Bash at the Beach 1997
Date: July 13, 1997
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 7,851
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

I’ll be doing the three Bashes in a row and then probably just doing individual shows again for awhile. It’s 1997 and the unofficial anniversary of the NWO being formed. This was in that weird period for WCW as everything was setting up for Sting vs. Hogan, but at the same time it took forever to get there because we waited 9 months between Sting’s moment of showing he was WCW and the actual match. The main event here is Luger/Giant vs. Hogan/Rodman. As in Dennis Rodman. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is Luger ranting about the NWO and how Rodman has been all mean to them and jumped them a few times.

The announcers talk a bit and apparently Page has a mystery partner for later that is either Curt Hennig, Sting or Raven.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Ernest Miller/Glacier

These four seemingly had more matches on PPV than I can count. Glacier is all ticked off to start and spears down Mortis so he can pound on him. He looks at Wrath and freezes him somehow so that Miller can hit a springboard dropkick to take the big man down. Off to Miller vs. Wrath now as we’re told Miller played for the Falcons and Patriots. I can’t find any evidence of this anywhere else and I’ve never heard of it otherwise. Why does that not shock me?

Miller fires off some kicks but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a middle rope elbow misses. Glacier comes in and hits a double dropkick with Miller to Wrath for two. Glacier goes to the floor where Mortis beats him up a bit. Wrath hits a pretty nice running somersault off the apron to take out the ice enthusiast. He finds a chair to put against Glacier’s head so Mortis can kick the chair into Glacier’s head into the post.

Back inside now for Glacier vs. Mortis. Heenan says there’s something between these two in the past but Glacier doesn’t want to go into what it is. Wrath comes back in and they hit Beer Money’s DWI for two. ROH fans will like this as Wrath throws on a Billy Goat’s Curse and Mortis drops a leg at the same time.

Mortis misses a moonsault and Miller comes in illegally to help Glacier. Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) takes out both heels. Everything breaks down and Glacier gets a DDT to put Mortis down for a delayed too. James Vandenberg, the manager of Mortis/Wrath puts a chain on Mortis’ foot so a kick to the chest ends this for Glacier’s first loss.

Rating: B-. Better match than you would expect here and I liked it for the most part. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and he can do some interesting stuff. Wrath was shockingly good here too and is a guy I’ve always liked a little so that’s a nice perk. Also, notice how much better it is with guys to compliment the martial arts guys. You get a much better match.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon

Jericho is champion. He’s a face and hasn’t been champion long. I think Dragon is also but I’m not sure. To the shock of no one they start on the mat. Neither guy can hit a kick so they lock up again. Dragon does his handstand in the corner and of course no one can touch him as he does that. There are the kicks from Dragon and he puts on a nerve hold but just for a few seconds.

Jericho counters Dragon’s offense into a double powerbomb and a senton backsplash gets two. The fans want Sting. Just another five months for that guys. Jericho works on the back before the speed things up a bit. Moonsault press gets two for the Canadian as does a tiger driver. I’m not sure what happened here but they both go up to the top and Jericho tries a dropkick which clearly misses by about 8 inches but Dragon drops to the floor anyway. The announcers say he missed it and that Dragon fell to avoid it but it looked like a botch.

Anyway Jericho hits a plancha and they go back in. A rana by Dragon out of the corner doesn’t work as he gets shoved to the floor. Jericho dives on him but gets caught by a dropkick in a cool looking shot. Snap suplex on the floor has Jericho in trouble, yet he was back in the ring first. Dragon gets him to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault to put both guys down.

Back in the ring and both guys try La Magistral but can’t get the pin. They speed things way up into some pinfall reversal sequences but Jericho counters a Dragon Sleeper attempt and they both go outside. Back in again and Jericho hits a Lionsault to the back for two. Another Lionsault attempt is countered by a dropkick and Dragon tries both his finisher with no success. Muta style moonsault gets no cover for Dragon and Jericho counters a powerbomb counter into a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: C+. This was actually kind of a mess. Far more of a collection of spots than a coherent match with any form of a story or anything like that throughout it. It’s certainly good and the big spots were cool, but I’m not sure if they really had this planned out all that well. They just kind of missed here.

Gene comes to the ring to talk to Raven. He asks Raven about being DDP’s mystery partner so Raven recites a poem. Stevie Richards pops up and mentions an announcement Raven has tomorrow on Nitro, earning him a backhand slap from Raven. The announcement might have been the formation of the Flock but I’m not sure.

Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono/Great Muta

They’re NWO Japan and if the Steiners win they’re #1 contenders….again. WCW has this really annoying habit of having teams (usually the Steiners) win title shots “somewhere down the line” but they never actually got them. The Japanese dudes clear the ring rather quickly so the Steiners go up top and hit a pair of clotheslines to send the foreigners to the floor. Chono gets in an argument with some guy at ringside before we get this going.

Scott and Muta get us going. Scott pounds away and Muta is like boy please and kicks away. Steiner finally gets his butterfly powerbomb to take over and hits a gorilla press to send Muta outside again. Off to Chono and Rick, whose eyes look all freaky. Chono gets annoyed with the bug eyes and hits a SICK Mafia kick to put Rick down.

Test of strength results in a kick to Rick’s ribs and they switch off again. Scott likes to pound Muta on the back. Belly to belly superplex to Muta doesn’t work as Chono grabs an electric chair drop and Muta hits the handspring elbow to take over. Chono goes up and he winds up taking the aforementioned belly to belly to put both guys down.

Hot tag Rick who hits belly to bellies on both guys. Steiner bulldog gets two. Scott goes up as the illegal man and gets caught in a rana by Muta. Rick by in and gets caught in a leg whip by Muta but manages a suplex for two. Everything breaks down again and while Chono argues with the referee, a super DDT (Rick puts him on his shoulders so Scott can hit a DDT off the top) ends Muta.

Rating: D+. Match was another mess with no flow to it at all. The Steiners were so bored/boring by this point that it was unreal. They had beaten every team in existence and there was no one left to challenge them. Since the Outsiders were allergic to wrestling I suppose, this was just another waste of time and it was pretty clear the Steiners didn’t care at all.

Juventud Guerrera/Hector Garza/Lizmark Jr. vs. La Parka/Psicosis/Villano IV

Ready for some pointless lucha libre for the sake of only having lucha libre? Onoo is with Parka and Psicosis. This is under lucha libre rules, meaning if you go to the floor someone else on your team can come in sans tag. Lizmark and Psicosis start us off as Tenay tries to explain rudos vs. technicos. Juventud’s team is technico here. They do some speed stuff and then Villano and Garza come in because they feel like it.

Things speed up and after this point I’m really not going to try to keep track of what’s going on because the point of it is to go completely insane for awhile. Sonny tries to kick Juvy but he moves and the kick hits La Parka instead. The power of money keeps him from mauling Onoo. Psicosis misses a running dropkick and the rudo team has an argument.

Juvy hits a springboard triple splash for two and all three technicos hit stereo planchas as the referee literally ducks and covers in the corner. Juvy tries a springboard cross body but Psicosis gets something like a dropkick up to block it. They go to the corner and Psicosis gets something like a sunset bomb on steroids for two. They do some more insane stuff and Garza gets a moonsault press for two.

Everything breaks down again as some heels collide. We get the four man move called the Star that never got over in America. Basically they’re all on the mat and have leg locks on someone while two guys get in the middle and do a move. It’s WAY too contrived to look good at all. Five man Tower of Doom is broken up and everyone goes to the floor.

Lizmark is the last one out with a big dive to Villano. Air Juvy (love that move) and again I can’t keep up with this at all. Garza hits his HUGE corkscrew plancha to take out everyone else. Villiano V comes out and switches with his brother but gets caught by a missile dropkick and standing moonsault for the pin by Garza.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because from an American standpoint, it was an insane mess but from a lucha libre standpoint, I’d think it was rather good. It certainly was exciting and got the crowd going again, but at the same time this kind of stuff happened about once a PPV for WCW. This was one of the more fun ones though.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan gets some big sendoff by the announcers like he was some great guy or something.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

Jeff is champion here. They both pose with the belt to waste some time. It should be noted that Jarrett is about as popular as George Wells was. If you’re saying “who?” to that name, you’re getting the point. There’s a reason he would be back in the WWF in about three months. Jarrett takes him down to start and struts to waste some more time. He is from Tennessee after all.

He wastes too much time though and walks into a Bossman Slam. Mongo takes out the knee so Jeff heads to the floor a bit longer. For some reason Jeff accepts a test of strength with a big power wrestler. What could go wrong with this? It’s pretty clear Mongo has no idea how to actually pace a match or use psychology or anything like that at all but he’s not messing up every move anymore.

Out to the floor and Mongo goes into the steps. That doesn’t seem to hurt him and Jeff goes into the railing to further injure the knee. Mongo chokes him with a cord and we head back into the ring. Weak gorilla press is followed by a powerslam for two. Mongo misses a knee in the corner and now Jeff uses a football tackle on the knee. There’s a second one and Mongo is down. He sets for the Figure Four but Debra gets up on the apron, “accidentally” gives Jarrett the case and he hits Mongo with it….in the arm. He tries again and hits him in the head for the pin to retain. Debra leaves with Jeff.

Rating: D. The lack of psychology and anything remotely resembling it hurt this a lot. Mongo would get the title in a few weeks so it’s not like this mattered that much. Jarrett and Debra would go back to the WWF soon enough so we didn’t have to put up with this feud much longer. Jarrett got better with age but at this point he wasn’t nearly as good as he’s known as today.

Hogan and Rodman say nothing of note.

Scott Hall/Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page/???

Hall is a tag champion but is teaming with Savage here because Nash is busy at a taco festival I suppose. The partner is likely either Raven, Hennig or Sting. It’s pretty clearly not going to be Sting because it would be too big of a waste for his return. Raven….probably not due to it being kind of a big jump up for him in the card. Hennig was more or less the default pick and it turns out he is in fact the partner. This is his WCW debut in the ring, because he popped up on Nitro for no apparent reason other than to make sure this wasn’t an actual shocking debut at the PPV.

Page vs. Savage starts us off which is one that’s hard to screw up based on how obsessive they were about setting up matches beforehand. Page sends him to the floor and Savage stalls some more. There’s a bunch of stuff in the ring for some reason and Savage doesn’t want to fight. Not sure what it is but the referee keeps wiping it off the mat. Off to Hall vs. Hennig now and they look at each other a lot. They go to the corner and Hennig actually gives a clean break.

Both combinations seem more interested in seeing how long they can go without actually getting into a full on match. Curt hits an atomic drop and Hall does his hop selling. Back to Page so he can hammer on Scott a bit. Page gets beaten down and it’s the NWO in control. Since it’s a match between 1996 and 1999, Page has bad ribs. Out to the floor and the beating continues. Hall gets a discus punch for two.

Back off to Savage as Page gets a right hand in. Page kind of falls down and it’s ice cold tag to Hennig. Granted the match is like seven minutes old at this point so it’s not like he was in peril long. And since this is in 1997, Hennig of course turns on Page and leaves him to the wolves known as Hall and Savage. The beating goes on for awhile and the big elbow ends it. Hennig wouldn’t officially join the NWO for a few weeks after pretending to join the Horsemen.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here as the whole thing was about going from debut to the turn (if you can actually be one way or the other after five minutes) in under ten minutes, which is pretty wasteful but they’re trying at least. Hennig would join the Horsemen soon enough and then the NWO because that’s what everyone did, minute the Horsemen part I guess.

Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair

Because the fans were BEGGING for it! WCW really doesn’t help themselves with the lack of recaps. I have no idea why most of these matches are happening and it’s totally random as to whether or not you get a recap of it. Even a quick sentence can sum up a lot of stuff. To the shock of no one, this is more of a brawl than a match. Piper beats the tar out of him to start and sends him to the floor.

Back in and Piper chops away in the corner and Flair is looking like a clueless putz. No idea if Flair is face or heel here. Piper hammers away in the corner and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Flair eats post and Piper chops away some more. I don’t think he’s done anything but punch or chop. Back in again and Flair gets a shot to the knee to take over. Figure Four goes on and Piper reverses it.

Roddy actually gets a swinging neckbreaker for two. Wouldn’t have expected that one. Low blow takes the Canadiscot down and it’s back to the knee. That doesn’t work either so Piper fires off punches and kicks Flair’s leg. Out to the floor again which doesn’t last long. Back in Flair gets a jawbreaker to quickly break up a sleeper.

After a bunch of two counts Flair goes up and you know how that goes. Figure Four goes onto Flair and is broken rather quickly. Illegal object from Flair is stolen by Piper and Flair goes out. Here are the Horsemen and Piper of course outsmarts them until Mongo of all people is able to piledrive him. That only gets two and Piper Hulks Up. Sleeper ends this which is supposed to be some big deal, even though WE HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY’RE FIGHTING.

Rating: C+. Well I can’t really say it sucked, but is there any real point in having these guys fight? It’s not a bad match and is actually kind of good, but the time hurt it as this got nearly 15 minutes and with Piper only being able to chop and punch, how good can it really get? Also, no Malenko, Guerrero or Mysterio on here, but they get 15 minutes. And people wonder why this company went out of business.

Dennis Rodman/Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

I get that Rodman was a legit big draw and at the time he was an A-list celebrity so it’s not as stupid as it sounds like now, but what does this accomplish from a storyline perspective? Oh that’s right: it keeps Hogan from having to defend the title so he can hold it even longer. Buffer says tens of millions of people are watching this around the world. Savage is out with the heels here.

Luger and Hogan start and I’d expect Hogan to wrestle more in this match than he has in the past five weeks combined. They go to the mat and it’s just ugly. We put the camera on Andrew Galotta (boxer) and Rodman’s agent for awhile. Not much contact so far as Hogan is stalling a lot, mainly because were twenty five minutes left in the show when the bell rang.

The first major contact is a shoulder block by Hogan about three minutes in. Luger hits one as well and by hits I mean you can see a good three inches between their arms. Hogan hammers him down and it’s his usual heel stuff. He asks the fans if they want Rodman to come in and it’s pretty clear Rodman is the most popular guy in the building. Hogan goes over and makes the tag and it’s time for the announcers to overhype everything like never before.

Rodman is in sunglasses here. He stalls like Larry Zbyszko dreams of and they lock up. Rodman gets an armdrag and the reaction from the announcers (the WCW ones mind you, as in the ones that HATE the NWO) makes the one when Sting won the title later in the year pale in comparison. I mean they lose their minds because Rodman hit an armdrag. Luger armdrags both guys twice and the overreaction is just stupid. Have these guys never seen a Ricky Steamboat match? This is proving why the match is stupid, right here.

A leapfrog and a shoulder block by Rodman (meaning a basketball player is capable of jumping and leaning his arm forward) are hailed as “flashes of brilliance” by Tony. The guys on Tough Enough have flashes of brilliance in their second episode then. A single clothesline sends Rodman looking for a nurse and it’s off to Giant vs. Hogan. They proceed to do a basic Nitro match for a few minutes as no one cares with no Rodman in there.

Rodman offers to come in and fight the Giant and plays face because he doesn’t know any better. He tries more leapfrogs and then we realize that it’s stupid to try to jump over a guy called THE GIANT. Heenan loses his mind because his apparently new sexual object of desire known as Rodman is in trouble. If you were new to this product and heard the commentators, you would swear Hogan and Rodman were the good guys.

Hogan and Rodman get a double clothesline to Giant and Rodman breaks up Hogan’s pin attempt for some reason. Hot (and unseen) tag brings in Luger but Hogan takes him down pretty easily. Savage interferes and this is rapidly getting boring. There’s the legdrop for two and ZERO reaction from the crowd and announcers. This is the Hulk Hogan legdrop and it got no reaction. Maybe Hogan should try a leapfrog. Actually that would get a reaction.

Back off to Rodman as this slows down even more. There’s the foot choke in the corner which gets a bigger reaction than the Hogan legdrop. Another unseen tag brings in Giant but this one doesn’t count for some reason. Giant comes in anyway and here’s Not Sting. He hits Giant with the bat and everyone thinks he’s NWO. Pay no attention to the fact that he’s maybe an inch shorter than Giant and comes in over the top rope. Hogan accidentally hits Rodman and the Rack ends Hogan finally.

Rating: F+. Totally awful main event but the announcers overreacting is pretty funny stuff. In short, Rodman isn’t a wrestler so he’s not really at fault here. I mean, would you turn down probably a minimum of six figures for twenty minutes of “work”? He just took a check and did his thing out there to a huge reaction. That being said, this proves nothing and the whole thing was just a mess because we had to protect Rodman (again not his fault).

Luger Racks Rodman and Savage post match.

Overall Rating: D. This was a hard one to grade. It’s certainly a low level show and that needs to be kept in mind. This show wasn’t about having a good show but rather having a big buyrate due to Rodman. It’s definitely not the worst show ever but it shows a lot of what’s coming for WCW and how things would start falling apart. They clearly weren’t trying that much here and they wouldn’t do much next month either because it was in front of a bunch of drunk bikers. Bad show, but for different reasons than usual.

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Superstars of Wrestling
Date: September 27, 1986
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7000
Commentators: Bruno Sammartino, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon

Back for another episode in this series and the main attraction this week is the debate/likely fight between the Flower Shop of Adrian Adonis and Piper’s Pit of Roddy Piper. Other than that I wouldn’t expect much more than a bunch of squashes, but at least they’re short and get things done with quickly. Let’s get to it.

Usual opening stuff.

Harley Race vs. Mike Kelly

Kelly would once again be Shane Douglas. That’s the good thing about jobbers: no one cares enough to remember their faces. Race beats him up like Shane is some loudmouthed guy that had one famous moment and was then made into some kind of hero in a glorified indy company because he threw down a title that didn’t mean anything and has tried to make a career out of that for almost twenty years since because he simply wasn’t good enough to make it big anywhere else but a dying WCW who would take ANYBODY. Fisherman’s suplex ends this quick.

Ricky Steamboat is in Hawaii. Fighting ninjas. Yeah that’s what he’s doing alright. This is really campy as the ninjas are in full fledged ninja gear and look about as effective as Foot Soldiers from TMNT 2.

Billy Graham talks about his big return tonight. He and Jesse have a bit of an argument about who influenced who.

Bob Bradley vs. Billy Graham

What is with this Bradley guy? I’ve never seen him before and then he’s in three of the four shows I do. This is Graham’s first WWF match in three years after going to the NWA for awhile and becoming a karate master. Vince freaks when Graham takes his shirt off, shocking no one. It’s a former world champion’s first match in three years. What do you think is going to happen here? Bearhug ends it in less than a minute and a half. Graham wouldn’t have another WWF match for almost a year.

Heenan’s team isn’t worried about the Machines.

Tony Parks vs. Kamala

I don’t see this going well for Parks. Maybe we can get Joseph to help him? The Wizard talks about Kamala wanting Hogan. The announcers debate why Kamala beats on his stomach as the beating begins. Vince asks why someone like Parks would sign on for a match like this. That’s a really good question. Shouldn’t you hold out for a lower level opponent? A top rope splash finishes the murder.

Boston house show ad which we’ve heard about for almost a month now. Tito says he’s going to take care of Race and says a lot of stuff in Spanish.

Time for the Pit vs. Shop. Piper gets a big ovation and Adonis is booed out of the arena. His guest is Bob Orton who thinks Adonis’ show is better. Piper walks onto the set of the Flower Shop and goes off on Orton, saying that he was nothing without Piper. Piper says Orton sold out and tells the cameraman to come to the Pit which gets a big ovation. His guest is Muraco who can’t remember the name of the show he’s on. He was the guest host of the Body Shop in Ventura’s absence.

Adonis comes over to keep arguing but gets sent away by Piper. Muraco doesn’t like the kilt and Adonis comes back to talk about flowers some more. Piper gives him some underwear and Muraco yells about not getting enough attention. He says this is a cartoon. I think he’s got the wrong studio. Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Wrestling is down the street. Muraco yells about how much better Adonis’ show is so Piper calls him fatso. It finally gets to the violence with Adonis breaking a flower pot over his head and beating on Piper’s bad leg with a chair. They destroy the set and cover Piper’s face with lipstick. Great beatdown.

Slick says he has a surprise for us.

William Tabb vs. Butch Reed

Here’s the surprise. The shoulder block and a gutbuster get the pin in about a minute.

Tito Santana vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

Tito takes him down with the armdrags and into an armbar to start. Vince points out that Miguel Alonzo and Pedro Morales are doing Spanish commentary. Alonzo died about two days before this was written so his name is in my head somewhat. Dropkick puts Funk on the apron but he comes back with a shot to the ribs to take over. Funk stands on his throat then hits a neckbreaker for two. Tito suplexes out of the second attempt at one and pounds Funk down so that the figure four can end it.

Rating: C+. For a three and a half minute match, this was really pretty entertaining. We had a nice back and forth match here with Tito getting a win after he had to work for it a bit. That’s probably too high of a rating but given how little we get on this show that can be rated, it’s hard to not overrated it.

Boston stuff, this time with the Machines saying they’re not worried about Piper’s injury. Steele pops in and says Animal Rules vs. Savage. He means No DQ. The match wound up being like four minutes.

Some wrestlers try to get Piper medical attention but he goes psycho and won’t let them.

The announcers wrap it up and we’re done.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of the more entertaining shows that they’ve had in awhile. We got a big angle with Piper vs. Adonis which would be a very fun one indeed. Other than that the matches were ok with the debut of Reed and a decent main event. For Superstars, that’s a pretty good show.

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Great American Bash 1998
Date: June 14, 1998
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 12,810
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

By the law of common sense, this HAS to be better than Road Wild. The main event is Sting vs. Giant for control of the tag titles since Giant joined the Black and White. The rest of the card at least looks ok and far better than the abomination that was Road Wild. I just finished that show if it wasn’t that clear. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is shots of the big names and shots of patriotic things like flags and eagles.

Tony declares that the people in the tag match tonight are the four best in the world today: Hogan, Hart, Savage and Piper. I’ll let the jokes make themselves there.

Gene talks about the main event to fill in some time. Sting has joined the Wolfpack so they have to have the match for later tonight. They’re the WCW/NWO Tag Titles now too.

Now the announcers talk to waste time. The fans want Goldberg.

Here’s a clip from Thursday where Bret hit Booker with a chair to cost Booker a match in the Best of Seven series. Benoit didn’t want it that way so he gave the match away via DQ. That was the seventh match but Booker didn’t want the win that way. Instead they’ll have an eighth match tonight and the winner gets Finlay for the TV Title tonight. Yeah that’s what this whole thing is for.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

The winner gets the title match later tonight. The opening bell rings 9:40 into the show.
Benoit snaps off an armdrag to start and Booker retaliates with a hiptoss. Oh and there’s a chance Benoit might want to join the NWO but he’s never said yes. Benoit gets in a shot and Booker heads to the floor. He has a bad knee due to a previous match with Benoit. Down to the mat for a bit and things are continuing to be slow.

Booker hits a hard elbow to the face for two and slams him down, getting the first advantage. Benoit comes back with a dragon screw leg whip to work on the bad knee. Belly to back gets two. Benoit hooks a chinlock but Booker elbows out of it. That doesn’t last long as Benoit chops him right back down, followed by a snap suplex for two. A belly to back is countered into a cross body for two.

Benoit keeps control and it’s time for a chinlock again. Booker gets up again but Chris knees him in the ribs to take him right back down. A front suplex puts Booker on the top rope. Benoit hits a hard clothesline for a pair of twos and now he’s getting frustrated. Back to the chinlock again and then a surfboard submission. Booker fights out of that and hits a powerslam.

Booker goes up but takes too much time, resulting in his cross body hitting the mat. Crossface attempt fails as Booker makes the rope. Now back to the chinlock for the fourth time. Does he realize he’s Chris Benoit? Booker fights up, probably due to the amount of practice he’s had so far in this match, and hits an enziguri followed by a spinebuster for two. Pancake sets up the Spinarooni but the missile dropkick is countered by a crotching. Superplex puts both guys down but Benoit can’t cover.

Instead he goes with the rolling Germans but hits a dragon (full nelson) suplex for the final one which only gets two. The crowd reaction says they thought it was over. Swan Dive hits but again he can’t cover. A delayed cover gets two, but then Booker pops up, hits a pair of side kicks and the missile dropkick for the pin to win the series. REALLY anti-climactic ending.

Rating: C. The match was ok but man was it underwhelming. The knee wound up meaning nothing at all and the ending comes out of nowhere with almost no comeback by Booker. Benoit controlled about 90% of the match, but the chinlocks were distracting. When’s the last time you remember four rest holds out of Benoit? Decent match but this should have been a lot more.

Chavo says Eddie wants to fight him but Lee Marshall disagrees.

Kanyon vs. Saturn

Saturn is in the Flock still. A guy dressed in Kanyon’s old Mortis attire (it’s known that they’re the same person at this point) comes out of the entrance until Kanyon himself comes through the crowd and jumps Saturn to start. Ok not so much jump him but wait for Saturn to turn around and make the whole thing pointless. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for Kanyon. Kanyon puts him in an electric chair position but drops Saturn forward for two.

Here’s the Flock but Kanyon knocks all of them around with ease. Saturn is sent to the floor which winds up going nowhere. Kanyon sets for something but Lodi distracts him, allowing for Riggs, Kidman and Horace to triple team him. Not that it matters to Saturn who dives over the top onto all three of them. Nick Patrick ejects everyone other than Lodi I believe. Kanyon is sent into the barricade and Saturn is in control. Saturn hits a move that I’ve seen Kanyon use before, as he suplexes Kanyon back in from the apron while standing on the middle rope.

Back in Saturn hooks an ankle lock and then a hold that resembles Cattle Mutilation but has half of the normal grip for that and a half nelson at the same time. Cattle Mutilation looks a lot better. A springboard clothesline puts both guys on the floor with I think Kanyon taking the worse of it. Saturn brings in a chair, prompting this from Tony: “Is this Raven’s Rules? We haven’t heard anything about that.” To anyone watching along with me, press rewind for about seven minutes and twenty seconds, to the part where Tony says: “Saturn coming to the ring for this next match, which is under Raven’s Rules we understand.” Moving on.

The chair is used as a springboard to set up a dropkick in the corner ala Poetry in Motion. There’s Sabu’s Triple Jump Moonsault to fill the moves stolen from ECW quota of the night. In a cool counter, Saturn tries a slingshot shoulder block but Kanyon counters into a northern lights suplex for two. Saturn comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own. Time for a chinlock and the fans aren’t pleased. A belly to back gets two for Kanyon and a Stun Gun puts Saturn down but Kanyon can’t follow up.

They do a weird backslide move where Saturn is sat out and gets two out of it. Rings of Saturn is transitioned into a two count somehow. They’re trying some different stuff here and it’s really not working. Fireman’s carry into a pancake gets two as does a torture rack neckbreaker. Downward Spiral is countered into a half nelson suplex by Saturn, getting two. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver is countered but he KILLS Kanyon with a superkick. Saturn does seem like he knows what he wants to do.

They both go up and both get crotched and fall to the floor. The Mortis from earlier in the match comes in and make that two of them. The smaller one hits the taller one and this is getting goofy now. They fight to the floor as Saturn jumps into a Downward Spiral which gets the pin for Kanyon.

Rating: D+. This was a really strange match. They were trying to be different I think and while they accomplished that, it wasn’t exactly good stuff. A lot of it looked like they weren’t sure what they were doing and it came off as kind of sloppy. Also at 15 minutes, this was too long. Not an awful match, but they overthought it and that brought things way down.

The smaller Mortis is unmasked as Raven, who DDTs Kanyon on the floor. I’d assume the much taller one was Reese. Raven gets on the mic and yells at Saturn for losing and has the Flock beat him down. Saturn fights them off because most of them suck.

We recap Malenko vs. Jericho. Malenko won a title shot in disguise as Ciclope and then the title later on that night but Malenko had to surrender the title. Jericho didn’t get it back because we have to have a rematch with Malenko vs. Jericho tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko

Title is vacant coming in. Jericho is announced as being from Calgary here which is a new one for him. They double clothesline each other to start but both pop up with Jericho spin kicking him down. Malenko goes crazy and pounds on Chris in the corner. That’s a new one for him. Jericho comes back with a shoulder block and some shadow boxing with the referee. Liontamer is easily countered and Dean hits a suplex for two.

Off to a surfboard submission and Jericho screams like a girly man. Jericho gets out and is caught in the Tree of Woe but Dean’s baseball slide misses. Out to the floor and Jericho hits a pescado. He pounds away on Dean and both guys are looking fired up here. Suplex sets up the posing cover for two. Off to a sleeper by Chris but Dean counters into one of his own. Jericho counters that with a belly to back for two.

Lionsault misses and Dean hits a leg lariat into a cradle for two. Tony says we’re ten to fifteen minutes into the match but it’s more like eight. Knee to the head of Jericho gets two. Dean takes him to the corner and sets for the top rope gutbuster but Jericho counters into a fast rana to put both guys down. Jericho gets a very delayed two. Dean counters a powerbomb but Jericho rolls him into the Liontamer. Ok more like the Walls of Jericho but same idea. Dean gets the ropes and Jericho is furious. He threatens to hit the referee but the power of Billy Silverman stops that.

Jericho takes him to the corner and counters a headscissors atttempt into an Alabama Slam. Dean counters a Liontamer attempt into the Texas Cloverleaf for a BIG pop. Jericho makes the rope to make the crowd get sad again. The butterfly suplex into the backbreaker puts Dean back down and Jericho slaps him. He shouts that Dean is nothing like Dean’s dead father and Malenko snaps. They go to the floor and Dean hits Jericho with a chair for the DQ to give Jericho the title (which wasn’t announced until tomorrow night because WCW likes to screw its paying customers).

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent match which picked up a lot near the end. Dean would never get a singles title in WCW again while Jericho would go on to be wasted in the midcard until he jumped to the WWF a little over a year later. Pretty good match but it was based on emotion and the title changing hands on a DQ was stupid.

They brawl to the parking lot and get near the traffic where Jericho has to avoid being hit by a car. He runs into a building across the street as we try to figure out who the champion is.

Eddie says Grandma Guerrero doesn’t want them to fight and starts crying about it.

The announcers think Jericho should be champion but we’ll get a ruling tomorrow I guess.

Video on Juventud Guerrera who never gives up. It’s him walking around set to very slow Latin music.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Reese

Reese is 7’2. That would be the extent of his list of talents. He also played Yeti at Halloween Havoc 1995. The idea here is that Juvy needs to prove himself again after losing his mask. The announcers are STILL talking about Jericho. No contact for the first minute as the Jericho chatting continues. WE GET IT ALREADY. Reese throws him around but Jericho keeps charging. Reese goes to the floor and Juvy dives at him, getting caught and rammed into the post.

Juvy says bring it on even more and crotches him on the top rope coming in. He fires off kicks at Reese’s knees and jumps up into a choke off the top. Reese shrugs all that off and bends Juvy over his knee in a backbreaker. He spends a few minutes destroying Juvy and throws on a bearhug. Juvy finally hits a low blow to slow Reese down but Reese drops to his knees so he can punch Juvy in the face. Reese suplexes him down but Juvy is up at 9. Reese goes to get a chair but the referee pulls it away. Van Hammer, former Flock member, comes out and hits him with it so Juvy can hit an AWFUL rana for the pin. Shoulder was up too.

Rating: F. What in the world was the point of this? Juvy is supposed to be some new man that never quits. Yeah that’s true, but he’s also a man that was getting killed until Van Hammer came in to save him. This match was REALLY boring and could have been accomplished in about four minutes instead of the nine that it got.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is a little psycho here. Heenan: “You know I asked Grandma Guerrero what she thought of this match.” Tony: “What did she say?” Heenan: “I don’t know, I don’t speak Spanish.” The idea here is that since Chavo is nuts, Eddie is afraid of him and doesn’t want to fight him. Chavo slaps him in the face and Eddie is fired up now. Eddie chops away and Chavo does the same.

They go to the mat and Eddie pounds away as this becomes a brawl. Chavo misses a splash in the corner and Eddie does the spinning face grind with his boot. Now Chavo launches Eddie over him and onto the corner. Leave it to WCW to make sure that two of the best wrestlers in the company have a brawl instead of a wrestling match. Chavo goes to the floor and Eddie kicks the rope into his crotch on the way back in.

They exchange control over the arm and Chavo goes to the top. He flips forward but Eddie moves out of the way. Chavo lands on his feet and runs to the other corner to hit a moonsault press for two. SWEET. Eddie sends him to the floor and into the steps. Back inside a brainbuster puts Chavo down and Eddie slaps him. That wakes Chavo up again and he snaps, resulting in him going off and it’s time for a chase scene. Back in Eddie rams into Chavo’s knee to take him down and it’s figure four time.

For some reason Chavo doesn’t reach two feet to his left and grab the rope. Well to be fair he’s crazy. The hold finally is broken up by Eddie and it’s back to the knee. Now the Gory Stretch which is appropriate here. Chavo escapes again but the knee gives out and Eddie hits a regular dropkick to take over again. Now off to a camel clutch for some reason. Oh for the love of…..YOU’RE GUERREROS!!! FREAKING JUMP OFF SOMETHING ALREADY!!!

Now an over the shoulder backbreaker. Are you kidding me? He spins that into something like an Eye of the Storm and we get a LOUD We Want Flair chant. Chavo takes over again and does the Eddie chest slap thing. He loads up a Frog Splash but Eddie crotches him. Eddie’s Frog Splash misses and both guys are down. Tornado DDT is countered by sending Chavo to the floor, but he comes back in with a springboard tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. Allow me to reiterate: YOU’RE GUERREROS. This was ridiculous as the whole thing was dull, much like the rest of the show has been. There’s just too going on tonight that is pure boring. At the end of the day, there are way too many talented guys out there being boring. Gee, I wonder if that’s a coincidence: the talented guys get time and they all keep it in slow. I think I smell a Bischoff.

We recap the making of the tag match later. Roddy said no one knows Savage so Savage got in his face. Piper says he’s not selling anything and they had a brawl. They’re teaming against Hogan and Hart later. How does that set it up? Who knows?

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Booker T

Remember what I said about talented people having boring matches? I haven’t seen this match perhaps ever, or at least in almost fourteen years. How much do you want to bet that this match is slow and boring? Booker has already had a sixteen minute match tonight so he’s tired coming in. Feeling out process to start and since no one cares about this match, the announcers talk about the tag title singles match later.

Booker sends him to the floor and hits a dive over the top to take Finlay down. Back in Finlay hits something like a spinebuster and off to some leg locks. Now a half crab. The leg work goes on for a few more minutes and MY GOODNESS DO SOMETHING INTERESTING!!! I’ll bet that the main event matches are all energetic and “fun” and I’d bet even more that the other guys were asked to be slow and boring, because they might show someone else up otherwise. I need something to rant about during this match because there’s only so much you can say about Finlay laying on Booker’s leg.

Mr. T. makes a brief comeback but takes a knee crusher to put him right back down. Out to the floor and Finlay wants to use a chair which isn’t allowed. Instead the leg goes into the post again. Back in Finlay Vader Bombs the knee and stomps on it some more until Booker decides to pop up and spin kick Finlay down. The fans think this is boring and I can’t argue at all. Powerslam sets up the ax kick as the knee is perfectly fine. Finlay puts him down but the Tombstone is countered. The champ misses a charge and a piledriver gvies Booker the title.

Rating: D. Technically this was fine as the whole thing was about the knee work, but then they just finished the match, which is something Booker would never do. This show is ridiculous with the boring matches and now it’s time for the “draws” to come into play. This can’t end well at all.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Konnan

Konnan is Wolfpack and has Hennig and Rude with him. Goldie is 99-0 at this point, meaning he’ll be 104-0 by tomorrow night and 110-0 by the Nitro after that. The cheering is so canned here it’s unreal. Konnan gets knocked to the floor in about a second and this isn’t going to go anywhere. A bad leglock puts K-Dawg down again, double leg takedown is called a spear, Jackhammer ends this. Total squash.

Hennig and Rude beat on Konnan post match and reveal Black and White shirts. Luger and Nash make the save.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper/Randy Savage

How is this the third PPV I’ve done between here and February of 1999 and this is Bret’s first appearance? Hogan is world champion because it’s WCW. Why are these four fighting? Who knows? The only thing we got from WCW was Piper and Savage fighting, which doesn’t explain a thing. Stalling before we get going until it’s Piper vs. Hogan getting things going. After more stalling, Piper goes into Three Stooges mode and brings in Savage.

Tony praises Savage/Piper for their ability to make tags. Yeah that’s what they’ve reached. No ability to talk about Jericho now is there? Piper atomic drops Hogan back into their corner and the beating continues. Disciple hits Piper in the back with the belt to shift the momentum for the first time and it’s off to Hart. Bret and Hogan take turns punching Piper as you can tell that even these four aren’t interested at all.

Bret does his usual stuff and whips Piper in, resulting in Piper going into slow motion for a small package. Pipes tags Savage but it doesn’t count for some reason. That worked so well that they do the same thing again. Things break down a bit and Savage tries to bring in a chair, but instead of hitting Bret with it, he puts it over Piper’s stomach to prevent a headbutt from Bret. Savage gets the tag and the fans don’t move at all. Everything breaks down and Savage goes up but his knee gives out on an elbow attempt. Hogan wraps it around the post and Savage gives up to the Sharpshooter.

Rating: F. There’s no excuse for these four to be wrestling in one of the featured matches on PPV when you have this roster in the year 1998. None. These four are the “draws” right? Then why do you keep them on top while the company’s massive lead has died and WWF is in the lead? That would mean putting someone other than Hogan on top, and we just can’t have that right?

Gene comes in for a post match interview with the losers and a match breaks out.

Roddy Piper vs. Randy Savage

This was scheduled due to the loss apparently. Savage jumps him to start and this is as bad as you would expect it to be. Now he can hit the elbow but the knee is too hurt to cover him. Instead he punches the referee and Piper puts him in a figure four. A second referee runs in and Savage gives up AGAIN. This was like 90 seconds.

Someone smarter than I am, tell me what those two matches solved. What were they even fighting over? Why am I trying to figure WCW out anymore?

Tag Titles: Sting vs. The Giant

Winner gets both belts. Why are they fighting? Again, not explained. Giant is smoking on his way to the ring. Yeah that was their attempt to make him EXTREME. If Giant wins, he’s picking Disciple as his partner to be champions. I would say even WCW wasn’t that stupid, but I would be very wrong. Giant blows smoke in his face so Sting fights back and puts him on the top rope on his back for a splash. The second attempt eats boot and Sting is tossed to the floor.

Back in Sting runs the ropes and hits a cross body but Giant just stands there. Elbow drop hits Sting and YET AGAIN they walk around as slowly as possible. This is the main event too, so why in the world are they doing this here? Bear hug to Sting to further keep things boring. Sting dropkicks the knee out and hits two Stinger Splashes. There’s an easy slam but the Scorpion is easily broken up. Death Drop gets two. Death Drop gets two. Death Drop from the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was the main event. It lasted seven minutes and was awful. Was this really the best they could come up with? Somehow, I think it was and that’s why you don’t see WCW around anymore: we don’t get the announcement of who Sting’s partner is as it was made the next night on Nitro. In other words, there was no need to pay for this show at all.

Overall Rating: F+. And yet somehow, it was still better than Road Wild. The problem here was that nothing was interesting at all. Everything was VERY slow paced and boring with nothing at all being even remotely good. With the card they have, this could have been a decent show, but instead they made sure it was in slow motion and that the two decisions that came out of the show weren’t revealed until Nitro, making this show show TOTALLY POINTLESS. Thank goodness I only have twelve of these things left. I can’t take any more than that.

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Wrestlemania 6
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

If you remember what I said in the last review about WM 5 being the first standard WM, this one is the first standard blockbuster Wrestlemania. This Mania has the truly huge show atmosphere to it and there are two main reasons for it. Number one is the crowd is massive. At over 67,000 people, this would be the second biggest crowd for a Wrestlemania for the next 11 years.

Second, you had the second biggest Wrestlemania Main event of all time which was title for title. Absolutely no one knew who to pick in this match. That to me is what makes a match at least a notch higher up. Also the actual look of the show changed. If you watch 4 and 5, you see the older look to it.

I’m not sure how to put it into words but if you watch either of them and then 6 one after another you’ll see what I mean. 6 simply looks much newer. I know that it’s a year later, but the jump is a huge difference. The card is long and while there’s some filler, it’s good filler. I’m a sucker for this show but I’ll try to be objective.

To begin with, one of the most memorable things about this show is the opening. It shows the night sky and talks about the constellations in it. Eventually we get to constellations of Hogan and Warrior. Vince’s booming voice over this scene makes the show and the match just seem epic.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

Ok so not every match can be great. The newest WWE HOF member still makes me shake my head. Martel is a better choice than he is but that’s a topic for another thread. This is the WM debut of Martel’s Model gimmick. For this show the ring carts from WM 3 are back. For those that haven’t seen them, they’re small motorized carts that the wrestlers ride to the ring in. Kind of a cool idea.

I assume they’re used to prevent people from having to make the very long walk to the ring. You can tell how great Koko is. Gorilla’s line talking about how good he is: “He’s proven he can take anybody to the limit.” Read as, he can’t beat anyone. Koko only stands 5’8. Never knew how short he was. Martel is only 6’0 but it looks pretty funny to see the tiny face like that.

They actually thought this was the best possible opening match for Wrestle-freaking-Mania? Really? Frankie was always kind of cool. Martel jumps him to start and Koko is in trouble early on. Koko had a decent dropkick and that’s about it. Yet he’s in the Hall of Fame and Randy Savage isn’t. Amazing.

Martel sends him to the floor and Koko is in trouble. Ha I said that just as Gorilla did. The crowd starts a small boring chant and I can’t say I blame them. Boston Crab is blocked early. In the clipped version the first Boston Crab attempt is shown going on as Martel turns him towards the ropes and he winds up in the middle of the ring with it. Odd indeed.

Koko hits a pair of flying headbutts that just look awful. On the third one in one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen, he fakes the headbutt and after a second, Martel falls anyway. I could get that he was bracing himself and fell or something, but Koko gets a long two out of it. WOW. Missed cross body leads to the Boston Crab for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a squash and a bad one. Koko truly is bad in the ring. He’s bland and for whatever reason was popular. Bad way to start a show. Koko was one of those guys in the 80s that wasn’t any good but was pushed on occasion as a midcard threat anyway and more or less was a jobber to the stars. Weak opening match.

Andre and Haku, the Colossal Connection, are called the Colostomy Connection by Gene. Heenan says if you want to talk about evacuation…Wow again. They say they’re going to eliminate Demolition. Gene, as they leave: “The Colossal Connection, they’re anything but regular guys.” My goodness.

Demolition wants to destroy and demolish the Connection and take the belts back.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. The Colossal Connection

This is Demolition’s rematch from when the Connection beat them in I believe December. It was also their chance to become three time tag champions. The crowd chants Weasel at Heenan which sounds great in this huge arena. This match is absolutely nothing but power all around. In something that I never realized before and someone correct me if I’m wrong but this was Andre’s last televised WWF match.

Andre jumps them to start and the challengers are in trouble early. Apparently the Harts want a shot at the winners. Smash and Haku officially start us off. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing the Islander a lot. Those big screens in the back are rather cool.

Andre only pops in every once in awhile to throw punches and choke. The perk of him being so freaking huge is that a simple move like one of those is enough to take a guy down and have it look very realistic.

This whole thing is pretty much just ok at best. Haku vs. Demolition isn’t a match I particularly care to see but it’s all they could do. I would kind of question putting the titles on the Connection simply to give Andre a title run in his career but it’s better than ignoring him I suppose. Axe gets beaten down for the majority of the match.

Haku wrestles almost all of the match here as Andre was in bad shape at this point. Haku accidentally superkicks Andre into the ropes and Demolition lands their finisher to pick up the titles. Post match, Heenan goes nuts on Andre in the corner, at one point clearly saying he’s the boss. Then in something that boggles even my smark mind, Bobby slaps him. The look on Andre’s face is nothing short of great.

He grabs Bobby by the throat and slaps him a few times and punches him. He catches Haku’s thrust kick and beats the heck out of him too. Heenan and Haku get thrown off the cart as Andre leaves on his own to the crowd losing their minds. The sad part though is how hunched over Andre is. Truly a sad sight.

Rating: C-. This was a fun little match that wasn’t entirely predictable. The post match stuff is even better than the match. Ticked off giants are just plain fun. It’s more or less just a way to give the fans something to cheer for which works fine I guess. Nothing special at all but fun.

In the back we see Earthquake and Jimmy Hart who says that there’s going to be an earthquake and Earthquake says Hercules will crumble.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Do I have to watch this? Seriously, what are you expecting here? Quake is undefeated here and is putting people in the hospital left and right. He tries to jump Hercules to start and Herc pounds away with punches.

We get a test of strength and being a heel, Earthquake cheats after getting in trouble. He pounds away with fat man moves before Herc gets a shot in. After a bunch of big power shots he can’t take Earthquake off his feet.

And then like an IDIOT, Hercules tries for the backbreaker (torture rack) and gets drilled. You freaking deserve that for being stupid. A few shots put him down and the Earthquake Splash ends it. He deserves pain like that too.

Rating: D-. I liked Hercules, but this was just bad. It wasn’t quite a squash but it might as well have been. He beats Hercules up more afterwards and he deserves it for being stupid enough to try the Rack like that. Earthquake would be top heel by August.

Some old lady named Rona Barrett talks to Liz who is going to be more active in wrestling.

Brutus Beefcake is going to end Mr. Perfect’s “perfect” record. He shows off how sharp his scissors are by snipping at the paper the record is on and the paper doesn’t cut. Amazing indeed.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect.

Perfect beat the tar out of Beefcake at the Rumble so this is little more than a grudge match. Can’t beat that. That Brutus music is downright awesome. Gorilla STEALS Jesse’s line about Brutus looking like a hand grenade went off in his pocket. Wouldn’t that result in a bad leg injury?

They start off hard and fast again which is a tradition so far tonight. Brutus dominates to start, sending Perfect flying. He might still be undefeated here but I’m not sure. Things slow down a lot as we talk about conditioning.

Gorilla isn’t sure what the weak spot is on Hennig. I’d recommend hitting him in the face. Brutus goes for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore is here. This Mania is officially awesome. Genius slips the scroll to Perfect which gets two. I love that neck snap Perfect does. Beefcake makes his comeback and hits a slingshot into the post for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: C. Compared to what’s come before it, this match is Steamboat and Savage. Brutus, for all his faults, wasn’t that bad in the ring. Having a guy with him like Hennig helped a lot, and this might be Brutus’ biggest win ever. The postmatch beatdown is very old school pink on pink action fun as well.

Post match the Genius gets a haircut for his troubles.

To say this match is interesting would be an understatement. We see a video recapping the buildup. This match came about because Piper eliminated Bad News from the Rumble and Bad News came back in and eliminated him. They fought to the back. For those that don’t know, Brown was legit. He is the only American heavyweight to win a medal in Olympic Judo, and also made Andre the Giant back down in a real fight in Japan after Andre made a racist joke. Anyway, 3 weeks after the Rumble, Bad News made a joke about Piper’s kilt which is just too far.

In a promo that would never be allowed to air today, Piper is in the back and says he’s the Hot Rod, but at other times he’s the Hot Scot. At that point, he turns around and you see that half of his body is painted back right down the middle. After a brief karaoke of Billy Jean, Piper insults Brown’s looks in a funny promo and says he’s going to shut Bad News’ big mouth, but Brown doesn’t know if it’ll be Hot Rod or Hot Scot that does it.

I’m still not sure what the point of the whole painting thing was.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

I think this is no DQ but I’m not sure. This isn’t so much a match as it is a fight. Very few wrestling moves and mainly punches and kicks but it was designed to be that way. The fighting is fun because it’s what these two are best at. Surprisingly Piper is ripped here in by far the best shape he’s ever been in.

Allegedly that paint took weeks to get off due to a rib from Andre and someone else. Not sure how true that is. Yeah there’s no wrestling at all here. Sometimes that’s a great thing though and here that’s exactly what this should be like.

The way Brown beats up Roddy and then Roddy just casually pokes him in the eye is great. Brown gets sent into exposed steel and is down. Piper pulls out a white glove as we continue the Michael Jackson theme night which I suppose is what the black and white thing is about. Match ends in a double count out and it means nothing. They continue brawling all the way up the ramp and into the back.

Rating: A. This match was nonstop fighting and was insanely fun. There was next to no wrestling in it but that that’s what made it great. I loved this match the first time I saw it and it’s still great. And yes that’s highly biased.

Steve Allen, the former Tonight Show host, is in a bathroom with a piano with the Bolsheviks practicing the Russian National Anthem. He makes a few jokes but finally says he’ll do the real Russian Anthem. He opens his mouth and a toilet flushes. Steve runs to save his own life.

Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks

The Harts want Demolition. This match literally lasts 19 seconds. Harts knock the Bolsheviks down during their singing, land the Hart Attack and it’s over.

Rating: N/A. What can I say about 19 seconds? Funny if nothing else. The pop for Hart is coming too. It’s not there yet but you can see the star in him. Granted that might be the Canada thing

Wrestlemania 7 is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and there will be over 100,000 fans there!

Edit from the future: no there won’t be. Ticket sales bombed and they moved it to the Sports Arena in the same town which held about 16,000 people.

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Tito does a promo that I literally couldn’t pay attention to. This match screamed HOUSE SHOW to me. It’s two guys in a ring doing moves on each other. There’s little psychology and less meaning to most of it. It’s not bad wrestling, but there’s no spark to it at all. Santana is a great worker, but this match just did nothing for me.

Yeah this isn’t much at all. Santana does a bit, Barbarian hits the floor to hide a bit with Heenan, Jesse makes enchilada jokes, Barbarian comes back in, and we let the destruction begins. It’s not bad but at the same time this isn’t much at all. It’s not boring, but I wonder why this is on Wrestlemania. Barbarian wins with a clothesline off the top that was sweet looking.

Rating: D. Like I said, it’s not bad at all, but it just did nothing for me. I don’t get the need for this being on here though as Tito was destroyed both here and at Summerslam by the Powers of Pain. I guess I get the idea of having them get good matches (in theory) but really? This needed to be on Mania?

Next up is a recap of the upcoming mixed tag which I believe was a first at the time. Sapphire, as worthless of a person as there ever has been in wrestling, is shown beating up Sherri which just infuriates me, and Macho King feuding with the Common Man Dusty Rhodes. Fairly cool concept for a feud really, even though Dusty boarders on Communism in his promo. He also talks about having the Crown Jewel but no one knows what they mean.

Macho King and Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire

The King having people carry him to the ring on the throne was always just insanely cool to me for some reason. The fun part of this for some reason was figuring out the women’s weight based on the male’s weights. Sherri at about 130-140 and Sapphire at 180-190, which Jesse says is impossible and I think I agree with him. The more Dusty promos I hear the more I like him. His mic work is great.

Dusty says that they have something Macho doesn’t have, which is the Crown Jewel. The Crown Jewel is none other than Elizabeth. For the first time in way too long, Savage absolutely loses it. The crowd pops louder than they’ve done all night as she goes to Dusty and Sapphire’s corner.

Liz is definitely good looking in blue. The genders have to match up here so that’s good. Sapphire is just horrible. One of her attacks is a hip into the other chick’s hips. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but GET BACK TO DUSTY!

Dusty does what he can here and it’s just not working for the most part. A lot of this is the girls doing what they can which isn’t much for the most part as they’re just not very good. Well Sherri is but she can’t work miracles. Savage destroys Dusty until the required big comeback makes the save.

This match is all over the place the entire match and it’s incredibly fun. Rhodes is at his best when he can just go crazy in a match and that’s what this is. Dusty is in the ring the entire time almost which is the best thing possible. Dusty is just on fire the whole time and Savage is his usual great self. Sapphire finally gets in the ring and proves my theory: she is awful. Sadly enough, she pins Sherri in a dark day for wrestling. Liz actually dances with Dusty and Sapphire to Common Man after the match.

Rating: D-. Sapphire literally drops this about a full letter grade. She was flat out awful and there is no reason she should have pinned Sherri at all. Dusty and Savage carry this to a decent grade though. It’s a sad day that Dusty Rhodes is the workhorse of his team but that was the case here.

Hey, did you know WM 7 will be in Los Angeles? Don’t know if the promo that aired earlier would get the message across or not.

Heenan is upset. Okerlund is all over the place tonight as he says, “Bobby Heenan where do you have the ba…guts to insult Andre the Giant?” You can clearly see Bobby almost lose it after that. He declares war on Andre and says he’ll be getting a new Heenan Family together.

That old woman from earlier is with Gorilla and Jesse in the back and yet again, I couldn’t care less. Allegedly there’s a clip of Jesse in an adult movie out there somewhere. Never heard anything about that and I don’t think it’s true.

Macho Man cuts a promo that makes literally no sense. I think it’s about Dusty Rhodes.

Demolition is glad to have won the titles in the fifth promo in a row. They say the Harts can bring it on.

In promo #6, Hogan cuts one of his most famous promos ever, telling Warrior that the power lies in the palm of his hand. He also says that he can save all of the Little Warriors with the training, the prayers and the vitamins. Hogan goes on to say that his Hulkamaniacs want to help them. Rewatching this, it’s clear that Hogan would lose. He mentions that the winner or the loser doesn’t matter, but what kind of winner or loser you are.

At the end of the show, he hands the belt to Warrior and holds up his hand, being a “good loser.” Wow it’s fun to see these in a different light. Also starting to wonder if “take your vitamins” is a tongue in cheek reference to taking steroids, but that might be a stretch.

Guess what’s next? Go on, guess. If you said Promo #7, I’ll get you a ham sandwich. In an equally famous promo, Warrior says that Hogan’s life can be lived through the Warrior, but it will be in the darkness. Everything is about accepting challenges, but Hogan has never met a challenge like him. He’s going to bring the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together as one.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

See, this is what I loved about the 80s and early 90s: the tag division was AWESOME. There were at least 8 distinctly gimmicked teams fighting all over the place. There were jobber teams, midcard teams and main event tag teams. These teams almost always had great matches together. They had a great one at the 91 Rumble so hopefully this holds up.

Tanaka vs. Jannetty opens us up. Surprisingly enough this is pretty fast paced to start. Fuji interferes with the cane to set up Marty as the Ricky Morton for this match. And never mind as Shawn is already back in. Tanaka takes him down with a cross body for no cover.

The fans are into this which is always a good sign. It’s actually Shawn as the face in peril here which is the custom of the Rockers. It’s weird to see the Rockers getting outworked. Marty comes in to more or less no pop which is odd.

The double teaming by the good guys begins and Tanaka takes a big old flipping flip off a double back drop. Fuji trips Janetty and salt goes into his eyes as he falls into the crowd. Are we sure he’s not just drunk? He gets counted out to let evil win the day.

Rating: C. Semi-filler, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. This is definitely the weakest of their feud which is saying a lot as this was sitll fine. Not a bad match but not great really. The ending more or less sucked but that isn’t incredibly bad. It set up a future match I guess but I wasn’t big on it.

Steve Allen is with Rhythm and Blues. Allen says he hasn’t been so excited since he heard Pee Wee Herman was straight. Good grief this show was pushing things for 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan waves the American flag in Canada. Well no one ever said he was intelligent. Jesse is impressed by the crowd as he should be. It’s huge. This is your standard power brawl and with Duggan in there, it’s likely not going to be that great. Surprising no one, it’s pretty dull.

The crowd is into it though so that’s good. Here’s some punching. And some kicking. Plus some more punching. Ooo it’s a back breaker. Yeah it’s one of those matches. Never been a fan of these matches but they’re trying…..ok not really but it sounds good.

Earthquake and Hart interfere of course. We get an argument about manager’s licenses and all that jazz which goes nowhere. Eventually the referee yells at him leading to a 2×4 to Bravo’s back and a pin. Post match Quake beats the heck out of Duggan.

Rating: D+. It was bad but they kept it short which was very smart. These two were thrown out there on a ton of Superstars shows which went nowhere. This was too short and it never went anywhere at all which doesn’t surprise me at all. Weak match and filler. It’s just not a good sign when there’s nothing to bring the crowd down from. You can tell they’re here for one match only.

Video package showing Jake Roberts stealing DiBiase’s Million Dollar Belt which happened over the course of about a year for some reason. Jake is in the back and cuts what might be one of the best promos I’ve ever seen. He starts by saying this is the biggest match in DiBiase’s career. At that moment I thought this was going to suck because 2 years ago he was main eventing WM for the World Title.

But then Jake started talking about DiBiase’s values and his life, and something impressive happened: I believed him. That my friends, is why Jake Roberts is considered great. He was able to make you believe something that wasn’t true. That is what psychology in wrestling is. He did something that made you believe in what he was trying to sell to you. Greatness indeed.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

If there are two better 80s performers that never got a real chance in the main event, I’d like to see them. Jake dominates at first and goes to town on DiBiase’s arm but as DiBiase pretends to bail, Jake gets caught by him. I hope this is a Canadian tradition and not a sign of boredom but the Wave begins in the SkyDome which really is an impressive sight in a crowd that big. I kind of see it as disrespectful though.

A wide shot shows that the ring is on a pedestal/platform kind of thing which really is cool. Jake immediately goes for the DDT but can’t get anywhere with it. This is your standard match between these guys with a LONG chinlock. These two fought time and time again, usually for the Million Dollar Belt, and it never went anywhere.

Jake makes his usual comeback and then gets taken down again. And there’s the chinlock again. Was Ted afraid to do much other than something like that? Apparently it’s to get through the Wave. Well that makes sense. Jake makes his comeback and still I will say that no one bumps as well as DiBiase does for his size. They go outside and DiBiase locks in the Dream again but goes into the post.

Virgil him back in before the 10 though and DiBiase gets the win. Post match Jake comes back and beats both men up, sending money flying everywhere. Virgil gets away with the money but Jake gets a picture perfect DDT on DiBiase and the fans explode. You can see the head slam off the mat and it looks great. Jake then hands out the real $100 bills that DiBiase dropped, including one to Hollywood legend Mary Tyler Moore.

Rating: C. Well they tried but the whole Wave = chinlock thing messed up a lot of their stuff. They tried as hard as they could but the crowd was against them here. This was a huge feud and DIBiase gets the title back via countout but whatever. The number of matches is hurting the show again.

In the back, we hear Slick talk about why Bossman turned face, which was because he wouldn’t be paid off by DiBiase to do his bidding, saying that he was a fair law enforcer. That split up the team of Bossman and Akeem so we get this match. Bossman, which is really a great gimmick, another great feature of the 80s, says that he’s proud to be an American. Great way to be a face buddy.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Bossman’s eyes are sweet looking on the way to the ring. Before the match, DiBiase, the guy that tried to buy off Bossman in the fall, comes from under the ring and beats up Bossman so Akeem dominates to begin with. Bossman lands a great boot to the face though to break the momentum.

He’s down and trying to get his breath but then just snaps up like absolutely nothing is wrong with him. It looked REALLY bad. He goes off on Akeem and a few seconds later an amazing Bossman Slam considering Akeem’s size gets the pin. Post match, Bossman punches Slick.

Rating:N/A. Just another quickie and it gets nowhere at all.

Sean Mooney is in the crowd and asks if people are looking forward the Rhythm And Blues singing. Mary Tyler Moore is apparently a wrestling fan and I now love her even more than I did before.

Now we get the famous scene from this show: the Pink Cadillac carrying Rhythm And Blues. The reason this is famous? The owner and driver of the car is none other than future two time, two time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Diamond Dallas Page. He was just about to debut in WCW at the time. He actually might have already but if he had he had been there all of a month.

They perform their new song, Hunka Hunka Hunka Honkey Love (Word wants to murder me for that) and it’s bad. You can see Jimmy Hart is the only one that has a clue what he’s doing which makes sense.

For those of you that don’t know, Jimmy Hart was the main person responsible for all of the mind blowing songs used in the WWF in the 80s and early 90s. Back in the 60s he was lead singer for a band called the Gentrys that had a big hit called Keep On Dancing. They went on tour with the Beach Boys so apparently they had something going for them. Hart brought that legit talent to wrestling music and it worked really well.

For God knows what reason, the Bushwackers appear selling programs at ringside. Realizing that these are the worst disguises of all time, they pull them off and run off Rhythm and Blues before destroying their guitars. Kind of funny, more stupid though. The funniest part of this is Jesse referencing a CD and Gorilla doesn’t sound that sure as to what it is.

Yet again, WM 7 in Los Angeles. The sad thing is I remember the real commercials that had the ticket number in it that’s been edited out since. I could literally quote the ticket number in this if I wanted to. That’s kind of sad.

New SkyDome attendance record of 67,678 people. These announcements are always kind of cool to me. However, the fans seem completely uncaring about this.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

This match is pure filler before the main event. Steve Allen is on commentary here. Standard match here for these two. Back and forth which makes it a decent match. Snuka doing the hip swivel is funny if nothing else. Rude wins with a Rude Awakening. Steve Allen has some very funny lines in this and it boosted the match a lot. For those that may have forgotten, Allen was kind of like the Jay Leno of his time, just not quite as famous but very close to it.

Rating: C-. Funny and that’s it. No one cares as it’s time for Hogan vs. Warrior.

And now it’s time for the main event. First up of course is a recap though. It stated with the two of them saying nice things about each other in their promos and then they wound up being alone together in the Rumble. They do a nicely choreographed routine ending in a double clothesline, but DANG was it exciting to see it at the time. This would be like Hogan and Austin today.

A week later they were in a tag match with Mr. Perfect and his manager/partner the Genius. Hogan and Warrior win but afterwards the brawl continues. Hogan gets nailed by mistake with a Warrior clothesline. A month later Warrior is in trouble against Earthquake and Hogan makes the save after the match for Mania had been announced. Two weeks after that, same scenario, just switch Hogan and Warrior.

In other words, Earthquake was a very scary man. Hogan tries to get up and Warrior runs back and forth. Hogan has his back to him and Warrior raises his arm for a clothesline but stops dead. Then Hogan turns and puts his fists up. Warrior hits the ropes again, hops to the floor and runs away. Seriously, this guy was messed up at times.

Intercontinental Title/WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior

This was dubbed The Ultimate Challenge and both belts were on the line. Warrior’s music hits and I don’t ever recall a crowd going from dead to insane so quickly, at least not until Austin and the glass shattering began. Everything about this match is absolutely epic. Even the entrances just feel big if that makes sense. This is what Wrestlemania was supposed to end with and it works perfectly here.

Absolutely great job in building this up as face vs. face was very risky and still is hard to do today. Hogan’s ovation is clearly louder, but not by much. In one of the coolest scenes ever, Hogan’s music plays and as we pan from the crowd to the entry way, Warrior is seen standing on the middle rope doing his press slam motion. I marked out beyond belief just for the entrances.

It’s hard to do, but they awakened the inner young fan in me, the Hulkamaniac that lurks inside my soul. One thing I’ve always wondered: when Warrior comes to the ring, he clearly has his symbol painted on his chest, yet 5 minutes into the match it’s gone without a trace. That’s too fast to have been knocked off and wouldn’t there be traces if it was sweated off?

Crowd is white hot for this. Both guys shove each other away. And now for the iconic moment of the match: the test of strength. Warrior puts Hogan down but Hogan comes back and puts Warrior down. Hogan gets a slam and Warrior pops up. Warrior gets a slam and Hogan doesn’t pop up.

Hogan goes to the floor and holds his knee. This will NEVER be mentioned again after it gets better. The key thing here though: it lets Hogan be able to say that Warrior didn’t beat him at his best. The referee keeps trying to protect Hogan and Warrior is like screw you short man.

Naturally Hogan is fine now so the knee thing is completely forgotten, never to be mentioned again. Hogan gets the worst chinlock ever to take over for awhile. He puts Warrior down and waits awhile before covering after a clothesline. Ok then.

Back to the chinlock now as this is going more or less nowhere at all. A belly to back suplex fills in the wrestling quota for tonight. He gets his fourth chinlock to fill in time. Double clothesline and both go down after Hogan has taken next to no punishment this whole time.

Warrior does an Undertaker sit up before Taker was around. Warrior Warriors Up and the bald man is in trouble. Bear hug goes on Hogan. There are FAR more rest holds in this than I remember. This one goes on for like two and a half minutes.

And down goes the referee. Hogan gets what would be a three count. Warrior gets what would be a three count. Warrior hammers away and manages to get the press slam and the splash for two as the fans are in shock.

He Hulks Up as Warrior pounds away on him. Three punches and a big boot set up the leg drop. The leg drop amazingly misses and Warrior hits a big splash and wins the title in one of the biggest shockers of all time.

Rating: A+. This match lived up to the amazing hype that it got and showed that Hogan could work a long match that wasn’t in his normal formula. It also showed that Warrior did indeed have the capabilities to wrestle well if given the right opponent, which he had also done with Rude. While I think Hogan should have kept the title, that doesn’t mean that it was a bad match, because it was great.

The finish made sense and didn’t make Hogan look weak but made Warrior look strong. That’s hard to do. I don’t know what I can say about this match that hasn’t already been said. For both men, it’s likely the match of their lives. They have nearly 68,000 people in the palms of their hands for nearly 23 minutes and it never lets up once. Everything is a small war and the crowd knows it. Every little thing in this match is done well and that makes it a classic.

Both men do their signature no pain things, and you literally didn’t know who was going to win. When Hogan hulked up, I truly believed for a split second he was going to win. That’s great work. The finish to this epic struggle came when Hogan missed the leg drop and Warrior splashed him for the pin, and wrestling changed forever. Jesse’s shout of THE WARRIOR’S WON THE TITLE is absolutely perfect.

After Hogan hands him the belt and steals a bit of the spotlight, the arena goes a bit darker and pyro goes off all over the place. The big screens show Warrior shaking the ropes with the belt in hand and it’s just amazing to look at. A great ending to a great match and show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really hard decision for me because based on the main event, the Brown/Piper match and a few others, this show is really great to watch. However, there’s some flaws that keep it from being perfect. For one thing and I didn’t really touch on this, the time it took to get to the ring was just way too long. I know there’s not much they could do about that, but it really slowed things down at times.

Also, there were too many short matches. The card doesn’t need to have everyone on the card. Take the opener for example. That was a waste of nearly 10 minutes counting introductions. Finally, WAY too many backstage promos. We don’t need an interview before every match. It’s just overkill at that point. However, those are simply keeping a great show from being legendary.

This show had the real Wrestlemania feel to it and it shows. It was supposed to be an epic show and it lived up to it. The matches were for the most part good, stories were advanced, things were memorable, and it was fun. Definite recommendation here as so far, it’s the second best Mania and arguably the best along with 3. Los Angeles, here we come!

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Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar  out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: D+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

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The main event was Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff. Was that the right main event?In short, no it wasn’t.  The main event should have been Hogan vs. Piper for the title, preferably with Piper defending the belt that he won at War to Settle the Score  after Piper cheated like there was no tomorrow and stealing the title while Hogan threw a total fit afterwards, demanding a rematch here.  Hogan winning the title back here would have been great and they could have found a way to get T. in there somewhere else.

 

Thoughts on this?

Monday Nitro #68
Date: December 30, 1996
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We close out the 1996 series with this. It’s the night after Starrcade and the NWO is about the same. Piper beat Hogan via sleeper but the title wasn’t on the line after Piper GOT TO WRITE THE CONTRACT HIMSELF. Eddie won the US Title and that’s about it. The idea here is to set up the main event of Souled Out. Now the logical idea would be to have Hogan vs. Piper II but that would be insane in WCW. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives to open the show, bragging about how awesome they are. Hogan brags about life in general but Giant doesn’t look that happy. He points out that the name plate on the world title says The Giant. Hogan has been champion FOUR MONTHS at this point and they never changed the plate?

Giant dropped the ball last night (Luger beat him, I believe in the first WCW win over an NWO wrestler) but Hogan says it’s all ok because the NWO is awesome. Giant wants a title shot but Hogan tries to talk him out of it. Hogan says that Giant’s title shot means a bye for the NWO. Giant wants to be lead dog. This goes on for awhile.

Theme song opens us up.

Tony and Larry talk about how great last night was for WCW. We get stills of Luger vs. Giant. Sting came in and whispered to Luger as well as Giant. He left his bat there and Luger hit Giant with it for the win.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Public Enemy

The Canadians beat them down on the apron and the Enemy has to chill on the floor. Once they do get into the ring they clear out the Canadians and single out Oulette. Now the Enemy won’t let the Canadians in the ring. The Canadians try to leave but get beaten down by their own flags which isn’t a DQ somehow. The Public Enemy tries to put Jacques through a table but go through it themselves. We FINALLY get to a traditional match structure as the Canadians win with the Cannonball. This wasn’t a match so no rating but it was kind of fun.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

I’ll pause to let the internet explode. Dragon holds the J Crown and the Cruiserweight Title while Liger beat Rey last night with the Liger Bomb. Dragon kicks away to start but Liger speeds things up. They both hit clotheslines but no one goes anywhere. There’s the
surfboard by Liger and a suplex for two. Rolling Thunder gets two. Dragon grabs a backbreaker out of nowhere to send Liger to the floor, following up with a suicide dive. Dragon goes up but jumps into two feet. At least he was trying a splash there. Brainbuster and superplex get two for Liger. Out of nowhere Dragon hits a super rana and tiger suplex to retain.

Rating: C+. Good match but short. At this point, Dragon had TEN championships including a title from Mexico. Think about that for a few seconds. It’s a big deal when people have two and Dragon had ten. These two would have a great 18 minute match in Tokyo less than a week after this where Liger won the J Crown.

Big Bubba vs. Konnan

This is a strap match. And there’s no Bubba but he has a replacement.

Mr. Wallstreet vs. Konnan

This is the touch the corners variety. Wallstreet, who has no issues with Konnan, jumps him and whips Konnan down. Konnan does the get the strap between the other guy’s legs and pull spot. We get the same finish that you almost always get for this: Wallstreet drags him around, Konnan hits it at the same time, Konnan dives to win it. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It lasted like two minutes and there was no issue between these two.

Hogan and Bischoff come out. Hogan is all perky because he still has the title. Bischoff says that Hogan won last night and Hogan says that he knew he’d win the whole time. This is a really basic “Hogan is awesome” promo with nothing happening after it’s over.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kensuke Sasaki

Both are big power guys. They hit the ropes and no one moves. A double clothesline puts both guys down but then they pop up. Sasaki chops away but Morrus punches. There’s no selling at all here. Morrus elbows him down and hooks a chinlock. Eric comes up on commentary and says they won’t show the ending to the PPV last night because he has the tape. Sasaki hits a powerslam and there is NO reaction. No one knows who Sasaki is and there’s no point to this match as far as stories go, so why should they care? Top rope elbow misses and Morrus hits the moonsault but Sonny comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Why did this match happen? I mean, no one knows who Sasaki is so a win over him doesn’t matter. Morrus didn’t even get the pin because they did the DQ ending. This was Sasaki’s first WCW match in a year and his last ever with the company. But hey, he’s Japanese so we’re supposed to care I guess? I don’t get it.

We get stills of Piper’s win last night which is supposed to be some big deal.

Harlem Heat vs. Faces of Fear

The announcers rave on and on about how great and important and inspiring the Piper win was. Larry says that it was huge because people had wondered who would win if they fought for years. So we’re supposed to remember Wrestlemania but not all of the other matches they had. Got it. Tony plugs Souled Out which was on a Saturday. Stevie and Barbarian start but it’s off to Booker for some kicks quickly.

Booker goes up but is quickly belly to belly superplexed off. Off to Meng who stomps away and works on the back. And get this: THERE’S A MIDGET MATCH LATER!!! I know they like going back to the 80s but can’t they steal some good ideas? Colonel Parker comes out and spanks Sherri with his riding crop so they get in their 9000th fight. A Rougeau comes out to throw salt in Stevie’s eyes. Kick of Fear takes Stevie down but Booker jumps off the top and clocks Meng so Stevie can get the unconscious cover.

Rating: D. This match sucked too. I don’t get what they’re thinking with half of this card as its like they had no idea that Nitro was happening tonight and threw together a bunch of matches to fill in two hours. This was probably the longest match too, clocking in at about 4 minutes. The fans just don’t care at all either, and can you blame them?

DDP says he’ll fix things with the NWO and move on. He won’t go into details though. It’s implied that he’s going to join them but he hates that he has to.

Hour #2 begins. This one has to be more interesting than that first hour which would work well as an informercial for putting a screwdriver into your head.

We recap Hogan and Giant from earlier, as well as Hogan lying about winning.

Piper has arrived.

Disco Inferno vs. Glacier

There’s a big black spot all over the ring from the stuff that Jacques threw at Stevie in the previous match. After the bell, Disco says drop out of the match or face the wrath of his new leg lock. Glacier flips him over and we’re ready to go. Disco gets kicked a lot so he hides behind the referee and comes back with a clothesline. He sets for his new leg hold but can’t remember how to do it. Instead he hits a pretty good neckbreaker but Glacier pops up and hits a superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Ice > Fire I guess. The match was, again, pointless and nothing interesting. Glacier would stay undefeated until roughly July while Disco would stay a joke for years to come. At the end of the day though, he took a stupid gimmick and kept a job out of it for how many years? That proves something, although it might be that WCW is stupid enough to keep him around.

Stills of Benoit vs. Jarrett where about 5 people interfered and Jeff got the pin while unconscious.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Woman looks pretty good here. Benoit controls to start and Jericho has more rainbowish tights. Huge powerbomb and an elbow gets two for Benoit. Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a backslide. Jericho doesn’t mean much yet so this would be a huge upset. Rollup gets two for Jericho. Jericho gets sent face first into the middle buckle but Jericho comes out with an atomic drop and superkick. Lionsault (not yet named) misses so he goes up top for a cross body. Jericho charges into the corner but gets tied up so that a belly to back superplex from Benoit gets the pin.

Rating: C+. Again, these two getting some time means a good match. Jericho still didn’t mean much but he was rapidly gaining steam. Well whatever steam he was able to get in WCW before they turned him into nothing. The heel turn worked far better for him than the face run did.

The Horsemen minus Arn have an interview but Debra is all nice to Woman. She’ll have none of the lies though and yells at Mongo. Jarrett comes out and says he wants to be a Horseman and lead WCW. He wants to know where Arn is but Flair says he’s off partying. Benoit says Jarrett isn’t a Horseman. PREACH IT BROTHER!!! Flair wants to go party. Can you imagine the REAL Horsemen against the NWO? As in them kidnapping say Wallstreet and breaking his leg then saying they’re coming for the gold? WarGames: Horsemen vs. NWO. Think that might work? Instead we get….this. Thanks Benoit.

Lee Marshall does his phone thing.

Octagoncito/Mascarita Sagrada vs. Jerito Estrada/Piratita Morgan

Again, I get that this is a huge deal in Mexico, but this means NOTHING to American audiences and are a comedy act here. Jerito is taller than the top rope if that tells you anything. He and Sagrada have a small vs. big match and this is going nowhere. The others come in and Octagoncito cleans house. Sagrada pins Jerito with a rollup. This was short and not terrible, but it’s totally out of place here in Tennessee.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Neither gets an entrance as we start immediately after returning from a break. Dean quickly takes him to the mat to control early. Rey sends him to the floor to make sure nothing speeds up all night. Back in and Dean hooks another hold but Rey reverses into one of his own. Dean throws him into the air and then hits his gutbuster for no cover. Half crab by Dean keeps things slow.

Rey speeds things up by running the corner and hitting a dropkick. Dean stays on the back then forearms Rey in the corner. Rey comes back with some of his own but Dean tries to throw him onto the top. Rey was supposed to land on his feet on top but can’t get it so he crotches himself to improvise. That’s much better than trying to stand and making it look stupid.

Dean counters a rana into a big powerbomb for two. Rey comes back with a rolling cradle for the same. Another powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip for two. Mysterio knocks him to the floor and hits a BIG seated senton to the floor, sending his own face into the floor at the same time. West Coast Pop is countered into a Boston Crab and we get a nice pinfall reversal sequence out of it. Rey goes up top for a rana but the bell rings at 9:24 for a draw.

Rating: C+. Another good match which actually means something but the fans DO NOT react at all. Can you really blame them though? They’ve had to sit through an hour and a half of totally worthless matches with guys most of them have never seen before which aren’t getting any kind of time to get anything going with. Now all of a sudden they’re supposed to get fired up? It doesn’t work that way. The match was pretty good (time issues aside) but the dead crowd holds it back.

Lex Luger vs. Greg Valentine

This is exactly what you would expect: Valentine gets in some early offense and pounds away for maybe two minutes or so. Then Luger makes his comeback and the Rack gets the submission.

Here’s Piper for the talk to close the show. He reminds us that he won last night and that it’s his last fight. Hogan and Bischoff come out and talk about how Piper is lying to them. Hollywood says he didn’t end Piper last night because of Piper’s son begging. Piper wants to do it again right now but here’s the NWO. Giant comes out very slowly. Even Nick Patrick is finally in the NWO shirt.

They give Piper a big shoulderbreaker and hit his bad hip with a chair. The tell Giant to chokeslam him and he reluctantly puts Piper in position for it. Giant drops him though and never picked him up off the mat. Giant stands off by himself while the NWO huddles. Hogan says that’s strike three and slaps Giant. Giant grabs him by the throat while the NWO backs off. He says he wants the gold and Hogan promises him a title shot. Giant lets Hogan go and Hogan says he’s got the shot. He gets on the floor and then says get him.

The NWO runs in and Giant beats up all of their low level guys but everyone eventually gangs up on him, allowing Hogan to take him down with belt shots to the back. They rip the NWO shirt off of him and Hogan hits him in the head with the belt as the NWO stands tall to end the show. Oh and Piper is taken away in an ambulance.

Overall Rating: D. Where do I even begin? Ok first and foremost, the ending is the typical problem with WCW at this point: the NWO isn’t allowed to look weak. Giant defecting should have been a big moment, especially with him choking Hogan into giving him a title shot. So what happened? He was beaten down like EVERYONE else has been two minutes later. Why should I buy Giant as being any different than the other guys when the same thing happens to him? There was no reason to and it didn’t work.

As for the rest of the show, it sucked. The crowd was dead (with good reason) and there was no interest in anything on the rest of the card, because WCW put no effort into anything else on the card. Where was Eddie? The guy won the US Title last night but can’t be booked here? We can get Public Enemy vs. Canadians and a midget match but no US Champion? This show has taken a BIG downturn in the past 6-7 shows and I don’t think it’s going to get any better soon.

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Monday Nitro #67
Date: December 23, 1996
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 4,900
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Starrcade and one of the last shows of 1996. I can’t believe I’ve actually gotten this far in this series. Anyway, as usual the wrestling isn’t the focus here but then again, it isn’t supposed to be on a go home show. I’m looking forward to next week’s show a little bit more though because of reasons we’ll get to next time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of a match from 5 weeks ago where Benoit beat Eddie with a nice sunset flip.

US Title Tournament Semi-Final: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

There’s no Woman. Winner of this gets Page on Sunday for the title. They start off fast and Benoit takes him down with a shoulder block. Eddie comes back with chops in the corner as Tony can in fact confirm that Benoit is back from Germany. Gee thanks Tony! Taskmaster says that he’s the real chess master and that he’s got Benoit in his trap. Page joins commentary. After cutting away from the match for the Sullivan promo, we cut to the announce table to watch Page sit down.

Benoit hooks a headscissors on the mat but Eddie reverses into a headlock. Eddie keeps that headlock for awhile despite Benoit’s best efforts to get out. Page talks about the Guerreros: Hector, Chavo, Mondo, Harpo, Zeppo and so on. They go to a test of strength position on the mat with Benoit on top. Eddie gets a rollup for two as we take a break. Back with Eddie getting LAUNCHED onto the top rope in a huge Stun Gun.

A big belly to back gets two for Benoit as he yells as Eddie about who he is. He says he’s not Sullivan for some reason. A big powerbomb gets two. Off to a chinlock as Page is doing very well on commentary. He sounds like he’s having a blast. Eddie grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker out of nowhere and loads up the Frog Splash but Benoit stops him and hits a superplex to put both guys down. A delayed cover gets two.

Benoit pounds him down but Eddie gets all fired up. Benoit drapes him across the top rope and covers for two but he grabs the ropes so it’s broken up. They go to the corner with Benoit trying a belly to back superplex but Eddie knocks him off and jumps off into a spinning Frog Splash to go to Starrcade.

Rating: B+. This is the best match I’ve seen on Nitro in a very long time. Eddie and Benoit of course has classic after classic and this was a very good one. The Frog Splash at the end was great and Benoit was feeling it with that high impact stuff. Very good match and an awesome opener. Eddie would win the title on Sunday.

Here are the Horsemen for some talking. Anderson says that a focused Benoit wouldn’t have lost. Last week he had to sit through a beating from Sullivan because he was the one sitting on a couch when the husband got home. Anderson goes on a rant against Benoit but Debra decides to cut him off and say no one likes Woman. She has plenty of friends that Benoit can have an affair with. Benoit says he doesn’t appreciate being told things like that because he was one of the ones that helped reunite the Horsemen. He actually tells Debra to talk to the hand as Mongo comes in to stop him. Flair has to play peacemaker.

Here’s the NWO with Hogan, Vincent, Ted and Liz. We get a spotlight on demand and Hogan says he smells Piper Mania. He’s the biggest star in the world, Hollywood loves him, Piper is a coward, etc. Tony says Piper isn’t here tonight. Now I know a lot of you would expect me to rant and rave about how stupid it is that WCW would have the go home show without the face in the main event of the biggest show of the year there, but at this point, why would you be surprised? It’s late 1996 and Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper is the main event. Hogan poses to “entertain” the people.

Trailer for Marked Man, which somehow proves that Piper is a bigger star according to Tony.

Tombstone vs. Lex Luger

Tombstone is 911 from ECW. This is your standard monster vs. hero match as Lex gets overpowered but then growls a lot and comes back. The Rack ends this quick. Not quite a squash but close enough.

Giant comes in post match and Lex hammers on him a bit. He gets Giant in the Rack but the NWO comes in. Lex drops Giant and runs.

Here’s a video from last week where there were two Stings. We also get a clip from the ending of the show where the WCW guys jumped Sting and that proves he’s NWO in WCW’s stupid minds.

JL vs. Rey Mysterio

The match is discussed for all of 4 seconds as we talk about how WCW needs a leader. JL sends him to the floor as JL misses a dive. Rey hits a rana off the apron to pop the crowd but Tony doesn’t even stop talking about Starrcade. Springboard legdrop gets two for Mysterio. Rey tries a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Mysterio comes back with a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana sends JL to the floor and a suicide dive takes both of them out. West Coast Pop misses and JL tries La Magistral for two. JL goes up but Rey hits a super rana for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad again here but the focus being on Hogan vs. Piper for the most part got annoying. By that I mean it got annoying about an hour ago. At this point it’s expected every time there’s a match. Rey was so fun to watch at this point before his knees turned into something that is jealous of pudding’s toughness.

Rey comes up to the announce table and says that Sting is WCW. He was defending himself because Rey jumped on him last week. Since that’s logical and common sense though, Larry and Tony basically brush Rey off. We even get the Holding Out For A Hero tape from last week. Larry and Tony swear up and down that Sting is NWO. This company deserved to go out of business with how stupid they were. In another WCW gem, here’s this exchange. Tony: “Rey we’ve found that tape.” Rey: “Would you please play….” Tony: “WE ARE LIVE WITH THE SECOND HOUR OF MONDAY NITRO!!!” I give up man. I just do.

The NWO has sworn that Piper is here.

They REAIR Hogan’s promo from earlier. I rarely do this but I fast forward through this.

Glacier vs. Buddy Lee Parker

Glaicer kicks a lot, chops a lot, then kicks a lot more. He hits his Cryonic kick which Parker kicks out of for no apparent reason. A second one finishes this.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Public Enemy

Tony keeps hyping this as the holiday edition but there’s nothing other than a few decorations on the set. The Canadians sing O Canada in French. Tony and Tenay say it’s the wrong words, because apparently FRENCH Canadians should speak English right? Public Enemy jumps them and let’s get this over with. Naturally it’s not really a match as the Canadians are sent to the floor.

They manage to double team Grunge a bit though as the announcers talk about Hogan vs. Piper. I can live with it in a garbage match like this. We get to an actual match with Jacques beating on Grunge. The Canadians get a table set up but Rocco makes the save. Public Enemy finally says screw it and breaks the table over Jacques for the DQ. Total mess rather than a match so no rating.

We recap Bubba joining the NWO last week.

Konnan vs. Big Bubba

Nick Patrick is referee and he doesn’t have a neck brace anymore. Bubba beats Konnan down to start but then goes after Jimmy. This allows Konnan to dive through the dives to take Bubba out. He dropkicks him into the steps and then stands around like an idiot. Patrick takes forever to count so Bubba can come back in and get in a right hand.

The match grinds to a total halt because Bubba doesn’t seem interested in hurting Konnan at all. This results in a lot of slow choking which kills the crowd after a hot start. There’s a smother and Bubba claims Jimmy hit him, so Patrick throws him out. Konnan makes his comeback and throws Bubba over the top for the lame DQ.

Rating: D-. This started fast but oh my goodness this stopped dead after about 90 seconds. Bubba was so pathetic on offense and the whole thing died once he took over. Konnan wasn’t a great guy in the ring but he was trying harder here than Bubba, which really should summarize things for you.

Lee Marshall calls in.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Dean Malenko

Dean takes him down to the mat but Regal is like tut tut and takes over. They go into a test of strength position and both nip up to try to escape it. This was before Regal got addicted to everything on the planet and could still be awesome in the ring. Regal takes over with a cravate on the mat. They’re still pushing the idea that heavyweights are vastly superior to cruiserweights so Dean is a big underdog.

Sonny Onoo comes out and is quickly ejected so there wasn’t much of a point to that cameo. The crowd is pretty much dead for this but the match is fine. Off to a headscissors on the mat as Regal keeps control. Regal shifts over to the arm and into a modified abdominal stretch. They go to the corner and Dean hits a dropkick to take Regal down as Regal comes out of the corner.

Both guys are down now so Regal hooks a full nelson. Regal now goes for his 8th body part, taking out the knee. Dean reverses his half crab into a Texas Cloverleaf attempt but Regal grabs the rope. The American hits a release German to the Englishman to take over. A brainbuster hits….and there’s the time limit. Gah that gimmick gets old but at least they didn’t announce it.

Rating: C. The match was pretty boring for the crowd because it’s heel vs. heel. On the other hand though, the technical stuff was really fun as you had two guys that could pretty much do anything in the ring. The array of submissions got a little old but at least it never got boring, which is a rarity on Nitro half the time.

Rick Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett

The fans want Sting but they get a Steiner powerslam to start. An elbow hits Jarrett as well as Jeff is in trouble early. He comes back with a middle rope clothesline as the announcers talk about how high the buyrate is going to be. Here’s the NWO Sting (with Heenan actually realizing it’s the fake one for once) to try the Death Drop on Jarrett. Steiner hits Fake Sting with a clothesline and Jarrett pins Fake Sting to end this. Why would you cover him? Why would the referee count it? Why am I surprised?

Here’s the NWO to close the show. Hogan talks about how he got a verbally written letter from Piper, admitting that Hogan is the icon. Piper’s music plays….and it’s Bischoff dressed as Piper. He does a bad Scottish accent and talks about Wrestlemania. Bischof insists that a referee get out here as Tony says wrestling has reached a new low and refuses to call this stuff.

Eric lays down for Hogan and gets pinned with one foot. He bows down to Hogan and here’s the real Piper, after probably half the audience has left because they were told he wasn’t here. He has a full band with him. And the NWO runs in to beat him down and end the show. Sting watches from the rafters.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is rapidly going downhill. The matches have stopped meaning much of anything, the announcers have reached levels of stupidity that I didn’t think existed (which would be crushed in the near future) and the PPVs they build to would get worse and worse, starting with a bad Starrcade coming up on Sunday. The shows are still watchable at this point, although they’re getting weak in a hurry.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

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Starrcade 1996
Date: December 29, 1996
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 9,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

Since I want to get my third straight year of WCW complete, here’s the final show of 1996. The main event here is Hogan vs. Piper which shouldn’t be too bad since they were in their primes a mere 11 years ago. I never quite got why this was supposed to be the biggest match in the world but it’s WCW so why am I looking for logic? Other than that there isn’t a ton here but it’s Starrcade so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Hogan vs. Piper of course. The announcers talk about it to no end as well.

J Crown/Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

The J Crown is a collection of 8 light weight titles from around the world that Dragon held. This is 8 titles vs. 1, which does a good job of making the Cruiserweight Title seem important. The Dragon is covered in belts here. This is more or less a dream match as they’ve been built up as unbeatable the whole time. Also, one of those 8 belts is the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship, meaning that there is a WWF Title being defended on a WCW show.

As always, Heenan kisses up to Sonny Onoo which is one of his trademarks for some reason. Tenay joins them for commentary. How did he go from being the Professor to what he is now? We go to the mat almost immediately as it’s a feeling out process at the moment. Tenay makes an interesting observation and says there is no challenger here. That’s true to a degree and sounds cool for some reason.

Dragon taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. Sonny suggests he can hold his pants up with the 9th belt. We hear about a match recently where Malenko tried to fight a heavyweight and, GASP, he did quite well. Why didn’t more guys do that? Loud USA chant as the xenophobia runs wild as always. Dragon uses the STF(U) which causes a bunch of jokes from the announcers that aren’t funny.

Dean’s speed really is underrated. He moves around very well for his size which definitely isn’t your traditional cruiserweight look. Dragon dives through the ropes after faking Malenko out of his shoes. Octopus Hold on Malenko which Dusty thinks is an abdominal stretch but whatever. Tenay says Dragon’s name actually means Final Dragon, meaning the final protégé of Bruce Lee. If that’s true, Dragon was his protégé when he was 6 and a half years old, which is assuming he was his protégé on the last day of Lee’s life.

Malenko finally gets a break as he takes Dragon down and works the knee. Handspring elbow misses and Dean DRILLS him with a powerslam. Powerbomb by Dragon gets two as the crowd is getting into this quickly. Jumping Tombstone gets two and a HUGE pop for Malenko. All Dean here as he gets another two count. Asai Moonsault gets us back to even.

Both guys are down on the floor for a bit. Back in and a top rope moonsault misses, injuring Dragon’s knee. Cloverleaf is hooked and of course Sonny interferes. They do a very nice pinfall reversal sequence and then Dragon hits a Tiger Suplex (the arms are hooked like Cattle Mutilation but he does a suplex) for the pin. HUH? That makes NO sense from a booking perspective. The crowd was WAY into this to put it mildly and the ending just sucked the life out of the place. Dragon would lose the J-Crown in less than a week in Tokyo.

Rating: B+. GREAT opener here but Dean desperately needed to win to make it work. He would get the Cruiserweight Title back in like three weeks so that didn’t matter either. This was a weird booking decision all around and it just didn’t do anyone any favors. We got a good match out of it though so I guess there’s that.

Someone else is coming to the NWO. If I remember right, it was Norton. Yeah this was mentioned on PPV.

WCW Women’s Title: Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa

Speaking of meaningless things, this was around for like 7 months with the winner here being one of two people to hold it ever. The other title match was in Japan after one of these two vacated it and then the title just disappeared. Lee Marshall is on commentary here for no apparent reason. Madusa is doing the whole patriot thing here and it gets as much of a reaction as you would expect it to.

Hokuto was actually in the tournament twice, once under a mask and once not. That should go to show you how deep in talent this division, which is a stretch in its own right, really was. Madusa gets stuck in a Sharpshooter for all of 3 seconds. Hokuto bits Madusa’s foot. Yeah this is pretty weak. Madusa/Alundra Blayze more or less was American women’s wrestling until Sable started getting in the ring.

There is almost nothing to talk about regarding the match here in case that didn’t come off clearly. Dusty says Akira’s hair is nappy, which would likely get him fired today and here it’s glazed over. Madusa hits a DDT which Tony of course thingks is a DDT. It’s amazing how many moves he snapped off that I’ve never even heard of at last year’s Starrcade and now he doesn’t even know basic stuff. That’s Bischoff for you.

This is boring as the announcers try very hard to not talk about T&A which is really what Madusa was known for since she was huge in both areas. Sonny blasts Madusa with the American flag behind the referee’s back and a brainbuster ends this bad match.

Rating: D. Is there a reason for the whole Japanese push here? I don’t really get that but whatever. This would have been bad no matter what the ending was, as this was just not interesting in the slightest. I know Bischoff was obsessed with Japanese wrestling, but dang dude not everything, such as joshi, needs to come over.

Piper, high as a freaking kite, goes on a huge rant about how they’re both icons and how there are other icons. This is less coherent than a Warrior interview. He can’t carry a piano in a parade and has six kids. Piper thinks Gene is Roseanne and makes a Jewish joke before hopping away on one foot. To say this was out there is a drastic understatement.

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Rey Mysterio

Was there a sale on Japanese workers tonight or something? This should be a great match but three of them in a row? Really man? We hear about Liger having brain surgery of all things earlier in the year. Rey is in WAY over his head here as he’s only been in WCW for a few months while Liger has been here on and off for years. Total beatdown to more or less zero reaction.

Dusty talks about the Figure Four for some reason despite it having no bearing on this match at all. Liger hits a powerbomb on the floor as this has been more or less one sided the entire time. He hooks a surfboard which is one of my all time favorite submission holds. Rey shakes his head all over and you can’t tell which way his head is going.

Crowd is DEAD here by the way. This is rather odd as this has been a rather hard hitting match but I guess it’s the lack of caring of the whole international guys and their style but still this is weird. Granted the one sided thing isn’t helping anything. Dusty talks about his old partner Dick Murdoch who must be watching this tonight. Dusty is such a great friend that he didn’t realize Murdoch died six months before this.

They crank it up again and Rey hits a HUGE moonsault to the floor to wake up this hick crowd. These Tennessee crowds hate anything that isn’t on the mat and doesn’t have a wacky finish like Lawler would book. This high flying stuff is totally pointless to them and you can tell by their reactions. Rey tries to drop a dime and misses to NO change in reaction. Liger Bomb ends it to nothing of course. As Heenan puts it: Japan 3, US 0.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but the booking of Rey getting destroyed was weird. The crowd really brings this down which isn’t something I complain about too often but it’s the problem of having the good old boys crowd like this and it just did not work at all. They decide what they like and if it’s not the same thing they’ve seen for 50 years they will sit on their hands and give the guys nothing.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit

This is No DQ and is somehow part of the eternally awful Horsemen vs. Dungeon of Doom feud which never got any resolution. Not because of the NWO or anything but rather people just didn’t care and it died. Benoit is the heel here because he stole the wife of Kevin Sullivan (Woman, which happened both in real life and in storyline. The line that sums it up is that Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce) and might be thrown out of the Horsemen for it. Yeah, Benoit stole a single woman while Flair came out at Wrestle War 89 to fight Steamboat with over 20 of them and Benoit is about to be thrown out for Jarrett, who Flair has given a seal of approval to.

To show you how much people can’t stand Jarrett, he’s the face in the storyline, has RIC FLAIR saying how great he is and is the home state boy. He promptly gets booed out of the building in favor of Benoit. Jarrett is in his old school semi-male stripper outfit which is gray on the back and white on the front. This is a far more technical and ground based match so the people seem to be alive for this one. Benoit yells at him and holds up four fingers to a face pop which the company doesn’t want but whatever.

It breaks down into a fight and we hit the floor. Woman gets involved and Jarrett gets crotched, giving Benoit the advantage. This is one of those matches where you shouldn’t try to factor in the storyline but you have to and it cripples it. The match isn’t bad I guess but at the same time it’s really nothing special given the parties involved.

Jarrett goes off but Woman stops him with her fingers into the eyes and Arn Anderson is here. He walks by Benoit which is supposed to be an insult to Benoit I guess. Cue the Dungeon of Doom and they go after Woman. Taskmaster is here and blasts Benoit with a wooden chair. I think Anderson knocked Jarrett out because when everything is clear Jarrett is on Benoit for the pin.

Rating: D+. Decent little match but the angle was just completely awful. Why are they fighting? Aren’t they kind of both Horsemen? Ah wait: Jarrett just hangs out with them and their leader has endorsed him forever but he isn’t a Horseman. Benoit is bad for stealing Woman from his heel husband which was the whole idea of Hogan vs. Savage in 88/89 but whatever. This feud SUCKED and of course went on for like a year since Konnan and Hugh Morrus are such huge issues for guys like Anderson and Flair right? See what I mean by it’s annoying?

Anderson won’t talk to Gene to explain anything because that would be nice. Neither will Jarrett. Benoit and Woman won’t either and here’s Mongo to HUGE booing. He’s a heel here so at least they got that right. He runs down Benoit to an extent and then the extent is gone. Debra gets the loudest heat of the night which is a bad sign. I think the idea is that Benoit’s affair is breaking up the Horsemen….somehow…..and the Dungeon is happy. Flair wants to replace Benoit with Benoit but Arn is remaining loyal to Benoit, even though he doesn’t want to. They managed to screw up the HORSEMEN. Are you getting how bad this regime really was?

Video on Sting as we’re not sure where he’s going. I still can’t believe that this thing lasted a year before his next match.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

I remember when this was announced and I was 8 years old. Even then I thought it was some kind of a joke. Nash gets a big pop because he’s Nash and this is Nashville. It was on a sign. Even I’m not that corny. That NWO music really is sweet. I thought of that and then remembered the line so there must be something to the catchphrases. The champions come out first which is odd.

Faces of Fear are Meng and Barbarian and part of the Dungeon of Doom. Meng and Hall start us off as I continue to marvel at Barbarian’s ability to get work. The fans chant Razor to be funny and then Nash, the big man comes in. I say big even though Hall is taller than both of the Faces but whatever. Clubbering commences on Nash and this isn’t very interesting since there is NO chance the titles are changing here.

Racial stereotypes are enforced as a double noggin knocker does nothing. More or less dominance by the challengers so far but Nick Patrick is the referee so expect a screwy ending. Barbarian hits a Jackknife on Hall and takes about a week to cover him so Nash won’t have to run. Syxx steals the Megaphone from Hart and runs him off.

Barbarian knocks Hall out with a nerve hold and Patrick won’t do anything about it. Naturally more of the hold makes him Hulk Up to a face pop. Nash comes in to another face pop and kicks Barbarian in the face, proving that his foot is harder than Meng’s head. Jackknife ends Barbarian.

Rating: D+. No drama at all and the dynamic was all screwed up since WCW refused to accept that these guys were faces at this point. I mean really though, the Faces of Fear? They’re the best challengers you could find? That’s what killed this match: no drama. When I was 8 I knew this wasn’t happening and I know it even more now. Not horrible though.

DiBiase and Hogan say they’ll beat Piper. Seriously is this 1987? Hogan does a huge rant about Piper’s kids and drops in brand names like Campbell’s Soup and Coke. Holy product placement Batman! This is like two and a half minutes long.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is a tournament final for the title Flair had to vacate due to his shoulder injury. Page was on the brink of the push of a lifetime, but is still a heel here. That would change in less than a month as he would begin the monster face push that had it not been for Sting, could have made him the dark horse to take the title off Hogan at Starrcade the next year. That’s how hot he was in 1997. Eddie is still the nice guy and has about as much personality as Todd Grisham at this point.

Page has fans here and for once WCW got the idea. These two feuded earlier in the year over the Battlebowl Ring which went nowhere. Page had gotten help from Hall and Nash which he hadn’t asked for as they try to get him to join. Get what he was about to do to become the huge face? There’s no belt or anything as Giant still has it. The three commentators really are too much. Dusty can’t believe the fans are yelling for DDP.

This is a pretty basic match and the crowd is silent AGAIN. Nice pescado to put DDP down. Heenan has mic issues or something and is gone. We get more confusing commentary as Dusty raves about how the Diamond Cutter could be hit from anywhere but then says you have to soften the guy up for it. Yeah that makes sense. Heenan is back and this is a pretty decent back and forth match.

I like Heenan’s jokes about Mrs. Guerrero’s chili. That stuff must be awesome. Frog Splash misses and Eddie might have hurt his knee. Page uses something like a Jackhammer for two. It was more like a powerslam and in one motion though which made it fairly cool looking. Very good back and forth match so far here and the crowd simply does not care for the most part which is really depressing.

Page says Diamond Cutter time but Eddie gets knocked to the floor and Page is down in the ring. Cue Outsiders and a Razor’s Edge for DDP. Frog Splash ends it as he didn’t see anything since he was down on the floor. Eddie has the belt even though we were told it was stolen by Giant earlier. The NWO runs in again and beats him down, stealing the belt AGAIN, setting up Syxx vs. Eddie next month in a ladder match.

Rating: B. The match was good, but I would have liked it a lot more if DDP had lost clean. The NWO was the focal point of the company, but like Nexus there needs to be some stuff they’re not involved in that actually matters. This was more overkill by them as they were the only thing that mattered at all and it would start to wear on people. This was a rather good match though as both guys were working hard with some near falls that almost got people caring. Good match.

Ad for Souled Out which was very different to say the least. We’ll get to that later.

Lex Luger vs. The Giant

This is the next to last match and the second biggest on the card. Tony declares that 1996 will be the year that Luger arrives. You know, other than the rookie of the year or the world title reigns he had. This has been building up for a long time so this is a legit showdown and it really does wake the crowd up for the first time since the opener. A long lockup results in punching and shoving.

Luger punches him then gets shoved across the ring. Giant ENDS him with a running clothesline and it’s heel (the popular kind) dominance. Giant kicks him in the ribs and launches him through the ropes in a cool looking spot. He works on Luger’s back and it’s one sided for the most part. Can someone give Dusty something to play with so he’ll BE QUIET?

Luger makes a short comeback with a double axehandle but the slam of course doesn’t work. They tease the Rack but it goes nowhere. Giant goes for a running dropkick and misses, drawing no reaction at all. They say this match has been brutal. I wouldn’t got that far but it certainly hasn’t been very good. Luger finally puts him down with a neckbreaker but gets launched onto the referee who of course lays there to take it.

There’s the slam and Nick Patrick comes down. Luger gets him up but Patrick kicks him in the leg. Sting walks through the crowd and the Rack is on again. SYXX comes down to kick Luger now. Sting comes in and throws the bat down before talking to both Luger and Giant and leaving again. Low blow and about four bat shots end Giant to a HUGE pop. This is the first official loss for the NWO and it only took Luger, Sting and a ball bat to do it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. Luger didn’t do anything here other than the Rack which lasted all of a second. Giant didn’t do anything of note and even with the crowd being all poppish over this, the whole thing never went anywhere. This is supposed to start Giant’s face turn because Hogan and the Outsiders wouldn’t come out to help him but no one wound up caring since Hogan beat him at the next show.

Tony saying this is the turning point of Luger’s career really is funny.

Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan

This is the Match of the Decade. No wait….make that of the CENTURY. What did they expect here anyway? Hogan hadn’t had a good match in years and Piper was crippled for the most part. Hogan has Liz, DiBiase and Vincent with him. The belt, which is about 13 years old, is billed as being 95 at this point. Ok for those of you that have heard the whole 1905 thing, there’s an explanation for that since it’s wrong.

The original championship (not the belt but the title itself if that makes sense) was made in like 1947 in Iowa. That was the NWA Title, as in National Wrestling Alliance. It became the only world title when the National Wrestling ASSOCIATION Title, which hardly anyone has heard of but was from 1905, was unified with it when Thesz beat someone that means nothing.

Eventually the NWA World Title belt was made (as in the one Kane currently holds. Well not really but that design) for Flair in the mid 1980s because he was supposed to be a larger than life character so he had a larger than life belt. That was still the NWA Title but eventually was used as the WCW Title due to a way too complicated sequence of events and lawsuits.

Eventually it became the WCW Title and had nothing to do with the NWA Title anymore as it is now the old style that you can see at shows before 86 in what became WCW. The title that Hogan holds here (the WCW World Title) has been in existence for about six years at this point and the belt itself (Big Gold Belt, as in the design Kane has although not that belt in particular since that is the World Heavyweight Championship and was invented in 2002 as the original Raw World Title) a little over ten, but hey, saying it’s 91 years old sounds better right? Welcome to the wonderful world of title lineages.

Anyway back to the match. Hogan heads to the floor as the bell rings. Vince and Liz leave and it’s just DiBiase. Hogan slaps Piper on a break in the corner as that is the only offense in about two minutes so far. The bald one runs to waste more time. Lots of punching and kicking here and Hogan stalls again. DO SOMETHING! Hey look it’s a headlock!

It’s pretty much all Hogan here, much like he would do the next year against Sting. Neither guy can do much more than a Tough Enough rookie could do here and it’s just bad. Hogan runs AGAIN for like the third time so far. Piper finds a belt somewhere and whips Hogan with it. He goes after DiBiase to let Hogan take over again. Baldie goes after the hip as this is just horribly boring.

DiBiase interferes again and both guys just fall down. This is just bad. Both guys are far too old and neither can do anything at all other than punch. Piper throws in a suplex to officially classify this as a wrestling match. We get it: Piper has heart and a FIRE inside. Legdrop misses and here comes the NWO. Giant picks Piper up for a Chokeslam and just holds him there for like 10 seconds. A fan comes in and everyone beats him down.

Piper gets out of the chokeslam I guess just because Giant forgot what he was doing. Sleeper goes on to NO reaction again and Hogan goes out clean. It takes forever but the fans finally get that Hogan just lost. The Outsiders run out before Piper can get his belt. Ah never mind: this was non-title. See, the interesting thing is that WCW NEVER mentioned that the title wasn’t on the line. Imagine if Cena vs. Batista at Mania had been non title. To say there would have been an uproar is an understatement.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL as both guys are old and can’t move so of course they get the equivalent of Wrestlemania. The non-title thing is bait and switch to the core and it ticked off a LOT of people. They had a rematch at Superbrawl where Savage turned NWO and kept the title on Hogan. This was just flat out bad and everyone knew it would be.

Hogan chases down Giant and he and the Outsiders yell at the big man. Giant says where were you when I needed you. We throw in a line about Hogan still being champion even though he lost.

Overall Rating: D-. For a regular show, this isn’t bad at all. For the biggest show of the year, this is a disaster. There are 8 matches on this card. The first three mean nothing. Truly, they meant nothing. Just over three weeks later the title was back on Malenko and the other two mean even less. I had already forgotten Jarrett vs. Benoit by the time I got to this point.

The tag title match was a token defense. The US Title was ok but it meant nothing since it led to the far more important DDP face turn. The final two matches are ok at best but again are just table setting for Souled Out. The wrestling is ok in a huge stretch and other than that this was horrible. Didn’t like it when I was a kid and can’t stand it now.

 

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Monday Nitro #66
Date: December 16, 1996
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase

We’re in Florida this week and we’re just about to Starrcade with only one show after this before the big one. Also tonight is the last televised Sting match for over a year. That’s assuming he wrestles of course. We’ll also get more of the Piper vs. Hogan buildup which should be somewhat entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the NWO to start and they storm the announcers’ desk. Eric wants to do commentary and Larry says he’s not leaving. DiBiase and Virgil aren’t enough to make him leave. Tony leaves and Larry finally goes also.

We get a clip from the ending of last week’s show. Hogan is here tonight.

TV Title: Psicosis vs. Steven Regal

I don’t think this is a title match. Oh so it is. Eric says they’ll be taking over New Japan next. They fight over a wristlock to start and hit the mat where Regal takes over. Regal works on the arm and Bischoff implies that Regal will join the NWO soon. We take a break to NWO music and Bischoff promising something special. Back with Regal firing off European uppercuts in the corner.

Rolling cradle gets two. Psicosis speeds things up to send him to the floor. The fans are getting into this too. Psicosis hits a big dive to the floor and a top rope sunset flip for two. A top rope rana gets the same and the fans are really into this. The guillotine legdrop gets the same but I don’t think that was Psicosis’ finisher yet. Regal comes back with a suplex but his neck is hurting him.

Regal hooks the crossface part of the Regal Stretch and Psicosis taps but it doesn’t count yet. Now it’s a half nelson as Regal works on the neck. Butterfly suplex for two. Regal tries a top rope butterfly suplex but Psicosis knocks him down and hits a kind of frog splash for two. Psicosis superkicks him down (good one too) and tries a victory roll but Regal slams him onto his face and the Regal Stretch gets the submission.

Rating: B. I would ask where this came from, but as I say over and over on here: giving talented people time usually means you’re going to get a good match. Psicosis really had the fans into this and I think had them believing that the title was in danger. The idea of someone that was viewed as having only a tiny chance would be used again in February.

We recap the Sting vs. Rick Steiner stuff.

Big Bubba vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Bubba knocks him into the corner to start but Chavo manages to speed things up to take over. He gets Bubba tied up in the ropes and dropkicks him to the floor. Bubba slams him out there though and Chavo is in trouble. Back inside a splash misses and Chavo hits some dropkicks. He fights out of a powerbomb position with right hands but jumps into a Bossman Slam for the pin.

Here are Sonny Onoo and Masa Chono. Sonny is his agent and is negotiating with New Japan for his contract. Sonny opens his jacket to reveal a New Japan show. Chono opens his jacket to reveal an NWO shirt. Chono yells at Sonny and Gene wants to know what he says. Sonny says something in Japanese. Gene: “IN ENGLISH YOU IDIOT!!!”

Chris Jericho vs. Masa Chono

Chono sends him to the floor and Jericho has no idea what to do with this guy. Chono knocks him down and yells at the referee. Sunset flip gets two for Jericho. Jericho tries to fight back but Chono is too much for him. Masa goes up but Jericho manages to get a superplex followed by a spinwheel kick for two. A top rope version of the kick misses but Jericho lands on Chono’s back. I think Chono was supposed to duck but didn’t get completely out of the way. Jericho gets knocked into the ropes and his foot gets tied into them. Chono chokes him until it’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but Jericho wasn’t ready to hang in there with Chono yet. Also this was designed to be almost total domination for the new NWO guy which was par for the course at this point. I don’t remember when WCW’s first major win was but it would be awhile coming unless I’m overlooking something.

We recap last week’s Piper stuff as well as his segment with Flair.

Here are Flair and the Horsemen minus Benoit. Anderson says he’ll take out Sullivan tonight. Flair tells Benoit to get home. Debra doesn’t like Woman. Mongo says be ready Arn. Flair loses his voice and says Piper will kill Hogan.

Dave Sammartino vs. Dean Malenko

Did they lose a bet or something? The last national match I can find for Sammartino before this is at Wrestlemania I. That’s over 11 years ago! Did they owe Bruno a favor or something? They fight over the arm to start and Dean takes him to the mat like he’s fighting a no talent hack that is in the ring because his dad is famous. Small package gets two. A tiger suplex ends this. Not even enough to call it a squash. It was more like a workout with a punching bag for Dean.

Hour #2 begins and it’s Tony, Bobby and Tenay back on commentary.

We look at Chono joining the NWO again.

Ice Train vs. Jerry Flynn

Train destroys the martial arts guy to start but walks into a clothesline. Tony plugs the NWO PPV even though he doesn’t want to. Train takes him down again and this is a really boring match. He wins with an ankle lock of all things.

Rating: F. This is one of those times where you have to wonder what WCW was thinking. I mean…why does this match exist? Who thought this show needed Ice Train vs. Jerry Flynn? Ice Train would have four more matches on Nitro through May and then wouldn’t be on this show for over three years. Flynn would be about the same. I don’t get it.

Post match Syxx brings out the Outsiders. The Outsiders talk for a bit and the gist is Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders tonight.

Video on Sting abandoning WCW.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Bobby Eaton

Eaton goes for the knee quickly and works on the arm. Mysterio vs. Liger is announced for Starrcade. Rey sends him to the floor and hits a dive to take over. They head back in and things slow down. Rey works on the arm which isn’t something I ever recall him doing. Eaton takes over again and the top rope knee drop gets two. Eaton goes up again but Rey crotches him and hits a top rope rana for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a big surprise for me. With the talent you have in there, this was a big disappointment. I think the problem at the end of the day is that Eaton isn’t used to being the much bigger guy and that messed him up. The match isn’t terrible but they weren’t clicking at all.

Benoit and Woman are still in Germany and have another video, basically saying Benoit has taken Woman from Sullivan.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Rick Steiner vs. Sting

Sting comes from the rafters and through the crowd. That doesn’t look like Sting at all. A second one comes out and that one looks more like him. The second one is the real one. The fake one has a ball bat. And so does the real one. The fake one throws his bat to Scott and the real one throws his to Rick. They turn around and offer a free shot to the Steiners, but the real Sting hits a Death Drop on the fake one, who we’re told is the NWO Sting. The real one walks out. No match.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Well at least the big names as Giant and Hogan are here with Vincent and DiBaise. Liz is there too. DiBiase demands a spotlight for Hulk. Hulk calls out Piper when we know Piper isn’t here. Hogan talks about starting here like Piper started in Charlotte last week. He says he was beating up Andre the Giant when he stated. Vincent is sent to the back to find Piper. Hulk says he could beat up Flair and Piper at the same time. Vincent comes back and tells Hogan that Piper ran out the back door. Hogan poses and dances to end this.

Faces of Fear vs. Outsiders

Brawl to start and Hall loads up the Edge on Meng. Barbarian breaks it up and Big Bubba comes in and joins the NWO, beating up Meng. Sullivan comes out and is knocked backwards. The Dungeon comes in but they’re outnumbered. The whole NWO comes out and some WCW guys join in as well. Scott Norton drops Ice Train on the floor and is NWO as well.

Sting comes in and the brawl stops. The fight stops and Anderson swings at Sting. Sting ducks and hits Anderson. Mongo gets in some shots so Sting hits him too. Rey jumps on him and is slammed down. Sting walks out to end the show. He only hit people that attacked him.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade. It’s a very entertaining show and I can’t take that away from it. However there’s something very important to note. With the three new additions to the NWO, counting non-wrestlers, there are now SIXTEEN members. The common problem people have with the NWO is that there were too many members. Within the last two weeks, they’ve added 4 new members, most of whom mean nothing. You could argue that Bubba is the biggest name as most American fans didn’t know who Chono was. You can see the problems that will plague the group starting here.

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