Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

That was fun. I really enjoy going back and doing these shows over again as a lot of them have great moments that you forget about over the years. The Rumble is a very unique show as it’s probably the only gimmick PPV that works almost every year. Over the years there have been a lot of gimmick shows like Survivor Series and most of them wind up being terrible at some point. The Rumble has been bad at times to be sure, but there has never been a period where the match wasn’t at least fun in some regard or valuable at the end of the day.

The best Rumbles tend to be the ones that follow the three act structure (dominant midcarder taking over to start, a lot of midcarders and lower guys in the middle, main eventers to wrap things up) with the best ones likely being 2000 and 2001. The comedy spots can help a lot as at nearly an hour, it’s hard to keep things serious the entire time. The only bad thing about it anymore is that it comes right before Elimination Chamber which takes away the feeling of the Road to Wrestlemania. Still though, it’s an excellent series and most are worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, I’ll be releasing the Redo series of that starting on March 10. I hope you enjoyed this as I did and it’s time for Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off an awesome Raw last week so there are good hopes for another solid show tonight. The main stories tonight will be Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar and Cena vs. Bryan as we head towards Summerslam. The key different with these stories is the people have been clamoring for them for months now and we’re FINALLY getting to see them. It’s not some idea that is being shoved down our throats but rather something logical and story driven which is the right idea. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with the contract signing between Cena and Bryan with Maddox as the moderator. Brad wants to know why Cena picked Bryan and Cena says it was because of Maddox. Maddox wanted to listen to the fans and they were all chanting YES. Brad suggests that Cena picked Maddox because it’s an easy win, but here’s Bryan to defend himself. Cena goes into a rant about how it isn’t size that makes a competitor and he picked Bryan as the challenger because he deserved it. If size is what makes a champion, Maddox can hand the title to Great Khali, but Cena has names like HBK, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.

Cena says Bryan is giving him a chance to compete, because Cena is going to fight back. Bryan might be the best right now, but at Summerslam the best isn’t going to be good enough and Cena signs. Bryan signs and starts to talk but Maddox cuts him off. Bryan cuts Maddox off and says Brad doesn’t get to talk when Bryan wants to. Maddox asks Bryan if he deserves this because not everyone thinks he does. Tonight Bryan gets to prove himself in a few matches against opponents to be named.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Non-title again and Sheamus has a BIG bruise on his thigh from MITB. Del Rio kicks him in the bruised leg but Sheamus sends him into the corner for a quick shoulder into the ribs. A neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio but he superkicks Sheamus out of the corner to take over. Sheamus comes back with forearms out of the corner and a snap suplex for two more. Del Rio kicks the leg out again and stomps away as this is still a basic match so far.

The armbreaker across the top rope cranks on Sheamus’ arm but he punches Del Rio to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a German suplex and Sheamus winning a slugout. He hits a series of ax handles to the head and a knee lift for two. Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two and a hard kick to the back keeps Sheamus down.

Alberto misses a charge and gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest followed by the Irish Curse for two. The champion comes back with a running enziguri to knock Sheamus off the top and a superkick to the bad leg. The armbreaker is easily countered but Sheamus’ leg buckles as he goes for White Noise, giving Del Rio the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would due to the psychology. Del Rio working over the arm here would have been idiotic but thankfully he went after the bad leg up until the end and that leg work played into the finish. That’s what I mean when I talk about building on a story and it worked fine here. Also Del Rio actually won a match against a big opponent!

Booker T and Teddy Long bicker over who was more surprised by Vickie being named permanent GM of Smackdown. Teddy suggests that Booker left him holding the bag but Booker says he was out with an injury. Long also suggests that Booker should have been fired if Teddy was getting the job full time.

Christian vs. Titus O’Neal

Christian pops him in the jaw with a right hand but gets caught by a shoulder block. The Canadian’s middle rope cross body is caught in a backbreaker to send him to the floor. Titus picks him up on his shoulder and walks Christian back in the ring for two in an impressive power display. Off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments but Christian fights back with some hard right hands. A jumping back elbow off the middle rope looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian has to dropkick Young to the floor. Titus gets two off a big boot but Christian escapes a slam into the Killswitch for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Titus looked much better here than he has before but unfortunately he appears to be stuck int his jobber role because of being part of a team. It doesn’t help that he’s in his late 30s and got into the sport pretty late in life. Still though, nice performance here and there’s definitely some potential in the guy.

After a clip of him destroying Jericho, Ryback says he enjoys attacking people because he hates average. It seems that we’re dropping the whiner gimmick.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He’s proud of the effort he put into his match with Cena, but he’s not proud of the beating Shield gave him last week. If they want to fight him, he’s right here. Cue Shield to easily destroy Henry until the Usos come out for the save and to send Shield running.

Cena comes up to see Bryan in the back and offer his support in the three matches tonight. Bryan appreciates it but politely declines. Tonight is Bryan’s chance to prove himself and he’s going to win on his own. If Cena comes out there at all, it proves that Cena didn’t mean a thing he said earlier tonight.

Darren Young vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans chant for Ziggler who gets a quick rollup for no cover. A dropkick gets two on Young but he drops Ziggler with a hot shot to take over. Off to a chinlock on Dolph as this appears to be one of those short matches that needs a rest hold for some reason. Ziggler escapes with a jawbreaker and hits a splash in the corner followed by a hard clothesline for two. Dolph gets caught on Young’s shoulders and driven face first into the mat for a close two, but Young spends too much time talking trash and gets caught in the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D. Did we really need a chinlock in a match that didn’t even make it five minutes? Young continues to be as generic as any guy you could pick up off the street, which makes me wonder why that team is still together. Either way this wasn’t interesting at all and it never felt like Ziggler was in jeopardy. With Titus’ match, there was a chance of Christian losing which made it more interesting.

Post match Langston runs out to beat down Dolph but Ziggler beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor.

Here’s a walk through of how to download the WWE App for the idiots in the audience.

It’s time for MizTV with the cast of the Total Divas as the guests. We get a clip of the show with one of the Divas DOING HER HAIR! Miz introduces the cast and then turns it over to Lawler to emcee this nonsense. Eve Marie, one of the new chicks, doesn’t like how Lawler is looking at her and slaps him to make a name for herself. And that’s it.

HHH tells Maddox that he doesn’t care what Vince thinks because Bryan might be the future of the WWE. He didn’t stop Maddox’s decisions earlier because Bryan can overcome anything thrown at him. Maddox needs to pick which train he’s on because one is the future and the other is a dead end. HHH leaves and Stephanie pops in with an idea which we’ll hear about later.

Video on the Wyatt Family so far.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Fandango hitting a shoulder block and dancing a lot. He dances a bit too much and gets caught by a dropkick to send him into the corner. Cody charges into a boot in the corner for one and it’s off to a cravate. Fandango pulls at Cody’s mouth and it’s right back to the cravate. Cody comes back with a right hand and a kick to the low abdomen before loading up a moonsault press which barely connected at all. Sandow tries to interfere but Cody sidesteps a charging Fandango to send him into Damien. The Disaster Kick sets up Cross Rhodes for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but it was nice to see Cody getting a win again. The guy had so much potential a few years ago and it stopped dead for well over a year. Sandow vs. Rhodes is a good way to get Cody back on track and the fans are going to be into it when it happens if it’s done right.

Here’s a limping Punk to talk about Lesnar’s attack last week. Punk says last week he felt Lesnar’s power and took Lesnar’s best shot. He felt the power of Lesnar and has an injured ankle and staples in his head, but he’s still standing here today. Lesnar is a beast who has dominated people like HHH and John Cena because of one thing: fear. It’s not his power or his speed but the fear that Lesnar puts into people that make him so dominant. Punk isn’t afraid of Lesnar’s power, he’s not afraid of Lesnar’s size and he’s not afraid of Brock Lesnar at all.

This brings Punk to Paul Heyman. Punk talks about being a relentless man who is going to keep fighting until Lesnar is left laying like Punk was last week. This is Punk’s ring and he has proven it against John Cena, the Rock and Undertaker. There will not be another beatdown from Lesnar and Punk is going to get his hands on Heyman to make him pay. Brock Lesnar is a monster who was put on this earth to be slayed at CM Punk’s hands and Punk wants to do it at Summerslam in the Best vs. the Beast.

Heyman pops up on screen and talks about the tagline of Best vs. Beast. Punk cuts him off and asks if Heyman is really on satellite, because if he’s really back there then Punk is going to go backstage, drag him out here and destroy Heyman in front of the people of Austin. Heyman talks to Brock off screen and makes fun of Texas before asking Punk if he’s a coward or a fool. Punk says he’ll answer that at Summerslam and wants to know where Heyman is right now so he can take him out tonight. Heyman accepts the challenge for Summerslam and says the Best is the Beast, and Punk will learn that at Summerslam.

Wade Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett takes over to start with a knee lift and a big boot to the face to send Van Dam into the ropes for two. The announcers make stupid jokes about Barrett’s nose as Barrett gets two more off a chinlock. Wade charges into a foot in the corner followed by a top rope kick to set up Rolling Thunder. A top rope front flip gets two for RVD and the Five Star is good for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Barrett getting in some decent offense before taking the loss. I don’t remember anyone falling as far as Barrett has while holding a title as long as he did. He hasn’t won anything close to a big match in months and is nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

This is the first of an undetermined amount of matches for Bryan. Colter says that Stephen F. Austin isn’t the father of this country as he didn’t fight for the right to allow people to chant YES. Bryan isn’t a Real American because he took a handout last week from John Cena and tonight he gets to face a Real American in Swagger. Bryan gets a quick rollup for one but Swagger takes out his leg to put him down.

Swagger pounds on him in the corner but walks into a dropkick to send him to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is countered with a forearm to the face and Swagger drops the Vader Bomb for two. He loads up the Patriot Lock but gets caught in the YES Lock for the first submission at 2:57.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan

This is joined in progress after a break with Cesaro holding Bryan in an armbar. Lawler tells us we need to download the App so we can see action like he’s showing us right now. Cesaro whips Bryan into the corner for two and puts on the standing chinlock. Bryan takes him down and hits the double leg stomp out of the surfboard. Cesaro comes back with a pure power suplex and another hard chinlock but Bryan easily fights up and hits the running clothesline followed by the kicks to the chest. A running dropkick in the corner gets two on Cesaro but Swagger shoves Bryan off the top into the uppercut for two.

Back from a break with Cesaro getting two off the gutwrench suplex. A kind of Death Valley Driver gets two but Bryan comes back with a hard kick to the head for two of his own. Cesaro takes him to the corner for a superplex but gets forearmed and kneed down, only to have Cesaro come back with a top rope superplex attempt. Bryan slips through his legs and gets Cesaro in the Tree of Woe for a bunch of kicks, capped off by the delayed running dropkick to the face.

A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody to give Antonio two as this is getting really good. Back up and Cesaro DESTROYS Bryan with about 25 uppercuts in a row followed by a huge clothesline for two. Bryan backdrops out of the Neutralizer and starts firing off forearms before putting on a leg lock and pounding away with driving forearms to the face. Cesaro is sent to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes out the Real Americans. Back in and Cesaro tries to throw Bryan in the air for the uppercut but Bryan comes down into a small package for the pin at approximately 15:00 shown.

Rating: A-. Someone explain to me why Cesaro isn’t one of the three top heels in this company right now. He could EASILY being in Del Rio’s spot and blowing away everything he does. Both guys looked great here and this is probably a match of the year candidate. Great stuff and I want more Cesaro right now.

Maddox is in the back with Alex Riley next to him of all people. Bryan has a third opponent after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan goes right for Ryback’s bad leg but Ryback easily knocks him down. Ryback shouts that Bryan is a little man in a big man’s world and chokes him him with a boot. The stupid fans chant that Ryback can’t wrestle so Ryback suplexes Bryan down for two. We hit a quick chinlock with Ryback shouting that this is too easy. Ryback’s Thesz press is countered into a wicked looking half crab but he’s right in front of the ropes. A splash gets two for Ryback but the Meathook is blocked by a knee to the chest.

Bryan hits some corner dropkicks but Ryback clotheslines him down for two. Ryback heads to the floor to set up a table but Bryan comes flying through the ropes to send Ryback into the announce table with a thud. Ryback sends him into the steps and gets back in, only to have Bryan fire off the kicks. The YES Lock is countered by a throw but Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle. A missile dropkick gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Ryback finally makes the ropes. Ryback heads to the floor but catches Bryan coming off the apron in a powerbomb. Another powerbomb through the table is good for a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: B-. This was a great David vs. Goliath match and I like that they didn’t make Ryback lose clan here. Bryan beating the Real Americans is fine but having him win against a fresh monster after nearly half an hour in the ring is too much of a stretch. This worked very well though as Ryback can still be a monster when he isn’t a whiny jerk.

Post match Ryback loads up another powerbomb but Cena comes out to make the save. He chases Ryback off and challenges him to a tables match next week.

In the back Maddox makes the tables match official but Vince comes in to make Bryan vs. Kane next week.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took awhile to get going but the final forty minutes is a Daniel Bryan showcase with some AWESOME wrestling that made him look like a monster against Cena. You couple that with an excellent Heyman/Punk segment and some short matches that didn’t overstay their welcome and this was a very solid show. I can’t wait for Summerslam and the show is going to rock.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus – Cradle

Christian b. Titus O’Neal – Killswitch

Dolph Ziggler b. Darren Young – Zig Zag

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Cross Rhodes

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – YES Lock

Daniel Bryan b. Antonio Cesaro – Small Package

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches. The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways. It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things. I’m really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesn’t break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing. He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end. The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot. I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened. GREAT match though.

Vince is here. Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now. It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure. The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time. Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really. It served its purpose though I guess.

Summerslam ad. It’s in the summer you know. Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show. They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people. Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is in blue here. They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down. Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up. Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control. Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in. Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two. Half crab goes on which makes sense for once. Henry? Psychology? What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking? Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool. Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such. Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three. Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up. World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two. Dang I would have thought that was the ending. Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it. They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short. That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall. Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb. Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed. He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract. Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring. Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction. Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily. Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at. Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time. Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart. He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up. Now they team up and take out some heels. Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out. Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing. Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot. Truth dives over to take out all three of them. Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out. Bourne goes up and everyone gasps. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!! Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save. Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz. Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it. I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL. This might be legit actually. Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee. I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it. Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne. The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels. That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder. Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails. Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs. He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first. Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth. Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot. Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger. Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again. Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own. Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it. All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too. Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still. Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off. He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop. They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat. HERE’S MIZ! He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio. Never mind as he’s coming back up again. Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it. REY’S MASK IS OFF! Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face. Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified. Alberto is all alone and it’s over. Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one. The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit. Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish. Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all. Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair. If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased. Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff. I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before. Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is. Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot. Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot. Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot. This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too. If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go. Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy. He even has a new shirt. The crowd is rabid for Punk. He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd. HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena. I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins. OH MAN that heat is ONS levels. Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance. Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer. Here we go. I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal. TON of time for this too. Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up. We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare. They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock. Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him. Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar. They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be. Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely. There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here. Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in. Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit. There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down. We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE. Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight. Punk goes for the knee and takes over again. Cena fires back with the bulldog for two. Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no. I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match. Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth. Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two. Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two. All Punk at this point. Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two. AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two. Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again. It seems like they’re saving energy. They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor. Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead. The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up. The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron. That gets two back in the ring. Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two. Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring. There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body. Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit. Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in. Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment. Oh wait yes he is. That was more or less an FU off the apron. Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now. He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s. Elbow drop gets two. Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes. The knee looks fine. It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch. HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY! Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence. The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head. Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again. Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment. Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes. AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason. GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two. Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog. Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this. The replay shows how sweet those knees were. Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble! Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two. Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again! Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again. Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right. It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice. SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO. This is getting awesome as they used the slow build. I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn. Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two. Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep. He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two. These kickouts are incredible. They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference. Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA. It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape. Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death. The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position. And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace. The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell. Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way. Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way. He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic. Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety. Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be. Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent. Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music. He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in. Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down. Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him. The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible. From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all. Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there. Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed. Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype. Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show. Loved it.

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

I was wrong.  This is going to be amazing.

If you haven’t seen this, find it and watch it several times.  It’s one of the best segments I’ve seen in years.

Money in the Bank 2013
Date: July 14, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the funnest shows of the year more often than not so I have high hopes for tonight. The main events are of course the two ladder matches along with Henry challenging Cena for the Raw Title. This is one of those shows where you can just turn your brain off and enjoy some wild action so hopefully things are as fun as they have the potential to be. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: Usos vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Shield is defending. Rollins starts with Jey with the Uso quickly getting two off a backslide. Off to Reigns who gets chopped down and caught with a double suplex for two. The fans are already chanting for RVD. A double spinebuster gets two for Jey as this is one sided so far. Seth pulls Roman out of the way of a superkick as we take a break during the pre-show. Back with the Usos still in control but Rollins avoids a charge and brings in Reigns to take over.

A clothesline sends Jey off the apron and out to the floor as Shield starts making fast tags. Rollins kicks Jey in the back for two and puts on a chinlock. Jey keeps fighting back but can’t make the hot tag. Seth is sent to the floor and Reigns is kicked away but Rollins dives to break up the hot tag. Jey is knocked tot he floor for a hard clothesline from Reigns. We take ANOTHER break and come back with Jimmy diving over the top to take out the Shield. Not that we got to see the hot tag or anything, but we needed a trailer for Dead Man Down right?

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a high cross body and the Samoan drop gets two on Rollins. Seth comes back and loads up a superplex on Jey but the other two come in to make it a Tower of Doom with Jimmy taking the worst of it. Jimmy superkicks Rollins down and hits the Superfly Splash but Reigns makes a last second save. The fans correctly think this is awesome. Rollins counters a middle rope Samoan drop into an across the ring buckle bomb, setting up the Reigns’ spear for the pin to retain at 14:50.

Rating: B. WOW this was better than I was expecting. The near falls in this were off the charts and the Usos actually had me believing they were going to win. The Shield has insane chemistry out there and the Usos proved that they can hang with them move for move. Excellent stuff here and by far the best pre-show match they’ve ever had.

The opening video is of course about money with the briefcases being loaded into an armored car. Cena and Henry get a generic video package as well.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett

Colter does his usual anti foreigners rant about being in one of the founding cities of America. “Maybe Betsy Ross should have put a taco and a burrito on the flag.” It’s a huge brawl to start and I’m not going to be able to keep up with most of the action in the ladder matches tonight. The two teams lay everyone else out and bring in a ladder each. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex to send Cody into the ladder before shouting WE THE PEOPLE. The Scholars take Cesaro the floor but Ambrose stops Swagger from climbing.

Ambrose, the crowd favorite, is left alone in the ring but Barrett makes the save. Barrett kicks Ambrose in the face, knocking the ladder on top of him in the process. Fandango kicks the ladder into Barrett’s face and hits a slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Barrett. Sandow makes the save as Dean knocks Rhodes off the top rope with another ladder. Fandango is sent face first into the ladder and suplexed onto the one in the corner for good measure. Cesaro makes a climb but has to stop Ambrose with a hanging chinlock off the ladder.

Cody makes the save and hits a Samoa Joe MuscleBuster to send Cesaro into a ladder. Barrett makes the save with a broken rung of a ladder in a new idea. He and Swagger go up now with Wade BLASTING him with the elbow to knock Swagger off. Fandango makes the save but Ambrose catches him with the bulldog driver off the bottom rung. Dean does the windmill spot with the ladder on his head but the Real Americans grab either end to break it up. They lift Ambrose in the air to choke him out but Ambrose skins the cat in mid air in an AWESOME spot. The Americans dump him to the floor but there’s no ladder left.

Cesaro gets on Swagger’s shoulders but Cody hits a springboard dropkick to take them both out. Cross Rhodes lays out Fandango and Barrett but he shouts instead of getting a ladder. He finally gets the big ladder but is met on top by Ambrose for a slugout. Cody rams him face first into the ladder over and over but Rollins and Reigns come out to break it up.

They run interference of everyone else in the match but here are the Usos to take the tag champions out. Cesaro and Swagger get in on the brawl as well but Ambrose is going up. Rhodes makes the save and shoves the ladder over, sending Ambrose onto everyone else. Cody is all alone but Sandow comes in out of nowhere to steal the case at 16:40.

Rating: B. This was solid but it was a step below a lot of these matches. The Ambrose and Shield stuff was great but I’m really not feeling the winner. Sandow hasn’t won a thing of note in like a year but he wins one match and we’re supposed to buy him as a main event level guy now? It doesn’t work that way but WWE can’t get that through their thick heads. Fans don’t forget wins and losses like the writers do.

Here’s Brad Maddox with something to say. He’s glad to be the GM and even though he can’t replace Vickie (“I don’t look good in high heels”) he’s put Vickie on the expert panel. She gets a spotlight followed by a video tribute to her on the Titantron. It’s a lot of her embarrassing moments followed by a standing boo for her. This is finally broken up by the start of the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Curtis Axel

Axel is defending. Miz gets a quick cover off a shoulder block but Axel takes him into the corner for control. Curtis is sent to the floor and caught by a baseball slide before Miz sends him back inside. Miz stares Heyman down, claps his hands and falls down. The referee looks at Heyman and ejects him for allegedly hitting Miz. Smart move there. Axel takes over with a dropkick but the fans are MUCH quieter now. The Hennig necksnap gets two and we hit an armbar.

Back up and Miz avoids a charge in the corner but the fans do not care at all. A big boot puts Axel down and the corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two. Axel comes back with a PerfectPlex for two but Miz hits his one kick to the leg and puts on the Figure Four. Curtis reverses but gets turned over again, only to be right in the ropes for the break. Axel bails to the floor for a second before coming back in for his neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it had no heat at all. People just don’t care about Miz at all and the Figure Four is a big reason why. It’s just a horrible move for him and comes off like a lame Ric Flair tribute, which is pretty much what it is. Nothing to see here but it was a way to let the fans breathe a bit after the big match.

Summerslam ad, which is basically All Grown Up from Wrestlemania a few years ago.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and this has been a very well built feud. They used to be friends but Kaitlyn went after the title instead of helping AJ when she was having relationship issues, so AJ turned on her and has taken everything Kaitlyn cares about. Kaitlyn has a bad elbow coming in and is with Layla here. Kaitlyn gets a quick two off a gutbuster but is sent into the post on the floor. AJ works on the arm with a bridging armbar (almost a one arm Cattle Mutilation) before hooking a crossface chickenwing of all things.

Back up and Kaitlyn fires off a dropkick and a big shoulder followed by the reverse DDT for two. AJ slaps her in the face so Kaitlyn takes her head off with a clothesline. Kaitlyn knocks her off the apron but Langston catches her in midair. The spear connects back inside but Kaitlyn hurts her elbow again. AJ hooks the Black Widow submission out of nowhere and Kaitlyn taps at 7:03.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but it worked well enough. Kaitlyn looked good with the power stuff (and the tight outfit) while AJ needed to be a bit more evil. I doubt this is over yet because that’s how WWE works, but the matches and story have been WAY better than anyone expected them to be.

The expert panel (Big Show, Kofi Kingston and Vickie) talk about the show so far.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Video on the opening of the WWE Performance Center.

We recap Ziggler vs. Del Rio. Ziggler won the world title through his MITB case the night after Wrestlemania then got injured on Smackdown. Del Rio went after Ziggler’s head to win the title at Payback so tonight it’s about revenge and the title for Dolph.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ziggler gets an AMAZING pop. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler gets two off a dropkick. Ten straight elbow drops (with the fans counting along) have Del Rio in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio scores with a running enziguri before sending Ziggler hard into the barricade. We hit the chinlock as the fans are nearly comatose for Del Rio. Can you blame them? There’s NOTHING interesting about him at all. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio does that stupid smile of his.

Del Rio pounds on the back but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. He tries to come in off the top but gets caught in a top rope X Factor for two. A Ziggler neckbreaker gets two and a Del Rio German suplex gets the same. The corner enziguri misses and Ziggler gets a close two off the Fameasser. It’s amazing how much the crowd is into Ziggler. Del Rio gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Ziggler gets the same by dropkicking Del Rio off the top.

Cue AJ to skip around the ring before Ziggler counters another tilt-a-whirl into a jumping DDT for two. Ziggler tells AJ to leave but the distraction allows Alberto to crotch him on the top. A reverse superplex gets two on Dolph and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad to reveal the knee brace but Ziggler avoids the shot…..and AJ hits Del Rio with the Divas Title for the DQ at 14:27.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the stupid ending. I have no idea what WWE’s obsession is with dragging out stories for as long as they can anymore but they need to get over it. This feud isn’t doing anything for anyone and it just keeps going. Either split up AJ and give Dolph the title or move on to something else. The match was good though.

Dolph yells at AJ post match and walks away, making Ziggler look like the jerk in the whole thing.

Video on WWE supporting the military.

Recap of Henry vs. Cena with Henry faking retirement and laying Cena out. He said the WWE Championship is the only thing he’s never won and he wants that one big run with the title. One thing WWE has done right in the last few years is make the WWE Championship seem like a MUCH bigger deal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We hear from the expert panel who have nothing interesting to say.

Video on the Wyatts attacking Kane.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t terrible but aside from maybe the ladder matches, there’s nothing interesting on here at all. Everything felt like it was just there to fill in a spot on the card which isn’t what you expect from a show like this. It’s not a horrible show but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see here. Believe it or not, Payback blew the doors off this show.

Results

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Cody Rhodes, Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett – Sandow pulled down the briefcase

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Ryback b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when AJ Lee interefered

John Cena b. Mark Henry – STF

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam, Sheamus, CM Punk, Christian and Daniel Bryan – Orton pulled down the briefcase

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

We’ve arrived at one of the biggest shows of the year and for once I’m excited.  The card is STACKED and the feuds have all been well built.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the pre-show.  I’ll take the Shield to retain.  I’m a fan of the Usos but come on.  It’s been two months since Shield won the belts and they’re not about to lose them to a team who was release fodder for the majority of last year.

Cena to retain of course.  This is the WWE’s bread and butter: take a superhero and put him against a big old monster, enjoy the crowd reactions.  Well in most cities but you get the idea.  Cena wins here and I don’t think there’s a cash-in yet.

Del Rio keeps his belt but it likely sets up another match in this feud.  Ziggler is popular and will be a god in Philadelphia, but WWE seems obsessed with keeping the title on Del Rio for some reason.  The match should be good but I have zero interest in Del Rio whatsoever.

In the surprise of the show, AJ keeps the belt via interference from Layla.  It’s not a surprise that AJ wins, but that I actually care about the match.  They’ve done a great job at actually setting up the feud and giving us a reason to care about Kaitlyn getting her revenge on the evil AJ.  Those INSANE spears that AJ sells so well help a lot too.  This should be entertaining though, which I can’t believe I’m saying.

Axel beats Miz.  I don’t think this needs an explanation.

Ryback over Jericho.  Ryback hasn’t won a PPV match since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one is interested in him.  It appears that Ryback is going to hook up with Vickie which might make people care about him a little bit so at least he has some hope.  The match should be good and there’s no need for Jericho to win.  This is a classic case of putting two guys in a match because they have nothing else to do and there’s nothing wrong with that thinking at all.

Now for the important matches.

I’ll go with the seemingly obvious choice and say Bryan wins the Raw MITB match.  RVD will be RVD, Sheamus and Orton would seem to cancel each other out, Christian just isn’t winning this match, and Punk will likely be taken out by Brock or Heyman to set up the Summerslam match.  There are rumors that Bray Wyatt will be replacing Kane but for the life of me I can’t see that happening.

That leaves us with the BIG wildcard of the show: the Smackdown MITB match.  However we do have a major clue: Ambrose hasn’t interacted with the other participants for the majority of the buildup, and in WWE terms that’s the cue for him to win.  Looking at the other contestants, we can immediately eliminate the Scholars for obvious reasons.  Fandango simply isn’t ready and has cooled WAY down since his concussion.  The Real Americans intrigue me but I could only put Cesaro at a distant second best option.  Barrett is interesting as well as WWE has been ready to pull the trigger on him for years now and it’s normal for them to job a guy to death before giving him something like MITB.  That leaves Ambrose which would be the right move.

Overall MITB looks very good for the most part.  There isn’t a match I’m not interested in other than the IC Title, the crowd is going to be white hot all night and the ladder matches are always entertaining.  WWE has turned it way up in the last few weeks and the shows have been the most fun they’ve been all year.  This should be a solid way to keep the summer rolling before we get to the important stuff at Summerslam.

Thoughts/predictions?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2013
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is a pretty stacked show tonight. First and foremost, THEY’RE HERE! Tonight is the debut of the Wyatt Family who have been sending creepy messages to the company for months now. Other than that we have the job performance evaluation of Vickie Guerrero, meaning all of the bosses of the company will be in one place at the same time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family vignette, saying we’re coming.

Opening sequence.

Vickie and Brad are in the ring with a ladder and a referee to open the show. She talks about how important the ladder has been to the WWE’s history with people like Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and HHH. To her it represents her climbing up the corporate ladder over her career. If she falls, she’s holding the fans responsible. Vickie goes up top of the ladder and compares WWE to companies like IBM and GE. She’s done everything on her own for years and has done her best to entertain the people. From the top of the ladder to the bottom of her heart, everything she’s done has been for the people.

Jerry Lawler of all people cuts her off and says EXCUSE ME? Lawler has received word that in preparation of the job evaluation tonight, the McMahons and HHH are taking in all factors, including the WWE Universe. There’s a poll on the WWE App where you can give her a pass or fail grade as managing supervisor.

Vickie says she considers the WWE Universe like her family, meaning they have good and bad days. At the end of the day though, they’ll have her back right? What sounds like Vince’s voice is heard saying “Please don’t fall Vickie.” but it sounded like something we weren’t supposed to hear. Tonight it’s Cena vs. Henry face to face, along with Christian vs. Kane, Punk vs. Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. Dang this is a packed show. Sheamus vs. Bryan is RIGHT NOW.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus grabs a headlock to start before taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. They hit the ropes with Bryan nipping up and knocking Sheamus down with a clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest but Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse for two. They fall out to the floor with Bryan trying the running knee to the face but being caught in mid air and dropped into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Bryan backflipping over Sheamus in the corner but charging into another Irish Curse for two. A back elbow gets two more for Sheamus and the rolling senton puts Bryan down again. The Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus tumbles to the floor, setting up the FLYING GOAT to put both guys down again. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two for Bryan but he kicks Sheamus to the apron, allowing Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

Sheamus gets crotched while loading up the top rope shoulder but blocks a top rope hurricanrana, allowing him to hit the shoulder for two. Bryan avoids a charge in the corner and hits a big kick to Sheamus’ head for two, but the following Swan Dive misses and both guys are down. Back up and Bryan fires off more kicks followed by a crucifix for two. Bryan tries to transition into the NO Lock but Sheamus counters into the Cloverleaf, which Bryan counters into a small package for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: B. This right here is a great example of why I hated the Sandow feud. Sheamus can have some AWESOME matches when he isn’t toying with someone five levels below him. Bryan’s rocket push continues as Sheamus is someone that almost never loses a match anywhere. When’s the last time he was pinned clean? December against Big Show I believe? Great match here.

They shake hands post match.

WWE has sent someone to the bayou to find the Wyatt Family compound.

AJ tells Langston to be worried about Kaitlyn but Langston laughs it off. Ziggler pops in and wants to talk to her in private. He wants to know why she’s never out there for his matches anymore and is following Kaitlyn for some reason. AJ says she’ll do anything to be the power couple they’re destined to be but Ziggler doesn’t seem sure. AJ seems to offer sex but Ziggler wants the world title instead. Everything seems ok though.

We get the same career retrospective on Mark Henry that we got last week.

We look at RVD vs. Eddie Guerrero from Raw in 2002.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Tons of Funk

Brodus slams Rollins down to start before bringing in Tensai for a double chop. A delayed butterfly suplex gets two on Rollins before it’s back to Brodus who misses a cross body. Off to Reigns who takes Brodus’ head off with a clothesline for two. We get a McGuire Twins reference from JBL (they were a tag team who weighed a combined 1500lbs or so) as Reigns puts on a chinlock.

Roman pounds on Brodus as the match continues to go longer than it should. Reigns tries a Samoan Drop but Brodus slips down the back into a rollup for two. Brodus hits a belly to back suplex to escape and makes the tag off to Tensai. The bald one cleans house and hits the rolling senton in the corner followed by the Baldo Bomb for two on Rollins. Seth ducks under a charge and Rollins spears Tensai down for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D+. This started very slow but the hot tag to Tensai picked things way up. The JBL commentary with old references was very entertaining but it went over the heads of most of the fans which is a shame. Other than that though there wasn’t much of note here, as there was no way Shield was losing six days before a title defense.

The reporter has found Wyatt Family members Luke Harper and Erick Rowan (the guy in the mask) and seems to be kidnapped by Harper.

Here’s Cena for the showdown with Henry. He sucks up to the crowd by saying it sounds like Money in the Bank is tonight. Cena is here to face Mark Henry but there’s no Henry. Cue the big guy who says that he’s starving for something. Cena makes a Snickers joke but Henry says he’s not going to respond to something like that. Instead he’s going to chill because he’s a different man now.

He’s known who Cena is for years and he’s a puppet. That title will validate Henry’s career and will make him a first ballot Hall of Famer. He’d sell out his mama to have that title. Cena says Henry better win on Sunday then because he sees a desperate man in Henry. If Henry doesn’t win it, he loses everyone’s respect and seventeen years will have been wasted. Henry cracks up because he doesn’t care what the people think. People love Cena or they hate him but Henry doesn’t care.

There are lines that Cena won’t cross because of who he is, but Cena takes the hat and shirt off and draws a line with his foot. Henry says not for free, because he’ll get Cena on Sunday, but then he takes his shirt off anyway. Mark goes towards Cena but stops and says he’ll see Cena Sunday. Henry charges again and runs over Cena but John tries an AA. The weight is too much though and he lands on the champ’s head, knocking him out. Henry picks him up and hits the World’s Strongest Slam before posing with the title.

Orton says he’ll win the MITB contract on Sunday and would have no problem cashing in on Cena if he was laid out like he was moments ago.

Miz is on commentary for the next match.

Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Non title here. Heyman has sunglasses due to a bad black eye at the hands of Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown. Axel says that Jericho wears a jacket with Christmas lights on it but neither he nor Miz is standing in the way of perfection. Jericho quickly dropkicks him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take the champion down. Back in and Axel kicks Jericho down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting back but not being able to hook the Walls. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris and a high cross body gets the same. Axel comes back with a swinging neckbreaker for two but Jericho bulldogs him down and gets two off the Lionsault. The Codebreaker is countered into a PerfectPlex for a VERY close two as Heyman is beside himself.

Jericho hooks the Walls (BIG pop for that) but Axel quickly makes it to the rope. Axel is knocked off the apron and into the announce table, drawing Miz to his feet. Heyman gets his client back inside before the countout but he walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:14, his first loss as a Heyman Guy.

Rating: C+. Good match here and at least the ending wasn’t clean. I don’t like having the champion lose here after the bad luck the champions have had over the previous few months but that’s life in the WWE anymore. The match was good though and having Axel rub elbows with top level guys is going to do nothing but good for him.

We look at RVD winning the IC Title on Raw from Christian in 2003.

Sandow keeps cutting Rhodes off from talking about MITB. Colter, Cesaro and Swagger come in to say the country is in trouble. They don’t seem pleased with Sandow but Colter says the son of an American Dream should know better. Barrett comes in and says he’s winning but Colter says Barrett doesn’t speak English. Fandango comes in but everyone cuts off the catchphraase in a funny bit. He goes to say it anyway so Barrett drops him with a Bull Hammer.

Back to the Bayou where Harper takes the cameraman inside, telling him not to stray. The compound is very dark but we find Bray Wyatt himself, who says he’s been waiting for us. Creepy stuff man.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The colored lights are back which don’t fit for a match with the World Heavyweight Champion involved. Del Rio takes him into the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Cara to get two off a kick to the face. Cara goes up but gets caught with a running enziguri for two. Del Rio hits another running enziguri in the corner for two more and it’s off to an armbar by the champion.

Cue Ziggler (and the regular lighting) and Cara gets two off a rollup. Ziggy says that he’s sorry for what he did to Ricardo but he’s going to introduce Del Rio the way he should be introduced. The match keeps going as Ziggler makes small genitals jokes. Cara gets two off a slingshot senton but walks into a German suplex. A LOUD superkick puts Cara down but Del Rio finally goes after Ziggler for the brawl. Sin Cara hits a big dive to take Alberto out as the match ends at about 5:00.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for how loud Del Rio’s kicks were. I don’t see why they couldn’t have Del Rio get the win here as it’s not like Sin Cara is doing anything right now. Ziggler is still lacking that big moment to solidify his face turn but he’s getting closer. The announcing wasn’t funny but then again most things in WWE aren’t anymore.

It’s time for the job evaluation. The trio of judges sit in front of Vickie as she pleads her case for why she should stay. She talks about getting rid of crazy AJ and takes credit for RVD, Rock and Undertaker all returning. Stephanie says Vickie had nothing to do with those returns so Vickie talks about Brock, before apologizing for Lesnar attacking Vince and HHH.

Vince stands up and says bringing Lesnar back was a genius move. He believes that Vickie is highly entertaining but she’s made some boneheaded decisions in the name of good entertainment. HHH says Vickie can be unintentionally entertaining but she’s terrible at her job. For instance a few weeks ago she was promoting the WWE video game but the people were booing her out of the building. Vince might think it’s entertaining, but Vince’s thoughts on entertainment aren’t all that modern. “It’s why the Golden Girls aren’t on TV anymore.”

HHH sucks up to the fans and says they want and deserve better than Vickie Guerrero. He does give her one point: she has the most annoying voice in the history of broadcast television. Vince praises her for breaking through the male dominated glass ceiling and thinks she should be permanent GM. HHH speaks up again and says the whole point of this is Vince is going to do what he wants, including putting a spineless puppet like Vickie in power.

HHH says Stephanie should get to decide Vickie’s fate and Vince agrees. Both guys suck up to her (“Daddy’s little girl!” “The mother of my children and the woman that has to go home for me after this.”) but Stephanie says the answer will be decided by the WWE App vote. The results say Vickie failed by a margin of 75% to 25%, meaning Vickie is fired. Vickie rants about how you can’t trust the people and how she’s not a spineless puppet. Stephanie fires her and Vickie goes into evil mode.

She falls to her face and screams a lot as the fans chant NO MORE VICKIE. Vickie crawls onto the table and shouts that the McMahons need her in charge. Vince stays in the ring and asks the people if they’re happy. He blames the fans for failing and throwing away the most entertaining GM in Raw history. We need a new GM and that will be…..Brad Maddox. Oh joy. Maddox is shocked and stands still in the ring as Vince helps Vickie out.

Post break Vickie is crying and Vince says he’ll make it right somehow. Maddox comes up and thanks Vince for the opportunity but Vince won’t shake his hand. Vince asks Brad how long he’ll hold his hand out for but Vickie goes after Brad and says get out of his life. The new GM runs off. Vince: “You ruined my jacket!”

Kane vs. Christian

Kane shoves Christian around to start and hits a hard whip into the corner. The Canadian escapes a powerslam and snaps Kane’s neck over the top rope. A middle rope dropkick gets two as the commentators rattle off MITB stats. They head to the floor for a big dive off the top from Christian as we take a break. Back with Christian hitting a tornado DDT out of the corner for two. An uppercut puts Christian down but the top rope clothesline misses. Christian charges into the chokeslam out of nowhere for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Screw the reason because THEY’RE HERE.

Wyatt pops up on the screen and says that he has brothers, not followers. It’s time for the people to stand up and realize what’s going on. He’s seen it all in his dreams his thoughts and he understands that this is the end instead of the beginning. He lights a lantern and says we’re here before blowing the light out.

Back in the arena the lights are out and the Family’s music starts playing. Wyatt walks out with a lantern and sits down in what is presumably his rocking chair. The lights come up and Harper/Rowan (not yet named) are attacking Kane. They’re big guys who can look Kane in the eye and pound him down. They get him to the floor and send him into the steps before crushing Kane’s head between the steel. Wyatt gets in Kane’s face and says what sounded like down with the machine. The fans chant Husky Harris because they have to think they’re smart.

Vickie carries out her box of stuff but runs into Ryback. He puts the box on the floor and hugs her, saying it’s going to be ok.

The Bellas are on commentary for the next match.

AJ Lee/Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn/Layla

Layla starts by throwing kicks at Alicia as the Bellas insult AJ. A quick rollup gets two for Layla as the Bellas basically bury the entire Divas division. Kaitlyn goes after AJ and they head to the floor where Kaitlyn hits a SWEET spear to knock AJ out cold. The match is stopped at about 2:00.

Punk wants to know if he’s best in the world because he held the title for 434 days or did he hold the title for 434 days because he’s the best in the world.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start as the fans are split down the middle. Orton runs him over with a shoulder block and a sweet dropkick takes Punk down. Punk comes back with a suplex for two as the dueling chants begin again. The Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head to send Orton to the floor. The suicide dive takes Orton down again as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock and taking Punk down with a t-bone suplex before he can make a comeback. We hit the chinlock again but Punk fights up and hits a quick dropkick to put Orton down. Orton comes back with his clotheslines but Punk avoids the powerslam and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker puts Randy down again and there’s the running knee in the corner. The Macho Elbow connects for no cover but it’s GTS time. Orton shoves Punk through the ropes for the Elevated DDT but can’t follow up with a cover.

Orton loads up the RKO but Punk blocks, only to be caught in the snap powerslam for two. Punk escapes ten punches in the corner and hits another running knee to the chest but Orton escapes the GTS. The RKO is blocked by a high kick to the head and it’s a GTS for the clean pin at 13:41.

Rating: B-. Another good match to close out the show here with Punk looking strong. Orton doesn’t lose a thing by getting pinned here as it’s all about climbing on Sunday. This was your usual battle of the superstars formula and it worked as well as you would have expected it to. These two always have solid chemistry together.

Post match Bryan runs out and beats up Punk before hitting Orton with a ladder. He climbs up and grabs the case to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a blast with this show tonight and it absolutely flew by. We had good to great matches all night, the AMAZING Wyatt Family debut, a solid build to the PPV on Sunday, that wicked spear from Kaitlyn, the reaction from Maddox when he was named GM, the funny Fandango segment and Layla in some of the smallest shorts in recorded history. WWE is on a roll right now and this was one of the best shows they’ve had in a long time. I’m fired up for MITB and I never came close to that for Payback or Extreme Rules.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Sheamus – Small Package

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Tons of Funk – Spear to Tensai

Chris Jericho b. Curtis Axel – Codebreaker

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara went to a no contest

Kane b. Christian – Chokeslam

Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Layla went to a no contest

CM Punk b. Randy Orton – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the second half of the year now with Raw again. We have four MITB contestants so far and there’s a rumor of a fifth showing up. I believe it’ll be a former champion but it’s hard to say given how this company keeps its stipulations straight. Lesnar is supposed to be here tonight too so we’ll get more of him vs. HHH. This is one of those shows that is going to be used to build towards the PPV. Let’s get to it.

After more technical difficulties, here’s Cena to open things up. He talks about how last week was his crash course in MITB because you never know when someone is going to come and break things up. He’ll win the case and the title and all the stuff you would expect him to say. Cue Bryan chanting YES. Cena: “See? Even Bryan agrees with me.” Bryan says he’ll win the title at MITB so Cena won’t be the next champion.

Cue Punk who says he disagrees with Bryan’s claim that he’ll win. He asks people if they disagree with Bryan, getting a lot of YES chants. For some reason only Cena has had theme music so far. Punk says that Bryan’s ex-girlfriend will be counting the shoulders down, and then it’s Punk vs. Cena all over again. Cue Jericho (with music) who says he’s tired of people stealing his catchphrases. Bryan cuts him off and is told to shut up as only Jericho can say it.

Jericho welcomes us to Raw Is Jericho and says that after tonight no one will evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same again. He says he’ll win MITB and dares anyone to come out and say otherwise, and of course he’s Kane. Kane says otherwise in something that made me chuckle. Cue Big Show and it’s a big brawl. Kane beats on Jericho and Cena goes after Big Show while Bryan and Punk are both going to the floor. Kane goes after Big Show but Show knocks everyone down.

David Otunga/Cody Rhodes/Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Christian/Santino Marella

Christiana nd Young start things off and a middle rope missile dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Off to Truth for his first action in months after a broken foot. Young tries a right hand but gets gyrated at instead. Off to Kofi who hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Boom Drop is broken up by Titus who pulls Darren to the floor. Kofi dives onto Titus but gets clotheslined down by Young as everything breaks down.

We take a break and come back with Cody holding Kofi in a surfboard. AW is mic’d up now for some reason. Titus comes in and slams Kofi for two. Kofi gets in a shot and it’s off to Santino vs. Otunga. Santino hits that quick suplex and a Stunner for two. Everything breaks down again and the Prime Time Players walk off. Santino hits his usual and Cody walks out on Otunga. Cue Brodus Clay of all people as Santino loads up the Cobra. Otunga keeps trying to run but gets thrown into the Cobra for the pin at 6:24. Too short to rate given what we saw but this was organized chaos at its best.

Otunga takes a bunch of finishers post match and we get a big dance party.

Teddy (in charge tonight) is dancing in the back when Alberto and Ricardo come in. Alberto earned his one on one title match and he wants it by Jorge. The Board has said that Alberto gets his title match at MITB but tonight, Alberto has a surprise opponent.

Stephanie talks about her dad getting ready for the 99 Rumble. It was basically a Rocky parody mixed with a way to show off that Vince was in great shape.

Alberto Del Rio vs. ???

Cole talks about how the car was driven here from Alberto’s home near Mexico City. That makes me wonder: how does he get these cars everywhere? Does he have a big fleet of people driving/transporting them all over the country? If so….that’s kind of awesome. The fans GO OFF on Alberto with some Spanish swearing. Here’s the opponent.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Think Cara is popular in south Texas? Cole calls Mexican wrestlers lucha libres. Mike Tenay he is not. Del Rio jumps Cara as he comes into the ring and goes insane on him. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Del Rio destroys Cara on the floor and puts him in the armbreaker so Cara taps. There was no match.

Bryan is in the back and steals a flower from a random bouquet. He comes up to AJ and apologizes, even though AJ has Punk X’s on his hands. She says that’s sweet and of course has nothing to do with the title match at the PPV. Tonight she’s going to win and run into the arms of her soul mate. She destroys the flower and leaves.

Heyman is live via satellite instead of Lesnar being here.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tomorrow on Smackdown. The winner is next week’s GM of Smackdown. Ok then.

After a recap of the Heyman/HHH challenge to Lesnar, we’re told by Heyman that Brock will deliver his answer to HHH in person at the 1000th Raw. Lesnar wants to face HHH at Summerslam but not for the reasons people thing. HHH will do it because he needs money for the lawsuit. Also, it’s his exit strategy for his career, because after this HHH will never be able to wrestle again. After Summerslam, he can be the executive that everyone says went down in a blaze of glory.

Kane vs. Big Show later on in a No DQ match. Heaven help me.

Vickie Guerrero/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/AJ

This looks odd on paper but when you think about it all of the connections are there. The guys start us off after Sheamus puts AJ on the apron. Dolph dropkicks him down but gets launched into the air soon thereafter. A running ax handle gets two for the champ but Dolph takes him down into a chinlock. Sheamus breaks that up and hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but Dolph tags Vickie before it can hit. Sheamus kicks his head off to send him to the floor and AJ comes in. Shining Wizard kills Vickie at 3:27.

Rating: C-. This was VERY short but DANG that Shining Wizard was awesome. AJ continues to be insane but it looks like we’re heading up to the payoff at MITB which is the right play. This was barely long enough to grade and I’m not sure what the point was in basically destroying Ziggler like that. Still though, that Shining Wizard was awesome.

AJ does the YES chant and heads to the back. She finds Punk who is on the phone with his sister. He missed the match and AJ is crushed.

We get a video of Slater’s destruction at the hands of old people, leading to this.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

Post match, here’s DDP to a BIG reaction and a Diamond Cutter.

Video on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting sick/injured troops.

Kane vs. Big Show

This is No DQ. Show controls to start and sends Kane to the floor. He pulls Kane up from the floor BY HIS HEAD, onlyt o knocks Kane back to the floor again. Show misses a charge into the barricade but he throws Kane into the steps to take over. They fight over a chokeslam onto the announce table but Show superkicks him down instead. Show brings a chair in but walks into a DDT for two. The top rope clothesline misses but Kane grabs the chair. Show spears him down and chokeslams Kane onto the chair for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best possible idea for them: keep things short. This wasn’t horrible but I’m not sure what the point of the stipulation was. It came out of nowhere, but to be fair it probably made the match as watchable as it was. These two have never had good chemistry together so keeping it short was probably their best option.

Teddy runs into Eve in the back and she sucks up to him. Teddy gives her a nametag in a funny bit. She rips it up and runs into AJ, telling her to leave the mind games to the big girls and telling AJ to go sit in the corner and cry. AJ wants to know who Eve is going to brown nose next. Eve will do anything to get attention, so AJ says she’ll show everyone how to do just that.

DX invading WCW was a big deal as well. This one actually was.

Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and fires off the headbutts but misses a charge. Kidd rolls him up……AND GETS THE PIN AT 20 SECONDS???? WOW.

Tensai beats up Sakamoto post match.

Jericho and Bryan debate jackets and a catchphrase duel breaks out. YES vs. EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER is hilarious.

Punk tells Cena to follow his lead out there.

Tensai destroys Kidd in the locker room.

Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Punk and Bryan start things off. They speed things up of course and Punk takes control. He sends Bryan into the corner and it’s a double tag. Cena dominates Jericho as he is known to do, knocking him off the apron as we take a break. Back with Jericho getting two on Cena and taunting him for not being able to tag Punk. The Lionsault misses but Bryan breaks up the tag again.

The corner dropkick gets two for Bryan and it’s off to Jericho again. The dueling chants begin but Jericho blocks the fisherman’s suplex. The AA is countered into a DDT but Cena fires Jericho into the corner to put both guys down. There’s the diving tag to Punk, who comes in with a springboard clothesline to take over on the fresh Bryan. Powerslam gets two and Bryan gets put in the Vice. Jericho FINALLY makes a save but Cena fights him up the aisle and into the back.

Punk and Bryan are the legal guys left, as well as the only two still in the ring. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Bryan starts firing off the kicks and a big one to the head gets two. Bryan goes up but gets superplexed down for another two. And here’s AJ to skip around the ring. No one looks at her so she gets on the apron as Bryan fires off kicks to Punk.

No one looks at her still so she gets down as the guys hit cross bodies at the same time. AJ goes under the ring and pulls out….a table? She sets it up at ringside and very slowly climbs the steps. AJ goes up top but Bryan gets in front of the table. Punk gets up on the ropes to stop her as well, so she kisses him. Then she shoves him through Bryan through the table and starts a YES chant. The match ends at we’ll say 17:30.

Rating: B. The match was great and while the ending was confusing, it’s certainly intriguing. This certainly keeps things interesting as she still hasn’t picked anyone. She’s the most interesting character in the company right now by far, because in short you don’t know what she (AJ for you idiots out there) is going to do next. Good ending to a good match.

Overall Rating: C. The first hour was similar to having a blind monk with Parkinson’s Disease brand me with an iron while Chinese torture masters ripped out my fingernails. The second hour was better, to the point where I was really getting into things before the show ended. Kidd pulling off that upset was the perfect move as it gives him even more momentum going into the PPV. In short, very good second hour, pretty bad first hour.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Night of Champions 2008
Date: June 29, 2008
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,151
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mike Adamle, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz, Mick Foley

So after the whole Benoit thing, they guys decided that calling it VENGEANCE was a bad idea so Night of Champions was born. This is kind of a finale to Vengeance but kind of not but that doesn’t really matter. As you likely know, everything here is a title match so there’s that fun aspect at least. The card is ok at best with Cena vs. HHH as the main event. This was a really bad time for the company as the cards just sucked. Also, HHH and Edge are the champions and both are on Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about being a champion. Well at least they kept it simple. Batista is after Edge and La Familia. It’s his last title shot too. Cena wants HHH and HHH wants Cena. Good to see that they care about each other.

Shinedown is doing the theme song. Things are looking up.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a freaking midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We get a quick thing on Mania 22 where HHH tapped to Cena to end the show. There’s a text thing as to who wins tonight: Cena, Batista, both or none. I’d answer but I know it already. I’ll do it anyway: Both.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

La Familia gets their first match here and you can feel the idea of the stable dying every moment. Chavo has Bam Neeley with him here and is challenging. Ross says Hardy is popular and talented. Make your own jokes. That’s not really fair as Matt tries to an extent but when he’s most commonly associated with Edge, Christian and Jeff, he looks pretty weak by comparison.

The crowd is very behind Hardy here. I’ve never gotten why he’s so incredibly popular. He’s nowhere near as bad as he’s made out to be but he’s no second coming of Austin or anything. They’ve been fighting for about five minutes so far and nothing of note has happened really. Chavo works on his knee for some psychology. Did you expect a Guerrero to not have something in there?

Side Effect gets two and a solid pop. Chavo gets a half crab as this match just isn’t doing anything for me. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing here of substance at all. Matt does some stuff and then Chavo does some stuff, then they repeat it. Chavo goes Three Amigos which gets booed in Texas. That’s just odd. And Matt counters out of nowhere into a Twist of Fate to retain. Well that was abrupt.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t very good at all. It wasn’t horrible I guess but at the same time this just had nothing special about it at all. The match was like 9 minutes long and it just came and went. It’s a match that felt like a match for the sake of having a title match which isn’t something you want to see.

Tony Dorsett is here. OH YES!

We recap the Vince gets crushed thing which went nowhere.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Oh it’s Mike Adamle again. He would be Raw GM soon enough and things went bad to an extent. Tazz has to anchor the commentary here and that just is not going to work. Show won a match at One Night Stand to get here and Henry is here because Vince wants him to be. Kane comes in as champion. Seriously, give him a world title reign. The guy has to job to people like Henry and people wonder why he doesn’t stay over. By the way Kane is on Raw after the Draft six days before this and the US Title is on ECW. God bless WWE logic.

We get big match intros for the first time tonight which is kind of weird. Adamle is trying here and I can always give him credit for something like that. Oh seriously what are you expecting here? Kane is the smallest guy in this match. What do you think they’re doing? Of course: tapdancing. Yeah that joke sucked. Anyway they’re just doing power stuff that is supposed to impress us and it would if we hadn’t seen these guys fight like 100 times each before.

Kane comes back up and gets a solid pop. They had the white ropes even back in 08? I never noticed that before. The bald guys hit a double chokeslam on Henry and then they fight. Stop me if this sounds like every other triple threat match ever. Show hits Kane with one as well and since Henry is a big fat tub of goo, Kane has to kick out on his own. You know,

Adamle really isn’t that bad. He truly isn’t. He just gets such a bad reputation for what he would do later on. He didn’t have a background for this and got thrown on the top company in the world and did his best. Kane puts Show down and then Henry splashes him in the corner for the pin. This would result in him getting his huge belt soon afterwards.

Rating: D+. Not bad again but still just a big mess as these three had nothing of note as far as working together went. Kane was the most agile guy out there and he was down for a good chunk of this. Matches like these rarely work and this was no exception. Henry got pushed for no reason at all and his reign bombed. Matt Hardy would take it like 3 months later. Kane would turn heel like the next night.

Batista is with Eve who is still an interviewer here. He says that he’s not going back to Raw empty handed. He says he’s going to be the man on Raw and Cena is right there in front of him. Cena says Dave might not be the only champion by the end of the night. And here’s Punk, saying he hopes they both win because the briefcase is getting heavy.

Raw Tag Titles: Ted DiBiase/??? Vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Holly and Rhodes have held the titles since December and everyone is sick of them. Also, everyone and their mother knows that Cody is the one jumping here. DiBiase has been around like two weeks at this point so he’s the hottest thing on the planet. His first catchphrase, “Everybody’s got a price, but I’m priceless” more or less blew the Raw LD to pieces. Lillian should wear red forever. She just should.

Rhodes and Holly are both in lime green tights. This is Ted’s debut. Lillian says here is his partner but Ted grabs the mic and says his partner is on his way and he needs ten minutes. Threatened with forfeiting, Ted says start it and the partner will get here. Cody starts but Ted wants Holly. He’s the only one I’d bet. And immediately there it is: Cody kicks Holly in the ribs and hits a DDT, forming what would become Legacy. Cody also becomes the first person to ever lose and win a tag title in the same match. Well kind of I guess. No rating, but a cool moment considering what these guys would become.

HHH has a new DVD.

JBL is in a private box and is mad that he’s not on the Night of Champions PPV. Todd says because he isn’t a champion and JBL’s slow turn is great. His promos really were awesome but his matches just flat out sucked for the most part. He runs down Dallas for not winning anything. This really is a great promo.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is still a face here but that wouldn’t last long. Ah he’s in the middle of his turn here. That makes sense. The mystery opponent is not HBK according to Jericho due to him injuring Shawn more than once already. Jericho in long tights just doesn’t look right for some reason. I was at a house show about a week later and his eye seemed fine to me. Jericho says he’s an honest man. Oh dang it’s he’s Alberto Del Rio now. Some Jamaican music cuts Jericho off and the opponent is Kofi.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi has been on Raw for six days at this point, having come over from ECW in the Draft. People knew he had something but the universal response was that this was too soon for him. This is more or less his big debut. Kofi starts busting out stuff that is normal for him now but back in the day was brand new stuff. Kofi hits that Frog Splash cross body for two.

The problem is that since not a lot of people watch ECW, not a lot of people know much about Kofi. You get a feeling here that they’re just kind of meandering along waiting on the big finish, which should be pretty clear if you’re paying attention. The fans chant boring for no apparent reason. The match is slow but not boring. Kofi starts busting out the insane dropkicks to kill the chants and hits the Boom Drop which has no name yet.

The Walls are blocked and another Boom Drop gets a long two. Jericho busts out the Liontamer and Shawn finally makes the required run in to distract Jericho so Kofi can kick him right in the forearm for the pin and his first title. This was what the IC Title was supposed to be about: a young guy that needs some credibility getting a title to give him some. Post match Shawn is helped out and Jericho punches him in his bad eye.

Rating: C+. Kofi wasn’t anywhere near what he would become but he was still pretty good. Jericho put him over here and the ending was solid. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Jericho yet and he didn’t. Has Jericho ever beaten Kofi clean? I think he has but I’m not sure. Anyway, this was more about furthering the Shawn/Jericho feud without making Shawn go for the IC Title and on that front it did very well.

Edge complains to his cronies (including wedding planner Alicia Fox and the Edgeheads: Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder) that he doesn’t need any help tonight.

We see the debut of the Vince/Cena razor commercial. Thank you for wasting that 30 seconds of my life.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Katie won some tags to get here. Yeah whatever. Katie goes after the arm and this is just going nowhere. The fans are totally dead and there is just no point to this. Mickie uses a bunch of kicks because of her arm and this is just bad. Katie locks in an armbar but forgets to bend it the right way so it looks completely awful. And then Mickie uses the bad arm for the DDT and wins it. That somehow went on for seven minutes.

Rating: F. Oh this just failed. That’s all there is to it. Mickie’s selling was bad, the offense was bad, the ending was bad, the crowd was bad, are you getting that this was bad? Yeah moving on.

We get the results of the poll and it’s more or less a three way tie between Batista, Cena and both with neither getting 7% of the vote.

Recap of Edge vs. Batista. Edge won the title and got rid of Taker so Batista challenged him because Big Dave liked being in title matches. Batista goes to Raw after this so it’s his last shot.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. Batista

I have to use the proper names since both belts are on Smackdown at the moment. The champion comes out first again for some reason. That’s happened most of the night for some reason. JR tries to figure out what the R stands for in the Rated-R Superstar. Well no one ever accused JR of being up with the times. Batista gets a very solid pop. His pyro has to be heard to be believed.

Batista of course dominates to start us off as Edge is more or less trying to survive the opening part of the match. He busts out a Jackhammer and gets a small Goldberg chant. He’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t throw chops I guess. He then goes through the table to give Edge a chance. All of the papers sticking to his back is funny for some reason to me.

Edge keeps trying to make Batista miss including sending him into the middle turnbuckle. Ross informs us that the buckle isn’t covered in barbecue sauce. I hope he donates his brain to science. That would be interesting beyond belief to look at. The crowd pops like mad for a single punch from Batista. Edge busts out a neckbreaker which Batista gets caught with. Yeah I know: Edge using a wrestling move. In a cool looking move, Edge goes for Edge-O-Matic but Batista just throws his head forward and sends Edge flying. That was pure power and looked great.

Batista hits a clothesline that would have knocked Edge out cold back in 04. A Boss Man Slam gets two. I love that move. He follows it up with a GREAT spear. Instead of jumping on him his shoulder just popped into Edge’s ribs which makes it look and sound completely awesome. Batista Bomb is blocked into the Edgecution for two as this is getting good. How many times has Edge gotten kicked in the face when he goes for the spear?

Batista goes up and gets kicked in the face for his troubles. And here’s La Familia of course, Hawkins, Ryder and Vickie in this case. Batista leap frogs over a spear and hits the spinebuster but Vickie grabs the referee to tick off the crowd. Edge pulls the referee to the floor and pops him to try to get disqualified. Vickie wants another referee so here’s Chavo.

They’re going for Vickie as Vince here and it’s just not working. Batista throws her over the ropes onto La Familia and by that I mean LAUNCHES her in a great looking visual. There’s your reason to see this show: you get to see a pig fly. Well it was funny to me. A belt shot and a Chavo count ends it.

Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but really nothing all that great. If you chop about five minutes off this then it’s a much better match. There was too much just killing time at the beginning and in the middle to make the ending work. The last five minutes were quite good but the first ten to twelve were just ok which holds this back. Still a good match though.

Batista takes forever to leave as they want this to be some big farewell match. That would work a lot better if this wasn’t a Raw and Smackdown show, meaning you’ll see him the next night.

Ad for the Great American Bash which is apparently about blowing up cars.

HHH says he’s going to do what he should have done at Mania. He’s going to put Cena over again?

We get the big match deal as this is apparently supposed to be as big as Foley winning the title, Hogan vs. Rock or Hogan vs. Andre. Well first of all Foley isn’t nearly as big as either of those. We see a ton of other moments like Eddie beating Brock, Shawn winning, Flair winning, Austin winning and then Cena vs. HHH II. I mean….really?

WWE Championship: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena gets mostly a face pop. Cole says if you aren’t excited about this then you should go home. Wouldn’t people hearing his voice be at home for the most of the time? Is he saying go back to live with your parents because it’ll make the world better? I hate when these shows get all preachy. We get big match intros and Cena is booed LOUDLY. Yeah HHH is the face here. Lillian sounds like she’s sneezing when she says H.

They even check the boots and tights. This really is a big match so they’re treating it like one. They feel each other out a lot to start and HHH hits a hip toss and throws in a crotch chop because DX is AWESOME right? They both show each other up and then are like screw this and start throwing bombs. Cena hits move #4 and gets two. He goes for the flying tackles and HHH uses that incredible mind and ducks to send Cena flying. I love basic counters like that.

The crowd seems a bit confused but they’re certainly interested in this. Cena takes FOREVER to set up You Can’t See Me and gets kicked in the chest for his efforts or lack thereof in this case. The standing around here is getting pretty stupid as they’re just waiting on moves to be done to them. The top rope Fameasser is more or less just a boot to the back of the head since HHH messed it up pretty badly.

STFU doesn’t hook but you know it’s coming. He takes too long AGAIN on You Can’t See Me and gets kneed in the face for his troubles. Pedigree doesn’t work and HHH is thrown to the floor where he hurts his knee. At least it’s not his quad. Cena acts a little heelish and goes for the knee. It’s smart strategy but because of the circumstances it’s making him the heel in this match. That my friends, is basic heel/face psychology.

He wraps HHH’s leg around the post as this is pretty solid stuff. They fight over the STFU which looks sloppy but cool at the same time. Pedigree hits out of nowhere but his knee is hurt so it’s only two. BIG pop for the kickout. FU hits for two also. HHH is selling the heck out of that knee. They slug it out with nothing but right hands and Cole has completely stopped talking for some reason. Ah there he is.

Cena hits the Protoplex and finally hits You Can’t See Me (yes I know that isn’t the proper name). It gets two of course, probably because it’s a stupud fist drop. STFU is locked WAY in as I’m pretty sure the knee isn’t supposed to go like that. HHH counters into a Crossface that looks like crap. In a cool counter, Cena stands up into the FU but it doesn’t hit. A Pedigree ends it.

Rating: B+. Solid match here but by no means as great a match as they would want us to believe. It felt like two guys trying to have a great match rather than a great match. That’s not the best wording but that’s how it came off. HHH should have won to even up the rivalry but they’re REALLY overhyping this. It’s good but it’s not that good.

One last thing: as HHH is posing, Lawler says he doesn’t want to be crass but they beat the heck out of each other. After everything else he’s said he’s worried about THAT?

Overall Rating: C+. Well this was in a way built around two matches and those were both good. Other than that though the show just didn’t do it for me. Too many of the matches were just there for the sake of having title matches and that’s never a good thing. The show is ok, but just ok. It got better the next year but the company as a whole was better than too. Check out the main event and that’s about it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 24, 2013
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The WWE is on a roll as of late with good Smackdowns, a good Payback and a great Raw last week. Tonight’s focus will likely be on Punk vs. Lesnar as Brock laid out Punk to close the show last week. We also have Henry vs. Cena on tap for Money in the Bank which should be entertaining given the roll Henry can get on when he’s in a zone. Hopefully the show is as good as it was last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the two big stories from last week: Brock vs. Punk and Henry vs. Cena.

Here’s Bryan to open the show. He says that some people have accused him of having some sort of a little man complex. To set the record straight, NO he was not an extra in the Hobbit. Over the years he’s fought toe to toe with some of the biggest people in the business including Randy Orton. The countout victory on Smackdown wasn’t enough because Bryan wants a pin or a submission in the middle of this ring. This brings out Orton to tell Bryan to shut up and fight which is exactly what Orton gets.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan jumps Orton to start but Randy takes it to the floor. He throws Daniel over the announce table and a brawl breaks out with Bryan diving at Orton against the barricade. The referee goes down and the match is thrown out at 1:20.

Bryan storms in on Vickie and Brad, DEMANDING a rematch later tonight. Brad says there isn’t time so Bryan says either he gets his match with Randy or he’s fighting Maddox later. Vince comes in to seemingly threaten Vickie and Brad but nothing comes of it.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Sheamus/Christian

Christian starts with Cody and gets two off a back elbow. They go outside with Christian being sent into the steps before Sandow gets two off the Wind-Up elbow. Cody hits a delayed front suplex but Christian fights up for a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the ten forearms to Sandow’s chest. Off to Cody who eats a Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Why is it so hard to book Sheamus? They did the same thing last year against Alberto and now we’re getting it here too. For some reason the solution for Sheamus seems to be “have the same match over and over and wonder why people stop caring after the second time.” This is a horrible feud and I don’t know of anyone who cares about it.

Punk is in the back when Vickie tells him he has a match tonight. Punk shouts at Vickie and that’s about it.

Aksana vs. Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn pounds away to start as Kaitlyn’s own music plays. Cue AJ in a Kaitlyn costume (meaning heavily muscled) allowing Aksana to roll Kaitlyn up for two. Spear finishes Aksana at 1:25.

AJ makes fun of Kaitlyn for believing she had a secret admirer until Langston comes out. More jokes about Kaitlyn’s size are made and that’s about it.

Apparently Bray Wyatt tweets. Here’s another vignette of how creepy he is, but remember that he comes out of the swamp every now and then to tweet.

We recap Henry’s fake retirement last week. By recap I mean show half the segment.

Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is a rematch from last Friday where Del Rio won by DQ. Jericho takes over to start and chops the champion into the corner. A snapmare gets two for Chris but Del Rio gets him into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into a boot to the head and takes a middle rope dropkick for two. Del Rio is sent to the floor but jericho misses a dropkick and bangs up his knee to change momentum again.

Back with Jericho getting two each off a small package and an enziguri. Jericho goes up but gets caught by the corner enziguri to send him to the floor. Back in and Del Rio stomps away before putting on a quick chinlock. Chris chops up but misses a dropkick to put him right back down. Back to el chinlock by Alberto before Jericho is whipped chest first into the buckle. The Canadian comes back with a high cross body for two and a northern lights suplex gets the same.

Jericho avoids a charge in the corner to send Del Rio shoulder first into the post, but the champion blocks the Codebreaker. Jericho rolls into the Walls but Del Rio spins out just in time. The low superkick gets two for Alberto but Jericho counters the armbreaker into the bulldog. The Lionsault gets knees though and it’s off the armbreaker but Jericho springboards himself off the ropes and into the Walls but Ricardo comes in for the LAME DQ at 14:10.

Rating: B-. This would have been so much better had we not seen the exact same thing on Smackdown. That’s one of WWE’s biggest issues right now: there’s no space between these matches. We go from a match on Raw to the same match on Smackdown and then a third match on the next Raw. What time for a build or anything is there? The match here worked fine but the ending was painfully obvious about five minutes into the match.

Post match Ziggler runs in and hits a Zig Zag on both guys as payback for Jericho attacking him on Friday.

HHH comes in to see Brad and Vickie and apparently the WWE Universe wants to see Bryan vs. Orton tonight. However, HHH wants Vickie to over deliver. It should be a choice of what kind of match the match should have and Vickie of course agrees.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox for the debut of the new WWE video game cover. There’s also a contest where you can submit and design the back cover of the game. Vickie is booed out of the building as she tells us we can vote on the stipulation for Bryan vs. Orton. You can pick street fight, lumberjack match or falls count anywhere. Now we jump back to the game by seeing Vickie’s cover design: HHH, Vince and Stephanie looking mad. Brad shows us his cover design: Cena, Punk and Maddox. Lawler shows us the real cover: The Rock.

Ryback vs. Great Khali

Khali shoves Ryback into the corner and chops him down but Ryback fires off some shoulders to the ribs. A clothesline puts Ryback down again but he comes right back with the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:18.

Here’s Cena to talk about what it means to be WWE Champion. Only 43 men have been WWE Champion and whether they were champion for over seven years like Bruno Sammartino or for one night like Rey Mysterio, they were the WWE Champion. He’s seen people chase the title and crack under the pressure once they get it, ad last week we saw the level that someone will sink to in order to be called WWE Champion.

Last week Henry cheated the WWE Universe and disgraced his family. Cena thought Henry’s false speech disgraced people like Edge, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair who had to retire because they couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe Henry realizes that his time is coming to a close in the WWE and he has to do something to cement his legacy. This is where John Cena comes in, because in order to become a legend in this company, Henry has to go through him. It’s not Henry’s time though, because our time is now. Solid promo here from the man you call to put over a feud.

Tons of Funk vs. Usos vs. 3MB

The winners get a tag title shot, presumably at MITB. Tons of Funk have some guy who won a charity auction to come to the ring. It’s McIntyre and Mahal for 3MB here. Mahal starts with Jey who kicks Drew in the face and out to the apron. Off to Jimmy who gets run over by Tensai as everything breaks down. Brodus throws the Band out and dives off the apron to take them out. Back in the ring and Tensai gets two off the backsplash but it’s a superkick and Samoan Drop by Jey, setting up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 2:02.

Shield comes out to stare the Usos down post match.

Ad for The Call on DVD. David Otunga calls Halle Berry and isn’t funny. He also gave Kane her cell number.

Here’s Heyman to address the CM Punk/Brock Lesnar incident from last week. Heyman would rather do this in person though so here’s Punk for a discussion. First up, Punk thinks the fans should know why he’s a Paul Heyman guy. Back in 2005, Punk was signed to a WWE contract under VP of Talent Relations Johnny Ace. Ace thought Punk should be sent to Louisville, Kentucky to go through the developmental system.

At the time, Heyman was in charge of the developmental system, but he had been set up to fail. Punk was one of the guys designed to not succeed and a lot of the management told Heyman to cut Punk loose. Despite Heyman’s track record, WWE wouldn’t listen to him but Heyman never fired Punk. When ECW was restarted, Punk was the first draft pick (not really but whatever).

As for now though, Heyman needs to tell Brock Lesnar that Punk is coming for him. Heyman knows Punk personally and there’s no one more relentless or dangerous and Punk will do whatever it takes to bring the beast down. Now we can address the elephant in the room: what happened last week. Until last week, Heyman had never done Punk wrong. Punk wants to know if Heyman sent Brock Lesnar after him and for the first time in his life, Heyman better not lie.

Heyman says on his children, he didn’t know Brock was at Raw last week. The fans boo and Heyman says that’s exactly what the McMahons and Ace used to say when he said to keep Punk around. The moment Punk said Lesnar needed Heyman’s help, he picked a fight with Brock Lesnar. Heyman says there has always been professional jealous between them and that’s why we never saw Punk and Lesnar in the same ring together. Paul says he’s everything that Punk says he is and one day he’ll walk the aisle with Punk again when Punk is in the main event of Wrestlemania.

As uncomfortable as it is for everyone to hear, Heyman loves Punk and he’s not going to screw up his dreams because Punk needs a little time for himself. He’ll never represent anyone, including Lesnar, against Punk and that’s a problem between Heyman and Lesnar. Now everyone is telling Punk to get rid of Heyman so Heyman’s fate is in his hands. It’s Punk’s move and after a long staredown, he hugs Heyman and says he’s sorry for doubting him.

Darren Young vs. CM Punk

Young takes over to start and pounds him into the corner before whipping Punk across the ring. Darren stomps away and gets two off a suplex as this is one sided so far. The idea here is that Punk is all out of sorts because of the pre-match stuff. Off to a chinlock before Punk sends him into the corner for a running knee. Punk goes up but gets snapped throat first onto the top rope. Not that it matters as he comes back with the springboard clothesline for two. GTS is countered into the double knee gutbuster for two but it’s the Anaconda Vice for the tap out at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Young was trying but this was an exercise in killing time until Punk beat him. I don’t get the appeal of Young at all when he’s in the ring as he’s just a guy in trunks doing wrestling moves. Titus is a more interesting guy and far more entertaining but I guess they need to keep Young on the roster for some reason.

Post match the Players beat down Punk but Curtis Axel makes the save.

Vickie is on the phone yelling at Brad when Stephanie comes in. She’s mad that the Raw MITB participants haven’t been announced yet but she’ll go to it herself.

Here’s Stephanie to introduce the people in the WWE Championship MITB ladder match: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Christian, Kane and Rob Van Dam.

In the back, Brad says he’s been working with Stephanie on the MITB roster when Ryback comes in to demand a title match. He wants to face Cena at the PPV but Jericho comes in and says he deserves to be in MITB. Ryback gets in Jericho’s face for whining. “I could eat you alive.” Vickie screeches and makes the match between them at MITB.

Post break Punk is annoyed at Heyman for sending Axel down for the save. Next week it’s Axel/Punk vs. the Players which makes Punk even more annoyed. He’ll do the match but he’ll prove that he can do it by himself. Then he’s going to win MITB and come after Lesnar because nothing else matters to him.

Here’s Mark Henry to address what happened last week. He brags about fooling all of us last week when people were cheering for him and holding up Henry signs. Henry saw people crying because he deserves an Academy Award. He’s had people like Steven Speilberg and Tyler Perry reaching out to him but that’s not what he wants. Last week he used his friends, family and other WWE superstars and he’s not apologizing to anyone.

For years people have been telling him how to live his life and he’s not having it anymore. People told him to stop hurting little kids and to go win at the Olympics. At Money in the Bank, a no good dirty lying Mark Henry is going to show up because the people are puppets. Last week he said he’s coming home and he is, but he’s coming home WWE Champion.

Wyatt Family promo.

The main event is a street fight with 50% of the vote.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan takes it to the corner for the kicks but Orton sends him into another corner to take over. They head to the outside with Orton sending Bryan into the steps and barricade. We go back inside but Bryan baseball slides Orton back to the floor. Bryan loads up the FLYING GOAT but charges head first into a chair as we take a break.

Back with Orton bringing in a table but the time spent with it allows Bryan to moonsault out of the corner. A running clothesline sets up the corner dropkick but Bryan’s second charge hits the chair. Another table has been set up at ringside but Bryan can’t dropkick Orton off the apron. Instead he baseball slides through Randy’s legs and powerbombs him through the table in a smart move.

That only gets two so it’s time for the kendo stick shots to Orton’s shoulder. Bryan alternates with kicks and stick shots, only to charge into a t-bone suplex through the table in the corner. Back up and they slug it out until Orton dropkicks Bryan down for no cover. Orton counters a top rope rana into a powerbomb for two but takes too long following up, allowing Bryan to hook the NO Lock.

Randy grabs the kendo stick with the free arm and beats the fire out of Bryan to escape before beating on him some more. The RKO is countered into a backslide for two and now it’s Bryan beating on Randy with the stick. Back to the NO Lock but Orton gets the stick again. This time though Bryan takes it away and uses the stick to pull on Orton’s face for the tap out at 15:46.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of win that Bryan needed. He beat the tar out of Orton here and got the win in the middle of the ring with a tap out. Daniel is on fire right now and the fans are totally buying into it which is a good sign for all the hard work that he’s put into his character over the last few months.

Post match Orton shakes Bryan’s hand and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The second half of this show was WAY better with the interesting angles and good promos shining through. The other stuff however, including far too much Vickie and Brad, dragged things back down to earth. Those two are so annoying and nothing ever comes of them, making all their heat worthless. We had less time spent on McMahons as well which is a huge help, but transferring their time over to other authority figures doesn’t make things any better. It’s a good show but it needs more focus on interesting stories instead of whatever the bosses are up to.

Results

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan went to a double disqualification

Sheamus/Christian b. Rhodes Scholars – Brogue Kick to Rhodes

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Spear

Chris Jericho b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Usos b. Tons of Funk and 3MB – Superfly Splash to Tensai

CM Punk b. Darren Young – Anaconda Vice

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – NO Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @Kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: