Thunder
Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?

Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera

Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.

Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.

Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.

The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.

General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.

Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.

Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.

Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.

David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall

Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.

The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.

Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.

Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.

Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.

Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.

Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.

Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak

Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.

Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.

Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.

Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.

Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.

Vito comes in to break up the hold.

Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.

Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.

Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.

After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.

Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.

The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.

Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon

Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.

Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.

Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.

They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.

Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.

The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.

WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.

Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.

Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.

Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett

Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.

High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.

Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.

Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: July 26, 2000
Location: Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, West Virginia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden

The Russo style is back in full force, meaning it’s time for this show to fall through the floor all over again. We’re coming up on New Blood Rising and other than the main event, it’s hard to say what kind of nonsense is going to take place there. These shows are starting to make less and less sense every week but you have to expect that when a nitwit is on top. Let’s get to it.

The Cat is standing by his limo when the Jung Dragons attack, this time with a sledgehammer. Yang smashes the window by mistake and Smooth the limo driver freaks out. Cat gives him a 3-1 match later tonight.

3 Count vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio

Evan is out with a knee injury but before we get going, Tank wants a dance contest against Konnan and Disco. It’s just a ruse though and the fight is on quickly. Shannon gets two on Rey off a springboard cross body but here are the Jung Dragons to interfere. We settle down to Juvy…..possibly countering a German suplex. He was supposed to flip over and land on his feet but didn’t get all the way over, making it unclear if he got hurt or not.

Rey springboards in with a clothesline for two as Tony talks about Latino style being very hot in popular music. Shannon drops Rey with a sleeper drop for two but the Animals come back with something like What’s Up, only with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. Everything breaks down and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combination gets two on Rey, only to have Shannon take the Juvy Driver and 450 for the pin.

Rating: C+. So we have these two fun teams but we’re getting people like the Perfect Event in the title match. The Animals may be incredibly annoying but at the same time they can still go this well in the ring. On top of that, why are none of these guys going after the Cruiserweight Title? Why are we stuck with the nonsense we’ve had to see for all these months? We’ll go with “because WCW” and move on.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He doesn’t like Goldberg but after Monday he has to respect him. However, Goldberg needs to save the trauma (yes trauma) for his mama. These are his people here and he’ll die in this ring to defend his title. Cue Jeff Jarrett to say he wants a lights out, unsanctioned match against Booker tonight with the title NOT on the line to protect Cat’s pay per view main event. The fight is on and Tony says there’s no holding them back as security holds them back. So we have Goldberg, Scott Steiner and even Kevin Nash waiting to challenge Booker but we’re getting Jeff Jarrett? Really?

Post break Cat makes the match but threatens to beat up Booker and Jarrett if they don’t calm down.

Miss Hancock wants to arm wrestle Major Gunns tonight.

The Artist vs. Skip Over

That would be Elix Skipper and for reasons I’ve never been able to explain, I’ve always been a big fan. Artist superkicks him at the bell as Tenay calls Skip part of the new blood (not the New Blood of course). Over spin kicks Artist in the face and hits a nice looking missile dropkick. Artist grabs a northern lights suplex for two of his own, followed by an Angle Slam.

Since this is a meaningless match against a rookie, Artist needs a chair. Skip baseball slides it into his face but Artist pops right back up. Paisley tries to hand him the chair but Kwee Wee comes out to lure her away. So much for that idea. Back in the ring, the chair has disappeared and Over takes Artist down with a springboard spinwheel kick. The Overdrive (That ridiculous spinning Fameasser thing. I’m still not sure how that’s supposed to be a finishing move.) gives Over the upset.

Rating: D+. Fun little match here but as usual it’s bogged down by all the other stuff going on at the same time. The Paisley/Kwee Wee stuff needs to go somewhere already. Not that it’s been a long, drawn out story but more along the lines of the faster that happens, the faster we can get Artist off TV.

MIA is in the back and Gene looks at Major Gunns’ chest. See it’s funny because he’s old.

Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by the ear so they can go find the Cat. I guess this is supposed to be funny too.

M.I. Smooth vs. Jung Dragons

As usual, Mark keeps saying “last night” to refer to Monday, as in two days earlier. During the entrances, Tony says Goldberg can’t make his scheduled appearance. Instead: Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. Oh I’m sure the fans are going to be thrilled. Like all three of them who show up. Smooth is in a shirt and tie and the Dragons stomp him down for three straight near falls. Jamie and Kaz are sent to the floor, leaving Smooth to powerslam and full nelson bomb Jamie for the pin.

So let’s stop for a second here and look at what we’re supposed to just accept here: Smooth, a non-wrestler (yes I know he was Ice Train but that’s never mentioned here) just happened to debut here, wore street clothes, had theme music, knew wrestling moves, and beat a team in a featured pay per view match completely clean in under two minutes.

We’re supposed to just go with this and then pay to see the Dragons, who are more guys who should be in the Cruiserweight Title hunt, at New Blood Rising. You can blame a lot of things for WCW going under, but this is the kind of thing that really should be near the top of the list. These things happened WAY too often around here and the fans are just supposed to go with them. At some point the fans are going to get tired of having their intelligence insulted and watch something else. WCW reached that point a long time ago and it’s a big reason why they’re not around today.

The Bagwells come into Cat’s office and Judy says she can be the solution to the ratings problem. Cat gives her the match she wants, whatever that is. Another reason this company is a mess right now: middle aged women coming in off the street and talking about ratings like they’re something people discuss in casual conversation. I write about wrestling for a living and I barely discuss ratings with my wrestling friends, let alone some random person I strike up a chat with at Wal-Mart. As usual, Russo and Ferrara or whoever is writing this show has no idea how normal people talk in real life and it sounds really awkward.

It’s time for arm wrestling and I’ll let you fill in most of the details here. Hancock is in a red shirt here and takes off the jacket for a change. David Flair is guest referee for the sake of comedy and makes sure to cheat to help Hancock win. Gunns freaks out so Hancock sprays hairspray in her face. There goes Gunns’ top but the Wall, now in MIA gear, comes out to chokeslam Flair. He talks to the blind Gunns and says “it’s me, it’s me” (that D-O-Double G?) to calm her down.

Kanyon says he needs to find a Kimberly. Judy is feeling the BANG tonight though.

The MIA rename the Wall as A-Wall (that’s actually kind of clever) and shave his head.

Muta and Vampiro have beaten down Kronik.

Great Muta/Vampiro vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

This is the result of Muta and Vampiro issuing an open challenge. O’Haire starts with Muta and takes him down with a dropkick off those long legs of his. Vampiro and Jindrak fight on the floor before coming in, which I guess counts as a double tag in this match. Jindrak kicks him in the face and brings Sean back in for a clothesline.

It’s already back to Jindrak so Muta comes in and kicks him a few times before officially coming in off the tag. The refereeing sucks around here. The heels pound away on Jindrak for a bit until he snaps off a powerslam and tags in Sean to clean house. Muta will have none of that and snaps off a dragon screw legwhip before twisting on the knee to make Sean tap. Too short to rate but it was energetic while it lasted.

Post match Demon comes out to help with the beatdown but Kronik makes the save and hurts people.

Judy puts Buff in a room and tells him to stay there. What in the world did Buff do to deserve this story?

Big Vito wants a rematch with Lance Storm.

Judy Bagwell vs. Kanyon

After Judy comes out to Buff’s pyro and Madden reminds us that she used to be a World Tag Team Champion (gah), Kanyon says he’s Diamond Cut her already. Tonight though, it’s going to be the Kanyon Cutter so Judy needs to leave before this gets bad. The match starts and it’s a bunch of shoving and slapping until Kanyon grabs her for the Kanyon Cutter. This brings out Buff, who is told to stay in the aisle or his mom gets hurt. Kanyon wants a match at New Blood Rising and if Judy wins, she’s Kanyon’s Kimberly. Buff agrees and the camera cuts away as Kanyon lays her out (thanks to TBS).

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about the G-rated tape from Monday.

Kidman has another tape.

Kanyon is driving away, gets out and Kanyon Cuts a guard, then leaves. Funniest thing on the show by about a mile so far.

Here are Torrie and Shane with Torrie being annoyed at Kidman for what he did on Monday. Torrie: “Do you know what kind of a position you put me in?” Shane says play the new tape and it’s the two of them sitting on a bed. Shane apologizes over and over again for “performance issues” and they storm out of the ring.

Storm says he’ll give Vito a Hardcore Title match with no weapons allowed.

Shane leaves to get some air when Kidman comes up to laugh at Torrie. This is of course stupid and Shane beats Kidman down.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Vito is challenging and jumps Storm during O Canada, sending Madden into hysterics again. The usual low level offense sends Storm outside and it’s a superkick and kind of fall away slam for two on the champ. A good looking top rope elbow gets two for Vito and the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Vito with a chair for two. Vito comes right back with a German suplex and clothesline but Storm calmly grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission to retain. Again too short to rate but Vito comes off as a guy who tries when he’s out there.

Awesome runs in and lays out Storm.

Just like last week with Nash, here’s a sitdown interview with Goldberg. First up is Hall blaming Goldberg for Scott Hall being gone but Goldberg really doesn’t care what Nash says. The Outsiders wanted Goldberg on their side because they knew he was going to be a big deal. Nash has no appreciation for the fans but Goldberg does everything he does for the fans. As a heel remember. Hudson: “For the last few months you’ve played the heel for World Championship Wrestling.” Goldberg says he hasn’t been comfortable with it because that’s not who he is.

Someone thought turning him heel was a good idea that might help the ratings but it’s totally against what Goldberg is. With his eyes bugging out but in the same voice, Goldberg wants to refute what Nash said last week. The last thing he thought he was going to do was be a wrestler because he wanted to be a pro football player. Now he has a chance to give back to the fans. He can shake a sick kid’s hand and give them a smile which is worth more than anything else he could get. Goldberg: “Nash is right. I don’t love this sport.”

Hudson calls the work with the kids paying his dues. Goldberg says Nash has “paid his dues” for fifteen years and he won’t ever be in the spot Goldberg reached in three years. Amen brother. Goldberg brings up Nash breaking the Streak two weeks after Nash got on the booking committee. Hudson brings up the three way at New Blood Rising and Goldberg says his immediate goal is to make Nash suffer for all the damage Nash has done to his career.

What Goldberg is doing right now is taking one for the team instead of what he wants to be doing. When a promoter is looking at a card, he doesn’t care about paying dues because it’s all about who is going to draw the most money. All it means is that he’s the right character and the right person to see this through. Hall and Nash didn’t pop the business like he and Hogan did. Hogan, Flair and Arn Anderson made this business what it is today. I love Arn but that’s more of a stretch than I can handle.

The only way Nash is winning in Vancouver is to put himself back on that booking committee because Goldberg is going to kill him. Nash saying he doesn’t care what the bookers say sounds like a challenge because Nash can’t run away on those old knees of his. Goldberg recommends ice and Advil because Nash is going to need them. That wraps things up with no mention of Booker T. and Monday’s match whatsoever.

…….WOW. Just like last week, this would have been one heck of a shoot interview. If this had been from RF Video or something like that, it would be really entertaining to listen to. The problem is THIS IS A MAJOR WRESTLING SHOW. Think back with me to CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb. Punk ranted about how Cena was just an act and how he was being held back, but it was all building to a wrestling match, not some scripted deal where they may or may not do what the bookers (more on that in a second) told them to do.

This brings us to the big problem that was there last week: how many fans knew what was going on? Serious question: how many fans watching this heard the word “booker” and thought they were talking about Booker T.? I know it sounds stupid today but is it really that much of a stretch?

This is more of Russo trying to make himself sound smart and thinking that EVERYONE is on Meltzer’s mailing list in July 2000 because he reads that stuff every five minutes. This probably went over the heads of 98% of fans and it’s really annoying to sit through these ten minute interviews to set up a match that is going to suck because Nash is involved and can barely do anything. But hey, they’re WORKING US and that’s what matters, even if no one but them cares.

Madden: “So no matter what the creative committee tells Nash, Goldberg and Steiner, they’re just going to do what they want?” Oh screw off WCW. Good grief man. Like I said: Punk vs. Cena came together in a wrestling match, not some thing where they were going off script. Mainly because THEY NEVER SAID THEY HAD A SCRIPT because that’s the stupidest thing you can do in a wrestling promotion.

Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Non-title and anything goes. Jeff has a Sting style trench coat on for no logical reason. Cat is on commentary and says he’s not Commissioner at this point, though he insists Madden call him Commissioner. This is billed as a Bunkhouse Brawl because we’re all cowboys who love to ride horses. They brawl into the crowd to start with Booker in control until Jeff hits him in the head with a shovel. Tony tries to call it but Cat cuts him off to announce Sting vs. Booker T. for the title on Monday.

Amazingly enough Booker isn’t dead after BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL so Jeff puts him in a wheelbarrow and rams him into the barricade. Back in and Booker chokes with a bullrope but Jeff hits him in the face with….something made of metal. A middle rope guitar shot misses (Tony: “This pales in comparison to being hit in the head with a shovel.” I actually stopped the video and shouted “WHAT???” at the screen when Tony said that. Ignoring that it’s a breakaway guitar, METAL IS A LOT HARDER THAN WOOD YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) but Jeff starts choking with the bullrope.

Cat stays on his ratings kick as Jeff chokes Booker with a rope for two arm drops. Booker fights up and hits the spinning forearm as Tony admits that Booker is a superhero. The ax kick and a Spinarooni connect but Jeff guitars the bad knee and puts on the Figure Four with Booker hanging over the apron. Booker passes out from the pain. Well in theory at least as he was still conscious and didn’t say he gave up but the referee stopped it anyway.

Rating: D. It’s not often in my life as a fan that I’m disgusted by how stupid something is but that’s what happened here. This was giving away what wasn’t going to be an interesting main event in the first place and having them use a bunch of weapons before we get the boring version in a few weeks. Oh and make sure the champion loses because that’s going to draw interest in the rematch.

I looked at Jeff after the match and my goodness the level of not caring went through the roof. He’s just so uninteresting in this role and unfortunately we’re stuck because Russo, the undisputed king of insanity and over the top booking, thinks the most generic heel in forever is worth pushing on top.

Overall Rating: F. Let me make this clear: there was good stuff on this show. The opener was fun and some of the Kanyon stuff was amusing. If you take those parts on their own, you would have had a pretty entertaining show and WCW would have come off looking a lot stronger than they did coming into this week. However, there was a lot of other stuff this week too.

I know I often talk about WCW acting like its fans are stupid. However, in this case, it felt worse than ever. This actually felt like they wanted me to be angry at them and walk off, never to watch again. Between the Goldberg shoot, a shovel to the head not putting someone down for more than twenty seconds, Kanyon suddenly wanting Judy Bagwell as his valet, everyone (and their mother in this case) talking about ratings and a man having performance issues, I felt like I was watching the kind of show that non-wrestling fans pretend all wrestling is to make fun of it.

That’s what Thunder and WCW as a whole have become: juvenile, unfunny people making fun of wrestling because they want to laugh instead of trying to take this seriously. This felt like a parody of a wrestling promotion but it still wasn’t funny. What is there on here that makes me want to come back? I’m not seeing it anywhere and I really don’t want to see where things go from here.

It’s not funny anymore and I don’t know why people would think it’s going to get any better from here on out. More than anything else, that makes me sad, because it feels like the people in charge are glad it’s going under because it makes them feel better about whatever is going on in their lives. This really is a case of people treating this place like a playground and not caring at all what happens to anyone as long as they get a good laugh at our expense. Enjoy what you’re getting WCW, because this is all on you.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: July 19, 2000
Location: Breslin Students Events Center, East Lansing, Michigan
Attendance: 5,738
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

This is a rare live Thunder though I can’t imagine it’s going to make the show any better than it usually is. The big story at the moment is Scott Steiner being all insane and breaking various things, only to get beaten down by Kevin Nash, like so many people before him have been. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. As usual, that was the kind of show that flew by so fast that I could barely remember half of it anyway so for once this was helpful.

Harlem Heat arrives. I know I ask this a lot but what is Russo’s obsession with showing people getting out of cars?

Jeff Jarrett is doing commentary tonight. Oh geez. He gets in two slappy’s before he even sits down.

Crowbar vs. Mike Sanders

Sanders is Above Average and had been on Saturday Night all the way back in 1998. Crowbar looks out at the crowd for some reason, allowing Sanders to get in some forearms to the back for an early two. A German suplex sends Sanders flying as the announcers point out Lenny Lane’s huge USE ME sign. Hopefully that makes him put the thing down because it’s really distracting.

They head outside with Sanders stopping a charge with a superkick, followed by a dancing knee drop back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit as the USE ME sign is back. I’m sure the handful of fans that paid for seats behind him (as he goes up and down the row) are thrilled to have their view blocked by a lame angle that isn’t going to go anywhere.

Crowbar gets two off a Lionsault and Daffney adds a Frankenscreamer (is she immune to the no interference policy?) to send Sanders outside. Mike is sat in a chair for a plancha from Crowbar (Jarrett: “What kind of rasslin is that?”) but Daffney’s distraction allows Sanders to steal Jeff’s guitar and knock Crowbar out for the pin. Jarrett: “He won the match with Slapnuts.” So is Slapnuts the guitar?

Rating: C. Sanders will soon find his calling as a talker but this was much more about establishing someone new on the roster. There’s definitely a push of some new talent around this time but it’s so far past too late at this point that it’s only more false hope. Still though, it’s always cool to see someone fresh instead of the same horrible acts that have choked the life out of this company.

Lenny Lane is escorted off by security. Thank goodness.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say but Rick Steiner jumps him from behind before anything can be said. Stevie Ray comes out for the save and Jeff joins in on the brawl until security breaks it up.

Daffney screams a lot and runs off with a chair to find Mike Sanders. For some reason I want to see where this goes.

Lane is being taken away when he runs into the Cat. All the Laniacs (I believe they meet in the same room as the Jericholics) want is their leader back. Cat: “You’re not a leader. You’re a jobber.” For some reason Cat has a pebble in his pocket and says Lane can have a match if he can take it from his hand. Lane takes it away easily so Cat shouts that he didn’t say go. The result: a tables match vs. the Wall.

Here’s new US Champion Lance Storm. After the full Canadian national anthem, Storm gets right to the point by listing off some great US Champions. However, that title is dead because he’s renaming the US Title the Canadian Heavyweight Championship and puts a Maple Leaf sticker on the front.

As the announcers freak out (save for Heenan because he’s Bobby Heenan), Storm demands respect from the fans and asks security to bring in a typical American fan. This means an overweight woman, who Storm rips on for not being in shape. Cue Mike Awesome for the save but Kanyon runs out to try a Kanyon Cutter on the woman. This brings in Buff Bagwell and I’m guessing it’s a tag match later.

Jarrett offers to teach Sanders how to swing a guitar and knocks him cold. So much for Sanders meaning anything.

Miss Hancock has gotten David Flair a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight and promises, ahem, some fun to him if he wins.

Lenny Lane vs. The Wall

Tables match because that’s what Wall does. Wall powerslams him to start and throws Lane across the ring with ease. Lane breaks up a superplex attempt and pounds away in the corner, only to charge into something like a backdrop/hot shot, sending him throat first into the middle turnbuckle. They go outside with Lane going throat first across the barricade before Wall sets up the first table. He takes too long though and gets knocked off the apron and through the table to give Lane his job back…..in his last match with the promotion. Only in WCW.

The Misfits are given their assignments.

Mike Sanders is still getting up (that’s quite the guitar shot) when Daffney comes in and hits him with a chair. “How do you like that rookie?”

Lenny Lane is happy in his locker room (because if you show up with no job, you have a locker room) when Wall comes in. It’s implied that Wall took a dive.

The Filthy Animals sneak into Kronik’s locker room.

Cruiserweight Title: David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco

David is challenging and wearing a suit here. Loco jumps him from behind and gets two off an early side slam. Hancock distracts Loco because……well because she’s Miss Hancock and it’s not that difficult for her to distract someone, allowing David to take over off a suplex. Loco comes right back with basic stuff, including a bunch of chops after ripping off David’s shirt. Hancock tries to bring in a chair but David gets caught in a sunset flip instead. Some cheating backfires as the referee catches Hancock holding David’s hands. Cue Major Gunns to chase Hancock off, leaving Loco to tornado DDT David onto a chair to retain.

Gunns goes to give David mouth to mouth but Hancock starts a catfight. Yep it’s time for this feud.

Cat reinstates Lane and fires Wall for taking a dive. That earns Cat a beating from the big man. Security breaks it up and I’m pretty sure Chris Harris and James Storm could be seen.

Sanders is getting up again when Kanyon runs in for a Cutter. Well if they’re going to treat the guy like a goon, at least it’s funny.

The Jung Dragons beat up the Cat because they finally have an open shot.

Tank Abbott vs. Great Muta

Mike Tenay has had to leave commentary due to some throat issues. Tank forearms a few times but gets kicked down to set up the Power Drive elbow. Cue the Dragons to help with a beatdown so here’s the Cat to help Tank. That earns him some mist to the face, allowing Tank to knock Muta out for the pin. Was Muta REALLY that bored in Japan that he called up WCW and agreed to put over Tank Abbott on live TV?

Major Gunns challenges Miss Hancock to a Rip off the Camouflage (ROTC) match at New Blood Rising. Gene is WAY too happy about this.

Kronik’s locker room has been trashed so they tell a crew member to keep an eye on the door. As soon as they leave, it’s another Kanyon Cutter. He’s getting really good at those things.

Jarrett and Rick Steiner are making plans for the match when Midajah comes in to say she’ll do anything tonight.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals

Disco/Juvy/Rey here in a handicap match with Juvy and Rey coming out in Kronik’s vest coats. Juvy tries to jump Clark from behind as Konnan babbles in whatever language he uses on commentary. I know it’s not English and I know it’s not Spanish but it involves cherries and potatoes. Kronik gets annoyed at the Animals for getting in their way and chases them out to the apron.

Rey comes in and gets to face Adams, which is one of the most backwards face vs. heel dynamics I’ve ever seen. Mysterio springboards into a full nelson slam and Adams throws Disco into him for good measure. The Animals finally take over on Clark with a Bronco Buster but Clark throws Juvy away with ease. Everything breaks down and High Times plants Disco for two (called three by Tony), followed by the powerbomb/top rope clothesline for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Some of Kronik’s offense looked cool here but the commentary from Konnan took away any of the good this match had going for it. Thankfully the Animals aren’t in the Tag Team Title match at the pay per view because it would have been really stupid to have them lose like this. Don’t worry though because I’m sure WCW will find far more stupid things to do in the coming weeks.

Here are Shane Douglas, carrying a bag, and Torrie, with the latter wearing a dress tighter than should be physically possible. Shane pulls out the Stuff Magazine with Torrie inside and asks about her turn-ons listed in the magazine. Apparently she likes seeing her man work out so Shane pulls out a dumb bell and starts lifting, causing Torrie to rub his chest. This brings out Kidman to dropkick Shane but a Torrie distraction lets Shane hit him in the neck with the dumb bell, likely breaking his neck in the process.

We get the Road Report but the guy doesn’t have his phone. Perfect Event comes up to suggest that he use 1-800-CALL-ATT. Problem solved until it’s another KANYON CUTTER for the best fake commercial I’ve seen in a very long time.

The Artist, who can talk now, issues an open challenge to any champion. I think you know what’s coming.

Hardcore Title: The Artist vs. Big Vito

Vito is defending in case you’re a bit slow. They quickly go into a room with Paisley and Kwee Wee watching……I’m guessing a monitor or something. Artist hits him with an ironing board before doing the same to Kwee Wee for no apparent reason. Pink hater. Vito takes over again and brings him down to ringside, only to get hit with a chair a few times. Artist goes with a low blow because good guys are just less bad in WCW.

The Mafia kick and a suplex set up a top rope elbow from the champ and it’s already table time. Vito sets it up in the middle of the ring for the implant DDT…..and the table breaks as they’re standing on it. The fans boo it out of the building as Vito hits him with a trashcan, followed by the DDT to retain.

Rating: D-. So we’re using the lame Hardcore Title match to set up what’s going to be an even worse Kwee Wee vs. the Artist feud. I can kind of understand Russo’s obsession with Jeff Jarrett but I will never get WCW’s love of Artist. The guy just isn’t that good and it shows worse and worse every time he’s in the ring.

Awesome wants to bring one of his women to the ring but Bagwell doesn’t think that’s the best idea.

Positively Kanyon/Lance Storm vs. Buff Bagwell/Mike Awesome

Kanyon during his entrance: “BUY MY BOOK!” We get the Canadian national anthem again until Awesome runs down to clean house. A clothesline puts Lance on the floor and Awesome nails a nice dive to take him down again. Back in and Bagwell beats Kanyon up as Tony recaps Judy Bagwell’s recent problems. It’s off to Awesome vs. Kanyon with Mike coming in via the slingshot shoulder. A nice suplex plants Kanyon again and it’s back to Storm, who walks into an Awesome Bomb.

The Awesome Splash gets two on Kanyon with Storm making the save and everything breaks down. Storm gets the Maple Leaf on Awesome but Buff breaks it up with the Blockbuster. Kanyon makes a quick save though and pulls the ref in the way of a baseball slide. He hits Bagwell with the book (which I’m assuming he reloaded with a fresh brick) and does the same to Awesome, setting up a Kanyon Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but we had to speed through things because we needed to see stuff like the Cat earlier in the night. Storm has somehow been a breath of fresh air for the company despite his character being one of the most boring guys in the history of wrestling. Maybe it’s just that he’s a fresh name or something but he’s working very well here.

Rick Steiner and Jarrett say nothing of note. Jarrett uses the acronym NOFYB.

Cat doesn’t know what that means but is sick of Steiner and Jarrett.

Harlem Heat is ready. Well that’s good for them but it’s time for the real star power.

We get a sitdown interview with Kevin Nash. He thinks the people behind the scenes of WCW are trying to keep Hall out. The only time WCW ever had a spark was when the two of them came down from New York to make the company go somewhere. Hall has been healthy for months now but he’s sitting around because WCW doesn’t want him around.

Nash has seventeen months left on his contract and he’ll honor that deal, but then who knows because it’s not about money anymore. As for Goldberg, WCW gave him too much power too soon. Nash has to keep him in check because he’s never paid his dues and won’t have nine years from now. It’s nice to see guys like Booker make it and he was glad that “they put the strap on him.”

Hudson asks about the three way at New Blood Rising (Nash: “It won’t be a dance.”) which is now a #1 contenders match. Apparently there’s a problem with who is going to come out on top. Nash says he’s coming out on top no matter how the match is booked and he’s not going to lobby for a finish. He’s going over (his words) because he says so and it’s time for him to get his.

These are the kinds of segments that I never know what to say. Nash talking about someone not wanting Hall around was fine because you can pin that on Russo and Bischoff (Is he even still around anymore? I don’t remember seeing him after Bash at the Beach.). Hinting at going to the WWF was even fine, but then you get to him talking about how a match is going to be booked or who is going to go over in a big match because of how the finish was lobbied. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish but I’m sure the internet will be talking about it tomorrow, right Russo?

Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner vs. Harlem Heat

This is the closest we’re going to get to Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners. Cat is out here to make sure things are fair. Booker and Rick start things off with the champ taking over. This brings out Midajah to try to come off the top but Cat calls her down and handcuffs himself to her. Well what did she thing was going to happen with the boss out there and her in bright pink pants?

It’s off to Stevie vs. Jarrett with Jeff getting kicked out to the floor. Back in and Steiner clotheslines Stevie for two and we hit the chinlock after all that grueling work. A belly to back puts Steiner down and the hot tag brings in Booker as house is cleaned. Jeff breaks up the missile dropkick and nails a superplex, only to have Booker tie their legs up for a small package and the pin.

Rating: D+. The Booker comeback was good but Rick Steiner is just killing anything he’s doing at this point. The guy isn’t any good and hasn’t been for a very long time yet for some reason they just won’t get rid of him. Jarrett was Jarrett and Stevie was more energetic than usual but there’s only so much you can do in a five minute main event.

Booker gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Dang they’re on a roll lately. These last few shows have taken out a lot of the nonsense and just let them have their dull wrestling shows. The point though is you can see the stories they’re telling and for the most part, they’re working fine. There’s still a lot of stuff they need to fix but at least there’s some good stuff going here and far less bad, which is the most important thing. Enjoy it while it lasts though because you know this is going to go bad soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6