He didn’t actually do anything, but there’s a fatal fourway tonight to determine his opponent.  It’ll either be Sheamus, Big Show, Orton or Punk (read as: Punk).

Smackdown
Date: March 2, 2012
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Orton is back tonight and he’s facing Daniel Bryan after Bryan gave him the concussion that put him out. I don’t remember if I ever heard how legit that injury was. Anyway, that’s the main event and it should be good, but I’d be shocked if we got a clean finish to it. Expect more of the Bryan vs. Sheamus build as well as some more Ace vs. Long stuff. Let’s get to it.

We open with what looks more like a commercial for the show than an opening video. It’s about the main event.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is bronchitis.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show. He says he’s thinking about Wrestlemania and being in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe. FANS. THEY’RE CALLED FANS. When did that become a dirty word? I know “Members of the WWE Universe” has been their term for it for years now, but why is fans such a bad thing to say? Anyway he can’t wait to face Bryan. Bryan has become a changed man since he won the title, just like Sheamus did two years ago.

When Sheamus won his first world title, he became wrapped up in his own ego. However, he was lucky. He should have known that the WWE Title was the greatest trophy he could have earned. He became a bully instead though. You mean like he was before he won the title? What Sheamus needed was for someone to knock his block off. Bryan needs the same thing.

This brings out Vickie and Dolph for some reason. She liked his story but her favorite part was when Sheamus stopped talking. Ziggler says the people deserve to see him in the main event, not Sheamus. He says Sheamus’ hair is on fire. Sheamus says that joke is as old as Dolph’s grandmother Vickie. For some reason this leads to Vickie talking about Ace/Teddy and saying she’s the only non-McMahon to be GM of both shows. Teddy comes out and makes Dolph vs. Sheamus right now. I liked Sheamus’ promo here. He’s not the best talker in the world so keeping it simple is something that works well for him.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

The match is joined in progress after a break but it doesn’t look like we’ve missed much. There was an ad talking about how Ace will run Smackdown next week so the announcers talk about that for awhile. Ziggler hits a dropkick but Sheamus keeps smiling. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the back and the ten in the ropes. The fans clearly really like Sheamus but they’ve given him no character development at all. It’s a lost art in WWE anymore.

Ziggler goes to the floor. Booker says stay on your bicycle Dolph. There’s an image for you, complete with Benny Hill music. Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker coming back in to take over. Another neckbreaker gets two so Dolph drops some elbows for the same result. Sheamus fights out of a chinlock and hits his power shots to come back. Powerslam gets two. Ziggler locks on a sleeper but Sheamus powers out of it by ramming Ziggler into the corner and out to the floor.

Dolph comes off the top but jumps into the Irish Curse. It gets two as Vickie puts the foot on the ropes. Sheamus loads up the Celtic Cross (Sheamus’, not Finlay’s). Irish Curse The Sequel gets two. Sheamus pounds his chest and shouts Brogue so Vickie calls out Swagger. The Kick takes him down but Ziggler hits a Fameasser. That only gets two so he tries the Zig Zag. Sheamus holds the ropes and catches Ziggler in the new finisher which is now called the White Noise.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here with Sheamus continuing to roll over the upper midcard. Since they’re not going to give him and Bryan a concrete story, this works as well as anything else. Also it makes Sheamus look a lot stronger going into the PPV. At the end of the day though, he needs to pin Orton clean to really make himself look like the top challenger on Smackdown and I’m not sure I can see that. The other problem is that Bryan needs to be made to look strong also and I don’t think that’s going to happen.

We recap the Bryan vs. Punk stuff from Raw with the Battling Bosses.

Ace and Otunga are in Teddy’s office when Teddy comes in. Ace wants an apology for the attack by Teddy on Raw. Apparently Ace has a bad back now and its because of Teddy. Otunga is considering a civil suit against Teddy. Ace says an apology will do instead. Teddy says no because it made Ace look like “a cow on ice crossed with Sesame Street Big Bird.” Otunga vs. Khali on Monday. Ace suggests Teddy try yoga.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Santino attacks to start but the headbutt lands on knees. The announcers talk about Ace and Teddy. Cole: “See how tough he is?” Booker: “He used to have a skateboard. That’s how tough he is.” Anyway, Slater hits a Harlem Side Kick for two. He goes up but gets crotched and the Cobra ends it at 1:53.

Video on HHH vs. Undertaker, the same from Raw. The match simply isn’t as good as they’re trying to make it out to be. It’s very good. It’s a great match. It’s not this masterpiece that they’re pushing it as.

Natalya yells at Eve about Zach. Eve goes off on her about it and guess what Natalya winds up doing. You either want the Divas to be serious or you don’t. Pick one.

Natalya vs. Eve Torres

Natalya controls with a headlock and Booker has a thing for Eve. Now Booker diagnoses Natalya’s stomach issues. Eve slaps her so Natalya takes her down and pounds on her. Eve reverses a rollup into one of her own for the pin at 1:32.

Here’s Cody who has held the title for a very long time. If my math is right, if he holds the title until April 10, he’ll have held if for the longest reign since Rock’s in 97/98. Cody talks about Big Show’s Wrestlemania losses and shows some stills from the Akebono and Mayweather matches. Cody says Show should be thanking him for keeping Show out of Wrestlemania because Show would just floudner again. He’s got another Wrestlemania clip but Show cuts him off.

Cody runs into the crowd as soon as Show gets to the ring. Show says hang on a second. He wanted to watch the new clip with Cody like friends. Since Cody won’t come back though, Show better go get Cody. Cue Teddy who says hang on a minute. This isn’t Pamplona, Spain and Show can’t be running into the crowd like a bull. Show vs. Cody for the title is announced for Wrestlemania. That’s the second time the IC Title will be on the line at Mania since 2002.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Show takes him down to start but Henry fights back and clotheslines Show to the floor. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Show is sent into the timekeeper’s area. He gets back to the apron at 8 but Henry rams him into the exposed buckle as we take a break. Back with Henry pounding him down and Cody on commentary. Back to the floor and Henry rams Show’s back into the post.

With Show still against the post, Mark throws the steps at him. Since that would result in probable death, Show moves. Henry knocks him down again and hits a Vader Bomb for two. Show hits a superkick and a “spear” (it was a shoulder block) to take Henry down. Show sets for the chokeslam but gets caught in the Slam for two. So long Henry, hope you enjoyed your time in the main event. Henry charges into the corner but walks into the WMD for the pin at 5:22 shown of 8:52.

Rating: C-. It’s such a shame to see someone like Henry who has raised his game so much over the last six months and shocked the world by becoming a legit world champion to be sent down to this because of the way the WWE main event pushes work. Instead of going and feuding with a midcard face, they need to have him against other top good guys and losing, making his whole summer of dominance seem like it was nothing at all. Such is life in the WWE anymore.

Teddy tells Drew if he loses he’s fired. Again.

Orton says he’s back to normal, which means angry and wanting revenge. Bryan decided to pay the price and tonight Orton is going to collect.

Drew McIntyre vs. Justin Gabriel

Drew starts by blocking a kick and getting a clothesline for two. Another spin kick misses and Drew hits a big boot for two. Into the corner but Drew’s tilt-a-whirl slam is countered into a DDT. Gabriel goes up and hits the 450 for the pin at 1:44. Justin hit two moves the whole match.

Teddy pops up on screen and fires Drew. At least until next week when Ace rehires him because he sees a lot of potential in him or something. They mentioned that Ace discovered Drew and brought him to WWE in the first place during the match.

We get ALL of Rock and Cena from Monday. The version I watch is divided into 6 fifteen minute parts. I literally skipped all of part 5 because of this. There was NOTHING in there they could clip?

Daniel Bryan says he hasn’t changed since he won the title. He’s still the same down to Earth person who was born and raised in Aberdeen, Washington. However he moved to Vegas as soon as possible. He calls himself a role model and talks about how he beat Giant and Henry in a cage and five others in the Elimination Chamber.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

The fans are split on Bryan. Orton sends him to the floor quickly and throws Bryan into things. He sends Bryan into the steps and kicks Bryan’s head into them. Back in Orton loads up a superplex but Bryan shoves him off and takes over. Knee to the head gets two as we take a break. Back with Bryan working over the arm and shoulder. Booker says that he’ll never call Bryan D-Bry again. Bryan stays on the shoulder but Orton hits a dropkick to get some seperation.

Booker runs down AJ now, calling Bryan her meal ticket. Is AJ really a heel, or does she just associate with one? I’m not exactly sure. The dropkick gets two. Bryan kicks him in the shoulder so Orton throws him into the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered twice and Bryan heads to the floor. Orton follows him and loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor….but here’s Kane. Didn’t see that one coming. The bell rings, presumably for a countout since Kane hasn’t touched anyone, at 6:30 shown of 10:00.

Rating: C. Well we knew it wasn’t going to be a clean finish. I’d assume this is going to set up Kane vs. Orton at Wrestlemania. That’s a feud I’ve always wanted to see as I’m a fan of both guys. It’s as good as anything else they’re going to get and it gives them both something to do. The match was just ok though as they didn’t have the time to get anything good going.

Orton goes straight at Kane for no apparent reason. Kane might have been coming to ask Booker if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies. They go into the ring but Kane is clotheslined to the floor. He pulls Orton out and they brawl on the floor for a bit. Back inside and Orton’s shoulder goes into the post. A chokeslam puts Randy down and Kane wants a mic. He says welcome back Randy and that’s it.

Ace says it’s Kane vs. Aksana next week.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot. This is more the Smackdown style: steady as it goes and set up matches for the PPV. Here we set up the IC Title match, Kane vs. Orton and they furthered the Smackdown world title match. With four weeks to go until the PPV, that’s a pretty solid show as far as building to the PPV. I could have done without 1/6 of the show being about Cena vs. Rock though. They could have cut that down to about five minutes and it would have been fine. Better show than most recent ones here though.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – White Noise
Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra
Eve Torres b. Natalya – Rollup
Justin Gabriel b. Drew McIntyre – 450 Splash
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 1, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

This is another special edition of the show called Social Media Smackdown. In other words, the show is heavily themed around things like Twitter, Tout and whatever else is popular in that area of technology. I’m not entirely sure how we’re supposed to hear live from fans during a taped show, but I’m sure WWE has some “clever” idea in mind to solve this dilemma. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Orton and Sheamus attacking the Shield on Monday in a surprise attack.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Damien Sandow

Non-title. On the way to the ring, Sandow complains about the poor sentence structure that the champion and Ricardo both use. He also doesn’t like the spit bucket that Ricardo carries for some reason. Sandow is only accomplished by his good looks and jealous gazes of the unwashed masses. Alberto makes fun of Damien’s breath and we’re ready to go. They fight over a lockup to start until Sandow gets a quick shoulder to knock Del Rio down.

The champion comes back with one of his own and Damien heads to the apron. Back in and Sandow hooks a headlock before stomping away in the corner. We get some tweets on the bottom of the screen to meet the social media requirement of the match. Some of the commentary is indeed new though as we hear Cole talk about some news stories from Friday.

Alberto comes back with a slam and a middle rope moonsault for two. Sandow hooks a chinlock to no avail as Del Rio comes back with la majistral (rolling cradle) for two. Damien is right back with a clothesline for a near fall of his own though as the fast pace continues. Sandow jumps into a kick to the ribs and gets backdropped out to the apron. An enziguri puts him on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Damien slamming Del Rio down and dropping the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Sandow drops some knees into the champion’s ribs and hooks a chinlock with his knee in the back. Del Rio fights up and hooks a German suplex to escape, putting both guys down. Back up and they slug it out until the Del Rio comes back with some clotheslines and a backbreaker. A low superkick gets two on Sandow as Swagger and Colter are watching in the back.

The cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic (reverse X-Factor) for two. Del Rio sends Sandow into the ropes and spins him around, allowing for some forearms to the back and a Backstabber for another near fall. Alberto loads up something in the corner but charges into a boot, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two more for Sandow. He loads Del Rio into the Terminus but Alberto counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 9:42 shown of 13:12.

Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting with both guys moving very quickly. The idea here was great with both guys getting to show off and look good in a match where they both benefit. Del Rio gets a win over someone who isn’t bad and Sandow gets to look good against the world champion. Above all else though: this is a fresh match. We haven’t seen these two fight, or at least not in awhile.

We get some clips from the masterpiece of Cena vs. Punk on Raw.

HELL NO is in the back and they talk about facing the Prime Time Players again tonight but with the handicaps from Raw reversed: tonight Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm behind his back. Kane says fine but Bryan yells because Kane doesn’t know what it’s like to be blinded in a match. Kane is happy because he doesn’t have to look at Bryan’s ugly goat face during the match. Bryan says no a lot.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is 2/3 falls and Miz is challenging. No jacket of flag for Cesaro this time. Miz grabs a fast rollup for two but Cesaro takes him to the mat with ease. He puts a headlock on Miz before running him over with a shoulder for two. Miz hits a back elbow of his own for one and kicks Cesaro in the face for two more. The champion heads to the floor for a breather but back inside Miz goes after the knee. Antonio heads to the floor again, only to get caught by a sunset flip back inside.

A knee to the ribs puts Miz down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz fights up and hits a clothesline, only to charge into a kind of torture rack slam for two. Cool looking move by Cesaro there. A rollup gets two for Miz but Cesaro Neutralizes him for the first fall at 4:02. We take a break and come back with the score tied up. Apparently Miz won a fall with the Figure Four during a break. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Miz charges into the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the chinlock.

The challenger fights up and stars raining down left hands on Cesaro but the champion calls Miz a stupid American, earning himself a slap. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) is countered and Cesaro throws Miz into the air for the European Uppercut for a very close two. Cesaro taunts Miz, only to have the weak knee taken out for two.

They slug it out from their knees with Miz taking over and pounding away on Cesaro in the corner. The running clothesline in the corner sets up the top rope double ax handle for no cover. Back to the knee and there’s the Figure Four but Antonio makes the rope. Miz tries the hold again but Cesaro kicks him off. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Miz but Cesaro reverses into one of his own, pulling the trunks for the pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: C+. Another decent match getting some length here and both guys got to look pretty good. It was annoying having the second fall on the WWE App but I guess we need to make sure we get it if we want to see the full match. Also they just didn’t have time for the wrestling stuff tonight because we need to TOUT STUFF later on in the show or something. Decent match here and hopefully this ends this feud, although odds are it won’t given the finish.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back and Shemaus wants Randy to worry about the Shield. Orton says he has to worry about Big Show tonight so Sheamus offers to watch his back. Randy actually takes him up on the offer.

Video on Fandango who debuts tonight.

Here’s good old JR to interview Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. JR talks about how he recruited Swagger to wrestle when he was playing football at the University of Oklahoma. Swagger insults the Sooners and Colter says they gave JR this interview because he’s a real American. We get a clip from September when Swagger walked out on Raw. Colter answers for him, saying that he taught Swagger the truth about what happens in America everyday.

JR doesn’t understand so Colter talks about how WWE is a microcosm of what America is like. Colter thinks it’s interesting that Swagger could go on a losing streak and leave at the same time someone like Alberto Del Rio comes in and takes what should belong to Jack. Colter goes into his usual schtick about illegal immigrants taking jobs from Americans. Remarkably in one of the most conservative states in the country, no one seems to disagree. Colter says that Del Rio doesn’t share the same values that he and Swagger do, so Del Rio needs to leave the country. Zeb compares Del Rio to rotten fruit that should be trashed.

Colter talks about Swagger winning the title at Wrestlemania but JR suggests that Colter is brainwashing Swagger. Apparently whatever talking Swagger and JR had done in the past means nothing anymore and JR needs to be quiet before something bad happens to him. Swagger gets in JR’s face and shoves him into the corner while calling JR a sympathizer. This brings out Del Rio who stands between JR and Swagger before saying that Swagger and Colter are the problems before saying he’s the solution. That’s a very good line and it ends the segment.

Your choices to face Del Rio next week are Ziggler, Barrett and Cesaro. The winner will be announced later tonight.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Non-title, Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm tied behind his back. After a break, Kane puts a hood on over his mask but it has a goat face on it. Funny stuff. Bryan has Kane start with Young so Darren has some fun. He tries to trip Kane up in a school boy but the masked man catches on. Darren: “IT DIDN’T WORK TITUS!” Kane catches up to Darren and slams him down before Bryan tags himself in. After some kicks to the chest, a one arm crucifix gets two on Young. It’s off to Titus and we take a break.

Back with Daniel escaping from Titus and bringing in Kane. The fans help Kane find Titus in the corner and there’s a hip toss by Kane, but he can’t find Titus again. Young comes in off a tag and walks into a chokeslam but Young rolls away from the cover. Bryan tags himself in but Kane grabs the referee by the throat. Bryan tries to call him off so Kane grabs Bryan with the other hand. Kane eventually feels the beard and lets Bryan go, but the distraction lets Titus roll Daniel up for the pin at 3:55 shown of 7:25.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was. Is it that Bryan and Kane fight a lot? That’s fine I guess, but they did this same idea on Raw on Monday. It certainly wasn’t to push the Players as the division has already died off again. It wasn’t for comedy because other than the goat face hood, nothing on here was funny.

Post match Kane sees the goat face on the hood and is ticked off. Of all the costumes he’s worn over the years, that’s the one that offends him? Bryan wants a hug but Kane puts the hood on him and smacks Bryan in the face.

Big Show says he’ll chokeslam Orton tonight.

Here’s Chris Jericho live via Skype where it’s the afternoon. He’s on tour with Fozzie and bands like Metallica and Anthrax and plugs the replay of Robot Combat League after Smackdown. That’s that apparently.

We meet Fandango in the back where he rubs his chest and criticizes Striker for his pronunciation of the name. We get some lessons in how to say Fandango before Striker asks him about his fighting style. Fandango says that he’s accomplished everything in the ballroom so now it’s time to take his rhythm and grace to the ring. Striker says Fandango’s debut is up next against what sounds like Zack Ryder, but Fandango says the debut isn’t happening until Striker gets his name right before walking off. Oh dear indeed.

We recap Lesnar returning to attack Vince and HHH returning to fight off Lesnar, busting him open in the process.

Del Rio faces Ziggler next week with over 50% of the vote.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

During Orton’s entrance we get a clip from Raw of Orton and Sheamus distracting the Shield, allowing Orton to hit an RKO on Rollins. Orton avoids the chop in the corner to start and pounds away on the giant. Show knocks him back down and fires off a headbutt to stagger Orton. The big mane takes over and things slow down as he pounds away at Orton’s midsection. Show crushes him in the corner but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Big Show slamming elbows into Orton’s shoulder to keep him in trouble. Show hooks a short arm scissors but Randy fights up with some right hands. That gets him nowhere though as Big Show takes him right back down with the Final Cut for two. Show goes to the middle rope but his elbow from there hits the mat, allowing Orton to keep living.

Orton pounds away at the head and counters the chokeslam into a DDT for two. They head to the floor where Orton sends Big Show head first into the post to slow him down even more. Back in and Orton kicks Big Show in the jaw, allowing him to hit the Elevated DDT. Before he can follow up though, here comes the Shield. Big Show is still down so Orton is caught 3-1. Here’s Sheamus before Shield can get in the ring and it’s 3-2. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as the match is thrown out I’m guessing. For the time, we’ll say it was 7:00 shown of about 10:30.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty slow paced but it was jut there for the post match stuff. There’s nothing wrong with that at all and it allowed for Big Show to prove he hasn’t fallen far off the radar after losing the title. The Shield stuff is the important stuff though so let’s get to that already.

Orton and Sheamus get caught in the numbers game but Big Show gets back up and knocks Reigns out cold. Rollins and Ambrose don’t know what to think so they run away. This didn’t come off as a turn for Big Show but rather him fighting someone he perceived as an imminent threat. Big Show knocks Orton out with a punch so Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down.

Overall Rating: C+. The first 45 minute or so were really solid but then things started to taper off in a hurry. The social media stuff wound up meaning nothing although the version I watched which aired before it aired in America had slightly different commentary and didn’t include the JBL or Jericho interviews, the Call trailer or the Del Rio poll stuff. Still though, the social media stuff meant nothing at all for the most part. The show tonight was ok though and it looks like it set up a six man tag for Wrestlemania.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross armbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. The Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Prime Time Players b. HELL NO – Rollup to Bryan

Randy Orton vs. Big Show went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2013
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Tonight is a big show as we have two major matches: Punk vs. Cena for Cena’s title shot and Vince having a fight with Paul Heyman. Other than that, Undertaker returned at a house show on Saturday and there’s a chance that he could be back tonight. There’s also the possibility of Lesnar being in the house, but most importantly of all: WE GET TO MAKE FUN OF GLENN BECK! Odds are we get a midget sighting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brock attacking Vince a few weeks back as well as the scene from last week with Cena challenging Punk.

Here’s Vince on crutches to open the show. He says we need something big on Raw every week until Wrestlemania so why not start with a fight. Vince should be able to do this one one leg or no legs, so let’s bring out the Ultimate Fighter, Paul Heyman. Cue Heyman himself in what I guess you would call fighting clothes. He’s in workout pants and what looks to be a workout sweatshirt.

Heyman insults the Dallas Cowboys before talking about how he’s seen Vince take on every promoter as well as the US Government. He offers Vince a chance to make an executive decision, but as he’s talking Paul spears down Vince and takes out the knee. A crutch shot to the leg keeps Vince down but Vince blocks the other crutch shot. He hits Heyman in the back with it but here’s Lesnar.

Heyman has rolled to the floor so it’s just Brock and Vince alone in the ring. Lesnar stares Vince down and is ready to go but Vince wisely begs off. Cue HHH as Vince bails to the floor. He’s got the leather jacket and the water bottle so you can tell this is serious. The fight is on immediately and HHH sends Lesnar into the post, apparently busting him open. Another post shot has Lesnar reeling and a clothesline puts Brock into the timekeeper’s area.

HHH goes to get a crutch but it allows Brock to fight back. Lesnar hits an AA (not an F5 but an AA) to put HHH onto the announce table. We head back inside with Brock bringing in a chair, only to walk into a spinebuster. A big chair shot to Brock’s back sends him to the floor and there’s a BIG blood stain on the mat. HHH stands tall.

Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler

No intro for Mr. MITB. Ryback easily picks Ziggler up and throws him around to start but walks into a dropkick for one. Ziggler tries to keep things moving fast but he charges into a powerslam to put him right back down. A few chops in the corner stagger Ziggler as the fans chant Goldberg. Ryback hits a modified Oklahoma Stampede (powerslam out of the corner) to send Ziggler to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler caught in a long delayed vertical suplex. We see about twenty seconds of it so who knows how long it actually was. Dolph rolls to the floor so Ryback goes to retrieve him, only to have Langston take Ryback’s head off with a clothesline. Back in and Ryback shoves Ziggler away, only to get caught in a running DDT for two.

The Fameasser misses so there’s a sleeper on Ryback instead. Ryback counters with a kind of Stunner and starts throwing Ziggler around like he isn’t even there. AJ gets on the apron but Langston’s interference doesn’t work. Ryback hits a kind of spinebuster to Ziggler and Dolph is Shell Shocked for the pin at 11:08.

Rating: C+. It’s nice to see Ryback get a big win again and who better to get one on than the reigning king of the jobbers of WWE? Langston vs. Ryback is likely going to be talked about now, despite the fact that they don’t need to fight just because they’re similar. Anyway, decent match here and good to see Ryback get a win for a change.

Trailer for The Call, starring Halle Berry and with David Otunga.

Here’s CM Punk with something to say. He says that tonight is a night of history and a night that people are going to tell their grandchildren about. It’s the end as well as the beginning but tonight isn’t about Wrestlemania or the people. It isn’t even about the WWE Championship. It’s not about the future and what is more important than the Rock: it’s about PUNK. Punk goes into a big rant about how he important he is before finally saying that in this world, he is god.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame: Donald Trump. Given how much he’s done with Wrestlemania over the years, this shouldn’t be a big surprise.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Khali chops him into the corner to start and Henry rolls to the floor. Back inside and Henry easily hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 1:24. This was nothing.

We get a look at Marine 3 starring the Miz.

Fandango debuts Friday on Smackdown.

Here’s Miz for MizTV with guests Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. After a break, Miz wants to talk to Jack and Zeb to start things off. Zeb says he’s here to talk to Gleen Beck but since he chickened out, he’ll take Del Rio instead. Colter talks about the problem in America: eleven million undocumented workers who are all calling for amnesty instead of being deported. Those eleven million illegals (his word) are making it harder for Americans by taking things that belong to honest Americans. Alberto cuts Colter off but Miz says let the champion talk.

Miz asks Del Rio how hard it is to become a citizen in Mexico. Colter says it takes ten years to become a citizen in Mexico because of all the corruption. Also foreigners can’t own property in Mexico. Colter wants to know what’s wrong with Mexicans in that regard. Zeb says this isn’t personal, but rather it’s about what Del Rio represents to his people. Colter wants there to only be one Alberto Del Rio success story because he doesn’t want more criminals in his country.

Del Rio goes on a rant about how America belongs to everyone and how America is built on immigrants. He talks about the American Dream of working hard to make everything possible. Del Rio calls himself living proof of that and says Swagger and Colter are hiding behind the Constitution like bullies. Swagger says WE THE PEOPLE will see Del Rio at Wrestlemania.

During the commercial, Colter yelled at Miz for conducting a biased interview, allowing Swagger to run Miz over with a clothesline.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

Orton hits a quick elbow to start followed by a t-bone suplex of all things for two. Cesaro comes back with the gutwrench suplex for two of his own and we hit the chinlock. Orton easily fights out of it and hits the powerslam to load up the Elevated DDT. Cesaro will have none of that though and snaps Randy’s neck across the top rope. The backbreaker puts Cesaro into the corner though, only for him to get a boot up. Cesaro goes to the middle rope and dives into the RKO for the surprise pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. The ending was good but did we really need to see the US Champion lose in three minutes completely clean? That’s the second straight loss in a row on Raw for Cesaro which makes me think he’ll be champion for a long time to come. Nothing to see here and I have no idea what either guy will be doing at Mania.

HELL NO argues over which of them could beat the Prime Time Players on their own. Vickie and Maddox come up to annoy the champions. Due to what Kane and Bryan argued over earlier, the match against the Players will have Kane with one arm tied behind his back and Bryan blindfolded.

We get a trailer for Wrestlemania 21 (you read that right) with JBL and Cena imitating the climax of A Few Good Men.

Next up: Sheamus’ Oscar snubs?

Here’s Sheamus in a suit to talk about the Oscars last night. He watched the Oscars last night and he has a bone to pick with the Academy: they ignored Wade Barrett. This leads us to the trailer for Dead Man Down which has nothing from Barrett in it. Sheamus shows us another clip with Barrett in the background but not saying a word. “Tom Hanks wishes he could have done Forrest Gump that good!”

This brings out Barrett with a rebuttal. Wade talks about how the Irish love green and that’s apparent right now given how jealous Sheamus clearly is right now. Tomorrow night Barrett is going to be walking a red carpet while Sheamus returns his suit. Sheamus says make sure the camera get your good side but with a nose like that, the good side doesn’t exist. They nearly brawl but Barrett bails so he can look good at his premiere tomorrow.

Cody Rhodes vs. R-Truth

Damien Sandow is on commentary. Truth speeds things up to start and Damien calls the hip thrusting disgusting. Cody kicks Truth’s leg in the corner and hits a release front suplex to take over. The announcers talk about bromances which apparently appears in the dictionary. Cody hooks a full nelson on the mat but Truth fights up. Cody sends him into the rope but gets caught in a bad looking Little Jimmy for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Sandow runs in and is quickly dispatched.

We get a Zeb Colter/Jack Swagger video about Americans losing their jobs to illegal immigrants. They promise to correct the wrongs in this country.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Bryan is blindfolded and Kane has an arm tied behind his back. Bryan and Titus start but Daniel grabs the referee for the NO Lock by mistake. The Players mess with Bryan with the whistles and Titus hits a clothesline to the back of the head to take over. Off to Young who sends Bryan to the floor where Kane tries to help him. Bryan hits Kane by mistake before heading back in. Young misses a charge into the post and Kane tags himself in. After beating up Young for a bit, a one armed chokeslam is enough to pin Darren at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was your standard comedy match that was missing the comedy. I’m not sure what this was supposed to accomplish other than making the Players look even more worthless than they already do. Bryan and Kane still fight but they still win matches so who knows where it’s going. Other than Shield, is there anyone around that could beat them anyway?

We recap the opening fight with HHH vs. Lesnar.

Here’s the Shield with something to say. Ambrose talks about how they’re what’s best for WWE right now and any three man team they send out will be dispatched just like the others. Reigns says believe in the Shield or be turned into dust. Rollins talks about the three wins they’ve had over super team after super team. He asks if there’s anyone else to fight them and here’s Sheamus. He says come up here and fight him but as Ambrose and Reigns go after him, Orton sneaks in with an RKO to take out Rollins. I saw those two team up against Shield at a house show a few weeks ago so they’ve been practicing.

Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

This was set up by Swagger’s sneak attack earlier. Miz knocks him to the floor to start but Swagger rams him into the apron to take over. Back in and a shot to the back staggers Miz as the fans chant for the non-super patriot. Miz kicks away at Jack’s knee but gets clotheslined right back down. A suplex floors Miz again and there’s the Vader Bomb for two. Off to a quick armbar on Miz but he comes back with a neckbreaker to get himself a breather.

Swagger suplexes him back down for two but charges into a boot. Miz hits the running clothesline in the corner followed by the top rope ax handle for two. A sunset flip gets two more for Miz but Swagger breaks up a DDT. He shoves Miz into the ropes where Miz’s ankle is tied up, giving Swagger the opening he needs. A chop block takes Miz down and the Patriot Lock ends this at 7:13.

Rating: C. Swagger isn’t terrible but he’s still too similar to what he was just a year or so ago. Either way, the match here was basic but ok. I’m guessing there isn’t going to be any public embarrassment for Swagger after the incident last week, but maybe they’re going to punish him behind the scenes. Match was just ok.

After Lawler and Cole plug Sonic for a bit, we look at a video from the end of last week with the debut of the new title and Punk attacking Cena.

We get a Tout from HHH about Lesnar and we see the opening brawl again.

Here are some Touts from fans about what we saw earlier. Nothing of note here.

Cena talks about how important this match against Punk is. He talks about how tonight it’s about to going to Wrestlemania and he requested this match to prove that he’s back. If you still believe in him, you’ll believe that everyone else’s time is up and our time is now.

We get a clip of Robot Combat League hosted by Chris Jericho.

We get a clip of Undertaker returning at a show in Waco this past weekend.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I usually write these ratings before the main event but I had to redo it because of that match. That raised this from a B- to what it is here. That’s happened maybe once in all the years I’ve been doing this. The main event really is that good and you need to find a copy of it as soon as you can.

As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t a masterpiece but the most important thing here is that we can see the Wrestlemania card taking shape. We have our title matches and tonight it looks like some stuff was set up, but Shield vs. Orton/Sheamus doesn’t make sense as it looked like they were setting up Sheamus vs. Barrett. Either is a good option but the tag match probably fits better. Either way, the energy tonight was a good sign and I’m fired up for the Old School show next week. Oh and did I mention a GREAT main event? Very good but not great stuff here.

Results

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Randy Orton b. Antonio Cesaro – RKO

R-Truth b. Cody Rhodes – Little Jimmy

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Chokeslam to Young

John Cena b. CM Punk – Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at

Smackdown
Date: February 22, 2013
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Elimination Chamber is over and we’ve got our world title match from Smackdown set. Jack Swagger will be facing Alberto Del Rio, assuming he doesn’t do something stupid like get arrested for driving under the influence and have marijuana found on him between now and then. Other than that…..actually there isn’t much else confirmed right now. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Alberto keeping the title over Del Rio and Swagger winning the Chamber. We also get a clip from Raw with Rock unveiling the new title belt and Punk laying out Cena with the old one.

Ricardo opens the show by bringing out Del Rio. Alberto says the two of them are going to Wrestlemania to face the winner of the Elimination Chamber Jack Swagger. Apparently Swagger has a new friend and the two of them think that they’re everything that is right about America. Alberto has seen all of Swagger’s videos and his state of the union on Raw.

Swagger claims that immigrants like Alberto are taking opportunities and jobs but Del Rio says the country was built by immigrants. This gets a lukewarm response in Mississippi. Del Rio says that the world title is a result of his hard work and the American Dream. Swagger is a real jackass, not a real American. If Swagger wants to talk about handouts, come out here and Alberto will put his hand out all over Swagger’s face.

Instead he gets Orton of all people. Before Randy can say anything, the fans start a big Randy Orton chant. He says he was this close to winning in the Chamber and earning a shot at Alberto at Wrestlemania. However that was taken from him by Jack Swagger in a quick rollup. Now Orton can’t complain about that because he would do the same thing in Swagger’s spot, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to hurt Jack. Orton asks Alberto to step aside and let him fight Swagger tonight. This brings out Booker and makes Del Rio vs. Barrett and Orton vs. Swagger. Well at least it’s not a tag match.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

This can be added to the list of matches that we’ve seen WAY too many times in the last four months. Sheamus pounds away to start but the guy in pink and purple (he’s a genius but can’t color coordinate?) punches back. We head to the floor and the pale one whips him into the barricade to take over again. Back in and Sheamus grabs Damien to load up the ten forearms to the chest. Sandow bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Damien holding a chinlock followed by the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Sandow fires off some forearms to the face before hooking another chinlock. Sheamus fights up but gets put in 619 position for a running hip attack from Sandow. That gets two and we hit chinlock #3. Sheamus fights up again but gets rammed chest first into the barricade to slow him back down. The Terminus is countered but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise. The Brogue Kick misses too and Damien goes for the leg. That goes nowhere either though as Sheamus hits White Noise. The Brogue Kick finishes clean at 8:43 shown of 12:13.

Rating: C. I like both guys but I wish they would find some new people for Sheamus to beat up. The problem here is that we’ve seen this match so many times that there’s no reason to care about Sheamus beating Sandow up anymore. I hope Sandow doesn’t get lost in the shuffle now that the Scholars are broken up because he was showing a lot of potential on his own before the team formed.

Video on Wrestlemania coming to New Orleans.

Video on the Shield and their dominance over the past few months.

Layla/Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Earlier today, Kaitlyn ran into Cody and said she likes his mustache. Layla and Aksana start with a dance off and Layla hits her in the face with her barely there shorts. Off to Kaitlyn for a chinlock but a Tamina distraction lets Aksana knock her to the floor. Back in and a side slam gets two for Aksana so she crawls over to Kaitlyn on all fours.

Off to a headscissors choke which Aksana turns over and uses to ram Kaitlyn’s head into the mat. Kaitlyn easily fights out and makes the tag off to Layla who hits a dropkick to the ribs of Tamina. Snuka catches a cross body and puts Layla on her shoulders but the British chick tags in Kaitlyn. A quick spear from the champion (Kaitlyn) is enough to end Tamina at 3:30.

Rating: D. Well since Kaitlyn has now beaten Tamina twice in five days, it’s pretty clear that Snuka will be up for a title shot very soon. Layla has reached new levels of annoying with her dancing and the “L.O.L.” cross body. This bubbly personality thing is really annoying but those shorts keep getting smaller and smaller so it’s difficult to complain. This was the usual lame Divas match.

Layla looks at the belt post match so there’s the next “feud.”

We get the ENTIRE Rock/Cena/Punk segment from Raw.

Swagger and Colter are on the way to the ring when Barrett stops them. He says he agrees with what they say but Colter doesn’t care what Barrett thinks because Barrett is from England. That means Barrett is taking a job from an American so he’s part of the problem. Well that’s different.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

They lock up with Swagger being shoved into the corner and stomped down. A belly to back suplex gets two for Orton and a clothesline keeps Swagger down. Off to a chinlock by Orton but Swagger comes back with a belly to back suplex of his own for two. A shoulder block keeps Orton down but Randy pops up and hits the standing dropkick followed by the circle stomp to Swagger’s limbs. A knee drop ends the circling and gets a two count.

Swagger comes back again and wraps Orton’s leg around the post. Back in and he loads up the ankle lock, only for Orton to roll out of the hold. They head back to the floor where Randy hits the Thesz Press and pounds on Jack’s head. Orton is all fired up now and hits a bit clothesline to put Swagger down again as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Orton pounding away on Jack’s head again. Swagger gets thrown to the apron for the Elevated DDT but Jack counters with a backdrop to send Orton to the outside again. Orton’s shoulder is sent into the post as Swagger finally gets an advantage. The shoulder goes into the steps as well which gets two back inside. A kind of powerslam puts Randy down and a kick to the head gets two. Off to a double arm trap by Swagger but Orton quickly elbows out.

Jack gets backdropped out to the floor as the mirroring of moves continues. Randy sends him ribs first into the barricade and they head back inside. Swagger hits a quick chop block and the Vader Bomb out of the corner for two. Josh talks about Smurfs for no apparent reason as Orton counters a suplex into one of his own. Swagger misses a charge into the post and Orton starts up his finishing sequence.

Jack blocks the backbreaker though and loads up the Vader Bomb. Orton pops up and kicks Jack in the ribs so that the second attempt at the backbreaker works. There’s the Elevated DDT but Colter pulls Swagger to the floor before the RKO can hit. Jack pokes Randy in the eye and grabs a quick rollup (just like Sunday) for the pin at 13:26 shown of 16:56.

Rating: B. I was really digging this match by the end with the counters and mirroring each others’ moves. Swagger winning with the same thing he did on Sunday was a nice touch and the match came off really well. While it was cheating that won the match for Swagger, it wasn’t big time cheating which makes him look a bit stronger than a usual nefarious pin would have. Good stuff here.

The replay shows Swagger had a foot on the bottom rope too.

If you haven’t gotten enough recaps tonight, here’s the segment from Raw with Vince saying that he’s fighting Heyman on Monday and that Brad Maddox is the new assistant to Vickie.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

On the way to the ring, Cody talks about having a mustache. Scratch that actually as it’s a lovestache. Cody takes him to the mat to start and sends Miz’s bad shoulder into the buckle to take over. Off to a quick shoulder lock but Miz fights up. Cody calmly hits him in the shoulder again though and takes control right back.

Miz comes back with some shots to the ribs but Cody hits a knee to the head for two. Back to the arm hold by Rhodes for a bit until Miz fights up and hits a big boot to the face. Miz misses a charge into the corner and hits his shoulder again so Cody loads up the Alabama Slam. Miz slides out though and trips Cody down. The Figure Four (a decent one too) gets the submission for Miz at 3:54.

Rating: D+. I know he’s gotten better at it, but man alive the Figure Four does not suit Miz. Also there was zero leg work done at all until the very end of the match which makes Cody look even weaker. On top of that, didn’t we see this match twice in the last week and a half? As I said with the opening match, repeating the same match over and over again doesn’t make it interesting. It makes me want to not pay attention.

Wade Barrett vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. I saw this match at a house show about a week and a half ago and liked what I saw so hopefully this holds up. Before the match here’s Swagger to scout Del Rio. Barrett goes for a wristlock to start but Alberto kicks him in the leg to break it up. Wade stops to yell at Ricardo, allowing Del Rio to fire off some kicks to the ribs. Barrett is sent to the floor where he goes after Ricardo, allowing Del Rio to take him out with a baseball slide.

We take a break and come back with Barrett pounding away before he shoves Alberto off the ropes and out to the floor. After sending Del Rio into the steps we head back inside for a chinlock. Back up and Barrett hits the pumphandle slam for two followed by the big boot to Del Rio while he’s in the ropes. A few elbow drops get a two count on Alberto and it’s back to the chinlock. Alberto fights up again though and hits a quick middle rope dropkick to put Barrett down.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker hits Barrett and Del Rio is all fired up. He hits the low superkick for two as we keep cutting back to Swagger and Colter. Alberto gets a running start but charges into the Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered and Del Rio sends him into the corner for a Backstabber, getting two. Swagger starts coming down the aisle and Barrett uses the distraction to get a fast rollup with a handful of trunks for two. I thought that was it. A big boot puts Alberto down but the Bull Hammer misses. The cross armbreaker goes on and Barrett taps out at 8:46 shown of 12:16.

Rating: C+. These two have a good chemistry together and the match here worked pretty well. Swagger coming down didn’t really add anything but I don’t think it was supposed to. Above all else though: this was a fresh matchup. It’s so annoying to see the same people fight each other over and over, so having these two go at it for the first time on TV was a nice touch.

Swagger and Del Rio stare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling on here was decent and there were two quite good matches, but the recaps CRIPPLED this show. I don’t need 20 minutes of a two hour show being spent on stuff that I’ve already seen. That being said, odds are a lot of this show won’t mean much because of Swagger being a lunkhead after the show was over. Decent show, but good grief if I wanted to know what happened on Raw, I WOULD FREAKING WATCH RAW!

Results

Sheamus b. Damien Sandow – Brogue Kick

Layla/Kaitlyn b. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Jack Swagger b. Randy Orton – Rollup

The Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four

Alberto Del Rio b. Wade Barrett – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2013
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Elimination Chamber was last night and the most important thing is we have our title matches at Mania (presumably) set. Rock is defending against Cena while Del Rio is going to defend against Swagger, assuming nothing is added to either match. Other than that Cena/Ryback/Sheamus were upset by the Shield in their six man tag. Tonight we continue the build to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last night, highlighting all of the major matches.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how ten months ago, the location for Wrestlemania 29 was announced, but only last night did the sign start to mean something. Cena mentions the two world title matches that are set, but here’s CM Punk with a rebuttal. He admits that Rock beat him last night….if you ignore Rock hitting a referee and Punk having him pinned for about 18 seconds. Cena says that for once this isn’t about CM Punk and he has to sit this one out.

Punk talks about how he was champion for 434 days so he should get another chance. Cena earned his shot in one single match and eliminated about four people to go to Wrestlemania. Also, Rock has already beaten Cena, so why would we want to see it again? Punk asks Cena to walk away and get out of his life but Cena of course says no.

John says Punk should be smart enough to know that Punk isn’t stupid enough to think Cena would hand away a golden ticket. Cena says Punk isn’t going to be handed a golden ticket, but Punk can earn it. If CM can beat him right here and right now, Punk can have the title show. Punk of course takes him up on it….just not here. Instead he wants it next week and Cena says cool.

We hear about Shield winning their six man tag last night.

Sheamus is talking about the loss last night but Ryback keeps walking in front of him. Getting annoyed, Sheamus yells at Ryback and suggests that he’s a mindless neanderthal like everyone says. A fight is about to break out but Jericho breaks it up. Chris says this is like the NWO or the Nexus and says they have to band together. Jericho proposes another six man tag and the monsters are in.

Sin Cara vs. Mark Henry

During Henry’s entrance we get some clips of Henry’s Hall of Pain. Henry pushes Cara down and stands on his back before hitting a running splash in the corner. Cara hits a quick kick to the head but a second is blocked and countered into a powerslam. The World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:33.

Post match Henry is beating up Cara even more but Khali comes out for the save. Despite Henry regularly destroying Khali in the past, Henry walks away without a fight. He also dances to Khali’s music a bit in a funny visual.

We get a clip of the end of the US Title match last night. Miz gets another rematch tonight in a No DQ match.

The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is No DQ and I believe non-title. Miz attacks quickly to start, but we head to the floor where Cesaro rams the injured shoulder into the post. The champion brings in a chair and a kendo stick to pound away on the badly injured Miz. After a fast rollup gets two for Miz, a kendo stick shot gets the same for Antonio. Cesaro uses the chair on the arm before putting on a fast arm hold. The bad shoulder is sent into a chair wedged in the corner but Cesaro misses a charge into said chair, hitting it knee first. That and the Figure Four are enough to give Miz the win at 3:40.

Rating: C-. I’m really not wild on the idea of Miz getting destroyed like that and then getting a fluke win out of nowhere. The match was way too short for a submission loss for the US Champion, especially to a guy like Miz. This clearly is setting up a rematch later on for the title, but why? Miz has lost twice, one of which was clean. Losing twice then winning twice doesn’t make you look good. It makes you look even.

We get a video from Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger about how illegal immigrants here for a handout are ruining America. If the government won’t do anything, Coulter and Swagger will do it for them.

Daniel Bryan yells at Kane for attacking him last night and tonight it’s Bryan vs. Swagger. Kane is going to get a singles match of his own and neither wants the other to come out for their match. Kane says he doesn’t deal well with snakes, which gets the attention of Orton, who just happened to be standing behind them. Randy says Kane is more like Barney the Dinosaur now. Orton vs. Kane is teased for later.

Vickie is on the phone when Paul Heyman comes up. She makes fun of him for the stipulations meaning nothing last night and promises a huge announcement for later tonight. Heyman doesn’t like surprises, which is why she’s going to surprise him.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler starts fast but is sent to the apron where an enziguri puts him on the floor. We take a break with Del Rio standing tall in the ring. Back with Ziggler choking Del Rio on the ropes followed by a dropkick for two. Langston gets in a cheap shot which gives Dolph another near fall. The Fameasser gives Dolph another two count but he goes to the top and gets crotched down.

Alberto follows up with a reverse superplex to put both guys down. Del Rio wins a slugout and hits his low superkick for two. The cross armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker by Dolph but Del Rio sends him into the corner and hits a Backstabber for two. The cross armbreaker gets the tap out 9:24.

Rating: C+. This was fine but again, Ziggler gets to get beaten up by the guy he is supposed to cash in on. This is the trap they lay for themselves: if they finally do give Ziggler the belt, why would the fans buy him as a legit threat? He’s lost to EVERYONE more than once and hardly ever wins anything anymore, so why would we buy him as champion? My guess is we wouldn’t, but he’s got the belt and that’s all that matters right?

Post match Langston lays out Del Rio with the Big Ending and Ziggler tries to cash in. Ricardo steals the case though and runs off with it, only to drop it while Big E. chases him. AJ hands it back to Dolph but Alberto hits an enziguri to lay Ziggler out. No cash-in.

Wade Barrett shows us a trailer of a movie he’s in called Dead Man Down. After the trailer, Sheamus pops up on screen to make fun of how small Barrett’s part is in the movie.

Lawler and Cole do a commercial for the new WWE toys.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

The girls get us going here with Naomi taking over quickly. Primo and Tensai come in but Brodus scares Primo to the floor. Brodus comes in legally and the double splash is enough to pin Primo in 1:30.

Clip from the press conference announcing Wrestlemania coming to New Orleans.

Here are Swagger and Coulter for the State of the WWE. Swagger says he did what he did last night for America before turning the mic over to Coulter. Zeb talks about how it’s Presidents’ Day and they have the freedom of speech. If the people don’t like what’s being said, that’s too bad. Very true point. Coulter blames the problems of the union on illegal immigrants and says that Swagger can do something about it.

The title match at Wrestlemania isn’t just a title match. It’s a battle for America between a real American and a man who came to this country to reap the rewards of the motherland. Swagger is going to reclaim America from someone trying to steal it. Swagger shouts WE THE PEOPLE a lot until Daniel Bryan’s music cuts him off.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

We return from a commercial to see the match already in progress. Bryan fires off kicks to the leg to slow Swagger up a bit before hooking a kind of sunset flip for two. Swagger blocks a surfboard but Bryan goes to the arm to slow him down again. Jack sends him out tot he floor but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. Swagger comes right back by ramming Bryan’s taped ribs into the barricade.

Back inside and Swagger hits a running charge to crush Bryan in the corner again. A knee to the ribs puts bryan down again and the Vader Bomb out of the corner gets two. Bryan fights back and sends Jack to the floor where he hits a suicide dive to put both guys down. Back in again and a missile dropkick gets two for Bryan.

Daniel fires off a bunch of kicks but Swagger counters into a spinebuster. The cover is countered into the NO Lock but Swagger gets a rope. Bryan misses a running clothesline in the corner and hurts his ribs again, allowing for Swagger to start in on the ankle. A chop block takes the leg out and the Patriot Lock (not Act) gets the tap out at 8:07 shown.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but I couldn’t stand the lack of psychology at the end. Why in the world would Swagger need to go to the ankle lock when Bryan had bad ribs? Swagger had worked on the ribs for the entire match but then has to go for the ankle to end the match. The fact that Jack has a move that works on the ribs (gutwrench powerbomb) makes this even worse. I can’t stand it and it happens far too often.

Here are Heyman and Vickie in the ring for Vickie’s announcement. Vickie announces her new assistant: Brad Maddox. Brad comes out to talk about how he got this job from Vince himself because he exposed the relationship between Heyman and the Shield. Heyman goes to leave but Vince pops up on screen to say not so fast.

Actually that’s not the surprise for Heyman. Vince asks about the stipulations in the title match last night and we get a clip of Heyman saying he would do anything to get those rules in place. Vince says anything means anything, so he could fire Paul right now. McMahon doesn’t do it yet because next week, Heyman and Vince are going to have a fight.

We see Cena and Punk’s challenge from earlier tonight.

Chris Jericho/Sheamus/Ryback vs. Shield

Ryback starts by launching Rollins into the corner and firing away shoulders. Jericho tries to calm him down before beating on Ambrose for a bit. A suplex puts Dean down and it’s off to Sheamus vs. Reigns. Sheamus pounds him down and sends him into the corner for a running knee lift. White Noise hits but Rollins pulls Reigns out of the ring before the Brogue Kick. Sheamus kicks Ambrose to the floor instead as we take a break.

Back with Reigns holding Sheamus in a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Rollins for some stomping in the corner. Reigns comes back in for more of the same but Sheamus fights back with a clothesline. A double tag brings in Ryback to face Rollins and it’s power moves all around. There’s the Meat Hook but Reigns spears Ryback down to break up Shell Shock again, but it only gets two. The fans cheer for Jericho as Ambrose keeps beating on Ryback. Rollins comes back in and stomps away a bit more for two.

Dean comes back in with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Reigns. Roman misses a splash in the corner and gets caught on the top rope, allowing Ryback to make the hot tag to Jericho. He gets to fight Ambrose but has to dropkick Rollins down as well. The bulldog takes Ambrose down and there’s the Lionsault for two. The Walls are countered into a small package for two as Reigns sends Ryback into the post. Jericho hooks the Walls on Ambrose and Sheamus takes out Reigns but it distracts the referee. Rollins kicks Jericho from the top rope for the pin at 13:31.

Rating: B-. Another solid match by Shield, who could be just fine taking out random three man combinations. They’ve been kept VERY strong so far and using them sparingly is the best idea the company could have had. This furthers the issues between Ryback and Sheamus and/or Jericho which could make for an interesting Mania fight. Good stuff here.

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match Sandow says today is President’s Day, which Sandow holds close to his heart. Apparently members of his family have served as advisers to Presidents, including his great grandfather who came up with the idea of the New Deal. Sandow jumps Kofi before the match and it’s a big fight. Kingston’s shoulder is sent into the post and keeps up the beating until R-Truth returns and beats up Sandow.

Josh talks to the same two actors from G.I. Joe 2 that he spoke to last night. This leads to a clip from the movie.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Kane runs him over with a shoulder to start and we stop and stare for a bit. Orton goes after the arm but gets punched out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Orton in a chinlock and getting two off a big boot. A DDT gets the same and Kane is getting frustrated. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some punches in the corner followed by a dropkick.

Kane fights back with a low dropkick of his own and we hit the chinlock for the third time. Both guys hit a variety of a slam (Power for Randy, side for Kane) but Kane misses the top rope clothesline. Kane takes Randy down again and loads up the chokeslam but here’s Bryan for a distraction. Orton and the RKO finish this at 9:33.

Rating: D. I’m a Kane fan but this was a pretty lame match. When you have three chinlocks seen in a less than ten minute match, it’s pretty clear that you don’t have much to do out there. This match kept going on and on which made for a very dull match overall. Orton was basically just a warm body out there instead of anyone of importance. Bad match.

Rock is played to the ring for his Championship Celebration by a university marching band. That’s pretty cool indeed. Rock talks about how much of a coward Punk showed himself to be by spitting in Rock’s face last night, but Rock pinned him anyway. Rock says that he’s going to Wrestlemania, but he’s not going with this title. There’s a table set up next to him with something under a blanket. Rock talks about the current belt being introduced eight years ago and some people thought it looked cool. Then again some people think Bigfoot is real so take that for what it’s worth. Also, the belt should never spin.

Rock hands a stagehand the belt and says take it to the Hall of Fame. He talks about the greats that have held the world title over the years (biggest pop might have been for Bret actually) before unveiling the new belt. It looks like the US Title shape but has a big WWE logo in the middle and Brahma Bulls on the sides. I’ve seen worse.

Moving on though, Rock says he has to face someone at Wrestlemania. The fans seem more interested in Rock vs. Cena II, so here’s Cena to the stage. Punk pops up from behind and hits Cena in the back with the old belt, laying him out. Rock is ready to fight but Punk walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was certainly entertaining but these Raws after a PPV are tough to sit through. Six hours in two days is just WAY too much time and I was getting tired halfway through the show. That being said, it was still an entertaining show and a lot of stuff was done, which is the most important part. Next week’s show looks big, which shows the stupidity of what WWE does most of the time: why don’t they announce something for next week more often? You very rarely hear something like this anymore, which makes no sense given how easy it is to do. Just be patient and things will be better.

Results

Mark Henry b. Sin Cara – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Jack Swagger b. Daniel Bryan – Patriot Lock

Shield b. Chris Jericho/Ryback/Sheamus – Ambrose pinned Jericho after a top rope kick from Rollins

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

This is probably the most star studded class ever with a lot of layups.  Let’s get to it.Hulk Hogan

The greatest wrestler of all time is a yes.

Roddy Piper

This is another layup as Piper was one of the best, if not the best, villains of all time.  I stand by the statement that without him there would be no Wrestlemania, due to Piper having the fans begging to see him get beaten up.  Piper had a long and successful career which resulted in him being a top star again in WCW, eleven years after his original time on top.  As great as he was on the mic, he was also an excellent wrestler who had solid matches with a ton of guys he fought.  This is another easy one as I said before.

Bob Orton Jr.

Orton is kind of the Christian of his day: he rarely was in the world title scene but he was always good for a solid performance when needed.  He was great at putting people over and acted as a bodyguard (not a life partner) to Roddy Piper during the 80s.  After that he kind of faded away a bit but he would pop up every now and then for various companies as his usually solid self.  As for putting him in the Hall of Fame though….I’m not entirely sold on that.  The problem is that Orton was always the guy behind the guy rather than the top star himself.  He did well in that role, but certainly not well enough to be considered an all time great.  Orton was one of those very solid but not great guys.

Jimmy Hart

Another short entry here as he’s one of the best managers of all time, but you can’t put him in without having Heenan in first.  Since the Brain is already enshrined, I can more than live with Hart going in.  As evil as Heenan was, Hart was kind of a step beneath him as Hart was more along the lines of annoying and a nuisance than the top evil mind.  That being said Jimmy was more than successful and played his role perfectly.  I’m fine with him going in.

Paul Orndorff

This is one of the trickiest ones on the entire list.  Orndorff was an awesome talent back in the 80s but his time on top got cut short by an arm injury.  This injury (while not as slow healing as Orton’s) was caused when he was facing Hogan in a feud so hot that he was making $20,000 a week selling out arenas.  That’s INSANE money for today and back then it’s hard to comprehend.  He’s quite good and I can accept him as a member of the Hall of Fame, but at the end of the day, it’s hard to overcome this.

WCW in 1995 was weird.

I’ll go ahead and vote yes but it’s not a for sure vote.

Nikolai Volkoff

This is one of the easiest no votes on the whole list.  At the end of the day, Volkoff is famous for losing to Hulk Hogan probably more times than anyone else in history.  There’s no reason for him to be a member of the Hall of Fame other than nostalgia.  Yeah he won some tag titles, but most of them are from a so long forgotten era that there’s no reason to care about them at all.  Volkoff was a fun character who was pretty amusing at times, but on the other hand…the guy just wasn’t that good.  This is a no and it’s not even worth thinking about.

Iron Sheik

This one however is worth thinking about.  Sheik was the WWF Champion, but it’s one of the textbook examples of a transitional reign.  He didn’t even hold the title for a month before dropping it back to Hogan, which makes Sheik a footnote rather than a top name.  I don’t think there’s enough there for him to go into the Hall of Fame, although his interviews after retiring are some of the funniest tirades you’ll ever hear.  As for a Hall of Fame induction though, I’d go no although I can see why he’s in and I don’t completely disagree with him being inducted.

This is one of the classes where they got some of the required named enshrined.  You have to have Hogan, period.  Piper being in is a very solid choice as well and the rest certainly aren’t terrible, Volkoff excluded.  They also stopped inducting so many people, but that would become a problem again in a few years.  This is a very solid class though, especially on top.

Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re finally ready for the Elimination Chamber PPV on Sunday and we’ve finally got a lineup set for the Chamber match. Other than the final push for that, tonight we’re getting Orton vs. Henry in a rematch from last week. The original saw Orton get literally squashed so hopefully it lasts a little bit longer this year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk vs. Rock as the champion is apparently here tonight. We also talk about the Chamber match.

Theme song. That’s a pretty catchy tune.

Here’s Big Show to open things up. As he comes out, we get a clip from last week with Del Rio destroying the bus. Show yells at the fans for laughing at the video before going into a rant about how he’s never been pinned by Alberto. On Sunday, Show is going to unleash all of his rage and turn Del Rio’s fiesta into a siesta.

This brings out Chris Jericho, because if anyone is going to use a play on words, it’s him. Jericho talks about knowing Show for sixteen years but Show yells at Jericho, saying he should be off on tour with Fozzy or writing a book or hosting some robot fighting show (he’s really doing that I believe). Jericho says he’s back in the WWE and is better than ever. He also knows that Big Show is worried about Del Rio, even though Big Show is a huge and powerful force.

Jericho talks about his history in the Chamber and says that he’ll be beating Big Show at Wrestlemania for his seventh world title. Show says if they meet at Wrestlemania, it will be the last Wrestlemania Jericho ever appears at. Cue Booker to make the main event for later tonight. At least it’s not a tag match.

Orton and Henry have a staredown in the back, which leads us to this.

Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, we get a video on Henry and the newly reopened Hall of Pain. Henry shoves him into the corner to start but Orton comes back with enough shots to the head to send Mark into the corner and out to the floor. Back in and Henry headbutts Orton down but the splash misses. Randy pounds away in the corner some more but gets sent to the outside.

We take a break and come back with Orton fighting out of a nerve hold. Back up and Henry immediately knocks him back down with a standing clothesline for two. Back to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton avoids a charge in the corner. A clothesline puts Henry down but Mark hits one of his own to take over again.

The World’s Strongest Slam is escaped and a low DDT gets two for Orton. Henry heads to the apron and gets caught in the Elevated DDT. The RKO is easily blocked though and Orton is sent to the floor. Another Strongest Slam is escaped on the outside and Orton blasts Henry with a chair for the DQ at 6:35 shown of 10:05.

Rating: C. This was another short match between the two although Orton came off looking way better here than he did last week. Orton didn’t need to win here so it’s fine to see him lose the way he did. The match was pretty decent as they kept it short, likely to keep Henry looking strong. Henry hopefully wins the Chamber on Sunday.

Orton hits him with the chair again but Mark pulls it out of his hands and lays Randy out with a World’s Strongest Slam. That was awesome.

Post break Henry takes a microphone from Matt Striker and says the Hall of Pain is open for business again.

We recap Shield vs. Cena/Ryback/Sheamus on Sunday.

Fandago is coming. Dang I hope he improves a lot over what I’ve seen already.

Tamina Snuka vs. Layla

Tamina is getting a title shot on Sunday, apparently due to something that happened on the WWE App. Layla gets a few quick rollups for two and the bouncing cross body out of the corner for two more. Tamina gets sent to the floor, only to trip up Layla and ram her spine into the apron. Apparently Josh wanted a Valentine’s Day text from JBL and let the rant begin. Layla gets put in a chinlock for a bit before coming back with a superkick. A cross body is caught by Tamina’s Samoan Drop though, and the Superfly Splash ends Layla at 4:12.

Rating: D. This was obvious as soon as they announced Tamina as the #1 contender. They would have been much better suited making this for the title shot instead of doing it on their app or whatever it’s on this week. As usual, it was Layla being all bubbly in her small outfit and getting beaten up for her efforts. Nothing to see here.

We get part of Rock vs. Punk from Raw where Punk stole the belt.

Here’s Rock for the final hard sell of the PPV on Sunday. Rock talks about how Punk has made a trade: holding Rock’s belt for six days in exchange for a beating that he’ll never forget. Then on Sunday, Rock is going to treat Punk like the spoiled child that he really is. Rock is going to give Punk a night that he’ll never forget.

Punk and Heyman pop up on screen with the title, saying that it is a symbol and not a toy. He accuses Rock of committing larceny at the Rumble and says that on Sunday, Rock is going to snap and get disqualified. Rock says that Punk’s words mean nothing, but everything Rock has said he would do, he’s done.

Even with Heyman paying Shield to put Rock through a table, the Rock won the title. Instead of Sunday, Punk should be afraid of Monday, when all of the reality is going to set in and Punk realizes that he was wrong about everything. This wasn’t as great as some of their older exchanges but it made me want to see them fight again.

3MB vs. Brodus Clay/Tensai

It’s Slater and Mahal here. Heath and Tensai start things off and the big man is taken down by a few kicks. Off to Mahal who knocks Tensai down again for two before putting on a quickly broken chinlock. Tensai tries a spinning Rock Bottom but Mahal lands on his side and it looked like a counter more than anything that hit. Off to Brodus who cleans house with his usual fat man offense. The dancers beat up the singers and the big splash from Brodus pins Mahal at 2:38.

Post match we get some dancing but here’s Shield for the beatdown.

Fandango is still coming.

Cody Rhodes vs. The Miz

This is a rematch from Monday where Cesaro interfered, resulting in a shoulder injury to Miz. Cody immediately goes for the bad arm, only to have Miz punch him using the good arm. Cody goes to the middle rope but gets pulled down, only to kick Miz in the arm to take over. A hammerlock slam gets two for Rhodes and it’s time for some arm work. Rhodes pounds on the bad shoulder for a bit until Miz comes back with some right armed clotheslines. A low boot to the face misses Cody but Miz catches the Disaster Kick coming in and hooks the Figure Four for the submission at 3:14.

Rating: D+. This was a quick match and an annoying reminder that Miz is still using the Figure Four. It doesn’t fit for him at all and makes you wonder why he of all people got that rub. Cody’s back and forth booking gets more and more ridiculous every week as he wins one week then loses again the next because he has no direction at all anymore. Miz vs. Cesaro on Sunday does nothing for me at all.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Another rematch from Monday here and Swagger has the Tea Party guy with him here. Jack beats him down to start and counters the double knees in the corner with ease. A hard whip into the corner keeps Ryder down but Zack hits a quick flapjack to get a breather. The Broski Boot misses in the corner and Swagger wraps the knee around the post. Back in and the gutwrench powerbomb sets up the Patriot Act for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D. The problem with Swagger’s new character and mouthpiece is the in ring work. He’s the exact same guy that he’s been for years now and making him be very conservative isn’t going to make people interested in him at all. The match was the exact same thing we saw on Monday, which means it was dull.

Post match Swagger introduces Coulter to do the same “we’re REAL Americans because somehow we get to determine what that means” schtick while ripping on Ryder for caring about his hair and tan.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Del Rio acknowledges that he’s never pinned Big Show but since he likes to do the impossible, he’ll beat Big Show on Sunday. Ricardo says si a lot.

Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

Show rushes him into the corner but misses a chop. Jericho pounds away but is immediately knocked out to the floor with a single shot from the giant. As they come back in, Jericho hits a dropkick to buy himself a few seconds of rest. They head to the floor again and Show LAUNCHES Chris over the announce table in a great looking spot. Back in and Show hits some knee lifts to the chest and a slam before going to the middle rope on the inside. The Canadian finally gets in some offense and heads up, only to jump to the floor while hitting a guillotine on Show.

Back in again and Jericho charges right into a spear to put him down for two. Jericho escapes a chokeslam but goes up top and jumps right into a successful one, which sends him to the floor. Back in for about the fifth time and Show takes FOREVER setting up a middle rope elbow, allowing Chris to roll away. The Lionsault hits for two but the Codebreaker is easily blocked. Big Show’s chokeslam attempt is countered into a DDT for two. Jericho tries the Walls but Show easily blocks the hold. The WMD ends this at 6:44.

Rating: C+. This was a nice David vs. Goliath match with Jericho more than holding his own against the monster. Big Show continues to look decent before the PPV, but I can’t see him walking out with the title. Jericho is doing what he’s best at: making people look better than they could look on their own. Good main event here.

Alberto comes out to stare down Big Show to end things.

Overall Rating: C. This was an odd show for the go home edition as the focus of the show was on almost everything but the Smackdown main events. Those matches bookended the show so it’s not like they were ignored, but they weren’t featured if that makes sense. The show was entertaining enough though and I’m mildly interested in seeing the PPV so I can’t fault it for that. Not bad tonight but it didn’t feel like a go home show, which may or may not improve it given your individual take.

Results

Mark Henry b. Randy Orton via DQ

Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. 3MB – Splash to Mahal

The Miz b. Cody Rhodes – Figure Four Leg Lock

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Patriot Act

Big Show b. Chris Jericho – WMD

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

My girlfriend and I took in a Smackdown house show tonight in Louisville, Kentucky.  Naturally I took some notes.The place was very empty for the most part.  The KFC Yum! Center (what a horrendous name) holds roughly 22,000 but the entire upper deck was tarped off, there were LARGE sections in the lower arena sectioned off, and large portions of quality seats were just empty.  I’m bad at guessing crowd sizes but if there were 8,000 people there I would be stunned.

The new (well old now) house show set does help things a lot.  it’s nothing great or flashy but it makes things feel a lot more special than just walking through a black curtain.  There are two mini trons and a big X which has the theme of the wrestler (i.e. Sheamus’ is green, Del Rio is red, white and green etc) and a mini ramp.  It’s a BIG upgrade and makes things look a lot better.

We were told to tweet our pick of the stipulation for the main event: No DQ or 2/3 falls.  No DQ was up about 80 to 20 when they stopped showing the results.

We got the standard videos from WWE: Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, Saturday Morning Slam, WWE App etc.

The main shirts I saw were Cena and Rock with a few Rybacks throughout the arena.  Mainly Cena though.

Kofi Kingston vs. Heath Slater

The crowd was white hot all night and this was no exception.  My theory of Kofi as the modern day Tito Santana continues to grow.  Kofi was INSANELY over and looked great all match.  The crowd booed Slater but it was nothing compared to the pop for Kingston.  It was a pretty basic match with Kofi working on the arm until the other 3MB members distracted him.  There was a funny spot where Kofi did the air guitar and hip shake which got a good reaction from the crowd.  In a very impressive move, Kofi hit a dropkick and from where we were sitting, Kofi’s entire body was above the ropes.  That’s INSANE when you think about it.

The big spot of the match was Kofi kicking Slater down and using him as a stepping stone to hit a big dive onto 3MB.  Mahal and McIntyre were thrown out after about five minutes and Slater started taking over.  Slater beat on Kofi with some basic stuff and hit a pretty sweet neckbreaker for two.  Kofi made his comeback and hit the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise missed.  Slater went up and jumped into Trouble in Paradise for the pin at about 12:00.

Rating: C+. The ratings will be shorter than usual here.  This was a great choice for an opener and the fans loved Kofi.  The main thing here was that the match was kind of slow at times, but that’s more than forgivable.  This was probably the second or third best match of the night.

Aksana vs. Alicia Fox

This ran about NINE minutes and the crowd started filing in.  My entire notes about the match: Aksana sucks, Alicia isn’t bad, ax kick hits back for pin (for Fox).

Rating: D-. The match sucks and it’s ALL on Aksana, who looked lost doing anything of note.

Chimmel was plugging the Twitter thing again when Shield interrupted him.  They talked about Orton and Sheamus being brought to justice tonight and get in a great line: “It’s Evolution or Extinction.”  That line is ten years too late and it’s awesome.

Fandango vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Yep, I got to see Fandango, and he’s still Johnny Curtis.  No one cared about Fandango, like at all.  he had some chick that was dancing with him during his entrance but she went to the back for the match.  Both guys danced a bit with Tatsu doing the Rick Rude hip swivel.  Fandango was very generic with his stuff and came off like any guy from NXT.  That’s the problem with the gimmick: it has nothing interesting at all to it and there’s zero reason whatsoever to boo him.  He’s just a guy who dances.  We have no idea if he’s a good guy, a bad guy, or anything about him at all.  Anyway the generic heel (assuming that’s what he was) broke up a springboard attempt by Tatsu and hit a spinning downward spiral for the pin at about 6:40.

Rating:  D. If this is any indication of what’s coming, Fandango isn’t going to last long.  There’s no reason to care about him and while it was clear he’s a heel, there’s no reason to know that other than he’s fighting Yoshi Tatsu.  I don’t remember him cheating, I don’t remember him acting arrogant, I don’t remember him doing anything evil.  He just dances, and I guess that makes him bad?

Wade Barrett says he’ll win the main event and the world title.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Shield

Handicap match here.  Orton and Sheamus got by far the biggest pops of the night respectively.  This was a brawl to start after Shield came through the curtain instead.  It was about what you would expect from this kind of a match.  In one funny bit, Rollins was in trouble and Orton stopped the other two before they came in.  During the distraction, Sheamus choked Rollins in the corner and shrugged at the fans as if to say “it’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”  Rollins got beaten down to start, Sheamus got beaten down for a bit, and Orton got the hot tag.  Orton hit his usual stuff and loaded up the RKO but the other Shield guys came in for the DQ at about 11:00.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match but a clean ending would have been nice.  it wouldn’t have been smart, but it would have been nice.  You certainly can’t have Shield losing in a 3-2 match and expect them to beat Ryback, Cena and Sheamus at the same time.  Anyway, fun match and the fans were going nuts for Orton.  Sheamus had his fans too and was very over, but Orton’s pop for the hot tag was insane.

Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicked a chair into I think Rollins’ face and it was RKO’s and Brogue Kicks all around.  The heroes went around high fiving everyone and signing a bunch of stuff.  THat went on for probably close to ten minutes.

15 minute intermission.

Sin Cara/Great Khali vs. 3MB

That’s a pretty odd tag team on the face side.  This was about what you would expect: Khali started and cleaned house, Cara got tagged in and got beaten down, Horny beat up Heath Slater, hot tag to Khali and the Plunge ends Mahal at a time that I forgot to check.  It was less than ten minutes for sure though.

Rating: C-. This was fine.  The main thing to note was how Sin Cara botched the one main high flying move he has still: the spinning armdrag out of the corner.  Basically he didn’t rotate enough and McIntyre wound up on top of him instead of falling over.

Cara seemed to be favoring his shoulder post match but it didn’t seem that bad.

Conor O’Brien vs. Brodus Clay

Conor is from NXT and is the only member left of Ascension.  He got to do his full entrnace minus the lights and with the big coat.  It didn’t do much for the crowd but for NXT fans it was awesome.  he needs a partner though. O’Brian cut a promo about not being happy and says he’ll destroy our hero and then rise.  This would prove to be incorrect as Conor did next to nothing significant and Brodus came back with his usual to win with the splash at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This was short but decent all thigns considered.  O’Brian needs the full entrance for the character to work and it looks stupid in the light.  Clay and the Funkadactyls (who now have pom poms) danced a lot.

Tony CHimmel dances with Brodus and company post match, holding his heart after the fact.  Funny stuff.

The fans vote for No DQ.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Wade Barrett

BIG pop for Del Rio after Barrett said he hated Louisville and said the crowd clearly wanted barbarism by picking a No DQ match. Barrett stalls for a long time to start which suckers Del Rio in.  He pounds on Alberto for a bit and then gets kicked a few times.  Barrett goes to the floor and tries to walk out with the belts, only to be stopped by Ricardo.  Wade chased him around and Del Rio hit a sweet baseball slide to stop Barrett cold.

Barrett brought in a kendo stick and accidentally tapped the referee int he head with it before laying out Del Rio.  That got two and Del Rio came back again, only to get beaten down by a chair.  He went shoulder first into the psot to give Wade two but Del Rio came back with some LAME kendo stick shots.  The Winds of Change got a two count as did the Backstabber out of the corner.  Del Rio brought in a table but got sent into a chair int he corner.  Ricardo distracted Del Rio and a bulldog put Barrett through the table to retain the title at about 17:30.

Rating: B. Definitely the match of the night here with the fans being WAY into Del Rio’s comebacks.  Barrett looekd good in a match he had no chance of winning here which is a good sign for him.  The match worked quite well and Del Rio continues to be on a roll.  The table was a nice touch and something you don’t see much anymore.  Good stuff here.

Del Rio signed some autographs to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As you can see, the biggest problem with this show was the lack of star power.  After Orton, Sheamus and Del Rio, things drop WAY off.  The show was definitely fun and entertaining enough for the price ($15 each) and we had a great time, but it was nothing I’ll remember in a week or so.  Raw had a show at the same time in Missouri which had Punk, Ryback, Jericho, Ziggler and every other major star I’m forgetting.  Anyway, good stuff here and it was a fun, although forgettable experience.

Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2013
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re getting close to the Elimination Chamber now with most of the field being filled in. The main story is that Mark Henry returned on Monday and treated Mysterio and Sin Cara like villagers in a badly dubbed Japanese monster movie. Other than that we’ve got the continuing saga of Big Show vs. Del Rio which is continuing despite two straight wins over the giant. Let’s get to it.

We open with the voiceover talking about the Chamber. Apparently Bryan, Orton and Mysterio are locked in already. We also look at the hotel stuff with Del Rio vs. Big Show from Raw on Monday.

Big Show’s bus arrives to start but he’s scared to come out. Show finally gets out and sneaks into the arena.

For the first time in months, we actually get a theme song for Smackdown.

Here’s Big Show to the ring. You know if he’s scared of Del Rio, isn’t it a bad idea to come to a place where everyone can see him? He calls the current situation unacceptable and doesn’t care that the fans are booing him. Show talks about Del Rio acting like a criminal and getting cheered by the fans anyway. Apparently you can do whatever you want when you’re popular. Show talks about signing a contract for a title match so at the PPV, he’s getting the title back Del Rio is suspended tonight, so I’m SURE we won’t see him until Monday.

Show yells about Booker T causing the double standards around here, claiming that Booker is jealous of Show’s money and success and status as an active wrestler. This brings out the GM who talks about how Big Show has gotten everything he wanted but Big Show keeps bullying Ricardo. Big Show demands to know if Booker gave Alberto his hotel information but Booker sidesteps the question. It’s Show vs. Kane tonight.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody says that he and Sandow have split but another door has opened for him. Rhodes grabs the arm to start but Kofi sends him to the floor. Back in and the mustached one hits a middle rope elbow to Kingston’s back. The second attempt doesn’t work as well though and Kofi speeds things up a bit. The Boom Drop hits at an awkward angle but Trouble in Paradise misses. Kofi immediately comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Both finishers are avoiided but Cody hits the Disaster Kick to lay out Kingston. Cross Rhodes finishes this at 3:31.

Rating: C-. As usual, this was hurt by how little time they had. This is what Kofi is good for anymore: making someone look good in defeat. He still has enough credibility to make this work and a loss isn’t going to hurt him at all. It’s good to see Cody making a singles comeback, but not losing on Monday would have helped even more.

We recap the troubles HELL NO has been having lately.

Bryan comes in to see Kane and says he forgives them. Kane doesn’t even have to apologize. Bryan offers to be in Kane’s corner tonight against Big Show so that they can mess with Show’s mind. Also it will help Kane’s image to be seen with someone already in the Elimination Chamber. Kane shushes Bryan with threats of annihilation.

We get a video of Lesnar attacking Vince from last week’s Raw.

We get another video from this past week’s Raw of Heyman denying knowing anything about Lesnar because Vickie brought him back in.

Bruno Sammartino’s HOF video.

Great Khali vs. Titus O’Neal

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

As soon as the bell rings, Mark Henry comes out and sends Titus into the barricade. With him out of the way, Henry goes into the ring and lays out Khali as well with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Post break Henry says the Hall of Pain is now open again. We get a clip of the beatdown of Cara and Rey from Monday which Henry blames on Booker. Henry says Booker put together an elite group of people to be in the Chamber, but there was one mistake: Mark Henry was left out. He wants Booker out here now or else he’ll destroy the entire Smackdown roster. Booker comes out and gives his usual response of “that’s not how we do it on Smackdown.” Henry says if there isn’t room in the Chamber for him, he’ll make room himself. Booker says if Henry can beat Orton tonight, he can be in the Chamber too.

Big Show yells at the guy that takes care of his bus and his steaks for screwing up. Oh and the toilet is clogged up again. Big Show is heading to the ring and Del Rio is lurking behind his bus.

Big Show vs. Kane

We see the Del Rio/Show segment from Raw again during the entrances. Show immediately takes it to the floor and sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside. The guy with his face showing works on the leg as we take a break. Back with Show hitting the Vader Bomb for two but a second one misses. They slug it out and both guys load up chokeslams but it’s Kane hitting the running DDT to take over. There’s the top rope clothesline but Kane tweaks his knee, allowing for the WMD to end Kane at 3:35 shown of 7:05.

Rating: C. They actually took a break for a match that ran seven minutes? Nothing to see here but they probably had the right idea to keep this short given the history of matches these two have had. You would think they would eventually have a decent match just out of memory with each other but it hasn’t happened yet.

Post match Del Rio pops up on screen with the employee Show yelled at. He tells Big Show to come back and see the changes Del Rio has made. Show comes back and sees the bus up on blocks with the tires taken off. Del Rio covers Show in orange paint for good measure.

Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Swagger is apparently the REAL AMERICAN now. Gabriel is sent to the apron to start and Jack takes his head off with a clothesline back inside. There’s a big beal across the ring and the Vader Bomb gets no cover. Justin blocks a charge with two feet in the face and a springboard cross body gets no cover. Jack heads to the floor but manages to break up the Asai moonsault. Back inside and it’s chop block, gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act (ankle lock) for the tap out at 2:37. Just a squash.

Fandango is still coming. Oh joy.

Drew McIntyre vs. Tensai

They’re turning the bald guy face aren’t they. We get a clip from Raw Roulette of Tensai in lingerie breaking into a dance off with Brodus. Drew hits a big boot for two but Tensai comes back with a splash in the corner. There’s the Baldo Bomb but Slater and Mahal run in at 1:09.

Brodus runs out for the save and the band is cleared out. The big men and the Funkadactyls dance a bit. Yep they’re turning him and I can’t say I’m arguing with it. It’s not like he was doing ANYTHING as a heel anymore.

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

The stupid mood lighting is back and this is non-title. Cara speeds things up to start but Cesaro avoids a charge in the corner. The power stuff begins and Cara is in trouble early. JBL questions if Cara is actually a Mexican or not. Josh talks about how if Cara was from Bermuda, he would be the most followed man in the country. Good to know. Anyway Cara comes out of the corner with a running sunset flip for two. The champion heads to the floor and Cara hits a suicide dive to take him out. That’s the extent of his offense though as back inside it’s the European uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:20.

Orton says Henry has to earn his spot in the Chamber by going through him.

Miz says he’s never been against anything like Lesnar but Cesaro comes in to complain about Miz’s whining. Geez this thing is still going? They brawl and Cesaro gets the better of it until referees break it up.

The Raw ReBound is Shield being chased off.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

If Henry wins, he’s in the Chamber. I don’t think Orton is out for losing. Henry shoves him into the corner but Orton fights out with right hands. Randy gets shoved to the floor and but escapes off Henry’s shoulder before posting Mark. Back in and Orton heads to the top, only to get DRILLED in the head and knocked out to the floor.

That gets two for Mark so he stands on Randy’s chest for awhile. Off to the nerve hold for a bit but Orton starts speeding things up. Mark misses a charge in the corner and Orton knocks him onto the apron. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but it’s easily blocked. A splash in the corner sets up the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C-. Just like before, there wasn’t time for this to go anywhere. Henry looked decent as the monster continues to be the perfect character for him. Actually keeping this short was probably the right idea because a guy who hasn’t been in the ring in ten months just crushed Randy Orton. That’s certainly a good way to get him over again in the fans’ eyes.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows where the individual parts don’t tell the whole story of the show. This was about pushing some new guys and reintroducing Henry to the Smackdown roster. The show went by pretty fast and it made for some entertaining TV. That’s a good sign with not a lot of time before the Chamber and then Wrestlemania. Another good although different kind of show tonight.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes

Great Khali b. Titus O’Neal – Chop to the head

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act

Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Mark Henry b. Randy Orton – World’s Strongest Slam

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