Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns
And then there’s this.
This is one of those matches where there are so many different ways it could go that it makes me want to see it. I’m not entirely sure that’s how they meant to get there, but it makes me want to see the main event more than I did otherwise. I’m not even sure where to start with this one.
So Reigns won the Rumble after everyone knew he would for like a year, then beat Bryan to defend his title shot at Fast Lane. Much like HHH vs. Sting, it all started coming off the rails after that because they had no idea where to go with it after that. They’ve tried things like Roman wanting to be the monster that slays the bigger monster or Reigns living up to his family’s history of being all dominant and such, but it seems like they really don’t know where they’re going.
That of course leaves the problem of people not caring about Roman Reigns. They’ve done a horrible job at making him a guy that we’re going to connect with because he doesn’t have much of a personality. Look back at the two stories they’ve tried. Not many people are going to be able to connect with the idea of being a Superman who can beat up anyone in the world and is going off to fight the big dragon. At the same time, most of them can’t connect with the idea of being part of a legendary family with a huge reputation to live up to.
On the other hand, there’s a major risk of having Reigns booed out of the stadium because Brock Lesnar is the easiest guy in the world to cheer for because fans like seeing Brock destroy people like Godzilla crushing buildings in the abandoned warehouse district of Tokyo. He’s a guy people are ready to cheer for (because they can forgive the Streak being broken that quickly) but instead we’re supposed to cheer for Reigns because of…..hey isn’t that Reverend Slick over there?
They just haven’t done a good job of setting this match up because there’s no reason to want to see the showdown. Reigns is pretty much the same guy he was a year ago but now he has the stupid promos on his resume. He’s been SO much better when he’s the Batista type who lets his fighting do the talking and spears people in half after punching them in the face. But instead, for some reason WWE decides that he needs to be a guy with a personality because that’s how WWE thinks people are supposed to be.
You know who works as a powerhouse who doesn’t say much and shows off with his physical abilities? Brock Lesnar. He’s actually a really good standard for someone who doesn’t need to do much talking and can be a huge success by just letting his power and dominance do all the talking he needs. Let Reigns be something like a Batista instead of trying to make him the new John Cena.
I don’t even see why Reigns needs to win the title at Wrestlemania. Why does Reigns, age 29, NEED to get his first World Title here? Most wrestlers don’t win their first title at Wrestlemania and they wind up being fine. Let him win it somewhere else first and then come back and get his really big win later on? Why have him win here and throw him out in deep water? It’s like asking him to win a gold medal in the Olympics and not even giving him a broken freaking neck. It doesn’t work that way.
All these issues aside, it seems very obvious that it’s going to be Reigns taking the title from Lesnar because the story seems to be that Cena couldn’t do it so let’s get someone even bigger and stronger to take the title from Lesnar. That’s a pretty lame story to tell because it’s just going and getting the next guy up instead of finding someone we might be interested in seeing.
Then Lesnar re-signed and everything changed.
That signing turned this match on its head and made it a completely different story. The idea was that Lesnar was going to lose the title because he might have been on his way out of the promotion to MMA so Reigns had to be the guy to take it from him. However, now that he’s staying and there’s a chance Bryan and Cena will be winning the midcard titles to headline the house shows, why not leave the belt on Brock?
There are a million ways to go with Lesnar if he sticks around as champion, including turning him face. Like, for instance, Reigns sees that he can’t win the title on his own and needs some help. Maybe two guys in black? One of whom says Reigns is his brother? Or you have him fight the Authority and finally clear them out. There are a million options.
Then there’s one more option: the cash-in. I’ll keep this short: if Lesnar retains, I think there’s a cash-in tomorrow on Raw. Otherwise, nothing.
So for the official prediction, I’ll take Lesnar retaining because he’s sticking around. At the end of the day, I think WWE is going to throw the brakes on at the last minute and let Reigns lose here to build him up again for later. I know Vince wants to pull the trigger on him, but hopefully HHH can talk him out of the itchy trigger finger for now. No cash-in at Wrestlemania if Lesnar retains.
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Monday Night Raw – April 7, 2014 (2015 Redo): How To Do This Right
Monday Night Raw Date: April 7, 2014
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
I figured I’d throw this one in as a bonus, plus I kind of wanted to watch this show again. This is of course the big fallout show from Wrestlemania, which is usually a huge mix of storytelling, debuts, turns and an INSANE crowd that will take over the show. These things can be all over the place and it’s always fun to see where things go. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Daniel Bryan Monster video from last night. That’s still awesome stuff. This one includes him posing with the belts after the main event last night to really cap it off.
Here’s Daniel Bryan, because what else could have opened the show? I can forgive his magically healed shoulder here. The fans go insane of course and even JBL admits that he’s wrong. They won’t let him talk with the DANIEL BRYAN chants. “You guys never get tired do you?” He doesn’t think the fans know how hard it is to do the YES chant with two titles.
The fans try it without two titles and Bryan leads them one more time before his shoulders start hurting. Bryan talks about how the fans are united under behind one word, but the fans cut him off with a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Bryan: “I might deserve it a little bit, but I think you guys deserve it.” He thanks the fans for being behind him and it’s YES time again but here are HHH and Stephanie.
They stand on the apron because HHH doesn’t want to get in the ring and do something he’ll regret. Bryan takes the title off his waist, gets right in HHH’s face, and does the YES pose for a funny spot. HHH says this ends tonight because this is his show. Therefore, he’s booked himself into a title shot against Bryan tonight and the YES movement ends. This was the only way to start the show and Bryan vs. HHH is a fine main event, especially given that you know it’s a big angle.
A graphic of Lesnar standing over Undertaker with the caption “streak conquered” got the loudest heat of the night.
Batista comes in to yell at HHH but the boss says Batista was the one tapping. Orton comes in and says he should get the title match tonight because he has a rematch clause. HHH says he’s the COO so they get rematches at a later date because tonight he’s taking care of Bryan. That’s not cool with them so Stephanie gives them a Tag Team Title shot. HHH says historically, the three of them are unstoppable when they’re on the same page. That’s called planting a seed.
Wyatt Family vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Big E.
Oh here we go. The fans are WAY into the Wyatts but debut singing “John Cena Sucks” to the tune of his theme song. I really wish that one had caught on as it’s just glorious. The good guys charge the ring and the brawl is on with Cena eventually starting against Bray. The fans are almost universally behind Bray here as the nutty crowd is starting fast. Cena’s right hands are booed out of the building and Sheamus comes in with a slingshot shoulder.
Off to Rowan for a slugout and he just shoves a punching Sheamus out of the corner. Big E. comes in for a running shoulder to the ribs before lifting Rowan up for three straight backbreakers, finally winning some respect from the fans. “THAT WAS GOOD!” Harper comes in, accidentally knocks Rowan off the apron, and runs into a shoulder from Big E. It’s back to Cena as the fans get annoyed again but Harper slams him down.
We take a break and come back with Harper holding Cena in a headlock and earning a LET’S GO HARPER chant. Cena loads up an AA but eats a DDT for two instead. Back to Rowan as the fans start singing. Bray comes in again for some frenzied stomping but Cena hits that running clothesline to get a breather. Now the fans sing that Cena sucks but a release Rock Bottom makes them cheer Bray instead.
Cena finally throws Harper down and makes the hot tag to Sheamus to clean house. A top rope double shoulder puts the Family down and Sheamus mocks Bray’s pose. Rowan decks Sheamus with a clothesline (POP) and it’s off to Big E. vs. Wyatt. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but the Family comes back in to clean house, setting up a suicide dive to take out Sheamus. The spider walk (“WYATT’S GONNA KILL YOU!”) sets up Sister Abigail’s Kiss to pin Big E and end the madness.
Rating: C. The match was fine but you know this is all about the crowd. The post Wrestlemania crowd is more of an attraction than the wrestling itself a lot of the time and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for Sheamus taking the pin instead of the Intercontinental Champion, but this is one of those shows where it really doesn’t matter that much.
Slam City ad.
We get a video of people doing a bunch of outdoor sports with the word impossible. It really says I’m Possible though, and you can be too, if you just BOLIEVE.
Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Santino Marella/Emma
Summer is looking especially fetching tonight. Emma was just so wasted with Santino. The guys start with a dance off but Santino quickly loads up the Cobra, meaning it’s off to the girls. Emma grabs a quick Dilemma followed by the Emma Sandwich before the Emma Lock gets a very fast submission. This was just filler.
Here are Heyman and Lesnar for the mother of all victory laps. Brock shows off his EAT SLEEP BREAK THE STREAK shirt. Heyman says it’s his privilege to represent the conqueror of the Streak. It lasted nearly a quarter of a century but Brock ended it in three seconds. The fans’ shock shows their lack of intelligence, because THEY TOLD YOU SO. Heyman reads the shirt because we’re too stupid to do it ourselves.
Brock isn’t here to put smiles o your face, but rather to shock the WWE Universe and put tears in the eyes of children. Heyman is on fire tonight. Let’s go off page a bit and shoot from the hip shall we? Five seconds after walking through the curtains at Wrestlemania, Undertaker collapsed and was taken to the hospital with Vince himself riding with him. The greatest thing Undertaker ever did was stay down after the third F5 because he would have had a broken neck and a cracked skull. Brock’s evil smile here is glorious.
Here’s what amazes Heyman: “After the match, John Bradshaw Layfield and those two other things that call themselves announcers” applauded the Undertaker, along with 80,000 other people in the Superdome (“Not Silverdome Hogan”). So why weren’t people cheering for the winner? The fans should all feel empowered because they’re all wannabes, just like the rest of that locker room. Everyone was looking down when Lesnar came through the curtain last night because Brock doesn’t respect anyone. “HE BARELY LIKES ME!”
There are a lot of people back there who say they could have fought in an octagon, but Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Undertaker never did that, because they’re all wannabes. A lot of people wanted to be the NCAA Heavyweight Champion, UFC Heavyweight Champion and WWE World Heavyweight Champion, but Rock, Hogan and Austin didn’t do it because they’re all wannabes. And now, for the line of the year. “Last night a lot of people were coming up to me and saying they could have broken the Streak. So why didn’t you?”
We get the debut of “Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1” and Heyman makes sure to say it even slower for the WHAT crowd. There are Hall of Famers, there are legends, there are superstars, but those are all plural. Then there is only one Brock Lesnar. If you don’t understand why this was absolutely amazing, I don’t know what to tell you.
Adam Rose is coming. That should have opened house shows for years but why not just turn him heel and completely miss the point of the character? Or we could have a bunny upstage him.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Randy Orton/Batista
Usos are defending of course. Jimmy slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. The fans of course reminds Dave that he tapped out. Jey tags himself in to punch Orton in the face as the fans want Y2J and then CM Punk. Jey gets beaten down in the corner and both champions are sent outside. The fans switch to JBL as Orton DDT’s Jey off the barricade for the double countout. I’m really glad they didn’t change the belts here because it would have been such a stupid move.
A SICK powerbomb onto the steps crushes Jimmy.
Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow
This is Van Dam’s latest return and you know he’s getting a great reaction. Sandow is quickly sent to the floor but he pulls Rob’s leg out and drives some knees into the chest. The Wind-Up elbow connects and YOU’RE WELCOME for that. It’s amazing how completely different Sandow has become in just a year. Some kicks put Sandow on the floor and the spinning kick from the apron knocks him silly. Back in and Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the pin. Just a “welcome back” match.
Rey Mysterio vs. Bad News Barrett
This is Barrett’s return as well and I believe his first match as Bad News. The fans are entirely behind Barrett and did you really expect anything else? Rey hammers away during the catchphrase and becomes the littlest heel on the roster. He quickly sends Barrett to the floor for a sliding splash but takes a hard kick to the ribs back inside. Barrett pounds away at the back and gets two off Winds of Change. He hits a running knee to the ribs, only to have his superplex broken up. A top rope seated senton gets two for Rey and the 619 connects, but he gets crotched on top and Bull Hammered for the pin.
Rating: D+. Another nothing match here but the wrestling isn’t the point on a show like this. It’s good to see Barrett back from his nine millionth injury and Mysterio is expendable for something like this. Unless I’m mistaken, this was Mysterio’s last match with the company before he finally got to go back to Mexico.
Video on Rusev, who debuts next.
Alexander Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
Rusev quickly takes him into the corner before holding him against the ropes for the knees to the ribs. The jumping superkick and a spinning slam sets up the Accolade for the first win of many.
Hall of Fame video.
Here’s Ultimate Warrior for the first time on Raw in about eighteen years. He puts on a Warrior coat and shakes the ropes, making his face very red in the process. Warrior hasn’t been sure what to say, so he puts on a Warrior mask and lets his other persona (or whatever it is) take over. He talks about how every man’s heart will beat its final beat and if the work he has done in his life means something, his story will never die. There are people in the back with his spirit and it will run forever. This is one of the most disturbing things you’ll ever hear given what happened tomorrow, as it’s a good farewell speech.
We get the very cool “Thank You Fans” video. I didn’t know what that was at first but it made me smile at the end.
Here are AJ and Tamina so the former can brag about being Divas Champion for 295 days now. She gave all of them a chance to prove her wrong and every single one of them has failed. She’s the hero of this story and the savior of the Divas division. Scratch that. She IS the Divas division, but here’s the debuting Paige to disagree. Paige is here to do what no one else would: congratulate AJ on her accomplishments. AJ tells her to go back to NXT and offers Paige a beating to send her there. Paige isn’t ready but AJ slaps her in the face and says let’s make it a title match. The fans are happy because they all know what’s coming.
Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige
The champ jumps her to start and drops Paige with a running elbow. The Black Widow goes on but Paige powers out, hits a horrible looking Paige Turner and wins the title in a shock. Well as much of a shock as it can be given how obvious it was.
Bolieve!
Here’s Hulk Hogan to present the Andre battle royal trophy to Cesaro. Sign in the crowd: “Hogan’s Cue Card: SMOOTHIE KING CENTER!” He gets the building right and says his favorite Wrestlemania moment last night was the battle royal. The fans cut him off with a CESARO chant and Hogan talks about how cool it was to see Big Show lifted into the air and slammed out because Andre himself was watching from Heaven. He brings out the thirty first man in the battle royal who just happened to be the winner.
Cesaro comes out with Zeb Colter in toe. To my great shock, Hogan shakes Cesaro’s hand, says congratulations and walks out. Zeb takes the mic and says he’ll handle it from here because he’s a real American. He talks about making Cesaro an American and a Zeb Colter guy, but Cesaro says that’s not quite true, because he’s a Paul Heyman Guy. Heyman comes out and says he’s the advocate for the King of Swing, sending Zeb into a frenzy. Heyman goes outside to tell the announcers how to talk about his new guy, allowing Swagger to come in and deck Cesaro and break the trophy (SHOCK AND AWE!).
Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro
Joined in progress after a break with Cesaro getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. They head outside with Cesaro staying in control and Heyman holding the broken trophy. Back in and Jack runs the ropes for the belly to belly throw. Knees to the ribs set up a WE THE PEOPLE shout before Jack cranks on both arms. A powerslam gets two but Cesaro raises his boots to stop the Vader Bomb. Cesaro comes back with the apron superplex and some running European uppercuts, but Swagger bails to the floor for the Swing and it’s a countout.
Rating: D+. Cesaro’s year is one of the biggest disappointments since last year as he should have been launched to the main event but he wound up doing nothing for the better part of a year. It’s nice to see him getting a push now, even though he’s cooled WAY off in the last year. Seeing him with a title makes me smile though as he certainly earned it.
We recap the opening sequence that set up the main event.
Stephanie tells Shield and Kane to cool it because what happened last night doesn’t matter. All that matters tonight is HHH winning the World Title match but Shield asks Kane where the Outlaws have gone. That’s too much for Kane who says HHH thinks the Shield are expendable pawns and lets it slip that HHH told him to beat Shield down a few weeks ago on Smackdown. Stephanie calls this an injustice and instantly has Shield’s attention. Oh this is going to be good.
WWE World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. HHH
There’s no HHH just yet though as Batista and Orton come to the ring. Both guys lay out Bryan with their respective finishers and here’s Kane to add a chokeslam. The fans are already chanting HOUNDS OF JUSTICE but they get Batista mocking the YES chant. Instead the fans chant for 3MB of all people but instead here’s HHH to start the match. HHH demands that the bell ring but, just like any villain, takes his sweet time doing anything, allowing the Shield to come out. The match is done at this point so we’ll get to what everyone wants to see.
Kane, Orton and Batista get on the apron and Shield stands on the floor looking at them. HHH looks scared to death in the ring as Bryan is still down in the corner. Now Shield gets on the apron but HHH says this isn’t happening. This isn’t breaking down into a war. The fans think this is awesome and all six get in the ring.
Kane is ready to fight but HHH sends him back to the ropes, only to turn around for a spear from Reigns. The fight is on and Ambrose and Rollins hit a great looking double dive to take down Batista and Orton. A Superman Punch puts Kane down and HHH is surrounded. Bryan gets back up for the running knee and the Authority runs to fight another day to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. The wrestling sucked and if you think that’s the point of the show, you don’t understand how this Raw thing works. This was a great show as it moved so many things forward, debuted new wrestlers, gave us some major plot advancements and felt important for the first time in a very long time. In other words, this show actually did stuff and had some fun instead of beating everything into our heads all night long. It’s one of the best post Wrestlemania shows of all time, which says a lot as this might be the second most important night of the year.
Monday Night Raw – March 23, 2015: The Last Ditch Effort
Monday Night Raw Date: March 23, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re at the final show of a pretty short build to Wrestlemania and they’re already in California. This is the final show before Wrestlemania and it’s time for the big push for all the matches. On top of that we have Snoop Dogg and ESPN’s Bill Simmons, who has been feuding with JBL on Twitter, in the building as well. Because that makes me want to see Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Sting. Well that’s a bit better. What isn’t a bit better is Cole babbling about fourteen years ago and all the WCW stuff. This is STING on Raw. We don’t need commentary right now. Sting says this is what it feels like to start Raw. Over the last fourteen years he’s watched HHH manipulate and undermine his way to the top of WWE. HHH must think he’s unstoppable and that there’s no consequence for his action. Even though Sting is the last soldier in some forgotten war. He’s not here to fight for WCW because that would be ridiculous at this point (REALLY good idea to drop that idea).
Instead he’s here to take HHH down…..and here’s freaking Stephanie. Are you kidding me? Sting got to talk for 90 seconds and she just has to interject herself now? Booker: “I don’t think Sting knows how to handle Stephanie.” Oh screw you too whoever told him to say that line. She goes into her usual schtick but Sting calls her a spoiled brat who buys her own hype and thinks she deserves this. Sting: “But it’s nice to meet you Steph!”
Stephanie recaps the end of the Monday Night Wars (about two minutes after Sting said this wasn’t about WCW) and says you can only paint a dog up so well. She doesn’t want to insult dogs by comparing them to Sting and ripping on WCW. So I guess her and Shane buying WCW and ECW is just forgotten. She loads up the slap but Sting grabs her arm and Stephanie is STUNNED. Cue HHH to thankfully save this segment and take off his jacket. Stephanie pulls out the sledgehammer but Sting of course has the bat ready. That’s still just a perfect visual. HHH leaves so Sting drops the bat and tells him to come on.
Well enough of that cool segment. Time to plug the App and show Divas standing in the back!
Dean Ambrose/R-Truth vs. Luke Harper/Stardust
Barrett is on commentary. Truth sends Stardust to the floor to start where the CODY chants annoy him. It’s off to Harper vs. Ambrose as the announcers talk about the betting odds for the ladder match. Everything breaks down and the good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Stardust holding Ambrose in the chinlock before an Alabama Slam gets two near falls in a row.
Harper throws Dean down as well and sets him on the top before tagging Stardust back in. A superplex attempt doesn’t quite work and Dean falls to the floor for a clothesline to Harper. He follows it up with a tornado DDT as Stardust is running the apron. Truth comes in to clean house and gets two off his sitout gordbuster with Harper making the save. A superkick drops Truth but Harper eats the rebound clothesline and a suicide dive. The Little Jimmy puts Stardust away at 10:40.
Rating: C-. The match was fine and it’s nice to see Truth get a win for the a change. The ladder match has the potential to steal the show if they let these guys go nuts, but I’m going to roll my eyes if Barrett walks out with the title. At least they’ve cut back on the stupid title stealing, but it’s going to wind up being one of those moments that makes me roll my eyes, only to be harmless at the end of the day.
Barrett wisely runs off with the belt before anyone can steal it. Truth gets Dean to do a little dance post match.
Some Special Olympians are here.
Video on Reigns, centered around a sitdown interview. He talks about how Lesnar has built up a mystique but backed it up. Reigns says he can and he will defeat Brock. Believe that.
Miz and Mizdow interviewed Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart about their new movie earlier today and of course the actors like Mizdow.
Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose vs. Prime Time Players/Ryback/Zack Ryder/Erick Rowan
Bill Simmons from ESPN is on commentary. The fans want Mizdow but get Titus giving Miz a backbreaker. Titus suplexes Young onto Miz as Simmons talks about Lesnar. Rose steals a tag that was meant for Mizdow but eats a discus forearm and atomic drop. Off to Rowan for a fall away slam of his own, followed by a Broski Boot from Ryder. This might be Ryder’s longest Raw match in at least a year.
Ascension comes in and stomps away on Ryder but Mizdow returns the favor to Rose by tagging himself in. He cleans house and takes off his glasses but Miz demands to be tagged back in. Ryder finally scores with a faceplant and dives over for the tag to Ryback. Everything breaks down and Miz charges into the Meat Hook, setting up Shell Shock for the pin at 5:48.
Rating: D. These are always hard to grade as there’s really nothing you can do with so many people out there. This was an easy way to help set up the battle royal, even though Ryback is probably the only guy in the ring that has a real chance of winning on Sunday. Decent enough match and a nice way to get all these guys on TV for a change. I still feel sorry for the Ascension though as they’ve fallen through the floor. Not as far as Ryder but that’s rare company. Simmons was fine but did almost nothing here.
The fans choose Randy Orton’s opponent.
Big Show: 11%
Kane: 12%
Seth Rollins/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble: 77%
Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Randy Orton
Mercury starts but quickly tags out to Noble. That goes as well for Jamie as you would expect but Rollins gets in a cheap shot from behind to give Noble an opening. Orton comes back with a powerslam and double Elevated DDT, only to avoid a Curb Stomp attempt. Rollins runs so Jamie takes the RKO (which looks awkward since he’s so short) for the pin at 3:17.
Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match, though I have no idea why Rollins needed to officially be on the team. He could have done the same thing as a manager outside but at least he didn’t get beaten up or pinned. This was the best thing they’ve done in the disaster of a build up for these two and it continues to be a good use of the Stooges.
This week’s sitdown interview is with Cena, who talks about how important it is to bring the US Title back to America so he can represent it around the world, including in Russia.
Nikki Bella has offered either AJ or Paige a Divas Title match tonight but they have to pick who gets it. Neither girl wants to take it over the other but Paige says AJ is crazy if she doesn’t take it. You know what that does to AJ and tension is teased.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Nikki is defending but gets speared down and hammered with right hands to the face. The champ heads outside for a bit before taking Paige down with a clothesline. We stop for some unnecessary pushups, allowing Paige to take her back outside and regain control. Back in and a facebuster gets two for Nikki as we take a break. We come back with Paige fighting out of a chinlock but walking into something like a spinebuster for two. A double clothesline puts both girls down and it’s Paige up first with her three clotheslines and a running dropkick for two of her own.
Nikki comes back with a horribly missed spinning kick out of the corner for two, only to walk into a superkick for the same. Rampaige is countered into a small package for two before Nikki hits an Alabama Slam (that’s becoming a really popular move). The Rack Attack is countered but Rampaige only gets two. They fall to the floor and AJ knocks out Brie, only to hit Paige by mistake, allowing Nikki to hit the big forearm. AJ is stunned as Nikki hits the Rack Attack for the pin to retain at 10:42.
Rating: C. Storytelling here again but I’ll give them credit for a good surprise on the kickout of the Rampaige. I’m still not sure why the title isn’t on the line Sunday, as it’s not like belts have never been up for grabs in a tag match before. This was fine though and Nikki has improved exponentially in the last few months. She would still be overwhelmed if a match ever got above second gear, but she’s gone from a disaster to totally watchable and that’s a big upgrade.
Paige and AJ get into it post match.
Here’s tonight’s other guest star Snoop Dogg, wearing what looks to be pajamas and accompanied by a lot of dancing Divas. He talks about how awesome Wrestlemania is going to be, but Curtis Axel cuts him off. Curtis says Axelmania is running wild and here to stay. Axel calls him a clown that’s been popping up on Twitter. He’s been waiting for Axel to show up because he needs to see the real mania. Cue Hulk Hogan to talk about pressing Andre over his head in front of 94,000 fans. He’s a fan of Snoopmania, but he’s not sure about this Axelmania. “What’s this brother smoking over here?” Axel tears his shirt off but eats a right hand before Snoop throws him to the floor and reveals a Hulkamania shirt. Posing ensues.
For those of you that call wrestling predictable, I ask you this: if I had told you three months ago that on the go home show for Wrestlemania, Hulk Hogan would confront Curtis Axel, how insane would I have sounded?
We look back at the Brock interview from last week.
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya vs. Los Matadores/El Torito
Rematch of the interspecies match from Thursday. In case you love this moronic comedy you see. The Usos and Naomi are on commentary as Cesaro throws Fernando down to start. Torito comes in to face Natalya but it’s just a tease as Kidd and Diego come in. Cesaro offers a cheap shot so his partner can take over with a chinlock. Back up and Kidd dives into a dropkick and the double tag brings in Cesaro and Fernando as the fans do not seem interested. Everything breaks down and Torito sunset flips Natalya for the pin at 4:15.
Rating: D. Six days before Wrestlemania. Six days.
Barrett has to give Kane the Intercontinental Title and doesn’t want to let it go again. Then he just gives it up after wasting thirty seconds of our time.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
Non-title. Rusev elbows him in the face to start and hammers away in the corner. Just Accolade him now and stop wasting our time. The fans want Lana as Rusev stomps away and we hit a chinlock. Jack fights up for a big boot and a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Swagger gets caught on the middle rope and clotheslined back onto the mat. The superkick and Accolade end Swagger at 4:37.
Rating: D+. My goodness I’m over seeing these two fight. Bring back the nameless jobbers instead of just having him destroy Swagger over and over again. We know what’s coming anyway, so why bother crushing Rusev like this? It’s such a waste of time and the little crowd reaction he gets at this point, so stop hurting him.
Rusev won’t let go so Cena comes out for the save. The brawl is on but Rusev takes him to the floor and posts Cena and throws him over the table. Rusev goes to leave but comes back for a running superkick. The announcers’ table is loaded up and Cena is thrown on top, setting up the Accolade on the table. Cena blacks out again.
Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He wants to know why people hide from the truth. Is it because you’re afraid for them to know who you are? Each and every single one of us are guilty of hating the people that looks at them in the mirror every morning. That’s why you put on makeup to cover all the inconsistencies inside of yourself. It doesn’t change the fact that every one of you is a liar.
Bray isn’t a liar though. His tongue is a sword of truth and cuts through the lies of this world. The Undertaker lies as well, but the angle with the burned wings has been sent to take him back to the other side. Thunder starts to rumble but Bray says this belongs to him now. He judges the living and the dead and he has judged Undertaker as guilty. Undertaker will feel Sister Abigail’s kiss on Sunday and Bray will be the new face of fear. AWESOME promo here and maybe Bray’s best ever.
Kevin Nash Hall of Fame video.
Natalya overhears Tyson Kidd talking to his Burger King and gets a bit jealous until she has a fry.
Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
The belt is above the ring. The other five participants in the ladder match are in a fan voted poll to be guest referee. Ambrose wins with 57% of the votes. They hit the mat to start with Bryan sitting out for a standoff. We hit a test of strength until Bryan suplexes him down and starts on the arm. Dolph reverses into a headlock and takes Bryan into the corner but it turns into a slugout. Bryan backflips out of the corner but Ziggler throws him over, only to have Bryan skin the cat and headscissor him outside. They fly at the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.
Back with Bryan fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a German suplex. He heads up top but gets crotched down, setting up a running top rope faceplant for two for Dolph. Bryan can’t backslide him so he just kicks Dolph in the face for two. We get dueling chants but the YES chants for some kicks in the corner drown them out. Bryan charges into a superkick and the Zig Zag is good for the completely clean pin at 10:55.
Rating: B-. Good but not great match here. It’s still weird to see Bryan getting pinned clean, especially around Wrestlemania time. I’d love to see these two get the time for a real program instead of just being in there with all the other people for a big messy title match. Good stuff here though and the best match of the night.
Dirty Deeds plants Ziggler post match and it’s ladder time. Everyone comes out for the big climbing war and the ladder falls down onto Harper’s leg, leaving everyone down on the mat. Harper might be hurt as that didn’t look planned.
Here are Lesnar and Heyman for the big showdown with Reigns. Heyman does his usual and says if he hasn’t sold us on the main event beating yet, there’s nothing he can do now. If you want to see Roman Reigns take a beating, you’ll get your money’s worth. Last year, the fans said Lesnar couldn’t beat Undertaker, but he could and did. People said he couldn’t beat John Cena, but he could and did.
Now people say he’s a mercenary, but Lesnar is a man who loves to hurt people trying to take the title away from him. Reigns might as well take Brock’s wife, take his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Reigns if he wants to take that title from Lesnar. This man is a beast who will take Reigns’ wife, his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Lesnar, so come for a fight. This Sunday Brock conquers the main event of Wrestlemania. Reigns says he can and he will, but this Sunday the champ says you can’t and you won’t.
Here’s Reigns himself at 11:08pm for the big staredown. Brock holds up the title but Reigns grabs it from his hand and holds it in Brock’s face. Lesnar tries to take it back and they struggle over the belt to end the show. THAT’S IT??? We waited two months for THAT?
Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t hate this show but my goodness it’s really hard to care about most of this. At the end of the day, they haven’t made me interested in most of what they’re presenting on Sunday. Bray’s promo was awesome and there were some other good things going on, but then we had a bull pinning Natalya as the Tag Team Champions literally looked on and a Burger King ad (which to be fair made me laugh).
Wrestlemania will have the potential to knock it out of the park on Sunday if they get the wrestling right, but at the same time, it has the potential to absolutely bomb. It doesn’t seem to have much higher to go than “pleasant surprise”, but it could be more along the lines of Wrestlemania 27: one or two good things, but overall a show where you look back and ask “what were they thinking?”
Results
R-Truth/Dean Ambrose b. Stardust/Luke Harper – Little Jimmy to Stardust
Ryback/Zack Ryder/Prime Time Players/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose – Shell Shock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury/Seth Rollins – RKO to Noble
Los Matadores/El Torito b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Sunset flip to Natalya
Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – March 9, 2015: Where’s That Autofocus Button?
Monday Night Raw Date: March 9, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
Wrestlemania is closing in on us and the card is pretty clear. That leaves just a few weeks to strengthen up the stories and make the fans want to buy the show. Right now, Reigns is still getting warm but this is the same arena the 2014 Royal Rumble was held in, meaning he might not be in for an easy night. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Rollins pinning Reigns, only to have Roman clean house afterwards. I still see no reason for Seth to get that pinfall.
Here’s Randy Orton to open things up with the Authority, minus the leaders, in the ring. Kane says the Authority wants to do this in public so there are no more questions. Without further ado, Kane officially welcomes Orton back to the Authority. Big Show is nearly booed out of the arena before he can say that Orton would RKO his own father to get where he wanted to go, so welcome back. Noble can’t do this and calls Orton a no good snake.
Rollins asks for some slack for the Stooges before addressing rumors that Orton isn’t part of the Authority. He’s just biding his time before he can get his hands on Rollins. That must make these people feel like idiots because he and Orton are standing side by side. Even Rollins had his own doubt and he’s sure the rest of the team did as well. “The security did, Kane did….and no one really cares what Big Show thinks.” Dang he’s nailing this voice of the fans schtick lately.
Rollins shakes Orton’s hand but Orton wants to know what’s happened to this team. They used to be ruthless but now they’re all sucking up to him. Kane is now a stupid gopher and Big Show used all his power to whine and complain. Does Noble hate him because he can’t get on all the rides at Disneyland? Ok points for a funny line. That leaves just Rollins, who is so blind that he can’t see what’s going on.
Orton has just been biding his time until Rollins feels safe and sound until he strikes. There is no future for Seth Rollins….but never mind because he’s just kidding. Rollins laughs and thinks Orton should take over for Stewart. The team poses and that’s finally it. This was about as big of a waste of time as I’ve seen this side of a HHH and Stephanie promo.
Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett
Non-title and R-Truth is on commentary with a burlap bag next to him. Cole: “DY-NO-MITE!” Truth: “I haven’t heard that since reruns of Mash!” Barrett quickly takes him down for two before cranking on the arm. A butterfly suplex gets two as JBL asks R-Truth about Dikembe Mutumbo (a 7′ NBA player). Barrett gets Bryan into the ropes and kicks him in the face as we take a break. Back with Barrett getting two off a superplex as the announcers continue their completely unrelated jabbering. A crucifix gets two for Bryan but he ducks a clothesline and hits the running knee for the pin at 7:10.
Rating: C-. Twenty eight years ago at Wrestlemania III, Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat had one of the best matches of all time for the Intercontinental Title. Now that title is held by a guy who loses to get his feud over and will likely walk out of the title match at Wrestlemania with the belt, making this whole thing a waste of time. My how times change. Even Truth’s commentary can’t save these things.
Barrett knocks out Bryan post match but Ambrose runs out to deck Barrett.
Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust
Stardust has the title itself and Truth is still on commentary. Ambrose takes him down to start with some running elbows. JBL and Truth argue over Truth stealing the Intercontinental Title a few times as Dean hits the running dropkick against the ropes. Stardust is sent to the floor for the suicide dive but he hooks a dragon screw leg whip as Dean gets back inside and we take a break. Back with Dean firing off right hands and some running forearms, followed by a bulldog. The rebound clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds to give Ambrose the pin at 7:27.
Rating: D+. Thanks for joining the feud Stardust. By losing this match, I’m sure it means you’ll be in line for a title push very soon. This story is building the title up, but it’s only after the belt is ripped apart in the first place. That’s my major issue here: they could do the same idea but without hurting the title.
Post match Dean grabs the belt but Ambrose, Bryan, Harper and Ziggler run in for a brawl. Truth slips the belt in his bag and sits back down on commentary. Everyone hits their finisher with Barrett coming out on top but he can’t find his title. Truth gives him a bag and Barrett runs into the crowd, only to find a toy Intercontinental Title. Well of course he did.
Cole starts to talk about the Hall of Fame but Booker has to explain the idea of what Truth just did. Tonight’s inductee is for Connor the Crusher, who will be receiving the first ever Warrior Award.
Here’s Paul Heyman to introduce a Roman Reigns video about his rise from NXT to the main event of Wrestlemania. He ends it by saying he can beat Lesnar, so Heyman responds by bringing out Lesnar himself. Heyman mocks Reigns’ fans for listing off all of his accomplishments, capping it off with a high pitched YAY. He’s known Reigns’ family since he was 14 years old and the truth about Reigns is his family would send Reigns to the bars and beaches to beat up football players and beach bums for target practice.
Now they’re doing the same thing with Lesnar but it doesn’t work that way. The Authority is hoping Reigns can win the title so Rollins can cash in on him, because Rollins isn’t cashing in on Lesnar. If anyone is thinking about pulling a Montreal Screwjob on Lesnar, they’re not leaving that stadium alive. Reigns is going to fight for everything he has but come up short. When Reigns is taking that kind of a beating….and there goes Heyman’s mic again.
It comes back on and says people keep cutting him off instead of coming to the ring and taking it out of his hands. Or better yet, have them come out here and take the title from Lesnar’s hands, because he might want to unify the title with the UFC World Title this summer. Maybe he’ll go to Las Vegas and knock out Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.
The title belongs to Lesnar instead of WWE and he isn’t giving it back. Twelve years ago, WWE put Lesnar in the ring against the Rock and he beat the star of the company. Then he beat the Undertaker to break the Streak. Then he beat John Cena to a pulp. Now he’s going to beat Roman Reigns and keep that title.
Just like last week and the previous week and the previous week: I still have no reason to care about this match. Why do I want to see Lesnar lose the belt? Because he beat up Undertaker? So? It was a fair match. Why do I want to see Reigns win the title? Because he’s Rock’s cousin? So? So is Jimmy Uso. There’s no connection to the fans here and no reason to want to see this match.
Bray Wyatt says Wrestlemania is almost here and he wants the reaper to find him.
Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Ryback
Because there was NO ONE else in the battle royal for either of these teams to fight. Ryback runs Kane over to start and drives shoulders in the corner. Kane kicks him in the face to block the Meat Hook and it’s off to Show for a spear. Ryback gets tossed around even more before it’s off to Kane, who gets supelxed to give Ryback a breather. The lukewarm tag brings in Rowan to clean house but he goes after Big Show, allowing Kane to uppercut him. Big Show punches Kane by mistake though, allowing Rowan to get the pin at 3:31.
Rating: D. It’s really hard to care about these guys when Rowan has barely done anything since turning face (or ever for that matter), Big Show and Kane are Big Show and Kane and we’ve seen some combination of these four guys in about a dozen matches this year alone. As usual, WWE comes up with a combination and keeps it going for months after people stop caring.
Big Show and Kane start arguing but SERIOUS STEPHANIE comes out to yell at them. She tells Big Show to shut up and start hurting people again. Kane needs to stop getting coffee and bring the monster back. Now get out of her ring and out of the arena because they’re not thinking about what’s best for business.
We look back at Miz’s commercial last week.
Miz pitches a partnership with Wiz Khalifa but Wiz has already signed up Mizdow. Damien comes in for a “rap” about beating Miz in the battle royal. Khalifa looks homeless and I have no idea why he’s on this show other than he’s from Pittsburgh.
Sheamus return video.
Wiz Khalifa performs and the fans don’t seem that interested. I have it muted for most of the performance as I again ask: what does this have to do with making me want to watch Wrestlemania? Mizdow came out to celebrate with him.
We recap AJ returning to save Paige from the Bellas.
The Bellas watch a clip of themselves in the Flintstones movie (they’re in it for about four minutes) and make Flintstones puns about beating up AJ and Paige at Wrestlemania.
Summer Rae vs. AJ Lee
Summer has Cameron and AJ in her corner after the three of them argued over being the Diva to get a chance. AJ gets a quick rollup for two and kicks Summer in the ribs. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two for Summer and she chokes in the corner, only to have AJ elbow her in the jaw. They trade kicks to the face with Summer getting two. Back up and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 3:05.
Rating: D+. Standard Divas match here as Summer continues to be the only competent one out of the new trio she’s in. I really hope the Give Divas a Chance bit doesn’t just wind up being about the Total Divas getting a chance to show that they have no business being in a ring. Summer is fine for a stuck up heel and the tag match at Wrestlemania could be good, but they need some fresh blood that can work in the ring.
We get a video on Sting vs. HHH narrated by someone who is supposed to be Sting but doesn’t sound much like him. He talks about WCW going under and how HHH is going to be punished for only having loyalty to himself. Sting has been waiting fourteen years to beat down HHH, so it’s game over at Wrestlemania.
Rusev and Lana are coming to the ring for the match but run into Cena. Rusev says no again but Cena cuts him off and says performing at Wrestlemania is a privilege. If he hasn’t earned that privilege this year then so be it, but Rusev needs to understand that he hasn’t earned the right to come to this country and disrespect it.
Coming here to become a Russian hero doesn’t give him the right to act without repercussions. He has the right to free speech but Cena has the right to shut him up. If Rusev insults America one more time, Cena will be there to prove how much fight America has. A USA chant strikes up as the Russians leave.
Rusev vs. Curtis Axel
Rusev jumps him before the match. Superkick, Accolade, 26 seconds. Axel didn’t even get to talk here and this felt like WWE saying “STOP CHEERING HIM WHEN WE DIDN’T TELL YOU TO!”
Post match Rusev calls America spineless and soulless, so here’s Cena to no music. He takes the hat and shirt off and charges to the ring. Rusev is quickly caught in the STF and passes out as Cena cranks on it hard. Cena pours some water on Rusev to wake him up but puts it back on Rusev, who immediately taps out.
Lana gets the mic and begs Cena to let him go, eventually giving him the US Title shot at Wrestlemania. The fans chant for Cena. No threat of retirement, no talk of Cena being frail, no Stephanie rambling about whatever nonsense she has on her mind this week. Just simple, good old fashioned AMERICA vs. Russia. It’s worked forever and it still works today. Stop overthinking these things.
Bray says he can’t wait much longer so tonight he raises the dead. Find him.
Rusev yells at Lana in Russian and she walks away, presumably to a movie set for a film that 18 people will see but will still be critically acclaimed, at least according to Michael Cole.
New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Non-title but New Days says they want the belts. Just pencil in the non-title loss now. Kofi is on the floor this week. Kidd and Woods get things going with Tyson being dragged over to the corner for some backbreakers from Big E. Back to Woods who kicks Kidd in the head for two but Cesaro sneaks in to take out Woods’ knee. The champs start focusing on the knee but Big E. tries to come in for a save. Woods grabs a quick rollup into a faceplant for the fast pin on Kidd at 3:50.
Rating: D. DANG IT STOP PINNING THE CHAMPIONS TO SET UP A TITLE MATCH! You’re doing this nonsense with the Intercontinental Title and….screw it. I’m too annoyed to rant about how stupid this idea is and I don’t want this to turn into a repeat of last week’s review. Short version: I hate this idea, I’ve always hated this idea, I’m always going to hate this idea and I’m always going to have to put up with it because WWE writers are idiots that have no idea how wrestling works.
Natalya vs. Naomi
Joined in progress after the break with a pinfall reversal sequence leading to some quick near falls. The Sharpshooter goes on but Naomi makes the ropes. The guys get in a fight on the floor and Naomi hits the Rear View for the pin at 2:41.
Natalya takes Kidd’s title post match.
Los Matadores vs. Usos
There’s no transition between any of these three matches as everyone keeps coming out during the exits for the previous match. Fernando headscissors Jimmy down and we take an early break. Cole calls Los Matadores underrated. If they’re underrated, I can’t imagine who is actually low rated.
Back with Jey dancing and bringing in Jimmy for a double elbow. The fans chant for Punk as Fernando cranks on Jimmy’s arm but thankfully it dies down just as fast. Everything breaks down and Diego dives into a superkick for two but Fernando sends Jey to the floor. Jey nails his big dive and Fernando charges into a Samoan drop. Torito offers a distraction but Fernando shoves Jimmy into the bull for the upset rollup at 8:05.
Rating: D. Well that happened. I have no reason to care about either team, the division has another pair of losers as champions, and the most interesting feud connected to this is Naomi vs. Natalya, who won’t get anywhere near the Divas Title anytime soon because neither is a big enough star on Total Divas. But hey, at least it ate up some time on this show and that’s what matters with 20 days to the biggest show of the year right?
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins tells the Stooges to calm down and says he’s the mastermind of everything.
Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He says he never sleeps but he’s always dreaming. He sees cities burning and governments crumbling because there is such beauty in chaos. In his dreams, the buzzards guide him to the shell of a man. Below the buzzards lay the Undertaker’s broken body. Pride is Bray’s favorite sin and it was pride that has led him to Undertaker. He doesn’t want to bow down to Undertaker or even stand by his side.
All he wants to do is walk over Undertaker on his way to the throne because he is the new face of fear. Everyone knew the Streak was going to end at some point and now Wrestlemania will be Undertaker’s final resting place. So will Undertaker accept his challenge? The urn is behind Wyatt and he suggests that it’s the way to bring him back. Bray opens the urn and nothing comes out of it.
He sets it back on the table and smoke stars to come out of it. Lightning appears on the screen and Bray shouts GIVE IT TO ME. The gong strikes and the fans are just as into it as they were last year. The lights go out and it sounds again before a spotlight shows the table and urn gone and Bray’s old rocking chair in the ring. Undertaker’s voice comes on and says you will rest in peace as the Wrestlemania logo and “the man comes around” (at least I think that’s what it said as they only showed it on a wide shot) appears on screen. Lightning hits the chair and lights it on fire, sending Bray to his knees in laughter.
Wyatt vs. Undertaker is official for Wrestlemania.
We look at Cena choking out Rusev again. Cena will have an exclusive interview just after Raw. I believe they said a Jericho DVD preview would have that spot.
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins
JBL on Reigns’ entrance: let’s get to it. That got way too big of a smile from me. The bell rings at 11:03 and Reigns goes right at Rollins, only to be sent into the middle buckle. Reigns is sent to the floor to give Seth control as Orton just stands on the apron looking bored. The Stooges get in an argument with Orton over not double teaming so Randy punches Noble in the face.
Rollins sends the two of them out, leaving he and Randy alone for the Authority. Reigns ducks a charge and sends Seth into the buckle to put both guys down. Seth crawls over but Orton moves away from the tag. A double middle finger (which the camera makes sure to pan down from) sends Rollins the message and the spear is good enough to pin Seth at 4:10.
Rating: D. Well it took long enough. They made it pretty clear when Kane and Big Show were ejected earlier in the night but they finally got to the point with this story. Granted it makes the last few weeks an even bigger waste of time, but at least it happened. Orton snapping is the right idea but it took way too long to get there.
Post match Reigns leaves and Orton yells at Seth before throwing him to the floor. He sends Rollins into the steps and says he would never rejoin the Authority. An uppercut knocks Rollins over the barricade and the beating continues in the crowd. Orton hits him in the back with a chair as Seth hasn’t done a thing yet. They head back to ringside with Rollins being thrown over the announcers’ table.
Orton RKOs Rollins through the table to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been far better to have Orton just show up and set up the match as a psycho? Oh right we had to see Stephanie calm things down and yell at people instead. What was I thinking? On top of that, sweet goodness it’s convenient that Orton got rid of everyone so easily in one night. Also, I’m so glad Reigns was used as little more than a warm body here. Seriously that could have been anyone and it would have had the same result.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was far better than last week, but it’s more to do with an absence of bad than anything really good. Stephanie throwing out Big Show and Kane at least made sense instead of just inserting herself into a segment so we remember who she is. That’s been the problem with so much of the build: it feels like they’re just throwing it together at the last minute and hoping we care enough about it that they don’t need to properly work at it.
The wrestling tonight was especially lackluster and really didn’t do much to enhance things. The show is far too focused on the Authority and the main event scene, which still doesn’t seem to have a focus. That’s the word for Wrestlemania: unfocused. The best developed feud for the whole show is Miz vs. Mizdow and that’s happening in a battle royal. But hey, we got Wiz Khalifa making an appearance and that put the live crowd to sleep and my TV on mute. That’s something right?
Results
Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee
Dean Ambrose b. Stardust – Dirty Deeds
Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Big Show/Kane – Rowan pinned Kane after a KO Punch from Big Show
AJ Lee b. Summer Rae – Black Widow
Rusev b. Curtis Axel – Accolade
New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Rollup into a faceplant to Kidd
Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View
Los Matadores b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – February 23, 2015: Saying The Same Things In Different Voices
Monday Night Raw Date: February 23, 2015
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re less than five weeks away from Wrestlemania XXXI and the main event of Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Title against Roman Reigns is set in stone as Reigns defeated Daniel Bryan last night at Fast Lane. Other than that, it seems that most of last night’s matches were designed to set up rematches at some point between now and Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence. That’s not something you see to open the show very often anymore.
Here’s Randy Orton to open the show to a VERY loud pop for the first time in four months after a Curb Stomp made him think he was Steve Austin in the sequel to a movie that didn’t do well enough to warrant a sequel eight years later. He says he isn’t here to deliver a twenty minute speech but he has to get something off his chest. He’s been gone for the last four months and we see a clip from November of Orton taking a Curb Stomp onto the table and another on the steps.
Orton is here to tell the Authority that he’s just getting started. There will be no more running and hiding for Seth Rollins, because Orton wants him out here right now. Instead he gets HHH, Stephanie, Big Show and Kane, none of whom look happy. Stephanie congratulates him on another comeback and starts a Randy chant. Orton says he isn’t part of the team anymore but she’s willing to forgive him. The offer of a handshake gets a no so Big Show says joining the Authority was the best decision he ever made and it would be the best one Orton can make. I’m pretty sure Show’s best decision ever was filming Vince having sex with a goat. How else can you validate his continued pushes over the years?
Back to Stephanie for her evil voice as she talks about all the things Orton has done over the years, including even some things to her. And you KNOW it’s serious when someone challenges Stephanie because she’s the most amazing thing in the history of ever right? Apparently there’s going to be a business conference on this subject later in case this segment didn’t beat it over your head hard enough.
The Authority goes to leave but this segment has only gone on for thirteen minutes so it’s not done yet. Orton says he’ll be there and drops the mic, so now it’s over. What an odd way to stretch it out even more. By that I mean it adds a little something else to the story and isn’t just the same thing over and over again. This segment was exactly what gets old fast: just filling in time with the same things being said in different voices until we get to the conclusion.
Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title even though Barrett doesn’t have his title belt after Ambrose stole it last night. Barrett’s entrance takes us to a break and we come back with him in mid-promo, talking about how he’s still the real champion. R-Truth is on commentary to actually tie things into his win last week. Ziggler cranks on a wristlock to start but Barrett takes him down into a chinlock.
Dolph fights up and grabs a quick neckbreaker, followed by an elbow drop for two. The champ sends him hard into the buckle for a near fall of his own before just punching Ziggler in the face. Back up and Barrett misses a big boot, tying himself up on the top rope. A dropkick sends Barrett out to the floor and us to a break. Back with Ziggler charging into the corner for right hands to the head of his own. He counters Wasteland into a DDT for two before walking into a big boot to the face.
Barrett almost falls down on a powerbomb attempt for two but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup for two more. Both guys miss a bunch of stuff in a fast sequence, capped off by Winds of Change getting two. The announcers freak out about R-Truth trending on Twitter as Ziggler avoids a charge into the post, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:07.
Rating: C-. The match was decent but I’m out of complaints to make about how the Intercontinental Title is being killed. Somehow, the fact that Ambrose has stolen it makes the belt look better than it has in months. Barrett has now lost to R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler in five weeks. Imagine that happening to any WWE World Champion and watch WWE change course immediately. Instead they cranking it up, and unfortunately I have a feeling Barrett will walk out with the title while the announcers claim he’s proven something.
Ambrose comes out to hold the title in Barrett’s face but Bad News doesn’t do anything. Ziggler stares down Ambrose and the title.
We look back at Sting and HHH’s confrontation last night with Booker T. bringing up DX invading WCW back in 1998.
It’s time for the business conference in the back with Rollins and Orton present. She yells at Rollins for thinking this is about him and tells Kane off for not looking at the bigger picture. Stephanie welcomes him back with open arms and Orton shakes Rollins’ hand. This would be more wasting time as everyone and their mother knows those two are fighting at Wrestlemania. Stephanie makes Orton/Rollins vs. Bryan/Reigns for tonight.
Sheamus is returning.
Prime Time Players vs. Ascension
Before the match, Ascension says the newest inductees into the Hall of Fame, the Bushwhackers, wouldn’t last four seconds with them. Viktor pounds on Young in the corner to start and a big elbow knocks Darren into the ropes. A double shoulder gets two on Young and a double slam gets the same with Titus making the save. Everything breaks down and Titus is knees out to the floor, but Darren small packages Viktor for the pin and Ascension’s first loss at 3:07.
Rating: D-. Good grief pick someone to be in the tag division already. We’ve tried the Prime Time Players already and that went nowhere, so now we’re pushing them again because Young is back? I know WWE hates to admit it, but Young is one of the least interesting people on the roster. Ascension could have been an interesting change of pace had they not been massacred by commentary and old guys, but WWE never has been the best at thinking ahead.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He’s been on a huge ride lately and it all started back at the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t enough to go through 29 other superstars though and he had to beat Daniel Bryan last night, but that’s exactly what he did. Now he’s going to Wrestlemania, which the fans don’t seem to have a problem with.
Before he can go on, here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt. Bryan talks about the doubters who don’t believe in Roman Reigns. He saw Reigns win the Royal Rumble (fans aren’t too thrilled with that) but somehow, he felt like all of these people. Inside, he booed and booed because a lot of people see potential in Reigns, but Bryan is the biggest Reigns doubter of them all. He sees all the strength and athletic ability in Reigns but he’s seen so many people with those attributes but no heart.
That heart is why people like Daniel Bryan but don’t like Roman Reigns. However, last night, Bryan gave it everything he had but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t from a lack of trying, but due to Reigns just being too much for him. Last night, Reigns showed how much heart he had and it was enough to beat him. Bryan shakes his hand and says he’d love to team with Reigns later tonight. Now go beat up Brock Lesnar in the main event of Wrestlemania. Bryan leaves and here’s Paul Heyman to talk to Reigns.
Paul comes to the ring and shakes Reigns’ hand for having a great main event and victory last night. He isn’t really surprised though because his money would always be on Roman Reigns against any man Reigns ever fought. Reigns vs. Sammartino in 1975, Reigns vs. Hogan and Andre in 1987, Reigns vs. Austin in 1998, Reigns vs. Rock in 1999, Reigns vs. HHH in 2000, Reigns vs. Cena anytime in the past thirteen years, Heyman would bet on Roman. His money was on Reigns at the Royal Rumble and it was on him again last night.
However, Reigns isn’t fighting a man at Wrestlemania, because he’s fighting a beast. Reigns has Heyman’s respect, but he can’t slay the beast. He can’t be the one to beat the one in 21-1. Couldn’t you argue that the one in 21-1 is Punk, as he’s the last victory and therefore number 21? At the end of the night, the ring announcer will proclaim Brock Lesnar still WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Reigns asks why Heyman isn’t standing in front of him. He tells Heyman to keep motivating him like this because Paul was there when Reigns went face to face with Lesnar after the Royal Rumble. Lesnar better respect him, because he isn’t going to like him much after Wrestlemania. This was the latest hard sell for Wrestlemania, but I’m really hoping Lesnar wins at this point, just for the shock of it. Reigns triumphing after being set up as the conqueror doesn’t work that well.
Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos
This is the Usos’ rematch after Kidd and Cesaro took the belts last night. Cesaro quickly takes Jimmy into the corner for a tag to Kidd before taking Jimmy outside, setting up a dropkick through the ropes from Tyson. Jey runs around and climbs the steps for a clothesline to drop Cesaro. They stay outside with Kidd hiding behind his wife and sending Jimmy face first into the apron. Back in and it’s Cesaro hammering Jimmy for two as things finally settle down.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jimmy dives over and tags Jey. Everything breaks down all over again with the Usos catching Kidd diving off the apron and throw him into the barricade. Cesaro gets backdropped on the floor as well before Jimmy gets two off a high cross body. Back from a break with Jey in trouble until he blocks Kidd’s springboard elbow drop by raising his knees. Cesaro drops him with an uppercut for two though and the champs maintain control.
The Cesaro Swing into the dropkick gets two and JBL says these two have been the best teams in the company for the past year. Jey finally catches Cesaro with an electric chair drop, setting up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash, only to have Kidd break it up with another springboard elbow. Apparently Kidd is legal, despite the lack of a tag. A spinning enziguri takes Kidd down and sets up the running Umaga Attack, which only hits buckle. Naomi breaks up Tyson’s rollup with feet on the ropes and the girls get into it outside. Natalya crotches Jimmy though and that’s a DQ at 10:30.
Rating: C+. Not as good as last night’s match but it still worked well enough. That being said, I don’t need to see a third match between these guys, especially after a clean pin last night and a DQ here. Kidd and Cesaro could be good champions but they need a deeper division to defend against. Like Ascension for example, but we need to push Darren Young instead of building them up.
Miz is in the back and yells at Mizdow for packing his bag wrong. The only title he hasn’t won so far is the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, which would mean even more star power. That’s what Mizdow wants to talk to him about: ever since he’s been hired as a personal assistant, he’s been getting calls from casting directors and one of them has made Mizdow a spokesman in a commercial. Miz isn’t pleased and has Mizdow lint roll his jacket. These two are pretty easily the best written characters on the show.
We look back at Bray Wyatt popping out of a casket and making it known that he wants Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Wyatt is standing next to a casket and says this time of year must be hard for Undertaker as he’s thinking about 21-1. This casket signals the end of Undertaker’s career as he’s been reduced to a pile of broken bones and broken dreams on the grandest stage of them all. The evil that used to exist inside Undertaker now resides in him. It’s so much better down here, so come find him.
Jack Swagger vs. Stardust
Stardust is back in the full body attire after having just tights last night. They slug it out to start with Stardust hitting the drop to the mat right hand. The Swagger Bomb doesn’t work but Stardust dives into the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere but cue Goldust for a distraction and a second Patriot Lock is good for the submission at 1:58.
Here’s Cena to talk about his loss last night. On the last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, he took Rusev to his greatest limits. Cena knew he was going to be the first man to break the “Acolyte”, but he never got the chance. A low blow put him down and he was never able to break the hold, but he never gave up.
Cena is fine with losing, but he’s not fine with the way it happened. He calls Rusev a coward and here are the Russians. Lana says they told him so because just like all Americans, Cena gave up. Since last night, they’ve been receiving messages of congratulations from Putin. Last night, Rusev proved that no one can beat him so Cena needs to admit that he was defeated, just like the United States. That gets Cena’s dander up but Lana shows stills of Cena passing out in the Accolade.
Cena says his life is a lie when he refuses to get up, but he’s going to keep going until he gets the job done. That’s what he does and it’s what America does too: they keep getting up when they have to fight. If Putin is congratulating them, he should be embarrassed. Seventy years ago, the flag was raised at Iwo Jima because that’s what America does.
Cena is going to bring the US Title home to the United States because he’s going to beat Rusev at Wrestlemania. Rusev asks why Cena deserves a rematch and turns him down. This is FINALLY doing the story they should have done all along. Not eye injuries or Cena is old. USA vs. those horrible Soviet scums. It’s worked for like, ever, and it’s going to work now.
We recap the Orton vs. Rollins stuff from earlier.
Rollins and the Stooges come in to see Orton to talk some strategy for tonight. Orton says tonight is about taking care of Bryan and Reigns, which Rollins agrees with. Not much to this segment.
Paige comes out for a match before the break, but instead we come back for a profile on Sting. It’s your usual profile with the talking heads, but we also get a big feature on the war with the NWO. There’s a quick mention at the end of the feud with HHH to tie it together.
Bella Twins vs. Paige/Emma
Paige tries to go after Nikki but gets shoved to the floor, allowing Brie to hit the Bella Buster on Emma for the pin at 30 seconds.
JBL thinks Paige will be back if she can find another friend. Maybe someone who could light it up with her?
Bushwhackers Hall of Fame video. There are some shots of them as the Sheepherders but no mention of the team by name.
Here’s Curtis Axel, now with a Hulkamania style Axelmania shirt. He was never eliminated from the match and how now lasted an unprecedented 29 days in the match. Axel enters himself into the Andre the Giant battle royal and says you can’t stop Axelmania.
Ryback vs. Curtis Axel
Axel’s offer for a handshake is ignored and Ryback brings up their time as a tag team. They were one of the best teams of all time, but only Ryback will be winning the battle royal. Meat Hook and Shell Shock end Axel in 44 seconds.
Seth Rollins/Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan
Before the match we get a package on Rollins’ feud with the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart. Rollins gives a big over the top introduction for Randy, prompting everyone in his corner to applaud. Bryan and Rollins get things going with Bryan quickly trying the surfboard, sending Rollins running over for a tag. Reigns comes in as well and runs Orton over, only to charge into a dropkick. It’s back to Bryan as they start working on Orton’s arm and shoulder. The backbreaker makes its return to put Bryan down but he’s able to backdrop Rollins to the floor. The Authority huddles up as we take a break.
Back with Reigns in trouble and Rollins putting on a chinlock. Reigns slams him down to escape and dives over for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel speeds things up but the YES Kick is countered into a rollup. That’s countered into the YES Lock but Orton makes the save. Reigns and Orton are sent to the floor with Rollins being sent out on the other side, setting up the Flying Goat.
The Stooges’ distraction lets Rollins crotch Bryan on top, allowing Orton to load up a superplex. Big Show’s applause isn’t enough though and Bryan punches Randy down. The flying headbutt misses though and it’s a double tag to bring in Rollins and Reigns. The Samoan flapjack sets up the Superman Punch to Mercury, allowing Seth to enziguri Reigns down.
Another tag brings in Orton for the Elevated DDT but Rollins tags himself in. That’s not cool with Orton as he DDTs Reigns anyway but goes outside to yell at Big Show and Kane. Reigns avoids the Curb Stomp and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Bryan tag himself in, setting up the running knee for the pin on Seth at 16:13. Reigns didn’t seem to mind Bryan taking the pin.
Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here with the ending that everyone was expecting in one form or another. I’m glad Reigns vs. Bryan didn’t start up again as that story needs to stay done. Orton coming back is a big deal and that’s exactly what it needs to be focused on. His match with Rollins at Wrestlemania should be awesome if they can do what they should, and this was a decent enough way to set it up.
Post match Orton loads up the Punt on Rollins but stops to RKO Noble. Orton picks Rollins up in the corner….and leaves so the announcers can plug the Network’s first birthday to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a really tricky one to grade as they went straight into Wrestlemania mode and basically jettisoned every boring method of storytelling they had been doing for months beforehand. That being said, it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world to set up.
This just doesn’t feel like a good or interesting Wrestlemania, especially given how quickly they have to build to it. Five weeks just isn’t enough time to do a proper build, especially after weeks of sitting through most of the same stories in the buildup to Fast Lane. This show was all about storytelling, and it has to be given how little time they have left.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag
Prime Time Players b. Ascension – Small package to Viktor
Usos b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro via DQ when Natalya interfered
Jack Swagger b. Stardust – Patriot Lock
Bella Twins b. Paige/Emma – Bella Buster to Emma
Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Running knee to Rollins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – February 9, 2015: Everyone Loves A Loser
Monday Night Raw Date: February 9, 2015
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We have a much better idea of what to expect at Fast Lane after last week and the Daniel Bryan fans have a lot more hope going forward. There are two weeks left before Fast Lane, meaning it’s all about the build to the show. It’s going to be interesting to see how Reigns handles his adversity last week going forward. Let’s get to it.
We recap last week’s events with the Authority making Bryan vs. Rollins for the shot at Reigns at Fast Lane.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Roman Reigns and we look at his events from last week. Roman says he stood in this ring last week as the #1 contender for the World Title at Wrestlemania, meaning the title was as good as his. Then the Authority showed up last week and made it clear that they don’t want Reigns in that spot. That’s fine with Reigns because he has more than enough spears to go around.
Cue Bryan who thanks Reigns for the help against Rollins and to say he’s ready for Fast Lane. This brings out the Authority to bring up Reigns’ lost last week and rip on Bryan for putting Kane in the casket. Bryan: “Given what your husband has done in caskets, I thought you would enjoy it.” Stephanie makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show right now. Now I know this sounds bad, but think of it this way: if they do this match, neither guy can wrestle again later. Just get it over with at the same time.
Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show/Kane
Bryan sends Kane to the floor to start for the Flying Goat and it’s quickly off to Reigns vs. Big Show. The Authority takes over in the corner with their variety of right hands and forearms, followed by Kane’s bad chinlock. Even the director gets bored with this one so they go to a clip of the spear to Big Show last week. Reigns fights out and suplexes Kane down, setting up the double tag to Bryan and Big Show.
Daniel busts out all the kicks and sends him to the floor with the big YES Kick. Kane and Show easily catch him in the air though and send Bryan back first into the ropes as we take a break. Am I missing something or did Bryan just go down to the equivalent of an Irish whip? Back with Big Show holding Bryan in a chinlock before it’s off to Kane for a bearhug. STOP PUSHING THESE TWO ALREADY! Big Show misses the Vader Bomb elbow but Kane breaks up the hot tag attempt. That earns Kane a YES Lock but it’s Show pulling Bryan to the floor. He throws Bryan into the timekeeper’s area for a fast DQ at 12:00.
Rating: D. The match was boring but as usual, the main issue here is these feuds still going for no reason other than the script saying they have to. Big Show and Kane are as dull and uninteresting of a pair of guys as I’ve seen since Bundy and Studd, and this is a far different time than their era. And, to go back to an old standard, was there ANY REASON why Kane didn’t tap out here? This just had to be a DQ?
Post match Reigns destroys Show with a chair but gets knocked into the corner by Kane. Bryan tries the running dropkick on Kane but hits Reigns by mistake. Roman shoves him down, so HHH makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show/Mercury/Noble/Rollins. DEAR GOODNESS WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS AGAIN???
Seth Rollins vs. Ryback
Rollins, the fifth guy to work two matches tonight so far, quickly knocks him onto the floor to start before putting on a front facelock back inside. Ryback shoves him to the floor and fights off the Stooges, only to have them break up the Shell Shock attempt for the DQ at 2:59.
Ryback gets curb stomped post match.
Sheamus is coming back.
Paige vs. Brie Bella
Freaking BRIE MODE is back. I was told that was leaving and now I have to hear it again. I hate this company at times. Brie kicks her down for two to start and hits the running knee to chest (which is close enough to Bryan’s finisher to make it a nice idea) for two more. The middle rope dropkick gets the same as Paige hasn’t had any offense so far. A double slap staggers both girls but a Nikki distraction backfires, setting up Rampaige for the pin at 3:14.
Rating: D-. The Bellas are such a disaster on top of the division. They’ve actually gotten a bit better in the ring, but my goodness they’re the least interesting act I’ve seen in years. This idea that they’ve fought so hard to get to the top of the division doesn’t hold up and their matches are some of the worst messes I’ve seen in a long time. But they make the top stars happy and that’s all that matters.
Here are Rusev and Lane to pay tribute to John Cena. After some microphone feedback, they agree that Cena has accomplished great things in WWE and just like the Oscars or Grammys, they want to acknowledge someone who has done so much. We get a quick montage of Cena winning before going to clips of some of his worst beatings. Lana wonders how Cena can keep going through all this punishment over the years. Rusev talks about how Cena is no longer full of ruthless aggression and is now just a weak nothing. He’ll break Cena at Fast Lane and crush his spirit.
Cue Cena, sporting a black eye for a rebuttal. He says Rusev thinks he’s already won the match at Fast Lane, so why bother having the match at all? It’s because so many people are sick of hearing Rusev and Lana run their mouths all over the place. Yeah Cena has taken some beatings over the years and suffered a lot of injuries but he keeps getting back up. Cena is going to hit Rusev in the mouth at Fast Lane and adjust his attitude. Some more trash talking leads to a brawl with Cena getting the better of it until Rusev gets in a shot to the bad eye and sends him into the set. This was fine.
Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rematch from last week. Ziggler goes for the leg to start and the fans are split on who to cheer for, though Dolph’s cheers are louder. A dropkick sends Bray into the ropes but he elbows Dolph in the jaw to take over. Dolph avoids a charge in the corner and scores with a neckbreaker before snapping Bray’s throat over the top rope as we take a break.
Back with Bray holding a chinlock before hitting that running cross body. There’s something to be said about someone just launching themselves at their opponent. Dolph ducks a big clothesline and nails another dropkick to put both guys down. The Fameasser and a superkick get two on Bray but he takes Ziggler’s head off with the clothesline on the floor. Back in and the Spider Walk sets up Sister Abigail for the pin at 11:40.
Rating: C+. This was good, though the same thing as last week. Bray looked like his old monster self here though and it was one of the more entertaining things I’ve seen from him in a good while. Ziggler’s push coming off Survivor Series has been a complete waste, but does that really surprise anyone?
Junkyard Dog Black History Month video.
Here are Lesnar and Heyman to address the Fast Lane situation. Heyman brings up the Brian Williams controversy and calls Reigns and Bryan the biggest liars in the land. Both of them say that they’re fighting for a chance to go to Wrestlemania but they’re just lying to themselves. Let’s start with Roman Reigns: the most violent dude from the most violent tribe from the most violent island in all of Samoa. Heyman stood next to him and it was clear that Reigns was terrified of Lesnar.
Then there’s Bryan, who clearly has no chance against Lesnar. It’s not just the size difference because Bryan can back it up with ability and can pull off miracle after miracle, but do you really think he’s the one to beat the one in twenty one and one? Let’s get to the point: whoever wins the match at Fast Lane should jump in a helicopter with Brian Williams and subject themselves to enemy fire, because it will be less dangerous than the F5 waiting for them at Wrestlemania. Again, this was fine.
New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust
Woods is on the floor again. Kofi and Stardust get things going with the painted one scoring with a shoulder and cartwheeling. Goldust tags himself in and that’s already enough for Stardust, who walks out. Kofi gets the pin off a rollup at 1:38.
We look back at Reigns and Bryan having issues earlier tonight.
Bryan says he probably would have done the same thing to Reigns in the heat of the moment. Roman comes in and says they should work together tonight so they can handle their business at Wrestlemania. Daniel doesn’t react.
Post break Goldust says this is Dustin talking and says Cody is his brother. Stardust shoves him and says Cody is dead.
Here’s HHH to address Sting. He’s been around this company for twenty years to make this a better place. Now he has to deal with the face of WCW, a company he helped destroy fourteen years ago. Then at Survivor Series, Sting had to attack like a coward. That’s why HHH is calling him out at Fast lane to meet him face to face so he can explain to Sting why he was right to wait. If Sting shows up, he’ll be allowed to leave with his face intact and never come back again.
The lights dim and a crow is heard. We go to a creepy video with HHH talking and Sting paint superimposed over his face. The fans want Sting and we see someone in the ring (clearly not the real Sting) who scares HHH so badly that he falls down. The words I ACCEPT appear on the screen and the guy is gone.
Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Non-title again and Cole says the rumor is a win could get Kidd and Cesaro in the title hunt. Lines like those are what make me hate WWE commentary. Jimmy slams Kidd down to start and it’s off to Jey as the announcers talk about the double date from Smackdown. Everyone falls out to the floor and the girls get in an argument as we take a break. Back with Jimmy suplexing Kidd but Cesaro breaks up the tag.
The heels take turns putting on chinlocks before Cesaro just hammers Jimmy’s face. Jimmy scores with an enziguri to knock Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings in Jey to face Kidd. Tyson blocks a dive but jumps into a superkick for a close two. The Running Umaga Attack misses and Cesaro shoves Jey off the top to give Kidd the pin at 10:37.
Rating: D+. GET. NEW. WRITERS! For the love of all things good and holy I’m so sick of seeing challengers beat the champions to get a title shot. Shut up with this nonsense about “getting a win to get in the title hunt” because THERE IS NO FREAKING TITLE HUNT! You have three teams having the same matches over and over again and see the division die more and more every single day. The Usos losing here makes the titles look even weaker, and now I’m supposed to want to see these teams fight again just because the worthless titles are on the line?
I would suggest that Kidd and Cesaro beat some teams to earn a title shot, but who are they supposed to beat? New Day? Los Matadores? As in the teams that have lost so many times that the wins mean nothing? We have probably ten people down in NXT spinning their wheels who have been ready for the big show for months but there’s just no room for them on the main roster? Are you kidding me? Get someone new in there so we can stop doing these same stupid ideas over and over again.
Rikishi is announced for the Hall of Fame. The loser Usos dance to celebrate. Does no one think before they map out these shows?
Damien Mizdow vs. Sin Cara
Miz makes Mizdow take off the sunglasses because he isn’t the stunt double anymore. Damien takes over but gets sent outside where Miz requests a water. That’s not enough thought as Miz wants him to open the water. The distraction lets Cara hit a dive over the top to take over as Miz isn’t very interested. The Reality Check puts Cara down but Miz freaks out over the Figure Four, allowing Cara to small package Mizdow for the pin at 3:43.
Rating: D+. This was story development more than a match, but instead of doing something like having Mizdow be better than Miz, we have Mizdow lose to give us yet another loser to cheer for, because, again, THE FREAKING WRITERS DON’T THINK THROUGH THIS NONSENSE BEFORE THEY THROW IT ON TV!
Bray Wyatt asks where we go when we die. Some say we become part of the earth, but some say we go on to eternity. People like him and whoever he’s talking about though are stuck on earth for the rest of time. They don’t belong here but Bray doesn’t fear him. He pities the man he speaks to because it’s time for that man to go home.
Sheamus is still coming back. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.
Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel
In case Axel getting squashed on Smackdown didn’t get the idea through your head. Axel says no one is going to take this from him, not even Kanye West. Dean hammers him up against the ropes to start but Axel knees him in the face and rubs Dean into the mat. We hit the early chinlock but Dean fights up with the rebound clothesline and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:40. The match was nothing special, but they lost me when I was told Axel was a third generation sports entertainer.
Dean won’t stop until he gets his Intercontinental Title shot. Barrett pops up and says the BNZ (Bad News Zone) still says Dean gets no shot.
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns vs. Big Show/Kane/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins
Here’s your “we have nothing else so here’s a big mess” main event. The five rush the two before the bell and it’s a big brawl to start. A double chokeslam plants Reigns and of course none of this warrants a DQ, meaning Bryan pulls himself up to start with Rollins. Seth talks a lot of trash and it’s off to Big Show for a slam. Reigns is nowhere in sight after the pre-match attack.
Noble comes in and gets sent into the middle turnbuckle but Mercury comes in to keep control. Seth has to break up a YES Lock and it’s off to Kane to continue the feud that will not die. Reigns finally gets up and starts beating people up but Big Show KO’s him with ease. A buckle bomb gets two on Bryan and the giants load up the announcers’ table.
Cue Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for the save and the match…..isn’t thrown out despite three people interfering and fighting three legal men to the back. It’s the Stooges vs. Bryan now with Reigns still down. The running knee is loaded up but Reigns tags himself in and spears Mercury for the pin at 7:38.
Rating: D. This was SUCH a great way to make me want to see Reigns vs. Bryan. I mean, I don’t know about you, but seeing Kane and Big Show destroy everyone in their path is clearly the most interesting thing in the world. Boring match here and just a glorified squash because the Authority must look strong no matter what. To sum up this match, Bryan and Reigns can’t combine to beat up Big Show/Kane/Rollins, but can beat up two Stooges. I’m so glad I sat through two matches tonight to establish that fact.
Bryan is upset at Reigns for trying to leave. He shoves Roman away and eats a spear to end the show with Reigns getting a heel reaction.
Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better after the first half hour, but my goodness a lot of the booking on here drove me insane. It’s clear that this company either doesn’t think these shows through before airing them or just doesn’t care that people actually see them. I have no reason to care about a lot of the people I’m supposed to care about in so many of these stories for one simple reason: people don’t cheer for losers. Why is that so hard to comprehend?
Another thing that should be easily comprehended: there is no need for a PPV between the Rumble and Wrestlemania. Just let us have a long build instead of this mess. You could easily do Reigns vs. Bryan as a major Raw match and then save the rest of the stuff either for Wrestlemania or just not do it because the stories aren’t all that great. I get the Network business idea behind it, but that doesn’t do much for the on screen product.
Results
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Big Show via DQ when Show threw Bryan into the timekeeper’s area
Ryback b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered
Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail
New Day b. Goldust/Stardust – Rollup to Goldust
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Usos – Kidd pinned Jey after Cesaro shoved him off the top rope
Sin Cara b. Damien Mizdow – Small package
Dean Ambrose b. Curtis Axel – Dirty Deeds
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins/Big Show/Kane – Spear to Mercury
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – March 10, 1997: The Skeleton of Greatness
Monday Night Raw Date: March 10, 1997
Location: Centrum Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 4,088
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
This is the show where everything changes. After years of the same set and look, Raw changes over to the modern look with the metal ramp and huge screen that is still around today, FINALLY making it look like a modern show. We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania which means things are about to get really interesting in a hurry. Bret Hart isn’t pleased with the treatment he’s been getting lately and very soon he’s going to have a chance to get the title back. However, Steve Austin is lurking around and is willing to do whatever he can to ruin Bret’s life. Let’s get to it.
During the opening video, we can hear Finkel telling the fans to make some noise.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sid to open the show with an in ring chat. Sid isn’t cool with teaming with Undertaker tonight, because he smells something fishy. Undertaker should just stay in the cemetery because he’s getting buried at Wrestlemania. Cue Undertaker to tell Sid to just admit that he’s scared. Undertaker doesn’t have to be his partner tonight because he can deal with Vader and Mankind himself. He drops the catchphrase but here are Bearer, Mankind and Vader to interrupt. Bearer talks some trash and the brawl is on with Sid and Undertaker running into each other as we head to a break.
Rocky Maivia vs. Tony Roy
Non-title. Iron Sheik, Bob Backlund and the Sultan (Rikishi) come out to talk about how they’re going to take Maivia’s Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Roy gets in some cheap shots but eats a quick clothesline. Rocky hammers him down as Backlund rants about taking the title. The spinning DDT sets up Rocky’s high cross body (WAY across the ring) for the pin in a hurry.
Sultan comes in and is dispatched just as fast. The legends get taken down as well, allowing Rocky to escape. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former Tag Team Championship partner is in the crowd and joins Rocky on the ramp.
Heavy Metal/Pentagon/Pierroth vs. Latin Lover/Hector Garza/Octagon
This was during the WWF’s attempt at topping the Cruiserweight division, despite these guys not being quite as good as Mysterio and Guerrera. Garza and Metal, the two of the three not in masks, get things going as Lawler promises to beat Paul E. Dangerously in a debate later tonight. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Pierroth and Lover, with Pierroth taking over with a clothesline.
Lover comes back with a spinning high cross body and Pierroth is nice enough to stand there so it can connect. Off to Octagon vs. Pentagon (the Jr. of which is currently in Lucha Underground), who look almost identical with black attire and colored masks. Pentagon gets armdragged down and it’s back to Garza vs. Metal. Metal misses a charge to the corner and falls outside but is still able to avoid a charging Garza. We cut to the crowd where a big, muscular woman is sitting in the crowd. Her name hasn’t been given yet but I’m sure you know who she is. Mongolia or something like that. Whoever she is, security gets rid of her as we take a break from the match going on in the background.
Back with the fans LOUDLY calling the match boring. Metal has his foot on Garza’s back before it’s off to Pierroth (I believe part of the heel team) as we go to a split screen of Chyna challenging Bret last week. Apparently Chyna has been arrested. For sitting in a crowd? Now we go to a new split screen for an interview with Brian Pillman who is back from another injury.
Lover dives off the top onto Pierroth, Metal dives onto both of them, and Octagon dives onto that big pile. None of this is acknowledged by the announcers until Garza does his big corkscrew plancha onto the five other guys. As we look at a double feature, Metal rolls up Lover for the pin.
Rating: C-. I assure you, the match was just as disjointed and messy on the show than it sounded here. It was clear that this was just meant as background noise for the storylines going on, which to be fair were more interesting than what we were seeing here. At the end of the day, there’s no reason to care about any of these guys and that played a huge role in the division never going anywhere.
Wrestlemania ad.
Roy Raymond vs. Ahmed Johnson
Johnson has been dealing with the Nation and needs partners to face them in a Chicago street fight. The good sized Raymond tries to get in some cheap shots and actually suplexes Johnson down as the Nation comes out to watch. Johnson doesn’t care for the white rappers though and beats up Raymond instead, setting up an ax kick and the Pearl River Plunge to end the jobber, all with the Nation theme song playing.
Faarooq goes on a rant about his father leaving him when he was a kid and calling Johnson an Uncle Tom. Johnson isn’t scared of the Nation because he has the two baddest men he can find. The entire Nation can come at him because Johnson has the city of Chicago in his corner. Here are the Legion of Doom to join Ahmed and we have a street fight for Wrestlemania.
You would think that would end the segment but JR gets in the ring to interview the new team. Hawk says the game is ready and after Wrestlemania, the Nation is going to look like a pile of raw….sweat socks? Animal asks if the Nation can hear the power of the fans, triggering a big LOD chant. Johnson says all of the Nation look white now, even the black boys. Because they’re scared you see.
New Blackjacks vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog
Non-title again. Owen cuts off new European Champion the British Bulldog but swears he isn’t jealous. Before the match, Windham says they would win the titles if they were on the line here and Bradshaw accuses Owen of living off Bulldog. He also says Owen has purdy lips and the brawl is on. Owen posts Bradshaw on the floor as the cameras are still trying to master this new set. Bulldog clotheslines Windham outside and we settle down to Bradshaw hammering on Bulldog in the corner.
A split screen gives us Vader and Mankind, who will be challenging for the titles at Wrestlemania, saying the champs aren’t good enough or strong enough. Bradshaw fights back against Bulldog and knocks Owen off the apron. This split screen makes it really hard to keep track of the match. Back to a full screen with Owen backdropping Bradshaw but taking a low blow as JR plugs the hotline. They head outside with Owen going into the barricade before a suplex gets two back inside.
We take a break and come back with Windham breaking out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker as the fans again think this is boring. Owen tries to make a save as Bret vs. Sid in a cage is officially announced for next week. We’re still not done with the storylines during the match as Taz pops up on the split screen and warns Lawler not to keep making jokes about him. Bulldog shoves Bradshaw off the top and the hot tag brings in Owen. Spinwheel kicks drop both Blackjacks and everything breaks down with Owen putting Windham in the Sharpshooter, only to have Bulldog shove the referee for the DQ.
Rating: D. Wrestling wasn’t exactly this show’s strong suit if you haven’t gotten that yet. The ending is much more about building up the friction between the champs than anything else, which was supposed to lead to them dropping the titles at Wrestlemania. There wasn’t much to see here though and the split screens are getting old in a hurry. The Blackjacks went a total of nowhere off this push.
The announcers aren’t sure why the Blackjacks win, even though Bulldog clearly shoved the referee.
Preview of the Slammys, which used to be a separate show and far more memorable, as well as right before Wrestlemania.
As soon as the match is over, here are Taz and Bill Alfonso to get in Lawler’s face. Jerry goes right after him but Sabu dives off the top and right through a table. It’s not clear who he was trying to hit but Lawler seems to approve. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer get Sabu out of there.
Leif Cassidy vs. Miguel Perez
Cassidy is of course Al Snow. Lawler is ranting about Heyman and ECW but switches gears to insult Puerto Rico. We see a clip of Perez debuting a few weeks back in the Manhattan Center and he’s as generic as you can imagine. Perez hiptosses Cassidy over and hits some dropkicks as the crowd is really not interested.
With the match boring everyone to tears, we jump to another split screen with Paul Heyman shouting about wanting to fight Lawler. The other half of the screen is now on Lawler as we can’t see any of the match. For once I can’t say I blame them. Back to the ring with Cassidy working on Perez in the corner but missing a moonsault. You can see the empty seats opposite the camera and there are more emptying as the match goes on. Perez grabs a quick rolling cradle for the pin.
Rating: D. It’s clear that they had nothing better to do here than show the Heyman vs. Lawler stuff. Perez is just another (very hairy) guy who was brought in to fill in a spot on the roster. The company’s energy is starting to build up but there’s still this kind of stuff to get through at times.
Sid shouts that he doesn’t react but reacts reaction. He goes on about the tag match tonight and is ready for the cage match next week. Yeah there’s a major title match six days before Wrestlemania in case you didn’t realize this was a very different time.
Hour #2 begins.
Jim Ross brings out newcomer Ken Shamrock of UFC fame, even though UFC meant almost nothing at this point. Shamrock is going to be the special referee in the submission match at Wrestlemania because he’s a legitimate submission expert. He sucks up to the fans a bit and thanks Vince for letting him appear at Wrestlemania. Shamrock’s only concern is being a fair referee which is all he ever asks in his own fights.
Cue Austin on the screen, threatening to stomp a mudhole in Shamrock if he has to keep running his mouth. Austin isn’t happy with Bret getting a title shot six days before Wrestlemania, but he wouldn’t mind the submission match being for the title. Shamrock doesn’t have his gear tonight but he isn’t going anywhere if Austin would like to come try him out. Instead it’s Bret to a pretty strong but not universal ovation. Shamrock was very shaky on the mic here but to be fair he was brand new at this.
Bret says it’s nice of the WWF to let him finally say something all these weeks after losing the WWF World Title. He’s seen signs with people saying that Bret is crying again, but he’s had it up to here with the lack of justice but he accepts the WWF’s apology by giving him a title match next Monday night inside a steel cage. Sid is good, but next week Bret is going to become a five time champion. That means Austin is the lucky one because he’s going to be receiving a title shot at Wrestlemania.
In something that really affirms Bret’s change of attitude, he flat out says he’s the best submission wrestler in the company with Shamrock standing about five feet away from him. Everyone in the company has screwed him over (oh you have no idea) but he has no issues with Shamrock, unless he tries to screw him over at Wrestlemania. Shamrock says he’ll be a fair referee and raise the winner’s hand. This brings out Austin to flip both guys off and leave. I love how simple that was from Austin. Why give a big speech when you can just do something quick and leave?
This was an outstanding segment and the story of the Attitude Era in a nutshell: Bret, representing tradition and respect, can’t handle it when this in your face new generation is starting to pass him by. The war with Austin carried the company through 1997 and launched Austin into superstardom, but a lot of people overlook how good Bret was in this role. Most people don’t give him credit for how good he was on interviews, but he was able to keep it simple here and nail it with promos like this one. The character is great, the matches were some of the best ever, and the story was perfect.
Here’s Honky Tonk Man as he’s trying to find his new protege. He isn’t wasting his talents on a crowd like this and mispronouncing the name of the town, which is more old school, basic heel work that is almost guaranteed to work.
Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya
Honky Tonk Man joins commentary and Montoya is Justin Credible under a mask. How amazing is it that Billy is still having pay per view matches eighteen years later? It’s one of those things that just doesn’t make sense that you would never imagine at this point. Gunn ties Montoya in the Tree of Woe and stomps away before nailing a running clothesline. An enziguri puts Gunn down and JR reads house show ads to ignore another boring match. Gunn grabs a quick DDT and drops a top rope legdrop for the pin as Sunny is shown in a robe, promising undercover work on Shotgun Saturday Night.
Mankind talks about his mommy and hits himself in the head. The Undertaker thinks he knows him but he’s about to know him even better. He goes on to talk about taking a bite out of a bad apple but we cut to a commercial.
Goldust vs. Tim McNeedy
HHH and Chyna are on the stage to distract Goldust but it really doesn’t work. Goldust hits a running clothesline, sends McNeedy into the corner and nails the Curtin Call for the fast pin.
HHH and Chyna come to the ring but Marlena comes out and jumps on Chyna’s back to a really big reaction. Referees break it up but Chyna shoves them all away with ease and throws one onto the rest.
It’s time for the debate between Lawler and Dangerously with Ross moderating. Jerry goes first and asks why ECW exists. This is the biggest exposure they’ve ever had because they’re a bunch of misfits and thugs, who happen to be surrounding the ring. Dangerously is comically leaning over the podium as Lawler rips on ECW’s obsession with violence as the Eliminators, Taz and the Dudleys look on.
Jerry calls the ECW fans idiots with Honky Tonk Man agreeing. Lawler says ECW couldn’t get a crowd in a big arena in Philadelphia, even though he gets the name of the big arena wrong. Dangerously goes on one of his patented rants about how ECW is about busting themselves to earn the fans’ respect and give them their money’s worth. Cue Sandman, Dreamer and Beaulah with Sandman saying he’s ready to cane Lawler right now.
Lawler says there are four million people watching this but Dangerously is bragging about getting 1100 people. “You can get 1100 people to watch paint dry.” Unless you’re TNA in New York City more than once a week right? They start shouting at each other with Dangerously saying he’s proud of hardcore, so Lawler implies Paul is gay.
Dreamer is ready to fight and the rest of the ECW guys get in the ring. Jerry calls out his friends…..and no one shows up. Lawler is allowed to leave as this segment comes to a strange close. I’m really not sure who I’m supposed to cheer for here as Lawler was in full on heel mode here but he was defending the WWF. This was much more about setting up Lawler actually appearing in the ECW Arena a few months later and then fighting Dreamer on pay per view in August. It was WAY different than anything else they were doing at the time and pretty entertaining but this would be like running an angle with ROH back in 2005.
Mankind/Vader vs. Undertaker/Sycho Sid
Sid has to go it alone before Undertaker comes to the ring. After nearly a minute of double teaming, Undertaker comes out to no music and cleans house, hitting a chokeslam on Vader. Of note here, they made sure to cut the camera angle to a lower shot so you couldn’t see Undertaker not getting him that high off the ground. Little things like that are what keeps starts looking special instead of making everything as realistic as possible and causing people to look human.
Vader and Sid officially get going with Vader in control off a series of headbutts and a big clothesline. A splash gets two on the champ and we hit the chinlock. It’s a LONG one too with Vader holding onto Sid for over two minutes and goes into a break. Back with Sid suplexing Vader but Undertaker is fighting Mankind on the floor instead of taking the tag.
Mankind comes in and drops an elbow but Sid crawls over and makes the tag a few seconds later. Well that missed tag was pretty worthless. A chokeslam gets two on Mankind as Sid and Vader fight on the floor. Sid hits his partner by mistake and the champ gets chokeslammed, setting up a modified Taker Dive, only to have Sid lay Undertaker out with a powerbomb, giving Vader the pin.
Rating: D. The chinlock just killed this match and it never had the chance to recover. Not that it mattered though as this was much more about angle advancement than the match itself. Undertaker was starting to get ticked off near the end there and angry Taker breaking stuff is all kinds of fun. Also, I had forgotten the Taker Dive had debuted at least six months before Ground Zero.
Sid breaks up a post match Vader Bomb and Undertaker beats up Vader for a bit.
Bret promises to win the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a case where the good is REALLY good but the bad is horrible. It was clear that they had no interest in the midcard at this point other than maybe HHH vs. Goldust, because other than the main event and Austin vs. Hart, almost none of the wrestling stuff was worth a thing. Lawler vs. ECW was more about ECW than anything else, but it was really cool stuff to see back in the day. The core is here though and once they fill in the details, this company is going to blow Nitro out of the water.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – January 26, 2015: Episode IV: A New Hope
Monday Night Raw Date: January 26, 2015
Location: WWE Studios, Stamford, Connecticut
Hosts: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
This is going to be a special edition of the show as there won’t be any new matches. Due to a very strong blizzard in the northeast, tonight’s show was canceled and tomorrow’s Smackdown has been postponed to a live show on Thursday night. I’d expect a lot of highlights and taped matches on this show so let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the blizzard to explain why things are a bit different tonight.
Opening sequence.
Cole and Booker T. talk about what’s coming, including last night’s World Title match and the Royal Rumble in their entirety and an interview with Brock Lesnar.
JBL is on the roof of WWE Headquarters as the weatherman for the evening. He gets in a funny line about Sasquatches found frozen in ice dying warmer than he is right now. Points for a decent idea at least.
First up is last night’s World Title match. Since I already did the play by play for this show last night, I’ll be copying over the full version from last night, even though it may be clipped on this broadcast.
WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Lesnar is defending and we get big match intros. Rollins immediately bails to the floor and Lesnar hits the first German suplex on Cena. There’s the second German as Rollins comes in, only to get caught on Brock’s shoulders. The Stooges make the save so Brock suplexes them at the same time. Brock launches Seth back into the ring and Germans Cena again. All Lesnar so far.
Both challengers are easily suplexed again and there’s the Kimura to Cena. Brock even climbs onto Cena but Seth makes the save with the springboard knee to the head and Lesnar is in trouble. A double suplex puts Lesnar down and there’s an AA but Rollins throws Cena to the floor and only gets one on the champ. Both challengers are thrown to the floor and you can see everyone laying as Brock walks around the ring. Seth knocks Brock into the steps for a breather, leaving Cena to beat Rollins up inside.
The fans absolutely hate Cena and are thrilled to have Brock break up the Shuffle with rolling Germans. Rollins breaks it up for some reason though and knees Lesnar out to the floor. Now it’s Cena getting all fired up and cleaning house, only to have Rollins knock him outside. Seth tries a springboard onto Lesna but gets caught on Brock’s shoulders for an F5. John has to make a save so Brock feels the need to throw him down with another German suplex.
That’s not enough for Brock though as he loads up the announcers’ table (and destroys a monitor), only to walk into the AA. Brock doesn’t even stay down so Cena hits another, only to have Lesnar pop up again. A third AA gets two as Rollins makes the save, followed by the Curb Stomp for two with Cena making a save. Now the fans are impressed. Lesnar throws them both down again and goes outside, only to have Cena follow him out and spear the champ through the barricade.
Cena slams him hard into the steps and blasts him in the face with the same steps, knocking the champ onto the announcers’ table. Seth kicks Cena down and goes up for a top rope elbow through the table to put everyone down. That was one heck of a crash as the war continues. Back in and Rollins hits the low superkick for two on Cena but John grabs a popup sitout powerbomb for the same. Lesnar is receiving medical attention as Rollins counters a superplex attempt into the running buckle bomb for two.
Everyone is down again but Cena grabs the STF, only to have the Stooges come in for the save. Rollins plays Reigns in a Triple Bomb as a stretcher comes out for Lesnar. Cena kicks out at two so Rollins grabs the briefcase, only to miss the charge and fly out to the floor. The Stooges take a double AA and Rollins gets the single version but kicks out at two. We cut back to Lesnar who says he wants to stay out here. Cole says Lesnar has at least a broken rib. Rollins enziguris Cena down and the Curb Stomp connects for another near fall.
Rollins busts out a Phoenix Splash but Lesnar CHARGES back in for some German suplexes as Beast Mode is on. Seth flips out of a German though and knocks Lesnar silly with the briefcase, only to have Lesnar pop up with an F5 to counter the Curb Stomp onto the briefcase to retain the title at 22:45.
Rating: A. If there’s one thing WWE can do like no one else, it’s organized carnage. These guys DESTROYED each other for twenty two minutes and I would have believed anyone could have won at any time. Lesnar going into that other level is absolutely terrifying and you believe he could beat anyone at that point. Great stuff here and well worth going out of your way to see. They’re making Lesnar out to be unstoppable, meaning whoever gets to take the title off of him will be a huge star. You might even say they’ll be Reign(s)ing. And yes that was as stupid as it sounded.
This Thursday, Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a casket match on Smackdown.
Seth Rollins is live in studio for an exclusive interview. Rollins says he deserved to be in the title match at the Rumble because of his skills, not because he brought back the Authority. He did everything he was supposed to do to win the title, including Curb Stomping Lesnar. It’s put him down before, but it didn’t work last night.
The springboard elbow and Phoenix Splash should have won and Rollins was surprised that they didn’t. Rollins even admits that he underestimated Lesnar last night, but Lesnar underestimated him as well. Lesnar may be the World Champion, but he doesn’t have a Plan B. Brock will be here next, and Rollins says he can come take this chair from him. It’s not often that you hear someone admit their best wasn’t good enough and this came off more like a face interview than anything else. I don’t think it’s a turn or anything but we’ll call it shades of gray.
After a break, Lesnar comes up to the interview set and says Rollins has his chair. Rollins gets up and shoves the chair down before walking away. Brock sits down and confirms that he has a broken rib but it was time for him to win last night and that’s what he did. Heyman says they’re not at odds with the Authority because Lesnar is going to be headlining the biggest show of the year. If the Authority has a problem with someone, Brock Lesnar will be there to take them out as long as the Authority pays him what he’s worth.
We look at a clip of Brock breaking the Streak and Lesnar says he won the match due to overcoming and conquering everything in his path, just like he has everything else. After that totally obvious piece of filler, Brock says he’s happy for Reigns and hopes he’s up for the challenge, because the champ is ready. When a steamroller has momentum going, get out of his way. Heyman says Reigns can’t stop Lesnar. “Anything else?” Cole says Reigns will be here later tonight and Lesnar thinks he might stick around.
Lesnar vs. Reigns already sounds better. Not due to anything here as this was nothing special, but because it’s not in the really boring Royal Rumble. I really do think that has more to do with it than anything else. When you get down to just Lesnar vs. Reigns as two monsters clashing, a lot of that hatred is going away and people will calm WAY down over it. Just thinking that it’s Reigns vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania and forgetting last night makes it feel a lot less annoying and dreadful. That’s a big step forward.
Royal Rumble
90 second intervals and it’s Miz at #1 and R-Truth at #2. The fans immediately want Mizdow but get a headlock from R-Truth instead. Feeling out process to start until Truth gets crotched on top. In at #3 is BUBBA RAY DUDLEY, complete with taped up glasses. It’s Miz getting the big beating and the wind-up elbow has Miz reeling. Truth (appropriately) helps with What’s Up and is even told to get the tables. You know the Philadelphia crowd is up for that. Miz gets back up and eats 3D, allowing Bubba to easily eliminate him.
Luke Harper is in at #4 as Bubba throws out Truth. They immediately start hammering on each other and Harper fights out of the Bubba Bomb before kicking Bubba in the jaw. A big lariat puts Harper down though and the ECW chants revive Dudley. Bray Wyatt is in at #5, complete with lantern. Bubba stares him down but Harper gives us a Wyatt Family reunion as the fans want D-Von. Harper throws Bubba out and it’s time for the big staredown.
They stand in place until Curtis Axel is in at #6 but Erick Rowan (who didn’t qualify for the Rumble) jumps him from behind though and whips him into the barricade, apparently stealing Axel’s spot. Harper looks at Rowan and wants a team up, much to Bray’s excitement. Bray and Harper join forces though and Rowan gets double teamed, only to have Bray dump both of them out to clear the ring.
The Boogeyman returns at #7 and Cole informs us that the guy coming out to I’M THE BOOGEYMAN is in fact named the Boogeyman. Bray smiles at him and stops a charge with a big clothesline, setting up the easy elimination. Sin Cara is in at #8 and Cole sounds bored out of his mind. Cara gets in a kick from the apron but Bray just decks him with a right hand. Sister Abigail connects and Bray is all alone again a few seconds later.
Bray grabs the mic and issues an open invitation because he has the whole world in his hands. Zack Ryder returns at #9, hits the Broski Boot, and is quickly Bray’s fifth elimination. Daniel Bryan is in at #10 to really pick things up. He immediately starts the kicks and has Bray in trouble in the corner. Even more kicks put him down as Fandango is in at #11. Bryan busts out even more kicks and an old school airplane spin but doesn’t throw Fandango out.
Tyson Kidd (complete with his addictive theme song) is in at #12 to slug it out with Bryan before a double cross body puts both guys down. Stardust is in at #13 as we’re firmly in the midcard portion. Cole says this is Stardust’s first Rumble to split a few hairs. We currently have Wyatt, Bryan, Stardust, Fandango and Kidd in the ring. Stardust and Fandango trade skinning the cat saves before Bryan belly to back suplexes Kidd out.
Bray gets knocked through the middle rope and Bryan follows with the Flying Goat, meaning both guys are still in as Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14. Stardust jumps him upon entry but eats a Diamond Cutter. Fandango takes the middle rope version, followed by Wyatt missing a charge and taking one of his own. Rusev is in at #15 and it’s time to clear out some space. He blocks a Diamond Cutter and dumps Page and Fandango, setting up a showdown between Rusev and Wyatt.
Daniel breaks it up with a top rope dropkick and unleashes more kicks, only to have Bray pop up and dump him out far earlier than I was expecting. Goldust is in at #16 as the crowd is just dead. Stardust tries to throw out Goldust (with Cole mentioning that Goldust was eliminated by his brother last year, despite saying Stardust was in his first Rumble. Like I said, splitting hairs) but Goldust saves himself. The fans start chanting for Bryan and them switch to booing.
Kofi Kingston is in at #17, giving us Kingston, Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. Bray catapults him over the top but Kofi skins the cat and comes back in with a springboard shot to the head. Everyone gets into one corner until Adam Rose is in at #18. You can hear every word of the songs now as the crowd just does not care at the moment. Kofi is thrown out but the Rosebuds catch him and walk him back to the apron. Rusev dumps Rose and Kofi a few seconds later and Roman Reigns is in at #19 to a lot less booing than I was expecting.
Roman starts cleaning house and dumps both Dust Brothers, only to get double teamed by Rusev and Wyatt. Big E. is in at #20 to clean house and give us a very powerful foursome of Big E., Rusev, Wyatt and Reigns. Mizdow is in at #21 but Miz runs out to say it’s his spot. Damien finally stands up to Miz and goes in to a good reaction, only to be dumped by Rusev. Jack Swagger is in at #22 and everyone keeps brawling until Ryback is in at #23.
Ryback busts out everyone with spinebusters as JBL incorrectly says Lex Luger is the only man to win the Rumble but never win the WWE Title (Duggan). The fans chant for CM Punk but get Kane at #24, giving us Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Big E., Swagger, Ryback and Kane. Dean Ambrose wakes the crowd up again at #25 and goes right for Wyatt. We get more brawling around the ropes until Titus O’Neil is in at #26 and is dumped in about thirty seconds (counting intro) by Reigns and Rusev.
Ambrose dropkicks Wyatt up against the ropes and Bad News Barrett gets lucky #27. The ring is getting full but no one is in any real danger of being eliminated. Cesaro is in at #28 and joins the fray. Rusev sends Big E. to the apron and then kicks him out to clear the ring a bit. Big Show is in at #29 and everyone stops to stare him down. They all gang up on him but Show shoves everyone down as Kane chokeslams Ambrose. Show does the same to Reigns before the monsters dump Ryback with ease.
Swagger is dumped by the power team as well, tying Kane for the all time record at 39 eliminations. Dolph Ziggler is in at #30, giving us a final group of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler. Dolph has to fight out of the chokeslam from Big Show and dumps Barrett. Cesaro swings Dolph around and gets him to the apron, only to be pulled out for the elimination. Ziggler goes up top and dives right into the KO Punch, allowing Kane and Show to easily dump him, giving Kane the all time eliminations record.
Big Show KO’s Wyatt and dumps him as well, leaving us with Ambrose, Reigns, Big Show and Kane as the final four. Reigns is bleeding from the side of the mouth as the brawl is on. The Shield fights out of a double chokeslam but Ambrose’s rebound clothesline has almost no effect on Show. Reigns knocks Show down and the fans just are not happy. Big Show and Kane double team Roman though before a chokeslam is enough to get rid of Ambrose.
So it’s Kane and Big Show vs. Reigns and the fans are LIVID. Reigns gets sent to the apron but Show tries to dump Kane, triggering a fight that has been going on for over fifteen years now. Reigns sneaks up from behind them and eliminates both guys to go to Wrestlemania at 57:23.
Rating: D+. I’m surprised by this but I really shouldn’t be. They actually went with Reigns vs. the giants to end the Royal Rumble? This match felt like a big tease from the company as they were setting up Wyatt, Cesaro, Rusev, Ambrose and Ziggler for this big showdown but then snatched it away to go with Kane and Big Show as the big monsters. That’s really what they think is the smart idea? And you know we’re getting Reigns vs. Big Show at Fast Lane, probably without Big Show doing a job for him because he doesn’t get pinned you see.
As for the rest of the match…..yeah I liked it, but man alive it was obvious where they were going with about twenty minutes to go. Bryan going out that early is a waste, though I’m fine with him not winning it. He had his big moment last year and it would be foolish to try and recreate it. Bryan can get the title later on in his other big moment and that’s all he needs to do.
The returns were fine but there was no big surprise at the end (that’s fine), and Reigns was just so obvious as a winner. Also, the commentary was getting REALLY annoying with all their stats, some of which just didn’t make sense. I didn’t hate this match, but Reigns is getting wedged into a spot he’s just not ready for whatsoever. Wrestlemania better have an amazing undercard, because Reigns vs. Lesnar is not going to cut it on top.
Post match Kane and Big Show destroy Reigns until The Rock makes a surprise run in for the save. House is cleaned but Rusev is back in! He was never officially elimianted…..so Reigns throws him out to officially win about three minutes after he won in the first place. Again, more teasing.
The Authority comes out as Rock poses with Reigns before letting Reigns point at the sign to end the show.
Reigns is in the studio for a live interview. After a quick question about how amazing last night was, Byron Saxton asks him what he thinks when people say he isn’t ready. Reigns tells a story of his father Sika throwing him in the pool at the YMCA when he wasn’t ready. When he went under, he scratched and clawed his way up and that’s how he learned how to swim, even though he wasn’t ready. As for the crowd last night, yeah he was hoping for a warmer reception but those people paid their money and can say what they want.
Reigns doesn’t know if he’s been handpicked as the next guy, but if he has, it’s an opportunity. He has to lace up his boots and get in that ring by himself to grasp the opportunity. After the match last night, the Rock came down to help him because Rock is family. Reigns hasn’t mentioned that Rock is his family too often but now he goes into the Samoan family tree. The WWE put food on his table when he was a kid and now he wants to thank them by meeting Brock Lesnar face to face both at Wrestlemania, but here tonight.
This was a good performance from Reigns as he sounded FAR more natural here and you could tell he wasn’t reading from a cheesy script. It’s interesting that they’re addressing all the big questions being asked about him instead of just going with whatever lame story they had. I’m not saying it’s going to save things but it’s more interesting than what it sounded like we were getting.
From last night on the post show, Cena was doing an interview when Rusev charged in and took the microphone from him. They got in each other’s faces and the match is on for Fast Lane. Cole acknowledges that it was going to be at Wrestlemania but they’re moving it up.
We look back at Sting returning to help Cena win the main event last week. HHH will call out Sting at Fast Lane.
We get the announcement for the latest inductee into the Hall of Fame: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Some wrestlers do some Arnold impressions. Ryback is actually appropriate as he played a Terminator character in OVW, complete with the Terminator theme as his music.
Dean Ambrose is walking in the snow and comes inside. After a break, Dean is messing with the heater and says it isn’t even that cold here. This morning, he walked through a blizzard and hitchhiked all the way here, got in a fight on a gas station, stole some hiking boots and got here. It’s not unlike the Road to Wrestlemania because he loves dangerous conditions. No matter who or what is in front of him, he’s going to make it to Wrestlemania. He goes off to find out if anyone has any posters of him around here.
The next sitdown interview is with Daniel Bryan, who recaps the start of the YES Movement and his rise to the top of the company, followed by being put out of action by Kane. He feels like he let down the fans because they had supported him to get where he was. It feels like he has to win the title again, just for the people. As for being eliminated early last night, he went into the match thinking that it was the perfect opportunity to go to face the ultimate dragon and get his title back.
But he failed and Reigns rose up and made the most of the situation. Now Bryan never had WWE feed him as a kid but he’s sure Reigns can have a great match at Wrestlemania and do the company proud. He’s going to end Kane in the casket match on Thursday and move on to become champion. This was definitely the weakest of the interviews so far, mainly because Bryan vs. Kane again interests absolutely no one.
Reigns and Lesnar have their big sitdown meeting but Heyman takes over the questions. He’s known Reigns’ family longer than Reigns has known them, all the way back to when he (Heyman) was a kid. He took Yokozuna’s first publicity pictures and managed Rikishi before he was Rikishi, and saw Rikishi’s kids, now known as the Usos, messing around in the ring before a WCW show. Heyman knew Reigns as a boy in Pensacola when his father was wrestling down there.
Paul also knows the Rock, but more importantly, the Rock knows Brock Lesnar. Back in 2002, the Rock ruled the roost around here, but then he met Brock Lesnar. Now Reigns wants to be the next big thing, just like Lesnar was back in 2002. However, that’s not going to happen. The Rock never asked for a rematch with Brock Lesnar because just one match was enough for him. That’s what Rock never told Reigns, because he doesn’t want Reigns to know the truth. Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1, so how is Roman going to handle disappointing his family when he loses at Wrestlemania because he can’t beat Brock?
Reigns stares Heyman down and says he’ll answer that to Brock’s face. He turns to face the champ and says he knows what he signed up for, but Brock doesn’t know what he signed up for. Roman is going to take the title at Wrestlemania, but if he can’t, he’s going to take a piece of Lesnar with him. Lesnar gets right in his face and Reigns stands up. They shake hands and Brock says unlike Heyman, he doesn’t respect Reigns. Roman: “But you will.”
Overall Rating: B. This was exactly the kind of show WWE needed after last night. One of the biggest problems with WWE is they have the most scripted, stuck in a rut feeling to them. Instead, this felt completely different and allowed them to slow down rather than cramming everything into three hours with all the WACKY COMEDY and twenty minute promos all over the place. This show was far more entertaining than I was expecting and gave me new hope for the future.
The Lesnar vs. Reigns stuff was absolutely mind blowing with both guys more than holding their own under Heyman’s masterful direction. Reigns kept this simple and sounded like a gladiator with short lines instead of doing all the scripted nonsense. A simple story about learning to swim made me care about him more than a year and a half of Shield matches. Overall, this was a great show and exactly what WWE needed. It’s also amazing how much better last night’s results feel when you get away from the dull Rumble. That’s a great sign for the future.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Royal Rumble 2013 Date: January 27, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 13,00
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
This show was only a year ago and I can barely remember anything about it. Aside from the Rumble the big matches are the Rock challenging CM Punk for the WWE Title in the most obvious ending ever and Alberto Del Rio defending his newly won World Heavyweight Championship against Big Show in a last man standing match. Other than that we’ve only got HELL NO vs. the Rhodes Scholars to complete the card. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: US Title: The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro
Cesaro is defending. This is just after Flair passed the Figure Four to Miz, starting the worst period of his career. Miz grabs a headlock to start and gets two off an elbow to the jaw. The headlock takes Cesaro down to the mat but he fights up and grabs one of his own. Back up and Miz tries a leapfrog but gets caught in midair with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The champion takes over and cranks on both of Miz’s arms before getting two off a Michinoku Driver.
A hard European uppercut sets up the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the double arm. Back up again and Miz slips out of a slam and hooks the Reality Check for two. There’s the running clothesline in the corner and Miz goes up but hurts his knee on the top rope ax handle. Cesaro gets caught with his feet on the ropes, allowing Miz to get two off a rollup. Antonio misses a running knee in the corner but is still able to roll away from the Figure Four. Cesar takes him to the floor and rams Miz into the metal underneath the ring. Miz is out cold so Cesaro Neutralizes him for the pin to retain.
Rating: D+. Miz just doesn’t work in a lot of these matches and the Figure Four doesn’t work in the slightest. Thankfully he wouldn’t be featured very prominently for a while as there was just nothing to him for the most part. Cesaro still needs to get a push as he’s more talented and marketable than half the roster but instead we get people like Miz.
The opening video is about time passing and how no one has enough. This ties into Punk’s time as champion with Rock saying the reign ends tonight.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
Last man standing match, which is a rematch with the same stipulations from when Alberto won the title a few weeks ago. Del Rio turned the announce table on top of Big Show so Big Show turned it on top of him a few weeks later. Alberto is shown in the back and he runs into Bret Hart for no apparent reason whatsoever. Bret says Alberto reminds him of a Mexican version of himself. Alberto calls Bret a Canadian Del Rio and Ricardo gushes, earning him Bret’s sunglasses. What a bizarre cameo.
Some hard chops have Del Rio in early trouble and a slam gets a five count. Alberto chops away but jumps off the middle rope right into a chop to change control right back. The champion dropkicks the giant’s knee out but the low superkick actually knocks Big Show up from his knees to his feet. A hurricanrana and a seated senton put Big Show down and Alberto gets a breather. It’s amazing how much more interesting Del Rio is by doing this lucha stuff instead of his arm work. The arm stuff is good but this is such a nice change of pace.
Big Show blocks the armbreaker with one arm and slams Del Rio down, sending him outside. Del Rio gets back in as Big Show gets a chair but the champion dropkicks him in the ribs to knock it out of his hands. A series of chair shots (crowd: “SI! SI! SI!”) has Big Show down but Alberto dives into a chokeslam for an eight count. We head outside again with Del Rio getting chopped to the floor with ease. This is a very slow paced match so far.
A pair of low blows puts Big Show down in the aisle but he’s up at nine. Show hits something resembling a DDT on the floor before sending Del Rio into the set. He rips a piece of the set, resembling a light tube, and blasts Del Rio over the back. Since this is WWE there’s a table readily available and Big Show takes the champion on top of the set for a chokeslam through the table. The bump looked awesome but he’s again on his feet at nine.
The beating takes Del Rio back to the ring and Show loads up the WMD. Alberto sees it coming and rolls outside, only to have Big Show throw Ricardo around for fun. Big Show misses a charge through the barricade (clearly heavily padded) for five but a long series of chair shots has him down again. Del Rio crushes the arm between the steps and a chair, but Alberto follows up with a fire extinguisher blast to the face for no apparent reason. Back in and the armbreaker goes on, but Ricardo ups the ante by duct taping Big Show’s legs to the ropes. The giant can’t get up and Alberto retains the title.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but it was very slowly paced and the ending made Del Rio look more clever than tough. It also doesn’t help that the match was the same gimmick they did less than a month ago. Face Alberto was a nice guy but they cut the cord just six months after this. Not bad, but Del Rio winning the title here would have been much better.
Send Slim Jims to the military!
Ziggler isn’t worried about being in the Rumble and AJ threatens Matt Striker with Big E. Langston for implying Ziggler can’t win. Langston does one of the most mind blowing imitations of an annoying reporter while asking Ziggler for his thoughts on the main event. Dolph has little of note to say but no one was hearing him after Big E.’s bit anyway.
Cesaro says he’ll continue the streak of non-Americans winning the Rumble.
The Prime Time Players……WE’RE GETTING RUMBLE PROMOS!!!! Anyway they say anyone that thinks they’ll eliminate either of them is getting a penalty flag.
Orton says he’s perfect for the Rumble because it’s every man for himself.
Cena is ready for the Rumble because it means he can be champion again.
Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett says he’ll restore credibility to the Rumble.
Sheamus says he won the Rumble last year and he’ll do it again tonight.
Ryback isn’t any catchphrase and he doesn’t eat Fruity Pebbles, but he’ll see food every 90 seconds. Feed him more.
We recap Miz vs. Cesaro on the pre-show.
Tag Titles: HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars
The Scholars are challenging. Cody kicks Bryan in the ribs as Cole references Queen lyrics. Bryan spins out of a wristlock and the fans chant for Cody’s mustache. Cody’s leapfrog is countered into a surfboard and it’s off to Kane for a low dropkick and a two count. Rhodes scores with a dropkick of his own and drives Kane into the corner for the tag off to Sandow. Kane easily powers Sandow into the corner because, you know, he’s Damien Sandow and it’s off to Bryan for the YES Kicks.
JBL rants about Cole and Lawler hugging as Kane kicks Sandow in the face, knocking him out to the floor. The FLYING GOAT takes out the challengers but Cody low bridges Bryan to the floor to take over. Back in and a half crab has Daniel in trouble but he reverses into a small package to escape. Damien comes in again and drops an elbow for two before dropping the Wind-Up Elbow.
After some knees to the back it’s Cody in again but he charges into a boot in the corner. Sandow breaks up a hot tag attempt and Cody puts Bryan in an over the shoulder backbreaker. Daniel slides down to escape and makes the tag to Kane. Sandow is tossed around like a rag doll but a Cody distraction prevents the top rope clothesline. Kane grabs both guys by the throat and Bryan tags himself in. The Scholars double suplex Kane but Bryan shoves Cody into a chokeslam and Daniel YES Locks Sandow to retain.
Rating: C. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw around this time which means it was fine. The Scholars were a nice idea for a team but it was clear that they had no chance at this point given how low their individual stocks were. Kane and Bryan gelled perfectly well as a team and Bryan would get far bigger very soon.
Rumble By The Numbers which I’ve typed many times already.
HELL NO celebrates in the back when Vickie Guerrero comes up and gives them their Rumble numbers. Daniel shows Kane his but Kane won’t show Bryan.
We look at the Royal Rumble Fan Fest which is another name for Axxess. This included a tournament of NXT wrestlers for a spot in the Rumble, won by Bo Dallas.
Royal Rumble
Ziggler is #1 which he picked (the other option was #2) after winning a Beat the Clock Challenge on Raw. Dolph says he’ll win and doesn’t care who he faces first, bringing out a returning Chris Jericho at #2. This was a complete shock and the roof is blown off the building. Also remember that Ziggler beat Jericho to send him out of the company to give us some history. The clock is at 90 seconds between entrants this year.
Jericho is quickly sent to the apron but comes back with a top rope ax handle. Now it’s Dolph on the apron as the fans tell Jericho he still has it. When did Jericho ever come close to losing it? A superplex brings Ziggler back into the ring and Cody Rhodes is in at #3. Jericho hammers away on him but Ziggler gets in a cheap shot as the double teaming begins. Chris knocks Ziggler down and puts Cody in the Walls but Dolph makes the save.
Dolph catapults Jericho throat first into the bottom rope as Kofi Kingston is in at #4. Kofi immediately speeds things up and pounds away on Cody but can’t hit Ziggy with Trouble in Paradise. Ziggler is thrown to the apron and all four guys try to eliminate each other at the same time in the same spot. Santino Marella is #5 and he sends all four to the apron before loading up the Cobra. Everybody is back in and even though Santino takes Kofi down with the sock, it’s Cody backdropping Marella out.
Drew McIntyre of 3MB is #6 and gets to fight Kofi as everyone else takes a breather. Back up and it’s time to lay on the ropes while trying to eliminate people. Jericho is sent over the ropes but he keeps his feet off the ground and gets back in. Titus O’Neil is in at #7 to add some power, including taking Cody and Kofi down with a double clothesline. Cole finally tells us that the bark is a shout out to his fraternity from Florida. Thank you for explaining that to us after two years.
Jericho throws out McIntyre but can’t do the same to Ziggler as Goldust is #8. Cody gets ready for the showdown and the fans are WAY into this. They trade the kneeling uppercuts and Goldie stomps on Cody for a bit. The fans chant for Goldust and it’s David Otunga (remember him?) is in at #9. The announcers ignore the match to talk about the commentators being in the Rumble last year as people start to pair off.
Nothing much happens until Heath Slater is in at #10. That gives us Ziggler, Jericho, Rhodes, Kingston, O’Neil, Goldust, Otunga and Slater at the moment. Slater fires off right hands to Kofi as Jericho calls spots to Ziggler. Dolph gets stuck on the apron again and Sheamus is #11 to clear out some bodies. He destroys everyone with his usual stuff before sending Titus to the apron for the ten forearms. Otunga is thrown onto Titus to get rid of O’Neil before ten forearms and a Brogue Kick get rid of the lawyer. Tensai, still the Japanese lunkhead, is #12.
Everybody goes after Tensai to make a big cluster in the corner. That goes nowhere at all so Brodus Clay comes in at #13. We get a Tons of Funk preview before Goldust backdrops Cody to the apron, only to get pulled to the apron as well. Cody gets back in and sends Goldust into the post for the elimination and a lot of booing. Rey Mysterio is #14 to make the crowd happy again. Ziggler and Jericho get quick 619s and the top rope splash crushes Jericho. Things slow down a bit until we reach the halfway point with Darren Young at #15.
A bunch of guys join forces to dump Brodus and Kofi puts out Tensai a few seconds later. Now we get to the part that everybody was waiting on as Kofi is knocked off the apron, only to land on Tensai’s back. He jumps onto the announcers’ table as he tries to figure this out. Why he doesn’t just jump two feet to get onto the steps is beyond me. Bo Dallas is #16 as this is going on. Instead of the steps, Kofi gets JBL’s office chair and pogos his way back to the ring. Kingston pulls Darren out of the ring but gets caught with the Disaster Kick for the elimination before he can get back inside.
Godfather gives us the nostalgia pop at #17 and is dropkicked out by Ziggler four seconds later. He seems ok with that and leaves with his women. The whole point was the entrance anyway so I have no issue with that. Wade Barrett is in at #18 as the ring is getting too full. Everything slows down again and John Cena is #19 to clear out some tired people. Everybody gets ready for him so Cena comes a charging. John fights them all off and throws out Slater and Cody but can’t dump Jericho.
Damien Sandow is #20, giving us Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Mysterio, Dallas, Barrett, Cena and Sandow. Mysteiro and Barrett fight to the apron and a big forearm puts Rey out. Sheamus goes right after Wade as Jericho tries to put Cena in the Walls. Daniel Bryan is #21 and fires off kicks to Sandow. Now it’s Barrett getting the kicks as everyone else is down. Sheamus and Bryan try to put Jericho out but he slides back in under the ropes.
Antonio Cesaro is in at #22 and gets in a fight with Sheamus as the fans start the dueling Cena chants. Everybody is back up now and Great Khali is #23. It’s chops all around until things calm a bit. Kane comes in at #24 to fire things up again (get it?) but the ring is too full. It gets even worse with Zach Ryder coming in at #25 but HELL NO dumps Khali. Bryan dumps Kane but Cesaro dumps Bryan into Kane’s arms. Daniel: YES! Kane shouts no and drops Bryan for the elimination in a funny bit.
Randy Orton is #26 and it’s powerslams all around. Ziggler and Dallas get a double Elevated DDT and it’s an RKO for Ryder, followed by the elimination. Jinder Mahal gets lucky #27 as Cesaro lifts Cena up, only to be eliminated himself. Ziggler gets launched to the ropes but slides back in as Miz is #28. He gets in a fight with Cesaro in the aisle and limps into the ring to sell the ankle injury from earlier. Sheamus dumps Mahal and Sin Cara is #29.
Cara tries an enziguri on Ziggler which misses by four inches but Ziggler sells it anyway. Bo Dallas pulls Barrett out in an elimination that should have led further than it did. Miz sends Jericho to the apron as Barrett pulls Dallas out from the floor. Ryback is #30 to give us a final grouping of Ryback, Ziggler, Jericho, Sheamus, Cena, Sandow, Orton, Miz and Sin Cara. Damien is out first and Sin Cara quickly follows. Miz tries to power Ryback out and is tossed as well to get us down to six. Jericho is somehow still alive and hits a Lionsault on Cena but the springboard dropkick doesn’t eliminate Sheamus.
Ziggler backdrops Jericho to the apron and superkicks him out (missed as well but he’s spent at this point) but walks into an RKO. There’s one for Cena as well and Sheamus gets the third. That leaves Ryback to fight Orton but the monster gets taken down with an Elevated DDT. Ryback fights off the RKO and clotheslines Randy out to get us down to four. Ziggler DDTs Cena down but a Brogue Kick puts Dolph on the floor.
It’s Sheamus, Ryback and Cena with Ryback getting double suplexed down. Cena and Sheamus make things serious by LOOKING AT THE SIGN. John takes over but Ryback runs him over with a clothesline. Sheamus escapes the Shell Shock, looks at the sign, and hits White Noise on Ryback. The Brogue Kick is countered with a backdrop to eliminate Sheamus and we’re down to two.
They LOOK AT THE SIGN and do their signature taunts before Ryback spinebusters Cena down. The Meathook is countered into the STF and Ryback passes out, leaving him as dead weight. Ryback fights out of the corner and Cena’s head into the mat. He loads up a powerslam but Cena slips out the back and shoves Ryback out for the win and title shot at Wrestlemania.
Rating: B. It’s a good but not great Rumble. That being said, there was almost no other option to win here, even though it set up the rematch that no one wanted to see. There’s certainly some good stuff in it and there were no down spots, but you would expect more big moments than we got here.
Coming Home ad for Wrestlemania. That still should have been Wrestlemania XXX.
We recap CM Punk vs. The Rock. It’s a basic story: Punk has been champion for 434 days and Rock is getting a title shot because he’s the Rock, which was kind of a lame reason, especially when the shot was announced six months ago. That began a countdown that made everything Punk did meaningless, because there was no way it would be anyone but Rock taking the belt from him here. Yeah Punk got in some shots on Rock before the match, but this was as much of a layup as you could get. Also if Shield or anyone interferes, Punk is stripped of the title.
Rock, after waiting for them to chant his name, says he isn’t worried about Shield, even though they busted up his lung recently. He goes on a rant about how many hard things he’s been through, but redeems himself a bit by talking about his mom getting cancer but beating it to be here tonight. Punk has said that the people don’t count but Rock says every single one of them count to him. He reaches his hand out to everyone that believes in the Rock so he can get their power, if you smell what he’s cooking.
Raw World Title: The Rock vs. CM Punk
Punk of course has Heyman with him. He charges right into the brawl and actually pounds Rock down into the corner. A quick Rock Bottom is countered but Punk is sent outside. Rock follows him outside and sends the champion into the barricade before loading up the announce table. Punk comes back with a shot to the ribs and puts the table back together in a great bit. Back in and Rock scores with more right hands to knock Punk to the floor again.
Punk is whipped into the barricade one more time but he gets a boot up to stop a charging Bull. He finishes fixing the announce table instead of following up on Rock before dropping Rock ribs first on the barricade. They head inside again for a body vice from CM followed by a knee to the ribs for two. Off to a freaky looking hold where Punk pins Rock’s shoulders down but pulls back on his head to crank on the shoulders and back.
More choking follows and a knee to the back has Rock on the apron, followed by a springboard dropkick to send him outside. Punk tries a top rope ax handle to take Rock down but injures his knee in the process. Rock scores with some kicks to the knee but the champion easily sends him out to the floor to stop the comeback. Back in and Punk misses the springboard clothesline and reinjures the knee, giving Rock his opening.
A DDT gets one on Punk but he fights out of the Rock Bottom. The GTS is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice in a nice sequence. Rock rolls over into a cradle, forcing Punk to let go of the hold. Back up and tries the Rock Bottom but Punk counters into a rollup for two, only to be countered into a low seated Sharpshooter. Punk is next to the rope so naturally he takes thirty seconds to get the break.
Rock takes him to the floor and loads up the announce table again. They fight on top but Rock counters a GTS attempt into what was supposed to be a Rock Bottom but was really more like the table collapsing with Rock’s arm around Punk’s chest. Rock comes up holding his knee and both guys make it back in at an eight count. Punk scores with a high kick but both guys are down.
Back up and Rock wins a slugout before scoring with the spinebuster. He loads up the People’s Elbow and there go the lights. Cole can see Shield pulling Rock to the floor and powerbombing him through the table. The lights come back up and Rock is laid out as the referee has no idea what’s going on. The announcers try to tell Mike Chioda what happened and Punk feigns innocence.
He throws Rock back in for the pin and celebrates but here’s Vince to say Punk is stripped of the title for the interference. Rock says no and to restart the match. The bell rings again and Punk stomps away as JBL threatens to put Cole through a table for playing cheerleader. The Macho Elbow gets two but the GTS is countered into a spinebuster, setting up the People’s Elbow to end Punk’s reign.
Rating: B. It’s another good match but it felt like they were dancing around for twenty three minutes before we got to the obvious ending. The Shield stuff was a decent fake out but it really didn’t need to be there. Rock winning was obvious though and that really put a ceiling on how high this was going to get.
Rock celebrates for about three minutes to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Yeah it’s a good show overall, but the major problem is obvious: there was no other possibly ending other than Rock vs. Cena at Wrestlemania 29 and almost everyone knew it. The show is definitely entertaining and actually really good at times, but it was so telegraphed up and down the card that it offers almost no excitement at all, even on the initial viewing. Still though, worth checking out if you have nothing else to do.
Ratings Comparison
Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
Original: B
Redo: C-
HELL NO vs. Rhodes Scholars
Original: C
Redo: C
Royal Rumble
Original: C+
Redo: B
The Rock vs. CM Punk
Original: B
Redo: B
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
That original overall rating is too high for what I gave everything else. Also I think the original last man standing match rating is closer to the accurate one. It just didn’t hold up as well on a second viewing, but it was good.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: January 12, 2015
Raw was back in New Orleans for the first time since the night after Wrestlemania last year, meaning the fans are going to be hot all night. The big story is the return of Daniel Bryan and how serious he seems to be about winning the Rumble and main eventing Wrestlemania again. The key thing is this gives us a new option other than Reigns for the top spot, which is far more interesting than just having the long choice. Let’s get to it.
To the shock of no one paying attention, we opened with a long promo between Cena and the Authority, talking about things that happened back at Survivor Series. Basically Cena thinks the Authority sucks (and he has a HASHTAG for it) and he’s going to win the WWE Title to get Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler their jobs back. See, he’s going to win the title and then leave, because that’s going to make the Authority miss him. I’m not sure if this was supposed to be a jab at Lesnar, but it came off as more of a stupid idea than anything else.
HHH and Stephanie came out and offered Cena a deal: the trio can have their jobs back if Cena can beat Rollins in a lumberjack match right now. So to recap, in the span of a month, Cena and Rollins have had a regular match, a tables match, a (really good) cage match and a lumberjack match.
In a logical world, that should be months and months of matches, not a single month. It shows how WWE feels desperate to keep people watching with quick fixes instead of setting this stuff up. As usual, I’ll point you to NXT. You know what you don’t see a lot of there? Gimmick matches. The gimmick matches, when they happen, are to blow off a feud. Neville fought Dallas in a ladder match and you see a few 2/3 falls matches in there. They let the regular stories build up to the gimmicks instead of just throwing them all out there at once, which makes them mean more.
In NXT, you hear the words “ladder match” and gasp because it’s something very rare and therefore special. In WWE you hear the words ladder match and roll your eyes because they have at least three a year between MITB and TLC. The same is true of cage matches, which happen WAY too often on Raw and with almost no build.
That’s another issue with the lumberjack match on Monday: they had all of five minutes’ notice. How are the fans that might want to see it supposed to know? Hope that they read Twitter? Is that really what you’re hoping for? It’s a bad idea and amazingly enough, it doesn’t seem to be anything successful.
As for the match itself, of course Rollins won with interference. It was entertaining enough and a good match, but I’m tired of seeing them fight. You know they’re just waiting on a reason to bring the trio back and I’d be shocked if they weren’t in the Rumble, making this entire storyline a waste of time. You know, like so many other things you see in WWE anymore, which is really getting old.
Due to their comments about the trio being fired on Smackdown, Stephanie punished the Usos by making Naomi wrestle with an arm tied behind her and Ambrose has to see a psychiatrist or he’s out of the Rumble. Simple idea, but the Naomi thing sounds destined to fall flat.
Dean’s evaluation was of course a comedy segment with him freaking out over the doctor’s clock, calling Stephanie a HO in a funny bit and switching roles with the doctor. Other than the Stephanie bit, there really wasn’t much to see in this and I really wish they had done something more with it. It’s a very good sign that Dean is still getting a focus, even though he was completely and totally buried by losing in pay per view main events right? That’s how it works no?
The New Day beat Kidd and Cesaro in an average match. I really like Kidd and Cesaro as a team, even though they see to be little more than jobbers at this point. Why are they jobbers you ask? It’s because that’s the role they were given when the team was put together and screw you if you think they should rise up the card, because that’s the role they’re given and nothing is going to change that. That seems to be the mentality in WWE way too often and unfortunately it rarely changes.
Big Show came out, talked about being an awesome giant and ran away from Reigns and his horrible scripted promos. They’ve been doing this FOREVER now and I really hope they blow this off at the Rumble instead of taking it all the way out to Fast Lane. As for Reigns’ promos, his delivery is fine but Steve Austin on his best day would have trouble getting over this horrible material.
Now the interesting part for Reigns came when he had a really entertaining match against Luke Harper. The key here though was Harper, who looked absolutely awesome. The stuff that he can do at his size is incredible and he looks like one of the best guys on the roster today. Why can’t he and Reigns be having a great feud and beat the tar out of each other for weeks on end? Instead we have Big Show because he was a big deal like, years ago. I really hope Harper gets a push in the future because he’s more than earned it at this point.
Mizdow reveals that he’s been filming Miz in his home, much to Miz’s chagrin. They need to split them eventually and this might work. As usual, I like that it’s something interesting and unique to the characters. It’s actual writing for the characters instead of writing for the story and putting the characters in. Those are two very, very different things. One is good and the other is what makes wrestling hard to sit through.
Alicia Fox beat Naomi in a dull match with Naomi’s arm tied behind her back. See, it’s Total Divas AND the Authority stories combined! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY TOP THIS???
Lesnar and Heyman came out and said they’re awesome. This is basically a way to say Lesnar is coming for Rollins too. I really don’t care about Lesnar at this point because he’s been gone for so long and it’s ruined so much of the main event scene.
Miz beat Jey Uso to continue a feud that is long since over. Once the Naomi Goes Hollywood stuff went away, the feud died in a hurry.
Daniel Bryan and Stephanie (because she isn’t on this show enough) came out and did their usual thing. They really are just doing the same story over again….and I’m not sure how to feel about that. If Bryan wins again, it’s Bret Hart winning at Wrestlemania X. If Bryan doesn’t get there……I’m really interested to see where he goes from there. I’d be fine seeing him win though. Kane came out and got beaten up for his efforts, setting up their match on Smackdown.
Now we get to the part of the show I liked best. Rollins was in the back when Heyman and Lesnar came up to him. Lesnar simply threatened him and Rollins didn’t blink. Instead he looked Lesnar in the eye said he’s the future. Heyman was a key here as he sounded worried and offered an alliance to take out Cena. Seth stood there and the camera stayed on their faces the whole time for a great visual.
For the first time ever, I completely buy Rollins as a main event player, but the key here is he has the resume to back it up. Look back to Royal Rumble 2008 when Jeff Hardy was pushed against Randy Orton. That entire show was built around the idea that Hardy could win and it sold like nothing had in years.
However, at the end of the day, it was all hype because Hardy didn’t have the resume to be a believable World Champion. Now though, Rollins has both the resume and the skill to take the title at the Rumble and that little sliver of a chance makes the whole thing that much more interesting. This felt like a turning point and it couldn’t come at a better time.
Brie Bella beat Paige in a nothing match.
Bray Wyatt is in the Rumble and Randy Savage is in the Hall of Fame. Guess which one of these things gave me the biggest and most genuine smile I’ve had in wrestling in years.
Ascension destroyed more jobbers.
Rusev beat Ambrose via referee stoppage. Again, a loss due to an existing knee injury isn’t going to cripple Ambrose’s push and I continue to chuckle when people insist he’s being shoved down the card.
The Authority moderated a three way contract signing between Lesnar, Rollins and Cena. Again, Seth stood toe to toe with both of them and looked on their level. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that Rollins has this kind of star power already. I’ll give you two guesses how this went. Thankfully it was Seth standing tall.
Oh yeah we’re in Rumble season and it’s working just as it’s supposed to. Rollins being added to that title match has made the whole thing feel so much more interesting and fresh, which is exactly what it’s been missing. I’m not sure who is coming out of that match with the title but I really want to see where it goes. The same is true of the Rumble itself, as suddenly it’s gone from the Roman Reigns show to “can Bryan do it again?” Adding something to the mix makes things that much better.
On the other hand you have the midcard, where things are stagnant again. Big Show vs. Reigns, Usos vs. Miz/Mizdow, Mizdow going solo, Rusev beating up various people and winning or escaping every time and Total Divas in general have all felt like they’ve been going on for months and it’s really hard to care at this point. Hopefully things shake up in the Rumble and it couldn’t happen at a at a better time. This week was a good show, mainly because they’re adding stuff into the main event scene to freshen it up.
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