Smackdown
Date: September 29, 2006
Location: Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less two weeks away from No Mercy and most of the card is set. That’s a good situation to be in as it means the next two weeks can be spent firming everything up and adding something here and there. This week is about the guest star though, as John Cena is here for a six man main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at King Booker’s Court invading Raw and making John Cena kiss Booker’s foot. Of course you know this means match.

Here’s Cena, with a banged up arm, to get things going. Before he gets into dealing with Booker and company, he is glad to be back on Smackdown because it’s like hosting Saturday Night Live. He’s the WWE Champion again and now he has a new movie coming out. Cena: “Go and see it a million times.”

Cena is glad to have the big fist and Tony Chimmel as the ring announcer. Then there’s JBL, who Cena remembers taking a beating the last time they saw him. Next to JBL is Michael Cole, the Whitney Houston to his Bobby Brown, and Cena has a gift for him. After handing Cole some balls, Cena talks about King Booker’s Court being here, but so are Batista and Bobby Lashley. Tonight, the odds are even.

Video on Vickie Guerrero joining forces with her nephew Chavo.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvester Terkay

Elijah Burke is here with Terkay….who tells Burke to take his place.

Rey Mysterio vs. Elijah Burke

Rey snaps off a headscissors to start as JBL goes into a rant about how Mysterio’s success in Mexico means nothing in the USA. Burke knocks him into the corner as we see the Guerreros being rather pleased in the back. That’s leg to in a hurry but Burke misses the top rope elbow. As JBL again called Terkay and Burke the best interracial team since the APA, Mysterio hits the spinning springboard crossbody to put Burke down. The 619 lets Rey Drop The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one other than Burke taking a loss that he probably didn’t need to lose. Terkay continues to be the star of the team, but that doesn’t mean his partner needs to be losing. Mysterio needed the boost on the way towards his match against Chavo at No Mercy, but I would think there is someone better to take the loss than Burke.

Post match Terkay jumps Mysterio from behind and lays him out with a Muscle Buster. We see the Guerreros seeming rather pleased in the back.

Ashley Massaro introduces a video on Brian Kendrick and Paul London.

Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot at No Mercy and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. Stevens gets pounded down to start so it’s off to James to get taken into the wrong corner. A kick to the chest gets two on James as JBL gets on Cole for playing soccer. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kash’s moonsault press gets two on James. A small package has James in trouble but McCool turns it over to give James the pin.

Rating: C. Again, not much time to go anywhere but it could have been a lot worse. The problem is we’ve already seen Kendrick and London beat both teams so there is only so much interest in watching either of them get another shot. The lack of time might be annoying, but it was the right move here.

Marine video. Just have the thing come out already.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero

They trade some standing switches to start until Hardy drops him with a right hand. Back up and Chavo pulls Matt off the middle rope for a crash and it’s off to a seated armbar. That’s broken up as well and Matt hits some clotheslines into a backdrop. The bulldog gets two and there’s the middle rope legdrop. Vickie Guerrero gets on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Gregory Helms to come in for the real distraction. That’s enough for Chavo to grab a tornado DDT into the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Two talented guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes is almost always going to work and the interferences both made sense. Chavo is starting to feel like more of a player than Eddie’s sidekick and while I’m not sure how far up the ladder he can go, it’s nice to see someone as talented as he is finally getting a chance of his own outside of the Cruiserweight Title.

Post match, Helms hits Hardy with a Shining Wizard.

This Week In Wrestling History: Andre the Giant knocked out Gorilla Monsoon in a boxing match.

Here’s Mr. Kennedy to bid farewell to Undertaker. There is a black wreath in the ring as Kennedy talks about how this is a tribute. Undertaker has taken on and beaten some of the all time greats and we see a video package on his career. All of those accolades leave him with nothing to prove though, which makes Kennedy feel bad about No Mercy. He doesn’t want to end Undertaker’s legacy, so he certainly doesn’t want to face him at Wrestlemania.

Therefore, as a man of good conscience, he cannot wrestle Undertaker at No Mercy. Cue Undertaker and, after about a five minute entrance, he promises to show no mercy and make Kennedy rest in peace. Then Kennedy goes to hit him with the microphone but it blows up in his hand to send him running.

King Booker’s Court is ready to make John Cena, Batista and Bobby Lashley hail the king tonight.

Commercial for Eric Bischoff’s Controversy Creates Cash book.

Miz vs. Tatanka

Miz sings his version of Sexy Back on the way to the ring. JBL: “I hate him.” Tatanka whips him into the corner to start but Miz gets out to the apron. A slide between the legs lets Miz hit the warpath as JBL makes every Native American joke he can think of in the first minute. Miz’s Russian legsweep gets two but Tatanka is back with his own for one. Now it’s Tatanka going on the warpath but Miz rolls him up with trunks for the fast win.

Rating: D+. The best thing about the way they are pushing Miz is he is racking up wins while not overstaying his welcome. I don’t think any of his matches have gone more than about five minutes or so and he is out there almost every week. Keep him warm, give him something to do and build him up a bit. This isn’t rocket science and what they’re doing is working well for an early stage.

Teddy Long is proud about last week’s debut being the second highest viewed show among adults on Friday night. Next week, Bobby Lashley and King Booker will pick each other’s poisons and you can find out their picks over the weekend on WWE.com.

Jimmy Wang Yang is a redneck and ready to face Sylvan.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Sylvan

Yang has the Confederate flag on his vest (JBL: “Who is he sponsored by? George Wallace?”) and comes out to I Might Have To Punch Someone Tonight. Sylvan hits him in the face to start but walks into a headscissors into a dropkick. A toss sends Sylvan out to the floor for a crash as Cole compares Yang to Dick Murdoch to needle JBL in a funny bit.

JBL: “I hate you. I hate everyone in the ring. The referee is Canadian so I hate him too.” Yang jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock and hammers away, including a spinwheel kick. Sylvan catches a charge in the corner though and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case tonight, not much in the way of a match but at least the JBL rants were funny. Yang losing doesn’t matter in the slightest as he is nothing more than a goofy one note character who was never going to be a big star. Sylvan isn’t either, but that reaction in Montreal last week probably earned him one more win, which is fine.

Vito says it’s the man that makes the dress.

MVP has signed with Smackdown and we get clips from his signing press conference. He debuts at No Mercy.

No Mercy rundown.

King Booker/Finlay/William Regal vs. John Cena/Batista/Bobby Lashley

This does feel like a big match and we see a clip of Cena getting beaten down on Raw during the entrances. It’s a big brawl in the aisle to start before the bell and we take a break. Joined in progress with Batista shouldering Regal in the corner and nailing the spinebuster, which draws Finlay in for an early save. Booker comes in to hammer away on Batista, who is right back with the Jackhammer.

It’s off to Lashley, who gets kicked in the face by Booker. That’s fine with Lashley as he counters a leapfrog into a powerslam to plant Booker for two. Finlay comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press gutbuster but Lashley misses a charge into the post. He’s fine enough to make the tag to Cena and everything breaks down with Cena cleaning house. The STF to Booker is broken up and the Leprechaun slips Finlay the Shillelagh to hit Cena in the bad arm.

We take a break and come back with Regal working on the arm as only Regal can do. The villains take turns working on the arm until Cena suplexes Finlay away. Finlay pops back up with a clothesline though and the armbar goes on again. Another clothesline gives Finlay two and it’s back to Booker, who (after a bit of mistiming) misses the side kick to hit the ropes. Lashley gets the hot tag to clean house as everything breaks down. Batista almost gets caught with the ax kick but Lashley spears Booker down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty long match for a TV main event but it felt like it was something that mattered and that makes up for the problems. Above all else, the star power was here as you had this week’s version of the Super Best Friends against the top Smackdown villains and his cronies. That sounds like an important match and it worked out rather well, even if it was that long.

Post match Edge runs in to spear Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Cena brought the star power to the main event and that’s what mattered the most here, but the rest of the show was a bunch of quick matches (similar to this week’s Raw but not that bad). That made it feel more like a show that wasn’t designed to be a big deal on its own but rather a way to build towards the future. That’s not a bad thing, but it doesn’t make for the most thrilling show.

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Smackdown
Date: September 22, 2006
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re now officially on the way to No Mercy and we even have a main event for the show. Last week Bobby Lashley became the new #1 contender to King Booker, but tonight Booker has to face Vito. That’s what we’re getting on a Season Premiere as the show moves to a new network with the CW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell come in to see Teddy Long. They don’t like that Booker’s hands are going to be sullied by a match with Vito because everything they have is the finest. After a look at Sharmell’s gown, Teddy has good news for them: Vito has stepped aside and Undertaker will face him instead. The accents are dropped in a hurry and panic sets in. So why advertise Vito when you could advertise Undertaker?

New opening sequence, featuring the wrestlers turning into comic book style caricatures.

William Regal/Finlay vs. Batista/Bobby Lashley

Batista wants to start with Finlay but gets jumped by Regal instead. That goes as well as you would expect for Regal, who gets sent into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Finlay runs away from Batista on the floor so Batista settles for a spinebuster to Regal instead. Lashley comes in for a double delayed vertical suplex (not bad) and a snap suplex gets two on Regal. It’s off to Finlay, who gets caught in a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker but a low bridge puts Lashley on the floor.

Regal nails a clothesline and the villains (you know they’re villains because Regal’s trunks say “villain”) take over with Finlay dropping some elbows. It’s back to Finlay, who mocks Lashley for not being able to make the tag and kicks him in the ribs like an evil one would do. Regal’s t-bone suplex gets two as JBL talks about how much he can’t stand the French, Canadians or French Canadians. Regal jumps Batista on the apron so Batista comes in sans tag and cleans house. The Shillelagh is taken away from Regal so Lashley can nail the spear for the pin.

Rating: C. Nicely done here as they give Lashley a bit of a boost and let Batista vs. Finlay stay on the burner, likely for a showdown at No Mercy. They didn’t have much time here but the formula can work out well in short bursts too so this worked out fine. Good choice for an opener on the new network too, with a star like Batista and a hard hitting fight to give Lashley some nice exposure.

Here’s Layla, who promises to make Smackdown hot and dances a lot. Cue Krystal to say not so fast because she’s the hot one, meaning the brawl is on. Jillian Hall runs in for the save and rips off Krystal’s top. Then she rips off Layla’s top, followed by her own. And we move on.

Long video on Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero being friends/family and then splitting up over Chavo and Vickie Guerrero not liking Rey cashing in on the Guerrero name. Still a totally fair point.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. They go straight at it with Helms being backdropped out to the floor. Back in and Helms slips out of something off the top and snaps Hardy throat first across the top. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and an elbow drop gets the same. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Helms hits what would eventually become the Codebreaker for two more.

Hardy jawbreaks his way out of another chinlock and grabs the Side Effect for two. A moonsault press gets two on more on Helms, who is right back with the Shining Wizard for the same. Helms goes for the turnbuckle pad so the referee puts it back on, allowing Hardy to hit a low blow into the rollup pin (ala Helms last week).

Rating: C. Hardy doing the same thing to Helms as the previous week was a nice touch, but I’m still not sure what the point of this feud is if Hardy can’t (and doesn’t seem interested in) win the Cruiserweight Title. The wrestling was fine enough, but it feels like we’re going in circles here. I know the title doesn’t mean anything, so why is it even a thing at this point?

Miz promises to win his next match.

Jimmy Wang Yang thought about debuting tonight but doesn’t feel very comfortable in Montreal. Not too many rednecks you see, so we’ll do it in Oklahoma next week.

Miz vs. Funaki

They fight over wrist control to start with Miz wristdragging him down. Another takedown sets up a suplex, followed by the Mizard of Oz (which lands in a reverse DDT this time instead of a neckbreaker) to keep Miz undefeated. Keeping Miz short is the right idea at the moment.

Rey Mysterio has had it with the Guerreros and today is the first day of the rest of his life.

Video on the Marine.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Vickie Guerrero is here with Chavo. They start fast again with Rey hammering away to take it to the floor. The fight goes into the crowd with Rey still getting the better of things until his hurricanrana is sent into the barricade. Things go back into the crowd and Rey sends him into the barricade over and over. Rey doesn’t seem to notice that the referee is telling him it’s over and they get back to ringside with Chavo getting kicked in the ribs. Vickie throws Chavo a chair, which Rey dropkicks off his face. Vickie’s interference doesn’t work as Rey hammers away again and referees come in to break it up. I’m not sure this was a match.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match as it was much more of a brawl than anything else, but I want to see these two fight again, which is a lot more than I could say coming in. You could feel the anger and hatred here and that’s the best thing that could happen in a segment like this. Good stuff and I’m sure No Mercy waits for them.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show. I think you can get why she has a job.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Pit Bulls vs. KC James/Idol Stevens

London and Kendrick are defending and Michelle McCool is here with James and Stevens. It’s a brawl to start with James, Kendrick and Noble getting things going. The Pitbulls beat on Stevens and Kash pounds him down for two. Stevens breaks that up and Kash gets knocked down into the corner, including a snapmare for two more.

Kendrick comes back and hammers away, allowing the hot tag off to London to pick the pace way up. A dropkick gets two on Stevens with the Pit Bulls making the save. Michelle gets on the apron for no apparent reason as Kash brainbusters London. Sliced Bread takes Kash down but Stevens hits a heck of a spinebuster on Kendrick. Noble sends him outside and rolls London up, only to get reversed into another rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. As the champs tend to do, they got in and out without wasting time and had a high energy match. They really have become one of the most consistently entertaining things on Smackdown and this should be the blowoff to the three way feud. I’m sure it won’t be because there aren’t any other teams to come after them, but at least they had a nice match here.

Elijah Burke introduces Sylvester Terkay. Sylvester: “I’m Sylvester Terkay.” End of segment.

Video on Batista visiting the Philippines.

Here’s Sylvan to a crazy hero’s welcome and he seems fired up to be here. After saying something in French, we’re ready to go.

Sylvan vs. Tatanka

Sylvan chops away to start but Tatanka comes back with some right hands and is booed out of the building. A backbreaker sets up a chinlock but Sylvan is back with a spinebuster. There’s a dropkick to put Tatanka down again and a spinning belly to back slam gets two more. Tatanka tries a sunset flip but Sylvan sits down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was nothing to see here but WOW that crowd was behind Sylvan. That is the kind of thing that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, but thankfully WWE was smart enough to capitalize on it once. Let the fans have something to cheer and let a scrub like Tatanka take another loss. This was nice to see and I don’t get to say that very often.

John Cena visits Teddy Long and thanks him for the contract offer that was ready had Cena lost at Unforgiven. Long has an idea: Cena visits Smackdown next week and teams with Batista and Bobby Lashley against William Regal/Finlay/King Booker. Cena is in and leaves so Long dances in celebration.

No Mercy rundown with Batista vs. Finlay and Mysterio vs. Guerrero announced.

King Booker vs. Undertaker

Non-title, Sharmell is here with Booker and Mr. Kennedy is on commentary. Kennedy gets freaked out by Undertaker’s entrance and JBL isn’t much better. Undertaker strikes away to start and knocks Booker to the floor early on. We take a break and come back with Undertaker hammering away even more, setting up the knuckle lock lift to have Booker in more trouble. The arm is wrapped around the top rope but Old School is broken up.

A Sharmell distraction lets Booker grab a superplex and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Booker knocks him outside for a ram into the steps, followed by a DDT for two. The side kick misses though and Undertaker hits a jumping clothesline. Snake Eyes into the big boot gets two but Booker is back with the jumping kick to the face. Undertaker is right back to load up the Tombstone but Booker slips out and hits a low blow for the DQ.

Rating: C. As has been the case almost all night, this was all about making an appearance rather than the match itself. Undertaker being in the ring is still a treat and it was a good idea to have him on a special show. These two haven’t always had the best chemistry but they weren’t out there very long and it’s not like the bad finish came after a pay per view title match.

Post match here’s Bobby Lashley to throw Booker back inside, meaning it’s a chokeslam and Tombstone. Undertaker stares down at Kennedy to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where the wrestling did not really matter but the presentation was very good. For a season premiere on a new network, they did a great job of keeping things moving and having all of the big names come in and out throughout the show. They set up things both for the pay per view and next week so some fans might want to come back again. I don’t get impressed by WWE very often but they did a rather nice job here and that’s great to see.

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Great American Bash 2006
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 9,750
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for a Smackdown pay per view and the card is actually pretty stacked. This time around the main event is Rey Mysterio defending the World Title against King Booker, but we also have a Punjabi Prison match between Undertaker and Great Khali, plus the big Batista pay per view return. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how everyone has freedom because of America before switching into a look at the show’s biggest matches. Standard but safe theme.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Pit Bulls

The Pit Bulls are challenging as JBL goes on a rant about having to sit next to the Spanish commentary team. Kash and London brawl to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. The rather rough lockup goes on as commentary talks about the famous teams to wrestle at the Great American Bash over the years. Kendrick comes in off the top but gets caught n the corner, with Noble sending him face first into the buckle.

An armbar takes Noble down though and the champs take turns coming off the top and onto Noble’s arm. Noble manages to send London hard into the buckle but London and Kendrick are right back up with stereo suicide dives to the floor. Back in and a double shoulder gets two on Kendrick, meaning it’s time to rake his face. Noble misses a charge though and gets caught in the ropes, setting up the hot tag to London to clean house.

London gets sent over the ropes though and Skinning The Cat is broken up with a hard dropkick to the floor. Back in again and we hit the chinlock with London not even bothering to stay down very long this time. Kash comes in to choke on the ropes but has to dive at London’s legs to cut off the tag.

London kicks him into Noble for the knockdown though, allowing the hot tag to Kendrick. The pace picks up in a hurry as everything breaks down. Kendrick hits some running dropkicks and the big dive to the floor takes Noble out. Back in and Kash can’t hit the Dead Level, allowing Kendrick to try a top rope sunset flip. He can’t get Kash over, so London adds the Dropsault to knock Kash down, giving Kendrick the cradle pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was as good of a choice of an opener as they had with both teams looking pretty awesome and flying all over the ring, which is a great way to start the show. London and Kendrick can do that style all day and the Pit Bulls are able to hang in there just as well. Heck of an opener here, and hopefully something can hang with it tonight.

Great Khali wants to do something but Daivari wants to know why it has to be now. Daivari is promptly lifted up into the air, leaving his feet flailing away.

Here’s Teddy Long to say that Bobby Lashley can’t compete tonight because he has elevated liver enzymes. Cue Lashley to say to say he’s fine and wants to fight tonight. Teddy says he can’t do that because they have to take a long term view of Lashley’s health. When Lashley is healthy though, he can have a title shot.

Lashley walks to the back so here are William Regal and Finlay, who walk around him in a great visual, to talk to Long. Finlay asks Long to lay some skin on him and Regal has a rather wacky handshake. With the hip part out of the way, Finlay doesn’t buy the liver enzymes theory but wants Teddy to name him the winner by forfeit. Not so fast though because Long has another idea.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

Finlay is defending and JBL goes into a great rant about how he and Ron Simmons drank forever but they never had bad livers. Hold on as wants to check underneath the ring for the Leprechaun. Finlay goes after him and gets hit in the face to start fast. They lock up and head to the floor without letting go before walking up the steps and back inside, again without letting go.

Back in and Regal takes him down by the leg but Finlay flips his way to freedom. A hard toss to the floor has Finlay in trouble but cue the Leprechaun to hit Regal in the leg with the Shillelagh. Regal backs into him and runs away screaming, allowing Finlay to start the exchange of uppercuts. Regal gets the better of things but goes after the Leprechaun again, allowing him to bite Regal’s fingers.

Finlay goes for the leg but gets taken down into a chinlock for his efforts. That’s broken up in a hurry so Finlay sits on his ribs, followed by a chinlock of his own. That doesn’t last long either so they run into each other for a double knockdown. It’s Regal up first with a dropkick of all things for two, followed by a knee drop for the same.

The fans call it boring, with Cole trying his darndest to say it’s because they want to see Lashley. Regal gets tied up in the ring skirt and comes up minus a boot, meaning it’s time for Finlay to stomp on his toes like a villain should. The referee is confused so Regal grabs the Shillelagh, only to have the Leprechaun slip in the boot. A shot to the head and a rollup (with feet on the ropes because of course) retains Finlay’s title.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a classic but calling this boring is quite a bit too extreme. It was a different style and I can understand the fans not getting into it, but boring was too far. These two have probably had a match like this a hundred times (ok maybe minus the Leprechaun) and you could see how much fun they were having.

Post match the Leprechaun steals the title so Finlay has to kick him back underneath the ring.

Chavo Guerrero gives Rey Mysterio a pep talk and brings up Eddie Guerrero a few times. I think you know where this is going.

Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Hardy is replacing Super Crazy, who was also enzymed (Crazy was never announced for the title match but they weren’t hiding it on Smackdown). Matt drives him into the corner and then armdrags him back out as the fans are behind Hardy here. There’s a headlock takeover to the mat but Helms is right back up, only to have Hardy strike the Hurricane pose. Helms gets sent outside and taken out for a dive, which is good for two back inside.

A quick neck snap across the top rope sets up a running neckbreaker for two on Hardy, followed by a regular neckbreaker for the same. The chinlock goes on but Hardy is back up, meaning Helms has to clothesline him right back down. Helms goes up to mock Matt’s yelling elbow, allowing Matt to punch him out of the air (I wonder what gave Matt the hint). Matt hits a Russian legsweep but takes too long loading up a superplex.

The delay lets Helms nail a super swinging neckbreaker for two, as Matt has to put his foot on the rope. Helms changes things up a bit with a double underhook on the mat with some knees to the face, but Matt fights up again with the Side Effect. There’s the running bulldog out of the corner for two but the Twist of Fate is countered into another hard takedown.

Helms’ running enziguri gets two so he takes Matt up top. The superplex is broken up though and Matt nails a moonsault press, followed by the top rope elbow to the head for his own two. With nothing else working, Matt hammers away in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the turnbuckle. Helms grabs the rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: C+. This worked out well, which isn’t surprising given how well they know each other. Matt wasn’t the most logical replacement, but he’s a lot more interesting than Super Crazy or Psicosis. It would be nice to have had the title on the line, but it’s not like the thing has meant anything in….years really.

Khali is heading towards the ring and doesn’t want to hear from Daivari. Cue Undertaker to throw Daivari aside and go after Khali, only to have Big Show pop up to jump Undertaker. The beatdown is on until referees come in to get rid of the giants.

We recap Great Khali vs. Undertaker. Khali destroyed Undertaker at Judgment Day but now Undertaker is back to fight him in the huge rematch. We’ll throw it in the Punjabi Prison, which hasn’t actually been explained coming into the match. On the way here, Undertaker has had to deal with Big Show and Khali, who have beaten him up more than once.

Daivari, Big Show and Khali run into Teddy Long, who puts Show into the Punjabi Prison instead. Why? No reason given, meaning JBL’s rant about how unfair this is makes sense. And yes, Khali was enzymed as well.

Big Show vs. Undertaker

Non-title and inside the Punjabi Prison. The ring is surrounded by a bamboo cage, but then there is another around the ring to keep them locked up even more than usual. The inner cage has four doors which can be opened, but only for one minute each for the entire match. Once they are locked back, they cannot be opened again, though you can still climb over. There are spikes over the top of the outer wall to prevent anyone from escaping. However, you have to escape that one as well, with the first one escaping to the outside winning.

Show goes after him to start and pounds Undertaker down in the corner, meaning the TAKER chants start up in a hurry. Undertaker strikes away but gets knocked into the cage wall for his efforts. Show charges into a boot though and it’s time to start kicking away at the leg. That’s enough to let Undertaker climb but he gets cut off by the spikes. The delay lets Show catch him on top and drive him into the corner, followed by a hard running clothesline.

Back up and Undertaker sends him into the wall, setting up the running hip attack to knock Show into the cage again. Show grabs a chokeslam attempt, only to get DDTed down. Undertaker asks for the first door to be opened but Show beats him down until the clock runs out. With Undertaker down, Show pulls one of the straps off of the wall (because there are leather straps on the wall). Instead of using it though, Show pulls the turnbuckle pad off, allowing Undertaker to strike away.

The jumping clothesline drops Show and Old School connects, only to have Show knock him down again. The second door is opened, with Undertaker cutting Show off just like Show did to him. That’s enough for the clock to run out so Show hits Undertaker in the face to draw some blood. Show pounds away at the cut before going up, only to get caught with a low blow. The superplex brings Show back down and Undertaker is able to get through the third door.

That door closes so Show goes out of the fourth and catches Undertaker climbing the outer cage. For some reason JBL calls this Undertaker being done and seeing his legend end. I’d guess because he’s kind of into hyperbole. Show gets smart (oh dear) by throwing Undertaker back inside the inner cage before time expires. Undertaker is fine enough to climb the inner cage and step over to the outer one, making that whole RAZOR SHARP SPIKE deal seem pretty stupid.

Show pulls him back down, so Undertaker lays him out again and drops a leg. Now Show is busted open as well and appears to be near tears. Cue Daivari and Khali through the crowd as Undertaker climbs the inner structure and dives onto Show, sending them through the cage. Undertaker falls outside first and that’s enough for the win, meaning JBL suddenly remembers Undertaker is AWESOME.

Rating: D. They were held down by the last minute change here as this would have been better suited for Khali, but sweet goodness imagine how bad he would have been in this thing. The problem is that Undertaker and Big Show do not have the best matches under normal circumstances and this was a messy version of the cage match. I don’t dislike the idea, but they got too complicated for their own good here and it hurt things a lot. That and there is only so much you can do in a rather crazy match like this one.

Sharmell says Booker can become King of the World if he wins tonight. Booker’s accent gets stronger and stronger every week.

Kristal vs. Michelle McCool vs. Ashley vs. Jillian Hall

Bra and panties and the first woman to strip someone else wins. The double catfight is on to start with Jillian chasing Michelle around the ring. That leaves Kristal to take Ashley top off but Michelle comes in. Jillian jumps her but Kristal ties Jillian in the Tree of Woe. That lets Michelle rip the top off as JBL laughs at Cole for talking about the athletic ability. Ashley and Jillian rip the skirts off of Michelle and Kristal but Michelle has a second skirt on for protection. Jillian is back up and jiggles a lot before shoving Kristal’s face into her chest. With Jillian grabbing Kristal’s legs, Ashley rips Kristal’s top off for the win.

Rating: D. I think you get the idea here and they served their purpose well. There was almost nothing resembling wrestling in the whole thing and that is completely understandable. Watching this was a lot easier than watching them try to have a match, but it was pure eye candy and filler after the big match. Just more of the same from the Smackdown women.

Post match Ashley and Jillian de-pants each other. JBL: “WHERE’S THE HOT TUB??? SOMEBODY GET MISS TEXAS AND MY BLACK AMERICAN EXPRESS!”

Miz interviews Mr. Kennedy, who thinks it’s impressive that Batista is getting in the ring with him. Mark Henry didn’t get to beat Batista but Kennedy will. Miz loves the double “KENNEDY” line. It’s hard to fathom that Miz would blow away Kennedy’s accomplishments but that’s wrestling for you.

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

This was billed as a #1 contenders match on Smackdown but there is no mention of it here. Batista jumps him from behind so Kennedy pokes him in the eye to get away. That just makes Batista knock him to the floor, with Kennedy being busted open early off a ram into the steps. Some right hands don’t do much to Batista but his right hands send Kennedy (who is rather bloody) bailing.

The head fake doesn’t work though as Batista spears him down, only to have Kennedy get in another cheap shot. Some shots to the face and a clothesline put Batista down and there’s a running boot in the corner. Kennedy takes it outside for a ram into the steps and puts on an armbar back inside. Since it’s an armbar, Batista is right back up to send Kennedy shoulder first into the post. Batista chokes in the corner long enough for the DQ.

Rating: D+. They started well (that blood looked good) but then it turned into Kennedy having nothing to hang with Batista. This felt like the kind of match you put Batista in to make it clear that he was on the show and nothing more. The match didn’t make Batista look good and Kennedy was busted open and beaten down by the end, leaving this as just ok at best. That being said, it’s another case where they had no reason to be fighting so they did what they could here.

We recap King Booker vs. Rey Mysterio. Booker won the King of the Ring to gain the crown and went a bit nuts as a result. He has the King’s Court helping him though and won a battle royal to become #1 contender. Mysterio’s title reign is still a complete mess and it seems to be a matter of time before he finally drops the thing to anyone else. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Booker, with Sharmell, rides out on a throne. They take their sweet time with the entrances here and it feels like they’re filling in time. Cole calls Mysterio a great American and JBL is just done with him, going into a crazed rant about how horrible Mysterio is. Feeling out process to start with Booker kicking him down and unloading with chops in the corner. Rey is right back with a knockdown of his own and a running legdrop gets one.

Commentary is in an argument over socialism as Booker elbows him in the face and grabbing a hammerlock. A flying mare gets Rey out of trouble but Booker takes him back into the corner for some right hands. Booker misses a charge into the post though and the top rope seated senton to the floor puts him down. Back in and the springboard splash gets two on Booker, who is right back with a sidekick for a near fall of his own. Sharmell even gets in a rake to the eyes to keep Rey in trouble and Booker adds another kick to the face.

The armbar still doesn’t work though and Booker has to send him into the corner to cut off a comeback attempt. Booker goes evil with the Three Amigos but misses the ax kick. It’s too early for a 619 so Rey tries it again, only to be tripped by Sharmell. That’s enough for an ejection so Booker hits a clothesline for two. Booker goes to the middle rope to dive into the raised boots and they’re both down, with Booker holding his knee.

A pop up hurricanrana sets up the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Booker. Rey hits a DDT for the same but the referee gets bumped. The springboard seated senton sets up the 619 into the frog splash but there is no referee. Booker uses the chance to hit a blow blow and the Book End, allowing him to grab a chair. Rey dropkicks it into his face so here’s Chavo Guerrero with his own chair….to knock Mysterio silly. The referee is back in and Booker steals the title.

Rating: C+. It was a good midcard match but this didn’t feel like a World Title pay per view main event. That being said, there was zero reason to consider keeping the title on Mysterio at this point and Booker was the best choice to take the title. Granted I would hope that they could come up with something more interesting than Chavo Guerrero to get rid of him, but the ending was the right call.

A lot of ALL HAIL KING BOOKER’s and some tears take us out.

Overall Rating: C-. This show started off well and then collapsed in a hurry. As usual, it’s a brand exclusive B show so there is only so much that you can get out of the whole thing. Then when you factor in the amount of changes that had to be made due to the enzymes, the show was running with a big anchor. It could have been a lot worse, but thank goodness those early matches were as solid as they were or this could have been in serious trouble.

 

 

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