Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2006
Location: CenturyTelCenter, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Saturday Night’s Main Event, which is the last real stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. Things have been a little strange as of late as we have been building towards both shows at once, but Saturday Night is just a commercial for Wrestlemania anyway. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s main event tag and Undertaker challenging Mark Henry for the Wrestlemania casket match to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Lumberjack match. Lashley kicks Finlay outside to start and Finlay gets to beat up the lumberjacks. Back in and Lashley pulls him away from the ropes for a crash to the mat. A clothesline into a backdrop sends Finlay outside again and it’s time for the big staredown between everyone involved. Some cheap shots from the lumberjacks put Lashley down so Finlay throws him outside again to keep up the beating. The chinlock goes on back inside, followed by some forearms to the back.

Those just annoy Lashley, so Finlay sends him outside for more lumberjack fun. Finlay misses a charge into the post though and Lashley pops off a belly to belly. A clothesline gives Lashley two and there’s the one armed delayed vertical suplex. Lashley throws Finlay onto the lumberjacks and then goes outside to beat on him some more. I’m not sure if he understands the idea of a lumberjack match. Back in and Sylvan grabs a chair, but Lashley takes him down. The distraction works though as Finlay gets in the shillelagh shot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they were beating the heck out of each other but they kept going with the lumberjacks to make things a little off. What we had was a good brawl though and I liked all of the physicality. Sometimes you need to just throw people in there and have them beat each other up, which worked out well enough with two power guys like them.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: the Gimmick Battle Royal. Works for me.

MNM is gawking over Vince McMahon’s Muscle and Fitness cover and admiring his glutes. Melina comes up to take it away, revealing that they are looking at Candice Michelle’s Playboy. She keeps it for her own personal use. Nitro: “What are you going to do with it?” Melina: “Use your imagination.” Melina walks over to Kristal Marshall and says that she’s beautiful in the Divas Magazine, but Kristal needs to learn her place around here. Paul Burchill comes up so Melina call MNM over. Burchill whips out the sword and the villains run off.

William Regal/Jillian Hall vs. Kristal Marshall/Paul Burchill

Regal keeps stealing glances at Jillian in her gear. The women fight over a lockup to start with Jillian sending her into the corner. That allows commentary to discuss their gear, as commentary tends to do around here. Regal tries to break things up and gets slapped in the face so Burchill comes in for a running crossbody. A shove out of the corner puts Burchill down though and Regal kicks him in the head (simple things can work just fine). We hit the chinlock but Burchill fights up and it’s back to the women for the catfighting. Since that can’t last long, Burchill comes back in for the C4 to finish Regal in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It really is amazing to see the differences between people with Wrestlemania stories and people who are destined for the pre-show battle royal. They’re fighting over a magazine and Burchill’s choice to be a pirate, which doesn’t exactly make me think much of them going into the biggest show of the year. Then again I’m a sucker for most pirate shenanigans so this was entertaining in a few ways.

Sharmell and Booker are in the back with Sharmell screaming about how scared she is of the Boogeyman. Booker has a box for her though and knows everything will be ok.

Verne Gagne Hall of Fame video.

Booker T. vs. Jeremy Young

Sharmell is in a beekeeper’s suit. Booker runs Young over as Sharmell continues to panic on the floor. Some more shots to the face let Booker stomp him down in the corner and there’s a spinebuster to cut off the comeback. The ax kick finishes Young.

Rating: D. Yeah I don’t think there’s any secret to what they were going for here. I’m hoping they wrap up the Boogeyman stuff sooner rather than later as it is the kind of story that was fun once or twice (and that’s a stretch) and now it’s just silly. Well sillier that is. Let him be a special attraction if he has to be on the show, but having him with big names like this is a little too much.

Post match Boogeyman’s music plays so Booker and Sharmell hide underneath the ring. Guess who they find under there.

We look at last week’s main event again.

We get a sitdown interview with Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle. Orton cuts Cole off to ask Angle how healthy he is after last week’s attacks. Angle thinks it’s funny and loads up the broken freaking neck line but Orton cuts him off as well because we’ve heard it before. As for Mysterio, Orton is going to embarrass him at Wrestlemania because he doesn’t belong in the main event. Angle calls out Orton for not respecting Mysterio, who beat Orton to win the Royal Rumble.

Orton says Angle is a paper champion who won the title in a battle royal that Orton wasn’t even in. That sends Angle into a rant about Orton being a one time champion who held it for a month. Mysterio says he’ll win the title at Wrestlemania because dreams come true. Rey says he will have Angle’s back tonight and tomorrow, but that won’t be the case at Wrestlemania. Angle doesn’t want it any other way and Orton promises to dominate in all three matches. This didn’t add much but it worked well enough and reinforced what was already set up.

The Miz is coming.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Road Warrior Animal vs. Matt Hardy

Matt slugs away to start and gets shoved down. That’s fine with Matt as he takes Animal down and hammers away again. Animal goes after Matt’s banged up knee, which only draws up some louder HARDY chants. The leg cranking is on but Matt uses the good leg to kick him away. A reverse DDT into the Side Effect gets two and there’s another Side Effect to send Animal into the corner. Matt unloads in the corner but almost hits the referee, allowing Animal to get in a brass knuckles shot for the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not exactly expecting this to stand as even 2006 Smackdown isn’t insane enough to put Animal in a big match at Summerslam. The match was nothing of course because it’s Animal, but what else were you expecting? Was there really a rub to get from beating an old member of half of the Legion of Doom?

Post match the referee sees the knuckles and reverses the decision to send Matt to Wrestlemania. Dang Matt really can’t catch a break. Yeah he’s going to Wrestlemania, but he has to keep heat on Animal?

Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and JBL is on commentary with a cooler of beer to hype up the beer drinking contest with Steve Austin. Benoit goes straight to the suplex to set up the corner chops. Jordan is sent outside for more chops, allowing Benoit to glare at JBL. Back in and Jordan takes him down by the arm as JBL goes into one of his rather intense rants about Austin meaning nothing in Texas. Benoit fights out of an armbar and snaps off the German suplexes. JBL: “I GOT FIRED IN GERMANY ONE TIME AND I REALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!” The Sharpshooter finishes Jordan.

Rating: D+. These two had to set some kind of a record for facing each other in matches that weren’t all that good. It isn’t like Jordan is making anyone look good as he’s someone out there to get beaten up with no doubt about who is winning. Can we see what Benoit can do against a stuff giraffe named Irving instead?

Post match JBL hits Benoit with the cooler (good shot too).

We look back at Mark Henry costing Kurt Angle the World Title two weeks ago.

Mark Henry isn’t scared of the casket or the Streak. Tomorrow, Undertaker can come face him on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

MNM/Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle/Randy Orton/Rey Mysterio

Melina and Daivari are here with the villains and Angle has bad ribs from last week. Orton slaps Nitro before the bell and it’s Angle top wristlocking Nitro to start. Mercury comes in and gets a knee to Angle’s ribs to take over in the corner. Angle’s ribs are fine enough to snap off a belly to belly and it’s off to Rey. The springboard moonsault gets two on Mercury and a spinning bulldog to Nitro gets the same.

Mysterio gets sent into the corner though and Henry comes in to step on Rey’s chest. The splash misses though and Rey hammers away in the corner, only to have Orton distract the referee so Daivari can get in a cheap shot. That of course means an EDDIE chant, because that’s all Rey means these days. We take a break and come back with Melina slapping Mysterio.

A headscissors choke on the apron (with the camera cutting to the other side of the ring because the skirt is a little short) keeps Rey down and Nitro drops an elbow on Rey’s back. Henry comes back in for the gorilla press drop but another splash misses. An enziguri allows the diving tag to Angle, as Orton stops to fix his boot. Angle starts cleaning house as everything breaks down, including the Angle Slam to Henry. There’s the 619 to Nitro but Orton tags himself in and throws Mysterio outside to steal the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C. And yes, the Tag Team Champions lose again. It was to a bigger name, but can we go a few weeks without them losing? Just for a change of pace? Anyway, this was another way of enforcing things that we already know, because there isn’t much else that can be done to set up the triple threat. That’s not good with two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, but it isn’t the deepest story in the world.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another show that bounced back and forth between building to Saturday Night’s Main Event and Wrestlemania but it didn’t work as well as Raw. The triple threat match is as set as it is going to be, though it was nice to have the three of them not bring up Eddie every few seconds. The wrestling wasn’t great, but that is rarely the point this time of year. Not a bad show, but the build for Wrestlemania is just tightening up everything that is already set, plus some MITB qualifying. That could make for some fairly week shows on the way to Chicago, but this could have been worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2006
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re running out of time before Wrestlemania and this time around that means we need to start setting up some Money in the Bank participants. Other than that we are all but guaranteed to get some fallout from last week when Mark Henry attacked the Undertaker to cost him the World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap

We open with a recap of Undertaker vs. Angle, set to Deadly Game, at least on the Network. Then Henry crushed Undertaker to make it even worse.

Here are Mark Henry and Daivari to get things going. Fans have been calling it a classic, but how can you have a classic without Henry? He is the only man who deserves to be champion because he took out Batista and Undertaker and Angle is scared of him. Now he wants his title shot, so he is calling Kurt Angle out. So Kurt has options: he can hand it over, or get it took.

Cue Angle to say he’s ready right now and the fight is on. This brings out Randy Orton to jump Angle, which brings out Rey Mysterio for the failed save attempt. Henry crushes Rey but Angle makes the save with a chair. Teddy Long comes out to make the main event in obvious fashion.

Money in the Banks Qualifying Match: Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Or not as they start brawling in the aisle before the bell. The referee tries to break it up and gets shoved down, drawing out more referees to break it up. Lashley shrugs off a shillelagh shot to the head and gets in a spear until they brawl to the back. No match.

They fight into the parking lot and wind up on top of a car with Lashley ramming him head first into the roof over and over. With Finlay still on top of the car, Lashley (and some editing tricks) turn the car over, possibly onto Finlay.

Someone is coming, and his name is the Miz.

Here is JBL, fresh off hand surgery, for a chat. He has been blessed by the outpouring of support from the fans and he loves them too. However, since his injury, he has been cheapshotted and blindsided by none other than Steve Austin. Last week, Austin was interviewed by WWE.com and mentioned the greatest Texas wrestlers and JBL was not mentioned!

JBL lists his resume, which includes holding the WWE Title longer than Austin. His last Wrestlemania was bigger than anything Austin ever did and JBL is better than Austin on Austin’s best day. All Austin has left is his ability to drink beer, so JBL wants to prove that he is better than that too. That’s why he wants Austin in a beer drinking contest at Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Then he’ll go to Wrestlemania and take care of Chris Benoit. We see a clip of Benoit injuring JBL’s hand, and JBL says he better go on last at Wrestlemania, because no one is following him. As usual, JBL is great at talking and possibly even better at taking a beating for what he said.

Gregory Helms, who broke his nose in Australia, comes in to see Teddy Long. Teddy doesn’t think it’s fair that Helms has to defend the Cruiserweight Title every week. Helms agrees, but gets to face Chris Benoit in a non-title match.

Video on the Australia/New Zealand tour.

William Regal vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill is making his pirate debut and Regal is shaking his head about having to do this. Before the match, Regal declares this a joke because Burchill is going to make a bloody fool out of himself. Burchill swings in on a rope and Regal finds it oh so funny. Then Burchill whips out a sword and Regal’s face is great. They fight over wrist control to start with Burchill taking him down into an armbar. Regal throws him away and hits a knee to the face, followed by even more knees to keep Burchill down.

We get an inverted full nelson (that’s a…well rare one at least) for a bit, followed by an exploder suplex for two on Burchill. An elbow gets Burchill out of trouble and it’s a jumping clothesline to take Regal down. A very badly hidden camera edit (Regal went from down on the mat to on his feet in a split second) takes us to Burchill getting two off an enziguri and grabbing a standing Spanish Fly for the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m a sucker for pirate movies but this isn’t going to be anything more than a short term gimmick and I think everyone knows it. The change is understandable as Regal and Burchill were only going to go so far as the evil British tag team, but the pirate gimmick going off of the success of Pirates of the Caribbean feels like something that belongs in Memphis, not WWE. At least Burchill is a talented guy though, as this could be a lot worse.

Here are a nervous Booker T. and Sharmell for a chat. Sharmell, with a bag wrapped around her shoulder, says they are tired of the treatment Booker has been receiving. This has been due to Teddy Long and the Boogeyman and they have LETTERS to prove it. First up is a letter from the head of the NAACP, who says Boogeyman is a bad role model for minority children and is rolling back all of the gains in the Civil Rights Movement.

Then someone from PETA says that Boogeyman is cruel to worms, who have feelings too. A third letter, from the editor of Worm Digest, says that Boogeyman should be stopped. Fourth up is a letter from the President’s Council on Health and Fitness, which says eating worms is unhealthy!

So Long needs to get out here right now and address the Boogeyman problem. Long pops up on screen instead and makes Boogeyman vs. Booker for Saturday Night’s Main Event. Booker isn’t happy and throws out the letters….but finds worms instead. Boogeyman appears in the aisle and chases Booker and Sharmell off. The letters thing was kind of funny actually.

Raw Rebound.

Sherri Martel Hall of Fame video.

Kristal Marshall vs. Jillian Hall

Bra and panties match, which is exactly how you follow up a video honoring a woman in wrestling. Jillian throws her down by the hair to start but Kristal is back with a crossbody. The catfight is on with Kristal losing her shirt but coming back with a sunset flip to get rid of Jillian’s skirt. Jillian can’t hit a slam and Kristal takes the shirt to win.

And yes Kristal follows tradition by stripping as well.

Batista was at the Arnold Classic and met Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chris Benoit vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Helms hides in the ropes to start before going with the lockup. Benoit grabs the bad nose and chops away, followed by the snap suplex. The Sharpshooter is blocked and Helms gets in a drop toehold, setting up a legdrop to the back of the neck. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Benoit sweeps the leg but still can’t get the Sharpshooter.

The chinlock goes on for the second time but this time Benoit is up with the release German suplex. Benoit finally gets smart enough to go after the bad nose and NOW the Sharpshooter worse. Helms makes the rope and tries to leave but the rest of the cruiserweights are there to throw him inside. Another German suplex sets up the Swan Dive into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C. Benoit winning was expected, but Cole saying that Helms winning would be a huge upset doesn’t exactly do much for the title. It would be an upset, but a champion beating another champion shouldn’t be the biggest shock in the world. It shows you just how worthless the Cruiserweight Title is, even if that has been obvious for a long time now.

Video on Candice Michelle’s Playboy shoot.

We look back at Animal turning on Matt Hardy last week.

Animal talks about his years with Hawk as part of the Legion of Doom. They were the biggest tag team ever and then last week, Matt told him to go up for the Doomsday Device. Well now the tag team days are over and it’s time for Animal to look out for #1.

We look back at the Lashley vs. Finlay fight. Next week, they’re having a lumberjack match.

Mark Henry/Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio/Kurt Angle

Daivari is here with the villains. Angle and Orton start things off with Orton not seeming thrilled to go after him. Kurt drives him into the corner for a clean break before wrestling Orton down to the mat with ease. It’s off to Rey in a hurry and the EDDIE chants begin just as fast. It’s too early for a 619 though as Henry pulls Orton out of the way and we take a break.

Back with Mysterio hammering away at Orton and going up top, where Daivari distracts him for a second. Orton dropkicks him out of the air so Henry can come in to throw Mysterio around. It’s back to Orton for the forearms to the chest as Angle is getting anxious on the apron. The fast tags continue with Orton getting in a few shots before handing it back to Henry. Rey’s kicks to the face have no effect as Henry gorilla press drops him but misses the splash.

The diving tag brings in Angle to clean house and, after avoiding the RKO, he grabs the ankle lock. Henry makes the save so it’s Rey springboarding back in and hitting the 619 on Orton. Angle and Orton fight on the floor as Henry stands on Mysterio. The referee gets splashed on purpose and Daivari sends in a table. Henry loads Mysterio onto it and goes to the middle rope with Angle making the save. The RKO drops Angle and Orton puts him on the table instead. Henry’s splash crushes Angle so here are more referees to check on him as the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill main event style tag match here and it worked well enough in that regard. The whole point was to keep Henry looking like a monster and having him destroy the World Champion is a good way to get there. In addition you have Angle banged up for Wrestlemania, but just get to the Undertaker stuff already.

Henry and Daivari are left alone in the ring and there go the lights. Undertaker’s voice comes up to challenge Henry for a Wrestlemania casket match. Henry rubs his face and nods to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a show that was about setting up things for Wrestlemania, with most of the matches already set or fairly obvious. That worked out well enough too, as the stuff that needed to get a focus got some attention, with a big match being made. Much like last week though, it is very obvious who has something going for Wrestlemania and who doesn’t, as the interest goes up and down throughout the night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6