Smackdown – September 23, 2011 – Blood Blood Everywhere and Every Drop is Censored

Smackdown
Date: September 23, 2011
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We’re in the Mark Henry Era here on Smackdown which is still weird to hear. It’s 9 days before Hell in a Cell which is still stupid to hear as we’re five days past the previous PPV. Orton has already said he’s cashing in his rematch in the Cell which is a stretch but it’s the only match they have given the circumstances. There isn’t much else to say about this show so let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is rain when you’re supposed to be having a vacation.

We open with everyone at ringside and Johnny Ace in the ring, drawing a lot of boos. HHH isn’t here tonight so he’s brought out everyone to talk about the issues HHH has caused. He mentions the firings and says that he’s changed his mind and HHH hasn’t lost control. On Monday he saw determination in HHH’s eyes so everything is cool. HHH will be here later.

Ace brings out Henry. Henry says it took him 15 years to win the title and he’s not going to lose it for 15 more years. He calls out various people for not believing in him and here’s HHH. Nice to see that they let Ace have a full assembly since HHH was five minutes late. Henry won’t shake HHH’s hand. Well to be fair he has the mic in one hand and the belt in the other. He does hand the boss the mic though.

Before the Game can say anything, here’s Christian to interrupt. I guess he brought his own mic. He sucks up to HHH and says he appreciates how Smackdown has been treated. Christian talks about how he’s more marketable than Henry. He asks if you can picture Henry’s face on a box of cereal. I’d eat that. Christian asks for one more match and says you know who is going to choke in his match.

HHH talks about how he’s in charge in a scary calm voice. Later on tonight there’s going to be a lumberjack match with Christian vs. You Know Who (Voldermort?), presumably for the title with the winner facing Orton at Hell in a Cell. Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Why does the champion have to qualify for the title match at the PPV? HHH leaves and Henry gets in Christian’s face, sending the Canadian scampering.

Sheamus vs. Heath Slater

Cole calls it Ronald McDonald vs. the girl from Wendy’s. My money is on the Burger King in a run-in. Sheamus pounds him down and hits those forearms to the chest in the ropes to a nice reaction. Slater fires back with a neckbreaker for two and pounds away a bit. He slaps Sheamus in the back of the head and I’ll give you two guesses as to what happens next. Powerslam, top rope shoulder, Brogue Kick, 4:32.

Rating: C. Just a squash here but Slater’s selling made up for some of the boring factors of it. Sheamus might be the next challenger for Henry which could be interesting as the big brawls they have haven’t had a clean winner either time so it might be worth watching. Slater is officially a jobber to the stars and that’s what he’s best at.

Christian tries to get Khali’s help in the title match later. After a big rant about how Khali would want to face a small person, Khali’s response is “you are small.”

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

Booker calls Barrett a British nobleman and a former bare knuckle pugilist. Barrett beats Gabriel down quickly and the fans are almost silent. Gabriel avoids and shot and we head to the floor with Gabriel hitting a pretty sweet front flip dive over the top to take out Barrett. The kicks take Barrett down but he breaks up the 450 and Wasteland ends this at 2:32. That wasn’t quite a squash but it was a pretty quick pin for Barrett.

Orton vs. Rhodes tonight….again.

Orton says he doesn’t want to comment about Rhodes. He talks about where he’s in 9 days and when he comes back, he’ll have the World Heavyweight Championship.

Video on how evil the Cell is.

Christian tries to recruit Big Zeke and insults him. Just like with Khali, Christian leaves thinking he has a partner.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

I forgot how good looking Kaitlyn can be. She starts with Nattie and this goes badly for Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn gets in a shot to Beth and brings in AJ who does a bit better. Shining Wizard gets two and everything breaks down. Beth is against someone not named Kelly though so the Glam Slam ends this at 2:04. More or less just a squash.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Cody is sent to the floor quickly by a fired up Orton. Orton has a bad left knee but because he’s intelligent, he doesn’t tape it up. Cody goes after it anyway so it wasn’t successful but he tried at least. The knee goes around the post and Rhodes unhooks a buckle. Using the distraction Cody gets in a shot to the head with the mask for two. Orton clocks him with the mask at 3:28 for a DQ, even though it’s been established that the mask is legal.

Rating: C-. Not much to say here as the whole point was for the beatdown that’s coming post match but probably will be edited out. More on that in a minute. The psychology here at least made sense as Rhodes went after the injured body part. It sounds simple but how many people just don’t get that idea? Anyway this was too short to mean much but it wasn’t bad while it lasted.

Post match Orton goes crazy and beats down Cody with his usual stuff. Now what you won’t see is the ending of this beating. Orton pounded away on Cody with the mask and whatever else he could find. He hit Rhodes with the bell, and this was the result:

http://i52.tinypic.com/2mnorj9.jpg

From a friend that was at the show, that was hardway and the announce table was covered in blood.

Christian offers Sheamus a potato because he’s Irish. It’s a peace offering for Sheamus to help him later in the show. Christian offers him the first shot and Sheamus says Christian can count on him. Christian leaves and Sheamus bites into the potato and spits it out, saying it’s from Idaho and not Ireland.

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Khali has the happy music back and gets a decent pop on his entrance. Mahal says lay down and Khali shakes his head no. The Plunge doesn’t work and Mahal gets a DDT to take over. Khali fights back with clotheslines and the Plunge ends this at 2:05. This wasn’t much.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This one has blonde hair so he’s the real one. When they’re near each other, the easiest way to tell is the fake one is taller. They shake hands so it’s pretty clear that he’s a good guy. We talk about how Bryan has fallen off a bit since winning MITB. He grabs a surfboard but Cara makes the rope. An enziguri puts Bryan down and Booker talks about how Cara has black marks on his boots. Josh says Booker said the same thing about the other one last week so Booker is a little confused.

Cara tries a Tajiri elbow and it looks like it’s edited for a botch. Out to the floor with Cara hitting a rana off the apron to send Bryan into the steps. Back in and Cara goes up but is shoved off by…Sin Cara. The impostor kicks Bryan in the head and hits a bit Swanton Bomb for the pin at 3:00. That one had more torque on it than any one Jeff Hardy has done in years.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t anything great but some of Cara’s high spots were cool, especially the swanton which was really cool looking. I’m still not sure where Bryan is supposed to go after all this but maybe a heel turn or something is coming up for him. I don’t think he’s holding the case until Mania but it’s a nice thing for a possibility.

Christian knocks on Orton’s door and Ryder comes out. The Canadian tries to recruit Ryder but he says it would be a conflict of interest. Ryder’s phone rings and it’s Hugh Jackman. Orton is in on…something. Christian leaves without knocking again.

Air Boom vs. Usos

Bourne starts with Jey (he has the chest tattoo) but it’s off to Jimmy who hits a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Booker talks about being in Harlem Heat and Bourne gets beaten down as is his custom. Kofi gets the hot tag and hits the top rope chop but Jimmy sends him into the corner. The cross body hits and it’s Trouble in Paradise time. Jey breaks it up, letting Jimmy hit a superkick to put Kofi down. Trouble in Paradise sets up Air Bourne for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue with a pair of high fliers against some Samoans. That’s old school style and it worked fine here. Air Boom is getting some traction and I’m hoping they have a lengthy reign with them. I like the speed teams like them and as odd as it sounds, having a name has helped them a lot. Fun little match and I still don’t get how Kofi can jump that high.

Raw ReBound eats up about three minutes and it’s only about Ryder/Jackman/Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Mark Henry

This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. At least two of the NXT rookies are at ringside plus Watson. Make that all three of them are there. Henry looks sad during Big Match Intros. The bell rings after a break and Christian wants to run but doesn’t want to run at O’Neil, Kingston and Bryan. Christian can’t do anything with Henry so Mark throws him to the floor. Big Zeke says for everyone to stay back then knees Christian in the ribs.

Henry throws Christian into the air like on a backdrop but lets Christian crash down. Off to the nerve hold and then a bear hug. Christian pounds away with all of the offense he can get in, culminating in a middle rope dropkick to put Henry down. He shoves Christian off with ease and Christian is scared. Killswitch is broken up and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner but Henry drops down, only to hit mat. They head to the floor and Henry shoves all the faces around when they jump on him. Christian tries to run but Sheamus pops up to throw him back in for the World’s Strongest Slam to end things at 6:19.

Rating: C+. I know I’ve used that grade a lot tonight but this was the kind of win Henry needed: Christian isn’t losing anything here and Henry looks dominant going into the Cell with his first successful title defense. I have no idea what the point of the lumberjacks were here and Sheamus tossing him back in could have worked fine in a regular match. Good logic here though.

Post match Orton comes out to fight Henry and dropkicks him to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. With eight matches on a show and nothing being bad plus almost everything having a purpose, it’s hard to say this wasn’t at least a good show. It’s not a great show or anything but for a period where almost everything is a transitional show towards the HIAC PPV, that’s all you can do really. This was a good show, but having two weeks to set up a PPV is way too short, especially with not a ton of time to set up the last one.

Results
Sheamus b. Heath Slater – Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett b. Justin Gabriel – Wasteland
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. AJ/Kaitlyn – Glam Slam to AJ
Cody Rhodes b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton hit Rhodes with the mask
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Swanton Bomb
Air Boom b. The Usos – Air Bourne to Jey
Mark Henry b. Christian – World’s Strongest Slam




Night of Champions 2011 – Henry…Wins?

Night Of Champions 2011
Date: September 18, 2011
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

This show is an interesting one as you don’t really need much in terms of backstory for a lot of the matches. Most of them are there because we need title matches. However, the Raw title match is one of the least interesting feuds and title matches I’ve seen in a very long time. I just don’t care about why this match is taking place and there’s not much heat built up between the two guys. The main event is likely Punk vs. HHH with the Game’s job on the line. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about champions. Oh and HHH and Punk who aren’t champions but are going to be in the main event tonight.

I love those banners with the titles hanging from the ceiling by the entrance. They’re cool looking.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Awesome Truth

Works for an opener. There’s some new referee and Kofi vs. Miz starts us off. Miz tries to be all aggressive but that’s not his thing at all. A big forearm puts him down and it’s off to Bourne. The champs are moving fast tonight. Off to Truth and everything breaks down. The champs hit stereo dives off the top to pop the crowd. That’s why you have high flying tag champions.

Back inside and it’s Bourne vs. Truth which didn’t go well for Mailbox Man on Friday. It’s time for Bourne to play face in peril and he does it well, getting double teamed by Miz and then getting taken down almost immediately after Miz breaks up a tag. Miz hammers away a bit but Bourne gets in a kick to the head after breaking a way too early Finale attempt.

Hot tag to Kofi who doesn’t resemble Robert Gibson but he cleans house anyway. Boom Drop is broken up by Truth but he gets sent to the floor quickly. SOS gets two on Miz. I’d like to see that move be brought back more often. Miz grabs a short DDT for two and there’s no referee because of Truth. Bourne makes a fake tag and tries Air Bourne but Miz moves. The idea is the referee is an idiot. DDT gets two on Bourne and there’s a blind tag by the challengers but THIS doesn’t count. Finale hits Bourne but Truth has the referee again. Miz is so ticked off that he shoves the referee and we’re done at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Fun match as they were all moving out there. I like the actual proof of the conspiracy and it might come back later on. Also it’s good to not give them the titles just yet as the champions need a bit more resume building stuff as they haven’t really beaten anyone yet other than the former Nexus team who got beat by Ryder and Lawler a few weeks ago. Fun opener.

Miz and Truth yell about the Conspiracy post match and down goes the referee.

Miz and Truth yell at Striker about the Conspiracy and threats against HHH are made. End of show shenanigans?

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase

This was set up quickly on Smackdown or maybe after it so it’s not like this means much. DiBiase shoves him to the corner and that gets him nowhere. A pair of kicks, one of the drop variety, gets a pair of two counts. After being slapped, DiBiase tries to channel his inner Austin with a Thesz Press and right hands but that just isn’t him. Back up and Ted is back down with the Beautiful Disaster.

Rhodes takes over with his basic strike stuff, working on the ribs and the face. Camel clutch goes to an abdominal stretch on the mat as I guess he’s working on the ribs, despite having a neckbreaker style finsiher. We get a test of strength of all things which doesn’t go to anyone in particular. Another dropkick by DiBiase misses and it’s back to the abs which doesn’t work as well this time.

A third version of it is back on the mat as Rhodes really likes DiBiase’s abs I guess. After a few more seconds it’s a spinebuster by DiBiase to plant Rhodes. There’s not much to say as the feud here is kind of vague and not really developed at all. The Beautiful Disaster Part 2 The Return/Revenge/other cliched sequel titles is countered by another dropkick (can DiBiase do anything else?) and they go to the corner. Rhodes uses the mask headbutt but is pulled back down and unmasked. He swings it at Cody but is caught in a rollup with tights for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this should have been on Smackdown rather than a PPV. There’s no real reason to see these two fight but they’re trying at the same time I guess. DiBiase has nothing to do here and Rhodes is REALLY needing an opponent as the midcard face pool is pretty weak. Bryan is too big for it and that’s about it. Not good but it means he’ll have the title for awhile.

Here’s Christian to want ONE MORE MATCH and he wants it after Henry vs. Orton tonight. He makes fun of Buffalo for never winning a major sports title (heat as old as time) and then asks the fans to chant one more match. They actually do but here’s Sheamus. Christian is a weasel and here’s some more Irish jibber jabber. Sheamus says if Christian gets one more match, Sheamus wants the first shot. The fans chant one more match and Christian’s head winds up in the front row via a Brogue Kick. Simple but effective as usual.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison vs. Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

No tagging here thank goodness. They pair off but it’s down to Riley vs. Swagger quickly. Riley gets a Rock Bottom for two. It’s one of those matches where some people stay in the ring and others chill on the floor. Riley is knocked off the apron and may be injured. It’s Morrison vs. Swagger in the ring at the moment and scratch Morrison from that list. Now we get the potential Team Vickie showdown which Vickie is MAD about.

Swagger sends him to the floor and Riley isn’t hurt I guess as he comes back in and hits a TKO for two. Vickie breaks up the pin and Ziggler yells at her for it. Morrison hits that same kick that Cody uses for two. Fameasser gets two on Morrison. This is hard to keep track of. They’re sticking around with Morrison vs. Ziggler for awhile and Johnny is trying something to Dolph who is sitting on the top. Here’s your WHAT WAS THAT spot from Morrison.

He gets caught in the Tree of Woe with Ziggler sitting on the top. Riley goes up to try something on Dolph but Morrison does a power situp and Germans him off the top. Swagger comes in with a suplex and everyone is in now. Morrison hits the standing C4 for two on Riley. He loads up the Starship but Riley moves.

Swagger grabs the ankle lock on Riley but Ziggler has Morrison in the sleeper. Both holds are broken and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for a VERY close two. Jack grabs Riley’s ankle again and Riley takes a low blow. Morrison comes in but walks into the gutwrench powerbomb and Ziggler steals the pin to retain the title at 8:30.

Rating: B-. I liked this one as the false finishes were great. It’s pretty clear they’re setting up for the Swagger vs. Ziggler feud over whose double G’s are harder to pronounce. This was fine though and a good way to push Ziggler stronger as a heel who is stealing the title. I liked it and I’m not usually a fan of multi-man matches.

Henry says he has 15 years of hatred built up. I think he means cholesterol built up but whatever. He wants Josh to come out and interview him when he wins the title.

Vickie is happy and says she’s seen her future. Everyone wants to work for her and her talent has been recognized and things are about to happen. She wants to be the new COO if HHH loses.

Hell in a Cell is in two weeks. Give me a break.

Another Henry video which we’ve seen a dozen versions of over the last few weeks.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. According to Booker the WCW Title and the WHC have the same lineage. Orton fires away at him and manages to get him down, setting up the Orton Stomp. The knee drop ticks Henry off but he jumps to the left (Time Warp?) and sends Henry to the floor where he’s all ticked off. Back in HENRY GOES GYMNAST with a big boot to the head. That was impressive.

Orton grabs a sleeper which wouldn’t be a bad idea IF EVERYONE DIDN’T USE IT ON BIG MEN. Naturally it doesn’t work here either and Orton is put on the top rope. Henry clocks him upside the head and Henry takes over on the floor. With Orton’s body wrapped around the post, Henry pulls back to injure the back and to draw a Gumby reference. I didn’t expect one of those but Cole played the Gumby card.

Henry stands on Orton’s back with no rope support. FREAKING OW MAN!!! The big splash only gets two and then another two off a not very serious cover. Henry is toying with him here but Orton gets up for a second. He’s not up for two seconds as Henry takes him down and chokes a bit. Orton hammers away with his two kinds of strikes. Henry takes him down but the second splash misses and here comes Randy.

Orton fires off a bunch of punches in the corner and Henry is in trouble. The clotheslines don’t work and Henry isn’t sure what to do. There’s a dropkick and Henry heads to the apron. He puts himself in elevated DDT position but Henry fires back with a headbutt. This has been good so far. There’s the World’s Strongest Slam for two and Henry is ticked off. Henry sets for a Vader Bomb but Orton moves.

He goes after the knee and hits a DDT to take Henry down. It’s RKO time but Henry rolls to the apron. This time the DDT works and I think the tides just shifted. It’s only two though because that’s not his finisher and Henry grabs the rope instead. Henry pulls a Bret Hart and plays possum so he can get a shot to the leg in and Orton is slowed down. Now he’s looking at him like a plate of shrimp puffs. Orton gets up and pulls himself up with Henry’s singlet and tries an RKO. That gets countered and the RKO makes Henry the champion at 13:11. It had to happen someday.

Rating: B. I can’t believe it but I’m ok with this. They built this guy up over the summer and then gave him the title. It’s about time as he was pushed for years on and off and just never got there. This is the right time though and we need some fresh heel blood on Smackdown. Good moment here and something that Henry deserves, which I can’t believe I’m saying but it’s true.

Henry says he’s never going to lose the title.

Del Rio isn’t happy with Johnny Ace about having to team with Ricardo on Monday but Ace says that it was HHH’s move. He wants more respect (Alberto) and Ace says he’ll get it. Team Mexico leaves and here’s Punk. Ace wishes him good luck and Punk turns that around, implying Ace means good luck in your future endeavors.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

The fans are totally behind Beth and the power is too much for Kelly to start us off. The fans say she sucks, and I’m sure she does. Kelly gets in a few shots but the power is still too much for her. There’s not much to say here as it’s almost all dominance. Kelly gets in a bulldog to break things up and is booed out of the building. Eve and Nattie get into it outside and Kelly is beaten down again.

Kelly grabs a small package (isn’t that how she got this job?) for two but the K2 is blocked and Beth takes her head off with a clothesline. Kelly is put on the top rope and gets killed by a superplex. Both chicks are down though as you would expect. That only gets two for Beth and it’s Glam Slam time. In the EXACT same finish from Summerslam, Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:47. Give me a break.

Rating: C-. The superplex was awesome but the ending being EXACTLY the same thing as Summerslam makes it look pretty freaking stupid. Kelly getting booed out of the building on the pin is funny stuff and it’s definitely a good sign, even though it’s the hometown pop more than anything else. Not a good match but for the Divas it’s not all that bad.

We get a really good video package on the history of the WWE Title and all the champions (ok not all) over the years. Cool stuff.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Del Rio isn’t in his car and is in blue tights. Cena has the car, appearing to be a Ferrari, much to Del Rio’s dismay. Alberto wants Ricardo to do his Big Match Intro as he wants the accent right. Cena does his own intro, adding in a bunch of nicknames like the Fighting Fruity Pebble and rubbing in that Del Rio thinks he’s better than everyone. Slow feeling out process to start without much happening for the first few minutes.

Ricardo trips Cena and is tossed out like an illegal Mexican alien. Del Rio gets a kick in to the ribs and works on the back. This is a rather boring match so far but maybe they’re going for the slow build. Del Rio works on the back with various offense and works on the back even more. The first almost eight minutes of this have been pretty basic but they’re going for a slow build…I think.

Cena gets in a shot to break up the momentum and is greeted with a You Can’t Wrestle chant. Double clothesline puts both guys down. Del Rio kicks away and puts Cena on the floor with a right hand. Johnny fires back for a bit but can’t get over Del Rio’s offense. Cena finally takes him down and starts up his ending sequence with the shoulders and You Can’t See Me but the AA doesn’t work that fast of course.

Del Rio counters with a backstabber of all things for two. The cross armbreaker is broken up and Cena gets a dropkick for two. Cena loads up the top rope legdrop but Alberto hits the running enziguri for two. This is getting better. Cena gets a boot up in the corner and tries the STF but can’t hook it. Tilt-a-whirl gets two for Del Rio. He puts Cena on the top rope and pulls him into the Tree of Woe. Alberto tries a spear but Cena sits up to send Del Rio’s shoulder into the post with a SICK crunch.

Now the top rope legdrop hits for two. Alberto gets out of the AA again and the Mexican hits a German on the American for two. Del Rio goes up and hits a senton backsplash for two and there’s the armbreaker but it’s not on full. Cena rolls over and pulls him up into a powerbomb sort of move for two. While we’re watching the replay Cena hits an AA and here’s Ricardo. Cena hooks the STF and I don’t think the knee bends that way. Alberto taps to give Cena title #948 at 18:37.

Rating: B. Well it got better as it went to say the least but Cena just wins the title again? It’s just kind of there and makes Alberto look weak, which he already did during the title reign. I mean, points for staying in the STF for that long but why did they change the title that fast? Oh, because we need a HIAC match for the title next month and Alberto wouldn’t be much in there. Good to see the calendar screwing over the booking again.

Cole’s voice is wearing out.

Now we recap the non-title match which is the main event of a show about titles. So there’s a huge ordeal about the text that someone might have sent and Nash wants Punk but Nash is fired and sent himself the text and it doesn’t make sense but I’m sure we’re supposed to keep watching or whatever. This takes awhile and if you don’t know it, go read my Raw recaps.

HHH vs. CM Punk

Punk has a shirt with a WWE Ice Cream Bar on it. I could really go for one of those. This is no DQ/no holds barred. Punk jumps him on the floor and the brawl starts out there. They go over to the table and the announcers aren’t sure if they’re on or not. Ok into the ring now and the banana trunk wearing Punk fires off some kicks, countered by good old right hands.

Pedigree is countered and HHH sends Punk to the floor. This has been mostly HHH but it’s definitely not domination. Cole is saying about one line a minute as his voice is gone. Back on the floor now with HHH sending the knee (not the side of the leg, the kneecap) into the post. Punk fires back, bouncing off the railing and hitting a knee to the head of HHH up against the post.

HHH is like PUNK YOU and throws him through the barricade out into the crowd. He’s all fired up and yelling about Stephanie. This brutality is working better than I thought it would. They fight deeper into the fans and Punk grabs a trashcan to throw at the Game’s head. They’re up by the stage now and HHH sends him chest first into the set. They go onto the stage but HHH can’t hook the Pedigree.

Punk throws him off the stage and dives down to drill him. This isn’t falls count anywhere I don’t think. Punk rams the head of the COO into the set and is in control. They’re back at the ring now and Punk pulls out a trashcan. He drops that and shifts to a chair instead, popping the Game in the back a few times for two. HHH grabs a spinebuster and sends Punk into the chair that Punk wedged between the top and middle ropes.

HHH clips Punk and then puts the legs around the post. He grabs the chair from earlier and slams it into the knee into the post. He’s cerebral here so taking out the knees takes away the kicks and the GTS. Punk channels the power of Chicago and sends him into the steps. This has been a solid brawl so far. HHH grabs a monitor but Punk kicks him with the good leg. I’ve never gotten how that works. Wouldn’t he want to stand on the good leg?

In the big spot of the match, HHH is put on the table and Punk drops the Macho elbow through the Game and the Dudleyville special, killing both guys. They both crawl back to the ring and we get a cool replay from the crowd so you only see Punk flying and not the impact on HHH. Lawler: “That was Savage.”

Both guys get back in the ring and Miz/Truth come out to beat down both guys. SWEET! We’re actually getting some stuff from earlier in the show playing through to the end! They lay out both guys and put Punk’s arm on HHH but it only gets two. It’s No DQ so this is fine. Awesome Truth calls Conspiracy on the count and takes down that annoying referee Scott Armstrong. Get out of the ring and take your hitched count with you!

Here’s Johnny Ace who waves down someone but Punk is back up. He takes down Truth (sending him to the floor and right onto Armstrong) but walks into a Pedigree…with no referee. Ace tries to get a referee in but the guy is out. A second referee is here checking on Armstrong but HHH walks into the GTS. Now the referee is back in (thanks to Ace) but Truth breaks up the pin. GTS to Truth as this is getting awesome. Scratch that, it’s been awesome (truthfully).

Punk tries his springboard clothesline but jumps into a Pedigree….FOR TWO. I would have bet on that being the finish. And of course here’s Nash through the crowd. Good thing the camera was waiting on him to come in. He takes out both guys but is beating on the Game more than on Punk. He sets for the Jackknife but Punk saves HHH. Now he (Punk) takes the Jackknife but Nash drills HHH on the floor. He loads up the announce table but HHH is up with a sledgehammer to take Nash out. Back in now and ANOTHER Pedigree finally ends this at 24:09.

Rating: B+. This was one of those matches that was so insane but for the most part it made sense. Miz and Truth coming in is a great thing and I don’t think anyone really thought Punk was going to win at the end of the day. I liked it and the kickout of the Pedigree shocked me. The whole thing was a fun brawl on top of that and the ending wasn’t exactly what I was expecting (the buildup to it, not the ending itself) and it was great all around. Very good stuff.

Overall Rating: B+. Pretty entertaining show overall with the big match being great and a nice surprise in Henry winning (what am I saying???) plus good stuff with Alberto vs. Cena, odd booking aside. The Conspiracy is a nice touch and the whole thing worked pretty well I though. I had fun with this show and I wasn’t really looking forward to it otherwise. Good stuff here and a fun PPV.

Results
Air Boom b. Awesome Truth via DQ when Miz shoved the refereeing
Cody Rhodes b. Ted DiBiase – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler b. John Morrison, Alex Riley and Jack Swagger – Pinned Morrison after a powerbomb from Swagger
Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World’s Strongest Slam
Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll
John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – STF
HHH b. CM Punk – Pedigree




Night of Champions 2009 – Punk At Night Of Champions. I Figure It Fits

Night of Champions 2009
Date: July 26, 2009
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,774
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

So what we have here is Night of Champions where everything on the roster is for a title. Literally, every match is a title match. I think I like that actually. Sure it’s a gimmick show, but at the same time that’s all you need at times. We’ve got a Mania 24 rematch and Punk vs. Hardy for the respective titles. This has been recently dubbed the 5th big one of the year, so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about as basic as you could imagine as almost everything is about being a champion. Why mess with something that simple? It focuses on the two main matches as you would also expect. Norcal was at this show so expect a few lines about him here and there.

Unified Tag Titles: Legacy vs. Chris Jericho/???

So Edge snapped his ankle and has no partner, meaning anyone that’s paid attention for the past few months knows who this is going to be. We get the video of Edge’s injury saying he’ll come back and take care of Jericho. That’s going to be an awesome feud. And it’s the Big Show. No one got this and the rumor was they picked him seconds before with the video being shown to buy them some more time.

There are cool banners with pictures of the belts hanging from them. It looks sweet. Rhodes and Show start us off. Show just beats the heck out of both guys as you would expect. You could bet on Jerishow retaining here even from the perspective of watching it live. In a nice move, Legacy hits a tandem chop block and clothesline. Not bad at all. Rhodes whispers something into the ear of Jericho but he does it just subtly enough that unless you knew to look for it you wouldn’t notice it. Well done.

Rhodes busts out a nice moonsault to Jericho. He’s underrated in the ring as his offense keeps changing up. The problem with this match becomes apparent quickly: Jericho and Show are the default faces even though they’re supposed to be the heels. We hit insane mode and Show puts down both guys and after a Codebreaker, the Colossal Clutch ends it.

Rating: C+. It was fine. That’s the only thing I can think of to say for this one. It was designed to be a pure squash for the new champions to get them over and that’s exactly what it did. Rather boring match but it served its purpose very well.

We go to the back to CM Punk, and it’s promo time. This is the promo that made CM Punk to a lot of people and I remember wanting to jump up and cheer at it. He talks about how the parents letting their children support Jeff Hardy and his drug addicted lifestyle and how eventually they start doing as Jeff does: smoking, drinking, drugs etc., and it all started because the parents wouldn’t take responsibility for their kids. The fans cheering for everything that he lists off is great as this was the perfect crowd to do this in front of.

ECW Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian

Dreamer in ECW wearing the ECW Title is perfect to say the least. And WWE can’t have that, so they have him come out second and have the king of the smarks Christian come out second so that he gets a much bigger pop than Dreamer who has earned 30 seconds of glory. As you know, Christian wins here, which is also ridiculous as it wouldn’t have killed them to do this at TV.

Seriously, let Dreamer have his moment in ECW in Philly. Striker points out that the ECW Title has changed hands a lot in Philly. Thanks for that. I never would have guessed on that one. I love that running rolling flip that Dreamer does. You can see there’s a fairly big lack of psychology here as they’re just kind of walking through spots with little flow to it at all. We hit a sleeper already which isn’t a good sign.

More or less Dreamer is using nothing but jobber offense and signature spots. To be fair though you could argue that those are one in the same. Dreamer hooks a Texas Cloverleaf of all things. We hit an always fun pinfall reversal sequence. They trade finishing holds that are countered until Christian hits the Killswitch for the pin and the championship.

Rating: D+. While I hate Dreamer losing the belt in Philly, he got about two months with it so I can’t argue much on that. Christian has held the belt since this match. That being said, this just wasn’t that good. Dreamer simply isn’t that good in the ring but if nothing else this was just a nostalgic reign for Dreamer so that’s all well and good.

Ad for Summerslam.

Jerishow say they’re going to dominate. Cookie cutter promo if there has ever been one.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. The Miz vs. Primo vs. MVP

Swagger does a little dance on the way to the ring. More or less it was a given that someone was going to take the title from Kofi here. I think Carlito’s mustache has its own population. Miz gets a NICE pop. Primo is replacing Big Show who was supposed to be in here. And there are no tags here. That rarely makes things any better or easier to call at all. Hey, did you know Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title?

I didn’t know if it was made clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. I want to make it clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. It’s just a massive mess as everyone is trying to get a spot in there where they can. Also there are a lot of guys randomly staying on the floor for long periods of time. They mess up a save spot as Swagger hits Primo for the save about 5 seconds after Miz kicked out.

The Puerto Ricans are exploding here as they don’t like each other even though no one cares at all. Swagger and MVP are having the same angle that MVP and Miz are having now. No one is in the ring at the moment. Kofi’s movement is amazing to say the least and there’s the incredibly named Boom Drop. They do a Tower of Doom spot with Miz taking the most damage.

The crowd is dead here in case you were wondering. Miz is unceremoniously dumped to the floor. Is there a ceremonious way to do that? Everyone gets a quick rollup or pin and it gets some applause if nothing else. In a cool and actual believable spot, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale at the same time on MVP as he hits the Playmaker on Swagger. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Carlito for the pin and the very surprising retain.

Rating: C-. I hate matches like these, I truly do. They’re just disasters to have one guy get a fluke pin and overcome a bunch of odds when in reality all it does is disguise the fact that there is no story or effort being put in here and it’s just a massive mess. Kofi winning was a nice surprise though.

Randy Orton says he’ll prove himself tonight. He reminds me of Lex Luthor from Smallville.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the heck out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad.

What in the heck is the point of McCool’s song? You’re not enough for me? That makes no sense.

Cena is here.

There was a tournament where the winner got Orton at NOC. More or less it was a way to have HHH vs. Cena on free TV and I won’t even go into how stupid that is. Legacy ran in for the double DQ so they made it a triple threat, which had been done before but no one cared. The video was as simple as you could ask for.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Cena of course gets a mixed reaction. HHH gets a very face reaction and of course Orton gets a very heel reaction. Vince must already be coming over just the entrances. We’re at 5 minutes for intros and Orton hasn’t come out yet. This could be an all night thing. And now we sit and wait on Orton. I guess Vince wanted a show. They say this was a great Wrestlemania main event.

Not only was it not a main event, but it was far from great. Orton doesn’t have to be pinned or tap out to lose the title. The ridiculousness of triple threats is never lost on me. Big match intros mean that it’s been 13 and a half minutes since the last match ended and the beginning of this. Good to see they’re keeping this thing moving. The faces double up on Orton to keep things moving quickly I guess.

Orton of course winds up in trouble as you would expect. The other thing I hate about these are how formula based they are. Why does one guy always wind up down on the floor only to show up just in time to make a save? I don’t get it at all. Cena does that top rope leg drop to both guys and it more or less completely misses. Philly really doesn’t like Cena at all.

Orton gets put to the floor with another completely ridiculous spot and it’s HHH and Cena again. Hmm I believe I called this coming no? It’s boo/yay time as they oversell punches to no end. Why would anyone duck their head against HHH? How stupid do you really have to be? Cena takes the Pedigree and in a STUNNING, yes STUNNING I say, turn of events, Orton makes the last second save. We’re in the crowd now. Oh never mind only Orton is.

The STFU is on HHH on the table, making it completely pointless. Cena gets the STFU on HHH again but in the ring this time. There’s zero drama at all here as it’s clear the match won’t end here. Cena dodges the punt (even though the kicking motion is more like a place kick) and rolls up Orton for two. That could have been a believable ending actually. Somehow Orton makes the Garvin Stomp more boring. How in the world is that possible?

And now the fans are chanting for Orton. It’s a very interesting sign that Orton is so hated that the fans would rather have Cena as champion again. HHH hooks a Sharpshooter because he’s HHH and can do whatever he wants to I guess. Cena adds a Crossface at the same time and Orton taps.

Let the nonsense begin. Legacy runs in for the beatdown as I wonder why Rhodes can’t wear sleeves. And Orton hits the RKO on Cena for the pin to retain. Yep, after tapping like that he keeps the belt. That’s not stupid at all.

Rating: D+. I hated this. Even Cole has disgust in his voice and I can’t blame him. No one wanted to watch Orton other than Vince so he can stare at his glistening body. Even Philly was cheering for Cena. What does that tell you? This was idiotic to say the least and the match sucked on top of that. Actually let me revise that. The match was ok, but the formula was idiotic. Cena and Orton began their ridiculous feud the next month at Summerslam.

Maryse is stretching for obvious reasons. That and her mustache must equal talent right? Miz hits on her and it fails.

Shaq is guest host tomorrow.

Chilli from TLC is here. No one cares.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Legacy says they’re cementing their legacy.

We recap Mysterio vs. Ziggler which more or less is Ziggler has been winning a lot but doesn’t get the belt. This is his chance.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

People kept talking about the potential that Dolph had but I’ve just never seen it. These fans seem to think that everything is boring and it’s getting on my nerves very quickly. This is seemingly going to be a rather long match with Ziggler getting to show off. That’s a good sign if nothing else. He’s showing some solid offense and he looks completely calm doing it. Also getting in some little plays to the crowd which is always a nice perk.

This was what the title needed: big names defending it and guys having longer solid matches for it. For years it was the wrestlers’ title and that’s what they tried to make it again which I would say was a success. As expected, Dolph dominates for most of the match but makes one minor mistake, in this case going for one too many moves and here comes the masked man. And then of course the 619 and the springboard splash ends it.

Rating: B. This was very fine indeed. They got to beat on each other for awhile and it did a few things. First of all it let Ziggler look good. He got to show off against a huge star in Mysterio. Second they had a great match that made the belt look good. Both guys came out of this looking great and that’s all you can ask for.

Ad for the tag team DVD which I’m about halfway though and need to finish up.

We recap Punk vs. Hardy, which started at Extreme Rules where Punk used the MITB case to get the belt then slowly turned heel. That led us here.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

They really push the whole lifestyle thing here which is the smartest thing that they can do. They’re starting with a fast paced match that’s working rather well. These two had some great matches over the year and this was certainly one of them. Punk is so perfect as a heel and it’s working like a charm here. They’re going with high spots here which is something that Punk can do very well.

This wasn’t going to get a lot of time as it started at about 10:40, so the max was about 20 minutes. Oy it’s that referee with the hitch in his counts. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and we’re already at the end which isn’t good really, although the match is fine. We get a Dragon Sleeper of all things. Punk goes into that striking sequence he uses and Hardy ducks before hitting an RKO which is called a Twist of Fate here. Yeah that was dumb.

GTS hits and if the referee wasn’t incompetent, Punk would have won. Punk tries to leave and our hero doesn’t like that. In a rather anti-climactic moment he hits his usual finishing pair of moves and he gets his third world title. The celebration ends the show.

Rating: B-. I do not agree with the booking here at all. I was skeptical about the grade here but Ross saying let the Hardy Party begin sealed it. I don’t get Punk losing at all after the promo from earlier, but that’s life I guess as we can’t send kids home sad or they might only get three t-shirts this year instead of four. Either way this was pretty good although like I said it felt rushed which is because the show was running a bit low on time. I get why they cut it short. Still good though.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty good show but not great. I really didn’t like the triple threat but I’d chalk that one up to a personal bias more than anything else. Other than that, the non-Diva matches were more or less all good which is all you can ask for. There’s nothing that jumps off the page as awesome, but at times you don’t need there to be. This was good enough for a watch but it’s not something you’ll want to see again. Check it out if you’re bored.




Night of Champions Predictions

It’s Sunday and we have three major matches.

Here are my picks:

HHH vs. Punk

I guess I’ll go with Punk here, likely to set up a rematch inside HIAC which it’s WAY too early in the feud for but the calendar says that it’s time for a Cell match to take place.

Cena vs. Del Rio

I’m going to make this quick since it’s about 2am and thinking about this match puts me to sleep.  Cena because it’s a shorter word to type.  Has there been  a world title match with a worse build in recent memory not in TNA?  I can’t think of one.

Orton vs. Henry

Now THIS is an interesting one.  My money is on Orton to set up one last match in the Cell with Christian which is almost built up properly as a HIAC match.  I don’t have a ton of confidence in that pick though as Henry has been on a roll lately and I could easily see him taking the title.  When the booking points one way (Orton wins) but it could go either way, you have a well set up match which I can’t believe I’m saying about a Henry match but it’s true.

 

Thoughts on these and/or any other matches?




Smackdown – September 16, 2011 – Henry vs. Orton Looks Good

Smackdown
Date: September 16, 2011
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Booker T

It’s the final show before Night of Champions and other than the IC Title I think we’re all set for Sunday. I haven’t heard anything announced for tonight but it almost has to be better than Raw was. Orton vs. Henry will get pushed even more and to their credit I’m kind of interested in seeing how that match plays out, which is something I never would have bet on when it was announced. Let’s get to it.

We open with the return of Edge who gets the monster hometown boy pop. He’s here tonight to host the Cutting Edge with Henry and Orton. Edge talks about missing coming through the curtain and it feels good to be back. It feels better to be back here in his hometown of Smackdown. He misses being in the ring and competing and being in the back with his friends however more than anything he misses the fans.

Edge talks about having the Cutting Edge tonight and he won’t pull any punches. That’s later though. Right now….and here’s Cody to cut him off. Cody says Edge is probably here to talk about Haven which airs tonight on SyFy after Smackdown (Cody’s plug, not mine) but since Edge didn’t do that, it sounds like he’s sucking up to the people. He suggests the fans all need paper bags.

Edge says maybe it’s Cody that needs a bag instead of the people. Maybe it’s Cody that is ugly and disfigured. Cody says the last time he saw Edge he was walking out of Mania as world champion but Cody has become IC Champion since then and has gotten rid of DiBiase. Also he beat Orton on Monday. Cody pulls out a bag for Edge and says to take it home and put it in his office because it’s a reminder that Cody is the new face of Smackdown. Edge hands it back, saying Cody needs it more.

Cody says that makes no sense. Edge says no it doesn’t and neither does the idea that Dusty fathered him. That’s rather true. Edge goes to leave but Cody screams to have the music cut off. Cody FREAKS, shouting about how he’s better than the crowd and he’s going to give the crowd paper bags. “You need a bag. You need a bag. You need two bags.” Then a fan with a bag punches him and takes his bag off to reveal Ted DiBiase. Ted beats him up and beats down the baggers as well. Ted’s music plays as Cody leaves. I guess that’s the IC Title match. Good intensity from Ted.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This is the rematch from a few weeks ago where Cara beat down Bryan post match. Bryan says Cara can be all aggressive tonight and he’ll be fine with it. Bryan charges straight at him with a flying knee and Cara is in trouble early. He tries another charge though and Cara gets a shot in to block the suicide dive. Cara sends him to the floor and Bryan is holding a lot of parts in pain.

After a break we have Cara holding a leg lock on Bryan. A flying headbutt to a standing Bryan gets two. Booker: “You can see the anger in Cara’s eyes.” Cole: “HE’S IN A MASK!” Cole 1, Booker 0. Cara tries another dive but jumps into a knee and here comes Danny. Big kick gets two. They go to the corner and Cara gets him in the tree of woe where he stomps away. I mean he stomps a lot. He stomps so much that it’s a DQ at 5:00 shown of 8:30.

Rating: C. Not their best but this was still pretty good. The idea was that Cara was out to injure him instead of being a competitor which is a good change in his heel turn. Bryan at least has something to do but I’d like him to move on to a feud with someone a bit higher up on the card. Maybe that’s coming though.

Cara keeps up the beating until….Sin Cara comes down for the save. There are two Sin Caras and one leaves, I think the imposter.

Ryder doesn’t think Henry can stand next to Orton without attacking him. Teddy implements another no contact order for the Cutting Edge. Ryder has to go tell them. He leaves and Aksana comes in. She gives Teddy a massage, involving him bending over and saying how good it feels. Trish comes in and says she’s been there before. And that’s it.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Total squash, Glam Slam ends it in 1:15. There’s nothing else to say here. Beth says the time is ticking on Kelly.

Video on Sheamus who is Irish and awesome. This is set to a song which says Too Many Lies but in a slower/more rock style.

Edge and Trish are having a chat about MMA/yoga gloves or something like that. Christian comes up to make it a more Canadian party. Christian has been calling him a lot and Captain Charisma says Edge might have cost him the title. They hug and everything seems cool. He asks Edge to put in a good word with Teddy to get one more match for the title and Edge is like dude, seriously? Edge says Christian is whining again and Christian storms off. Ryder pops up and tells Edge to pass along the messages to Orton and Henry.

Wade Barrett/Christian vs. Justin Gabriel/Sheamus

Barrett has the coat again. Sheamus has new music which is a rockier song. Wait maybe he doesn’t. It sounds different at the beginning but maybe I’m crazy. Sheamus runs them both down pre match with his now usual Irish folk stuff. The former Nexus guys get us going. We talk about Gabriel going bungee jumping as he speeds things up. He tries a springboard move but jumps into a Bossman Slam (Booker: “Big Bubba Rogers!”).

Off to Christian who pounds away on Gabriel and gets a small package and clothesline for two each. Back to Barrett while Cole makes fun of Booker for being a boxing fan. Booker is going to be getting his own WWE.com show soon. Gabriel fires off the kicks but Barreett powers him down again. Sheamus hasn’t been in yet. Christian whips Gabriel back into the heel corner as we take a break.

Back with Gabriel getting beaten down again but grabs an STO on Christian. A double tag brings in Barrett and Sheamus to a big reaction. The Great White (again their terms and not mine) goes up but Christian grabs his foot. That doesn’t work long either as Barrett takes the big shoulder. Christian escapes the Celtic Cross and a Brogue Kick takes Barrett down so that the 450 can end him at 7:05 shown of 10:35.

Rating: C+. This was fine and a nice way to make Sheamus look dominant while not having him really get his hands on Christian yet. That seems like a smaller version of when HHH kept trying to Pedigree Stephanie or when 911 kept wanting to chokeslam Fonzie for you ECW fans out there. Granted it’ll be a much smaller scale.

Sheamus calls Christian into the ring but he bails. Sheamus’ music is the same here so I guess I was hearing things earlier.

Great Khali vs. Heath Slater

I’m really not seeing the One Man Southern Rock Band going anywhere. Much like the Divas earlier, what are you expecting here? Mahal comes out partway through it and speaks whatever language that is and then comes in for the DQ at 1:12.

Khali fights them off but can’t hit the Plunge on Mahal. He beats up Slater instead.

Raw recap eats up about 4-5 minutes.

Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth

Miz and Truth freestyle on the way to the ring. Ok Truth does and Miz shouts YOU SUCK at the right times. They start fast with Truth beating Bourne down pretty easily. Kofi and Miz are on commentary here. Miz makes fun of Kofi wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Kofi gets a good comeback with “You see this championship title right here? Because of this, this is how a champion dresses.” That’s something that needs to be done more often: talk about how the title means you’re the best.

Bourne fires off some kicks and a low hurricanrana which drives Truth’s head into the mat. He sets for Air Bourne but lands on his feet. Truth kicks the leg and hits that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 1:54. That’s a pretty definitive loss for a champion two days before a title match but it makes the challengers look like a real threat. I’ve heard that move is called What’s Up so we’ll go with that.

Time for the Cutting Edge and Edge doesn’t even get a full entrance? Whatsupwitdat? Edge talks about how important Toronto is to him and how he was at Mania 6 and how he won his first title in WWE here in Toronto also. The guests are Henry and Orton so here they are. Remember that while the Cutting Edge is on, there’s no contact allowed or the match is off.

Edge says that’s probably a good thing for Orton to be honest because Henry has been running through people. He asks Orton if Orton believes he can beat Orton. Orton brings up a good point in that Henry has never attacked him when he’s fresh and maybe that’s because Henry knows his best isn’t good enough. Randy doesn’t think he can beat Henry. He knows he can.

Edge says that’s the truth and brings up that Henry has never won a world title and doesn’t know how that’s possible. Getting to a world title means reaching a new level and Edge isn’t sure if Mark can reach that level. Henry says the only reason he’s letting Edge walk out is because Edge is right. He’s seen smaller guys, such as Edge, win countless titles. I thought 30 was a very countable number but that’s just me.

Henry is done smiling and showing personality and is here to take what Orton has. Orton says the match Sunday will sum up Henry’s career: he’ll look good but he’ll be the world’s strongest failure. They stare it down but Edge says to remember the no contact rule. He leaves and Edge says the Cutting Edge is now over.

Orton jumps Henry and gets him down to one knee but Teddy sends out the locker room to break it up. Henry gets in some shots and both guys break free of the others at one point. Orton fights them off (they’re holding him, not attacking him) but runs into the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry adds a splash and make it a pair. He stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This grade is going to fluctuate considering how you look at the show. If you looked at it as a regular show, it was pretty weak. If you looked at it as a go home show, this was pretty solid stuff. I really want to see Orton vs. Henry now because while I have a hunch who will win, I’m really not sure and it could go either way.

On the Raw side, I flat out do not care about Cena vs. Del Rio because they haven’t given me a reason to care. Beth looked dominant, the tag champions are in trouble and I think it’s pretty safe to assume Ted gets the IC Title shot. That’s a pretty good use of two hours so I’ll call this a solid go home show.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Sin Cara via DQ when Cara wouldn’t let Bryan out of the corner
Beth Phoenix b. AJ – Glam Slam
Sheamus/Justin Gabriel b. Christian/Wade Barrett – 450 to Barrett
Great Khali b. Heath Slater via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered
R-Truth b. Evan Bourne – What’s Up




Smackdown – September 9, 2011 – Somebody Get Mark Henry A Twinkie

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

We have two more shows before Night of Champions and to the best of my knowledge we have one match on Smackdown set. There’s no IC Title match and the tag title match is on Raw. Wait…are there any other title matches from this show? If there are I can’t think of any. This isn’t exactly a stacked card from the Blue team and Cody is hardly ever on TV anymore because he actually got some momentum and we can’t have that no can we? Let’s get to it.

A video about Mark Henry starts us off. He’s big and mean and strong. Also he’s injured a lot of people because that’s what big mean strong people do.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is being in a dentist chair for two hours next week.

Here’s Henry who almost has to win the title to keep from wasting the last three months of our time. He talks about being in WWE 15 years and needing to validate his time here. Last week he destroyed Orton worse than Orton has ever been destroyed and now he’s more dangerous than he’s ever been.

He gets cut off by Zack Ryder who is still assistant to the GM here. Ryder comes bearing news: tonight there’s a no contact rule for Henry and Orton. They both have matches tonight though. Ryder tries to leave but Henry says come back here. He thanks Ryder for the head’s up and Ryder tries to leave again. Henry says he has a question and Ryder is terrified.

Henry wants Ryder’s prediction for the PPV. He picks Beth over Kelly Kelly. As for Henry’s match though, if he picks Orton then Henry will “snort me up one nostril and out the other.” Ryder tries to leave again and Henry says he’s going to hurt someone tonight. Ryder tries to fight him and that gets him a World’s Strongest Slam. Cole: “I think that puts Henry out of the running for Broksi of the Week.” Booker: “You know it.”

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants a test of strength and Jackson is all cool with that. Jackson goes down and starts the traditional face comeback in a test of strength but Henry backdrops him out of it. There’s a top wristlock in another strength contest. Jackson fires off some punches and tries the Rack but since he lifted the bigger Khali a few weeks ago he can’t lift Henry here. Don’t you just love physics in wrestling? Henry gets him down with a clothesline and hits two splashes before the Slam ends this at 2:58. Just a squash.

Orton’s match tonight is with Rhodes. I’m stunned too: Rhodes still exists.

Teddy is in his office and here’s Aksana in more leather. She wants to be guest ring announcer again and Teddy says that would take the special out of special guest ring announcer. She says she can do something else with her mouth: sing. Teddy leaves to go check on Zack Ryder.

Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd

The topic of conversation of course is Cara’s heelish…..er I mean rudo actions last week. Cara sends Kidd to the floor and hits a huge dive to take out Tyson. Cole starts making fun of Josh so Booker gets us back to sanity. Josh says he would interview Sin Cara but he doesn’t speak Spanish. Cole gives him a Spanish lesson as the match is totally ignored. Cara and Kidd have their usual fast paced back and forth match. A spinning springboard cross body gets two for Kidd who rolls through Cara’s cover. Cara hits a cross between a Samoan Drop and an Angle Slam to set up the Swanton/Lionsault combo for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: C+. The usual good match from these two with some nice dives and counters, but as he always does anymore, Cole took the focus completely off the match and made it all about himself. We have some high flying stuff going on out there but hey, let’s have Cole teach us (incorrectly) how to fake a conversation in Spanish and make fun of Booker’s way of commentating. I used to think he was no big deal and that people were overreacting to him but dude, shut up for five minutes already.

As per Cole’s more or less demandments, Josh goes to interview Cara. Cole cracks up as Josh talks really slowly. Cara speaks English and says….well now he’s in Spanish again. Oh ok he’s doing the wrestling thing of saying something in Spanish and then repeating it in English. He says he’s going to continue this style because it’s the real Sin Cara.

Cue Daniel Bryan who isn’t happy. He’s surprised Cara can speak English and was also surprised that Cara kicked him in the head last week. The kick spoke in a universal language: he doesn’t respect Bryan. Bryan wants a rematch next week and Cara drills him, putting him in the LeBell Lock and Bryan taps.

Video on Cody. He’s disfigured don’t you know.

Orton says Cody’s changes haven’t been for the better. He’s unstable and that can be dangerous. As for Mark Henry, what he did last week was smart and calculated, which aren’t usually associated with Henry. Orton says an RKO can stop Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

Why doesn’t Natalya get a title shot on PPV? Beth is coming up on her second. Beth is with Nattie and Kelly is alone. Kelly hammers away to start and we’re told about some article on WWE.com which set everyone off. That would make a difference if the article had come out before the heel turn started but whatever. Natalya beats her down on the floor and is in total control.

We go old school with an abdominal stretch. Cole of course won’t shut up about everything not related to the match. Kelly fights back with a slap and a sunset flip which is rolled through into a Sharpshooter attempt but Kelly rolls her up for the pin at 2:58. Another short match but Kelly escaping with the win is getting a bit old. Hopefully Beth takes it Sunday or Eve finally turns on her.

Here’s Christian for a match but he says his match has been postponed. The rest of the matches have been postponed too. Due to Teddy Long making him be in the main event last week, he wasn’t ready for his cage match. Christian wants, say it with me, one more match for the title.

Sheamus comes out and says this is getting embarrassing. Christian reminds Sheamus as a litter of puppies. All but the runt grew up to be big and strong but the runt developed mange. Every time he barked, hot air came out of him. Christian yells at him and says shut up. The pale one says he wants to get to his match and Christian isn’t going to get another chance because he’s out of excuses and out of chances. Right now though, he’s going to get out of this ring. Christian actually leaves. And I’m sure he won’t come back at all right?

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

The crowd is behind Sheamus so at least they’re well behaved. It’s a power match to start with Sheamus controlling but not by much. Barrett gets a kick in to block a backdrop and then runs to the floor. Back in Barrett beats him down a bit and Sheamus is like BY THE POWER OF IRELAND and pounds him down in the corner. Sheamus gets reversed into the corner though and Barrett takes over for the first extended period of the match so far.

Barrett puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Wade getting two off something we didn’t see. Out to the floor again and Barrett gets a big boot in and rams Sheamus’ back into the apron a few times, getting two in the ring. Barrett gets a single right hand to put Sheamus on the floor. Back in Sheamus fires off and it’s a slugfest won by the pale one. There are those tied in the rope forearm smashes, now getting counted along with by the crowd. A top rope shoulder block hits but here’s Christian for the DQ at 6:53 shown of 10:23.

Rating: C+. These two are good for a power brawl and that’s what they had here. I’m not sure what else they were supposed to try to do so they didn’t try anything complicated. There’s always something fun about two big and strong guys out there hitting each other until one can’t get up and that’s what they were getting close to by the end. Fun little match. Also Sheamus vs. Christian could be a pretty entertaining feud.

Sheamus starts beating Christian back but gets double teamed by the Canadian and the Brit. That’s not a problem either as he gets Christian to run and takes Barrett out with a double sledge and the Brogue Kick. Christian comes back in and almost gets caught in the Celtic (formerly High) Cross but he gets out and runs.

Air Boom vs. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal

Kofi’s pyro works tonight as opposed to Monday. Bourne vs. Mahal gets us going with Mahal getting a clothesline for two. Off to tall dude who has to lean down to hit Bourne in the back. Khali smothers Bourne’s face against the top rope and it’s back to Mahal. This referee is really loud.

Bourne escapes a suplex by kneeing Mahal in the head which was impressive. Hot tag to Kofi and he cleans house. Boom Drop hits and he loads up the Trouble in Paradise. Instead he hits a spinning cross body off the top and Khali saves. Mahal yells at Khali and slaps him, making Khali shove him into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match and I’m kind of disappointed that they’ve split up the Indian dudes this quickly. They could have been something interesting especially with an actual backstory to them. Mahal was a hot guy when he came in and has come crashing down since then and I don’t get why. I guess this sets up Khali vs. Mahal and I’m not sure why that’s happening.

We run down the card for NOC.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Non-title here of course. We get a clip of Ted getting beaten down by Cody after his loss. Cody talks about how everyone is jealous of his abilities and his success. He’s tried to inspire people but Ted DiBiase was happy being Ted DiBiase so he dropped him. Rhodes points out that Orton has no room to talk about being unstable.

Feeling out process to start and neither guy has a real advantage. Orton gets two on a dropkick. Here are the stomps which Cole calls psychological. Almost all Orton so far but they have a lot of time. Thesz Press keeps Rhodes down. Cody gets in a shot with the mask and Randy goes down. Cole goes into a big rant about Josh being a follower or some jazz like that as Orton makes a comeback.

Orton headbutts the mask and takes over with an adrenaline rush off the pain. Booker: “Cole has anyone ever told you that you’re just annoying?” Orton injures his knee a bit and Cody hones in like a wrestler that sees an opponent with an injured knee. Rhodes puts him on the apron and hits his kick as we take a break. Back with Cody still in control in the corner.

Cody works over the arm because he’s a bit strange at times. You know, I mean it’s not like ORTON HURT HIS KNEE EARLIER. Time for Cole to work his annoyances again as Booker mentions he has wrestling students. Cody works on the arm even more which I guess is the focal point now. Orton has had bad arms/shoulders so it works I guess. Rhodes throws on an armbar and the fans chant for Randy.

Alabama Slam cuts the comeback short but it only gets two. Orton gets a shot in and both guys are down. Booker gets WAY too excited when Randy starts his comeback. There are the clotheslines and the powerslam but Rhodes gets a release gordbuster to break up the momentum again. Orton fires back with a kneedrop as this is starting to get good. Elevated DDT and Orton goes into seizure mode. Rhodes shows some intelligence and RUNS while Orton is all fired up. Cross Rhodes are avoided and the RKO ends this clean at 6:57 shown of 10:27.

Rating: B-. This could be really good in an instance where Cody has a chance, but here he was just cannon fodder for Orton. The problem here is that Cody has lost a bunch of steam in the past few weeks since he won the title because just like everyone else who gets some momentum he’s immediately stopped cold so that a guy the writers haven’t picked doesn’t become something huge. This is probably the biggest problem in WWE at the moment: no one is allowed to get significant momentum and it cripples so many pushes.

Here’s Henry post match and Orton is a bit scared. Orton gets in some shots but Henry takes him down with ease. He hits the Slam and puts an unfolded chair over Orton’s throat and says he could break him, ending the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week as we move closer to Night of Champions. Orton vs. Henry gets a bit more build but it’s kind of the same stuff we’ve seen so far. I guess the no touching policy was either forgotten or was only in effect until after their matches were over. Other than that there isn’t much going on here but Christian vs. Sheamus should be good….when we actually get there. Good show overall but a bit boring.

Results

Mark Henry b. Ezekiel Jackson – World’s Strongest Slam

Sin Cara b. Tyson Kidd – Lionsault

Kelly Kelly b. Natalya – Small Package

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Christian interfered

Air Boom b. Great Khali/Jinder Mahal – Trouble in Paradise to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO




Saturday Night’s Main Event #1 – When A Cowboy Was A Good Gimmick

Saturday Night’s Main Event 1
Date: May 11, 1985
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So I figured this was a good one to get around to. This is the fallout show from Mania but there isn’t a ton of fallout. No one really knew what this was going to be like but it was an experiment worth trying at least. It was the first chance a lot of people would have to see these guys on television as it was shown on NBC in prime time which was unheard of back then. Either way, this should be fun so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with the main faces for the night talking. Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper are talking about the match with Moolah tonight and Hogan and Mr. T. say they’re ready for Bob Orton tonight. As always, the music is awesome. Jesse is in pink. He can get away with it though.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

The heels blame Steele for the loss and Steele and Albano scare them off.

Piper’s Pit

The guest is Paul Orndorff, who was Piper’s partner in the main event of Wrestlemania. Orton is there as well. Paul more or less says go ahead and try to beat me up to Orton which Piper tries to defuse quickly. Piper has to be high on something. Either that or he’s just completely insane. I’m not sure which it is.

Piper keeps insulting Orndorff and then he would jump up and yell at both guys who run and scream. Piper finally gives up and calls Orndorff a piece of garbage and Paul cleans house. A piledriver is blocked by a cast shot from Orton. Mr. T. makes the save. Ok, we get it: Mr. T. is in a wrestling company. Let it go already.

Hogan says he dedicates the match tonight to his mother. Ok then. He’s also happy about Paul’s recent face turn.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself.

After a break we come back to the three of them posing and you can just tell that Vince wants to screw all of them.

Gene is with Cyndi Lauper and Albano. Lauper has a VERY annoying voice. These two started the Rock N Wrestling Connection and launched wrestling into the stratosphere.

They air her new video which has about ever wrestler with a cameo in it other than Piper who shows up to yell about it. That was awesome actually.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Fabulous Moolah

Before the match, Moolah says she’s tired of the interference so Lauper is barred tonight. The reading of the announcement that Lauper is gone tonight takes the better part of forever to get through and FINALLY we get to the match. This was match number two that fueled the mega run that wrestling went on.

We’re on the floor nearly immediately. To say Richter was popular at this time was the understatement of all time. She would actually main event house shows if you can believe that. Surprisingly, Moolah is being beaten down for the most part here. Considering she was champion for about 30 years, that’s saying a lot. Yes I know she didn’t really hold it that long but that’s kayfabe for you. Richter gets a quick small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is just long enough to grade but there isn’t anything of note here. It’s ok but that’s about it. Women’s wrestling back then was more of a mess than it is now, but the women could work MUCH better than they can today for the most part. Ok not really but these two had a feud going and that was better than nothing. Yeah the match sucked and I’m rambling.

JYD has his mother here for Mother’s Day. Her name is Bertha.

Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog

Take a wild guess who wins here. Grab Them Cakes is a decent song if nothing else. Them Cakes means a woman’s back in case you were wondering. Oh never mind that’s Another One Bites the Dust. Wow my hearing must be off. And it’s a three minute squash with Doherty being on the floor for a lot of that. JYD and his mom dance afterwards.

Rating: N/A. This was just thrown in for filler as a lot of stuff was around this time.

We come back to see Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day party. It’s just a long line of wrestlers with their “mothers” including Hogan. They all say they love them and then a food fight starts.

Jesse and Vince wrap things up.

Overall Rating: C+. It got the big names on TV other than Andre but he was a very sporadic guy at this point. This was fine for a debut but you could see that it was a lot of rehashing Mania which to be fair was so groundbreaking that they didn’t have a lot of other stuff to go with. Also, that was the hottest thing in the world back then so they were right to go with it I guess.

Not bad but a lot more for entertainment than wrestling which is fine. Great job of showing who everyone is though so that’s a major plus. Check it out because it’s a huge deal as far as starting a big tradition so there we are.




Smackdown – August 30, 2011 – Smackdown Live Works For Me

Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2011
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the live show tonight and the main event is Christian vs. Orton 4985 for the title in a cage match. It’s a double branded show and hopefully we’ll get the announcement that Raw guys will also appear on Smackdown. Anyway this should be fun as the live shows are usually better. Let’s get to it.

Punk and HHH will sign their contract tonight.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Detroit Tigers who won’t let my Indians get back in contention.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He’s not sure what day it is. I kind of like him talking on the way to the ring. Don’t adjust your sets because this is Smackdown, it is Tuesday and we are live. He lists off a bunch of shows that are here, ranging from Raw to Smackdown to Nitro to Smokey Mountain Wrestling to the XFL superstars. Scratch that XFL idea because that was worse than the Shockmaster.

He calls out Alberto and the music plays but it’s Rodriguez instead. He says that Cena has to wait a bit longer to be in the ring with Del Rio and actually speaks English for a bit. And scratch that as it’s time for the full entrance. Not that Del Rio is here due to visa issues but whatever. Ricardo keeps saying Del Rio’s name over and over until Cena shouts at him. Cena has a gift for Alberto though. It’s a right hand and down goes Ricardo.

Here’s Barrett or as Cena says “Mr. Winds of Change” himself. Barrett yells at Cena for beating up the fat ring announcer which gets us a Tony Chimmel reference. They argue back and forth a bit and the bell is after the break.

Wade Barrett vs. John Cena

Cena pounds him down into the corner and Barrett is reeling early. Headlock takeover puts Barrett down again but the British dude gets a shot in to take over. Cena doesn’t like being in trouble though so he hits a sitout powerslam to put Barrett down again. Boss Man Slam gets two for Wade. They’re going through this kind of fast and it’s making it a weaker match. Case in point we’re less than three minutes in and Cena is on his finishing sequence including the Protobomb and Shuffle. The AA hits and Cena wins 100% clean at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Uh….what was that? I mean I knew Cena was going to dominate but Barrett got in a total of one move of note which was the Boss Man Slam. I really don’t get this one at all and while it’s not like Barrett is buried now (since anyone that ever loses to a bigger star is instantly buried if you read things on the internet) this was a bit harsh on him.

Henry doesn’t care who wins tonight. He says Striker asked a dumb question when he asked what a cage match was like.

Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan

This should be good. Cara hits some arm drags to take over and grabs an armbar. Bryan gets a kick to the chest in and the suicide dive/shove to take over. He’s looking a bit mad tonight for some reason. Here come the kicks from Daniel Bryan: Male Rockette. Off to a surfboard but he’s no Rob Van Dam so it doesn’t work. Instead he drops Cara down into a dragon sleeper which was pretty cool. Bryan is backdropped to the floor and Cara manages to avoid missing a dive but the second, a springboard spinning cross body to the floor, takes Bryan out.

Back in the swanton gets two but he didn’t try the Lionsault. Bryan gets his moonsault out of the corner and they collide on cross body attempts to put both of them down. They exchange kicks but Cara manages to put him down and hit the swanton/Lionsault combo and gets the pin at 5:03.

Rating: C+. Ok so maybe there is something to the depushed theory. Bryan losing here is rather odd but maybe it leads to a heel turn eventually. I can understand the losses to people like Christian and Del Rio because they’re bigger stars than Bryan. This either says very little about Bryan or says A LOT about Cara. I’m not sure which but I didn’t see that one coming.

They shake hands post match but CARA KICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Did Sin Cara just turn heel??? I was referring to a Bryan turn!

Air Boom says they’re awesome and teach Striker the Boom Boom Boom.

Sheamus doesn’t like bullies and you shouldn’t either.

We recap the Orton vs. Christian feud since MITB, which is really all you need to know about the feud.

Christian says this is his night.

Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox

Aksana is guest ring announcer which is supposed to be connected to her hitting on Teddy. So Alicia is a face now? Nattie vs. Kelly to start. Kelly looks like the victim of a bubblegum accident. Cold tag to Alicia and after some offense from her, the Glam Slam takes care of this at 2:00.

It’s time for the contract signing and Teddy brings out HHH. He talks about the match a bit and says he’s glad that he gets to take the suit off for one night. The fans seem totally behind Punk. Punk puts his feet on the table and wants to know why we’re here. He thinks HHH has put a stipulation into the contract but HHH says there’s nothing suspicious going on. Punk says there’s nothing HHH can do to surprise him.

Punk interrupts HHH when he talks about respect and for once, someone tells Punk to shut up. HHH says he’s bent over backwards to work with Punk but Punk kept pushing. He wants to know who Punk thinks got Living Color to let the company use Cult of Personality as his theme. Who does Punk think got him that Best in the World shirt? Punk has gotten everything he’s asked for but Punk hasn’t cooperated. Now HHH wants Punk to deal with him like a man.

Punk says he doesn’t want to fight the COO but rather the Cerebral Assassin. Maybe HHH isn’t the right man for the job because just like Vince, he can’t separate the business from the personal stuff. Punk insists he loves the WWE because if he hated it he wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He wants a change and says that he and the fans are dying for a change. Punk says he wants to be a catalyst for that change.

HHH says give me a break because half of the fans agree with him and half of them flat out do not care. Some of the fans like the WWE, which draws a big pop. He’s right too. Punk only wants change if it means Punk is on top. He’s no different than anyone, including HHH. They’d both do whatever it took to get on top but HHH said he’d do whatever it took to get to the top. Punk has no balls though and is trying to sneak his way to the top by pretending to be a martyr.

Punk says if he’s seen as a martyr then maybe he’s doing the right thing. HHH talked about half of the people liking it but Punk wants EVERYONE to like it. Before Punk was a wrestler he was a fan and at his core he’s still that. He’ll do whatever he can do to make this place fun again. The reason he says these things about his wife is because it tests HHH. HHH is just like Vince and is just as egotistical and corrupt as everyone and the hiring of HHH’s old buddies is proof of that.

Punk signs and says that if he has to be the catalyst of change and has to go through HHH to do it, so be it. At Night of Champions, don’t fine him or suspend him after he beats the boss. HHH says the difference between Punk and himself is respect. He respects Vince and says that they wouldn’t be there if not for Vince McMahon. That’s a hard one to argue for Punk I think.

He’s about to say why he’s not like Vince but gets cut off by Punk. Punk calls him short sighted and HHH is living in the past that Vince is trapped in. Punk wants change and HHH says he’ll get it. This is where he’s not like Vince (he signs here) because at NOC he would have gotten in the ring with Punk and taken a beating because it would have been good for business. This isn’t about business and it’s personal.

Here’s Nash and Punk FREAKS. HHH tries to hold him back but the big man gets in there. They slug it out and HHH tries to break it up, allowing Nash to get in a big boot. HHH gets in his face and Nash shoves him down, stunning HHH.

Sheamus vs. Great Khali

Sheamus still has bad ribs. Khali dominates to start and locks in a nerve hold after hammering away on the chest and ribs. Sheamus fights back and hits his forearms while Khali is in the ropes but as he sets for the Brogue Kick, Mahal comes in for the DQ at 2:50. This was nothing.

Post match the Indian dudes try a beatdown but Khali misses the chop and hits the post. A Brogue Kick takes him down and Sheamus beats up Legs Mahal for fun.

Inside Out trailer wastes some time.

There’s a poll for the world title match tonight: Orton wins 85 to 15. DANG.

The cage is lowered and it’s just after 9:30. This is going to get some time.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

In a cage and Orton is champion in case you’re reading this in like 10 years. You can win by pin/submission/escape. I didn’t know the back of the belt was red. They have about 18 minutes left so for a TV main event that’s more than enough. Christian tries two early escapes but Orton saves both times. He tries something off the middle rope but jumps into a dropkick from Randy for two. With that we take an abrupt break less than two minutes into the match.

Back with Christian in control and hammering away in the corner. Orton takes him down with a clothesline and the fans seem to like Orton better. Why do I sound surprised by that? Anyway Christian gets slammed off the top off another escape attempt. A pair of knee drops gets two for Orton. Orton’s escape attempt fails as does the elevated DDT. The Canadian goes up but Orton makes a save again.

They’re really playing up the idea of it could end at a moment’s notice as Orton gets a rollup and Christian gets a spinebuster, both for two. Cole says Christian has been around for 17 years. I don’t know what school he went to but they weren’t noted for their math. Christian gets to the top of the cage but Randy makes another save. They fight on the top rope and Orton snaps off a superplex to put both guys down at break #2.

Back with Christian almost making it and having his hands on the floor but Orton saves again. Orton starts his insane stuff but the elevated DDT is countered again. A shot to the cage is reversed into the falling DDT for two for the Canadian. Christian goes for the escape and even shoves Orton down but he’s feeling froggy and it only gets two.

Orton makes about his 10th save and avoids a spear. RKO misses and the second spear attempt hits for a close two. The drama in this has been very good. Christian loads up the Punt but Orton avoids it and in a NICE bit of psychology Christian teases his turning dive out of the corner and Orton jumps for an RKO but Christian fakes him out and climbs. Orton stops him again and gets that sweet over the shoulder powerbomb position into a neckbreaker for two. The fans are into this.

Christian tries the Killswitch but Orton escapes and tries the elevated DDT and gets it for once but the RKO is countered. Christian makes a lunge for the climb but Orton makes ANOTHER save. We’re past 10pm now and they’re fighting on the top rope. Christian tries the Killswitch from the top but Orton counters into a SUPER RKO and Christian is dead at 13:35.

Rating: A. I loved this. They played back to stuff from previous matches like the head fake and the idea of it ending at any time was excellent. This match worked incredibly well and the whole thing was great. These two have had the feud of the year in any other year because Cena vs. Punk happened this year. Great stuff again and I’m thinking it happens again at the Cell, but I’m not sure how they get there.

Post match Henry comes out for the beating and Orton is destroyed.  Randy escapes for a bit but Henry takes him down with a clothesline and a splash stops Orton cold.  He gets sent into the cage and takes a World’s Strongest Slam to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well the Raw guys didn’t play a huge role here and that’s definitely a good thing. Other than the quick Cena match and the HHH/Punk/Nash thing (which I liked) there wasn’t much of a Raw presence here. The show was entertaining enough and a good main event makes this pretty easily a solid show. Sheamus vs. the Indian dudes is something to do I guess and we have the NOC main event set up now. It wasn’t the huge show they were hoping for but I’d call this a good show, which is the norm on Smackdown for the most part anymore.

 

Results

John Cena b. Wade Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Sin Cara b. Daniel Bryan – Lionsault

Natalya/Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox – Glam Slam to Fox

Sheamus b. Great Khali via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO off the top rope




Smackdown – August 26, 2011 – Kind Of A Tuesday Preview Show

Smackdown
Date: August 26, 2011
Location: Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

We’re still in Canada and we’re into the Henry as #1 contender era. The main event tonight is him vs. Sheamus in a Summerslam rematch that hopefully is as good as last time. I’m really hoping they don’t end Sheamus’ momentum already but maybe they won’t. Since we’re in Canada there’s also a little surprise in store. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Henry being dominant last week in the battle royal and getting the shot at Orton.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is 4000 miles separating you from someone you want to be with more than anything.

Remember that surprise I mentioned? Bret Hart is here to open the show. Bret says he’s not here tonight so HHH has named him Guest GM for the night. See, THIS is what legends should be doing. Flair would be perfect for something like this. Have a show in Charlotte? Have Flair pop in and be a guest host or a guest referee or something. Bret mentions that Tuesday will be a special live Super Smackdown which is a double branded show.

Bret says he’s looking forward to the main event which will be Henry vs. Orton for the title. That brings out Christian who says he blames his loss at Summerslam on Bret’s friend Edge. Due to Edge doing what he did, Christian couldn’t concentrate and he lost the title. Bret says Christian is getting really whiny, becoming an embarrassment to himself, the world title, the WWE Universe and to Canada. OH NO HE DIDN’T! Christian needs to start at the bottom and work his way back up.

Christian says that guys like Bret and Edge are the real embarrassments because they can’t let it go. He thinks maybe they’re jealous because he’s the only relevant Canadian. Christian pulls out a document saying he gets a title rematch next week on Smackdown. Bret says he does, but it needs to be a special kind of match. The more famous Canadian makes it a steel cage match and Christian isn’t happy.

That brings out Mark Henry and Christian heads to the floor. Henry says he’s tired of this disrespect after 15 years in the company and he earned his title match last week. If he doesn’t get it, someone is going to be hurt. He wants the winner of the cage match and as much as he respects Bret, he can’t be held responsible for what happens if he doesn’t get the shot. Since three people taking 15 minutes to talk hasn’t been enough, here’s Sheamus!

The great white (which is what Cole called him earlier so don’t jump on me) talks about his uncle’s farm and a big black bull there. The bull kept destroying everything in sight so one day his uncle castrated said bull. Sheamus charges and the fight is on! Henry gets knocked to the floor and the staredown finally takes us to a break.

Christian vs. Daniel Bryan

This was set up during the break. As Bryan is coming to the ring we get a quick video package on him. Cole thinks Bryan is planning something and won’t cash in at Mania but rather like everyone else has. It’s a basic match to start as Bryan tries his strikes and Christian tries his usual stuff.

There’s the big dive (the announcers don’t react to it until the replay because they’re talking about how the champion always gets a rematch after losing. Not exactly but who cares about history in this company?) and Bryan hooks a surfboard. Christian escapes the hold though and takes over as we take a break. Back with a chinlock on and the fans are behind Christian as is expected.

Bryan gets a shot in and the missile dropkick out of nowhere for two. So far the count of Booker calling him “D. Bryan, one of my Fave Five” is at three. The pendulum kick is blocked in the corner and Bryan rips off some kicks and a knee to the chest for two. Christian does his stand on the guy’s back while they’re in the 619 position and the uppercut for two.

Spear is countered by a kick but Bryan slips on his moonsault and Christian tries the sunset flip out of the corner. Bryan rolls through and hits the spin kick (with Christian looking stupid for sitting there for two). Top rope rana is countered and Christian (called the Professor by Booker) hooks a tornado DDT for two. Killswitch is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but the Canadian makes the rope. Out of almost nowhere the Killswitch ends this at 8:08 shown of 11:38.

Rating: B. Another good and long TV match from Smackdown as is their custom. I’ve heard some people saying Bryan is being buried or depushed, but since he’s won the case the worst loss he’s had is to Wade Barret who is hardly a nobody. He’s got (arguably) a better resume than Bryan in WWE at this point and it was a good match. Bryan has had consistently good matches against top level competition and I can’t get why people would think he’s been depushed.

Aksana says watch Super Smackdown.

Wade Barrett vs. ???

It’s a jobber but his name is never given. Barrett grabs the mic and says he’s done a lot and this is an insult because this is beneath him as a man and asking him to face a man such as this is an insult. Barrett walks off and there’s no match.

Raw ReBound eats up some time. It’s about Cena vs. Punk.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

I’m not sure which Cara this is but he’s got some solid abs. It’s now the one man Southern rock band and his music sounds like that a bit as well. Del Rio vs. Sin Cara on Tuesday. Slater goes right after Cara to open things up and the fans aren’t thrilled. We hear about Slater’s background in listening to southern rock. I know the writers are lacking for characters a bit but a guy that listens to music is the best they’ve got? Anyway as the announcers argue a bit Cara hits the big cross body to the floor and the slingshot swanton and the Lionsault end this at 1:42. What the heck was that?

On a side note, from what I understand this match was taped twice because the first time was so horrible it had to be redone because it couldn’t air.

We get a recap of Orton being confronted by Legacy and the RKO to DiBiase before he could get much out at all.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

Rhodes talks about being a miracle worker and that he’s resurrecting the title, which I hope is true. Basic stuff on the mat to start until Randy takes over. Shoulder block gets two for DiBiase. It’s more or less a standoff and I think they’ll have a decent amount of time to work with here. Orton gets going and stomps away to continue the slow pace of this match. DiBiase gets the following clothesline for two and a pop from the crowd. That Bizarro Land tag is pretty true.

Ted’s dropkick is countered into a slingshot and Orton unleashes his clotheslines. A move that I refuse to call a Thesz Press hits but Cody breaks up the elevated DDT. Randy tries an RKO on the floor on Cody but DiBiase hits a baseball slide to save and we take a break. Back with Orton getting taken down by a dropkick for two. Ted goes up but Orton fires off right hands and gets a superplex for two.

Orton initiates his finishing sequences and might be bleeding from his head a bit. Powerslam sets up the backbreaker but Ted counters the latter into a rollup for two. They’re trying to play up the idea that Ted knows Randy so well that he can counter everything. Dream Street is countered into a European Uppercut and there’s the elevated DDT. RKO attempt is countered into a Dream Street attempt which is reversed. Ted tries another following clothesline but walks into the RKO for the pin at 8:40 shown of 12:10.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match but I wasn’t feeling it. These two didn’t click and after three months of Christian vs. Orton, it’s kind of hard to get into these two having such an uninteresting match. It wasn’t bad I guess but Orton needs the right guy to bring him out of his boring area and DiBiase isn’t that guy.

Post match Cody takes out Ted with Cross Rhodes. Ted gets a bagging.

Kelly Kelly vs. Tamina

A quick inset promo by Natalya says Kelly is a real Barbie doll but she doesn’t play with dolls. Do these more often WWE. They’re a great way to give the characters TV time and let them say a little something. Booker has dubbed Tamina the Warrior Princess. Kelly does her usual stuff and spanks Tamina a bit. Tamina knocks Kelly down on a headscissors attempt and we talk about Tamina’s basketball career. Cole: “Tamina once had 69 rebounds in a game.” Booker: “That’s like Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100 points but from a female perspective.” Yeah I’ve got nothing. Stink Face and a bad K2 end this at 2:45.

Jinder Mahal blames Khali for losing the battle royal last week and says Khali has been reeducated to only serve Mahal. Tonight, the target is Ezekiel Jackson.

Great Khali vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Khali shoves him around to start so Jackson charges straight at him. That makes sense for him as it’s worked against everyone else and why shouldn’t he use it again here? We get the backstory again about Khali and Mahal. Off to the nerve hold which doesn’t last long. Jackson starts firing off his clotheslines in the corner but Khali gets the big boot up. Here’s the vice grip but since Khali is a heel his submission hold is useless and Jackson breaks it as well as makes a rope. Mahal tries to cheat and gets dropped, allowing Jackson to get the torture rack for the tap out at 2:55. Ok that was impressive.

Orton says he isn’t worried about Christian and then it’s on to Henry.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil, which I think we’ve now seen some form of about 193 times if my math is correct. The difference here: it’s a lot longer.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

This is a rematch from Summerslam which they’ve played up about as much as humanly possible tonight. Booker says he’d be upset if he had been here 15 years like Henry had and got disrespected. It really has been 15 years. It seems like at least 16 or so. This is what you would expect from these two: a power brawl. Sheamus takes over to start and then Henry uses his power to take him back down.

Henry steps on his chest but Sheamus fires off some right hands. That goes nowhere as Henry headbutts him back down. What would a power match be without the heel throwing on a bear hug? They keep up the idea of Sheamus trying to get some shots in but Henry is too strong. Henry sets for a gorilla press but Sheamus counters into a pretty nice DDT.

He fires off the axe handles and then the forearms while Henry is in the ropes. A flying shoulder block gets two off the top. Henry rolls to the floor and the fun starts. Henry pulls him to the floor and then sends him literally flying into the barricade. Henry loads up the announce table but Sheamus counters the Slam and gets a big old Brogue Kick to send Henry over the table. Sheamus slides in to beat the count at 7:33.

Rating: C. This was really all they could do here and it’s the right move. They’re even now and Sheamus has a reason to want another crack at Henry because neither has the definitive win yet. This was exactly what you would expect in the form of a brawl and that’s what it should have been. There’s no need to have these guys try to be something they’re not and this match was watchable because of it.

Henry goes nuts after the match and manages to ram Sheamus into the apron. Sheamus fights back and rams Henry into the post but he tries to throw the steps at Henry at the post and misses. A World’s Strongest Slam onto the steps ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well with two long matches and the usual nothing bad from Smackdown you can’t call it a bad show. This was more of a placeholder show as the Super Smackdown was the focus, as it should be. Bret was a nice surprise but I would have liked to see him more than in just the opening segment. The Tuesday show was set up well and that’s the important thing right here. Good show but it was missing something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.




Smackdown – August 19, 2011 – Smackdown Still Has It

Smackdown
Date: August 19, 2011
Location: Rabobank Arena, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

It’s the post Summerslam show and we get to see what is going on after Orton has won the title. There’s more or less no reason to have Chrstian get another shot now after feuding with Randy all summer. The match on Sunday came off like a blowoff match and while I could see one more match in the Cell, they need a break between now and then. We’ll also get a lot more stuff I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

Teddy opens the show and here’s Randy. He says the people are used to hearing Christian whine about wanting another rematch. He’s no Christian (SCANDAL!) but he is the World Heavyweight Champion and his name is Randy Orton. He used to respect Christian but now he despises him and it’s over. Teddy says tonight there will be a 20 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Cody Rhodes and Ted come out and the belt looks awesome on him. He says Legacy has reunited and now Cody is a champion too. However, he won his without barbarism. The people here are hideous and he doesn’t care about them. He’ll be in the battle royal tonight and soon he’ll take the title. Cody says Ted has a voice and hands him the microphone.

Ted says they know Orton better than anyone. They know his weaknesses….and I guess Orton got bored because there’s an RKO for Ted. He and Cody stare each other down and Cody bails. Cody yells at Ted and demands he does something about this. Teddy says he’ll make Orton stand in the corner on one leg for ten minuets. Also he’s going to have to write “I will not RKO Ted DiBiase 100 times.” Since Ted can’t compete tonight Cody has to take his place and the title will be on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Smackdown will be live on Tuesday August 30. The bell is after a break. We get a clip of last week’s title change and the beating of Ted. It’s amazing how much better Jackson looks by just snarling. Jackson takes over with pure power to start as is his custom. Enziguri misses for Rhodes and an elbow gets two. A backdrop gets one and Jackson keeps up his domination. I guess he’s been listening to his own theme music.

Cody finally gets something going and hits a bulldog. That doesn’t last long as we’re back to the floor and Jackson sends him into the steps. The champ dropkicks the steps into the leg/knee and back inside we go. Jackson tries a quick rack but Cody gets another knee shot. The Beautiful Disaster (looked AWESOME as the foot smacked against Jackson’s face) hits and Cross Rhodes ends this at 3:38 totally clean.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what Rhodes needed. He hit the two big moves and planted Jackson for his second clean pin over him in a row. That should end the run for Jackson and he has no justification to challenge for the title anymore. This was decent stuff and I’m still loving that kick to the face.

Ryder comes up to Teddy in the back and says Alberto is on his way. Teddy isn’t happy with this because it was supposed to be Cena or Punk. Ryder says life is full of surprises like tonight when he wins the battle royal. Aksana comes in and more innuendo is made. She offers to watch the battle royal with him and Teddy gets all tongue tied and leaves.

Justin Gabriel is still in South Africa. I think we’ve seen this one before.

Justin Gabriel vs. Tyson Kidd

Well they had a great match on NXT a few weeks ago so I have high hopes here. We get some nice speed stuff to start and Tyson takes over with some shots to the face. Nice dropkick to the back of the head as the announcers are talking about fishing with sharks. A hard elbow gets two. Justin fires off with some kicks which get two. Kidd rolls through a springboard cross body and tries a leg lock but Justin escapes and hits an STO. Justin goes for the 450 and after knocking Kidd off the top the splash ends it at 4:23.

Rating: C+. They’re keeping the matches short tonight but I’m digging them. Justin and Kidd are both getting some solid TV time and the matches are getting better. The little clips from South Africa are nice touches as they’re giving us a reason to care about him which we didn’t have before. Good little TV match here and the 450 is great as always.

Mahal and Khali say they’ll win the battle royal tonight.

Ricardo brings out Alberto. There’s a nameplate on the title now. He says the exact same stuff he’s said for months now. It’s his destiny and he hurt Rey and all that jazz. It’s been a year since he’s gotten here and a lot of things have changed in that time span. We get a clip from Monday where he beat up Rey. Some kid has a sign saying Alberto isn’t champ. Uh, yeah he is. Alberto gives something like an open challenge.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course. Bryan wants to know why Del Rio cashed in like everyone else if he’s so special. The bell rings after a break as is usual. Feeling out process to start and Del Rio avoids a big swinging kick. He catches Bryan coming back in and stomps away. The golden banana hammocks are back. Off to an arm hold and a Daniel Bryan chant starts up. Bryan gets all ticked off and fires off some kicks for two.

The announcers talk about the HHH/Nash situation which is fine as it actually relates to the guys in the ring. Codebreaker to the arm off the middle rope takes Bryan down again and it’s back to an armbar. Sunset flip is blocked and Del Rio drops another elbow onto the arm for two. Time for a key lock which is at least a change of pace in the holds. Time for the Michael Cole Show as he rants about Bryan being a nerd and having a Youtube channel.

Now Cole is making fun of Bryan going to a drive-in movie. He goes on and on with it for like a minute and a half, making fun of Josh for going to see Cowboys and Aliens and for always being for the good guy. Bryan fights Del Rio off and rifles off some kicks in the corner. The look on Del Rio’s face is great as his face says “THAT REALLY HURT!”

Bryan fires off a clothesline and backdrops Del Rio over the top. Running knee off the apron hits Del Rio square in the face and looks great. Back inside the Mexican hits a German to the American for two. They go up top with their backs to the ring and Bryan reverses a belly to back superplex into a cross body as we go to a break.

Back with them slugging it out with some loud boo/yay going on. Running dropkick in the corner puts Alberto down. Ricardo is losing his enchiladas. Missile dropkick gets two. A big swinging kick misses and Bryan avoids a belly to back while still selling the arm. Bryan tilt-a-whirls into the guillotine choke but Del Rio manages to ram him into the corner and get a northern lights suplex into the cross armbreaker for the tap at 15:30 total. I’m watchin this one as it airs so that’s total time from bell to bell.

Rating: B. Solid match here as both guys looked good. Bryan doesn’t need to get a win here because he has a ton of time before he has to cash in. Del Rio needs wins like this and the one he got over Mysterio on Monday to give himself some credibility. This was good stuff and both guys looked good which is the whole idea.

Post match Del Rio goes for the arm even more until Sin Cara makes the save.

Henry says he should be #1 contender. He looks at the battle royal like a boat. Things are going to get rocky and 19 men are going overboard.

Kelly Kelly/AJ vs. Natalya/Alicia Fox

Nattie vs. AJ to start and the cute one (in plaid) is in trouble. Natalya is killing it here as we’re just waiting for the hot tag to Kelly to clean house. AJ finally fights her way to the tag and Kelly does her usual stuff. Alicia misses the axe kick and K2 ends this at 4:30. Just nothing to talk about here.

Rating: C. Eh this was fine all things considered. They’re really pushing Kelly strong as a “wrestler” but it’s not doing anything for me. The girls are almost entirely interchangeable other than Beth and Natalya to a degree. The matches aren’t as bad anymore though which is a nice break.

Post match Alicia yells at Natalya and Nattie puts her in a Sharpshooter on the floor to a big pop.

Same video of Axxess we’ve seem all week.

Orton comes out to watch the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Johnny Curtis, Ezekiel Jackson, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Jinder Mahal, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Yoshi Tatsu, William Regal, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Trent Barretta

I think that’s everyone at least. Only Sin Cara (clearly a different guy), Sheamus, Barrett (complete with coat) and Henry get entrances. Everyone goes after Henry immediately and that just fails. Barretta is out in about 15 seconds as is Tatsu. Khali is defending Mahal in the corner. There goes Curtis. Expect a lot of “so and so is out” because there isn’t anything else to say for the most part in these matches.

Slater is down in the corner and his torso is out. Khali chops Regal and the pain is evident. There goes Ryder to a pop. Booker saying Woo Woo Woo is funny stuff. Jackson puts the IC Champ out which I really hope doesn’t mean the feud continues. Jackson goes for Khali and hammers him in the corner which gets a nice reaction. The clothesline in the corner results in him getting chopped in the head and tossed though so Jackson is out.

Now Henry and Khali have the staredown and a Sin Cara chant starts up. They strike it out and Henry goes down from a chop. Punjabi Plunge is broken and Henry puts Khali out with relative ease. Mahal is FREAKING. Sheamus goes after Henry and down goes Henry again, falling under the ropes to the floor. Sheamus fakes Slater out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater out. Henry beats up Slater because he can.

After a break Sheamus and Mahal are almost out but no luck. There seem to be about ten or eleven left. According to Cole there are ten left. Regal was eliminated during the break. Henry is still chilling on the floor. Cara puts Gabriel out with a cross body but holds on. Henry beats Gabriel up as well. Sheamus eliminates both Usos and they’re Henry’s next meal, including one being thrown through the announce table. Orton is just sitting at ringside during this.

Henry is back in now. Ok so we have Sheamus, Barrett, Mahal, Henry, DiBiase, Sin Cara and Kidd. Henry tosses DiBiase and Mahal with ease and Cara eliminates Kidd. We’re down to four: Barrett, Sheamus, Henry and Sin Cara. The fans like Cara. The Europeans go after Henry and stomp him down in the corner. Cara is spent and is trying to get back up. Barrett takes Sheamus down (but not out) with a clothesline. Sheamus to the apron and Barrett joins him. They slug it out on the apron and Sheamus gets a kick to get us down to three.

Cara tries a dropkick to Sheamus but goes through the ropes instead. He dives at Sheamus but lands on the apron. Back in now and Sheamus drapes him on the ropes but can’t eliminate him. He sets for the kick but Henry grabs Sheamus and we’re down to two. Cara is up top and like an idiot tries a cross body which works but he tries a cover because he’s not that smart I guess. Henry presses him through the ropes so we’re back to a one on one match now. Cara tries a spinning cross body and gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam, letting Henry win at 16:42.

Rating: C. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was fine. Henry winning like this is a good choice because he’s the only one that is in position to challenge Orton. Nice to see Sin Cara getting some time in there as the fans are into him. Nothing great here but it’s a fine way to set up the next main event and that’s all they needed to do here.

Henry stares Orton down post match.

Overall Rating: A. I had a really good time with this show. Nothing is bad at all and the booking I almost totally agree with. Henry is really the only heel other than maybe Barrett that could be plugged into the main event right now so that makes perfect sense. Cody gets another clean win and we get a solid long match in the kind of win Del Rio needs at the moment. No complaints here at all.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Ezekiel Jackson – Cross Rhodes

Justin Gabriel b. Tyson Kidd – 450 Splash

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

AJ/Kelly Kelly b. Alicia Fox/Natalya – K2 to Fox

Mark Henry won a battle royal last eliminating Sin Cara