Impact Wrestling – August 2, 2019: They Can Do Some Great Stuff

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 2, 2019
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

This is kind of a weird night for Impact as they’re airing a live special called Unbreakable at the same time as this show. They’ve hyped up matches for both shows, meaning you might have needed to take notes coming into it. One of the bigger matches for this one will see Tessa Blanchard vs. Mad Man Fulton, which could be good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Aiden Prince vs. Rohit Raju vs. Zachary Wentz vs. Chuck Mambo vs. Cody Deaner vs. Petey Williams

The winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Deaner goes after Raju to start and their fight heads out to the floor as Mambo and Prince trade flips inside. Wentz comes back in and gets to stare Williams down with the former getting caught in a headscissors. The Canadian Destroyer is broken up so Williams gets in a Sharpshooter with Raju coming in to add a Crossface on Wentz at the same time.

Raju spears Williams down for two with Deaner coming in for the save. Hold on though as Deaner needs to put on his hat. Williams grabs his flag for a posedown and it’s a double suicide dive to take out Prince and Raju. Wentz dives onto them as well and Prince nails an Asai moonsault. Back in and Mambo’s springboard is broken up so Deaner punches Raju some more.

Petey comes in for the Russian legsweep but Wentz breaks up a Destroyer with a jumping knee to the face. Raju makes another save but gets beaten up by Deaner again (it’s not some epic feud people). Deaner’s DDT plants Raju with Mambo springboarding in with an elbow for the next save. Prince comes back in with a brainbuster and 450 to finish Mambo for the pin and the title shot at 9:15.

Rating: C+. This was your usual wild X-Division match and that works well enough, especially for an opener. They do need to bring in some fresh talent, but it doesn’t mean as much when a lot of these names can be interchanged. The X-Division is certainly in a better place than they were in a few months ago though and I’ll take whatever improvement I can get.

Jake Crist is excited about having a new challenger but Sami Callihan tells him to hand over the title. That isn’t happening so Sami talks about Tessa Blanchard instead. Tonight, she can deal with Mad Man Fulton.

Rich Swann warns Tessa about Fulton and the rest of OVE. Tessa appreciates the offer of help but says she has to do this alone.

Havok vs. John E. Bravo

Taya Valkyrie is out with Bravo. John drops to a knee and kisses Havok’s hand, so she knees him in the face. Bravo gets tossed across the ring and no sells a poke to the eye. The chokeslam finishes Bravo at 1:43.

Su Yung pops up on screen and seems to ramble some gibberish, which disturbs Havok.

Josh Alexander is worried about tonight’s Tag Team Title defense while Ethan Page is wondering who they’ll defend against after they beat the Rascalz tonight. Alexander wants some more seriousness.

Stone Rockwell vs. Ace Austin

Austin jumps him before the bell but Rockwell hits a strong clothesline and pulls a springboarding Austin out of the air. A spinning backbreaker plants Austin again but an elbow misses. The Fold finishes Rockwell at 2:15.

Post match Eddie Edwards of all people jumps Austin from behind and beats the heck out of him. Remember that Austin hit on Eddie’s wife.

Madison Rayne, dubbing herself the locker room leader, comes in to see Tessa and wishes her luck tonight. Tessa doesn’t want to hear it and leaves. Madison: “She’s done.”

Video on the Knockouts Division, which has been pretty strong in recent months.

Alisha Edwards yells at Eddie for attacking Ace. She says she doesn’t have time for him being crazy and leaves.

During the break, Moose laid out Stone Rockwell and now back in the arena, Moose says he is a star and no longer responsible for his actions. Cue Fallah Bahh and we have a match.

Moose vs. Fallah Bahh

Moose is in street clothes and gets crushed in the corner. The Banzai Drop finishes Moose at 47 seconds. They’re not wasting time tonight.

Post break Moose wants to know who booked that match.

Mad Man Fulton vs. Tessa Blanchard

Sami is here with Fulton. Tessa forearms away to start and the size difference is crazy. Magnum is broken up with ease and it’s a chokeslam to plant Tessa instead. With Tessa mostly dead, Fulton pauses for some OVE chants and Sami rants about how Tessa earned this. Callis: “Shut up idiot.”

Tessa slaps Fulton in the face and the bearhug goes on with a lot of shaking. In what might not be the smartest move, Tessa pulls out one of his deadlocks to escape. Some running forearms don’t do much though and Fulton big boots her down. Sami throws in a chair and slaps Fulton, but here’s Tommy Dreamer (BECAUSE OF COURSE IT’S TOMMY DREAMER!) to hit Fulton with the kendo stick for the DQ at 5:01.

Rating: D+. I actually groaned when Dreamer ran out because we’re going to get the same speech about how much he loves wrestling and doesn’t have much time left as he gets to attach himself to another story. It’s been done to death already and I really, really don’t need to see it again. But he was in ECW and Callis likes pushing his friends from the company that has been out of business for over eighteen years so this is what we’re getting. The match itself was much more of an angle advancement than anything else, which is fine, though I’m not sure where Tessa goes after getting done with OVE.

Post match Fulton goes after Dreamer but Tessa gets the stick and runs OVE off.

We look at Rhyno returning last week and attacking Michael Elgin. I’m not sure how valuable he is to the company but Impact loves bringing people back in whenever they can.

Elgin gets what Rhyno did but Rhyno is still going to pay.

An unnamed woman comes into the Knockouts locker room and doesn’t introduce herself. Madison introduces herself as the locker room leader but Kiera Hogan comes in and everyone gets catty with each other. The new girl leaves.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Generation Me (Young Bucks) vs. Motor City Machine Guns at Bound For Glory 2010.

Jimmy Jacobs goes up to Brian Cage’s house for an update but Melissa Santos opens the door and asks for privacy. She’ll answer his questions next week.

Impact is back in Mexico City later this month.

Rhyno doesn’t care about legal actions because he had a bunch of money thrown to him to sit in catering for years. Everyone is getting the Gore.

Tag Team Titles: The North vs. Rascalz

Trey Miguel and Dezmond Xavier are defending with no Wentz here this time. North drops Miguel with an early forearm and a quick takedown has Miguel rethinking things a bit. Page comes in and gets caught with a springboard headscissors as Miguel is having a lot more success this time around. Dezmond comes in and starts kicking away at Page, followed by rights and lefts in the corner.

Back to back to back slingshot splashes keep Page down for two but Alexander saves Page from an O’Connor roll. A World’s Strongest Slam onto the apron has Dezmond in trouble for the first time and a spinning suplex gives Alexander two. Alexander puts him in a rack for something from Page but Page is too busy yelling at Miguel. Dezmond uses the distraction to slip out and it’s back to Trey to pick up the pace. That doesn’t last long though as the champs run him over again and take over.

With Dezmond knocked off the apron, Trey gets free and dives over for the tag….but just crashes into the corner. As expected, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and everything breaks down again. Dezmond hits a huge dive over the top to take down both champs and we take a break.

Back with Page kicking Dezmond in the head but getting stomped in the back for two from Miguel. Page powerslams Dezmond on the floor, leaving Alexander to start in on Miguel’s ankle. A backbreaker gets two and Alexander is starting to get frustrated. The ankle lock is broken up so Alexander goes with a powerbomb backbreaker for two more in a nasty landing. The torture rack flipped into the spinebuster gets two as everything breaks down again.

The double slugout is on with the Rascalz getting the better of it until Alexander lifts Trey up for a powerslam. Dezmond tries a springboard moonsault onto them….and Alexander catches him too. A double powerslam gets two more but Alexander misses his own moonsault. Trey’s top rope Meteora sets up Dezmond’s Final Flash for two and Trey’s rollup gets the same. Dezmond gets sent outside and it’s a cutter into a wheelbarrow suplex, followed by the double Neuralizer to retain the titles at 22:40.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a match with both teams looking awesome. I’ve liked the Rascalz since they debuted but I’ve been waiting for something to make the North feel important. That’s what we got here as the match was very hard hitting and back and forth the whole time, with a nice bit of doubt as to who was winning. The Rascalz will eventually get the titles and that’s going to be a heck of a moment, but at least we had a great match on the way there.

Post match the North goes to the back, where Ortiz jumps them. The champs fight back but Daga runs in and makes the save, with Konnan helping to chase the North off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Rather good show here as they covered a bunch of stuff and had a very strong main event to close things out. When Impact is on its game and keeps away from the storyline stuff, they can put out some good television and that’s what we got here. What matters most for them is consistency, which has always been a problem for this company. I’ll take a very good show while I can though and that’s what we got here.

Results

Aiden Prince b. Chuck Mambo, Rohit Raju, Zachary Wentz, Cody Deaner and Petey Williams – 450 to Mambo

Havok b. John E. Bravo – Chokeslam

Ace Austin b. Stone Rockwell – The Fold

Fallah Bahh b. Moose – Banzai Drop

Mad Man Fulton b. Tessa Blanchard via DQ when Tommy Dreamer interfered

The North b. Rascalz – Double Neutralizer to Miguel

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – May 10, 2019: The Problem With The Entire Company

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 10, 2019
Location: Rebel Sports Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Canada and we still don’t have a World Champion around at the moment due to Brian Cage’s back injury. What we do have though is a new #1 contender in the form of Michael Elgin, who seems rather content with waiting around until Cage gets back. I’m not sure what that means for this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap, with the World Title situation getting some extra time, as it should.

Opening sequence.

Josh: “We sit just fifty eight days away from Slammiversary!” You might want to wait a bit on that countdown.

Moose/Josh Alexander vs. LAX

Non-title and no Konnan with LAX. Alexander and Santana start things off with an exchange of wristlocks until Ortiz comes in for the running splash. It’s off to Moose, who puts Ortiz on top and dropkicks him to the floor. That leaves Callus enough time to list off Moose’s athletic stats and then say they’re off the charts. Hence why they have been charted you see. Back to Alexander for some forearms in the corner and the required chinlock.

Ortiz fights up and suplexes Alexander into a Stunner for the tag off to Santana. Moose gets sent outside and it’s a double flapjack into a facebuster combination to drop Alexander again. It’s already back to Moose for the power, including a powerbomb to Ortiz onto Santana. The chokebomb gets two on Santana but Moose hits Alexander by mistake, allowing LAX to hit a double enziguri. With Moose down on the ground, LAX hits their usual flurry into the double faceplant to finish Alexander at 7:38.

Rating: C. LAX can do no wrong at this point and that was the case again here, with another entertaining performance against a team that didn’t have the best chemistry. If nothing else though, hearing “their opponents, Moose and Josh Alexander” sounds a lot better than The North. That’s such a bad name for a team and while their work is good, it sounds like the most indy of names.

Madison Rayne is ready for her third non-title match against Taya Valkyrie, even if Taya doesn’t have to defend the title for thirty days. I get the story they’re going for here, but Madison is another shining example of what is wrong with a lot of the roster: she’s perfectly adequate. She’s going to give you a fine match, a fine promo and a fine everything, but there’s no reaching for the next level. Madison, along with so many others on the roster, are a safe bet and that’s a big reason why Impact never goes any higher than they already are.

Tommy Dreamer gives his partners a big pep talk about how they’re all a bunch of misfits. He knows about that, because he used to work for ECW. I actually yelled at my screen OH MY GOODNESS SHUT UP ABOUT ECW. Dreamer promises that the team will fight tonight, because this is the kind of company he wants to fight for.

Announcers’ preview.

Madison Rayne vs. Taya Valkyrie

Non-title again and Tessa Blanchard comes out for commentary, definitely acting a lot more faceish. Taya heads straight outside for the stalling so Madison chases her back inside, where the champ gets in a dropkick to the head. That means the always annoying break less than a minute in and we come back with Madison hitting a running shoulder in the corner.

Taya throws her down again and we have an inset window showing Tessa on commentary. I don’t really need to watch commentary talking, but EGADS is that better than cutting to Gail every ten seconds. Taya cuts off a springboard with a faceplant and it’s a Jeff Hardy legdrop between the legs. A little dance sets up Taya bending Madison’s ribs around the post as the announcers talk almost non-stop about Gail vs. Tessa.

Back in and Madison gets in a tornado DDT, followed by a few forearms for two. A windup cutter gives Madison two as Tessa forgets that this is non-title. Taya stops for more trash talk and slow kicks to the back/chest. A big kick is countered into a half crab and Taya taps immediately at 12:08.

Rating: C-. The story is fine and they can do a title match before Slammiversary, but I’m still not buying Madison as a top challenger. She hasn’t missed a step since her previous run, but that doesn’t make her all that inspiring. Taya tapping so fast makes sense and it’s very nice that they’re doing a story with the champion losing over and over again rather than just doing it and rarely going anywhere other than “here’s a title shot to make it 50/50”.

This week’s Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam beats Abyss at Bound For Glory.

Van Dam thinks he’s facing Diamond Dallas Page tonight instead of Ethan Page. He’s not worried about Rob Van Dam.

Rosemary wants a Demon Collar match against Su Yung, winner take all. That would be all the souls/people I presume?

Jordynne Grace vs. Alexia Nicole

Grace shrugs off the kicks to the leg and hits a one armed delayed vertical suplex. Nicole’s sleeper doesn’t work at all and it’s a giant swing to make it even worse. A clothesline goes even worse for Nicole and Grave hits a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb. The Grace Driver is good for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D. Grace continues to look dominant and at some point they’ll make her the monster champion that she should be. Sometimes you need a nice squash like this as it’s one of the best ways to keep someone over. She doesn’t have anything going on right now but keeping her dominant on TV like this works just fine.

Josh Alexander gives Ethan Page a pep talk for his match with Van Dam tonight.

Kiera Hogan walked away from Rosemary last week because that’s what Rosemary wanted. She has tried to be friends with everyone around here and it hasn’t worked. Grace comes in to say they are friends but Kiera doesn’t care about her. Grace can die like Allie did.

Ethan Page vs. Rob Van Dam

Alexander is here with Page and the announcers talk about Van Dam’s marijuana enthusiasm as both villains yell at Rob. They’re knocked to the floor as the discussion moves over to ECW and all the great moments Rob had there. An Alexander distraction breaks up the spinning kick to Page’s back and it’s Page taking over in the corner.

A backbreaker and suplex have Van Dam in trouble but he’s back with kicks to the face. Rolling Thunder looks to set up the Five Star but Alexander’s distraction lets Page get up. There’s a bicycle kick to Rob, who is right back with a spinwheel kick. The Five Star (with very little elevation) finishes Page at 6:10.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t terrible or even bad, but it was a 48 year old Van Dam playing the hits while the announcers tried to treat it as anything other than nostalgia/a way to draw a crowd for Philadelphia next week. There’s nothing wrong with Van Dam not being able to do it as well as he used to, but treating him like he’s still the same athlete is hard to take. Bringing Rob back in makes sense as he has star power, but I’m worried about how hard they’re going to push him at this point.

Brian Cage is still injured and starting rehab on his back soon.

Johnny Impact comes up to Michael Elgin and they argue over who injured Cage. Elgin will send him to the hospital to prove he’s right.

Deaners vs. Desi Hit Squad vs. Brent Banks/Aiden Prince vs. Rascalz

Banks flips a lot and dropkicks Raju into the corner so it’s off to Singh as we’re already in the rapid fire offense as no one is going to have time to really showcase themselves. The Squad takes over on Prince with a boot to the face giving Raju two. Prince gets in a kick of his own and the fans want the Deaners, showing that Canadian fans don’t have the best taste. The Deaners come in a few seconds later as everything breaks down with the Rascalz taking over. Wentz hits a big dive onto a bunch of people and Dezmond hits a cartwheel corkscrew dive but Raju uses the distraction to roll Cousin Jake up for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. What am I supposed to say here? The Desi Hit Squad wins (because the Rascalz aren’t allowed to build any momentum) in a match with eight people trying to get stuff in over the course of about five minutes. It’s too much in one match and the Squad winning took away a lot of the energy that the match could have build up.

Killer Kross talks about stealing Kenny the Kendo Stick last week, which he did to prove a point. Now he wants to hear from Eddie Edwards. Tick tock.

LAX is in the Rascalz clubhouse and they talk about lions protecting the stash. Ortiz wants to fight the Rockers, the Eliminators, Bert and Ernie and Tango and Cash. Shots are consumed.

The announcers talk about going to the 2300 Arena next week and say EXTREME about half a dozen times.

Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack vs. OVE

OVE Rules, meaning anything goes and Scarlett Bordeaux is here with the non-Ohioans. Joined in progress after a break with Bahh splashing Dave Crist in the corner. It’s time for some chairs with Dave being slammed onto the steel, leaving everyone to head outside. Mack comes back in and slams Sami, setting up a standing moonsault onto Dave. The big flip dive lets Mack knock everyone down, followed by Dave moonsaulting off the top onto everyone else. Jake dives, then Tommy dives as we get in the required exchange of dives out of the way. Dreamer heads to the back to get something as we take a break.

Back with the weapons abounding, including a big ladder that Dreamer pulled out. Dreamer wraps the ladder around his head and does the spinning knockdowns until Fulton gets in a shot to take over. Fulton sets the ladder up on the ramp as Sami and Dave beat on Fallah with a chair. That leaves Mack to pile a bunch of stuff up in the ring, only to take a cutter from Jake for two.

Bahh’s belly to belly onto a trashcan gets two but he’s fine enough to set up some chairs. A superplex to Dave is broken up with Fulton powerbombing Bahh through some chairs. The chair wrapped in barbed wire is sat on Bahh’s chest for a top rope double stomp into a near fall. Swann comes back in (Was he in at all?) and goes to the ladder but Fulton makes the save, allowing Dave to hit a super cutter off the ladder.

Fulton dives off the ladder into a Samoan drop to give Bahh two. Dreamer busts out the Legos and DDTs Sami and Dave onto them for no cover. That leaves the barefooted Bahh to walk onto the Legos but Fulton plants him with a chokeslam. Mack Stuns Fulton onto a chair but Sami blasts Mack with a stop sign. The Cactus Special onto the Legos gives Sami the pin at 16:29.

Rating: C+. It’s a garbage brawl that I’ve seen done a million times but they were putting in some effort and got the time to make it feel more violent. I’m not sure why you would have Mack take the fall when you have Dreamer in there, but they do seem to be teasing a Mack vs. Swann feud. This wasn’t bad, and thank goodness they didn’t put it in the ECW Arena instead.

Overall Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it seems that they’re building up to both Slammiversary but more importantly the 2300 Arena shows. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I’m worried about how big of an ECW tribute we’ll have to sit through for the next few weeks. This wasn’t terrible, though they’ve lost some momentum from Rebellion.

Results

LAX b. Moose/Josh Alexander – Double faceplant to Alexander

Madison Rayne b. Taya Valkyrie – Half crab

Jordynne Grace b. Alexia Nicole – Grace Driver

Rob Van Dam b. Ethan Page – Five Star Frog Splash

Desi Hit Squad b. Rascalz, Brent Banks/Aiden Prince and Deaners – Rollup to Jake

OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Fallah Bahh/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Special to Mack

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 5, 2019: Their New Reality

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

So in the middle of all the insanity that is Wrestlemania weekend, we have this show in pursuit of anyone remembering that it’s actually taking place. That’s kind of a shame actually as things are pretty decent at the moment with Johnny Impact’s overdue heel turn already paying dividends. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap serves its lone function.

Opening sequence.

Petey Williams vs. Trey Miguel vs. Idris Abraham vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin

Great. Williams is back. One fall to a finish so everything is insane to start with Austin being the last man standing, earning him a quadruple superkick until it’s Austin vs. Abraham alone in the ring. Williams replaces Abraham in a hurry with Petey grabbing a German suplex for two. Now it’s Prince taking Williams’ place and suplexing Austin for two. Abraham and his huge afro are back in with Trey spinning away from him. Crist is back in with a Death Valley Driver but Abraham drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Not to be outdone, Austin drops a frog splash for two on Abraham and drops Miguel with a swinging neckbreaker. Williams’ swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Miguel and the Sharpshooter goes on. That’s broken up so it’s O Canada to Crist in the corner. Austin puts Prince over Crist in the corner and it’s the Tower of Doom to bring everyone down. The Canadian Destroyer gives Petey two on Austin and it’s Prince flip diving onto Austin and Abraham on the floor. Back in and Williams hits a super Canadian Destroyer to finish Crist at 8:35.

Rating: C+. So you know every match with all of these people thrown into a match with everyone hitting their spots and moving on? This was the most recent one of them that I’ve seen. There’s nothing to separate them from the rest of their kind and Petey Williams is far from inspiring.

LAX and Konnan want to use Full Metal Mayhem to earn respect from the Lucha Bros.

Taya Valkyrie doesn’t care that she lost to Jordynne Grace last week. Madison Rayne comes in and says she wants a title match. Jordynne comes in and wants her rematch for the title but Taya makes a #1 contenders match for later tonight for the Rebellion title match.

Announcers’ preview.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack

Sami Callihan/Madman Fulton for OVE. Swann, now clean shaven, goes straight after Callihan to start and flips over him into the dropkick. Mack comes in, shrugs off a cheap shot from Fulton, and hits a 619 to Callihan’s ribs. Fulton’s second interference works a bit better and it’s Sami scoring with a clothesline to send us to a break. Back with Fulton suplex slamming Swann for two but Mack comes right back with a spinebuster.

A standing moonsault gets two but Fulton breaks up the hot tag attempt. The neck crank goes on for a bit until the break allows the hot tag off to Swann. Everything breaks down and Fulton is hurricanranaed to the floor, leaving Callihan to take a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix Splash misses and everyone but Mack heads outside, meaning it’s a big flip dive onto all three. Back in and Mack breaks up a Cactus Piledriver but gets slammed down by Fulton. The Cactus Piledriver finishes Swann at 14:01.

Rating: C+. This was mainly about making Fulton look like a monster and….they only kind of did that. Granted when you’re as big as Fulton, the monster thing is already included so it’s not the biggest deal in the world. This story has been going on for a long time now and I’d assume that Callihan gets the title soon. Like at Rebellion maybe.

Post match the beatdown is on until Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a chair.

Johnny Impact gets annoyed at being asked questions about Brian Cage and threatens to John Stossel Menendez. Killer Kross comes up and puts his arm around Menendez, saying he should get a title shot someday. Johnny looks worried.

Moose invades the Rascalz’ room and brings a female friend, with an invitation to bring a bunch of animals in as well.

GWN Classic Moment of the Week: Full Metal Mayhem at Bound For Glory 2011.

Rosemary goes to Allie’s grave and rants about Kiera Hogan and James Mitchell, plus her father Kevin Sullivan, all of whom are to blame. Then she disappears.

Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne

The winner gets the Knockouts Title shot t at Rebellion. Grace throws her down with ease to start and then does it again even harder. Rayne’s middle rope crossbody bounces off of her so a rollup works a little better. An enziguri gives Rayne two but Grace Pounces her right back down.

Some knees to the back set up a not quite giant swing as Rayne’s back is in trouble. A backbreaker into a side slam keep Rayne down but the Vader Bomb misses. Rayne gets two off a high crossbody and she gets in a rear naked choke. That’s broken up as well and a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb gives Grace two. Grace has had it and the Grace Driver finishes Rayne at 8:48.

Rating: C. This is why Rayne was brought back in. She’s not the best in the world, but you’re going to get a good match from her and everything she does looks fine. Couple that with a resume and a pretty good promo and it’s easy to see the value in her. Put her in there with the newer talent and see what she can do for them.

Post match here’s Taya for a fight with Grace but Johnny comes out for a distract so Taya can beat her down. Johnny goes up for the Countdown To Impact but Cage makes the save.

Josh Alexander is coming and is presented like a psychopathic killer in amateur wrestling gear.

Josh recruits Ethan Page as his partner.

Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Bahh

Raju has both Singhs with him but there’s no KM. Bahh jumps over an early legsweep attempt and hits the spinning belly to belly. The charge hits post but Bahh is fine with a Samoan drop. There’s a running crossbody to set up the Banzai Drop but Singh knocks Bahh down, giving Raju the pin with feet on the ropes at 2:59.

Post match here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to slap Raju and it’s a double splash in the corner. Scarlett’s running hip attack (after pulling the dress up) lets her celebrate with Bahh.

The Deaners, a couple of rednecks, get Impact contracts.

Swann vs. Callihan for the X-Division Title is set for Rebellion.

Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame career and the current feud with Tessa Blanchard.

Tessa Blanchard says Gail was great in the era of bra and panties match. Now people like Gail and Madison are trying to relive their glory days. This is Tessa’s era and in this era, Gail isn’t a legend.

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards vs. LAX

Before the match, Konnan gets in an argument with Drake and punches him, meaning it’s an early ejection. The fight is on and we do that really annoying thing of taking a break less than twenty seconds in. Back with Santana punching Eddie until a blind tag lets Drake come in and take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ortiz and it’s back to Eddie for a headbutt, which might hurt him more given the thickness of that hair. Drake gets two off a neckbreaker but Ortiz is right back with a middle rope dropkick for a breather.

It’s back to Santana to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A tiger driver gives Eddie two on Santana with Ortiz making the save. That means a rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick into the double belly to back faceplant for two on Eddie with Drake making the save. The Street Sweeper is loaded up but here are the Lucha Bros for a distraction. That’s enough for Drake to get in a shot with Kenny, setting up the Boston Knee Party to finish Ortiz at 10:55.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and giving us a new main event team is a good thing. Drake and Eddie have more than enough of a combined resume to hang with either team and giving them this win is the right move. They could challenge the winners of Full Metal Mayhem for the titles…or at least they could if Impact hadn’t decided to release Drake for not liking one of their not great ideas.

Post match the Lucha Bros runs in and beat down LAX, with Santana being powerbombed through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Nothing was bad on here, though nothing was must see either. That’s not a bad place to be for a show like this with very little importance. Rebellion is looking like any Impact pay per view: a solid card up and down but nothing that I’m overly excited to see. I’ll take a good but not great card over nothing shows though so they’ve moved to a nice new reality.

Results

Petey Williams b. Trey Miguel, Idris Abraham, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince and Ace Austin – Super Canadian Destroyer to Crist

OVE b. Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Swann

Jordynne Grace b. Madison Rayne – Grace Driver

Fallah Bahh b. Rohit Raju – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. LAX – Boston Knee Party to Ortiz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Pancakes And Piledrivers III: I Hope There’s A Bullet In That Revolver

IMG Credit: Wrestling Revolver

Pancakes And Piledrivers III
Date: April 6, 2019
Location: New York Hilton Midtown, New York City, New York
Commentators: Bork Torkelson, Don Callis

This is from Wrestling Revolves, where the idea is that you get something different every time. There’s a bonus in this show though as if you’re in the crowd, you get free pancakes. That alone should be more than enough to get people to show up but there’s also the whole wrestling thing on the side. Let’s get to it.

A rather ridiculous thirty minutes after the scheduled start time, we get a DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME message.

Opening sequence, with a song about the pancake robot coming to town.

The ring announcer introduces Jimmy Jacobs as our host….and he’s accompanied by the Rascalz dressed as pancakes. The Rascalz carry Jimmy around the ring and it’s time to throw out bags of swag. Jimmy explains that the hotel won’t allow them to give you pancakes so the Rascalz are the pancakes instead. They run off and I guess we’ll be seeing them later.

David Starr vs. Moose vs. Brian Cage

Starr, from Philadelphia, is billed from London and doesn’t get his monikers so he’s not happy. He has a card with the names listed, though Jacobs adds his own twists and the arguing continues. Moose and Cage stare each other down and Starr doesn’t like being left out. We get the MOOSE vs. the Terminator clap until Starr tries chopping both of them. Starr can’t slam or suplex either guy so they launch him into the air for a crash, leaving Cage to headscissor Moose.

An exchange of pump kicks goes nowhere but Starr manages to drop them both throat first over the rope. That means a double suicide dive and the brainbuster to the knee for two on Moose. Cage German suplexes both of them at the same time and an F5 gets two on Starr. Moose’s chokebomb out of the corner gets the same on Cage with Starr making a save of his own. A powerbomb backbreaker takes Starr down again and the Drill Claw makes it worse, only to have Moose throw Cage outside and steal the pin at 5:49.

Rating: D+. The story was simple enough and I’m surprised that they didn’t go with Starr getting the fluke win. Starr being in over his head was making me chuckle as he continues to be all over Wrestlemania weekend. I’m guessing the match ran short because of the crazy long delay to start the show, which really didn’t do the show any favors.

Tag Team Titles: Gauntlet Match

The Besties in the World (Davey Vega/Matt Fitchett, who come out to I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden) are in first and Aussie Open are in second (out of six). Davey walks into a double flapjack to start and a backbreaker into a backsplash gets two. Everything breaks down and the Besties both get an abdominal stretch on Davis at the same time. Fletcher is right back with a standing Lionsault and it’s Vega getting chopped in the corner.

Davey finally gets in a kick to the face and makes the tag with Fitchett hitting a high crossbody for two on Fletcher. A running knee gets the same but it’s Davis coming back in to clean house. Davis picks Vega up for a jumping cutter from Fletcher but a running kick to the face finishes Davis at 7:40.

The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz/Dezmond Xavier this time around) are in third and the Besties are right there to slow them down, including a backflip kick to the head on the apron. Not that it matters as Vega is run over and the shoving moonsault gives Wentz the pin at 9:35. The Lucha Bros are in fourth and it’s a quick exchange of superkicks with the Bros getting the best of things. Wentz gets kicked down and a double superkick makes it even worse. The wheelbarrow splash gets two on Xavier and the Pentagon Driver gets rid of the Rascalz at 12:30.

Hang on though as the Rascalz jump the Bros as LAX (defending champions) is in fifth. The four of them beat the Bros down but LAX superkicks the Rascalz and pin the Bros at 15:36. Team Tremendous (Bill Carr/Dan Barry) are in last with LAX right there to jump them. Barry is right back up for an Asai moonsault onto both of them, followed by a running flip dive from the bigger Carr.

They get inside with Ortiz kicking Barry away and it’s off to Santana vs. Carr. A big clothesline gives Carr two but everything breaks down. Santana superkicks Barry into a cutter for two with Carr making the save. The Street Sweeper is broken up and it’s an electric chair Sliced Bread to finish Ortiz for the titles at 20:54.

Rating: C-. As usual in a gauntlet match, the fast falls didn’t help things but at least they had a surprise ending with what seems to be a fun team winning the titles. There were some awesome teams in there and I really wish we could have seen some of them have some longer segments, but there’s not exactly time for something like that. Not bad, but pretty disappointing.

AR Fox vs. Sammy Guevara vs. Ace Austin vs. JT Dunn

Fox has three dancing guys (collectively called the Skulls) with him and a lot of noise is made. Dunn and Fox get together and beat the other two down to start until Dunn forearms Fox by mistake. Guevara picks up the pace with an enziguri and a springboard high crossbody for no cover on Fox. With everyone else on the floor, Austin hits a running flip dive onto the three of them…and now it’s time for Fox and company to dance. They dive onto the other three anyway and Fox dives onto everyone.

Austin fires off kicks from the apron until Fox gets in a kick of his own. Guevara and Dunn chop it out with Sammy hitting Feast Your Eyes for two. Dunn sends Austin outside and hits a rolling cutter for two on Guevara. Austin throws Guevara into the air for a cutter but Dunn makes the save to put everyone down. Dunn’s rollup with tights gets two on Fox so Fox hits a springboard Downward Spiral to plant Dunn for the same. Ace is back in with a top rope spinning Fameasser for two on Sammy as Fox makes another save. Dunn’s Death By Elbow (discus elbow) finishes Fox at 8:52.

Rating: C+. This was a lot of fun with everyone moving as fast as they could. They weren’t going for anything more than one spot after another and that’s a perfectly good decision in a match like this. Dunn and Austin looked good here, though I’m not sure what the point of the Skulls was. They just came and went and didn’t change anything, so why even have them out there in the first place?

Open Invite Scramble Title: Caleb Konley vs. Jake Manning vs. Ian Maxwell vs. Daga vs. Lance Anao’i vs. Mance Warner vs. Arik Cannon vs. Trey Miguel vs. Jon Skyler vs. Shigehiro Irie vs. Clayton Gaines vs. KTB

Konley is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Daga and Miguel go nuts by hiptossing everyone until the referee hiptosses Miguel for a change. Warner comes back in but gets crotches by KTB, leaving Daga to come off the top with a Meteora to make KTB DDT Mance. Lance superkicks Skyler, who hits a double superkick along with Gaines. Daga runs the ropes to headscissor Maxwell and wristdrag KTB at the same time.

Irie comes in and gets to run everyone over but it’s Mance coming back in to offer Cannon a beer. Gaines comes back in with his energy drink and gets beer spat in his face, though he’s fine enough to clothesline Warner and Cannon down. Konley remembers he’s in the match and powerbombs Maxwell onto the pile but Skyler cuts him down with a slingshot spear. Maxwell and Miguel hit their own running dives, followed by one from KTB off the top.

Back in and Miguel hits a 619 on Maxwell but Manning cuts him off with a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral. Daga comes back in to beat up Gaines and it’s time for Warner to put Skyler on top. That’s not the best idea as it’s a super Regal Roll to drop Warner with Lance coming off the top with a Superfly Splash. Konley and Irie get their turn now with Konley not being able to get a sunset flip.

Irie manages to piledrive Cannon onto Konley, leaving Lance and Miguel to go Coast to Coast at the same time. Hang on though as Manning, the Manscout, needs to bring in a tent. Skyler knocks Manning into the tent but he’s right back up for the Tower of Doom to drive a bunch of people through the tent. Konley rolls Maxwell up to retain the title at 14:38.

Rating: D. I get the idea here but it’s too long and messy to really work. Cut it down to six or so and this would have worked far better than the dozen wrestlers in there at once. It’s a bunch of spots, many of which weren’t all that great in the first place. This definitely wasn’t a terrible match but the concept didn’t work with this many people involved at once.

Jacobs thanks the fans for being so awesome and makes fun of Callis.

Adam Brooks vs. Matt Cross

Cross is better known as Son of Havoc from Lucha Underground. Brooks is replacing Sonjay Dutt for some reason. Brooks gets aggressive to start and catches a running Cross in a Downward Spiral into the buckle. An elbow to the face stops Brooks and there’s the first suicide dive.

Back in and Cross misses a top rope double stomp, allowing Brooks to hit a Backpack Stunner. A double stomp to the ribs works better for Cross but Brooks catches him in a fireman’s carry facebuster. That sends Cross outside for a suicide dive into a sloppy tornado DDT but he’s fine enough to dropkick Brooks down. The shooting star press finishes Brooks at 4:39.

Rating: C-. It was nice to have a singles match for once, though they went through it so fast that it didn’t exactly have a lot of impact. The energy was there though and that helped keep the show going well enough. I could have gone for more of this and that’s about as good of an endorsement as you can have.

Jacobs decides the next match will be for the X-Division Title. Bork: “Can he do that?” Callis: “No.”

X-Division Title: Chuck Mambo vs. Rich Swann

Mambo is “gnarliest wrestler in the world” and seems to like beach balls. Swann, now without facial hair, has Jason Cade of the Crew faction with him. Mambo takes him down by the arm to start before sending Swann into the corner, meaning it’s time to dance. A wristlock makes Swann scream until he bounces out of it as the pace picks up. An inverted Gory Stretch has Swann in more trouble but a Cade distraction lets him slip out. Mambo gets dropkicked out of the air. The stepover kick to the face gives Swann two but Mambo explodes with chops and punches to the chest.

A Blockbuster drops Swann and a springboard Meteora gets two. Mambo gets hurricanranaed off the top but he’s fine enough to superkick Swann to the floor. That means a double jump springboard flip dive onto Swann and Cade for the big spot of the match. Back in and Swann’s Lethal Injection gets two but a second attempt is countered into a Backstabber. Cade breaks up a cover off the springboard splash, which isn’t an ejection for some reason. Mambo chases him inside and gets rolled up for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: C. Mambo’s gimmick was a little goofy but once he got into the actual wrestling, he wasn’t bad at all and the match was pretty good. Swann looks so strange without his goatee but at least he can still have a good match. I could go for more of Mambo and that’s a big reason to watch these shows: you never know who you might see for the first *time.

Ace Romero vs. Fallah Bahh vs. Larry D. vs. Dan Maff vs. Madman Fulton vs. Jacob Fatu vs. Jessika Havoc

Havoc is a surprise surprise entrant and aside from her, Fulton is the smallest at 305lbs. Everyone goes after her and it’s a six way crush to send her outside. Larry powerbombs Fatu and catches Maff’s crossbody until Fulton kicks them both down. Fulton slams Bahh but Romero takes both of them down. Havoc slams the 385lb Romero but Bahh gives her a Banzai Drop with Fulton having to make a save. Fatu superkicks Maff, only to miss the handspring moonsault.

Romero goes to the middle rope for no logical reason, allowing Fulton to hit a Regal Roll but he dives into a Samoan drop from Bahh. With everyone else on the floor, Havok hits a suicide dive but Fatu drives over the top to take all of them out in a more impressive landing. Back in and Maff’s Burning Hammer gets two on Havok with Romero making a save and then diving onto Maff. Fatu moonsaults Havok for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: D+. There were some impressive spots in there and they were very smart to keep it short. If you have these bigger wrestlers going too long, it’s going to get lethargic and sloppy so going with the quick form was certainly the right call. Havoc and Romero were impressive, though I still don’t know how WWE didn’t see the potential in Fulton.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Ricky Shane Page

I’ve never seen Page wrestle but he has some size and smiles a lot. They stall a lot with Tessa not shaking his hand and then slapping him in the face. The lockup finally starts after two minutes, followed by Tessa hitting a good looking tornado DDT. A dropkick to the back of the head has Page in more trouble so he slaps Tessa into the corner. That ticks Tessa off and she unloads with forearms before taking it outside to beat Page up against the barricade.

Page blasts her with an overhand chop but she jumps to the apron to kick Page in the face. A hard suicide dive sends Page into the barricade and Tessa plants him with an impressive Samoan drop. Page shoves her away and hits a splash but gets caught in another tornado DDT for two. Back up and a top rope superplex drops Tessa and a chokebreaker gets two more. Tessa gets taken up top again but counters into a super Canadian Destroyer….for two. Magnum and the Buzzsaw DDT finish Page at 13:26.

Rating: C-. This was longer than it needed to be and the kickout of the Destroyer was ridiculous. If you’re going to finish the match thirty seconds later, why even have the kickout in the first place? Tessa winning is hardly a surprise as she’s one of the best female wrestlers in the world right now and Page is just a big guy who didn’t do anything special here.

Jacobs introduces us to a dog named Nami and tells us to come see her at the Wrestling Revolver booth.

OVE vs. Unwanted

OVE has a loud manager named JT Davidson. The Unwanted is Shane Strickland/Joe Gacy/Eddie Kingston (with Colby Corino) and this is Shane’s final independent match. OVE isn’t having this big entrance and the fight is on in a hurry. We settle down to Eddie STOing Dave but taking a neckbreaker from Jake. Strickland comes in for his anklescissors into a dropkick and a running dropkick to the knee.

Now it’s Sami coming in for the staredown and he doesn’t understand why Shane won’t shake hands after Sami spit on it. Instead it’s a kick to the face but Sami forearms Shane out to the floor. Sami goes outside as well and it’s Gacy diving onto all of them, followed by Dave hitting a dive into a tornado DDT. Colby tries a dive of his own but gets superplexed onto the pile. Not to be outdone, Davidson hits his own flip dive and the referee adds a non-flip dive.

Back in and it’s the Tower of Doom as they’re getting through all of the six man spots in a hurry. Shane nails his snap German suplex on Dave, followed by the rolling cutter. The Cactus Piledriver gives Sami two on Shane and Jake’s cutter gets the same (just a regular cutter as he couldn’t hit the jumping version). With everyone else going to the floor, Sami spits at Shane, who spits right back. Shane snaps the arm back and the Swerve Stomp connects for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: B-. This felt rushed, which is probably the case as they seemed to want to be out by the top of the hour and had to hurry to get done on time. Strickland is going to be a heck of a talent in WWE due to how smooth he can be in the ring. Callihan was his usual vile self and the Crists were every bit as awesome as usual. Gacy didn’t show me much and Kingston was the same brawler he’s been for years, meaning your mileage may vary.

Post match Sami hugs Strickland. The announcers sign off but Sami grabs the mic and says he quit WWE for reasons like this. Sami saw something in him when no one else did and now it’s time for Shane to be the leader of this generation. Shane thanks the locker room because they’re his brothers. It took him ten years to get here and his first WrestleCon was in New York/New Jersey and now he’s leaving here as well. Strickland talks about wrestling in England, where everything just clicked and the confidence started coming in.

That’s where Swerve started to come together and what he wanted to show everyone: confidence. He was in the military as a teenage and had two kids when he was nineteen. Wrestling was in his heart then and it’s in his heart now because he’s traveled the world and met people everywhere. Have confidence in yourself and there is swerve in all of you. Awesome speech and Strickland could be a star in NXT.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as there was just too much stuff going on to make it work. There were too many multi-man matches and trying to cram in as many people as you could. The wrestling was hit or miss, mainly because there wasn’t enough of a chance for anyone to stand out among everyone else. For a wild mess of a show it was passable, but it’s nothing that I’d want to watch again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 15, 2019: The Slow Moving Crawl

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

Things are rolling along as usual around here, which means a lot of the same stories that kind of need to go somewhere already. That’s one of Impact’s biggest problems and it’s been the case for years: they don’t seem to know how wrap up stories so things just keep going on and on for months. Hopefully we get some advancement soon because the good things that they have are rapidly approaching their expiration date. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Standard opening recap.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Tommy Dreamer

Yes seriously. It’s a brawl to start with Swann and Callihan being left in the ring until Rich kicks him to the floor. The good guys are left inside until it’s Dreamer and Sami starting things off, allowing Callis to talk about Dreamer sticking his nose into everything. Preach it man. Mack comes in to work on Jake’s arm and Dreamer adds a bottom rope ax handle. Dave takes over on Dreamer and it’s off to Sami for an elbow drop.

The Cactus Piledriver is countered though and it’s a catapult to send Sami into the corner. Mack comes back in for a powerslam and the standing moonsault, followed by a nip up. Dreamer drops an elbow and does his version of a nip up (it’s funny because he’s old and fat), leaving Mack and Swann to do their dives.

Instead of diving, Dreamer runs to the apron and climbs down for some right hands (it’s funny because he’s old and fat if you didn’t get the same joke a minute ago). Back from a break with Swann fighting out of Sami’s chinlock but getting caught in Jake’s reverse Rings of Saturn.

With that broken up, Dave works on the leg until a kick to the head lets Dreamer get the hot tag. Sami comes in to spit in Dreamer’s face as everything breaks down. Dreamer knocks all three of them into a corner for a running cannonball from Mack, and it’s stereo frog splashes onto the Crists. Tommy even hits his own splash onto Sami (BECAUSE HE’S OLD AND FAT!) but Callihan pops up and hits the Cactus Piledriver for the pin at 19:03.

Rating: C-. So now the heel commentator’s line is “Dreamer needs to go away because he keeps stealing spots from people”? Why would I disagree with that? Is is because Dreamer is a legend who won’t go away? Or is it because he’s old and fat and makes fun of being old and fat? It’s not funny but you can’t make fun of Dreamer because he was in ECW or something.

Brian Cage asks Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, if he’s ready for tonight. Johnny says he’ll be there. The swerve is strong with this one.

Video on Impact vs. Cage, with the title on the line tonight.

The Rascalz are in their circle when Moose joins them and wonders what’s up with Melissa Santos. Moose punches them all for making fun of his clothes.

Here’s Glenn Gilbertti to call out Scarlett Bordeaux, who he fights next week. Instead he gets a clown.

Glenn Gilbertti vs. Kikutaro

He’s a Japanese comedy guy in a mask. They fight over arm control to start with Kikutaro stopping to dance. Some shoulders don’t work so Glenn punches him down and whips Kikutaro across the ring over and over. The chinlock goes on for all of two seconds so Glenn slams him down but misses the Village People’s Elbow (with a YMCA dance). Kikutaro hits part of a Shining Wizard but a missed moonsault lets Glenn hit the Chartbuster (Stunner) for the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D. It’s kind of hard to complain that much about this story as it’s mostly harmless and isn’t getting a ton of time. Scarlett is going to beat Gilbertti up and the fans will be happy while no one of value takes a loss. They’re giving the story about five minutes a week and that’s all they need to do. In other words, this was harmless.

Taya Valkyrie isn’t worried about defending the Knockouts Title because her husband is in danger tonight.

Reno Scum vs. KM/Fallah Bahh

Rematch from a few weeks ago when Scum lost but beat them up after the match. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Scum taking over and sending Bahh into the steps. KM gets punched in the corner until an enziguri drops Luster. There’s no Bahh though, meaning KM has to clothesline Thornstowe down before making the real hot tag. The Samoan drop gets two on Thornstowe, followed by Luster going shoulder first into the post. That’s enough for Bahh to hit a belly to belly for the pin on Thornstowe at 4:32.

Rating: D. Another nothing match but that’s the best way to use Scum. They’re just loud and obnoxious which isn’t enough to make me want to see them stick around. I don’t say this often but KM and Bahh deserve better than this. Hopefully this was just for the Las Vegas tapings as I really don’t want Scum around regularly.

Konnan asks the Lucha Bros when they’re giving LAX their rematch. That’s not happening so Konnan threatens them as they leave.

Post break Konnan tells them that there’s no rematch yet. LAX doesn’t seem worried because it’s going to be a street fight.

Tessa Blanchard vs. Jordynne Grace

#1 contenders match. Tessa can’t do much with the power to start so Jordynne runs her over with a clothesline. The threat of a splash in the corner makes Tessa pull the referee in front of her, meaning it’s a hard forearm to Jordynne’s face. The hanging Downward Spiral is countered but Tessa grabs the Codebreaker for two instead. That kickout doesn’t sit well with Tessa so she hammers away but walks into a spinebuster.

Back from a break with Tessa unloading with forearms until a Michinoku Driver gets Jordynne out of trouble. A Muscle Buster is broken up and Tessa hits some kind of a swinging reverse DDT. Tessa goes up but spends too much time talking about Gail Kim, allowing Grace to slam her down. An elbow to the face staggers Jordynne but she’s right back with the Grace Driver (pumphandle driver) for the pin at 10:21.

Rating: C. Nice power match here, even if we’re just killing time until Kim vs. Blanchard. I mean, you have to give them time to set up the 194 video packages on how legendary and amazing Kim really is. Grace going after the title could be interesting as you can only have a monster like her in the midcard for so long.

Tessa sells the heck out of the driver and barely moves. After she finally gets up, Tessa snaps, yells about Kim some more and beats up the timekeeper. Gail Kim comes in for the save and clears the ring.

United We Stand ad.

Tessa yells at Scott D’Amore and demands something be done about Gail. Speaking of Gail, she comes in and yells as well, earning herself a suspension. This story really doesn’t warrant such a long build.

United We Stand rundown.

GWN Flashback Of The Week: Brian Cage vs. Eli Drake from last year’s Lucha Underground vs. Impact show.

Rosemary tries to get inside Allie’s head and find the Bunny. Allie says it’s gone and laughs because Rosemary looks pathetic. Rosemary: “WHERE’S THE BUNNY?” This is more interesting, even though we had to sit through all those losses for Allie and company.

Callihan yells about Swann turning his back on OVE. Now he’s going to take everything from Swann, starting with the X-Division Title next week.

Desi Hit Squad vs. Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake

Eddie and Raj start things off and trade some right hands before it’s off to both partners. It’s already back to Edwards to chop Raju, who brings Raj back in for a flapjack into a sliding knee from Raju. A jumping Downward Spiral gets two and Eli gets knocked off the apron. That’s too much for him so he comes in sans tag to beat up the Squad, which amazingly enough isn’t all that hard. Gama Singh gets on the apron for a distraction so Drake throws in Kenny, allowing Eddie to knock Raju cold for the pin at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The Hit Squad is less annoying than they used to be but they’re still not an act that I want to watch every week. Drake and Edwards are fine as a team and Drake getting a tweener push is rather interesting for a change. He’s still one of the best talkers in the company and it’s a good idea to see him getting this kind of a chance. Throw in the eternally good Edwards and they might have something here.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Brian Cage

Impact is defending and comes out first…being carried unconscious on Killer Kross’ back. Kross has a cinder block with him too and grabs a chair for a bonus. Security runs in and gets beaten up so Kross can put Johnny’s head against the block. Taya tries to bring Cage in for the save but he stays on the ramp as Cage yells at Taya instead. Cage finally comes in and takes out Kross, allowing Taya to hit Cage low. Impact nips up and destroys Cage, putting the block on his head and blasting it with a chair. Kross laughs from the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event angle was nice and FINALLY advanced the story somewhat, though the rest of the show left a lot to be desired. You can only get so far with doing the same stuff over and over, but for some reason Impact is fine with spinning their wheels on stories for months at a time. There’s a long way to go before Rebellion but you can at least see the card being set up. As usual: some good stuff here and there, just not enough that makes you want to come back.

Results

OVE b. Tommy Dreamer/Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Dreamer

Glenn Gilbertti b. Kikutaro – Chartbuster

KM/Fallah Bahh b. Reno Scum – Belly to belly to Thornstowe

Jordynne Grace b. Tessa Blanchard – Grace Driver

Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards b. Desi Hit Squad – Kendo stick to Raju

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – March 8, 2019: Keep Moving Forward

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2019
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

I’m not sure what to expect this week as we have the latest round in the main event four way feud, which hasn’t been great so far but last week offered a bit of a twist with Johnny Impact injuring his neck. Other than that we have the in-ring debut of Scarlett Bordeaux, which screams screwy angle. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Preview/recap.

Opening sequence.

Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page

Non-title. Swann starts with his flip over Page and scores with a dropkick, only to get punched into the ropes. A reverse implant DDT gets two and a backbreaker makes things even worse for Swann. Page stops to pose again but it doesn’t seem to matter as he’s fine enough to stomp away in the corner.

A running flip neckbreaker gets Swann out of trouble and sets up the running flip dive to the floor. Swann’s frog splash (heck of a good one too) gets two but he gets crotched on top, setting up a Snowplow for two. They trade forearms, punches and kicks to the face until Swann hits a long string of them, setting up a Lethal Injection. The middle rope Phoenix splash finishes Page at 8:01.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of opener I can get behind. They didn’t stay out there too long but had enough time to put on an entertaining match with both guys getting to show off. Swann is becoming a bigger and bigger star around here and Page has put on consistently good matches for weeks now.

Post match here’s OVE to address Swann again. This is the night that Swann finally joins OVE because Swann has said that Sami Callihan is family. Swann puts on the shirt and the team poses, leaving Swann to lay the three of them out and bail in a scene that worked for Diamond Dallas Page in 1997 and works for Swann here.

LAX asks Konnan to get their rematch for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says let him do his job and watch the Lucha Bros vs. the Rascalz.

The announcers recap last week’s injuries to Brian Cage and Johnny Impact.

The annoying interviewer tried to talk to Cage and got thrown out.

Ace Austin vs. Jake Atlas

Austin loves cards and maybe some slight of hand magic. Atlas’ wristlock doesn’t work to start and it’s Austin rolling forward with a legsweep and kick to the back. A bicycle kick gives Atlas one and Austin is right back with a double springboard kick to the face. Something like Murphy’s Law takes Austin down for two but he stomps Atlas down and hits a running Blockbuster (the Fold) for the pin at 3:29.

Rating: C-. Atlas got in a lot of offense here but Austin has the charisma and style to make him look like a star. I’ve seen him before and he’s got everything he needs to be a big deal. As usual it depends on how Impact handles him, which has been a hit or miss set of results over the years.

Johnny Impact, in a neck brace, and Taya Valkyrie join us via satellite for an interview with the annoying reporter (this guy has to be a rib on someone). Cage is getting his title shot no matter how bad Johnny’s neck is.

Reno Scum wants a rematch with KM and Fallah Bahh.

Here’s Alisha Edwards for a chat. Her contract expires at the end of this month and she has some decisions to make. She enjoys hitting people with kendo sticks but maybe it’s time to start a family. Cue the Desi Hit Squad with Rohit Raju saying it’s time for a woman to make some sense. Having a family is her job and women need to stay out of the ring. Alisha slaps Gama Singh and here’s Eddie Edwards to clean house with Kenny. The Squad beats him down but Eli Drake makes a rather slow save.

Cage isn’t happy with the reporter, who shows him a clip of something that gets on Cage’s nerves even worse.

Eddie thanks Eli but isn’t interested in going after the Tag Team Titles. Alisha says Eli is all Eddie has left so take what you can get. Eddie agrees to team up against the Desi Hit Squad next week. The one thing I get out of this: Alisha shouldn’t be talking.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week: Jeremiah Snake (Sami Callihan) vs. Eddie Edwards from last year’s Impact vs. Lucha Underground show.

Moose and Killer Kross are happy with injuring Impact and Cage. They should both get title shots and if they don’t get them, it means more pain.

The Rascalz talk about getting superpowers from a robot. They talk about wearing masks and mock Moose’s pink sports coat.

Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie vs. Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan

This is the Dark War (meaning it’s fought under a red light) for Allie’s soul and I’d assume anything goes here. James Mitchell is at ringside to make things all the more evil. It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to tagging, because that’s what you do in a War. Kiera throws Yung around to start and we get the Allie vs. Rosemary showdown. At least I think we do as I can barely see what’s going on here.

Grace comes in for a heck of a release German suplex on Allie to give Kiera two but Yung offers a distraction. That’s enough for Allie to snap off a cutter and we take a break. Back with Allie clotheslining Kiera down for two, followed by the slow stomping in the corner. Su grabs an armtrap choke on Kiera but it’s back to Allie, who gets kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Rosemary for the big showdown and everything breaks down. Rosemary drops Allie and it’s the parade of secondary finishers. Yung mists the Maid by mistake and a spear gives Rosemary the pin on Yung at 11:54.

Rating: D+. This was a run of the mill six woman tag, which isn’t what you expect from a match billed as the Dark War. I was having more problems telling who was who in the whole thing and that made for a pretty disappointing story. To be fair though, that was the case with the entire story as Allie going evil was a complete disappointment from almost every side.

Post match Rosemary puts Allie on a leash and drags her away, launching a thousand fanfics in the process.

Glenn Gilbertti is still trying to figure out what he’s doing and Konnan sends him to yell at Don Callis. A fight is teased but it’s Killer Kross instead. The lights go out and screaming ensues.

Back from a break with Gilbertti hearing Vince Russo’s voices and looking for Callis. He thinks he finds Cody and the Young Bucks but is mistaken again. Scott D’Amore says Callis is on commentary because that’s his job. Gilbertti is NOT wanted for commentary but comes to the desk anyway.

Josh Matthews brings out Scarlett Bordeaux for her first match, though I’m not sure if the full body suit and heels are the best attire. The talent search made sense because those people were all falling over themselves so they weren’t going to be a success in the ring. Gilbertti was the biggest disaster though, which draws him into the ring for some yelling. Gilbertti: “You know what’s going to happen if you wrestle. You’re going to suck.” She slaps him in the face and a challenge is thrown out. Gilbertti tells her to spend a week cooking, but Scarlett promises to make him her b**** next week.

Rosemary tells Kiera and Jordynne to leave because she’ll take care of Allie from here. Kiera isn’t happy but Jordynne says she’s good now.

Tessa Blanchard is in a #1 contenders match next week and is willing to beat Grace if she has to. It’s all just punishment for taking out Gail Kim.

Rascalz vs. Lucha Bros

Non-title with Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz for the Rascalz. Xavier and Fenix start things off and they circle each other for the first minute. A kick to the ribs has Fenix in some short lived trouble but the Bros start firing off the kicks, including a superkick to Wentz on the floor. Back in and the Codebreaker/top rope double stomp to the back combination sets up the wheelbarrow splash for two on Xavier.

Some right hands and elbows get Xavier out of trouble long enough for a tag off to Wentz and a handspring knee to the head hits Pentagon. Back up and Pentagon kicks Wentz’s leg out on the ropes but Xavier is right there with the big flip dive (launched by Wentz to make it even better) onto both Bros. Wentz’s Swanton into the Final Flash from Xavier gets two on Pentagon, leaving Fenix and Xavier to slug it out again. Pentagon is back up though and it’s a superkick into the Pentagon Driver to finish Wentz at 7:48.

Rating: B-. I could have gone for more of this and that’s a good way to end a show. The big thing here was the Rascalz hanging with the champs and looking good in a match they weren’t going to win. The Lucha Bros are going to have another match with LAX and then Rob Van Dam and Sabu (because reasons) so there wasn’t any doubt here. It was still fun while it lasted though as the Rascalz have become some of my favorites around here in a hurry.

The Bros go to the back where they run into Konnan. They ask him (in Spanish with subtitles and then English because wrestling reasons) to tell LAX not to mess with their masks because that’s not what men do. Konnan tries to calm things down and says LAX wants a rematch. That’s not happening because it’s too soon (fair) but Konnan says he’s not asking. Next time he sees the champs, they better have a date.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a good show overall with some nice wrestling including a strong main event, but there was no way around that Dark War being such a terrible result. You call it a war and don’t even have it hardcore? The storytelling worked well in spots and that’s where Impact does best. Nice show here as they keep moving forward in the right direction.

Results

Rich Swann b. Ethan Page – Phoenix splash

Ace Austin b. Jake Atlas – The Fold

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Kiera Hogan b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor/Allie – Spear to Yung

Lucha Bros b. Rascalz – Pentagon Driver to Wentz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ohio Valley Wrestling TV – February 25, 2019: We Need Impact

IMG Credit: Ohio Valley Wrestling

Ohio Valley Wrestling
Date: February 25, 2019
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Gilbert Corsey, Ted McNaler, Josh Ashcraft

I’m hoping the rubber show is an improvement as I’ve watched two shows so far and the second was pretty much a disaster. I believe this is the go home show for the Impact show but it’s kind of hard to tell given the way the shows are posted around here. Hopefully this one is better though or I’ve wasted some money on the Impact show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan, the Crist Brothers, Madman (Sawyer) Fulton and Ace Austin are in the front row, though I wouldn’t quite associate Fulton and Austin with Impact.

We recap Callihan spitting in Tony Gunn’s face last week.

Here’s Gunn to a decent face reaction to say that things are going to be a little different this week. Gunn issues a challenge for Sami to come in the ring right now but Callihan doesn’t bite. Ok he probably does but not here. Gunn spits at him so the fight is on immediately. The rest of the Impact guys jump the barricade and the beatdown is on with Sami grabbing the OVW Title to knock Gunn silly. Some of the locker room runs out for the big brawl. Commissioner Dean Hill finally comes out to break things up. Good segment, though it showed the complete lack of star power in OVW.

The War Kings come in to see King’s Ransom and the one on one match for the future title shot isn’t happening.

Drew Hernandez vs. Justin Smooth

I’m still not sure what the original issue is here. Hernandez offers a handshake which gets about the reception you would expect. Smooth is ready for the low blow and a right hand knocks Hernandez outside. The chase is on with Drew catching him by the legs for a crotching against the post. Another low blow keeps Smooth in trouble but he’s fine enough to kick Hernandez away.

Hernandez blasts him with a clothesline for two and loads up his own version of Street Justice. That’s blocked as well and Smooth hits a very weak atomic drop. A spinebuster works a bit better and Smooth loads up the low blow but stops to think about it. The delay lets Hernandez kicks him away, leaving him set up for the Sting falling low blow in a nice spot. Street Justice finishes Hernandez at 5:50.

Rating: D. Smooth has a great look and some potential but he needs a lot of ring time to make things come together. I’m sure he’ll get a chance at some point on his physique and build alone. Hernandez is pretty much a low blow and nothing else, which isn’t quite enough to make me care about him as a heel or anything else for that matter. The ending was fine but they spent WAY too much time in the chase.

Sinn Bodhi promises to make things weird next week. This is set to the Sanford and Son theme to make things that much better.

TV Title: Gauntlet Match

Shiloh Jonze is defending and it’s KTD and Crimson to start. Crimson is about a foot taller than KTD and does the hand on the head to block right hands. Some right hands to the body stagger Crimson but he’s right back with a beating in the corner. The referee gets shoved though and that’s a DQ to get rid of Crimson at 1:25. The beatdown continues until King’s Ransom runs in for the save to chase Crimson off but KTD can’t continue so it’s Brandon Espinosa in third and Melvin Maximus in fourth.

Brandon tries his luck with forearms and a low superkick for two but a running powerslam (with Melvin almost dropping him) gets rid of Espinosa at 4:23. Jaden Roller, Espinosa’s partner, is in fifth and gets powerslammed out at 4:43. Big Zo is in sixth as Melvin is exhausted despite being out there for about a minute and a half.

Melvin hits a hard shoulder but can’t slam the big guy. Instead it’s a Samoan drop into the Zo Bomb to get rid of Melvin at 7:23. Shiloh Jonze is in seventh to complete the field and brings Big D. out with him. Zo beats both of them up and avoids three straight elbows from D, which hit Jonze by mistake. A running crossbody finishes Jonze at 9:19.

Rating: D. Now this felt like an instance where they had nothing to do this week and just wanted to get in and out as fast as they could. That made for a bad match as they were rapid firing the eliminations with nothing having a chance to mean anything. On top of that, how was Melvin tired after two powerslams? That’s just sad.

Jaylee yells at Cali for taking the title last week. A woman makes a cameo to say she can hear them down the hall and they need an inside voice.

Thunderkitty vs. Miss Hannah

Thunderkitty is billed as 97 years old but doesn’t exactly do anything to fit the gimmick save for having a black and white entrance. They fight over a lockup to start until Hannah misses a charge in the corner. Hannah cartwheels away and gets in a few right hands. A quick distraction of the referee lets Thunderkitty poke her in the eye and grab a small package (again with the shoulder up) for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: D-. Egads this show needs to end now, or at least move on to something worthwhile. This was more terrible stuff with Thunderkitty doing nothing to make you think she’s any kind of an interesting gimmick. I’ve seen her multiple times in different promotions and it’s been the same each time. Did the crowd know about the gimmick or was it something you had to hear mentioned on commentary? If you didn’t hear it in the arena, I don’t know how you would have known otherwise.

Colton Cage calls Dustin Jackson in jail (which looks a lot like a locker room) and gets in the expected taunting. Dustin promises to get out and make it up to Dani, who happens to be next to Cage. A lot of ARE YOU SERIOUS BRO’s are shouted.

The Void comes out for a match but Crazzy Steve and Aamon jump them from behind. As the announcers recap the feud (The Void used to be their minions while they were all part of Abyss’ Army but they’ve broken free because they were always blamed for everything. It took ten seconds to recap and now I’m caught up. It’s not that hard.), the Void fights back but Winters misses a dive to the floor.

Another dive connects but the beatdown is on again with Steve pulling out a plastic bag to suffocate Winters (as he did to Chace Destiny a few weeks ago). Chace makes the save but Aamon brings in a chair. A spike DDT onto the chair destroys Nigel so referees can finally break it up. These guys are good villains and this has been the best thing about the three shows so far.

We look at the opening brawl.

Here’s Commissioner Danny Davis (he was the play by play guy for years so it’s nice to hear that voice again) to address things from earlier. He’s been on the phone with the Impact bosses and at the Impact show, it’s the Crist Brothers/Madman Fulton/Ace Austin vs. four stars to be named, plus Gunn vs. Callihan. This brings out Gunn but here’s Sami for the fight. The rest of the Impact guys run in but some of the locker room comes in and the brawl is on. Gunn hits a big dive and the Impact guys are taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well it was somewhat better, but at the same time it was some of the weaker wrestling I can remember seeing in a long time. Part of the problem is that so much of this show feels like it’s being used to build towards the Impact show, but with only one match officially announced, they’re lacking for stories on the rest of the weekly TV. Hopefully things are better when the Impact roster is here, because these three weeks didn’t instill me with confidence.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – January 18, 2019: I’m Running Out Of Ways To Insult This Show

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 18, 2019
Location: The Asylum, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re still in Nashville and that means the fallout from last week’s medium sized angle. Moose cost Johnny Impact his non-title match with Killer Kross, but Brian Cage is still lurking. We also get to find out who Scarlett Bordeaux’s new talent is, which could be a disaster. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the big stories, with the three way feud over the World Title getting some extra focus, including Moose interfering.

Opening sequence.

KM vs. Caleb Konley

Konley jumps him from behind but gets kicked in the face. We cut to Cage rampaging through the back and looking for Johnny as it sounds like the bell rings. Cage comes into the arena anyway and drops KM, which counts as the DQ at 1:39. So now I’m hearing phantom bells.

Post match Konley gets taken down as well and Fallah Bahh gets powerbombed out of the corner. KM gets an F5 on the ramp and Cage beats up the referee, who he blames for a bad count at Homecoming, as a bonus. Cage wants his title shot and he’s going to be watching next week’s title match with Kross in Mexico City. This brings out Johnny but Kross and Moose jump him on the stage. Cage watches the beatdown before slowly walking up to make the monsters leave. He carries Johnny to the ring but Moose and Kross come in to beat them both down. Pretty good stuff.

Post break Cage says he only cares about the World Title but he’ll beat Moose up tonight.

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Page

Eli Drake is on commentary. They trade some shots to the face as Drake goes on a rant about how he was told he stepped up at Homecoming, suggesting that he doesn’t do that every single week. Fair point. An overhead belly to belly sends Ethan outside and Drake is impressed. Page sends him into the steps to take over and we take a break.

Back with Eddie still in trouble in the corner until he catches Page on top. That means a super hurricanrana and a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. With Drake singing the Wolves’ theme, Eddie hits a suicide dive to keep Page in trouble and sending Drake into an anti-dive rant. Despite being in full control, Eddie grabs a kendo stick and blasts Page, followed by a swing at the referee for the DQ at 11:08.

Rating: C. As usual Drake was the most entertaining thing about this match and I’m so glad that he’s FINALLY getting something more interesting than the Tommy Dreamer/Abyss feud. Eddie is better than this but at least he’s done something other than talk about hardcore in the last five years. Their match should be good because there’s talent there and I’ll always take that.

Post match Eli grabs the mic and says Eddie is just a few sandwiches away from being Tommy Dreamer. Eddie used to be great and now he’s just another hardcore guy. When was the last time he was in the title scene? Maybe he should go back to the green tights and the old Eddie because that guy is great. This could be interesting.

GWN Flashback Of The Week: a six man cage match from 2003 featuring Abyss and CM Punk. How random.

OVE wants Rich Swann to come home but it’s also time to get the Tag Team Titles back. LAX vs. OVE was the bloodiest feud of 2017 and it’s back tonight.

The Rascalz are in their smoke circle, with a laugh track. Various unfunny shenanigans ensue.

Allie vs. Jordynne Grace

Su Yung and Kiera Hogan are here as seconds. Grace throws her down with a German suplex go start and a delayed gordbuster gets two. Yung’s distraction lets Allie get in some choking but it just fires Grace up. The Codebreaker out of the corner is blocked and Grace finishes her with a pumphandle driver for the pin at 2:36. I really don’t see the need to have Allie lose clean in less than three minutes.

Post match Allie and Jordynne leave but the lights go out and Rosemary is back, with Yung having disappeared. The terrified Allie bails in a hurry.

Scarlett Bordeaux has picked her new talent…and it’s herself. She’ll be wrestling soon. It fits her personality, but my goodness what a waste of time this whole thing has been.

Moose vs. Brian Cage

Cage hammers away to start and the referee is thrown down early on. A shoulder sends Moose outside and he chops the post by mistake, allowing Cage to start in on the hand. Moose tries a charge but gets caught in a powerbomb against the apron. Back in and Moose starts hammering on the knees because an apron bomb means nothing.

Some cannonballs down onto the leg keep Cage down until he uses the good leg to kick Moose outside. Moose is fine enough to wrap the knee around the post, followed by dropkicking the knee in the corner. Cage gets up for the forearm slugout until Moose takes him down with a dragon screw legwhip.

Back from a break with Moose hitting a pop up powerbomb into a backsplash but Cage pops up. The pop up powerbomb into a discus lariat gives Cage two but Moose catches him on the top with the chokebomb. Moose takes his time getting a chair (proper weapon selection is a thing) so Cage knees him in the face and hits the Drill Claw for the pin at 15:33.

Rating: B-. That’s a good way to make Cage seem like a monster and the kind of guy who should be right back in the World Title scene. Both of these guys are great at beating each other up and they had an entertaining match as a result. This isn’t really a hard concept and thankfully they didn’t do anything more than what they should have.

Taya Valkyrie is still banged up but will be back next week in Mexico City.

Killer Kross has hurt Johnny’s wife and he’ll take the title next week.

Tessa Blanchard rants about Gail Kim costing her the title and beats up a backstage worker. Gail Kim, who just happens to be here, pops up and a fight starts. Gail gets choked out without much effort.

Post break Tessa gets suspended. I’m sure Gail isn’t going to get in trouble though, because she’s Gail Kim.

Rich Swann vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title. Trey grabs a wristlock which goes as far as an opening wristlock is going to go. Rapid fire nipup get Swann out of trouble and they trade armdrags for a standoff with Miguel not exactly being intimidated. Swann gets sent outside for a dive and they head back in for more striking. A jumping hurricanrana brings Miguel off the top and a rather nice frog splash gets two. They hit a pinfall reversal sequence with Miguel getting a few more twos, followed by a heck of a superkick for two more. Swann kicks him right back though and the middle rope 450 finishes Trey at 5:49.

Rating: C+. Miguel really is fun to watch and it’s cool to see Swann looking motivated again. This was a nice little match as the X Division is finally feeling like it matters again. Swann is a good choice for a champion as he has the work and the charisma to be a star, which has been missing from the division for a long time.

Post match OVE comes out to offer Swann the shirt again. Before he answers, here’s LAX to start the main event.

LAX vs. OVE

Non-title and the brawl starts on the floor. Santana gets taken down on the floor and it’s Jake taking Ortiz inside to rip at his face. Sami cheap shots Ortiz from the floor and the chinlock goes on again as Dave kicks Santana on the floor. A middle rope dropkick gets Santana out of trouble and the house is cleaned with Ortiz tagging himself in.

LAX hits the double suicide dives but Santana gets caught with a superplex into a sitout powerbomb combination. He’s fine enough to hit a rolling cutter on Jake, setting up a Codebreaker from Ortiz. A superkick sets up a double belly to back faceplant to finish Jake at 7:08.

Rating: B-. Good while it lasted but I was hoping for a bit more than that. LAX is on another planet right now as they can do no wrong with only the Lucha Bros being able to hang with them at the moment. With Mexico City coming up, I think you know what might be coming up next.

Post match LAX heads to the back where the Lucha Brothers congratulate them. Ortiz offers them a rematch for the titles. Konnan: “WHAT??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”

Overall Rating: C+. A few minor booking choices aside, this was an entertaining show with a lot of stuff making sense and matches that I want to see in Mexico City. They’re doing better since Homecoming and that makes for some good television. Now if only they could get people to watch the shows.

Results

KM b. Caleb Konley via DQ when Brian Cage interfered

Ethan Page b. Eddie Edwards via DQ when Eddie used a kendo stick

Jordynne Grace b. Allie – Pumphandle driver

Brian Cage b. Moose – Drill Claw

Rich Swann b. Trey Miguel – Middle rope 450

LAX b. OVE – Double belly to back faceplant to Jake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Bound For Glory 2018: Sometimes You Need A Person To Shake You

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Bound For Glory 2018
Date: October 14, 2018
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

It’s the biggest night of the year and the card is looking pretty good this time around. The main event is fairly lackluster with Johnny Impact challenging Austin Aries for the World Title, but the better built match is LAX vs. the OGz, in a match that could go either way. You never can tell with this company though so let’s get to it.

The opening video shows shots of the streets of New York with the pictures of the matches on walls and clips of the build towards the matches. LAX walks the streets, talking about how this is a reload instead of a rebuild.

The camera is facing the entrance and the ring looks a bit smaller than usual.

Willie Mack/Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page/Matt Sydal

Interesting choice for an opener. Swann strikes away to start and it’s Sydal telling him to open his third eye. Instead it’s off to the Mack for a heavy flying tackle to drop Sydal, meaning Page comes in to try his luck. Swann headscissors him down but a backdrop gives us a 450, sending Swann face first into the mat. Sydal comes back in to start on the arm, including a Fujiwara armbar.

A big boot from Page and a kick to the face from Sydal send Swann outside, where there is barely any room between the ring and the barricade. It doesn’t seem to bother Mack, who cannonballs down onto the other three. That’s still not enough for the hot tag though as Sydal cranks on something like a cobra clutch back inside. A side slam cuts Swann off again but he rolls over and brings in Mack to clean house. That means a Cannonball in the corner and a German suplex to set up a standing moonsault on Page.

Swann comes back in for a flapjack/bulldog combination before taking Page to the top. That’s not the best idea, as Page slams him down and hits a Swan Dive for two more. Sydal knees Mack in the face and hurricanranas Swann off the top, only to have him land in a hurricanrana to send Page flying instead for a cool spot. Everything breaks down and it’s a series of kicks to the face to put everyone down. Page kicks Sydal by mistake and takes a Stunner, leaving Swann to hit a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix splash is good for the pin on Sydal at 12:34.

Rating: C+. Good choice for an opener here with the fans loving Mack and Swann being his usual charismatic self. IT makes sense to have Sydal take the pin as well with Page being the newcomer and full of potential. As usual, Sydal is much easier to watch when he’s in the ring instead of talking about the third eye stuff. Just stick to what you do best.

Post match the fans seem to like Mack, who grabs a mic and says there are two empty seats in the front row. Therefore, whoever cheers the loudest is getting an upgrade courtesy of the show’s sponsor. Nothing wrong with that.

The announcers plug swag from the sponsor.

Earlier this week Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie were on TMZ because Austin Aries made some jokes about Taya’s size. This led to a near fight at Abyss’ Hall of Fame induction.

Konnan has been attacked. LAX comes in and Konnan says it was some of King’s guys.

Here’s Eli Drake for his open challenge. The fans start up the Y2J chants but Drake wants to talk to us. He’s here in a town where the claim to fame is pizza but he sees some New York Giants. They can’t be answering his challenge because they’re 1-5. The fans finish his catchphrase…and James Ellsworth answers the challenge.

This does NOT go over well with the fans starting a DELETE chant. Ellsworth tries to suck up to New York but Drake points out that he’s not even from New York. That’s true, but he did date a girl from Staten Island (ERG) and lived in her basement for a bit. Fans: “PIZZA!” They also have some very mean things to say about Ellsworth so let’s do this, though after a Sweet Chin Music joke.

James Ellsworth vs. Eli Drake

Ellsworth tries a cheap shot but gets caught in a flapjack as the fans are all behind Drake. Sweet Chin Music is countered with a spinebuster, which earns a thank you from the crowd. Ellsworth loads up a Styles Clash but gets countered into the Gravy Train. The fans want one more so Drake obliges before the pin at 2:12. Just….push Drake to the moon as a huge face already. Please. It’s WAY overdue, even as a former World Champion. And keep Ellsworth out. That felt like the old days of TNA and that’s not a good thing.

Post match Drake says he wants better competition so here’s Abyss to destroy him. A Black Hole Slam sets up a chokeslam through a table for Abyss’ Hall of Fame moment. Nothing wrong with that, but he couldn’t beat up someone other than Drake?

Earlier today, Tessa Blanchard said she’s the real wrestling royalty.

We recap Blanchard vs. Valkyrie. Basically Blanchard was out of challengers so Valkyrie is back to come after the title. It does at least tie into Blanchard facing a bunch of luchadoras and Taya saying she’s lucha royalty.

Knockouts Title: Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya is challenging and has new gear, making her look like an old school Natalya cosplayer. Tessa works on a wristlock to start and the fans are behind the champ. A headscissors takes Tessa down and Taya kicks her in the head in the corner. Taya gets in a not great spear to put Tessa on the floor but a neckbreaker onto the apron has Taya in trouble. Back in and a Codebreaker out of the corner gives Tessa two but it’s way too early for the Buzzsaw DDT.

Taya is right back with some Spanish shouting and running knees in the corner. A guillotine choke with a bodyscissors has to be broken up by a Tessa dead lift and the fans chant something in Spanish that is completely ignored. They slug it out and the Buzzsaw DDT is broken up again but Taya can’t hit Road to Valhalla. Instead Taya chokeslams her down to set up a moonsault.

A stomp sets up the STF but Tessa is too close to the ropes. The referee stops to FIX THE RING SKIRT, meaning there’s no count off the Road to Valhalla. It’s a delayed two, meaning Tessa is right back up with the Buzzsaw DDT for two of her own. Taya is back up again so Tessa sends her face first into the middle buckle, setting up Magnum to retain the title at 10:44.

Rating: C+. Nice power brawl here with Tessa finally having someone who can go move for move with her. The ending was the only way to go as Taya hasn’t been around in the better part of six months so changing the title was almost out of the question. Now you can build someone else up to challenge Tessa for the title, because the division has been all but cleaned out at the moment.

Earlier today Moose, wearing what looks like an African king outfit, says he’ll show why he’s a legend.

We recap Moose vs. Eddie Edwards. Moose was put on the shelf with a concussion but came back and joined forces with Austin Aries. This includes helping to beat down Edwards, who never even visited him in the hospital. Moose is now part of the evil trio along with Aries and Killer Kross, so Edwards is out for revenge due to a series of beatdowns.

Eddie Edwards vs. Moose

Moos has thankfully changed his clothes and comes out with a group of attractive women. They start fast with Eddie going right after him but getting knocked away. The Boston Knee Party drops Moose and it’s time for the kendo stick…but here’s Killer Kross from the crowd (in a shirt and tie) for the DQ at 58 seconds.

Post match Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save so let’s have a No DQ tag match. BECAUSE WE NEEDED TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER ON THE SHOW!

Tommy Dreamer/Eddie Edwards vs. Moose/Killer Kross

No DQ and it’s a brawl to start (of course) with Dreamer spitting something into Kross’ eyes. That’s not enough though as he takes another drink, spits it into Edwards’ mouth, and then has Edwards spit it into Moose’s eyes. That’s a visual I really didn’t need. Moose and Dreamer slug it out inside with Moose shouldering him down but missing the backsplash. The fans chant for Low Ki (fair enough) as Kross makes the save, only to get elbowed down.

Dreamer pulls back the padding on the floor, leaving Moose to dropkick Eddie off the middle rope. Moose follows him out and hits a running….I have no idea actually as the camera switched angles. Or did Eddie do something to him? Either way it’s bad camera work and Eddie comes back in to chop Kross. A middle rope hurricanrana drops Kross but Moose hits the Game Changer on Dreamer.

Moose and Eddie chop it out with Eddie hanging in there until he can hit the Blue Thunder Bomb. Dreamer cutters Kross and grabs the kendo stick, only to get caught with the Doomsday Saito. A clothesline puts Kross on the floor and Moose gives Eddie a pop up powerbomb. It’s time to get the stick again, but Eddie rolls Moose up for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: D+. I’m split on this one as there was no need to put Dreamer on the show, but there was a need to put Kross on there. That being said, if you want to do the tag match, just announce it as a tag match. Advertising Moose vs. Edwards as a featured match on the card and then switching things up is rather annoying and something that shouldn’t be happening. On top of that, it wasn’t even a very good brawl as Dreamer should NOT be going move for move with either of these monsters. At least the ending went well enough.

Post match Kross and Moose wreck Edwards, including an assisted apron bomb.

OVE is ready to take a bite of the Big Apple and spit it in the Machine’s face. They’re the ratings draws and are going to put Ohio on the map.

We recap OVE vs. Brian Cage/Lucha Bros. Sami Callihan and Pentagon have been feuding for months and since Sami has the Crist Brothers, Pentagon brought in his brother Fenix and then Cage just joined in as a bonus. You have to get Cage on the show so this makes logical sense. I’d certainly take that over a nothing X-Division Title defense.

OVE vs. Lucha Bros/Brian Cage

OVE rules, meaning anything goes, for the second match in a row. Fenix is introduced as “The Mexican”. Cage has a taped up leg coming in so he might need some repairs. Everyone else is cleared out in a hurry and it’s Pentagon vs. Callihan in the big showdown. They trade shots to the face until Pentagon scores with the Sling Blades to take over. Cage comes back in but gets sent shoulder first into the post.

Fenix replaces him and speeds things up but a tiger suplex takes him down as well. Callihan kicks away at various people and Jake posts Cage head first. The Bros are back up with Pentagon holding the ropes open for a dive from Fenix, leaving Cage to toss Jake over the top off a fall away slam. The dead lift superplex gets two on Callihan and everyone is back in. Double superkicks get two on Dave and the Alberto double stomp gets two. Callihan has to save Jake from the Drill Claw but Callihan sends Cage outside.

That means Fenix runs down the ramp for a diving cutter for two more on Callihan. The Pentagon Driver gets the same on Dave and it’s time for a parade of people knocking each other down. Cage throws Callihan into the corner to set up the spike Fear Factor but the Crists make the save. The fall away slam/Samoan drop combination takes Jake and Dave down, followed by a Codebreaker to Dave.

Fenix gets on Pentagon’s shoulders but it’s Jake springboarding in for the All Seeing Eye. Ok so he slipped a bit but it still looked good enough. Callihan piledrives Pentagon on the apron but Cage is all fired up again. House is cleaned but a series of kicks rock Cage. The All Seeing Eye only makes him adder so OVE kicks him in the face about a dozen times, setting up the Cactus Piledriver for the pin on Cage at 13:28.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night so far and the ending was a nice surprise. It also sets up Callihan as the next challenger to the X-Division Title, which is hopefully turning into the midcard title that it should have been a long time ago. Cage got to stay strong in defeat, as it took three people unloading on him at once to finally put him away. That doesn’t hurt him in the slightest and this was an entertaining fight throughout.

Aries came back to this company to turn it into something special. Impact shows up when he has time and that’s not cool with the champ. Now that Impact’s reality show is airing, he’s back to make something out of it. Impact has Boone the Bounty Hunter and all the last names in the world. Aries says after last night at the press conference, his boys will be at ringside wit him. More good stuff from a recently inspired Aries here.

King says LAX can learn what they grew up with because it’s 3-2.

We recap the OGz vs. LAX. The teams have been warring for months now but their bosses have ordered a ceasefire. That ends tonight, with the OGz wanting to show LAX what it really means to fight in the streets.

LAX vs. OGz

Non-title. This is a Concrete Jungle Death Match, meaning all turnbuckle pads are off and the mat itself has been removed, leaving only the boards. It’s also a handicap match to start with King teaming with the OGz but Konnan being laid out. A band plays LAX to the ring and says this is for Konnan. You do know he was awake and talking after being attacked earlier right? LAX starts swinging trashcan lids to start and Hernandez is busted open less than thirty seconds in.

King breaks up a dive and Rock Bottoms Santana onto the wood as the referee tries to keep the boards together. Ortiz is back in with another lid shot but the numbers game takes him down, allowing Homicide to bash his head in with lid shots of his own. Some painted tables are sent in but Santana is sent outside. King dives out onto him but slams face first into the barricade for a bad looking crash.

Hernandez isn’t done though and Border Tosses Homicide onto LAX. Back in and Ortiz suplexes Homicide on the boards but gets Pounced through a table by Hernandez. Santana sends King into the corner and perhaps into the post, drawing Hernandez back in for the save. A double superplex onto the wood (great visual) takes Hernandez down…and here’s Konnan for some low blows and blackjack spots to clean house. The Street Sweeper finishes Homicide at 10:39.

Rating: C+. It was good, but they’ve done these violent brawls multiple times now. This time around, the OGz even had an advantage for most of the match and were even at best until Konnan came in. Once the old guy who can barely move came in, he beat the trio up almost on his own. There is zero reason for this feud to continue, though I have no idea who is supposed to take the titles from LAX anymore.

We look back at Allie making a deal with James Mitchell to go into the Undead Realm to save Kiera Hogan.

Allie, looking like she’s a Buffy the Vampire Slayer cosplayer (I think we have a theme tonight), walks into a room and shuts herself inside a coffin. The Bray Wyatt freaky images montage comes up and she gets out, with Mitchell waiting on her. Allie can go up to the chapel to find Kiera, but her soul stays here. Carrying a hatchet, Allie is attacked by an undead bridesmaid, who is HACKED TO DEATH, complete with blood splattering up onto Allie’s face. Well this just got a little more serious.

Another bridesmaid attacks and gets hacked (in the neck this time) but Allie finds a third….which is her with black eye shadow and lipstick. Allie walks away and finds the chapel, which has another coffin. Kiera is inside but here’s Su Yung with an ax for another fight. The ax is dropped so Su hits her a few times with a ball bat and knocks her out with the Mandible Claw.

Allie pops back up though and hatchets her in the neck. She runs over and awakens Kiera but can’t open the casket they used to get in the first place. A laughing Mitchell appears and says he never promised them a way out. Su is back and Allie and Kiera are surrounded so here’s the returning Rosemary (Rosemary: “Hi buddy!”) to punch the villains in the face.

They pry the coffin open but here’s Su with energy balls coming out of her hands. Rosemary has lightning coming out of hers, but the Bridesmaids pull her down as Allie and Kiera escape. Back in the real world, Kiera is happy to escape but Allie, sounding like a demon, says that was NOT ok.

So…..yeah this happened. The idea they were going for was fine (though it doesn’t work as well when Yung is losing as often as she’s winning) and it fit the Halloween time period, but having these things on an otherwise serious show (like the one with the Mexican mafia bossing people around) makes it stick out very badly. It’s not even a bad idea, but it doesn’t fit with the rest of the show. Now can we have Allie dressed as Buffy more often?

The next pay per view is Homecoming in Nashville on January 6.

Johnny Impact says maybe Aries would have been on TMZ if he wasn’t such a jerk. This isn’t all about Aries so Impact is going to take away what matters most to him.

We recap the World Title match. Aries has been the dominant champion and Impact is the one who has never won the big one. Impact wants to be the wrestler, but Aries thinks Impact doesn’t take anything seriously. Some of the promos for this have been outstanding, with Aries doing some of the best mic work I’ve ever seen from him.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Austin Aries

Aries is defending, Taya, Moose (in the King outfit again) and Killer Kross are here and we get Big Match Intros. Johnny goes for a takedown but gets caught in a guillotine choke with Aries grabbing the ropes for some illogical reason. Aries gets taken down by a choke as well and the fans chant 205. Impact changes plans by slugging away and knocks him to the floor with a dive to follow.

Back up and Aries tries to whip him into the barricade but Johnny jumps up with one foot on the barricade and the other on the apron for a moonsault. You know, because he can just do that. They head back in with Aries pounding away and glaring over at Taya. That earns him a rolling slap to the face but Aries knocks him down again and lays on the top rope. Some hard knees in the corner look to set up the Flying Chuck, only to have Aries knock him out to the floor. A springboard corkscrew crossbody gives Impact two but Aries is right back up with a Last Chancery attempt.

That doesn’t work either so Impact hits the Flying Chuck for two more. Impact takes him up top but gets shoved down, setting up a middle rope hurricanrana. The neckbreaker over the middle rope connects but Aries takes way too long going up (out of character for him) and gets caught in a super Spanish Fly.

The Countdown to Impact misses (Does it ever hit?) so they fight to the apron with Aries hitting a Death Valley Driver for a sick crash. Aries’ 450 gets two so it’s time to yell at the ref. A superkick sets up Starship Pain for two as Aries has to grab the rope. The roaring elbow sets up the corner dropkick and the brainbuster to knock Impact silly but he’s still fine enough to get a boot on the ropes.

Taya celebrates so Aries yells at her, allowing Impact to grab a backslide for two. The Last Chancery is broken up and they slug it out until Aries hits a suicide dive to send Taya into the barricade. That’s too far and Impact kicks Aries in the head (with the camera on Moose laughing) and gives him a brainbuster of his own. Starship Pain is good for the pin and the title at 21:00.

Rating: B. The ending was the right call and they beat the heck out of each other, making this a rather strong main event. Now the problem here is the Taya stuff, which while making it feel personal, came off as forced. It was like they didn’t have enough in the story to make it work so they wedged that in there at the last second, almost like Aries’ heel turn against Jeff Hardy in 2012. It worked for the match, but it would have been better as part of the build over a few weeks, not a few days.

Aries is on his feet before Impact and flips off the crowd as he leaves. Hopefully that’s just him being a jerk and not some bad angle about the office going with the wrong guy. Impact helps Taya up and celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Best Bound For Glory in a few years, though that’s really not a high bar to clear. I know it’s their biggest show of the year, but I don’t remember the last time that Slammiversary didn’t beat it. This show was definitely more good than bad and was worth seeing, though it needed a few more tweaks. One of Impact’s biggest issues has always been creating the big moment on the big stage and this show again failed to deliver in that area. The title change just felt like a thing that happened rather than a changing of the guard and that’s been the case for a long time now.

I liked the show well enough and the wrestling was good, but it still just wasn’t anything great. There was no big blow away match or moment and stuff like Ellsworth and Dreamer made me roll my eyes hard. It felt like a show that needed someone to stop them and say “no, we’re not doing that” when their ideas got a little too far out of hand. That being said, I’ll take a show like this over some of their wretched efforts by a mile.

Results

Willie Mack/Rich Swann b. Ethan Page/Matt Sydal – Phoenix splash to Sydal

Eli Drake b. James Ellsworth – Gravy Train

Tessa Blanchard b. Taya Valkyrie – Magnum

Eddie Edwards b. Moose via DQ when Killer Kross interfered

Tommy Dreamer/Eddie Edwards b. Moose/Killer Kross – Rollup to Moose

OVE b. Brian Cage/Lucha Bros – Cactus Piledriver to Cage

LAX b. OGz – Street Sweeper to Homicide

Johnny Impact b. Austin Aries – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – October 4, 2018: The Impact They Needed

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 4, 2018
Location: Fronton Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

We’re less than two weeks away from Bound For Glory and things are already starting to clear up. The big matches don’t have the best build and you could argue that the (presumably non-title) match between LAX and the OGz is the biggest thing on the card. That’s not a bad thing, but it makes for a kind of odd build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap focuses on the upcoming Bound For Glory matches, many of which were adjusted or made last week.

Opening sequence.

Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal

This feud has done a grand total of nothing for me so hopefully the match is actually good. Swann isn’t interested in a handshake, much like the referee isn’t interested in an opening bell. Sydal gets kicked to the floor for a flip dive off the apron, followed by a headscissors back inside. A kick to the face puts Sydal down again but he’s right back up with a leg lariat to send Swann outside.

Back in and Swann kicks him in the ribs and then the face for two. Sydal’s top rope hurricanrana doesn’t work as Swann lands on his feet, then uses one of said feet to superkick Sydal into the corner. Another hurricanrana attempt is countered into a jumping powerbomb (cool) for two but Swann is fine enough to hit a spinning kick to the head. Swann heads up top but some unnamed guy comes in to powerbomb him down (which the referee somehow doesn’t see), setting up Swann’s snap Angle Slam for the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C. Well that wasn’t too bad. Sydal is so much better once the bell rings but egads this “open your third eye” nonsense isn’t interesting, hasn’t been interesting and isn’t going to be interesting. I have no idea what they see in that gimmick but it’s been old and that’s not changing anytime soon.

Post match Josh Matthews identifies the fan as Ethan Page, who used to be Chandler Park for like a month earlier this year.

Dave Crist is freaking out over what Pentagon and Fenix did to him last week. Sami Callihan tells him to snap out of it and face them in the ring like men.

Moose calls Eddie Edwards and tells him to meet him for a fight at a bar. He also may have kidnapped Alisha.

Here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to do commentary for the start of her talent search. Callis is of course drooling over her, as is his custom.

Eli Drake vs. ???

Open challenge time as I try to imagine the levels of awesome that Drake and Scarlett would be. Before the match, Drake tells a technico to come out here with their fancy planchas, but he’ll take a rudo as well. The challenge is answered by…..La Parka, who isn’t the same guy from WCW but is still a big star in his own right. La Parka yells in Spanish before the fight is on with the masked man taking over. The shaking knee dance takes too much time though and Drake hits his jumping neckbreaker. Drake goes for a chair but gets caught with a reverse DDT, only to run away from the chair for the countout at 2:37.

LAX and the OGz get in their weekly argument. The OGz even steal their alcohol and throw it at Konnan, who still won’t break the ceasefire.

Sydal introduces Page, who praises Sydal’s vision. I liked Page so having him back is a good thing, though not with Sydal. They issue a challenge for a tag match at Bound For Glory against Swann and whoever he can find.

Joe Hendry vs. Murder Clown

Before the match, Hendry and Grado debut a new music video of “Katarina” and “Murder Clown” on a date, complete with lyrics of Clown wanting romance and violence. A sample: “I may not be a pirate and we may not be related, but baby I’m a murderous clown and that cannot be understated.” Clown clotheslines him down to start and ties Hendry in the Tree of Woe for a charge. Hendry manages the fall away slam but gets kicked away without much effort. A top rope splash finishes Hendry at 2:50. Hendry’s fall away slam felt really out of place in what was otherwise a squash.

Post match Katarina hits Grado low and Hendry gets splashed through a table.

Edwards goes to the bar to find Moose and Alisha. Moose tells him to sit down and recaps their feud over the last few weeks. Edwards says Austin Aries and Killer Kross aren’t Moose’s friends but Moose isn’t having that. A lot of yelling ensues until Alisha breaks a glass over Moose’s head. Eddie charges and turns the table over but Kross comes in to grab him. Edwards fights them both off and escapes with Alisha before calling Johnny Impact, telling him to go after Aries now. This was the most coherent Edwards has been in months and he sounded like his old self.

Post break, Impact kicks in the door to Aries’ locker room but the champ is nowhere in sight. Aries is nowhere to be seen backstage either so Impact heads to the ring. Impact wants Aries out here right now so here he comes, with a sling around his arm. Aries claims an arm injury, a back injury, a twisted ankle and a concussion after Impact hit him with the title last week (that’s some high quality whining).

This is about the title though, and that’s why Impact isn’t fighting him right now. It’s about being the best instead of how many goons you can recruit. Aries is so confident that he’s willing to leave Moose and Kross in the back so that it can be one on one. Aries knows he’s the best in the world, but who is Johnny this week? Mundo? Impact? Boone? Survivor? Impact doesn’t know which basket to put his eggs in while Aries has put his eggs in the basket of being the best in the world.

Sure, Impact looks great but he’s just a pretend top star. Aries may not look like he does but he knows that he’s great in the ring. At Bound For Glory, Impact can co-star in Aries’ starring role when he brings his black trunks and black boots. After the match, Johnny can take the name Johnny 205, because it’s the last job he can get. Maybe he can just join Aries as the latest goon.

Impact would rather be stretchered out than follow an idiot like Aries so the beatdown is on. Aries misses a belt shot though and eats a superkick, followed by Starship Pain. Really strong promo here as they make this personal after weeks of having no tension between these two. That’s exactly what this match needed.

Cage is ready to destroy OVE.

The Desi Hit Squad isn’t happy about losing last week and thinks they’re not being aggressive enough. Gama Singh comes in to yell at them again before saying they’re fighting next week to see who the weak link is.

Classic Moment of the Week: Hulk Hogan turns face to save Sting from Immortal at Bound For Glory.

Scarlett, in a different outfit than earlier, turns down various people trying to be her client, including Petey Williams and Trevor Lee. Petey even offers to teach her the Canadian Destroyer, much to Lee’s disgust.

Pentagon and Fenix are down for a fight with OVE tonight.

Kiera Hogan vs. Su Yung

Allie and the Undead Maid of Honor are both here. Kiera goes right at her to start (a common thing around here) and runs Su over in the corner for an early two. An electric chair faceplant out of the corner gives Yung the same thing and some palm strikes keep Kiera in trouble. That’s fine with Kiera, who slugs away some more and hits a low superkick to put Yung on the floor for a suicide dive. The Panic Switch is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Yung and Kiera heads up. That means a fight between the seconds and the distraction lets Yung hit the Panic Switch for the win at 4:17.

Rating: D. Yung’s time in Impact continues to astound me as she was pushed as the next big thing for a bit and now this win feels like a surprise just a few months later. Hogan isn’t much but they’re pushing her as an upstart rookie so having her lose here doesn’t make the most sense. Not a very good match either.

Post match the bridesmaids bring out the casket but Allie makes the save. That earns her a Mandible Claw until Kiera makes the second save, only to get slammed into the coffin as well.

Post break, Allie has a panic attack.

Video on Tessa Blanchard vs. Taya Valkyrie.

OVE vs. Lucha Bros/Brian Cage

Bound For Glory preview. Sami gets triple teamed to start and Fenix gets two off a Swanton. We settle down into a regular match with OVE breaking up Fenix’s springboard, albeit after he bounced about four times. It’s too early for the All Seeing Eye though as Fenix sends them into each other, allowing the tag to Cage. House is cleaned, including Cage putting Jake on Dave’s shoulders and German suplexing both of them at the same time. That’s enough for Sami, who shoves the referee for the DQ at 3:39.

Rating: C-. Cage’s power and Fenix’s agility alone are worth seeing here and I can’t complain about a three and a half minute preview for the big match at the pay per view. This was much more of an angle instead of a match that mattered and there’s nothing wrong with that ten days before Bound For Glory.

Post match the fight stays on with the brawling continuing. Cage climbs to the second ropes and deadlift superplexes Jake onto everyone, followed by Fenix hitting a corkscrew plancha off the barricade to take everyone down again. The fighting continues to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The best thing here was they had the big angle that helped push the pay per view main event. Other than that, the show was mainly focused on setting up Bound For Glory’s already announced matches and that’s not the worst thing in the world. The show feels like it’s going to have a lot of stuff added at the end and that’s all well and good, though it’s not the most thrilling thing in the world. Nice enough show here, with Aries vs. Impact carrying things.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Rich Swann – Snap Angle Slam

La Parka b. Eli Drake via countout

Murder Clown b. Joe Hendry – Top rope splash

Su Yung b. Kiera Hogan – Panic Switch

Brian Cage/Pentagon/Fenix b. OVE via DQ when Callihan shoved the referee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6