Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny white shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Results

Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth/The Miz – Top Rope Splash to R-Truth

Mark Henry b. Sheamus via countout

Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix – Victory Roll

Wade Barrett b. Daniel Bryan – Wasteland

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO onto the steps

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Alberto Del Rio b. CM Punk – Running enziguri

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

Well we only have five matches but here we go:First of all I’ll take Beth getting the title to get it out of the way.

Bryan vs. Barrett I’ll pick Bryan but not by much.  Should be a good match.

Sheamus vs. Henry could go either way.  I’ll flip a coin and go with Sheamus but with zero confidence in it.

Christian over Orton on a hunch.  The ending to the show seems as if Christian has a plan.  I could see a cash-in here but I’m not calling it.

I’ll take Cena to win this but it could go either way again.  I rarely predict shenanigans in a major sense (with TNA it’s not a prediction of if but rather who and when so I don’t count that) but I think HHH might be up to something here.

There will probably be the Usos vs. New Nexus since if you check WWE.com, McGillicutty is officially Smackdown now.  Sounds like plans for a title change to me.

Your thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Tonight we continue the road to Summerslam with the first public statement from the champ (I think) CM Punk. HHH is still in charge and in theory JR will he here as well. We’ll probably start the building to the PPV as there are only two Raws left before the show, which has really snuck up on us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of what got us to have two champions. I still don’t see why Vince didn’t strip Punk of the title as MITB went off the air or book him in a “champion can lose the title by countout” match with anyone he could find.

Here’s Punk, still with the new song, to open the show. He holds up the belt to a solid reaction and declares that THE CHAMP IS HERE. He has a story to tell us. Punk says he knew for about a year that his contract was going to be up. He loves working in WWE but not the bosses. He spoke his mind and we managed to get some change out of it. Vince has been relieved of his duties and that’s change.

Punk takes some credit but the fans are to be thanked also. Punk is here to make this fun again but he couldn’t do that from his couch in Chicago. He made the call to come back and the timing couldn’t be better. Cena may have a belt but what Punk has is a championship title. This title means that he’s the best wrestler in the world.

Cue HHH who says he brought back Punk because it was good for business. That’s why he brought back JR and Morrison (again, when was he actually gone other than to injury?): business. Personally though, HHH thinks Punk is smug, overrated and believes his own hype too much. Punk says it’s like looking in a mirror.

The champion talks about how Vince has let guys go that are main event level talent: guys like Batista, Foley, Jericho and Lesnar. HHH says if you want to tell the truth, why not do it about why you re-signed? Punk isn’t sure about this but HHH says it’s because he wanted to hear his own voice. Punk has called the microphone a pipe bomb, but what happens if no one is around to hear a pipe bomb? He needs the WWE Universe for the platform.

Punk calls that a 50/50 shot, but the truth is that he’s the WWE Champion. HHH says that’s true but so is Cena. HHH says he’ll fix that tonight and his music plays him out. Punk says cut the music, even though he loves Motorhead. He says he’s just getting warmed up. Punk isn’t going to shut up just because he signed a contract. If Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Punk’s words) wants to talk about egos, let’s talk about HHH’s.

We get references to HHH using his power backstage that he got from sleeping with the boss’ daughter and how he held everyone down. That’s true to a degree but that’s a big debate for later. HHH says because he’s the boss, he can’t break certain rules, even though he wants to take Punk’s head off. “Can you do that, or do you need to go ask your wife first?” Punk leaves HHH who is kind of smiling.

Rey has a tag match later and Morrison dives over him. They get Miz/Truth later.

Oh great there’s a Divas battle royal next.

Divas Battle Royal

Picture every Diva who isn’t champion and they’re in this. Kelly is on commentary here. They’re going out incredibly fast. We’re down to Alicia, Beth, Natalya, Eve and the Bellas. Scratch Nattie from that. This match actually takes a break. Really? Back with more boring Divas action. Alicia is out. There’s nothing to talk about here because they’re just trying to put each other out. Even looks good in pink though. Eve is out and landed pretty badly. Beth puts both Bellas out (one on each shoulder) to win at 7:18.

Rating: D. So? It’s the same stuff as always and it never was very interesting at all. There’s nothing else to say here as most of the match was either rapid eliminations or the commercial. It was what it was and that’s about all there is to say about it. At least Beth can destroy her now.

Post match Kelly goes in to hug her like an idiot and Beth turns heel and kills her, thank goodness.

Truth comes up to Miz and says they’re a lot alike. Miz disagrees so Truth says that having two WWE champions is bad. It’s horrible. It’s…..”A conspiracy?” Miz doesn’t like this and tells Truth to leave. Truth wants to know why HHH had them in a tournament if he was just going to bring back Punk. I guess we’re ignoring Vince making that tournament now.

Cena says his focus tonight is HHH because there are two WWE Champions. The decision is tonight so Cena will be there for it.

The Miz/R-Truth vs. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Miz vs. Morrison starts us off. John keeps going after Truth which lets Miz get a shot in. Suplex gets two. Nice leg sweep puts Miz down and it’s off to Rey. Seated Senton off the top gets two. Miz is sent to the floor as is truth. Rey hits a seated senton off the apron to take Truth down and John dives over the top with a corkscrew dive to mostly hit Miz and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding Rey in a camel clutch. During the break the evildoers actually didn’t cheat to take over. Nice to see for a change. Truth continues his old school offense with an abdominal stretch. Rey fires off but it’s off to Miz who gets a seated boot for two and we hit the chinlock. Enziguri puts Miz down but he keeps the tag from being made. Back to the chinlock, this time by Truth.

Big spinning forearm gets two on Mysterio. Rey dives again for the ropes but Miz makes the save again. Nice little story there for the match. Miz hits his corner clothesline but goes up and dives into a dropkick. There’s the hot tag to Morrison who gets a solid pop. See what happens when you build something up?

He cleans house and hits the C4 to Truth for two. He loads up Starship Pain but Miz pulls Truth out of the way. Back inside an axe kick misses and a Pele kick sends Truth into the 619 position. Miz makes the save and sends him into the crowd. Moonlight Drive hits Miz but Morrison walks into that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: B. See, THIS I can get into. They built up the hot tag all match and the payoff for it was a solid reaction from the crowd. Things can be so simple and yet can still work very well. I liked it rather well here and Morrison’s mistakes were played up well by Miz and Truth, who caught him in his mistakes. Nice to see and it’s called psychology. Makes me all tingly.

Post match Truth hits Morrison with a bottle of water and Morrison takes the Finale.

HHH says nothing of note.

Summerslam Recall is Warrior taking the title from Honky in probably the best Summerslam moment for the vast majority of the series.

Here are Dolph and Vickie. I’m still not sure on the song. Vickie says her catchphrase a lot and wants to know why Dolph hasn’t been getting enough attention. Dolph says he’s more of a man than anyone in the arena and anyone in the back. Cue…..Alex Riley? I think I can work with this. Riley wants to know when Ziggler is going to accomplish something without Vickie. Dolph has Vickie step aside….and leaves.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

This is non-title and the Nexus name has been dropped it seems. King mentioned Ryder’s show before the breaHe gets the hot tag to a ROAR but gets beaten down after a brief flurry. Santino is sent to the floor and Ryder misses the Rough Ryder. He gets caught in something like a Demolition Decapitator at 2:22. This was fine.

We get some of the earlier exchange between the Game and Punk.

Punk says he’s the champ.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne runs into a boot to start and the beating begins. Del Rio’s arm work is great as the psychology of the match is perfect for him. His finisher is an arm hold so why would he work on anything but the arm? That’s basic psychology for you: why would you do something to say Bourne’s back if you’re going to work on the arm to end it? Bourne makes a brief comeback and the armbreaker ends this at 2:30.

Post match he puts the hold on again and Kofi comes out for the save.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement on who should be champion. He’s about to say it but John Lauranitis (you try to spell it) comes out and says executive VP and in charge of signing talent. HHH doesn’t look happy here. Johnny Ace (see why he got that name?) says Vince would want Cena stripped of the title. That brings out Cena who says that Ace never thinks and is the yes man that Punk was talking about.

Cena says that he’s not going to strip the title because it would devalue the title. He talks about how he wants to hit Ace again because that was his favorite part about Money in the Bank. HHH: “I don’t have any problem with that.” Ace leaves and HHH says he’s not stripping the title. Punk only came back to WWE when Cena was pinning Rey and said to hit his music. HHH again says he won’t strip the title and that brings out the other champion.

Punk doesn’t like the idea that HHH is going to strip him of the title which he has a legit claim to also. HHH says that’s not what he was going to do and tells them to quit whining. Also to Cena, it’s not Hunter. He’s Cena’s boss. At Summerslam it’s the rematch for one undisputed champion. Kind of lackluster the way he said it but it’s the only way they can do it.

HHH leaves and they stare each other down. Punk holds up his title and his music plays us out. Scratch that as Cena holds his up and that music plays us off. Punk goes onto the ropes and now HIS song plays. This is kind of awesome. Now Cena does the same but Punk’s is the last one heard after it changes like 8 times total.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hit and miss show. The HHH and Punk stuff was good and the tag match was good, but the rest of the show was building to other shows later in the future, which is ok but a little boring for a TV show. Summerslam is looking better now though as you can see a lot of the matches coming into focus. Good sign and a good building show here, but not great due to the wrestling being subpar.

Results

Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal

The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio – What’s Up to Morrison

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker

What do you all think about it?

My thoughts:

As you all know, last night the WWE board of directors gave Vince a vote of no confidence, resulting in Vince being relieved of his duties to allow HHH to take over said job.  In short, this should be a very interesting story especially with the wild card aspect of Punk being out there somewhere as world champion.  I could see Punk coming back to aide a humbled Vince as a hired gun to help Vince come back into the leadership position.

As for HHH, that’s a very interesting aspect as well.  HHH as an on screen authority figure is a great touch, especially considering he can have a quick physical fight with someone if he has to.  Unlike Vince, it wouldn’t have to be a street fight every time so we could get some longer stuff.  I can live with that, especially since HHH can probably still bring it.  He’s also a very old school mind for the business, which is possibly what the company needs.  Should be very interesting indeed.

Your thoughts?

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches.  The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways.  It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things.  I’m really not sure who to predict in this.  I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else.  Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them.  Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain.  Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already.  Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit.  Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already.  Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed.  Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center.  Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald.  Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down.  Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one.  Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline.  Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same.  Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one.  He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down.  Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring.  Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter.  They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post.  For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus.  Not a good night for the Mexican dude.  Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him.  BIG pop for Sheamus for that one.  Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder.  Scratch that as all three go to the floor.  Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now.  The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership.  Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher.  Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in.  Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead.  Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later.  Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down.  Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder.  Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save.  Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time.  Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan.  Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now.  Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think.  The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people.  Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe.  Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder.  That would be awesome.  Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him.  Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves.  Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing.  Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top.  That was cool.  Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb.  Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it.  Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT.  Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him.  Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him.  He goes onto it but doesn’t break it.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible.  That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down.  Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot.  Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit.  Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge.  Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE!  Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing.  He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end.  The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot.  I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened.  GREAT match though.

Vince is here.  Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat.  Is his memory failing or something?  No idea what you want me to say here.  They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw.  Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now.  It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd.  Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here.  Crowd is dead here.  K2 ends this at like four minutes.  Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here?  This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure.  The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time.  Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really.  It served its purpose though I guess.

Summerslam ad.  It’s in the summer you know.  Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show.  They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people.  Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is in blue here.  They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down.  Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up.  Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control.  Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in.  Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two.  Half crab goes on which makes sense for once.  Henry?  Psychology?  What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking?  Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool.  Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such.  Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three.  Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up.  World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two.  Dang I would have thought that was the ending.  Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short.  That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall.  Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed.  He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract.  Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair.  If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go.  Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap.  The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease.  The crowd is totally behind Christian here.  Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside.  These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control.  Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor.  Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO.  Jackknife cover gets two for Randy.  There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased.  Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match.  Top rope headbutt gets two.  Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999.  Even the crowd is into this now.  Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead.  Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two.  He sets for the Punt but Christian moves.  Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble.  Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him.  He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ.  Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ!  CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!!  THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff.  I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before.  Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is.  Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot.  Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena.  If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot.  Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot.  This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too.  If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music.  He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in.  Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down.  Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him.  The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible.  From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all.  Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there.  Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed.  Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype.  Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show.  Loved it.

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

I’ll get used to putting these up eventually.

Anyway we have four major matches tomorrow night:

Raw MITB

SD MITB

Christian vs. Orton

Punk vs. Cena

Your thoughts?

As for mine:

I’m going to go with Cena retaining by pin, Rey as a total in the dark pick, Orton to retain and I guess Cody to win MITB.  I have very little confidence there though so that is what it is.

Thoughts?

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for MITB and things should be rather interesting here.  It’s probably going to be either Punk’s last or next to last Raw so the talking could be great.  With Vince being around now there’s a chance he might pop up too.  Also we’ll get some build for the MITB match itself.  The interesting thing though is that the guys just got back from Australia so they’re likely going to be tired from the flight.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show with a bullhorn.  He also grabs a headset and says something to the producer on it that we can’t here.  Punk sits in the ring and asks if he has everyone’s attention now.  He says recapping is in order in case you didn’t watch, which he didn’t because he wasn’t on, so last week he was suspended for what he said a few weeks ago.  Punk sums it up by saying he gets in trouble for saying things that no one else has the balls to say.

He demonstrates the bullhorn in case the mic is cut off.  The fans are totally behind him here and there’s a loud CM PUNK chant.  He says he’s here because Vince wants to sign him to a very long and lucrative contract to WWE.  Oddly enough all he’s ever wanted is a microphone.  I think you can buy one for like 12 bucks at Wal-Mart dude.  Punk says he’s been doing what Vince has wanted to do for years: making the WWE relevant in the real world.

That has only happened twice apparently: when Punk talks and when someone dies (no names mentioned).  Everyone from ESPN to E is calling him for his story.  Punk finds it funny that only now is Vince begging him to stay.  If Vince had treated him like this for the last five years, there wouldn’t be so much ammo built up for him to use.  Punk wants a live contract negotiating tonight in which Vince might have to join Punk’s version of Vince’s old kissing club.

Cue Cena who says cut the music.  Punk thanks him for getting him a job back that he didn’t even want.  He says he’s going to change the look of the title when he wins it because it’s been far too ugly for far too long.  Punk points out that Cena isn’t going to be fire because he was once before and it lasted like a week.  Cena: “You done?”  Punk: “Probably not but would you like to say something?”

Cena says that Punk has been talking about how he’s walking out of Chicago with the title and there’s nothing that can stop him.  Cena is no pushover though and now let’s talk about the word wrestler.  People have said for years that Punk is great and that Cena is what the company thinks is great.  Everyone has said that Punk is great over the years and a lot of names are mentioned including Eddie and Angle.  We’ll see how great they both are on Sunday.  A GM E-Mail says Vince is on the way and Cena is in action next.

John Cena vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

Cena vs. McGillicutty to start and Cena treats the champions like the jobbers they are, sending him to the floor as we take a quick break.  Back with Cena in a chinlock, apparently due to interference from Otunga.  STF attempt doesn’t work and it’s off to Otunga.  The match is completely boring as the announcers rant about how important the title is.  You know, that belt that they made a second version of at the drop of a hat.

Cena takes Otunga down and it’s off to McGillicutty who gets dominated.  You Can’t See Me and there’s the Shuffle.  AA is broken up by Otunga and they hit an atomic drop/dropkick combination for two.  Superplex by McGillicutty is blocked and there’s the top rope Fameasser to set up the STF but Otunga makes the save again.  Well at least it hasn’t been total Cena dominance.  And never mind as the AA ends McGillicutty at 9:56.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but then again the Nexus are very boring to put it mildly.  I really don’t mind the champions losing again because it’s not like they’ve been built up in the slightest anyway.  Not sure why the GM would give Cena a seemingly hard match like that but maybe Punk will get one too.

Video on Henry being all dominant and evil lately.

Vickie is coaching Dolph on how to talk to Vince tonight.  The US Title needs to be the premiere title apparently so Punk and Cena need to be fired.  Vickie imitates Vince before Drew pops up and imitates him.  Dolph makes fun of “Vince” and they all make fun of his breath.  Vickie snorts when she laughs and Vince pops up behind them (big pop).  Tonight they’ll be in a handicap match against Big Show.  They leave and Vince is asks for a message for the people.  He doesn’t want to talk to the people right now.

Kelly Kelly vs. Melina

The Bellas are on commentary.  Jerry gets on Cole for saying there’s a way to tell the Bellas apart which they say doesn’t exist.  Kelly is in trouble early but takes over, uses a Stinkface for no apparent reason and hits the K2 to retain at 1:45.  Total nothing match.

Post match the Bellas say Kelly is way to skinny and wears way too much makeup.  They beat her down and Eve comes out for the save.  The Bellas leave her laying.

Quick recap of Miz destroying Riley after losing to him last week.

Here’s Miz and there are ladders everywhere.  He climbs up to the top of one underneath the MITB case.  He knows what it means to win the case and be world champion.  He’s taken that path before and since he’s the future, he’ll do it again.  Miz says he’s used to being above everyone else because he’s the best.  Cue Swagger who points out that he’s won the case and the title before.  Miz: “If someone cashed in MITB and no one remembers it, did it really happen?”

Cue Bourne who says he’s tired of hearing about what they’ve done so he’s going to talk about what he’ll do Sunday.  Bourne gets a running start and slides into the ring feet first with no hands.  Here’s Kofi who says the exact same thing that everyone else in the match is going to come out and say.  He talks about Edge getting hurt in these matches or something like that.  Truth comes out and talks about beating Cena recently.  He’s afraid of heights too, and there better not be any spiders on the ladder because he’s afraid of them too.  If he opens that case and there’s a spider, the grits will hit the pan.

Here’s Riley because six promos about one match isn’t enough.  He comes out at a spring and Miz runs.  Here’s Alberto in a Mercedes.  He got rid of Rey and now has to do all this all over again.  Oh and something about destiny.  An E-Mail makes a six man that starts right now.

The Miz/Jack Swagger/R-Truth vs. Alex Riley/Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston

No Alberto or Rey here.  Back with the match already in progress with Bourne vs. Swagger.  Off to Miz as Cole talks about how awesome Miz is.  Everyone beats down Bourne for a bit with Truth in the ring at the moment.  Bourne gets a knee to the face and it’s hot tag to Kofi.  He comes in off a springboard and starts jumping all over the place.  Boom Drop to Truth.  He loads up Trouble in Paradise but stops to hit Swagger.

There’s the springboard cross body to Truth but Miz saves.  Truth knocks him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Kofi getting beaten down by Miz.  Off to Truth who gets a two count.  Kofi manages to get a double DDT to Truth and Swagger and tags Morrison.  He hits a bunch of stuff on Swagger and beats on Miz a bit because he can.  Everything breaks down and Riley hits the inverted DDT on Swagger for the pin at 10:45 total.

Rating: C. Just an average match here with nothing of note going on.  You get almost the same match every year and it’s really not all that interesting.  Not a bad match or anything but really just kind of there.  They need to go with six people in the match instead of 8 as there are just too many of them that way.  Not bad, but the same stuff we always see out of these.

Everyone hits their finishers post match until Alberto comes out and destroys everyone with the ladder, including throwing it at Miz’s arm.  Bourne was holding his ankle too.

We recap the ending of Raw last week with Vince and Cena talking about everything involving Punk.   If Cena loses at the PPV he’s fired.

McIntyre/Ziggler vs. Show up next.

Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler vs. Big Show

Show is all mad here.  Ziggler starts and looks at Show.  He tags out immediately so Show beats them both up.  Show dominates Drew as Ziggler hides.  Drew tries to leave and gets mauled by Show.  McIntyre gets thrown up the stage and it’s a countout at 2:00.

Show sets to chokeslam McIntyre off the stage but Henry comes out of nowhere and tackles both of them off the stage.  Henry goes flying also.  Drew just kind of disappears.

Henry doesn’t want help to the back.

We get a clip of Alberto destroying everyone earlier, setting up a long highlight video on MITB matches.

We run down the card for the PPV.

Punk and Vince are up next.

Vince comes out three times because the reaction isn’t strong enough for him.  No handshake for Cole.  He shakes hand with someone at ringside that is either famous or really lucky.  There’s a table and a red carpet in the ring.  He doesn’t want to negotiate in person but he’ll do it here.  He wants to get this over with so get out here.  Punk imitates Vince’s walk as is required by WWE law.

Vince’s chair falls down as he sits in it.  The contract has the provision for a Punk collector’s cup in it apparently.  Punk talks about how this contract proves that Vince has no faith in Cena.  Vince says he couldn’t live with himself if Punk somehow wins the title on Sunday.  He actually calls Punk Phil.  Punk doesn’t like the contract that’s made up so he had his lawyers make a new one.  Punk has already signed this one.

One of the provisions is he gets to push Vince.  Apparently Punk wants respect or he’s leaving with the title.  Apparently that wasn’t a provision.  The first is that he wants a jet.  As in a new one, not Vince’s because that one smells.  Punk wants his face on the Tron, the buckles, spoons, knives, forks, cups, everything.  HE WANTS THE ICE CREAM BARS BACK!!!  Punk is officially better than everyone.  That actually gets a HUGE reaction.

He wants CM Punk The Movie.  You can even call it the Chaperone II, although his will be funny and successful.  Oh and the main event of Wrestlemania will be Punk vs. whomever he’s against.  The last major perk is that he wants an apology for the suspension and for Vince being a huge hypocrite.  As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, Vince is one of the biggest bullies Punk has ever met.  The fans are eating up every word Punk says.

Punk says his friends have worked here and they have been fired.  Vince says they deserved to be fired and Punk says that Vince is out of touch for firing people like Luke Gallows and Colt Cabana.  Vince doesn’t want to apologize so Punk throws the table over.  The fans want something that was either ice cream or wrestling.  Vince doesn’t care what the people want and Punk says that’s the point.

The fans want an apology right now and Vince actually says he’s sorry.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana as Vince picks up the contract to sign it.  Here’s Cena though who points out that even though the fans are cheering for him now, Punk is walking out on them Sunday.  Cena calls him a terrorist and says they’re both like kids.  Cena says he hates Vince too and makes stupid jokes.

Now we get to the awesome stuff.  Cena tells Punk that he’s lost sight of what got him here.  Punk talks about how at Wrestlemania 23 he was riding on the side of Cena’s car with a Tommy gun, saying that he promised himself that one day he would be in the ring with Cena instead of watching him.  Boston prides itself on being the underdog but now Cena is the WWE Champion and has become exactly what he hates.  Now he and Vince are the New York Yankees.  Cena drills him and Punk bails.  Apparently the man Vince shook hands with was Cena’s dad.

Punk sits on the stage and says that illustrates why he wants to leave.  He’s tired of all this and he’s leaving on Sunday.  Say goodbye to the WWE Title, say goodbye to John Cena and say goodbye to CM Punk.  He tears up the contract and does You Can’t See Me to end this.  The ending segment ran a bit too long and it hurt things.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty awful but the show got pushed very hard tonight.  The Raw side is built on two matches and those were pushed very hard indeed.  Anything else that happens at the PPV will be bonus material so it’s hard to complain about the lack of wrestling.  Ok no it isn’t but it’s more forgivable here.  Not a great show but for a go home show for this particular PPV, this was fine.

Results

John Cena b. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty – AA to McGillicutty

Kelly Kelly b. Melina – K2

Evan Bourne/Alex Riley/Kofi Kingston b. The Miz/R-Truth/Jack Swagger – Inverted DDT to Swagger

Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre went to a double countout

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 4, 2011
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re still in Vegas as this show was taped last week.  It’s the 4^th of July so expect a lot of Vince’s patriotism to shine through.  We have the Punk promo that everyone has been talking about to get through tonight which should definitely be interesting.  Vince himself might bere here too so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week which is the same as the Raw ReBound from Smackdown.

There’s a triple threat match for the #1 contender spot: R-Truth vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio.

Riley vs. Miz tonight….again.

Here’s Cena to open the show and he’s very serious it seems.  He talks about how Punk has said some stuff that has ticked off WWE management.  Due to those comments he’s been suspended indefinitely and loses his title shot.  There’s a triple threat match tonight and we’re just supposed to forget Punk existed.  Cena thinks that sucks.  The two of them have never seen eye to eye but Punk has been suspended for speaking his mind.

Cena says it’s unfair that someone has had his freedom of speech taken away.  He references the Bryan tie choking incident and the removal of various signs.  If the WWE Universe is silenced and Punk is silenced, what’s next?  The fans chant 1^st Amendment and Cena agrees.  If they can sweep Punk under the rug, what’s next?  He wants answers and he wants them from Vince himself.  Vince is on the way and Cena will get his answers tonight.  Solid opening.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

All of the girls looking good of course.  Eve starts with we’ll call that Brie.  Eve dominates to start and makes fun of the Bellas.  She gets tossed over the top though and might have hurt her shoulder.  Off to Nikki who works over the arm.  Eve finally escapes for the hot tag to Kelly who cleans house.  She hits the headscissors and the Stink Face.  Bulldog gets two.  K2 ends this clean at 3:14.

Rating: C. The arm work here was actually pretty good and showed some rare psychology in a Divas’ match.  Not bad actually as the whole thing worked pretty well.  Having the girls look good in their tiny outfits is always a nice perk.  I know the Divas aren’t going to amount to much anytime soon but it’s nice to see a decent little match like this every now and then.

Video on Andy Levine of Tough Enough.  It’s a bunch of trainers and him talking about Silent Rage and how they need to get him to let it out more often.

Truth is on the phone with what sounds like an insurance company.  Scott Sanford comes up to ask him about the triple threat.  Truth says he’s happy because he just saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.  Oh and he’ll win as Alberto comes up.  “First Little Jimmy, now Senor Jimmy?”  Alberto says it’s about destiny and Truth isn’t that impressed.

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

Apparently Mason Ryan is hurt.  Santino and Otunga start us off with Otunga in control briefly.  Santino tries the Cobra but David bails.  Off to McGillicutty who doesn’t do that well either.  Kozlov comes in and manhandles McGillicutty a little bit.  Double teaming by the champions takes Kozlov down and work their basic offense on the Russian.  He blocks a double suplex and brings in Santino.  Marella takes down everyone and loads up the Cobra, but McGillicutty manages to get a boot to the ribs and the McGillicutter ends this at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak tag match here.  No idea why the titles weren’t on the line as they never deliver them anyway.  There really aren’t any teams on Raw to defend against anyway so I’d like to see them head to Smackdown once in awhile.  Nothing of note here and really pretty boring.

Post match, Zack Ryder comes out and says Woo Woo Woo You Know It and that’s it.  Literally, he came out, said the catchphrase and smiled at the ring.

Miz is in the back and says there’s a golden opportunity to get a shot at Cena but because of Alex Riley, Miz doesn’t get a chance to get the shot.  Tonight he’s taking Riley out for good.

Evan Bourne is in the back with Sergeant Slaughter.  He’s going to lead the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Swagger comes up and says that he should get to do it.  We even get a reference to the Gulf War angle back in 91.  Slaughter says everyone makes mistakes, like Swagger’s parents when they didn’t use birth control.  A match is made for later.

Vince’s plane arrived earlier.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

Post match Sarge gets put in the ankle lock and Evan Bourne makes the save.  Sarge gets to do the Pledge of Allegiance.

We get a clip of the pretty cool destruction of the cage last week by Henry.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

No entrance for Del Rio.  Whoever wins this is replaced by someone else in MITB.  Alberto takes over to start and a kick to the back of the head gets two on Rey.  Del Rip misses a charge and heads to the floor as Truth comes back in.  The spinning forearm gets two.  Everyone is on the floor now with Truth in control.  He sends both guys into the railing and gets two on Rey back in the ring.

After beating Rey down a bit more he hits a dive to keep Del Rio down.  Spinning side slam gets two on Rey as Del Rio is back in.  Truth hammers on Rey some more but Del Rio gets Truth onto his shoulders as we get a modified Doomsday Device with Truth taking the majority of the blow.  We take a break with everyone down.

Back with Del Rio choking Rey on the ropes and Truth nowhere to be seen.  Rey tries to fight back but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.  Del Rio sets for an O’Connor Roll but Truth pops up to hit Alberto in the face.  In a cool spot, Truth hits a sunset flip on Del Rio who still has his hands on Rey, meaning Rey takes a German suplex.  Backstabber to Truth for two.  Axe kick gets two but Del Rio breaks it up.  Alberto is sent to the floor as Rey hits the top rope splash to Truth.  Alberto runs back in and throws on the cross armbreaker for the tap from Rey at 13:07.

Rating: C. Just another triple threat match for a title shot.  I’m really getting tired of matches like these determining title shots rather than angles setting up matches, meaning they’re set up on emotion and hatred.  Still though that’s the modern method of doing things so it’s what we get.  Anyway, this was nothing special but the sunset flip/German suplex spot was cool.

Back with a recap video of the first MITB match and cash-in.

There’s a party setup in the ring and the cake says Happy Birthday Dolph.  Oh ok it’s because he’s US Champion and this is the birthday of the US.  Vickie sings Happy Birthday to Dolph.  Ziggler says there will never be another him and he’s awesome.  Forget Punk and Cena and the WWE Title because as long as he’s US Champion, it’s the only title that matters.

Here’s Kofi because we haven’t seen them fight enough.  Kofi says he should have been invited to the party.  He also says that Dolph can’t beat him without Vickie.  His eyes are very bloodshot.  Dolph says beat it so Kofi shoves him into Vickie who goes into the cake.  They brawl a bit and Vickie is knocked into it again.

Video on Miz’s MITB stuff last year.

The Miz vs. Alex Riley

We get a quick video about Riley during his entrance.  Riley gets all aggressive and takes over but messes up an attempt to throw Miz over the top.  He takes him out there anyway and keeps hammering.  Miz catches him coming back in though and takes over.  Off to a cravate and then a short DDT for two.  Vince is on his way to the arena.  Riley gets in some punches but walks into a flapjack for two.

Miz keeps hammering away and gets a reverse DDT for two as we take a break.  Back with Riley ramming Miz’s head into the mat to take over.  He gets all fired up and hits a spinebuster for two.  Inverted DDT is countered by a northern lights suplex though and hits the corner clothesline.  Miz tries the Reality Check but gets caught in a backslide for the pin at 9:10.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it’s good to see Riley keep getting pushed, but eventually they have to let Miz get a win over someone.  I can’t think of the last time he won something.  Anyway, not bad here and probably about equal to their match at the PPV, which is a good sign for Riley.

Post match Miz snaps and beats Riley down, including Riley having his head rammed into the steps while Miz yells at him.  A running boot puts Riley over the announce table.

We see the same video from the beginning of the show.

Here’s Vince to talk about Punk.  Vince says that Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  He has a story about Punk.  Punk’s contract is expiring very soon and Punk wanted to have limos, first class flights, to be on DVDs etc.  Punk was suspended because he deserved it.  Punk is just that: a punk.  Vince goes to leave and here’s Cena to say not so fast my friend.

Cena says that’s not enough for Punk and says Punk was using his freedom of speech.  Vince is very pro-freedom of speech right?  “That’s why your microphone is still working pal.”  Cena remembers that when Vince used to walk down the aisle every week (required Vince walk impression included) and took on whatever was in front of him.  Vince took down Turner but he just suspended Punk for talking about him.

Cena wonders if the grapefruits are gone.  He still wants to fight Punk and if Vince doesn’t want to fight, maybe he should hang it up “old man”.  Vince says he really suspended Punk out of fear.  He’s afraid that Cena can’t beat him and Punk takes the title away with him wherever he goes.  Cena says he wants the match and so do the people.  God forbid we risk embarrassing Vince.

To Cena this is the biggest PPV of the year because of everything up against him.  We get a reference to Punk riding on Cena’s car at Mania 22 in Chicago.  However, Vince won’t let it happen because Vince didn’t like what Punk said.  Would Vince ever do that to Cena?  Vince says we don’t do this in public.  “Don’t be Hogan.”  Vince says it’s his company, not Cena’s, so does it really matter?

Cena says that’s not what he signed up for.  He gets that everyone is replaceable and that he shouldn’t be afraid of losing.  Cena hands the title to Vince and walks away.  Vince freaks out and more or less begs Cena to come back.  Vince says wait a minute and takes the belt with him up the ramp to Cena.  Vince hates this but the match is back on and Punk is reinstated.  However, if Punk walks out of Chicago with the title, Cena is fired.  Cena’s stunned look at Vince ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The problem here is a very obvious one: this show revolved around two promos and other than them, not a single thing on this show mattered.  The triple threat is proven to be completely inconsequential given the announcement at the end of the show.  The lack of it being live and the crowd being burned out after four hours of Raw didn’t help anything.  This was a very bad episode of Raw and one of their weakest in a long time.  The featured promos keep it from being a failure though.

Results

Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly b. Bella Twins – K2 to Brie Bella

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – McGillicutter to Marella

Jack Swagger b. Sgt. Slaughter – Corner pump splash

Alberto Del Rip b. Rey Mysterio and R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker to Mysterio

Alex Riley b. Miz – Backslide

I can’t believe I didn’t put something up on this sooner.

As I’m sure you’ve all seen by now, Punk had an awesome promo on Monday that was at least somewhat shoot.  What are your thought on where he’s going and what he’ll be doing in the future?

At the moment, I’m thinking he’s going away, at least for awhile and that Cena gets the clean win.  I think we’re probably building this up too highly, because the whole thing ends with a single fall.  I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t think it can end any other way.