NWA TNA Weekly PPV #5
Date: July 17, 2002
Location: Nashville Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

We’re back for another batch of these things and the promotion is not in good shape. Save for the X-Division, the shows are just not very good and there isn’t much of a way around it. Ken Shamrock isn’t an interesting World Champion and Brian Christopher is still getting a lot of attention for whatever reason. Then there’s Jeff Jarrett, and I mean a lot of Jeff Jarrett, on top of everything else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jeff Jarrett going all nuts and attacking Ken Shamrock with a chair last week.

Shamrock doesn’t have any comment but he’s ready to show how mad he is.

Opening sequence.

Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett, the latter of whom is ready to be in a ladder match for the #1 contendership to the World Title, brawl in the back and fight outside. The fight is broken up and executive Bill Behrens says Jarrett has forfeited his spot in the match.

Here is Malice (Jarrett’s scheduled opponent) with Father James Mitchell, so it’s open challenge time for the #1 contenders ladder match. The lights go out and….let’s get this over with as fast as we can.

Malice vs. Sabu

Ladder match for the #1 contenders match and Sabu starts fast with a tornado DDT. Malice isn’t having that and chokes him down before grabbing a chair. A backbreaker plants Sabu again and Malice sends him face first into a chair in the corner. It’s time to get the ladder, which Sabu dropkicks into Malice’s face. The triple jump dive to the floor drops Malice again before bridging the ladder between the apron and the barricade.

That takes way too long though and Malice drops him onto the ladder, followed by a World’s Strongest Slam onto it as well. Naturally Sabu is right back up with a springboard leg lariat into the ladder into Malice for another knockdown. It’s way too early to get the contract though as Malice powerbombs him down, followed by a nasty overhead belly to belly into the ladder.

Malice goes up but Sabu dropkicks the ladder out and chairs him in the head. Sabu kind of bulldogs the ladder down onto Malice, who is right back with a spinebuster. Malice’s climb up the ladder is cut off with a shove through a table, allowing Sabu to pull down the contract and win at 13:29.

Rating: C+. This could have been worse, as Sabu could still move and fits in far better with this kind of carnage than a regular match. If nothing else it adds a bit of a spark, as Sabu is a big enough name to be slotted into the World Title scene, even if it is for the short term. Besides, Malice’s time in the title scene has already been wrapped up so it is time to see someone new get a shot.

Post match the Disciples of the New Church come in to beat on Sabu and a super chokeslam puts him through a table.

Jeff Jarrett and Scott Hall are still being held apart and Jarrett is ejected.

Here’s AJ Styles for an unscheduled chat. Styles calls out Jerry Lynn, who storms to the ring and says Styles must want to know why Lynn jumped him last week. Lynn says he’s been wrestling for fourteen years and done more in this business than Styles has done in his lifetime.

Styles hasn’t done anything or even had to sleep in his car eating peanut butter sandwiches. Lynn gave him a chance when they teamed up and he isn’t going to stand for the disrespect. Styles lays him out and hits the Styles Clash. This was fine and to the point, but commentary responding to EVERYTHING either of them said took away a lot of the impact.

We look back at Jasmin St. Clair stripping for Jeremy Borash and Ed Ferrara making sure it happened in a funny bit.

Francine jumps St. Clair in the back and throws her in the shower.

K-Krush vs. Norman Smiley

Before the match, Krush brags about star power (he even SMELLS like a star). Why did the NWA put him in the ring with a NASCAR driver? They were afraid he was going to become something they couldn’t control and then they would have to sell his t-shirts. He’s been treated as a second class citizen despite being better than everyone. It’s because he’s a Black man, and he’s the truth.

With that out of the way, Krush knocks Smiley down into the corner but Smiley is back with the swinging slam. The Big Wiggle into a faceplant plants Krush again but he hits a spinning forearm to cut that off. Back up and a Russian legsweep gets Smiley out of trouble but Krush plants him with a sitout gordbuster for the win at 3:25.

Rating: C-. This really didn’t work, mainly because they went from a rather serious promo from Krush into something totally goofy, which is all Smiley did at this point. Smiley did have some status, but you probably shouldn’t be having the Big Wiggle after someone went on a rant about how he was being held back because of his face. Krush should have squashed him, but maybe don’t let Smiley get in that much goofy stuff.

Post match Krush takes off his belt and whips Smiley before hanging him over the top. Smiley’s wife comes out for the save and gets choked as well. This isn’t going to go well and it wasn’t exactly comfortable stuff anyway.

Puppet is in a trashcan and all annoyed about his match with Meatball. It’s implied that he is, uh, doing something rather personal with his hand.

The Dupps are all weird and make inappropriate comments about Goldilocks.

Flying Elvises vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper

Estrada is sent outside to start and Skipper hits a quick dive. Back in and Siaki takes over on Skipper before it’s back to Estrada for a butterfly suplex. Siaki joins commentary for a second to brag about how awesome he is before stomping away back inside. Estrada comes in with a double springboard moonsault but Skipper gets over for the tag to Daniels.

A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Estrada but Siaki’s cheap shot from the floor lets Estrada get in a quick knockdown. Skipper comes back in as everything breaks down, with Estrada hitting a springboard moonsault. Daniels hits a much less springboardy but far better moonsault for two of his own. Siaki and Daniels fight to the floor, meaning there’s no count off Skipper’s Play Of The Day. Instead Siaki comes back in for a rolling cutter to finish Skipper at 9:50.

Rating: C+. This was a fast paced tag match with the Elvises stealing the win over the rather talented Daniels/Skipper team. The tag division is still coming together and it is kind of hard to make that work. Putting teams together work though and this is the kind of match you have to use to make that work.

Post match the Dupps run in to take out the Elvises.

Scott Hall jumps K-Krush and leaves him laying without much trouble.

Meatball vs. Puppet

Hardcore match and Puppet jumps him to start, setting up a ram into a trashcan. Meatball knocks him to the floor though and it’s an ax handle from the apron. The fight heads up towards the entrance, where Meatball pulls some food from a shopping cart to mess Puppet up a bit. A dropkick sends a chair into Meatball’s face and a DDT gives Puppet two. Puppet hits a middle rope Fameasser onto a chair and a Vader Bomb onto a chair onto Meatball is good for the pin at 6:16.

Rating: D-. Oh come on. This was stupid, it wasn’t funny, the whole thing went on too long and this whole deal feels like such a waste of time. I’m sure someone gets a kick out of this but it’s just not working, with the gag of Puppet being a hardcore wrestler having lost the charm which barely existed in the first place. Just find something else to fill in the time.

Here is a damaged Jasmin St. Clair to call out Francine.

Francine vs. Jasmin St. Clair

It’s a brawl to start, they both lose clothes, Blue Meanie comes in to DDT Francine for the DQ at 1:25. This was all about the clothes and nothing more.

Meanie carries St. Clair off and Francine is taken out on a stretcher.

We look at some of Low Ki’s and AJ Styles’ signature moves.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

Ki is challenging and they wrestle to the mat to start. Back up and they chop it out to a standoff until Ki takes him down. Ki strikes away as fans look at someone holding a sign, with security seemingly going after him. Styles gets in a slam and a flipping splash but Ki knees him to the apron.

Ki misses an Asai moonsault but he’s able to kick Styles in the face to cut off a dive. They slug it out on the apron until Ki gets a dragon sleeper in the ropes. Styles uses said ropes to escape and grabs a brainbuster for two. The Spiral Tap misses but Styles reverses a fireman’s carry into a Death Valley Driver for a needed breather. It’s Ki going up but he dives into the Styles Clash to retain Styles’ title at 10:36.

Rating: B-. These two work well together and that shouldn’t be a surprise given how well they have done in previous matches. It wasn’t exactly an epic showdown or a classic match, but they were working hard and it didn’t feel like two old rejects from WCW. Styles continues to be the breakout star around here and that is likely to continue if he’s going to keep doing this well.

Post match Jerry Lynn spears Styles down and gives him he piledriver. A ladder is brought in and Lynn suplexes him into it for the nasty crash.

Scott Hall vs. Brian Lawler

Before the match, Lawler rants about how stupid people have to be to be Jerry Lawler fans. The challenge is issued again and Brian throws in some Jim Ross insults for a bonus. Hall sneaks up behind him and after even more ranting from Brian, Hall finally punches him down to get going. Some right hands send Brian outside and even more knock him off th announcers’ table.

The beating goes around ringside until Brian gets in a shot of his own to take over. Back in and Brian hammers away as there are an awful lot of empty seats on camera. A suplex gives Brian two and, after insulting the fans some more, he goes up but gets slammed off the top. Hall’s belly to back superplex connects and, after taking out K-Krush, the Outsider’s Edge finishes Brian at 8:43.

Rating: C-. At the end of the day, these matches just aren’t very good. They’re a bunch of punching, a few other moves, and then the finish. It doesn’t help when Brian is doing basic heel stuff straight out of the Memphis playbook, but that is only going to do so much to get him around the fact that he’s Brian Lawler and won’t shut up about his dad. Hall didn’t do much more than his signature stuff, which is only so good at this point.

Post match Brian and Krush beat Hall down and hang him over the ropes.  Hall goes out on a stretcher but Jeff Jarrett runs in with a chair and wrecks Hall and pretty much everyone not named Lawler or Krush.

Overall Rating: C. There is some passable stuff on here but the bad is dragging it all the way down. Other than that, the good stuff, which is mainly centered around the less goofy people, is watchable enough. In other words, as has been the case, there is a decent show here if you get rid of the terrible parts. The problem is there is quite a bit of terrible and a lot of it is getting the focus. Fix that and this goes up in value, but it isn’t looking likely anytime soon. Ultimately, the biggest issue is that I have no idea what the biggest story is supposed to be around here and I don’t think the company does either.

 

 

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #3
Date: July 3, 2002
Location: Nashville Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

We’ve got more titles to establish this week with the Tag Team Titles being set up this time. So far the World and X-Division Titles have gone well enough so maybe they can continue the trend. The shows are still not exactly great though and they have a long way to go with what they are doing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card and hype up the main event of Jeff Jarrett/K-Krush vs. Scott Hall/Brian Christopher.

NWA President Jim Miller joins us to present the promotion with a trophy. Other than that though, he is bringing in a new star to face the winner of tonight’s World Title match.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Johnsons

Mortimer Plumtree is here with the Johnsons. #1 drives Harris into the corner to start but gets armdragged down, followed by some left hands. It’s off to #2 for a double toss into the air to Storm, followed by a double shoulder for two. One heck of a double backdrop puts Storm down again but #1 comes off the middle rope for the sole purpose of diving into raised boots. Storm scores with a superkick and hands it back to Harris to clean house. Everything breaks down and Harris hits a spear on #2, setting up a crossbody. #2 pulls him out of the air, only to have Storm add a missile dropkick for the pin on #2 at 4:42.

Rating: C. This is where the promotion is coming off as a bit of a mess, as you have a good, young team in AMW who could go somewhere but their two matches have been against comedy/joke teams. That is only going to get them so far and shows what happens when you have the wrong people putting everything together. The match was pretty run of he mill, but the faster they find some serious opponents for AMW, the better things will be going.

Post match Plumtree yells at the Johnsons and gets laid out.

Here is Scott Hall for a chat but Jeff Jarrett cuts him off before he can get started. Jarrett isn’t impressed but Hall tells him to bring it. Jim Miller cuts Jarrett off though and Jarrett says he’ll see Hall in the main event…as K-Krush jumps Hall. That earns K-Krush a fall away slam and a clothesline out to the floor. Well that was short.

America’s Most Wanted has been attacked and left bloody.

Monty Brown vs. Anthony Ingram

This is Brown’s debut and he cuts a promo before the match, which is drowned out by his music. Brown slugs away to start and hits a running powerslam, setting up the Alpha Bomb (slam lifted up into a powerbomb) for the pin at 1:32. Total destruction and Brown is a ball of charisma.

Jim Miller has gone missing but Puppet comes in, saying he wants to beat up either Gary Coleman, Mini Me or the midget from the Howard Stern Show.

Buff Bagwell and Apollo are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Rainbow Express vs. Buff Bagwell/Apolo

Joel Gertner is here with the Express. Bagwell hiptosses Bruce to start but stops to pose, allowing Bruce to send him into the corner. Cue Alicia to get money from Ed Ferrara as Apolo comes in with a powerbomb for two on Bruce. A Gertner distraction lets Lenny come back with a running DDT and Apolo gets stomped in the corner. Lenny’s slow crawl over Apolo doesn’t sit well and Apolo is back up with a full nelson slam for two. Buff comes in to slug away but a crossbody to Lenny…doesn’t work as planned, leaving Apolo to TKO Bruce. Lenny makes the save and sends Apolo outside, setting up a superkick to finish Bagwell at 5:49.

Rating: C-. There wasn’t much to be seen here and that shouldn’t be a shock, as you have a makeshift team losing to a comedy team but they went with a clean pin instead of any kind of cheating. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling match and it wasn’t like Bagwell was one to lead a match if need be. And now we are on the way to a rematch from last week with AMW vs. the Express, assuming the former can go, which isn’t the most thrilling idea.

Post match Bagwell is mad about losing to “two gay guys” and quits.

Here is World Champion Ken Shamrock for a chat. He wants to fight anyone but here is James Mitchell for a distraction so Malice can jump Shamrock before their title match tonight. So the champ is easily dupped. Got it.

Jim Miller is busy and doesn’t have time to talk to Jerry Lynn.

Puppet vs. Todd Stone

This is the result of Puppet wanting to “kill a midget”. Puppet slugs away with a kendo stick and trashcan as this is apparently anything goes. Stone gets slammed onto the trashcan, which is then put onto his head for a beating with the kendo stick. A fireman’s carry faceplant onto the trashcan finishes Stone at 1:45. This was stupid, as you probably guessed.

Post match Puppet chases the referee to the back.

We’re not sure if Ken Shamrock can defend the World Title.

We look at Francine being annoyed at losing the lingerie battle royal and beating up the winner, Taylor Vaughn.

Francine vs. Taylor Vaughn

And never mind as Francine whips out a belt to beat her like last week. Vaughn takes it away and whips her instead…and only Vaughn is disqualified.

Post match Ed Ferrara comes in to raise Francine’s hand but she puts his hand on her chest. Then she slaps him.

Here is Hermie Sadler for a chat. He thanks the NASCAR fans for coming out tonight but here is K-Krush to interrupt. K-Krush doesn’t like race car drivers and insults him, so Sadler gives him a spear. The match is made for next week.

NWA World Title: Malice vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is defending and Malice has James Mitchell with him. Shamrock comes straight to the ring without any notable problem so the whole injury angle seems to have been a waste of time. Malice jumps him before the bell and hammers away on the floor before choking on the ropes. That’s not enough so Malice lifts him up for more choking, setting up a legdrop for two.

Shamrock can’t get a cross armbreaker so Malice sends him outside in a heap instead. Back in and Malice hammers on the banged up neck (which was apparently hurt in the backstage attack, though you wouldn’t know it as Malice jumped him before the bell anyway), which he bends around the top rope. Then Shamrock fights up and hits a belly to belly out of nowhere to retain at 5:53. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C-. What was that? Malice jumped him, beat him up and then loses to Shamrock’s one move. That’s straight out of the mid-90s Randy Savage playbook and that is not meant as a compliment. Shamrock feels like he is living off his reputation as champion and that’s a really bad sign just two weeks into his reign.

X-Division Title: David Young vs. AJ Styles

Young, with Bobcat, is challenging. Styles flips over him to start and hits the dropkick but the bigger Young hits a running shoulder for a knockdown. Back up and Styles sends him outside for something like a running Buckshot Lariat out to the floor. Young breaks up the springboard back inside but Styles is fine enough to flip out of a German suplex. An overhead belly to belly sends Styles into the corner for two and a running kick to the head gets the same.

Bobcat answers a phone call as Young grabs a headscissors choke, which just fires Styles up. That earns him a suplex back down and Young grabs the chinlock. Back up and Styles hits a superkick for two before striking away, only to walk into a spinebuster for two. They go up top together, where Styles gets in a shot to the face and hits a super Styles Clash to retain at 8:45.

Rating: C. Young wasn’t much of a challenger here but Styles got to show just how smooth he can be in the ring, which is quite the sight to behold. There is a reason he has become one of the early bright spots around here and being able to move that way has a lot to do with it. This was all Styles and that is what it should have been.

Bobcat gets in the ring to celebrate for some reason and Young is rather confused.

Joel Gertner and the Rainbow Express are ready to win the Tag Team Titles. If AMW can’t wrestle, it makes things even easier.

Tag Team Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Rainbow Express

For the vacant titles and Joel Gertner is here with the Express. Hold on though as AMW can’t wrestle but we have replacements.

Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn vs. Rainbow Express

For the vacant titles and yes this is indeed a Vince Russo booked show with tag partners who do not get along. It’s a brawl to start and the Express is sent to the floor, with Lynn hitting a dive. The tired Styles hits a dive of his own and it’s time to head inside, where Lenny and Lynn fight over a German suplex. Bruce gets sent face first into a low blow on Lenny, who is nice enough to kiss Bruce’s hand for a tag.

Lynn is sent to the apron for a slingshot Fameasser to drop Bruce but he’s back up with a quick low blow to take over. Styles breaks up Lenny’s Liontamer but Bruce gets in a cheap shot. Lenny gets two off a delayed vertical suplex and Bruce counters a headscissors into a faceplant for two more.

The figure four necklock has Lynn in more trouble but he’s back up for an exchange of countered piledrives. Lynn gets in a DDT and that’s enough for the tag off to Styles to pick up the pace. Lenny hits a Skull Crushing Finale on Styles but gets caught with the cradle piledriver. Lynn and Bruce go to the floor, leaving Styles to hit the Spiral Tap on Lenny for the pin and the titles at 12:23.

Rating: C. This was long and showed that the Express really wasn’t much in the ring. The problem is that the team is only around because of their gimmick and that gets old very fast. I could go for seeing more from Styles and Lynn, but they’re going to need better opponents to make that work.

Lynn isn’t sure about this but he’ll take a title.

Jim Miller has been attacked with the letters FU written on his stomach.

Brian Christopher/Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett/K-Krush

Fallout from last week’s big brawl. They start fast and fight into the crowd with Hall and Jarrett fighting into one of the dancers’ cage. Christopher takes over on Krush and sends him inside, only to miss the Hip Hop Drop. Hall is back in with a chokeslam to Krush but gets jumped by Jarrett. We settle down to a regular match, with Christopher missing a charge into the corner, leaving Hall and Jarrett to knock each other down.

Krush comes in for a running spinning forearm, which kind of goes flying over Hall’s back. Hall rolls through Jarrett’s high crossbody for two, leaving Jarrett to grab a sleeper. As they’ve done hundreds of times, Hall reverses into a sleeper of his own, only for Jarrett to easily break it up.

Krush’s reverse chinlock is countered into an electric chair drop, followed by a double clothesline for…well not a tag off to Christopher, as he hits Hall in the face instead. Hall beats all of them up at once and hits the Outsider’s Edge on Krush, only for Christopher to break up the same thing to Jarrett. The Stroke into the Hip Hop Drop lets Jarrett get the pin at 11:43.

Rating: C. This match showed the biggest problem with this story: the matches aren’t very good and even worse, they’re not interesting. If Brian Christopher turning on Hall a full week after joining up with him in the first place is their best idea, they don’t have much to go on here. Hall feels like a star and he has a history with Jarrett, but that doesn’t exactly scream top story in 2002.

Post match Jarrett yells about how many times he’s beaten Hall before knocking him outside. The trophy (from the beginning of the show) is broken over Hall so a stretcher is brought in. That’s not enough for Jarrett, who drops an elbow off the apron onto Hall onto the stretcher. Jarrett is still not done and turns the stretcher over while ranting about how he should be World Champion.

Commentary previews next week’s show as Jarrett stomps away one more time to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C-. There are some good points here, but the wrestling ranged from dull to pretty lame throughout the two hours. That being said, the promotion is still only three weeks old and there is only so much you can tell from that little time. The show still feels big, but they are going to need to make things a good bit more interesting than what they are doing so far. It’s just not that good and it was showing badly this week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #1
Date: June 19, 2002
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

I’ve tried to do this series more than once and it has never quite worked but I might as well try it again. I’ve done the first 18 before but since it’s been so many years and I can’t even remember what happened, we’ll just start from the beginning. This is of course the new Jerry Jarrett promotion that was designed to fill in the gap left by WCW and it went…well yeah. Let’s get to it.

Commentary gets their entrances and we get an intro to the company, as well as the rules for tonight’s Gauntlet For The Gold (basically a Royal Rumble with a singles match at the end) for the World Title.

We open with an in-ring legends ceremony, with some big names included:

Harley Race
Dory Funk Jr.
Jackie Fargo
Bob Armstrong
Corsica Joe
Bill Behrens
Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat has the World Title and talks about how important the belt is to him and everyone else in the ring. Tonight you will see the Gauntlet For The Gold for the title and Steamboat will be the guest referee when it gets down to two. Cue Jeff Jarrett to interrupt and he hates the whole idea. Fargo doesn’t want to hear it and puts Jarrett in the Gauntlet at #1. Cue Ken Shamrock to say he doesn’t like this either, but Jarrett isn’t beating him up. Cue Scott Hall through the crowd (fresh off being thrown out of WWE) to say quit crying about the match because that’s how it’s going to go.

Puppet the Psycho Dwarf thinks his match should start the show because he’s the real star.

AJ Styles/Low Ki/Jerry Lynn vs. Flying Elvises

The Elvises would be Sonny Siaki/Jorge Estrada/Jimmy Yang and they jump the other three to start. Lynn is right up for a dive onto Siaki as Styles powerslams Yang. Lynn comes in with a backbreaker for two on Yang as this is all action to start. Back up and Yang sends Lynn into the corner for the step up moonsault kick too the chest. It’s off to Siaki, who gets sent into the corner so Ki can come in to strike away. An over the shoulder backbreaker plants Ki before a Samoan drop into a moonsault gets two.

A neckbreaker out of the corner into a running shooting star press gets two on Ki but he’s back with a heck of a kick to the head. It’s back to Styles for the springboard moonsault into the reverse DDT for two as everything breaks down. Lynn Cradle Piledrives Estrada but walks into a fisherman’s neckbreaker from Siaki. Ki kicks Styles by mistake though and Yang Time (twisting moonsault) is good for the pin on Styles at 6:27.

Rating: B-. And that’s how TNA starts. They weren’t kidding with the “total nonstop action” part as they had all six people going nuts out there and cramming in as much stuff as they could in about six and a half minutes. That isn’t much time to work with but Styles looked like a star and Lynn looked like the established veteran while Ki was the hard striker. Throw in a kind of awesome gimmick like the Flying Elvises and how can you go wrong?

Teo vs. Hollywood

It’s a midget match and Teo, the World’s Smallest Extreme Athlete, jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner. Tenay talks about how Rey Mysterio was asked to be a midget wrestler when he started. Ferrara: “And what happened?” Tenay: “Obviously he didn’t.” Thanks for that Mike. They trade rollups for two each until Hollywood knocks him down and hits a top rope splash for two. Teo comes back with a Russian legsweep into a top rope twisting Swanton for the pin at 2:49. Short and pretty much what you would expect here.

Apparently Teo stands for Totally (Totally E) Outstanding.  That’s….eh it’s kind of clever.

Ferrara gets in the ring and announces next week’s lingerie battle royal, with Ferrara and West bringing out various women who will be included, such as Francine, Shannon (Daphne), Alexis Laree (Mickie James), Elektra (from ECW) and more. Francine says none of these women can compare to her but Elektra doesn’t want to hear about extreme. The brawl is on and clothes are ripped off.  This was what you would think it would be.

Mortimer Plumtree, a rather nerdy manager who carries a paddle, brags about the force of his rather obedient tag team: the Johnsons.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

That’s quite a team to face off against the guys in flesh colored outfits meant to resemble a certain body part. Storm is a cowboy of course but looks more like a flasher in a cowboy hat. He does at least have some cap guns to make it more authentic. Richard sends Psicosis hard into the corner to start and snaps off a suplex for two. The Johnsons are sent into each other though and Storm dropkicks Rod down.

Cue Alicia (Ryan Shamrock) to watch, with commentary being glad for the camera to pan out and show the rest of her. Psicosis comes back in for a basement dropkick but the Johnsons plant him with a double flapjack. A t-bone suplex drops Psicosis again as commentary makes rather lame jokes. Psicosis faceplants his way out of a powerbomb attempt but the Johnsons snap off stereo suplexes. Everything breaks down and a sloppy TKO finishes Storm at 4:54.

Rating: C-. For a match that was all about making various awful jokes over one idea as many times as possible, this was surprisingly dull. Psicosis and Storm are as thrown together as you can find and while the Johnsons were a decent power team, they couldn’t be more one joke if they tried. It’s designed to make the writers laugh and if they have to go for a joke on the first show, so it be I guess.

Post match Alicia talks to the referee, who pays her.

The Dupps (Stan, better known as Trevor Murdoch, and Bo) go to have beers with their cousin Fluff but they aren’t allowed to wrestle.

Here are NASCAR drivers Hermie Sadler and Sterling Marlin for a chat. Marlin is the current season points leader and is ready to go race in California this week. Cue K-Krush (R-Truth) who is sick of hearing about race car drivers. He’s a real athlete instead of someone who drives around in a circle.

Sadler mocks Krush’s look and says this place is full of NASCAR fans. Krush isn’t interested but Brian Lawler (Grandmaster Sexay) runs in for the save. The drivers get to beat Krush up and Lawler issues the challenge for next week. Seems to be on. Commentary going back and forth between Brian Christopher and Brian Lawler isn’t a good sign.

Jeff Jarrett is choking Jackie Fargo.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Dupps

The Dupps, with Fluff (the cousin AND girlfriend), are as stereotypical of a hillbilly team as you could get. York gets dropped to start but Matthews comes in with a double springboard dropkick. Bo strikes away on Matthews and hits a standing splash for two. Back up and Matthews clotheslines his way to freedom, allowing York to come in and clean house. Everything breaks down and York hits a tornado DDT but Fluff breaks up something off the top, allowing Stan to get the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C. York and Matthews are a good team for a pair of young, athletic stars but there is only so much you can get when you have a one note comedy act. The Dupps are about as dumb of a team as you can get, save for the team that we saw in the previous match. One team showed potential while the other was awful, so guess which team won.

Here’s the video for Toby Keith’s How Do You Like Me Now. He’s no Hardcore Holly.

Here is Keith to sing Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue live and, after quite a lengthy performance, Jeff Jarrett interrupts. Jarrett: “How do you like ME now?” Keith is held back.

NWA World Title: Gauntlet For The Gold

The title is vacant coming in (as Dan Severn was stripped of the title due to not defending it here), there are twenty entrants with ninety second intervals and it’s a battle royal until the final two entrants. Jeff Jarrett is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 to slug away and hit the running neckbreaker. The Blockbuster connects but a charging Bagwell is sent out with a backdrop. Lash Leroux is in at #3 And they both head outside (not eliminated) to slug it out.

Back in and the Stroke connects, with Leroux being easily tossed. Norman Smiley is in at #4 as the remaining time is skipped if there is only one person in the ring. Good for fans, totally unfair to the lone wrestler. Jarrett blocks the Big Wiggle and tosses Smiley without much trouble. Apollo (a rather big and muscular wrestler from Puerto Rico) is in at #5 and manages to send Jarrett to the apron for some stomping but can’t get him out. K-Krush is in at #6 and saves Jarrett from a gorilla press, setting up an ax kick to Apollo. Slash, with James Mitchell, is in at #7 as Apollo fights up.

Jarrett saves Slash for no logical reason and the villains hammer on Apollo again. Del Rios is in at #8 as the ring is starting to fill up. The rather large Justice (soon to be known as Abyss) is in at #9 and hits the yet to be named Black Hole Slam on Del Rios. Slash adds a reverse DDT to Del Rios and it’s Konnan in at #10 to pick up the pace.

That gives us a grouping of Jarrett, Apollo, K-Krush, Slash, Del Rios, Justice and Konnan, which is quite the collection. Here is Joel Gertner to limerick Bruce (better known as Kwee Wee in WCW) at #11. The entrance takes so long that almost nothing can happen before Rick Steiner is in at #12. Slash is eliminated and Justice follows him as Rick clears some of the ring. Malice (formerly known as The Wall in WCW and Slash’s partner in the Disciples Of The New Church) is in at #13 and throws out Bruce, K-Krush, Del Rios and Konnan before low bridging Steiner out. Apollo skins the cat to stay alive and it’s Scott Hall in at #14.

A superkick drops Malice and Hall hits the Razor’s Edge to plant Jarrett. Toby Keith is in at #15 (oh dear) and suplexes Jarrett (who can’t hide that he’s doing the work) before tossing him out. Keith walks out, seemingly eliminating himself, leaving us with Hall, Apollo and Malice. Chris Harris is in at #16 to pick up the pace but the Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) follows him and seems to be in as well. Devon Storm (formerly known as Crowbar) is in at #17 (I think?) and gets to hit some people but no one is tossed.

Steve Corino is in at #18 and seems rather happy to be here. Mitchell gets in a cheap shot to cut Corino off as Ken Shamrock is in at #19. Some rather hard striking abounds until Malice catches him with a chokeslam. Harris is sent to the apron but comes back in to hammer on the Warrior. Brian Christopher is in at #20, giving us a final grouping of Hall, Apollo, Malice, Harris, Warrior, Storm, Corino, Shamrock and Christopher.

Harris, Storm and the Warrior are out in a hurry and Christopher knocks Corino out as well. Shamrock kicks Christopher down and throws him out before Malice does the same to Apollo. Hall is tossed as well and it’s Shamrock vs. Malice for the title, with Ricky Steamboat as referee.

Malice puts him down rather quickly and gets two off a side slam. Shamrock’s sunset flip is blocked but the chokeslam is countered into a cross armbreaker. Malice grabs the rope so Shamrock grabs the ankle lock, with Malice going to the rope again. For some reason Shamrock just pulls him back and doesn’t let go, so another rope has to be grabbed for the real break. Shamrock even yells at Steamboat (no one yells at Ricky Steamboat) before countering a chokeslam into a belly to belly suplex for the pin and the title at 37:37.

Rating: C+. There were definitely names involved here and it made the match feel more prestigious. A match like this is about setting the standard for the main event scene going forward and Shamrock is a good choice to start things off. Malice felt like a monster but there is only so much you can get out of that monsterness when Shamrock beats him in a few minutes. For now though, this is the right call and you know that Jarrett is going to have something to complain about.

Commentary talks about the night but here is Jeff Jarrett to yell at Dory Funk Jr., Harley Race and Bob Armstrong over how a World Title shouldn’t be decided in a battle royal. Jarrett drops Funk and Armstrong so here are Jackie Fargo and Toby Keith to yell. Fargo says he’ll get Scott Hall to fight Jarrett next week. Hall runs in and brawls with Jarrett to end the show. They’re the biggest stars in the company but it’s not a great idea to put them out there just after crowning a new World Champion.

Overall Rating: C-. Oh this was a rough start, with only a few bright spots. The main event was good enough and the opener worked, but the obsession with the country/southern stuff and the dumb “comedy” tag teams were just bad. It’s not a show I’d want to keep watching, but in theory they were going for the idea of having no alternatives to WWE. Call it a case of anything being better than nothing, but egads they have a lot of work to do.

 

 

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