Lucha Underground – July 12, 2017: Battle of the Best
Lucha Underground Date: July 12, 2017 Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
It’s time for the second round of the Cueto Cup as we’re down to sixteen names. Hopefully that means the end of the squashes which dominated so much of the first round. You can probably guess the winner fairly easily but it’s nice to have some good matches along the way. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the tournament and some first round matches.
Cueto Cup Second Round: Jeremiah Crane vs. Taya
Taya turns up the sex appeal to land an early slap but Crane does the same, minus the sex appeal that is. That sends Taya outside for a suicide elbow, followed by a run around the ring for a flip dive to drive Taya through a chair. Back up and Taya knocks him off the barricade for a dive of her own.
She hammers on Crane back inside, followed by a running boot in the corner as Striker is losing his mind here despite it not being that big of a deal. A series of strikes to the head drops Taya again but she plants him with a tornado DDT for two of her own. Cue Sexy Star for a distraction though and it’s Cranial Contusion to send Crane to the next round at 6:25.
Rating: C. They were beating the heck out of each other here and it was nice to see Taya getting in some offense and hanging in there with Crane for a bit but there’s only so far that she’s going to be able to take something like this. At least Crane can get in a big fight in the quarterfinals and move on from here.
Post match Star knocks Taya out with brass knuckles.
Fenix and Aero Star talk about Drago leaving to join the Reptile Tribe. Aero Star, a time traveler, bets on Fenix, who doesn’t find that exactly fair.
Cueto Cup Second Round: Mil Muertes vs. Paul London
London starts dancing to start as we hear about his time in Ring of Honor with Striker mentioning specific matches. After over a minute of walking around, London gets thrown into the corner, meaning it’s time to head outside for a chase. The fans are entirely behind Muertes here as he unloads on London and throws him around with ease. Ten shoulders to the ribs have London in even more trouble but he snaps Muertes’ throat across the top.
That’s fine with Mil, who sends London into the barricade for a crash. A string of superkicks that would make the Young Bucks tell you to turn it down staggers Muertes and a top rope double stomp to the back puts him down again. The swinging chokeslam drops London though but the Rabbit Tribe comes in for a distraction. London gets two off a middle rope shooting star but it’s a spear and the Flatliner to end Paul at 9:29.
Rating: C+. Much like the first match, it was entertaining but did anyone http://onhealthy.net/product-category/erectile-dysfunction/ really buy another ending? London was certainly game here though and that helps a lot, even if there was no way around anything Muertes had for him. Muertes has to be a favorite in this thing but whoever beats him will get a heck of a rub.
Post match London gets the Lick of Death, which he seemed to enjoy. The fans even call him lucky.
Brenda hits on Texano, who buys her a drink. She calls him boring so he breaks a beer bottle in his hand. A woman’s touch could fix that though and Texano smiles.
Cueto Cup Second Round: Fenix vs. Marty Martinez
Melissa Santos still seems to have a crush on Fenix. Marty creepily rubs his stomach but gets dropped as things speed up. Fenix ducks a charge to send him outside for a kick to the face and a running flip dive. Mariposa offers a distraction though and Marty kicks him down, sending Melissa into a bit of fear.
Back in and we hit the chinlock with Marty ripping at the mask a bit. Fenix gets up and hits a good looking (and loud) running kick to the face in the corner, followed by a double stomp for two. A spring flipping moonsault misses though and Marty kicks him in the face for his own near fall.
Marty flips him forward into something like a Codebreaker (cool move) for two more but Fenix gets in a superkick. Mariposa grabs some kind of box that Marty brought with him but, for perhaps the first time ever, Melissa gets physical and blocks the shot, freaking the crowd out even more. The distraction lets Fenix grab a hurricanrana for the pin at 10:19.
Rating: C+. This was more about the storytelling and anything that involved me getting to see more of Melissa Santos, the better. She and Fenix could be interesting and having Marty and Mariposa around to antagonize them should help a lot as well. The match was good too, especial with Fenix flying all over the place like he does.
Post match Marty hits him with the box and pulls out a fork to carve up Fenix’s head as Melissa is forced to watch. Marty even licks the blood to be extra creepy.
Overall Rating: B. Now that’s more what I was looking for. This show featured bigger matches that felt like showdowns and I’m curious to see where some of these matches are going to go. We should have the final eight set up in two weeks and then the tournament finals three to four weeks later. They’re getting through this tournament fairly fast and that’s a good thing. Solid show here and better than the first round stuff.
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Lucha Underground Date: June 28, 2017 Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
Another week, another four first round Cueto Cup matches. In other words, we might be getting one competitive match this week as the tournament hasn’t exactly been thrilling so far. The good thing though is it has been going by quickly, which is more than you can say for a lot of these things. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is a very quick tournament recap, plus looks at Killshot, Dante Fox and Jeremiah Crane.
Catrina tells Mil Muertes to destroy everyone, which he promises to do for her. They kiss and she demands the Cueto Cup. Jeremiah Crane watches from the shadows. You would think the supernatural powers would let them know he’s there.
Cueto Cup First Round: Mil Muertes vs. Veneno
That would be Cortez Castro under a mask as he’s still under cover (literally in this case). Muertes spears him down at the bell and it’s a heck of a stomping early on. The chokeslam and Flatliner send Muertes on at 1:10. Well that worked.
Catrina licks Veneno’s face (er, mask) after the match.
Cueto Cup First Round: Paul London vs. Vibora
London knocks him outside for some palm strikes to the chest but Vibora just stares him down. With that not working, London, I kid you not, holds Kobra Moon hostage with the carrot from his hat. Fans: “SAVE THE CARROT!” They get in for the first time with Vibora throwing London around but getting kicked in the face a few times. Vibora gets sent to the floor for a springboard trust fall but he does the Undertaker situp, only to have the rest of the Rabbit Tribe grab his feet for a countout at 3:54.
Rating: D+. There was a story here with the much younger monster being caught by the pesky and more experienced Rabbit Tribe. The carrot thing was entertaining enough (I have a soft spot for rabbits) and this keeps Vibora looking strong, which could be a good idea going forward.
Cueto Cup First Round: Taya vs. Joey Ryan
Joey does his lollipop schtick and gets kneed in the face for his efforts. Taya throws him back inside by the chest hair but gets superkicked off the apron. Back in and Joey takes too much time going up (with Striker saying this isn’t going to work) and gets slammed right back down. Taya misses a charge in the corner so Joey can give her a bit of a spank. That doesn’t go well as Joey gets suplexed and double stomped to give Taya the pin at 3:38.
Rating: D. Joey is rapidly losing the limited charm he had for me so far as the whole cop thing seems to have been forgotten at the moment. I’m sure they’ll get back to the point later on but for now, he’s just Joey Ryan doing the same stuff he does most of the time, just without the Ironman Heavymetalweight Title.
Jeremiah Crane beats up the suit clad Mil Muertes and seems to Pillmanize his neck because “she’s his”.
Wrestlers give their thoughts on John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio. These videos have been VERY good ideas and it’s made the match feel like the biggest match the promotion has ever had.
Cueto Cup First Round: Jeremiah Crane vs. Killshot
Crane charges into a kick to the head to send him outside for a tumbling flip dive as they’re certainly starting fast. Killshot stays with it and hits a flip dive off the low balcony before hitting Crane in the face. That’s fine with Crane who whips him into the metal wall and grabs an exploder suplex on the floor.
A run around the ring builds up enough momentum for a cannonball through Killshot through some chairs in a sick sounding crash. They change pace by going inside where Killshot kicks him in the face for two. Killshot flips up into a cutter for two but gets caught in a brainbuster for the same. They trade the very loud strikes until both guys are knocked silly on the mat.
For some reason Crane spits in his face, earning himself a DDT out of the corner. With nothing else working, Killshot hits a Death Valley Driver on the apron, immediately followed by the top rope double stomp…for two? Cue Dante Fox for a distraction though, allowing Crane to hit Cranial Contusion (a Jay Driller) for the pin at 13:04.
Rating: B. That’s the match of the tournament so far and the match the tournament needed. So far most of them have been either squash matches or rather boring but these two were beating the heck out of each other and putting in the effort. In other words, it was something very entertaining and that’s a good sign.
Post match Catrina comes out to look at Crane, who blows her a kiss.
Dario Cueto is in his office and freaking out over the brackets so far. There’s a match spot to face Son of Havoc but luckily Dario has someone here to take the match. That would be….Son of Madness, who looks EXACTLY like Son of Havoc and says he’s from the open road. Dario is cool with this because he’s kind of an out there guy.
Overall Rating: C. The main event helped this one a lot as Lucha Underground has gone a few weeks without an especially good match. Thankfully the first round of the tournament wraps up next week and we have something curious to end this week’s show. It’s not a great show by any means but it’s better than what we’ve been seeing lately.
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Smackdown Date: November 18, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is another request and it’s the Smackdown version of the Eddie Guerrero Tribute Show. On top of that, it was also taped the same night as the Raw version (double taping on a Sunday due to the European trip) which was the day Eddie passed away. I’ve grown to respect Eddie a bit more over the years so it should be interesting to see how this goes. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Smackdown World Champion Batista in a low rider to Eddie’s music for a perfect opening. Batista immediately starts crying and says he’s not sure he’s the right man to be out here. All he knows is that Eddie loved his family and loved this business. He had a lot of demons to deal with but the pain went away when he walked through that curtain. Batista has to pause a bit to fight back the tears and you can feel the real emotion here. Eddie is with God now and Batista isn’t going to let anyone ever forget him.
Eddie video set to 3 Doors Down’s Here Without You. They’re my favorite band so this is about as perfect as it’s going to get. Above all else though: that frog splash was a thing of beauty.
Clip from the Eddie documentary focusing on his childhood and family. It’s kind of weird to hear Eddie talking about his brothers and sister.
The low rider, with Batista’s title on the hood, will be in the aisle all night.
Matt Hardy vs. Carlito
This is interpromotional as Carlito is from Raw. As you’re probably going to guess, these matches aren’t going to mean a thing. Matt is freshly on Smackdown after losing the feud with Edge on Raw. It’s so strange to see Matt looking absolutely svelte. He’s probably 30 pounds lighter than he is today and looks great. Matt grabs the afro to start but gets sent outside to give Carlito control.
The announcers aren’t even bothering with the match as they’re just telling Eddie stories for a nice touch. Carlito loads up the middle rope legdrop but dives into a raised boot (still hate that spot). The Side Effect gives Matt two but Carlito grabs the Backstabber for the same. Matt comes right back with the real middle rope legdrop and the Twist of Fate is good for the win.
Rating: C. This is a good indication of how this night is going and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no need to try and make this show mean anything storyline wise so just go out there, have decent matches, and give the fans something to smile about. Good little match here too.
Vince gives a tribute to Eddie, who was a true craftsman. He actually tears up talking about how much Eddie loved his family, both blood and co-workers.
Another documentary clip talking about Eddie meeting Vickie then marrying, losing and getting her back.
Road Warrior Animal/Heidenreich vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch
I still have issues calling Animal and Heidenreich the LOD. This is another interpromotional match, which is probably going to be a trend all night. Cade and Heidenreich start things off with the cowboy being taken down off a hard clothesline. The announcers get in a debate over which Tag Team Titles belong on which show (which is why I just go with the show’s name and ignore the official names) as a cheap shot puts Heidenreich in trouble. That goes nowhere as he spears the villains down and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and the Doomsday Device ends Cade.
Rating: D+. I’m going a bit lighter on the matches tonight as there’s no reason to go crazy with the ratings, especially when the wrestlers probably aren’t all there mentally. This version of the LOD never worked as Heidenreich didn’t feel like Hawk at all. It didn’t help that the tag divisions were such a mess at this point and even interpromotional stuff wasn’t interesting.
Booker T. and Sharmell miss Eddie with Booker telling a story about getting in a fist fight with Eddie back in WCW.
Documentary stuff on the Lie, Cheat and Steal vignettes. These were some of the first things that really made me appreciate Eddie as a character instead of just a performer. This transitions into a look at all the cheating over the years, which really was hilarious at times.
A sweaty Big Show is glad Eddie isn’t in pain anymore.
Eddie talks about playing other sports but giving them up because he only cared about wrestling. We also hear about his childhood growing up around wrestling because his dad was a promoter.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Chavo still has blonde hair from the Kerwin White gimmick, which was completely done after Eddie passed away. JBL has image consultant Jillian Hall with him. Some forearms in the corner have Chavo in early trouble so he snaps off a headlock takeover. We hit the cheating, including a thumb to the eye to send JBL outside. That’s quite the selling for a basic move.
Back in and the crossbody is caught in a fall away slam to put JBL in control like he should be. The heavy right hands in the corner are accompanied by stories of sewage and burritos. We hit the sleeper, which looks really weird from someone so big on someone so much smaller. Or maybe it’s just that JBL isn’t good at using that move.
Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a DDT to break up another fall away slam. It’s time for a few chairs and of course Chavo throws one to JBL and falls down just like Eddie did so many times. Ok I smiled at that one. The distraction lets Chavo get in a low blow, followed by Three Amigos and a frog splash for the pin.
Rating: C-. The result here means nothing at all as this was all about paying tribute to Eddie. Chavo winning was the only possible option here as he was basically Eddie’s little brother and could wrestle the same style so well. It’s not a good match (fine enough though) but it was exactly what it was supposed to be.
Video of Eddie’s mom talking about his childhood.
The announcers talk about Eddie a bit.
Video on Eddie at Wrestlemania XX. That was the rather awesome match against Kurt Angle where Eddie took his boot off, which they played up in the Summerslam rematch. This leads to the ending of the show which is really hard to watch now.
JBL was Eddie’s arch nemesis but he was lucky enough to be his friend.
Video on Eddie winning the World Title from Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004.
Cruiserweight Battle Royal
Tajiri, Gregory Helms, Paul London, Kid Kash, Brian Kendrick, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Funaki, Psychosis, Super Crazy, Juventud
Nothing on the line as Juventud is already Cruiserweight Champion. Everybody gangs up on Helms and Tajiri (the Raw guys) but don’t bother to actually eliminate either of them. Kendrick gets kicked out for the first elimination and Super Crazy goes out as well. Tajiri and Funaki follow them, leaving London to do a bunch of springboard kicks to the back. Helms and Nunzio take a double Worm.
Scotty dumps Kash and London does the same to Helms to get us down to five. Make that three as Nunzio gets rid of Scotty, leaving us with Nunzio, Juventud and London. Nunzio’s attempts at alliances don’t work and the Italian is sent out. Both guys wind up on the apron for a kicking battle until they both crawl back inside. Juventud dropkicks London out for the win.
Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse battle royals but few that were more pointless. The champ is entered into a match and then wins the thing? The division wasn’t the most interesting in the world at this point and other than having some cruiserweight stuff involved on the show, I have no idea what this has to do with Eddie.
Video on Eddie and Chyna, which was pretty awesome stuff. His kids try to figure out what Latino Heat means.
We look at Eddie’s last match, a DQ win over Mr. Anderson.
Shane McMahon talks about how cool it is to have major families like the Guerreros (and the Jarretts). He talks about what Eddie meant and breaks down in tears.
Video of the end of Wrestlemania XX with JR’s voice giving out.
Chris Benoit vs. HHH
HHH is a heel here but plays to the crowd during the entrances. Given the circumstances, that’s totally fine. An early Crossface attempt sends HHH to the ropes and we take a breather. Back in and Crossface attempt the sequel gives us the same plot (but likely fewer laughs). This time Benoit follows him out and sends HHH head first into the steps, only to get sent crashing outside as well.
Back from a break with HHH hitting some forearms to the back and getting two off a spinebuster. We hit the abdominal stretch but the powers of an EDDIE chant…..don’t really do much as HHH throws Benoit down. Your standard sleeper reversal sequence is followed by an exchange of failed finishers. That means it’s time for the rolling Germans on HHH and a Swan Dive for two. The Pedigree is countered into the Crossface, which Benoit lets go in favor of a rollup for the pin.
Rating: B. Even the announcers said this was just about having a good match and that’s what we got here. When HHH gets rid of the whole “I’m amazing and one of the best ever” stuff, he can put on some outstanding performances because he really is that talented. I liked this match for different reasons than I usually would have but it was still good stuff.
Benoit chants Eddie’s name and Dean Malenko comes out for the big hug ala Wrestlemania XX to wrap things up.
Overall Rating: A. This is a weird one to grade as the wrestling was actually good but it had nothing to do with the show’s quality. This was about celebrating Eddie’s life and nothing else. I had a lot of fun watching it and actually started missing Eddie as the show went on. I’ve never been the biggest Eddie fan but things like this, where you look back at his career and life, really show how special he truly was. I may not be a huge fan but I certainly respect him, which is probably more important.
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Smackdown Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is another request that I got so long ago that I can’t remember why someone wanted to see it. I’d assume it’s due to the big battle royal for the #1 contendership to the Smackdown World Title with the winner getting to face Brock Lesnar at No Way Out 2004. This was a fun time for Smackdown so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Smackdown GM Paul Heyman is in the ring to start but he’s quickly interrupted by Vince. The big boss wants to know why the Royal Rumble winner (Chris Benoit) isn’t on Smackdown anymore after jumping to Raw. Vince blames Heyman for getting rid of Benoit so Heyman goes on a rant about how the old Vince would just march on past it like he did when Hall, Nash, Hogan or even BRET HART left the company.
That’s why Heyman has an idea: tonight we’ll have another Royal Rumble RIGHT HERE TONIGHT. We’ll have a fifteen man version with the injured Matt Morgan being replaced by Hardcore Holly and Chris Benoit’s spot being taken by Eddie Guerrero. The winner gets the shot at Lesnar at No Way Out….because they can’t just have the shot at Wrestlemania for some reason. Vince says it’s on.
Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman
The Bashams (Doug and Danny, a pair of very similar looking brawlers) are defending and have the useless Shaniqua in their corner. Doug (I think, though it’s like trying to remember which Uso is which) starts with Kidman, who takes him down with a headscissors. Danny low bridges London to the floor though as Cole is already forgetting which Basham is which.
A spinning belly to back gets two for London and it’s time to work on the spine. We hit the double arm crank for a bit until London dropkicks his way to a hot tag. Kidman’s enziguri gets two on Doug with Kidman getting off the cover to dropkick Danny. Shaniqua offers a distraction and we get some twin magic, setting up a super DDT to retain the titles.
Rating: D. The Bashams were yet another lame team in a big list of them around this time. There was no reason to have two Tag Team Titles and I think everyone knew it but there was no way WWE would ever admit that. London and Kendrick would get the titles in July with three other title changes in between.
Kurt Angle is incensed that he has to pull his own number and jets off when he sees it.
Chavo Guerrero is all bruised but promises his dad that he’ll get revenge on Uncle Eddie.
Speaking of Eddie, he comes in to pick his number and seems very pleased. Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio comes in with his friend boxer Jorge Paez and nothing happens.
John Cena hits on Dawn Marie (attending the ball hopper) and draws his number. Rhyno comes in and suggests he’ll end Cena’s career by going after his bad knee.
Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble
Noble is challenging, gets no entrance and has his blind girlfriend Nidia in his corner. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Nidia accidentally tripped Noble and cost him the match. Jamie takes him down with a hammerlock but an ankle scissors gets him out of trouble. Something like a torture rack has Rey in trouble so he armdrags Noble down and into 619 position. It’s way too early for that of course but Nidia accidentally trips Jamie again to little disaster.
Noble stays on the back and puts on a seated abdominal stretch. Back up and Noble sends him into the corner and bends Rey’s back around the post. A superplex puts both guys down as Noble can’t follow up. My what convenient timing. Mysterio comes right back with a middle rope bulldog and the 619 but he tweaks his knee on the West Coast Pop. Jamie sends him outside right in front of Nidia, who gets in the way of Jamie’s attempted dive. For reasons that aren’t clear, Jamie throws her inside but apparently she can see just fine, allowing Rey to hit a springboard seated senton to retain.
Rating: B-. Really good TV match and an improvement over the pay per view match but there’s this misconception that people cared about Nidia enough to make this story interesting. Noble got what he had coming here and it’s a simple story but Nidia doing a face turn isn’t going to get anyone anywhere.
The new correspondent tells us that Playboy is looking for two women for the next spread. Ignore the fact that Torrie Wilson and Sable had already been announced for the issue. This sets up a quick history of the WWE/Playboy relationship, which has basically been buried in the archives ever since.
Dawn has to pick Big Show’s number and “chicks dig it big” jokes are made.
Brock Lesnar isn’t worried about Goldberg saying he’s next because Goldberg is clearly a Lesnar wannabe instead of the other way around. Tonight he’s issuing an open challenge to anyone on the Smackdown roster for a non-title match. This might be the longest I’ve ever heard Brock talk and I’ve certainly heard worse.
Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are about to pick their numbers when someone comes in to tell Heyman that Eddie has been attacked. Everyone runs to Eddie while the Chavos deny having anything to do with this. Rey comes in and goes after Jr. but gets pulled back.
Eddie is put in an ambulance.
Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan
Oh yeah Jordan is a person that exists. I always forget. He’s still a rookie at this point so this shouldn’t take long. Brock actually gets knocked outside to start as the fans remind Lesnar that he tapped out recently. Jordan can’t even get one off a sunset flip so Brock easily drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. We hit a modified rear naked choke for a bit before Jordan comes back with a dropkick and jumping elbow. A clothesline cuts that off though and the Brock Lock ends Jordan with ease.
Rating: D-. I’m so glad they let Jordan get in some offense on the champ like this before he was destroyed. It really enhanced his career and made me care about him. Jordan continues to rank very high on the list of worthless wrestlers as he just stayed around for years despite showing absolutely no reason to keep a spot on the roster.
Some wrestlers went to Walter Reed Hospital to see some wounded soldiers.
We see clips of Kane being tormented by the spirit of the Undertaker.
Vince says forget about Undertaker because he’s buried. Uh, right. There is something to be said about Vince refusing to accept the idea that someone who comes back almost annually is coming back again.
Angle accuses Heyman of having Eddie injured. Apparently Eddie is already conscious again but Angle says that’s not enough. Heyman says if Eddie is here when his number is up, he can be in the Rumble.
Royal Rumble
There are fifteen entries and we have 90 second intervals. Kurt Angle, who has dedicated this to the US Armed Forces, is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2. They slug it out to start and Rhyno hits a quick Gore in the first minute. Angle gets in a quick Angle Slam though and Charlie Haas is in at #3. Charlie mocks Angle for reasons of general stupidity, allowing Rhyno to jump him from behind. For some reason Angle doesn’t help Rhyno get rid of Haas and goes after horned one.
Shelton Benjamin is in at #4 and the partners double team Rhyno but Angle makes another save with a German suplex. Nothing of note happens until it’s Bradshaw in at #5 and it’s time for the Clotheslines. We take a break and come back with Tajiri coming in at #7 but stopping to go after the Cat (who came in at #6 and was eliminated during the break) and his manager Lamont.
Billy Gunn is in at #8 and nothing happens so it’s Big Show in at #9 to start clearing out some room. Everyone gets ready for him but he shoves all seven of them off like they’re villagers. Tajiri is easily put out and Bradshaw follows him via a low bridge. John Cena is in at #10 despite sporting a bad knee. Cena puts Show on the apron and we come back from a break with A-Train and Nunzio having entered at #11/#12 but Nunzio is already out.
Eddie Guerrero is in at #13 and apparently Rhyno was eliminated during the break. Guerrero actually backdrops A-Train out and it’s Rikishi in at #14. Gunn is superkicked to the apron and Show gets the Stinkface. Shelton and Billy get the same thing and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #15 to complete the field with Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly.
Show chokes Cena to the apron and then the floor for an elimination that would stop the match dead in its tracks today. A big group of people almost have Show out and Cena pulls him down to the floor as we’re down to seven. Since nothing else is going on, let’s look at every elimination in the match so far! You know, because this couldn’t be shown on a split screen for some reason.
Eddie gets rid of Haas and Shelton is sent out a few seconds later. A frog splash hits Rikishi before Angle gets rid of Holly (basically ending his “main event run” in the process). Eddie gets Gunn out and we’re down to Guerrero, Angle and Gunn. Rikishi starts cleaning house until he misses a Banzai Drop. That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to put him out and now we’re down to the real showdown where either story would be awesome. Angle easily takes him to the mat and starts with the rolling Germans. Eddie stays on the apron and grabs an ankle lock on Kurt, only to be reversed into one from Angle (because of course).
Another elimination attempt doesn’t work and it’s the Three Amigos to put Kurt in trouble. The frog splash is broken up with some crotching and both guys are down near the corner. Kurt grabs a sleeper/chinlock but Eddie sends him out to the apron for another slugout. They fight over a suplex with Eddie shaking his legs to save himself and suplexes Kurt to the floor for the title shot in a big surprise.
Rating: A-. This started slowly as battle royals tend to do but then it took off and turned into a great match when you knew it was going to be Angle vs. Guerrero at the end. This was the start of Eddie’s rocket push and you could tell the fans were on board with the idea as Guerrero had earned this after a lot of years trying to get off the ground. It also needs to be emphasized that making this a Royal Rumble instead of a battle royal made it work so much better.
Overall Rating: B. This was one heck of a show with a good Cruiserweight Title match and the last third of the show being dedicated to one of the better battle royals you’ll ever see. They’re still in the era of having having big time shows because the Brand Split was still working at this point, meaning you would get stuff like this instead of EVERYTHING being about the pay per view. I had a good time with this show and it flew by, mainly on the strength of good wrestling, though having Eddie’s injuries mean a bit more would have helped.
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Today is one half of the best tag teams in the Biz-A-Ness: Kazarian.
Kazarian got his start in 1998 on the California independent circuit, but we’ll pick things up on March 17, 2001 on WWF Metal, a late night syndicated show.
Frankie Kazarian/Keiji Sakoda vs. Kaientai
Funaki and Kaz get things going with the jobber nailing a springboard back elbow to the jaw. The announcers try to get the fans to call their local media and ask for more on the XFL because the thing is already in major trouble. Sakoda comes in and runs Funaki over but walks into a shot to the face from Taka. Kaientai takes over with a camel clutch from Funaki to set up a low dropkick to the face from Michinoku. Sakoda comes back with a clothesline to Funaki and makes the tag to Kazarian as everything breaks down. Funaki sends Sakoda to the floor and a Michinoku Driver gets a fast pin on Kazarian.
Kaz would head to the WWA promotion and open the Retribution PPV.
Kazarian vs. Shark Boy
TNA is around at this point but it’s still in its very early days, so there’s a chance these guys have both been there. It’s a smart move to have guys like these open the show as they should be able to fire up the crowd. Kaz looks almost identical to how he does ten years later, just with longer hair here. The lighting has a blue tint to it here and it sounds like the audio is coming through like normal commentaries do instead of through the arena speakers.
Disco gets the comedy going fast by suggesting that Shark Boy was conceived on the set of Jaws and may be the son of Richard Dreyfuss. Kaz is the heel here and gets caught by an early hiptoss and some chops in the corner. Sharky sends him to the floor and gets caught by a plancha. Kaz is pulled back in but sends Shark Boy into the middle buckle to take over. An atomic drop puts Kaz down and Sharky bites him on the trunks for good measure. The referee gets one too and the fans are way into Shark Boy.
Kaz comes back with a quick leg lariat to take over before getting two off a snap belly to belly suplex. We hit a quick chinlock but Sharky fights up, only to be backdropped out to the floor. Back in and a leg sweep takes Shark Boy down for two but Kaz misses a guillotine legdrop to give us a breather. Shark Boy comes back with right hands and a one knee Codebreaker for two.
Kaz has his head pounded in the corner and there’s a bite by Sharky for good measure. A top rope rana brings Kaz down for two but a SWEET bicycle kick takes Shark Boy down again. Kaz, still “The Future” at this point, hits Back to the Future (a bridging electric chair drop) for two, only to have Shark Boy take him to the corner for the Dead Sea Drop (dragon sleeper flipped over into a Stunner, more commonly known as Diamond Dust) and the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine and the perfect kind of match to open a show like this. You take two fast paced guys and let them go out there for six minutes of high spots. It’s nothing great but it didn’t need to be. These are two young guys getting a shot and they did a good enough job with it so it’s a good start here.
It’s off to TNA now with Kaz appearing on Weekly PPV #47 on June 4, 2003. I believe this is his TNA debut.
CM Punk/Frankie Kazarian/Matt Stryker vs. Damian Dothart/Johnny Swinger/Kid Romeo
No not that Striker. Stryker and Romeo get things going with Romeo grabbing an early headlock. Kazarian comes in and gets taken down by a slam for two as the heels (Romeo’s team) triple team for a bit. Swinger comes in legally and gets dropkicked and armdragged before it’s off to Punk. It’s armdrags a go-go until it’s Dothart in to trade headlock takeovers.
Off to Swinger vs. Stryker and more heel cheating gives the bad guys the advantage. Romeo chops on Matt in the corner but has a monkey flip countered into a kind of belly to belly suplex. Dothart grabs a northern lights suplex for two and it’s back to Swinger. He slams Matt down but takes too long walking around, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz. A double clothesline drops Swinger and Dothart as everything breaks down.
Kaz hits a huge dive to take out Swinger on the floor, only to have Damian thrown onto both of them. Punk dives on all three, Romeo dives onto all four, and Stryker adds an Asai moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Swinger hits a jawbreaker on Matt, only to get caught in a Gory Bomb from Punk. Romeo hits something like White Noise on Punk but gets caught by a DDT from Matt. Kaz comes back in and hits a spinning downward spiral on Dothart for the pin.
Rating: C+. It’s your standard X-Division flying match with everyone going everywhere near the end. That’s a solid idea as it opened the show and got the fans fired up for the rest of the card. It wasn’t the best match in the world but it was entertaining, and that’s all this match needed to be.
Kaz would win the X-Division Title and defend it on Weekly PPV #97 on June 9, 2004.
X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian
From June 9, 2004 with Kaz defending. This is one of the first matches in the six sided ring which debuted six days earlier on the first episode of a show called Impact. It’s strange to see Kaz in Antonio Banderas form nowadays. Feeling out process to start with AJ taking the champion down into a front facelock. Kaz counters into an armbar as the fans tell him that he still sucks. An armdrag gets AJ free and they stare each other down again. Styles grabs the arm for a wristlock but Kaz gets in a shot to the jaw to escape.
Another armdrag sends Kaz out to the floor but he comes back with a wristlock of his own. AJ starts firing off some kicks to the thigh before peppering Kaz with forearms. Kaz sends him into the ropes but AJ drops down to set up the dropkick but the champion wisely heads outside. Back in and Kaz has to escape a Styles Clash attempt so now AJ hits the dropkick and a knee drop for two. Kaz gets sent out to the floor again and the frustration sets in for the champion.
Things start to pick up with AJ throwing Kaz back inside but getting caught by a slingshot DDT onto the apron. Back inside and Kaz suplexes Styles down and pounds away with right hands to the head. AJ tries a sunset flip but Kaz rolls through into a nice spinning neckbreaker for two. An ax handle to the back has AJ in trouble but he comes back with a running forearm in the corner but only hits turnbuckle on the second attempt. Kaz scores with a slingshot dropkick in the corner to knock the wind out of AJ after the miss knocked the senses out of him.
We hit a chinlock for a bit before going outside again with AJ being sent ribs first into the apron. Back in and Kaz snaps AJ’s throat over the top rope but misses his slingshot splash. This has been very good back and forth stuff so far which doesn’t leave me much to talk about. Both guys go to the corner and AJ superplexes Kaz down to the floor for a sick sounding thud.
Both guys are slow to get up and back inside but it’s Styles getting all fired up for forearms to the head. Kaz loads up a spinning downward spiral but AJ spins out and nails him with the Pele. The Styles Clash is countered with a kick to the head into a rollup for two and a kind of jumping superkick gets a very close two. Kaz puts him on the top rope but has to escape a middle rope Styles Clash. Instead it’s Kaz with the downward spiral (his finisher) for another near fall.
Kaz loads up a Clash (popular idea against AJ) but AJ gets free and takes the champion down with a discus lariat. Styles goes up again but another jumping superkick puts him down. AJ shoves him down and TOTALLY misses the Spiral Tap but covers anyway. Since there was literally no contact Kaz kicks out at two but the referee counts the pin anyway. The announcers are as confused as I was but we have a new champion.
Rating: B+. This was REALLY good stuff until the ending screwed things up. I mean there were literally nine inches of mat between AJ and Kaz on that Spiral Tap attempt but the pin counted anyway. Still though, I can easily accept nineteen minutes of awesome in exchange for thirty seconds of horrible.
Kaz would get on regular pay per view around this time, including a match on the third TNA regular pay per view, Against All Odds 2005.
Kazarian/Michael Shane vs. BG James/Jeff Hammond
Yeah, the old racer is wrestling here. He’d be about 49 or 50 here. BG makes some bad racing jokes before the match. Wait…according to what I can find, Hammond is a CREW CHIEF. He isn’t even a driver! Anyway, BG and Shane start us off. No wait Hammond wants to fight. Hammond grabs a wristlock and thankfully tags off to a wrestler. The non-X Division guys work over Shane and BG does most of the work.
BG takes Shane down and drops a knee on him for two. Kaz knocks him to the floor and hits a huge dive to take over. He hits a slingshot dropkick in the corner ala Hardy and Shazarian double teams BG. Neckbreaker gets two. Hammond comes in and can’t do anything BECAUSE HE ISN’T A WRESTLER. BG is knocked to the floor and Shane superkicks Kaz by mistake. Hammond drops an elbow for the pin. Screw this.
Rating: F. The match sucked, the guy isn’t even a driver, but his name is on TV so five people might know who he is. Twelve days later Kaz left TNA and signed a developmental deal with WWE. GEE, I WONDER WHY HE WOULD WANT TO DO THAT??? When the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, that’s a bad sign.
Kaz would sign with the WWE around this time as centerpiece of the Cruiserweight division. Here’s one of his matches, from Velocity in August of 2005.
Frankie Kazarian vs. Paul London
They trade wristlocks to start and we actually hear about them meeting in the ECWA Super 8 tournament, a very prestigious indy wrestling tournament. London hits a Mushroom Stomp (double stomp) but charges into a belly to belly suplex into the corner. Back up and Paul gets two off an electric chair suplex, followed by a dropsault for the same. London nails a spinwheel kick and a wheelbarrow faceplant for an even closer two. He loads up another electric chair but Kaz falls forward into a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as Kaz never went anywhere in WWE due to them making up the idea of revamping the Cruiserweight division. London was fine in a spot like this, but there was no future for these guys when the division almost only existed on a show like Velocity. Kaz was fine but didn’t have a platform to do anything on here.
Kaz would come back to TNA where he belonged, including this match at Genesis 2006.
Kazarian/Maverick Matt/Johnny Devine vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia
The three guys that would become Serotonin are in their new look now but have only been talking about their redeemer who would later be revealed as Raven. The Mafia is now at WAR with WWE. Tenay flat out says they’re going after Vince and it would only get worse. The fans chant that DX sucks. Anyway, Roadie, the guy only famous for being in DX, starts off with Matt.
BG (Road Dogg) gets taken into the corner and the heels alternate on him to take over. They tease the white shirt wearing Kip to allow more triple teaming. They’re flying through this match so it’s not going to last long. BG gets in a shot and hot tags Kip. Kip cleans house and uses a Pedigree as Tenay talks about the War. Devine jumps off the top but gets caught in the cobra clutch slam for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but anything that furthers this idiotic angel isn’t a good thing. As I said in the Turning Point review, I have no idea what they thought they were proving with this thing, but it would result in them “invading” a house show which they claimed was the same thing as DX invading WCW in 1998.
Serotonin didn’t do anything and Kaz eventually rebelled, setting up this match at Hard Justice 2007.
Kaz vs. Raven
Raven had some freak show team around this time and Kaz rebelled. This is the revenge match. Raven offers Kaz a chance to return to the team but Kaz pops him. They head to the floor quickly and Seretonin (the team) gets involved but screws up, giving Kaz control early on. Raven hits the Russian legsweep into the rail spot that he often does. In the ring, Raven busts out a victory roll of all things for two.
A Million Dollar Kneelift puts Kaz on the floor. Raven beats on Kaz but Kaz fires back with punches. I don’t know what it is but I can’t get into this show at all. I think a lot of it is the lack of storylines and context for these matches and angles, but I don’t think they’re going to be interesting no matter what you do with them. Kaz takes out the other Seretonin guys but Raven cracks him with a kendo stick to the head. Kaz escapes a DDT, hits a one footed dropkick….and gets the pin. At least it’s over.
Rating: D. Just a messy brawl that wasn’t anything to see. There were some cool spots, but Raven was just annoying Kaz here more than being a threat. This was another of those feuds that I have zero interest in but have to sit through for the purposes of writing this. That being said I wasn’t interested in this feud four years ago either.
Kaz would get a push around this time, including this ladder match at Genesis 2007.
Christian vs. Kaz
Winner gets a shot at the champion at some point in the future. Remember that it’s a ladder match. Kaz hammers away with some kicks and there’s the first ladder. Christian picks it up so Kaz hits a spinning dive over the top onto said ladder which hurts him more than the Canadian. Christian is bleeding right around the eye. Here’s ladder junior and it’s bridged between the ring and the barricade.
Kaz gets laid out on it and Christian goes up top. He drops a frog splash on Kaz, but the ladder is all like IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? THAT AIN’T GONNA BREAK ME BOY! That eye of Christian looks bad. Kaz moves out of the way and spins Christian into the ladder in the corner. He sandwiches Christian behind a ladder in the corner but on a charge Christian PELTS the ladder at Kaz, sending him down. The crowd is already way into this.
Christian does a few more painful things to Kaz but his attempt at the contract doesn’t work. Kaz gets in a nice looking shot as he swings the ladder like a bat. They both go up ladders and Christian manages to hit a reverse DDT off the top. Kaz gets up again and puts Christian on the ladder with a backdrop and then the spinning legdrop that he uses. The fans think it’s awesome and I can’t really disagree.
Kaz suplexes the ladder onto Christian and then goes up for the scary spot of the matc. He climbs to the very top of the ladder and drops a leg on Christian onto the ladder, but the middle part moves so Kaz’s leg hits the ladder square on. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Christian goes up so Kaz hits a springboard dropkick into the ladder which knocks the ladder into the ropes, knocking the cameraman off the apron.
AJ and Tomko come out but Christian calls them off. Both guys go up the ladder but it topples over. Christian goes flying down to the floor where he lands on the tag champions. The look on his face is great as it says “I just want to go home and have a grilled cheese.” Kaz was able to get his foot onto the rope to stop the fall and shove himself back up. He pulls down the contract to win it.
Rating: A-. Now THIS was fun. This is the third time tonight that the X-Division guys have been allowed to go out there and have fun and it’s the third very good match they’ve had. What else can you ask for other than that? Great match here with both guys beating each other up and taking some HARD shots.
Kaz and Eric Young would team up, setting up this stupid match at Lockdown 2008.
Rock N Rave Infection vs. MCMG vs. Eric Young/Kaz vs. LAX vs. Scott Steiner/Petey Williams vs. Black Reign/Rellik
This is Cuffed in the Cage: all 12 in the match at once and it’s elimination by being cuffed to a rope, last man standing gets his team a shot at the tag titles at a future date. Reign and Rellik (Killer backwards. Clever huh?) beat up Eric backstage before they can come out. The entrances take a few hours or so. Oh and Black Reign (Goldust but a cheap knockoff that no one bought) and Killer are supposed to be monsters. This is idiotic.
How in the WORLD have the Guns not been tag champions yet? There are two sets of tag titles in TNA (don’t even get me started on how freaking stupid that is) and they can’t get one of them. That’s just stupid. Oh LAX already have a title shot, so they’re getting a chance to get a second one here, because it would make NO SENSE to take two people out of here to, oh I don’t know, unclutter the match thing a tiny bit???
This was back when Petey was Maple Leaf Muscle, as in a tiny version of Steiner. Is this supposed to be Mexico or something? Steiner just beats the tar out of everyone until LAX takes him down. About four people get him cuffed to eliminate him. What would be smart here? Perhaps having him leave? Nope, that would make too much sense, so he just stays in the cage cuffed to the cage. Someone was actually paid to think of this. That’s just sad.
Young comes down and gets scared by the monsters. You can’t tell a thing that’s going on because THERE ARE ELEVEN PEOPLE IN THERE AT ONCE. Sabin and Shelley get cuffed at the same time. Petey is put out and I just couldn’t care less. The problem here is that you get some decent stuff and spots but there are just so many people in there and the camera jumps around so much that you can’t see anything at all. LAX are both out.
Kaz is out as we have Killer and Rock N Rave and Black Reign left. The fans already get the idea as they chant Super Eric. The idea is this: Eric Young puts on a shirt, a mask and a cape and all of a sudden he’s not scared anymore and is an awesome fighter. This is making me lose intelligence very rapidly. He does a HUGE dive off the top of the cage to put four guys down. Ok that was pretty cool looking. Hoyt (Vance Archer) is put out.
The other problem becomes that no one can move anywhere as there are people on so many parts of the cage. Oh Jimmy Rave is out too. Young gets the two monsters to win the stupid thing. To further drain my intelligence, here’s how this played out. Eric and Kaz won the tag titles (why they’re not being defended here and why the X Title isn’t being defended here is beyond me.
Tomko and AJ FREAKING STYLES were the tag champions, yet they’re not on the PPV. Upon further review they’re in the Lethal Lockdown match so that makes it a bit better) at the next Impact but because Super Eric wasn’t the guy Kaz entered the match with they didn’t get the titles.
Instead they were held up and a whole PPV, Sacrifice, was dedicated to getting new champions with LAX and 3D fighting in the finals of the Deuces Wild tag tournament where you had random partners fighting established teams but the random partners WON NO MATCHES. THIS WAS PRAISED by TNA fans. They thought this was a good idea.
Rating: F-. This was just so freaking stupid that I can’t believe it exists. Seriously, TWELVE PEOPLE in the cage at once and you handcuff them to eliminate them. I wanted wrestling, not some screwed up sex fantasy that even Vince McMahon would say slow down when offered. Seriously, screw Dave Meltzer. He said that Edge vs. HHH vs. Kozlov was worse than this? Dave is a brilliant guy, but his anti-WWE bias gets out of hands at times.
Kaz was hot enough at this point that he would be in a cage match at Sacrifice 2008 to get a World Title shot later in the night.
Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Kaz vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Jay Lethal
Sure we can put TEN PEOPLE in a cage and expect it to be coherent in any way, shape or form. TNA: redefining overdoing it every night. Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future against I think Petey Williams. Shark Boy is Stone Cold here and it’s just so stupid. Cornette comes out and says the winner gets to be in the main event in Angle’s place. For the record, the total time of the entrances and Cornette’s announcement and lowering the ceiling on the Dome: 7:31. Longest match so far tonight: 8:45.
Everyone but Rave and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian/Japanese curry company mascot) go onto the cage walls and try to escape. The six sided ring is bigger so there’s some extra room but since everyone is on the walls it’s hard to call anything. The Guns take over with speed and Creed makes a run for the top. Kaz, ever the scholar, uses Creed’s arms as a slingshot to drop a leg on someone instead of pulling him down. Creed, also the lunkhead, drops down to beat up Kaz.
Another problem is that everyone is wearing black tights except for the people that aren’t so you can barely tell most of them apart. They mess up the Tower of Doom pretty badly and Dutt escapes the Spice Rack to Dutt. You can’t really call anything but spots here and it’s really annoying because of that. Creed hits a DDT on Rave. Shelley takes a Chummer (Stunner) from Shark Boy.
Sabin and Shark Boy mess something up badly but Kaz takes him out with a spinning downward spiral. Dutt has been chilling on the roof for awhile so Curry Man takes him down. Rave takes a Spice Rack off the top rope. There’s nothing else to report here other than these random spots. They’re flashy looking and cool but there’s no coherence or flow to it at all.
Curry shoves Kaz off the top rope and goes up, only to have Kaz come stop him. Rave pulls him off the top with a Codebreaker and Devine hits a Devine Intervention (double underhook piledriver) to Creed. Shouldn’t the afro shield him from that? Rave goes up and Kaz pulls him off. It’s certainly good that 8 people were in the middle of the ring and no one was going after Kaz who escapes to advance to the title match later.
Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fun but there’s no way you can tell what’s going on for the most part here. This needed to be about 5 guys at most and they could have gotten something going. It’s a nice change to the cage match formula so of course TNA never used it as anything resembling that since they’re not incredibly intelligent at times. This was fun but it really needed to be tweeked.
And the title match from the same show.
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner
Frank Trigg is on commentary because wrestling companies think we watch wrestling to see MMA. Joe gets a big tribal dance thing. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Kaz grabs a rollup on Steiner 10 seconds in and a second one 20 seconds in. Joe is like screw this and runs them both over, unleashing some kicks. He cleans house and puts a half Liontamer on Kaz.
Steiner runs over for the save and is immediately put in a Fujiwara armbar. Now Kaz is in a Texas Cloverleaf. See, this is what I like Joe doing: throwing on random holds because that’s what he’s supposed to be good at. A clothesline puts Steiner on the floor and he hits his face on the apron. Kaz tries that spinning springboard legdrop but Joe moves. Trigg is actually offering ideas and strategy, suggesting that Steiner and Kaz should join up and double team Joe to take him out. I have no problem with someone that wants to be there and is trying. Trigg is doing both.
Steiner sends Joe into the railing outside and it’s Kaz vs. Steiner with the roided one in control. Scott hits a Samoan Drop off the middle rope for two on Kaz. Is that gimmick infringement? Joe is beating him like he stole something so maybe it was. Steiner busts out the suplexes and puts Joe in the Recliner. He does what no one could do in 2000 and stands up, letting Kaz hit a dropkick in the form of a Doomsday Device to put Steiner down for a full 5 seconds.
Steiner charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner from Joe. Joe tries a suicide dive but jumps into a pipe Steiner is holding. It looked like the shoulder took most of it. Back in a slingshot DDT gets two for Kaz. Petey gets involved and crotches Kaz and a Frankensteiner gets two as Joe makes a very last second save. Why is it that a single shot to the leg can cause a guy to go flying off a cover?
Joe goes insane and is holding his shoulder. It would be good selling if it was the same shoulder that the pipe hit but left and right might be a bit too complex for Joe. A superkick puts Kaz down but he gets up in time to kick Joe onto the apron. Kaz tries something off the top on Steiner but it looks like a bad DDT. Steiner gets a cover out of it if that gives you any idea. With Steiner still on top Joe grabs the MuscleBuster and retains.
Rating: C+. Not bad here and they had a decent match. Steiner vs. Joe would have been bad so adding in the high flying of Kaz was a nice touch. It’s not a great match or anything but it was fine for Joe’s first major title defense. The pipe never went anywhere but it wasn’t supposed to I don’t think. Not great but not bad here so just over in the middle sounds good.
Kaz missed a good while due to an injury and return as the masked Suicide character. This set up a match at Sacrifice 2009 against Daniels, who had been accused of being the character.
X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Suicide
Suicide is defending. Christopher is just called Daniels here but screw that. Suicide pops up behind Daniels after the lights come back up. Feeling out process to start as West compares this to Area 51, Lee Harvey Oswald and if man walked on the moon. West starts talking about Curry Man, another guy that Daniels portrayed. The fans chant suicide. Yeah that’s not weird at all. The main thing going on so far is West rambling about his conspiracy theories.
Daniels gets a rather weak crossface chickenwing on the mat for a few seconds. Enziguri completely misses but it’s sold anyway. Release Rock Bottom sets up the Best Moonsault Ever which is avoided. They can’t get a tombstone reversal sequence as this hasn’t been much from a quality standpoint. West keeps going with his theories and they get more and more annoying each time.
They go to the ramp a bit and Suicide counters into one of those fireman’s carries into a front flip but hurts some part of his leg or foot on. Daniels gets a nice slingshot move into a rollup for two. Sabin of all people comes out to distract the referee so Shelley can sneak in to hit a Codebreaker to give Daniels the pin.
Rating: D+. Not much here. It was decent enough but it just never got out of the blocks. I have never been a fan of Daniels as his matches just come off as boring beyond belief to me. This was no exception as it just kept on going until the Guns came out to set up the finish. Can someone please explain the appeal of this guy to me?
Daniels grabs the mic and says he didn’t have anything to do with the Guns being there so Daniels wants five more minutes and I guess Suicide is still champion here. Ok so the match is going to continue. By the way, this isn’t overbooking as it fits in with the whole Daniels/Suicide conspiracy angle they’re using here. Suicide takes over for awhile here which is a change of pace from the previous match. Or earlier in the match or whatever the right term is.
Koji Clutch goes on Suicide as Daniels gets the advantage but ropes are of course grabbed since the draw is more or less a given at this point. In something you’ll hardly ever see in this arena, the fans chant boring. We get the clock as we have less than a minute. Don’t let Samoa Joe see it! Standing BME is blocked as Suicide gets two off the counter. Codebreaker gets two at the bell.
Rating: C. That’s for the extra five minutes which was much better than the first twelve but not by much. Suicide is a guy I could get into more than Daniels and this is a great example of that. Not a great match at all but for a shorter thing like this it worked fine I guess. Still not wanting to see any more of Daniels though.
More Suicide, this time at Bound For Glory 2009.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide
This is Ultimate X and the Guns got in by winning a tag match earlier. Suicide is played by Kaz here. Dinero was supposed to be in this too but had a legit family emergency. Red has Don West with him. This is Red’s first Ultimate X match. That’s rather surprising. And there’s a rather scary close up of Homicide. Red and Suicide (how did he and Homicide never team together?) go to the floor as the spots begin.
Daniels stops a huge dive by Red to kill the crowd. Daniels has won four straight of these matches apparently. Red hits a SWEET Rana off the top to Daniels to the floor, taking out about 3 other people. The Guns take over with some of their awesome team stuff. No real attempts at going for the belt until Homicide heads up there. Suicide trumps Homicide though and everyone crashes.
This turns into the Guns vs. everyone else as Daniels takes a missile dropkick Doomsday Device. Everything goes insane again and you can’t really follow much of anything. Homicide, a heel here, goes up but Daniels stops him. Daniels and Sabin play a little chicken but both crash as well. SICK tornado DDT by Sabin. Red gets a leaping Downward Spiral to take out Daniels as this has been rather fun.
There’s the required Tower of Doom spot that never gets old with the big move being Suicide hitting a moonsault on Daniels. To give you an idea, Suicide was on the top rope. Red got behind him for a German. Red was powerbombed off by Sabin. Red suplexed Suicide off and Suicide flipped into a moonsault press onto Daniels. Ok so onto is a stretch but you get the concept.
The crowd isn’t really feeling this outside of big spots, which isn’t great but it’s also not horrible. They know their chants though I suppose. Best Moonsault Ever to Sabin. Daniels, Suicide and Red go up to the top of the structure, as in 7 feet about the X, getting a please don’t die chant. They’re above the height of being on top of the Cell. Daniels almost falls as this is terrifying.
Daniels thankfully drops down as does Suicide. Red is laying on top as the Guns go for the traditional way. Suicide and Daniels go down and Daniels lands on his head. Tazz half kayfabe shouts CHECK HIM, and I couldn’t agree more. Red drops down and gets the belt. I’m legit worried about Daniels after that fall. Don West comes out to celebrate.
Rating: B. I was trying to figure out if it should be minus or plus but this is fine. I’ve never been wild on having big gimmick matches like this to open the show. I get having an X match here but not the big gimmick matches like these. Save these for the middle of the card where the crowd needs a boost. Still though this was solid and the spots were great. Daniels’ fall was scary, though he would be ok. Fun match here and it did its job perfectly.
Kazarian would return and take part in another #1 contenders match at Destination X 2010.
Kazarian vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Christopher Daniels
Winner is #1 contender to the X Division Title. Oh and it’s a ladder match. This was when Daniels had some weird thing on where it wrapped around his neck and then down to his arms. It just looked weird. Make your own Antonio Banderas jokes. We get going and Kendrick hits the floor. Smart. Red launches himself of the ropes to hit everyone not named Kendrick.
There’s your first ladder. Everyone goes for the contract in a row but no one gets it. I love that STO Daniels does. Taz knowing the real name of it might be the only thing of worth from him. The ladder has an ad for TNAwrestling.com. There’s something amusing about that. TNA gets the idea here at least: have a spot fest.
That’s what a match like this is supposed to be and that’s what they’re giving us. Red hits a SWEET hurricanrana to the floor. In a spot that I thought was stupid Kazarian has Red in position for the Flux Capactior on the ladder. The setup is like a Rock Bottom. His left arm is free. WHY DIDN’T HE GRAB THE PAPER??? He makes up for it a bit with a slingshot Fameasser to a ladder on Daniels. Nice.
Kendrick gets his fingers slammed in a ladder. FREAKING OW! Daniels and Kaz are the only ones left in there. And there’s Kendrick so never mind. Crowd is totally behind Kendrick here in case you’re wondering. That five clap sequence the audience does needs to freaking die. It truly does.
In a nice spot, Red goes for a springboard something but jumps into a Diamond Cutter from Kazarian. I like it. Ladder number two is in and Red and Daniels have a race. Kazarian does the Shelton Spider-Man spot to get onto the ladders and knocks Daniels off to win the thing.
Rating: B+. It was a spot fest and that’s all it had to be. This was a great way to open the show and the match was solid as it could be. Even in a TNA crowd you have to get them fired up and what better way than this? Kaz will win the title soon and after this he deserves it. Fun match and a great opener.
Here’s a title shot, from Genesis 2011.
X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Hey look the X Title is opening the show again! It’s new! It’s exciting! It’s exactly what was expected! They start before the bell rings and Lethal hits a rana and rams in right hands. To be fair a fast paced match is a good way to get a crowd going so I can’t make too much fun of it. Lethal gets a dive to the floor and hits a moonsault to the floor to continue establishing his dominance.
Kaz takes over again and we chop it out. Things speed up somewhat with Lethal taking over after a series of counters. I’m surprised Kaz is moving this fast as he hasn’t done that much recently. Kaz takes over again as this has been very back and forth. It’s the first internet broadcast for TNA also. Lethal gets the handspring elbow to put both guys down.
This is personal of course. Has there ever been a professional fight in professional wrestling? In a very cool spot Lethal was on the apron and Kaz pulled him in using the ropes but moved over in a split second to catch Lethal in a cutter. Flux Capacitor is blocked into a sunset bomb by Lethal for two. Good stuff so far. Apparently Kaz is in trouble if he doesn’t get the title here.
Reverse tombstone is blocked as Kaz rolls through. Kaz gets a slingshot DDT for a close two. He slaps Lethal to fire him up so Jay rifles off chops to the chest. Where else would they go I guess. Lethal sets for the top rope elbow but gets caught by a running enziguri. When did that become the most popular move in the world as everyone seems to use it anymore. Kaz can’t get the reverse tombstone off the top but gets it a few seconds later in the ring for the pin and his fourth X Title.
Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but this wasn’t much of a surprise at all. I really hope they don’t go with the Immortal domination tonight though. This was a fun match and definitely got the crowd into it. I have a bad feeling though that this will be the high point of the card which certainly isn’t a good thing. Still though, at least we got a good match out of the opener.
Daniels and Kazarian would join forces to make AJ Styles’ life miserable. Here’s a match from the feud at Against All Odds 2012.
AJ Styles vs. Kazarian
Kaz is in a shirt which he tries to remove but Daniels says no. AJ controls with a headlock and rips the shirt off himself. They fight over the arm as the fans are all over Daniels. Kaz gets sent to the floor and AJ is in control. Backbreaker puts Kaz down as Styles is working on the back. A flying forearm puts Kaz on the floor for a minute but AJ gets it back inside to avoid Daniels.
A bridging Indian Deathlock with a facelock cranks on Kaz’s back even more. Kaz comes back and slams AJ down so that the spinning springboard legdrop (Wave of the Future maybe?) can get two. Spinwheel kick gets two. Now Kaz works on AJ’s back with a hard whip in and a jumping Russian Legsweep for two. Leg lariat gets the same. Kazarian hooks a double chicken wing on the mat but AJ fights up to his feet.
They slug it out and AJ takes over with a pair of clotheslines and an enziguri. Styles sets for an atomic drop but slams Kaz face first instead, getting two. Styles Clash and Fade to Black are both countered and Kaz hits a dropkick to regain control. AJ grabs a jawbreaker but can’t hit the Clash. Kaz kicks him to the apron and hits a slingshot DDT onto said apron as we hit the floor. Slingshot cutter gets two back in. This is getting good.
AJ is sat up on the top and Kaz hits a running superkick to almost send him to the floor. Kaz goes up for the Flux Capacitor (C4) but AJ knocks him down with a headbutt. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets a very close two. AJ tries a suplex into a neckbreaker but Kaz reverses into a hard Downward Spiral to put everyone down. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence which gets two for both guys and ends with a Pele to put Kaz down. AJ is sent to the apron and loads up a springboard forearm but instead hits a gorgeous Asai Moonsault to take out Daniels. He tries to springboard at Kaz but jumps into Fade To Black for the pin at 18:37.
Rating: B. Can’t argue with this one either. AJ is always awesome to see when he has time and the ability to be himself. Kaz can do great stuff too, but I could do without Daniels ever being near AJ Styles again. At the end of the day, AJ is going to win the feud with him again, just as he has every time they’ve feuded.
We’ll take a break from PPV for a bit to look at an Xplosion match from March 20, 2012.
Eric Young vs. Kazarian
Young and ODB recently won the Knockouts Tag Titles which they still hold as of this writing. There are blue lights in the arena for some reason, making it look like a more laid back Sin Cara match. Eric locks up with the referee to start before things speed up. It’s a crisscross but Kaz rolls out of the ring. Young keeps running until Kaz gets on the mic and calls him a buffoon. Kaz wants none of this tomfoolery so he heads back inside, only to be caught in an armbar.
Young gets thrown to the floor as the fans loudly cheer for the bizarre one. We take a break and come back with Kaz holding a chinlock. Young fights up with some shots to the ribs, only to get caught by a spin kick to the face. Off to a front facelock for a bit until Eric comes back with a jawbreaker. For no apparent reason Young takes his pants off and comes back with a belly to belly suplex. A slam puts Kaz down again and there’s a top rope elbow for two. Kaz comes back by putting Eric’s pants on his face (just go with it) but Eric hits a missile dropkick for two. A low blow and rollup with feet on the ropes gives Kaz the pin.
Rating: D-. I do not like Eric Young. His “comedy” isn’t funny and it only has been once or twice in his entire run in TNA. Seeing a man put his pants on his head and seeing him enjoy it doesn’t make me care about this guy and I have no desire to see his schtick anymore. Hopefully he stops it now that he’s come back to TNA.
Kaz and Daniels would get a Tag Team Title shot on Impact, June 28, 2012.
Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels
Daniels and Kaz are challenging but Kaz doesn’t like Daniels all that much right now. He and AJ start and AJ takes him down followed by a kick to the back. Off to Angle and Kaz tags out, almost by slapping the taste out of Daniels’ mouth. Kurt charges into a boot and Daniels hits his slingshot elbow. Off to Kaz who covers off that elbow for some reason. Daniels yells at Kaz and tags himself back in but runs from AJ. The challengers argue on the floor as we take a break.
Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.
Rating: B-. So Kaz is evil for the sake of being evil. I guess that works, but would this count as two turns in the same show? Eh it’s fine as it’s better with AJ and Kurt not being champions again as the titles weren’t really fitting on them. This was nowhere near as good as the Slammiversary match but it was fine for a TV main event.
Now called Bad Influence, Kaz and Daniels would compete at the first X-Travaganza One Night Only.
Bad Influence vs. Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt
Williams and Daniels get things going with Petey being sent in the corner but coming out with a headscissors and a smack to the face of Kazarian. Off to Dutt for a double elbow for a two count and some shoulders into Daniels’ ribs in the corner. Kaz comes in and ducks a kick, only to be caught by a standing moonsault for two. A dropkick gets the same for Dutt and it’s back to Petey.
Williams hooks a Sharpshooter on Kaz while Dutt hooks an Octopus Hold on Daniels. Petey hits some slick combo moves on both guys by hitting both guys at once before shrugging off a double leg drag. Kaz finally comes back and drapes Williams over the top rope to send him to the floor and take over. Off to Daniels for his slingshot elbow drop followed by the slingshot legdrop from Kaz for two. Daniels hooks a test of strength on Petey and climbs the rope to drive a knee into his chest for two.
We hit the nerve hold by Daniels for a bit before Petey is driven into the corner to break up a comeback. Kaz comes in for a front facelock as things slow down a bit as you would expect them to at some point. Petey finally fights up and gets to the corner for the hot tag to Sonjay. Dutt hits a cool bulldog into the middle buckle and a springboard legdrop onto the back of Daniels’ head for two.
Sonjay misses a springboard clothesline to Daniels and gets caught by a tornado DDT for Kazarian as Taz rips into Earl Hebner for being old. Dutt escapes Fade to Black but gets caught in a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two. Williams comes back in for his headscissors into a Russian legsweep for two on Daniels but Kaz breaks up the Canadian Destroyer.
Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bread on Kaz for two more but Daniels makes the save. Petey sends Daniels to the floor and hits a sweet slingshot rana to take him down. Dutt kicks Kaz in the head and loads up the moonsault double stomp, only to have Daniels break things up. Fade to Black puts Dutt down and the BME is good for the pin for Daniels.
Rating: B. Good fast paced formula based tag match here and that’s really hard to screw up when you have talented guys like these people. Dutt continues to look awesome since his comeback to the company but unfortunately TNA feels the need to focus on bland guys like Zema Ion for reasons I can’t fathom.
Another One Night Only, at Hardcore Justice II.
Bad Influence vs. Generation Me
Ladder match as mentioned and Generation Me are Max and Jeremy Buck. They all shake hands to start but but everyone turns on everyone like true heels should. Generation Me takes over with some quick neckbreakers but Bad Influence takes them down with strikes. We get the first ladders brought in as this is moving very fast so far. Jeremy starts climbing but Kaz pelts another ladder at him for the save. The fans seem to be behind the Bucks as Kaz hits a TKO on Max from the top of the ladder.
Daniels gets backdropped onto a ladder and Kaz gets the same via a monkey flip. A ladder is bridged between the ring and the ladder so Max can spear Kaz down under said ladder. Daniels is dropkicked off the apron onto the ladder but Kaz saves his partner from being splashed through the ladder. Jeremy suplexes Kaz from the apron onto the ladder in a very painful looking landing.
Daniels is stuck in the ring with both Bucks but manages to shove Max off the ladder onto the top rope but Max lands on his feet on the rope and springboards down to take out Kaz. AWESOME bit of balance there. Jeremy goes up but Kaz pops back in with a springboard dropkick to make the save. All of the ladders are down now and a sliding dropkick from Kaz sends Max to the floor. Jeremy makes another save on Daniels by slamming him face first into the mat to put him down. Kaz and Max go up but Daniels throws the Appletini into Buck’s face, allowing Kaz to pull the check down for the win.
Rating: B-. This was the kind of pickup the show needed. Sometimes a good spotfest is the solution to your problems and that’s what we got here. This was also a good example of what happens when you put something on the line in a match like this. The $20,000 isn’t a great prize, but it’s worth more than bragging rights or whatever else you want to say the first two matches were worth. Allegedly Kaz is undefeated in ladder matches in TNA. If so that’s rather impressive.
Back to Impact for Hardcore Justice 2013 on August 15.
Bound For Glory Series: Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kazarian vs. AJ Styles
This is for 20 points and it’s a ladder match. The clipboard hanging above the ring has a piece of paper with the number 20 on it. Keeping it simple I guess. Kaz goes to the floor to get the first ladder but the other three block him from coming back in. Aries and Kaz fight for the ladder on the ramp with Austin letting go of the ladder to send Kaz to the floor. A top rope ax handle puts Kaz down but AJ knocks Hardy to the floor as well. AJ dives onto Hardy to take him down again and leave Styles as the only man standing.
Kaz gets in a ladder shot to put AJ down before climbing the ladder. Aries comes back in and crotches Kaz against the ladder, leaving Austin vs. Jeff in the ring. Jeff sends him to the floor but AJ pulls the ladder away for a showdown. Hardy tries a quick Twist of Fate but gets shoved off and sent to the announce table on the floor. Kaz comes back in with a slingshot DDT to AJ but has to have a forearm duel with Aries. Styles dropkicks the ladder into the back of Kaz’s head but Aries backdrops AJ to the floor. The company is living up to its name for a change as this has been nonstop action since the bell.
Aries runs interference to stop Jeff and AJ from going up the ladder before sending Kaz head first into the post. Austin tries a climb but gets pulled down by Hardy and Jeff knocks down the other two as well. Jeff and Austin both go up but Kaz and AJ make the save, sending all four guys down as we take a break. Back with Aries going up but being pulled down by Kaz before he gets too far. AJ stops both of them and hits the springboard forearm to send Austin to the ramp. The ladder appears to be bent or broken.
Kaz brings in another ladder to clean house but can’t climb up fast enough. All four guys go up at the same time and AJ gets his fingers on the contract but Aries shakes everything up with a sunset bomb to Hardy. Kaz and AJ are left alone on the ladder and they fight over a suplex off the ladder. Kaz rakes AJ’s eyes to put him down but Styles shoves the ladder over, putting everyone down again.
Aries hits his running dropkick in the corner on Styles and goes up but Hardy makes another save. Styles pulls Aries off the ladder and loads up the Styles Clash but Kaz pulls in a downward spiral on AJ at the same time. Kaz goes up but it’s Jeff making another save. Aries comes out of the corner with a missile dropkick to take them both down and goes up as well, but here are Roode and Daniels for a distraction.
Styles plays Shelton Benjamin by springboarding up to the ladder but Hardy shoves the ladder over, sending both guys to the floor. Roode pulls Hardy down as Daniels distracts the referee but Jeff kicks him off. Daniels slips the appletini to Kaz and Jeff gets blinded, allowing Kaz to get the win at 17:35.
Rating: A-. This was the simple formula of take four guys and let them dive off stuff for fifteen minutes or so. I’m not big on another faction in TNA because they’re already on overload with them, but at least they’re not involved with the other two. The action here was great though and they couldn’t have picked a better opener.
We’ll wrap it up in Japan at One Night Only: Global Impact.
Bad Influence vs. Junior Stars
The Junior Stars are Koji Kanemoto and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto wrestled at Starrcade 1995 and invented the Koji Clutch. Tanaka was in TNA for the 2006 World X-Cup. I’m assuming the Junior part is for their weight class and not for their ages. Daniels and Tanaka get things going with Christopher being taken into the corner, where he shouts CLEAN BREAK about fifteen times in a loud voice. Daniels does the same to Tanaka, who shouts the same thing and is granted his request. They hit the mat for a bit before Tanaka dropkicks Daniels’ knee.
Off to Kanemoto vs. Kazarian with Koji taking over, using something like Joe’s Facewash. Taz says Koji invented that move which really wouldn’t surprise me given Joe’s work in Japan. Kaz comes back with a dropkick and is hiptossed onto Koji by Daniels for two. Back to Daniels as Taz makes jokes about photographers. They’re firmly in the “let’s make jokes instead of calling the match” mode tonight.
Bad Influence starts some fast tagging to keep Kanemoto in trouble but he avoids a charge from Daniels to get a breather. A suplex puts Daniels down but there’s no tag to Tanaka. Instead Koji misses a moonsault and a double big boot puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Daniels to face Tanaka with Minoru taking over with shots to the face. Everything breaks down and Tanaka dives off the middle rope to take Daniels down to the floor.
A half butterfly suplex gets two on Christopher and Koji gets two off a 450. Kazarian pulls the referee out to really get the fans’ attention. A powerbomb/neckbreaker combination gets two on Tanaka but he pops up and puts Kaz in an ankle lock. Kanemoto puts Daniels in a cross armbreaker at the same time but Kaz crawls over to save his partner. Why Tanaka lets go of his hold when Tanaka’s is broken isn’t clear. Bad Influence goes High/Low for the pin out of nowhere on Kanemoto.
Rating: C+. The match was fine for an opener as Daniels and Kazarian can wrestle without having to do all their comedy stuff. That fits in better for a more serious show like this, and the match was entertaining as a result. It wasn’t anything spectacular but not every match has to be.
Kazarian may never have been the star of the X-Division but he was always good at what he did. He found a niche in ladder matches and was one of the most successful performers ever in the gimmick. I love his stuff with Daniels as they’ve found something absolutely hilarious and are allowed to have fun out there.
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Wrestler of the Day – July 14: Joey Mercury
Today we’re looking at a guy who was around for a long time and actually didn’t do that badly for himself. Today is Joey Mercury.
Mercury started as Joey Matthews in 1998 but we’ll start things off in 2000. Matthews would team up with Christian York to form a Hardy Boys ripoff team in the dying days of ECW. Here they are at Massacre on 34th Street.
Simon Diamond/Swinger vs. Christian York/Joey Matthews
Before the match, Dawn Marie comes out and says she’s leaving with the winners. Dawn makes sure to drop the contract for her services twice so she can pick it up. It’s a brawl to start with Simon being sent to the floor and Swinger being caught in a double powerbomb. We settle down to York vs. Simon with Diamond nailing two quick kicks to the head to knock Joey to the floor. Back in Swinger takes over on York before bringing Simon back in for a double legsweep.
Simon hits his rolling suplexes into the gordbuster but misses a charge into the corner. Swinger walks into wheelbarrow slam and the hot tag brings in Matthews. Joey cleans house and hammers on Swinger outside before York hits a huge plancha onto both of them. Everything breaks down and Simon plants Matthews with a reverse DDT. A double superplex to Matthews is broken up and York pulls Simon down with a sitout powerbomb. Matthews hits a top rope hurricanrana, setting up a top rope elbow from York for the pin on Swinger.
Rating: C. This was fine for an opener as York and Matthews are fun to watch. They’re not the same kind of team that most that most guys in this division are at this point and it makes them a different kind of entertaining. Simon and Swinger have cooled off a lot but they’re still a solid act.
The team would continue to work together, including this match at the first TNA Weekly PPV on June 19, 2002.
Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. The Dupps
The Dupps are named Stan (Trevor Murdoch) and Bo. Stan Dupp. Oh dear. Their cousin is both of their girlfriends. I hate this gimmick already. The faces are your standard face cruiserweight tag team. They have a ton of charisma if nothing else, but they’re just generic. After the faces dominate for about two minutes the girl interferes to crotch York for the pin.
Rating: F-. This was a waste of 4 minutes of my life. The heels had NO offense but they win on a fluke anyway. That’s just crap but of course it’s what they went with here. I hated this and they could have used it for ANYTHING else. Somehow the Dupps would work for WWE on a developmental deal. For the life of me I have no idea why they kept getting work.
Matthews wrestled on and off in ROH for years, including this match at Death Before Dishonor 2003.
Crazy K vs. Willow vs. Joey Matthews
Willow is of course Jeff Hardy and he’s drawing a WE WANT MATT chant. He sits down in the corner to start as the other guys brawl. Joey will have none of that and goes after Willow. He tries to rip off the mask as the announcers acknowledge the Matt chants. Crazy heads outside and Willow takes the mask off before stomping away even more. A double flapjack puts Matthews down and it’s Willow vs. Crazy. Interestingly enough, Crazy was trained by Jeff.
Crazy botches a spinning DDT (again acknowledged by the announcers) but Matthews is back in for the save. Matthews laughs at the fans for some reason but Willow jumps him from behind to take over on the floor. Crazy dives on both guys to take them out before everyone heads back inside.
Hardy is now in his regular gear instead of the black suit he started the match in. A slow motion Poetry in Motion crushes Joey in the corner and Crazy totally screws up a sunset flip on Hardy for two. Matthews breaks up the Swanton for the biggest reaction of the night but Jeff shoves him down and nails the Bomb on Joey instead. Jeff grabs a cradle on Crazy for the pin.
Rating: D. This was awful as a match but fascinating as a crowd study. They HATED Jeff Hardy here at a level I’ve almost never seen. To be fair though, the announcers talked about Jeff cutting a promo saying he was burned out on wrestling, basically making it sound like he was there for a check and nothing else. That’s the way he wrestled too and that’s not good. Crazy wasn’t much better with all the botches but at least he tried.
Matthews would head back to OVW and hook up with Johnny Nitro to form MNM, along with Nitro’s manager Melina. Here’s their debut match from April 17, 2004 on OVW TV.
MNM vs. Maven/Matt Cappotelli
It’s a brawl to start with Maven and Cappotelli clearing the ring. Nitro gets knocked out to the floor but is still able to pose for his introduction. Nice touch. Things settle down with Cappotelli hammering on Matthews before getting his hands on his former partner Nitro. Johnny runs for the floor to hide, suckering Matt into a double team in the process. MNM double teams Matt down and Nitro stomps on him for two.
Maven finally comes in to break up the double teaming and causes some miscommunication from MNM. Matt crawls to the wrong corner but stops a charging Nitro with a boot to the face. Now the hot tag brings Maven in to clean house with a missile dropkick for two on Nitro. Melina comes in and rakes Maven’s eyes, setting up a swinging fisherman’s suplex for the pin on Maven.
Rating: C. I liked MNM a lot more than I was expecting to. For those of you that never got to see him, make no mistake about it: Matt Cappotelli was good. Like, better than Nitro at this point good. He was a natural in the ring and was easily my favorite guy in OVW for a long time. He’s one of the biggest “what if’s” I’ve ever seen in wrestling.
The team was good enough that they were on Smackdown in a year and challenging for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles on April 21, 2005.
Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero
MNM is challenging of course and the champions have been having issues lately. Eddie goes off on Nitro to start but it’s quickly off to Mercury. The champions send Joey to the floor and we take a break. Back with Eddie hammering on Nitro before it’s off to Rey for a kick to the chest. A dropkick sets up the slingshot hilo for two and a belly to back gets the same on Nitro. MNM gets in a few cheap shots and knocks Eddie off the apron to take over.
Mercury throws Eddie onto Nitro’s knee for two and a running knee to the ribs gets the same. We hit the abdominal stretch for a few seconds until Eddie nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A hot tag brings in Mysterio to clean house, including a springboard seated senton for two on Mercury. Everything breaks down and Eddie busts out Three Amigos on Mercury to set up the 619. Melina makes the save and kisses Batista, allowing MNM to hit the Snapshot for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C-. The match was mainly there so Eddie and Rey could split up after the match and start their feud. It also allows MNM to look good in their debut match and get the titles on a young team. Eddie and Rey handled the wrestling here but the Snapsnot was a nice double team move. Picture a 3D with Nitro hitting a DDT instead of a cutter.
Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2005.
Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas
MNM have the belts here of course. Melina runs her mouth and yet says nothing at all. Amazing how so many of the Divas do that. Why in the world are Holly and Haas teaming together? Oh that’s right: the tag division was atrocious at this point. As in worse than it is today. Nitro (Morrison) vs. Haas to start us off. Key lock by Nitro and Haas is like “boy are you trying to wrestle me” and sends him to the floor.
Arm work by Haas including a HARD arm drag. Off to Holly vs. Mercury now. Oh dear this is going to be bad. Holly gets his one move, the dropkick, for two. Allegedly low blow pops the crowd a bit but Mercury gets a hard chop to take over. Scratch the taking over part as they’re going to chop it out a bit. Alabama Slam is set up but Haas distracts the referee for some reason, allowing Nitro to kick Holly and shift momentum.
Nitro hammers away on Holly and I wonder how Holly feels that his student is 10x the star that Holly ever was. Mercury back in and this is more or less shouting WE SHOULD BE ON SMACKDOWN! Chinlock goes on to waste some time. Holly manages to get a full nelson slam and…..and….my goodness it’s a HOLLY chant! Jesse Ventura must have poisoned this crowd and taken over their heads. That has to be on the next season of Conspiracy Theory.
Haas comes in and clears house, sending both guys to the floor and hitting a big dive to take both of them out. Melina tries to trip up Haas but she gets sent to the floor. Haas cleans house but can’t get an exploder suplex. Haas has the pin but the referee is distracted. Holly apparently stepped out for doughnuts or something as MNM hits the Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) for the pin to retain.
Rating: B-. Considering who was in there, this was a miracle. The crowd was INTO this, despite it being more or less an extended TV match. Haas and Holly would of course never team again but hey I can let that slide. At one point Tatanka and Matt Hardy were a team. Are you starting to see how bad this division was? Anyway, shockingly good match here and a hot crowd on top of that.
And another defense from Armageddon 2005, now in the third title reign.
MNM vs. Mexicools
MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.
Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.
Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.
Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.
Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).
Here’s another title defense from Judgment Day 2006.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM
MNM have the titles here. Melina does her usual sexy entrance. MNM has lost 5 times in a row to Londrick. How in the world are they still champions then? Nice pop for the challengers. London vs. Nitro (Morrison) to start us off. London speeds things way up and the crowd is white hot. The challengers tag in and out very fast as they work the arm of Nitro.
Mercury comes in and finally takes over a bit. Shoulder block gets two for Kendrick. Londrick clears the ring and it’s high spot time. Mercury comes back in and avoids a big cross body to give MNM the advantage. Melina lets loose the screams. You can hear Morrison’s push dying with every one. She throws a head scissors on London for two.
We hit the chinlock as I guess the future straightedge masked man needs a breather. Collision puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to bring in Kendrick and Nitro. Snapshot to Kendrick (elevate DDT) gets two as London saves. Good thing the referee glared at him in between the 1 and 2 counts to make sure he made the save. Morrison throws a chinlock on Kendrick as we reset things again.
Delayed vertical suplex by Mercury gets two on Kendrick. It’s the old school style of “what do we have to do to beat this small man???” which is always good. Off to another chinlock as London plays cheerleader. I’d prefer Melina but I’ll take what I can get. Nitro poses on a cover for two and gets all ticked off. This would be similar to the AGGRESSIVE Morrison we saw a few weeks ago.
Chinlock #4 goes on as it’s pretty clear they got a bit too much time in this. Kendrick gets a reversal to send Mercury into Morrison and it’s hot tag London. After cleaning house he gets a dropsault to cover Nitro but Melina comes in and screams for the save. No touching, just stuff with the mouth. Works for me. They can’t get the suplex/hold the foot pin to work so Kendrick totally misses a huge dive and THUDS on the floor. Sick sound too. MNM tries some double teaming but HEEL MISCOMMUNICATION lets London get a jackknife pin on Mercury to give them small dudes the tag titles which they would hold about 11 months.
Rating: B. Good match here to be sure but the amount of resting hurt it. This would be a higher grade if Nitro or Mercury was a bit better in the ring but pretty good other than that. Nitro would get a lot better of course while Mercury just kind of floundered for a long time. Melina and the screaming was good too. Fun opener and the crowd was into it the whole time, which is the idea.
Melina blames Mercury post match and slaps him. The guys go at it and she kicks Mercury in the head. This is the end of the team I guess. The referee gets a swift kick in the balls too. The pull apart brawl goes on for awhile as Teddy Long goes down also.
MNM would reunite at December to Dismember 2006 as they answered an open challenge from the Hardys.
MNM vs. Hardys
This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.
The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.
Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.
Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.
Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.
They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.
In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidently dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.
Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.
Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.
This led to an awesome fourway ladder match at Armageddon 2006.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys
MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.
Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.
The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.
Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.
Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.
Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.
Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.
Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.
Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.
Joey spent years on and off in OVW so I have to pick up something else from him around there. Here’s a match from one of his later runs, at some point in May 2008.
Rudy Switchblade vs. Joey Matthews
Switchblade is a pretty basic guy but he could cut a solid enough promo to work well in a place like OVW. Joey is wrestling in jeans and has been extra violent lately. They trade arm work with Rudy taking over. Matthews comes back with a gutbuster and a running shoulder in the corner for two. We hit an abdominal stretch on Switchblade but he comes back with a hiptoss and backslide for two. A slingshot hilo and neckbreaker put Matthews down but Switchblade’s upcoming opponent JD Michaels crotches Rudy down, giving Joey the pin.
Rating: D+. Switchblade was a rookie at this point but he didn’t do too badly for himself out there. Matthews worked really well as a guy being himself but very aggressive and wanting to hurt people rather than beat them. The match was just there as a way to set up JD vs. Rudy and having Joey get a win is fine.
Mercury would take 2009 off due to injuries but come back to WWE as part of CM Punk’s Straightedge Society. Here they are facing Big Show at Summerslam 2010.
Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society
Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.
Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.
The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.
Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?
This would be Mercuy’s last match as the injuries caught up with him. Mercury is a guy who is better in the ring than he’s known for being and made for a good tag wrestler in the faster paced matches. He wasn’t much on his own, but he could do good things when he was a wingman. He’s a good choice for the agent role he’s since taken up.
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