IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

I feel like I always need to confirm that Impact Wrestling still does pay per views. This is their spring offering, though it isn’t clear who is rebelling against what. Lately the company has been rebelling against the idea of going with anything fresh and it has become a bit of a chore to watch. That being said, their pay per views tend to be much better than television because it’s all about the in-ring product, which is usually an improvement. Let’s get to it.

Knockouts Title: Taya Valkyrie(c) vs. Jordynne Grace

We’ll start off with a match that could go either way as Valkyrie seems like someone they want as a long term champion but Grace is a monster who no one has been able to slow down yet. Now the problem with that is that once she loses, a lot of that momentum goes sailing out the window. I’m also thinking that the show taking place in Canada isn’t going to do Grace’s chances any favors as Valkyrie is of course Canadian.

I’ll take Grace winning though, as it might be a bad night for Valkyrie and her husband. The division has been needing some fresh blood for a long time now and Grace could be it. Let her run some people over for a few weeks or months before losing it back to someone else. Like the best female in the world not working for WWE (or perhaps including that batch) in Tessa Blanchard. But yeah, Grace wins here, as she should.

X-Division Title: Rich Swann(c) vs. Sami Callihan

This story has been more interesting than I would have guessed as Callihan oddly grows on me more and more. Swann is a good choice for the title as he can wrestle that X-Division style, but there comes a point where Callihan has to win something and that hasn’t been the case yet. He’s been chasing the title for a few months now and this might be the night he gets there.

So yeah I think Callihan gets the title here as there’s little reason to not give it to him. You can even go somewhere with the issues between Swann and Willie Mack. It’s a good idea to give Callihan something as he’s going to have suitors and putting a title on him could make him happier. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him move towards the World Title scene sooner rather than later either. For now though, the X-Division Title will do.

Tag Team Titles: Lucha Bros(c) vs. LAX

This is Full Metal Mayhem, which loosely translates to TLC With Pins. These teams have been feuding for months now with LAX dropping the titles and then turning heel, meaning it’s time for a major gimmick match to blow it off. LAX has looked like stars over the last year and getting them against a team like this, one of the best in the world (maybe even the best), has done nothing but good things for them.

I’m basically flipping a coin here but I’ll take the Lucha Bros to retain. We can worry about no one but LAX being on their level later, because this match is going to rock. These four work so well together and the Lucha Bros can turn anything they do into a classic. I’ve been nearly drooling over this match since I first heard about it and that’s not going to change now. It should be great and could go either way but I’ll take the Bros to retain.

Gail Kim vs. Tessa Blanchard

I’ll spare you another rant about Impact’s obsession with Kim and go with how well this match has been built up. The story started months ago but thankfully they’ve waited until the pay per view to actually set it up. As worried as I am about where this match is going to go, the story has been well done and I’m hoping that the match itself is as good as the buildup has been.

As for the winner, I’m going to do something probably not that bright and give Impact Wrestling the benefit of the doubt. I’ll take Blanchard for the win, because there is no reason whatsoever to go with Kim. She’s retired and not likely to wrestle again and Blanchard could be one of the biggest stars in the company very soon. Go with what makes sense instead of giving Kim another tribute that she doesn’t need.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact(c) vs. Brian Cage

Somehow this feud feels like the third (or arguably fourth) biggest match on the show and that’s not a good sign. I haven’t been a fan of this one since it started nearly four months ago and it hasn’t gotten much better. For some reason it just isn’t interesting and I don’t know how much better this match is going to make things. Their match at Homecoming was good, but I need something more to make me care than Impact suddenly turning heel.

I’ll go with Cage winning, because he’s been built up so much that he has to win the title at some point or there’s nowhere for him to go. Now hopefully that means that the story is done between these two, because there is no need for it to stretch on into the summer. The feud hasn’t been very interesting in months and Lance Storm as guest referee isn’t the cure. Cage wins, and I’ll try to make myself care.

Overall Thoughts

And that’s it. Seriously the show has five matches announced and we’re less than forty eight hours away. They’ve also announced a live Smoke Show from Scarlett Bordeaux which will likely set up a sixth match but egads man. How do you only have five matches set up when you had more than two months to get the show ready? I’m sure it will be fine (Impact pay per views always are) but we’re in for a mystery box show and that’s not the most thrilling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Finally.

I’m exhausted just reading the card and that’s a bad sign the day before the show. WrestleMania is supposed to be the top show of the year and the most important thing that happens in the WWE year. The problem is WWE can’t get out of its own way most of the time and I’m worried that they’re going to do it again this year.

As usual, this year is going to be about the moments, and if WWE doesn’t give us enough of them, it’s not going to work. A happy ending (Lynch finally conquering Rousey and holding up both titles) is the right way to go and if Kingston happens to win as well, we’re in good shape. That’s all that matters, but I just can’t imagine WWE actually going in the right direction every single time.

History has been made.

And now we have the truly historic moment in something that I didn’t think would ever actually happen. The women’s match is headlining the show to complete the Women’s Revolution, as they’re finally reaching the unreachable goal. With the history out of the way, we get on to the important part, which is the result itself. It should be an obvious ending….but it’s WWE.

With a close of my eyes and a deep breath, I’ll take Lynch to win in the moment that we’ve been building towards for months now. As much as I could see Rousey winning here and then losing the title in her post-pay per view title defense or Charlotte because SHE’S CHARLOTTE and we need to build towards one more (of many) lynch vs. Charlotte match. I’ll go with Lynch and hope that WWE doesn’t overthink things for once in my life.

A B+ isn’t that bad.

I’ve gone back and forth on this one since before the match was announced and that hasn’t changed yet. We’re at the point now where Kingston either needs to win the title or do something completely different because he has all the momentum in the world right now. Kingston is more than qualified to win the title (period) and it would be the awesome moment if he wins the title.

I’ll take the plunge here and say the title changes hands here, though there’s next to no chance of Kingston making it to the middle of May as champion, which is just fine. The whole point here is the title win, which is the kind of moment that you need on a show like this. Kingston doesn’t need to be a main eventer long term, but being a former WWE Champion sounds just fine.

No more happy ending?

Now we’re down to the final three matches and since it’s WWE, we’re just not getting three happy endings (it’s all about the chase and the heat you see). That makes you wonder which face has to take the fall and you could go with any of the three. Starting here, we have the Royal Rumble winner against Lesnar, who is STILL Universal Champion, as has been the case for almost two years straight now and somehow WWE is cool with that.

And yes I think Lesnar retains the title here, mainly because WWE still thinks he’ll win the UFC Heavyweight Title again and hold up both titles. You know, as has been promised for YEARS now. I’m still not sure how that instantly equals money, but WWE seems obsessed with seeing it happen. I think Rollins falls short here though, as we get another Lesnar vs. Reigns match down the line. Or here, if Lesnar pulls a WrestleMania IX and somehow Reigns gets the title back Sunday. Would it really shock you?

In case it wasn’t clear.

I’ve been pleasantly surprised by this build as Batista has been nearly perfect with being a delusional jerk, which tended to be his strong suit. Triple H’s comedic promo responding to him was good, though completely missing the point of the story so far. With Triple H’s career on the line, you kind of know what’s coming here, again proving that Triple H is the smartest man/best politician in wrestling.

Yeah Triple H wins here because Batista doesn’t need to wrestle again and Triple H can still wrestle an occasional match when necessary. The match itself should be a solid brawl because these two know how to do a street fight style match very well. I’m sure it will be entertaining and get a lot of time (because Triple H) and hopefully they don’t go too long and ruin things.

Expect what should be expected.

This is another match that doesn’t need to be on the show but is anyway because we need to get these eight people, most of whom have been inconsequential in recent weeks, on the show. It should be a nice little nine minute match at most, but the entrances alone will add close to ten mote. I like the Usos but I’d definitely prefer seeing them face the Hardys in an actual dream match.

I’ll actually go with Black vs. Ricochet just to mix things up a little bit. The SmackDown tag team division is dying for some fresh blood and it makes sense to have the newer teams getting the titles. That being said, since it makes sense, the Bar or Nakamura/Rusev are probably the favorites. I’ll take what I want to see, though with very little confidence in seeing it happening.

Or so it seems.

Now here’s one where I’m not sure because it’s not clear who’s going to be in the match. Mysterio is already injured and might not be able to make the match….and it just so happens that John Cena has been rumored for a match on the show, which has just so happened to have Cena vs. Samoa Joe for weeks. As much as I’d like to see Samoa Joe vs. Mysterio, I think you can tell where I’m going.

So yeah, I’m going with the theory that the injury is a work and Cena comes out to challenge Samoa Joe instead. I’ll go with the champ retaining in a surprise, which doesn’t feel right but would be a great way to push him. The problem with putting the title on Cena is that he’d have to lose it, and unless that takes place in the next two nights, I’m not sure I see that happening. Unless…..say to someone debuting on Monday Night Raw or SmackDown Live in a US Open Challenge? But what kind of a Freak would you have to be to do that?

I still don’t know if it makes sense.

I’ll spare you a long rant about how little this story makes sense, or at least how horrible of a job WWE has done at explaining Balor’s use of the Demon. Or how little sense it made to have Balor win the title for a few weeks and drop it back almost immediately. This is the Demon’s debut at Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what to expect from it. I don’t think the match’s result is really in doubt, but the question is how we get to that ending.

Balor will get the title back once and for all, but I’m not sure if it’s in a squash or a competitive match. It’s one thing to have the Demon destroy Corbin at Summerslam but having him do it to Lashley here doesn’t make sense. You don’t squash a monster like that and that leaves a dilemma for Balor. I’m sure he’ll win, but if it’s too competitive then it doesn’t make that much sense.

This could go somewhere.

I’ve been a big McIntyre fan for years now so I’m rather happy with him getting this spot. He’s gotten a lot out of beating Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose so facing Reigns is the most logical next step for him. It’s going to be a hard hitting fight and that’s exactly what a match like this needs to be.

And naturally Reigns wins, because you don’t have your top star come back from leukemia and lose his first match at Wrestlemania. Reigns winning here is fine and McIntyre will get a lot out of just rubbing elbows with him. It’s a good idea and this should be a strong match for both of them. Reigns survives the Claymore and hits a few spears to win as McIntyre gets a rub and Reigns can start gunning for the title again.