Monday Night Raw – August 18, 2008: Home Schooled

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 18, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 14,957
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is Batista defeated John Cena in one heck of a bragging rights match. That is the kind of match that you do not get to see very often and in theory it should make Batista the #1 contender to the Raw World Title. CM Punk dispatched JBL and is going to need a fresh challenger so let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Here is a rather serious looking Chris Jericho to get things going. He isn’t here to apologize for what happened to Shawn Michaels’ wife last night because the person who should be apologizing is Shawn himself. Shawn is the person who put her in danger, and here is the proof. We see a long recap of the segment, which capped off with Jericho “accidentally” hitting Shawn’s wife in the face.

Back in the arena, the fans are not exactly pleased with Jericho, who says that Shawn could have just sent in a video or something to make his big announcement. Instead he had to come to the ring and do everything in person, which is why his wife got hurt. All Shawn had to do was admit that Jericho was the reason he’s finished and now look what happened. The reality is Shawn has tarnished his reputation and that is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life. Jericho slowly walks out, with commentary not being sure what to make of this. Good stuff here, as Jericho was much more somber and it worked.

Batista vs. Paul Burchill

Batista is coming in with a bad knee. Burchill kicks him in the face to start and Batista actually gets knocked into the corner. A shot to the knee cuts off the comeback attempt but Batista is back with a spear. The spinebuster into the Batista Bomb finishes Burchill quick.

Mike Adamle introduces Primo Colon (Carlito’s brother) as the newest member of the Raw roster but John Cena walks past. Adamle tries to talk to him but Cena walks up to Batista, saying last night was great and the better man won. Batista thanks him for that, but Cena says that was last night. Batista: “All right.”

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Katie Lea

Jillian’s song from Chicago doesn’t make the Peacock cut. Mickie drives Jillian into the corner to start and then takes both of them down at once. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two as we hear about Kelly’s dating tips in an interview. Katie gets Kelly up in an electric chair so Jillian can come in to pull her down in a crash.

The reverse chinlock has Kelly in trouble and Jillian knocks her down for two. Kelly gets some knees up though and the tag brings Mickie back in for some slightly more sophisticated stuff. A neckbreaker gets two on Katie as Jillian makes the save. Mickie and Kelly hit a double dropkick on Jillian, followed by the MickieDT to finish Katie.

Rating: C+. Better than I was expecting here, which granted is mostly due to Mickie carrying things for the team. Jillian is little more than a gimmick and Katie has already peaked. At the same time you have Kelly, who is getting better but still feels like more of a long term project. Granted it’s a project with some upside so there are worse ideas.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Jamie Noble

Noble strikes away to start and hammers away in the corner, only to get caught with the fall away slam. The slow beating is on until the Clothesline From JBL puts Noble out. JBL won’t cover though and instead hits another Clothesline, followed by another clothesline, which is enough for the stoppage.

Here is Mike Adamle for some announcements. First up, tonight’s main event is CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho. Speaking of the Raw World Title, Shane and Stephanie McMahon have told him to make a new announcement: at Unforgiven, there will be a 20 minute Championship Scramble for the title. There can be multiple falls, but the last person to score one will be the official World Heavyweight Champion. Here are the participants: World Champion CM Punk, Kane, JBL, Batista and John Cena. That’s not bad. Not the concept that is, as that’s a cool idea, but rather Adamle getting through this without any major errors.

John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Non-title. Hold on though as here is Cryme Tyme, who steal the Tag Team Titles and run off. DiBiase looks ready to start but Rhodes comes in instead and we take an early break. Back with Rhodes getting in a cheap shot out of the corner, which is enough for a chase around the ring and a tag off to DiBiase. Back in and DiBiase hammers away, setting up a double suplex for two, followed by a dropkick for the same. Rhodes knocks him to the apron and then into the barricade before it’s back to DiBiase.

Cena’s missed charge into the corner lets DiBiase grab a belly to back suplex, setting up a clothesline for two. Cena tries the comeback but DiBiase grabs the arm so Rhodes can drop him again as the numbers advantage continues. A flying shoulder misses for Cena as well as he just can’t keep anything going. DiBiase snaps off a suplex but tries a second, which Cena reverses into one of his own. That’s enough to start the real comeback, with Cena firing off the shoulders into the Shuffle on Rhodes. DiBiase gets knocked to the floor and the STF finishes Rhodes clean.

Rating: C. Yeah not a fan of the Tag Team Champions losing for the second time in three weeks, especially with Cena out there on his own. It also wasn’t a very entertaining match, as it was mostly Cena selling for over ten minutes before coming back with his usual to win. There was no other team other than the champs to take this loss?

Harley Race is here.

We look at Chris Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Shawn Michaels’ wife last night.

Last night, Shawn and his wife Rebecca were going to leave the arena but Shawn stopped to say he was going to come home and comfort his family, because she got punched in the face because of him. And then….and then….and I guess that sums it up.

CM Punk says what Chris Jericho did last night was reprehensible but they deal with people like him in Chicago.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Santino while Kofi Kingston comes out to join commentary. Santino knocks him down for an early two as Kingston wants to know who wears the pants in Glamarella. Brown fights back and hits a quick legdrop but Phoenix gets in the ring to block the Low Down. Brown: “GET TO STEPPIN! I SAID GET TO STEPPIN!” That’s enough for Phoenix to slap Brown in the face for the fast DQ.

Post match Santino goes after Kingston, who knocks him silly with a ram into the announcers’ table.

Classics On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a bikini contest.

Here is Kane to explain why he was carrying around Rey Mysterio’s mask in a bag. He’s been carrying the bag around for a while because it put a smile on his face. Mysterio has not been around for about six weeks, because Kane has never really liked him. Kane calls Mysterio a slithering little slime that hides behind a mask and like a fungus that grows in the marshes of your psyche.

Six weeks ago, he attacked Mysterio but spared his life. Mysterio is alive, but his spirit is broken and dead. We get some evil laughter, which is enough to bring out a limping Batista. The brawl is on but Kane goes after the bag leg and hits a chokeslam to escape. Should be a good hoss fight when we get around to it.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Jericho has Lance Cade with him. The fans are of course behind Punk and Jericho does not like that. They take their time to start until Punk strikes him down for an early two. Punk cranks on both arms but Jericho slips out, only to miss a charge into the post as we take an early break. Back with Punk getting pulled into a chinlock before Jericho bends his back over the knee. That’s broken up with a kick to the head so Jericho pulls him into an abdominal stretch.

Punk fights out again and grabs his own backbreaker for his own two, followed by the corner clothesline. The bulldog is blocked though and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. The Walls go on but Punk reverses into a rollup for two and the escape. Jericho slips out of a GTS attempt and grabs the Walls, sending Punk crawling over to the ropes. Another GTS attempt is countered and Jericho goes up, only to get kneed in the face. The super bulldog leaves both of them down but a quick Cade distraction lets Jericho hit the Codebreaker for the win.

Rating: B-. Well of course Punk, who is already seen as an underdog champion, loses in his hometown with the least amount of interference. It’s nice that there is a little something in there to protect Punk, but this felt like WWE was trying to make him look bad in front of his friends and family (who they made clear were there). The match was pretty good, but the result felt like such annoying business as usual from WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. This was mainly about setting up the major players before the Championship Scramble, even with the champion himself losing in the end. The good thing is that covers a lot of ground and eats up a bunch of time on the show, as there wasn’t much good on the undercard. Unforgiven feels like it’s going to be a one match show, but it’s one of those matches with so much in it that the show should work out. Now just get a little something else for some insurance, as a two match card sounds even better.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 4, 2008: Those Two, And Everything Else

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2008
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

For reasons I still do not want to understand, we’re in the Mike Adamle Era as he is the new GM of the show. Other than that nightmare, we have less than two weeks to go before Summerslam and the real main event from Raw is set as John Cena will face Batista. Other than that, CM Punk still needs an official challenger and we might get that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick note: I did the Saturday Night’s Main Event but it didn’t save properly and was lost. Normally I would redo it but a grand total of nothing happened on the show and I’m not going to waste even more time on such a pathetic excuse for a “special”.

Here is Mike Adamle to get things going. The fans are all over him before he tells a story about a man who worked in a circus like atmosphere and wasn’t very good at his job. He’s talking about Ronald Reagan, who went from being a B list movie star to the Presidency. Reagan acted with a monkey, while Adamle said Jeff Harvey.

There have been people criticizing his work as an ECW commentator and wanting his resignation. That is your right as an American but it isn’t an American that he wants to be in. He wants to be in an America where a 5’9 man can play seven years in the NFL and be a star. As for tonight, how many people would like to see a championship match tonight? Instead, we’ll do three of them, with Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase defending the Tag Team Titles against John Cena/Batista….and here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL knows what it means to make a bad first impression, but now people see him for the success that he is. After bragging about being featured in Fortune Magazine and being a former professional football player, he brings up the World Title match at Summerslam. Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying he should get the title shot instead.

Bickering ensues, but Adamle cuts them off and makes JBL/Jericho vs. CM Punk, where either of them get the title shot at Summerslam if they beat him. If Punk wins, neither gets a title shot. That’s kind of an unfair stipulation, but I had to listen to Adamle talk so there is nothing fair. He’s just not the right pick for this spot and that was even more apparent here.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill, with Katie Lea, is challenging and works on a wristlock to start. Kingston flips him over for two as we hear about Burchill’s rugby career. Some right hands in the corner keep Burchill in trouble but Katie offers a distraction, allowing Burchill to get in a clothesline. We hit something like a seated crossface chickenwing until Kingston fights up and strikes away. A crossbody gives Kingston two and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C+. Hopefully this finishes Burchill as a challenger as it feels like it has been going on for months now. Burchill hasn’t felt like a big time challenger but he keeps going after Kingston. The clean finish gives me some hope though as there is pretty much no reason to keep this going.

Post match the Burchills go after Kingston again, only to be cleared out. Cue Mickie James for her scheduled match with Katie.

Women’s Title: Katie Lea vs. Mickie James

Joined in progress with Mickie striking away, including a dropkick to the floor. Mickie hits a Thesz press off the apron and strikes away before doing the same in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes has Mickie in more trouble and we hit the surfboard. With that broken up, Mickie hits her own neckbreaker for two but Lea’s suplex gets the same. Not that it matters as the MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C. This feud has been going even longer than Kingston vs. Burchill and it’s nice to seemingly have it wrap up. Mickie is in need of a fresh challenger for the title and there aren’t many options around here. Lea is fine enough in the ring but there are only so many people she can face at the moment. For now though, it doesn’t seem to be Mickie and that’s fine.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take Mickie out. Santino Marella approves and mild spanking ensues.

Mike Adamle calls Stephanie McMahon to thank her for the opportunity. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella come in to interrupt because they both want title shots at Summerslam. Adamle says there is only room for one more match so they bicker a bit. Adamle finally cuts them off and makes a tag match between the two of them and Kofi Kingston/Mickie James, winner take all.

Video on John Cena.

Batista is happy to get a shot at the Tag Team Titles but could go for a different partner. He could also go for the World Title shot at Summerslam but if beating John Cena gets him there, so be it.

Layla dances in the ring and we see a clip of her ending things with Jamie Noble (who had made reservations at Waffle House). Cue William Regal to remind us that he is the King Of The Ring but here is Noble to interrupt. The brawl is on but referees break it up.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. Hold on though as Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say that this match has a ten minute time limit. If the match goes to the time limit, it’s a triple threat match at Summerslam for the title. JBL and Jericho argue to start so Punk jumps them, not wanting a triple threat either. A double shoulder drops Punk and Jericho gets sent outside. The fall away slam gives JBL two on Punk an JBL slowly hammers away in the corner.

Jericho manages to send JBL into the steps though and the chinlock has Punk in trouble. Back up and Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled into an abdominal stretch with five minutes left. JBL comes back in and tries to steal the pin on Punk, meaning it’s time for the villains to slug it out. JBL gets sent outside so the Lionsault can give Jericho two. Punk is back up with a springboard clothesline to JBL before sending Jericho into the corner with three minutes left.

Punk’s running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog to drop JBL and the GTS gets two with Jericho making the save. Jericho gets catapulted into JBL for two as we have a minute and a half left. Another GTS attempt is countered into the Walls on Punk with JBL making his own save…and then falling on Punk to steal the pin with one second left.

Rating: C+. This had quite a few different rules and while they might have been more complicated than necessary, at least it clears up the question of who will be getting the title shot. On the other hand, it’s JBL, who is just so boring with everything he does that he drains the life out of everything. Punk should be able to get a nice title defense, but dang it is not going to be interesting on the way there.

We get a long recap of Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye and possibly ending his career.

Michaels joins us from San Antonio and says his eye is really banged up. The injury has allowed him to take a break and heal up a bit but he has all kinds of health issues. He has another evaluation two days before Summerslam and he wants to come to the show and announce his decision. If he is allowed to compete, even on a part time basis, he’ll do it, but he’s going to listen to his doctors. Chris Jericho said maybe Shawn should just go home and be with his family….and maybe he should.

Here is Matt Striker to remind us who he is and request the best competition.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Kane powers him away to start and shrugs off a forearm to the back. Kane plants him with a slam, hits the top rope clothesline and finishes with the chokeslam.

Post match Kane grabs the bag he has been carrying around and says he has been in a bad place lately. He looks at the bag and says “he’s not alive, he’s dead.”

Smackdown Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Video on Batista.

John Cena talks about how that video gives him a perspective on Batista, because it makes him know what Batista can do in the ring. As for Mike Adamle, we’ll have to see what happens with his time as the boss, but anyone can see what happens when Cena and Batista face off.

Cena has been overshadowed by Batista more than once and knew that they were going to go head to head at some point. They they both wound up on Raw and he knew it would happen one day. Then a few weeks ago, he punched Batista in the face and knew that one day was going to be at Summerslam. First though, they can become Tag Team Champions. Cena hopes they win. This was the kind of promo that made the match feel so much bigger, which is where Cena tends to shine.

Kelly Kelly comes in to see Mike Adamle to compliment him on everything he has done. She brings up Kane, but Adamle has an idea for him for next week. For now though, she’s going to watch the main event with him.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Batista/John Cena

Cena and Batista are challenging. DiBiase starts with Cena and is quickly knocked down for an early two. Batista comes in to shove Rhodes down and fires off the shoulders in the corner. A missed charge goes into the post though and we take a break. Back with Rhodes working on the arm but Batista powers out again and hands it off to Cena. DiBiase breaks up the FU though and hits a belly to back. The fist drop (ala his dad) has commentary thinking DiBiase is mocking the Five Knuckle Shuffle because these two aren’t very good at times.

Batista does not look impressed as Cena gets double elbowed down for two more. Rhodes grabs a sleeper (from the left for a weird look) and then DiBiase does the same (from the right side, in case you were wondering), only to have Cena reverse into one of his own. That’s broken up as well but Cena walks over and slaps Batista in the face for the tag. A backdrop and spear take DiBiase down and Cena cuts Rhodes off, leaving the Batista Bomb to connect for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. The match itself was fairly dull, but the storytelling with Batista not wanting to do this because he can’t stand Cena, while Cena is always going to want to compete and win because that’s who he is. It made for an interesting dynamic and gives another layer to a match that is pretty much already set up. Other than that, it was a fairly long match with Cena and Batista running through the champions at the end, which is a bit more acceptable when you have a modern day Mega Powers in Cena and Batista.

Batista rather forcefully hands Cena his belt and they slowly hold up the titles. It turns into a pose off and then a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is pretty much Cena/Batista and then everything else, as there is very little that I would want to see otherwise. Adamle is just not interesting, which might be what they’re going for but it’s not making for the most thrilling material. Other than that, you have the World Title stuff which is hardly making me want to see what happens next. Batista and Cena are good stuff, but I’m going to need a lot more than that to sell this side of the Summerslam card.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 21, 2008: Cool For The Summerslam

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So it’s been a bit since I’ve been on these but I might as well at least get through Summerslam. The Great American Bash has wrapped up and the big story is that CM Punk is still the Raw World Champion after going to a double DQ with Batista. At the same time, he is probably also going to have to deal with Kane, who attacked Punk after the match, and John Bradshaw Layfield, who actually beat John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Great American Bash, or at least the main event scene on the Raw side.

Batista is in the production truck and doesn’t like the recap of Kane attacking him.

Opening sequence.

Here is a ticked off Batista to get things going. He planned on coming out here as the new World Heavyweight Champion but then Kane got involved to cost him that title match. Since the McMahons aren’t here now, he’s going to put himself in charge, meaning he’ll be getting a rematch for the title against CM Punk. If anyone has a problem with that….and here is JBL on the Titantron to interrupt.

JBL asks why Batista should get the World Title match when he lost last night. He is entitled to the next World Title shot, but Batista thinks JBL should come out here and discuss that idea. JBL is banged up though and it’s feeling that tonight…so here is CM Punk to interrupt. Punk doesn’t want to hear from JBL right now (JBL is aghast) because he isn’t happy with Kane either.

Punk wanted to prove that he was the better man last night against Batista….so let’s do it again tonight. JBL rants on the Titantron but Batista says cut his mic. Punk is on for the match against Batista, with the title on the line, tonight. There are a bunch of matches to be had out of here and that is certainly one of them.

Jenny McCarthy welcomes us to join her in the ring to fight autism on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh dear.

Here is Shawn Michaels……’ music, with Lance Cade coming out instead. Cade used to look up to him as his mentor, but then things changed. He wants Shawn out here right now to have some words but here is Paul London instead.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

London slugs away to start and jumps over him in the corner but Cade is right back with a backbreaker. London’s back gets bent over Cade’s knee for a bit before Cade sends him ribs first into the post. The sitout Rock Bottom spinebuster finishes London in a hurry to complete what was more or less a squash.

Post match Cade says that since Michaels won’t come out here, we’ll have Chris Jericho come out instead. Jericho says Michaels isn’t coming out tonight and he won’t be coming back. We look at Jericho beating Michaels the previous night via stoppage due to Michaels’ eye being destroyed, complete with the big dramatic music.

Back in the ring, Jericho talks about how Michaels knew how bad things were going to be and got in the ring anyway because he had to take another chance. Jericho talks about all of Michaels’ injuries, including a detached retina, which means he will never be able to see properly again. The thing is though that when Michaels’ eye closed, Jericho’s opened instead. Michaels never mentored Jericho, and now he is happy with what he did last night. The lack of remorse here was rather good and that has some potential, especially whenever Michaels gets back.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly slips behind her to start and sweeps the leg but a rollup is easily blocked. Phoenix muscles her up for a slam and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly’s enziguri his shoulder, setting up the screaming headscissors. The handspring elbow is loaded up and quickly blocked though, setting up the Glam Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was more about Kelly getting in some offense instead of being wrecked by Beth, which was quite the surprise. Beth already beat Santino Marella last week so it is clear that she is in for something big, though Kelly certainly got a focus here. She has a lot of the tools already and if she can get the in-ring aspect down, it could go rather well for her.

Here is Jim Duggan for a chat. He isn’t going to take up much time, but he is thinking about hanging up his boots. Last week, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes said this was a game for young men, and maybe his time has passed by. He wanted to come out here and say thank you, but Jerry Lawler cuts him off. There is no age limit around here and Duggan can keep going as long as he wants to. Duggan can do something that Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do: get people to stand up and cheer USA. Duggan seems to like that and says no, he doesn’t want to give it up.

Cue Rhodes and DiBiase, with the latter thinking this is amazing. Just because Lawler likes to date women younger than him, he doesn’t get to explain things. Rhodes says he was two and a half years old when Duggan won the Royal Rumble, but they weren’t even alive when Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman. Lawler demonstrates the slap and DiBiase has to hold Cody back. For now though, they can deal with this later, but watch what’s about to happen.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Cryme Tyme/John Cena

Both Cena and JBL are rather banged up after last night but they start things off….with JBL handing it off to Cody instead. Cena punches him in the face and gets two off the bulldog before stopping to glare at JBL. Gaspard comes in for two off an elbow and a rather hard clothesline in the corner.

It’s off to DiBiase, who is quickly suplexed for two as the one sidedness continues. JTG comes in but gets caught with a cheap shot, which is enough for JBL to come in for a change. The big shoulder drops JTG and it’s back to Cody for the bearhug. That’s broken up due to reasons of it’s Cody doing a bearhug but DiBiase comes in to cut off the tag.

A middle rope double stomp gets two and Cody adds a top rope knee to the ribs. DiBiase drops some elbows on the ribs and grabs a bodyscissors as the villains certainly have a target here. JTG finally fights up and hits a quick dropkick for a breather. Cody comes ni but misses a charge into the post, allowing the tag off to Cena to start the house cleaning. JBL bails through the crowd, leaving Cena to fireman’s carry both Cody and DiBiase at the same time. Cody gets tossed and the FU finishes DiBiase.

Rating: C+. The heat segment on JTG was pretty long but Cena coming in to smash people is always worth a glance. While I could have gone without one of the Tag Team Champions losing, getting pinned by Cena is hardly the end of a career. Cryme Tyme continues to do well as Cena’s friends and that is certainly better than what they had been doing.

Chris Jericho and Lance Cade are going to lave but run into Kane, who still has that mask.

Various celebrities support Jenny McCarthy’s autism charity, which is working with WWE.

Mickie James/Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill/Katie Lea

Mickie knocks Katie into the corner to start so Burchill comes in for some glaring. Kingston high crossbodies him to break that up but Burchill hammers him down rather quickly. The leg cranking goes on for a bit before Kingston is up with a sunset flip for two. The women start brawling on the floor so Burchill breaks it up before ducking Trouble In Paradise, which hits the post. Back in and the Wicked Sister gives Burchill the pin.

Rating: C+. This had some nice high spots from Kingston but it was mainly there for Burchill to get the pin, likely setting up a title match. That could be fine for a one off match, though I’m not sure if Burchill is going to be the biggest threat. He’ll do for now though, even if Lea might not be so equal to James.

Jamie Noble is hitting on Layla when Batista comes in to ask if Noble has seen Kane. That’s a rather rude no, so Batista chokes Noble and says if he sees Kane, let him know that Batista is looking for him.

CM Punk says if he goes down, he’s going down swinging. JBL comes in to say he wants the World Title shot at Summerslam. He threatens to make Punk a transitional champion but Punk points out that he already beat JBL. Glaring ensues.

We look at Chris Jericho damaging Shawn Michaels’ eye again last night. It’s the same footage from earlier.

Here is Santino Marella for an open challenge. Well open to anyone but women that is.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Well there’s a surprise and cue Beth Phoenix to watch. Brown throws him into the corner and there’s a suplex to put him down again. A basement clothesline sets up the Low Down to give Brown the easy pin.

Post match Brown leaves so Phoenix gets in the ring and decks Marella. She wants a fight and they do a standing switch….then they stare at each other and kiss. As it tends to go.

Toby Keith doesn’t like autism, but he does like Jenny McCarty trying to fight autism.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Batista is challenging…and here is Kane before the match gets started. The brawl is on, with Punk running in and getting beaten down as well. After some questions from the referee and the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Punk’s headlock doesn’t last long as Batista kicks him in he face to take over.

Back up and Punk gets in a neckbreaker and kicks away for two. A drop toehold lets Punk take him down and hammer away as the fans don’t seem thrilled so far. Punk fires off some knees to the back and puts on a choke, which is broken up even faster. The Figure Four necklock goes on for a bit before Punk hits a running knee to the face for two more. The running knee into the bulldog gets two but Punk’s springboard clothesline is spinebustered out of the air. Batista fires off the shoulders in the corner and hits the spear, only for JBL to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This really didn’t work and that might be because Punk was on offense for so much of it. Punk beating on Batista is only so easy to believe in the first place and it doesn’t help when he’s already presented as an underdog champion. On top of that, you had the fans waiting on what was likely going to be some kind of run in, so there was only so much reason to get into things here.

Post match John Cena runs in to go after JBL but hits Batista by mistake. Cena and Batista have to be held back and there’s Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t so much about doing anything here but rather about setting the pieces up for later. You can pretty clearly see Batista vs. Cena being set up at the end, which leaves JBL to challenge Punk because we’re that lucky. Other than that we probably have another Jericho vs. Michaels match coming up, which makes for a heck of a top of the card on the Raw side. Not a great show here, but it has set the stage for the good ones later.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2008: Crash TV

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 7, 2008: Hurry Up So They Can Bash

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2008
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s probably not a good sign that I haven’t done one of these in so long that I barely remember what is going on. The big story is CM Punk cashing in Money In The Bank last week on Edge to win the World Heavyweight Championship, bringing a World Title to Raw. We’re also on the way to the Bash and that is going to need a card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Punk winning the title and his first title defense against JBL last week. JBL declaring martial law is not exactly the most interesting idea, and John Cena/Cryme Tyme seem to agree.

Stephanie McMahon asks everyone to pull together in Vince McMahon’s absence.

Here is Vickie Guerrero in the ring to get things going. She is here to protest CM Punk being the World Heavyweight Champion and is not leaving until the title is surrendered to her. An apology is demanded and here is Punk to respond. Vickie yells at him and says Edge is so close to falling apart that he has called off their wedding! Punk says he probably did them a favor and explains the Money In The Bank concept. Maybe Vickie can find someone cute on Smackdown, like the Great Khali! Vickie stands up and slaps him, so Punk wheels her into the corner.

Cue JBL in his limo to interrupt and say Punk’s reign is coming to an end. JBL challenges for the title, saying Vince McMahon would give him the shot. Punk brings up that Vince isn’t here, but John Cena certainly is. Cena mocks JBL for blaming a variety of things on not being champion and doesn’t really want to hear about it. Maybe Cena should listen to Punk, who shakes Cena’s hand.

In reality, there is no one in charge around here, so we need to figure out Punk’s next challenger. Cena thinks he and JBL should have some kind of #1 contenders match, but here is Batista who wants in as well. Batista says Punk deserves the title after last week and also says hi to Vickie, who made him miserable on Smackdown. He feels sorry for her…but nah, because he really can’t stand her.

As for the title, Punk cashed in after Batista took Edge out but JBL cuts Batista off instead. Cena calms things down by suggesting a triple threat #1 contenders match tonight. JBL doesn’t like it so Cena says that means JBL is out entirely. That gets JBL in the triple threat, but now it’s Kane interrupting. He wants in too so Punk thinks we have a fatal four way. And that’s finally it!

Rey Mysterio vs. Santino Marella

Rey sends him into the corner to start but a faceplant gives Marella a breather. A camel clutch is broken up but Rey misses a 619, only to knock Santino down without much effort. Rey hits a jumping double stomp of all things and the 619 into the top rope splash gives Rey the fast pin.

CM Punk is…interrupted when a light falls down. Anyway, he’ll face anyone but Snitsky of all people comes in to say he wants a fight. Works for Punk.

John Cena and Mickie James are talking about last night when Kelly Kelly comes up to talk about their tag match. Cena is amazed that Kelly got out of her ECW contract, but apparently it didn’t exist.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Layla

Jillian grabs Mickie’s arm to start and is quickly pulled into a headlock. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Layla gets in a cheap shot though and Jillian rams Kelly’s face into the mat over and over. They go to the corner and Kelly manages a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from this match as Mickie was barely involved. It seems that Kelly might be the next in line to get a push but she is going to need a lot of work in the ring to really make that happen. She has to start somewhere though and the whole gymnast thing can get her at least a few steps forward.

Here is JBL’s limo…with JBL walking beside it. He can’t open the doors….so here is John Cena, holding a crowbar, to pop out instead. Cena says Louisiana has strict laws involving limousines and this one will never pass inspection. Fortunately for JBL, Cena knows two guys who can help get parts quick. We hear about some of those limo laws, with Cryme Tyme (carrying some large bats/pipes) helping to fix the limo up a bit. One more thing though: it needs a custom paint job! Spray painting ensues as a bonus. Cena: “Fine work by the Cryme Tyme Body Shop. It is sure worth the drive.”

We look at the cash-in again.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Punk strikes away to start but dives into a bearhug, allowing Snitsky to drive him into the corner. Snitsky’s elbow gets two and the bearhug goes on again. More strikes get Punk out of trouble again and the running knee in the corner sets up a bulldog. The GTS gives Punk the pin.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Michaels’ eye being heavily damaged.

Here is Michaels to say he accepts Jericho’s challenge for the Great American Bash. Cue Jericho with Lance Cade, with Jericho saying he knew Michaels would accept. Michaels can’t help himself because all of the beatings haven’t taught him anything. Now Michaels is going to get beaten up again, even though he’s just another legend fighting for one more chance. Does Michaels want to be a martyr for all of these people? Are they going to pay for him if he loses everything?

Like every other martyr, Michaels is going to be swept underneath the rug and forgotten. Michaels talks about how he could leave wrestling today and be remembered forever. No matter what he has done, the fans seem to keep giving him a pass. Jericho doesn’t think that’s fair, but Michaels talks about what Jericho has done in his career. In spite of all that though, Jericho will never have peace because he will never be Michaels. And there’s the core of the story and that makes the story so much better.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title. Haas grabs a headlock to start but can’t get very far as Kofi strikes away. A cravate with knees to the face have Kingston down for two and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks into the Boom Drop and the spinning kick to the face finishes Haas off in a hurry.

Rating: C. Not much to this one as they only had a few minutes. It doesn’t help that Haas hasn’t meant anything in a long time now so there was only so much drama about anything happening. I’m sure Kingston will get an opponent worthy of a title shot soon enough, but that isn’t Haas right now and they didn’t treat him as anything else.

Post match Paul Burchill runs in and lays Kingston out.

Batista is walking….and a fan randomly runs in to do his pose before running off again.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena vs. Kane

For the World Title shot at the Great American Bash. The brawl starts fast with JBL booting Cena down for an early two. All four of them slug it out and we take an early break. Back with Kane elbowing Cena in the face and ripping at said face in the corner. Batista hits a spinebuster for two on JBL with Kane making the save and planting Batista with a chokeslam. JBL breaks up the FU to Kane and everyone is left down.

It’s Cena up first to clean house, including an FU to Batista for two. We take another break and come back again with Kane breaking up the Shuffle to JBL. Batista starts cleaning house and kicks a downed Kane in the face. The Clothesline From JBL hits Batista but Cena pulls JBL into the STFU. That’s broken up so Cena and JBL double team Kane down. Everyone but Cena fight to the floor, with Kane knocking JBL over the barricade. Back in and Batista spears Kane for the fast pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t some kind of a classic or anything but they kept things moving here and it made for an entertaining match as a result. I had fun with this and giving Batista the title shot is an interesting way to go. Punk vs. JBL isn’t interesting, Cena would be an overwhelming favorite over Punk and Kane doesn’t feel like a World Title challenger. That leaves Batista as the just right choice and he got there in an entertaining fight.

Post match Batista leaves so Kane can snap and beat up people working at ringside. Kane yells at commentary and drags Cole inside, telling Cole to ANSWER ME. Jerry Lawler chop blocks Kane to save Cole but gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They don’t have much time to get ready for the Great American Bash at this point so moving rather quickly like this is a good idea. The World Title match is now set and Michaels vs. Jericho got a nice boost. This show felt like it got some things done in the span of two hours and that is not something you often see with Raw. Good enough show here, as the Bash is coming together rather quickly.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 30, 2008: The Solution To A Problem

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 30, 2008
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 9,800
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Draft and that means things are changing around here in a big way. There are some new stars, but the interesting part is that the top champion is currently the new Intercontinental Champion, Kofi Kingston. Both World Titles are on Smackdown and the ECW Title is in ECW, which means something is going to have to change. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon being taken out at the end of Million Dollar Mania.

Shane McMahon joins us to say that since his dad is a private man, we won’t be talking about what happened last week. Everyone here needs to pull together in this time of uncertainty.

Opening sequence.

Here is Jim Ross to get things going. JR is grateful to be here and is thankful for everyone who has come along with him. He is starting a new journey on Smackdown and hopes everyone comes with him as they take the show to places it has never gone before. We also get a special thank you to Jerry Lawler, who JR refers to as his older brother. JR puts Michael Cole over as his successor (the fans boo anyway) before talking about his history here in Oklahoma City. He doesn’t seem too thrilled with Vince McMahon, who is probably a Longhorn fan.

Anyway, he asks we join him on Smackdown and eat more barbecue…but here are Edge, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder to interrupt. Edge says he had to be here because JR’s arrogance amazes him. Why should anyone care about him? Or the Sooners? Or JR’s relationship with Jerry Lawler? It’s not all bad though, because now JR can come to Smackdown and start his real Hall Of Fame career. Instead of STONE COLD, it’s going to be EDGE WINS!

Edge wants him to try it but JR drops the mic instead. With that, Edge has Hawkins and Ryder escort JR out, leaving him to talk about how Vickie Guerrero and the Undertaker aren’t here. The Shawn Michaels, the John Cenas, the Rey Mysterios and more will never have a shot at the World Title and outside of a Draft show, you will never see him on Raw again. Edge goes to leave but cue Batista to get some revenge for last night. Batista sends him into various things and hits the Batista Bomb inside to leave Edge laying…..AND HERE IS CM PUNK WITH THE BRIEFCASE!

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Edge

Punk is challenging and hits the GTS to win the title! Well that’s one way to open the show.

Post break we get some replays as commentary hypes up how important that really was.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie is aghast as Jillian’s singing. Mickie knocks her outside to start and hits a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. Back in and Jillian goes after the bad arm before slamming her head first onto the mat. The handspring elbow misses in the corner though and the Mick Kick finishes Jillian out of nowhere.

Here is Rey Mysterio for a chat. First of all, Rey thanks CM Punk for bringing the World Title back to Raw. Rey likes the idea of being on the show but here is Santino Marella to interrupt. Santino officially welcome Rey to Mondays. However, he thinks that Rey is hiding behind the mask because he is ugly, stupid, or Batman. Santino thinks Rey is out for attention and we see a photo of Rey on the cover of WWE Magazine. Why wasn’t Santino’s picture used? We see said photo, which is Santino laid out on a bed with a flower in hand. Santino seems to threaten him so the beating is on, with Rey hitting the 619.

We look at CM Punk winning the World Title again.

Punk is so happy with his win and thanks Batista for the attempt. He thanks as many people as he can remember when JBL interrupts. JBL asks if Punk is proud winning a title that way before asking for a title shot tonight. Works for Punk.

Here is John Cena for a chat. No he didn’t win the title last night but he takes that loss with pride. Losing to HHH showed that they are the two best in the business but that brings us to tonight. CM Punk made history and that was awesome, though JBL tried to steal his spotlight. Cena likes Punk because he has brains and guts so he would have given anyone a title shot. Anyone from Harvey Wippleman to Downtown Bruno to Abe Knuckleball Schwartz to Cena himself.

That’s a good idea, and since there is no boss around here, let’s get Punk out here to make up his own mind. Instead here is JBL to say he’s facing Punk tonight and that he’s declaring MARTIAL LAW in WWE. JBL brings out security to escort Cena out of the building because he more or less runs WWE these days. Security and JBL beat him down and Cena is (finally) carried out. Well that didn’t make Cena look very good.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Darren Wade/Steve Anthony

Non-title. Cody takes Anthony down without much effort to start and it’s quickly off to DiBiase for some stomping. The DDT gives Cody the fast pin.

Post match Rhodes talks about how annoying Hardcore Holly was, with his talk about doing things the “right way”. All that got Cody was a job carrying Holly to keep the baby boomer’s career alive. You don’t tell someone as talented as Cody to pay his dues because he couldn’t even focus on himself. So he moved over to a new partner who is young, good looking and dynamic. DiBiase talks about how people under thirty are spoiled but they took matters into their own hands, which makes them….priceless.

Katie Lea Burchill and Paul Burchill talk about how she should be/will be Women’s Champion. He goes to deal with something so here is Jamie Noble to hit on her. Noble plans to go up to the biggest, meanest guy around and go after him. Cue Kane so Noble goes up to him for the threats, including a knock knock joke with a threat as the punchline. Kane sends him running off. Noble comes running into the arena with Kane following. While Noble manages a few shots of his own, the beating doesn’t take long and Noble is chokeslammed onto the announcers’ table.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kingston is defending in a rematch after winning the title last night. Before the match, an annoyed Jericho talks about how WWE.com called him Y2 Jaded after he was cheated out of the Intercontinental Title. As for tonight, Shawn Michaels isn’t in the building, which is what Jericho has heard for weeks now. Believe it or not, Shawn is involved in another lie! There is a problem with Shawn’s eye but Jericho is challenging him for the Great American Bash.

With that out of the way, we’re ready to go and we’re joined in progress after a break with Jericho working on a neck crank. Kofi fights up and hits a running forearm into the Boom Drop. Back up and Jericho gets a boot up in the corner, setting up the Lionsault for two. They trade rollups with both using the tights but only Jericho gets caught….and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but this was about Jericho making his challenge for Shawn Michaels and being all upset. That’s a fine way to go and it makes for a different way to go for Jericho. This is one of the more interesting things on either show at the moment and the match with Shawn should be awesome.

Post match Jericho lays Kofi out.

We look back at the CM Punk title win.

Edge blames Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins for his loss and tells them to get in the car and drive him away.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk is defending and cue JBL’s security as we get going. JBL takes over in the corner to start as the fans are cheering for Cena. Back up and Punk knees him out to the floor, where JBL hits a heck of a clothesline. A boot to the face hits Punk as the fans are getting behind the champ for a change. JBL grabs a sleeper but Punk elbows his way out and gets a boot up in the corner. Punk kicks him in the head and hits the springboard clothesline for two. Cue John Cena and Cryme Tyme to brawl with the security, with the distraction letting Punk hit the GTS to retain.

Rating: C. This was another short match that didn’t exactly make Punk look like a star but he did get the pin. It just might not be the best sign that the fans were chanting for John Cena, though that was kind of the problem with what happened earlier tonight. For now though, it’s a nice enough start for Punk, who played the underdog well here.

Punk gets in on the fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well this show was all about making CM Punk the new champ and setting up JBL as the top heel against both Punk and John Cena. That might make sense on paper, but there is the fact that it’s JBL getting this much time. He’s in his slow talking phase here and hearing him talk about how rich and powerful he is isn’t going to last long. At the same time, there is the Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho feud, which should be a lot better once Shawn is back.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Night Of Champions 2008 (2023 Redo): Gold Only Gets You So Far

Night of Champions 2008
Date: June 29, 2008
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,151
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mike Adamle, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz, Mick Foley

We’re done with the Draft and this is the final show before we enter the new reality, starting with next week’s TV. Tonight has a pretty stacked card as the focus is on championships, including Edge defending the Smackdown World Title against Batista and John Cena challenging HHH for the Raw World Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how important it is to be a champion, with people promising this will be their night. We get more specific looks at the bigger matches as well.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Hornswoggle/Finlay

Miz and Morrison are defending. Finlay and Morrison start things off with an elbow dropping Morrison for a fast two. Back up and Morrison sends him into the corner and out to the floor, where Morrison and Miz grab Hornswoggle. Back in and Hornswoggle wants to fight but Finlay comes in to do it for him so house can be cleaned. Stereo seated sentons hit the champs but Morrison kicks Finlay in the head to take over.

The slingshot elbow/backbreaker combination gets two on Finlay but he’s back with an atomic drop. Hornswoggle tags himself in to pick up the pace until Morrison cheap shots him down. A double clothesline cuts off Hornswoggle’s comeback attempt but Miz misses the charge in the corner. Hornswoggle kicks Morrison away and the hot tag brings Finlay back in. Everything breaks down and Finlay hits the Celtic Cross on Morrison, only to have Miz break up the Tadpole Splash. Morrison slams Hornswoggle off the top to retain.

Rating: C+. This could have been so much worse as Hornswoggle and Finlay worked well together as a team and at least it was a fresh set of opponents for Miz and Morrison. While there aren’t a lot of options for challengers, they have more or less cleaned out the division and it was time to find someone new to come after the belts. Finlay and Hornswoggle did well for a one off challenge and it was a pretty nice match as well.

We look at John Cena beating HHH in the main event of Wrestlemania XXII. They really are making the rematch feel like a huge deal and that’s great to see.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Chavo, with Bam Neely, is challenging. They fight over a lockup to start until Matt gets in a quick takedown. Chavo is right back with a headlock takeover, only to get backdropped to put him down again. With the grappling not working, Chavo starts in on the leg and wraps it around the ropes. Neely helps out by wrapping the leg around the post and Chavo cranks away back inside.

Matt avoids something off the middle rope though and hits a quick Side Effect. The middle rope elbow connects for two so Matt goes up again, only to get pulled into a half crab. That’s broken up but so is the Twist of Fate as Chavo gets the half crab again. Matt makes the ropes so Chavo tries the Three Amigos. That’s countered into the Twist of Fate to retain the title.

Rating: C. As you might have expected, these two worked a completely fine match against each other but it wasn’t the most thrilling. Chavo just isn’t someone who feels like he’s going to win that prestigious of a title, even if Matt is about to take it to ECW. Completely fine match, but nothing that stuck out in any meaningful way.

We look at the end of Million Dollar Mania.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Kane is defending and Henry was added after beating Kane on ECW. They start fast with Kane hammering away and avoiding a Henry splash in the corner. Henry is knocked outside, leaving Show and Kane to slug it out. Kane’s running DDT gets two but Show knocks him outside again. Show and Henry get their big showdown, with Henry’s running shoulder having almost no effect. A clothesline and slam put Henry down as trainers come out to check on Kane.

Show drops Henry again but it’s too early for a chokeslam. Instead they collide again for a double knockdown, allowing Kane to come back in. Alternating corner clotheslines set up a whip to send Henry into Show’s raised boot. The double chokeslam plants Henry but Show and Kane argue over who gets the cover. Kane hits an enziguri but Show knocks him out of the air for two. Something close to an Angle Slam gives Show two more so he goes up, only to get superplexed back down. Kane is down as well though and Henry hits a splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. They went with the straight up monster mash formula here and as luck would have it, the people involved know exactly how to do that match. This was a perfectly entertaining match with Henry getting the win that he has deserved after the last few weeks of being a monster. Good stuff here with the right result.

Batista is ready to move to Raw with the Smackdown World Title. John Cena comes in to say he’s winning too, but here is CM Punk to say the Money In The Bank briefcase is getting heavy.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./???

Rhodes and Holly are defending and DiBiase’s mystery partner is….not here yet, so maybe we can wait ten minutes. That won’t happen so we’ll start the match anyway. Cody starts for the team but DiBiase wants Holly….who gets dropped by Cody with a DDT. DiBiase announces Cody as his partner and gives Holly a cobra clutch legsweep for the pin and the titles. That’s certainly the twist and my goodness it’s better than Holly and Cody’s lame team.

JBL, in a luxury box, is upset that he’s not in a match on the show. Todd Grisham suggests it’s because he isn’t a champion so JBL goes into a speech about how he is successful while the American economy is crumbling. With Vince McMahon gone, he is the richest man in WWE (as we have back to back rich villain segments). He’s also more successful than Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks owner) because he doesn’t see any championship banners around here.

JBL mocks the Dallas Cowboys and praises HIS New York Giants, the Super Bowl champions. Everyone loves a champion, and that is why he is Texas’ favorite New Yorker. He’ll be getting a title soon enough. This was slow speaking JBL and that’s not exactly an inspiring change of pace.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending against a surprise opponent, which will NOT be Shawn Michaels. Since Michaels can’t make a thirty minute light, Jericho is here as an honest man to defend his title. Instead, he’s facing….Kofi Kingston, who came over to Raw in the Supplemental Draft. Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who drives Kingston into the face to start. A headlock takeover puts Kingston on the mat but he’s right back up. Jericho knocks him down again and doesn’t seem too worried to start.

Kingston picks up the pace with the rapid fire leapfrogs so Jericho bails outside, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive. Back in and Jericho dumps Kingston over the top for a big crash, followed by the stomping back inside. A suplex puts Kingston down for two more and Jericho bends his back over the knee. The abdominal stretch goes on but Kingston hiptosses his way to freedom.

Jericho’s belly to back superplex is turned into a crossbody for two and Kingston starts striking way. A clothesline into the Boom Drop gets two on Jericho and a hurricanrana gets the same. Jericho is right back with a knockdown into the Lionsault….but here is Shawn Michaels to superkick Cade. Jericho decks Shawn off the apron but the distraction lets Kingston hit Trouble In Paradise for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. That was a shock and that’s what they seemed to be trying to do. Shawn costing Jericho the title makes all the sense in the world as it gives Jericho a reason to want to get revenge on him despite Shawn not being able to wrestle. Good match too, as Kingston has that unique offense that makes him fun to watch.

Post match Shawn seems pretty banged up so Jericho hits him in the eye again to leave him laying.

Vickie Guerrero wants to talk wedding flowers with Edge when Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come in. They say it’s too bad about HHH, who had to help Batista on Smackdown. Otherwise he could have helped Edge tonight, an idea that Edge doesn’t like. We hear Edge’s resume and he promises to keep the title tonight.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea Burchill

Katie, with Paul Burchill, is challenging and grabs a rollup for a very fast two. They get back up with Mickie pulling her down by the arm and going up, which sends Katie bailing to the floor. Back in and Mickie kicks her down for two but a trip to the floor lets Katie take over. Katie suplexes her onto the arm to put Mickie in trouble and said arm is sent into the buckle. We hit the armbar and a DDT to the arm gives Katie two. Mickie comes out of the corner with a hurricanrana though and some clotheslines get two. Katie grabs a Fujiwara armbar but Mickie fights out again. Another suplex is blocked and a MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C-. This could have been on any given Raw and it still would have been just as uninteresting. There is only so much to be gotten out of a match with a not so interesting challenger and such a basic story. It’s far from terrible, but they shouldn’t have even bothered if this was all they were allowed to do.

We recap Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Edge won the title at One Night Stand and Batista wants it. Violence has ensued.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and wastes no time in powering Edge down. They head to the floor with Edge being sent into the barricade and shouldered down back inside. A Jackhammer gives Batista two and there’s a clothesline back to the floor as it’ all Batista so far. Batista throws him back in but Edge manages a posting for a much needed breather.

Edge Chokes on the ropes and drops an elbow on the apron but Batista slugs his way out of trouble. A swinging neckbreaker puts his right back in trouble though and Edge grabs the chinlock. Back up and Batista gets sent face first into the buckle, followed by a neckbreaker (non-swinging edition). That means we can hit the chinlock again but Batista is back up faster this time.

Edge gets taken down by a hard clothesline and we get a double breather. The spear gives Batista two and a powerslam puts him down again. Edge is right back with a much needed Edgecution but Batista knees the spear away. Batista goes up, only to get dropkicked out of the air to leave them down again.

Cue the Edgeheads with Vickie Guerrero as Batista hits the spinebuster, meaning Vickie has to make the save. Edge decks the referee so Vickie calls out another referee…and gets Chavo Guerrero (with Bam Neely). Batista grabs Vickie and throws her over the top and onto the pile, but Edge gets in a belt shot. Chavo counts the (actually not fast) pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. The match was good for the most part, but then the ending was about as lame and uninspired of a choice as they could have had. It was just another La Familia run in ending, with the really slow count from the referee being the only thing missing. Granted almost none of this matters as Batista is on his way to Raw anyway, but I was hoping for more.

Batista gets the big emotional sendoff, which loses some of its impact when you keep in mind that he’ll be back tomorrow night.

HHH is ready to right the wrong of two years ago.

We recap HHH vs. John Cena for the former’s Raw World Title. This is billed as the biggest match Raw can have and goes back to HHH losing to Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania XXII. The build has gone well and it really does feel like a top level match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere to start as Cena runs him over with a shoulder. A hiptoss works better for HHH so Cena grabs a headlock of his own. That works just as well so Cena hits another shoulder and the release fisherman’s suplex gets two. The flying shoulder misses though and Cena crashes out to the floor. Back in and Cena hits a suplex as the pace slows back down.

Cena fight back again and hits the ProtoBomb but the Shuffle is broken up. HHH hits the jumping knee but Cena is right back with the Throwback. Another Shuffle is cut off by another jumping knee but Cena sends him flying over the corner. HHH comes up holding his leg so Cena is right on it, including a wrap around the post. It’s too early for the STFU as HHH makes the ropes so HHH hits a desperation Pedigree for a delayed two.

Cena grabs an FU for the same and they’re both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena hits another ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is blocked again and HHH tries a Pedigree, only to be reversed into the STFU. HHH goes for the rope so Cena pulls him back, allowing HHH to counter into a Crossface. Cena manages to stand but the FU is countered into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a strange match as it sent over twenty minutes and definitely felt like a major fight, but it felt like they were only getting started when HHH got the pin. For once this could have gone for another five to ten minutes to really get going. The HHH leg stuff could have been something but it wasn’t really given time to develop. It’s not something that is said very often, but HHH needed more time for a change.

Replays and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s a good show but nothing you really need to go out of your way to see. The main event is the best thing on the show and even then it’s not a match you really need to see. They had an easy theme here with all of the title matches but even then, only the Tag Team Titles and the Intercontinental Title changes felt like moments, and even they were on the lower end of things. Overall, it’s certainly not a bad show, but they hyped it up as this major event and it just wasn’t.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2008: Mama KB’s Birthday Bonanza

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2008
Location: E-Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s night two of Million Dollar Mania, which is likely going to mean a lot of sitting around while Vince McMahon talks on the phone. Other than that, we’re on the way towards Night Of Champions and things are heating up between John Cena and HHH. We’re also a week away from the Draft and that means things are going to be shaken up soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how much he loves WWE and how there are moments that transcend time. Moments like Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels’ boyhood dream coming true, and the first time Steve Austin beat someone up. We are (less than) two weeks away from another one of those moments, when he defeats HHH at Night Of Champions to become WWE Champion.

Cue HHH to say this isn’t personal but he’s not sure how much he believes that. Last week, Cena cost HHH a match with Jeff Hardy. If that happens again, this is going to get really personal really fast. Cena brings up HHH knocking him off the announcers’ table last week but HHH knew he would fall off on his own anyway. We hear about HHH tapping at Wrestlemania, with HHH pointing out that IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO.

Cena says HHH may be champion, but until he beats Cena, it doesn’t matter. HHH mocks Cena for being a favorite of younger fans and THAT is enough to make Cena want to fight. A referee comes in but here is Vince McMahon to says not so fast, because this is about giving away money. As for the people in the ring, Cena is in a match right now.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Street fight. Cena tries a sunset lip of all things before going for the slam, with Umaga falling down on him instead. Umaga knocks him hard off the apron and we take a break. Back with Cena charging into a Samoan drop on the ramp but the running hip attack only hits post. Cena hits him with the microphone (there had to be better options) but Umaga plants him with the spinning Rock Bottom for two.

Umaga grabs a chair but Cena takes it away and puts him down instead. The Throwback and top rope Fameasser connect, only to have Cena fall down when trying the FU. A whip into the steps keeps Cena down so Umaga brings the steps inside, only to have Cena reverse into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had some great chemistry together at one point and it was still there to a certain extent, but Umaga has fallen a very long way since the old days. Cena got a little something out of a win over the monster though and that was the point. I’m sure HHH will have a match of his own later on as it’s a good way to make both he and Cena look like stars.

Vince McMahon calls a fan and makes him bark like a dog, which is good for $125,000.

And now, a bikini contest between Maria, Eve Torres, Jillian Hall, Lena Yada, Layla, Melina and Maryse, with Charlie Haas of all people hosting. They all disrobe (well not Jillian, who would rather sing), get fifteen seconds each, and Maria wins.

Vince, money, $100,000, though the fan from North Carolina says Ric Flair is the most handsome man ever from the state. Vince lets him have the money anyway.

We look back at Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye.

Jim Duggan comes out (both he and the 2×4 are in tuxedos) to help Vince McMahon give away $50,000 but the call goes to voicemail. Vince mocks the fan for blowing it so another fan wins instead.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Jeff starts fast by sending him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Carlito catches him in the ropes for the hanging swinging suplex. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back but it’s broken up rather quickly. Jeff misses a dropkick to give Carlito two but he’s right back with a jawbreaker to send Carlito flying. The Whisper In The Wind gets two and there’s the sitout gordbuster. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Carlito off.

Rating: B-. Nice match here, though they didn’t have much time to get very far. The interesting thing here though is that Hardy seems ready to move up to the main event scene. Last week he beat HHH and this week he gets a nice win over Carlito. He’s too big to be in the Intercontinental Title scene, so there isn’t much left for him to go but move up the ladder again. That could be a big deal, and we should be on the way.

Vince, $175,000 this time, but the fan has to sing part of the National Anthem.

Here is Chris Jericho to explain attacking Shawn Michaels last week because everyone has been getting on him about it. We see a clip of the attack and then Jericho blames the fans for changing. It wasn’t his fault that any of this had to happen but the fans are blaming him anyway. That means the fans don’t deserve to be saved anymore and he doesn’t need want them to cheer him anyway. They must want Shawn to come out here right now but it’s not going to happen.

Cue Ric Flair to interrupt and get in Jericho’s face to tell him to shut up. No he can’t wrestle anymore, but they can go to the parking lot and have a fight right now. They start heading to the back but Jericho runs into HHH, who thinks Jericho has been doing enough. Ever since Jericho came back, HHH has been wanting to make Jericho his business and now he wants a fight. Jericho backs down though and we take a break. Back with Flair still wanting to fight but Vince McMahon comes in to have him escorted out. Instead, Vince makes HHH vs. Jericho for tonight.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Ted DiBiase comes out to offer a distraction….and Holly rolls JTG up for the pin in about ten seconds. Well at least they didn’t lose again.

Vince, $16 to a North Carolina fan in honor of the 16 time World Champion Ric Flair.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Mr. Kennedy/Mickie James

This Kennedy vs. Burchill feud needs to wrap up already if they want Kennedy to be something. Kennedy starts fast with a backdrop and stomps away in the corner. Burchill isn’t having that and pulls him into a chinlock before grinding a forearm into Kennedy’s face. Back up and Kennedy hits a running boot in the corner but Katie tags herself in. The fight with Mickie is on with Mickie’s running basement dropkick getting two. The men brawl to the floor, leaving Mickie to miss the top rope Thesz press. Katie grabs a backbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Kennedy and Burchill didn’t do much here but this was about Katie getting another win over Mickie to set up a likely title match. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in the title picture and Katie has done well enough in her chances so far. I can’t imagine she wins the title, but so far so good.

Vince, $174,984 to a VERY excited fan.

Vince, $75,000.

Night Of Champions rundown.

John Cena wishes HHH luck.

Vince, $300,000. We’ll be doing this again next week.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. HHH knocks him down a few times to start as Jericho can’t get much going early on. A whip into the post bangs up Jericho’s shoulder and he falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho choking on the ropes and then standing on HHH’s back to choke some more. Jericho misses a charge though and HHH slugs away, only to have the facebuster blocked. The Walls don’t work either and HHH hits a spinebuster. Jericho can’t get the Walls or the Lionsault and they fight out to the floor. Cue Lance Cade of all people to jump HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Another nice match and that’s kind of the point here. I can go for not having a champion lose clean in a thrown together match and they covered that well here. Throw in Cade joining Jericho out of nowhere and things were certainly interesting. They covered a few things here and that’s nice to see for a main event.

Post match the beatdown is on but John Cena runs in for the save. HHH and Cena get in a fight but Jericho and Cade take them both out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The action was good and they’re turning Night Of Champions into something big, but at the end of the day, the Vince money stuff is getting annoying fast. They’re trying to throw in some jokes here and there but there is only so much that can be done with someone getting a phone call, saying a password, and winning money. Next week is the Draft though and that should change things up more than enough.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2008: Almost All About The Money

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2008
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Both Night Of Champions and the Draft are looming, but this is about MONEY! Tonight is the official start of the new concept as Vince McMahon is going to be giving money to the fans. I’m sure this won’t dominate the conversation on commentary, even with John Cena challenging HHH at the pay per view is already set. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vince McMahon and it’s money time. Vince has $1 million in cash brought out and put in a case, as he explains how to win (register, answer the password he gives you, win money). The password is “WWE Universe” and we’ll have our first phone call, for $200,000, after our first match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill, who is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and Kennedy grabs a headlock as commentary talks about Kennedy’s rising popularity since he got rid of William Regal. Burchill belly to back suplexes Kennedy into the corner to escape and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long as Kennedy is back up with a running boot to the head. The Mic Check finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: C. Kennedy wins again and that is how you give someone a push. WWE is building him back up and winning a quick feud against Burchill should give him a nice step up. You can sense that WWE wants to do something big with Kennedy and he seems to be off to a nice restart.

Post match Katie comes in to slap Kennedy, allowing Burchill to hit the Twisted Sister (JR: “Holy Dee Snider!”

Here is Vince for the $200,000 giveaway and he even puts his glasses on to make the call. First up, Vince calls the wrong number, then he calls someone whose number plays music until the person answers the phone. The guy picks up but Vince hangs up on him, leaving JR and King a bit stunned. Vince: “You guys want to win $200,000 or not?” Vince calls the music guy again and this time he gets through, with the guy giving the password and winning the money. More later and hopefully with some more entertaining hijinks.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title. Mickie kicks her in the ribs to start but a DDT attempt is countered into a kind of side slam for two. A slingshot suplex gives Beth two more but Mickie headscissors her way out of a powerbomb. Mickie hits a running dropkick to the face for two before the top rope Thesz press finishes Beth in a hurry.

Post match Beth decks Mickie but Melina runs in to go after Beth, including a top rope faceplant.

It’s time to give away more money and the guy wins $75,000.

John Cena and HHH run into each other in the back and talk about what a big match they’ll have at Night Of Champions. It’s not personal, but rather about being the best. HHH says he’s the best right now, but Cena reminds him of their Wrestlemania match. They’ll see what happens at Night Of Champions.

Charlie Haas of all people is here to help give away more money. Vince McMahon tries to call a few times and can’t get anywhere, as he makes jokes about modern technology and a “crack staff”. A guy named Gabe brings Vince another number, with Haas getting to dial. Actually never mind as Vince dials and gets through to a woman who wins $50,000.

Hang on though, as Vince says he’ll make it $100,000 if Haas can kiss a Diva. Cue Maria and kissing ensues, but Vince says if Haas can kiss another Diva, the woman gets another $25,000. Cue Mae Young, who grabs Haas by the trunks and kisses him. Ron Simmons comes out for his catchphrase as Young has Haas begging for help. That was as weird of a segment as you could have hoped to see.

JBL thinks no one deserves money but John Cena deserves a beating.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

HHH is on commentary and a quick distraction lets JBL hammer away in the corner. JBL forearms him in the back but gets pulled down with the running bulldog. A swinging neckbreaker cuts Cena down for two but he gets up to stare JBL out to the floor. HHH and JBL have a standoff and we take a break.

Back with JBL kicking Cena in the face on the floor and dropping an elbow for a bonus. The cravate goes on back inside as we see Lawler on WWE.com for some reason. The sleeper goes on and Cena is in about as much trouble as you would expect for a sleeper to give John Cena. Another big boot cuts Cena down but he pops back up and initiates the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped though and the Clothesline From JBL gets a delayed two thanks to a foot on the rope. JBL loads up the announcers’ table, which takes long enough that Cena can grab a small package for the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two only have so much chemistry together and they don’t have great matches for two bigger stars. Granted it doesn’t help that Cena losing to JBL seems almost hard to fathom, especially with a big title match coming up. At least JBL got in some more offense here, but the whole rivalry being so one sided isn’t doing them any favors.

Post match Cena gets on the announcers’ table but HHH trips him down and leaves.

Vince McMahon comes out to give away more money, but first he talks to Lilian Garcia. He brings up her measurements and adds them up to 98, so let’s give away $98,000. A woman answers and wins.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. His guest was a hero to Jericho as a child and during his career, so here is Shawn Michaels. Jericho talks about how Shawn is still banged up from the beating Batista gave him but brings up the “fake” knee injury. Shawn says the only person he lied to about the knee injury was Jericho himself, with Jericho talking about how he always get booed for telling the truth. Jericho wants to know how Shawn has become such a lying worm of a human being…and jumps him to start the fight. A low blow cuts Shawn off and Jericho says this is what Shawn wanted. Then he sends him face first into the Jeritron 5000 to bust Shawn’s eye open.

Post break, we see what we saw pre break.

Snitsky/Umaga vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title and my goodness how far Umaga has fallen. Cody dodges Snitsky to start before handing it off to Holly. That doesn’t go so well to start as Holly goes to the middle rope but Cody wanted a double suplex. The suplex works but Holly gets annoyed at Cody, allowing Snitsky to jump Holly and take over. Umaga comes in for a clothesline but Snitsky misses the big elbow for a crash. The double tag brings in Cody to slug away at Umaga but the dropkick only puts him on one knee. Umaga’s swinging release Rock Bottom is a swinging release faceplant this time and the Samoan Spike finishes Cody fast.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here and it’s not exactly interesting to see Cody and Holly losing over and over. They only felt like a makeshift team in the first place but they’ve been champions for months now. That doesn’t make for a great story and now it seems we are on the way towards their inevitable demise. I’m sure Snitsky and Umaga will get a title shot out of this though yes?

Post match Ted DiBiase Jr. comes out to say the champs need to get their act together before they lose the titles at Night Of Champions.

WWE does work with Make-A-Wish. That’s always awesome, as the smiles on those kids’ faces are amazing.

Back in the arena and Vince McMahon cuts off Jillian Hall and Trevor Murdoch’s singing to give someone $2, the value of Hall’s singing. That’s so cruel it’s almost hilarious. Vince calls someone else and gives him $200,000, earning some swearing in happiness.

Cryme Tyme vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Santino and JTG start things off with Santino grabbing a rollup for a fast two. JTG does it right back for the same and Santino is already looking annoyed. Shad comes in for a slam before Alabama Slamming JTG onto Santino for two. JTG gets knocked out of the air though and Marella puts on a camel clutch. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Shad hitting an STO for the pin on Santino.

Rating: C. Hopefully that starts the end of Carlito and Marella’s run as a team as my goodness they’re about as lame of a team as you can get. Other than that, this was a nice win for Cryme Tyme, as they always seem ready to move on up to the title picture. Not enough time to do much here, but at least the right team won.

Post match Vince McMahon calls Cryme Tyme to the stage as he gives away $51,998. Lawler: “Did he say $51,998?” JR: “That’s right Jerome.” And the fan wins.

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. HHH runs him over with a shoulder to start but stops to stare at Cena, allowing Hardy to hammer away. More right hands look to set up the Twist of Fate but HHH powers him off and hits the spinebuster. The jumping knee gets two on Hardy and we hit the abdominal stretch (complete with a rope grab of course).

The facebuster connects as commentary talks about the value of a good right hand. Back up and Hardy misses the Whisper in the Wind, allowing HHH to clothesline him out to the floor. Hardy manages to drop him ribs first onto the barricade but HHH hiptosses Hardy into Cena for the crash. That’s enough for Cena to pull HHH off the apron….and Hardy wins by countout. Ok then.

Rating: C+. They got to do a bit here but it was only about nine minutes long and with that screwy finish. Cena vs. HHH does feel like a huge match but I would imagine it headlining Summerslam rather than Night Of Champions. At the same time, Hardy is getting a nice push here as well, which could bode well for his future.

Post match Cena and HHH stare each other down on the floor before Hardy dives onto both of them.

Vince McMahon comes out and thanks everyone for making Million Dollar Mania work. Then he gives a fan $250,000 to end the show with promises of another $1 million giveaway next week.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was mostly all about the money and it’s not exactly an interesting thing to see. Other than Vince not being able to use a phone very well and some mishaps, it was a lot of “here’s a person winning money”. The rest of the show wasn’t very interesting either, though HHH vs. Cena does feel like a huge pay per view match. Other than that though, pretty weak stuff this time around.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 26, 2008: Pay The People Their Money?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2008
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 16,524
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before One Night Stand and the end of last week’s show set up a pair of huge matches for the show. Now we are getting ready for JBL vs. John Cena in a first blood match and HHH vs. Randy Orton in a last man standing match for HHH’s Raw World Title. I’m sure we’ll get some more tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon joins us on the Titantron to say William Regal got what he deserved last week, but are the fans getting what they deserve? They deserve appreciation, and tonight they will receive it like never before. He’s open to suggestions, including from the wrestlers. By the end of the night, fans will receive appreciation like they have never seen.

Here are HHH and Randy Orton for a face to face standoff. Orton is asked about how he beat HHH in a last man standing match before, but it was HHH’s third match of the night and Orton’s second. Orton is sick of having his accomplishments downplayed, because what matters is that he beat HHH in this very match.

HHH says the fans are laughing at Orton because he’s a censored. He isn’t laughing though, because Orton has a tendency to find a cheap way out. If Orton wants to be the best, he has to face the best over and over. Orton says HHH doesn’t thrive on competition because he either brings in his threats or just flat out eliminates him.

Like Shawn Michaels or Evolution, because HHH knows he needed to fear them. HHH says Evolution was about making Orton realize his potential but he isn’t just going to walk away. Orton promises to win and goes to leave, but HHH promises to end the Age Of Orton like it never happened. There wasn’t much left to be said about this feud so this was nothing we haven’t heard before.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is on commentary. Jillian jumps her to start and hits a flipping faceplant before hitting some kicks to the back. Melina fights back and elbows her in the face, setting up an Indian Deathlock for the fast tap.

Chris Jericho comes in to see Vince McMahon with an idea to appreciate the fans: a match with Shawn Michaels tonight. Deal, and we’ll make it non-title. Cryme Tyme comes in and steal some of Williams Regal’s stuff to sell.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Rhodes dropkicks London down to start but a double dropkick puts Rhodes down for two. Holly comes in to knock Kendrick down but Rhodes misses a middle rope crossbody. It’s off to London to dropkick and hurricanrana Holly as everything breaks down. London tries to skin the cat, only to get caught in the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. Fast paced stuff here but they only had so much time to make it work. London and Kendrick are still an entertaining team but for some reason WWE insists on sticking with Rhodes and Holly as champions. The tag division barely exists, though you would think WWE might want to go with the better of the two teams here.

Post match here is Ted DiBiase of all people. He has a special moment for us, in the form of the newest member of the Raw roster: his son Ted DiBiase! Ted Jr. says he has always wanted to become a champion and that is what he is going to do in his debut match. So Holly and Rhodes need to pay attention, because everybody has a price, but he is priceless. That’s a great line.

Roddy Piper is training Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal for his match against Santino Marella. Kimmel comes in to watch the training and isn’t sure if this is going well as Piper beats up Sal. Oddly enough this is included on Peacock, along with a recap of last week’s segment, which wasn’t on Peacock.

Mickie James suggests a contest to Vince McMahon where schools get to say why they love WWE and the winner gets a Diva For A Day. JBL comes in to say that sounds like an escort service (working for strangers you see) and suggests the ring mat, covered in John Cena’s blood on Sunday, be cut up and sold.

Some soldiers wish us Happy Memorial Day.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Umaga vs. John Cena/Jeff Hardy

Cena and JBL start things off but let’s go with Umaga instead. The FU attempt doesn’t work but Umaga misses a charge in the corner so Cena can slug away. The swinging release Rock Bottom cuts Cena off though and we take a break. Back with JBL hammering Hardy into the corner and whipping him into another one.

The abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy slips out and hits a Whisper In The Wind. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Cena and house is cleaned in a hurry. Umaga knocks Cena into Hardy for the tag but the Swanton misses. With Cena and Umaga on the floor, the Clothesline From JBL finishes Hardy off.

Rating: C+. The ending came a bit out of nowhere but it was a good enough match to get the people involved out there. Umaga vs. Hardy has been a bit forgotten amid the two main event level matches at One Night Stand so giving them a bit of exposure was a good idea. Then again JBL vs. Cena isn’t exactly thrilling and it’s more interesting to go in another direction, even for one match.

Shawn Michaels comes to see Vince McMahon and doesn’t buy Vince wanting to appreciate the audience. Vince says Shawn will have to give the devil his due. Shawn: “You would know about that wouldn’t you?”

Video on the recent tour of Mexico.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Carlito takes him down fast and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. The Backstabber is loaded up but Kennedy reverses into the Mic Check for the fast win.

Post match Katie Lea Burchill comes out to say some people aren’t happy with Kennedy getting rid of William Regal. Paul Burchill pops up from behind and lays Kennedy out.

Trevor Murdoch tries to sing a country version of No Chance but Vince McMahon sends him away.

One Night Stand rundown.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

More troops say hi.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They go to the mat a few times to start and that’s good for a standoff. Shawn sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Jericho takes him into the corner for some stomping. Jericho’s bulldog is blocked with a shove into the corner and there’s the nipup.

The superkick is countered into a Walls attempt, which is countered into a small package for two. The second Walls attempt works far better but Shawn makes the ropes. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him tot he floor and grabs the Walls again for the double countout.

Rating: B-. Jericho vs. Shawn is going to work almost every time but Jericho is teetering on the brink of a heel turn. I’m curious to see how they get to what should be Jericho as quite the villain, as they could go a few different ways to get there. I’m not sure how much we’ll get out of the Shawn vs. Batista match to get there, but they have an interesting story on the way there.

Post match Jericho grabs a chair but puts it down.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big announcement despite there not being much time left. Vince walks through the roster on the stage before talking about how everyone together. Let’s do that in four weeks with the WWE Draft. Until then, for the next four weeks, Vince is going to give away MONEY. What if he gave away a thousand dollars? Ten thousand dollars? Or even A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS? Heck he’s a billionaire, so over the next week, he’s going to give away the sum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS. End of show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a nice job of covering just about everything on this side of the One Night Stand card and that is the right idea. Other than that, the money thing at the end was more than a bit different, but at least they’re trying to set something up for after the pay per view. WWE certainly needs something fresh at the moment as they continue to milk another pay per view out of feuds they’ve been running for a long time. Not a bad show, but the build to Summerslam needs to start fast.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.