Thoughts?

It’s after Over the Limit and Sheamus is still champion after a pretty fun fatal fourway. Other than that there isn’t much to talk about other than a new Intercontinental Champion in the form of Christian. We begin the build to No Way Out tonight but since Raw was mostly a throwaway show, I’d expect about the same thing here. Hopefully it’s better than last week’s. Let’s get to it.

The opening is about Cena vs. Ace from the PPV and the fallout from Raw.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is three and a half minute recaps of a story that I didn’t like when it aired on Raw.

Here’s Eve to open us up in the arena. Ace isn’t here tonight so she’s in charge. Ace is going to deal with Cena on Monday so tonight, she’s going to deal with Sheamus. Sheamus is going to issue a public apology for running over Ace on Monday and also, she’ll name his #1 contender. Cue Alberto who sucks up to Eve for awhile. She says no one is more deserving than him, but here’s Orton for a rebuttal.

He introduces himself to Eve and asks the fans who they would like to see. After the obvious response, here’s Kane. Kane says he should get to face “that pasty white Irish ghost.” If you need more convincing, tonight is episode #666 of Smackdown. Eve makes a triple threat for the title shot.

Christian vs. Hunico

Non-title here. Christian takes him down with a forearm but stops to go after Camacho, allowing Hunico to get in a shot and a suicide dive. A springboard dive misses and Christian takes over again. A big right hand puts Hunico on his knee and a middle rope back elbow puts him on his back. After a baseball slide takes out Hunico, it’s Killswitch and Frog Splash for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as Hunico is a guy that is very slowly growing on me. I like Christian using the frog splash better than just the Killswitch as it looks more devastating. It’s also more of a face move which furthers his turn a little more. This made Christian look good but let Hunico get in some offense at the same time. Proper jobber usage makes me happy.

Cody comes out with Christian still in the ring. He talks about how he spent eight months making the title important again after it had been held by jokes. Cody restored it to greatness that people like Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels and Cody Rhodes gave it. It won’t take him eight months to get it back, but rather 3 seconds.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Usos

Jimmy vs. Titus to start. This is due to some argument in the back earlier today where they made fun of each others’ dances. The Usos take over quickly and double team O’Neil in the corner. Young kicks Jey in the back though and the NXT Crew takes over. Titus suplexes Young onto Jey for two. Young misses a charge and it’s off to Jimmy. He cleans a few rooms of the house and everything breaks down. Jey looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Young crotches him and the Demolition Decapitator gets the pin at 3:12. The Millions of Dollars dance is still good.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match for the most part here, but again I have to ask: where was this from Young/O’Neil for a year on NXT? This was entertaining and I’m liking this team more when they’re on every week. They have charisma and show off out there, which is what they never did on the yellow show. Alas, the Usos are the tag team jobbers now.

Sin Cara returns next week.

Ryback vs. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol

The jobbers make fun of the town some more and I think you can figure this one out. Ryback’s left eye is MESSED UP. It’s all bruised and it looks like there’s blood in it. The cannon fodder doesn’t have to tag. Ryback picks one of them up in a powerbomb position and slams him into the other guy. Powerbomb kills one and the clothesline kills another. Ryback picks one of them up for the MuscleBuster, then picks the other one up AT THE SAME TIME. He walks them around and a double MuscleBuster ends this at 1:26. That ending was awesome.

Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

This should be entertaining. It’s a continuation of Ricardo getting beaten up on Raw. Ricardo wrestles in his tuxedo and has his own theme music. He introduces himself as well which is amusing. Santino hooks a headlock but Ricardo shoves him off and runs the ropes while Santino watches. We get an airplane spin from Santino but he makes himself dizzy and falls to the floor. He crawls under the ring and sneaks up on Ricardo so that the Cobra can end it at 1:50. Comedy matches are fine.

Here’s Sheamus for his apology. Sheamus says it was an accident but it was accidentally on purpose. He apologizes for Ace being so horrible and for Eve and Otunga being so far up Johnny that they can tell what he has for breakfast. Oh and Big Show sucks too. As for No Way Out, he wants to face Orton. Here’s Vickie for some reason who says Eve has made a match for Sheamus.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

They lock up and go into the corner with no one getting an advantage. Some elbows to the face knock Swagger back but Sheamus misses a charge into the corner. It turns into a fist fight which puts Jack down, followed by the top rope shoulder for two. Swagger goes to the floor so Sheamus runs him over out there too. Vickie offers a distraction which lets Swagger knock Sheamus off the apron and possibly injure the champ’s ankle.

We take a break and come back with Swagger working on both the ankle and the shoulder. He DDTs the leg for two. Swagger ties it up in the ropes in the corner but misses a kick. Sheamus hits a neckbreaker and both guys are down. The champ comes back with the ax handles and the forearms in the ropes. Jack kicks him in the ankle again and goes for the ankle lock but Sheamus kicks him off. Brogue Kick misses and Swagger takes out the leg for two. Booker: “Two and three quarters. That’s a victory!” Sheamus escapes the gutwrench powerbomb and the Brogue Kick finishes at 6:56 shown of 10:26.

Rating: C. This was fine. Swagger is firmly cemented in his jobber to the stars status and given how dull he’s become lately, that’s about as much as he can ask for. Sheamus looked decent here but he still needs some more development. It’s not an emergency though as the fans are cheering him very strong at the moment. Decent match.

Big Show will speak later. Cole says these might be the darkest days in WWE history. I know Cole is known for hyperbole, but are you kidding me?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow does his usual stuff before the match. I’m digging the Backlund robe too. Yoshi is an ignoramus and a dunce. The hot pink trunks work too. Yoshi charges and Sandow hides in the ropes while shouting at the referee to “please do your job thank you!” Sandow gets a shot in and the neckbreaker ends this at 45 seconds.

We look at the ending to the Ryback match again.

No Way Out ad, set like a 1920s silent movie. AJ is tied to railroad tracks, Bryan saves her, and AJ ties him up. She has a mustache now too. Cool?

We recap Big Show on Raw and at the PPV, because we might have forgotten it in the last hour and fifteen minutes. And Cole, it still isn’t the darkest day in WWE history.

Here’s Big Show for an explanation. Show says he was never fired until a few weeks ago. Everyone here has probably been fired, but they don’t love what they do. He’s a 7’4 giant and loves to wrestle. No one offered him any sympathy and he wasn’t too pleased with that. Show is sitting on a stool for this. After all the years he’s been here, that’s what he gets? The fans think he sold out which he denies.

After everything he’s done, this is the thanks he gets? It made him realize he has no friends and that he’s alone in this world. Then he got a phone call. The fans chant for Cena. Show says he made a deal with Ace to come back with a new contract and a big fat bonus. He knew exactly what he would do and he knows he’ll knock Cena out at the PPV. The fans never cared for him and now he doesn’t care for them. Why couldn’t we get this explanation on Raw? Didn’t he say he didn’t owe us one? Still though, it’s better than nothing.

As Show is leaving, here’s Kane. I guess we’re running short on time because he’s just coming out for the main event early. As Kane gets in, Bryan appears and beats the tar out of Kane with a chair. He probably hit him 20 times. I’m not sure if you can call this a face action or not, but it draws a HUGE YES chant.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kane

The winner gets Sheamus at No Way Out. Kane is going to give it a go here. Orton goes after Alberto to start but punches Kane a bit too. Del Rio gets knocked to the floor and Kane hits the low dropkick on Orton for two. Orton hits his backbreaker but Del Rio makes the save. Kane knocks both of them to the floor and follows them to the outside. He beats up both guys but Orton comes back and rams both of them into the barricade and adds a few shots to the table for Kane.

Orton loads up the elevated DDT but Alberto hits an enziguri to break that up. We take a break and come back with Kane hitting Del Rio with an uppercut. Orton takes one as well which gets two for Kane. An elbow drop gets the same. Del Rio hits the enziguri to the shoulder and Kane goes down, giving Team Mexico control. Orton backdrops him to the apron and dropkicks him to the floor, but he walks into a side slam for two.

Kane goes up for the clothesline but Del Rio comes back in and runs up the corner for an enziguri that puts Kane on the floor. A big kick misses and Orton comes back. Kane comes back in and takes the powerslam, as does Del Rio. Del Rio goes to the corner but Orton hits the elevated DDT to bring him back down. The RKO is escaped and Kane pulls Randy to the floor and sends him into the steps.

The top rope clothesline misses but the cross armbreaker is escaped and Kane hits the chokeslam. Here’s Bryan again with the chair but Kane sees him coming. Kane chases him off but as he gets back in, here’s Bryan again. Kane sees him again and stares him down. As Kane turns around he walks into the RKO. Del Rio kicks Orton away and steals the pin at 7:51 shown of 11:21.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good, although the chair attack before the match didn’t wind up amounting to that much. Del Rio vs. Sheamus doesn’t really blow my skirt up but it’s what they’ve wanted to do for months. The interesting thing is Kane vs. Bryan as it looks like that’s what they’re building to. I don’t think Bryan vs. Punk was officially announced but I could easily see it turning into a triple threat. Good main event here.

Sheamus kicks Del Rio’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a much more entertaining episode than last week. It set up a few matches for the PPV and we got the explanation from Big Show that we didn’t have time for on Raw. This show could almost be called a supplement to Monday and in that regard, it was ok. Ryback continues to be awesome and I’m intrigued by where this Bryan thing is going. Much better show this week.

Results
Christian b. Hunico – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Usos – Demolition Decapitator to Jimmy
Ryback b. Brian Edwards/Kevin Bendol – Double MuscleBuster
Santino Marella b. Ricardo Rodriguez – Cobra
Sheamus b. Jack Swagger – Brogue Kick
Damien Sandow b. Yoshi Tatsu – Neckbreaker
Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton and Kane – Del Rio pinned Kane after an RKO from Orton

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It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

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Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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It’s the last Raw before Sunday’s Over The Limit so hopefully we’ll get some Cena tonight to sell the show. That being said, the guy is going through a divorce so I think you have to cut him some slack on how effective he’s going to be out there. We also have Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for Sunday so expect a lot of staring at each other tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH walking through the back. He runs into Ace who says he had nothing to do with Lesnar attacking him. HHH says he’ll respond in front of the world.

Theme song.

Here’s HHH but before he talks we get the video from Raw two weeks ago for the 100th time. HHH says everyone wants to know his thoughts on Lesnar. It’s not the physical part of it because he’s had worse done to him. It’s Lesnar saying that he has to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. A few weeks before that, HHH was going toe to toe with Undertaker in the most watched Wrestlemania of all time.

Lesnar’s arrogance offends all of the greats in WWE history and it offends HHH as a fans. Two weeks ago he was slightly embarrassed because of Lesnar always bailing when he got challenged. HHH saw the potential in Brock back in 2002, but Brock quit in 2004 after someone challenged him, then he quit UFC when he had to fight and now he came back here and went after Cena, who beat him as well.

Cue Heyman and a lawyer. Heyman says that HHH has blown this and that it’s an open and shut case. Lesnar had an agreement with Ace but HHH ripped it up. The lawyer serves HHH with a lawsuit for millions of dollars and Heyman runs his mouth some more. HHH grabs Heyman by the face and says Lesnar will get what he deserves. The Game leaves but Heyman says he’s suing HHH for assault and battery.

We get a recap of Show making fun of Ace last week. He gets Kane tonight as a result.

CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes

Insert Pretender reference here. Punk and Rhodes start things off with Punk taking control. He sends Cody to the floor and Bryan out on top of him. There’s a suicide dive but Santino can’t quite bring himself to do one of his own as we take a break. After an ad for a Raw house show in my town in July, we come back with Rhodes beating up Santino. Off to Bryan who drops a bunch of knees for two.

Bryan throws on an armbar and the beating continues. In a funny bit, Santino dives for the tag but misses. Rhodes laughs but gets shoved off, allowing Santino to make the real tag. Bulldog puts Rhodes down but the GTS is avoided. High Kick puts Rhodes down but Bryan avoids one of his own. He heads to the floor and Cody walks into the GTS for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C-. Everyone here knew that Cody was taking the fall here right? I want to make sure I’ve at least taught you that much. Other than that, the match was just ok. Santino being in there didn’t make a ton of sense but Big Show was busy tonight. I’d have liked more between Bryan and Punk but we had a champion to pin so it was out of the question.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

So Fox is face on here and heel on NXT. Got it. The crowd just goes silent when the bell rings. Layla comes out to watch. Gorilla press and Glam Slam, 1:16.

Alicia is about to get beaten up again but Layla makes the save.

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish work which is cool.

We see the Ace/Show segment again for some reason.

Ryder vs. Kane is the pre-show match for Sunday.

We get ANOTHER clip from last week with Ace saying that it might be Show’s last match in WWE.

Ace and Otunga come out and we take a break, meaning in this TV segment we announced a pre-show match and saw a clip.

Kane vs. Big Show

Show takes it to the mat which gets us nowhere. Kane fires off shoulders in the corner but gets thrown away with ease. The masked man hits a cross body of all things and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with clotheslines and a slam to set up the Vader Bomb Elbow. Not that it matters as Kane moves and goes up top. He jumps into a chokeslam attempt but escapes that too. We head to the floor and Kane gets whipped into the barricade and speared. They get back in and Ace wants an apology right now. That allows Kane to use a choke takedown (looked awful) for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: F. It was awful, it was slow, the ending SUCKED. What more do you want from me here?

Ace says Show has to apologize or he’s fired. Show says he’s accomplished everything and he can walk away. But he still loves what he does and he doesn’t want to be fired. If it means being fined or never getting a title match again, then so be it but don’t take away what he loves. If the imitation offended Ace, then he’s sorry.

Ace said Show didn’t apologize so Show says it again. Ace wants Show to beg for his job on his knees. Show can’t bring himself to do it and begs from his feet. Ace says he won’t fire him for the sake of business. He leaves but then changes his mind. Show says wait and gets on his knees and apologizes. Ace fires him anyway. Ok the smile on his face helps a bit.

And now for something completely different.

Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Miz/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger start things off and it’s off to Clay very quickly. He throws all three heels down as the champions knock Miz to the floor. We take a break and come back with Truth in a Ziggler chinlock. AW Enterprises (with the possibly now signed Mason Ryan) are watching from a sky box. Miz comes in and gets caught in a neckbreaker. Tag to Kofi who speeds things up as he is known to do. SOS gets two and everything breaks down. Ziggler jumps into a headbutt from Brodus, Kofi gets a GREAT sounding Trouble in Paradise on Miz and the Splash ends Miz at 6:58. Most of that was in a commercial so no rating but this was fine.

Punk is with Alex Riley of all people when AJ comes up. Riley leaves (Punk: “Hey, remember that $50 you owe me!”) and AJ wishes Punk luck on Sunday. He doesn’t want anything to do with the drama that comes with AJ and Bryan. Punk is worried about a setup because AJ is so unstable so he walks away. AJ looks….sad?

Sheamus comes down for commentary for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Orton dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. These breaks during a match are REALLY getting annoying and have been for years. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock. He takes Orton into the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to a surfboard hold but Orton escapes. Backbreaker puts Jericho down but the elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop. Jericho throws Orton into Sheamus but back in Orton loads up the DDT again. Sheamus pulls him to the floor and clotheslines him down for the DQ win for Jericho at 8:40.

Rating: C-. That’s the ending everyone knew was coming and that’s perfectly fine. I’m actually very glad that no one has gotten a clean win over anyone else in this match since the fourway was announced. That’s a big problem they’ve had recently with multi-man matches: someone is always made to look weak beforehand but in this case, that hasn’t happened at all. I think I’m looking forward to this match more than anything else on Sunday.

Orton gets in Sheamus’ face and challenges him to a fight right now which Sheamus is more than happy to accept. Referees break it up.

Post break Orton vs. Sheamus is announced for Friday.

Here’s Ace to push himself vs. Cena tonight. He talks about how everyone that loves Cena is a bad person because their favorite wrestler reflects themselves. Here’s Cena who makes fun of Ace’s voice and runs him down for firing Show. Ace has the gall to call himself a winner so we hear Ace’s resume. His team won at Wrestlemania…..and that’s about it. Punk is still champion and then Lesnar lost and left. That makes him 1-4 and that makes him a loser.

That’s fine because at Over The Limit, Ace is going to lose again. Ace has managed to step on everyone during his tenure on top. Tonight he’s stepped on everyone in the WWE Universe tonight in the name of people power. Instead it should be person power because that’s all that matters to Ace. Cena has a show of hands to see how many people want to punch Ace into the middle of next week. Next question: how many people want to beat up Ace so bad that he squeals like a baby calf? That gets a BIG reaction.

Cena says the reaction is appropriate in Pittsburgh for a few reason. First up is the Steel Curtain (The Steelers’ defense from the 70s) which is famous for destroying people, which is what Cena is going to do to Ace on Sunday. The other reason is the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ace says that he was going to use the Penguins later in the promo but Cena stole it. Ace tries to talk but Cena keeps calling him a loser. The boss calls the Penguins losers so Cena pulls out a hockey puck and says go puck yourself.

Ace says that he’s taller and better looking than Cena which must bother him. Cue Eve with a paper as he’s talking. She has something to tell him but he won’t listen to her. Finally she gets his attention and hands him the paper which he stops to read. Cena steals it from him (ripping it in half in the process) and says it’s from the board of directors. The match will be one on one with no special referee and no one allowed at ringside. You have to win by pin or submission and anyone who interferes is immediately fired. Oh and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Cena’s music plays but he stops it because Cole mentioned a major announce

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty easily the worst Raw in months and probably the worst this year. With two WAY too long segments that end in some legal or administrative decision, it was a hard show to sit through for the first hour. The lack of Cena until the very end didn’t help things either. I’m looking forward to the fourway on Sunday and Punk vs. Bryan (which got almost zero setup tonight) but other than that it’s a filler show. Terrible Raw tonight.

Results
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz – Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Remember to like this on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

We’ve got two shows before Over the Limit and after Raw we have a fatal fourway main event instead of just Sheamus vs. Del Rio which should be a big upgrade over the singles match. Other than that we have very little set up for the PPV on the blue side. The show is going to be a filler show so it doesn’t really need to be that set up. I’m sure we’ll get Show vs. Rhodes again too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the Raw tag match and the post match brawl/announcement in the back.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

No car for Del Rio this time. Orton and Jericho get things going. Randy takes him down with a shoulder block and slaps Sheamus on the shoulder to tag him in. Sheamus clotheslines Jericho down and brings Randy back in with a hearty slap on the arm. Off to Del Rio who gets taken down but the knee drop misses. Alberto goes for the arm and drops some knees on it.

Randy gets in a boot as the announcers say there’s no point in trying to predict the fourway. Tag to Sheamus who hits the Regal Roll for two. Jericho low bridges Sheamus to send him to the floor and gets in a shot to the injured shoulder. Jericho comes in legally and puts on a modified Fujiwara armbar.

To give you an idea of the commentary I have to listen to here, this exchange happens: Josh: “I know you can’t predict a winner in the fatal fourway but will Sheamus retain?” Michael: “I don’t think so because it’s almost mathematically impossible. He only has a 25% chance.” After that butchering of both logic and math, Sheamus hits Jericho with the ax handle and tags in Orton. RKO is countered but a dropkick gets two for Orton. Everything breaks down and the referee calls for the bell after about four seconds for the double DQ at 5:19.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t really a match but rather just a backdrop for the double DQ ending. That’s probably a good thing too as there’s no need to have anyone look better or weaker before the PPV. It was just a basic main event style tag match until then and at least we didn’t have to wait long before it got thrown out.

Post break we’re told that it’s Del Rio vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Jericho later.

AJ vs. Kaitlyn

AJ takes her down immediately and then does it again. She dropkicks the knee and hits a running knee to the head for the pin at 35 seconds.

Post match AJ goes after Kaitlyn again but here’s Daniel Bryan. He says he’s impressed by her ruthlessness and AJ looks like a little lost puppy. Bryan sees her in a new light and is willing to move past all the angst they’ve had. After he becomes WWE Champion at Over the Limit he’s looking forward to moving on. AJ looks at him and Bryan nods, but Bryan says he’s looking forward to moving on to Kaitlyn. AJ looks completely psychotic and leaves.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Show corners him and chops the chest. Bryan goes for the knee but it doesn’t do much good. Show chops him again but Bryan manages to take him down with a middle rope dropkick. He hooks the YES Lock….and there’s the bell at 1:28. Ace pops up at the timekeeper’s table and says Bryan wins by submission.

Ace makes Show apologize again and Show is humiliated again. Ace says that on Monday Show better give him a real apology. Way to emasculate the good guys WWE! As Ace is leaving he says that at Extreme Rules, Lesnar destroyed Cena and revolutionized the WWE. In nine nights, he’s going to beat Cena and shake the WWE to its foundation.

Heath Slater is in the ring and says that his opponent looks like a caveman with a pea sized brain. The guy he’s facing tonight hasn’t beaten anyone like the One Man Southern Rock Band. Again, WHAT DOES THAT NAME MEAN???

Ryback vs. Heath Slater

Slater actually gets in some offense but before I can make an NXT joke, it’s powerslam, clothesline and MuscleBuster at 1:15 for Ryback’s latest win.

Teddy Long is guest ring announcer for the next match.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Alex Riley

Teddy has to run off a long list of names for Cesaro such as the Swiss Sensation, His Opponent’s Plight and Aksana’s Delight. Cesaro hits a big boot in the corner and a gutwrench suplex. Riley gets in some jobber offense but the spinebuster is broken up. The European Uppercut sets up that Gotch whatever move for the pin at 2:23.

Post match Aksana reminds Teddy they were just friends but Cesaro is her lover. They kiss and Teddy wants to cry.

Video on Cena’s work with Make-A-Wish, which he wrote an article for USA Today about. Love him or hate him, that’s awesome stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

The entrances are cut for some reason. Del Rio controls to start but Orton comes back and hits the slingshot into the bottom rope for two. Alberto drapes the arm over the top rope to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two and it’s off to an armbar. Orton gets up and powerslams Alberto but the elevated DDT is countered. He sends Orton to the apron and hits an enziguri for two.

Orton comes back again with the backbreaker but Del Rio kicks him in the arm. Codebreaker to the arm puts Orton down and he loads up the armbreaker, but Orton kicks him off. Elevated DDT from the top rope hits but Ricardo is on the top rope. He jumps right into an RKO which is good for the DQ at 5:22.

Rating: C. I liked this. The story of Orton using his usual stuff to counteract all of the arm work was working for me and even though there was no way Orton would ever tap to the hold, it was interesting watching him counter all that stuff. Then again I’m an Orton fan so that probably has a lot to do with it. Also anyone jumping into an RKO is cool to see.

Del Rio puts Orton’s shoulder into the post and hooks the armbreaker post match.

R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

This is due to the tag title match that was set up for the PPV. Truth quickly takes over and hits a dancing legdrop for one. AW and company are watching in the back. Mason Ryan is with them now. Swagger comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. He hits Truth’s back a few times but Truth comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Swagger tries another wheelbarrow suplex but Truth rolls him up for two. Dolph trips up Truth and gets punched and kicked by the champions. Swagger jumps Truth on the floor but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise. That lets the Little Jimmy get the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. Another short match in an annoying series of them tonight. This is your usual formula to set up a tag team title match and I still have yet to find anyone that cares about this match and feud at all. This match was just ok at best but again, with only three and a half minutes to work with, there’s only so much they could do.

We get a piece of the Cena sitdown interview from Monday.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young

Ryder doesn’t even get an entrance anymore. Titus runs Santino over to start and slams him down. Off to Young who hits a neckbreaker and belly to back suplex. Titus suplexes Young onto Santino and it’s off to a Darren chinlock. Santino escapes and tags in Ryder who speeds things up. He hits his usual stuff and the Broski Boot gets two on Darren. Rough Ryder is broken up by Titus and Santino gets clotheslined down while he loads up the Cobra. Young knocks Ryder off the ropes and the Demolition Decapitator (called the Ghetto Blaster) gets the pin at 2:59.

Titus makes Lillian announce the winners again. They say they’ll be the new champions and make millions.

Damien Sandow says he knows his message is going over everyone’s heads but they have no one to look up to. He’ll be the sword of taste and decency, which concludes the interview. You’re welcome.

Brodus Clay vs. Hunico

Hunico and Camacho jump Brodus before the bell. Camacho is thrown out and Brodus starts smiling. There’s the bell and the beating begins. Suplex and splash end this at 54 seconds.

Post match it’s time to dance.

Video on HHH being attacked by Lesnar and Heyman returning to announce Brock quitting on Monday.

Chris Jericho vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes him into the corner to start and uses the power to control. Jericho misses a charge into the corner and Sheamus knocks him off the apron into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the slingshot shoulder block for two. Out to the apron and Sheamus tries to suplex him to the floor, but Jericho drapes the arm over the top rope to take over.

Sheamus’ arm goes into the post and Jericho puts on an armbar back in the ring. The champ fights up but Jericho dropkicks him down. That gets him nowhere as Sheamus makes his comeback. That gets countered also but the Walls are countered. Irish Curse is broken up as is the Regal Roll. The Walls go on but Sheamus is too close to the ropes. He sends Jericho to the floor where Del Rio pops in and sends Jericho into the steps for the DQ at 5:45 shown of 9:15.

Rating: C. Just like last time this was a pretty decent match for the most part as the two of them had chemistry, but I’d like to talk for a minute about psychology. Sheamus has a bad arm, Jericho worked on the arm all match, and then he tried a back hold. I get that it’s his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the move that makes sense instead of the finisher.

Post match Del Rio puts Sheamus in the armbreaker but Orton comes out for the save. Del Rio takes all three finishers and Orton stares at Sheamus to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a great job at playing up the fourway with only Del Rio looking weak, which more or less guarantees that he’ll be walking out with the title. The short matches were annoying, but they got TEN matches on one show which has to be way up there on the lists of two hour shows. Not a terrible show but it was more for building up later shows than this one, which is annoying but understandable.

Results
Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio went to a double DQ
AJ b. Kaitlyn – Running Knee
Daniel Bryan b. Big Show – YES Lock
Ryback b. Heath Slater – MuscleBuster
Antonio Cesaro b. Alex Riley – Gotch Style Neutralizer
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Little Jimmy
Darren Young/Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Demolition Decapitator to Ryder
Brodus Clay b. Hunico – Splash
Chris Jericho b. Sheamus via DQ when Alberto Del Rio interfered

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This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

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This is the first show after Extreme Rules and Sheamus has retained the title against Daniel Bryan. Other than that there isn’t much other than Orton beating Kane in the falls count anywhere match. Sheamus needs a new challenger now and all signs point to it being Del Rio which is nothing that I’m interested in but this is WWE so who cares? Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is whatever lunkhead turned on the lights in the middle of the Avengers.

Here’s Sheamus to open things up. He says he’s doing what he loves to do: fight. He doesn’t care where he is, because he just loves fighting. Bryan almost tore his shoulder off at Extreme Rules so tonight, Bryan can try to finish it. He was asked if he wanted to fight Bryan, and his answer was YES. Sheamus starts a YES chant and here comes Bryan for a gimmick infringement complaint. Sheamus says YES probably 40 times here, which is probably a record.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

This is non-title I think. Sheamus tries for a headlock as Bryan goes for the arm. Bryan takes it to the mat but Sheamus fires off a punch to break that up. A single arm DDT takes Sheamus down as Booker breaks his vow from a few weeks back and calls him D. Bry. Off to an armbar but Sheamus gets up pretty quickly. He comes with the power and starts pounding Bryan down in the corner. A running knee lift sends Bryan to the floor but Ricardo Rodriguez jumps off the top onto Sheamus for the DQ at 2:48. This was an angle rather than a match.

Del Rio comes in with the cross armbreaker and Bryan throws on the YES Lock to leave Sheamus laying. Bryan yells at Del Rio as referees hold back Sheamus.

After a break Sheamus is getting his arm looked at.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho

Epico, Primo, AW and Rosa watch from the ramp. AW has officially signed the former champs. Truth and Hunico start things off with Hunico slapping Little Jimmy. Is that child abuse? Off to Kofi who comes in off a springboard clothesline for two. Kofi gets sent to the apron and Hunico gets in a shot to send him outside. Camacho gets in a clothesline on the floor and Hunico adds the hilo for two.

Camacho comes in and gets two off a legdrop. Back to Hunico who comes in with a slingshot dropkick to Kofi who is seated in the corner. A monkey flip by Kofi sets up the hot tag and Truth comes in with the pelvic thrusts. Lie Detector gets two on Camacho and everything breaks down. A rana sends Hunico and Kofi to the floor so the Little Jimmy can get the pin at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Nothing tag match but I guess it set up the idea of Primo/Epico continuing the feud with Kofi/Truth. Wait did I just call that a feud? It means that sometime there’s going to be another tag title match and a probably house show program. Can we just look at Rosa some more instead?

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus hits a quick belly to belly suplex for two and runs Swagger over with ease. Ziggler offers a distraction and Jack hits something like a spear to take over. Ziggler tries something off the steps but runs into the headbutt. Back in the ring the suplex looks to set up the splash but Jack rolls to the floor and takes the countout at 1:43.

More annoying kids get to dance with Brodus post match.

Video on the Cena vs. Lesnar match on Sunday. This transitions into the end of Raw where Ace revealed himself as Cena’s next opponent.

Del Rio and Bryan are arguing in the back and Eve has to break it up. Ace is taking a day off for some reason so she and those great glasses of hers are in charge. Bryan wants to continue his match with Sheamus and she says maybe. Eve throws both of them out.

Damien Sandow vs. Derrick Bateman

Sandow comes out to the Hallelujah Chorus and in a Bob Backlund robe and towel. He’s introduced as the Intellectual Savior of the Masses. Sandow says that he won’t do anything here tonight because it won’t teach the masses anything, so he’s out of here.

Bateman wants the match he earned the right to on NXT. We have a replacement for him.

Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman

Ryback has some pyro now. Booker thinks of Devastation Inc. when he looks at Ryback. There’s a stable I never want to think of again. Big boot, Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder, clothesline, MuscleBuster, 1:11.

Kane/Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton/Big Show

Cody and Randy get us going. Cody goes into the buckle quickly and cowers away from Show. The big bald comes in to crush Cody in the corner and brings back Randy. A knee drop gets two as does a dropkick. Off to Kane for a slugout with Orton and the Viper is in trouble. Kane sends him into the corner and it’s off to Big Show. He comes in with a spear to Kane and takes down Cody as well.

Kane gets a DDT to Big Show and we take a break. Back with Cody stomping on the former champion and then tagging Kane back in. The low dropkick gets two and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with a belly to back suplex and it’s the hot (I guess?) tag to Orton. He powerslams Cody but Kane breaks up the elevated DDT.

Instead it’s the Big Fried Freak taking the DDT and Randy sets up the RKO. Kane shoves him off and Cody low bridges Orton to the floor. Kane follows him out and hits a big boot which gets two. Back to Rhodes for some knee drops and a dropkick for two. Kane comes in again and walks into the backbreaker.

A clothesline breaks up the hot tag and the champ is in again. Cody hooks a quick chinlock and tries Cross Rhodes but Orton shoves him off. There’s the tag to Big Show who cleans house. Kane breaks up the chokeslam with the top rope clothesline but Orton hits an RKO on the masked one. WMD gets the pin on Rhodes at 10:47 shown of 14:17.

Rating: C. Just a run of the mill tag match here which didn’t really change anything. The champion gets pinned by the same guy that has beaten him on multiple occasions already so Rhodes looks even weaker. Orton and Kane would seem to be through but they keep at it here again. There might be a match at Over the Limit but Orton has already won two matches against him so I don’t know if I’d get the point.

Post match we’re told that Big Show will get his rematches at live events this weekend. There’s a rarity.

Sheamus is taped up and says he’s fighting tonight.

Layla vs. Natalya

They go to the mat and it’s a standoff. Natalya works on the arm and hits a discus lariat for two. Abdominal stretch goes on but Layla gets a sweet rolling counter for two. Layout ends this quickly at 1:58. Layla is more interesting than most of the other girls but giving her two minutes a night isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.

Antonio Cesaro and Aksana are taking publicity photos in the back under Eve’s supervision. She thinks Antonio needs oil and makes Teddy put it on. Teddy says no but does it eventually.

Alicia and Kaitlyn are standing around doing nothing when AJ comes up. Alicia leaves and AJ asks for Kaitlyn’s forgiveness. Kaitlyn says she felt betrayed and was just trying to be her friend. She tells AJ to stop feeling sorry for herself and earns another slap.

Raw ReBound is about HHH vs. Lesnar.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Del Rio is on commentary. Sheamus’ shoulder is taped up. There sure are a lot of arm injuries floating around this company lately. Sheamus basically has to fight from his right side here. He shoves Bryan down and fires off some elbows in the corner. Bryan comes back with a kick to the shoulder to take control. Sheamus keeps trying to play defense so Bryan keeps going for the arm.

Sheamus manages a tilt-a-whirl slam but the Brogue Kick is ducked and he falls to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bryan hitting the running knee off the apron. Back inside Bryan ties the arm up in the ropes and kicks Sheamus down to the floor. The shoulder goes into the post and back inside a Swan Dive to the shoulder gets two. The tape is ripped off now and Sheamus is in trouble.

Bryan drives knees into the shoulder and hooks both arms on the mat. The champ tries to fire off some elbows to the head but can’t break through. Bryan goes to send him into the post but Sheamus reverses to send Bryan’s shoulder in and give himself a breather. Here are the forearms to the chest and a suplex back in gets two. Bryan charges into the Irish Curse with the left (the bad) arm for two.

Sheamus goes after Daniel but gets his arm draped over the rope. A missile dropkick gets two and Bryan is frustrated. Sheamus hits the double ax out of nowhere and loads up the Cross but here’s Del Rio for a distraction. He doesn’t interfere though so it isn’t a DQ. Bryan tries to sneak in the YES Lock but Sheamus shoves him into Del Rio. Sheamus sends Alberto to the floor and Bryan goes up. That goes badly though as he dives into the Brogue Kick (most of one at least) for the pin at 9:25 shown of 12:55.

Rating: B-. This was a different kind of match than Sunday but it was still good. I don’t get the point in having Bryan get beaten again when you had Del Rio interfering already. Just go with the DQ and set up the next title feud that way instead of taking away some of Bryan’s momentum. Still though, another good match between these two who have good chemistry.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all about transitioning over to Sheamus vs. Del Rio and that worked to a degree. At the same time though, they did it at the expense of Bryan who is going to be getting a world title match at the PPV so that wasn’t the best idea. Other than that though, nothing really happened on this show. Nothing was bad and the tag match was ok, but it’s pretty much a forgettable show other than the main event stuff, which is ok.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Hunico/Camacho – Little Jimmy to Camacho
Brodus Clay b. Jack Swagger via countout
Ryback b. Derrick Bateman – MuscleBuster
Randy Orton/Big Show b. Cody Rhodes/Kane – WMD to Rhodes
Layla b. Natalya – Layout
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

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