IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2018
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

Now this should be an interesting one as Renee Young will be the first woman to do a full night of commentary on Raw. We’re also in WCW country and it’s the go home show for Summerslam. It’s hard to say what we’ll be seeing tonight as it’s not clear if Brock Lesnar will be around or not (I wouldn’t get my hopes up). Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

No In Memory of Jim Neidhart graphic. Seriously?

Here’s a somber Ronda Rousey to say that Natalya won’t be here tonight. She talks about the importance of fathers, including Neidhart who passed away earlier today. Natalya was the first person to help her out when she got here and Rousey will be the first person to stand up for Natalya in her absence. Alexa Bliss had to cheat to beat Natalya and on Sunday, she’ll beat Bliss to win the title. That’s the same thing Ember Moon is going to do right now so it’s time for a match.

Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss has Alicia Fox, with plants in her hair and wearing one sleeve of a jacket due to the armbar from last week. Hang on though as Bliss wants to rant about Rousey being such a bully. Bliss is tired of having everyone say Rousey is going to destroy her on Sunday. Rousey has had three matches and Bliss is a five time Women’s Champion.

It’s not fair that Kurt Angle is willing to protect Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns but Rousey is allowed out here during this match. Therefore she’s talked to Constable Baron Corbin and has gotten her own security tonight. Four large guys come out and get in the ring, allowing Bliss to knock Ember into Rousey, knocking the latter off the apron. Rousey beats up the security and the match is after a break.

We’re joined in progress after a break with Moon grabbing an armbar so here’s a promo for Reigns vs. Lesnar. The match wasn’t back on for a minute and it’s off to the split screen nonsense. Back with Moon getting two and Bliss rolling to the floor, earning herself a baseball slide. Back in and we hit a chinlock for a bit before Bliss dropkicks her in the ribs. Bliss gets kicked to the floor again and we take a break, four minutes and fifteen seconds into a match with a minute of that in split screen.

Back with Moon rolling her up for two but getting caught in a chinlock. A basement dropkick cuts Moon off again and Bliss glares at Rousey, who doesn’t seem happy. Moon screams a lot and comes back with the tornado DDT into the snap suplex ala Wade Barrett but Rousey stops to beat up Fox. Bliss actually goes after Rousey and throws her into the barricade in a bit of bravery/loyalty you wouldn’t have expected. Back in and Moon hits a gutbuster, followed by the Eclipse….for two as Fox comes in for the DQ at 12:20.

Rating: C-. All of the cuts didn’t help things but they did the right thing by not having Bliss take a fall there. I was expecting Rousey to come in and get Moon disqualified but this way works better. Bliss being loyal to Fox was surprising as she tends to change friends a lot (Mickie James anyone?) and it was nice to have them not go with the champion losing going into a big match.

Long recap of two weeks ago when Brock Lesnar attacked Paul Heyman (but we need to cut out time from a match for a promo video) and Heyman’s interview from last week. We get some extra footage, with Heyman implying that there might be a way for Reigns to win but cutting himself off and leaving. Heyman turn or Shield reunion perhaps?

Angle and Corbin argue about Corbin making the match earlier. Corbin doesn’t apologize for going over Angle’s head and goes to the ring. Dolph Ziggler (with his hair down and straight for a weird look) and Drew McIntyre come in to complain about Seth Rollins not being here. Angle says Rollins had some travel issues after his publicity tour of China but he’ll be here tonight.

Baron Corbin vs. Tyler Breeze

Corbin is picking both his and Finn Balor’s opponents tonight. Breeze has his old NXT music back for a nice change of pace. Corbin breaks up a wristlock attempt with a hard shove and we’re already in the chinlock. As the hold stays on, Renee and Corey argue over Corbin’s abuses of power. Breeze fights back with a dropkick to put Corbin on the floor, only to catch Breeze coming off the apron.

Graves asks Renee how she can prefer Balor to Corbin, with Renee saying she plays favorites a bit. We hit the second chinlock (someone has to be telling him to do that hold so often as he couldn’t be dumb enough to think it’s a good idea) but Breeze fights back up with a kick to the face. Corbin gets clotheslined to the floor, where he sidesteps a dive to send Breeze crashing to the floor. They get back in and a wicked Deep Six ends Breeze at 4:13.

Rating: D. The ending was the right result, even though it continues this really bad story between Corbin and Balor. I like Corbin using something other than his finisher to get the win here, as it fits the narrative of Corbin being big enough to beat someone that much smaller. Then when Balor kicks out of it on Sunday, he’ll look like a bigger star. Not a good match, but they kept it short.

Post match Corbin praises himself and brings out Balor’s opponent: Jinder Mahal. Actually hang on a second as we’ll throw in Kevin Owens to make it a handicap match.

Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor

Corbin introduces Balor as the little engine that can’t. Hang on again though as here’s Angle to give Balor a partner.

Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman

I had this written before Angle’s music stopped playing because WWE is that predictable. Strowman gets a heck of a home state reaction and Graves calls him the Meat Castle. Renee: “….the Meat Castle?” Jinder takes Balor down to start as Renee talks about her Monday meditation app. Renee: “Everybody get your chi right.” Balor rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Mahal but it’s quickly off to Owens for some stomping.

We hit the armbar for a bit but Balor slips out and knocks Owens down, allowing the hot tag to Strowman. Owens bails to the floor as Strowman runs over Mahal, followed by picking up an unsuspecting Balor and slamming him onto Jinder. It’s time for a big dive from Balor but Owens trips him (or at least swipes at his feet), drawing Braun over for the chase. That’s enough to put Mahal and Owens together for the big flip dive and we take a break.

Back with Mahal holding Balor in a chinlock (the same arm trap one that Corbin uses) before handing it off to Owens for some right hands to the head. That sounds like the time for an NXT Takeover: Brooklyn promo and we’re back WITH THE SAME MAHAL CHINLOCK. Balor comes back with a Sling Blade on Owens and there’s the hot tag to Strowman. After running Mahal over, Strowman heads outside for a lap around the ring, though this time he picks up Sunil Singh and drives him into Owens for a change of pace. Back in, Strowman shrugs off Mahal’s jumping knee and powerslams him for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: D+. As sick as I am of that chinlock, I’m at least slightly interested in Owens vs. Strowman. I’m not sure who is going to win there and they could go either way with the briefcase. That being said, Strowman is in big trouble if they have him drop the briefcase and not become Universal Champion at some point. Eventually you have to win something that matters, and being a failed Mr. Money in the Bank isn’t enough.

Post match Strowman chases Owens off, leaving Corbin to hit End of Days on Balor. For the love of all things good and holy, please let this terrible feud end on Sunday.

Angle can’t get hold of Rollins so here are Ziggler and McIntyre again to mock Rollins for not being here. If Rollins can’t be here for the contract signing, there’s no title match. Ziggler asks to see the contract for the title match to make sure nothing has slipped through the cracks. Angle calls them idiots after they leave.

Here’s a singer named Ricky Roberts, who says Elias is his favorite singer. He’s not very good right not but he’s going to wind up in the Country Music Hall of Fame. With a name like that, I’d expect him to be more of a Rock N Roll fan. Then Elias is going to come find him and he’ll say “Hello, I am Elias.”

Cue the real Elias to shill the What Would Elias Do bracelet and offer his respect to Roberts if he can beat Bobby Lashley tonight. Elias mentions his New York City concert on Saturday and mocks the North Carolina fans, but here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley says we already have a no talent musical clown around here so Roberts hits him with the guitar. The annoyed Lashley hits a heck of a spinebuster and glare at Elias. No vertical suplex?

Bo Dallas is doing the math before tonight’s triple threat match when Curtis Axel comes in to tell him to be positive. Dallas panics because the odds are lower against them than usual. Axel: “The odds are always against us.” Dallas has checked the numbers over and over, even DM’ing mathematicians on Twitter. Axel: “You can’t spell Raw Tag Team Champions without B team!” Dallas: “Or a whole bunch of other letters!” They’re going to go out there and run for their lives. B Team!

Ziggler and McIntyre are looking over the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. B Team

The B Team is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Wilder pulls Dallas into the corner to start and it’s already time to take turns on him. Matt comes in pretty quickly though and clotheslines Wilder in the corner (not a splash Cole), followed by a Side Effect for two. After a shout of V1 (little flashback), the middle rope elbow to the neck looks to set up the Twist of Fate. Dawson makes a blind tag though and a Hart Attack (nice touch) gets two. Wilder gets two more off a legdrop and we take a break.

Back with Wyatt hitting release Rock Bottoms on everyone but Axel (and Hardy, but I thought that was understood). Dawson sunset flips Wyatt, sending Axel flying in a German suplex at the same time. Wyatt heads outside and counters Wilder’s suicide dive into another Rock Bottom onto the apron. A dive off the steps from Dallas knocks Wyatt down but Hardy superplexes Dawson onto the big pile. Back in and the Revival reverses a double Sister Abigail into the Shatter Machine, only to have Axel steal the pin to retain at 10:30.

Rating: C. It dragged a bit at the beginning but they got to a nice pace for a few moments there after the break. The B Team retaining is fine and hopefully they don’t have a title match on Sunday. The card is already loaded and there’s no need to do a rematch, or just a two on two title match, and make the card even heavier than it already is. What we got here was good enough and the B Team’s roll continues.

The B Team celebration goes to the back and they run into an unimpressed Roman Reigns.

Ziggler has found an issue in the contract: Seth is allowed to have someone in his corner. Angle is willing to take it out if Drew isn’t allowed to be in Ziggler’s corner. Ziggler lets it go.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his last big speech before Sunday. Reigns says every day he tells himself to leave a place better than he found it. He can’t do that with Brock Lesnar still around though and Lesnar needs to go. Reigns is sick of hearing about him and seeing him so it ends at Summerslam. On Sunday, he’s taking back his Universal Title (which he’s never held) and sending Lesnar so far back into the UFC that his head will be stuck inside Dana White.

Cue a perky Paul Heyman to say it’s a new day, yes it is. If he was going to steal a line from someone on Smackdown though, it would be the Usos, who are the future of the tag team division. He doesn’t actually steal an Uso line, but he’s looking at the future of another division in Roman Reigns. Roman: “This is gonna be good y’all.” After being accused of crying on command, Heyman says Reigns can make history right here, right now. He brings up what he was about to mention last week in the interview: he’s willing to tell Reigns each and every single one of Lesnar’s secrets.

Reigns thinks he can beat Lesnar on his own, but with Heyman in his corner, he’s GUARANTEED to win the Universal Title. Heyman extends his hand and that gets a big YES chant. Reigns says he knows all those secrets already because he won in Saudi Arabia and would have done it a lot faster without Heyman. That’s true and Heyman hopes his sins won’t be held against him. Heyman sees himself as the new advocate for Reigns next week and offers his hand again.

Another YES chant gets turned down as Reigns talks about his father teaching him to swim with the sharks. He also knows how to see someone who is drowning, like Heyman. The thing is Heyman isn’t worth saving so the answer is no. Heyman talks about riding with Reigns’ father Sika and speaks some Samoan, which gets Reigns’ attention. Heyman even has an agreement written up, which Reigns can answer on Sunday.

As Reigns looks at it, Heyman pepper sprays him and leaves. Cue Brock Lesnar to beat Reigns up and put him out with a guillotine choke. Lesnar and Heyman walk up the ramp but Lesnar goes back for an F5. So did Heyman and Lesnar make up or was two weeks ago a big ruse? I ask rhetorically because I don’t expect an answer from WWE. Heyman was great here as usual and Reigns sounded good for a change. I still don’t want to see the match, but they did a nice job here.

Mojo Rawley/Authors of Pain vs. Titus Worldwide/Bobby Roode

Rezar runs Crews over to start and we hit the neck crank, meaning let’s have an inset promo about Rousey vs. Bliss. Back with Akam holding his own neck crank but Rawley comes in and can’t hit a belly to back suplex. Instead it’s a hot tag to Roode for some clotheslines and a Blockbuster for two. Everything breaks down and the Glorious DDT finishes Rawley at 2:47. At least it was short and ended clean, so expect multiple rematches in the coming weeks.

Reigns is getting his eyes washed out.

We get a tribute to Jim Neidhart, focusing on how he broke into the business and the Hart Foundation. Thankfully we get some of Neidhart’s over the top promos and laugh. I was worried when they didn’t even have a graphic earlier tonight so this was a welcome surprise.

The announcers talk about the Hart Foundation, including a mention of their Summerslam 1990 match with Demolition. I loved that one.

Summerslam rundown, including the Revival vs. the B Team added to the Kickoff Show. Better than adding it to the regular show. The Cruiserweight Title is on the Kickoff Show as well, because we NEED three matches on the Kickoff Show.

We look back at Rousey snapping and beating up Bliss’ security, including one running away in a funny bit.

Sasha Banks vs. Ruby Riott

Banks wastes no time in taking Riott down and pulling on her head. A very early Bank Statement has Riott in the ropes and they head to the floor. Ruby uses a Riott Squad distraction and kicks Banks into the steps, with her hand getting caught to really give Riott a target. Back in and Riott twists the hand around before stomping on it as we take a break.

We come back with Riott working on the hand until Sasha runs the corner for an armdrag to break the hold. The hand is hurting, so Banks dives onto Sarah Logan in a big crash. Liv Morgan pulls Banks off the apron so Bayley is right there for the save. Banks hits Ruby in the hand though and a rollup is good for the pin at 8:59.

Rating: C-. They’re going to add something else to Sunday aren’t they? This Bayley/Sasha feud has been running on a treadmill for months now and there’s no sign that it’s going to get better anytime soon. The hand thing was fine but how many times can we see these people wrestle over and over without getting anywhere?

Photos of Seth Rollins in China last week.

Rollins isn’t here so Corbin tells Angle that Stephanie will NOT be happy.

Here’s Angle for the contract signing, though first he says that Lesnar isn’t going to be suspended or stripped of the title, because he wants Reigns to bring the title back to Raw every week. Cue Ziggler and McIntyre to say they don’t believe Angle. He’s already lost one title match since Rollins isn’t here so Angle won’t let the other one fall through. Ziggler says there’s no Rollins here tonight because he’s scared.

Angle intros Rollins twice but no one shows up. McIntyre goes into a rant about why they got together in the first place: to battle complacency from people who think they belong on top just because they got here. People like Rollins are on top of that list because he worked so hard to get where he is. Ziggler would know because he did the same thing. The fans mean nothing though because the second a shiny object loses its luster, everyone turns on you.

It’ll happen to everyone because this vicious cycle can never end because of people like them. Where were they during the hard times? Ziggler knows what it’s like to have someone who has his back and now he doesn’t care about anyone in the crowd or in the back. He signs and here’s Rollins, just a few seconds late because for the first time ever, we don’t have a camera watching people show up.

Rollins has actually been here for awhile but he didn’t want to come out here until Ziggler actually signed. It’s true that he was dealing with travel issues, but they weren’t his travel issues. See, there was that clause in the contract about Rollins having someone in his corner because he’s tired of dealing with McIntyre all the time.

Since there’s going to be a Scottish psychopath in one corner, Rollins better have a lunatic in his. Cue the returning Dean Ambrose, now with a beard and a big haircut (he looks like a less muscular HHH), to a major reaction. The fight is on (with Renee not saying a word) and a superkick knocks McIntyre into Dirty Deeds and Rollins signs the contract to end the show.  I like the new look and this is exactly where the story should have gone.

Overall Rating: C+. The first hour was really, really rough with some flat out bad segments and stories (Corbin vs. Balor makes me want to rip by hair out, especially anything Corbin does) but the rest picked it up a few notches. Ambrose returning helped a lot and the Reigns/Heyman/Lesnar segment was quite good.

The biggest problem around here though is not knowing how to advance and then end stories. How many stories and feuds just keep going week after week and match after match? Corbin vs. Balor, Rollins vs. Ziggler, Bayley/Sasha and Reigns vs. Lesnar among others. That was on display tonight with several matches and segments that I feel like I’ve seen a dozen times already. There were some good ones, but this company needs a seminar in structuring a wrestling story. I’m more interested in Summerslam (at least parts of it) than I was coming in though so we’ll call it a slight success.

Results

Ember Moon b. Alexa Bliss via DQ when Alicia Fox interfered

Baron Corbin b. Tyler Breeze – Deep Six

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman b. Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens – Powerslam to Mahal

B Team b. Revival and Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Shatter Machine to Wyatt

Titus Worldwide/Bobby Roode b. Authors of Pain/Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT to Rawley

Ruby Riott b. Sasha Banks – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2004
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before Wrestlemania and we’ve got a guest star with Steve Austin in the house. Tonight should focus heavily on the Smackdown side of things but there’s a good chance that we’ll be seeing more of the interpromotional matches. That’s not the worst idea in the world as it’s not like the blue only matches are the hottest things in the world. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Brock Lesnar, which has turned into the real feud since Goldberg isn’t around at the moment.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena for the opening match but first he has to rap about chasing the US Title like Big Show chases the ice cream truck. Show is a mark for himself and plays Blackjack alone to beat his own hand. Oh and Cena is large in a rather specific area.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena drives him into the corner to start and gets two off the Throwback. Rhyno’s spinebuster slows Cena down but he shrugs off a knee to the ribs. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and FU to send Cena into Wrestlemania strong.

The locker room (save for the top stars of course) has a meeting in the locker room with Paul Heyman giving a speech. Just like last week, he’s willing to fight for Smackdown because he’s really good for this place. What’s good for Smackdown is good for the wrestlers because it puts food on the table and sends their kids to college. Steve Austin is coming tonight and doesn’t want their kids to go to college.

Austin is here to deal with Brock Lesnar (nowhere to be seen at the moment) and Smackdown can’t let that happen. Everyone better volunteer to help with this because at some point tonight, Lesnar is going to lead them in a battle to defend their turf. No one messes with their Smackdown but no one actually agrees to help. How many times do you think Heyman gave a nearly identical speech to ECW? No one can sell it like Heyman and this was really entertaining. Rather illogical and over the top, but entertaining.

Hall of Fame video.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

The Chavos are on commentary with Jr. trying to figure out why he’s defending against nine guys. Tazz: “Why does the #8 contender get a shot?” That’s a completely fair question and I’d love an answer. Rey grabs him by the hand and walks the ropes for a springboard headscissors but gets caught on top. The sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble in a hurry and the moonsault press gets two. The 619 is loaded up but here are Akio/Sakoda/Tajiri for what should be a DQ, but let’s wait for the other cruiserweights to come in to make it a no contest.

Rating: D+. They needed some more time of course but at least we’re going to be seeing something else besides just this match. Noble was just starting to heat up as a face when they turned him heel all over again so there’s not much hope for him at the moment. Mysterio is the real challenger for the title though and really, it should have just been him vs. Chavo on Sunday.

Billy Kidman/Funaki/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Akio/Sakoda/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress with Dragon hitting a Japanese armdrag on Tajiri and bringing in Kidman for a good looking dropkick. Chavo Sr. doesn’t want to hear about anything other than his son, which includes Funaki working on Tajiri’s arm. Akio comes in for some more luck with a cross arm choke and a spinwheel kick to take over on Funaki. Some baseball slide dropkicks to Funaki in the Tree of Woe get two as everyone is getting a chance here.

Cole rips on the Chavos so Tazz tells him to go frost his hair in a line that was funnier than it should have been. It’s off to Noble for a hard legdrop as Cole gets on Tazz for not calling the match. Cole: “Nonetheless Sunday, the title on the line with ten men!” Noble’s chinlock doesn’t quite work but Chavo Sr.’s Spanish ramblings make it a little better.

Funaki kicks Jamie away and brings in Rey, sending commentary even further into insanity. A Code Red gives Mysterio two and everything breaks down. There’s the 619 to Noble but Sr. gets on the apron. Jr. holds Mysterio for Noble, who hits Jr. by mistake and a hurricanrana gives Mysterio the fast pin.

Rating: C. That was a lot more like it, especially with the hilarious commentary. Sr. ranting and raving about how great Jr. was and how unfair everything was to his son was tremendous and made the match a lot better. It’s also a good idea to let the cruiserweights shine before Sunday in a match whose rules haven’t actually been announced yet.

Post match, Shannon Moore and Nunzio come in to keep up with the brawling.

Heyman gives the FBI a pep talk about getting rid of Austin but he gets a message saying that Austin is in the arena. Actually he’s at the beer stand. Heyman runs off shouting for Brock.

Long recap of Heyman’s issues with Eddie Guerrero, including last week’s great closing angle with Kurt Angle destroying the helpless Eddie.

Here’s Eddie for a match but first he wants to call out Angle for what happened last week. This is Angle’s chance to get rid of him once and for all. Eddie is the only WWE Champion who tells kids to lie, cheat and steal but since there’s no Angle, he must have no testicular fortitude. Angle isn’t fooling anyone because he’s not coming out here. Eddie talks about being an addict, which is the kind of person Angle would want to take out. Once Eddie wins at Wrestlemania, he’s going to lie, cheat and steal more than ever before. What a weird face, but that smile is more than enough to make it work.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Shelton hits an early suplex and sticks the landing off a monkey flip to avoid a crash. Eddie sends him outside though and takes care of Charlie Haas too, earning Haas an ejection for his efforts. Back from a break with Eddie grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shelton hiptosses his way to freedom. Shelton’s arm is banged up so he has to settle for a belly to back suplex instead of a German suplex.

Shelton whips him into the ropes….and we’re edited to Eddie coming off another rope (he was sent into the ropes on the hard camera side and was then coming off the ropes facing the set) for a faceplant. I’m assuming there was a heck of a botch in there and that wasn’t the smoothest edit in the world. Eddie gets all fired up and Shelton doesn’t know what to do as the comeback is on.

A backdrop sets up the rolling vertical suplexes but the ref gets bumped. Cue Haas to throw Shelton the title but Eddie dropkicks it back into Shelton’s face. Haas and Benjamin get a belt shot each and Eddie drops down so the referee won’t know what happened. As usual, cheating can be smart. Eddie staggers to his feet, smiles at the audience, and hits the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. I remember watching Eddie’s rise to the top of the show when I was a teenager and I didn’t give it nearly the credit that it deserved. Eddie is just so, so good out there with the wrestling being perfectly smooth and the mannerisms being even better. He’s just such a treat to watch and somehow seems to be getting better every single time, if that’s possible.

Post match Angle comes out and motions that the belt is his.

Sable and Torrie Wilson were at the Playboy 50^th Anniversary party. They giggle about their match at Wrestlemania.

Heyman’s correspondents have lost Austin. Orlando Jordan walks through a door and Heyman makes sure he’s going to do what’s right for Smackdown. Jordan says he will, but he respects Austin. Heyman threatens to fire him.

Big Show vs. John Walters/Arch Kincaid

Walters is a minor indy name who has worked for ROH before and was a semi-regular WWE jobber around this time. Both guys get thrown around a lot and the chokeslam Walters in about a minute.

Post match Cena comes in and takes out Show’s knee.

We look back at last week’s setup for the four way Tag Team Title match.

Heyman is very glad to run into the APA as they can do what’s right for Smackdown. They agree, without saying anything specific about what they’ll do.

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers

Non-title. Doug sends Scotty into the corner to start so it’s a headlock to slow Doug down. A blind tag brings in Danny to kick him in the head though and the Bashams take over without much effort. We’re already in the chinlock, followed by a legdrop for two. Danny misses a charge in the corner and a slide between his legs is enough for the hot tag to Rikishi. Doug gets kicked to the floor but he switches place to save Danny from the Stinkface. He charges at Rikishi….and gets superkicked for the pin. Well that was sudden.

Rating: D. The ending was pretty odd and I’m not sure what the point is in having the champs get a clean pin over some of their challengers three days before the pay per view title match. At least they didn’t have it go on too long though as it’s not like there is anything beneath this on the Wrestlemania card.

Video on Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which has turned into a mess after what should have been a layup. Austin as guest referee really does feel like a last ditch effort to save the thing.

Austin’s truck has been moved.

Clip of Kane ranting about Undertaker on Raw and being told it all begins again Sunday.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Here’s Paul Heyman, flanked by a big chunk of the Smackdown roster. Post break Heyman brings out Brock Lesnar, who calls out Austin for a fight. This is his ring and if Austin is here for some knuckle sandwiches, he better bring a bunch. Cue Austin who backs his truck into the arena and stares down the mob. They step aside and let him pass, even as Heyman shouts GET HIM over and over. Big Show is the only one to stand in front of Austin but, after a staredown, even he lets Austin go.

The locker room leaves and Austin teases getting in but takes the ATV instead. He stops it in the aisle though and turns around, holding up the key. Cole: “That’s the key.” Tazz: “Yeah I know.” Austin wins a slugout and posts Lesnar before throwing him inside. A Stunner takes Heyman down but Lesnar is back up. The F5 and Stunner are countered and the bleeding Lesnar leaves, I believe in his final ever appearance on Smackdown. The ATV is ridden and loaded into the truck so Austin can drink beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from the go home show, save for the ending which was pretty off, considering it was a referee beating up a wrestler. It was good to let Eddie get something back before the pay per view and the wrestling was mostly watchable. I actually thought Raw did a better job of making me want to see Wrestlemania as this show was fine with a big angle that involved what’s available from one of the biggest matches. Not bad, but it’s time for Wrestlemania.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I either want to buy him a steak or break his legs.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-hey-hes-good-man/

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 6, 2018
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

With less than two weeks to go before Summerslam, we have the main event set, along with the issues between Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle. It’s hard to say what else we might get set up in the next two shows, but tonight will be focused on Ronda Rousey’s in-ring TV debut. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video showing the whole Lesnar/Paul Heyman/Angle story from last week.

Opening sequence.

Here are Angle and Baron Corbin with Kurt hyping up Rousey’s match tonight. She’s a former UFC Champion who has no problem fighting on Raw. Corbin warns Angle to watch it but Angle goes on a rant about Brock having no integrity after last week. Heyman still has his job though because he did get Lesnar out to the ring before the show. Cue Roman Reigns to interrupt to say Lesnar attacked because the Big Dog wasn’t here to protect the yard.

Corbin laughs at this but Reigns is worried about a potential Lesnar suspension. That’s not happening and the Summerslam match is still on. Angle wants to see Reigns give Lesnar the beating he deserves, which Corbin thinks is rather unprofessional. Reigns accuses Corbin of running away last week but Corbin says he left after beating up Finn Balor. The guy who actually won the Universal Title. Corbin yells at Angle for just being the guy that makes matches so Angle makes Reigns vs. Corbin right now.

Roman Reigns vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin hits him in the face before the bell but Reigns gives him a Superman Punch for two. Back from an early break with Corbin sliding under the bottom rope for the clothesline, giving Reigns a look like he just dislodged something from his throat. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Corbin just slams Reigns head first onto the mat. He’s not the most diverse guy in the ring but he can make things look painful.

Another chinlock goes on for a few more moments so Reigns fights up with a clothesline to the floor. The apron dropkick connects but Corbin posts him to send us to a second break in less than nine minutes. Back with Corbin holding a chinlock (dude, enough) and Reigns fighting up with clotheslines (dude, also enough).

The Deep Six gets two but Reigns hits his second (a lot of repeating in this match) Superman Punch for the same. Corbin looks to take a walk, drawing out Finn Balor to cut him off. The third Superman Punch, this one off the steps, drops Corbin and the spear gives Reigns the pin at 18:45.

Rating: D. Back in the 80s, Dusty Rhodes yelled at Big Bubba Rogers for botching a move. His words: “Don’t do s*** you don’t know how to do.” That’s the case with putting Baron Corbin in these long matches. He doesn’t know how to do them and we’ve seen him go nearly forty minutes combined in the last two weeks with about six chinlocks combined. Corbin has two cool moves. Let him do those, then get out in about eight minutes. The matches are boring and Reigns wasn’t helping things here. Also, who is Reigns going 18 minutes with a guy like Corbin less than two weeks before the World Title match at Summerslam?

Post match Balor dropkicks Corbin into the corner and hits the Coup de Grace.

We recap Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre jumping Seth Rollins again last week.

Rollins comes in to see Angle and gets a tag match set up for tonight with a partner to be named. They wouldn’t bring Dean Ambrose back tonight would they?

Bobby Roode vs. Mojo Rawley

Fallout from last week’s brawl in the locker room. Roode slugs away and dropkicks Rawley off the apron as we take a break. Back with Rawley holding a waistlock (better than another chinlock) and dropping a knee to the ribs for two. The waistlock goes on again (Mojo: “How you feel right now? A little bit glorious?”) until Roode fights back with more right hands. Roode’s neckbreaker drops Rawley and the Blockbuster does it again. Rawley tries a fireman’s carry but Roode slips out and hits the Glorious DDT for the pin at 8:08.

Rating: D+. You build Mojo up for a few weeks and have Roode pin him clean? Other than the song, what is there to like about Roode? The match was more boring stuff as neither guy showed any energy and, just like the first match, a lot of it was spent in a hold on the mat. The ribs didn’t even go anywhere this time. I like Rawley so I’m annoyed to see him lose, but having it be to Roode is even worse.

Elias is in the back and seems to be in the middle of filming another documentary. The first one was decent enough so why not.

Here’s Elias to play some guitar. He brags about the album’s success, which is pretty impressive to only have four songs. The documentary came out last week but it was wrong, which is why he’s filming his own version. Elias wants the camera crew to circle around him but the audience isn’t right. Maybe their faces could be blurred or cropped out with another crowd? I don’t think Elias knows what cropping means. Elias isn’t happy, just like he wasn’t last week when bobby Lashley interrupted him.

Cue Lashley to say that he liked the original documentary but Elias wasn’t a fan. That thing made him seem egotistical! Lashley is here to steal the spotlight, just like when he came back in April. Lashley’s comeback has been a joke, but he doesn’t want to hear anything else from Elias. The filming crew leaves and Elias throws a clipboard at him so the beatdown can be on. Lashley gets in a spinebuster and has the cameraman film while he gives Elias the delayed suplex. At least do a delayed Jackhammer.

Cole makes it clear that Ambrose will NOT be Rollins’ partner. Thanks for taking care of the option people might be interested in seeing.

Tyler Breeze offers to be Rollins’ partner, saying he’s kind of gorgeous if you’re into that whole Crossfit Jesus look. Breeze offers the Shield fist when Reigns comes in to say he has Seth’s back. In case 18 minutes of Reigns wasn’t enough for you.

Titus O’Neil vs. Rezar

Rezar knocks Titus down as we hear about his MMA career. Titus’ right hands give him a breather and a big boot rocks Rezar. Akam offers a distraction though and Rezar gets in a big boot of his own. A spinebuster finishes Titus at 3:12.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this match, the announcers talked about Titus being almost a hometown boy here after college and his charity’s big Back to School Bash event, which was a really cool event. Better make sure to do this match, which could have been swapped with last week’s match IMMEDIATELY because this great feud, which started with the Authors squashing Titus Worldwide in two minutes, needs to be advanced. Little things like that almost bother me as much as the big dumb things they do.

Braun Strowman vs. Jinder Mahal

Clip of Rollins and Reigns doing the Shield pose with a fan over the weekend.

Corbin gives Angle a phone call from Stephanie McMahon, who has an order for him. Angle isn’t pleased.

We get a sitdown interview with Reigns to talk about his match with Lesnar. We go through their whole history, including the great Wrestlemania XXXI match, the pretty bad Wrestlemania XXXIV match, the stupid Greatest Royal Rumble match and then last week’s Lesnar segment, which really had nothing to do with Reigns. He’s sick of Lesnar using WWE and disrespecting the fans, so Lesnar is learning a lesson at Summerslam.

This was a long recap of their story, and did little more than tell us that it’s been going on for a very long time. Your stat of the night: Lesnar has held the title 487 days. He’s had five televised title defenses and three of them have been against Reigns. Two of them have also involved Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman. In total, four different people have gotten title shots in 487 days.

Corbin tells Reigns that he can’t be Rollins’ partner due to Stephanie’s orders. If he tries to wrestle, he’ll lose his Summerslam title shot. Handicap match time, but only after Reigns punches Corbin in the ribs.

Balor vs. Corbin is set for Summerslam.

Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler

Rollins slaps McIntyre in the face and gets a chase going, setting up a low superkick to really put him down. Ziggler distracts Rollins on top though and McIntyre tries to catch a high crossbody. I say try because McIntyre kind of drops him on the knee but Rollins seems to be ok.

The armbar goes on for a good while until Ziggler comes in for the first time. It’s not a good time though as he misses a charge in the corner, allowing Rollins a much needed breather. McIntyre posts himself and it’s a Sling Blade to Ziggler. The suicide dive sends Ziggler into the barricade and there’s the buckle bomb back inside. Rollins avoids the Fameasser but McIntyre runs him over again. The superkick puts Rollins away at 7:07.

Rating: C-. I can’t count how many times I’ve said this in recent years, but I’m already burned out watching these two fight. Starting with Ziggler’s title win on June 18, that’s the sixth time he and Rollins have been against each other in some form. You have this big of a roster and there’s no other way to do this feud? Have them fight some jobbers to the stars and then cut promos. Is that really thinking outside the box anymore?

Replays show that Ziggler wasn’t legal. Ok then.

Video on Alicia Fox, trying to make her seem important before her match with Rousey. Did you know she’s been on Total Divas???

B-Team vs. Revival

Non-title. B-Team now has a very new theme, sounding like a high school cheer. I liked their old theme but this fits them much better. Wilder and Axel start with the former being taken into the wrong corner. Dallas comes in and gets the same treatment, with Revival clubberin away. It’s off to Dawson for a chinlock….and there go the lights. They come back up and it’s Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt on the apron instead. The two of them come in and it’s a no contest at 3:10.

Rating: D. Well at least Revival didn’t lose. We can have the triple threat match at Summerslam because Heaven forbid we don’t have one of those crammed in. This division isn’t in great shape right now and Matt/Bray aren’t really adding anything to it other than a face team. But hey, at least another comedy team gets the titles.

We get a sitdown interview with Paul Heyman, who doesn’t know where he stands with Brock Lesnar. Brock has disconnected his phone number and won’t respond to intermediaries. Heyman looks like he’s about to burst into tears as he says Lesnar is just going to get annoyed at this interview. He considers Lesnar a friend and this isn’t how he pictured it ending.

They had talked about riding off into the sunset together with the Universal and UFC Heavyweight Championships on his shoulders. Heyman starts crying but says just do it. When asked about any potential new clients, Heyman says it would be inconceivable just a week ago, but doesn’t say year or no. He still picks Lesnar, because he’s never been so angry. Reigns doesn’t stand a chance. This was the best thing on the show tonight, mainly because it was actually different.

We look back at Strowman turning over the stage.

Summerslam recap.

Riott Squad vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Sasha starts with Morgan and sends her face first into the middle buckle. Bayley comes in for the sliding clothesline and an armbar on Logan. The middle rope crossbody gets two but Bayley goes hard into the corner to put her in trouble. Back from a break with Logan holding a chinlock (of course) to keep Bayley down. Bayley powers up and sends her into the corner before avoiding a charge from Morgan.

The hot tag brings in Banks to clean house, including a knee to Logan’s face. The super hurricanrana from Bayley sets up the top rope Meteora for two on Logan with Morgan making the save. Bayley loads up a dive from the apron but a hooded woman pulls Morgan out of the way. The hood comes off to reveal Ruby Riott, whose distraction lets Logan roll Banks up for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. I’m glad to have Ruby back but I’m so over the Bayley/Sasha program. Are we supposed to be setting up a handicap match for Summerslam? We went from the I love you to this in the span of three weeks? I can understand why they would back off of that, but a little closure, even a line explaining why it’s barely been mentioned since then, would have been nice. Or at least any kind of story to be seen here.

Video on Ronda Rousey’s WWE career so far, including her success and being in the title match when Alexa Bliss cashed in Money in the Bank, setting up their match at Summerslam.

Next week: B-Team vs. Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt for the Tag Team Titles.

Ronda Rousey vs. Alicia Fox

Natalya and Alexa Bliss are the seconds. Before the match, Bliss is asked about Rousey and mocks the interviewer for not being able to come up with something better. Fox shows a clip of herself beating up Rousey last week and talks about how great Rousey is at everything else. Was she the captain of the Raw Survivor Series team? Bliss cuts her off and thanks Fox for everything she’s done. Rousey can deal with what’s left of Rousey in Brooklyn and here’s Rousey to cut her off.

We get the Big Match Intros and Fox chills in the corner at the bell. Rousey isn’t impressed by the trash talk and shoves her to the floor. Back in and Fox bails right back to the floor again. A Bliss distraction doesn’t work very well as Natalya cuts her off, only to be posted. Fox tries a charge at the distracted Rousey but the referee stops her for some reason.

Fox pounds away in the corner….and there’s the death stare. The rights and lefts have Fox rocked and the judo throws have Fox rocked. Fox bails for the third time but Rousey follows her for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Fox gets suplexed with ease, followed by the armbar (with a lot of shouting to Bliss) for the tap at 3:47.

Rating: C+. The stuff where Rousey was smashing Fox was fun but this would have been better served as bell, armbar, bell. To be fair though, it’s kind of hard to complain when Rousey beating the heck out of people is some of the most entertaining stuff WWE can do. Maybe not as fun as WWE trying to turn Fox into something worthy of the spot but still fun nonetheless.

Post match Rousey gets interviewed by Bliss tries a sneak attack. Rousey flips her over and gives Bliss a look saying “are you kidding me?” Bliss bails and Rousey promises to win the title.

Overall Rating: D. This was the rough show that only WWE can pull off. The Heyman promo and the Rousey destruction were fun but other than that, it felt like WWE dragging us along on the way to Summerslam whether we like it or not. It’s the same problem that has been around for so long: it’s really hard to make myself are about the same matches on pay per view that I’ve seen on TV so many times already. The Reigns vs. Lesnar stuff has been a rough sit and I have a feeling it’s not going to be the end of Reigns being screwed out of the title. I didn’t like this show and it was getting harder and harder to watch all night long.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Baron Corbin – Spear

Bobby Roode b. Mojo Rawley – Glorious DDT

Rezar b. Titus Worldwide – Spinebuster

Jinder Mahal b. Braun Strowman via DQ when Strowman used the briefcase

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Seth Rollins – Superkick

B-Team vs. Revival went to a no contest when Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy interfered

Riott Squad b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Rollup to Banks

Ronda Rousey b. Alicia Fox – Armbar

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: August 2, 2018
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph

You never know what you’re going to get around here and that’s one of the reasons that makes this show interesting. Well as interesting as it’s going to be. This week’s TV was the usual up and down so it all comes down to the match and segment selections, plus whatever new stuff they have. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Nikolai Volkoff and Brian Christopher.

Opening sequence.

Zack Ryder vs. Mike Kanellis

Didn’t we see this last week? Ryder starts fast with a faceplant and flapjack as the announcers talk about him being only a single win away from being a Grand Slam winner. Egads what a thought. Kanellis sends him face first into the middle buckle though and fires off some shoulders in the corner. We’re already off to the chinlock but the Woode Awakening gets Ryder out of trouble. Ryder goes to the middle rope, only to drive into a powerbomb for two. A good superkick gives Kanellis two but Ryder catches him on top with a super hurricanrana. The Broski Boot sets up the Rough Ryder for the pin at 5:44.

Rating: C. This match had no right to be any good but they worked hard and got a good match out of it. Kanellis could be worth something if they gave him a better gimmick and had Maria to get him some heat. Ryder continues to be great at what he does, but it would be nice to have him actually get the chance to do it every now and then.

From Smackdown.

Renee Young brings out Becky Lynch for a chat. Becky knew she would get back to the top of the mountain if she kept fighting. She hasn’t had a title match since Wrestlemania XXXIII nearly a year and a half ago. Now she’s back and just has to beat Carmella again to become Smackdown Women’s Champion again. Becky wants to go into Evolution as the champion but here’s Carmella to interrupt.

Carmella admits that she lost fair and square last week and that scares her. Becky has worked her way to the top and has been there to mentor Carmella every step of the way. She was the first woman to be drafted to Smackdown and Carmella was literally the last person drafted. With some tears in her eyes, Carmella talks about having to block out all the haters who say she’s not worthy of the title.

Now she’s getting to go into the biggest match of her career against her idol and they’re going to kill it. We’ll ignore why Carmella would want to have a great match rather than successfully defend her title but here’s James Ellsworth’s music. The distraction lets Carmella jump Becky from behind (as you knew was coming) and load up a chair. Cue the returning Charlotte for the save.

From later in the night.

Charlotte vs. Carmella

Non-title but if Charlotte wins, the title match at Summerslam is a triple threat. Before the match, Carmella says her fashion sense is just as flawless as her wrestling abilities. Charlotte may not want to admit it but Becky is rooting against her. Carmella moon walks away to start so Charlotte shoulders her down and says all night baby.

A t-bone suplex into a nipup puts Carmella on the floor but Charlotte misses the slingshot dive. Carmella sends her into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Charlotte missing a moonsault and getting sent outside so Carmella can stomp away. Carmella takes her down with a chinlock and things slow a bit.

Charlotte fights up and hits a big boot before sending Carmella outside for a moonsault off the barricade. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two but the Figure Eight attempt is broken up. Carmella’s superkick gets two and she can’t believe all these kickouts. For some reason Carmella tries the Figure Four but gets reversed into the Figure Eight for the tap at 12:46.

Rating: C-. You know, I really could go for something other than putting two challengers over the champ to set up a title match. Granted I could also go for the lack of triple threat matches. It’s cool that Charlotte is back and there’s nothing wrong with putting her right into the title scene, but egads I’m over the triple threat title matches, especially if Carmella retains and we go on to Becky vs. Carmella one on one like we could have had in the first place.

From Raw.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Bliss and Rousey are the seconds. Natalya goes aggressive to start and tries an early Sharpshooter but Fox gets to the floor and pulls Natalya into the ring skirt. After beating the heck out of a tied up Natalya, Fox grabs the chinlock inside. That goes as long as you might expect but an abdominal stretch lasts a lot longer. Fox even one ups it by jumping up and wrapping her legs around Natalya’s waist (that’s a new one). The bridging northern lights suplex gets two and Fox goes after Rousey, allowing Bliss to get in a cheap shot. Fox’s running big boot is good for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. There’s something likable about Fox and it’s good to have her back. If nothing else another person on the roster lets you keep some matches fresh instead of burning through the same ones over and over again. The match was more storyline than wrestling but Fox looked better than she did in most of her pre-injury matches.

Post match Rousey goes after Fox and hits the spinning Samoan drop. The numbers get the better of her for a bit but the villains get chased off.

From Smackdown again.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to plug Evolution (this is why I wanted to wait for after Summerslam, as Evolution is getting almost as much if not more attention) because it makes him think of his wife Brie Bella. Brie was in the ring when the Give Divas A Chance campaign started. The two of them have fought for respect for years now but every time they’ve taken a step forward, it’s been two steps back.

We see a clip from last week of Miz throwing the fake baby at Bryan and beating him down. That bothers him because Miz taunted him for two years while hiding behind the wall of Bryan’s injury. But then Bryan was cleared and Miz had to find a new way to hide. Last week Maryse and the baby were the new wall because Miz knows he would get destroyed in a fight.

Miz pops up on screen with security around him. He doesn’t want to hear this from Bryan because we’re not in the indies. If Bryan wants to fight, call Miz’s agent because he’s on the set of Miz and Mrs. right now. Bryan calls him a coward again so Miz brings up the Talking Smack segment from 2016. This right here, the eternal conflict, is all Bryan wants because it’s what furthers Bryan’s career. It took Bryan ten years of fighting on the indies to get noticed but Miz just yelled at Bryan for five minutes and got famous.

Bryan says that’s the difference between the two of them: Bryan is in this for the passion and Miz just wants fame. It’s been done before and better, but Miz is never going to be the Rock or John Cena. If Miz needs a big stage, come fight Bryan at Summerslam. Miz laughs it off and says the YES Movement is dead because everyone has moved on. No one wants to hear from Bryan because all the fans see when they look at him is this, and the screen is filled with pictures of crying babies. More great stuff from these two as there’s a natural chemistry there and I’m fine with waiting on the match announcement, as it’s not like it’s a secret.

Curt Hawkins vs. Tyler Breeze

Breeze takes him into the corner to start as Percy talks about seeing Breeze wearing Crocs. Hawkins scores with a knee to the ribs and blocks a sunset flip. A whip to the corner has Breeze down and we take a break. Back with Hawkins elbowing him in the face but missing the top rope version. The Stroke gives Hawkins two and a heck of a clothesline is good for the same as frustration is setting in. Instead of taking his time, Hawkins goes over to Breeze and eats a Supermodel Kick. The Unprettier gives Breeze the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. Breeze is someone who could have been something special on the main roster but they had to reset everything once he got to the main roster because NXT serves no real purpose as a developmental program most of the time. At least he got somewhere with the Fashion Police thing but I had a great time watching him in NXT and now this is a big night for him.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Samoa Joe with a message to AJ. He puts a stool in the ring and talks about how much he respects what AJ has done for the title, making it the most prestigious in WWE (the fans gasped a bit on that). AJ has put the title in front of what he wants and even in front of his own family. Last week AJ came out here and told a story about being able to talk to his daughter about being anything she wants to be.

The truth is that AJ is barely home long enough to hug his child, let alone look her in the eye. AJ is more comfortable living out of a suitcase than being at home with his family. He’s a great champion, even though he’s a failure as a father. Come Summerslam, AJ’s family will be cheering for Joe because it means they’ll have daddy back but Joe will be WWE Champion. This was more great stuff and as usual, it’s not about what Joe is saying but rather the intensity with which he says it. In a word, Joe comes off as real and that’s something most people can’t do in wrestling anymore.

We look at Paul Heyman trying to get Brock Lesnar to go to the ring on Monday. That meal he listed still makes me a bit hungry, save for the medium well steak.

From Raw again.

Here are Angle and Corbin to address Heyman and Lesnar. Heyman does come out with no energy, knowing what’s about to happen. The fans greet him with the Goodbye Song and Heyman says Lesnar isn’t coming out here tonight. That sends Angle over the edge into a rant about what a champion does, like doing charity work, reaching out to the community, and DEFENDING THE TITLE. Angle: “BROCK LESNAR MUST BE THE WORST UNIVERSAL CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!” Fans: “YES!!!”

Heyman actually agrees and says he tried to rehabilitate Lesnar because he’s one of the few people Lesnar tolerates. Kurt doesn’t buy it but Heyman says take this out on Lesnar because Brock doesn’t respect anyone. However, Heyman thinks the world of Angle and would like to have a better working relationship with him. Angle fires him anyway, sending Heyman diving to Angle’s leg.

Cue Lesnar to give Heyman the greatest relief of his life. Lesnar finally gets in and hands the belt to Heyman before grabbing a mic. That’s rarely a good idea. He asks if Angle and Corbin have a problem with him….and there’s an F5 to Angle before a word is said. Corbin immediately leaves and Heyman slaps Brock on the back. Brock grabs him by the face and makes Heyman look at Angle. The fans want Strowman (or maybe Roman) but get Brock leaving to end the show. So yeah, that’s it and no, this isn’t going to get the result that the company wants, especially in New York.

Overall Rating: C. The opening match was good and the rest of the show did its job of recapping the rest of the week. Summerslam continues to not be the hottest build in the world as there’s a lot going on and not enough time to focus on most of it, but that’s the case for a lot of the big shows. Lesnar vs. Reigns is one of the least interesting main events in a long time and while the fans are starting to boo him, they’re not exactly thrilled with Roman (I’m still not sure if the cheers were Roman or Strowman on Monday). That’s the biggest story and with that on top, there isn’t much time for the rest.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 4, 2004
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two shows left before Wrestlemania and the show is mostly set on the blue side. It includes the best built match on the card with Smackdown World Champion Eddie Guerrero defending against Kurt Angle. Last week Angle turned it into a morality play, which makes for an interesting story between the two. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Paul Heyman is in his office and welcomes us to the show, which is a very stressful time for him. He narrates a recap of last week’s show with Eddie trying to get at Angle and getting arrested for his efforts, which Heyman says is a familiar place for him. Tonight, both of them will get to tell their side of the story live, in the ring. By that, he means Eddie is ordered to apologize.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin’s music hits and here’s Brock Lesnar riding out on Austin’s ATV. Lesnar admits to stealing the ATV (I think he’s made that clear) and says it’ll drive over anything, except a tow truck. Unlike Austin, Lesnar has the courage to come on another man’s show and do something he feels like doing. We get a clip of the F5 to Austin and Lesnar promises that Goldberg is next. Actually someone else is next.

Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar

Holly charges in and kicks Lesnar to the floor but walks into a big spinebuster back inside. It’s already off to the gutwrench that dominated their Royal Rumble match because it worked so well the first time. As Cole calls their Royal Rumble match a classic (egads man), Holly fights up but gets clotheslined outside. Holly manages to post the shoulder and gets two off a belly to back suplex. Lesnar shakes that off though and hits the F5 for the pin. Too short to rate but much more energetic and better than the “classic” at the Rumble.

Post match Lesnar has some beers to Austin’s music.

Danny Basham vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty headlocks him down to start and hits a suplex into some dancing. That earns him a posting and a Fujiwara armbar (makes sense) keeps the shoulder in trouble. The hold doesn’t last long (they probably don’t have the time) so Scotty comes up with a superkick but the referee yells at Rikishi. The distraction lets Doug come in instead, setting up a small package for the pin on Scotty. Just a way to set up the title match at Wrestlemania.

Video on Angle vs. Guerrero.

Angle joins us via satellite and talks about all the horrible things you hear athletes doing today. You can’t open the paper without seeing someone with a drug or legal issue. He’s not going to let that happen again with Eddie. Cole talks about Eddie’s public apology tonight but Eddie isn’t buying it. Would Cole be ok with his children acting like Eddie? If his actions are able to change one person’s mind about Eddie, the boos are worth it. He won’t let people like Eddie take over this company.

This was a great lesson in heel psychology. A heel doesn’t have to be right in their actions. All they have to do is justify their actions in their own mind, which is what Angle has done here. Angle has turned heel, but he still thinks he’s doing the right thing and views himself as the hero in the whole thing. That makes for a great heel turn and Angle is selling it very well.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Funaki

Non-title. Funaki dropkicks him to the floor to start and adds a baseball slide to break up some consultation with Chavo Sr. Back in and Chavo takes over with a shot to the ribs and an abdominal stretch. With the hold on, Chavo Sr. jumps on commentary to complain about his son having to defend the title nine times at Wrestlemania. Funaki gets two off a bulldog as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled here. A high crossbody drops Chavo but Sr. gets on the apron for a distraction. Chavo rams the back of Funaki’s neck into his knee and steals the pin after kind of a weird finish.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point is in having Chavo win the match here and take away whatever momentum Funaki could have as a challenger. I know he doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title but why give him a loss when you don’t have to? This could have been good if they had some more time but at three and a half minutes, it’s the longest match on the show so far.

Heyman tells Dawn Marie that it’s time for Eddie’s apology.

Video on the South Africa tour.

Heyman and Dawn Marie are in the ring but he sends her to the back in case things get ugly. Here’s Eddie (on foot this week) and Heyman lays out the reasons Eddie needs to apologize, including knocking Dawn Marie down last week. Eddie actually apologizes….but he was lying! He even mocks Heyman for falling for something like that and looking like the deer in the headlights. Eddie is proud of being a father, husband and the WWE Champion who represents these fans. He going to walk into Wrestlemania XX as WWE Champion but then he’s walking out just the same.

Heyman is livid and says the only thing he disdains more than Eddie as WWE Champion is Eddie as a person. He wishes his hands weren’t tied by the board of directors or he’d give Eddie a beating himself. Eddie: “You couldn’t beat me if I had both hands tied behind my back.” You can figure out where this, including the ending of the show, is going. Heyman makes a match between the two of them for later tonight with Eddie handcuffed. Eddie’s face is perfect as he couldn’t look more relaxed about the whole thing.

Billy Kidman/Ultimo Dragon/Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri/Sakoda/Akio

It needs the time, but I can’t believe the Cruiserweight Open is getting two matches of build. Or that Dragon is still employed. Dragon misses an early spinwheel kick but settles for rolling out of a sunset flip and kicking Sakoda in the chest. Tajiri and Kidman come in with more kicks having Kidman in trouble.

Akio slaps on a bearhug as Tazz completely loses himself in a discussion of what would happen if Tajiri and Akio wind up fighting for the title. Even Cole calls him out for making no sense and Tazz actually concedes. You know it’s stupid if even he’ll admit it. Kidman gets in a bulldog and dives over for the hot tag to Mysterio so things can pick up in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Dragon dives onto Sakoda but Tajiri breaks up the 619. Kidman dives onto him instead and Rey’s spinning DDT finishes Akio.

Rating: C-. This needed about three more minutes as it was really turning into the usual awesome cruiserweight spot fest, which is what these six should be doing. Mysterio is the top challenger for the title at Wrestlemania so having Kidman or Dragon getting the pin here would have made sense, but at least we got something with a little more time.

Heyman swears vengeance on Guerrero and Dawn Marie isn’t talking him out of it.

Here’s the World’s Greatest Tag Team dressed up as the APA (with Shelton as Bradshaw and Charlie as Bradshaw for some reason). Southern jokes run amok, including shots at beer drinking, smoking and marrying your sister’s cousin. Bradshaw thinks Haas and Benjamin are a couple of sexual tyrannosauruses but it’s time for a song.

Just when I’m thinking the only thing missing is a West Texas Rednecks song, THEY SING A WEST TEXAS REDNECKS SONG with APA Is Crap. Cue the real APA for the brawl, followed by the Bashams and Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi. So yes, sixteen people are going to be in two bad Tag Team Title matches. Is it too early to request a battle royal instead? Throw the cruiserweights in there and you’re already at 26.

Wrestlemania recall: Rock vs. Hogan. Well that works, even if they don’t show the Hulk Up.

Big Show vs. A-Train

First up, Cena makes American Idol jokes and promises to win the US Title. The energetic Cena gets shoved down, bringing a smile to his face. They head outside with A-Train clotheslining the post by mistake to give Cena a target. Back in and some arm cranking doesn’t get Cena far as A-Train uses the good arm to clothesline him down.

It’s time to work on Cena’s bad knee with A-Train in trouble as we take a break. Back with Cena firing off some right hands and forearms until more shots to the knee cut him off. Cena’s big clothesline gets him out of trouble and there’s the Shuffle. The FU gives Cena the easy pin.

Rating: D. I can appreciated A-Train working on the knee and all that good stuff but there wasn’t exactly much to see here. They were going with the idea of Cena fighting a giant to set up his more important match against the other giant so the booking is sound, but there’s not much of a way around such a lame match.

Post match Big Show comes out to brag about how awesome he is and lists off the things he’s done. The girls may love Cena’s abs but Big Show isn’t exactly impressed. At Madison Square Garden, everything ends for Cena.

Wrestlemania rundown. It looks good, but really, really long.

Heyman tells the referee to make Eddie’s handcuffs tight. Oh and Heyman will keep the key so he can beat some sense into Eddie.

The Hall of Fame Class of 2004 is announced:

Jesse Ventura

Harley Race

Billy Graham

Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter

Bobby Heenan

Don Muraco

Greg Valentine

Big John Studd

Junkyard Dog

Pete Rose

I’m glad the thing is back, but for the first class in nearly ten years, they don’t really have a major headliner, at least not for their time in WWE. Some big names, but the biggest WWE name is….Heenan? Ventura? Maybe Slaughter? Not exactly the big headliner you would expect.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Paul Heyman

Non-title with Eddie’s hands cuffed behind his back and the announcers acting like this is Austin vs. Hogan. Heyman talks a lot of trash and gets kicked into the corner where he shouts in pain. Another kick is enough for Heyman and he walks out….with Angle replacing him as the match ends.

Angle gives him a death stare that would intimidate Ivan Drago before slowly taping his fists. Not being the brightest guy in the world, Eddie gets into the ring (still cuffed) instead of running through the crowd. Angle slowly gets in and stalks Eddie before taking him down so the proper beating can begin. The taped right hand puts Eddie down and the fans chant for the champ. You can see the fear in Eddie’s eyes as he knows he’s screwed. Angle picks up the belt and knocks Eddie cold to end the show. More great stuff from Angle, who came off like a heartless machine here, which makes me want to see Eddie fight back.

Overall Rating: D+. Eddie and Angle are carrying this show on their backs but the weight is a little too much for them. Looking back over this show, there is next to nothing going on that would make me want to see what’s next for Smackdown. We’re ten days from Wrestlemania and there’s one Smackdown match worth seeing. The problem continues to be cramming so much stuff on there and the bad is outweighing the good. I’ve said something similar to this before and it’s true here: the good is very good but the bad is much more uninspiring and dull, which can be a lot worse than bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2018
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

You can tell it’s a big night around here as Brock Lesnar is actually gracing us with his presence for the first time in three months. Now a lot of people would find that to be a really bad idea but it’s been the case for a long time in WWE. Just to make it work even better, he’ll be confronting Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In memory of Nikolai Volkoff and Brian Christopher.

We open with a recap of Reigns beating Bobby Lashley last week to become #1 contender.

Lesnar is here. The fact that that is newsworthy tells you a lot about WWE today.

Here’s Reigns in the arena to a mixed reaction. He thanks the fans in Miami for always having a special energy that you don’t get everywhere else. Reigns thanks Lashley for last week because that was a heck of a fight and he respects Lashley for it. He doesn’t respect Lesnar though because Lesnar doesn’t have time to show up here like he does in the UFC. Lesnar is coming to Summerslam and Reigns is going to hit him in the mouth.

This brings out Paul Heyman, to talk about the definition of insanity being trying the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result. If that’s true, Reigns should be in a padded room somewhere. This week’s spoiler: Heyman is going to put Reigns down and then become a two sport champion.

Reigns: “Just shut up Paul.” He wants Lesnar out here right now but Heyman says Lesnar will be out here if and when he feels like it. Lesnar will be at Summerslam but Reigns cuts him off, saying if Lesnar shows up he’ll be sent back to the UFC as Reigns’ b****. Cole says the show is in three weeks, annoying me as usual. It’s twenty days, not three weeks.

Brock is in the back reading Backwoodsman Magazine when Heyman comes in. He doesn’t watch the show so he didn’t hear what Reigns said. Heyman recorded Reigns’ statements but Lesnar throws the phone against the wall and continues reading. I hope Heyman bills him for that.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Yes this is still going. Corbin powers him into the corner to start and shoulders Balor down as it’s one sided to start. A middle rope dropkick gets Balor out of trouble as we’re firmly in power vs. speed here. Corbin clotheslines the heck out of him though and we take a break. Back with Corbin grabbing a chinlock and shaking the heck out of Balor.

That’s broken up but Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes for the clothesline back inside. The slow beating continues (makes sense as Corbin doesn’t see Balor as a threat) and it’s off to a chinlock. One heck of a right hand drops Balor again and a weak CORBIN SUCKS chant starts up. Balor sweeps the leg and hits a double stomp, followed by an enziguri to put Corbin on the floor. The big flip dive drops him again and we take a second break.

Back again with Balor holding a chinlock, just in case you didn’t get the point the first time. The chokeslam is countered into a rollup and the Sling Blade rocks Corbin. Balor’s shotgun dropkick gets caught in a chokebreaker and Corbin hammers away, showing his first anger and aggression over eighteen minutes in. A very spinny Deep Six gets two and Balor rolls to the floor where he hits the shotgun dropkick against the ropes. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses, setting up the End of Days to give Corbin the pin at 20:14(!).

Rating: C-. This match was a great example of a lot of the problems in WWE. This was a rematch from Extreme Rules where Corbin got overconfident and lost. Therefore, Corbin, whose entire issue in this feud has been that he doesn’t think anything of Balor, should have been taking this more seriously and being extra aggressive. That happened for about thirty seconds of the match with Corbin acting like everything was normal. They acted as if the Extreme Rules match, as in the PAY PER VIEW match (which went 8:20, or less than half the length of this), didn’t change anything. If it doesn’t matter, why should I watch?

Kurt Angle yells at Heyman about Lesnar not appearing in front of the live crowd. If Angle wants to fix things, he can go do it himself. That’s not cool with Angle, who threatens to fire Heyman if Lesnar doesn’t go to the ring at some point.

Long video on the Evolution announcement last week. My goodness please don’t let them do this for three months.

Alexa Bliss comes up to Alicia Fox in the back and wants her to take tonight’s match against Natalya seriously. Ronda Rousey’s suspension is done and she’s going to be in Natalya’s corner tonight. Fox needs to worry about Natalya and Natalya alone but Fox has this. Tonight, she’s going to make Natalya’s cat say meow.

Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Bliss and Rousey are the seconds. Natalya goes aggressive to start and tries an early Sharpshooter but Fox gets to the floor and pulls Natalya into the ring skirt. After beating the heck out of a tied up Natalya, Fox grabs the chinlock inside. That goes as long as you might expect but an abdominal stretch lasts a lot longer. Fox even one ups it by jumping up and wrapping her legs around Natalya’s waist (that’s a new one). The bridging northern lights suplex gets two and Fox goes after Rousey, allowing Bliss to get in a cheap shot. Fox’s running big boot is good for the pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. There’s something likable about Fox and it’s good to have her back. If nothing else another person on the roster lets you keep some matches fresh instead of burning through the same ones over and over again. The match was more storyline than wrestling but Fox looked better than she did in most of her pre-injury matches.

Post match Rousey goes after Fox and hits the spinning Samoan drop. The numbers get the better of her for a bit but the villains get chased off.

Heyman is trying to get Lesnar (now reading American Frontiersman) to go to the arena but the offer of a hero’s welcome doesn’t do much for Brock. Lesnar says Heyman is getting under his skin so go get him a steak (medium well), baked potato and steamed broccoli. Make that medium rare and you have a heck of a meal.

Rousey is furious and wants a match before Summerslam or she’ll get suspended again. Angle gives her Fox next week.

Here’s Elias for a song. After a little guitar, Elias puts over his album and says he could have gone even higher on the charts but he was interrupted by Bobby Lashley. The fans start to cheer but Elias doesn’t want to hear from people who worship musicians like Pitbull and actors like the Rock. That brings on a ROCKY chant and Elias isn’t happy.

Elias has a song about how much he can’t stand the Rock but here’s Lashley to interrupt. That’s fine with Elias, because Lashley must want to sing with him. Elias starts playing Rockin’ Robin and Lashley joins in. Shockingly enough he can’t sing and Elias beats him down. A belly to belly sends Elias flying in short order.

Kevin Owens approves of what Corbin did and says Corbin is his son’s new favorite wrestler. Owens is concerned about the Lesnar situation because Brock is insulting Stephanie McMahon’s authority. If Brock goes out there, Strowman could cash in the briefcase before Owens has a chance to win it in the match Stephanie made. Corbin says that’s not his problem and Braun can cash in anytime.

We look back at Braun Strowman destroying Jinder Mahal last week.

Braun Strowman vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder’s shanti is cut off by a GET THESE HANDS chant and a shove into the corner. Cue Kevin Owens to grab the briefcase and the chase is on with Strowman getting the case back and chasing Owens up the ramp for the countout at 1:36.

Strowman comes back and chases Mahal off.

Corbin brings Angle the phone so he can talk to Stephanie. She has an idea, even though Angle thinks the fans will be disappointed. Stephanie doesn’t care because we need to protect the main event of Summerslam.

A bunch of midcarders are in the locker room when Mojo Rawley comes in. He calls all of them out for not believing in his, just like everyone else he’s run down. Bobby Roode comes in with a slow clap so Mojo asks if he’s about to be catchphrased into submission. The fight is on with agents and referees coming in to break it up while the wrestlers want more brawling.

Apollo Crews vs. Akam

Before the match, the Authors promise to destroy everyone. Akam powers him down and puts n a very early cobra clutch. Crews fight up with a series of kicks to the head and the standing moonsault for two. The toss powerbomb doesn’t work but Akam misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 2:57.

Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

Dolph Ziggler is in Drew’s corner. The announcers are pushing the nickname Scottish Terminator for McIntyre. An early suplex muscles Rollins up and McIntyre sends him outside. A catapult sends Rollins throat first into the metal ring structure and we take a break. Back with Rollins hitting back to back to back suicide dives to send McIntyre into the barricade. I know McIntyre is called the Terminator but Rollins seems to have a throat of steel.

McIntyre is fine enough to get two off a spinebuster but a powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana. Rollins superkicks him and McIntyre wants another, so Seth grants the request. It’s not enough to keep McIntyre down for the frog splash and super White Noise gives McIntyre two. If you’re going to use a move like that, it should be a pin. Rollins gets out of the Alabama Slam and hits the Stomp, drawing in Ziggler for the DQ at 9:22.

Rating: B-. Well they got the ending right, and that’s what matters here. McIntyre is getting better and better and the fact that they’re protecting him means a lot. As usual though, these matches just make you wonder why it’s not McIntyre as champion with Ziggler as his lackey. That being said, the throat into the steel and the super White Noise should have been much bigger deals than they were, but here they’re just spots in a ten minute match on Raw.

We recap Brock won’t come out and play.

Angle comes in to tell Reigns that since Lesnar will be in the arena tonight, Reigns needs to leave the building on Stephanie’s orders. Reigns asks when this is going to end because Angle isn’t a yes man. Corbin brings in security to escort Reigns from the building so Reigns pops him in the jaw.

Here’s the B Team for a chat. Charly Caruso asks about their change over the summer and the success it has brought them. Dallas: “Well Charles, the B in B Team stands for dream!” They’ve gotten the support from the B Teamers (dang it I like that) but the Deleters of Worlds don’t think much of them.

Here they are behind the champs with Matt Hardy saying this success is a cosmic anomaly. Bray talks about how dreams are fleeting but nightmares are real. They will never stop haunting the B Team but here’s the Revival to interrupt. Dawson says they’re the top of the division and a brawl breaks out with the Revival being cleared out in short order.

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. Revival

Joined in progress with the B Team on commentary and Bray doing the spider walk to Wilder. Matt comes in and gets pulled into a Boston crab with Dawson dropping a bunch of legs. The champs talk about not sleeping since winning the titles, what the B stands for, and not being scared of the Revival. Revival takes turns on the commentary as Dallas expresses his disdain for fists and flips.

A Side Effect gets Matt out of trouble and it’s off to Bray vs. Wilder again. Bray’s body block takes him down and we get what sounds like a CM PUNK chant. Dawson dropkicks Bray and everything breaks down with Matt and Dawson fighting to the floor. Now it’s a RUSEV DAY chant as Wilder slips out of Sister Abigail. The Shatter Machine ends Bray at 5:54.

Rating: D+. It’s great to see the Revival win, even though I fully expect it to be a triple threat at Summerslam because we just had to have the rematch last week with Matt and Bray losing again. The thing is we’ve established that winning and losing mean nothing around here so it’s not that big of a shock.

Rollins talks about tired of getting jumped 2-1 when he’s jumped 2-1.

Riott Squad vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Sasha and Bayley now have matching jackets and want to be called the Boss and Hug Connection. No. Logan starts with an armbar on Bayley, who easily spins her down for a break. Banks comes in for the running Meteora and we hit the armbar. The announcers manage to stop talking about Reigns and Lesnar to talk about Evolution as Bayley hits a running knee in the corner.

Banks adds a Meteora on the apron and we take a break. Back with Banks in a chinlock until Morgan comes in for a chinlock of her own. What a versatile team. Banks gets up and throws her down for the hot tag to Bayley. A running knee to Morgan’s head has her in trouble and there’s the running elbow in the corner. Bayley hurricanranas Morgan down for a top rope Meteora (third of the match) from Banks. Bayley comes in off a blind tag and a Backstabber into the Bayley to Belly finishes Morgan at 8:48.

Rating: C-. I’m sick of Meteoras and I’m not sure what they’re doing with this Bayley/Banks story. It seems that they’re already dropping the Banks loves Bayley thing, or at least they’re not mentioning it at the moment. In a way that’s a relief but in another way it’s annoying because that was actually interesting after months of the same “they’re friends/they hate each other” stuff. I hope we get somewhere by Summerslam, because as much as I like both of them, I don’t know how much longer I can take this story running on a treadmill.

Heyman begs Lesnar to go out there so they can go be at a private steakhouse in 25 minutes. Lesnar’s pay has been confirmed so he doesn’t seem interested. Heyman finally explains the situation and asks him to do it as a friend. Lesnar grabs him by the jacket and says they’re not friends but just business associates. Therefore, Heyman needs to go out there and do his job.

Here are Angle and Corbin to address Heyman and Lesnar. Heyman does come out with no energy, knowing what’s about to happen. The fans greet him with the Goodbye Song and Heyman says Lesnar isn’t coming out here tonight. That sends Angle over the edge into a rant about what a champion does, like doing charity work, reaching out to the community, and DEFENDING THE TITLE. Angle: “BROCK LESNAR MUST BE THE WORST UNIVERSAL CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!” Fans: “YES!!!”

Heyman actually agrees and says he tried to rehabilitate Lesnar because he’s one of the few people Lesnar tolerates. Kurt doesn’t buy it but Heyman says take this out on Lesnar because Brock doesn’t respect anyone. However, Heyman thinks the world of Angle and would like to have a better working relationship with him. Angle fires him anyway, sending Heyman diving to Angle’s leg.

Cue Lesnar to give Heyman the greatest relief of his life. Lesnar finally gets in and hands the belt to Heyman before grabbing a mic. That’s rarely a good idea. He asks if Angle and Corbin have a problem with him….and there’s an F5 to Angle before a word is said. Corbin immediately leaves and Heyman slaps Brock on the back. Brock grabs him by the face and makes Heyman look at Angle. The fans want Strowman (or maybe Roman) but get Brock leaving to end the show. So yeah, that’s it and no, this isn’t going to get the result that the company wants, especially in New York.

Overall Rating: D+. They tried, but this didn’t get where it needed to go. The Lesnar story dominated the night and really, it might have been better if he just didn’t show up until Summerslam. I understand the idea of Lesnar hating the fans and the company but that’s not exactly fresh information. Lesnar’s character hasn’t been the problem. As usual the problem is Reigns, and tonight didn’t do anything to make me want to see him conquer Lesnar. Until that changes, Summerslam is another version of what hasn’t worked before.

Other than that, Evolution continues to loom over the women’s division, Ziggler continues to make you wonder why he’s in the spot he’s occupying, Strowman continues to have nothing to do because we’re waiting on Roman and Money in the Bank has to exists and Balor loses to Corbin because….well you have to validate Corbin’s role somehow. It just seems like everything is on Reigns vs. Lesnar, which didn’t work the first time and isn’t likely to work here. With that dominating the show, there’s not much the rest of the people involved can do, especially when the stories aren’t great in the first place.

Results

Baron Corbin b. Finn Balor – End of Days

Alicia Fox b. Natalya – Big boot

Jinder Mahal b. Braun Strowman via countout

Apollo Crews b. Akam – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Revival b. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt – Shatter Machine to Wyatt

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Riott Squad – Bayley to Belly to Morgan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/07/23/new-book-kbs-complete-2003-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 15, 2004
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

With less than two weeks to go before the Royal Rumble, it’s still the Hardcore Holly Show around here. Thankfully there’s some other stuff going on to balance it out, but he’s an anchor on the momentum that the show could have. Other than that though we have Chris Benoit and John Cena having rockets strapped to their backs, which could be very entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring to start things off and talks about how important gambling is here. There can only be fifteen Smackdown superstars in the Royal Rumble so tonight, only the winners get into the match. This brings out John Cena, whose presence has Heyman’s mouth hanging open. Cena gets in his various insults and promises to bounce Heyman faster than an ECW check. Tazz: “I’ve had one of those. They suck.” Cena asks the fans what they want to see and loads up the FU but Rhyno comes in for the save. Rhyno Gores him and Heyman promises that tonight will be a night that Cena never forgets.

Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Rescheduled from last week when Jamie was nowhere to be found and Nidia had to take his place. The winner gets Rey Mysterio, on commentary, for the Cruiserweight Title at the Royal Rumble. Tajiri wastes no time in firing off the kicks to take over and some kicks in the corner get two. Tazz of course isn’t all that interested as he would rather accuse Rey of staring at Nidia. A neckbreaker gets Noble out of trouble and we hit the USA chant.

The ever patriotic Noble runs him over but Tajiri kicks him in the head to stop the momentum. For some reason Tajiri goes up but misses a middle rope legdrop, only to have Akio and Sakoda go after Nidia. Noble and Mysterio run over for the save so Noble sends him into the barricade. Tajiri loads up a dive but Noble pulls Nidia in his way, setting up the tiger bomb back inside to send Noble to the Rumble. But wait, shouldn’t that put him in the Royal Rumble too, following Heyman’s orders earlier tonight? I know there’s another prize there but that needs to be explained a bit better.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well with too much going on in a three minute match. Tazz’s constant accusations of Mysterio wanting Nidia didn’t help much either as it just was more annoying than interesting. As a bonus, Nidia continues to be the stupidest person in wrestling. We’re supposed to believe that no one has told her about this in the month or so this story has been going? She’s never heard the commentary on a show where the announcers are calling the show? I’d hope we get somewhere with this at the Rumble as it needs to end already.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Heyman, standing on the elevated part of the set, to say Cena is corrupting the youth of America. Therefore, tonight it’s Cena vs. Rhyno in a Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap match with Cena’s mouth against Heyman’s mouth.

We look back at Hardcore Holly attacking Big Show last week.

Brock Lesnar and Show, in a neck brace are in the back and it’s restraining order time. Holly can’t come within fifty feet of Show and Lesnar is standing by his side all night. I get that they’re trying with Holly but it just makes me shake my head more every week.

We recap the split of Los Guerreros in a great angle.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Eddie Guerrero and insists that he was only trying to help. Apparently Chavo Sr. will be here tonight to apologize for Chavo, who Eddie will be facing at the Rumble. Therefore, neither can be in the Rumble. That’s not cool with Eddie, who rants about not wanting to fight his family. Beating up his nephew would be like taking out his own heart. It’s about respect, not revenge.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The Bashams are defending. And hang on a second as Dawn Marie comes out to announce that this is now Rikishi vs. Scotty with the winner getting in the Rumble. So when he said the winners tonight will get you into the Rumble, he only meant some of them. That’s more clarification than we had earlier.

Rikishi vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

They stare at each other a lot until Scotty annoys Rikishi (imagine that) and some smacks to the head knock Scotty silly. The Samoan drop is escaped so Rikishi superkicks him down, setting up the Rump Shaker for the quick pin.

Video on recent house shows. A little research finds that those shows were main evented by Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. A-Train (and occasionally with Tajiri included as well) for the Cruiserweight Title. That certainly does sound like a great time.

Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Non-title, as announced by Tazz. However, the winners are in the Rumble. Danny runs Haas over to start but gets taken to the mat without much effort. Shelton comes in for a heck of a t-bone suplex on Doug with Danny having to make a save. That means a trip to the floor where Shaniqua offers a distraction, allowing the Bashams to hit a double baseball slide to take over.

Back in and Shelton gets beaten down as he and Haas are the default faces, which doesn’t quite work for them. Shelton ducks a clothesline and makes the hot (minus the heat) tag to Haas to clean house. Everything breaks down and Shelton gets in a superkick, allowing Haas to roll Danny up for the pin.

Rating: D. And I’m sure Haas and Benjamin will be announced for a title shot soon after pinning the champions clean. This was a weird choice for the sake of a qualifying match and it really didn’t work. Haas and Benjamin are the less heelish of the two teams but it’s not like the fans were going to cheer them anyway. It got the right team into the Rumble but that’s about all it got right.

Here’s Chavo Sr. to apologize for his son. He understands why he’s being booed with what is going on with his family. Chavo is here tonight to say that he is ashamed of his son and he wants an apology to Eddie. This brings out Eddie, who thinks it’s a setup. Chavo says he’s out here on his own behalf but that’s not cool with Eddie, who doesn’t think this is enough.

Eddie calms down and says his anger isn’t towards his brother but towards Chavo Jr. Is that how Chavo raised his son? Eddie doesn’t understand this so here’s Chavo Jr. as well. As you probably guessed, the double teaming is on and Eddie gets laid out. Cole thinks this MIGHT have been a setup, because being lead commentator makes him a little slow. Angle runs in for the save.

The FBI comes out for a six man tag but that’s another changed match as we now have a three man battle royal for a Royal Rumble spot.

Nunzio vs. Chuck Palumbo vs. Johnny Stamboli

Nunzio tells them to get out so he can win, eventually screaming in their faces to do so. Palumbo teases leaving but punches Nunzio in the face instead. The big guys fight in the corner until Palumbo knocks Nunzio silly. A buckle bomb rocks Nunzio and Palumbo kicks Stamboli out, only to be dumped by Nunzio for the win in short order.

Post match Nunzio tries to explain while Stamboli falls down.

Eddie is going Chavo hunting but finds Angle instead. Things get very intense but Angle doesn’t want to fight. Eddie wants to beat up Chavo Jr. instead.

Big Show vs. Funaki

Non-title but a Royal Rumble qualifier with Show in his neck brace. Chops, hiptoss, Hardcore Holly comes out for a failed distraction, a right hand puts Show in the Rumble.

Heyman gives Rhyno a pep talk. He needs to do this for AMERICA, because Cena is poisoning the youth’s minds! Heyman wants the old Rhyno back.

The #2 Billy Gunn moment: winning the 1999 King of the Ring. Over X-Pac, because Gunn vs. Road Dogg in the finals was too complicated for Vince Russo.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Cena’s mouth getting soaped out vs. Heyman’s mouth getting soaped out. Before the match, Heyman tells the referee to DQ Cena at the slightest indiscretion. Rhyno on the other hand can’t be counted out or disqualified, called ECW rules. Cena slides in and gets knocked right back to the floor. The second attempt works a bit better with some clotheslines putting Rhyno outside this time.

Back in again and Cena tosses him a second time but Rhyno comes back in with a kendo stick. A few shots have Cena in trouble and they head outside for the fourth time combined, which suggests that this is going to go on for a very long time. Rhyno chairs him down for two more and the chair is wedged in the corner for good measure. Of course Rhyno gets whipped into the chair because that’s what happens when you put one in the corner.

Cena scores with the Throwback and the top rope elbow to the neck has Rhyno in more trouble. Heyman comes in with a low blow to block the FU though and they’re both down again. The Gore misses so they head outside again, this time with Rhyno loading up a table. Back from a break with Cena being slammed onto the unfolded table but he rolls away from a top rope splash. The table is set in the corner but first, Rhyno has to hit a spinebuster for two. The missed Gore sends Rhyno through the table (which explodes) and the FU gives Cena the pin.

Rating: D. For a match that wasn’t exactly in doubt, this went on a lot longer than it should have. The stipulation was a nice idea and could have been done better with a bigger name against Cena but this didn’t work very well. Cut this down in about half and you have something much better but the seventeen minutes it got went too long.

Heyman tries to run but Chris Benoit cuts him off. Some kendo stick shots from Heyman just annoy Benoit, who takes Heyman down with ease. As Heyman screams for help, Benoit puts on the Sharpshooter. Cena grabs a mic and says this was all Heyman’s idea so it’s soap time. Hang on though, as Cena has an idea. Heyman is in pain, but Cena can make it worse by saying CHRIS, which causes the hold to be pulled on even harder. Heyman won’t lick the soap so that means CHRIS.

They try it again and Heyman screams, earning him some soap in the mouth. Heyman promises to make Cena miserable and makes threats of Vince McMahon’s authority. Cena: “He’s got a point but I’ve got a better one. CHRIS!” That means more soap for Heyman, who starts apologizing to Benoit. Cena: “That sounded like he said CHRIS!” Heyman: “FU! FU! FU!” Cena: “CHRIS!” More soap and more cranking knocks Heyman out to end the show. At least this was a fun way to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well, they did something to advance towards the Rumble and Holly was kept to a near minimum tonight, but the show still came off as flat. Having a bunch of short qualifying matches for the Rumble didn’t so much get me excited for the show as much as it showed me how weak the Smackdown roster is after the top names. The ending segment was completely fine though and it helped boost the show up a little bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 11, 2003
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re now on the way to the Royal Rumble and that means….well it probably means that the show takes a few weeks off. Last week saw Chris Benoit fall just short of winning the Smackdown World Title from Brock Lesnar, who now gets to move on to Hardcore Holly. A main event in probably no arena in the country. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open on a very close shot of Paul Heyman as he says Chris Benoit will never get another shot at the WWE Title as long as Heyman is General Manager.

Opening sequence.

Heyman is in the ring to get things going. He’s going to follow a tradition and build Smackdown on the back of Brock Lesnar. Vince McMahon Sr. built the company on the back of Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon Jr. built his company on the backs of Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. Last week Chris Benoit got a little too close to destroying Heyman’s vision so there will be no more title shots at this man.

Brock comes out and smiles a lot as you can see the YOU TAPPED OUT signs in the crowd. Just in case that’s not enough, the accompanying chants start up as well. Lesnar rants about demanding respect and says it was Benoit who tapped out to him. We see a clip of Benoit “tapping” after passing out and Lesnar rants against the fans, only showing why he shouldn’t be allowed to talk that often. Lesnar says he has a chant for the fans here in Mexico, even though Heyman says we’re in San Diego. Lesnar: “It looks like Mexico out here!”

Cue Rey Mysterio to say he won’t let Lesnar make fun of his people and his family. Rey is here to issue a challenge for tonight and that means a 619 chant. Lesnar doesn’t agree so testicle jokes are made, which is enough to get the match made, albeit non-title of course. Brock does throw in a bonus: if Rey can win tonight, he can have a title shot next week. That’s cool with Rey, who promises a 619 chant next week. Perfectly fine for a one/two week story.

Rhyno vs. Bradshaw

Fallout from a Gore on Velocity. Bradshaw forearms him into the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The threat of a Clothesline sends Rhyno bailing to the floor but he comes back in with a DDT for two. For reasons of general idiocy, Rhyno goes up top, allowing Bradshaw to hit a super fall away slam to take over again. A superplex plants Rhyno and they lay on the mat for a few seconds before Bradshaw lifts his legs, allowing Rhyno to turn it into a small package for the pin. That didn’t look contrived in the slightest.

Rating: D. Believe it or not I actually had some expectations here as these two could have a decent, short power match. For some reason though they couldn’t even do that right and it made for a lame outing, especially for the ending. Bad match here, which is actually a bit of a surprise.

Paul Heyman is with A-Train and Matt Morgan and mentions that he’s gotten rid of Nathan Jones. No reason is given, but he quit the company while on tour in Australia. Anyway A-Train needs to prove himself to make up for betting against Brock last week so he’s going to face Shannon Moore. Morgan tells him not to blow it.

The Bashams want to bet on themselves in their Tag Team Title defense next week, which nearly leads to a fight with the FBI over Shaniqua being rough with the money. Didn’t she dump them? They leave so Matt Morgan comes in to put everything he has on A-Train against Moore. Pretty obvious payoff but it might work here.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon has taped up ribs so A-Train punches him in the bandages and hits a splash in the corner. A spinning crossbody to the back puts A-Train down but A-Train tosses him outside and hits the ribs again. Back in and Shannon grabs a quick sunset flip for the clean fluke pin.

Post match here are Morgan and Big Show to beat up Moore but A-Train takes a beating of his own.

Cat is getting ready to dance.

Highlights of the Asia/Australia tour.

Here’s Lamont to introduce Cat to dance with Sable. Therefore here’s Sable, who says she’s not dancing for anyone but Vince McMahon. Cat isn’t happy so he kisses her, causing Sable to leave. That means Cat takes his pants off and dances. This might be the most “because Vince thinks it’s funny” segment in years.

Eddie Guerrero offers Chavo a Y J Stinger hat but promises to be serious. Chavo says his knee is feeling good enough that he doesn’t even need to tag Eddie in. They’re both going to steal the show.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Eddie and Charlie start things off with neither being able to get the better of a technical off. Shelton comes in to try a test of strength as the EDDIE chants begin. Eddie gets the better of it and takes him down to the mat, legitimately injuring his shoulder in the process. Shelton gets sent into the corner so it’s off to Chavo as Eddie chokes from the apron. Shelton knocks him outside and opens the hood of the low rider in an attempt to crush Eddie’s arm. Well that certainly accelerated quickly.

With that not working, Shelton sends him arm first into the post and we take a very abrupt break. Back with Shelton slingshotting in to land on the arm again. Charlie lets Eddie over for the tag for some reason and it’s Chavo coming in to clean house. A headscissors drops Charlie and a middle rope twisting swanton gets two. Another armbar slows Charlie down but Shelton kicks out Chavo’s bad knee to take over again.

Shelton slingshots in onto the knee as at least they’re mixing up the leg work. We hit a half crab but Eddie gets creative by taking off the tag rope, which draws the referee over and allows Eddie to break up the hold. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Shelton pulls Eddie off the apron. Back up and Eddie dives over Charlie for the real hot tag but the bad arm keeps things from their usual pace. A monkey flip doesn’t work on Shelton as he lands on his feet but a dropkick sends him into Haas.

Charlie is fine enough to superplex Eddie and everyone is down again. It’s Shelton up first to jump over Charlie and land on Eddie’s back but a one legged Chavo makes the save. Eddie is fine enough to hit the rolling suplexes but Chavo tags himself in and hits the frog splash on Shelton. Eddie takes his time leaving though and it’s only good for a delayed two. Back up and Shelton superkicks Chavo and covers but Chavo isn’t legal. The referee straightens things out so Eddie pulls the air filter from the low rider and knocks Shelton cold for the pin.

Rating: C+. The arm injury clearly slowed Eddie a lot but even a below peak condition Eddie is still better than most performers ever. Chavo’s jealously can continue with Eddie stealing the pin as the team continues to win but also continues to deteriorate. It’s going to make Eddie into a bigger deal and that’s what matters most.

Tribute to the Troops is announced. That’s still a really cool concept, but once it turned into a stateside event, it stopped feeling special.

Here’s Big Show, dressed like John Cena, for a battle rap. Cena comes out and Show does the slow paced rhyming, including saying that he’s 500lbs and is the Kobe Bryant to Cena’s white girl. Oh and his finger is bigger than Cena’s…..anyway moving on. Cena’s response: Show is fat, in various forms of funny insults. He throws in a low blow for good measure and bails. This really wasn’t funny, but it was better than the Cat segment.

We recap Brock vs. Benoit last week.

Benoit passed out instead of giving up last week and now he’s not sure if he’s ever going to get another title shot.

Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title and Rey’s family is in the front row. Brock makes short jokes and takes his time in going after Mysterio. Eventually he grabs Rey by the foot and swings him into the corner because he’s just that big. Rey dropkicks the knee and sends a charging Lesnar face first into the middle buckle.

Brock snaps up and the chase is on until Brock finally stops and glares at him. This time he picks up the steps but Rey dropkicks them into his face. That’s about it for Rey’s offense though as Brock sends him into the post, only to get hurricanranaed to the floor. Brock gets sent into the post and Rey hits a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Brock catching a high crossbody and distracting the referee so he can get in a low blow. Cole is INCENSED that Brock would have to cheat and the stomping continues.

It’s off to a bodyscissors with a crossarm choke as Brock is dominating. He gets tired of the hold though and lets Rey up, allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 for a close two. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors and a standing hurricanrana give Rey two more but the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb. The Brock Lock makes Rey tap.

Rating: C-. Mysterio was trying here and the match wasn’t bad, but there was no drama to the whole thing and that was pretty clear. It wouldn’t make sense to have Mysterio win here just because it was in his hometown and the amount of offense he got in was more than enough. Lesnar taunting him was fine and Mysterio didn’t get squashed so what more can you ask for?

Post match a fan, who was sitting with Mysterio’s family, runs in and it’s Hardcore Holly. The beating is on and some right hands send Brock outside to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show but as is WWE tradition, the build for the next pay per view can’t begin until this one is over, even if there’s no connection between the two shows. Benoit is still trying to get to the title and Cena is stuck not challenging for the US Title but at least we’re getting some good stuff with Eddie and Brock. The show needs a fresh top challenger though and Holly….I think that says enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 27, 2003
Location: BSU Pavilion, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s Thanksgiving and there are some stories that are starting to pick up steam. Last week saw Chris Benoit continue his feud with Smackdown World Champion Brock Lesnar and John Cena seemed ready to start something with Vince McMahon. They have about two months before they can do anything on pay per view but maybe we can get a big TV match in there somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

We open with most of the roster standing on the apron and Paul Heyman in the ring. Tonight the spirit of opportunity is in the air because there will be a twenty man battle royal. The winner will receive a shot at Brock Lesnar, who comes to the ring to join Heyman. Lesnar is thankful to be twenty six years old and on his way to being the greatest WWE Champion of all time.

The YOU TAPPED OUT chants get on his nerves but he swears that he’s not afraid of anyone. He’s not afraid of a Mexican jumping bean, or someone who stands 7ft tall and weighs 500lbs or a guy who has never been champion (Cena) or a guy who will never be champion (Benoit). The chants start again and Lesnar admits that he did, but he’ll never do it again. Whoever wins the battle royal is going to tap out instead. Brock whispers something to Heyman, who decides that Cena and Benoit have to qualify for the battle royal. Cena has to defeat A-Train and Benoit will face a hand picked opponent, with that match starting next.

Chris Benoit vs. Matt Morgan

This couldn’t be announced five minutes in advance? Benoit baseball slides him before the bell but Morgan goes to the basic power by throwing him into various corners. A suplex and legdrop to the stomp give Morgan two but he misses the running crotch attack to the back. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit reverses a powerbomb into the Crossface for the win.

Rating: D. Time takes another one here as there’s not much Benoit can do when all he’s able to hit are chops and the Crossface. Morgan is still very green and needs more time in developmental, but he has the look and some of the movement down. The size, power and visuals will carry him far enough though and that’s a good starting point.

Jamie Noble asks Nidia if she can’t see because she might be trying to get extra attention. Nidia mocks her for the stupid question so he shouts in her ear because he thinks being blind and deaf are the same things. He brings up her being a liability at ringside so she promises to just sit at ringside, which is enough to make him give in. Also of note: Jamie says a win tonight could get him into the battle royal so he could become WWE Champion. If he’s allowed to compete for that title, why does the Cruiserweight Title exist?

We get a weird (and stupid) bit with Cole and Tazz as CGI turkeys. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

The Cat is here tonight.

Jamie Noble vs. Akio

Nidia is on commentary. Akio jumps him from behind to start and stomps away in the corner as Nidia talks about the possibilities of getting her sight back. A suicide dive takes Akio down but Noble chases Tajiri, allowing Akio to spinwheel kick him down. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence as Nidia is getting annoyed at not being able to see any of this.

A double clothesline takes both guys down and cheers for Jamie after hearing what happened. Jamie gets two off a swinging neckbreaker but Tajiri is going over to Nidia. A superplex drops Akio as Tajiri is now standing on the table in front of her. Nidia is told what’s going on and slowly walks her hands up Tajiri’s legs, setting up one of the best looking low blows I’ve seen in a long time. Tajiri’s eyes bug out as Akio rolls up a distracted Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C-. That low blow alone made the match work and Jamie continues to be one of the most consistent performers on the roster at the moment. Even with an annoying gimmick he’s making the thing work and putting on good matches. I’d love to see him actually get the title back but that’s as far as he’s going to go, which is the annoying part of being a cruiserweight.

Heyman comes in to see the injured Shannon Moore and, after a plug for Smackdown Magazine, gives him a match with Nathan Jones.

Rey Mysterio is thankful for the fans dialing up 619 and for being alive. Well those are rather opposite ends of the spectrum.

Shannon Moore vs. Nathan Jones

Shannon tries his luck and dropkicks Jones before he can get inside. Jones lifts him from the floor to the top rope and shoves him back onto the floor in a big crash. Two raised feet in the corner rock Jones but he’s right back with a reverse slam off the top. Back in and a release gutwrench suplexes ends the slaughter. Moore’s selling continues to be good in something like this.

The Thanksgiving party took place earlier today with John Cena coming in to rap the blessing, which involves sex jokes about every woman on the roster.

Eddie Guerrero runs into Chavo, who is on crutches after last week. Chavo is going to be ringside for Eddie’s match but Eddie wants Chavo to worry about the knee. Don’t worry though, because Eddie’s success is more important.

Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero

Charlie’s right hands have very little effect to start as Eddie snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. That’s enough of the back so Eddie starts in on the knee with Chavo adding in a few shots of his own. Haas gets in his own backbreaker for his own two as the fans start some solid Eddie chanting. With that not working, Charlie starts in on the arm to really change things up. Annoyed at Haas for not trying the same thing for very long, Eddie sends him head first into the buckle a few times, followed by Three Amigos. Shelton Benjamin gets on the apron so Eddie steals Chavo’s crutch to hit Charlie for the pin.

Rating: C. As has been the case for the last few weeks, this was a short match that could have gone longer but I can get the idea of putting in more stuff and going with the logical, positive development. Eddie using the crutch was pretty heelish but he’s just going to grin his way out of it, as tends to be his case.

Post match Shelton beats on Chavo so Eddie makes the save with the crutch. Chavo rips into Eddie for STEALING AN INJURED MAN’S ONLY CRUTCH. Well yeah that’s pretty low.

John Cena vs. A-Train

A-Train breaks up the rap and stomps away but misses the bicycle kick. Instead he runs Cena over and gets two off a running powerslam. It’s off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments before Cena is tossed outside. As the announcers have a discussion of whether or not turkeys have hair, the referee gets bumped so Cena can kick the rope for a low blow. The referee is back up to see a slow motion ProtoBomb but A-Train is right back with a Derailer for two. That means it’s time to be frustrated so A-Train throws some chairs in, only to walk into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. They’re doing well with the progression of Cena’s face turn here as the cheating is getting less frequent. Here, he finished clean with the FU instead of using one of the chairs that A-Train threw in. He’s starting to see the light, but he’s also getting to the point where he can win without the cheating. They’re getting there.

We recap Hardcore Holly attacking Brock Lesnar last week and getting suspended.

Hardcore Holly joins us for a live interview and says he’s appealed his suspension (To whom? Vince? The mythical board of directors?) and is coming for Brock. I would say run but….is that really a threat?

Here’s Lamont to introduce his boss: The Cat, to what would become Brodus Clay’s theme music. For those of you who don’t remember him, that would be Ernest Miller, a decent talker who couldn’t wrestle a good match 80% of the time (he wasn’t the worst but rarely got out of first gear) and danced a lot while talking like James Brown. Cat dances, no one cares, hometown girl Torrie Wilson comes out to join him, a few people care. Torrie pulls out the lollipop and puts it in her mouth before lowering it into his mouth. Cat goes into convulsions as Torrie leaves. This took nearly seven minutes.

John Cena wishes some friends and family a Happy Thanksgiving.

Battle Royal

John Cena, Chris Benoit, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, A-Train, Bradshaw, Johnny Stamboli, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Orlando Jordan, Chuck Palumbo, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, Rhyno, Rikishi, Scotty 2 Hotty, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, Big Show

Show actually goes after Morgan for a few seconds but Jones saves Rikishi for some reason. A bunch of people go after Show but he shoves them all away. They try it again and actually try to lift him this time, meaning the elimination works. I’m surprised they got rid of him that fast. Show clotheslines Jordan in the aisle to blow off some steam as we go to a quick break.

Back with Jones and Bradshaw having been eliminated during the commercial. Mysterio and Guerrero go at it and the fans REALLY like that one but no one is tossed. Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the apron as A-Train kicks Scotty out. Rhyno is up with a Gore to A-Train and Eddie dropkicks A-Train out, followed by Morgan eliminating Rhyno as well. There’s a 619 to Shelton as everything slows down. Rikishi is the next person to get the group elimination but takes Haas, Palumbo and Morgan with him.

We’re down to Cena, Benoit, Doug Basham, Mysterio, Guerrero and Benjamin. Cena and Benoit catch Mysterio’s springboard and toss him as well with Basham going out seconds later. The final four go to a corner each and the fans are behind Cena here. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit as Cena and Shelton fight in the corner. They trade off and Cena takes Three Amigos but isn’t ready to be eliminated.

Shelton is back up with a hard powerbomb on Eddie but Benoit grabs the rolling German suplexes on Benjamin to put everyone down. Eddie is up with a frog splash on Benjamin but walks into the FU. Now the rolling German suplexes drops Cena so Shelton pops up with a superkick to Benoit. Shelton throws Benoit over but a little skinning the cat allows Benoit to pull himself up for a headscissors to get rid of Benjamin.

Cena dumps Eddie and we’re down to two. The slugout goes to Cena but Benoit grabs the Crossface to make Cena tap (you don’t see that too often). Instead of dumping him though, Benoit drops Cena ribs first onto the top rope. They fight onto the apron and fall to the floor at the same time for the double elimination.

Rating: C+. This got way better once we got to the final four when there was some drama about the winner. They didn’t waste time getting rid of a bunch of the dead weight here and it was cool to see Shelton getting a bit of a push. Cena is clearly the future around here though and that makes thing more interesting. Good match here and it didn’t feel long at all, which is a rarity in battle royals.

The referees, wrestlers and announcers argue as Lesnar and Heyman come out for the title match. Back from a break with replays showing that they really do land at the same time. The referees still don’t agree and both wrestlers swear they win. Heyman thinks that means a triple threat but that wouldn’t be in the best interest of the title. Therefore, Cena and Benoit can fight next week and the winner will get the title shot later that night. So there’s your non-pay per view big TV show of the month. Team Lesnar runs in to beat down Cena and Benoit with Lesnar wishing them a happy Thanksgiving to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Lame ending aside with the lack of the advertised title match, it’s cool to have a show that actually has an interesting goal and then focuses on that goal for two hours. Most of the matches have to do with setting up the battle royal and you can feel Cena and Benoit getting bigger and bigger every week. There’s a lot of potential in there and if they do it right, Smackdown could be a heck of a show again in very short order.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6