Starrcade 2000 (2016 Redo): They Used To Be Good At This
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2000
Date: December 17, 2000
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 6,596
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
1997 – 17,500
1998 – 16,066
1999 – 8,582
2000 – 6,596
3 Count vs. Noble and Karagias vs. Jung Dragons
With Evan on the bridged ladder, Kaz tries to springboard in, only to get powerslammed out of the air for a great looking landing. Shannon springboards onto the ladder for a Fameasser onto Evan, leaving Shane to grab a neckbreaker to bring Noble off the ladder. Yang, Noble and 3 Count go up two different ladders so Noble sunset bombs Helms down and Shannon plants Yang with a sleeper drop.
Jim Duggan is polishing his board (dude CLOSE THE DOOR) when Lance Storm comes in to say no one is going to take Jim back. If Duggan wants a paycheck, his future is with Team Canada. After all those times where Duggan has screwed up, why would Storm want him around?
Jeff Jarrett asks Mike Sanders to make the six man against the Filthy Animal a Bunkhouse street fight.
Kronik is in a steam room and will be getting paid tonight, cash in hand. Adams: “Wow, am I baked.”
Lance Storm vs. The Cat
Team Canada beats Duggan down post match.
The ambulance arrives.
Reno and Vito tell the Thrillers to mind their own business tonight.
Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Crowbar
Lex Luger has brass knuckles ready for Goldberg.
Kronik vs. Big Vito/Reno
Post match Reno pays Kronik off and rejoins the Thrillers, making this whole story a complete waste of time. Kronik beats Vito up a bit more.
3 Count argues over who gets the title shot tomorrow night so Chavo comes in and beats them down.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mike Awesome
US Title: Shane Douglas vs. Hugh Morrus
Shane beats on him with the chain post match until Chavo comes in for the failed save. The Misfits come in to clear Shane out but Lash sides with Chavo and AWALL sides with Morrus.
Glacier is still coming back.
Nash and Page laugh off the idea of Perfect Event as any kind of a threat and make jokes with Buff.
Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. Filthy Animals
Rating: C. Other than the ladder match, I think I liked the wrestling section in the middle of this match better than anything else on the show tonight. It was so nice to hit the brakes for a bit and just watch something out of a wrestling match. But hey, where would we be without an exploding bar and a popcorn machine?
Sarge thinks Goldberg is ready for Luger. Lex runs in and beats him down until Buff gets rid of him.
We cut away from this and look at the weapons being taken away.
The announcers talk about Goldberg to kill time.
Tag Team Titles: Insiders vs. Perfect Event
Perfect Event is defending and this is a rematch from last month where the Insiders won the titles but had them stripped away because they pinned the wrong man. Before the match, Flair says the title change hands if Sanders goes anywhere near the ring. You know, aside from being at ringside as a manager. Nash and Palumbo get things going with Kevin hitting some running clotheslines in the corner.
Chuck wants a timeout so Stasiak gets in a cheap shot from the apron, only to have Page get tagged in a few seconds later for a flying shoulder. Page ducks a boot in the corner and crotches Stasiak against the post. A belly to belly gets two but Shawn gets out of the Diamond Cutter. Page hits a quick Rock Bottom (called a chokeslam which is close enough) but Palumbo sneaks in with a Jungle kick to put Page down.
Rating: D+. The match was actually decent with the old school formula but the same problem stands: the Insiders, a team thrown together about five weeks ago, have now decisively beaten the Thrillers twice in a row to give them another unnecessary title. As late as it is, this is another on the long list of things that killed WCW. At some point, you have to have these old guys lay down and take a big fall from someone under the age of thirty.
Goldberg vs. Lex Luger
Back in and Luger hides behind the referee to avoid the spear before the brass knuckles knock Goldberg silly for two. The Blockbuster hits Goldberg “by mistake”, ignoring the fact that Luger was touching the turnbuckle when Bagwell jumped. Bagwell hits Sarge to officially turn heel, leaving Goldberg to hit the two moves to reach 31-0.
Bagwell lays Goldberg out with the chair post match.
WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sid Vicious
Sid is challenging. Steiner pounds him into the corner to start but Sid catches him with some clotheslines and a side slam to send the champ outside. Back in and Steiner poses a lot before easily winning a test of strength. Sid gets back up and puts Scott down, setting up a legdrop across the face for two.
Steiner holds up the belt, with one of the side plates hanging off, and flips off the fans to end the show.
The show felt like a card they scraped together with whatever leftovers they had at the time and then slapped STARRCADE on the marquee. Nothing on this show felt like it mattered or seemed important or had any other purpose than making sure the same people were in the same spots as we head into 2001. The really fun ladder match at the beginning was forgotten by the end of the show due to all of the other hardcore messes in the middle, which was probably the idea at some point. Why let them get over when the made men can get over even more?
Above all else, this show was disappointing. Any given Wrestlemania card can be lackluster and still feel like something special on the strength of being Wrestlemania alone. That should be the case with Starrcade but I might as well have been watching Uncensored or Souled Out with what we got here.
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