Armageddon 2006 (2021 Redo): Pretty Merry Christmas

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re wrapping up the pay per view year with a Smackdown offering and it isn’t looking like the most important show. The card features a triple main event, including a Last Ride match, an Inferno match and a tag match with John Cena coming over from Raw as a guest star. I’m not sure if that is going to be enough but they certainly have some star power. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the triple main event, which is nearly half of the card.

Kane vs. MVP

Inferno match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire and you set your opponent on fire to win. After his intro, we get a video on MVP coming to Smackdown and getting on Kane’s bad side, setting up this match. MVP tries to bail but gets stopped by the flames, meaning it is time for Kane to start hammering away in the corner. A backdrop makes the flames pop up and there’s a forearm to the back of the head, which does nothing to the flames because it isn’t a big crash.

Kane’s superplex is broken up and MVP hits a high crossbody as they continue to use moves they don’t use in regular matches. MVP hits a running boot in the corner but Kane is back with a big boot of his own. The chokeslam connects and Kane rips a turnbuckle pad off…but it puts the flames out when he tries to light it on fire for no apparent reason. Instead Kane hits a side slam and sends MVP outside, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane avoids being sent into the fire and chokes MVP into it for the win.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how much better this could have been as it is the kind of match that does not leave you with many options. They are stuck in the ring and the whole match is designed to tease the fire spot. Throw in the fact that so many of the moves and spots are designed to make the flames go up rather than anything they would usually do. They were trying, but you can only do so much.

Post match, MVP gets extinguished as JBL freaks out a lot.

Teddy Long is having a Christmas party for the Divas and has a present for them: a Naughty or Nice lingerie contest. Good thing they bring that stuff with them I guess.

JBL is still incensed over MVP as we kill off some time for the fire equipment to be removed.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending….but hold on as here is Teddy Long, who is still in the Christmas spirit. Let’s make this a little more fun.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. Hold on again though as Long isn’t done.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. Hardys

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. I’m not sure what authority Long has over Raw stars appearing in teams that don’t exist anymore but oh well. JBL: “There is nobody better in ladder matches than the Hardys.” This is true as they won….no that was Edge and Christian. Uh….no that one was too. I’m sure they were the best like once or twice or so!

Anyway, it’s a brawl to start until we get the Hardys vs. London/Kendrick showdown, much to the fans’ delight. The Spin Cycle plants Kendrick but the villains come back in to clean house. MNM and the Hardys get in a fight over who gets to bring in the ladders with the Hardys throwing them inside, though managing to avoid the Brits. Poetry In Motion hits Taylor and MNM gives him a Snapshot to make it worse.

Matt whips Kendrick into a ladder (ow) but London dropkicks Jeff off of another ladder. Mercury climbs up so a bunch of people pick up the ladder and drop it, including Mercury, onto the ropes, sending Mercury onto Nitro on the floor. Another Poetry In Motion misses in the corner and only hits the ladder to knock Jeff silly again. London’s climb is cut off in a hurry and Kendrick is pulled down after getting just slightly higher. Matt gets dropped onto a bridged ladder for a top rope double stomp from Kendrick but gets up to stop Jeff from being superplexed onto some ladders.

Instead Jeff turns the ladder into a seesaw, which smashes Mercury’s nose halfway out of the arena, leaving him gushing blood and in no shape to continue. The replay shows Mercury’s head snapping back in a rather scary looking visual. Regal and Taylor get back up to start taking over and suplex London into a ladder in the corner. Matt gets up for a save and neckbreakers Taylor as Jeff brings in another ladder (and you can see the blood pooled up on the floor).

Nitro knocks the ladder out from under Jeff on the floor for another crash and then drops another down onto Regal inside. This time it’s Kendrick making the save so London springboards in with a dropkick to cut Nitro off. London catches Matt on top and hammers away until Matt backdrops him down for another huge crash.

Now it’s Nitro and Jeff’s turn, with Jeff busting out a huge sunset bomb. Matt climbs a pair of ladders but the Brits pull him down in a hurry. A running knee to the head drops Matt and Regal goes up, only to have Kendrick bring him down for a huge crash. London goes up top, punches Matt down, and pulls down the titles to retain.

Rating: A-. It deserves a bit of an upgrade just because of how bad Mercury’s face looked. This was all about one big spot after another and that worked out very well, as you kind of knew these teams would be able to do. Taylor and Regal felt out of their element but you need someone there to offer a change of style. London and Kendrick continue to look unstoppable and the idea of them against the Hardys is rather dream matchish at this point.

Kristal tries out her lingerie and JBL doesn’t seem to remember MVP’s troubles.

Miz vs. Boogeyman

JBL: “You had an inferno match, you had a ladder match and now you have this unfettered jackass.” Miz brags about beating Boogeyman tonight and JBL rants over him, as only Miz can make JBL this incensed. Boogeyman gyrates around to start and knocks Miz outside as JBL tries to figure out why Miz’s hair is cut that way. Cole thinks Miz winning here would be a huge upset. JBL: “Miz being in the ring would be a huge upset. He’s in the ring and I’m upset.” Boogeyman hits a backdrop but Miz hits a quick shot to the face. Miz goes up top, only to dive into a chokebomb (which takes a second to get right) for the pin.

Post match, Miz gets wormed.

Chavo Guerrero dedicates his US Title match to Vickie Guerrero, who thanks him for being a real man.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero, with Chavo accusing Benoit of being a woman beater due to accidentally running into Vickie at Survivor Series.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. Chavo jumps him to start but Benoit chops away and forearms him in the face. Some right hands keep Chavo down and Benoit throws him outside to keep up the beating. Back in and the rolling German suplexes have Chavo rocked but it’s way too early for the Swan Dive.

Instead Chavo catches him on top for the superplex for two before starting in on the back. The reverse chinlock goes on so Benoit fights up, earning himself another knee to the back to keep him in trouble. Benoit’s Crossface attempt is broken up and Chavo gets to pose a bit. Chavo ties him in the Tree of Woe but a baseball slide only hits post. He’s fine enough to rake the eyes, hit the Eddie dance, and try Three Amigos.

That takes too long as well though as Benoit rolls eight straight German suplexes for a standing ovation. The threat of the Sharpshooter draws in Vickie with the title so Benoit tries it on her, only to get rolled up by Chavo for two. You don’t do that to Benoit, who reverses into the Sharpshooter to retain.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, though I’m not sure how much drama there was in the idea of Chavo winning the title. He has been well built and the story seemed to call for the change, but that is a bit too far to imagine Chavo actually going. Benoit winning is fine too, as he could put over a bigger, or at least more promising, name down the line.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Yang takes him down and goes up but has to bail out of a moonsault attempt. A quick suplex sets up an even more quickly broken chickenwing as Helms sends him outside. Some forearms to the back set up a neck snap across the top, followed by some choking. Yang manages a backdrop to the floor and a dive drops Helms again.

Back in and Helms kicks him down, setting up the chinlock to draw the BORING chants. JBL even acknowledges it and yells at the fans for not getting it (fair enough as it’s not that bad). Yang makes the comeback and hits a spinwheel kick in the corner for his own two. Helms catches him on top and hits a super neckbreaker as the chants continue. A dropkick knocks Helms out of the air and Yang goes up, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault. Helms grabs a yet to be named Codebreaker to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here and the boring chants were fairly ridiculous. The problem is there is no reason to care about the title and WWE has made it even worse. At the end of the day, the title means nothing and the fact that Helms barely ever defends the thing makes it worse. Just saying that Helms has held the title forever isn’t going to make fans care about it. Having matches like this over and over could, but I have no reason to believer that is the case.

We recap Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in the Last Ride match, which feels like the real main event of the show. Kennedy has attacked Undertaker a few times and even busted him open with a microphone. After Kennedy and MVP accidentally conspired to beat Undertaker in a First Blood match at Survivor Series, it is time to end Kennedy once and for all.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with a hearse that has to be driven out of the arena. The hearse is wheeled into the arena and Kennedy gets to promise to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy dodges around to start and the referee bails outside (Why was he in there in the first place?). Undertaker gets sick of the movement and grabs Kennedy by the neck, meaning the beating is on in a hurry.

There’s a toss over the announcers’ table and then another into the apron but Kennedy manages to get in a shot of his own. Kennedy’s dive off the apron is pulled out of the air, with Undertaker tossing him around again. They fight up to the hearse, with Undertaker being driven into the closed door. It’s way too early to get him inside and close the door though, with Undertaker kicking his way out. Kennedy gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside with Undertaker nailing a superplex.

They’re already back outside with Kennedy getting smart by jumping onto Undertaker’s back for the choking. The unconscious Undertaker is sent inside but comes out the front door to escape and hammer away. Back in and Kennedy grabs a chair to knock Undertaker silly a few times, earning himself some quick situps. Kennedy bails and the chase is on as they head up the set. Undertaker is then thrown off said set, which is quite the crash that lands on a big pad.

We cut to some fans chanting for Kennedy as he puts the unconscious Undertaker inside for the second time. Kennedy gets in the driver’s seat and Undertaker sits up in the back (obvious but it worked). Undertaker pulls him out and hits a chair to the back. Another one to the head busts Kennedy open and there’s a chokeslam onto the roof. The Tombstone onto the roof knocks Kennedy silly and Undertaker puts him inside for the win.

Rating: B. It was violent and pretty definitive, though Undertaker winning the big blowoff in the end didn’t do Kennedy the biggest favors. What matters here though is that Kennedy got to look at least somewhat even in this big of a match against Undertaker. I’m not sure if it lived up to the brutality that JBL promised, but it was the best thing on the show so far and felt like a main event.

Finlay and King Booker promise to not double cross each other. Bickering begins to ensue but Queen Sharmell comes in to say cool it because they need each other. Finlay says he has the Leprechaun and all Booker has is Sharmell. Booker and Sharmell are incensed.

Here’s Santa Claus, sending JBL into a bit about wanting to buy the North Pole and cook the reindeer. Santa says it is cold at the North Pole so it’s time to heat things up here. Therefore, it’s time for the Diva lingerie contest. We have Kristal, Layla, Jillian Hall and Ashley. They all take their time modeling/dancing and the fans are a little more pleased with Layla and Ashley. Everyone winds up winning and Santa disrobes as Big Dick Johnson. Dancing ensues.

We recap Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker. Batista has been dealing with both of them and gets to pick any partner he wants for the match. Guest starring ensued.

Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker

Batista has a banged up arm coming in and Queen Sharmell is here with the villains. Cena and Booker get things going with a lockup until Booker drives him into the corner. Some knees to the ribs don’t do much good as Cena armdrags him into an armbar. Batista and Finlay come in with Batista grinding away on a headlock. Finlay gets up a knee in the corner but dives into Batista’s arms.

That means something like a MuscleBuster of all things with Booker breaking up the cover and coming in off the tag. A clothesline gets two on Booker and it’s back to Cena with a bulldog. Finlay has to break up the STFU and the distraction lets Sharmell slip Booker the scepter. A shot to Cena’s throat gives Booker two and a quick cheap shot from the Leprechaun has Cena in even more trouble.

Cena slips away from Booker and grabs a DDT though and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Batista to clean house and a Boss Man Slam drops Booker. Everything breaks down and Finlay chairs Batista in the leg. The chair is kicked back into Finlay and the leg is fine enough for a spinebuster on Booker. The Batista Bomb is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. I believe the words ho-hum would apply here, as this felt like little more than a house show main event. Seeing Cena and Batista together is cool, but it isn’t like this came off as anything close to feeling like a pay per view main event. It wasn’t a bad match as they kept this short and to the point, but it still wasn’t exactly something that felt like it belonged in this spot save for the star power.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Maybe it was the lower expectations but I had a good time with this one. The opener is the only thing that was particularly bad, and if you ignore the fact that this show means absolutely nothing and was only there because something had to be, you should have some fun with the thing. The ladder match is excellent and the Last Ride match is quite good as well. Good show here, even if it isn’t going to mean a thing in the long term.

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Smackdown – December 15, 2006: The Preview For What You Don’t Need To See

Smackdown
Date: December 15, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that isn’t exactly giving me hope for this week. The big story this week is Undertaker and Kane vs. MVP/Mr. Kennedy as the two long running feuds merge into one for a change. The rest of the show might not be all that great, but that has never stopped Smackdown before. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Raw’s John Cena to get things going. Cena knows that the question on everyone’s mind is where is Parts Unknown, but they also might be wondering why he is here on Smackdown. He does know that, and it’s because of three reasons. First of all, he lives here, which is why his father is ringside. After a hug to his dad, Cena says there was no way he was going to miss a show here.

It’s Christmas time though and WWE runs a Secret Santa game with its employees. This time around, Cena got Michael Cole, and managed to get him everything he wanted: a salami, a shirtless picture of David Hasselhoff, and a bag of salty nuts. With that gag out of the way, Cena talks about Armageddon (which is his favorite Def Leppard song) and how important the tag team match is going to be.

Cue King Booker and Finlay, who promise to give Cena the same beating they gave to Batista last week. Cena is ready to fight but here is a taped up Batista for the save. Cue Teddy Long to make it a singles match playa, with Cena vs. Finlay set for later, which thankfully means we don’t have another Booker vs. Batista match.

William Regal/Dave Taylor/Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Want Yang

Take two title feuds, throw them into one match. London and Helms start things off with London cranking on an armbar. Kendrick comes in for a front facelock but Regal gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Taylor adds a suplex as commentary talks Ashley being more than friendly with London and Kendrick.

It’s off to Regal for some knees and a chinlock, followed by the suplex into the corner. An uppercut knocks Kendrick down again and Helms comes back in for a front facelock. A missed charge lets Kendrick kick Taylor in the head though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Regal and Taylor have had enough and walk out, leaving Yang to hit a moonsault press for the pin on Helms.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to do much with so many people involved but they did a basic story well enough. Kendrick takes a good beating and it was smart to let Yang get the pin over Helms to suggest even the possibility of a title change. Of course that is pretty much guaranteed to not happen, but it’s a nice way to go here.

Clip from the Armageddon press conference, the high point of many a journalist’s resume.

Matt Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

No seconds here, which is kind of weird to see. Commentary immediately ignores the match to talk about Tribute to the Troops on Christmas night as Mercury takes Hardy into the corner to start. That is broken up in a hurry but Mercury hammers away against the ropes, being a bit more aggressive than usual here. Mercury knocks him down and grabs a chinlock, followed by a neckbreaker for no cover. A knockoff screaming elbow gets two on Hardy, who fights up at the idea of gimmick infringement. Hardy hits a clothesline of his own into the real screaming middle rope elbow and the Twist of Fate finishes Mercury.

Rating: C. I’m not sure how to process the idea of a clean match like this one but it worked out fine. Hardy is the bigger name here and it isn’t like anyone cares about Mercury as a singles wrestler in the first place. That being said, since there isn’t a match set for either of the teams or their individual members, this was a bit of a strange use of Smackdown time.

Video on the history of the Inferno match.

MVP tells his agent to get him out of the Inferno match but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. The argument is on, with the two of them explaining the idea of their matches on Sunday.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane

MVP gets scared by the fire during his own entrance, which I’m not sure I remember being there before. Kennedy slowly opens the door of the hearse in the aisle and finds nothing, which doesn’t mean much around here. Joined in progress with Kane stomping Kennedy into the corner and then lifting him into the air for the choking. A rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to MVP, who is side slammed down in a hurry. The top rope clothesline makes it even worse and Undertaker comes in to unload in the corner.

Kennedy finally does something worthwhile by offering a distraction to break up Old School and Undertaker gets stomped down for a change. Undertaker is right back with right hands to MVP in the corner though and now Old School connects. Kane tags himself in and the brothers hit some big boots. The double chokeslam plants Kennedy but MVP saves him from the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks MVP to the back as Kennedy and Kane fight on the floor for the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was the teaser trailer for Sunday and that’s all it needed to be. We’ve seen these four fight in various combinations for weeks now and there isn’t much left to do than have the big blowoff matches at the pay per view. I’m glad they didn’t waste time on a long match before the ending either, so while this might not have been very good, it was at least efficient.

Post match Kennedy sends Kane into the steps and gets in the hearse. Kennedy revs the engine but the lights go out, allowing Undertaker to appear in the driver’s seat. That sends Kennedy and MVP running….right into Kane as he sits up for a pretty funny moment. The villains run off in a hurry.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and Funaki gets the jobber’s entrance, likely because he is a jobber. Before the match, Chavo calls out Chris Benoit to apologize for hurting Vickie. Benoit comes out (looking odd in a suit) and says he isn’t apologizing for anything so Chavo beats on Funaki to vent some frustration. A pair of belly to back suplexes have Funaki in trouble and, after shrugging off a few kicks, Chavo plants him with the brainbuster. The frog splash finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Post match Benoit comes in and puts Chavo in the Sharpshooter. Vickie comes in and gets in Benoit’s face, causing him to get up and Vickie to curl up into a screaming ball without being touched.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Creed song.

Vito vs. Sylvan

Merry freaking Christmas. Cole talks about Vito trying to force himself on him and I think we might need to hear more about that. Vito hammers away to start but gets backdropped to the apron and clotheslined out to the floor. JBL’s jokes continue to abound as Vito makes the comeback, pulls up the dress (thankfully revealing trunks instead of the thong), and drops a leg for two. Vito walks into a Samoan drop but pops up for an O’Connor roll to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D. This was back to the old stuff for Vito, which wasn’t funny in the first place and wasn’t exactly good here either. It is pretty clear that the hype he had is gone, but at least they kept it short. JBL’s jokes and the whole idea have not exactly aged well, but it isn’t like Vito is being treated as a big deal in the first place.

Armageddon rundown.

Here are the Miz and Kristal to prove that Miz is not afraid of Boogeyman. Tonight, he is going to eat some scary foods to show just how fearless he really is. First up, Miz eats some pig’s tongue, followed by monkey brains….but he can’t eat the worms on plate three. Then Boogeyman pops up through the plate to scare them off.

Finlay vs. John Cena

Non-title. Finlay grabs a quick headlock and then runs Cena over with a shoulder. That’s enough to start Cena back up and he runs Finlay down, followed by an elbow. Finlay is right back with a clothesline into a nerve hold, followed by a rip to the face. Cena fights up with a belly to belly for two, only to have Finlay run him over again and send Cena face first into the apron.

As commentary talks about Vince McMahon being the first Irish champion, the Leprechaun pops out and is promptly thrown at JBL. Finlay decks Cena and puts the Leprechaun back underneath the ring as we take a break. Back with Finlay hitting another running clothesline and sitting on Cena’s chest for two. Finlay’s armbar keeps Cena down for a bit and he pulls Cena down into the Fujiwara version to make it even worse.

Back up and Cena wins a strike out but Finlay rakes the eyes to escape the FU. Cena doesn’t seem to mind and hits the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle but Finlay goes back to the bad arm. The Celtic Cross gets two so here’s the Leprechaun again, allowing Finlay to grab a chair. Cena kicks that back into his face though and it’s the FU for the pin.

Rating: B-. Finlay continues his series of good jobs as the upper midcard brawler that bigger stars have a bit of trouble beating. That is a fine spot to be in as Finlay is tough enough to make the matches work without feeling like a threat to jump up to the next level. Good main event here, and it’s rather nice to see the hometown boy get to have a big win for a change. And they even tossed around a leprechaun!

Post match here’s Booker to double team Cena but Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Your taste may vary here as they did a nice enough job building up the pay per view, but the pay per view isn’t that interesting in the first place. It is very clear that the show is going to be built around the two gimmick matches with the main event tag match being thrown in to have a main event level match. This show wasn’t too bad, but it isn’t something you need to see, much like Sunday’s show.

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Smackdown – December 8, 2006: Wouldn’t That Hurt?

Smackdown
Date: December 8, 2006
Location: Florence Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re on the way to Armageddon and the big story is that Raw World Champion John Cena will be joining forces with Smackdown World Champion Batista to face King Booker vs. Finlay. That could make for a big house show match, though they are going to need something a little bigger to make the card work. Would an Inferno match and a Last Ride match be enough? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Mr. Kennedy to get things going, though he is a little shaken up by the hearse entrance. Kennedy says that Undertaker is not going to get inside his head by having a hearse in the arena. That isn’t going to take his mind off the Last Ride match because he already beat Undertaker at No Mercy and at Survivor Series. He is already inside Undertaker’s head and now he is going to beat Undertaker at Survivor Series. The gong strikes and the hearse starts moving backwards despite no one driving. Undertaker pops out from the back and chases Kennedy off in a hurry.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Non-title and Ashley is here with London/Kendrick. Speaking of London and Kendrick, they dropkick the villains off the apron before the bell to start fast. Everyone gets inside so Kendrick can crank on Regal’s arm and London adds a jumping elbow to the jaw. Taylor comes in and gets kicked down by Kendrick as commentary starts talking about Ashley in Playboy.

Regal takes London down and drops a knee on the head but the chinlock doesn’t last long. Instead he snaps off a half nelson suplex for two and Dave comes in for the full version, though minus the suplex. It’s already back to Regal for the chinlock but London fights up and dropkicks his way to freedom. Taylor isn’t about to allow a hot tag though and dives onto London for the save.

Regal comes back in and headlocks London in front of Kendrick, because Regal is great at tormenting people. That takes a bit too long though and London backdrops his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house but Regal goes outside to stalk Regal. London breaks that up and gets a hug, but Regal trips Kendrick down, allowing Taylor to hit the bridging butterfly suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. These guys worked rather well together and it should set up a heck of a title match when they get there. The London/Ashley stuff feels a bit like the Hardys and Lita, which is not the worst place to go, and it isn’t like London and Kendrick have much else to do as champions in the first place. Now just do the rematch and see where it goes from there.

John Cena is ready for Armageddon because he doesn’t like King Booker or Finlay either.

Batista says we’ll never see something like this again and is ready for Finlay tonight.

King Booker wants his title shot but Finlay tells him to wait in line. Booker wants to make sure they are on the same page, but Finlay says Booker talks too much.

Batista vs. Finlay

Non-title. Batista backs him into the corner and smirks a lot on the break. Some right hands and a knee to the face in the corner have Finlay in more trouble and the BATISTA chants start up again. Finlay gets tired of getting hit in the face so he takes Batista down and cranks on a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Batista hits a clothesline, followed by pulling Finlay away from the ropes for a crash. Finlay gets dropped onto and kicked over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting an elbow to the face but getting sent face first into the middle turnbuckle. There’s a rake to the eyes to keep Batista down but he manages to get in a quick shot to the face of his own. A Jackhammer plants Finlay for two and it’s time to work on a hammerlock.

Batista boots him in the face to send us to the floor again, though this time Finlay sends him shoulder first into the post. Back in and Finlay works on the arm with an armbar and then sends it into the buckle. A Fujiwara armbar goes on but Batista powers up into a Samoan drop. Cue the Leprechaun, who is tossed onto Finlay. Now cue King Booker, who is tossed onto the floor but Finlay comes back with the shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good while it lasted and the pretty long match time flew by. Batista is getting better at the power game and Finlay can do something like this with anyone. They beat each other up well enough and in this case, the run in made sense as Finlay and Booker are going to need as much momentum as they can to keep the match from looking like the one sided main event that it will be.

Post match the beatdown is on with the villains focusing on Batista’s arm.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Gregory Helms, on commentary, at Armageddon. Noble starts fast and hammers away at Yang, including a suplex for two. We’re already on the chinlock as Helms does not seem thrilled with the fact that Yang is “half Asian, half stupid.” Yang comes back with a middle rope kick to the face but runs into a powerslam for two. They slug it out until Yang gets in a hard shot to the face, setting up a moonsault press for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. No time here and the win lets Yang have the chance to challenge for the least valuable title in all of WWE. There is no reason to get excited about the title, though at least Helms is finally defending the thing. WWE has done a terrible job of making the title seem like it matters at all so maybe this can help get it back on its feet. Of course it won’t, but I’ll take it for one night.

Chris Benoit denies that he is a woman beater but Vickie Guerrero comes in to slap him. Chavo Guerrero helps her away.

MVP asks Teddy Long how many times he has to beat Kane. Now it’s an inferno match and that is not cool with him. He tries to talk to him, “brother to brother”, but Long says that MVP doesn’t have some kind of contract clause to get out of this but if he doesn’t get in the ring, he’s fired. MVP can call his agent or the Ghostbusters, because next week it’s MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker/Kane.

Sylvan vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Benoit chops away, rolls the German suplex, and wins with the Crossface in less than a minute.

Fans are looking forward to things on the See No Evil DVD. I’m expecting a movie to be one of them.

Miz vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Cole and JBL bicker over Miz to start, with JBL seeming to get the better of things as Miz falls outside. Back in and Miz hits a slingshot shoulder for two, which has JBL more behind Scotty. A missed shot in the corner lets Scotty come back with the faceplant. The Worm takes too long though and Miz rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Post match Miz beats on Scotty even more and even tries his own Worm. That’s enough to bring out the suspended Boogeyman to lay Miz out and load up the worms….but Miz bails before he gets messy.

In the spirit of the holiday season, Kane roasts some chestnuts….in his bare hand.

Armageddon run down.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Kane

Before the match, Kennedy promises to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy jumps Kane before the bell but gets knocked down and elbow dropped. Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a legdrop for two. More shots to the face send Kennedy outside so Kane heads outside to keep up the beating. Kennedy manages to get part of the barricade padding off but Kane hits him in the face again. They head outside again and this time Kennedy manages to dropkick him into the exposed barricade.

That’s good for an eight count so Kennedy plants him with a DDT for two more. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Kennedy sends him into the corner, only to have a running boot to the face countered with a grab of the throat. Some running clotheslines in the corner set up the side slam to plant Kennedy but he’s right back with the swinging neckbreaker. Kane pops back up and knocks Kennedy out of the air, setting up the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what else there was to expect here as much like Batista vs. Finlay earlier, the run in finish made the most sense. Kennedy continues to get to hang with a big name and he wasn’t completely beaten before the DQ. That’s about as good as this was going to be and it worked out fairly well as a main event.

Undertaker, gong, lights out, Kane and Kennedy disappear, fire scares MVP to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They are doing everything they can to set up the pay per view but there is no way around the fact that the main event is little more than a guest star. The two gimmick matches can help the show a bit, but they are going to need more than that to make it work. I don’t think Benoit vs. Chavo (again) and Yang vs. Helms is going to do that, though I’m not sure what else they have to throw on there to make it much better.

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Smackdown – December 1, 2006: They’re Moving Here

Smackdown
Date: December 1, 2006
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It is the first show after Survivor Series and the big Smackdown story is Batista taking the World Title back from King Booker. That means it is time to start getting ready for Armageddon in a few weeks, so we need to set up some stuff. With so little time left before the show, we might be getting ready for the show this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Teddy Long in the ring to hype up Armageddon on December 17. That sounds like a good place to announce some matches, so we’ll have Kane vs. MVP in an Inferno match and Mr. Kennedy vs. the Undertaker in a Last Ride match. That is in a few weeks though, so for now let’s bring out Batista. The new champ is rather happy to have his title back, though JBL goes on a rant about how Batista didn’t climb some mountain to become champion again. It took Batista eleven months to get the title back and now all is right with the world.

Cue King Booker and Queen Sharmell, whose ALL HAIL’s have lost some steam. Booker says it takes some nerve to stand in the ring with his title, because Batista stole it. Teddy Long helped him steal the title by changing the stipulations right before the match began. Then Batista had to cheat to win to win the title (yeah) so tonight, the rematch clause is being invoked. Batista is ready to fight now but here is Finlay to interrupt. Finlay says Booker doesn’t deserve a rematch because he hasn’t beaten him yet, so it should be Finlay vs. Batista. Teddy thinks they both have a point so let’s have a triple threat match for the title.

MNM vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Non-title and Melina/Ashley are here as the seconds. As a bonus, we’re told that Ashley is next year’s Wrestlemania Playboy girl. London and Kendrick take turns knocking Nitro down to start with Kendrick coming in off the top to elbow the arm. The double dives hit MNM but Kendrick misses a high crossbody back inside. London has to make an early save so Nitro slaps on the chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s broken up so Kendrick gets over to London for a double high crossbody. Everything breaks down and here are Dave Taylor and William Regal to jump London. That’s enough to set up the Snapshot to put London away.

Rating: C. This is a match I could go for on the bigger stage. I know London and Kendrick took the titles from MNM in the first place but they have come so far in the time since the title change that it could be a classic if they did it again. It’s kind of shame that MNM is only back for a short run, because they could give the division a much needed boost. Nitro has come a long way on his own though and I think WWE figured out his potential a long time ago.

We look at Mr. Kennedy beating Undertaker in the First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Kennedy comes up to MVP in the back and yells at him for swinging the chair. They argue over their matches at Armageddon and Kennedy calls him an idiot. Things are not quite cool here.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Batista

Batista is defending and Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Batista punches them both down to start and takes over, including a Regal Roll to Finlay. The ring is cleared of challengers and we take a break. Back with Finlay working over Batista, including the elbow to the chest. JBL: “These guys would smack their mama right now to win a World Title.” Booker gets knocked outside again and Finlay plants Batista for a close two.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by some boots to Batista’s head. Finlay grabs the chinlock again but Batista fights up and hits a MuscleBuster for two. Booker comes back in to kick Batista in the back for two of his own, followed by the catapult into the bottom rope for the same. Finlay makes a save this time and it’s time for the villainous staredown. Booker gets the better of the brawl and Sharmell rakes the eyes to put Batista on the floor.

Back in and Booker gets two on Batista, meaning it’s time for the double teaming. Finlay throws Booker off for daring to cover before slapping on a chinlock. With that broken up, Finlay grabs the Shillelagh but the referee makes him put it down, as this triple threat has DQ’s. Cue the Leprechaun….but Batista stares him to the floor. Now the Shillelagh shot to the knee can get two on Batista and Finlay grabs the half crab. That’s broken up by Booker’s superkick but Finlay knocks Batista down. The spear into the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Not a classic or anything but it got time and felt like a match that meant something. Giving Batista a title defense right out of the gate makes up for some of the belt shot title win and keeps open the door for Batista vs. Booker II. If nothing else, it is always cool to see the title on the line in a match with some weight so this was a nice surprise.

Post break, Booker and Finlay yell at Teddy Long, who doesn’t want to hear it. Therefore, at Armageddon, it’s Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/a partner of his choosing.

We look back at Chris Benoit retaining the US Title over Chavo Guerrero after accidentally knocking Vickie Guerrero off the apron.

Vickie and Chavo call Benoit a woman beater and swear revenge.

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Vickie Guerrero, in a neck brace, is here. Benoit knocks him down to start but gets elbowed in the face for an early two. The rolling German suplexes send Chavo outside, where he hides behind Vickie as we take a break. Back with Chavo sending him face first into the middle buckle and slapping on an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Benoit starts the comeback with a backdrop into a chop for two.

Chavo tries to get up top but gets superplexed right back down in a nasty landing. The Sharpshooter attempt is broken up so the Crossface sends Chavo crawling to the ropes. Back up and Benoit tries an O’Connor roll but gets kicked almost into Vickie. This time Benoit puts the brakes on and Chavo rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: C. There’s your setup for the rematch and that’s all it needed to be. They even played off of Sunday’s ending here for a nice bonus. It isn’t a great match or anything but it served its purpose and the pay per view rematch should be better. Now just stop talking about Benoit being such a monster and the next match will be easier to watch.

Batista seems to have picked a partner.

Layla vs. Kristal Marshall

Layla grabs a headlock to start but an attempted hammerlock doesn’t go very far. Kristal gets sent outside but comes back in for a slam as commentary talks about Playboy. A Hennig necksnap gives Kristal two so she grabs Layla by the hair and slams her head first into the mat for the pin. This was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Batista picks John Cena.

Raw Rebound.

MVP vs. Undertaker

MVP immediately starts begging off but gets taken into the corner to start the beating. A running clothesline lets Undertaker hammer away in the corner and Old School connects (JBL: “That is completely unnatural.”). MVP kicks him in the face and the glare is on in a hurry. There’s the jumping clothesline to drop MVP again and the turnbuckle pad is ripped off.

A few rights and lefts slow Undertaker down for a bit but he is right back with a clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot lets Undertaker grab a chair. MVP goes to run but here is Mr. Kennedy to throw him back in….but MVP reverses and sends Kennedy inside instead. Cue Kane as I think the match has been thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was a total squash until the no contest, though it is at least a match that felt fresh. They very well could do another match between them down the line and it would be a fine way to headline one of the next two Smackdowns. What we got here was fine enough for the short form, though it does feel like it’s a match that was there to fill in time and little more.

Kane and Undertaker clean house but the threat of a double chokeslam sends the villains running to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t remember the last time that they set up three major matches for the pay per view, plus a few other matches that you can see coming from here, for a pay per view in a single night. They did what they should have done with their time here and the World Title match was pretty good in its own right. Good, effective show here and it was nice to see something efficient like this one.

 

 

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Smackdown – November 17, 2006: Take It Easy

Smackdown
Date: November 17, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re over in England here too and that means it is time to continue pumping up the build to Survivor Series. We know most of the card, including the World Title match with King Booker defending against Batista. Odds are that gets built up this week, as it always needs to be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Boogeyman vs. The Miz/Kristal

Miz and Kristal don’t get an entrance and Kristal was added to this by Teddy Long. Boogeyman chokes Miz down to start so Kristal jumps on his back. Miz gets in a few cheap shots and a clothesline but Boogeyman is back up, complete with worms to Miz’s face. Kristal gets wormed and screams a lot….as the match just ends.

Queen Sharmell shouts King Booker’s praises when Finlay comes in. Finlay and Booker are teaming together tonight and agree that Booker should beat up Batista while Finlay deals with Bobby Lashley. That’s quite the big tag match.

We see a video on Rey Mysterio’s knee surgery following his torn PCL and ACL.

Tatanka vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit chops away in the corner to start but Tatanka gets in a thumb to the eye. Forearms to the back set up a quick chinlock as things slow down a bit. Tatanka cuts off a comeback and knocks Benoit outside for a whip into the steps. Back in and a hard whip into the corner puts Benoit down again but he grabs the legs for a fast but failed Sharpshooter attempt. As JBL explains that Bret Hart got the Sharpshooter from Bret Hart, Tatanka gets a Boston crab to send Benoit over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes rock Tatanka and the Sharpshooter makes Tatanka tap.

Rating: C-. Another riveting performance from Tatanka here as the new version continues to be somehow even lamer than the old one. There is nothing to him and the sooner WWE realizes this, the better everyone will be. Benoit is going into the showdown with Chavo so he needed something to get him warm, but egads was there no one better than Tatanka? Maybe an angry wombat or something?

Post match Chavo Guerrero comes in and beats Benoit down. A chair shot to the knee has Benoit screaming as Chavo shouts about Benoit not being a Guerrero. He wants Benoit to stay out of their business.

Teddy Long talks to Kane about his street fight with MVP and plugs the See No Evil DVD. Kane doesn’t actually say anything.

We look back at Mr. Kennedy attacking Undertaker and busting him open to set up their First Blood match at Survivor Series.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He dubs himself the savior of wrestling and talks about everything he has done so far. Just like Undertaker, he has broken new ground in wrestling but now Undertaker has been surpassed. Just look at the proof, with this bloody microphone. This year at Survivor Series, the fifteen years of destruction will end.

William Regal vs. Paul London

Brian Kendrick and Ashley are here too and Regal gets one of the biggest pops of his career. Regal grabs an armbar to start and London can’t even headscissor his way to freedom. Instead Regal sends him into the corner and heads outside for a running boot to the head against the post.

Back in and Regal fires off some knees to the head, followed by a flip over half nelson suplex. Some more knees to the head and a legdrop to the back of said head give Regal two. London fights out of a double arm crank and starts the comeback but a missed dive takes Ashley out by mistake. London is distraught and Regal hits a running knee for the pin.

Rating: C. In addition to the fans loving everything Regal did, this was one of the more intense beatings you will see around here. Regal looked vicious and took London apart to instantly give us new challengers for the titles. The division has needed some fresh blood and if it happens to be two old British guys, so be it.

We look at Bobby Lashley debuting on ECW and entering the Extreme Elimination Chamber.

Teddy Long is happy with Lashley and thanks him for everything. The door is always open if he wants to come back. How nice of a boss losing a main event star to ECW.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Kane vs. MVP

Street fight. MVP grabs a chair to start but Kane kicks it out of his hands. They head to the floor with the beatdown being on in a hurry. Kane sends him into the barricade near the stage and then face first into the big red phone booth. Somehow MVP knocks him into the booth so Kane blasts his way out with the door taking MVP down. To even things up a bit, Kane puts him in the booth and turns it over so the beating can head back to ringside.

The slightly busted open MVP is sent into the announcers’ table and then JBL and finally the post to complete the trio. Kane drops him face first onto the steps but MVP comes back with a DDT onto the chair for two back inside. We take a break and come back with MVP hitting a running big boot in the corner. The bell to the face drops Kane for no cover so he gets back up and hammers away, including the side slam. Kane connects with the top rope clothesline so here is Mr. Kennedy to help MVP hit him in the face with the steps for the pin.

Rating: C+. There is something fun about watching Kane wreck people and it was on full display here. The important thing here though was MVP picked up the win and didn’t even have to cheat to do so. They did their thing and MVP took a nice beating, so this did its job on both ends. Now go somewhere with MVP and Kennedy.

Post match the Undertaker comes in to clear the ring. Kennedy sends MVP back in though and the double chokeslam leaves him laying.

Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and yes, we’re doing this AGAIN. Helms starts fast by jumping Hardy during the entrances and chokes with the boot. A stomp to the ribs keeps Hardy down as commentary again tries to make this feel like some epic rivalry. The front facelock doesn’t last long on Matt as the comeback is on with a clothesline, followed by the corner clothesline into a bulldog. Helms grabs a rollup out of the corner but the referee catches him with his feet on the ropes. The Twist of Fate is countered into a neckbreaker for two and it’s time to argue with the referee. The delay lets Hardy grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. The matches tend to be fine but they stopped meaning anything weeks ago. Their pay per view match a few weeks back was very good but the three minute version with part of that going to Helms arguing with the referee isn’t going to do anyone any good. These two really need to move on and do anything else, or at least have some big blowoff match to wrap it up already, because trading quick wins isn’t helping anyone.

MVP is being checked on by the medics when Teddy Long comes in. Since MVP is fine, he can face Kane in a cage next week.

King Booker is talking with Queen Sharmell about the main event when Batista comes in. Booker isn’t happy with Batista becoming the new #1 contender because Booker didn’t need his protection. No worries though as Booker has beaten him before and can do it again. Batista: “Tonight, I’m going to beat you up.” Oh and Booker dropped his crown.

King Booker/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here too. We get the big staredown before the bell and it’s Batista starting with Finlay. Batista shoves him down to start and Finlay is already looking frustrated. A catapult sends Finlay throat first into the top rope and he lands on Batista’s knees for a bad landing. Batista powerslams Finlay for two and it’s off to Booker to unload in the corner.

That’s shrugged off and a clothesline drops Booker so Lashley can come in. Finlay gets thrown into Booker and there’s the double delayed vertical suplex to put Finlay down. JBL: “Makes me sick.” We take a break and come back with Finlay tying Lashley in the ring skirt to hammer away. Back in and Booker hits a side kick for two, followed by the required chinlock.

Booker sends him outside so the Leprechaun can pop out for a splash from the steps. JBL is rather pleased and Booker hammering away makes it even better. Finlay grabs the chinlock and then clotheslines Lashley down for daring a comeback. Lashley gets up again and hits a spear, allowing the hot tag to Batista. House is cleaned but Finlay breaks up the Batista Bomb. Sharmell gets in a scepter shot for two and Booker is stunned. Another kick to the face misses though and Batista hits the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. Things got a bit nuts at the end with the scepter but Batista continues to gain momentum on his way to Survivor Series. Lashley was little more than a warm body here but he is already moving on th ECW and who else was supposed to take his spot here? Batista almost has to win the title back at Survivor Series and if he does, everything should be fine on Smackdown for the time being.

Overall Rating: C. They’re kind of in a weird place at the moment as Survivor Series is pretty much set, meaning there isn’t much to do either this week or next. You’re only going to get so far with pushing the same matches that have already been set, so thankfully the main event and Regal matches were both pretty good. It’s a watchable but also skippable show, which is likely going to be the case next week as well.

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Smackdown – November 3, 2006: I Knew He Could Act

Smackdown
Date: November 3, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday and that means it is time for one more final push towards the Champion of Champions match. I’m not sure what that is going to entail this week, but it’s not like Smackdown has very much to do with the pay per view in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Rey Mysterio, on a crutch, to open things up. Rey talks about how he lost the I Quit match two weeks ago, with a clip of Chavo Guerrero smashing his knee making him a bit more emotional. He has never quit on the fans because they have never quit on him. The fans made him believe that anything is possible when he won the Royal Rumble and the World Heavyweight Title…and here are Chavo and Vickie Guerrero to interrupt.

Vickie even brings the chair into the ring (I love the idea of them carrying a chair around for two weeks). Chavo wants Rey to quit again but would also like him to autograph the chair. Rey doesn’t think so but Chavo turning the chair around to reveal the words I QUIT on the back makes it worse. Chavo beats Rey down and hits him in the knee but Chris Benoit runs in to stop Vickie from getting in his own shot. This is a good story, though having it focus on Chavo Guerrero makes it a little difficult.

KC James/Idol Stevens vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Non-title and Michelle McCool/Ashley are here as the thirds. London and Kendrick clean house to start with London hitting a dive to take out James on the floor. Back in and Kendrick gets punched down, with James hitting a backbreaker for two. A backdrop gets Kendrick out of trouble though and it’s off to London to clean house. Everything breaks down and Kendrick has to dive back in for a save. London is right back with a step up shooting star press for the pin on James.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick are one of the better tag teams in a long time around here but there is only so much that can be done when they have faced and beaten the same teams over and over now. The division really needs some fresh blood, but that has been the case with both tag team divisions for a long time now.

Teddy Long wants to protect King Booker and Queen Sharmell just in case Booker gets to defend the World Title at Cyber Sunday. He even has a special room ready for the two of them, plus a special guard at the door: Batista. Booker doesn’t seem to think much of him so Batista pins him against the wall. Batista wants to get his hands on Finlay so tonight, no one is getting to Booker.

The Marine is STILL a thing.

MVP and Mr. Kennedy get in an argument before their tag match against the Brothers of Destruction.

Clips from the Cyber Sunday press conference.

MVP/Mr. Kennedy vs. Brothers of Destruction

We get the long form entrances and Kennedy seems to understand he is in some trouble here. Kane starts for the team so Kennedy tags out before anything happens (save for some sneering). The big right hands and uppercuts rock MVP in the corner but Kane charges into an elbow in the corner. Kennedy comes in and gets kicked in the face, allowing Undertaker to come in for a change. It’s back to MVP who hits a right hand, allowing him to run back to Kennedy.

Everything breaks down and the Brothers clean house in a hurry, which is enough for MVP and Kennedy to take the countout. Cue Teddy Long to say we’re restarting this with no countouts. Back from a break with the Brothers taking turns slamming MVP until Kane hits a powerslam for two. Undertaker slugs away and there’s Old School to take MVP down again. There’s the side slam from Kane into the top rope clothesline. Kennedy distracts Undertaker and the chase is on, including a low blow to Kane for the DQ.

Long comes out to restart it again, this time with no countout or DQ. The big brawl is on with MVP and Kennedy being beaten up all over again. The Brothers drop them onto the announcers’ table and we go back inside for some running corner clotheslines. JBL loses his mind as the Brothers are trying to one up each other, which is quite the visual. Kennedy gets in an ax handle to Kane and MVP hammers away as we get back to something close to a normal match.

A dropkick sends Kane into the corner but a quick powerslam allows the hot tag off to Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot gives us a bit of Brotherly miscommunication and a shrug from Kane in a funny bit. Everything breaks down again and Undertaker is knocked down, leaving Kane to take a double DDT. That means a double sit up into a double chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Kennedy.

Rating: C. This felt like a Welcome To Smackdown match for Kennedy and MVP, though it isn’t like losing to the Brothers is going to hurt them long term. This was a rather nice beatdown with MVP and Kennedy getting in their shots where they could. Odds are these guys aren’t done, but putting MVP and Kennedy in there with these two is going to give them a nice rub.

King Booker goes to get a drink but Batista says not so fast. Apparently people from ECW are waiting for Booker so he sticks around.

Gregory Helms vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and Amy from the Diva Search is here in the tied off shirt and Daisy Dukes. Yang shoulders Helms down as JBL makes jokes about how Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Helms is back with a suplex into a chinlock but Yang makes the clothesline comeback. There’s a spinwheel kick to Helms but here’s Sylvan to distract the referee, allowing Helms to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Hey did you know that Helms has been the champ for the better part of ever and Yang is a redneck? Not that these things are going to have much to do with each other because the title is worthless, but it seemed worthy of a mention. That would be about as much as the title means in WWE’s eyes at least.

Post match here’s Matt Hardy to go after Helms, with the heroes standing tall. You can’t say they aren’t throwing things at the wall here.

Sharmell needs to use the restroom but doesn’t want Batista to hear her. Booker doesn’t get the idea but don’t worry because she can just cross her legs.

Even more on the Marine.

Miz/Kristal vs. Vito/Layla

Vito was in a Playgirl photo shoot this week, sending JBL into another panic over Cole knowing and the shoot. Miz hides in the corner to start but comes back with some left hands. A backdrop puts Miz down and lets Vito put the dress over his head. The women come in and Kristal gets a quick rollup to pin Ashley.

Post match here’s Boogeyman and Kristal gets the worms treatments. Cue the screaming as Miz runs off.

Sharmell tries to calm Booker down but Batista leaves to go take care of the ECW guys. We see Batista faking a fight in the hallway and then coming back in to see Booker while sipping at some water.

Controversy Creates Cash is still around.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jamie Noble

Before the match, here’s Tatanka with a new look to watch on. Lashley throws Noble around to start, hits a belly to belly, and finishes with the running powerslam in just over a minute.

Post match Tatanka says he and his people are owed an explanation. He has been cheated over the last few years, just like his people. The spirits of his forefathers have given him a new warrior spirit and if Lashley wants to fight, he will be at war with a nation of warriors.

Batista takes Booker and Sharmell to the limo, where some ECW guys do actually attack. House is cleaned in a hurry though and the limo gets away. Batista says it’s time to deal with something personal.

Post break here’s Batista to call out Finlay. The brawl is on in the aisle until referees break it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not exactly a strong show, but they were in a weird spot with two matches to build towards and little more. It was cool seeing Undertaker and Kane together once again as that always feels like a treat, but it isn’t like there was anything overly great here. It isn’t quite a throwaway show, but there is nothing worth going out of your way to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – October 13, 2006: They Did It Right

Smackdown
Date: October 13, 2006
Location: Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are done with No Mercy and King Booker is still the World Champion. With that show out of the way, Booker has a new issue to deal with in the forms of John Cena and Big Show as we move towards Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match. We still have some stuff to get through first though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a No Mercy recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to get things going. A month ago, he asked to be sent to Raw because he is out of competition around here. The only one left was the Undertaker and Kennedy beat him at No Mercy. Long still won’t give him his release so tonight he’s defending the US Title, and if he wins, he’s off to Raw.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is defending and gets knocked into the corner in a hurry to start. Benoit hammers away and gets one off the snap suplex. The threat of the Crossface sends Kennedy over to the rope so Benoit chops him in the corner. Benoit is bleeding from the mouth as he fires off some knees to the ribs. The release German suplex sends Kennedy out to the floor but this time he gets in some shots to the back.

That’s about it for the offense though as Benoit slams him back inside and tries the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Benoit settles for a side suplex for two instead. Benoit drops him ribs first onto the top rope and then slams Kennedy off the top. The Swan Dive connects and now the Sharpshooter goes on but Benoit switches to the Crossface, allowing Kennedy to make the rope.

We take a break and come back with Benoit hitting a headbutt in the corner. Kennedy manages to send him shoulder first into the post though and then does it again for two. The logical armbar goes on but Benoit is back up with another failed Sharpshooter attempt. Kennedy goes back to the arm so Benoit kicks him in the head (the simple escapes are often the best) but the armbar goes on again. Then the gong sounds and Benoit uses the distraction to grab the German suplex. Cue Undertaker as Benoit rolls the German suplexes into the Crossface for the tap and the title.

Rating: C+. I’m not wild on the distraction setting up the finish but at least it wasn’t just a rollup for the title. Kennedy losing off the bat like this was a surprise but continuing a feud with Undertaker is a bigger deal than having the US Title at the moment. Kennedy can talk his way up the ladder as well as anyone so he’s going to be fine no matter what he does. Benoit is always good as the midcard champion so this works out for everyone.

This Week In Wrestling History: Steve Austin fills Vince McMahon’s Corvette with cement.

We look at Vince McMahon announcing the Champion of Champions match.

Teddy Long reminds King Booker that he will defend the World Title next week on Smackdown, which Booker does not like. Tonight it’s Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley for next week’s title shot.

Vito vs. William Regal

Vito has a fur wrap to go with the dress. Regal hammers away in the corner as Cole says Vito and Regal shared a shower at No Mercy. They’re out on the floor in a hurry where Regal kicks him in the face, much to JBL’s delight. Back in and Vito fights out of a full nelson so Regal settles for a half nelson suplex instead.

A crossface has Vito bailing to the rope as JBL continues to take every shot he can at Vito. Regal gets kicked in the face so Vito can pull the dress up, only to miss a top rope elbow. As JBL complains about the closeups of Vito and the far shots of Michelle McCool, Vito sits down on a sunset flip attempt for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if it is a good or bad thing that Vito is being moved up the ladder but it’s better than having him do the same things over and over again. This time he’s doing the same things against better opponents, or at least opponents who can play off of the comedy a bit better. JBL’s rants would not fly today, but they are still fairly funny, just for how much he freaks out every time.

Bobby Lashley is ready for the triple threat tonight and loves the pressure.

Here is MVP to say there is no competition for him here. He beat a world renowned fighting machine at No Mercy and the fans call him a Power Ranger (MVP: “That’s cool.”). MVP wants an opponent who will make him break a sweat tonight so here’s Teddy Long to introduce said opponent.

MVP vs. Kane

This is Kane’s Smackdown debut after losing a Loser Leaves Raw match. MVP stretches a lot and JBL yells at him to get on with it already. Kane hammers on him before the bell and beats him so badly that MVP bails, meaning no match. JBL getting on MVP is a different way to go and I kind of like it.

John Cena trained with some Marines and it was hard.

Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to watch and we are joined in progress after a break. Jamie knocks him down in the corner as the EDDIE chants are out in full again. Some forearms and knees to the face set up a chinlock on Rey as the chants switch to 619. Back up and Rey counters a sunset flip into a kick to the head and nails a Lionsault for two. The hurricanrana out of the corner sets up the springboard seated senton but Noble is back with a rollup for two of his own. Not that it matters as Rey hits the 619 and Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C. These two are going to have a good match against almost anyone and they were fine here. It was clear that they were just setting up whatever was going to take place after the match with Chavo but they didn’t fly through it for the sake of getting to the angle. Noble continues to be a good hand in a tag team or on his own and that is a good thing to have on the roster.

Post match Chavo mockingly praises Rey’s win but blames Rey for bringing him out of retirement. These two cannot survive on Smackdown so let’s have an I Quit match next week. Rey isn’t sure as he has already beaten Chavo twice. Vickie questions Rey’s manhood so the match is on.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Wang Yang vs. KC James/Idol Stevens/Sylvan

Ashley and Michelle McCool are here too. Kendrick and Sylvan start things off but everything breaks down in a hurry with London and Kendrick hitting the stereo dives to the floor. Back in and Sylvan blasts Kendrick with a clothesline as JBL talks about McCool holding a yard stick. Everything breaks down in a hurry with London diving onto James. That leaves Yang to hit a moonsault press to finish Sylvan.

Rating: C+. This was a rather short match but it was all action, as you might have expected from most of the people involved. London and Kendrick can work well with anyone but they need some fresh opponents after beating the Pitbulls and James/Stevens over and over. I’m not sure who that is going to be, but it’s nice to have such skilled champions.

Raw Rebound.

Finlay doesn’t like Cole suggesting he might not win tonight. He’ll win tonight and become World Champion next week.

Batista promises to win too.

Batista vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

The winner gets a shot at King Booker, on commentary here, next week. Finlay doesn’t like being left out of the early staredown so they both deck him. That lets Batista take Lashley into the corner but Lashley whips him into the corner as well. A collision gives us a double knockdown so Finlay comes back in and sends Batista outside. Lashley is back up with some clotheslines for two, with the Leprechaun coming in for a distraction. That sends Lashley out in pursuit and we take a break.

Back with Finlay chinlocking Lashley while Batista is down after being posted while we were away. Batista gets back in and cleans house, including a running clothesline to put Finlay on the floor. The Batista Bomb is broken up and they all head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table. Finlay and Lashley jump Batista in a smart move and then put him through the table in a smarter one.

Booker is VERY pleased by this as Finlay (Booker: “He’s a turncoat!”) clotheslines Lashley down for two. Lashley is back with some shots to the ribs but Batista makes the save. Finlay beats Batista up on the floor again, including a good looking kick to the face. Batista is back up with a spear to Lashley, leaving Finlay to take the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb (Booker: “NO!!!!!!”) for the pin.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t a ton of doubt on the ending here as Batista vs. Booker is the big showdown that needs to happen again. The good thing here though is the other two are more than capable of having a power match like this and they all beat each other up rather well. Throw in Booker’s hilarious panicking on commentary and they had a nice match here.

Booker is told that Big Show and John Cena will be here for the title match next week. The champ is rather upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the show moving here and it was one of their better ones in a bit. It felt like everything mattered here (some more than others) or at least had the energy to make it seem like it mattered. This was a nice way to build off of the pay per view, though it could be a while before we get to anything important with Cyber Sunday being the next big Raw show. At least they have a title match set for next week and then the Champion of Champion match as a bonus. Rather solid show here.

 

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No Mercy 2006 (2021 Redo): The Benefit Of Low Expectations

No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back to the pay per views and this time around it’s another pretty low level one with one of the weaker Smackdown shows. The main event, as of two days ago, is now a four way with King Booker defending his title against Finlay, Batista and Bobby Lashley. Other than that we have Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio in a Falls Count Anywhere match as the second biggest thing on the card. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the four way, with everyone saying it is time for no mercy. It’s not a good sign when there is nothing else to talk about.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Still non-title because the Cruiserweight Title still doesn’t matter. Helms is the hometown boy and Cole goes over their history and tries to put over the idea of the match being the battle of North Carolina. They fight over a headlock to start until Hardy shoulders him down. Matt’s takedown gives us back to back standouts as the fans are behind Hardy. Helms takes him into the corner and stomps away but Hardy is right back with a clothesline.

They head to the floor with Matt hitting a quick slingshot dive to take him out again. Back in and a neckbreaker into a backbreaker puts Hardy down and a super Russian legsweep gives Helms two. Helms grabs a Codebreaker for two more and it’s time to crank on the arm some more. Hardy fights up with a reverse DDT before winning the slugout to take over. Some clotheslines set up the bulldog out of the corner for two and the middle rope legdrop gets the same.

Helms comes back with a reverse Unprettier and then hits it twice more, only to get punched out of the air. Back to back to back Side Effects get two but Hardy’s moonsault hits knees. The Shining Wizard gets two so Hardy gets in a shot to the face and heads up top. That earns him a crotching and running Shining Wizard for two but Hardy is right back with the Twist of Fate for the quick pin.

Rating: B. This was a very nice surprise as I had no interest coming in and they had a heck of a match here. Ignoring everything about the title and how many times we have seen the match now, this was a rather good opener and I dug everything about it. Call it a hidden gem as this was one of the bigger surprises I have seen in a long time.

King Booker needs to focus but also tells William Regal that he needs help tonight. Regal is willing to help and is tasked with getting Finlay to help Booker in the four way. He’s up to the crusade.

Tag Team Titles: KC James/Idol Stevens vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool/Ashley Massaro are here too. Stevens hammers London in the corner but London is right back with a headscissors. Kendrick comes in to crank on the arm as JBL actually compares London and Kendrick to the Simpson Brothers. It’s off to James, who is taken down with a double clothesline and the champs hit stereo dives to the floor.

Back in and McCool offers a distraction, allowing James to shove London off the top and put him in trouble. James hammers away and hands it back to Stevens for a double underhook crank on the mat. London breaks free and goes for the tag but Stevens pulls Kendrick to the floor. The second attempt works a bit better though and it’s Kendrick coming in to clean house.

London hits a dive onto Stevens, leaving James to superplex Kendrick down for a near fall. McCool offers a distraction so the illegal Stevens can hit a chokebreaker to give James two on Kendrick. London breaks up a double suplex and launches Kendrick for a double dropkick. Sliced Bread into a step up shooting star press finishes James to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These guys work well together and London/Kendrick have turned into the latest awesome young high fliers. That’s the kind of thing that is always going to have a place in the wrestling world and they have looked great for a long time now. They could use some fresh competition but they have earned a spot on a pay per view like this one.

William Regal goes to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress jumping rope (Regal: “You’re sweating like Vince McMahon in a church.”). Vito pulls up his dress to reveal the thong, freaking out Regal (who is jumping rope and singing London Bridge) and making him fall into the concession stand.

Teddy Long is in the ring with a cake and a huge birthday present for the birthday boy…..The Miz! Cue Miz, who shouts a lot of HOO-RAH’s, but Long has something for him: that would be Layla, who is barely concealing her rather limited clothing. She has Miz sit down and the lap dance is on, then blindfolds him (with Miz talking about whips and chains). Cue the most obvious payoff in the world, freaking Miz out as he sees who is dancing in front of him next. Layla and Big Dick Johnson dance together as Miz runs.

MVP vs. ???

This is MVP’s in-ring debut and he has the big inflatable tunnel for his entrance. Before the match, MVP talks about how great he is, though the fans chant POWER RANGER at his offense. The opponent is a rather skinny man named Marty Garner, who is slapped down before the bell. MVP takes him down and rides him a bit, followed by a snapmare of all things for two. The fans call this boring and MVP snaps a bit, setting up the yet to be named Playmaker for the fast pin. JBL really doesn’t seem to like him.

Regal is in a towel after the shower but Vito comes in to freak him out again. That sends Regal running off with the towel falling off. Teddy Long isn’t pleased and puts Regal in a match for later. This was a bit of a problem as Regal’s penis was accidentally exposed for a split second during the segment and WWE had to apologize.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy isn’t scared of Undertaker’s power, as we put a completely fresh spin on an Undertaker feud.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Non-title and for some reason we wait about thirty seconds for the referee to ask if they are ready. Undertaker charges at him to start and sends the arm into the corner. That’s enough to send Kennedy outside for a breather so Undertaker sends the arm into the post this time. Back in and Old School is countered with an armdrag, which commentary is sure has never happened before.

Kennedy stomps away in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for two. Undertaker is knocked to the apron though and Kennedy drives him into the apron to take over again. Another shot knocks him off the apron again and a DDT out of the ropes catches Undertaker on the way back in. The running crotch attack to the back of the neck gets two and Kennedy slowly pounds on him.

Kennedy grabs a piledriver, which freaks commentary out, partially because they call it a Tombstone. That’s good for a pair of twos so it’s off to a chinlock to keep Undertaker in trouble. Undertaker is right back up to win the slugout and there’s the jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Kennedy grabs the referee to block the chokeslam.

Kennedy’s neckbreaker gets two but Undertaker is right back with the chokeslam for two. Back up and Kennedy sends him into the exposed buckle, setting up the Kenton Bomb for two more. Kennedy goes to get his title and leave but Undertaker takes it away and hits him for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the fairly weak ending, but I will absolutely take that over a champion losing again. They could come back with a rematch in a few weeks, though it isn’t like the title is doing anything for Kennedy in the first place. Undertaker did give him a good bit here and that’s always nice to see when there is a chance to put someone over.

Post match Undertaker beats up the referee to blow off some steam.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Chavo claimed that Rey was sponging off of the Guerrero name (fair) and cost him the World Title. The feud ensued and this time it’s Falls Count Anywhere.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo and it is Falls Count Anywhere. Chavo elbows him down to start but Rey slips out of a rollup and hammers away. The EDDIE chants begin as they head up top and then both crash down for the double knockdown. That’s enough of the ring so they fight up to the entrance with Rey having to hurricanrana his way out of a powerbomb.

Rey knocks him into the barricade but is quickly Gory Bombed onto the same barricade to put them both down again. Chavo is draped over another barricade for a clothesline to the back of the head but Chavo sends him head first into some hockey boards for two. There’s a head first swing into a chair and it’s time to fight into the crowd.

Rey gets in a few shots to the face and runs off the barricade to hit the seated senton for two more. They fight towards the ring, with the camera being knocked around quite a bit each time. It’s finally into a bit of a clearing for a 619, setting up a crossbody off of a tunnel to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C-. This was only so good though they needed to have a more violent match/brawl like this one. Chavo is somehow managing to overcome a career that has not seen him as a major player for the most part so it was nice to see him working this well in such a role. That being said, it was a lot of walking around and punching, so they were only going to get so far.

Post match Vickie is REALLY not pleased.

William Regal vs. ???

The mystery opponent is….Chris Benoit, who is making a rather long awaited return. Benoit drives him into the corner to start so Regal start in on the arm. A headlock takeover has Regal down but Benoit fights up and wristlocks his way to freedom. Back up and the test of strength lets Regal bridge on his neck and then flip backwards, only to get caught in a bodyscissors.

Regal steps on the arm to get out so Benoit chops him into the rolling German suplexes. A headbutt busts them both open and Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two. They head to the apron to tease the super German suplex but Regal knocks him out to the floor instead. That’s fine with Benoit, who tries the Sharpshooter but gets kicked in the face for the block. Something like a hybrid dragon sleeper/abdominal stretch has Benoit in more trouble but he slips out and hammers on Regal’s cut.

Some suplexes send Benoit flying but the Regal Stretch attempt is countered into a Crossface attempt, which sends Regal to the ropes. Back up and Regal ties the legs up to put on a dragon sleeper for some hard neck cranking. That doesn’t last long as Benoit grabs a dragon suplex and puts on the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: B. These two beat each other up for a long while and it if had some more time, it could have been a classic. Benoit hasn’t missed a beat and I don’t think anyone was expecting anything else. These two have always worked very well together and they made it work here again. Heck of a match and it’s very nice to see Benoit back.

In the back, King Booker yells at Regal for not finding Finlay and doesn’t want to hear excuses. Finlay comes up to say he’s here to fight for the title so Booker yells at him as he leaves. Booker yells at Regal and tells him to get out, including a slap to the face. Regal drops him with one left hand.

We recap the main event. King Booker is World Champion and was scheduled to defend against Bobby Lashley. Then Teddy Long added Batista and Finlay to make it a four way earlier this week.

Batista and Bobby Lashley will see each other out there.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Batista

Booker, with Queen Sharmell, is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Finlay gets knocked outside to start so Booker gets double teamed in the corner until Finlay runs back in for the save. Lashley is tossed as well, leaving Batista to take the double teaming for a change. Finlay and Batista head to the floor so Lashley comes back in with a spinebuster for two on Booker.

Batista takes Lashley’s place so Finlay and Booker double team him down again. An elbow to the face drops Batista but Finlay jumps Booker, sending JBL over the edge. Finlay sends him face first into the apron and then sits on his chest for two back inside. Batista comes back in and gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar. A Samoan drop doesn’t get Batista out of trouble though as Finlay switches to a keylock, followed by a half crab to Lashley.

That’s broken up as well and Booker kicks Finlay in the face for two. It’s Lashley up with a gorilla press gutbuster for two on Finlay. That draws out the Leprechaun for a low blow, setting up Finlay’s Shillelagh shot to Lashley. Batista is back in with a Jackhammer to Booker but has to knock Finlay down. We’re down to Batista vs. Lashley, with the former nailing a fast spear for two.

Batista is busted open off of what might have been an accidental collision so Lashley hits him with a spinebuster. Finlay pulls Batista to the floor, leaving Booker to grab the Book End for two on Lashley. A kick to the face gets two more but it’s Batista back in for spinebusters all around. The Batista Bomb hits Finlay but Lashley spears Batista, allowing Booker to pin Finlay to retain.

Rating: B-. It was a smart move to let them all get in there and do their things in shorter bursts than trying to have something coherent for all four of them. Booker retaining is fine, even if it seems pretty clear that he is just keeping the title war for Batista. This was a well put together match and they went with the best way out of it that they had available. Nice job here, especially for a match with about two days’ announcement.

Overall Rating: B. Where the heck did this come from? This was in and out in a hurry at just over two and a half hours with three very good matches included. WWE has a strong track record of surprises when it comes to shows like this, as the card looked terrible coming in. Maybe it is the lack of expectations but what we got here worked rather well and that was a great surprise.

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Smackdown – September 22, 2006: Welcome To The New Home

Smackdown
Date: September 22, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re now officially on the way to No Mercy and we even have a main event for the show. Last week Bobby Lashley became the new #1 contender to King Booker, but tonight Booker has to face Vito. That’s what we’re getting on a Season Premiere as the show moves to a new network with the CW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell come in to see Teddy Long. They don’t like that Booker’s hands are going to be sullied by a match with Vito because everything they have is the finest. After a look at Sharmell’s gown, Teddy has good news for them: Vito has stepped aside and Undertaker will face him instead. The accents are dropped in a hurry and panic sets in. So why advertise Vito when you could advertise Undertaker?

New opening sequence, featuring the wrestlers turning into comic book style caricatures.

William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Batista wants to start with Finlay but gets jumped by Regal instead. That goes as well as you would expect for Regal, who gets sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Finlay runs away from Batista on the floor so Batista settles for a spinebuster to Regal instead. Lashley comes in for a double delayed vertical suplex (not bad) and a snap suplex gets two on Regal. It’s off to Finlay, who gets caught in a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker but a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor.

Regal nails a clothesline and the villains (you know they’re villains because Regal’s trunks say “villain”) take over with Finlay dropping some elbows. It’s back to Finlay, who mocks Lashley for not being able to make the tag and kicks him in the ribs like an evil one would do. Regal’s t-bone suplex gets two as JBL talks about how much he can’t stand the French, Canadians or French Canadians. Regal jumps Batista on the apron so Batista comes in sans tag and cleans house. The Shillelagh is taken away from Regal so Lashley can nail the spear for the pin.

Rating: C. Nicely done here as they give Lashley a bit of a boost and let Batista vs. Finlay stay on the burner, likely for a showdown at No Mercy. They didn’t have much time here but the formula can work out well in short bursts too so this worked out fine. Good choice for an opener on the new network too, with a star like Batista and a hard hitting fight to give Lashley some nice exposure.

Here’s Layla, who promises to make Smackdown hot and dances a lot. Cue Krystal to say not so fast because she’s the hot one, meaning the brawl is on. Jillian Hall runs in for the save and rips off Krystal’s top. Then she rips off Layla’s top, followed by her own. And we move on.

Long video on Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero being friends/family and then splitting up over Chavo and Vickie Guerrero not liking Rey cashing in on the Guerrero name. Still a totally fair point.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. They go straight at it with Helms being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Helms slips out of something off the top and snaps Hardy throat first across the top. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and an elbow drop gets the same. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Helms hits what would eventually become the Codebreaker for two more.

Hardy jawbreaks his way out of another chinlock and grabs the Side Effect for two. A moonsault press gets two on more on Helms, who is right back with the Shining Wizard for the same. Helms goes for the turnbuckle pad so the referee puts it back on, allowing Hardy to hit a low blow into the rollup pin (ala Helms last week).

Rating: C. Hardy doing the same thing to Helms as the previous week was a nice touch, but I’m still not sure what the point of this feud is if Hardy can’t (and doesn’t seem interested in) win the Cruiserweight Title. The wrestling was fine enough, but it feels like we’re going in circles here. I know the title doesn’t mean anything, so why is it even a thing at this point?

Miz promises to win his next match.

Jimmy Wang Yang thought about debuting tonight but doesn’t feel very comfortable in Montreal. Not too many rednecks you see, so we’ll do it in Oklahoma next week.

Miz vs. Funaki

They fight over wrist control to start with Miz wristdragging him down. Another takedown sets up a suplex, followed by the Mizard of Oz (which lands in a reverse DDT this time instead of a neckbreaker) to keep Miz undefeated. Keeping Miz short is the right idea at the moment.

Rey Mysterio has had it with the Guerreros and today is the first day of the rest of his life.

Video on the Marine.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. They start fast again with Rey hammering away to take it to the floor. The fight goes into the crowd with Rey still getting the better of things until his hurricanrana is sent into the barricade. Things go back into the crowd and Rey sends him into the barricade over and over. Rey doesn’t seem to notice that the referee is telling him it’s over and they get back to ringside with Chavo getting kicked in the ribs. Vickie throws Chavo a chair, which Rey dropkicks off his face. Vickie’s interference doesn’t work as Rey hammers away again and referees come in to break it up. I’m not sure this was a match.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match as it was much more of a brawl than anything else, but I want to see these two fight again, which is a lot more than I could say coming in. You could feel the anger and hatred here and that’s the best thing that could happen in a segment like this. Good stuff and I’m sure No Mercy waits for them.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show. I think you can get why she has a job.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. It’s a brawl to start with James, Kendrick and Noble getting things going. The Pitbulls beat on Stevens and Kash pounds him down for two. Stevens breaks that up and Kash gets knocked down into the corner, including a snapmare for two more.

Kendrick comes back and hammers away, allowing the hot tag off to London to pick the pace way up. A dropkick gets two on Stevens with the Pit Bulls making the save. Michelle gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Kash brainbusters London. Sliced Bread takes Kash down but Stevens hits a heck of a spinebuster on Kendrick. Noble sends him outside and rolls London up, only to get reversed into another rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. As the champs tend to do, they got in and out without wasting time and had a high energy match. They really have become one of the most consistently entertaining things on Smackdown and this should be the blowoff to the three way feud. I’m sure it won’t be because there aren’t any other teams to come after them, but at least they had a nice match here.

Elijah Burke introduces Sylvester Terkay. Sylvester: “I’m Sylvester Terkay.” End of segment.

Video on Batista visiting the Philippines.

Here’s Sylvan to a crazy hero’s welcome and he seems fired up to be here. After saying something in French, we’re ready to go.

Sylvan vs. Tatanka

Sylvan chops away to start but Tatanka comes back with some right hands and is booed out of the building. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Sylvan is back with a spinebuster. There’s a dropkick to put Tatanka down again and a spinning belly to back slam gets two more. Tatanka tries a sunset flip but Sylvan sits down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was nothing to see here but WOW that crowd was behind Sylvan. That is the kind of thing that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, but thankfully WWE was smart enough to capitalize on it once. Let the fans have something to cheer and let a scrub like Tatanka take another loss. This was nice to see and I don’t get to say that very often.

John Cena visits Teddy Long and thanks him for the contract offer that was ready had Cena lost at Unforgiven. Long has an idea: Cena visits Smackdown next week and teams with Batista and Bobby Lashley against William Regal/Finlay/King Booker. Cena is in and leaves so Long dances in celebration.

No Mercy rundown with Batista vs. Finlay and Mysterio vs. Guerrero announced.

King Booker vs. Undertaker

Non-title, Sharmell is here with Booker and Mr. Kennedy is on commentary. Kennedy gets freaked out by Undertaker’s entrance and JBL isn’t much better. Undertaker strikes away to start and knocks Booker to the floor early on. We take a break and come back with Undertaker hammering away even more, setting up the knuckle lock lift to have Booker in more trouble. The arm is wrapped around the top rope but Old School is broken up.

A Sharmell distraction lets Booker grab a superplex and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Booker knocks him outside for a ram into the steps, followed by a DDT for two. The side kick misses though and Undertaker hits a jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Booker is back with the jumping kick to the face. Undertaker is right back to load up the Tombstone but Booker slips out and hits a low blow for the DQ.

Rating: C. As has been the case almost all night, this was all about making an appearance rather than the match itself. Undertaker being in the ring is still a treat and it was a good idea to have him on a special show. These two haven’t always had the best chemistry but they weren’t out there very long and it’s not like the bad finish came after a pay per view title match.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to throw Booker back inside, meaning it’s a chokeslam and Tombstone. Undertaker stares down at Kennedy to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where the wrestling did not really matter but the presentation was very good. For a season premiere on a new network, they did a great job of keeping things moving and having all of the big names come in and out throughout the show. They set up things both for the pay per view and next week so some fans might want to come back again. I don’t get impressed by WWE very often but they did a rather nice job here and that’s great to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – September 8, 2006: What Should Have Been

Smackdown
Date: September 8, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We have a major match this time around as Batista is challenging Booker T. for the World Title in a rematch from Summerslam. In other words, this is the big special edition episode since there is no Smackdown pay per view this month. These things have hit and miss results but hopefully they can live up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

JBL and Cole are on their feet for their intro this week. I don’t remember the last time I saw that. Anyway they preview the main event.

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey is a bit shaken up after what Chavo and Vickie Guerrero have been up to as of late. The Leprechaun is seen looking from underneath the ring skirt during Rey’s entrance. Eh fair enough as it’s not like he’s a surprise most of the time. Finlay powers him around to start so Rey kicks at the knee in a smart move. That earns him a hard atomic drop to cut him down again, allowing Finlay to wrestle him down without much effort. The headlock goes on for a bit, followed by a gutwrench suplex for two on Rey.

We take a break and come back with Rey still not all there and getting put into a nerve hold as a result. That lasts all of five seconds as Rey is back up with a headscissors for two, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe. A backbreaker out of the corner gets two and Finlay drives him back first into the corner again.

The some city in Ireland crab goes on but Rey gets a leg out and kicks Finlay in the face. That doesn’t work on someone as mean as Finlay, so he switches to a kneeling half crab. Rey fights up again and starts kicking at the leg for the real comeback, including the springboard seated senton for two. Another springboard doesn’t work though as Rey slips and it’s the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting way to go as Rey was messed up in the head and Finlay was good enough to take advantage of what happened. Rey vs. the Guerreros seems like it could be a long form story but it is also nice to see Finlay getting a boost out of it. He has had a nice run in WWE so far and I could go for seeing a lot more of it soon.

Post match JBL gets in the ring to ask Rey what’s wrong (or asking why the Guerreros think Rey is a piece of garbage) but Rey leaves without saying anything.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Danny Giamondo

Non-title and Kennedy says Giamondo is a former Olympic silver medalist in power lifting and a six time NCAA Champion. Cole can’t find any of that information anywhere, even as Kennedy takes him into the ropes and chokes on the rope. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Giamondo fights up and hammers away in the corner. That’s about it though as Kennedy blocks a superplex attempt and hits the Green Bay Plunge to win.

Post match Kennedy calls out Teddy Long to say he might go to Raw if John Cena comes to Smackdown. Long doesn’t like that, so Kennedy can face the Undertaker at No Mercy. It’s a meme for a reason.

Video on the Marine.

Michelle McCool/Teacher’s Pets vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Ashley Massaro

Stevens and London start things off with neither being able to get very far off a headlock. James comes in and gets his arm cranked, with everyone getting a shot in on said arm. Stevens low bridges London to the floor though and it’s a chinlock back inside. London grabs a rollup for two and gets over for the hot tag to Kendrick. Everything breaks down with the women getting in a fight, with the focus being on the skirts flying up. Kendrick comes off the top with a sunset flip to James, with London adding a dropkick so Kendrick can get the pin.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here but the women being there does keep the match feeling different enough. The tag team division is hardly deep at the moment but there are enough teams out there for London and Kendrick to face for the next few….ok maybe not months but they should be fine at least through No Mercy. If nothing else, London and Kendrick are fun to watch.

Video on King Booker.

Vito comes out to do commentary for William Regal’s match. Regal comes out to say this was supposed to be against Vito, but after last week, Regal was considering a sexual harassment lawsuit. As Vito shows off his legs, we have a replacement.

William Regal vs. Bobby Lashley

Vito is on commentary as Lashley powers Regal into the corner to start and then pulls him back inside. Regal is sent outside and Vito pulls up the dress to show off the thong. That’s enough to have Regal panicking again so he pulls Lashley face first into the steps instead. Back in and Regal slugs away in the corner, only to charge into a boot to the face. Lashley can’t hit the powerslam but he can hit the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was more about Vito, so at least he’s doing something other than beating up jobbers. It’s still not exactly a story that has any kind of legs to the whole thing but I’ll take any kind of a change over the same stuff if it has to be around. I’m not sure how long this is going to go, but Regal and Vito could have some comedy possibilities.

Post match JBL runs away from Vito’s handshake. Lashley shakes his hand though and there’s your endorsement.

The Miz vs. Matt Hardy

Miz insults the crowd before the match, including the local Little League World Series Champions. JBL classes things up by making all kinds of gay jokes about Cole and Vito before switching to something a little better by saying it’s stupid to brag about Miz being undefeated when he’s 1-0.

Matt starts fast by pulling Miz out of the corner into a powerbomb but Miz knocks him down in a hurry. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Miz fights up and hammers away as JBL is ranting about reality TV. Matt’s middle rope elbow to the head gets two and he sends Miz outside for a slingshot dive. Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Gregory Helms to run down and shove Matt off the top. Miz grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. The action worked while it lasted and Miz getting to brag about being undefeated is going to be rather entertaining. I’ve been a fan of the guy for years and it’s fun to see one of the most improbably rises in the history of wrestling. Miz isn’t very good in the ring but he’s a great character and personality and that’s what matters here.

Jimmy Wang Yang is still coming and doesn’t like people think Asians are smart. He got straight B’s!

Chavo Guerrero vs. Tatanka

Vickie Guerrero handles Chavo’s intro and says he is dedicating this match to the Guerrero legacy. Tatanka works on the arm to start but Chavo dropkicks the knee out for a knockdown. Leg cranking ensues as JBL rants about everything Guerrero related he can think of. Tatanka fights back with the chops, including the top rope version. The Papoose To Go connects but Chavo gets his foot on the rope. That’s enough to make Tatanka yell at the referee, allowing Chavo to jump him from behind. The frog splash is enough to finish Tatanka.

Rating: D+. Does Tatanka have photos of Vince with a sheep or something? He’s far from the worst thing around but is there a reason he’s getting on TV week after week? Nothing match of course, but I’m not sure why you would expect anything else. Chavo and Vickie should be fine as a team and odds are they are going to be a focal point for a long time to come.

MVP runs into Teddy Long and says he wants John Cena money to come to Smackdown. Long is tired of dealing with MVP’s lawyers so MVP gets serious, meaning Long has to wipe the spit off of his face.

Video on Batista.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Booker is defending and Queen Sharmell handles the ALL HAIL KING BOOKER’s this week. Before the match, Booker gives Batista a chance to bow down or take this whipping. The bell rings after the break with Batista unloading in a hurry. Batista hammers away in the corner and grabs a keylock of all things.

The shoulders in the corner send Booker bailing to the floor but Batista rams him into a few things for two back inside. Booker gets in a kick to the face for two and is stunned on the kickout. We take a break and come back with Batista unloading on the floor and glaring at Sharmell for daring to get involved. An ax kick to a hanging Batista drops him to the floor and the side slam gets two back inside.

Batista fights back again and hits his own side slam for two more but Booker uses the trunks to send him outside. After decking William Regal in the crowd, Batista comes back in with the spinebuster. Sharmell grabs a chair so the referee deals with her, allowing Finlay to come in with the Shillelagh shot to the head to retain the title.

Rating: C. One of the good things about these major shows is they build things up well enough to make you believe that something could happen. I’m not sure they need to do Batista vs. Booker III at No Mercy but Batista vs. Finlay could be a heck of a power match. Booker will likely have to face Batista again but I’m not sure if that happens so soon.

Post match Finlay unloads with the Shillelagh to bust Batista open. A shot into the exposed turnbuckle and a chair to the head leave a pretty bloody Batista laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one as there was nothing overly great on the show but they had enough stuff going on to keep my interest. In other words, it is a show that felt like it had a lot of good things to pick from but it didn’t wind up working out in the end. Smackdown continues to trot out some fresher, younger wrestlers though and that makes for a pretty quick two hours. Not a great show, but an easy one to watch.

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