Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2007: The Reveal

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2007
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for the big reveal as this week will see the reveal of Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. This is the kind of story that feels like it should be a huge moment, with Mr. Kennedy feeling like the likely surprise, but that pesky steroids suspension seems to be throwing a wrench into the plans. That should open up a new door too, so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We’re starting fast because here is Vince McMahon, with Coach, to get things going. Vince recaps the story, saying that he has an illegitimate son and that he is a “WWO” (Vince: “Let me try that again.”) superstar. Vince blames the mother for causing all of these problems before informing the fans that Coach DOES NOT suck. The only thing that makes Vince feel better is that his son isn’t from Green Bay, like Mr. Kennedy, who is on the current WWE Magazine. Vince happens to have a copy, which he has Coach rip up.

Enough of that though, as Vince wants to know who his son is, which brings out Great Khali. Runjin Singh translates for Great Khali, who said that “things are looking up” must mean him and he would be proud to be called The Great McMahon. Cue JBL to interrupt to talk about how he and Vince both love money. JBL: “Put Big Gulp on a leash.” Even in this market, he can guarantee and things are looking up. Vince owns wrestling and JBL is a wrestling god. They even go to the same barber!

He would love to be John Bradshaw McMahon but here is Jeff Hardy to interrupt this time. Coach: “What are you doing out here?” Jeff: “I’m not really sure.” Jeff thinks “things are looking up” might mean him diving off the ladder, but he certainly hopes he isn’t the son. JBL yells about Hardy and Khali’s hair, but here is Mr. Johnson, the son’s mother’s lawyer.

Vince goes into a rant about how much he hates attorneys before being told his son will be revealed at some point tonight. For now, the only thing Johnson will reveal is that Vince’s son is NOT Jeff Hardy. Jeff: “PRAISE THE LORD YEAH!” That celebration earns Jeff a singles match with Great Khali later tonight.

We see some photos of the South African tour, including Paul London and Brian Kendrick winning the Tag Team Titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, only to lose them back three days later.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade

Brian Kendrick and Trevor Murdoch are here too. Cade headlocks him down to start so London pops up with a hurricanrana. A belly to back suplex drops London right back down and we hit the neck crank. That doesn’t last long either as London is up with a springboard missile dropkick. Murdoch tries to offer a distraction….but it lets Kendrick come in for Sliced Bread. London adds the running shooting star press for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and it was a way to bridge the feud to Sunday. I like the title switches on the tour as it gave this feud a bit of life, as otherwise it was just London and Kendrick getting another title shot. You can only get so far when there is no chance of a title switch and now they gave the thing a bit more interest.

We recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s dad two weeks ago, sending Cena over the edge with an attack on William Regal last week. As a result, Cena is barred from the building this week.

Coach tells Vince McMahon that William Regal is doing better but has a lot of recovering to do. As a result, Coach has banned John Cena from the building tonight, which Vince doesn’t like. Coach has another idea though, as he brings in the man who the fans have voted as the second most likely star to be Vince’s son: Stevie Richards! Vince cracks up laughing and sends Stevie away before asking Coach who was #1 in the audience vote. That would be HHH, which doesn’t sit well with Vince.

We look back at HHH beating up Carlito and REALLY beating up Umaga.

Carlito is ready to destroy HHH on Sunday at Unforgiven. As for tonight, Carlito is full of surprises.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Carlito is at ringside. HHH wins an early slugout and sends him shoulder first into the post. It works so well that HHH does it again before throwing Shelton into Carlito. We take a break and come back with HHH fighting out of a chinlock but getting DDTed for two. The chinlock goes on again so HHH fights up again, only to get caught with the spinning clothesline from the top. HHH’s standing clothesline connects to put both of them down for a breather. Back up and HHH hits a spinebuster, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more like the old school Benjamin and that is a very good thing to see. It’s great to have him showing off his offense and he looked like his old self here. That being said, he was little more than cannon fodder for HHH, which isn’t a big surprise. Nice match here, as HHH continues to get back to normal.

Post match Carlito goes after HHH but gets cut off. Cue Coach to say Vince McMahon is sick of HHH being disrespectful. Therefore, Carlito vs. HHH at Unforgiven is now No DQ….for Carlito only.

A car arrives and since it isn’t John Cena’s, he can roll right in.

Here is Randy Orton, with security, for a chat. Orton knows John Cena is watching at home, maybe with his dad. If that is the case, he needs to turn the volume down because his dad’s head must be throbbing. This Sunday at Unforgiven, it is one year since Cena won the WWE Title. Orton is in Cena’s head though and he is going to use that opening to take Cena down. Cue Cena through the crowd to get his hands on Orton but security holds him back so Orton can escape.

In the back, Vince McMahon yells at Coach for not keeping Cena out. Cue security, who still can’t hold Cena back. Cena gets in Vince’s face and says, as a man, that he knows what is happening to Orton at Unforgiven. Orton is going to feel pain and vengeance in his bones for Cena’s father. That is something even Vince can understand, and with that, Cena leaves.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Candice Michelle is on commentary. Mickie flips out of an early snapmare attempt but gets whipped into the corner. That means a handspring elbow connects to give Jillian two as Candice talks about facing Beth Phoenix. Jillian pulls her down hard out of the corner and seems to rub Mickie’s face into her chest. Apparently it wakes Mickie up enough to kick Jillian in the head for the pin.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take both of them out so Candice runs in for the failed save attempt.

Sandman vs. Santino Marella

Before the match, Santino mourns the loss of Luciano Pavarotti, but at least he passed away before he had to see Steve Austin in the Condemned. Santino doesn’t understand this lack of culture but Sandman’s entrance cuts him off. Once Sandman gets rid of the kendo stick, Santino starts pounding him down and goes after the leg. A splash hits raised knees though and Sandman knocks him outside. That means a big dive (there’s a surprise) from Sandman but Marella uses the kendo stick for the DQ.

Post match Santino tries to break the stick over his own knee but hurts himself. Sandman gets the cage to chase him off.

Post break Maria is talking to Ron Simmons about Santino being so different lately. She thinks they might need to split up but here is Santino to jump Simmons. Santino even does Simmons’ catchphrase, which should signal his doom.

The Diva Search is coming back. Great. We get the first look at the finalists, including Eve Torres, Taryn Terrell and Lena Yada.

Unforgiven rundown.

Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title. Khali throws him into the corner to start for the elbow to the face. The Whisper in the Wind is knocked away and Khali hits a big boot. The Vice Grip finishes Hardy in a hurry. Your Intercontinental Champion everyone.

Post match here is Batista to spear Khali down without much effort.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for the big reveal, with the male roster surrounding the ring as well. HHH comes out last and Vince isn’t exactly pleased. Vince knows that one of these men is his son and wants to know who gets to be a McMahon. He wants to know who it is right now but here is Mr. Johnson on the Titantron. In accordance with his client’s wishes, he is going to eliminate some of the possible names.

First up, the son is not extreme, meaning ECW is out. Vince: “Thank God it’s not Balls Mahoney.” The son also has a fondness for gold, meaning he is a current or former champion. Next up is that the son’s skin is fair, which Vince (rather rapidly) points out means he is Caucasian. Vince has everyone left get in the ring, as he is told that the son’s hair is fair as well.

That leaves us with Sandman, JBL, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch and HHH, though the fans want Kennedy (not here). Vince shoots that down before giving us the next clue: “Individual.” That takes Vince some time to figure out but it means he isn’t a tag wrestler. The final clue: the son loves to play the game.

That seems to leave HHH, who isn’t happy either. Vince says this isn’t right, with Johnson agreeing. The son loves to play games, such as hide and seek or marbles….because it’s HORNSWOGGLE! HHH nearly falls over in laughter as Hornswoggle pops out, grabs Vince’s leg, and puts his hat on Vince’s head to end the show.

So there’s your big reveal. After several weeks, we get Hornswoggle as the big gag blowoff, which was disappointing back in the day and it’s disappointing now. This time it isn’t WWE’s fault as the Kennedy suspension blew up what could have been a career making story, but ultimately there is only so much that can be done when the key player is gone. Hornswoggle was a bit funny and there is some good comedy potential, but it feels like it could have been so much more.

Overall Rating: C-. This was ALL about the big angle at the end, with the wrestling being a complete afterthought. That made for a weird show, as Unforgiven took a backseat as well, leaving the pay per view without much of a final push and the big story with a pretty lame resolution. Again, it isn’t WWE’s fault this time, but it is still pretty disappointing.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 3, 2007: Then They Go Away

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2007
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re actually taped this week as WWE is on its way to an international tour next week. Unforgiven is coming up later this month and we need a card, but there are going to be a few people missing. Late last week, a group of wrestlers were suspended for thirty days over connections with Signature Pharmacy, which had been linked to performance enhancing drugs.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As a result, after this week, Charlie Haas, Edge, Gregory Helms, John Morrison, William Regal, Ken Kennedy, Umaga, Sho Funaki, Chris Masters, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are going to be gone until next month. Booker T. was so adamant that he didn’t do anything that he gave notice and is gone. Eugene is gone as well, after not having a prescription for painkillers. In an unrelated note, Cryme Tyme is gone as well, albeit over issues with Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch and yelling at a referee. Things could be rather different for the next few weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton attacking a variety of people, including John Cena’s dad to end last week’s show. In case it wasn’t clear in the first place, of course you know this means war.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and punches Hardy down to start fast. A kick to the face and a headbutt both drop Hardy again and there’s a chest first whip into the corner. Umaga superkicks him off the apron and we take a break. Back with Umaga grabbing the nerve hold and then nailing a Samoan drop.

The middle rope headbutt misses though and Hardy gets a much needed breather. Hardy forearms away and gets two off a baseball slide dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga is back with the swinging Rock Bottom for two of his own. Umaga goes up top but Hardy crotches him down….and gets the very fast pin for the title. Even Hardy is stunned as Umaga kicks him off and out to the floor.

Rating: C. Most of this match was a house show fight until the shock ending. They did a good job of making this feel like a squash until the underdog won off a fluke, giving it almost a Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna Wrestlemania X vibe. Umaga feels like he got caught slipping on a banana peel instead of taking a defeat, which lets him come back as a monster in a month. Hardy getting the title is always a fine way to go though and this was about as logical of a way out as they had.

Post match, Umaga breaks a lot of stuff.

Vince McMahon has a bunch of attorneys with him to deal with his families’ attorneys. Carlito, with a slightly less stupid looking (though still stupid looking) haircut, comes in and gets his singles match with HHH turned into a handicap match with Umaga on his side.

Maria is a bit worried about her match with Beth Phoenix, as set up by Santino Marella. Santino tells her not to worry, because he has something to get off his chest. Oh and he’ll protect her too. Maria doesn’t seem convinced.

William Regal tells a production assistant to send John Cena to him when Cena arrives. Melina pops up and whispers something to Regal about her, ahem, meeting with Vince McMahon. Regal calls her kinky and says she should be ashamed of herself. Stephanie and Linda McMahon show up to glare at Melina. Linda gets in a slap in slow motion and here is Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as first, Santino Marella says that he is going to beat up Ron Simmons as soon as his arm is better. He also calls the city a disgusting dump, but here is Sandman to interrupt. Santino says Sandman is jealous because Santino gets to make love to Maria, while Sandman only has his stick. Sandman canes him in the head and they go up the ramp, leaving Maria alone. This is completely edited off Peacock for whatever reason. As for the match, Beth throws Maria around with no trouble and finishes with a cradle suplex in less than a minute.

Post match, Beth says she is getting her Women’s Title shot at Unforgiven. Candice Michelle has never seen anything like her before and she beats up Maria again for a preview. Cue Candice for the save.

We see the aftermath of Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s father, including a nasty black eye.

Here is William Regal to recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s last week. As a result, Regal has given Orton the night off, but Orton is here via satellite. Orton makes it clear: Cena did this to himself and his father’s blood is on his hands. All Cena had to do was give Orton his rematch for the WWE Title, so does Cena want it now? Want it or not, Regal makes the match for Unforgiven.

Orton hopes Cena’s dad never forgives his son but here is Cena to no music. Cena comes to the ring and promptly beats the daylights out of Regal, including knocking him over the announcers’ table and putting him in the STFU. Referees finally make a late save but Regal is done.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot against Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch, on commentary, at Unforgiven. Kendrick and Haas start things off with Kendrick being in trouble on the technical side. A wristlock works a bit better and it’s London coming in to stay on Haas’ arm. Benjamin comes in for a gorilla press gutbuster to take over on London though and we hit the neck crank. Back up and London rams heads with Haas, allowing the crawling tag over to Kendrick. The fans get into things as Kendrick hits back to back dives on Haas and Benjamin. With Benjamin and London on the floor, Sliced Bread gives Kendrick the fast pin.

Rating: C+. London and Kendrick are valuable people to have on the roster as they can have a good match with anyone while getting the fans behind them. That should set them up as good #1 contenders and the match should be good enough. Haas and Benjamin continue to be fine opponents for anyone, as the tag division is starting to grow again. That being said, I do wonder if London and Kendrick were supposed to be Cryme Tyme.

Post match Cade and Murdoch get in the ring for what seems like some false sportsmanship.

William Regal is in an ambulance as Shane McMahon walks by.

Video on CM Punk, who is challenging for the ECW World Title tomorrow night.

Carlito tries to fire up Umaga by telling him that HHH was laughing at him for losing the Intercontinental Title.

Vince McMahon meets with his lawyers and asks about his money being secure. After seemingly making Coach GM in place of the injured William Regal, Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting he use a defensive strategy.

Here are Jillian Hall and Daivari, with the former saying she isn’t supposed to sing due having her wisdom teeth cut out but she’ll do it anyway! We get some Summer Lovin before it’s time for a tag match. This is also missing from Peacock.

Cody Rhodes/Mickie James vs. Daivari/Jillian Hall

The women start things off, with Jillian telling Mickie to avoid the teeth. Instead Mickie kicks her in the ribs and then in the face so it’s off to the men. Cody armdrags Daivari down into a few armbars but has to fight out of a chinlock. Daivari drops some elbows for two instead and the chinlock goes right back on. That’s broken up as well so Cody puts on a spinning toehold. Jillian tries a save but Mickie cuts her off, leaving Cody to hit a DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case since Cody’s push began, it isn’t about the match itself but rather Cody getting to establish himself. The good thing is that they have mixed it up a little bit, as he may be beating Daivari over and over, at least they are having it in different forms. It isn’t a huge push, but they’re going about it in a smart way.

Carlito/Umaga vs. HHH

Carlito throws the lefts at HHH to start but gets punched down for his efforts. HHH throws him down by the hair and then goes for Umaga but Carlito comes back in. Some double teaming is enough for the quick DQ.

Post match the big beatdown is on but Carlito grabs a chair, which HHH takes away and wrecks both of them (including several shots to Umaga’s head). The sledgehammer is brought in and HHH blasts Umaga in the head to bust him open. A big sledgehammer shot to the back of the head knocks Umaga cold and I’d assume it’ll take about thirty days for him to recover.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here are Vince McMahon and his attorneys to deal with the rest of the family. Vince knows this whole thing is about the money and everyone here wants a handout. Cue Linda McMahon, sans attorneys, to say she is the CEO of WWE so she has her own money. Thanks to Coach bringing all of those women out here to explain that Vince has had so many affairs, she can take him for everything he has. Vince tries to calm things down but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

Vince knows she’s the volatile one but they’ve had some great times together. He has a video for her looking at A Father’s Love (this could go so many different ways from Vince), which is him pummeling Linda and Stephanie over the years. Vince panics because it’s the wrong video, but HHH pops up on screen. HHH swears he had NOTHING to do with that. HHH: “Hi Steph.” That gets a smile from Stephanie, who thinks Vince should step down from his position as Chairman of the Board.

Now it’s Shane McMahon coming out to ask if he’s talking to Vince McMahon his father, or an arm swinging, death faking, egomaniacal lunatic. Shane thinks Vince needs to change in some way because this could all work out. Shane: “I always wanted a brother!” That gets a glare from Stephanie, but Vince says he never had any affairs. He was saying all of those things to make himself feel better and he only cheated on Linda ONE TIME. That was the woman who gave birth to the illegitimate son and Vince feels terrible about it. He gets on his knee to apologize but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy says there are a lot of coincidences between himself and Vince and it just so happens that the son will be revealed next week in his hometown of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Kennedy flat out says he is Vince’s son, which Stephanie doesn’t buy. Hold on though, as Kennedy credits Vince for turning him into a WWE Superstar and then says his name loudly, with the MCMAHON at the end.

Vince hugs him, but here is a guy in a suit to say that he represents the mother of Vince’s illegitimate son. It is NOT Mr. Kennedy (darn that stupid pharmacy), but he does have a clue as to the son’s identity: Things Are Looking Up. Vince wants to know what that means to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a really weird show as the biggest issue came from having to deal with having to wrap up so many people all at once. The Kennedy deal was the big one, as not only is he gone, but now he has lost the spot in what was probably the biggest angle of his career. The rest of the show wasn’t very good either, but I would wonder how many things had to be changed late because of all of the suspensions. Not a good show, though there were some rather unique circumstances.

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 27, 2007: The Old HHH

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,135
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is that John Cena defeated Randy Orton to retain the Raw World Title. That isn’t something I would have bet on and the ending so clean was even more of a surprise. Usually that would mean the end of a feud but that isn’t how things tend to work in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We look at John Cena retaining the Raw World Title over Randy Orton in the Summerslam main event.

Here is Orton to get things going. Orton can’t believe that Cena retained the title at Summerslam but now he wants a rematch. The next time will be different because he is demanding another shot against Cena. Cue Cena, who pauses to hug his dad (uh oh) in the front row. Cena talks about how Orton is making excuses but lost last night. Orton wanted to make a statement, but now Cena has a statement of his own: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Last night, Orton lost and Cena thinks there is someone who made his return and deserves a shot. While he can’t make matches, Cena likes the idea of defending against HHH tonight. Cue William Regal to say Cena won’t be facing either HHH or Orton, because he’ll be facing an imperial man: King Booker. Cue Booker, so Orton tries a quick RKO on Cena but gets shoved away. Orton seethes and leaves after we got to the point more quickly than usual.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy taking him into the corner but getting slapped in the face. Hardy claps the fans into things and gets pummeled in the corner for his efforts. Some knees to the ribs and shots to the back of the head put Hardy down again but he fires off right hands in the corner of his own. A clothesline sends Kennedy outside and Hardy hits the big dive as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy working on a bodyscissors before sending Hardy ribs first into the post. The logic continues with an abdominal stretch before Kennedy drives him back first into the corner. That’s broken up and Hardy hits a quick Whisper in the Wind for a breather. A rollup gets two and there’s the slingshot dropkick in the corner to rock Kennedy again. The Swanton only hits knees though….and here is Umaga to chase Kennedy off and superkick Hardy for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was oddly more about punching and kicking than you might expect, which isn’t usually Hardy’s style. They were getting into more of the rhythm that these two might have been expected to have before Umaga came in to kick Hardy’s head off. That should set up the next title feud and Hardy vs. the monster is something that could work very well. I’m not sure what is next for Kennedy, but he could use something else to do.

We see some clips of HHH returning to beat King Booker last night, with JR’s mic being a bit messed up.

Vince McMahon is on his way to the ring for an announcement on Carlito’s Cabana. Mr. Kennedy comes up and Vince compliments him on his match and says watch out for that Umaga. Kennedy wishes Vince a belated birthday and Vince points out that his middle name is Kennedy as well. This seems to leave Kennedy intrigued.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana with Vince McMahon as the special guest. Vince comes out and pleasantries are exchanged, with Vince saying he is now fifty years old (plus twelve more) and ordering everyone here to answer to him. Cue HHH to interrupt, with the fans going rather coconuts. HHH says Vince is now seventy and needs to worry about going senile.

Worry not though, because HHH is here and he has done some extensive research. He has narrowed the mother of Vince’s son down to four women so here they are. First up we have a woman from Wrestlemania III, who a drunken Vince thought was Aretha Franklin. That would be a rather large woman named Mary, with Vince saying she sang like Aretha that night. Then it’s One Eyed Wendy, who lost her sight in one eye due to Vince, ahem, missing. HHH: “Looks like a hole in one.”

Third is….Carlito’s sister! Vince tells Carlito that they thought he was asleep, but HHH wants to know why the sister (who basically looks like a female Carlito) isn’t spitting. Finally there is someone Vince knew as Frankie but now it’s Frank. Hold on though as Frank is out due to having the wrong physical attributes.

Vince throws them all out and HHH talks about Vince being accused of running an illegal cockfighting ring. This leads to Vince listing the animals he loves, capped off by saying he loves co…and he cuts himself off. Vince leaves so Carlito yells at HHH, including spitting the apple in his face. Destruction ensues and HHH has a seat in the chair. The gag wasn’t that great, but HHH being back and being less serious is a good thing.

The Condemned is on DVD.

World’s Greatest Tag Team/Daivari vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Cody Rhodes

London armbars Daivari to start and hands it off to Kendrick. That doesn’t go as well as it’s off to Haas, who gets caught in Haas’ overhead belly to belly suplex. The now blond Shelton Benjamin (that looks stupid) comes in to suplex Kendrick as well but Daivari misses an elbow. That’s enough to bring in Cody for a powerslam but Haas and Benjamin make the save. Everything breaks down and a high crossbody to Daivari gives Cody the fast pin.

Rating: C. Pretty by the book six man match here but what matters is continuing with Cody’s push. He isn’t getting any major wins or setting the world on fire but he is showing up and winning matches, which is how you make someone feel like a bigger deal. The other five guys just happened to be there, but it is better than having the same match over and over.

Post break Daivari is still in the ring but here is Cryme Tyme to interrupt his usual rant. They steal his head scarf (his “Durka Durka” according to JTG) and want $5 but Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch cut him off this time. Instead, JTG steals Cade’s hat and Cryme Tyme runs off. The hat is tossed into the crowd and chants of MONEY MONEY, YEAH YEAH are on.

Randy Orton storms into Vince McMahon’s office and demands a rematch with John Cena. Vince says not so fast, because Orton has to earn it. Orton storm off.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Or not as Beth jumps her during the entrance and the big beatdown is on. Maria can’t go so no match.

Candice Michelle isn’t scared of Beth Phoenix and will face any challenge. She also isn’t scared of Snitsky, who pops up behind her. Snitsky says it is a challenge for him to limit his destruction.

Vince McMahon is ready to find out his son and thinks he’ll learn the identity next week. William Regal comes in with some information but wants Coach gone before he’ll say anything. Vince says say what it is, with Regal saying that Shane, Stephanie and Linda will be here next weeks, with attorneys. Silent glaring ensues.

King Booker vs. John Cena

Non-title and Queen Sharmell is here too. Cena backs him into the corner to start but Booker comes back with some kicks tot he face. The fisherman’s suplex drops Booker back down and the armbar goes on. Booker has to bail to the ropes to get out of the STFU and we take a break.

Back with Cena making a comeback but Booker hits a spinwheel kick to take him down. Cena has to power out of a chinlock and grabs a spinebuster to plant Booker again. The side slam gives Booker two and he puts on a top wristlock. Cena comes up again so it’s a superkick to give Booker two more. Another comeback is loaded up but Randy Orton runs in to take Cena out for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the most drama as it was a match built around waiting on Orton to come in and jump Cena. They didn’t exactly hide what they were going for earlier today and that isn’t a bad thing. I’m not entirely wild on having Cena face Orton against after beating him clean, but it’s not like the two of them have fought forever and ever or anything.

Post match Orton and Booker beat Cena down. Orton gets all serious and rolls outside, where he grabs Cena’s dad. The Punt leaves Cena Sr. laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They had a bit of a weird show here, as it wasn’t so much about the show they were running but rather the shows that they were setting up. Next week will see all of the McMahons here and that should be the sign for a big step forward in the search for Vince’s son. Other than that, we’re on the way to Unforgiven and that should be a sold Summerslam rematch show. Overall, not a great show here, but the bigger stuff seems to have been officially put on standby.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 20, 2007: They’re Missing A Big Piece

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 20, 2007
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the main event has been set for a long time now. Randy Orton attacked WWE Champion John Cena at Saturday Night’s Main Event so now we need another match set up. There are a few people with nothing else to do so they need to do something with them this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton is already in the ring and Tazz is replacing Jerry Lawler after King Booker took him out last week. Orton tells us to take a good look, because this is the last time you are going to see him without the WWE Title. Last week it was the start of the beginning of the end, which sends us to Orton RKOing John Cena through an open chair on Saturday Night’s Main Event. That was so good that Orton wants to see it in slow motion and from different angles. For some reason he only gets the latter but seems pleased anyway.

That footage is going to replace Hogan slamming Andre and the Montreal Screwjob as the most played clip in WWE history. That move is going to end Cena’s reign, but Orton would understand if Cena couldn’t make it to Summerslam. Rumor has it that he isn’t even here tonight but if Cena is here, he can come forfeit the title right now. Instead, Orton gets Vince McMahon, who doesn’t want to hear about the title match because some woman is out there hiding his illegitimate child.

Today, he found out that the child is male, which means a son of superior genetics. If Vince didn’t know Orton’s dad, he would hope that his son would be someone like him. All his other two kids want his MONEY, which isn’t what Orton would be after. Vince thinks they will find out who his son is here tonight and he hopes the people welcome him. These people are all horrible and want to see Vince taken down, just because some offspring wants his money. Vince hopes his son isn’t like John Cena, who has no dignity…and Cena is in the back.

Cue Cena to the ring, where he says he hopes he isn’t Vince’s son because he would be ashamed for Vince to be his father. With Orton behind the barricade, Cena says Orton has a message of his own because he is here tonight. He’ll be at Summerslam, where he will retain the WWE Title. Vince says Cena might be lying, but if he doesn’t show up, he will be stripped of the championship.

Speaking of stripping, that might bring Vince to Cena’s mother. Vince says he spent a lot of time in new England and he very might have “done your mom”. Cena punches him in the face so Vince and Orton bail together. Hold on though as Vince isn’t going to stand for this. That’s why Cena can face Snitsky, which has Cena looking a bit nervous.. This was a long bunch of talking to set up a main event and reveal that the child is a son.

Rey Mysterio is back on Sunday.

Mickie James/Candice Michelle vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as here is William Regal to say that we will have a Divas battle royal at Summerslam, with the winner facing Candice for the Women’s Title at some point in the future. Mickie and Candice get jumped before the bell and Beth gives Mickie a slingshot suplex. Melina comes in but Mickie slips over and brings in Candice to clean house (and scream a lot). Phoenix’s interference doesn’t work and Candice gets something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS to pin Melina

Post match the mini battle royal breaks out, with Beth being the last woman standing. Tazz: “She’s like a Glamazon!”

Santino Marella, with his arm in a sling, comes in to see William Regal to complain about Ron Simmons and Maria going on a date. Marella complains about Regal’s accent, saying he sounds like a “limp wristed hairdresser.” Regal tells him not to mess with the date so Marella says he’s off to get a cappuccino.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are ready for his official crowning tonight and invite HHH to be their guest.

Vince McMahon and Coach talk about Vince’s possible son, but write off the idea of it being HHH. Val Venis pops up to say HELLO DADDY, with Coach saying it would explain Val’s other career. They keep walking, with Vince blaming Shane McMahon for a lot of his troubles over the years. Daivari comes in to call Vince papa and puts his head covering on Vince’s head. Vince scares it off and they run into Mr. Kennedy but they keep walking this time. He wants it to be someone who has great wealth…and we’ll just cut it off there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shelton Benjamin

Charlie Haas is here with Benjamin. Cody takes him down by the arm to start but gets pulled to the mat without much effort. The chinlock with a knee in the back has Cody in more trouble but he fights up with some dropkicks. A bulldog gives Cody two and the snap jabs follow. Benjamin hits another backbreaker but the Boston crab is countered into a rollup to give Cody the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Cody stringing some wins together is a way to get him established with the crowd. That’s about all you can hope for with someone as generic as Rhodes still is. While that might work well for him, it is still a bit rough to see this happen to Shelton. He really did seem ready to be one of the next big things and here he is instead.

Post match Haas and Benjamin beat Cody down and leave him laying.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title. Cade drives Kendrick into the corner to start and grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work very well as Kendrick is back up with a dropkick. It’s off to London for an armdrag, followed by another armdrag to Murdoch. An armbar doesn’t last long so Cade comes back in as everything breaks down. Cade and Murdoch are sent outside for the stereo dives, with Kendrick slamming head first onto the floor for a scary crash. Thankfully he seems to be ok, so here is Cryme Tyme to sell Murdoch’s hat to the crowd. The distraction lets Kendrick grab a crucifix for the pin as the hat sells for two dollars.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together as you have some talented people who know how to work well together. Losing to London and Kendrick is hardly some shocking upset and it furthers Cryme Tyme’s claim to a title shot. They’re turning this into a little something, with Cryme Tyme’s charisma certainly taking it a long way. Nice match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We now go to Ron Simmons and Maria on a date at a sports bar and grill. Simmons will have CLAM chowder with his LAMB, along with some bread and JAM. Cue Santino Marella with Jillian (or Lilian, according to him) Hall and of course they’ll join them. Oh and Simmons gets a vegetable, so he’ll have YAMS.

It’s time for King Booker’s coronation, with Queen Sharmell handling the introductions. Last week, Jerry Lawler was supposed to crown him but that did not happen. Instead, Lawler announced his opponent for the Summerslam Games, Hunter Hearst Helmsley (He used his real name!). We see Lawler getting beaten down last week before Booker calls the city by the wrong name. Booker orders HHH out here right now….and it’s a guy in a bad HHH costume, complete with the fake nose (he looks like Jason Sensation as Owen Hart).

Fake HHH crowns him but Booker wants to talk to James Ross. This does not concern Tazzwell so he can leave. Booker yells at Ross over what he said last week, while losing a bit of the accent. Ross is in trouble, but he can make up for it by kissing the royal ring. That won’t happen, but Sharmell shoves his face onto it, which is enough for Booker. I was expecting more violence. And more from Fake HHH. This was something with a few ideas but they didn’t go anywhere.

Post break, Ross says it’s Game On for Booker at Summerslam.

We go back to the date, where Jillian Hall is singing Whitney Houston. Maria didn’t realize they had karaoke here, but she just brings that microphone with her. A “fan” comes up to ask for Santino Marella’s autograph on a program, which is unfortunately from the waist up because it doesn’t showcase Santino’s…uh, bulge. The fact that he is reading this from a piece of paper isn’t lost on Maria. Ron Simmons: “SHAM!”

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with Umaga as the guest. Carlito gets right to the point: we’re almost to Summerslam but he doesn’t have a match. He wants the Intercontinental Title shot, but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Carlito: “Not you again.” Kennedy thinks he should get the title shot, because he has beaten Bobby Lashley, which even Umaga hasn’t done. If anyone deserves the title shot at Summerslam, it’s MR. KENNEDY (which takes quite awhile to say). Umaga thinks it takes too long and superkicks Kennedy down before wrecking the set. Cue William Regal to make Carlito vs. Kennedy for the title shot right now.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

We’re joined in progress with Carlito taking him down by the arm and pounding on the shoulder. Kennedy gets sent outside but comes back in to take Carlito down instead. The chase on the floor doesn’t go very far and it’s Carlito hammering away back inside. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Kennedy’s back but he pops up with a backdrop.

Carlito’s clothesline doesn’t even get a count because Kennedy’s shoulders aren’t down but a suplex does get one. Kennedy misses a middle rope elbow so they trade rollups with trunks for two each. Back up and Carlito kicks/hits/springboard elbows him in the face, only to miss a charge into the post. They head back outside, with Kennedy hitting a running kick to the ribs against the steps as we take a break.

We come back with Carlito being sent into the corner, setting up some boot scrapes. That doesn’t go well for Carlito, who is back up with a posting of his own. Carlito’s dropkick gets two but Kennedy catches him on top. The super Regal Roll is broken up so Carlito hits a superplex, setting up the always stupid “let’s randomly throw our legs together” for a small package and the double pin.

Rating: C-. This was long and I don’t know how dramatic the ending was. It wouldn’t have made sense to have either of them go over the other so this was about as good as it could have been. The ending didn’t help either, as it’s one of those ending that can only make sense when they are working together and that isn’t a great visual.

Post match, William Regal makes the triple threat title match. That was so fast it was almost anticlimactic.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Back at the bar, Santino Marella threatens Ron Simmons, who calls the referee over (SAM!). As luck would have it, the waiter’s tray of food winds up on Santino, giving us Simmons’ main catchphrase. Kind of a lame ending, but Simmons has been great.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon is in the back with Melina, who apparently looks rather fetching in Divas Magazine. Snitsky comes in to say he never knew his parents, but he knows how to inflict pain. He promises to cause Cena pain and calls Vince dad.

We look back at John Cena slapping McMahon earlier.

John Cena vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Cena gets powered into the corner to start but avoids a charge. A bulldog just seems to avoid Snitsky, who kicks Cena in the head to take over again. Snitsky clotheslines him hard to the floor and there’s an elbow to cut off the comeback attempt. A double underhook crank works on both of Cena’s arms but Cena powers out. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the FU but here is Randy Orton with the RKO for the DQ.

Rating: C. It’s another match designed to be nothing more than a way to set up the finish, but Snitsky continues to look like a monster. One thing I did like here was the ending didn’t have Snitsky completely done, leaving him just enough of an out. I can’t imagine Snitsky can reach anything higher than a monster to be slayed, but at least he did well in a short match here.

Post match, Orton hits another RKO and stares at the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re in a weird place with the Summerslam build as Cena vs. Orton is set, but the second biggest Raw match involves someone who hasn’t been around for seven months. That has left the logical but only so good Booker vs. Lawler feud, with Lawler not being around this week either. The Vince drama is enough to fill in the gap, but the red half of Summerslam is feeling very single note after this show.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2007 (2021 Redo): Obvious Challenger Is Obvious

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2007
Location: Arco Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Great American Bash and it wasn’t exactly the most impactful show. John Cena is still the WWE Champion, having retained over Bobby Lashley in a very good match that didn’t quite make it all the way to the next level. Now it is time to get ready for Summerslam and I think you can figure out the main event from here. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

Jonathan Coachman is in his office and announces that we will be seeing a new #1 contender crowned by the end of the night. Speaking of champions, the main event will be an All Champions match, as John Cena and Candice Michelle face Umaga/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch. That doesn’t sound fair.

Opening sequence.

We open with a throne and table set up in the ring so here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Booker asks Jerome Lawler to get in the ring, where he sits down to a doughnut with a bite taken out of it. Lawler’s mic doesn’t work so Booker mocks the Sacramento Kings for being royalty without winning anything. He has spoken to NBA Commissioner David Stern to rename the team the Sacramento Peasants! Should the players be kings? But more importantly, should HHH be king?

Lawler tries to talk but gets cut off by ALL HAIL KING BOOKER! Lawler says a king is only as good as a kingdom and these people don’t seem to think much of him. Booker: “SILENCE!” Booker is ready to fight so Lawler punches him down and throws the bowl of fruit at him for a bonus. Points for not doing this match in one night as they’re actually setting it up to become something important.

Mickie James/Maria vs. Melina/Beth Phoenix

Santino Marella is on commentary as Beth and Mickie get things going. Beth powers her into the corner to start and it’s off to Melina, who gets hit in the face a few times. Maria comes in and gets taken down into a fast hammerlock. That doesn’t last long either as she forearms her way to freedom and brings Mickie back in to clean house. Mickie’s monkey flip sets up Maria’s high crossbody for two with Phoenix making a save. Santino gets up and trips the villains down, leaving Maria to bulldog Melina for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was more about Maria and Santino getting closer than anything else, which is not the most thrilling story but it’s better than nothing. I can go for a women’s match that has nothing to do with the title for a change and it is nice to see a group of women who can wrestle a nice enough match. Not great, but it did its job well enough.

Post match Santino celebrates with the winners.

Video on John Cena retaining over Bobby Lashley last night.

Gerald Brisco tells Cody Rhodes to be aggressive with Randy Orton tonight. Cue Orton, who says Dusty Rhodes didn’t teach Cody very well. Cody doesn’t like that and says Dusty wasn’t afraid of Orton, who says Cody should be afraid. He’ll let Cody back out tonight but Cody will see him out there.

Snitsky likes to hurt people and doesn’t feel any remorse.

John Cena talks to Todd Grisham about tonight’s main event by telling him to picture Candice Michelle. Cena lists off some impressive things about him and how Michelle would suggest they can, ahem, wrestle together. Then they’re interrupted by a 400lb Samoan and the cast of Brokeback Mountain. Cena: “That’s where I’m living right now.” Grisham: “Why would you do that to me?” On top of that, Cena isn’t worried about who he is defending the title against because he is ready for anyone.

Sandman/Jim Duggan vs. Carlito/William Regal

This feels like a tag match pulled out of a fish bowl and I kind of love it. Regal takes Sandman into the corner to start the beating and hands it off to Carlito for more of the same. That doesn’t last long as Sandman gets over to Duggan to pound on Carlito’s head. Regal offers a distraction though and it’s a quick Backstabber to give Carlito the pin.

Post break Carlito and William Regal brag about their win. Carlito can’t find a trashcan to spit the apple in so he spits it out….and right onto Bobby Lashley. Who I guess he just couldn’t see. Anyway, Carlito runs into the arena and says that wasn’t his fault. Cue Lashley for some violence and destruction.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton headlocks him down but Cody is back up with a dropkick and a slap. A crossbody gives Cody two so Orton kicks him into the corner, only to get sunset flipped for two. That’s a bit too much for Orton, who grabs the backbreaker to take over. Cody fights back again but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. A rollup gives Cody two so Orton clotheslines him hard for daring to try something. Back up and Cody misses something off the top, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad for the story they were telling, as Orton knew he wasn’t in danger and toyed with Cody before finishing him off. That’s how this should have gone, as it would have been ridiculous for a rookie to give Orton a serious threat. This should wrap up Orton vs. the Rhodes Family and now he can move on to something bigger.

Post match Orton loads up the Punt so Dusty Rhodes comes out for the save. Orton teases leaving and then Punts Dusty instead, drawing out the annoyed referees.

Post break, Dusty goes out on a stretcher.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Before the match, Kennedy promises to become #1 contender. They lock up to start with Hardy driving him into the corner without much trouble. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Kennedy in early trouble and he misses a dropkick to make it worse. The legdrop between the legs connects and it’s time to trade hammerlocks. Kennedy is sent outside with Hardy hitting a big dive as we take a break. Back with Kennedy hitting an Alabama Slam for two as Hardy seems rocked.

The neckbreaker gives Kennedy two and we hit a cravate to stay on the neck. Jeff fights up and tries the Whisper in the Wind but slips and falls backwards onto his head in a scary landing. Not that it matters as Hardy fights back up and slugs away, setting up the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton is loaded up so Kennedy rolls outside, allowing Hardy to hit the running clothesline off the barricade. Hardy sends him up to the stage and then sprints back to the ring for the win. It works in Wrestlemania 2000 and No Mercy so it works here too.

Rating: C. This was a good way to get Hardy back on track after his pretty awesome fight against Umaga last night. That’s exactly what he needs to bring him back up a bit, as he could be in for a pretty solid push in the near future. Kennedy doesn’t take a fall either, making this a rather nice way to present both of them.

Commentary gets serious when talking about Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam, complete with the Six Million Dollar Man theme.

Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Haas takes London into the corner to start and it’s off to Benjamin for a chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s off to Kendrick, who gets kicked in the head. Now it’s Haas grabbing a chinlock of his own, which is broken up just as fast. London comes back in as everything breaks down but Kendrick misses a dive to the floor. That leaves Benjamin to jump onto London’s back, setting up a German suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. Believe it or not, two very talented tag teams were able to deliver a good tag match. I could have gone for a good bit more of this as the technical abilities vs. the high flying should have made for a heck of a match. Instead, we got a fun but rushed match as Haas and Benjamin get reheated.

We look at Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes again.

Here are King Booker and Queen Sharmell again. Sharmell talks about how Jerry Lawler took things too far earlier and wouldn’t take Booker’s offer. The challenge is on for next week and Booker promises to end the reign of blasphemy.

Candice Michelle cries to Coach about the main event but Coach doesn’t care.

John Cena/Candice Michelle vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Umaga

Non-title and No DQ. Cena goes after the three of them to start until Umaga takes him down and hammers away. Murdoch takes Cena down from behind and hammers away with crossfaces. Umaga powers Cena into the corner but Candice gets chased into the ring. Cade and Murdoch hold her for the running hip attack but here is Jeff Hardy with a chair (including some scary shots to Umaga’s head) so Candice can escape. Cade is sent outside and Murdoch walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much more than a way to have Cena out there so we could find out the #1 contender. That being said, it’s also pretty lame to have him go over the three champions, even with Hardy helping. Nothing to the match of course, though Candice did at least look terrified.

Post match Cena celebrates and walks into the RKO as Randy Orton is the next challenger.

Overall Rating: C-. Kind of a weird show as they were so focused on the World Title challenger that nothing else felt important. The Booker vs. Lawler stuff should be good, though that is only going to get you so far. It didn’t help that Orton was the only logical choice for a challenger, leaving really only Lashley as a (distant) secondary option. Not the worst show, but it was a long time to get to a fairly obvious ending.

 

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 9, 2007: Replacement Needed

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the big main event is set. WWE Champion John Cena will be defending the title against Bobby Lashley in a match that has to have Vince McMahon drooling. There are two shows left to build up to the show and that can be the important times on the way there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker in a rematch of last year’s King of the Ring finals (which JR mentions during the entrances). Lashley powers him around to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. Booker’s charge is countered into a powerslam though and Lashley plants him again for two. There’s another slam to put Booker down again but he’s back up with a spinning kick. Lashley isn’t having that and hits the Dominator, only to have Mr. Kennedy come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Lashley was beating up a former World Champion and making it look pretty easy. They’re doing a great job of making Lashley feel like an unstoppable monster and that is where Cena shines most of the time. This didn’t need to go on much longer and they made their point while still protecting Booker a bit.

Post match the double teaming is on until Coach comes out to say not so fast. Tonight it was supposed to be Cena/Lashley vs. Kennedy/Booker, but since Cena is in Los Angeles (for a panel on Larry King Live), Lashley can pick another partner. Either that or have a handicap match. Lashley clears the ring to show off a bit.

Coach goes into his office to find William Regal, who he thanks for helping last week. Regal says he got some compliments for bringing something fresh to Raw, but Coach has him in a match with Sandman tonight. Regal doesn’t seem pleased but he’s in.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga is defending after taking the title from Santino last week. The strikes to Umaga are as effective as you would expect and he plants Santino with the spinning Rock Bottom. Cue Maria to cheer for Santino (Lawler approves) as Santino is sent chest first into the corner. Umaga does it again as this is total dominance so far. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Santino hammers away, only to get knocked right back down in a hurry. The running hip attack crushes Santino in the corner and the Samoan Spike retains the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete destruction here and that should wrap it up for Santino’s title shots. There is no reason to believe that Santino can hang with Umaga in a one on one match without assistance so this is the right way to wrap it up. Umaga can find some more people to fight for the title and odds are almost anyone would give him a better challenge at the moment.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Highlanders

Non-title and I had forgotten that the Highlanders were a thing around here. Cage runs Rory over with a shoulder to start and grabs a headlock to take him over again. Murdoch comes in for a headlock takeover of his own as this is another one sided match to start. A running elbow in the corner staggers Rory again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in his back. Rory gets up and his a jawbreaker to get a breather though and the hot tag brings in Robbie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high/low finishes for Murdoch out of nowhere.

Maria apologizes to Santino Marella for the loss and suggests they go out tonight. Marella suggests he help her at his hotel, with Maria agreeing, as they could watch a movie. Or something.

Charlie Haas makes fun of Shelton Benjamin for kissing King Booker’s hand last night. Shelton, the birthday boy, is so confident that he’ll win tonight that if he doesn’t, he’ll kiss….Haas….on the lips. Haas is down and then realizes what he said. Oddly enough, no Ron Simmons cameo.

Video on John Cena.

Snitsky vs. Super Crazy

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start but charges into a boot. That’s about it for Crazy’s offense as Snitsky hits him in the back and whips him hard into the corner again. The pumphandle slam finishes for Snitsky in just over a minute.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for a bonus.

We recap Randy Orton disrespecting Dusty and (the debuting) Cody Rhodes last week by slapping Dusty in the face. This week, Dusty wants some revenge.

HHH is coming back.

Here is Dusty Rhodes for a chat and he wastes no time in calling out Randy Orton. Cue Orton, with Dusty saying there was no way that it was going to be over last week when Orton slapped him in the face. Now is Orton just going to stand there and look stupid? Orton doesn’t want to hear the “respect your legends” speech again but Dusty goes on a mini rant about Orton spitting in Harley Race’s face. Dusty wants to hear about what Orton has done in the ring, so Orton talks about injuring Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam. That’s not how you gain respect, and LOOK AT DUSTY WHEN HE IS TALKING TO YOU!

Orton challenges him to a match at the Great American Bash, but Dusty says not so fast because he’s old and retired. That’s not cool with Orton, so he suggests that he’ll just end Cody Rhodes’ career instead. Dusty is willing to fight, but we’ll make it a Texas Bullrope match. Deal, with Orton saying Cody needs to be there to pick up the pieces. Cue Cody (Runnels according to JR), with Orton telling him to get out of the ring before he gets hurt. Cody slaps Orton in the face and Orton bails without going after the two of them.

Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could be good. Shelton powers out of a top wristlock attempt to start and then takes London down into a front facelock without much trouble. Back up and London kicks away at the ribs for little effect so he grabs a front facelock of his own. That’s broken up as well so Benjamin snaps off a backbreaker, setting up an armbar of all things. London fights up with a hurricanrana into a small package for two, only to have Benjamin go right back to the arm. That doesn’t seem to bother London, who grabs a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was good while it lasted but it didn’t have a ton of time to go anywhere. That being said, this is about as good as you’re going to get from these two as far as time goes, as WWE has never exactly shown much interest in a serious push for London. Then there is Benjamin, and there is no reason to believe in any push he receives ever again.

Mr. Kennedy jumps the banged up Super Crazy for last week.

Shelton Benjamin seems hesitant to kiss Charlie Haas but Haas will settle for a kiss on the hand. They hug, and NOW Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Hold on though as Melina has a sprained ankle, but she has a replacement: the returning Beth Phoenix. Melina sits in on commentary as Beth hits Mickie with what would become known as the Glam Slam. Candice gets the tag just a few seconds later as everything breaks down in a hurry. Jillian side slams Candice for two but gets caught in a backslide to give Candice the fast pin. This was nothing.

Post match Beth and Jillian beat down Candice, with Melina literally jumping in to help as a villain should.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH is still coming back.

King Booker isn’t happy that HHH is coming back but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says Bobby Lashley made them look like fools last week but Booker says that was just Kennedy. Revenge will be theirs!

Sandman vs. William Regal

Carlito is on commentary. Regal hammers away in a pair of corners to start as Carlito accuses Sandman of being drunk. Sandman comes back with a knee to the face but has to go after Carlito with the kendo stick. Another shot drops Regal to DQ Sandman.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

John Cena joins us via satellite and talks about how nice it was for Larry King to have people willing to have an intelligent discussion on wrestling on his show. As for Lashley, it’s true that he is an uncrowned champion. At the Great American Bash, we’ll find out who the real champion is.

Great American Bash rundown. That’s not a bad looking show.

Bobby Lashley/??? vs. Mr. Kennedy/King Booker

The mystery partner is….Jeff Hardy. I’ve heard worse ideas. In something I wouldn’t have guessed, Hardy is a bit taller than Lashley. Anyway, Booker and Hardy get things going with Booker missing an early ax kick attempt. Hardy starts in on the arm but gets taken into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Kennedy comes in and gets to stomp away in the corner until Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom.

The tag brings in Lashley to clean house, including a suplex to Kennedy. Booker gets knocked to the floor and Lashley plays Matt Hardy for some Poetry in Motion. A cheap shot from the apron lets Kennedy take Jeff down but he’s right back with the Whisper in the Wind. Now the hot tag can bring in Lashley to clean house as everything breaks down. The spear hits Kennedy with Booker making the save, so Hardy takes Booker outside. A leapfrog over Kennedy sets up another spear to give Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. This was a house show main style match and that’s all it was supposed to be. Cena had WWE business to tend to so putting Hardy in at the last minute was as good of an option as they probably had. The match wasn’t anything memorable, but it gave Lashley the chance to wreck some people and look great on the way to the pay per view title match.

Overall Rating: C-. There were some good pieces on the show but it felt like they were going through stuff as fast as they could have. Cena not being around changed a few things but I don’t think him being here would have brought the show up that much. It’s much more skippable than bad, though in a way that’s a worse situation to have.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 18, 2007: They’ve Got Questions

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2007
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 7,242
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week removed from Vince McMahon being blown up and that means it is time to ramp up the investigation. At the same time, it is time for the first Raw with the new roster following both the Draft and the Supplemental Draft. At the same time too, it’s the go home show for Vengeance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the explosion, now with statements from eyewitnesses and the lead investigator. Said investigator says we’re looking into it.

Here is Mick Foley to get things going, saying if he had known what would happen to Vince, he might have been nicer to him last week. Sure Vince told him he had no skills and looked horrible, but maybe he should apologize. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt to say a simple insincere apology isn’t going to make everything better. Orton thinks Foley had all of the motivation in the world to take Vince out, but here is King Booker to interrupt. Booker thinks Bobby Lashley is quite the suspect, but here is Lashley to shove him out of the ring.

Orton bails too and here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena doesn’t think much of these investigations and says there is more to this than just pointing a finger at someone and saying he did it. How many friends did Vince really have in the first place? Cena lists off all kinds of people, including anyone associated with the XFL, who could be involved. Cue Coach he is in charge of Raw, so tonight it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Orton/Booker. As for Foley, he can face Umaga.

Next week: a three hour special on the investigation into Vince McMahon, featuring stars from all three shows.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas takes London down by the arm to start and Benjamin adds a kick to the ribs to make it worse. Benjamin knocks London into the corner but gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag off to Kendrick. Everything breaks down and Kendrick flips out of Haas’ release German suplex, setting up Sliced Bread for the sudden pin.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere but what made a difference was the fact that it was actually something fresh. That was lacking last week on Smackdown as there was no reason to put out the same matches that we have seen for weeks (if not months) on end. Not exactly a great match here, but at least it felt different.

Coach answers some questions about Vince McMahon’s murder.

Here is Carlito for a chat. He misses Mr. McMahon but wants to talk about the Draft. The big winners were Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson, who got to leave Raw last week and get away from him. Cue the Sandman to chase Carlito off.

Cryme Tyme miss Vince because he was a capitalist…so let’s sell a bunch of his stuff! Like his last meal and his trash can! The investigator comes in to ask them some questions.

Daivari vs. Jeff Hardy

Big pop for Hardy and Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are at ringside. Hardy hammers away to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down. The armbar goes on for a bit, with Hardy fighting up to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. Daivari slams him down and hits a quick running legdrop, only to walk into the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes for Hardy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This was a good way to give Hardy a quick boost and it’s not like Daivari has any kind of value in the first place. Hardy is someone who always seems ready to break out on his own, which might be the case given that Matt is over on Smackdown. Now just get done with the Cade/Murdoch feud and we could be on to something.

Post match Cade and Murdoch accuse Jeff of disrespecting them so Jeff takes them out with a dive.

Coach doesn’t like being questioned about Vince but needs to meet with someone from Sheik Production. Cue the Iron Sheik, to think he should have his own show here on Raw. Coach walks off so here is Ron Simmons to say his catchphrase.

William Regal introduces himself to Maria but Santino Marella comes in to flatter her in Italian.

Vince’s limo driver doesn’t know anything about what happened last week.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

Mick Foley vs. Umaga

What a weird culture clash. It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell (duh) until Foley hammers away inside. A running clothesline drops Foley and he gets punched outside. Foley chairs Umaga in the head but the chair is superkicked back into his face. Umaga crushes him against the steps and the referee calls for the medics. The bell never rang so no match.

A white limo backs into the parking lot.

Mick Foley is being checked on by the doctor, who tells the investigator that Foley can’t answer any questions at the moment. The investigator needs to learn timing.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He’s upset about what happened to Vince but he’s here on Raw. Kennedy yells at the fans for the WHAT chants before talking about how he isn’t someone who just talks about what he wants. That’s why he’s in here and they’re out there. From now on, he is dedicating his career to the memory of Mr. McMahon. Thaty’s why he changed his name to Kennedy in OVW.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Mickie is the hometown girl and interrupts Jillian’s rendition of Amazing Grace in tribute to Vince. Candice and Jillian start things off with Candice getting two off an Oklahoma roll. Jillian goes with the hair toss, setting up the handspring elbow in the corner. Melina comes in with the choking on the ropes as the villains start alternating.

It’s back to Jillian for some loud choking as her offense isn’t the most varied. Said non-varied offense is broken up by a kick to Melina, allowing the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned in a hurry and a neckbreaker gets two on Melina. Everything breaks down and Candice takes Jillian outside, leaving Melina to hit her standing legdrop to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. Candice is getting a lot better in a hurry while Jillian doesn’t exactly seem to have the best offense in the world. What matters here is setting up Melina vs. Candice, which should be a good showdown after so many weeks of setting it up. The title match could work, though it’s going to be a test for both of them.

JR and King talk about the explosion and how much they miss Vince.

We look at the explosion again, this time with shows of the charred limo.

The white limo is still in the parking lot but no one has gotten out.

Randy Orton/King Booker vs. John Cena/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Lashley and Booker get things going with Booker slugging his way out of the corner. That earns him a shove right back into the corner so Lashley can slug away instead. A powerslam gives Lashley two and it’s off to Cena, who runs straight over to Orton for the tag. Everything breaks down and Cena clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and running Orton over.

Orton grabs the leg though, allowing Booker to come in and kick Cena in the head. Booker grabs his own chinlock before handing it back to Orton for his assortment of stomping. We’re on the third chinlock in less than five minutes, meaning Cena has to fight out again. This time that means a double clothesline, allowing the double tag to Lashley and Booker so the pace can pick up. Lashley suplexes Booker down but he’s back up to superkick Cena. Booker walks into Lashley’s spinebuster but Orton is back up with the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event tag match here, albeit with a very high concentration of chinlocks. Orton getting the pin over Lashley keeps him looking strong, as what is likely a Summerslam showdown with Cena continues to loom. Booker will be a fine addition to the roster, though I’m not sure what exactly he is going to be doing at the moment.

We go back to the while limo and Stephanie McMahon gets out.

Snitsky is coming next week.

Stephanie McMahon meets with Coach and says she has to do this on her own.

We run down the Vengeance card.

Here is Stephanie McMahon for a chat. She invites us to a celebration of Vince McMahon’s life next week, featuring all three brands over three hours. Stephanie starts crying and talks about how she has lost the only person she has ever known as her father before dropping the mic and walking out in a hurry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was quite the slow show, which is understandable but not exactly the most interesting week. The problem is that almost everything is focusing on the big Vince story and that seems to be the plan for next week as well. At least they aren’t wasting time getting to the point, though I’m almost worried about where all of this is going.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – June 15, 2007: This Should Have Been Big

Smackdown
Date: June 15, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first Smackdown after the Draft, but more importantly it is the first one after Vince McMahon lost to a car bomb. That was the dominant story on ECW and it is likely going to be the case again this week. There are some new wrestlers to get to meet though and that needs to be done well. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Draft if you need a recap.

We get a parental discretion advised notice due to issues involving Vince McMahon’s death. That’s a very specific reason.

Opening sequence.

We open with a long recap of Vince McMahon’s bad Monday, though the explosion isn’t shown. Yet.

The Smackdown roster (or at least most of it) is on the stage for the ten bell salute.

Earlier this week, a lawyer gave a statement at WWE Headquarters, saying federal officials are investigating what happened, but the show will go on.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and it’s always a good idea to start a NEW era with a match that has been done to death. Kendrick and Domino lock up to start but London comes in for a double dropkick. Kendrick gets in a few shots to the face but gets low bridged to the floor as commentary talks about the greatness that was Vince McMahon. Back in and Deuce cranks on Kendrick’s arms but Kendrick enziguris his way to freedom. London comes back in for some kicks to the face as everything breaks down. With Kendrick and Domino on the floor, Crack Em In Da Mouth finishes London.

Rating: C. Yes, again. I’m not sure how they have no fresh tag matches after the Draft but somehow here we are again with these same teams with the same results. Not a bad match of course as these teams know each other well, but can we please never see these teams fight again? You need more than two teams for a division, and you wouldn’t guess that at the moment.

We get some sitdown interviews about Vince, starting with William Regal talking about how much he enjoyed being inducted into Vince’s special club. And something about Al Snow and clowns.

Teddy Long talks about how he had been around wrestling for fourteen years before he came to WWE and Vince gave him his first real chance to show him what he can do. The photos on his office wall are of Vince McMahon and Martin Luther King. Vince made it happen and King made it possible.

Matt Hardy vs. William Regal

The rather popular Hardy headlock takeovers him to start and grinds away for a bit. They fight over a top wristlock as JBL goes on about Torrie Wilson coming to Smackdown in the Draft. It’s too early for the Twist of Fate though and Regal hits Hardy in the face to take over. They head outside where Regal gets in a few shots to take over, meaning it’s time to stomp away back inside.

Regal starts tying up the limbs in the middle of the ring before switching to a simple kick to the back. Hardy flips out of a double arm crank and the Side Effect connects for two. Regal is right back with a belly to back suplex into a tiger driver for two. Not that it matters as Hardy gets a boot up in the corner and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C+. This isn’t a match you see very often and they had a pretty solid match. I’m still not sure why we’re watching two people who were on Smackdown before the Draft rather than showcasing some of their new acquisitions, but at least it was a fresh pairing. Matt continues to seem to be someone WWE wants to push on his own, though beating Regal isn’t the fast track to the main event.

Jillian Hall is devastated at being there in person to see Vince’s final moments.

We see footage from after Raw, with firemen putting out the limo fire.

JBL and Cole talk about what could have caused the explosion, which is under investigation.

Chavo Guerrero talks about how Vince was a jerk but that is what you have to do to be successful in wrestling.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. In the back, Ric Flair, who is challenging MVP at Vengeance, wishes Batista luck in a reunion. MVP has to dodge a few leg dives to start but Batista blocks MVP’s own attempt. A big shove sends MVP outside where he wants a twenty second timeout. Back in and Batista hits some Razor Ramon shoulder blocks while holding MVP’s arm, sending MVP straight to the ropes. They talk trash to each other until MVP hits him in the face to take over.

MVP gets knocked outside again but this time Batista follows, only to miss a charge into the steps. A posting and whip into the barricade rock Batista again and we hit the chinlock back inside. Batista powers up and blasts MVP with a clothesline for a breather. Cole: “Can you imagine what it feels like to be hit by a cannonball?” JBL: “I know what it’s like to be hit by Batista!” A side slam gives Batista two but MVP gets in a shot of his own. The spear cuts MVP off though and the Batista Bomb gives Batista the pin.

Rating: B-. There’s a double shot for the show: a champion gets pinned clean and it’s a match we saw last week, before the Draft. It’s kind of amazing to see how inconsequential the Draft has been, as you would think this was any given episode without something special going on. I know the Vince angle changed things, but can they at least play with some of their new toys?

Sgt. Slaughter talks about how the WWE has lost its commanding officer. Vince was no ordinary general because he was on the battlefield with them and jumped in the foxhole with them. Everyone owes Vince a thank you and Slaughter promises to keep fighting for WWE and Vince’s American way.

We see some footage of the charred and destroyed limo.

Lead investigator Daniel Beck isn’t answering questions at this time.

Edge isn’t sure where he goes from here after everything has changed. He isn’t sure who becomes the rudder or the foundation around here and maybe it’s him.

Kristal talks about how her last interaction with Vince was a little strange as he went off the deep end. He’ll be missed.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Daivari vs. Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

For the Cruiserweight Title shot at Vengeance, champion Chavo Guerrero is at ringside and Moore is looking normal. The four of them pair off to start until Noble and Yang are left alone in the ring. Yang is sent outside though and it’s Noble coming in to beat on Moore. Noble dives onto Daivari but Yang dives onto all of them for the big crash. Back in and the Tower of Doom puts everyone but Daivari down so he comes in for some near falls. Moore and Noble are sent outside, leaving Yang to moonsault press Daivari for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. They kept this fast and that’s all they needed to do. Yang had more or less become the #1 contender weeks ago and now he is officially getting the title shot. There was little need to do more than that and they got in and out in a hurry. Yang vs. Guerrero isn’t going to light the world on fire but at least they have a bit of a history set up.

Edge vs. Ric Flair

Non-title. Feeling out process to start and Flair slicks the hair back with a WOO. Edge grabs a headlock takeover but gets rolled up, sending him bailing to the ropes. Back up and Edge slaps him in the face in the corner, meaning it’s time to get serious. There’s a hiptoss to send Edge outside as commentary goes into a discussion of the New York Yankees. Flair chops him down but the threat of the Figure Four sends Edge bailing to the rope.

Some more chops set up a half crab of all things, with Flair eventually laying back onto the mat to pull on it even more. Another Figure Four attempt is broken up and they head outside, where Edge scores with a backdrop. We take a break and come back with Edge unloading in the corner, setting up a suplex for two. Edge chokes away but Flair kicks him in the knee, which only just annoys Flair more. An enziguri cuts Flair off again so Edge goes up, only to get chopped out of the air. Now it’s time to go after the knee again and this time the Figure Four has Edge in more trouble…and here is MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly good Flair formula match as he went after the leg, got in trouble, then went back after the leg again before we got to the ending. I can go with MVP interfering to cost Flair the match as Edge can escape while keeping some dignity. Good enough main event and at least they finally had one of the new stars included.

Post match the double beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Batista gets rid of MVP but Edge hits the spear down and runs to end the show. There’s your tag match for next week.

Overall Rating: C. The Vince stuff is the kind of a story that is going to change everything but it made this show more of a skippable week than anything else. That’s kind of annoying when they had such a huge story on Monday, but I’m not sure how else they could have done this. The biggest change they needed to make was having more of the new Smackdown stars included, but for some reason we only had Flair around, which made for a bit of a less than inspiring show.

 

 

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Smackdown – June 8, 2007: What An Odd Duck

Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – June 1, 2007: They’re Doing What They Can

Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

 

 

 

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