Monday Night Raw
Date: April 6, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the regular style shows this week with Wrestlemania season wrapped up. The big story coming out of last week was Brock Lesnar’s suspension, meaning we’re not likely to see him again for a few months. In the meantime, we have Randy Orton challenging for the World Title at Extreme Rules, which is likely the focus of tonight’s show. We also find out who is answering this week’s open challenge for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

Saxton is in for Cole on commentary.

We look at some stills of HHH vs. Sting.

The Authority is in the ring minus HHH and Stephanie. Rollins is booed out of the building but Big Show says the champion is trying to talk. Seth says the Authority is on vacation tonight before bragging about the attendance record, the number of people watching and the number of times they trended worldwide. That last part sounded so stupid. HHH put the final nail in WCW’s coffin because the Authority always win. Big Show is officially the best giant of all time and Kane…..well Kane was there too!

Show says everyone on this roster is under his shadow but the important thing is Wrestlemania ended with a new, honorable champion. Rollins again fails at coming up with something Kane did at Wrestlemania but before Kane can give his answer, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt. Randy congratulates him on having his Wrestlemania moment. Of course it happened after a huge RKO took him out earlier in the night.

Rollins calls that complaining but Orton says he wants another shot, this time for the title. I’m pretty sure that match was already confirmed on Smackdown, or at least heavily implied. Orton asks Kane for the shot, and even asks if Kane needs to call mommy and daddy for permission. Kane demands respect and makes a three way match for the #1 contendership tonight between Orton, Reigns and Ryback. As usual, I had that typed before Kane even started because WWE is that predictable these days. However, Kane mixes things up a bit by saying all three of them have to compete in singles matches first.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Randy gets to the middle rope to start and drives in some forearms to the chest, only to get caught by an uppercut to knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Kane stomping away but getting caught in the elevated DDT. They head outside with Orton nailing a clothesline, only to take a chair to the ribs for the DQ at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the storyline ending.

Post match Kane tries a chokeslam on the chair but Orton counters into an RKO attempt, sending Kane running.

The announcers bring up AJ retiring and show a tweet of her boots.

Brad Maddox is in Kane’s office when Rollins comes in to yell at Kane. The priority is to protect Rollins, but for some reason Kane doesn’t get that. Kane takes credit for Rollins winning Money in the Bank, so Rollins says Kane is going to have to answer to the Authority. That’s fine with Kane, as he puts Rollins in a match tonight. For those of you counting, that would be five matches made during the show.

Cole is considering legal actions against Lesnar. JBL had to have emergency surgery for a torn abdomen wall and Booker wants Lesnar fired. Yay! Legal ramifications!

We look back at Lesnar’s path of rage last week.

The WWE Network is free for April. That’s the third free month out of six.

Seth Rollins vs. Neville

Non-title and Rollins is suddenly far less nervous. He grabs a mic and talks some trash to Neville, saying Neville must be terrified to be out here. Rollins has been there before too and offers the pipsqueak a chance to sit this one out. Neville kicks him in the ribs and we’re ready to go. A quick armdrag puts the champ down but he stomps Neville in the corner to take over. Neville does his front flip out of the corner and hurricanranas Seth to the floor, setting up a big flip dive. He slides back in to avoid the Stooges and we take a break. Back with Neville being sent face first into the middle buckle and Seth dropping knees to the face.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins picks him up for some knees to the ribs. Seth is toying with him as he drives some elbows into the head before putting on another chinlock. A running clothesline flips Neville inside out but he counters the buckle bomb with a hurricanrana. It’s Red Arrow time but Mercury offers a distraction so Noble can break it up. Instead it’s a quick rollup for two on Seth, who counters another hurricanrana into the buckle bomb. Curb Stomp ends Neville at 11:39.

Rating: C+. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Neville is not buried, isn’t being buried, and doesn’t even have any dirt on him. If you need an explanation for why, I’ve failed at teaching you anything. This was a good showcase for Neville but there was no other logical way this could end without interference. The fact that Neville is in this spot two weeks in is a great sign for the future.

Rollins gives him another Curb Stomp after the match.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. The city of Austin has declared this WWE Day so Cena is extra fired up. A lot of fans want him to come out and lose the title already, but this title is a symbol of opportunity. Someone can come out here and have a chance to put their name in the history books. Take Rusev for example. He wants his rematch for the title, but for some reason he wants to wait until Extreme Rules. Why not have the match tonight in Austin? Anyway, someone can come out here right now and step up to get stepped on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Stardust

Cena grabs a headlock to start and throws Stardust to the ropes, only to have him skin the cat. Back in and Cena drops some elbows as the announcers talk about Back to the Future for no logical reason. A delayed suplex gets two for the champ as Cena is mixing things up this week. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Stardust bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena diving into a dropkick and Stardust hitting something like Diamond Dust for two.

What looks to be a springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Cena a near fall of his own. The AA doesn’t work so Stardust hooks an Alabama Slam for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered as well and Cena plants him with a kind of sitout powerslam. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Stardust kicks him in the head and gets another close cover off a DDT.

A moonsault press gets the same and Cena is in some trouble. It’s not enough trouble though as he trips Stardust into the STF. Stardust is close to the ropes though and hits a quick Cross Rhodes for two. That’s enough for Cena as he hits the springboard Stunner and the AA retains the title at 13:10.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what the open challenge should be doing: giving someone you don’t usually see in a spot like this getting a chance to showcase themselves. Good match here with Stardust getting to show off a bit but ultimately coming up short. What I liked best about this match though: it was fresh. I’ll take a match with an obvious ending over a match we’ve seen 19 times before almost every time.

Naomi/Paige vs. Bella Twins

The Bella Twins’ name graphic now lists them both as Divas Champion. I know it’s not intentional but it’s probably more accurate than they intended. Brie takes Paige into the ropes to start and sends her to the floor for a hard shot from Nikki. The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Off to Nikki for a bodyscissors for a bit before Nikki misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. She botches a spinning headscissors before kicking Nikki in the face before slipping on a landing out of the corner. The Rear View gets two with Brie making the save, only to have Paige kick Nikki down. The headscissors driver gets zero reaction but it’s enough to pin Nikki at 5:00.

Rating: D-. Sweet Christmas the Bellas are dull in the ring. They’re just not interesting no matter how you look at them and there’s nothing in the ring that makes me want to watch them. It didn’t help that Naomi was botching almost everything she was doing here and looked more like Cameron than anyone else. Horrible match that gave me flashbacks to the dark days of the division.

The announcers talk about Miz vs. Mizdow but we go to the Prime Time Players ripping on New Day with the same insults from Smackdown. They switch over to making fun of Ascension with some home made spiked shoulder pads that keep breaking. Ascension can’t read either and they hit the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks.

Luke Harper vs. Ryback

Harper nails a quick dropkick to start and a big boot sends Ryback to the floor. After teasing loading up the announcers’ table, Harper takes him back inside for a Boss Man Slam and something like a crossface. Ryback gets the rope, avoids a charge to send Harper into the post and hits Shell Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 2:48. That was his only significant move of the match.

The New Day is hurt and disappointed by the crowd thinking they suck, but they won’t find disappointment in their dancing. They clap or they snap. Big E. says he was eating at the airport yesterday when a kid came up and asked him (with Big E. doing a kid’s voice) to sign a breakfast menu for his brother. Of course he could, because he claps. It really doesn’t make more sense in context.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Kofi is on the floor this time but his slapping of the apron makes the fans chant NEW DAYS SUCKS in time. Big E. runs Cara over to start and both he and Woods take turns stomping away in the corner. Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya are watching in the back as Woods gives up the hot tag to Kalisto. Things speed way up with Kalisto snapping off the hurricanrana but Big E. makes the save. Cara low bridges Big E. to the floor but Kofi gets in a cheap shot from the floor to give Woods two on Kalisto. Woods like the cheating but the Dragons make a blind tag, allowing the Salida Del Sol to set up the Swanton from Cara to pin Woods at 2:59.

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Because, uh, reasons! They slug it out to start with Show taking him into the corner for some chops. Show throws him across the ring by the vest and stands on his back on the ropes. They head outside with Show slowly plodding around and throwing Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes back with a running apron kick but Show spears him down as we take a break. Back with Big Show still dominating because, uh, reasons!

Show charges into a boot in the corner and gets staggered by some clotheslines, only to catch Reigns in a side slam. The bouncing Vader Bomb gets two more and Show baseball slides him into the barricade. Reigns comes up to the apron and hammers away before Stunning Show over the apron. The Superman Punch from the floor sets up another in the ring. The third sets up the spear for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. I did not like this match. I am ceasing this rating description for reasons as an exercise in anger management due to a desire to not die at the age of 43, which is also Big Show’s current age, which is usually when wrestlers retire but he’s still out there getting to dominate people and for some reason WWE doesn’t get that we don’t care.

Kane is on the phone when a bunch of Divas come in to hit on him. They bring up the “Give Divas A Chance movement” (Alicia’s finger quotes, not mine) and ask for a #1 contenders battle royal. Kane makes the match for next week to get rid of them.

Reigns says watch what he does next.

Here’s Sheamus to say he looks like a real man. The fans tell him that he looks stupid but he says the grown up is talking now. He’s a warrior who belongs here, unlike the go getters who just won’t go away. People like Dolph Ziggler are insects who need to be crushed. Sheamus is told to pick on people his size, but there aren’t too many his size. Cue his opponent.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry is the hometown boy. Sheamus goes to leave but gets pulled back into the ring to start the fight. The bell rings and Henry blocks a kick with a right hand to the face. A top wristlock goes badly for Sheamus as he’s shoved to the floor. Back up and Sheamus can’t finish the ten forearms as Henry elbows him in the face, only to have Sheamus nail some knee lifts on the apron. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick for the pin at 2:33. Booker calls Sheamus a viking for no apparent reason.

We look at the big talking segment from Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt shows up on screen and says someone’s entire life revolves around dedication. However dedicated you are, you can’t compete with the forces of nature. You can’t compete against fear either, for it is not your drive for success that motivates you. What motivates you is fear and it holds the key to your undoing. Does he have your attention now? Behold the new face of fear.

Ryback is hungry for the WWE World Title.

Damien Mizdow vs. Miz

We get a battle of sunglasses removal to start but Mizdow knocks him to the floor before taking his off. Back in and Mizdow chokes him in the corner but eats a big boot to the face. Mizdow shoves him to the corner but doesn’t seem that comfortable on offense. A snap suplex and knee drop keep Miz in trouble. Mizdow scores with an electric chair and headbutt, followed by the Reality Check for no cover. Miz tries a low blow but gets taken down and punched in the face. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Mizdow at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This show is going WAY too long and it’s starting to drag horribly. It’s pretty clear that this match was designed to set up a gimmick rematch, maybe for the rights to the name and the music, at Extreme Rules. Nothing much to see here though, other than Mizdow looking awkward on offense at times.

Orton has nothing against his opponents but he’s winning tonight.

Ryback vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Winner gets the title shot at Extreme Rules. Ryback tries to Shell Shock Reigns seconds in but gets taken down by Orton’s backbreaker for two. A clothesline gets the same on Reigns but Ryback throws Orton to the floor. Cue the Authority on the stage, where they can see Ryback powerslam Reigns. Roman breaks up the elevated DDT on Ryback before clotheslining him in the corner. There’s a Superman Punch to Orton but Ryback plants Reigns with a spinebuster.

The Meat Hook puts Reigns down again but Ryback has to stop Orton with a spinebuster as well. Reigns breaks up Shell Shock on Orton with a spear and all three are down. Now the Authority starts coming to the ring but Reigns dives on all of them. Show KO Punches him though, only to have Rollins go after Orton. Cue the Stooges to go after Orton but Ryback beats them up. The RKO on Ryback sends Orton to Extreme Rules at 5:18.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t bad while it lasted. I’m getting back into Ryback but there was almost no way Orton didn’t win here. Unfortunately it really seems that they’re setting up Reigns vs. Big Show again, despite the interest just not being there. That never stopped them before though.

Rollins hits a Curb Stomp before we can hear what the voices do in Orton’s head.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more good than bad but it really started dragging at about 10:30. At the end of the day, three hours is just too long for a single wrestling show every week. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talent was working twice tonight and we had more than one Divas segments. The stuff with the new guys or the new characters was good, but they really need to get away from Big Show and the Bellas. Those three are just crippling whatever scenes they’re in and the fans aren’t going to lighten up on them anytime soon. Watchable show this week but it needed to be half an hour shorter.

Results

Randy Orton b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair

Seth Rollins b. Neville – Curb Stomp

John Cena b. Stardust – Attitude Adjustment

Naomi/Paige b. Bella Twins – Headscissors driver to Nikki

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Swanton Bomb to Woods

Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Randy Orton b. Ryback and Roman Reigns – RKO to Ryback

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I’ve done too many Give Divas A Chance lines already.

This is another one that I’ve been going back and forth on every week. Let’s get the first major issue out of the way first: this should be for the Divas Title. Make it a fourway, make it a tag match for the title (it’s been done before) or just make it a singles match with one of them challenging Nikki, but don’t set up a meaningless tag match with a series of title matches. It doesn’t make sense but this is what we’re getting.

Now I’m not one to admit this, but the story hasn’t been that bad. The promo on Smackdown this past week was the selling point for me, as the girls started arguing more and more but actually said some stuff instead of just lame insults. You have the non-sisters talking about being proud of not being spoiled reality “stars” and failed D-list celebrities while the Bellas say they’ve been running this place while AJ is off TV all the time.

See, THAT is a story. Instead of just having them fight over some fake, lame story off Total Divas (the real prize of the Divas these days), they’re arguing about stuff that only these girls can talk about. It’s getting down to the idea of entertainment vs. the wrestling which is always something you can go to for a major story. This is something interesting for a change, but the question is where do they go with it from here.

The big line lately has been “Give Divas A Chance.” That’s fine, but at the end of the day, you have to actually DO something instead of just talking about it. I know it’s become a theory that the Bellas are getting better in the ring, but the reality is they’re getting more competent. If you watch them, it’s clear that they’re having to go step for step to get through a match and they would be lost if they had to improvise anything. Now to be fair, that puts them at the higher end of the division, but they’re WAY behind the classically trained wrestlers.

AJ and Paige on the other hand…..I’m kind of over them. They’re talented and look good in the ring, but we’ve just seen them fight for the better part of a year and it’s hard to care about seeing them again. It doesn’t help that you have the Divas in NXT ready to come up to the main roster and probably wrestle circles around a lot of the main roster Divas, but they’re not going anywhere because we need crazy people like Eva Marie (what does she actually do for WWE anyway?) and Cameron who have the loud personalities that get ratings on reality shows.

As for the match, the theory would be they set up the next challenger for Nikki’s title, but an instinct tells me that’s not where they’re going. What I’d like to see is Nikki get the pin and the FINALLY have her showdown with Brie that we should have gotten five months ago before Charlotte shows up and takes the Divas Title. Yeah she’s not on Total Divas, but it’s been far too long since we’ve given Flair some kind of praise right? Anyway, Nikki pins let’s say AJ after AJ and Paige have issues. As usual though, if the match doesn’t get any time, there’s no chance this goes anywhere. It doesn’t need to be a marathon, but give then ten minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 7, 2014
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I figured I’d throw this one in as a bonus, plus I kind of wanted to watch this show again. This is of course the big fallout show from Wrestlemania, which is usually a huge mix of storytelling, debuts, turns and an INSANE crowd that will take over the show. These things can be all over the place and it’s always fun to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Daniel Bryan Monster video from last night. That’s still awesome stuff. This one includes him posing with the belts after the main event last night to really cap it off.

Here’s Daniel Bryan, because what else could have opened the show? I can forgive his magically healed shoulder here. The fans go insane of course and even JBL admits that he’s wrong. They won’t let him talk with the DANIEL BRYAN chants. “You guys never get tired do you?” He doesn’t think the fans know how hard it is to do the YES chant with two titles.

The fans try it without two titles and Bryan leads them one more time before his shoulders start hurting. Bryan talks about how the fans are united under behind one word, but the fans cut him off with a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Bryan: “I might deserve it a little bit, but I think you guys deserve it.” He thanks the fans for being behind him and it’s YES time again but here are HHH and Stephanie.

They stand on the apron because HHH doesn’t want to get in the ring and do something he’ll regret. Bryan takes the title off his waist, gets right in HHH’s face, and does the YES pose for a funny spot. HHH says this ends tonight because this is his show. Therefore, he’s booked himself into a title shot against Bryan tonight and the YES movement ends. This was the only way to start the show and Bryan vs. HHH is a fine main event, especially given that you know it’s a big angle.

A graphic of Lesnar standing over Undertaker with the caption “streak conquered” got the loudest heat of the night.

Batista comes in to yell at HHH but the boss says Batista was the one tapping. Orton comes in and says he should get the title match tonight because he has a rematch clause. HHH says he’s the COO so they get rematches at a later date because tonight he’s taking care of Bryan. That’s not cool with them so Stephanie gives them a Tag Team Title shot. HHH says historically, the three of them are unstoppable when they’re on the same page. That’s called planting a seed.

Wyatt Family vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Big E.

Oh here we go. The fans are WAY into the Wyatts but debut singing “John Cena Sucks” to the tune of his theme song. I really wish that one had caught on as it’s just glorious. The good guys charge the ring and the brawl is on with Cena eventually starting against Bray. The fans are almost universally behind Bray here as the nutty crowd is starting fast. Cena’s right hands are booed out of the building and Sheamus comes in with a slingshot shoulder.

Off to Rowan for a slugout and he just shoves a punching Sheamus out of the corner. Big E. comes in for a running shoulder to the ribs before lifting Rowan up for three straight backbreakers, finally winning some respect from the fans. “THAT WAS GOOD!” Harper comes in, accidentally knocks Rowan off the apron, and runs into a shoulder from Big E. It’s back to Cena as the fans get annoyed again but Harper slams him down.

We take a break and come back with Harper holding Cena in a headlock and earning a LET’S GO HARPER chant. Cena loads up an AA but eats a DDT for two instead. Back to Rowan as the fans start singing. Bray comes in again for some frenzied stomping but Cena hits that running clothesline to get a breather. Now the fans sing that Cena sucks but a release Rock Bottom makes them cheer Bray instead.

Cena finally throws Harper down and makes the hot tag to Sheamus to clean house. A top rope double shoulder puts the Family down and Sheamus mocks Bray’s pose. Rowan decks Sheamus with a clothesline (POP) and it’s off to Big E. vs. Wyatt. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but the Family comes back in to clean house, setting up a suicide dive to take out Sheamus. The spider walk (“WYATT’S GONNA KILL YOU!”) sets up Sister Abigail’s Kiss to pin Big E and end the madness.

Rating: C. The match was fine but you know this is all about the crowd. The post Wrestlemania crowd is more of an attraction than the wrestling itself a lot of the time and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for Sheamus taking the pin instead of the Intercontinental Champion, but this is one of those shows where it really doesn’t matter that much.

Slam City ad.

We get a video of people doing a bunch of outdoor sports with the word impossible. It really says I’m Possible though, and you can be too, if you just BOLIEVE.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Summer is looking especially fetching tonight. Emma was just so wasted with Santino. The guys start with a dance off but Santino quickly loads up the Cobra, meaning it’s off to the girls. Emma grabs a quick Dilemma followed by the Emma Sandwich before the Emma Lock gets a very fast submission. This was just filler.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar for the mother of all victory laps. Brock shows off his EAT SLEEP BREAK THE STREAK shirt. Heyman says it’s his privilege to represent the conqueror of the Streak. It lasted nearly a quarter of a century but Brock ended it in three seconds. The fans’ shock shows their lack of intelligence, because THEY TOLD YOU SO. Heyman reads the shirt because we’re too stupid to do it ourselves.

Brock isn’t here to put smiles o your face, but rather to shock the WWE Universe and put tears in the eyes of children. Heyman is on fire tonight. Let’s go off page a bit and shoot from the hip shall we? Five seconds after walking through the curtains at Wrestlemania, Undertaker collapsed and was taken to the hospital with Vince himself riding with him. The greatest thing Undertaker ever did was stay down after the third F5 because he would have had a broken neck and a cracked skull. Brock’s evil smile here is glorious.

Here’s what amazes Heyman: “After the match, John Bradshaw Layfield and those two other things that call themselves announcers” applauded the Undertaker, along with 80,000 other people in the Superdome (“Not Silverdome Hogan”). So why weren’t people cheering for the winner? The fans should all feel empowered because they’re all wannabes, just like the rest of that locker room. Everyone was looking down when Lesnar came through the curtain last night because Brock doesn’t respect anyone. “HE BARELY LIKES ME!”

There are a lot of people back there who say they could have fought in an octagon, but Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Undertaker never did that, because they’re all wannabes. A lot of people wanted to be the NCAA Heavyweight Champion, UFC Heavyweight Champion and WWE World Heavyweight Champion, but Rock, Hogan and Austin didn’t do it because they’re all wannabes. And now, for the line of the year. “Last night a lot of people were coming up to me and saying they could have broken the Streak. So why didn’t you?”

We get the debut of “Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1” and Heyman makes sure to say it even slower for the WHAT crowd. There are Hall of Famers, there are legends, there are superstars, but those are all plural. Then there is only one Brock Lesnar. If you don’t understand why this was absolutely amazing, I don’t know what to tell you.

Adam Rose is coming. That should have opened house shows for years but why not just turn him heel and completely miss the point of the character? Or we could have a bunny upstage him.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Usos are defending of course. Jimmy slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. The fans of course reminds Dave that he tapped out. Jey tags himself in to punch Orton in the face as the fans want Y2J and then CM Punk. Jey gets beaten down in the corner and both champions are sent outside. The fans switch to JBL as Orton DDT’s Jey off the barricade for the double countout. I’m really glad they didn’t change the belts here because it would have been such a stupid move.

A SICK powerbomb onto the steps crushes Jimmy.

Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow

This is Van Dam’s latest return and you know he’s getting a great reaction. Sandow is quickly sent to the floor but he pulls Rob’s leg out and drives some knees into the chest. The Wind-Up elbow connects and YOU’RE WELCOME for that. It’s amazing how completely different Sandow has become in just a year. Some kicks put Sandow on the floor and the spinning kick from the apron knocks him silly. Back in and Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the pin. Just a “welcome back” match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Bad News Barrett

This is Barrett’s return as well and I believe his first match as Bad News. The fans are entirely behind Barrett and did you really expect anything else? Rey hammers away during the catchphrase and becomes the littlest heel on the roster. He quickly sends Barrett to the floor for a sliding splash but takes a hard kick to the ribs back inside. Barrett pounds away at the back and gets two off Winds of Change. He hits a running knee to the ribs, only to have his superplex broken up. A top rope seated senton gets two for Rey and the 619 connects, but he gets crotched on top and Bull Hammered for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here but the wrestling isn’t the point on a show like this. It’s good to see Barrett back from his nine millionth injury and Mysterio is expendable for something like this. Unless I’m mistaken, this was Mysterio’s last match with the company before he finally got to go back to Mexico.

Video on Rusev, who debuts next.

Alexander Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Rusev quickly takes him into the corner before holding him against the ropes for the knees to the ribs. The jumping superkick and a spinning slam sets up the Accolade for the first win of many.

Hall of Fame video.

Here’s Ultimate Warrior for the first time on Raw in about eighteen years. He puts on a Warrior coat and shakes the ropes, making his face very red in the process. Warrior hasn’t been sure what to say, so he puts on a Warrior mask and lets his other persona (or whatever it is) take over. He talks about how every man’s heart will beat its final beat and if the work he has done in his life means something, his story will never die. There are people in the back with his spirit and it will run forever. This is one of the most disturbing things you’ll ever hear given what happened tomorrow, as it’s a good farewell speech.

We get the very cool “Thank You Fans” video. I didn’t know what that was at first but it made me smile at the end.

Here are AJ and Tamina so the former can brag about being Divas Champion for 295 days now. She gave all of them a chance to prove her wrong and every single one of them has failed. She’s the hero of this story and the savior of the Divas division. Scratch that. She IS the Divas division, but here’s the debuting Paige to disagree. Paige is here to do what no one else would: congratulate AJ on her accomplishments. AJ tells her to go back to NXT and offers Paige a beating to send her there. Paige isn’t ready but AJ slaps her in the face and says let’s make it a title match. The fans are happy because they all know what’s coming.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

The champ jumps her to start and drops Paige with a running elbow. The Black Widow goes on but Paige powers out, hits a horrible looking Paige Turner and wins the title in a shock. Well as much of a shock as it can be given how obvious it was.

Bolieve!

Here’s Hulk Hogan to present the Andre battle royal trophy to Cesaro. Sign in the crowd: “Hogan’s Cue Card: SMOOTHIE KING CENTER!” He gets the building right and says his favorite Wrestlemania moment last night was the battle royal. The fans cut him off with a CESARO chant and Hogan talks about how cool it was to see Big Show lifted into the air and slammed out because Andre himself was watching from Heaven. He brings out the thirty first man in the battle royal who just happened to be the winner.

Cesaro comes out with Zeb Colter in toe. To my great shock, Hogan shakes Cesaro’s hand, says congratulations and walks out. Zeb takes the mic and says he’ll handle it from here because he’s a real American. He talks about making Cesaro an American and a Zeb Colter guy, but Cesaro says that’s not quite true, because he’s a Paul Heyman Guy. Heyman comes out and says he’s the advocate for the King of Swing, sending Zeb into a frenzy. Heyman goes outside to tell the announcers how to talk about his new guy, allowing Swagger to come in and deck Cesaro and break the trophy (SHOCK AND AWE!).

Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress after a break with Cesaro getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. They head outside with Cesaro staying in control and Heyman holding the broken trophy. Back in and Jack runs the ropes for the belly to belly throw. Knees to the ribs set up a WE THE PEOPLE shout before Jack cranks on both arms. A powerslam gets two but Cesaro raises his boots to stop the Vader Bomb. Cesaro comes back with the apron superplex and some running European uppercuts, but Swagger bails to the floor for the Swing and it’s a countout.

Rating: D+. Cesaro’s year is one of the biggest disappointments since last year as he should have been launched to the main event but he wound up doing nothing for the better part of a year. It’s nice to see him getting a push now, even though he’s cooled WAY off in the last year. Seeing him with a title makes me smile though as he certainly earned it.

We recap the opening sequence that set up the main event.

Stephanie tells Shield and Kane to cool it because what happened last night doesn’t matter. All that matters tonight is HHH winning the World Title match but Shield asks Kane where the Outlaws have gone. That’s too much for Kane who says HHH thinks the Shield are expendable pawns and lets it slip that HHH told him to beat Shield down a few weeks ago on Smackdown. Stephanie calls this an injustice and instantly has Shield’s attention. Oh this is going to be good.

WWE World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

There’s no HHH just yet though as Batista and Orton come to the ring. Both guys lay out Bryan with their respective finishers and here’s Kane to add a chokeslam. The fans are already chanting HOUNDS OF JUSTICE but they get Batista mocking the YES chant. Instead the fans chant for 3MB of all people but instead here’s HHH to start the match. HHH demands that the bell ring but, just like any villain, takes his sweet time doing anything, allowing the Shield to come out. The match is done at this point so we’ll get to what everyone wants to see.

Kane, Orton and Batista get on the apron and Shield stands on the floor looking at them. HHH looks scared to death in the ring as Bryan is still down in the corner. Now Shield gets on the apron but HHH says this isn’t happening. This isn’t breaking down into a war. The fans think this is awesome and all six get in the ring.

Kane is ready to fight but HHH sends him back to the ropes, only to turn around for a spear from Reigns. The fight is on and Ambrose and Rollins hit a great looking double dive to take down Batista and Orton. A Superman Punch puts Kane down and HHH is surrounded. Bryan gets back up for the running knee and the Authority runs to fight another day to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The wrestling sucked and if you think that’s the point of the show, you don’t understand how this Raw thing works. This was a great show as it moved so many things forward, debuted new wrestlers, gave us some major plot advancements and felt important for the first time in a very long time. In other words, this show actually did stuff and had some fun instead of beating everything into our heads all night long. It’s one of the best post Wrestlemania shows of all time, which says a lot as this might be the second most important night of the year.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/09/monday-night-raw-april-7-2014-playing-to-the-crowd/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,540
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the final show before the big one and that means we’re in for a very different kind of Smackdown. This is likely to be a studio heavy show with a lot of video packages, but it’s not like Smackdown means much in the first place. The main event is a big eight man tag with most of the people in some of the bigger matches. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro vs. Fernando vs. Big E.

One fall to a finish and no tags. It’s a big brawl to start with Jimmy hitting the running Umaga attack on Cesaro but Big E. suplexes Jimmy and Fernando down. Big E. keeps going by throwing them all into the same corner and driving in shoulders. Fernando is left alone with Big El and the Warrior Splash gets two. Jimmy comes back in to kick Big E. in the head and Fernando hits a big dive to take out E. and Cesaro. That’s not enough for Jimmy as he dives on all three for a huge crash.

Back in and Cesaro loads up the apron superplex on Fernando but Jimmy gets in to help him, only to have Big E. German suplex both guys to put all four down in something like a Tower of Doom. Cool stuff indeed. Cesaro and Fernando gets back up with the masked man diving into the Swing. A Backstabber breaks up the Neutralizer but Jimmy kicks Big E. down, allowing E. to hit the Big Ending on Cesaro. Jimmy nails the Superfly Splash on Cesaro for the pin at 4:53. Well that was….short.

Rating: C. Total insanity here with nothing resembling structure. That being said, what else can you ask for in a match like this? The fourway match on Sunday is going to be nothing but a big spotfest so why not just have the half sized version here? That Tower of Doom was cool stuff though and one big spot is more than enough in a five minute match.

We go live to Axxess with Byron Saxton and Renee Young. After talking about all the autographs that will be signed there, we go to a clip from ESPN on Monday where Brock Lesnar officially announced that he re-signed with WWE.

Long video on Reigns vs. Lesnar with Reigns saying he has to rise to the occasion and beat his biggest test.

Another video on the Intercontinental Title ladder match but with a different focus, as it looks back at some classics for the title at Wrestlemania. Some of the other ladder matches get a focus as well.

We look back at AJ and Paige brawling on Monday after the Bellas got under their skin.

We get a cool video of Rusev talking about how he’s broken Cena and how it means he’s broken America. By contrast, Cena promises to fight back for America and we see him getting a lot more intense to get the rematch at Wrestlemania, only to get laid out again on Raw.

Video on Rollins vs. Orton which focuses on Orton being the future ten years ago and Rollins being today’s future. Unfortunately it also talks about Orton infiltrating the Authority and beating Rollins down. It didn’t make sense then, it didn’t make sense when he explained it, and it doesn’t make sense now.

Here’s AJ for the big showdown with Paige. She says we’ve seen her as everything from the GM to everyone’s girlfriend to the longest reigning Divas Champion of all time. Paige and AJ both love being Divas Champion but at Wrestlemania, AJ is going to stand up to the Bellas and give them what they deserve. The question is whether AJ will be doing it alone.

Cue Paige who says AJ can’t just skip past what happened on Raw. It’s been almost a year since Paige debuted and took the Divas Title from AJ, which is why AJ doesn’t want her to have it back. AJ says she gets what she wants and she knows Paige is out of her mind too. At Wrestlemania, they can’t let the Kardashians win. They shake hands but here are the Bellas with a rebuttal.

Nikki calls them the compulsive liar and the backstabber but AJ’s ability to make everyone believe her doesn’t work on the Bellas. AJ doesn’t seem to care but Nikki says Brock Lesnar has worked more days in the last year than AJ has. Nikki has been running the division for a year and the two girls in the ring are just like every other girl in the back. “Who doesn’t want to be a Bella?” Paige: “Who wants to be a D-list celebrity and a failed actress?” Paige says they like being the freaks and geeks and the girls that beat the Bellas at Wrestlemania. The Bellas are ready for Sunday. Good promo, but why isn’t the title on the line?

Video on HHH’s rise to the top of WWE and how he’s come to dominate the company. Sting on the other hand is the face of WCW and the one guy that has never been in WWE, making it a huge dream match. I really wish they had decided on the story. It seemed like a rehash of WCW vs. WWE but the interesting story is that HHH and the Authority can’t use their bullying tactics on Sting because he’s the one guy pure enough and a big enough legend for it to have no effect. Sting tried to get away from the WCW thing and even called it ridiculous, but Stephanie decided that’s what it should be about and she runs this place right?

The next recap is on Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt, with Undertaker finally coming off a loss at Wrestlemania and Bray wanting to replace him as the new face of fear. This is a really easy story but Bryan can only say the same thing so many times without Undertaker showing up. That same problem has plagued this show in multiple matches.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry vs. Seth Rollins/Bray Wyatt/Big Show/Kane

Time for the token main event to make it clear that we’re watching a wrestling show. Isn’t Wyatt as part of the Authority kind of against what his character stands for? Reigns shoves Rollins around to start and explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. He adds eight more clotheslines in the corner and a nice tilt-a-whirl slam for no cover as Rollins is in early trouble.

Wyatt comes in but eats a right hand as well and gets Stunned over the top rope. Reigns brings back the Apron Kick and it’s all good guys so far. Off to Kane, who I guess is supposed to be more intimidating. He charges into Reigns’ boot in the corner and a middle rope clothesline gets two so it’s off to Big Show.

Henry wants in and gets the tag, giving us the battle of the giants. As expected, this goes badly for Henry and the heels stomp away on the fallen strongman. He looks like a fat turtle on the mat. Back to Kane for more stomping and the tall men take turns chopping Henry down. A superkick stops Mark’s comeback and we take a break.

Back with Cena coming in to clean house but Bray does his flying body block to put him down. The giants take turns on Cena this time as the dueling chants start up. Wyatt gets in a cheap shot as Rollins comes in to keep the bad guys in control. John wins a slugout with Rollins but Seth flips out of the AA and kicks Cena down again. The backsplash hits but a second attempt misses for Bray.

Rollins breaks up another tag attempt with a sleeper and jumps on Cena’s back for good measure. That’s fine with Cena as he drives Rollins into the corner, only to get caught with a Blockbuster for two. Big Show comes in (Big Show vs. Cena!) but misses the Vader Bomb, meaning it’s already back to Rollins. He doesn’t have the same luck this time as Cena backdrops him to the floor and it’s hot tag to Bryan.

Things speed way up and Bryan hits the top rope hurricanrana, followed by the YES Kick. He has to go after the Stooges though and Rollins gets in a kick of his own. Time for more Big Show but Reigns comes in with the Superman Punch. Sister Abigail is countered with a spear and Kane gets one as well. Henry and Reigns splash Show in the corner and the AA sets up the running knee to pin Big Show at 19:31.

Rating: D+. This was long, dull and completely unimportant as the only people in the same Wrestlemania match were Kane, Big Show and Henry who aren’t even on the main show anymore. Like I said, this was total filler and I’m really not a fan of having a match just to waste time. They did a decent job of making Reigns look good, but does beating up Kane and Big Show really mean much at this point?

Overall Rating: C. Yeah whatever. This is one of the shows I dread every year because it’s just a big commercial for Sunday and much more for people who aren’t watching the last few weeks. The wrestling here was just to remind us that it was a wrestling show and somehow I wound up liking the Divas stuff more than anything else, despite the match at Sunday not even being for the title. Dull show but that’s a tradition for this episode.

Results

Jimmy Uso b. Cesaro, Big E. and Fernando – Superfly Splash to Cesaro

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Mark Henry/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins/Bray Wyatt – Running knee to Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: March 19, 2015
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

With ten days to go before Wrestlemania, it’s time for the hard sell to the biggest show of the year. Given the recent trends on Smackdown, this show is going to be built around the Intercontinental Title match, which has gone from a huge match to everyone trying to one up each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Brock’s sitdown interview on Raw, talking about how he likes to hurt people and saying he’ll be WWE Champion if he stays or not. They better have a plan if they keep the belt on him.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going. Before he can get past “Heyman and Lesnar think they can intimidate me”, Mark Henry comes out to interrupt. Henry came out here last week to see what Reigns had, and that’s what Reigns did. Naturally we have a clip of what happened because just telling us what happened would be too simple. Instead, let’s show a minute long video of a beating. Based on that, Henry is putting all his money on Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania, because Reigns can and will beat him.

Cue the Authority with Kane asking when Mark Henry became the World’s Biggest Self Help Guru. Rollins holds up the briefcase and ominously says that anything can happen at Wrestlemania. There won’t be any Randy Orton tonight because the best security team has locked every door and blocked every entrance. Of course that’s just for Orton’s protection, because why would Rollins be scared of him? As for tonight though, Rollins thinks he needs a Wrestlemania tuneup. Therefore, tonight it’s Reigns/Henry vs. Kane/Rollins. Kane: “Believe in the Authority.”

Tatsumi Fujinami is going into the Hall of Fame. I know he’s a legend, but they’re not exactly knocking this class out of the park outside of Savage.

Brie Bella vs. Paige

AJ and Nikki are on commentary because we need a five man booth. Paige spears Brie through the ropes to start and pounds her on the announcers’ table. AJ: “I taught her how to slap.” Back in and Brie gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick before we hit the chinlock forty seconds into the match.

A clothesline gets two and we’re on the second chinlock less than ninety seconds in. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down before Brie hits the running knee against the ropes. She lays back on Paige for the cover and gets rolled up for a pin at 2:28. The match wasn’t two and a half minutes long and it had two chinlocks. How can this woman be married to Daniel Bryan and not be better than that by osmosis?

Recap of Seth vs. Orton on Monday with Sting making the big save. That really was an awesome moment and the best thing Sting has done since debuting.

Noble and Mercury tell security to keep an entrance open. They aren’t pleased when they’re not called sir.

Gauntlet Match

The participants are all of Barrett’s challengers and we start with Ambrose vs. Stardust. Dean slugs away to start and Stardust bails out to the floor. The rebound clothesline connects but Stardust gets two off a Disaster Kick. A release front suplex drops Dean again and Barrett is watching from the back. Stardust tries a sunset flip but Dean drops down on him ala British Bulldog vs. Bret for the pin at 2:18.

Stardust, ever the nice guy, jumps Dean after the match and sends him shoulder first into the post twice in a row. R-Truth is in third and beats up Stardust, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 3:02 total. Harper is in fourth with an inset interview talking about how they took his freedom away. Now he’s using you to set them all free. He’s been talking to Bray again hasn’t he?

Back from a break with Dean hammering away in the battle of undershirts and jeans. Harper goes after the bad arm to take over and we hit the chinlock. Notice that it’s one instead of two and we’re over five minutes in. Dean is sent face first into the buckle and gets locked in a crossface. Back up and Dean sends him to the floor, setting up the running standing elbow drop.

The discus lariat is countered into a rollup for two and it’s back to the crossface. When all else fails, Dean bites the hand to escape and slugs away. The running dropkick against the ropes and la majistral get two for Dean but he eats a superkick, only to knock him into the ropes for the rebound clothesline to drop both guys. Back up and Dirty Deeds is countered into the discus lariat and the sitout powerbomb is enough for the pin at 12:50 total.

Daniel Bryan is in fifth and starts with Harper after a break. During said break, Mercury and Noble yelling at security guards. They check someone’s credentials and let him in for a scene that doesn’t seem to mean anything. Back in the arena with Bryan wrapping Harper’s knee around the post a few times before firing off the kicks. He even gets Harper up for the full surfboard and lifts him up for a YES chant.

More YES Kicks have Harper in trouble so he picks Bryan up and throws him out to the floor. Luke slows things down with a headlock but Bryan knee crushes his way to freedom. That’s fine with Harper as he just punches Bryan in the face to put him down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bryan goes right back to the knee. A headscissors takes Harper to the floor and there’s the Flying Goat for good measure.

Back in again and we get more YES Kicks but the big one is countered into the half nelson suplex for two. The discus lariat is kicked away but the left arm version blasts Bryan for another near fall. Luke is getting frustrated but Bryan helps him out by tripping the leg and putting on something like a heel hook for the submission at 25:33 total.

That only leaves Dolph Ziggler in sixth and we take another break before the bell. They lock up to start until Bryan takes him into the corner for more kicks. Ziggler goes a bit more conventional with right hands to the head but misses a Stinger splash. Bryan busts out a top rope hurricanrana but Dolph rolls through into a sunset flip for two. Both try cross bodies and both get knocked to the mat as we take another break.

Back again with Bryan working on the shoulder after sending him into the post while we were away. Daniel gets crotched on top but he counters a superplex attempt by crotching Ziggler right back. Dolph keeps up the countering by reversing the belly to back superplex into a cross body for two more. Bryan responds by kicking him in the face for the same as the fans (or at least the canned noise) are way into this. The running knee is blocked by a superkick but he can’t follow up. The YES Lock goes on in the middle of the ring but Ziggler rolls out, ducks a big kick and grabs the Zig Zag for the pin at 27:36.

Rating: B+. It took some time to get going but the Bryan vs. Ziggler stuff was awesome. I can see those two building a roof on Levi’s Stadium just so they could blow it off at Wrestlemania, but instead they’re just throwing everyone into a ladder match. Really good and long match here, especially once they stopped with the quick eliminations.

Post match Barrett comes in and talks about a code, only to nail Dolph in the face. Bryan gets up and takes the microphone to the face. Both guys get Bull Hammers as well.

We look at Bray’s promo from Monday.

LL Cool J video. People still care about him right?

The Divas give their predictions on AJ/Paige vs. the Bellas. As expected, the decision is split. This is giving them a chance I suppose?

Recap of the Cena/Rusev contract signing from Monday.

Another bit with the security.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya vs. El Torito/Los Matadores

Interspecies match. Well of course it is. Cesaro runs Diego over for two to start but a dropkick sends him into the corner. Off to Natalya vs. Torito for some pelvic thrusting, meaning Kidd tags himself in to face Fernando. Kidd takes it outside and trips Fernando up to send him face first into the apron. Back in and the hot tag brings in Diego with a springboard shot to the head as everything breaks down. Los Matadores dive onto the champs, leaving us with Natalya vs. Torito for the featured part of the match. Torito armdrags her down but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. We’re ten days from Wrestlemania and this is what we’re seeing from the Tag Team Champions. I mean……dang man. The best we can get is an unfunny idea of woman vs. bull, because there are still people out there that think it’s really a bull? Who could speak English? This kind of stuff is absurd and makes me hate this show more and more every time.

Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Roman Reigns/Mark Henry

And there’s no Henry as we cut to the back and see him out cold. Rollins brings out a bunch of security to have his back. Maybe they’re Noble and Mercury’s students. Kane starts for his team and Mercury offers a trip, allowing the Big Bald to score with a boot to the face. Off to Rollins as the fans chant for Randy. Not the #1 contender and future main eventer mind you, but a guy not here.

Seth whips Reigns into a side slam for two and the bad looking running DDT gets the same. Rollins comes back in for some slow shots to the back and something like a downward spiral into the middle buckle. We’re just waiting for Orotn at this point and it’s showing badly. Roman fights back with a forearm to Kane, followed by the tilt-a-whirl slam to Rollins. The Authority regroups but Rollins dives into a Superman Punch and the spear ends Kane at 5:07.

Rating: D. This match summed up the major problem with Roman Reigns: he could have been any given upper level guy and the match would have been the exact same thing. This was five minutes of waiting around for Orton to come out because that’s the story we’re seeing. Can you imagine that happening to Steve Austin or Daniel Bryan? No, because those guys commanded the audience’s attention whenever they were on screen. Reigns is just another guy here and it’s very clear that he isn’t someone the fans are ready to cheer as the new top man.

Rollins throws a fit and here’s Orton (in wrestling gear for no logical reason) to beat up the security. Noble and Mercury take RKOs, allowing Rollins to escape to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. That Reigns match really told you everything you needed to know about this Wrestlemania season. The main feuds have little heat and the whole show is built around Undertaker, Sting and Lesnar barely appearing or not saying anything. Combine that with the fans just not being interested in Reigns at the moment (and again, a lot of that isn’t on him) and this is coming off as a pretty weak year.

As for the show, the Intercontinental Title match made for a good performance but that’s not what we’re getting at Wrestlemania. The Divas did their usual stuff, the comedy wasn’t funny, and the main event was your standard scene with someone AMAZINGLY making it past security to get into the building. This felt like any given Thursday in June, not the next to last Smackdown before Wrestlemania.

Results

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler won a gauntlet match last eliminating Daniel Bryan

Natalya/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. El Torito/Los Matadores – Powerbomb to Torito

Roman Reigns/Mark Henry b. Kane/Seth Rollins – Spear to Kane

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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It’s been a week since the last episode of Monday Night Raw and I’m still somewhat annoyed at what I sat through last week. I try to do these a bit sooner but I needed some extra time to let this one get out of my mind before I rant on it all over again. I’m going to try to focus on the good things this time and give the show a fairer look as the show made me so mad last week that I wasn’t able to focus on things like I should have. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, let’s establish something. With four episodes to go before Wrestlemania, every single episode of this show should be designed to make me want to watch Wrestlemania and little else. The show hasn’t had a great build to this point and

Rollins and the Stooges opened the show with the former calling out Jon Stewart, who is on his way to the arena. This brought out Reigns, but Rollins mentioned a bunch of internet reports and referenced people like Wiz Khalifa (performing next week), Michael Jordan (became a billionaire last week) and Mark Henry (rumored to return last week but didn’t). I’m really not sure what the point of this was but it really didn’t do much.

Seth implied he was going to cash in at Wrestlemania or the night after on Raw but got punched in the mouth instead. Like most other things on this show, there really wasn’t much to it and it really didn’t make me care about anyone involved. Basically it set up the Stewart appearance and established that Reigns was in the building. Not much here.

Post break Orton yelled at the Stooges for letting that happen to Rollins and suggested Rollins vs. Reigns tonight. Again, this is holding the viewers’ hand and walking them through every single thing instead of just throwing up a graphic and saving five minutes.

Dean Ambrose beat Bad News Barrett with Dirty Deeds. This involved more shenanigans with the Intercontinental Title and helped set up the ladder match. This is another big deal at the moment and I seem to be on the opposite side of most people. Here’s the thing: yes it’s doing something with the Intercontinental Title, but I still don’t like it. The same title match could be set up so easily without having the champion lose all the time. Instead, he keeps losing every match he’s in and the title is literally handed around as a prize.

You know what really brought this angle down for me? The quick promo Ambrose gave on the snowed out Raw where he talked about wanting to make the title mean something. This has done the opposite of that and turned the title into a comedy prop. It’s true that this is an upgrade over what the title has been for years now, but it could so easily be done better that it drives me crazy.

Miz debuted the commercial he stole from Mizdow. Of course it was a comedy bit with Miz implying he had erectile dysfunction and included quotes from Miz completely out of context. We’ll ignore the company filming Miz’s parts before he agreed to be in them for the sake of comedy. Of course everyone laughed and Miz blamed Mizdow, but the big eruption didn’t happen yet. I’m still not sure what happens at Wrestlemania though as Mizdow throwing out Miz and then getting thrown out kind of defeats the purpose.

Bray Wyatt lit a casket on fire. If Undertaker isn’t going to show up until Wrestlemania, Bray has to do more than just talk so this is the smartest thing he can do.

Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya b. Naomi/the Usos to continue this feud. I’m hoping we get some fresh challengers for the champs soon.

Now we get to the segment that ruined this show for me. John Cena came out and said he wanted to face Rusev for the title again at Wrestlemania. He wants to bring it back to America, but if Rusev won’t accept the challenge, maybe he’ll enter the Andre the Giant battle royal. This part was fine. Far fetched, but fine.

Then Stephanie came out and right away I saw a red flag. Here’s the problem: she has nothing to do with this story. Nothing. Why was she out here? No one mentioned her name and she hasn’t had any direct connection with Cena or Rusev in weeks if not months, but here she was anyway.

So anyway she said that Cena isn’t allowed to just decide what match he’s in (Cena: “That’s what people do in a battle royal.”), didn’t understand a Murder’s Row reference, and started talking about being Andre the Giant’s friend. She pulled up a picture of her sitting on Andre’s knee at the first Wrestlemania and said Cena wasn’t going to disrespect his memory like this. This is about Wrestlemania, which is far bigger than John Cena. John needs to think about what he’ll do without WWE, not the other way around.

This brings up the obvious question: WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? How did we go from Cena wanting to fight Rusev for the US Title to Stephanie and Andre the Giant in the span of five minutes? This segment felt like nothing more than a way to get Stephanie on the show and let her rip Cena’s balls off because that’s what her character does anymore.

It didn’t have anything to do with Wrestlemania because no one believes Cena isn’t going to fight Rusev again, and as Cena said, EVERYONE JUST ENTERS THE BATTLE ROYAL. Stephanie said something about Cena not respecting Andre’s legacy, which implies that Cena isn’t important. Isn’t this the same Cena that the Authority sucked up to for weeks on end a while back? The whole speech made no sense and was even worse live than recapping it here.

But then, something happened to make it feel a lot better. Curtis Axel, now a full on Hogan tribute character, to say he might be the next John Cena and could win the battle royal. Stephanie makes Cena vs. Axel so Cena can prove himself or something, but the Rusev stuff is so far gone by now that it doesn’t matter. Cena squashed him in two minutes. Axel was great, but there was no saving this segment. Rusev came out and said no so Cole implied Cena won’t be at Wrestlemania.

“Yes you too can see Wrestlemania for just $10 on the WWE Network! John Cena! Daniel Bryan! These are just some of the people who might not be on the show!” I’m sure so many people are going to stick around to see if their favorites might be on the show to give you your money. Or maybe Stephanie will tell us what she did in fourth grade! That’s a crowd for sure.

HHH came out and talked about how Sting was given a chance to leave without pain but he chose to fight instead. Booker T. was called into the ring, said no one could control Sting including HHH, and got fired. He went to leave but HHH hired him back because he wanted to show off his control. I’m still not 100% clear on what this feud is about, but Sting better win at Wrestlemania or the entire arena is going to go flat quick.

Paige vs. Nikki Bella got big match intros and lasted all of seven minutes. Of course half of that was in a commercial and the match ended with a DQ, but that’s more of a chance than they usually get. The big deal here was AJ returned to save Paige, setting up a tag match at Wrestlemania.

The other big bit of the night was Jon Stewart coming out to face off with Seth Rollins. They knocked this out of the park with Stewart giving one of, if not the best celebrity appearance ever. You can tell he’s a big WWE fan and knew what he was talking about as he ripped into Rollins. The big line here though, and one that seemed to be planting seeds for later, was Stewart asking why the Authority isn’t putting Rollins in the main event of Wrestlemania if they’re all behind him. The brawl broke out and Orton offered a distraction so Stewart could kick Rollins low and leave. This was exactly what it needed to be and the highlight of the show.

Daniel Bryan beat Luke Harper in a quick match. More belt shenanigans followed and ended with Ziggler taking the belt.

Alundra Blayze is going to the Hall of Fame. That’s another name on the list of WOW returns.

Orton promised to have Rollins’ back tonight but Big Show and Kane told him to stay out. I still have no idea what they’re waiting on with this story.

Heyman came out and said Lesnar was tough and Reigns couldn’t beat him. There are only so many ways Heyman can say the exact same thing before it stops working. Lesnar needs to show up already so we can mix the story up a bit.

The main event was a big standard show closing fight with Rollins pinning Reigns. Yeah this happened, for reasons that I still do not understand. Yeah apparently the idea to have Reigns look like he can beat the unbeatable Lesnar is to have him lose to someone who doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match right now. Orton tripped Reigns up for the loss, but it’s still a stupid idea.

BUT WAIT, the masses say, because Reigns hit a great looking dive onto the Authority and then speared Rollins out of the air to end the show. This felt like a big fireworks show at a baseball stadium after the home team loses a close game. Yeah it may look cool, but it comes right after your soul gets ripped out. Tell me: why did Reigns need to lose this match? What good does that do anyone? Just saying “he didn’t need to win it” isn’t a good enough answer, because winning doesn’t mean much for him, but losing it makes him look weak going into the title match. These are the little things that are just done that drive me crazy.

Overall Raw felt like it had no idea what its goal was. The problem with that is there should be no doubt as to what the goal is right now. The goal should be Wrestlemania and making the fans want to see it. Instead, it feels like the goal is to cram in every single thing they can and hope that someone cares about some of it.

As good as Stewart’s appearance was, it really was just a good version of the usual guest stars schtick. I get why they did it because he’s the biggest name they’ve had on here in years, but it still doesn’t make me care about Wrestlemania any more than I already did. This company needs to tighten things up by about fourteen notches, because this Wrestlemania build has been a misguided disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I’ve been wanting to do this one for awhile.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-thing-call-nxt/34244/

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 2, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re one step closer to Wrestlemania this week and the big event coming out of last week is Randy Orton not attacking Seth Rollins as everyone expected him to at the end of the show. That would seem to be a layup for a match at Wrestlemania but you never can tell around this company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and the Stooges to get things going. Before he can say anything though, we get a clip of him appearing on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last Thursday. Stewart is on his way here so Rollins suggests that he beg for forgiveness now and turn around. This isn’t like Lawler vs. Kauffman because unlike the Daily Show, every single person in this arena paid to see him tonight.

Cue Roman Reigns, who tells Rollins to keep talking because he wanted to hear what it sounded like to hear the fans tell Seth that he sucks. Rollins says he’s worth more than Michael Jordan because he can out work and out talk anyone, including Wiz Khalifa. He can even out eat Mark Henry. Khalifa is scheduled to perform next week and Henry is rumored to be here tonight so that sounds like an internet newsletter come to life.

Rollins doesn’t think Reigns can beat Brock Lesnar, but he can beat both Lesnar and Reigns. Roman asks if Rollins is man enough to make the main event of Wrestlemania a triple threat match as the fans chant for Punk. Rollins thinks it’s smarter to cash in on the winner of the match, or maybe do it the next night. Or maybe just cash in when no one is expecting it. Or maybe Reigns should just punch him in the mouth right now, which is what he does. The Stooges are laid out and Reigns stands on the Money in the Bank briefcase, but somehow that still doesn’t make me care about him.

Post break, Rollins yells at the Stooges for letting him get hit in the mouth. Randy Orton pops up and says the same thing. He thinks Rollins should demand a match with Reigns tonight to prove he can out talk Jon Stewart and out wrestle Roman Reigns as well. Rollins says he can out wrestle anyone on the roster, which doesn’t sit well with Orton. Dang they were getting close to not having a main event set up. I’m glad these coincidences just happened to take place at complete random.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title with R-Truth on commentary. Ambrose stomps away in the corner to start as Cole brings up the multi-man ladder match for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Truth is officially announced for the match as Ambrose stomps away at the ribs and puts on a cross leg face rip. A bulldog sets up the standing elbow drop but Barrett crotches him to take over. The champ boots him out to the floor and holds up his title as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose fighting out of a chinlock but Barrett goes outside to yell at Truth for being a thief. Ambrose hits a suicide dive to take Barrett down though and hits the running standing elbow off the apron. This allows Truth to comically sneak over and steal the title belt because this is now a children’s comedy. Winds of Change plants Ambrose as Luke Harper comes up and takes the belt from Truth. The distraction lets Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds for the pin on Barrett at 9:23.

Rating: D. I have nothing left. Just nothing.

We recap Miz stealing Mizdow’s spot in a commercial last week on Smackdown.

Most of the midcard is in the back when Miz asks for silence. He calls Mizdow borderline worthless before giving us the world premiere of the new commercial. Mizdow tries to tell Miz something but Miz cuts him off and mentions a bunch of actors. As expected, it’s for an erectile dysfunction pill and has Mizdow involved with the good looking women. Back live and Mizdow can’t control his laughter. Neither can the rest of the people in the room.

Miz yells at everyone and says his little general has plenty of bullets. This is all Mizdow’s fault of course and Miz slaps him, again setting Mizdow off to a big reaction but once again he backs down. Mizdow almost has to eliminate him from the battle royal, but does it really matter is Mizdow doesn’t win the thing?

Here’s Bray Wyatt to ask if Undertaker is still the heart of fear. He wants Undertaker to come out and see him because Bray has built his own casket. Everything comes at a price though and Bray pulls out a gasoline can. He’s always had a fascination with fire because it has no prejudice and no feelings, just like him. No one can hide from him because everything burns, including Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He pours the gas on the casket and lights it on fire before shouting to find him. Like most Bray stuff, it makes just enough sense to get the idea across without being able to understand it.

Natalya/Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos/Naomi

Genders have to match here. Jey and Kidd get things going but the champs take over with a quick double team. A Samoan drop puts Cesaro down but he bails to the floor, setting up a tag to the women. Naomi pops Natalya in the face and starts a quick pinfall reversal sequence, only to have Naomi kick Natalya in the ribs.

Naomi doesn’t buy a leg injury from Natalya and sunset flips her for two, only to have it quickly go back to Jimmy and Kidd. A Whisper in the Wind drops Kidd but he dives away from a double superkick and tags Natalya. The distraction lets Natalya get a rollup pin at 2:54. Didn’t we see this EXACT same story last month but with the titles switched? Now I’m supposed to want to see it at Wrestlemania?

Kidd and Natalya almost get in a fight but they hug it out.

Here’s John Cena with something to say after Rusev turned down his request for a rematch last week. He says this is one of those rare occasions where his detractors are having a good time because not only did Rusev beat him in their first match but his rematch was turned down. Cena is going to get his rematch and is going to bring the title back home to America. Rusev is a marked man and he’s going to lose that title at Wrestlemania. If he won’t defend it though, maybe he could just enter the Andre battle royal.

Oh screw it Stephanie comes out with that smug look on her face. She asks when do people just announce what match they’re in. Cena: “That’s what everyone does in the battle royal.” Stephanie doesn’t get the term Murderer’s Row (famous baseball lineup, means a great talent pool) and brings up a picture of her sitting on Andre’s knee after the first Wrestlemania.

She says Cena can’t disparage Andre’s legacy (what is she even talking about?) but Cena cuts her off and says this is about Wrestlemania. He says she won’t leave him off Wrestlemania so she goes into full on evil Stephanie mode and says WWE is bigger than any star it’s ever had. The question is what will Cena do without WWE, not the other way around.

Cue Curtis Axel of all people who says he’s already deserving a spot in the main event so he should win the battle royal too. A LOUD Axelmania chant starts up and Stephanie thinks he may be the next John Cena. Stephanie makes a match right now, but stops to say Cena can only get his match with Rusev by changing his mind. Axel: “WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN AXELMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU???” He rips the shirt off and Cena looks stunned. Cena gives him one chance to leave before pain comes to him.

John Cena vs. Curtis Axel

The bell rings after the break and Axel does Hogan poses. Cena stares a hole in the back of Axel’s head, hits some clotheslines, the AA and the STF for the submission at 2:02.

Post match Rusev comes out and again says no. Cole calls this humiliating because he doesn’t know the meaning of basic English words. Cole: “We could be coming up on the first Wrestlemania with no John Cena.” Me: “Oh screw off.”

Arn Anderson and Michael Hayes talk about Sting’s career and how great he really was. This lasts all of ten seconds.

Here’s HHH to talk about coming to this company twenty years ago. Now he’s the COO and a thirteen time World Champion. Eight days ago he offered Sting a chance to be immortal, but now he has the chance to make it as if Sting never existed. But why didn’t Sting come here before? HHH invites Booker T. into the ring because Booker recently said HHH politiced Sting from ever coming to the company. Why does he think that? That makes Booker sound like one of those internet fans that think they know the ins and outs of the business when they don’t know a thing.

Booker says no one has ever been able to control Sting and now HHH gets to deal with him at Wrestlemania. HHH thanks him for the opinion and then fires him. Booker goes to leave but HHH says he’s changed his mind. That was just an example of the control he has because he’s been handed the chance to end the last vestige of WCW and that’s what he’ll do. I can’t believe they’re STILL talking about WCW. That company has been out of business longer than it was in business and WWE is still bragging about defeating them.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki is defending again in a rematch from Fast Lane. We even get Big Match Intros. Paige knocks her around to start but Nikki bails to the floor to avoid the PTO. A minute in and we hit the break. Back with Nikki cranking on the arms and Cole saying the action before the break was, and I quote (see what I did there?), fast and furious. Paige fights up but walks into a weak spinebuster for two.

We get the third mention of Total Divas in about the third minute of, ahem, action. A double clothesline puts both girls down and of course that one clothesline gets us to even after Paige has been in trouble for a few minutes. Paige hits three more clotheslines and a running dropkick for two. The PTO is loaded up again but Paige has to nail Brie. Nikki misses her forearm and eats a superkick, setting up the PTO. Cue Brie for the DQ at 6:46.

Rating: D. GIVE THEM A CHANCE! YOU MIGHT GET A FIVE MINUTE MATCH NEXT TIME! Yeah this was another obvious ending to set up the obvious return to set up the obvious “dream” tag match at Wrestlemania so the Bellas can show how good they really are and AJ can take a loss and be humiliated for calling out Stephanie on her nonsense. But hey, why bother entertaining when you can get one up on AJ in front of the dozens of people who are going to pay for this disaster of a Wrestlemania?

AJ runs in for the save and attacks the Bellas as we have new Super Best Friends.

Post break, AJ and Paige kind of agree to be friends to fight the Bellas.

It’s time for the Daily Show with Seth Rollins, complete with a copy of the Daily Show’s intro. Rollins takes some shots at Stewart’s Oscar hosting last year (it was seven years ago) and at his movie Rosewater for not doing so well as the Stooges applaud in the background. Cue the real Stewart to rips on the Curb Stomp being a New Jersey greeting instead of something to fear. He remembers the wrestlers that earned their spots like Sammartino and Monsoon.

Rollins never went up against the establishment like Austin or fought through injuries like Undertaker. Seth wants to be the poster boy, but just like posters, they get taken down when people are tired of them. If the Authority really cared about him, why isn’t he in the main event at Wrestlemania? He’s better on the mic and claims to be better in the ring, but it’s Lesnar vs. Reigns.

Stewart says the briefcase doesn’t belong to Rollins because he was at Money in the Bank and saw what really happened. That’s enough for Rollins as he grabs Stewart by the collar, drawing out Orton for the save, but Stewart kicks Rollins low and escapes on his own. This was one of the best celebrity performances ever in WWE and most of that is due to Stewart clearly being a huge fan. You can’t fake that kind of passion. Well you could, but if you’ve ever seen the Faculty, you know Stewart isn’t that good of an actor.

Post break Stewart leaves quickly to avoid retaliation.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Cole says Bryan isn’t going to Wrestlemania either. Harper starts fast but gets sent face first into the middle buckle. A running dropkick has him in trouble but Luke slams Bryan to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Harper kicking him in the face and hitting a half nelson suplex for two. A rollup gets the same for Bryan before Harper throws him down again. That’s fine with Bryan as he counters into the YES Lock for the win at 6:23.

Rating: D+. The Divas got more time than this match, which may or may not be about Bryan going into the title match at Wrestlemania. Just like the rest of this show, it’s like they have no real idea where the matches are going and we’re less than a month away from the show. Announce the things and let us know what we’re getting.

Barrett comes out to take the belt back, but it’s stolen by Ambrose, Harper, Truth then Harper again with the big man leaving with the belt. Ziggler cuts him off with a superkick though and puts the title on his shoulder. Dolph climbs the ladder with the belt and Bryan does a YES chant on the table.

Alundra Blayze Hall of Fame video. Two notes here. One, this is shocking if you know your history. Two, in the list of great champions over the years, we saw Moolah, Martel, Trish, the Bellas and Lita. Who on earth actually thinks that’s true? I mean, someone say that to me so I can laugh very hard in their face. They actually mention the belt in the trash moment in the video.

Orton yells at Rollins for going after Stewart but promises to have his back if Rollins needs him. Big Show and Kane come up and say they have his back, so Noble says Orton won’t be needed. Randy walks away, saying suit yourself.

Here’s Heyman who says he’s going to shoot from the hip. Yes Brock will be at Wrestlemania. Believe that. He’ll be anywhere he pleases before the title match. He’ll be anywhere he pleases after the title match. He’ll be anywhere he wants as the WWE Champion. Fans like to believe their fantasies, starting with Daniel Bryan having a chance at beating his client.

Reality is that Lesnar would squash him under his boot, so now it’s time for Roman Reigns. Heyman has to switch microphones before he rants about the fans buying into this idea of Reigns. WWE has already bought the confetti and the pyro but it’s a big waste of time.

Last week he said Sammartino, Hogan, Austin, Rock HHH and Cena couldn’t beat Lesnar. Fan: “ANDRE!” Heyman to the fan: “I DIDN’T MENTION HIM BECAUSE HE’S DEAD STUPID!” Of course there’s no Stephanie to defend Andre now because that segment earlier made no sense. Heyman says none of those people disputed a single thing he said last week because it’s all true. At Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to conquer Reigns and maybe he’ll just Ronda Rousey Roman. BELIEVE THAT.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns knocks him around with ease to start and sends Rollins hard into the corner. Seth’s comeback is easily stopped with a knee to the ribs but he catches Reigns with a dropkick. We hit the right hands to the face and Reigns is sent hard into the buckle, but here’s Orton for a distraction as we go to our last break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock for a bit until Roman makes his comeback with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch, allowing Rollins to score with an enziguri for two. Roman fights up again but Noble’s distraction lets Rollins kick him in the face.

A powerbomb from Reigns puts both guys down. They head outside with Big Show getting in a cheap shot but Reigns dives off the apron to take him down. Kane nails him in the ribs with a chair, giving Rollins a near fall back inside. We get yet another comeback from Reigns as he nails a Superman Punch, only to have Orton grab the foot, allowing Rollins to roll up Reigns for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: D+. The #1 contender for the World Title and the man that is supposed to save us from the horrors of Brock Lesnar just got pinned less than a month before the biggest show of the year. I don’t care what he does after the match. That ending is stupid and there was no reason to not just have the big DQ or something like that. My goodness do they want me to watch Wrestlemania or not?

Reigns snaps post match and destroys everyone not named Orton. He hits a huge dive over the top and spears Rollins out of the air as JBL shouts about him being ready. No man. Screw that noise. I’m not buying Reigns as anything when he’s losing less than a month before the big night, screwy finish or not. You don’t do that no matter what, especially when Lesnar isn’t here to set up the stupid match.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I even start? First of all, how do you only have six matches on a three hour plus show with two of them not even breaking three minutes? That’s just unacceptable. Second, they really do seem to be making this stuff up as they go. We’re supposed to believe Cena and Bryan aren’t going to be at the pay per view? That’s your big selling point? “Hey people, come see this show without the biggest stars appearing!” Well they might not. I mean, they DARED to challenge Stephanie.

That’s the next major point: the Authority was all over the place tonight and not a single bit of it made sense. All of a sudden Stephanie is the patron saint of French giants and HHH is spouting off at the mouth about having to control Sting, whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. I can’t get over how bad that Stephanie segment was. How is that supposed to make me want to see Wrestlemania? Cena potentially in the battle royal because he can’t convince Rusev to defend the belt, which he’ll eventually do by going after the Russian flag, which won’t bring up a single mention of Big Show doing the same thing months ago?

The main event continues to be a one sided affair because Lesnar isn’t on TV. Heyman can only say YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM in so many different ways before it stops being entertaining. It’s one of those cases where you can only perform so well with what you’re given and that point has long since passed. Brock and Reigns need to do something face to face again, because the last time was the night after the Royal Rumble.

The Divas’ push comes off as a huge joke as the big chance seems to be a tag match at Wrestlemania and a pairing that we’ve seen before. I don’t really know why this is supposed to be a big match, other than AJ is the one not on Total Divas, which is the real title in this division these days. Give them a chance I guess, but if this is the chance, give them a bus ticket out of the company, because it’s not getting better anytime soon.

I have almost no desire to see Wrestlemania this year and I haven’t had that feeling in a very, very long time. There’s almost nothing on the card that I want to see and somehow it seems to get worse every week. It’s like they have no focus for the card this year other than “Reigns wins and we go from there.” To what? Reigns vs. Big Show? That’s a real possibility and I don’t think I can handle it. Then again, I don’t think I can handle three more episodes like this either.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett – Dirty Deeds

Usos/Naomi b. Natalya/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Rollup to Natalya

John Cena b. Curtis Axel – STF

Paige b. Nikki Bella via DQ when Brie Bella interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – YES Lock

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the Bellas haven’t been treated fairly.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-giving-divas-fighting-chance/34085/