Again, we might as well just name this after one of the Divas.
The problem with this award is how do you define bad. What makes a match worse than another? I mean, if a match lasts a minute and is horrible, is that worse than a match that lasts ten minutes but is just a hair higher quality? Is a match worse if it bombs on a big stage than if it’s a nothing match on some random TV show? For me, the lengths plays a role. I’d much rather sit through an atrocious four minute match than some 14:34 disaster that exists to promote a reality show.
In case you find that very specific, I think you can tell where I’m going. For me, this belongs to the Divas elimination match at Survivor Series 2014. This match went on FOREVER and featured more botches than a Sin Cara highlight reel. It’s clear that most of these girls could barely survive on a taped show so the solution was to throw them out there in front of the world? I know they need ring time, but make sure they know what they’re doing before they’re on the freaking Survivor Series.
To keep this from being short, here are a few other common answers that I didn’t select for one reason or another.
A popular pick is Undertaker vs. Lesnar, but I can’t call a match with that kind of historical significance that elicited that powerful of a reaction (more on that later) the Worst Match of the Year. Yeah it was horrible with Brock’s head not even coming close to the mat on the Tombstone, but I can forgive a lot of that with the Undertaker being injured early in the match.
Brock vs. Cena was much more of an angle than a match. Yeah it was a squash, but tell me you weren’t freaking out watching that. That made Lesnar look stronger than ever and blew my mind as I was watching it. I actually shouted NO WAY at my screen when he hit the F5 30 seconds in. It may have been dull, but it certainly got a response.
The last match I keep seeing was Orton vs. Cena at the Royal Rumble, which is much more bizarre than bad. It’s no masterpiece but it’s far from horrible. They know each other incredibly well and the fans really calm down after the first two or three minutes. It was much more an example of the fans rejecting something rather than it actually being bad. They even threw something new out there with the stealing finishers. It’s something I NEVER want to see again, but it’s certainly not the worst.
That Divas tag though is just a disaster. Cameron is somehow getting worse in the ring and dragging down the talented girls. Can’t we just have Naomi being the female Shelton Benjamin and Paige doing all her awesome stuff while Natalya and Alicia are in the background being passable? No, instead we have to watch the girls botch everything and then talk about how hard they work to get here and gain respect or whatever the latest Diva creed that Stephanie has come up with is.
2014 Awards: Rookie of the Year
This one doesn’t have as many options. For the sake of making this a bit more interesting, I’ll be including anyone who has debuted on a roster this year or very late last year.
We’ll start with Ethan Carter III, who has gone from a comedy guy to perhaps the most entertaining thing in TNA. He just gets how to be a heel and that’s exactly what he’s supposed to be. I could easily see him being World Champion soon and it would be a great fit.
However, this really is a two person race.
First up is Paige, who went from the best NXT Diva on the roster to debuting after Wrestlemania and taking the title from AJ (which I called perfectly for a change) kicking off a pretty awesome feud between the two of them.
But then there’s Rusev and is there really any other answer for this? The guy debuted eight months ago (in singles matches at least) and he’s already main eventing pay per views and the US Champion. When your first Wrestlemania match might be against John Cena, it’s fairly obvious that you’re flying up the card in a hurry. The fact that he’s starting to get over instead of just Lana is a great sign for him as well. There really isn’t anyone else that can challenge Rusev this year.
2014 Awards: Feud Of The Year
These were supposed to start on Sunday but as anyone who frequents my site knows, I can’t keep track of anything to save my life. I’ll be catching up with four awards today and then do one a day every day until the end of the year. We’ll start with one of the more popular ones with Feud of the Year.This year isn’t one of the stronger set of choices as there were some good feuds but nothing that felt really epic. One of the first options that comes to mind is Ambrose vs. Rollins, who had some AMAZING promos and good but not great brawls. The ending here hurts it as it was more about Wyatt being introduced for no apparent reason than the feud itself. This can be done perfectly (see 1997 with Undertaker vs. Kane), but Wyatt came out of nowhere and the match was nowhere near HBK vs. Undertaker in the Cell. This is probably the clubhouse leader but not by much.
Shield vs. Evolution was good and the matches were excellent but I’m not sure I’d call it the best of the year. It felt more like a way to turn Rollins heel and end the Shield than to have a big moment, which is fine but a bit anti-climactic. That’s kind of a running problem this year and something we’ll see again.
The same is true for the Wyatts vs. Shield. THey had what might be the Match of the Year at Elimination Chamber but the feud just kind of stopped instead of having a big conclusion. I’d put Shield vs. Evolution ahead of this as it actually had a conclusion, albeit not a great one.
AJ Lee vs. Paige deserves some appreciation due to making the Divas Title actually matter, but it went on so long that it really stopped meaning anything to me after awhile.
TNA actually makes the list with the Wolves vs. Hardys vs. Team 3D and their outstanding series, but I’m not sure it was so much a feud as much as a rivalry. There was never a personal issue between the teams and that hurts it to me. That being said, there’s a case that they had the best series of matches all year, including Shield.
That really leaves us with one option, which while short met every issue that I listed here. Of course it’s Bryan vs. the Authority, which was a rollercoaster of emotion with the fans screaming for what they wanted until it FINALLY delivered in one of the best one night performances you’ll ever see at Wrestlemania XXX. They set the stage and gave us the payoff with some great matches. What else can you really ask for in a feud? Yeah it was short in this year, but it ran about eight months from beginning to end. The moment Bryan made Batista tap was worth everything and the energy in the Super Dome that night was amazing.
Monday Night Raw – October 21, 2014: Cheap Pop!
Monday Night Raw Date: October 20, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for the Cell and we have our double main event all set with Rollins vs. Ambrose in what should be the main event and the first ever rematch inside the Cell with Orton vs. Cena. Other than that there’s some well built but not very interesting stuff, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to hold up on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s events setting up the pay per view.
The Cell is lowered to open the show and here’s the Authority minus Stephanie. With the Cell hanging above the ring, HHH welcomes us to the show and promises us a special episode tonight. For our main event, we’re seeing Kane/Orton/Rollins vs. Ambrose/Cena in a handicap street fight. Well at least there’s a twist now. HHH goes into the traditional speech about how the Cell changes you, even though the violence being toned down makes those lines sound so stupid.
Rollins takes the mic and talks about how much he likes the Mr. Money in the Bank moniker, but a YOU SOLD OUT chant cuts him off. He emphasizes that he’ll be beating Ambrose in the main event on Sunday, but Orton says the real main event will have people involved longer than a cup of coffee.
Orton promises to end the rivalry once and for all (didn’t he already do that?), but HHH cuts him off as well, saying that it’s a double main event. We’re going to one up the Orton vs. Cena match because the winner is getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Orton gets some cheap heat on the Kansas City Royals and we get Kane’s corner pyro to end the speeches.
We recap Mizdown imitating Sheamus on Main Event and getting a Brogue Kick for his efforts.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Miz/Goldust/Stardust
Why do I bother watching Smackdown again? Miz vs. Sheamus for the title is official for Sunday. Miz swaps out for Mizdow to start so at least it’s something different.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust
Miz jumps in on commentary as the Usos start in on Stardust. Jimmy nails a hard kick to the face for two and it’s already off to Goldust. The heels take over on Jimmy in the corner and get him down to the mat with Stardust kicking him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Goldust slamming Jimmy down for two. Mizdow comes in and tries the running corner clothesline but runs into a boot to the face.
Stardust still won’t let the hot tag and we look at Miz several times. Jimmy scores with a kick to the head and the double tag brings in Sheamus and Mizdow. The champ cleans house but Mizdow snaps his throat across the top to break up the ten forearms. Sheamus powerslams Mizdow but walks into the same from Goldust as everything breaks down. The Usos dive on Goldust, only to have Stardust dive on all of them. Sheamus throws Mizdow onto the pile and Brogue Kicks Stardust, allowing Mizdow to roll him up for the pin (with trunks) at 9:40. Miz: “I WON!”
Rating: D+. Well at least it was something different. The match wasn’t any good though and it’s mainly because we’ve seen this same idea so many times. It drives me crazy that the only way to get to a title match is the same combination over and over again in multi-man matches. Have the Usos or the Dusts fight other teams and do a run-in or something. There are so many ways to get to a match but it’s just the same stuff over and over again. It’s rather tiring. Also: you couldn’t have an Uso take this pin? It just had to be the US Champion?
Orton comes in and thanks HHH for the chance to face Lesnar so he can headline Wrestlemania again. HHH likes the idea but says Seth came up with making Orton vs. Cena for a title shot. Orton is confused but says he’ll go thank Rollins.
Long Wyatt video talking about the Family being free and then Bray saying he’ll never be free but She told him he’ll never be alone. It’s coming.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title but AJ is defending against Paige on Sunday. Again. That will be their fifth singles match since the day after Wrestlemania. To put this in context, Lita and Trish fought each other twelve times in over six years. Fox runs her over to start but walks into a sunset flip for two. A big boot puts AJ down for two and the perfect northern lights suplex gets the same.
Fox plants her with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two more but she spends too much time posing, allowing AJ to start her comeback. AJ is now the One Girl Revolution because even she has to have a slogan. Alicia gets knocked to the floor….and rammed into the barricade by Paige. The champ yells at Paige, allowing Fox to roll her up for the pin at 4:16, because all titles other than the WWE Title mean absolutely nothing.
Rating: D. This match just made me mad. Let’s see: another champion loses via rollup, we’re setting up the fifth match between Paige and AJ in six months, Paige’s “mind games” stopped being interesting months ago, and Alicia’s win probably won’t take her anywhere. What good came from this match?
Orton comes in to see Rollins and Seth says don’t worry about what he did, but Randy is still confused. Apparently it was just being a team player, but Orton tells him to mind his ownbusiness. Rollins talks about how Orton can beat Cena, win the title and then the future just takes care of itself. Did I mention he’s holding the briefcase?
Here’s Orton to the ring for a chat. He talks about being in the Cell (which has been hanging over the ring all night for a nice visual) with Cena before and how they’ve been rivals for twelve years now. Cena was the punk kid from Boston but Orton was third generation wrestling royalty. The fans cheer for Orton so he goes after the Royals again for an easy save. I know people are going to say it’s cheap heat (even I did earlier), but that was a smart move as the fans are always going to boo someone going after their hometown team and it got them off the Orton train for a bit.
Orton talks about the great rivals of the years, such as Piper vs. Hogan, Hart vs. Michaels, Rock vs. Austin and now Orton vs. Cena. He beats John at the Rumble earlier this year and now he’s going to do it again. Orton has never cared about hustle, loyalty and respect and he’ll never fight for what is good.
This brings out Cena to tell Orton to shut up and call Orton a gifted moron. He rips on Orton for talking about the old times and sucks up to Kansas City (again, smart) as we start a baseball discussion. Being in the World Series and winning are two different things, just like Orton being in the match on Sunday. Cena wants to fight the Beast and he’ll see him on Orton’s face this Sunday.
Cue Heyman to call this rewritten history laughable. The class of 2002 featured Randy Orton, John Cena, and the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar. Brock won the title from the Rock at Summerslam 2002 and is still champion in 2014. Heyman looks up at the Cell and says these two will have the chance to define their legacies (what does that even mean anymore?), but his client has no equal.
The winner of the match on Sunday is the ultimate loser, because he has to face a beast. Heyman has always respected Orton and he may want the title back, but he wants no part of Lesnar. Cena on the other hand wants both the title and the Beast, which makes him a crazy man. John loads Heyman up for the AA but puts him down and takes the RKO. Heyman is pleased but takes the RKO as well to a mixed reaction.
We recap Rusev vs. Big Show from last week, resulting in Henry and Big Show surrounding the Russian for the KO Punch.
Rusev vs. Big E.
Remember when this was a big deal? They do the power lockup to start until Rusev takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. E. comes back with the Vader body attack to send Rusev to the floor, followed by the barricade. Back in and Rusev puts on a front facelock but Big E. powers up. We get an awkward looking sequence where Big E. didn’t seem to be in the right place, capped off by a spinwheel kick to send us to a commercial. Back with E. charging into the kick to the face and the Accolade for the submission at 7:49. The part after the break was about 30 seconds long.
Rating: D. Total squash here to make me sad because I like Big E. He’s the latest victim of the writers and Vince playing with a toy for a few months and then throwing him away for the latest thing. That being said, he can do a good job of making guys like Rusev look good. Nothing to see here other than Lana of course.
Lana calls Big Show a circus freak and loads up the Russian flag but it doesn’t come down. Show pops up on screen and the American flag comes down instead. Rusev goes to pull it down but a “fan” wearing military gear comes in and gets kicked in the face.
Post break Big Show is in the ring with the flag still hanging and an angry look on his face. He finally says you never disrespect an American soldier. Rusev has his attention now because Big Show is an American giant and on Sunday, his fifteen minutes are up. He doesn’t want to wait for Sunday though so Rusev can come out here right now. The Russians don’t come so Show goes to find them. Good promo here that didn’t get overly hammy.
Show goes to the back and asks a backstage worker where Rusev’s room is. Apparently it’s the door marked Rusev so Show kicks it in and finds a suit jacket and bags. Nothing to see here, literally.
Ambrose is eating popcorn and watching a movie when Cena comes in. John wants to know what’s going on. “Just watching See No Evil 2 starring Kane.” They’re going to be a team tonight even though they don’t like each other. Ambrose compares it to Batman and Superman because Cena has a great American jaw. Now Dean may be undefeated in contract on a pole matches, but handicap street fights are his specialty. He’s going to hit everything he can and take down as many as he can. Cena is cool with that but thinks Ambrose is more Joker than Batman. Dean: “Why so serious?”
Stephanie has won some award about Dwight Eisenhower.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
We’re getting serious here: pale pink vs. hot pink. Brie sends her into the corner to start as Nikki is watching in the back. Summer gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Bella finally breaks it up with an armdrag after wasting a minute of our time. We get the basic face comeback and BRIE MODE! Summer avoids a middle rope dropkick, gets caught in a second attempt and the Bella Buster is good for the pin at 3:42, meaning we get to hear the most obnoxious song opening in years.
Rating: F. A minute long chinlock in a four minute match. The Divas are just a disaster at this point with Paige vs. AJ having a ridiculously overhyped feud (it started good and now it’s just the same stuff for months on end) and Brie Bella as the only thing resembling a face in the division. How bad can this actu…..I’m not finishing that question because it can somehow get worse.
Here’s Ambrose with a big bag over his shoulders. He sets a chair in the ring and looks up at the Cell, saying he’s been dreaming about getting his hands on Rollins. This Sunday he gets the half hair dyed Power Rangers suit wearing sellout inside the Cell. Dean goes to the bag and pulls out….a Seth Rollins mannequin. He sits it in the chair and says that Rollins never liked getting his hands dirty, so the first thing he’ll do in the Cell is rip off Seth’s arms. That’s exactly what he does to the mannequin before screwing it over just like Seth did to him, although Dean uses a screwdriver.
Then he hammers (using a hammer as you should be getting the idea by now) the point home and talks about what he saw (hand saw in this case) in a dream last night: him cutting Seth’s testicles off inside the Cell. “Oh wait. You already sold those to the Authority.” He tongs Seth’s crotch (“You don’t need to have kids anyway.”) and DDTs it for good measure.
This brings out Seth and the new Stooges for a rebuttal. Seth calls the dummy an opponent that Dean can connect with on an intellectual level. Dean can never beat Ambrose, but maybe he can have a comedy career opening for Gallagher. Dean says let’s give Seth a hand (which is exactly what he does) but Rollins stops to address the YOU SOLD OUT chants. He’s a midwestern guy just like them but that’s where the similarities end. None of the losers here will ever know what it’s like to be Seth Rollins. Yeah he sold out the Shield but so what.
Dean busts out a power drill and wants to fight right now. Seth seems interested….and here’s Mick Foley. He’s here to visit an old friend and congratulate both guys on their success. His kids raved about seeing the Shield in action and he had to see them raise the bar. Foley isn’t around much but he always watches Raw and Smackdown. He even subscribes to the WWE Network for an undisclosed monthly amount. Foley has pictured the match on Sunday and sees almost no way Ambrose can win.
Seth insults Foley’s Santa Claus beard but Foley says he said Ambrose doesn’t win in most ordinary scenarios. However, that Cell isn’t an ordinary scenario. Yeah he’s wearing a Santa Claus shirt and he has for 300 consecutive days now. It’s one of the few things that he hasn’t had ripped away from him and he still can hold it in his heart. The scars from the Cell are the ones inside you and he’s lost so much because of it. He invites Rollins to look at his missing tooth and the fans offer Foley their thanks.
Dean says no one gets him but Mick Foley might come close. Ambrose is ready for the Cell but he doesn’t think Rollins is quite there. Seth says both guys are out of their minds but winning has nothing to do with being crazy. He knows Ambrose better than everyone and Dean is out of his mind. He’ll win on Sunday because he’s just better than Dean could ever hope to be.
Foley quotes Nietzsche by saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. “With all due respect though, Frederick Nietzsche was never thrown off a Cell!” Foley doesn’t think either guy is ready for life after the Cell, but just like everyone here in Kansas City, they’re getting what they’ve wanted all their lives. Have a nice day. Rollins bails and gets hit with a mannequin. Good and long segment here with Ambrose being just different enough to keep things from getting boring.
Cesaro says he’ll be a better Intercontinental Champion than Ziggler could ever be. “Cesaro out.” I kind of like that one.
Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title here before the title match on Sunday. Cesaro easily takes him down to start and gets two off a shoulder. We hit the chinlock as Cole talks about these two fighting on Twitter. JBL: “Back in my day we fought over beer and chicks.” Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. A big uppercut drops Dolph and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro countering a sunset flip into a gorilla press gutbuster for two. A middle rope ax handle and splash (from the middle of the ropes instead of the corner) get two more and we hit the chinlock. Dolph makes his comeback and counters a tiger bomb into a faceplant for two. Back up and Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and the pin at 9:28.
Rating: D+. Three matches, three champions get pinned. That would be Dolph’s fourth straight pinfall loss and I’d bet he wins on Sunday to make it all better because we’re just supposed to forget these losses. One thing I really liked here: Cole identified both guys for people who might be first time watchers. All he had to say was “Ziggler with the blond hair on your right, Cesaro on your left.” It took three seconds and might have cleared up some unsure viewers. I love little things like that.
Cesaro Neutralizes him post match for good measure.
The Authority is arguing in the back until HHH comes in to yell at them. Kane is officially the captain for the street fight so he takes over the yelling at his partners.
MizdowTV is the pre-show special this month. Remember when it was a wrestling match?
Hell in a Cell by the numbers:
20 feet high
5 tons
½ mile of steel
10/5/1997 – The first match
6 men in one match in 2000
6 victories by Undertaker and HHH
6 times Orton has been in the Cell
47:26 is the longest Cell match (HHH vs. HBK at Bad Blood 2003)
11 men who have won in the Cell
12 times Undertaker has been in the Cell
78,363 people who watched at Wrestlemania XXVIII
29 men who have entered
18 who have only done it once
2 matches this year
Same Wyatt video from earlier.
Dean Ambrose/John Cena vs. Authority
Handicap street fight. Cena has the serious black shorts on tonight. Huge brawl to start and we get the required “let’s follow the rules before realizing there are no rules” period. Dean stomps on Seth’s ribs and pulls at his hair before knocking Kane to the floor. They head outside and fight at the table with Cena cleaning house. Dean dives on the pile and makes things interesting with a chair. A few shots to the back put Seth down and it’s already table time. Everything breaks down on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Dean in a chinlock before Randy draped him across the top rope. It’s already back to Rollins as things settle down and get very unstreet fightish. Orton teases Dean by letting him crawl halfway across the ring before starting the Garvin Stomp. Dean fights back with right hands and a missile dropkick to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Cena and Kane takes the AA.
Here’s another table since the first one disappeared during the break. Rollins escapes the AA through the table and sends Cena head first into a chair in the corner. Kane and Orton send Dean into the steps as this is finally feeling like a street fight. Now the table is set up in the corner but Seth opts for a standing Sliced Bread #2 on Cena for two. Back to the floor with Cena going into the steps and then the post. Kane takes him back inside and sends him through the table in the corner.
The Cell comes down and Dean dives under just in time. The hot tag brings in Dean to dive on all three again. A dropkick puts Rollins into the cage and the Rebound Clothesline drops Orton. Dean finds a kendo stick to wear out Orton before throwing in another chair. A Cactus Jack elbow with the chair nails Orton again but Dean has to hit Kane with the chair. Orton and Rollins are sent to the floor and Randy looks frustrated. The suicide dive nails Rollins and everyone heads back inside for finishers, with Orton RKOing Dean for the pin at 18:28.
Rating: D+. The action was decCent but there was zero need for this to be a street fight. I kept waiting for the violence to kick in but it was almost all about the Cell being brought down at the end. This is a constant thing WWE does and it never stops getting on my nerves: if you want to have a handicap tag then have a handicap tag. I’m ok with Ambrose getting pinned as it wasn’t a fair match and at least it wasn’t by Kane. Side note: Cena has the worst attention span in wrestling history. He forgot Lesnar like a day after getting screwed out of the title win and now has forgotten Rollins after losing a single match.
Rollins Curb Stomps Orton for a surprise before posing on the Cell to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show was all over the place. Above all, they had most of the midcard champions lose and not much new added for Sunday. The one thing they did add though can tie us back to the World Title scene, which hasn’t gotten a lot of attention yet. I like that they’re having the Orton vs. Cena match mean something because it’s almost impossible to care about it again.
The match will likely be ok but dear goodness I don’t want to see it. There’s a lot of stuff going on and thankfully they’re starting to tie it together. Rollins vs. Ambrose better main event the show though as Orton and Cena just do not need the spot. Bad show but at least it was trying.
Results
Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust b. Usos/Sheamus – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Sheamus
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee – Rollup
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Brie Bella b. Summer Rae – Bella Buster
Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler – Swiss Death
Authority b. John Cena/Dean Ambrose – RKO to Ambrose
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – October 8, 2014: Dean Ambrose Talks About A Bunny
Smackdown Date: October 3, 2014
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Todd Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield
The Ambrose/Cena vs. Authority feud is picking up steam and that’s a good thing so far. It looks like they’re also setting up Ambrose vs. Cena which should be a solid match if they don’t have Cena beat him and call it a rub. Hopefully they keep up the trend of not having a ton of recaps tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Ambrose giving away shirts and sliming Rollins.
Here’s a fired up Cena with something to say. He talks about how different people refer to Milwaukee in different ways but Cena sees it as the place that is ready for Smackdown. This brings him to Ambrose who wants to beat up Rollins just like he does. He talks about the loss at Summerslam and having the worst beating of his life. Everyone from Michael Cole to his family wanted him to hang it up but he had to fight Lesnar one more time.
He got that chance at Night of Champions but Seth Rollins had to take his chance to become the future of the WWE. Well if that’s what Seth wants, he can do it tonight right here in the ring. Cena doesn’t want the briefcase or the contract as long as he can get his hands on Rollins tonight. Instead he gets Ambrose, who says he has his own issues with the Authority and Seth Rollins, but he’s going to work those out by making Rollins pay. Cena says he doesn’t want to do this with Ambrose and Dean says that’s right.
However, Cena got in his way on Monday and that’s not cool. Cena brings up Night of Champions again but Ambrose says that was one night while he almost lost his entire career. John says there’s no reason for them to keep going after each other when they both want the same things. He offers a truce and says whoever gets to Rollins first gets to him first.
Dean isn’t sure about shaking hands when the Authority pops up on screen. Orton talks about how the two of them deserve each other and brings up what Ambrose used to say about Cena when he was in the Shield. Apparently Cena is full of himself and can’t wrestle his way out of a box of cereal. Cena on the other hand said Ambrose is only getting over by pretending to be crazy. Kane thinks it doesn’t matter though because it’s going to be Cena and Ambrose vs. Orton and himself tonight. So glad I watched that Raw main event this week.
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
Sheamus takes Miz into the corner to start but misses a big right hand. Cole keeps talking about Mizdow vs. Sheamus from last night as Sheamus slams Damien for two. Sheamus sends him out to the apron and takes out Miz before hitting a few forearms to the stunt double. That’s fine with Sheamus as he dives off the top with a double clothesline.
We take a break and come back with Miz hitting a Reality Check for two on Sheamus before tagging Mizdow. Damien stomps away for two of his own and it’s very quickly back to Miz. Sheamus plows him down with a clothesline and makes the hot tag to Ziggler to clean house. The running DDT gets two on Mizdown and a dropkick gets the same. Sheamus and Miz fight on the floor until Miz nails him in the ribs with a chair. Not that it matters as the Zig Zag is good for the pin on Damien at 8:28.
Rating: D. This really didn’t do anything for me as it was the champions dominating for most of the match, shrugging off all of the heels’ offense and then beating Mizdow with ease. The problem with an act like Miz and Mizdow is there’s nothing to fear. Miz’s big move is the Figure Four which has won him one match in over a year and that was in NXT. Sandow….has he ever won anything with that full nelson slam? Why would two World Champions be afraid of that?
Sheamus swings the chair at Miz post match but has to lay out Sandow instead.
Luke Harper video from Raw.
Long recap of Henry/Big Show/Rusev including the Russian flag being ripped down. WWE already officially apologized because Heaven forbid anyone ever get even slightly offended by anything. They had to know this sort of reaction was coming. Either do the angle and don’t apologize or don’t do it at all. It makes WWE look like a five year old admitting to stealing cookies.
Paige vs. Naomi
Paige quickly takes her down into a chinlock before cranking on both arms at the same time. Back up and Naomi snaps off a headscissors to send Paige to the apron. Alicia Fox tries to help Paige to the floor but Naomi dives onto the new best friend. It goes badly for her though as Paige kicks Naomi in the head and hooks the PTO for the submission at 1:43.
Post match AJ hits the ring and beats up Fox as Paige bails to hide behind JBL. Putting his hat on doesn’t really work for her.
Here’s Big Show in a suit to address the flag deal on Raw. He talks about holding himself accountable for his actions and officially apologizes to the Russian people for what happened. The fans aren’t pleased but here are Rusev and Lana to interrupt. Lana says WWE and Big Show apologizing doesn’t appease them because they want a personal apology.
Big Show reiterates his apology to the Russian people but not to Lana and Rusev. We get more English from Rusev who accuses Big Show of wiping his nose on the flag. He nails Rusev with the flag and drops him with the jumping superkick. Show gets up and the Russians bail. This segment made me feel better about this as it feels like the apology was intended to be a plot point and not WWE cowering away from any criticism.
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil vs. Usos
Hornswoggle Gator is at ringside. Jey takes Slater into the corner to start but misses a charge and gets kicked in the face. Cue the Bunny to hop over Hornswoggle and send him face first into the post. The distraction lets the Usos hit stereo superkicks and a triple splash (the Bunny dives on Horny) is enough for the pin at 1:45. This is setting up Horny vs. the Bunny isn’t it?
WWE still hates breast cancer.
Ambrose talks about how he embarrassed Rollins on Monday and that’s a lot worse than a beating. He’ll go through everyone from Kane to Orton to the Gator to the Bunny to get his hands on Seth Rollins.
Cesaro vs. R-Truth
This is due to Cesaro making jokes about Ziggler earlier tonight and Truth calling him an unfunny nincompoop. Before the match Truth makes sure he has the town right and Cole thankfully explains the joke. That’s not sarcasm for once as that line wouldn’t might not have made sense to a lot of fans. Cesaro hammers Truth down with European uppercuts and a gutwrench suplex. Truth’s comeback goes as well as you would expect before the Neutralizer ends him at 2:12.
The Dusts are in the back and I believe this is the same vignette from Raw. The belts are the Cosmic Key and the rest is science fiction.
Bob Uecker is here.
Hulk Hogan hates breast cancer.
Kane/Randy Orton vs. John Cena/Dean Ambrose
Orton and Ambrose get things going with Dean quickly taking him down for a basement clothesline and two. Off to Kane vs. Cena for the power showdown and our resident hero takes over with right hands. Dean comes back in for the running dropkick against the ropes before clotheslining Orton down as well. An STF attempt from Cena doesn’t work but a belly to belly gets two on Randy. Ambrose dives on both Authority members and we take a break.
Back with Kane nailing a big boot for two on Ambrose and bringing Randy in again. Randy stomps away and sends Ambrose outside before whipping him into the steps. They head back inside and Dean nails a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down. Kane breaks up a hot tag and we hit the chinlock.
Dean quickly fights up by biting the hand before getting punched into the Rebound Clothesline. As he’s inches away from the hot tag, Rollins comes down the aisle and Cena drops down to go after him. Ambrose is left alone and gets caught in the Elevated DDT for two. Dirty Deeds is broken up and Kane kicks Dean’s head off. The double teaming is enough for a lame DQ at 13:13.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive is it going to kill the Authority to have Kane lose a fall? Just mixing up how they get disqualified isn’t enough to make things interesting. Ambrose and Cena fighting should get interesting, but I hope Dean doesn’t start yelling about Cena leaving him in a handicap match like Nikki Bella has been doing.
Ambrose gets beaten down even more until Cena finally makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This was one of the most worthless shows I can remember in a long time. There were five matches, three of which combined to be less than six minutes long. Other than that there was a segment to build up to Big Show losing another big match and the same main event we saw on Raw. This was a worthless two hours of TV with some dull matches wrapped around three matches that didn’t go long enough to rate. Nothing to see here.
Results
Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Zig Zag to Mizdow
Paige b. Naomi – PTO
Usos b. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil – Double Superfly Splash
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Orton and Kane double teamed Ambrose
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 29, 2014
At this point it’s pretty clear that Lesnar isn’t going to be defending the title at Hell in a Cell and at the end of the day, that’s probably the best thing they could do right now. Lesnar vs. Cena is a good feud but they need to give it a chance to breathe instead of just doing it over and over again to diminishing results. Instead we have Cena and Ambrose vs. the Authority which is a very nice option and far better than what we were sitting through at this point last year. Let’s get to it.
We opened with the Authority in the ring and Stephanie actually acknowledging the CM Punk chants in Chicago. They had to do something like that as the fans just want attention more than anything else. Heyman can out and had a chat with Rollins but not a lot was said. This felt like a way to distract the fans, because Heaven forbid we have a hot match to catch their attention because we need to have the twenty minute talking segment to open things up.
After all that was over, Rollins said he wanted the briefcase back because it has some personal items inside. Remember that as it’s going to be brought up later. Ambrose popped up on screen and said if Rollins wanted the briefcase, all he had to do was come and get it. This wasn’t the best opening segment in the world and it had the same problem most of them have: they spent twenty minutes to accomplish what could have been done in ten.
WWE doesn’t like breast cancer. This is the first of at least three times they would explain this.
HHH sent agents Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble to get the briefcase back. Those two as the new Patterson and Brisco is a fine idea. They wouldn’t find Ambrose until he came to the ring but apparently Jamie ate a hotdog at the concession stand. I can go with this going forward.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title in a fast paced triple threat along with Cesaro and Miz. This was a good match with everyone moving around and Ziggler superkicking Cesaro to steal a pin on Miz. They can keep up the idea that Cesaro hasn’t gotten pinned clean yet and has a rematch coming to him. It’s like they’re building an actual division with progressing stories. That’s a VERY welcome change and something that could help the product quite a bit.
We get a Wyatt Family video which said Harper was free. This sounds like a way to split up the team and I’d prefer it over a fight. Bray could use some freshening up anyway.
Layla beat Rosa Mendes while Tyson Kidd messed with his phone. This is your Total Divas match and the first of three Divas matches tonight.
The big segment of the show was Ambrose coming to the ring with a bag and the briefcase. He offered to give away all the shirts because he didn’t like the prices on them. After throwing them into the crowd, the agents came in and tried to get the case back. This gave Ambrose the great line of “they’re sending the cruiserweight division after me?” Security came out (“weren’t you Rosebuds last week?”) and Ambrose left the case. Rollins opened it up and got covered with green slime. The look on Dean’s face was outstanding and sold the whole thing.
I’ve heard people calling this the segment that made Ambrose a star but that’s going a bit too far. This was very entertaining for one reason above all others: it was different. Those fourth wall jokes were funny and it made Ambrose feel like an outsider instead of the same old comedy guys. I remember JR talking about how bad comedy in wrestling can be if it’s not natural. With Dean, it felt natural and not like the script said “comedy segment here”. It’s definitely good though and the showdown in the Cell is going to be great.
Bo Dallas interrupted Mark Henry’s latest apology and beat him in about a minute. Henry destroyed Dallas in the back after a break.
Goldust and Stardust confirmed the Tag Team Titles were the Cosmic Key. Nothing else to see here.
Nikki and Brie did their usual argument and Brie had to face Cameron and Eva Marie in a handicap match. Amazingly enough, a former Divas Champion was able to beat a girl with maybe an hour combined ring time and a girl who doesn’t know how to make a proper cover. Nikki whining about having to be in a handful of handicap matches is really wearing thin and isn’t going to sell a big match between the Bellas.
Time for COMEDY with Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil beating Los Matadores. There was a bull, a gator and a Bunny involved. I can live with the Bunny because it’s showing off but the rest of the stuff was stupid. Again though, to people calling this the worst segment ever, I’d point out that the match wasn’t even three minutes long.
Rusev and Lana came out to yell at Big Show. The giant came out and ripped down the Russian flag. Naturally WWE issued an official apology about this because HEAVEN FORBID anyone get offended over something that is going to be forgotten after about thirty seconds. I’m complaining about this apology offending me. Where’s my official apology from WWE? I’m offended by how pathetic it is that people get offended by everything anymore. I WANT AN APOLOGY AND OFFICIAL STATEMENT! I MIGHT TELL PEOPLE TO PROTEST THE SHOW AND THAT MEANS THE STOCKHOLDERS MIGHT GET TICKED OFF!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!
Yeah I think some political correctness is stupid. Why do you ask?
Cena and Ambrose had a brief staredown in the back and tension was teased. They both want to beat up Rollins though.
Alicia Fox is Paige’s new best friend and beat AJ Lee in a nothing match. It’s better than repeating the same matches over and over again.
Sheamus beat Damien Sandow in another nothing match that doesn’t seem to set up anything.
Hulk Hogan doesn’t like cancer.
Stephanie told Kane and Orton that she doesn’t care about their complaints. Tension is being teased here.
Cena and Ambrose beat Orton and Kane when Rollins interfered. There was nothing to the match and it was your standard main event tag. Rollins gave both heroes curb stomps onto the briefcase to end the show.
This show was the standard Raw Special: it would have been great if it only lasted two hours, but the extra hour drags it down. The cancer stuff is going to get old in a hurry and comes off like more of a publicity stunt than anything else. Thank goodness we have another month of WWE saying CANCER SUCKS because they might come off as pro-cancer otherwise.
The wrestling wasn’t anything special but as usual they have a lot of good stuff coming up in the future. The problem though is them screwing up all of the upcoming stuff instead of it actually paying off. Or if nothing else they might have to worry about offending someone and apologizing for logical storylines. Again, either step on some toes or be perfect schoolchildren that don’t offend anyone and listen to the complaints that come with it. Pick something and stick with it though. Not a great show this week but it had its moments.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
WWE has been nailing most of their pay per views this year but they had their work cut out for them with Night of Champions. It was a one match show and that match was a rematch. The fact that Roman Reigns is out of action for a few months due to hernia surgery makes things even shakier. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show feature was the Peep Show with Christian having Chris Jericho as his guest. This was about as pointless as I can remember as it was just the two of them making jokes about stuff from ten years ago and a brief exchange with Orton. To be fair though it’s better than a boring match that doesn’t get anywhere….I think.
The show itself opened with the Dusts taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. The match was fine but nothing all that memorable. These two teams have been looking very polished lately and this was another good match between them. Stardust pinned Jimmy after blocking the Superfly Splash for the titles, which is a fine ending for the seven month title reign.
Dolph and R-Ziggler did a spot for Mountain Dew.
Sheamus defending the US Title against Cesaro in a pretty awesome power brawl. There’s something cool about two monsters beating on each other for about thirteen minutes. Sheamus is at his best when he gets all fired up and starts hurting people. The same is true for Cesaro and it’s great to see two guys who can hit each other just as hard. I also liked the ending as it wasn’t a change of pace into a rollup or something but rather Sheamus hitting Cesaro with his big power move for the pin. You don’t get that enough anymore.
Big Show fired up Mark Henry before his match. That’s the end of Big Show’s involvement tonight.
Now we get to the bad part of the night: country band Florida Georgia Line jumped in on commentary for the Intercontinental Title match with Miz and Ziggler. The match itself wasn’t bad but I really do not need a band that has nothing to do with WWE other than appearing at Tribute to the Troops this year. They got involved by shoving Mizdow and that’s about it, other than the camera looking at them every few seconds. Miz won the title with a rollup and a handful of trunks but the wrestling took a long backseat to the low level celebrity nonsense.
We got a video on Reigns’ injury with some words from his doctor. Reigns will be out for several months, which might be the shakeup WWE has been needing.
Seth Rollins came out to brag about beating Reigns by forfeit before issuing an open challenge. Apparently Dean Ambrose was watching the show in a cab (which just happened to be sitting in the back) as he got out of said cab and charged to the ring to attack Rollins. This was the usual awesome brawl between these two until security got Ambrose down and handcuffed him. They’re doing a great job of only giving us a little bit of Ambrose vs. Rollins before they finally (and hopefully) lock them inside a Cell and let them just destroy each other.
Rusev basically squashed Mark Henry to make Jim Duggan cry somewhere. Henry was never really in control and wound up tapping out to the Accolade. Have Henry pass out or something but don’t have him tap out inside of five seconds.
Arguably the match of the night was Jericho vs. Orton which was a very nice surprise as I had no reason to care about this match coming in but they had me interested at the end. That’s a very hard thing to pull off but they managed to make it work. Orton caught Jericho coming off the top with an RKO for the pin. Odds are that sends Jericho back to the rock scene and there’s nothing wrong with that. These three month runs are as good as he’s going to get anymore and this worked fine. Jericho’s best match in this comeback too.
Brie Bella said she hopes Nikki doesn’t win because it will make her sister even worse. This would wind up being a plot point on Raw because this feud just has to keep going.
AJ won the title back, thankfully by making Nikki tap out. Paige vs. AJ is an interesting feud but they need to do something other than skip around and kiss the belt. Nikki continues to look great in her outfits and when she’s shaking her hips, but the Divas Title needs to either be the wrestling title or the stupid drama title. As long as they keep it off the Bellas and their stupid feud though, I’m good.
Cena beat Lesnar via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered and tried to cash in his briefcase. This sets up some future stuff with Rollins being placed into the main event scene and hopefully giving us a break from Cena vs. Lesnar. Their stuff has been good (including this match) but they’re reaching the point of overkill with it.
As for the match itself, Cena was far more competitive here and managed to avoid most of the suplexes. Lesnar managed to hit seven or eight but Cena got in enough offense to keep things competitive. He had Lesnar mostly beat when Rollins came in which is a solid idea and gives Cena a reason for a rematch later on. Something interesting about Lesnar: he’s viewed as this unstoppable monster but since his comeback in 2012, he’s only 6-4. That’s a great nod to his intimidation and Heyman’s promos.
Night of Champions was a good but definitely not great show. The main event was good enough and they did a solid job with some of the other matches. There’s some interesting stuff in the coming months and that’s something good for WWE after the months of repetitive stuff.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 22, 2014: Night of Night Of Champions Rematches
Monday Night Raw Date: September 22, 2014
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Night of Champions and heading towards Hell in a Cell in about five weeks. The main story is Seth Rollins breaking up Cena’s very close near fall on Brock Lesnar to end the show. The key is it makes Cena believe he can beat Lesnar, likely setting up another match inside the Cell. If they let them go nuts, that could be a classic. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event and Lesnar laying out Cena to end the show.
Here’s the returning Dean Ambrose to start things off. “I’M NOT DEAD!” Dean says he’s had to replay the incident over and over again and he can appreciate being attacked two on one. We look at Kane and Rollins giving him a curb stomp onto some cinder blocks. The Authority going to such lengths to get rid of him makes him feel special. Tonight he’s the authority and he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Seth Rollins because he never gets tired of hitting Seth Rollins in the face.
Dean gets a chair and sits in the middle of the ring but here’s Cena to interrupt. Ambrose says he doesn’t like Cena standing in the ring with him right now and Cena doesn’t want Ambrose having a reason to not like him. Cena says he has a reason to be angry because Seth Rollins stopped him from beating Brock Lesnar last night. He wants Rollins tonight and says no one is going to stop him, implying he’ll fight Ambrose to get to Seth. Dean says not to get in his way but Cena gets ready to fight. Ambrose takes his jacket off but here’s the full Authority to interrupt.
HHH says Rollins won’t be fighting tonight but Cena and Ambrose will. Cena and Ambrose aren’t interested in listening and charge at the Authority. Rollins bails with Ambrose and Cena giving chase. We cut to the back with Rollins running away from Ambrose and Cena before stealing a car to escape. Dean and John look at each other but nothing happens.
After a break, the Authority has a meeting and makes Kane vs. Ambrose and Cena vs. Orton. Kane isn’t pleased but agrees to the chance for revenge. Orton doesn’t like having to put out Rollins’ fires. WWE announced Orton vs. Ambrose before the show so I guess they already changed it.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is defending after winning the title last night and Mizdow has a small replica title in a nice touch. No R-Ziggler in Dolph’s corner either. We actually get big match intros. Feeling out process to start with Dolph grabbing a headlock but getting Miz scores with a shoulder. A knee to the ribs puts Ziggler down and we hit the chinlock. The Figure Four is countered, sending Miz shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters much though as Ziggler gets caught with a neckbreaker onto the apron and we take a break.
Back with Miz hitting the corner clothesline but he gets dropkicked out of the air when trying the top rope ax handle. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph hits the running DDT to put both guys down. Back up and Miz blocks the superkick before slapping on the Figure Four. Ziggler eventually gets to the ropes and rolls to the floor where he clotheslines Miz and Mizdow.
Back in and Miz hits a quick Skull Crushing Finale for a very close two. Ziggler gets the same off the Fameasser but Miz blocks the Zig Zag. A superkick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz rolls Dolph up and grabs the trunks. Dolph rolls through though and grabs a rollup (and trunks) of his own to get the title back at 12:56.
Rating: C+. The near falls were good here and Ziggler feels like he earned the belt, but what in the world is the point in trading the title back and forth in two days? Both guys get an extra title reign and now we’re right back where we were twenty four hours ago. I like that they’re having some action, but how about letting something last more than a day?
We recap Reigns being taken off the card and Ambrose coming in to fight Rollins.
Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas
Swagger takes him into the corner to start but Dallas takes him across the ring for a knee to the ribs. A clothesline drops Jack and some knee drops to the head get two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jack runs him over and hits a Vader Bomb. Dallas goes back to the ribs and gets two off a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as a quick Patriot Lock makes Bo tap at 3:18.
Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but is there a point to having them alternate wins on three straight shows? That’s the second match in a row where the guys are just trading victories and I’m not sure who is gaining anything out of it. Swagger winning is a good thing at least.
Zeb makes fun of Bo’s catchphrase post match.
We get a quick tribute to Howard Stern Show personality Eric the Actor who died over the weekend.
Summer Rae vs. Natalya
This is your Total Divas match of the week with Summer calling Natalya jealous to start. We get a clip from the three month old issue that started this problem where Natalya pulled Summer out of a car. Rae takes her down for a figure four full nelson followed by a front chancery. Natalya comes back by slamming Summer’s face into the mat and one of the worst looking discus lariats I’ve ever seen. Summer was falling down before any contact and it looked awful. Rosa Mendes and Layla get in a fight on the floor as the Sharpshooter makes Summer tap at 2:20.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kane
Ambrose hammers away in the corner to start and takes Kane down with right hands. A middle rope elbow to the jaw gets one but Dean has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Dean sends him out to the floor and nails a suicide dive but Kane takes him down with a big boot and sends Ambrose into the steps. Back in and Kane works on an armbar before uppercutting Dean out of the air for two.
It’s back to the armbar which Kane is barely cranking on. They get up with Dean nailing a DDT followed by the Rebound Clothesline. A missile dropkick gets two on Kane but he pops back up and grabs Dean by the throat for the chokeslam. Ambrose quickly counters into Dirty Deeds but Rollins runs out for the DQ at 5:30.
Rating: C. Better match than expected here but it’s still nothing great. I don’t see why you couldn’t have Kane get pinned here but at least Ambrose had him beaten at the end. Dean is on fire after everything that has happened to him and with no Reigns around, there’s a big door open for him if he they use him right.
Dean fights off Rollins but Kane plants him with a chokeslam. Rollins goes back to get some more but Dean has a chair and tells him to come on. Seth backs down of course.
After a break, Ambrose is locked in a room by security and the Authority. Stephanie: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love logical lines like that.
We get the video on Reigns’ surgery and the repeated announcement that he’ll be out for months.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Cesaro
Jey and Goldust start things off with a quick feeling out before it’s off to Jimmy for a big backdrop. Off to Stardust who sends Jimmy into the corner but has to duck a superkick. The Dusts bail to the floor for a breather and it’s off to Sheamus to hammer on Cesaro. They trade heavy forearms before tagging in Goldust and Jey with the Uso getting two off a splash. Back to Stardust for some forearms to Jey’s back before they trade armbars. Goldust comes back in as Stardust trips him up as we take a break.
Back with Jey fighting out of Stardust’s dragon sleeper before getting up a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the rolling fireman’s carry and ten forearms to the chest. Stardust escapes a powerslam but tags in Cesaro who pulls Sheamus out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and a middle rope ax handle gets two on Sheamus and Cesaro puts on something like a reverse Crippler Crossface. Goldust comes in again for a chinlock and knee drop before tagging back to his brother.
Sheamus fights out of a front facelock before blocking a top rope cross body with an ax handle to put both guys down. The double tag brings in Jey and Goldust with the Uso cleaning house. Jimmy makes a quick tag and hits a Whisper in the Wind to both champions. Everything breaks down and the Superfly Splash hits Goldust’s knees. The Final Cut looks to finish Jimmy but Sheamus makes a last second save. Cesaro and Sheamus go outside and Jey hits the Superfly Splash on Goldust for the pin at 15:42.
Rating: C. The match was ok but it felt much more long than good. The Usos should get a rematch after being champions for seven months and this is a decent enough way of setting it up. At least it’s better than just saying “oh they have a rematch clause.” Sheamus vs. Cesaro again would be entertaining but there are other challengers to go after the title.
Rollins comes up to Orton and doesn’t like the putting out fires line from earlier. Seth agrees to be in his corner later tonight.
Here’s the Next Generation thing they’ve been talking about. As is almost always the case, it’s for the new video game. This is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock of all sings.
Mark Henry comes out to address the fans after his loss to Rusev last night. He says he’s heartbroken and can’t believe he let everyone down. This brings out Rusev and Lana for some Russian gloating. Lana tells everyone to shut up and makes fun of the Memphis crowd. She offers Henry another match with Rusev tonight and Henry says bring it on.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
This is joined in progress with Rusev hammering away and taking Henry down for a side choke. We look at Henry getting his back injured last night as the hold keeps going. Mark fights up so Rusev dropkicks him down and puts the hold on again. Henry finally stays up and slams Rusev down but hurts his back again. They head outside with Rusev being sent into the steps after trying to drive Henry in again. Back in and Henry tries a very slow Vader Bomb but gets pulled down, sending him ribs first into the mat. The Accolade makes Henry pass out at 7:30.
Rating: D+. This was long and dull but it was a much better ending than last night. Not that it matters after Henry looked like such a loser after last night but at least they’re getting the right idea. I could have done without another rematch this soon though as this is the second from last night and third from the last week.
Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil
It had to happen eventually. Titus runs over Rose to start and hits an over the shoulder backbreaker. Off to Slater for a side kick and a chinlock as the Bunny plays cheerleader on the apron. Rose kicks Slater away but Titus breaks up the hot tag attempt. The Bunny ducks a right hand from O’Neil and Adam finally makes the hot tag. The Bunny comes in with a bunch of kicks and a few tail wags before low bridging Titus to the floor. A big spinning kick to the face drops Slater and a seated senton off the apron takes out Titus. The Party Foul is enough for the pin on Slater at 3:10.
Rating: C+. Yeah I liked it. I don’t think there’s much else to be said here.
Here’s Nikki Bella to address Brie’s interview last night where Brie said she didn’t want Nikki to become Divas Champion. She immediately calls out Brie for a chat and trash is already being talked. Nikki says Brie should be called Nikki’s Trashy Sister and wants to be the only Bella. Brie won’t do it so Nikki brings up the obvious question: why hasn’t Brie taken her husband’s name? Nikki calls Bryan a troll so Brie tries a YES Lock, sending Nikki running to the floor.
AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Paige is on commentary. AJ cranks on the arm to start before taking the non-champion down with a headscissors. A pair of neckbreakers get two on Nikki and they head out to the floor. Nikki sends AJ into Paige and the Brit is ticked off. Back in and Nikki gets two before putting on a swinging sleeper. There’s a cross armbreaker on AJ but she powers out, only to get caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Back up and Nikki misses a charge into the corner, allowing AJ to put on the Black Widow for the submission at 5:10.
Rating: D+. The longer the Bellas aren’t around a championship the better things are. Nikki wanting to fight over the Bella name is about as stupid of a way as they could go but that’s what this entire feud has been since the beginning. Thankfully AJ has dominated them every time to keep the evil from coming even more to the forefront.
A large black box is brought to ringside.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Randy takes him down with a headlock to starts but Cena quickly shakes him off, only to get pounded down in the corner. Now it’s John firing off right hands, followed by a bulldog for two. We take a break and come back with Cena being sent to the floor and into the announcers’ table. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop over the top and Cena has a breather. Back in and they collide but it’s Orton up first and taking Cena into the corner.
Orton puts on a sleeper for a bit until Cena escapes with the ProtoBomb. Randy escapes an STF attempt and takes Cena’s head off with a clothesline. He loads up a superplex but opts for a top rope Elevated DDT for a very close two instead. Cena pops back to his feet and grabs the STF, drawing in Kane and Rollins for the DQ at 15:15.
Rating: C. How in the world was this a fifteen minute match? This really didn’t work too well as it felt like they were just waiting to get to the obvious Ambrose surprise at the end. Rollins has now run in on three matches in two days which is a bit much to put it mildly. The match wasn’t bad but it ran longer than it needed to.
Post match the Authority loads up the Curb Stomp on the blocks under the box, but it’s Ambrose because….well what else was it going to be? Dean destroys everything in sight and Rollins runs off, leaving Ambrose and Cena to clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t bad but it was mainly a long recap of last night. I really liked the opening sequence with Ambrose and Cena looking like the new Super Best Friends trying to take down the Authority. The ending helped that story but there wasn’t much between the opening and closing. It was mainly recaps and rematches which weren’t very good in the first place. That being said, it was nice to go completely away from the Lesnar stuff, at least for a week. It’s not the worst show in a long time but it didn’t blow my skirt up.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock
Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter
Dean Ambrose b. Kane via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Sheamus/Usos b. Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Goldust
Rusev b. Mark Henry via referee stoppage
AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow
John Cena b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins and Kane interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Night of Champions 2014: They’re Making My Eyebrows Go Up
Night of Champions 2014 Date: September 21, 2014
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
This is the textbook definition of a one match show and now the second or third biggest match isn’t happening. Yesterday Roman Reigns was sent to the hospital with a hernia, putting him out of action for several weeks if not months. The main event is of course Cena vs. Lesnar II (III if you count the match from two and a half years ago) with Lesnar defending his title. Let’s get to it.
Instead of a pre-show match, this month we have the return of the Peep Show. Christian is a good guy this time and says it’s all about the titles. There’s one match that has peaked his interest, even though it isn’t for a title. It features his guest tonight though: Chris Jericho. There’s no jacket yet but Chris sucks up to the fans a bit before they get in a friendly argument over who came up with the name Vitamin C and who was the captain of the team.
Christian gets on Jericho for not wearing pants on his show before showing us a clip from Raw where Orton attacked Jericho to set up their match tonight. Christian calls Orton HHH’s lapdog, hamster, lackey and various other things. Randy pops up on screen and says it’s the modern Terrance and Phillip. He says Orton beat Christian up so bad that he can’t wrestle anymore and after tonight, Jericho will only be able to appear on Total Divas. Jericho says that’s a perfect set up for Orton’s show: Total Jackass. Chris lists off some snake killer names and that’s about it.
The opening video has the theme of a belt being made and of course focuses on Cena vs. Lesnar. That’s a cool concept and it worked well.
As they’re introducing the matches tonight, we see pictures of people who have held the titles before.
Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos
The Usos are defending and Jey is just getting over a knee injury in a match against the challengers which set up this match. Goldust and Jey get things going with the champ sending the veteran down. Off to Jimmy for a running forearm in the corner, sending Goldust off to tag his brother. Stardust gets slammed down as well and a hard whip sends him into the corner.
Back to Jey for the armbar but Stardust takes him into the corner for the heels to take over. Stardust starts in on the bad leg as Lawler emphasizes titles only changing hands on a pinfall or submission. Jey rolls over and tags in his brother for a big uppercut, sending Goldust rolling out to the floor. Jimmy dives onto Stardust but Goldust gets in a powerslam to take over. Back in and Goldust puts on a chinlock on Jimmy. It doesn’t last long but a spinebuster puts Jimmy down for two.
Stardust gets the same off a neckbreaker and the Dusts stay in control. Jimmy busts up a chinlock with a jawbreaker to Stardust before sending him shoulder first into the post. A spinning kick to the head drops Goldust and the hot tag brings in Jey. Everything breaks down and Jey hits some nice dives onto the Dusts before the running Umaga attack crushes Stardust in the corner.
Young Dust pops back up and nails Dark Matter for two before tying Jey in the ropes. Stardust takes off his glove and slaps Jey for some reason, earning him a huge dive over the top to the floor. All four guys are down on the floor before Jimmy sends Stardust back inside for the Superfly Splash, only to hit knees to give Stardust the pin and the titles at 12:50.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad and it’s a solid choice for an opener but I’m not sure where the champions go from here. They’re so completely away from what they were that got them over in the first place that they don’t really have anywhere to go. Granted it’s not that it matters given that the Ascension are on the horizon.
Dolph Ziggler and R-Ziggler say Dolph is ready for his title defense tonight and Miz will never work in this town again.
US Title: Cesaro vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is defending and Cesaro won a #1 contenders match here. Feeling out process to start with Sheamus taking him to the mat and then ramming him face first into the buckle. The rollnig fireman’s carry gets two but Cesaro comes back with an ax handle to the head. Sheamus gets tired of this wrestling stuff and double legs Cesaro to hammer away. They head outside with Sheamus getting the better of it before getting two off the battering ram.
Sheamus goes up top but gets uppercutted out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and we hit the sleeper on Sheamus but the champion quickly fights out, only to get nailed with a hard clothesline for two. The champ comes back with a pair of Irish Curses for two of his own. Cesaro makes the mistake of rolling to the apron and gets caught with about five forearms to the chest. He quickly escapes and nails a forearm and big boot to the head, only to go up top and get slammed down for two.
The Brogue Kick misses and the big uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Sheamus comes back with a powerslam and the champion is all fired up. The Brogue Kick misses and a rollup gets two for Cesaro. The Neutralizer is countered but Cesaro lands on his feet. Sheamus loads up another Brogue but Cesaro gets underneath him for something resembling a backwards Angle Slam for a VERY close two.
Sheamus is down on his knees where Cesaro slaps him in the face. The champ is all BRING IT ON so Cesaro hits a running boot to the face and hammers away with rights and lefts in the corner. The referee pulls him away like he should, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin to retain at 13:21.
Rating: B-. Take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for awhile. We’ve seen this match a few times before but at least it’s something good every single time. Neither guy really has anything going for him right now so pushing Sheamus makes as much sense as taking the title off him. That’s not a good thing.
Big Show gives Mark Henry a pep talk and says there are 308 million people in his corner. He gives Henry some American themed gear and tells him to tear Rusev’s head off.
Country band Florida Georgia Line comes out for commentary and says they’ll be at Tribute to the Troops.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is challenging and these two have traded the title for the last month or so. They fight over a top wristlock to start as the regular announcers suck up to the band. Ziggler tries a Thesz Press but Miz rolls away to avoid being hit in the face. The ten elbow drops have Miz in trouble but he pops up and nails a big boot for two. A boot to a seated Dolph gets two and we hit the chinlock.
Miz walks around and stomps Ziggler a few times as the announcers keep focusing on the band. This is WCW level stuff. Ziggler blocks the running corner clothesline with a clothesline of his own and both guys are down. A Stinger Splash sets up a neckbreaker for two on Miz and a sunset flip gets the same. They fall out to the floor where Mizdow sends Dolph into the apron before beating up R-Ziggler as well.
Mizdow laughs at Florida Georgia Line so they shove him down. The stunt doubles run to the back and Ziggler gets two off a superkick back inside. The Fameasser is countered into the Figure Four but Dolph finally crawls over to the rope. He pops back up with the Fameasser for two and both guys are down. Back up and Ziggler tries a rollup but Miz rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin and the title at 9:25.
Rating: C. You know, if you ignored all the stupid band stuff on commentary and the stunt doubles and cameras staying on commentary, you might have seen part of a pretty good match. Miz winning the title makes me smile as I’ve really been digging this Hollywood character lately. The Florida Georgia Line stuff was just stupid and WWE shouting “PAY ATTENTION TO US TMZ!”
Video on Reigns’ injury that aired on the Network yesterday. Reigns is shown in his bed and talking about his hernia. We also hear from the doctor who talks about how severe it was.
Here’s Seth Rollins for some gloating. One day you’re on top of the world and the next you’re Roman Reigns. Reigns is in a hospital but emergency surgery is no reason to not show up here tonight. However, in the interest of justice, Reigns has a ten count to make it to the ring. The referee rings the bell and counts as the fans chant for Ambrose.
We get to ten and Rollins is named winner by forfeit. Rollins insists that his hand be raised and says that he knows the people wanted to see him compete tonight. He’s disappointed that Reigns isn’t the man Rollins thought he was, but he’s also willing to give someone a chance. Rollins issues an open challenge for a match right now. You should know what’s coming from a mile away.
Dean Ambrose arrives in a cab (and the camera misses him getting out) and immediately takes Rollins into the crowd. There was no bell so this is just a brawl instead of a match for now. Dean hammers him through the crowd and backdrops his way out of a piledriver attempt. HHH sends out security to break it up but Ambrose dives off part of the set to take him down.
They head into another part of the crowd with Dean hammering away before clotheslining Seth back to ringside. Rollins tries to run but Dean picks up a chair. Security saves Rollins again and Dean has his hands tied. They carry him out with Dean swearing vengeance. The Authority leaves together. This was about all they could have done with Reigns being gone.
The expert panel (Renee, Booker T., Big Show and Alex Riley) recap the evening and make some basic predictions.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem before the match and Henry starts crying. Henry wins the early slugout and Rusev bails to the floor. They do the same sequence again but Henry follows him out the third time. Rusev drives him into the steps to take over before hitting a running splash back inside. He puts on a side choke and things slow down a bit.
Back up and Henry hits a quick splash in the corner but can’t lift him for the World’s Strongest Slam. Rusev nails a spinwheel kick and starts in on the bad back. Henry fights out of an Accolade attempt and nails the World’s Strongest Slam out of nowhere but his back gives out. Rusev wisely rolls outside but comes back in with the running superkick. Now the Accolade goes on and Henry quickly taps at 8:35.
Rating: D. That was pretty much exactly what was expected and it really wasn’t anything interesting. No one gave Henry much of a chance here and can you really blame them? At the end of the day the Hall of Pain period was such an outlier in his career as the rest of his career has been such a mess.
We look at Lesnar’s sitdown interview from earlier this week where he says he’s here to fight.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho
This is the result of Orton attacking Jericho a few weeks back. They start fast with Jericho nailing a dropkick and clotheslining Orton out to the floor. Back in and Orton charges into some boots in the corner but manages to crotch Jericho on top. A superplex drops Jericho and we hit the chinlock. They head outside again with Jericho being dropped back first onto the barricade.
Jericho gets thrown over the announcers’ table for two and we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and Jericho nails a shoulder for two but walks into a powerslam for the same. The RKO is countered into a bulldog and the Lionsault gets two. Orton escapes a Walls attempt and sends Jericho shoulder first into the post.
The Punt misses and Jericho gets two off a rollup before putting on the Walls. Orton gets pulled back to the middle of the ring but he slips through the legs and kicks Jericho back to the floor. The Elevated DDT plants Chris but he counters the RKO into a Codebreaker for two. Jericho takes forever to get up top and dives into the RKO for the pin at 16:19.
Rating: B+. This was a really solid match which surprised me by the end. I don’t think the ending was really in doubt but at least they gave us an awesome match to make up for it. Odds are Jericho leaves for awhile after this and I can’t say I’m complaining. He’s getting up there in years and you can only put over so many people before it loses some of its appeal.
Paige narrates the recap video about the triple threat. Nothing much to say here: AJ and Paige have been feuding since April and Nikki is here to promote Total Divas.
Brie says Nikki shouldn’t become champion because she’ll become even more obnoxious.
Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Paige is defending. Nikki (with something resembling cornrows in part of her hair) bumps chests with the champion to start but AJ speeds things up to take over. Nikki sends AJ out to the floor and grabs a cross armbreaker on Paige. The champion fights up but AJ pulls her to the floor. AJ gets two on Paige off a spinwheel kick but Nikki comes back in to pull some hair. Paige kicks her to the floor and hugs AJ to her feet, only to nail her in the face.
Some headbutts get two on AJ until Nikki comes back in and beats up AJ a bit more. She catches AJ’s cross body but gets countered into the Black Widow. Paige makes the save and loads up a superplex until Nikki makes it a Tower of Doom. Why Nikki is down as well isn’t clear. AJ it sent to the floor but comes back in to break up a pin after Nikki’s Rack. Nikki yells at her until AJ tosses her back outside. The less annoying ones go inside again where AJ grabs the Black Widow to make AJ submit at 8:45.
Rating: C-. We’ll call this a pleasant surprise as Nikki isn’t champion and that means this is a good day. Hopefully this winds up being like last year where they tease one of the Total Divas winning forever but never actually pull the trigger. Nikki is watchable in the ring but the story with her sister just kills anything they do.
We get a by the numbers look at Lesnar vs. Cena from Summerslam.
Expert panel on the main event.
We recap the World Title match. Lesnar destroyed Cena at Summerslam so Cena has gotten all aggressive to have a chance at getting the title back tonight. Heyman has been trying to get him to embrace the hate and it went about as well as you would expect.
WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena
They have over half an hour for this. Cena charges again and is immediately taken into the corner for shoulders to the ribs. Brock tries a German but Cena grabs the ropes and drops Lesnar with a clothesline. The AA gets one after forty seconds but Brock grabs the Kimura. Cena is in the ropes so Brock fires in some hard knees to the ribs. There’s the first German suplex but Cena comes back with right hands, only to get caught in another Kimura. John is right next to the ropes though and the hold is quickly broken.
Another knee to the ribs puts Cena down and a third Kimura sends Cena running to the ropes. The second suplex gets two and Brock busts out Three Amigos but Cena’s shoulders aren’t down. Brock drives some shoulders into the ribs but Cena scores with some rights and lefts. Not that they matter as Lesnar takes his head off with a clothesline. Back to the Kimura with the same result as Cena grabs the arm.
An overhead belly to belly gets two for the champion and he shrugs off more punches. Cena comes back again with rights hands and a great looking elbow to the jaw to stun Brock for a bit. The AA is countered into yet another German though and Lesnar has a bloody nose. Cena has a big bruise on his left kidney. Brock takes the gloves off and drives Cena into the buckle for even more shoulders to the ribs. Another AA connects out of nowhere for two and Lesnar is actually in trouble.
The F5 is countered and Cena grabs the STF but Lesnar easily separates the arms and puts on another Kimura. Cena powers to his feet and rams Lesnar into the buckle a few times to escape. The third AA sets up another STF and Cena drags it back to the middle of the ring. He does it again and Heyman is starting to freak out. Cena picks him up for a fourth AA but Rollins runs in with the briefcase for the DQ at 14:02.
Rating: B+. This was a much better match but the ending really drags it down. However this gives us a reason for a third match in the Cell because Cena knows he can beat him. It’s good storytelling but I don’t like this as a way to end a pay per view. They did a good job of making Lesnar seem closer to human though and that makes for great drama.
A briefcase to Cena’s head sends him to the floor and Lesnar is out. Rollins takes forever to turn around but he plants Lesnar with a Curb Stomp. He cashes in but Cena picks Rollins off before we get a bell. So there’s no cash in. Lesnar lays out Cena with an F5 and holds up the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I’d call this show a pleasant surprise. As usual there’s hope for the future but I’m not sure how much they’re actually going to follow up on this. Cena vs. Rollins for a month before we put these two inside the Cell is fine, but I’d like to see ANYONE else get in there instead of Cena for awhile. Not that Cena vs. Lesnar is a bad match, but spread the wealth a bit. It’s a good show but the interest level is still really low.
Results
Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Stardust pinned Jimmy after a missed Superfly Splash
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Rusev b. Mark Henry – Accolade
Randy Orton b. Chris Jericho – RKO
AJ Lee b. Paige and Nikki Bella – Black Widow to Paige
John Cena b. Brock Lesnar via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
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I have a feeling this is going to be a shorter one as most of the matches are fairly obvious, meaning there isn’t much to say about them. That’s a bad sign too as most of the matches haven’t had a ton of effort put into them and it really isn’t all that hard to guess most of them. WWE has done a very bad job of setting up this show other than the main event and it’s going to catch up to them. Let’s get to it.
There hasn’t been a pre-show match but the rumor is the Bunny/Rose vs. Slater/O’Neil. I can live with this, but they better nail the unmasking. The rumor of Darren Young would be about as big of a letdown as you could ask for.
The main event is the only match that matters here and WWE has done a good job of making me believe Cena could pull it off. At the end of the day though, I’m hoping Lesnar holds onto the title. If not, it’s a pretty big waste of Brock’s huge push, especially when Cena doesn’t really have anyone other than Rusev to fight with. I’ll go with a double DQ though to set up the showdown in the Cell.
Since Reigns is out with the surgery, I’m hoping they go with the obvious idea of Rollins giving an open challenge and Ambrose returning for the big showdown. I’m not sure if Reigns’ condition is legit or not, but man alive it’s convenient that they did Rollins vs. Reigns on Monday, right before Ambrose is due back.
Cesaro takes the US Title, though I have no idea what he does with it.
I’d like to see Miz take the title as he’s doing very well with the character. That being said, he isn’t going any higher with it. I wouldn’t mind seeing Breeze debuting with the entourage soon though.
Unfortunately, odds are Nikki walks out with the title because for some reason the Bellas are the second biggest act on the card right now, despite the interest just not being there. Oh wait it’s to get 14 people to watch Total Divas or vice versa. I’m so glad we get to deal with this stuff. Did I mention I REALLY hate this story?
Rusev beats Henry. Duh.
I’ll take the brothers to walk out with the Tag Team Titles. I mean the brothers who paint their faces. Gah this is annoying. The Dusts win the titles and maybe we finally find out what the Cosmic Key is.
Orton beats Jericho. Does ANYONE care about this match?
Night of Champions is one of the least interesting cards I’ve seen in a very long time. This company just has no energy anymore and hasn’t since Summerslam was over. WWE has put in almost no effort to the show and it’s clear that they’re not interested in trying hard for this one. This is the really bad fall lull and we’ve got a few more months of it to go before things start getting better. Maybe some of the NXT guys can breathe life into the company but I wouldn’t bet on it right now. Lesnar vs. Cena should be good though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: