Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 8, 2014

This was a special episode billed as the season premiere. For those of you new to wrestling, that would be WWE code for “AHHH!!! MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL IS BACK AND OUR SHOW SUCKS!!!” WWE had a few weapons to fight the NFL, including Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage, Orton vs. Reigns II and Jerry Springer, because Vince continues to be out of touch with reality. Let’s get to it.

We opened with a very good cage match between Wyatt and Jericho with Jericho hitting a huge dive off the top of the cage (and possibly breaking his toe in the process) for the big spot. He also tweaked his knee in the process though, allowing Bray to pound on it enough to escape. This was a better match than I was expecting and seems to completely write off the feud. Bray got to look evil and won almost entirely clean, save for the Family blocking Jericho from climbing down at one point. Bray needs to move up a notch with his next feud and a midcard title might be just the ticket.

Orton asked for and received permission to do something evil tonight. This would wind up being attacking Jericho in the trainer’s room, likely setting up a placeholder match for both guys at Night of Champions.

Time for the WWE’s favorite comic idea: fake pictures of a wrestler. This is their jab at the massive celebrity photo leak ordeal from a few weeks ago, because nothing makes me want to cheer someone more than mocking crime. The idea was Ziggler had photos of Miz, including Miz in a facial mask and getting his chest shaved. After Miz and Sandow came out for a brawl, Ziggler showed us the last one: Sandow spray tanning a less than clothed Miz. The segment probably made Vince laugh but I just don’t get it. They’re not offensively bad or anything but the joke doesn’t get more than the occasional chuckle from me.

Paige and AJ Lee beat Natalya/Rosa Mendes in the first Total Divas commercial of the week. The idea here is neither team could get along, but at the end of the day Rosa just isn’t very good and it caught up with her team. Apparently Natalya has taken Rosa under her wing, even though this story should have taken place about four months ago under the Total Divas timeline and we’re just now hearing about it. AJ and Paige both kissed the title belt post match.

Next up was the big segment of the week with Cena talking about how awesome he was before Heyman interrupted and tried to turn John to the dark side, saying it was the only way Cena could beat Lesnar. Paul explained that if Cena finally told the fans to shut up when they were booing him and saying CENA SUCKS that he would be able to take Lesnar out and get his title back. Cena teased it for a bit before going off on Heyman, talking about how he would never give up on what he believed in. He capped it off by telling Heyman to have Lesnar come here next week for a fight, or Cena will beat on Heyman instead.

This was a fifteen or twenty minute back for forth segment between two guys that are born to talk on a mic. The whole thing worked perfectly and Cena finally going toe to toe with Lesnar again next week is going to rock. They’ve done a good job of making me want to see Cena try his luck against Lesnar again, but the interesting part is going to be Cena dealing with better than his best not being good enough to stop Lesnar. They were getting close to this with Bray at Wrestlemania but it didn’t really go anywhere. This has potential though as Cena tries to define his legacy before he finally rides off.

Cesaro cost Sheamus a match against Rollins. There isn’t much to see here and the match wasn’t all that good. Cesaro beat Sheamus up post match to cap things off. It’s nothing new but this is one of the better builds they’ve had to a midcard title match in a long time. Unfortunately they’ve run this match so many times before that I don’t have much of an interest in this showdown. It’s the danger of running the same matches over and over again on TV.

Lana and Rusev did their thing. Nothing to see here, save for Lana of course.

Now we got to one of my favorite parts of the show: an NXT showcase match with Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn beating Tyler Breeze and Tyson Kidd. The interesting thing here was the commentary, as the announcers spent the entire five minute match hyping up the Takeover special and treating this like the only thing that mattered in the world. I know they can’t do that all the time but it was very nice for a change. Neville blew the crowd up with the Red Arrow for the pin on Breeze.

The stupid segment of the night was the Jerry Springer summit with the Bellas. This was basically a way to show clips from Total Divas and have the Bellas’ parents and brother talk about how horrible this fight was. The girls fought and Springer got taken down in the brawl. Here’s the good part though: this was the ONLY Bellas segment of the night and it made all the difference in the world. If they have to do this stupid story then so be it, but don’t make me sit through five segments a week. I can live with something like this where they’re out there like ten minutes total.

The Dusts beat Los Matadores in a nothing match but the Usos took them out post match.

Adam Rose beat Titus O’Neil. The story here was the Bunny, who superkicked Slater and hit a Superfly Splash after the match. I could go for an unmasking story.

Orton and Reigns had a good twenty minute match until Kane and Rollins came in for the DQ. There isn’t much to say about the match as a lot of it was the same as Summerslam, meaning it was good stuff. I like the booking though as there’s no need to have Orton lose clean twice in a row and Reigns already has the big win over Randy so there’s no need to do it again.

Post match Rollins and Kane had the cage lowered (with Rollins nearly getting stabbed by one of the poles in a genuinely scary moment) and Reigns, after fighting back for a bit, taking the Curb Stomp on a chair to end the show. This is the kind of adversity Reigns needs to face on his rise. It’s ok to have him get beaten down as long as he comes back and wins the big match in the end.

Raw this week was WAY easier to sit through as they kept the Bellas stuff contained to a single segment. That’s been the biggest complaint in the last few weeks and the show was much better once that was solved. The show wasn’t the best in the world, but after things have been this boring for so long, I’ll gladly take an ok show.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 8, 2014: Two Bellas, A Bunny And A Springer Walk Into A Season Premiere

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere (code for a gimmick name to try and fight off Monday Night Football) and the show is actually kind of stacked. We have Jericho vs. Wyatt inside a cage and Orton vs. Reigns II, but there’s something else with an even bigger hype: Jerry Springer’s intervention with the Bellas, because WWE thinks it’s 1998. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered to open the show.

We get a Season Premiere video with the focus on Jerry Springer and then the two big matches.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

In a cage and you win by pinfall, submission or escape. Bray says the town’s name again. Jericho hammers him down to start and catapults Bray throat before getting two off an enziguri. They slug it out in the corner but Bray pulls Jericho off the top to prevent an escape. A top rope shot to the head puts Bray down but Bray pops up and send shim into the cage. Bray splashes him against the cage and we take a break.

Back with Bray running Jericho over for two. He tries to climb but gets taken down in an electric chair drop. They slug it out with Jericho getting the better of it and taking Wyatt down with a bulldog. The Lionsault looks to set up the Walls but Bray kicks him off. Jericho sends him into the cage and dropkicks Wyatt’s head into the steel. Bray stops another escape attempt and they slug it out on the top rope until Wyatt superplexes him down.

Both guys are on the mat but Bray Spiders up and crawls for the door, only to get caught by the legs. Bray kicks him away again and hits a release Rock Bottom for two. He tries a catapult into the cage but Jericho catches himself on the ropes and tries to climb. Bray catches him again and hammers away on the top rope before nailing a top rope hurricanrana.

Jericho goes to the top of the cage but the Wyatts get in his way. Instead he goes back up and dives onto Bray but comes up holding his knee. Chris takes his knee brace and pad down but can barely get over to the door. Bray tries a charge but Jericho low bridges him into the steel. He’s still able to stop Jericho with shots to (the wrong) knee. They’re on top of each other half out of the cage and elbowing each other in the head. Bray finally starts hitting the correct knee and crawls over Jericho to escape at 17:00.

Rating: B. I was digging this one and it was almost all Bray’s work winning it. The Wyatts stopping the win was fine and Jericho caused the knee injury himself. The ending worked quite well and made sense so the whole thing was on. I’m assuming the knee injury writes Jericho off TV and onto his concert tour.

Bray slams the cage door onto Jericho’s knee to further the damage. He crushes it against the steps and takes him back inside for Sister Abigail.

Rollins and Kane are very excited about what they just saw when HHH and Orton come in. HHH wants to do something special tonight so Orton offers to do something to Orton that makes what happened to Ambrose look like a day at Sunday School. HHH gives him permission to do something.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler with something to say. Cole confirms Miz vs. Ziggler for Night of Champions. Ziggler talks about how big of a week it was in Hollywood last week with the release of all the personal photos. This gives us one of WWE’s favorite comic tropes: wacky wrestling photos!.

We get stuff like Miz wearing a facial mask and shaving his chest (JBL: “So who was taking the pictures?”) but Miz and Sandow interrupt. Miz rants about the invasion of privacy, with Sandow mimicking his hand gestures almost perfectly. They threaten to go after Ziggler so Dolph say she might as well show the last photo: Sandow tanning a less than clothed Miz. Sandow comes in and gets dropkicked and Zig Zagged while Miz walks away.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Natalya/Rosa Mendes

Natalya takes Paige down to the mat to start and the Total Divas hit a double suplex on the Canadian. The idea here is that Natalya is mentoring Rosa, which I’m sure you know about after watching Total Divas last night. Pay no attention to the fact that the story would have started just after Wrestlemania but we’re just hearing about it now. Paige comes back on Rosa because she’s Rosa but misses a legdrop. Rosa won’t tag so Paige drives knees into her ribs. AJ grabs Paige’s hair for a tag and puts on the Black Widow to make Rosa tap at 2:36.

Post match the winners take turns kissing the Divas Title until AJ skips off.

We look back at the cage match and its aftermath.

Jericho is getting his knee looked at when Orton attacks him. “It’s the season premiere!”

Here’s Heyman for his weekly speech. He talks about walking through the valley of the Cenation, but he fears no thuganomics because he’s the advocate for Brock Lesnar. Heyman goes into his usual about Cena so here’s John to respond. The pose he makes on the stage with his hands on his hips really does make him look like a superhero.

Cena says that if Heyman wants to say something to his face, he’s right here. Heyman wants to give Cena some inside information: how to beat Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions. Cena says he knows how to do that already and it’s because of three simple words. Lesnar beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and we haven’t heard from him in six months. Then Lesnar beat Cena at Summerslam but Cena was ready to fight again. His three words are never give up and he hands Heyman a towel saying just that.

Heyman laughs and asks the fans if Cena just can’t help doing himself. He throws the towel down and says that’s Cena’s biggest problem: he lives to be John Cena. John is the kid that waits to come to the live events and chant LET’S GO CENA. But when Lesnar steps into the ring, he doesn’t hear anyone but the referee, Heyman, and his latest victim.

Paul has a gift for Cena tonight and tells him how to survive Lesnar: give in. Listen to those fans that chant CENA SUCKS and there’s no reason to fight anymore. Doesn’t Cena want to give in to that hatred when a fat unemployed man tells Cena that he sucks? Just one time doesn’t he want to tell them to shut up. Heyman offers to help Cena tell them to shut up and wants him to bust a rap on the fans.

Heyman demonstrates with some yo yo yoing and gets down on his knees to beg Cena to do it one time. He doesn’t need to sell his soul to the devil. All Cena has to do is forget this hustle loyalty and respect idea and then he can be the one that beat the 1 in 21-1. Or he can just be one of many victims that fell at Lesnar’s hands. Heyman gets in Cena’s face and says he believes in him, but Lesnar says Cena just doesn’t have it in him.

Cena actually goes to the ropes like Heyman wanted him to but comes back in. The dueling chants begin but Cena tells Heyman to shut up. Cena talks about how he’s not going to drop down to Heyman’s level to pop the fans in the second row and give them a reason to have a good laugh and then run back to the internet to tell Cena how much he sucks. Heyman lives in a world of “eat sleep conquer repeat” and he’d stab Lesnar in the back to get a chance to get himself forward.

Cena admits that Heyman is intelligence but he has no idea what it’s like to live a life with meaning. John’s world is “Eat, sleep, be John Cena, repeat” because that’s what he was born to be. He doesn’t want to change even if he could and loves to be the guy that makes that kid right there do his homework early so he can come here and cheer.

Cena does like being the guy the fathers come up to and say they don’t like him but thanks for doing right by his kid. He likes being the guy that a Make-A-Wish kid wants to spend the day with. He likes being the guy that gets to meet Purple Heart recipients on some Friday night who tell him that Cena inspires him and hands Cena the Purple Heart.

Now Heyman wants Cena to throw all that away to win one match. Paul backs off but Cena says this is what Heyman must love. This is the chance to get all that rage and hatred out of John Cena. John isn’t going to beat up Heyman here because it’s not worth it, but he’ll give Heyman one week to produce Lesnar for a fight. But if Lesnar wants another week off and let Heyman do his business for him then Cena is going to fight Heyman himself. Awesome exchange between two masters here.

Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. Sheamus elbows Rollins out to the floor where Rollins picks up the briefcase and lays it in the corner. Back in and a knee lift and suplex get two for Sheamus. The rolling fireman’s carry sets up a clothesline to put Rollins on the floor but here’s Cesaro for a distraction as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Sheamus fights up with elbows to the ribs. He tries the top rope shoulder but only hits mat, allowing Rollins to put the hold back on. This time Sheamus fights to his feet and drops Rollins onto his back for another escape. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two for Sheamus but Cesaro picks up the US Title for another distraction. Seth grabs a rollup for two and walks into another powerslam. Now Cesaro gets up on the apron, allowing Rollins to drive him into the buckle. The Curb Stomp gets the pin on Sheamus at 10:00.

Rating: C-. The Curb Stomp didn’t look good at the end but at least the win wasn’t clean. Sheamus vs. Cesaro is actually getting a build this time instead of just throwing it out there for a match. The problem is we’ve seen it so many times that it’s harder to care again. At least they’re getting a big stage for it.

Post match Cesaro does Sheamus’ pose and Neutralizes him.

We recap Henry and Rusev from last week.

Here are Lana and Rusev to make fun of the national anthem before having the Russian version played.

Video on NXT Takeover II.

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd/Tyler Breeze

Well this is a surprise. Sami snaps off some armdrags on Breeze to start before spinning him into an armbar. It’s off to Kidd for a chinlock before Breeze comes in with a series of forearms. A neckbreaker gets two on Sami and it’s back to Tyson for another chinlock. Sami jawbreaks his way to freedom and spins over for a hot tag to Neville.

The fans don’t seem to care that much but Neville’s rapid fire kicks wake them up a bit. A standing shooting star gets two and Kidd is sent to the floor for a big dive from Sami. Neville flips forward twice in a row and kicks Breeze in the head, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin on Breeze at 4:23.

Rating: C. Just a showcase match here to get people to watch on Thursday. No one really knew who these people were but the fans waking up for the offense from Neville is a good sign. I got to see Sami at a live event a few years back and he did the exact same thing. That’s the sign of talent and it was on display here.

Here’s Stephanie to talk about her history in this arena. She even fought her father in this building about ten years ago, but they’ve since made up. Now it’s time to bring the Bellas back together and there’s one man that could do just that. The fans chant for Jerry and here’s Springer himself. Springer recaps the Bella drama and brings out both girls for the big talk.

Brie blames Nikki for all the problems and uses the “died in the womb line” again, drawing the same dead silence it got the first time. Nikki talks about how tired she is of being a second class sister and brags about her show having such good ratings. Brie talks about how this started at Summerslam but Springer shows us a montage of them having very stupid arguments over petty things on Total Divas.

Nikki blames Brie for their dad leaving and we get quick videos from the parents saying they never knew Nikki was this unhappy. Brie tries to bring this back to wrestling stuff but drags it down again by saying she has their brother JJ in their corner. JJ is here of course (billed as JJ Garcia after Jerry called him JJ Bella) and has to come out to the Total Divas song. JJ tells Nikki to stop acting like a victim and the brawl is on. Nikki accidentally slaps JJ so Brie spears her down. The Bellas, Springer and Stephanie get in a big pileup as this just keeps going. Referees break it up and Springer is taken out on a stretcher.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Stardust takes Primo into the corner to start but the masked man knocks him outside. The Dusts tease taking a walk and get caught with a big double dive. Back inside and Goldust throws Diego into the corner before tagging in Stardust for Dark Matter and the pin at 2:10.

The Usos jump the Dusts on the stage, sending the golden ones running.

We get a tribute to Joan Rivers.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

The guys slug it out in the ring as the camera stays on the bunny. Titus throws Rose down but goes after the Bunny who wants to fight. Slater misses a dive and gets superkicked by the Bunny, allowing Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:20.

The Bunny hits a Superfly Splash for good measure. Cole and JBL are STUNNED.

Roman Reigns has the antidote for the Viper and holds up his fist.

Video on Lesnar’s dominance of Cena.

Lesnar will be on Raw next week.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This actually gets big match intros. Reigns punches him to the floor to start but Randy sends him face first into the steps for two. A quick suplex gets the same for Roman and he runs Orton over with a clothesline. Orton bails back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Reigns in a chinlock before taking it outside again. Reigns fights back and rams him back first into the apron and barricade.

They head to the apron with Randy sending him into the buckle and nailing a superplex for two. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and nailing a Samoan drop for two. He hits the ropes but charges into a powerslam to give Orton a near fall of his own. The Elevated DDT is countered into the Apron Boot and the jumping clothesline gets two. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for the same but charges into a boot.

Reigns dives into another powerslam for another two and the second attempt at the Elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered though and Roman nails a Superman Punch out of nowhere. Reigns can’t cover though so Orton calls out Kane and Rollins who bring security with them for the DQ at 20:24.

Rating: B. Nice long main event here and I kind of like the non-finish for a change. Reigns has already beaten Orton clean so there’s no need to see him do it again. The opposite is true for Orton as he has no need to lose twice in a row to Reigns. Also this helps to set up Rollins vs. Reigns at Night of Champions, though I’m not sure what Orton does at the show.

The guards are actually tech guys who lower the cage and lock it into place. Reigns fights back though and cleans house, leaving him alone with Orton and a chair. Rollins pulls a Jericho and dives off the top of the cage to take out Reigns but he might have hit the chair as well. Kane gets back in and sends Roman into the cage a few times before planting him with a chokeslam. Orton gets the chair and destroys Reigns while shouting that it isn’t Roman’s day. Rollins puts Reigns’ head on the chair and says that he made Roman. A Curb Stomp onto the chair ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show wasn’t great but this was a HUGE improvement over last week’s mess. First and foremost, they kept the Bellas to ONE segment instead of the five or so from last week. The Springer stuff was a waste of time but at least it was short. The main event felt big and the NXT guys were a nice treat. You couple that with a good cage match and the show was much easier to sit through. It wasn’t a great show or anything and cutting out an hour would have helped, but it’s good enough.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Chris Jericho – Wyatt escaped the cage

Paige/AJ Lee b. Natalya/Rosa Mendes – Black Widow to Mendes

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Curb Stomp

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze/Tyson Kidd – Red Arrow to Breeze

Goldust/Stardust b. Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Diego

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Party Foul

Roman Reigns b. Randy Orton via DQ when Kane and Seth Rollins interfered




Checked Out Some WWE Network Specials

And got some mixed results.First up was the Cena vs. Lesnar prelude.  This was good but we’ve seen about half of it on Raw already.  It runs 28 minutes and has one really good moment.

Heyman: “Let me explain to you what it means for Brock Lesnar to beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Let’s say you’ve been elected President of the United States. WOW! What an honor! You’re the most powerful man in the world…..but about forty people have done that. It’s a great accomplishment yes, but it’s not exclusive.

Then let’s say one day you run for God and actually win. Well there’s only been one being to hold that position. Brock Lesnar did that.”

It’s not bad but it would be much better for someone who hasn’t seen any WWE TV in the last month and wasn’t around in 2002.

Next up was the main event: the Shield’s Journey to Summerslam. I had a blast with this and it’s an awesome documentary. It covers each guy individually and shows their paths to the WWE, even showing ROH, CZW and Dragon Gate USA clips. WHere else are you going to see that in something from WWE? It’s really entertaining and interesting and made me want to see these three succeed. The fact that they’re all about 28 years old and this polished is incredible. It runs just under an hour and it’s more than worth checking out.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 18, 2014

WWE is coming off the pretty awesome Summerslam pay per view and the question now is where do we go from here. Night of Champions is in five weeks and in theory we’re coming up on Brock vs. Cena III. It’s hard to say how Cena is going to do, but there’s a chance that Cena is going to get the title back already and I can see why they would go that route. Let’s get to it.

In what almost has to be a rib, Stephanie (again looking gorgeous in jeans and a tight t-shirt) started the show to talk about Brie Bella. This led to Stephanie bringing out Nikki Bella to explain why she turned on her sister. It’s exactly what you would expect: she was angry at Brie for making everything about herself and abandoning her. Brie came out and did the big heartfelt plea to her sister and got slapped in the face for her efforts. In case you didn’t get this, don’t worry as this would air FOUR TIMES on Monday.

Here’s the thing and I’ve said it several times before: the majority of the fans do not care about the Bellas fighting over whatever their issue is. The match is going to be a disaster and the promos are going to be even worse, but the worst part is that this opened the show. With everything else that happened at Summerslam, this is what opened Monday Night Raw. Is it any shock that the ratings were down this week?

Big Show/Mark Henry beat the Wyatt Family in a pretty good power match. Erick Rowan slammed Big Show in a very impressive power display. Other than that this was the usual back and forth match that you would expect with Henry World’s Strongest Slamming Rowan for the pin. In theory this sets up the giants vs. the Usos and eventually Henry vs. Big Show because that’s how tag team wrestling works.

Ric Flair had a cameo with Dolph Ziggler. As long as that’s the extent of their association, I’m fine.

Seth Rollins was bragging about winning the lumberjack match but Dean Ambrose poured a bucket of ice water over his head. Ambrose: “It’s for charity!” A brawl ensued but didn’t go anywhere. After the break, the Authority made Rollins vs. Ambrose again for tonight with the fans picking the stipulations.

AJ cost Paige a win over Natalya (now wearing shorts) because that’s the only thing the writers know how to do.

The big segment of the show was HHH bringing out Lesnar and Heyman to present Brock with the new WWE World Title belt. Heyman’s promo was the usual awesome performance where he talked about Cena being a tough guy and THE guy for the last ten years, only to have him lose to Brock on Sunday. Lesnar conquered Brock Lesnar just like he should have done. Nothing much to say here but it was as good as you would expect it to be.

The Miz beat Dolph Ziggler via countout in a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. This seems to set up another match between them, but it’s nothing I want to see again.

Cesaro beat Jack Swagger in a short but intense match. The idea here is that Swagger is disappointing himself after his loss on Sunday. Bo Dallas came out post match and told Swagger to Bo-Lieve. I can dig Swagger vs. Dallas.

Jericho is still talking about Wyatt. A third match with a gimmick wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.

RVD/Reigns/Sheamus beat Ryback/Axel/Orton. Again it seems like we’re setting up Orton vs. Reigns II with a gimmick and that’s not the worst idea in the world. Reigns didn’t get the pin for some reason, which you would think would be the right idea on a match like this. The only interesting thing in the match was Ryback getting a big hometown pop. I’d still love to see him get a nice push as a face again.

Orton threatened Flair after a break. Please, no more Flair.

Bray Wyatt declared himself the face of salvation.

Goldust/Stardust beat the Usos in a non-title match. Methinks we’re getting a multi-team match in the future.

Lana and Rusev talked and Mark Henry made the save. It’s not a good sign that they have Henry in two stories at the same time.

The main event was Ambrose vs. Rollins II in a falls count anywhere match. This was a great brawl with both guys beating the tar out of each other and a bunch of near falls. There was an insane spot with Rollins powerbombing Ambrose onto a pile of chairs for two. Kane interfered because that’s what he does anymore and cost Ambrose the match. It ended with Rollins hitting a Curb Stomp onto a conveniently placed stack of cinder blocks. The story after the show ended has Ambrose running away from medics and disappearing. It’s a way to let him make a movie because that’s more important than a hot feud on WWE TV.

Raw was a good but not great show as they set up some stuff for the next rematch PPV with gimmicks attached. Lesnar and Heyman were as awesome as ever and Heyman can more than carry the act in Lesnar’s absence. The return of Cena next week should be interesting and we get to hear some great promos along the way. This wasn’t the best followup show in the world but the fall looks so much better than last years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 11, 2014

It was the go home show for Summerslam as well as a special birthday celebration for our hero Hulk Hogan. The interesting thing is that Brock and Cena are both in the house, meaning we’re almost guaranteed a showdown later on in the night. The build to Summerslam has taken forever but the last part can often be the best. Let’s get to it.

Heyman and Lesnar opened things up and talked about how Brock conquered the Streak and will conquer John Cena at Summerslam. People said he couldn’t beat the Undertaker and now they’re saying the same about Cena. Heyman acknowledged the loss at Extreme Rules 2012 and blamed it on Brock’s illness. That’s not the worst excuse but I don’t think it needed to be brought up. It’s not a bad thing but it didn’t need to happen either. The best part about this though was Heyman’s rhyming, which print doesn’t do justice. Find it on Youtube as it’s worth watching for how serious he plays it. Solid opening promo here but did you expect anything else?

Corporate Kane gave Roman Reigns a handicap match against Ryback/Axel with Reigns winning via DQ. I get the idea of it being a hit from the Authority, but since Reigns fought them off and laid both guys out after the match, what was the point of the DQ?

Orton taunted Kane, and apparently grew about four inches in the process. Seriously he was at Kane’s forehead.

Seth Rollins beat RVD in a nice match that you expect from Van Dam anymore. Post match Ambrose popped out of one of Hogan’s presents and chased off Rollins in a cool moment.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show: rehashing the Clair Lynch story from TNA. Short version: Bryan is sleeping with his physical therapist and Stephanie taunted Brie about it. Brie slapped the therapist and beat up Stephanie, earning her an arrest later in the show. Here’s the thing: Bryan isn’t advertised for Summerslam, despite this being the way to bring him into the story.

There’s a very simple way to get Bryan involved in this and it’s called have him stand in the corner and clap. Let me repeat that in case it went over people’s heads. Daniel Bryan can best be utilized in this story by having him stand in Brie Bella’s corner and clap. For the life of me I do not understand why this REALLY basic match and angle have been turned into some huge story involving infidelity and Brie trying to do something historic (still waiting to find out what that is). Have Bryan stand in the corner while Stephanie beats up Brie until Bella puts her in the YES Lock and makes her tap out. It should take twelve minutes counting entrances and celebration. Oh and it should NEVER CLOSE RAW OR BRING UP CLAIR LYNCH EVER!

Jack Swagger beat Cesaro in a good match. How in the world did Jack Swagger wind up being the Shawn Michaels of the team? The Russians came out and did nothing.

Wyatt and Jericho had a sitdown meeting where they said about what you would expect them to say. I’m not sure why this was recorded in a room and not done in the ring.

Paige cost AJ a match against Eva Marie and read a bad poem about beating AJ after the match. What I don’t understand was why Eva was fine to roll AJ up but then was down like she had gotten beaten up. I know she sucks in the ring, but DEAR GOODNESS does she look good in those outfits.

Cena gave a long response to Lesnar with a focus on Lesnar not deserving the title because Brock is in this just for the money and thinks he deserves to be champion because he’s Brock Lesnar. As usual, Cena nails the hard sell like few others can. Fortunately for us, Heyman is one of the few that can hang with and even best Cena at this stuff. The match is going to be amazing too.

Miz got Dolph Ziggler counted out against Heath Slater. In other words, Paige got AJ pinned by Eva Marie. Same story twice in an hour.

Orton beat Sheamus in a good match. There weren’t any big storyline developments here. Just two high level guys having a thirteen minute match and making it entertaining. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan’s birthday celebration was the big ending with a bunch of legends coming out. Lesnar came back but Cena saved the legends and posed with Hogan to end the show. This was fine, though I wouldn’t have minded it going longer.

Overall Raw was the usual good go home show for a big pay per view and I want to see the show more than I did before. Hogan’s stuff was exactly what it should have been and likely would have been bigger had it not been the Monday before Summerslam. It was a good night though and the best Raw in a few weeks. That’s good going into Summerslam, which has potential to be a very awesome event.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 16: Paul Heyman

Today we’re starting a mini series in this series with Paul Heyman.

There are going to be some big jumps in this as Heyman has only had a handful of matches in his career.

We’ll start with the feud that got Heyman on the map: Heyman/the Original Midnight Express vs. Jim Cornette/the Midnight Express. The short version of this is the team had changed members a few times and Heyman was bringing back two former members to fight the most famous version. This led to a six man tag at Chi-Town Rumble.

Midnight Express/Jim Cornette vs. Jack Victory/Randy Rose/Paul E. Dangerously

This was a pretty good angle with a pretty cool backstory. Ok so WAY back in the day, the original Midnight Express was Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. They teamed for awhile (along with a third man named Norvell Austin) and were the original Midnight Express. They left Southeast Championship Wrestling where they got started and Condrey went to Mid-South Wrestling where he was put together with Condrey as the Midnight Express. This is the version that feuded with the Rock N Roll Express and is probably the most successful version.

Now here comes the interesting part. One day the Express was scheduled to go to California for a show. Condrey never showed up. No one is quite sure where he went but he wasn’t seen for years. One day he popped up in the AWA with Randy Rose and said they were the Midnight Express. At the same time, Eaton teamed up with Stan Lane to become the latest form of the Midnight Express.

So then the Midnights (Lane and Eaton) got crushed by the Road Warriors for the world titles. On TV one night Cornette got a phone call by someone making fun of them. Then Dangerously, Rose and Condrey ran out and it was Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express. Then Condrey left again and that’s why Jack Victory is here now. The feud never got as good as they were hoping but the Starrcade match was pretty great.

The person to take the fall here is gone and since Condrey is gone, is there any doubt as to who is taking the fall here? Lane vs. Rose starts us off and Rose goes sailing to the floor. Cornette comes in and drops an elbow so he can strut a bit. Off to Victory who doesn’t do well either so let’s try Rose again against Eaton. The good guys are dominating this. The heels mess up again and Dangerously clocks Rose by mistake. JR makes fun of it, saying it’s not like it hurt or anything.

Lane vs. Rose at the moment but it’s off to Eaton quickly. They go to the apron and Eaton goes crashing onto the railing to totally shift momentum. The railing is the old faithful way to change things. Dangerously comes in, pounds away a bit, ducks a right hand and runs away to bring Rose back in. Cornette wants Dangerously and the fans sound like they want to see it too.

Instead Rose gets his hands on Cornette and to his credit he takes a quick beating. Off to Dangerously now who is acting like a true heel manager, only coming in when his opponent is in trouble. Cornette gets in a single shot but Dangerously runs to Rose again. Jim finally gets in a tag to Lane who meets Jack Victory but Dangerously interferes to give the heels the advantage again.

The fans are all over Paulie here as Rose jumps to the floor to take Lane down again. Lane gets beaten on for a good while and is in a chinlock by Rose. There’s the hot tag to Eaton after some kicks to the ribs by Lane (his specialty) and a missile dropkick almost kills Victory. In a cool bit, Eaton walks Victory’s half out cold body over to Dangerously and grabs Victory’s hand to slap Paul.

Paul is dragged in to face Cornette and this is the part everyone has been waiting for. Cornette beats on him for a bit and it’s off to Lane vs. Rose again. Rose misses a splash but Victory saves the pin. Everything breaks down and a double flapjack is enough for the pin on Rose. That’s an old Midnight trademark so it’s cool to see that instead of the Rocket Launcher or cheating.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it’s always cool to hear that sweet Midnight Express theme song time and time again. The ending was never really in doubt and this eventually lead to Heyman becoming the top heel announcer a little bit after this. Still though it was a good match, although nowhere near the Starrcade one.

Here’s the next part of the blowoff, from Great American Bash 1988.

Jim Cornette vs. Paul E. Dangerously

This is a Tuxedo Match where you have to strip the opponent of the tux in order to win. It’s a men’s evening gown match in other words. This is a BIG feud as Dangerously had tried to copy Cornette’s every trademark but kept losing. All of Dangerously’s guys have been destroyed by Cornette’s so we’re left with this as the final blowoff.

Cornette throws a “punch” but gets powder thrown in his eyes. Paulie goes after the knee with his phone and both guys lose their jackets. Paul gets a punch to the….shoulder? More clothes come off as Jim makes his comeback. He can’t walk though so that doesn’t work that well. To the floor now and more knee shots from Paul. This is almost all Paul here.

Cornette freaking HULKS UP and Paul is in trouble. Caudle: “Let’s see some clothes come off here!” There goes the shirt…and down they both go. Well I’m glad they kept the momentum for that long. Paul goes for more powder, it goes into his face, there go his pants, they’re blue if you’re wondering, and he runs away as Cornette celebrates.

Rating: C+. Just a comedy match and nothing serious at all but it was fun and the right guy won it. Also Heyman being humiliated is always fun to see.

Now we’ll jump ahead to Great American Bash 1991 as Paul E. has run his mouth too much and is going to get beaten up in a cage match at Madusa’s hands.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

Yeah there’s still this to go. Why is it here? To send the fans home “happy”. JR admits there’s almost no time left. Missy looks better as a brunette. This was supposed to be a six man with Scott and Barry in there, but Scott got hurt by Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater. Speaking of them, they come out to kidnap Missy and make it a handicap match. You know, taking away THE ONLY REASON THIS MATCH EXISTS! This is nothing as they don’t care and there’s no time left. Steiner suplexes Arn down and Paul tags in for no apparent reason. Anderson goes down, Paul gets slammed and clotheslined for the pin. Nothing match.

A year and a half later, same idea, same people. From Clash of the Champions XXI.

Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa

This has a five minute time limit. Paul wears headgear on for the match. Madusa charges into the ring and gets blasted with Paul’s phone off camera, knocking her out cold. Dangerously says he wants what everyone else in the locker room has gotten: a kiss from Madusa. He bends down to her but Madusa’s hair falls off, revealing Mike Thor from earlier. Madusa sneaks in behind him and kicks Paul in the back of the head.

A slam puts Paul down again and he tries to run. Madusa throws him back in but gets tripped up by Hayes. We’re under two minutes to go and Paul poses over her. A top rope ax handle has no effect on Madusa and she dropkicks him down. Madusa rips his clothes off and Paul runs away as time expires.

Rating: D-. This was a bad execution of a decent idea. The Mike Thor stuff didn’t really do anything other than eat up time and the match didn’t make Madusa look tough as much as it made Paul look inept. I see no reason not to have Madusa get a pin here and the humiliation route didn’t do much. This was also Paul’s last appearance in WCW as a contract dispute sent him running off to Philadelphia and ECW.

Now we jump ahead ten years to Judgment Day 2002 as Heyman is an accessory to a murder.

Hardy Boys vs. Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar

Brock had debuted the night after Mania and he needed a first feud I guess. He’s been destroying people right and left so this is pretty much a given. Brock doesn’t even have his signature music yet. The Hardys jump Lesnar to do what they can earlier to get at Heyman. That lasts about 4 seconds as Brock just goes off on Jeff to start us off. Ross HATES Heyman here and the commentary is funny stuff.

Brock beats up both guys with ease as neither Hardy can do a thing with him. The fans chant for Goldberg. Trust me, you don’t want Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman keeps orgasming over Brock every 2 seconds. Brock destroys Matt with ease as I guess we’re waiting on Jeff to come in. Matt gets a tornado DDT to break the momentum and make Paul terrified. There’s Jeff who hits the Whisper in the Wind and some double teaming puts Brock down for a bit.

Poetry in Motion hits Brock and Lesnar is sent to the floor. Heyman runs as fast as he can but gets caught in the ring by Matt. Poetry in Motion takes him down but Brock ends Matt. Brock stands in front of the Swanton so Jeff dives on him. In the words of Tazz, here comes the pain. HUGE F5 puts Jeff down and Heyman gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as the Hardys best stuff got nothing in there on Brock. They were there to make Brock look good and that’s what they did. Brock would be King of the Ring in the next month and therefore the #1 contender for the eventual Champion The Rock at Summerslam where he would become a star.

Heyman would help Brock defend the title at Rebellion 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman

Edge can pin either guy to win the title. Lesnar won the title at Summerslam and is the most mind blowing guy anyone can remember in forever. Edge is the hottest thing in the world though and this is allegedly his first title shot. Heyman of course looks terrified. He would turn on Brock at Survivor Series. Brock doesn’t want Edge to even look at the title.

Heyman channels his inner Cody Deaner and turns the hat around backwards. Brock basically tells Heyman to stay in the corner and let him handle this. This should be really good actually. Brock uses pure power to start but Edge out moves him. Brock is like screw this and charges, throwing Edge back into the corner.

Edge sends him to the floor and Brock chills for a bit. More or less Edge’s only chance is to use speed moves. Edge makes fun of Brock’s pose and Brock charges, flying over the top. He destroys some steps because he can. We hit the floor for a bit with Edge in control. Heyman grabs Edge’s foot so Brock can take over. Heyman goes insane, skipping around ringside and celebrating his triumph.

Never mind as Edge drops him almost immediately. Edge wants the Edgecution but Brock is like boy I’m Brock and suplexes him. Back to the floor again and Edge is sent into the post. Back in and it’s all Lesnar as he works on the back. Brock gets a freaky looking Boston Crab where instead of wrapping his arms around the legs he grabs them with his hands and pulls back. Never seen that before.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last incredibly long. Brock grabs him around the waist in more or less a reverse bearhug on the mat. Edge finally fights him off and has Brock in some trouble. Baseball slide drills Heyman again but Edge walks into a spinebuster to take over again. Lesnar charges in the corner and his shoulder goes into the post to give Edge a chance.

Edge speeds things up and hits an Edge-O-Matic (it’s that reverse X-Factor where he grabs the guy by the head and slams them into the mat back first) for two. Edge pulls Heyman in and apparently can pin him without him tagging in. Edge gets a dive off the top to the floor to take out Lesnar. Ok, why in the world would you do that when you could just roll up Heyman and get the title?

Back in the ring a missile dropkick takes down Lesnar for two. The fans are getting into this now. Cross body takes out the referee by mistake and the F5 is countered into the Edgecution (elevated DDT since no one but me uses these names anymore). Paul throws Brock a chair but Edge gets a spear out of nowhere for two. Edge comes off the top but jumps into a chair shot and the F5 ends this.

Rating: B-. The main issue here was that it ran long, going almost 20 minutes. Fun stuff for the most part but at the same time it needed to be a bit shorter to really make this work as well as possible. Edge looked good as did Lesnar. You have to keep in mind here that Edge wasn’t a main event guy yet and Brock was brand new to it. This would be almost like Miz vs. Kofi or something like that. Fun match though and it wasn’t boring at all.

Heyman would screw Brock over at Survivor Series 2002, setting up this match on March 6, 2003 on Smackdown.

Paul Heyman vs. Brock Lesnar

Oh and it’s in a cage to make it even better. Heyman has Team Angle with him and looks rightfully terrified. If Brock wins, he gets a World Title shot against Angle next week. Team Angle beats on Brock to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Brock fights back and sends both guys into the steel over and over. Haas and Benjamin are thrown to the floor as Angle guards Heyman. Lesnar goes after him and Kurt gets in a cheap shot, only to be sent into the cage.

Heyman gets sent inside and the bell rings. A bloody Kurt climbs into the cage and chop blocks Brock before nailing him with an Angle Slam. Paul gets two off of it so Angle puts Brock in the ankle lock. Brock is still able to get his hands on Heyman and kicks Kurt away but has to go after Heyman in the corner. He loads Paul up, kicks Angle in the face, and hits the F5 for the pin and the title shot. There’s not enough match to rate but it’s an angle instead of a match. Brock looked like a beast though and that’s the important thing.

We’ll jump ahead to ECW on Sci-Fi, with Heyman in singles action on August 29, 2006.

Paul Heyman vs. Sabu

It’s Extreme Rules. The security guards (the Bashams but I don’t think that was ever revealed on TV) jump Sabu on the way to the ring of course. Since this is ECW though Sabu beats up both guards who are in riot gear, but Big Show makes save #2 for Heyman before Sabu can, you know, kill him. Show CRACKS Sabu’s head with a chair as I’m sure you can get where this is going already. Sabu is busted already and the three guys not named Heyman beat him down with Big Show holding him so Paul can get in a shot.

We get out first table of the night (that has to be a record for ECW as the show is almost over) as Heyman dances around the ring and calls himself the Messiah. Show lifts Sabu up into a gorilla press position to put him through the table on the floor, but of course he holds him just long enough for RVD to come out for the save. Van Daminator takes down Big Show and it’s kicks for the Bashams.

Sabu finally gets his hands on Heyman and destroys him for a bit, even hitting the Arabian Facebuster. Sabu and Van Dam put Heyman on the table but Big Show pulls Sabu out of the air on the dive attempt. That’s always cool to see. Cue run-in #5 (I’ve lost count) in the form of Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam to Van Dam through the table as Show hits that walking legdrop thing, giving Heyman the pin.

Rating: C-. This is more ECW’s style: a totally mindless and insane brawl with massive carnage. It was clear what they were going for as soon as they said Extreme Rules, but that’s ok here. They had to do something to keep this from being Heyman getting killed for eight minutes, and having all these people come out allows for more stories to be advanced. Not a good match or anything but it was fun in an insane sort of way.

We’ll jump ahead again to Night of Champions 2013 as CM Punk FINALLY gets his hands on former partner Paul Heyman.

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

No DQ and it’s under elimination rules. Heyman of course hides on the floor as the other guys swing kendo sticks at each other. Axel gets in a shot but Punk comes back with a series of his own to take over. Curtis gets knocked down and Punk dives through the ropes to get at Heyman. Paul is taken into the ring and put in a chinlock before Punk picks up the stick. CM takes too long though and a low blow drops Punk. Curtis pounds away and gets in some stick shots to the back.

The beating continues as Heyman does Brock’s bounce on the floor. The fans still want tables but they get chops and forearms from Punk instead. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of the head for two and it’s table time, making Curtis the most over guy in the arena for a split second. The table is set up in the corner but Punk blocks a suplex through the table, only to have Axel do the same. Axel takes Punk down again and we hit another chinlock.

Punk fights up and sends Curtis into a chair in the corner, knocking Axel to the floor. Back in and Punk hits his swinging neckbreaker and the knee into the corner. Axel rolls away before the Macho Elbow and gets in a chair shot for two. The lone boring chant is blocked out by a Punk chant as Axel gets two off a neckbreaker of his own. Heyman shouts that Axel is better than Punk as Curtis strolls around the ring. More kendo stick shots to Punk’s back get two but Punk counters the neckbreaker into the cutter into the GTS. The Anaconda Vice gets the tap out at 10:40 to get us down to Punk vs. Heyman.

Punk wisely keeps the hold on to knock Axel out even more before going after Heyman. Heyman slowly walks around the ring before running up the ramp, only to go into the crowd and back to ringside. Punk catches him in the ring and pulls on Heyman’s ears and nose. Punk gets the stick but Heyman hugs him. The smile on Punk’s face is rather creepy as he canes Heyman down. Heyman: “OH THAT HURTS!” Punk pounds away before calling for the GTS. He’s not ready yet though as he pulls out the handcuffs from his boot, just like Heyman used on him for the big beating a few weeks ago.

Heyman tries to tap out but the fans think this is awesome. Heyman begs for mercy, making it even better. Punk hits him very slowly with the stick and says to remember that it was him doing this to Paul. Heyman tries to tap with his foot so Punk promises to break Paul’s face. Cue Ryback to drive Punk through the table, slicing Punk’s back open in a scary looking visual. Heyman is placed on top for the pin at 1 5:56.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: Punk getting some revenge, only to have Heyman debut his new guy to give Punk a real challenge next month at Battleground. At the end of the day, Axel just isn’t competition for CM Punk and everyone knew it. Ryback isn’t a huge star, but he’s a much bigger deal than Axel and gives Punk a much better challenge. Good choice here and the perfect booking.

The feud with Punk continued at Hell in a Cell 2013, but first up is a warmup match on Smackdown, October 25, 2013.

Ryback/Paul Heyman vs. CM Skunk

You read the name right. This is No DQ as a preview for Sunday. Heyman says this will be a demonstration of the teamwork you’ll see inside the Cell on Sunday. Skunk comes out to Punk’s music and in a black hoodie but the fans quickly catch on to the joke. He has a skunk stripe painted into his hair. Ryback destroys him with the ease you would expect and hits two powerbombs in a row. Heyman pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and hits about twenty shots to Skunk’s back. Shell Shock ends Skunk with Heyman getting the pin at 2:42.

Another chance for Punk at Hell in a Cell 2013. Yes this is a stretch.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Post match Punk climbs up after Heyman while carrying the kendo stick. The beating begins and Punk wears him out before hitting the GTS to end the feud. Not exactly a huge spot but it’s as good as we’re going to get I guess.

Paul Heyman is a manager instead of a wrestler, but at the same time he’s a guy that is going to be able to talk a lot, get his client in trouble, then often take part of the beating to end the feud. That’s Bobby Heenan 101 and it’s never going to fail. He’s become one of the best managers of all time and the guy is just great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: July 28, 2014

We’re heading into Summerslam and one major thing stood out to me about this episode of Raw. Was it the World Title match? The grudge match between Ambrose and Rollins? Wyatt vs. Jericho II? Maybe even Rusev vs. Swagger? Of course not. I have a feeling I’ll have a lot to say about this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focused on Brie and Stephanie, plus some other stuff from last week.

Cena opened the show and talked about how he knows he’s coming into Summerslam for the beating of his life but he’s going to fight for everything he’s worth. Heyman came out and got in an argument with Cena where they talked about what passion meant. Cena brought up ECW and touched a chord with Heyman, as you would expect him to.

There was a lot of talk about Brock wanting to make Cena a victim just like the Undertaker. Heyman is reaching new levels of milking a single match, but that’s exactly why they gave Brock the Streak and it’s working like charm. This was really solid stuff and made me think that Cena is going to lose, but it’s going to be in a war.

Speaking of a war, Cesaro came out at the end of the promo and started a match with Cena. Cesaro wound up losing to a top rope AA, but it was the kind of battle you would expect. I really wish they could have a match where Cesaro had even a prayer of winning. The match was a great back and forth brawl between two guys that can work the heck out of a power brawl.

After Stephanie freaked out about Brie Bella, Orton came in to complain about Reigns costing him the World Title shot last week. This led to HHH telling Orton to take care of Reigns. The match at Summerslam just has to be made official at this point.

Paige and AJ had another chat but Paige made the mistake of calling her crazy. I’m assuming the submission match is coming at Summerslam. Also, I could get used to Paige skipping around and smiling very quickly.

HHH and Stephanie came out for their serious chat about the Brie Bella issue but Jericho cut them off for his usual magic with Stephanie. Rollins wound up jumping Jericho to set up their match later tonight.

Summerslam 1998 is airing on the Network this Sunday. I dig the idea, but I really don’t care about sitting down at 8 this Sunday when I could start the show, say, now.

The Usos and Ziggler beat Ryback/Axel/Miz. Standard combine two matches into a six man with nothing all that interesting to it.

R-Truth beat Bo Dallas in less than a minute. They had to get Dallas’ first loss out of the way at some point and it’s better to do it now than have him lose all his heat in one match.

Lana and Colter’s argument this week was about the flag.

Adam Rose beat Damien Sandow in less than forty seconds. Somehow I think this is the payoff for Sandow.

Roman Reigns vs. Kane never happened as Orton jumped Reigns from the crowd and destroyed him. Again, the match is obvious and just waiting for the announcement.

Diego beat Fandango to continue the issues with Layla/Summer Rae. Nothing to the match but GOOD NIGHT did Summer look great in the matador outfit.

Naomi/Natalya beat Alicia Fox/Cameron in yet another nothing match. There have been way too many of those on this show.

Chris Jericho had Seth Rollins beat in a good match when the Wyatts interfered. This is another case where the ending was obvious and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The big ending segment was Stephanie coming out and confronting Brie Bella. The end result was Brie getting her job back but wanting a match against Stephanie at Summerslam. This was a fine segment, but WHY IN THE WORLD WAS THIS THE CLOSING SEGMENT TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW??? I’m fine with them fighting on pay per view, but there is no reason for this to be the last thing we see.

Stephanie McMahon is a great heel, but at the end of the day, Brie Bella isn’t anything special. She’s Daniel Bryan’s wife, but Bryan isn’t around right now. Brie is just another boring Diva in a large group of them. With all the big stuff they have coming up at Summerslam, I see no reason for this to be the feature attraction.

Overall Raw was….different. WAY too much stuff felt like it didn’t matter, but at the same time, so much of Summerslam is either official or obvious that it’s just building at this point. The problem here though is you need this kind of stuff to fill in a three hour show. It’s almost like a three hour show every week is a REALLY bad idea.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2014 (Full Version): Priorities

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2014
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week closer to Summerslam and the major match is already set. The interesting thing coming out of last week is Stephanie being arrested for her battery against Brie Bella last week. Other than that the stage is being set for Summerslam, including Reigns vs. Orton which should be announced soon.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Brie and Stephanie’s issues from last week. I have a feeling they’re going to make this a far bigger deal than it should be. We also see Reigns attacking Orton and Brock being announced as the #1 contender. The latter two things are almost tacked on.

Here’s an upset Cena to get things going. He talks about how he’s usually excited to be here in Houston but he’s very worried about what’s coming. The Authority has marked him, and now he has to face the ultimate beast Brock Lesnar. Cena hoped it would never come to this, but now his nightmare has come to life. Brock Lesnar’s destruction is precise and he destroys what he wants, when he wants. Forty men have been WWE Champion but one man has defeated the Streak.

For once Heyman is telling the truth: at Summerslam, Cena will receive the beating of a lifetime. He’s going to get hurt but he’s going to fight. Cena beat Brock in 2012 and he can do it again here. No one can control Brock Lesnar. Not the people, not the Authority, and not Paul Heyman.

This brings out Heyman, with the fans saying the catchphrases along with him. Paul very slowly says that Brock will win the title at Summerslam, but he commends Cena for understanding that a beating is coming his way. However, the words about fighting are mighty strong from someone about to become a victim. Cena may have come back from beatings before but they’ve never been like this.

The Undertaker knows what it’s like to be a victim, but no one can ask him because no one has seen or heard from him since Wrestlemania. Cena is looking to survive, but Brock is looking to conquer. Brock doesn’t just want to F5 and pin John Cena. He wants to victimize him ruthlessly and mercilessly. Lesnar can’t wait for Cena to no longer be WWE Champion and be nothing more than beaten, victimized and conquered.

Cena wants to have a real talk for just a few seconds. Paul said the word passion and that’s a word that even he can understand. Every once in awhile, you can hear something start and then hear it grow louder and louder. It’s the fans chanting ECW and it brings a smile to Heyman’s face. Cena and Heyman share a passion about this business because it’s Cena’s life. Good, bad or indifferent, he shows up and fights because he loves it. Brock can beat him but he’s going to have to beat every breath out of his body because Cena is walking in champion and walking out.

This brings out Cesaro who says he may no longer be a Paul Heyman Guy, he won’t allow Cena to insult Paul like this. Cena isn’t a wrestler. He’s a muscled up walking billboard. Cena gets on the floor and Cesaro insults his shoes. Not only can Cena not wrestle in sneakers, but he can’t wrestle period. We get a challenge for a match and Cena is ready. The promos here were really good as you would expect from two masters like these guys.

Cesaro vs. John Cena

Non-title of course and joined in progress after a break. They fight over a test of strength to start until Cena takes him down into a headlock. Cesaro reverses into one of his own before catching Cena in a gutwrench suplex. Cena gets stomped down in the corner but comes back with a hurricanrana for two. His comeback is short lived though as he charges into an elbow, allowing Cesaro to hammer away. Some forearms put Cena on the floor but he comes back in and starts a brawl, only to have his bulldog shoved off.

Back from a break with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the shoulder blocks. Cesaro counters what looked like a backdrop into a DDT for two and Cena is down again. We get some very loud spot calling before the Swing is countered into a sunset flip for two. A powerbomb gets the same on Cesaro but he’s able to hit the apron suplex for two of his own. Cena tries a tornado DDT but gets countered into the Swing (so much for the reports of him being asked to stop).

Something resembling an ankle lock but with Cena’s legs intertwined has John in trouble but he rolls out and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered and Cesaro goes up, only to have Cena roll through a cross body into the AA. Cesaro lands on his feet and kicks Cena in the face, setting up Swiss Death for two. Now the Neutralizer is countered but they trade big boots to send Cesaro to the apron. He takes too long going up though and a top rope AA is good for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. If you give Cesaro a big stage to have this match on and a better chance of winning, this is a near masterpiece. They have great chemistry together and Cesaro is one of the few guys that can show some freakish streak when he’s given the chance. I’d like to see him actually win a big match now and then though.

Stephanie is in the back freaking out about having to apologize to Brie tonight. She can’t bear the look in their daughters’ eyes again when they look at her. HHH says it’s going to be fine but Orton comes in to interrupt. Randy says the original plan was supposed to be Cena vs. Orton at Summerslam but Reigns broke it up. He wants HHH to break up the main event but HHH says no. If Orton wants another shot, take out Roman Reigns. Tonight, Reigns is facing Kane, so now Orton has a problem with Kane. He says he has a problem with HHH too.

Here’s the skipping Paige with something to say. She says her emotions get the better of her sometimes but she still thinks of AJ as her best friend. However, AJ took her title and crossed a line. Paige will never act that way again. Cue AJ who says she doesn’t like people who lie to her.

If Paige wants to be like her, then do it and stop making this stuff up. Paige cuts her off and talks about AJ being crazy, and that’s not ok with the champ. She tells Paige to say that again but Paige says this kind of stuff happens to everyone, even people off their rockers. AJ smacks Paige and the brawl is on with Paige running off and screaming that AJ needs to calm down.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to apologize about what happened last week. We see the full incident with Brie Bella and Stephanie says she’s truly sorry. All the charges have been dropped and they’re going to move on from this unfortunate incident. Stephanie would like Brie to come down here and clear the air. Instead here’s Jericho, who sings the COPS theme song (which might be a reference to the joke about COPS reruns replacing Impact).

HHH growls at him but Jericho cuts him off and brings up HHH not coming to Stephanie’s aide until Raw had been over for fifteen minutes. Jericho says it’s because HHH is finally realizing that Stephanie is a filthy, dirty, bottom feeding trashbag ho. HHH yells but Jericho asks for Bray Wyatt tonight. That match is being saved until Summerslam, but as for tonight…..and HHH is cut off by Seth Rollins nailing Jericho in the head with the MITB briefcase. I still think they missed a HUGE story by never having Stephanie and Jericho fall for each other.

We recap the Heyman/Cena/Cesaro stuff.

Ad for Summerslam 1998 airing this Sunday night on the WWE Network. I don’t know why they’re doing this when you can watch it right this second on demand on the Network.

Usos/Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Miz is in his sunglasses. Woods, Kofi and Big E. are all watching in the back. Dolph gets knocked down by Ryback for two early on. Everything breaks down for a bit and the Usos chase all three guys to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz coming in to kick Jimmy in the ribs as Woods and company have come to ringside. Axel gets two off a running knee to the head and it’s back to Miz to work on the ribs.

The Reality Check is countered into a suplex but Jimmy still can’t make the tag. He finally kicks Miz away and the tag brings in Ziggler to dropkick Ryback. The Fameasser gets two and Miz makes a very last second save. Everything breaks down and Jey dives onto Axel. Jimmy charges into a neck snap across the top rope to take him to the floor. Miz distracts Ziggler but Dolph counters a Ryback powerbomb into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C. Just an easy way to combine a few matches here and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m glad Miz didn’t get pinned again, but I’m not sure why the new Nation is at ringside. Miz continues to play his role well and I’m digging the new character. Then again I’ve always been a Miz fan.

R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas

Bo says that Truth has lost a lot but will win again if he Bolieves. Dallas does his usual stuff and hits a clothesline before running a victory lap. Back in and Truth rolls him up for the pin at 32 seconds for Bo’s first loss.

Post match Bo says he can’t Bolieve that and nails Truth. The beating stays on

Here are Lana and Rusev to do their thing, this time with a focus on the American flag. Lana is about to insult George W. Bush (from Texas) but here’s Colter to interrupt. He talks about the American flag meaning something everywhere in the world. Colter brings up the Stars and Stripes and the symbolism behind them before Rusev and Swagger have their usual fight with Rusev being run off. The fans give a LOUD USA chant.

Damien Sandow vs. Adam Rose

Sandow is an astronaut this week. He gets cut off by Rose and pinned in 36 seconds with the Party Foul. Nothing to see here.

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is on the way to the ring but Orton jumps him in the crowd. Reigns takes over and heads into the ring for a Superman Punch to Orton, but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Orton hammers away with free shots on Reigns. He nails an Elevated DDT on the floor and rams Reigns’ head into the steps over and over. An RKO onto the announcers’ table (didn’t break) has Reigns down and a second RKO through the table knocks him senseless. The bell never rang so no match.

Back from a break and Reigns is still trying to get up.

Fandango vs. Diego

Diego has Layla and Summer as sexy bullfighters this week. Fandango hammers away and goes up for the legdrop but Torito gets up on the apron for a distraction. The dancer goes after him but the bull dives onto the girls’ shoulders. Diego hits a springboard spinning sunset flip for the pin at 1:30.

Stephanie tries to find Brie in the Divas locker room but gets Nikki instead. Brie is going to be here later and Stephanie hopes things will be reasonable. Nikki laughs at the idea.

The Dusts are at a chalkboard and trying to figure out what the Cosmic Key is. Goldust says calm down and points Stardust off into the distance. He writes THEY HAVE “IT” in for the answer to the question. No idea what that means.

Alicia Fox/Cameron vs. Natalya/Naomi

Natalya and Fox get things going with the blonde nailing a seated dropkick for an early two. Naomi dives at Cameron for a brawl but Fox nails an ax kick for two. Fox hammers on her for a bit before it’s back to Cameron, who is caught in a freaky looking body scissors for the submission at 2:33. This was nothing.

Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins

They quickly fight to the floor with Jericho getting in trouble, only to block a suicide dive with a right hand. Back in and a suplex gets two on Seth but he stomps on Chris in the corner. Jericho jumps over him and nails an enziguri for two on Rollins, only to have Seth dropkick him down. Jericho snaps his neck over the ropes and we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but being sent shoulder first into the post. Seth talks trash about him but Chris fights back and nails a top rope ax handle for two. A Slingblade gets two on Jericho and Rollins goes up, only to have to block some superplex attempts.

Rollins tries a powerbomb but gets countered into a top rope backdrop followed by a high cross body for two. Rollins gets elbowed in the face but avoids the Lionsault and nails a buckle bomb. The Curb Stomp misses but Rollins gets to the ropes to escape the Walls. Rollins goes up but gets caught in a Codebreaker….and we’ve got Wyatts for the DQ at 13:20.

Rating: C+. Another good match from these two but the ending was somewhat obvious. They need to make the Wyatts look tough again though and beating up Jericho is a good way to start. However, without a huge win at Summerslam it doesn’t really matter. Bray can still be saved though.

Here’s Stephanie for the big showdown with Brie to end the show. She looks at the clip from last week and apologizes to Brie again. Brie comes from the crowd to the ring and says she wants some revenge. Stephanie offers to give Nikki a raise but Brie wants her job back. The boss isn’t sure but Brie offers to drop all of the charges. Stephanie agrees but Brie wants something else: a match at Summerslam.

That’s fine with Stephanie who offers her a Divas Title shot or a Total Divas Spectacular. Brie says the obvious: she wants a match with Stephanie. The boss freaks out and says she isn’t a wrestler anymore (too easy) before finally saying she won’t lower herself to do this. Brie says she’ll see Stephanie in court. Stephanie finally breaks down and agrees before slapping Brie off the apron. The brawl is on but HHH and agents break it up. Fans: “THIS IS AWFUL!” I’m fine with the match taking place, but there is NO reason this should have closed the show.

Overall Rating: D. Other than the two long matches, this felt like a long series of short vignettes with very little going on. I don’t get the idea of Dallas losing in a meaningless match but it might be better to get it out of the way rather than letting him get crushed later on. The rest of the show felt pretty worthless, with one thing really glaring.

This show opened with a pretty awesome promo from Cena and a good match, but ended with a segment involving Brie Bella and Stephanie McMahon. I’m fine with Stephanie and Brie having a match at Summerslam, but it REALLY shouldn’t be a feature. Unless Bryan is in Brie’s corner, this really does feel like the most useless match I’ve seen built up in a very long time.

Results
John Cena b. Cesaro – Top rope Attitude Adjustment
Dolph Ziggler/Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel/The Miz – Zig Zag to Ryback
R-Truth b. Bo Dallas – Rollup
Adam Rose b. Damien Sandow – Party Foul
Diego b. Fandango – Spinning sunset flip
Natalya/Naomi b. Alicia Fox/Cameron – Leg scissors to Cameron
Chris Jericho b. Seth Rollins via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: July 25, 2014

Battleground is over and we can head to Summerslam like a lot of people want to. Even though the big surprise for Monday’s Raw was the worst kept secret in about forever, it’s still a cool feeling when you know something huge is coming and you just have to wait for the big reveal. Let’s get to it.

HHH opened the show and talked about the Authority not getting the title back last night. He then went on a hilarious rant against internet fans, saying he was so mad that he might have to Tweet until his fingers bled or, Heaven help him, SEND OUT AN INSTAGRAM! I cracked up at that line because of the voice and the way he delivered it.

Anyway the point of this was that HHH isn’t sure who is going to face Cena at Summerslam but everyone in the back is going to have the chance to prove their worth to him. This brings out Orton, who HHH says is the frontrunner for a title shot. Kane comes out and says he’s the best option. Roman Reigns appears and says no one wants to see Kane vs. Cena and NO ONE wants to see Cena vs. Orton again. Kane gets laid out with a Superman Punch and HHH makes Reigns vs. Kane/Orton right now.

The handicap match was fine with Reigns pinning Kane after a spear. It’s a bit of a stretch but the team got in an argument at the end and Reigns capitalized. They kept it moving as well so it never got beyond the suspension of disbelief. Reigns pinning a former World Champion is a good thing for him.

Now we get to the other big story of the night. Stephanie McMahon gave Nikki Bella a four on one handicap match but noticed Brie Bella in the front row. She wanted Brie ejected but Brie had a ticket. They yelled at each other a lot and Stephanie slapped her, which somehow got Brie dragged off. Nikki was of course destroyed in the four on one handicap. Stephanie said that Nikki was going to quit soon, which seems to be her big plan.

Later in the night, Stephanie was arrested for battery and taken away in handcuffs. HHH promised he would get Stephanie out of jail in five minutes (and for some reason asked the cops if they were driving a hybrid), but instead stayed at the arena to make his announcement on the main event. We haven’t yet heard any backlash against HHH for not being there for his wife but you can imagine the sort of thing you’re going to hear.

The Bella vs. Stephanie segments were entertaining for the most part as Brie is actually a decent actress. Stephanie is perfect in her role and the story is acceptable enough. The problem is without Bryan, a lot of the interest goes down. I’d assume he’d be in Brie’s corner when we get the match at Summerslam though. One last note: I’m not sure if it’s the hair color or the more natural look, but Brie comes off as much more beautiful than Nikki. She did on Total Divas and she did again on Raw.

Bo Dallas beat Damien Sandow. It seemed like Bo had turned face here but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Jericho was going to do the Highlight Reel but the Wyatts laid him out in the back. Apparently this was filmed at Battleground because Jericho wasn’t at the arena. That’s a basic idea and a trick that worked fine. Bray did his usual schtick about war and Abigail. He really needs to be a monster again.

Dolph beat The Miz because Miz is the Intercontinental Champion and therefore he must be defeated any time he wrestles. It’s life in the WWE.

Seth Rollins was told he shouldn’t face Cena at Summerslam. Cesaro came in and confirmed that he was no longer a Payl Heyman guy and asked to be put in the title match. HHH said Cesaro can get in if he beats Dean Ambrose tonight. Cesaro as a mercenary is an interesting idea.

AJ Lee and Paige beat Emma and Natalya. Post match Paige turned heel and beat up AJ before skipping away. Paige with a big smile and skipping away is rather appealing to look atl.

Zack Ryder beat Fandango with help from the girls. Let this one sink in for a bit. I’m not sure what the endgame is here but Layla and Summer dancing is never a bad thing.

Flo Rida knocked Heath Slater down, just like he did at Wrestlemania a few years back. He then performed a medley of songs and no one cared. I have no idea why WWE thinks this is a good use of TV time.

Kofi Kingston/Big E. lost to Ryback/Curtis Axel in a nothing match. The interesting thing here though was Xavier Woods coming out and saying that these two deserve better. It sounded a lot like the start of a new Nation type stable, but heel turns were only implied. Granted something like this almost naturally turns you heel as face stables rarely last long term. Kofi and Big E. getting something to do is a good thing though and Woods has the credentials to pull off the intellectual leader.

Rusev beat Great Khali in a better match than you would have expected. Same stuff here though.

The Dusts, Cosmic Key.

Cesaro and Ambrose had a nice brawl that ended with Ambrose hitting Cesaro with a chair. Dean caring more about violence and hurting Cesaro fits him fine as all that matters is Rollins right now.

The big ending to the show was of course HHH coming out to reveal the opponent and Reigns taking out Orton. HHH was left alone until Paul Heyman came out with Lesnar. HHH agreed that Lesnar gets the shot and Heyman talked for a good while about how awesome Brock was and how he’ll conquer John Cena at Summerslam. Good promo, even though we knew he was coming about a month ago.

Raw was good for the most part but again could have used an hour being cut out. Lesnar being spoiled hurt it a bit as the Orton and Kane stuff was just a big waste of time. To be fair though, WWE had put out a lot of stuff from Heyman so they acknowledged the spoilers and took away some of the shock intentionally.

You can see the top of Summerslam’s card already and a lot of it looks solid enough. We’ll have Brock destroying Cena, Reigns vs. Orton, Rollins vs. Ambrose and probably Brie vs. Stephanie. That’s not a bad card for a huge show and things should be entertaining enough. Raw was good enough this week but it was little more than setting the stage for the upcoming shows.

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Monday Night Raw – July 21, 2014: Send In The Beast

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2014
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Battleground and officially heading towards Summerslam. The show is in less than four weeks and the main event, while pretty obvious, has the potential to be awesome. Tonight we’re likely finding out what HHH’s Plan C is and who will be challenging Cena at Summerslam. Other than that Flo Rida is performing tonight for reasons that aren’t exactly clear. Let’s get to it.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He talks about how no one wants to look him in the eye because they think he’ll blow a gasket over the Authority losing last night. HHH goes off, saying he hasn’t been this mad in a long time but he has options. He says he’s going to Tweet about how upset he is. He’s so mad he might even send an Instagram or a VINE. If he doesn’t get what he wants, hes’ going to riot. And if THAT doesn’t work, he and his friend Mark are going to stop watching. Or another option is to fire everyone backstage.

HHH calms down and says he could lay back because he has options. He even guarantees that Cena won’t leave Summerslam as WWE Champion. The only question is who gets to take it from him. This brings out Randy Orton who wants a one on one match with Cena. HHH says Orton is the frontrunner, but the entire roster is going to get a chance to impress him. Randy blames Kane and here’s the monster himself. Kane says he can beat Cena if he doesn’t have to babysit Randy Orton.

Cue Roman Reigns who says no one wants to see Cena vs. Kane, and for sure no one wants to see Cena vs. Orton AGAIN. It sounds to him like everyone wants to see Roman Reigns vs. John Cena. Reigns gets in and lays out Kane with a Superman Punch but Orton bails to the floor. HHH makes Kane/Orton vs. Roman Reigns right now.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Kane

Randy starts for his team and gets popped in the jaw with a right hand. Kane comes in and walks into a Samoan drop so it’s back to Randy. Reigns finally gets slowed down with a knee to the ribs and the heels start making fast tags. Roman quickly fights out of a nerve hold and raises a boot to stop a charging Kane. The monster gets sent to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock but getting stomped down to the mat. Kane comes in again with an elbow to the jaw for two and it’s back to Orton for another chinlock. Reigns fights up again with another Samoan drop before knocking Kane into the ropes for the running boot. Kane clotheslines Reigns down but Orton won’t tag in. Orton gets grabbed by the throat but Reigns uses the distraction to hit the Superman Punch and the spear for the pin on Kane at 12:18.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but a handicap match where the ending is pretty obvious doesn’t help much. Reigns getting the win is a good thing for his career, though I’m thinking he needs to swap his finishers or just use the Superman Punch. The spear is good for a middle of the match move but it doesn’t work as well as a finisher.

Orton teases getting in the ring but backs down from Reigns.

Stephanie gives Alicia Fox/Eva Marie/Cameron/Rosa Mendes a pep talk before their four on one handicap match against Nikki Bella.

Alicia Fox/Cameron/Rosa Mendes/Eva Marie vs. Nikki Bella

Brie is in the front row so here’s Stephanie to say everything that is happening to Nikki because Brie is a quitter. Brie calls Stephanie a very mean name and holds up her ticket. They yell at each other some more and Stephanie slaps Brie again before Brie gets dragged out. The bell rings and Nikki is of course destroyed. Alicia calls off the dogs before pinning Nikki in 32 seconds.

Stephanie says Nikki is going to quit soon.

Damien Sandow vs. Bo Dallas

This week Sandow is in a Miami Heat jersey with the word Miami crossed off and Cleveland written below it. Damien starts fast but Bo fights back wit a backdrop and clothesline to send Sandow outside. Back in and Bo hammers away with right hands. Bo is wrestling more like a face this week. Sandow knees him in the ribs and nails a suplex before putting on a chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow misses and a Bodog keeps Bo undefeated at 2:30.

Back from a break with the Highlight Reel but Bray and the Family have laid out Jericho in the locker room. Bray shows us a clip of the attack and him telling Jericho that sooner or later, they all fall down. In the arena, Bray says Jericho isn’t here but Bray Wyatt is. The fans may think that Chris Jericho is a better man than he is, but a loss in a battle means nothing to him.

The war is all that counts and he was the man that created war. It hasn’t been long since the Wyatts brought heroes to their knees. You cannot measure him like a normal man because society does not make him and he lives a hundred years a day. Abigail told him to never chase vengeance or he would have to dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself.

Jericho is in the back and bleeding from the ear.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Miz runs to the floor to start and Ziggler finally chases after him, only to fail at sending Miz into the steps. Back in and Miz stomps away but Ziggler takes him down and drops nine straight elbows. Miz trips Dolph up and puts on a chinlock before Miz catapults him over the top. Ziggler skins the cat and pulls Miz to the apron with him, only to be sent into the post as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler grabbing his arms but still not being able to nail a right hand to the face. Miz stomps on him even more and we hit the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and sends him into the buckle, followed by clotheslines and a neckbreaker. The Fameasser is countered into a rollup for two and a Side Effect gets the same for Miz.

Ziggler kicks him in the jaw and grabs a running DDT for two more. Miz’s short DDT gets two and it’s time to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on but Ziggler finally dives for the ropes. Back up and a Fameasser gets another near fall on Miz but Ziggler can’t hit the Fameasser. Miz loads up the Skull Crushing Finale, only to get rolled through into the Zig Zag for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: C+. Now didn’t we all see this coming? I mean, I know the joke is that the Intercontinental Title is a death sentence, and now it’s looking more and more truthful every time the champion fights. Ziggler will lose the title match and then people will see Miz about the same as they do now. In other words, everyone loses.

HHH is telling Seth Rollins that there’s no reason for him to face John Cena at Summerslam because he’s got a title shot whenever he wants it. Rollins says there’s no way this can happen because Dean Ambrose keeps interfering. Cesaro comes in and says he’s no longer a Heyman Guy. Instead he’d rather be HHH’s guy. Rollins says HHH already has a guy, but Cesaro says he’d be a great choice to face Cena at Summerslam. HHH says it would be very impressive if Cesaro could beat Dean Ambrose tonight.

Emma/Natalya vs. AJ Lee/Paige

Emma trips AJ down to start and they trade rollups for two each. Paige comes in and walks into the Emma Lock before it’s off to Natalya for two off a rollup. Natalya puts on the Sharpshooter but Paige crawls over for the tag to AJ. A Shining Wizard and the Black Widow make Natalya tap at 2:25.

Post match Paige turns full heel and destroys AJ, including throwing her over the announcers’ table. Paige skips away.

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder comes out with Summer Rae and Layla this time. Ryder hammers away to start but Fandango nails him with a dropkick. Fandango takes him down but gets caught in a faceplant. Ryder’s middle rope dropkick misses but Fandango doesn’t follow up. Ryder comes back with a Rough Ryder for the pin at 1:47. Layla shoved Fandango’s foot off the rope to give Ryder the win.

We recap Brie and Stephanie from earlier.

Flo Rida thinks he might get the title shot against John Cena. Heath Slater comes up and wants revenge from Flo Rida attacking him at Wrestlemania XXVIII. Slater shoves him and is shoved down to the ground.

Flo Rida performs. Stephanie was in the ring to introduce him and is arrested after the performance for attacking Brie earlier. Brie pops up and yells at her before being dragged off again. Stephanie is taken to the back and HHH tries to calm her down as Stephanie is put in the police car. HHH: “Is this a hybrid?” He promises to have her out of jail in five minutes.

Back from a break and HHH is about to leave but a guy (maybe Joey Mercury) says HHH has to decide on Cena’s opponent. HHH says family is more important but realizes that it’s going to take awhile to process Stephanie. He keeps the car on standby.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.

Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.

Rating: C-. This was mostly Big E. vs. Ryback foa few minutes before the ending came out of nowhere. Big E.’s collapse continues and it’s really kind of sad to see. Kingston only got to jump a few times and it wasn’t much to see. At least they’re building up another team to fight the Usos.

Big E. and Kofi are upset post match but Xavier Woods, now in glasses and a white suit, comes in and says they’re not getting anywhere by shaking hands and kissing babies. Instead of asking, now they’re going to be taking. Kofi and Big E. seem to agree. That was a very heelish promo from Woods.

We look back at the Wyatts attacking Jericho earlier.

Rusev vs. Great Khali

Rusev is still selling the ankle lock from last night. The big chop stuns Rusev and a big boot stops his charge. More chops in the corner have Rusev breathing deep but he nails Khali in the throat. The big chop puts Rusev down but he pops up and kicks Khali in the shoulder. A running superkick to the face sets up the Accolade for the submission at 2:27.

Clip of Sheamus on Royal Pains this week.

Stardust and Goldust talk about the Cosmic Key some more. It’s calling them.

We recap Brie and Stephanie again. Renee Young reports that Stephanie is going to be arraigned tonight and may be charged with resisting arrest.

Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro

Ambrose hammers away to start and takes Cesaro to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and Cesaro kicks him in the face before sending Ambrose shoulder first into the post. HHH is on the phone in the back while Orton and Rollins watch on. Cesaro cranks on the arm and the match slows down a lot. Back up and Cesaro nails him with a right hand, only to be sent to the floor. Ambrose tries a dive but lands on an uppercut as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro still on the arm before getting two off a German suplex. Cesaro’s superplex is countered and Ambrose nails a missile dropkick followed by a cross body. Ambrose suplex is countered but he sends Cesaro into the corner to escape a cross face chicken wing.

Cesaro heads outside but gets wiped out with a suicide dive. Back in and the rebound clothesline gets two on Cesaro but he comes back with a clothesline of his own. Dean gets a boot up in the corner but goes up and gets crotched into the Tree of Woe. Cesaro charges into the post twice in a row and Ambrose throws him in a third time. With the insanity setting in, Dean grabs a chair and blasts Cesaro in the arm for the DQ at 12:32.

Rating: C. The match was fun and the ending was the right call. Cesaro seems ready for a push and the split from Heyman is the right way to go about it, but a loss would hurt him right out of the gate. Ambrose going crazy and wanting to hurt Cesaro rather than pin him fits the character well. Everyone comes out in a good place here.

Renee asks HHH if he should be with his wife right now and gets glared at.

HHH is in the ring and brings out Orton as the challenger, but Reigns intercepts Orton on the way to the ring and brawls with him into the crowd. This brings out Paul Heyman who says HHH needs to consider Plan C. Cue Lesnar and HHH isn’t sure what to do. Brock stares him down and HHH shakes his hand. The boss leaves and Heyman gets to do his greasy promo about how Lesnar conquered the Streak. Now it’s time for Lesnar to conquer John Cena and take the WWE Championship at Summerslam.

Heyman says it doesn’t matter if you chant LET’S GO CENA or CENA SUCKS because Brock Lesnar is going to destroy Cena one way or another. We get a clip from Wrestlemania where the Streak was conquered and Paul talks about how that same beating is awaiting John Cena. Lesnar is going to punch, hurt, injure and F5 John Cena before taking the WWE Championship from him. He pledges loyalty to Brock Lesnar and promises Brock will take the title from Cena at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This show tried to start up some new stuff, but at the same time it had a lot of moments that felt really slow. It’s the first stop on the road to Summerslam so there’s a lot to go in the coming weeks, but this was only a decent start. To be fair though, the ending was as obvious as it could possibly have been so it’s hard to complain much about it not being awesome.

Results
Roman Reigns b. Kane/Randy Orton – Spear to Reigns
Alicia Fox/Cameron/Rosa Mendes/Eva Marie b. Nikki Bella – Fox pinned Nikki after all four attacked her
Bo Dallas b. Damien Sandow – Bodog
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
AJ Lee/Paige b. Natalya/Emma – Black Widow to Natalya
Zack Ryder b. Fandango – Rough Ryder
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Big E./Kofi Kingston – Ryback rolled through a high cross body
Rusev b. Great Khali – Accolade
Cesaro b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

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