look at each other but he kisses her on the forehead.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Usos

Non-title. The Usos charge the ring and the fight is on before the bell. Ambrose comes in as well until Mark Henry comes out to clear the ring. The good guys stand tall and Henry is a face.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

The place goes NUTS for Bryan. Barrett catches a cross body and puts Bryan stomach first on the top rope for some forearms to the back. A slingshot into a backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow submission. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner and backflips over Barrett, only to be caught in the Winds of Change which are countered into a crucifix into the YES Lock for the submission at 1:54.

Maddox runs into Vickie in the back and Vickie slaps him in the face for taking her job.

Time for MizTV with guest Paul Heyman. Heyman says he doesn’t want to answer any of Miz’s questions but is cut off by a CM Punk chant. The fans don’t realize how hard this is for Heyman because he still loves Punk. He advises Punk to stay down and leave the WWE Universe behind because if he comes back Brock Lesnar will take his head off. Miz doesn’t believe a thing Heyman is saying because he swore on the life of his children and still lied. He walks out but Heyman introduces Axel as the man who beat Miz at MITB.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Axel takes over with a headlock to start but Jericho dropkicks him down. A top rope elbow to the jaw gets two for Jericho but Axel punches him back down. Axel cranks on an armbar but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Jericho tries to jump over the champion in the corner but gets clotheslined in the back of the head for two instead. The Codebreaker is countered into a spinebuster for two but Jericho sends him into the corner as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but going shoulder first into the post to stop his comeback. Axel misses a middle rope elbow and Jericho gets two off a quick enziguri to make Heyman even more nervous. Axel comes back with the McGillicutter for two but misses a dropkick, allowing the Lionsault to get two. Axel blocks the top rope ax handle into a PerfectPlex but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt.

Heyman distracts Jericho into dropping the hold but the second attempt has Axel in a lot of trouble. Curtis hangs on for a very long time and finally crawls over to the ropes. He goes to the floor but gets caught by a suicide dive from the Canadian. As they head back in though Heyman shouts at Jericho, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker/cutter for the pin at 9:15 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C. This was a decent back and forth match but Jericho going after the Intercontinental Title is hard to get into anymore. Axel still isn’t where they want him to be but he’s not a total disaster either. This was a fine enough way to kill fifteen minutes and the fans got into the Walls so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match Ryback comes out and destroys Jericho with a Shell Shock. This is Jericho’s last appearance for awhile as he’s going to be on tour with Fozzy.

Here’s Damien Sandow to talk about forgiveness with quotes from Gandhi. He did NOT screw Cody in the Money in the Bank match, which makes him wonder why Cody attacked him on Raw. We get a clip from Raw but Sandow says he isn’t going to hold this against Cody. That would make him a mouth breathing knuckle dragging halfwit like the audience. He invites Cody out here to talk through this because they’re still best friends.

Cody gets in the ring but Sandow says there’s no explanation required because he’s forgiven. Damien did prevent Cody from being Mr. Money in the Bank but Sandow has an olive branch for him: Cody can be the keeper of the case until Sandow is ready to cash it in. Cody has earned this but he hits Sandow in the head with the case, sending Damien running off. Rhodes throws the case at him and the fans seem quite pleased.

Rob Van Dam vs. Darren Young

Darren takes him down with an armdrag worth millions of dollars. Van Dam hits his step over kick and a standing moonsault for two, sending Young out to the floor. Back in and Titus distracts RVD’s Rolling Thunder attempt, allowing Young to take over for a bit. Van Dam comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard spinning cross body for two. A springboard kick to the face puts Young down and after kicking Titus to the floor, Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but Van Dam getting another win makes sense. Also it’s nice to see people like the Players being used to put over bigger stars. A loss to a former world champion doesn’t hurt their credibility at all so why not do it more often? I still don’t see the appeal of Young but Titus at least has charisma.

The Raw ReBound focuses about the Wyatt Family.

Vickie offers to bury the hatchet with Teddy but she’s just kidding and has Teddy escorted out by security.

Big Show returns on Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Orton rains down punches in the corner to start but Del Rio counters into the armbreaker over the ropes. He stomps away on Orton and chokes on the ropes for a few seconds. Orton bails to the floor to hold his arm but he drops Del Rio ribs first onto the barricade. Alberto whips him into the steps but Orton dropkicks Del Rio out of the air back inside. He loads up the powerslam but Del Rio holds the ropes to send Orton to the mat.

The armbreaker doesn’t go on full as Orton is in the ropes and Del Rio is getting frustrated. A backbreaker gets two on the champion but the Elevated DDT is countered by an enziguru for two. Del Rio kicks him in the shoulder and loads up an RKO of his own, only to be countered into the powerslam for two. The Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into a Backstabber for two. Not that it matters as Orton rolls out of the armbreaker, ducks the superkick and hits the RKO for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C. Del Rio is officially a jobber to the stars. There was almost no chance he was going to beat Orton here and he lost clean to the RKO after two straight wins where he escaped through interference. The match was ok but nothing more than that as the ending was barely in doubt at all. Both guys were their usual selves here and didn’t seem all that interested in trying.

Overall Rating: D+. The show was just there this week with some ok matches but nothing we haven’t seen before. This is the kind of show that made Smackdown very boring for a long time and I really hope that doesn’t become the standard again. Vickie being GM again made me roll my eyes as this is her fourth stint as full time boss of a show. That sums up this episode: we’ve seen all this before.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Jack Swagger – Zig Zag

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Curtis Axel b. Chris Jericho – Neckbreaker into a cutter

Rob Van Dam b. Darren Young – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: July 17, 2011 – Money in the Bank 2011: Cena and Punk’s Masterpiece

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches. The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways. It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

 

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things. I’m really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesn’t break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing. He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end. The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot. I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened. GREAT match though.

Vince is here. Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

 

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now. It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.

 

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure. The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time. Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really. It served its purpose though I guess.

 

Summerslam ad. It’s in the summer you know. Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show. They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people. Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

 

Henry is in blue here. They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down. Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up. Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control. Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in. Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two. Half crab goes on which makes sense for once. Henry? Psychology? What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking? Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool. Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such. Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three. Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up. World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two. Dang I would have thought that was the ending. Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it. They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short. That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall. Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb. Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed. He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract. Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring. Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction. Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily. Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at. Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time. Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart. He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up. Now they team up and take out some heels. Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out. Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing. Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot. Truth dives over to take out all three of them. Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out. Bourne goes up and everyone gasps. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!! Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save. Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz. Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it. I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL. This might be legit actually. Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee. I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it. Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne. The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels. That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder. Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails. Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs. He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first. Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth. Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot. Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger. Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again. Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own. Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it. All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too. Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still. Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off. He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop. They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat. HERE’S MIZ! He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio. Never mind as he’s coming back up again. Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it. REY’S MASK IS OFF! Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face. Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified. Alberto is all alone and it’s over. Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one. The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit. Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish. Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all. Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

 

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair. If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

 

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased. Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

 

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff. I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before. Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is. Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot. Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot. Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot. This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too. If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

 

And here we go. Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy. He even has a new shirt. The crowd is rabid for Punk. He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd. HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena. I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins. OH MAN that heat is ONS levels. Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance. Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer. Here we go. I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal. TON of time for this too. Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up. We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare. They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock. Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him. Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar. They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be. Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely. There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here. Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in. Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit. There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down. We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE. Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight. Punk goes for the knee and takes over again. Cena fires back with the bulldog for two. Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no. I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match. Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth. Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two. Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two. All Punk at this point. Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two. AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two. Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again. It seems like they’re saving energy. They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor. Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead. The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up. The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron. That gets two back in the ring. Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two. Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring. There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body. Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit. Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in. Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment. Oh wait yes he is. That was more or less an FU off the apron. Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now. He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s. Elbow drop gets two. Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes. The knee looks fine. It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch. HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY! Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence. The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head. Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again. Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment. Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes. AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason. GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two. Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog. Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this. The replay shows how sweet those knees were. Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble! Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two. Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again! Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again. Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right. It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice. SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO. This is getting awesome as they used the slow build. I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn. Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two. Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep. He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two. These kickouts are incredible. They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference. Cena is getting his 19th wind and looks like he wants the AA. It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape. Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death. The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position. And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace. The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell. Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way. Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way. He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic. Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety. Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be. Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent. Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music. He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in. Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down. Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him. The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible. From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all. Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there. Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed. Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype. Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show. Loved it.

 

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




Money in the Bank 2013: Can I Get My Money Back?

Money in the Bank 2013
Date: July 14, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the funnest shows of the year more often than not so I have high hopes for tonight. The main events are of course the two ladder matches along with Henry challenging Cena for the Raw Title. This is one of those shows where you can just turn your brain off and enjoy some wild action so hopefully things are as fun as they have the potential to be. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: Usos vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Shield is defending. Rollins starts with Jey with the Uso quickly getting two off a backslide. Off to Reigns who gets chopped down and caught with a double suplex for two. The fans are already chanting for RVD. A double spinebuster gets two for Jey as this is one sided so far. Seth pulls Roman out of the way of a superkick as we take a break during the pre-show. Back with the Usos still in control but Rollins avoids a charge and brings in Reigns to take over.

A clothesline sends Jey off the apron and out to the floor as Shield starts making fast tags. Rollins kicks Jey in the back for two and puts on a chinlock. Jey keeps fighting back but can’t make the hot tag. Seth is sent to the floor and Reigns is kicked away but Rollins dives to break up the hot tag. Jey is knocked tot he floor for a hard clothesline from Reigns. We take ANOTHER break and come back with Jimmy diving over the top to take out the Shield. Not that we got to see the hot tag or anything, but we needed a trailer for Dead Man Down right?

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a high cross body and the Samoan drop gets two on Rollins. Seth comes back and loads up a superplex on Jey but the other two come in to make it a Tower of Doom with Jimmy taking the worst of it. Jimmy superkicks Rollins down and hits the Superfly Splash but Reigns makes a last second save. The fans correctly think this is awesome. Rollins counters a middle rope Samoan drop into an across the ring buckle bomb, setting up the Reigns’ spear for the pin to retain at 14:50.

Rating: B. WOW this was better than I was expecting. The near falls in this were off the charts and the Usos actually had me believing they were going to win. The Shield has insane chemistry out there and the Usos proved that they can hang with them move for move. Excellent stuff here and by far the best pre-show match they’ve ever had.

The opening video is of course about money with the briefcases being loaded into an armored car. Cena and Henry get a generic video package as well.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett

Colter does his usual anti foreigners rant about being in one of the founding cities of America. “Maybe Betsy Ross should have put a taco and a burrito on the flag.” It’s a huge brawl to start and I’m not going to be able to keep up with most of the action in the ladder matches tonight. The two teams lay everyone else out and bring in a ladder each. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex to send Cody into the ladder before shouting WE THE PEOPLE. The Scholars take Cesaro the floor but Ambrose stops Swagger from climbing.

Ambrose, the crowd favorite, is left alone in the ring but Barrett makes the save. Barrett kicks Ambrose in the face, knocking the ladder on top of him in the process. Fandango kicks the ladder into Barrett’s face and hits a slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Barrett. Sandow makes the save as Dean knocks Rhodes off the top rope with another ladder. Fandango is sent face first into the ladder and suplexed onto the one in the corner for good measure. Cesaro makes a climb but has to stop Ambrose with a hanging chinlock off the ladder.

Cody makes the save and hits a Samoa Joe MuscleBuster to send Cesaro into a ladder. Barrett makes the save with a broken rung of a ladder in a new idea. He and Swagger go up now with Wade BLASTING him with the elbow to knock Swagger off. Fandango makes the save but Ambrose catches him with the bulldog driver off the bottom rung. Dean does the windmill spot with the ladder on his head but the Real Americans grab either end to break it up. They lift Ambrose in the air to choke him out but Ambrose skins the cat in mid air in an AWESOME spot. The Americans dump him to the floor but there’s no ladder left.

Cesaro gets on Swagger’s shoulders but Cody hits a springboard dropkick to take them both out. Cross Rhodes lays out Fandango and Barrett but he shouts instead of getting a ladder. He finally gets the big ladder but is met on top by Ambrose for a slugout. Cody rams him face first into the ladder over and over but Rollins and Reigns come out to break it up.

They run interference of everyone else in the match but here are the Usos to take the tag champions out. Cesaro and Swagger get in on the brawl as well but Ambrose is going up. Rhodes makes the save and shoves the ladder over, sending Ambrose onto everyone else. Cody is all alone but Sandow comes in out of nowhere to steal the case at 16:40.

Rating: B. This was solid but it was a step below a lot of these matches. The Ambrose and Shield stuff was great but I’m really not feeling the winner. Sandow hasn’t won a thing of note in like a year but he wins one match and we’re supposed to buy him as a main event level guy now? It doesn’t work that way but WWE can’t get that through their thick heads. Fans don’t forget wins and losses like the writers do.

Here’s Brad Maddox with something to say. He’s glad to be the GM and even though he can’t replace Vickie (“I don’t look good in high heels”) he’s put Vickie on the expert panel. She gets a spotlight followed by a video tribute to her on the Titantron. It’s a lot of her embarrassing moments followed by a standing boo for her. This is finally broken up by the start of the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Curtis Axel

Axel is defending. Miz gets a quick cover off a shoulder block but Axel takes him into the corner for control. Curtis is sent to the floor and caught by a baseball slide before Miz sends him back inside. Miz stares Heyman down, claps his hands and falls down. The referee looks at Heyman and ejects him for allegedly hitting Miz. Smart move there. Axel takes over with a dropkick but the fans are MUCH quieter now. The Hennig necksnap gets two and we hit an armbar.

Back up and Miz avoids a charge in the corner but the fans do not care at all. A big boot puts Axel down and the corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two. Axel comes back with a PerfectPlex for two but Miz hits his one kick to the leg and puts on the Figure Four. Curtis reverses but gets turned over again, only to be right in the ropes for the break. Axel bails to the floor for a second before coming back in for his neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it had no heat at all. People just don’t care about Miz at all and the Figure Four is a big reason why. It’s just a horrible move for him and comes off like a lame Ric Flair tribute, which is pretty much what it is. Nothing to see here but it was a way to let the fans breathe a bit after the big match.

Summerslam ad, which is basically All Grown Up from Wrestlemania a few years ago.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and this has been a very well built feud. They used to be friends but Kaitlyn went after the title instead of helping AJ when she was having relationship issues, so AJ turned on her and has taken everything Kaitlyn cares about. Kaitlyn has a bad elbow coming in and is with Layla here. Kaitlyn gets a quick two off a gutbuster but is sent into the post on the floor. AJ works on the arm with a bridging armbar (almost a one arm Cattle Mutilation) before hooking a crossface chickenwing of all things.

Back up and Kaitlyn fires off a dropkick and a big shoulder followed by the reverse DDT for two. AJ slaps her in the face so Kaitlyn takes her head off with a clothesline. Kaitlyn knocks her off the apron but Langston catches her in midair. The spear connects back inside but Kaitlyn hurts her elbow again. AJ hooks the Black Widow submission out of nowhere and Kaitlyn taps at 7:03.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but it worked well enough. Kaitlyn looked good with the power stuff (and the tight outfit) while AJ needed to be a bit more evil. I doubt this is over yet because that’s how WWE works, but the matches and story have been WAY better than anyone expected them to be.

The expert panel (Big Show, Kofi Kingston and Vickie) talk about the show so far.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Video on the opening of the WWE Performance Center.

We recap Ziggler vs. Del Rio. Ziggler won the world title through his MITB case the night after Wrestlemania then got injured on Smackdown. Del Rio went after Ziggler’s head to win the title at Payback so tonight it’s about revenge and the title for Dolph.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ziggler gets an AMAZING pop. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler gets two off a dropkick. Ten straight elbow drops (with the fans counting along) have Del Rio in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio scores with a running enziguri before sending Ziggler hard into the barricade. We hit the chinlock as the fans are nearly comatose for Del Rio. Can you blame them? There’s NOTHING interesting about him at all. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio does that stupid smile of his.

Del Rio pounds on the back but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. He tries to come in off the top but gets caught in a top rope X Factor for two. A Ziggler neckbreaker gets two and a Del Rio German suplex gets the same. The corner enziguri misses and Ziggler gets a close two off the Fameasser. It’s amazing how much the crowd is into Ziggler. Del Rio gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Ziggler gets the same by dropkicking Del Rio off the top.

Cue AJ to skip around the ring before Ziggler counters another tilt-a-whirl into a jumping DDT for two. Ziggler tells AJ to leave but the distraction allows Alberto to crotch him on the top. A reverse superplex gets two on Dolph and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad to reveal the knee brace but Ziggler avoids the shot…..and AJ hits Del Rio with the Divas Title for the DQ at 14:27.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the stupid ending. I have no idea what WWE’s obsession is with dragging out stories for as long as they can anymore but they need to get over it. This feud isn’t doing anything for anyone and it just keeps going. Either split up AJ and give Dolph the title or move on to something else. The match was good though.

Dolph yells at AJ post match and walks away, making Ziggler look like the jerk in the whole thing.

Video on WWE supporting the military.

Recap of Henry vs. Cena with Henry faking retirement and laying Cena out. He said the WWE Championship is the only thing he’s never won and he wants that one big run with the title. One thing WWE has done right in the last few years is make the WWE Championship seem like a MUCH bigger deal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We hear from the expert panel who have nothing interesting to say.

Video on the Wyatts attacking Kane.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t terrible but aside from maybe the ladder matches, there’s nothing interesting on here at all. Everything felt like it was just there to fill in a spot on the card which isn’t what you expect from a show like this. It’s not a horrible show but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see here. Believe it or not, Payback blew the doors off this show.

Results

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Cody Rhodes, Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett – Sandow pulled down the briefcase

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Ryback b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when AJ Lee interefered

John Cena b. Mark Henry – STF

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam, Sheamus, CM Punk, Christian and Daniel Bryan – Orton pulled down the briefcase

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Money in the Bank 2013 Preview

We’ve arrived at one of the biggest shows of the year and for once I’m excited.  The card is STACKED and the feuds have all been well built.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the pre-show.  I’ll take the Shield to retain.  I’m a fan of the Usos but come on.  It’s been two months since Shield won the belts and they’re not about to lose them to a team who was release fodder for the majority of last year.

Cena to retain of course.  This is the WWE’s bread and butter: take a superhero and put him against a big old monster, enjoy the crowd reactions.  Well in most cities but you get the idea.  Cena wins here and I don’t think there’s a cash-in yet.

Del Rio keeps his belt but it likely sets up another match in this feud.  Ziggler is popular and will be a god in Philadelphia, but WWE seems obsessed with keeping the title on Del Rio for some reason.  The match should be good but I have zero interest in Del Rio whatsoever.

In the surprise of the show, AJ keeps the belt via interference from Layla.  It’s not a surprise that AJ wins, but that I actually care about the match.  They’ve done a great job at actually setting up the feud and giving us a reason to care about Kaitlyn getting her revenge on the evil AJ.  Those INSANE spears that AJ sells so well help a lot too.  This should be entertaining though, which I can’t believe I’m saying.

Axel beats Miz.  I don’t think this needs an explanation.

Ryback over Jericho.  Ryback hasn’t won a PPV match since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one is interested in him.  It appears that Ryback is going to hook up with Vickie which might make people care about him a little bit so at least he has some hope.  The match should be good and there’s no need for Jericho to win.  This is a classic case of putting two guys in a match because they have nothing else to do and there’s nothing wrong with that thinking at all.

Now for the important matches.

I’ll go with the seemingly obvious choice and say Bryan wins the Raw MITB match.  RVD will be RVD, Sheamus and Orton would seem to cancel each other out, Christian just isn’t winning this match, and Punk will likely be taken out by Brock or Heyman to set up the Summerslam match.  There are rumors that Bray Wyatt will be replacing Kane but for the life of me I can’t see that happening.

That leaves us with the BIG wildcard of the show: the Smackdown MITB match.  However we do have a major clue: Ambrose hasn’t interacted with the other participants for the majority of the buildup, and in WWE terms that’s the cue for him to win.  Looking at the other contestants, we can immediately eliminate the Scholars for obvious reasons.  Fandango simply isn’t ready and has cooled WAY down since his concussion.  The Real Americans intrigue me but I could only put Cesaro at a distant second best option.  Barrett is interesting as well as WWE has been ready to pull the trigger on him for years now and it’s normal for them to job a guy to death before giving him something like MITB.  That leaves Ambrose which would be the right move.

 

Overall MITB looks very good for the most part.  There isn’t a match I’m not interested in other than the IC Title, the crowd is going to be white hot all night and the ladder matches are always entertaining.  WWE has turned it way up in the last few weeks and the shows have been the most fun they’ve been all year.  This should be a solid way to keep the summer rolling before we get to the important stuff at Summerslam.

 

Thoughts/predictions?




Smackdown – July 12, 2013: Raw Part II And That’s Just Fine

Smackdown
Date: July 12, 2013
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Money in the Bank and the card is entirely set. Tonight is going to be about trying to gain momentum heading into the PPV, so expect a lot of singles matches between the guys in the ladder matches. Hopefully the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match can get some attention for a change instead of the All-Star match dominating the shows. Let’s get to it.

Also before I get going, this morning I won some house show tickets from my local radio station. I know the wrestling expert used to read stuff from here, so in case he is again, thanks for not knowing your music videos Shorty.

Opening sequence again. I could go for that being a normal thing.

Daniel Bryan vs. Christian

Not a bad way to start things up. Bryan grabs the arm to start but is taken down by a shoulder block and a middle rope dropkick gets one for the Canadian. Bryan comes back in with kicks to the arm and some knees to the chest for two. Christian kicks out of a bow and arrow hold and hits a spinebuster of all things for two. The middle rope back elbow gets two more and a backdrop sends Bryan to the floor. Christian misses a baseball slide and gets caught by a clothesline and the running knee from the apron as we take a break.

Back with Christian getting two off a missed Bryan dropkick in the corner. Christian cranks on the neck but misses a charge and falls to the floor but a right hand breaks up the suicide dive. Bryan sends the already damaged arm into the steps and they head back inside with Christian damaged. Bryan backflips out of the corner but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip for two. They slug it out (kicks for Bryan vs. punches for Christian) with Bryan taking over, only to have the back of his neck snapped against the top rope.

Christian misses his high cross but Bryan misses the flying headbutt. Both guys are down but it’s Christian getting up first. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Christian ducks the big one to the head and hits the reverse DDT. The spear is countered by a pair of kicks to the head for two but the spear hits from out of nowhere for two more. The crowd is WAY into this. The Killswitch is countered and Christian tries another sunset flip out of the corner but he dives into the (once again) YES Lock for the submission at 9:25 shown of 12:10.

Rating: B. There wasn’t much to talk about in this match because both guys were on point the entire time. Christian was his usual solid self while Bryan had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. Changing the name back to the YES Lock is a good idea for the chants and it should make Bryan even more over with the crowd. The psychology in the end with Bryan learning from the past mistake was a nice touch.

Dolph Ziggler comes in to see Teddy Long but is told he has the night off. Ziggler wants to be out there competing but Teddy doesn’t want interference in Del Rio’s match with Sin Cara. Dolph accuses Del Rio and Teddy of being in cahoots together but forgets about it because he’ll win the title on Sunday.

Seth Rollins vs. Jey Uso

No intro for Jey. They fight over a lockup to start until Jey sends him into the corner to take over. Rollins pulls him off the middle rope for two and a belly to back suplex gets the same. We hit the chinlock but Jey is up quickly and no selling rams into the buckles. Jey fires off elbows to the face and the running Umaga attack in the corner but Reigns distracts him. Jimmy superkicks Roman down as Jey hits a Samoan drop, only to have Reigns offer another distraction, allowing Seth to crotch him. A running knee to the back of Jey’s head (the Black Out in NXT) is enough for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but I don’t see the point in having Jey lose here when his team is a big underdog in the title match on Sunday. The Usos continue to look good but they don’t have much of a chance on Sunday at all. It’s a good sign for the future of the Shield that all three can hold their own in the ring as Rollins did here.

We get a clip of Vickie being fired and Brad being named as the replacement. Why couldn’t the segment on Monday been 20 seconds like it was here?

Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title again as this is a rematch from Monday where Jericho won by pin. The champion takes him right into the corner for a mudhole stomping fifteen seconds into the match. Jericho comes back with a middle rope dropkick for two but Axel hammers him down again. Chris jumps over a charge in the corner, sending Axel shoulder first into the post. The Codebreaker is countered with Jericho being sent face first into the buckle as we take a break.

Back with Axel getting two off a middle rope elbow. Axel rubs his forearm over Jericho’s eyes and chokes him on the ropes. He ducks his head though allowing Jericho to kick him in the face, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Walls can’t go on and Axel hits a snap Saito suplex for two. Jericho sends him face first into the buckle and hits a high cross for two but can’t hit the Lionsault. Axel knocks Jericho off the apron and gets two off a neckbreaker back in the ring.

Another Walls attempt is countered into a small package for two but Jericho comes back with an enziguri for a near fall of his own. Curtis is backdropped to the floor but Jericho misses a baseball slide and Axel hits a clothesline. Bryan and Christian did that exact same sequence in their match. Axel yells at Jericho and sends him back inside but Jericho hits the Codebreaker on the way back in. Unfortunately for Chris it knocks Axel to the floor and it’s a countout at 7:25 shown of 10:10.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but Axel picked it up a bit in the end. I don’t like the idea of Axel losing twice in a row, especially when Jericho has a worthless match with Ryback on Sunday. Such is life for the Intercontinental Champion, but I guess we’ll forget all about this when Axel beats him with a rollup after interference from Heyman right?

Post match Axel freaks out but Heyman calms him down.

As a sidebar, during the match JBL was talking about Jericho’s career and said Jericho has gone toe to toe with and defeated Vader. I’ve never heard of this match and can find no evidence that it ever happened. Does anyone know anything about this? Odds are it would have been in Japan or Germany.

Ryback vs. The Miz

This is a rematch from two weeks ago where Ryback gave up due to his knee injury. I’m not sure when they did it but Feed Me More has been dropped from Ryback’s entrance. Miz makes Ryback miss to start and low bridges him to the floor. A baseball slide actually connects tonight, followed by an ax handle off the apron. Back in and Miz tries a sunset flip but gets caught and tossed into the corner. A powerslam puts him down and Ryback drops down onto Miz’s back to work on the ribs. Miz is whipped hard into the corner but slips out of another powerslam attempt to get in a shot to the knee.

Ryback runs Miz over and rams his head into the mat a few times but a splash hits knees. A dropkick to the knee puts Ryback down and a big boot sets up the corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle for no cover. The Figure Four is blocked so Miz hits a DDT on the leg to soften it up even more. A Stunner on the leg out of the corner has Ryback screaming in pain but he says not to stop the match. He has the referee help him to his feet but fires off a Meathook and the Shell Shock for the pin at 5:54. I can appreciate some good goldbricking.

Rating: D+. This is another good example of how stupid WWE’s booking is. Inside of fifteen minutes, both people in the IC Title match on Sunday have lost matches. Who is the favorite in that match? The guy who didn’t lose as badly? No one cares about the title or the champion because WWE gives us no reason to care about the title or the champion. Also wasn’t Ryback the guy who went through a war with Cena for the WWE Title but can barely make it through a six minute match now? The lack of consistency in this company is pathetic.

Sheamus can beat Orton because an Irishman drove out all the snakes. As for Sunday, he isn’t known as someone who carries a briefcase but maybe he can put his cornbeef and cabbage in there. Once he wins, the pints are on him. Oh and he thinks Renee is cute. It was as added on at the end as it sounds.

A bunch of the Divas are in the ring for the contract signing between Kaitlyn and AJ. AJ picks up the pen but addresses the “sequined sisters of the sparkling pants.” She knows none of them like either her or Kaitlyn, but no one cared about the division until she won the title. AJ wants to be congratulated by everyone but Teddy says we don’t have time for that. The champion signs but she doesn’t think Kaitlyn should do that. Kaitlyn signs and AJ smiles. AJ pulls out her phone and reads off some of the texts that Kaitlyn sent to her secret admirer.

Apparently she doesn’t trust Natalya, thinks the Funkadactyls don’t care about anything but the reality show and that she’s tired of being put into a mold just for bodybuilding. AJ offers her a chance to tear up the contract but Kaitlyn says she’ll never let another needy, clingy man crazed psychopath destroy her again. She’ll be champion again while AJ is locked in a padded cell rocking back and forth. AJ slaps her but Kaitlyn shoves the table and AJ’s chair into the corner, giving AJ a terrified look. Langston makes the save so Kaitlyn slaps him too and spears AJ in half. This was a great segment and actually has me wanting to see the match.

Wade Barrett vs. Fandango

This is a result of Barrett knocking Fandango out for saying his name when told not to. Colter and company are at ringside and are now known as the Real Americans. That’s much better than Colter’s Militia or whatever their name was for like a day. Cole makes political jokes as Barrett kicks Fandango in the face for two. Colter questions Sandow’s citizenship and Barrett hits a backbreaker for two. Barrett pounds on Fandango in the corner but the Scholars come out to yell at Colter. The distraction allows Fandango to kick Barrett in the head and roll him up for the pin at 1:47.

In case you’re wondering, yes that’s all the time the Smackdown MITB match is getting tonight.

Kane is out of the All-Star match due to the Wyatt Family’s attack.

We get an extended Wyatt Family vignette leading into a video of the attack on Kane from Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Sin Cara comes out second for some reason. Cara goes right after Del Rio with forearms to the head and is WAY more aggressive than usual. JBL thinks something is up and Sin Cara hits the Zig Zag on Del Rio. Cole thinks there’s nothing going on and JBL goes into full ARE YOU KIDDING ME mode. It wasn’t quite La Parka vs. Randy Savage but I love a good masked man segment.

Cara poses on the ramp but here’s Vickie Guerrero to screech at us. No one has shown her any respect since Monday and she even had to buy a ticket to be here tonight. She rips up the ticket and is marching around ringside so here’s Teddy with security to get her out of here.

Teddy catches up to Sin Cara in the back and demands an explanation. Dolph Ziggler pops up next to both of them and Teddy is very confused.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

They fight over a lockup to start before it turns into a fist fight. Sheamus takes it into the corner with forearms but the referee gets him away, allowing Orton to get in some right hands of his own. A quick suplex gets two for Sheamus as the dueling chants begin. Sheamus powerslams him down for two but Orton sends him out to the floor. Sheamus rams him into the announce table but Orton comes back with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock with a bodyscissors. Back up and they slug it out again with Orton going down off a clothesline. Sheamus starts firing off the ax handles to the head but Orton comes back with his clotheslines and the powerslam for two. Orton kicks Sheamus in the face but walks into the Irish Curse. White Noise is countered into the backbreaker for two and both guys are down. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop, setting up the ten forearms.

Sheamus hits the rolling senton and calls for the Brogue Kick but Orton ducks away. Sheamus goes to the middle rope but gets caught in the Elevated DDT out of the corner. An RKO attempt is blocked and Sheamus loads up the top rope shoulder but Orton crotches him down. A superplex attempt by Orton is blocked into both guys falling out to the floor….and here’s Daniel Bryan with a ladder. Both guys get back in and Bryan lays them out for the double DQ at 9:40 shown of 12:20.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for the most part but the ending was clearly going to be inconclusive. Bryan continues to act like a heel despite being the most over guy on the roster, which makes me think WWE either has a convoluted plan for him or they have no idea what they’re doing. Either way this was good stuff but the ending hurt it.

Post match Bryan goes up the ladder but Sheamus pulls him down. Christian comes in too and all four guys go for the case. Bryan shoves Christian off but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton to climb the ladder and unhook the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. We had good wrestling here and the PPV matches were built up (albeit some far less than others). What more can you ask for out of a go home show? The World Heavyweight Championship MITB match is being given no love at all but it’s such a wide open field that several people could win it. The whole show worked pretty well with nothing bad an a very good Divas segment in the middle. Very good show this week and MITB should be awesome.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Christian – YES Lock

Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Running stomp to the head

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel via countout

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

Fandango b. Wade Barrett – Rollup

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus went to a double DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Monday Night Raw – July 8, 2013: Follow The Buzzards To An Excellent Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2013
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a pretty stacked show tonight. First and foremost, THEY’RE HERE! Tonight is the debut of the Wyatt Family who have been sending creepy messages to the company for months now. Other than that we have the job performance evaluation of Vickie Guerrero, meaning all of the bosses of the company will be in one place at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family vignette, saying we’re coming.

Opening sequence.

Vickie and Brad are in the ring with a ladder and a referee to open the show. She talks about how important the ladder has been to the WWE’s history with people like Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and HHH. To her it represents her climbing up the corporate ladder over her career. If she falls, she’s holding the fans responsible. Vickie goes up top of the ladder and compares WWE to companies like IBM and GE. She’s done everything on her own for years and has done her best to entertain the people. From the top of the ladder to the bottom of her heart, everything she’s done has been for the people.

Jerry Lawler of all people cuts her off and says EXCUSE ME? Lawler has received word that in preparation of the job evaluation tonight, the McMahons and HHH are taking in all factors, including the WWE Universe. There’s a poll on the WWE App where you can give her a pass or fail grade as managing supervisor.

Vickie says she considers the WWE Universe like her family, meaning they have good and bad days. At the end of the day though, they’ll have her back right? What sounds like Vince’s voice is heard saying “Please don’t fall Vickie.” but it sounded like something we weren’t supposed to hear. Tonight it’s Cena vs. Henry face to face, along with Christian vs. Kane, Punk vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. Dang this is a packed show. Sheamus vs. Bryan is RIGHT NOW.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock to start before taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. They hit the ropes with Bryan nipping up and knocking Sheamus down with a clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse for two. They fall out to the floor with Bryan trying the running knee to the face but being caught in mid air and dropped into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Bryan backflipping over Sheamus in the corner but charging into another Irish Curse for two. A back elbow gets two more for Sheamus and the rolling senton puts Bryan down again. The Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus tumbles to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT to put both guys down again. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two for Bryan but he kicks Sheamus to the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

Sheamus gets crotched while loading up the top rope shoulder but blocks a top rope hurricanrana, allowing him to hit the shoulder for two. Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and hits a big kick to Sheamus’ head for two, but the following Swan Dive misses and both guys are down. Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks followed by a crucifix for two. Bryan tries to transition into the NO Lock but Sheamus counters into the Cloverleaf, which Bryan counters into a small package for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: B. This right here is a great example of why I hated the Sandow feud. Sheamus can have some AWESOME matches when he isn’t toying with someone five levels below him. Bryan’s rocket push continues as Sheamus is someone that almost never loses a match anywhere. When’s the last time he was pinned clean? December against Big Show I believe? Great match here.

They shake hands post match.

WWE has sent someone to the bayou to find the Wyatt Family compound.

AJ tells Langston to be worried about Kaitlyn but Langston laughs it off. Ziggler pops in and wants to talk to her in private. He wants to know why she’s never out there for his matches anymore and is following Kaitlyn for some reason. AJ says she’ll do anything to be the power couple they’re destined to be but Ziggler doesn’t seem sure. AJ seems to offer sex but Ziggler wants the world title instead. Everything seems ok though.

We get the same career retrospective on Mark Henry that we got last week.

We look at RVD vs. Eddie Guerrero from Raw in 2002.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Tons of Funk

Brodus slams Rollins down to start before bringing in Tensai for a double chop. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Rollins before it’s back to Brodus who misses a cross body. Off to Reigns who takes Brodus’ head off with a clothesline for two. We get a McGuire Twins reference from JBL (they were a tag team who weighed a combined 1500lbs or so) as Reigns puts on a chinlock.

Roman pounds on Brodus as the match continues to go longer than it should. Reigns tries a Samoan Drop but Brodus slips down the back into a rollup for two. Brodus hits a belly to back suplex to escape and makes the tag off to Tensai. The bald one cleans house and hits the rolling senton in the corner followed by the Baldo Bomb for two on Rollins. Seth ducks under a charge and Rollins spears Tensai down for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D+. This started very slow but the hot tag to Tensai picked things way up. The JBL commentary with old references was very entertaining but it went over the heads of most of the fans which is a shame. Other than that though there wasn’t much of note here, as there was no way Shield was losing six days before a title defense.

The reporter has found Wyatt Family members Luke Harper and Erick Rowan (the guy in the mask) and seems to be kidnapped by Harper.

Here’s Cena for the showdown with Henry. He sucks up to the crowd by saying it sounds like Money in the Bank is tonight. Cena is here to face Mark Henry but there’s no Henry. Cue the big guy who says that he’s starving for something. Cena makes a Snickers joke but Henry says he’s not going to respond to something like that. Instead he’s going to chill because he’s a different man now.

He’s known who Cena is for years and he’s a puppet. That title will validate Henry’s career and will make him a first ballot Hall of Famer. He’d sell out his mama to have that title. Cena says Henry better win on Sunday then because he sees a desperate man in Henry. If Henry doesn’t win it, he loses everyone’s respect and seventeen years will have been wasted. Henry cracks up because he doesn’t care what the people think. People love Cena or they hate him but Henry doesn’t care.

There are lines that Cena won’t cross because of who he is, but Cena takes the hat and shirt off and draws a line with his foot. Henry says not for free, because he’ll get Cena on Sunday, but then he takes his shirt off anyway. Mark goes towards Cena but stops and says he’ll see Cena Sunday. Henry charges again and runs over Cena but John tries an AA. The weight is too much though and he lands on the champ’s head, knocking him out. Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam before posing with the title.

Orton says he’ll win the MITB contract on Sunday and would have no problem cashing in on Cena if he was laid out like he was moments ago.

Miz is on commentary for the next match.

 

Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

 

Non title here. Heyman has sunglasses due to a bad black eye at the hands of Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown. Axel says that Jericho wears a jacket with Christmas lights on it but neither he nor Miz is standing in the way of perfection. Jericho quickly dropkicks him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take the champion down. Back in and Axel kicks Jericho down as we take a break.

 

Back with Jericho fighting back but not being able to hook the Walls. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris and a high cross body gets the same. Axel comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two but Jericho bulldogs him down and gets two off the Lionsault. The Codebreaker is countered into a PerfectPlex for a VERY close two as Heyman is beside himself.

 

Jericho hooks the Walls (BIG pop for that) but Axel quickly makes it to the rope. Axel is knocked off the apron and into the announce table, drawing Miz to his feet. Heyman gets his client back inside before the countout but he walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:14, his first loss as a Heyman Guy.

 

Rating: C+. Good match here and at least the ending wasn’t clean. I don’t like having the champion lose here after the bad luck the champions have had over the previous few months but that’s life in the WWE anymore. The match was good though and having Axel rub elbows with top level guys is going to do nothing but good for him.

 

We look at RVD winning the IC Title on Raw from Christian in 2003.

 

Sandow keeps cutting Rhodes off from talking about MITB. Colter, Cesaro and Swagger come in to say the country is in trouble. They don’t seem pleased with Sandow but Colter says the son of an American Dream should know better. Barrett comes in and says he’s winning but Colter says Barrett doesn’t speak English. Fandango comes in but everyone cuts off the catchphraase in a funny bit. He goes to say it anyway so Barrett drops him with a Bull Hammer.

Back to the Bayou where Harper takes the cameraman inside, telling him not to stray. The compound is very dark but we find Bray Wyatt himself, who says he’s been waiting for us. Creepy stuff man.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The colored lights are back which don’t fit for a match with the World Heavyweight Champion involved. Del Rio takes him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Cara to get two off a kick to the face. Cara goes up but gets caught with a running enziguri for two. Del Rio hits another running enziguri in the corner for two more and it’s off to an armbar by the champion.

Cue Ziggler (and the regular lighting) and Cara gets two off a rollup. Ziggy says that he’s sorry for what he did to Ricardo but he’s going to introduce Del Rio the way he should be introduced. The match keeps going as Ziggler makes small genitals jokes. Cara gets two off a slingshot senton but walks into a German suplex. A LOUD superkick puts Cara down but Del Rio finally goes after Ziggler for the brawl. Sin Cara hits a big dive to take Alberto out as the match ends at about 5:00.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for how loud Del Rio’s kicks were. I don’t see why they couldn’t have Del Rio get the win here as it’s not like Sin Cara is doing anything right now. Ziggler is still lacking that big moment to solidify his face turn but he’s getting closer. The announcing wasn’t funny but then again most things in WWE aren’t anymore.

It’s time for the job evaluation. The trio of judges sit in front of Vickie as she pleads her case for why she should stay. She talks about getting rid of crazy AJ and takes credit for RVD, Rock and Undertaker all returning. Stephanie says Vickie had nothing to do with those returns so Vickie talks about Brock, before apologizing for Lesnar attacking Vince and HHH.

Vince stands up and says bringing Lesnar back was a genius move. He believes that Vickie is highly entertaining but she’s made some boneheaded decisions in the name of good entertainment. HHH says Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining but she’s terrible at her job. For instance a few weeks ago she was promoting the WWE video game but the people were booing her out of the building. Vince might think it’s entertaining, but Vince’s thoughts on entertainment aren’t all that modern. “It’s why the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.”

HHH sucks up to the fans and says they want and deserve better than Vickie Guerrero. He does give her one point: she has the most annoying voice in the history of broadcast television. Vince praises her for breaking through the male dominated glass ceiling and thinks she should be permanent GM. HHH speaks up again and says the whole point of this is Vince is going to do what he wants, including putting a spineless puppet like Vickie in power.

HHH says Stephanie should get to decide Vickie’s fate and Vince agrees. Both guys suck up to her (“Daddy’s little girl!” “The mother of my children and the woman that has to go home for me after this.”) but Stephanie says the answer will be decided by the WWE App vote. The results say Vickie failed by a margin of 75% to 25%, meaning Vickie is fired. Vickie rants about how you can’t trust the people and how she’s not a spineless puppet. Stephanie fires her and Vickie goes into evil mode.

She falls to her face and screams a lot as the fans chant NO MORE VICKIE. Vickie crawls onto the table and shouts that the McMahons need her in charge. Vince stays in the ring and asks the people if they’re happy. He blames the fans for failing and throwing away the most entertaining GM in Raw history. We need a new GM and that will be…..Brad Maddox. Oh joy. Maddox is shocked and stands still in the ring as Vince helps Vickie out.

Post break Vickie is crying and Vince says he’ll make it right somehow. Maddox comes up and thanks Vince for the opportunity but Vince won’t shake his hand. Vince asks Brad how long he’ll hold his hand out for but Vickie goes after Brad and says get out of his life. The new GM runs off. Vince: “You ruined my jacket!”

Kane vs. Christian

Kane shoves Christian around to start and hits a hard whip into the corner. The Canadian escapes a powerslam and snaps Kane’s neck over the top rope. A middle rope dropkick gets two as the commentators rattle off MITB stats. They head to the floor for a big dive off the top from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian hitting a tornado DDT out of the corner for two. An uppercut puts Christian down but the top rope clothesline misses. Christian charges into the chokeslam out of nowhere for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Screw the reason because THEY’RE HERE.

Wyatt pops up on the screen and says that he has brothers, not followers. It’s time for the people to stand up and realize what’s going on. He’s seen it all in his dreams his thoughts and he understands that this is the end instead of the beginning. He lights a lantern and says we’re here before blowing the light out.

Back in the arena the lights are out and the Family’s music starts playing. Wyatt walks out with a lantern and sits down in what is presumably his rocking chair. The lights come up and Harper/Rowan (not yet named) are attacking Kane. They’re big guys who can look Kane in the eye and pound him down. They get him to the floor and send him into the steps before crushing Kane’s head between the steel. Wyatt gets in Kane’s face and says what sounded like down with the machine. The fans chant Husky Harris because they have to think they’re smart.

Vickie carries out her box of stuff but runs into Ryback. He puts the box on the floor and hugs her, saying it’s going to be ok.

The Bellas are on commentary for the next match.

AJ Lee/Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn/Layla

Layla starts by throwing kicks at Alicia as the Bellas insult AJ. A quick rollup gets two for Layla as the Bellas basically bury the entire Divas division. Kaitlyn goes after AJ and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn hits a SWEET spear to knock AJ out cold. The match is stopped at about 2:00.

Punk wants to know if he’s best in the world because he held the title for 434 days or did he hold the title for 434 days because he’s the best in the world.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split down the middle. Orton runs him over with a shoulder block and a sweet dropkick takes Punk down. Punk comes back with a suplex for two as the dueling chants begin again. The Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head to send Orton to the floor. The suicide dive takes Orton down again as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock and taking Punk down with a t-bone suplex before he can make a comeback. We hit the chinlock again but Punk fights up and hits a quick dropkick to put Orton down. Orton comes back with his clotheslines but Punk avoids the powerslam and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker puts Randy down again and there’s the running knee in the corner. The Macho Elbow connects for no cover but it’s GTS time. Orton shoves Punk through the ropes for the Elevated DDT but can’t follow up with a cover.

Orton loads up the RKO but Punk blocks, only to be caught in the snap powerslam for two. Punk escapes ten punches in the corner and hits another running knee to the chest but Orton escapes the GTS. The RKO is blocked by a high kick to the head and it’s a GTS for the clean pin at 13:41.

Rating: B-. Another good match to close out the show here with Punk looking strong. Orton doesn’t lose a thing by getting pinned here as it’s all about climbing on Sunday. This was your usual battle of the superstars formula and it worked as well as you would have expected it to. These two always have solid chemistry together.

Post match Bryan runs out and beats up Punk before hitting Orton with a ladder. He climbs up and grabs the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a blast with this show tonight and it absolutely flew by. We had good to great matches all night, the AMAZING Wyatt Family debut, a solid build to the PPV on Sunday, that wicked spear from Kaitlyn, the reaction from Maddox when he was named GM, the funny Fandango segment and Layla in some of the smallest shorts in recorded history. WWE is on a roll right now and this was one of the best shows they’ve had in a long time. I’m fired up for MITB and I never came close to that for Payback or Extreme Rules.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Small Package

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Tons of Funk – Spear to Tensai

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel – Codebreaker

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest

Kane b. Christian – Chokeslam

Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Layla went to a no contest

CM Punk b. Randy Orton – GTS

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: July 3, 2012 – Smackdown: They Call This Great?

Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2012
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s another live show here and in this case it’s the Great American Bash. The main event tonight is a 20 man battle royal with the winner getting to be GM next week on Friday. That’s up in the air and only offers a few interesting options, which means one of them is likely going to win. These shows are very hit and miss so hopefully this is the former of the two. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with a big party. There are girls in small outfits, Hornswoggle in the tub and Teddy in a Kiss the GM apron. Eve is going to be the cleaning lady tonight. Santino is brought forward to light the barbecue to officially start things off. Teddy and Santino back off from lighting it as Kane is here. He lights the fire for them in a cute bit.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is having guests that are going to keep me from seeing Dark Knight Rises for another week.

Cole says he’s going to get inside AJ’s head tonight.

Here’s Del Rio to open the show. He’s going to talk about himself, namely his match at MITB with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to be sent back to Ireland because he’s just like all these people: a hooligan trying to take advantage of people like Del Rio. Alberto came here legally and is making money both here and in Mexico, unlike everyone here. He wants to send everyone here to the place where they belong, so he asks to see some people’s papers. One guy doesn’t have them so Alberto asks for security to take him out. The guy says this is Texas, not Arizona.

Cue Sheamus for the save and they brawl in the aisle. The champ throws Del Rio off the stage and into the barricade a few times. Ricardo keeps trying to help and eventually it allows Del Rio to kick Sheamus in the head. Ricardo opens the hood and Del Rio slams it down onto Sheamus’ back over and over.

Post break we look at most of the attack all over again. Sheamus is taken out and has some blood coming down his head.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Cody brags about having another qualifying match later tonight but Teddy informs him that it’s against Christian. Cody isn’t happy.

Raw Moment: Foley wins the title. They spend about as much time talking about WCW spoiling it and 600,000 people changing the channel than about the title change itself.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Christian

Non-title. The idea is that Cody has never beaten Christian so he’s in over his head here. Cody sends him to the apron and hits a Disaster Kick for two. Rhodes looks at the case a lot and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a hammerlock before hitting a release gordbuster for two. Christian comes back with a middle rope missile dropkick and gets fired up.

He slingshots to the floor and uppercuts Cody followed by a running seated dropkick. Top rope cross body gets two for the champ. Cody’s Alabama Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two. He goes to unhook the buckle but Christian grabs him with a reverse DDT for two. The spear is countered but Cody misses the Disaster Kick. Killswitch is countered into the Cross Rhodes for the completely clean pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. Well that was kind of anti-climactic. Naturally there was NO ONE that Cody could beat other than Christian to qualify right? I mean, there was no one else that could job out there other than a champion. The match was good but it makes the title look weak again which they had been changing for awhile.

Backstage Ryder starts a dance party after Slater is run off. Brodus takes center stage.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley

Riley immediately hits a great dropkick for a fast two. Ziggler DDTs him down for a fast two and takes over. Riley makes a fast comeback with a clothesline in the corner and a spinebuster for two. The crowd continues to be into Riley which is interesting. Inverted DDT is countered but Ziggler’s Stinger Splash misses, giving Riley a rollup for a close two. Zig Zag gets the pin at 2:28.

Cole is in the ring to interview AJ. That theme song of hers’ is catchy. Cole says he’s fair and balanced, unlike AJ who is clearly unbalanced. We get a long video recapping everything AJ did last night. Cole cuts her off and says AJ wasn’t thinking. He calls her a teenager (she’s 25) and asks if she’s ever thought about pursuing a real man. One with power and influence and a former war correspondent who became the voice of the WWE.

Cue Bryan before this gets too weird. He calls Cole a sexist and says AJ didn’t mean for him to go through a table last night. It was all a misunderstanding. Cue Punk who angrily throws Cole out. He says AJ did something last night that directly affected both Bryan and himself last night. Punk isn’t going to pretend it didn’t happen just because AJ is guest referee. She’s not in a good place mentally and maybe some of that is Punk’s fault. Punk says AJ needs professional help but Bryan cuts him off.

Bryan says that Punk is trying to be tricky because AJ is the guest referee. The only thing Punk cares about is having AJ as guest referee because he needs her to retain the title. AJ kisses Bryan for awhile and Punk shakes his head and leaves. She goes after him and kisses him too. Bryan looks stunned and Punk looks confused. AJ skips off and does a YES chant on the stage.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Back to the party where Little Jimmy is jumping up and down. Sandow comes in and unplugs the cord. He says this isn’t what our founding fathers fought for. Ryder gets in his face but Sandow has a speech ready. A fight breaks out with the people chanting Ryder. Zach gets the punch bowl but it goes onto Eve. Everyone laughs at her and it’s time to keep dancing.

Hawkins and Reks both think they can beat Ryback but Hawkins won the coin toss and gets to face him.

Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries a sleeper but gets caught in the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Ryback slams his head into the mat and hits an overhead choke suplex. Hawkins gets his head taken off by a clothesline and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:08.

Sheamus is out of the battle royal tonight.

Raw Moment: Vince Appreciation Night. Donald Trump made it rain money.

Here’s Teddy to thank the fans for letting him be the GM this week.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Heath Slater, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Big Show, Great Khali, Brodus Clay, Damien Sandow, Tensai, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zach Ryder, Santino Marella, Cody Rhodes, Christian

Only the big names get entrances as per usual. At the moment I’m probably missing some names but i’ll fill them in as we go. Show throws out Justin and Brodus quickly. A bunch of people team up to throw out Khali. I’m missing one guy but I’m not sure if Sheamus was replaced or now. Ryder knocks out Sandow and Cody throws out Santino. Oh Christian is #20. Show shoves out Kofi and Cody as we take a break.

Back with ten guys to go as Bryan and Punk slug it out. Bryan stands in front of the ropes and Punk charges at him, eliminating both guys. Ok so we have Kane, Ziggler, Cena, Christian, Del Rio, Tensai, Ryder and Big Show to go. Big Show chokeslams Cena but Kane chokeslams Big Show. Tensai goes after Kane and pounds him into the corner. Cena erupts and beats up everyone before tossing Del Rio. Kane takes an AA but Tensai slows Cena down.

Christian and Ryder work on Big Show but that gets them nowhere. Cena dumps Tensai but Show dumps Cena immediately thereafter. So it’s Big Show, Ryder, Christian, Ziggler and Kane. Show spears Ryder down and easily tosses out Christian to get us down to four. Ziggler puts Show in the sleeper but Kane kicks Show in the head to put them both out.

It’s Ryder vs. Kane now which isn’t the pairing I was expecting. Kane pounds him down but runs into the corner knees and the Broski Boot. Ryder tries the Rough Ryder because he’s not that bright, but he escapes the chokeslams and low bridges Kane for the elimination and the win at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Why not? Seriously, why not? You can’t say this was predictable and it was pretty fun at the same time. Ryder has nothing to do and it’s good to give him a featured spot on next week’s show. This is probably Ryder’s second biggest win ever and maybe it’ll be the start of a new push for him. Nothing special here but I had a good time with it.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that’s more based around fun than quality. That’s ok but I’d kind of like to see something that actually matters on Smackdown once in awhile. This felt like any other episode and the live aspect didn’t really change anything other than the day it was airing on. As for the American aspect of it, there was almost nothing here other than some standard comedy bits and Duggan/Slaughter’s required appearances. Nothing to see here but it was nothing particularly bad so we’ll go with a little above average.

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