Monday Night Raw – April 27, 2015: King Me!

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 27, 2015
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules but the more interesting story is the return of the King of the Ring tournament. The tournament is back for the first time in seven years with the finals being held tomorrow night during a Network special. Other than that we have all the Extreme Rules fallout to get through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are the King of the Ring brackets.

Dean Ambrose

Sheamus

Neville

Luke Harper

R-Truth

Stardust

Dolph Ziggler

Bad News Barrett

Rollins, Kane and the Stooges open us up. Rollins brags about what he did last night and runs down his resume in recent weeks. It was clear that Rollins was going to win from the start last night and the SKO (yes SKO) out of nowhere was a nice touch. Seth says you need good soldiers and thanks Kane for his help, but the monster isn’t happy with that. After some yelling and comparing Rollins to Justin Bieber, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt.

Randy gets right to the point: due to Rollins cheating last night, it’s time for a rematch. This brings out Roman Reigns who seems to think he has a case for a title shot as well. While standing on the announcers’ table, Roman talks about their history together and thinks it’s his turn for a shot at the title. Rollins says no but Kane says it’s going to be up to the WWE Universe.

King of the Ring First Round: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Before the match, Ziggler swears payback on Sheamus. Perhaps at Payback? Barrett punches him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the face. A quick dropkick puts Bad News on the floor and we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking him in the face and knocking him to the floor. Ziggler is right back in there though and counters Winds of Change into the running DDT.

Barrett gets back up in a hurry though and gets two off Wasteland. The Bull Hammer is countered with a superkick for two but here’s Sheamus with stills of the post match humiliation from last night. The distraction works as Barrett Bull Hammers Dolph from the apron to advance at 8:24.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case, not enough time means not much of a match. This is a common occurrence in tournaments: you have to get so many matches in that you have to keep things moving, meaning there’s no time to get anywhere with a lot of them. You can pretty much pencil in Ziggler returning the favor later on.

Here’s New Day for Big E.’s match, but before the match, Woods wants to thank all of the clappers out there. It’s not just a New Day, but it’s time for a new clap, so try this one on: New Day ROCKS! You can imagine the fans’ reaction.

Big E. vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd goes right after Big E. to start but slingshots onto E.’s shoulders. Tyson quickly escapes though and kicks Big E. in the head before stomping to the beat of the chants in the corner. A running kick to the face from the apron knocks E. down again but Big E. hits a clothesline with Woods holding Kidd’s foot for the pin at 1:25.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo gives Ryback one chance to walk away before the beating begins, but he makes sure to insult the Packers fans in the audience. After a GO PACK GO chant, Ryback slugs Bo down but Dallas gets in a series of forearms to the back for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Ryback destroys him with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are enough for the pin at 2:06.

Post match we’ve got Wyatt in the ring to stare down Ryback and hit a quick Sister Abigail. I can dig this feud, and no I don’t think we’re seeing/need a Bo Dallas/Bray Wyatt connection.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. Last night he was on a high after defending the title against Rusev again, but then he saw Rusev and Lana announce one more match for the title. It’s an I Quit match at Payback, which sounds right up Cena’s alley. He’ll never say he quits, but he if does, there’s no rematch because Cena couldn’t face himself anymore. As for tonight though, the challenge is open.

US Title: Heath Slater vs. John Cena

Slater has a mic with him and says he’ll win the title tonight and become the US Champion of the world. He talks about recreating Aaron Rogers’ Discount Double Check but gets kicked in the head by Rusev. Lana comes out waving but gets sent to the back as Rusev rants about the fans giving up already. No match. The Russian flag drops, which makes Cena get all serious. Why doesn’t he just talk to the production staff and not let them put the flag in place?

Kane explains that the fans can vote for who faces Rollins on the WWE App, sending Rollins into a frenzy. He threatens to call HHH or Stephanie so Kane gives the fans the option of making it a triple threat. Seth is livid.

King of the Ring First Round: R-Truth vs. Stardust

Truth wants to win so he can get rid of all spiders. Stardust wants to become King of the Stars. The Cody chants start up as Stardust nails him in the jaw coming out of the corner and stomps Truth in the back. A chinlock keeps things slow and Stardust busts out a cartwheel. Booker: “Why?” Truth comes back but misses the ax kick. They trade rollups for two each until the Disaster Kick is countered into Little Jimmy (called the Lie Detector) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. Truth was the obvious winner as soon as Barrett won, which is one of the things that gets old in a hurry about tournaments. Once one guy wins, it’s almost obvious who is going to win the next match because some matches just aren’t going to happen. Nothing to see here with an obvious winner.

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango starts fast by sending Rose to the floor for a big dive, only to be distracted by Rosa Mendes, who was disguised as a Rosebud. The surprise allows Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:50.

Rosa can’t believe Fandango picked the fans over her and kisses Rose. This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.

We go to Renee Young with Brie Bella, who is WAY too happy to be discussing her husband’s health. Renee brings up Bryan and the smile goes away. Did they just not tell her what they were talking about? They want Bryan back in the ring and are so grateful for the fans’ support, but Naomi comes up and shoves her down. No one cares about Brie or Bryan apparently.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

That’s a very quickly signed match. Naomi gets in a cheap shot from behind to start, followed by a hard forearm to the face. Thankfully Nikki is on the floor so we don’t have COME ON BRIE in a mic this week. Brie comes back with a running faceplant and BRIE MODE. The middle rope dropkick gets two but Naomi gets a horrible looking small package (Brie’s shoulder wasn’t being touched and there was no reason she couldn’t raise it off the mat) for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see, but my goodness how much easier are the Divas to sit through when the stories are a bit more logical? Naomi is a jerk and attacked Brie when she was talking about her injured husband. That minute long segment set up the match and made perfect sense. Why is that so hard to do so often?

King of the Ring First Round: Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

Dean’s decrees if he becomes King: remove all tariffs on ale, ban pop-country and have all disputes settled in street fights. They shove each other into the corner to start until Sheamus drops Dean with a shoulder. Dean takes him to the mat and ties up the legs to try a wrestling match, earning him a right hand to the face. Dean’s bulldog is countered but he hits a forearm to send Sheamus outside as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting his release suplex slam. Ambrose finally scores with the rebound clothesline and both guys are down. Back up and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Dean to send him shoulder first into the post. A powerslam from Sheamus looks to set up White Noise but Dean counters into Dirty Deeds, which is countered into the Cloverleaf.

Dean gets to the ropes for the break and has to fight out of the ten forearms. The top rope standing elbow gets two before they fight to the floor with Dean clotheslining him off the announcers’ table. A Brogue Kick out of nowhere nails Ambrose but Dolph runs in for the DQ at 12:41.

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the obvious ending. As I’ve harped on all night: tournaments are the most predictable thing in wrestling, but fans always clamor for them if you just slap the King of the Ring name tag on there. I was digging the heck out of this match until Ziggler ran in though, which is a shame.

The best part here comes from Dean after the match: “I GET DQ’D FOR THAT???”

Here’s Damien Sandow for his first comments after last week. Three years ago he arrived in the WWE in a blue bathrobe and said he would enlighten everyone. After that he was told he just wasn’t entertaining enough so he started going insane imitating people (complete with stills of some of his better/worse moments, depending on your taste). This culminated in Damien Mizdow, which lost him some respect among his peers but gained him the respect of the WWE Universe, which is more important than anything else he could have. He isn’t sure where he goes from here, but Curtis Axel comes out to help guide him a bit.

Axel can’t stand someone not knowing who they are and trying to be someone else. So WHATCHA GONNA DO…..but Sandow cuts him off by imitating everything Axel says like a four year old does and eventually punches Axel out and drops the Wind Up Elbow and a legdrop for good measure.

Bray Wyatt talks about learning to play with fire but doesn’t know if Ryback will ever learn. Will Ryback ever learn, or will he always be obsessed with himself? Ryback is transparent and Bray knows what scares him. Tonight was only the beginning so run.

Tough Enough audition tapes.

King of the Ring First Round: Neville vs. Luke Harper

Neville grabs a headscissors to start and kicks Harper to the floor, setting up a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Harper knocks a springboarding Neville out of the air for two to take over as we go to a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harper to the floor for a top rope Asai Moonsault to drop Harper again.

Neville gets two off a standing shooting star but Harper just kicks him in the face and plants him with a half nelson suplex. The big sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper and the fans think this is awesome. They head to the corner with Neville kicking him in the head, setting up a sunset bomb from Neville. The Red Arrow connects for the pin to send Neville to the semi-finals at 10:17.

Rating: B. That was by far and away the best match of the night for multiple reasons, but above all else it was due to the match being a tossup. I could have seen either guy going over here and that makes things far more interesting. Good stuff here with Neville’s rocket push working more and more every week.

Here are the final four.

Barrett

R-Truth

Neville

Sheamus

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins/Kane

Reigns takes Rollins into the corner to start so Randy can kick him in the ribs. Rollins bails to the floor so it’s off to Reigns vs. Kane with the former planting him with a side slam. Back to Kane who pulls Orton into the corner for some stomping as JBL won’t shut up about how unfair the idea of a triple threat is. We take a break and come back with Rollins holding Orton in a chinlock.

That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go as Orton fights up with a t-bone suplex, setting up the tags to the power guys. Roman fires off clotheslines in the corner, capped off by a big one from the middle rope as everything breaks down. The Authority is sent to the floor but Mercury break up the big dive. Roman follows Joey around and winds up walking into an uppercut from Kane to take over again. Reigns wins a slugout with Rollins so the champ kicks him in the face for two.

Kane scores with the side slam for two before putting on a bearhug. The slow beating continues until Roman finally slams Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Orton. Everything breaks down again and Reigns powers out of a chokeslam, only to have Rollins dropkick Kane by mistake.

Mercury is thrown into Kane, allowing Orton to hit the elevated DDT on Seth. The RKO is countered into a rollup, followed by the low superkick to knock Randy to the floor. Seth tries a suicide dive but hits Kane, sending the monster into a rage against the Stooges. An uppercut drops Rollins and it’s the Superman Punch into the RKO for the pin on the champ at 18:38.

Rating: C+. Longer than it needed to be here but the ending did what it was supposed to. At least Kane isn’t going to be added into the title picture, but it’s not the most interesting story in the world regardless. Reigns getting back into the title hunt is a good idea though and it sets up a more interesting match at Payback.

Triple threat gets 78% of the poll. This would be more surprising if WWE hadn’t spoiled the results last week. Rollins eats a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t the best but it had two major stories going on at the same time. The tournament was the standard for a first round of a tournament and the poll results were never in doubt, but they kept the show moving enough with far more action than talking, which is more important than anything else. Good enough show here as they’re finding a good balance to make things work and get through these never ending rematches.

Results

Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer

Big E. b. Tyson Kidd – Clothesline with Woods holding the foot

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Stardust – Little Jimmy

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Small package

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Seth Rollins – RKO to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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WWE Releases King of the Ring Brackets

I’ve seen worse.Dean Ambrose
Sheamus

Neville
Luke Harper

R-Truth
Stardust

Dolph Ziggler
Bad News Barrett

 

Not bad other than basically giving Barrett/Ziggler a bye into the finals.  I’m assuming it winds up with Sheamus vs. Ziggler again because WWE loves their rematches.




John Cena To Issue Open Challenge For US Title Every Week

Mild spoiler from Smackdown but it’s not that big of a deal.  Now this is an interesting one.I REALLY like this idea as it’s exactly what the title has been missing.  Booking a title strong is really one of the most basic ideas in wrestling: make it look valuable.  Seriously that’s about it.  If Cena has a line of people waiting to challenge him for the title, it instantly becomes something of value and therefore better than it was before.  The matches are almost guaranteed to be entertaining and a pretty high quality with Cena out there as well.

 

The other major perk of this is it can elevate people by just having them rub elbows with Cena.  Remember when Sandow cashed in his briefcase and had the best match of his career?  Imagine that from Fandango, R-Truth, Jack Swagger, Neville, Erick Rowan, Adam Rose, Titus O’Neal and I think you get the point.  Wrestling John Cena is instantly going to make people better, much like wrestling Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  No they aren’t likely to win, but it makes for an entertaining match and gives them a big rub.

 

I completely approve of this and the longer it lasts the better.




Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Intercontinental Title

Reach for the sky.

I’m not a fan of these matches. They take away the entire idea of having a wrestling match and throw everything together into one big mess for the title. Yeah it’s going to be a lot of fun and has the potential to steal the show, but I really would have preferred a straight match or even a multiman match to this big mess.

Second complaint: I know I’ve ranted on this already, but I really didn’t like having the title being passed around. What was that supposed to accomplish? It’s better than having the champion lose every week, but why am I supposed to care that someone keeps taking the belt itself away? As Barrett kept saying, that’s his title and he shouldn’t have to keep taking it back from people. It’s like when Hogan thought he had won the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania IX when Jimmy Hart counted the pin: he REALLY should know better than that.

Just like in the Tag Team Title match, let’s take an individual look at each guy before I get to my pick.

Stardust – Why is he in this? He lost last month and now he’s in a big time title match because the belt is his precious? This is a name you could have easily left out of things and no one would have noticed a difference. If nothing else just cut his spot and let the match have fewer people in it so things can breathe a bit more.

R-Truth – He’s here for the comedy and nothing more. No one buys him as having a chance at winning the belt and I can’t really see why he needed to be in here. He’s the guy you throw out there to give the champion a fluke loss (which happens WAY too often) and not someone you put in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Luke Harper – Former champion, had a great ladder match with Dolph Ziggler and deserves a push where he DOESN’T LOSE EVERY MATCH AS CHAMPION. I don’t see him as having much of a chance, but you always need someone in there as a power guy to throw the small guys around and make them look good.

Dean Ambrose – He’s finally finding a niche for himself in the midcard and is the one that started this whole thing in the first place. I really liked what he said when he talked about wanting to be the Intercontinental Champion because it meant something back in the day. Then he started walking off with the belt like it was a ball on the playground because that’s how you make a title legitimate right? I’d love to see Dean win and become the midcard star, but given his track record, he probably gets lost coming to ringside and winds up fighting Torito or something.

Daniel Bryan – Boy what a difference a year makes doesn’t it? It really is amazing what a simple broken neck (or whatever it was) can do to mess up your career. Bryan would be the most logical pick to win here but for some reason I don’t see him doing it. For one thing, he’s a bit too popular to give a win in back to back years because the WWE knows who we should be cheering for. Side note about Bryan: this is the fifth different title he’s fought for in five Wrestlemanias.

Wrestlemania XXVII: US Title

Wrestlemania XXVIII: World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXIX: Tag Team Titles

Wrestlemania XXX: WWE World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXXI: Intercontinental Title

He might be the only guy to ever do that.

Dolph Ziggler – You have to have a guy like Ziggler in a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with being that guy. He’ll have some big spots, get close to winning the title, get the second biggest reaction of the match and come up just a bit short, because WWE is totally cool with having him get nowhere after making him the star of the Survivor Series main event.

Bad News Barrett – My goodness what is their problem with this guy? It seems like every time he gets the title he goes on the biggest losing streak ever but gets to hold his head high and win the big match at the end, meaning we’re supposed to forget about all those losses. That would be fine in theory if Cole wasn’t reminding us of the losses every 18 seconds, but that’s too much logic for them to follow.

Overall though, I don’t think Barrett gets the big win this time. It’s probably what we’re getting from the whole thing, but I’m going on a limb and picking Ambrose. He’s over with the fans, could be made into a main event guy one day and started this whole thing. WWE owes him a big win anyway after all the stupid endings with the Rollins and Wyatt matches. They’ll probably go with Barrett to make me want to drive my head through a wall, but I want to see Ambrose take it.

Oh and Sheamus could be added as the eighth guy. If he does, I’ll go with him again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Monday Night Raw – March 23, 2015: The Last Ditch Effort

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 23, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re at the final show of a pretty short build to Wrestlemania and they’re already in California. This is the final show before Wrestlemania and it’s time for the big push for all the matches. On top of that we have Snoop Dogg and ESPN’s Bill Simmons, who has been feuding with JBL on Twitter, in the building as well. Because that makes me want to see Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with Sting. Well that’s a bit better. What isn’t a bit better is Cole babbling about fourteen years ago and all the WCW stuff. This is STING on Raw. We don’t need commentary right now. Sting says this is what it feels like to start Raw. Over the last fourteen years he’s watched HHH manipulate and undermine his way to the top of WWE. HHH must think he’s unstoppable and that there’s no consequence for his action. Even though Sting is the last soldier in some forgotten war. He’s not here to fight for WCW because that would be ridiculous at this point (REALLY good idea to drop that idea).

Instead he’s here to take HHH down…..and here’s freaking Stephanie. Are you kidding me? Sting got to talk for 90 seconds and she just has to interject herself now? Booker: “I don’t think Sting knows how to handle Stephanie.” Oh screw you too whoever told him to say that line. She goes into her usual schtick but Sting calls her a spoiled brat who buys her own hype and thinks she deserves this. Sting: “But it’s nice to meet you Steph!”

Stephanie recaps the end of the Monday Night Wars (about two minutes after Sting said this wasn’t about WCW) and says you can only paint a dog up so well. She doesn’t want to insult dogs by comparing them to Sting and ripping on WCW. So I guess her and Shane buying WCW and ECW is just forgotten. She loads up the slap but Sting grabs her arm and Stephanie is STUNNED. Cue HHH to thankfully save this segment and take off his jacket. Stephanie pulls out the sledgehammer but Sting of course has the bat ready. That’s still just a perfect visual. HHH leaves so Sting drops the bat and tells him to come on.

Well enough of that cool segment. Time to plug the App and show Divas standing in the back!

Dean Ambrose/R-Truth vs. Luke Harper/Stardust

Barrett is on commentary. Truth sends Stardust to the floor to start where the CODY chants annoy him. It’s off to Harper vs. Ambrose as the announcers talk about the betting odds for the ladder match. Everything breaks down and the good guys clear the ring as we take a break. Back with Stardust holding Ambrose in the chinlock before an Alabama Slam gets two near falls in a row.

Harper throws Dean down as well and sets him on the top before tagging Stardust back in. A superplex attempt doesn’t quite work and Dean falls to the floor for a clothesline to Harper. He follows it up with a tornado DDT as Stardust is running the apron. Truth comes in to clean house and gets two off his sitout gordbuster with Harper making the save. A superkick drops Truth but Harper eats the rebound clothesline and a suicide dive. The Little Jimmy puts Stardust away at 10:40.

Rating: C-. The match was fine and it’s nice to see Truth get a win for the a change. The ladder match has the potential to steal the show if they let these guys go nuts, but I’m going to roll my eyes if Barrett walks out with the title. At least they’ve cut back on the stupid title stealing, but it’s going to wind up being one of those moments that makes me roll my eyes, only to be harmless at the end of the day.

Barrett wisely runs off with the belt before anyone can steal it. Truth gets Dean to do a little dance post match.

Some Special Olympians are here.

Video on Reigns, centered around a sitdown interview. He talks about how Lesnar has built up a mystique but backed it up. Reigns says he can and he will defeat Brock. Believe that.

Miz and Mizdow interviewed Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart about their new movie earlier today and of course the actors like Mizdow.

Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose vs. Prime Time Players/Ryback/Zack Ryder/Erick Rowan

Bill Simmons from ESPN is on commentary. The fans want Mizdow but get Titus giving Miz a backbreaker. Titus suplexes Young onto Miz as Simmons talks about Lesnar. Rose steals a tag that was meant for Mizdow but eats a discus forearm and atomic drop. Off to Rowan for a fall away slam of his own, followed by a Broski Boot from Ryder. This might be Ryder’s longest Raw match in at least a year.

Ascension comes in and stomps away on Ryder but Mizdow returns the favor to Rose by tagging himself in. He cleans house and takes off his glasses but Miz demands to be tagged back in. Ryder finally scores with a faceplant and dives over for the tag to Ryback. Everything breaks down and Miz charges into the Meat Hook, setting up Shell Shock for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: D. These are always hard to grade as there’s really nothing you can do with so many people out there. This was an easy way to help set up the battle royal, even though Ryback is probably the only guy in the ring that has a real chance of winning on Sunday. Decent enough match and a nice way to get all these guys on TV for a change. I still feel sorry for the Ascension though as they’ve fallen through the floor. Not as far as Ryder but that’s rare company. Simmons was fine but did almost nothing here.

The fans choose Randy Orton’s opponent.

Big Show: 11%

Kane: 12%

Seth Rollins/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble: 77%

Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Randy Orton

Mercury starts but quickly tags out to Noble. That goes as well for Jamie as you would expect but Rollins gets in a cheap shot from behind to give Noble an opening. Orton comes back with a powerslam and double Elevated DDT, only to avoid a Curb Stomp attempt. Rollins runs so Jamie takes the RKO (which looks awkward since he’s so short) for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This was an angle instead of a match, though I have no idea why Rollins needed to officially be on the team. He could have done the same thing as a manager outside but at least he didn’t get beaten up or pinned. This was the best thing they’ve done in the disaster of a build up for these two and it continues to be a good use of the Stooges.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Cena, who talks about how important it is to bring the US Title back to America so he can represent it around the world, including in Russia.

Nikki Bella has offered either AJ or Paige a Divas Title match tonight but they have to pick who gets it. Neither girl wants to take it over the other but Paige says AJ is crazy if she doesn’t take it. You know what that does to AJ and tension is teased.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Nikki is defending but gets speared down and hammered with right hands to the face. The champ heads outside for a bit before taking Paige down with a clothesline. We stop for some unnecessary pushups, allowing Paige to take her back outside and regain control. Back in and a facebuster gets two for Nikki as we take a break. We come back with Paige fighting out of a chinlock but walking into something like a spinebuster for two. A double clothesline puts both girls down and it’s Paige up first with her three clotheslines and a running dropkick for two of her own.

Nikki comes back with a horribly missed spinning kick out of the corner for two, only to walk into a superkick for the same. Rampaige is countered into a small package for two before Nikki hits an Alabama Slam (that’s becoming a really popular move). The Rack Attack is countered but Rampaige only gets two. They fall to the floor and AJ knocks out Brie, only to hit Paige by mistake, allowing Nikki to hit the big forearm. AJ is stunned as Nikki hits the Rack Attack for the pin to retain at 10:42.

Rating: C. Storytelling here again but I’ll give them credit for a good surprise on the kickout of the Rampaige. I’m still not sure why the title isn’t on the line Sunday, as it’s not like belts have never been up for grabs in a tag match before. This was fine though and Nikki has improved exponentially in the last few months. She would still be overwhelmed if a match ever got above second gear, but she’s gone from a disaster to totally watchable and that’s a big upgrade.

Paige and AJ get into it post match.

Here’s tonight’s other guest star Snoop Dogg, wearing what looks to be pajamas and accompanied by a lot of dancing Divas. He talks about how awesome Wrestlemania is going to be, but Curtis Axel cuts him off. Curtis says Axelmania is running wild and here to stay. Axel calls him a clown that’s been popping up on Twitter. He’s been waiting for Axel to show up because he needs to see the real mania. Cue Hulk Hogan to talk about pressing Andre over his head in front of 94,000 fans. He’s a fan of Snoopmania, but he’s not sure about this Axelmania. “What’s this brother smoking over here?” Axel tears his shirt off but eats a right hand before Snoop throws him to the floor and reveals a Hulkamania shirt. Posing ensues.

For those of you that call wrestling predictable, I ask you this: if I had told you three months ago that on the go home show for Wrestlemania, Hulk Hogan would confront Curtis Axel, how insane would I have sounded?

We look back at the Brock interview from last week.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

Rematch of the interspecies match from Thursday. In case you love this moronic comedy you see. The Usos and Naomi are on commentary as Cesaro throws Fernando down to start. Torito comes in to face Natalya but it’s just a tease as Kidd and Diego come in. Cesaro offers a cheap shot so his partner can take over with a chinlock. Back up and Kidd dives into a dropkick and the double tag brings in Cesaro and Fernando as the fans do not seem interested. Everything breaks down and Torito sunset flips Natalya for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D. Six days before Wrestlemania. Six days.

Barrett has to give Kane the Intercontinental Title and doesn’t want to let it go again. Then he just gives it up after wasting thirty seconds of our time.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title. Rusev elbows him in the face to start and hammers away in the corner. Just Accolade him now and stop wasting our time. The fans want Lana as Rusev stomps away and we hit a chinlock. Jack fights up for a big boot and a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Swagger gets caught on the middle rope and clotheslined back onto the mat. The superkick and Accolade end Swagger at 4:37.

Rating: D+. My goodness I’m over seeing these two fight. Bring back the nameless jobbers instead of just having him destroy Swagger over and over again. We know what’s coming anyway, so why bother crushing Rusev like this? It’s such a waste of time and the little crowd reaction he gets at this point, so stop hurting him.

Rusev won’t let go so Cena comes out for the save. The brawl is on but Rusev takes him to the floor and posts Cena and throws him over the table. Rusev goes to leave but comes back for a running superkick. The announcers’ table is loaded up and Cena is thrown on top, setting up the Accolade on the table. Cena blacks out again.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He wants to know why people hide from the truth. Is it because you’re afraid for them to know who you are? Each and every single one of us are guilty of hating the people that looks at them in the mirror every morning. That’s why you put on makeup to cover all the inconsistencies inside of yourself. It doesn’t change the fact that every one of you is a liar.

Bray isn’t a liar though. His tongue is a sword of truth and cuts through the lies of this world. The Undertaker lies as well, but the angle with the burned wings has been sent to take him back to the other side. Thunder starts to rumble but Bray says this belongs to him now. He judges the living and the dead and he has judged Undertaker as guilty. Undertaker will feel Sister Abigail’s kiss on Sunday and Bray will be the new face of fear. AWESOME promo here and maybe Bray’s best ever.

Kevin Nash Hall of Fame video.

Natalya overhears Tyson Kidd talking to his Burger King and gets a bit jealous until she has a fry.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler

The belt is above the ring. The other five participants in the ladder match are in a fan voted poll to be guest referee. Ambrose wins with 57% of the votes. They hit the mat to start with Bryan sitting out for a standoff. We hit a test of strength until Bryan suplexes him down and starts on the arm. Dolph reverses into a headlock and takes Bryan into the corner but it turns into a slugout. Bryan backflips out of the corner but Ziggler throws him over, only to have Bryan skin the cat and headscissor him outside. They fly at the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a sleeper and getting two off a German suplex. He heads up top but gets crotched down, setting up a running top rope faceplant for two for Dolph. Bryan can’t backslide him so he just kicks Dolph in the face for two. We get dueling chants but the YES chants for some kicks in the corner drown them out. Bryan charges into a superkick and the Zig Zag is good for the completely clean pin at 10:55.

Rating: B-. Good but not great match here. It’s still weird to see Bryan getting pinned clean, especially around Wrestlemania time. I’d love to see these two get the time for a real program instead of just being in there with all the other people for a big messy title match. Good stuff here though and the best match of the night.

Dirty Deeds plants Ziggler post match and it’s ladder time. Everyone comes out for the big climbing war and the ladder falls down onto Harper’s leg, leaving everyone down on the mat. Harper might be hurt as that didn’t look planned.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman for the big showdown with Reigns. Heyman does his usual and says if he hasn’t sold us on the main event beating yet, there’s nothing he can do now. If you want to see Roman Reigns take a beating, you’ll get your money’s worth. Last year, the fans said Lesnar couldn’t beat Undertaker, but he could and did. People said he couldn’t beat John Cena, but he could and did.

Now people say he’s a mercenary, but Lesnar is a man who loves to hurt people trying to take the title away from him. Reigns might as well take Brock’s wife, take his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Reigns if he wants to take that title from Lesnar. This man is a beast who will take Reigns’ wife, his house, the food off his children’s plates and rename them Lesnar, so come for a fight. This Sunday Brock conquers the main event of Wrestlemania. Reigns says he can and he will, but this Sunday the champ says you can’t and you won’t.

Here’s Reigns himself at 11:08pm for the big staredown. Brock holds up the title but Reigns grabs it from his hand and holds it in Brock’s face. Lesnar tries to take it back and they struggle over the belt to end the show. THAT’S IT??? We waited two months for THAT?

Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t hate this show but my goodness it’s really hard to care about most of this. At the end of the day, they haven’t made me interested in most of what they’re presenting on Sunday. Bray’s promo was awesome and there were some other good things going on, but then we had a bull pinning Natalya as the Tag Team Champions literally looked on and a Burger King ad (which to be fair made me laugh).

Wrestlemania will have the potential to knock it out of the park on Sunday if they get the wrestling right, but at the same time, it has the potential to absolutely bomb. It doesn’t seem to have much higher to go than “pleasant surprise”, but it could be more along the lines of Wrestlemania 27: one or two good things, but overall a show where you look back and ask “what were they thinking?”

Results

R-Truth/Dean Ambrose b. Stardust/Luke Harper – Little Jimmy to Stardust

Ryback/Zack Ryder/Prime Time Players/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Ascension/Adam Rose – Shell Shock to Miz

Randy Orton b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury/Seth Rollins – RKO to Noble

Los Matadores/El Torito b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Sunset flip to Natalya

Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade

Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan – Zig Zag

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Smackdown – March 19, 2015: The Reigns Problem

Smackdown
Date: March 19, 2015
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

With ten days to go before Wrestlemania, it’s time for the hard sell to the biggest show of the year. Given the recent trends on Smackdown, this show is going to be built around the Intercontinental Title match, which has gone from a huge match to everyone trying to one up each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Brock’s sitdown interview on Raw, talking about how he likes to hurt people and saying he’ll be WWE Champion if he stays or not. They better have a plan if they keep the belt on him.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going. Before he can get past “Heyman and Lesnar think they can intimidate me”, Mark Henry comes out to interrupt. Henry came out here last week to see what Reigns had, and that’s what Reigns did. Naturally we have a clip of what happened because just telling us what happened would be too simple. Instead, let’s show a minute long video of a beating. Based on that, Henry is putting all his money on Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania, because Reigns can and will beat him.

Cue the Authority with Kane asking when Mark Henry became the World’s Biggest Self Help Guru. Rollins holds up the briefcase and ominously says that anything can happen at Wrestlemania. There won’t be any Randy Orton tonight because the best security team has locked every door and blocked every entrance. Of course that’s just for Orton’s protection, because why would Rollins be scared of him? As for tonight though, Rollins thinks he needs a Wrestlemania tuneup. Therefore, tonight it’s Reigns/Henry vs. Kane/Rollins. Kane: “Believe in the Authority.”

Tatsumi Fujinami is going into the Hall of Fame. I know he’s a legend, but they’re not exactly knocking this class out of the park outside of Savage.

Brie Bella vs. Paige

AJ and Nikki are on commentary because we need a five man booth. Paige spears Brie through the ropes to start and pounds her on the announcers’ table. AJ: “I taught her how to slap.” Back in and Brie gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick before we hit the chinlock forty seconds into the match.

A clothesline gets two and we’re on the second chinlock less than ninety seconds in. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down before Brie hits the running knee against the ropes. She lays back on Paige for the cover and gets rolled up for a pin at 2:28. The match wasn’t two and a half minutes long and it had two chinlocks. How can this woman be married to Daniel Bryan and not be better than that by osmosis?

Recap of Seth vs. Orton on Monday with Sting making the big save. That really was an awesome moment and the best thing Sting has done since debuting.

Noble and Mercury tell security to keep an entrance open. They aren’t pleased when they’re not called sir.

Gauntlet Match

The participants are all of Barrett’s challengers and we start with Ambrose vs. Stardust. Dean slugs away to start and Stardust bails out to the floor. The rebound clothesline connects but Stardust gets two off a Disaster Kick. A release front suplex drops Dean again and Barrett is watching from the back. Stardust tries a sunset flip but Dean drops down on him ala British Bulldog vs. Bret for the pin at 2:18.

Stardust, ever the nice guy, jumps Dean after the match and sends him shoulder first into the post twice in a row. R-Truth is in third and beats up Stardust, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 3:02 total. Harper is in fourth with an inset interview talking about how they took his freedom away. Now he’s using you to set them all free. He’s been talking to Bray again hasn’t he?

Back from a break with Dean hammering away in the battle of undershirts and jeans. Harper goes after the bad arm to take over and we hit the chinlock. Notice that it’s one instead of two and we’re over five minutes in. Dean is sent face first into the buckle and gets locked in a crossface. Back up and Dean sends him to the floor, setting up the running standing elbow drop.

The discus lariat is countered into a rollup for two and it’s back to the crossface. When all else fails, Dean bites the hand to escape and slugs away. The running dropkick against the ropes and la majistral get two for Dean but he eats a superkick, only to knock him into the ropes for the rebound clothesline to drop both guys. Back up and Dirty Deeds is countered into the discus lariat and the sitout powerbomb is enough for the pin at 12:50 total.

Daniel Bryan is in fifth and starts with Harper after a break. During said break, Mercury and Noble yelling at security guards. They check someone’s credentials and let him in for a scene that doesn’t seem to mean anything. Back in the arena with Bryan wrapping Harper’s knee around the post a few times before firing off the kicks. He even gets Harper up for the full surfboard and lifts him up for a YES chant.

More YES Kicks have Harper in trouble so he picks Bryan up and throws him out to the floor. Luke slows things down with a headlock but Bryan knee crushes his way to freedom. That’s fine with Harper as he just punches Bryan in the face to put him down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bryan goes right back to the knee. A headscissors takes Harper to the floor and there’s the Flying Goat for good measure.

Back in again and we get more YES Kicks but the big one is countered into the half nelson suplex for two. The discus lariat is kicked away but the left arm version blasts Bryan for another near fall. Luke is getting frustrated but Bryan helps him out by tripping the leg and putting on something like a heel hook for the submission at 25:33 total.

That only leaves Dolph Ziggler in sixth and we take another break before the bell. They lock up to start until Bryan takes him into the corner for more kicks. Ziggler goes a bit more conventional with right hands to the head but misses a Stinger splash. Bryan busts out a top rope hurricanrana but Dolph rolls through into a sunset flip for two. Both try cross bodies and both get knocked to the mat as we take another break.

Back again with Bryan working on the shoulder after sending him into the post while we were away. Daniel gets crotched on top but he counters a superplex attempt by crotching Ziggler right back. Dolph keeps up the countering by reversing the belly to back superplex into a cross body for two more. Bryan responds by kicking him in the face for the same as the fans (or at least the canned noise) are way into this. The running knee is blocked by a superkick but he can’t follow up. The YES Lock goes on in the middle of the ring but Ziggler rolls out, ducks a big kick and grabs the Zig Zag for the pin at 27:36.

Rating: B+. It took some time to get going but the Bryan vs. Ziggler stuff was awesome. I can see those two building a roof on Levi’s Stadium just so they could blow it off at Wrestlemania, but instead they’re just throwing everyone into a ladder match. Really good and long match here, especially once they stopped with the quick eliminations.

Post match Barrett comes in and talks about a code, only to nail Dolph in the face. Bryan gets up and takes the microphone to the face. Both guys get Bull Hammers as well.

We look at Bray’s promo from Monday.

LL Cool J video. People still care about him right?

The Divas give their predictions on AJ/Paige vs. the Bellas. As expected, the decision is split. This is giving them a chance I suppose?

Recap of the Cena/Rusev contract signing from Monday.

Another bit with the security.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Natalya vs. El Torito/Los Matadores

Interspecies match. Well of course it is. Cesaro runs Diego over for two to start but a dropkick sends him into the corner. Off to Natalya vs. Torito for some pelvic thrusting, meaning Kidd tags himself in to face Fernando. Kidd takes it outside and trips Fernando up to send him face first into the apron. Back in and the hot tag brings in Diego with a springboard shot to the head as everything breaks down. Los Matadores dive onto the champs, leaving us with Natalya vs. Torito for the featured part of the match. Torito armdrags her down but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. We’re ten days from Wrestlemania and this is what we’re seeing from the Tag Team Champions. I mean……dang man. The best we can get is an unfunny idea of woman vs. bull, because there are still people out there that think it’s really a bull? Who could speak English? This kind of stuff is absurd and makes me hate this show more and more every time.

Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Roman Reigns/Mark Henry

And there’s no Henry as we cut to the back and see him out cold. Rollins brings out a bunch of security to have his back. Maybe they’re Noble and Mercury’s students. Kane starts for his team and Mercury offers a trip, allowing the Big Bald to score with a boot to the face. Off to Rollins as the fans chant for Randy. Not the #1 contender and future main eventer mind you, but a guy not here.

Seth whips Reigns into a side slam for two and the bad looking running DDT gets the same. Rollins comes back in for some slow shots to the back and something like a downward spiral into the middle buckle. We’re just waiting for Orotn at this point and it’s showing badly. Roman fights back with a forearm to Kane, followed by the tilt-a-whirl slam to Rollins. The Authority regroups but Rollins dives into a Superman Punch and the spear ends Kane at 5:07.

Rating: D. This match summed up the major problem with Roman Reigns: he could have been any given upper level guy and the match would have been the exact same thing. This was five minutes of waiting around for Orton to come out because that’s the story we’re seeing. Can you imagine that happening to Steve Austin or Daniel Bryan? No, because those guys commanded the audience’s attention whenever they were on screen. Reigns is just another guy here and it’s very clear that he isn’t someone the fans are ready to cheer as the new top man.

Rollins throws a fit and here’s Orton (in wrestling gear for no logical reason) to beat up the security. Noble and Mercury take RKOs, allowing Rollins to escape to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. That Reigns match really told you everything you needed to know about this Wrestlemania season. The main feuds have little heat and the whole show is built around Undertaker, Sting and Lesnar barely appearing or not saying anything. Combine that with the fans just not being interested in Reigns at the moment (and again, a lot of that isn’t on him) and this is coming off as a pretty weak year.

As for the show, the Intercontinental Title match made for a good performance but that’s not what we’re getting at Wrestlemania. The Divas did their usual stuff, the comedy wasn’t funny, and the main event was your standard scene with someone AMAZINGLY making it past security to get into the building. This felt like any given Thursday in June, not the next to last Smackdown before Wrestlemania.

Results

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Dolph Ziggler won a gauntlet match last eliminating Daniel Bryan

Natalya/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. El Torito/Los Matadores – Powerbomb to Torito

Roman Reigns/Mark Henry b. Kane/Seth Rollins – Spear to Kane

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Monday Night Raw – March 9, 2015: Where’s That Autofocus Button?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 9, 2015
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

Wrestlemania is closing in on us and the card is pretty clear. That leaves just a few weeks to strengthen up the stories and make the fans want to buy the show. Right now, Reigns is still getting warm but this is the same arena the 2014 Royal Rumble was held in, meaning he might not be in for an easy night. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Rollins pinning Reigns, only to have Roman clean house afterwards. I still see no reason for Seth to get that pinfall.

Here’s Randy Orton to open things up with the Authority, minus the leaders, in the ring. Kane says the Authority wants to do this in public so there are no more questions. Without further ado, Kane officially welcomes Orton back to the Authority. Big Show is nearly booed out of the arena before he can say that Orton would RKO his own father to get where he wanted to go, so welcome back. Noble can’t do this and calls Orton a no good snake.

Rollins asks for some slack for the Stooges before addressing rumors that Orton isn’t part of the Authority. He’s just biding his time before he can get his hands on Rollins. That must make these people feel like idiots because he and Orton are standing side by side. Even Rollins had his own doubt and he’s sure the rest of the team did as well. “The security did, Kane did….and no one really cares what Big Show thinks.” Dang he’s nailing this voice of the fans schtick lately.

Rollins shakes Orton’s hand but Orton wants to know what’s happened to this team. They used to be ruthless but now they’re all sucking up to him. Kane is now a stupid gopher and Big Show used all his power to whine and complain. Does Noble hate him because he can’t get on all the rides at Disneyland? Ok points for a funny line. That leaves just Rollins, who is so blind that he can’t see what’s going on.

Orton has just been biding his time until Rollins feels safe and sound until he strikes. There is no future for Seth Rollins….but never mind because he’s just kidding. Rollins laughs and thinks Orton should take over for Stewart. The team poses and that’s finally it. This was about as big of a waste of time as I’ve seen this side of a HHH and Stephanie promo.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and R-Truth is on commentary with a burlap bag next to him. Cole: “DY-NO-MITE!” Truth: “I haven’t heard that since reruns of Mash!” Barrett quickly takes him down for two before cranking on the arm. A butterfly suplex gets two as JBL asks R-Truth about Dikembe Mutumbo (a 7′ NBA player). Barrett gets Bryan into the ropes and kicks him in the face as we take a break. Back with Barrett getting two off a superplex as the announcers continue their completely unrelated jabbering. A crucifix gets two for Bryan but he ducks a clothesline and hits the running knee for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C-. Twenty eight years ago at Wrestlemania III, Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat had one of the best matches of all time for the Intercontinental Title. Now that title is held by a guy who loses to get his feud over and will likely walk out of the title match at Wrestlemania with the belt, making this whole thing a waste of time. My how times change. Even Truth’s commentary can’t save these things.

Barrett knocks out Bryan post match but Ambrose runs out to deck Barrett.

Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust

Stardust has the title itself and Truth is still on commentary. Ambrose takes him down to start with some running elbows. JBL and Truth argue over Truth stealing the Intercontinental Title a few times as Dean hits the running dropkick against the ropes. Stardust is sent to the floor for the suicide dive but he hooks a dragon screw leg whip as Dean gets back inside and we take a break. Back with Dean firing off right hands and some running forearms, followed by a bulldog. The rebound clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds to give Ambrose the pin at 7:27.

Rating: D+. Thanks for joining the feud Stardust. By losing this match, I’m sure it means you’ll be in line for a title push very soon. This story is building the title up, but it’s only after the belt is ripped apart in the first place. That’s my major issue here: they could do the same idea but without hurting the title.

Post match Dean grabs the belt but Ambrose, Bryan, Harper and Ziggler run in for a brawl. Truth slips the belt in his bag and sits back down on commentary. Everyone hits their finisher with Barrett coming out on top but he can’t find his title. Truth gives him a bag and Barrett runs into the crowd, only to find a toy Intercontinental Title. Well of course he did.

Cole starts to talk about the Hall of Fame but Booker has to explain the idea of what Truth just did. Tonight’s inductee is for Connor the Crusher, who will be receiving the first ever Warrior Award.

Here’s Paul Heyman to introduce a Roman Reigns video about his rise from NXT to the main event of Wrestlemania. He ends it by saying he can beat Lesnar, so Heyman responds by bringing out Lesnar himself. Heyman mocks Reigns’ fans for listing off all of his accomplishments, capping it off with a high pitched YAY. He’s known Reigns’ family since he was 14 years old and the truth about Reigns is his family would send Reigns to the bars and beaches to beat up football players and beach bums for target practice.

Now they’re doing the same thing with Lesnar but it doesn’t work that way. The Authority is hoping Reigns can win the title so Rollins can cash in on him, because Rollins isn’t cashing in on Lesnar. If anyone is thinking about pulling a Montreal Screwjob on Lesnar, they’re not leaving that stadium alive. Reigns is going to fight for everything he has but come up short. When Reigns is taking that kind of a beating….and there goes Heyman’s mic again.

It comes back on and says people keep cutting him off instead of coming to the ring and taking it out of his hands. Or better yet, have them come out here and take the title from Lesnar’s hands, because he might want to unify the title with the UFC World Title this summer. Maybe he’ll go to Las Vegas and knock out Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.

The title belongs to Lesnar instead of WWE and he isn’t giving it back. Twelve years ago, WWE put Lesnar in the ring against the Rock and he beat the star of the company. Then he beat the Undertaker to break the Streak. Then he beat John Cena to a pulp. Now he’s going to beat Roman Reigns and keep that title.

Just like last week and the previous week and the previous week: I still have no reason to care about this match. Why do I want to see Lesnar lose the belt? Because he beat up Undertaker? So? It was a fair match. Why do I want to see Reigns win the title? Because he’s Rock’s cousin? So? So is Jimmy Uso. There’s no connection to the fans here and no reason to want to see this match.

Bray Wyatt says Wrestlemania is almost here and he wants the reaper to find him.

Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Ryback

Because there was NO ONE else in the battle royal for either of these teams to fight. Ryback runs Kane over to start and drives shoulders in the corner. Kane kicks him in the face to block the Meat Hook and it’s off to Show for a spear. Ryback gets tossed around even more before it’s off to Kane, who gets supelxed to give Ryback a breather. The lukewarm tag brings in Rowan to clean house but he goes after Big Show, allowing Kane to uppercut him. Big Show punches Kane by mistake though, allowing Rowan to get the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D. It’s really hard to care about these guys when Rowan has barely done anything since turning face (or ever for that matter), Big Show and Kane are Big Show and Kane and we’ve seen some combination of these four guys in about a dozen matches this year alone. As usual, WWE comes up with a combination and keeps it going for months after people stop caring.

Big Show and Kane start arguing but SERIOUS STEPHANIE comes out to yell at them. She tells Big Show to shut up and start hurting people again. Kane needs to stop getting coffee and bring the monster back. Now get out of her ring and out of the arena because they’re not thinking about what’s best for business.

We look back at Miz’s commercial last week.

Miz pitches a partnership with Wiz Khalifa but Wiz has already signed up Mizdow. Damien comes in for a “rap” about beating Miz in the battle royal. Khalifa looks homeless and I have no idea why he’s on this show other than he’s from Pittsburgh.

Sheamus return video.

Wiz Khalifa performs and the fans don’t seem that interested. I have it muted for most of the performance as I again ask: what does this have to do with making me want to watch Wrestlemania? Mizdow came out to celebrate with him.

We recap AJ returning to save Paige from the Bellas.

The Bellas watch a clip of themselves in the Flintstones movie (they’re in it for about four minutes) and make Flintstones puns about beating up AJ and Paige at Wrestlemania.

Summer Rae vs. AJ Lee

Summer has Cameron and AJ in her corner after the three of them argued over being the Diva to get a chance. AJ gets a quick rollup for two and kicks Summer in the ribs. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two for Summer and she chokes in the corner, only to have AJ elbow her in the jaw. They trade kicks to the face with Summer getting two. Back up and the Black Widow makes Summer tap at 3:05.

Rating: D+. Standard Divas match here as Summer continues to be the only competent one out of the new trio she’s in. I really hope the Give Divas a Chance bit doesn’t just wind up being about the Total Divas getting a chance to show that they have no business being in a ring. Summer is fine for a stuck up heel and the tag match at Wrestlemania could be good, but they need some fresh blood that can work in the ring.

We get a video on Sting vs. HHH narrated by someone who is supposed to be Sting but doesn’t sound much like him. He talks about WCW going under and how HHH is going to be punished for only having loyalty to himself. Sting has been waiting fourteen years to beat down HHH, so it’s game over at Wrestlemania.

Rusev and Lana are coming to the ring for the match but run into Cena. Rusev says no again but Cena cuts him off and says performing at Wrestlemania is a privilege. If he hasn’t earned that privilege this year then so be it, but Rusev needs to understand that he hasn’t earned the right to come to this country and disrespect it.

Coming here to become a Russian hero doesn’t give him the right to act without repercussions. He has the right to free speech but Cena has the right to shut him up. If Rusev insults America one more time, Cena will be there to prove how much fight America has. A USA chant strikes up as the Russians leave.

Rusev vs. Curtis Axel

Rusev jumps him before the match. Superkick, Accolade, 26 seconds. Axel didn’t even get to talk here and this felt like WWE saying “STOP CHEERING HIM WHEN WE DIDN’T TELL YOU TO!”

Post match Rusev calls America spineless and soulless, so here’s Cena to no music. He takes the hat and shirt off and charges to the ring. Rusev is quickly caught in the STF and passes out as Cena cranks on it hard. Cena pours some water on Rusev to wake him up but puts it back on Rusev, who immediately taps out.

Lana gets the mic and begs Cena to let him go, eventually giving him the US Title shot at Wrestlemania. The fans chant for Cena. No threat of retirement, no talk of Cena being frail, no Stephanie rambling about whatever nonsense she has on her mind this week. Just simple, good old fashioned AMERICA vs. Russia. It’s worked forever and it still works today. Stop overthinking these things.

Bray says he can’t wait much longer so tonight he raises the dead. Find him.

Rusev yells at Lana in Russian and she walks away, presumably to a movie set for a film that 18 people will see but will still be critically acclaimed, at least according to Michael Cole.

New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Non-title but New Days says they want the belts. Just pencil in the non-title loss now. Kofi is on the floor this week. Kidd and Woods get things going with Tyson being dragged over to the corner for some backbreakers from Big E. Back to Woods who kicks Kidd in the head for two but Cesaro sneaks in to take out Woods’ knee. The champs start focusing on the knee but Big E. tries to come in for a save. Woods grabs a quick rollup into a faceplant for the fast pin on Kidd at 3:50.

Rating: D. DANG IT STOP PINNING THE CHAMPIONS TO SET UP A TITLE MATCH! You’re doing this nonsense with the Intercontinental Title and….screw it. I’m too annoyed to rant about how stupid this idea is and I don’t want this to turn into a repeat of last week’s review. Short version: I hate this idea, I’ve always hated this idea, I’m always going to hate this idea and I’m always going to have to put up with it because WWE writers are idiots that have no idea how wrestling works.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Joined in progress after the break with a pinfall reversal sequence leading to some quick near falls. The Sharpshooter goes on but Naomi makes the ropes. The guys get in a fight on the floor and Naomi hits the Rear View for the pin at 2:41.

Natalya takes Kidd’s title post match.

Los Matadores vs. Usos

There’s no transition between any of these three matches as everyone keeps coming out during the exits for the previous match. Fernando headscissors Jimmy down and we take an early break. Cole calls Los Matadores underrated. If they’re underrated, I can’t imagine who is actually low rated.

Back with Jey dancing and bringing in Jimmy for a double elbow. The fans chant for Punk as Fernando cranks on Jimmy’s arm but thankfully it dies down just as fast. Everything breaks down and Diego dives into a superkick for two but Fernando sends Jey to the floor. Jey nails his big dive and Fernando charges into a Samoan drop. Torito offers a distraction but Fernando shoves Jimmy into the bull for the upset rollup at 8:05.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I have no reason to care about either team, the division has another pair of losers as champions, and the most interesting feud connected to this is Naomi vs. Natalya, who won’t get anywhere near the Divas Title anytime soon because neither is a big enough star on Total Divas. But hey, at least it ate up some time on this show and that’s what matters with 20 days to the biggest show of the year right?

We recap the opening segment.

Rollins tells the Stooges to calm down and says he’s the mastermind of everything.

Here’s Bray Wyatt with something to say. He says he never sleeps but he’s always dreaming. He sees cities burning and governments crumbling because there is such beauty in chaos. In his dreams, the buzzards guide him to the shell of a man. Below the buzzards lay the Undertaker’s broken body. Pride is Bray’s favorite sin and it was pride that has led him to Undertaker. He doesn’t want to bow down to Undertaker or even stand by his side.

All he wants to do is walk over Undertaker on his way to the throne because he is the new face of fear. Everyone knew the Streak was going to end at some point and now Wrestlemania will be Undertaker’s final resting place. So will Undertaker accept his challenge? The urn is behind Wyatt and he suggests that it’s the way to bring him back. Bray opens the urn and nothing comes out of it.

He sets it back on the table and smoke stars to come out of it. Lightning appears on the screen and Bray shouts GIVE IT TO ME. The gong strikes and the fans are just as into it as they were last year. The lights go out and it sounds again before a spotlight shows the table and urn gone and Bray’s old rocking chair in the ring. Undertaker’s voice comes on and says you will rest in peace as the Wrestlemania logo and “the man comes around” (at least I think that’s what it said as they only showed it on a wide shot) appears on screen. Lightning hits the chair and lights it on fire, sending Bray to his knees in laughter.

Wyatt vs. Undertaker is official for Wrestlemania.

We look at Cena choking out Rusev again. Cena will have an exclusive interview just after Raw. I believe they said a Jericho DVD preview would have that spot.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins

JBL on Reigns’ entrance: let’s get to it. That got way too big of a smile from me. The bell rings at 11:03 and Reigns goes right at Rollins, only to be sent into the middle buckle. Reigns is sent to the floor to give Seth control as Orton just stands on the apron looking bored. The Stooges get in an argument with Orton over not double teaming so Randy punches Noble in the face.

Rollins sends the two of them out, leaving he and Randy alone for the Authority. Reigns ducks a charge and sends Seth into the buckle to put both guys down. Seth crawls over but Orton moves away from the tag. A double middle finger (which the camera makes sure to pan down from) sends Rollins the message and the spear is good enough to pin Seth at 4:10.

Rating: D. Well it took long enough. They made it pretty clear when Kane and Big Show were ejected earlier in the night but they finally got to the point with this story. Granted it makes the last few weeks an even bigger waste of time, but at least it happened. Orton snapping is the right idea but it took way too long to get there.

Post match Reigns leaves and Orton yells at Seth before throwing him to the floor. He sends Rollins into the steps and says he would never rejoin the Authority. An uppercut knocks Rollins over the barricade and the beating continues in the crowd. Orton hits him in the back with a chair as Seth hasn’t done a thing yet. They head back to ringside with Rollins being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton RKOs Rollins through the table to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been far better to have Orton just show up and set up the match as a psycho? Oh right we had to see Stephanie calm things down and yell at people instead. What was I thinking? On top of that, sweet goodness it’s convenient that Orton got rid of everyone so easily in one night. Also, I’m so glad Reigns was used as little more than a warm body here. Seriously that could have been anyone and it would have had the same result.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was far better than last week, but it’s more to do with an absence of bad than anything really good. Stephanie throwing out Big Show and Kane at least made sense instead of just inserting herself into a segment so we remember who she is. That’s been the problem with so much of the build: it feels like they’re just throwing it together at the last minute and hoping we care enough about it that they don’t need to properly work at it.

The wrestling tonight was especially lackluster and really didn’t do much to enhance things. The show is far too focused on the Authority and the main event scene, which still doesn’t seem to have a focus. That’s the word for Wrestlemania: unfocused. The best developed feud for the whole show is Miz vs. Mizdow and that’s happening in a battle royal. But hey, we got Wiz Khalifa making an appearance and that put the live crowd to sleep and my TV on mute. That’s something right?

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee

Dean Ambrose b. Stardust – Dirty Deeds

Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Big Show/Kane – Rowan pinned Kane after a KO Punch from Big Show

AJ Lee b. Summer Rae – Black Widow

Rusev b. Curtis Axel – Accolade

New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Rollup into a faceplant to Kidd

Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View

Los Matadores b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy

Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Smackdown – February 26, 2015: Erg

Smackdown
Date: February 26, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

Wrestlemania is creeping up on us and you can see most of the card from here. The main story coming out of Monday was Randy Orton rejoining the Authority for about two and a half hours but ultimately turning back against them. For some reason he let Seth Rollins off easy, which likely won’t be addressed tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open things up. The fans chant YES but Bryan shouts NO for a change. That’s what he said a few years ago when he was frustrated at the lack of opportunities. He was wrong though, because the fans were in his corner. The fans gave him the opportunity to climb the ladder to the top and he won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Wrestlemania XXX. He had to give it up due to injury, but then he had another chance to get it back at Fast Lane.

However, he failed and there’s no Wrestlemania main event this year. Without that motivation, does that mean the YES Movement is dead? NO it does not! He won’t back down because he has big plans this year. Before he can get those out though, here’s Bad News Barrett who has somehow gone a full three days since losing a match.

No one wants to hear Bryan’s sob story because losers like Bryan don’t deserve the spotlight. Neither does a thief like Dean Ambrose, so here’s Dean for the brawl. He and Barrett fight to the floor so Bryan picks up the Intercontinental Title. Barrett demands it back but Ambrose decks him from behind and takes the belt back. Daniel didn’t seem interested in the belt other than keeping it away from Barrett. Cole sounds like he’s begging us to believe that Barrett is still champion.

Dean Ambrose vs. Miz

Is he going to step on Miz’s sunglasses and break his foot this time? No Mizdow because he might be off shooting the commercial he mentioned on Raw. An early rollup gets two for Dean but he gets caught in a neckbreaker for the same. We’re already in the chinlock but Ambrose fights up with rights and lefts. Some running forearms drop Miz again but Barrett comes back out to steal the belt again. The distraction doesn’t work for once though as Dean hits Dirty Deeds for the pin on Miz at 2:47.

We look at stills of Orton returning on Sunday and video of the story with Rollins on Monday. Lawler tries to defend Orton’s lack of action by saying he was worried about Big Show and Kane. I’d be worried about them too if I wanted anyone to stay awake during my matches. Seriously even Bryan couldn’t survive a Kane feud.

After a break, Barrett can’t get Renee’s name right but says Ambrose and Bryan don’t deserve to touch this title.

Naomi vs. Natalya

Say it with me: this officially started on Total Divas, even though there’s been almost no animosity between them on that show. Somehow though, that’s better continuity than you usually get on the main shows. They run the ropes to start and Natalya drops down, only to get rolled up for two. A headscissors drops Natalya again and we hit a chinlock with Naomi using her legs instead of the arms. Both girls hit cross bodies and the guys get into it on the floor. The referee holds Naomi back from a downed Natalya, allowing the Canadian to hit the discus lariat for the pin at 2:48.

Here are the Russians to brag about their win on Sunday. Rusev says this is what a championship looks like and Lana walks us through some stills of Cena’s spirit being crushed over and over again. Lana says Rusev isn’t one to sleep on the job and brags about Putin sending them congratulatory emails. She even shows us one, of course in Russian, which probably has a very funny translation.

Rusev repeats that Cena gets no shot at Wrestlemania so he needs a new opponent. Cue Jack Swagger as we flash back to August. Jack says there’s no such thing as a scared US Champion and the fight is on. Just like happens every single time, Rusev survives a storm and superkicks Swagger into the Accolade. Was there NO ONE ELSE they could have used for this spot? Like……sweet goodness there really isn’t much of anyone is there? Is the roster really that thin? Or are the faces really that lame?

Bad News Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title of course, because even Bryan hasn’t fallen enough to want the Intercontinental Title. Barrett isn’t sure where to put the title. Byron Saxton introduces R-Truth on commentary. Truth: “COACH! I MISSED YOU!” Ok that was funny. Barrett shoves Bryan down to start but gets sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. The surfboard knee stomp sends Barrett back into the corner as Truth thinks a crumpet is a musical instrument.

More kicks stagger Barrett but the Winds of Change connect for two. Daniel bails to the floor as Truth keeps babbling about how he should be Intercontinental Champion. Back from a break with Barrett putting on a chinlock. I really do feel sorry for him. This is at least the second and probably third loser title reign for him and I don’t know what he does to deserve it.

Bryan fights up and hits more YES Kicks for two but Barrett avoids the running dropkick in the corner. The title was knocked to the floor and Barrett is distracted, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat. Truth: “Bryan looks like a chicken dipped in Rogaine.” How do you even respond to that? The YES Lock goes on and Truth sneaks over to the corner and steals the belt but gets back on commentary with the belt under his jacket. Bad News makes the ropes but turns around for the running knee and the pin at 10:31.

Rating: C-. This feud is turning into a battle over who can suck more than the other guy. Somehow though, Barrett is going to wind up leaving with the belt because that’s how WWE works. Then they’ll wonder why no one cares about Barrett, the title, or the losers in the match. Truth was funny on commentary but that doesn’t mean I want to see him in the ring. At least the title is getting some attention tonight though.

Barrett can’t find the title but Truth denies any involvement. This is somehow making Barrett come off like someone we should feel sorry for, because we’re supposed to feel sorry for someone who loses every match he has.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns from earlier today. Reigns praises Bryan for a hard fought match on Sunday and says Bryan knows what it takes to get where Reigns is going. We look at a clip of Heyman’s speech on Monday about how Reigns just can’t do it. Roman is tired of hearing about how he can’t do something and says he’ll have to train harder than ever before. Lesnar has been on this stage before but Reigns doesn’t have any experience at this level. He needs to talk to people in his family to see what it’s like to be there.

Reigns wants Lesnar to be bouncing around the ring and at his very best when he faces a man representing a proud family who is trying to make a better life for himself and his family. My goodness this guy is just not good at making me care about him. That’s the problem with him: he’s just ok at most things other than spearing people in half. He’s great as a heavyweight monster, but as a humanized character, he’s just stuck in the middle of the pack. Five minutes of him talking about what he needs to do didn’t make me care about him any more than I did in the first place, and I can’t imagine it getting better anytime soon.

Truth runs into Ambrose and says he beat Barrett for the title. Ambrose says he’s coming for the belt so Truth just hands it to him. Cole: “HAHAHAHA!” And that sums up the whole thing better than I ever could.

Fandango vs. Curtis Axel

Axel shows us a clock which has him in the Royal Rumble for 32 hours, giving Cole and Lawler something else to laugh about. Fandango jumps him to start so Axel throws him over the top. Curtis: AXELMANIA! Fandango plants him with a release suplex and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:03. Again, I care about the loser more than the winner.

Miz interrupts Mizdow’s commercial shoot and mocks him for just ripping Miz off. The director didn’t know Miz was interested in being part of this commercial and gives him the part instead. That’s ANOTHER face who is treated like a loser, but at least he hasn’t……when did he last win a match? This company is really bad at setting up good guys. Of course they have to face adversity, but they really need to win once in awhile. This idea of just letting the fans carry them doesn’t hold up for everyone but it seems to be all WWE is doing lately. Either that or have the champ lose every time.

Barrett will be defending the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania in a ladder match against an unknown number of unnamed opponents. Sheamus returns there maybe?

We get the Sting career retrospective. WWE does a lot of things wrong but they’re awesome at things like this.

Adam Rose vs. Goldust

Rose has entered the Andre battle royal. Before the match we get a recap of Stardust attacking his brother on Sunday. Rose jumps him to start and charges into the powerslam for two. The Final Cut is good for the pin at 1:02.

Stardust is dressed as a monkey Rosebud and jumps Goldust.

Bray Wyatt claims that Undertaker is clinging to his legacy. He’s a snake, but even the cleverest rat can only run from the snake for so long. How long does Undertaker think he can hide? Time is ticking because Wrestlemania is approaching. Come find him.

Seth Rollins/Kane/Big Show vs. Erick Rowan/Dolph Ziggler/Ryback

We get the Jon Stewart response to Rollins before the match starts. Kane headlocks Rowan to start but gets runs over by a shoulder block. A fall away slam (that’s way too popular of a move these days) and jumping elbow get two for Rowan and it’s off to Ziggler for a nice response. Kane drives Dolph into the corner for a tag to Rollins, who is quickly dropped with a neckbreaker.

Big Show makes a blind tag and throws Ziggler down with a cobra clutch throw as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Ziggler in a chinlock before kicking him in the face to give Rollins two. Big Show comes back in with a headbutt to set up the Vader Bomb. Big Show: “I’M GOING TO HIT MY MOVE!” It’s only good for two though and Dolph scores with a quick Fameasser but he has to add a running DDT to Kane. That’s finally enough for the tag to Ryback and house is cleaned.

An overhead belly to belly sends Rollins flying into the corner and a big powerslam plants him for good measure. The Meat Hook connects but Mercury comes in for a distraction. Big Show breaks up a double Shell Shock as everything breaks down. Rollins dives onto Rowan but his Blockbuster attempt is caught in a Shell Shock. Kane makes a save but eats a Zig Zag, only to get dropped by Rollins. The Stooges are thrown in again and the distraction lets Ryback hit Shell Shock on Rollins for the pin at 11:07.

Rating: C+. Well the booking has been frustrating all night so why not job out Rollins again while trading wins in the never ending feud as well? If there’s one good thing here, it’s Ryback looking like a monster this whole time. However, none of this matters until it actually leads somewhere for him. Odds are he’ll be put into the battle royal though and get lost in the shuffle.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was one of the most head scratching shows I’ve seen in a very long time. Between having the Intercontinental Title literally handed over from one guy to another in what felt like a parody sketch instead of…..whatever that really was supposed to be to faces looking like hopeless losers to somehow making me feel bad for a villain to trading wins with Big Show and Kane continuing to look strong to set up whatever in the world they’re going to do, this show was every problem WWE has going on right now.

The short matches are a confusing point for me. On one hand, I really don’t want to see these matches keep going on and on, but at the same time I’d like to see a match get enough time to not be a huge waste. Throw in Roman Reigns just talking for five minutes and not getting anywhere and this was a really rough show to sit through.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds

Natalya b. Naomi – Discus lariat

Daniel Bryan b. Bad News Barrett – Running knee

Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance

Goldust b. Adam Rose – Final Cut

Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Smackdown – January 2, 2015: The New Year’s Hangover

Smackdown
Date: January 2, 2015
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield

So the Authority is back because WWE can’t wait more than a few weeks without having a full time heel GM running the show. Other than that, Edge and Christian are allegedly in charge tonight, despite filing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against WWE on Main Event, because if there’s one thing WWE fans like more than evil authority figures, it’s the fun characters filing lawsuits. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending of Raw. Seth Rollins is awesome in this heel role and comes off as evil when he’s given the chance. I remember thinking that if he really wants to nail this, he’ll go to stomp Edge anyway, and that’s exactly what he did.

A somewhat subdued E & C open things up as Cole brings up the lawsuit. Edge (in a Cesaro shirt this time) says he’s played the scene from Raw in his head over and over and it’s his fault. He apologizes for what happened, but there’s nothing they can do physically to Rollins. Don’t worry though because there’s a John Cena sized missile coming after Rollins very soon. They have an amazing show planned and there’s nothing the Authority can do about it.

Before they can though, we see a limo on screen with the Stooges alone getting out. They head to the ring with Mercury holding a document. Edge suggests they climb under the bottom rope next time because it’s better suited to their height. The document is a prepared statement from the Authority, which says they didn’t know what Rollins was going to do on Monday.

The Authority officially apologizes and won’t interfere with Edge and Christian running Smackdown tonight, but the Stooges will be their official observers tonight. Edge smiles and makes his first match of the night: the Stooges vs. Ryback. The Stooges panic so Edge makes it Ryback vs. Big Show. Christian agrees that that’s a main event in any arena in the country, but thinks he can one up Edge with Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Noble says this is going on their permanent files. Edge: “You know I don’t work here right?” He gets in their faces and says he and Christian are running things tonight, period.

Erick Rowan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray tells Rowan to lay down because they’re not meant to fight. Erick goes right at him and drives Bray face first into the buckle but misses a charge into the post. Bray asks why Rowan is doing this to him and puts Rowan on the mat with his head against the post. He tries what looked like a clothesline and clearly didn’t touch Rowan’s head so I’m not sure what effect that was supposed to have. I know a lot of moves don’t connect but you can usually tell what they were supposed to be.

Back in and Rowan pops up because his genius IQ (remember that?) insulates his skull or something. He slams Bray around a few times and the fans buy into the false hope of the comeback attempt. Rowan slowly picks Bray up and says he’s sorry, only to eat Sister Abigail for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D+. So is Rowan possibly going back to Wyatt? It’s better than whatever he’s doing now, which seems to be turning into a genius then forgetting about it while he jobs to Big Show. As usual, WWE builds someone up, gets bored with them and throws them out of their crib like a baby with a toy more than a week old. In this case though it was about two matches as Rowan has been treated like a joke since the day after Survivor Series.

Bray looks remorseful after getting the pin, almost like he feels sorry for having to hurt Rowan. Wyatt grabs the mic and says he gave their only begotten son. If he’s willing to do that to someone he loves, what is he going to do to Dean Ambrose on Monday? It’s been fun, but all good things must come to an end. Their story ends with Dean in the back of an ambulance. Follow the buzzards.

Edge and Christian make sure the Stooges hear them practicing the Five Second Pose. The Stooges cut it off and do it themselves in a bit that really isn’t as funny as they were shooting for.

R-Truth/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Adam Rose

Rose tries to do WHAT’S UP and gets booed out of the space he’s standing in (there was nowhere near enough of a reaction for it to be out of the room). Truth even takes us back to the past with a WHOMP THERE IT IS! Adam tries the same and gets rolled up for two. Jey comes in and is quickly sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with powerslamming Jey for two. Goldust: “COME ON KEY!” At least that’s what it sounded like.

Off to Stardust to stand on Jey’s chest as the announcers go over the history of the Dusts and the Usos. They even manage to make that sound dull as there’s just no emotion in Phillips’ voice and it’s clear that he’s just reading this off a piece of paper in front of him. Go watch some Gorilla and Jesse to learn how to sound interested in something, even if there’s nothing interesting to talk about.

Jey gets popped in the mouth by Rose but knocks Adam and Stardust off the apron before backdropping Goldust out next to them. Jimmy (Uso, not Little Jimmy) comes in with some clotheslines for Rose and there goes the orange shirt. Everything breaks down and Truth dives onto Goldust, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to Rose for the pin at 8:20.

Rating: C-. So I guess it’s back to the Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust because almost a year of the same idea isn’t enough. I still can’t believe how badly they screwed up Rose. He should have had a job for years from just coming out to start a house show, getting the fans to dance and beating a low level heel (“This isn’t some party! This is business!”) in two minutes before dancing away. In other words, he should have been the PG version of the Godfather. Instead he’s this: a guy that feuds with a Bunny and R-Truth over a battle of rollups. Stop making things more complicated than they should be.

The Rosebuds try to go after Truth and the Usos and are dispatched with ease. The Usos steal their hats and it’s time to dance.

We look back at Bryan’s announcement from Raw. That’s such good news to hear as he’s worked so hard to get where he is and now he gets to keep going.

Ryback vs. Big Show

We get a clip of Ryback’s big speech on Monday where he talked about his career, including the bad leg injury he suffered back in 2010. The fans look so bored as Big Show comes through the curtain. Show easily shoves Ryback out to the floor and drags him back in by his head. Back in and Ryback drops him with some middle rope ax handles, but unfortunately that’s the extent of Randy Savage’s influence on this match.

We take a break and come back with both guys trading clubbing blows until Big Show drops him with a boot. Show goes after the leg, showing some thinking after Ryback mentioned the ankle and leg injuries almost ending his career. He takes Ryback’s knee pad down and lifts him up by the leg to stay on it. Off to an old school Lasso From El Paso but Ryback is right next to the ropes. I miss that hold but it wasn’t as good as the Haas of Pain. Big Show slams him down, making sure that the leg hits the ropes.

Ryback sends him out to the floor for a breather before firing off some shoulder blocks. A Thesz Press and Warrior Splash have Show in trouble but Ryback has to limp for a bit to pretend he knows how to sell. Doing your usual offense and then limping isn’t the same thing as selling an injury. The chokeslam is countered into a spinebuster but the Russian flag drops to break up the Meat Hook. The distraction lets Big Show KO Ryback to the floor for the countout at 11:30.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough power match until Ryback just popped up and stopped selling the leg until he got his offense in. Big Show basically wasted his time on the leg, especially with the ending they went with. That being said, it wasn’t the worst idea in the world as they kept both guys looking strong, and you know Big Show isn’t going to lose a match when he can knock someone out and look dominant, because Big Show exists to be pushed as hard as he can.

JBL tries to save Ryback by saying he wasn’t completely out cold from the KO. In other words, he was starting to move his limbs at six. That’s his consolation prize. Rusev comes after Ryback but takes a Meat Hook to knock him outside again.

Christian is in the bathroom so Jamie Noble goes in to keep an eye on him. A woman screams and Edge says that was the women’s bathroom. COMEDY!

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. Los Matadores

Thankfully they haven’t used the rumored name The Masters Of The WWE Universe for Kidd and Cesaro yet. They say they’re glad the Authority is back and want the titles in an inset interview. Fernando runs into Kidd’s elbow to start and his suicide dive hits Cesaro’s uppercut. Back in and Kidd hammers away before it’s off to Cesaro for a chinlock. Not the most exciting stuff in the world here.

They pick things up a bit with the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick from Kidd. That’s a really good spot when they can time it right. Kidd gets dropkicked out of the air and the lukewarm tag brings in Diego. Everything breaks down and Diego gets caught in a Cesaro powerbomb with Kidd adding a Blockbuster for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D+. Kidd and Cesaro had some good double team spots but there aren’t enough of them to carry a match. Los Matadores were fun for awhile but they’ve dropped down to what people were expecting them to be when the gimmick was introduced: standard high flying jobbers that might get the crowd going for a few moments before losing. Dull match.

Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel

The match never starts as Ambrose goes after Axel before the bell and lays him out with Dirty Deeds.

Ambrose grabs the mic and walks up the ramp, saying he hopes Bray is listening. They have the first ambulance match in the history of Monday Night Raw to kick off 2015. Dean walks up to an ambulance next to the ramp and promises to run Bray over, then break all of his fingers, then run him over again, then attach him to the ambulance and drag him around the arena. Then he’ll FINALLY put him into the ambulance and drive him away for a Happy New Year.

Ascension says first it was Hawk and Animal, then it was Ax and Smash, but now it’s Viktor and Konnor. I like that they’re acknowledging that they’re a modern version of the old school power tag team.

We look at the end of Raw again. Lesnar standing off in the background and looking annoyed intrigues me.

Ascension vs. ???/???

Ascension has gained 21lbs combined since Raw as they came in at a laughable 480 there and 501 here. Viktor fires off elbows in the corner to jobber #1 before it’s off to the 280lb Konnor, allegedly putting Viktor at 221. I have a problem believing he’s within a few pounds of CM Punk’s listed weight. After beating on #1 some more, the Fall of Man ends Jobber #2 at 1:20.

Edge and Christian are in the Authority’s office when the Stooges come in and say they need to get it ready for the Authority’s return. Is there a reason they’re setting up an office in Virginia when Raw is being held in Corpus Christi, Texas? The Stooges leave and the Canadians draw on the Authority’s Muscle and Fitness cover. This needed more Slick references.

Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Rusev getting the first blows in as he stomps Reigns down in the corner. They’re being very liberal with the piped in chants again tonight. Reigns nails a quick clothesline to put Rusev on the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a front facelock and snapping Rusev’s throat over the top rope. Rusev takes him down to the mat with a waistlock and the fans just go silent. The Russian mixes things up with a chinlock and the release fall away slam for two. Yet another chinlock makes me groan out loud.

Reigns blocks a ram into the buckle but Rusev throws him out to the floor. Back in and they shove each other a few times until Reigns nails some running clotheslines. A dropkick stops the Superman Punch but Reigns nails the second attempt. Reigns has to throw Rusev back inside and here’s the required Big Show interference. He doesn’t touch Reigns but eats a Superman Punch so we’re not done yet. The jumping superkick gets two but Reigns pops up with the spear, drawing in Big Show for the DQ at 13:12.

Rating: D. If this is the best they’ve got for Wrestlemania, they’re in big, big trouble. Reigns isn’t even bad in the ring or anything. He’s just REALLY boring a lot of the time, but to be fair a lot of this match was dull because of all the chinlocks and facelocks Rusev kept using. Reigns needs a lot more seasoning and a lot more character development before he’s ready for anything resembling a big time main event. There’s no emotion behind him and the best main events of Wrestlemania, or any major show for that matter, are usually built on the emotion the stars bring to the match.

Another thing working against this match was how obvious the ending was. The only question was whether it would be Ryback, Big Show or both guys interfering to cause the DQ. In other words, we sat through a boring match with an obvious ending to continue a feud that not a lot of people want to see to end a really dull show. Happy New Year people.

Post match Big Show spears Reigns and loads up a chokeslam, only to be slammed face first into the table. Show loads up another spear but misses and goes flying over the announcers’ table. Reigns turns the table over on Show to finally end the night.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t know how fair it is to criticize Reigns at the moment because he’s stuck in one of the least interesting feuds I can remember in a very long time. This feud should have lasted all of two weeks but somehow they’re stretching it into the new year and it dies a little more every time they drag it out. We’ve seen Big Show built up as a monster for the better part of twenty years now and the story of someone bringing him down is the same almost every time. Why should we care more about it with Reigns instead of everyone else that has done this story over the years?

Other than that….dang this show was dull. The big problem here is they’re stuck in a holding pattern until Monday when the Authority is back full time, making tonight just a placeholder show until things really pick up on Monday, complete with slow speaking twenty five minute opening speeches with a bunch of “I told you so’s”. The wrestling was nothing special and felt like a waste of my time for the most part.

That being said, there’s a good deal of hope for the future as the Rumble field is shaping up and Lesnar is wide open after Cena. It’s Wrestlemania season and hopefully that means they’re going to put in some efforts and fresh ideas instead of the same tired old feuds and stories. Maybe this is the last of the bad shows for awhile, but I’m not thrilled with what they’ve done with Smackdown in the last few weeks. This show was a disaster and really felt like a chore to sit through rather than something I was supposed to enjoy.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail

Usos/R-Truth b. Adam Rose/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Rose

Big Show b. Ryback via countout

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. Los Matadores – Powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Diego

Ascension b. ???/??? – Fall of Man to #1

Roman Reigns b. Rusev via DQ when Big Show interfered

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2011: Woo Woo Woo The Rock Is Back

Survivor Series 2011
Date: November 20, 2011
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,749
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This show is all about the Rock. Seriously, that’s it. The main event is Rock/Cena vs. Awesome Truth in Rock’s first match in seven years. They totally gave away the announcement of the match before the announcement on Raw but they were trying at least. This show didn’t sell that well for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The whole history thing starts us off again, as always. Take a guess as to what the opening video is about.

John Laurinitis welcomes us to the show. That’s all he says so this was a minute wasted, brought to you by one of the Dynamic Dudes.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Morrison lost FOREVER, then won a match on Raw after Mason Ryan helped, and gets a title match as a result. This was during a bad period where Ziggler had a rock cover of his song which didn’t work at all. Feeling out process to start and the fans want RYDER. This was when Ryder was white hot but WWE decided that crushing him for the sake of Kane and Jack Swagger. Ziggler gets taken down by the arm as the announcers talk about Ryder.

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

As the fans chant the same thing I’d expect to hear for the entire show, Ziggler stands around a lot. Morrison misses a charge in the corner and Dolph hits a reverse powerslam for two. The sleeper doesn’t go on and Morrison starts speeding things up with clotheslines and a leg lariat. That gets two and so does a rollup with tights for Ziggler. Morrison kicks Dolph in the head for two and a half and they trade sleepers.

The fans seem to be more behind Ziggler but it’s New York so that’s not shocking. John hits a spinning DDT for two as Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope, which earns her an ejection. Morrison misses a running knee and they rapidly trade near falls. The Flying Chuck misses for Morrison and it’s a Fameasser…..for two. Wow I thought that was it. The running knee hits Ziggler in the face but Starship Pain hits Ziggler’s knees. Zig Zag retains the title.

Rating: B-. I dug this match a lot, annoying crowd aside. Sometimes there’s nothing better you can do than throw two talented guys out there for ten minutes and let them have fun. Ziggler is more or less in the same spot he’s in a year later which is annoying but it’s the way of life in the WWE. Morrison would be gone in eight days which almost knew was coming.

Post match Vickie gets our attention as only she can and hands the mic to Ziggler who says he’d hate to have to follow what you just saw. He says it’s not showing off it you can back it up every night. As Ziggler celebrates, here’s Ryder…who is immediately beaten down. Ryder comes back and hits the Rough Ryder to send Ziggler running. They probably should have changed the title here, but I’m not sure they were sure they wanted to go with Ryder yet or not.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending and this is a lumberjill match. Beth catches a cross body and just drops Eve like she doesn’t care. Eve kicks her down and does her STUPID dancing moonsault but Beth rolls to the floor and calls it stupid. Good for her! Back in and the moonsault hits anyway for two. Eve gets sent to the apron and has to kick away Natalya, allowing the champion to take over.

Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit before Eve counters a wheelbarrow suplex to send Beth into the middle turnbuckle. Eve hits a kick to the face but a rolling flip hits knees. The Glam Slam is countered and Eve hooks a freaky kind of Octopus Hold before shifting to a modified triangle choke. Eve has to chase off some evil chicks but manages to kick Beth in the head. The moonsault gets broken up though and the Glam Slam off the middle rope retains Beth’s title.

Rating: C. Not terrible here and the ending looked awesome. I loved Beth and Natalya’s heel run together as they HATED the stupid Barbie stuff that chicks like Kelly and Eve were doing because it’s almost embarrassing at times. This particular match started slow but once it picked up it got a lot better.

Otunga comes in to annoy Punk and says Cole deserves an apology from some attack by Punk. Punk says let me go become world champion first.

Rock is in the back and he’s got a mic. He talks about MSG (no FINALLY for some reason) and being here in the 70s, watching his grandfather fighting for the world title. Then in the 80s he hung out with Andre the Giant in the locker room. Then in 1996 he debuted in the WWF, and despite having a hideous outfit and the worst haircut known to man (his words), the fans chanted his name. That’s correct actually and they didn’t even tell him to die. Rock runs us through his history of catchphrases and title wins, with the most important being him becoming the People’s Champion.

There’s FINALLY and he has to stop for a chant. He does his stupid boots catchphrase before moving on to his partner: John Cena. The fans think Cena sucks but Rock talks about the things that have happened in MSG like Ali vs. Frazier. Then he sings some Frank Sinatra and asks the fans to sing with him. It’s on tonight and that’s about it. This is what the fans wanted and he could have had them say anything he wanted here. That’s what Rock is great at and it worked.

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Hunico, Dolph Ziggler

Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, Sin Cara

Ziggler is subbing for an injured Christian. There’s no real reason for most of these guys other than needing four midcard faces and heels to fill out the teams. Cody is IC Champion. Kofi and Bourne are tag champions here but Bourne is on a Wellness violation. Kofi and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler hitting a quick elbow to take Kofi down. The reverse powerslam is countered and Dolph gets one off a dropkick.

Kofi’s SOS is countered so it’s a forearm to take Dolph down instead. There’s the tag to Orton and an RKO eliminates Ziggler quickly. To be fair he had a match earlier so this isn’t a bad thing for him. Barrett has a huddle on the floor with his team but Orton wants to fight some more. Back in and it’s most of Team Orton to clear the ring before Kofi and Cara try stereo flip dives. Cara, being the klutz that he is at this point, trips on the top rope and rips his knee apart, putting him in the shelf for the next seven months.

The match stops for a few moments as we’re told Cara is eliminated. We get back to normal and it’s Cody vs. Randy now. Orton grabs the arm and it’s off to Ryan. Prepare for a trainwreck. Ryan hits some very basic stuff including a knee to the chest before Cody bails to the floor. Hunico gets the tag but Ryan has to literally pull him in. Off to Kofi whose tights look like they have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on them if you don’t look too long.

Kofi misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Barrett for a chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both right back down. Double tag brings in Hunico vs. Ryan with the latter hitting a series of backbreakers and a fallaway slam. Hunico gets gorilla press dropped into the corner for a tag to Cody. There’s the Disaster Kick and the Cross Rhodes (POP) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Sheamus vs. Cody now with the Pale One quickly getting annoyed. He pounds Rhodes down in the corner and hits the ten forearms in the ropes, which they tried to name some Irish word. It lasted about two weeks before they realized it speaks for itself pretty well. Cody tries to low bridge Sheamus but Sheamus lands on the apron. Barrett decks the Irishman and Hunico comes in with a springboard dropkick to the knee.

Cole starts talking about Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason as Sheamus takes out Hunico’s knee as well. Off to Kofi who chops Barrett down a lot but gets kicked in the face after having to deal with Swagger. Upon further review, that IS the Stay Puft Man on Kofi’s trunks. With Barrett mostly dead from the kick, the Wasteland eliminates Kofi. It’s Orton and Sheamus vs. Swagger, Barrett, Hunico and Rhodes.

Orton comes in and tries the Elevated DDT, but Wade drops him to the floor where Hunico hits a suicide dive to take Orton out. Swagger comes in to pound on Orton a bit before Cody comes in for a release gordbuster. That gets two and it’s off to a chinlock for a bit. A bulldog by Cody is easily countered and it’s hot tag to Sheamus. The Pale One pounds on Swagger and hits the top rope shoulder and the Irish Curse. Swagger escapes the High Cross so Sheamus drops knees on his head, drawing a DQ when the referee gets to five. They were really trying to keep Sheamus strong here and that mostly worked.

Before Sheamus leaves, he takes Swagger’s head off with a Brogue Kick. Orton gets the easy pin and it’s 3-1. Rhodes comes in and stomps a spent Orton down in the corner but Orton comes back with some clotheslines. There’s the powerslam to Rhodes followed by the Elevated DDT. Randy has to chase off Barrett so Hunico gets a blind tag. He springboards right into the RKO for the elimination to make it 2-1, but Rhodes distracts Orton into the Wasteland to give Barrett the final pin.

Rating: B. This is your usual good formula based Survivor Series match with Orton and Barrett getting to advance their feud and not having Orton lose any face at all. The rest of the teams didn’t mean much but Kofi is perfect for matches like this: he’s got the resume to make him look like a threat but he never steals anyone’s thunder. Good match.

The Bellas hit on Alberto when Ace comes up. Del Rio isn’t worried about Punk tonight. Ace texts someone.

Don’t be a bully!

The ring is reenforced for the next match after Big Show and Henry broke the ring at Vengeance. That’s why the rematch is happening here tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is defending. They trade the big dramatic shoves to start and Henry gets shoved to the floor. Back in and Show takes it to the mat which goes a lot better than you would expect it to. If that’s not shocking enough, Show armdrags Henry to the floor. Henry stalls in the corner before going after Show’s knee. Mark lays on the leg a bit and drops some elbows. I think the fans are chanting boring, likely due to New York fans being ridiculous.

A clothesline puts Show down but Show comes back with a DDT for two. Now the fans want Daniel Bryan, who has an MITB case at this point. Show shoulders Henry down and calls for the chokeslam, but Henry kicks him in the knee and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for two. A splash gets the same and Henry is getting frustrated. Booker sums up what Henry should do: give him another World’s Strongest Slam. I’ve never gotten why wrestlers don’t do that. Just because a finisher doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean a second or third won’t work.

The fans want Undertaker as the guys go to the floor. Show gets posted and then tackled through part of the barricade. That finally gets the fans’ attention on the match instead of on guys who aren’t here. Show barely makes it back into the ring in time but he manages to break up another superplex attempt. He busts out a superkick of all things to knock down Henry and draw an HBK chant.

Big Show goes up top (uh oh) and even though he takes forever, he hits a top rope elbow on Henry…..for two. Why do a huge spot like that if it doesn’t end the match? Now it’s a Randy Savage chant. Show loads up the WMD, but Henry kicks him low for the FREAKING LAME DQ to retain the title.

Rating: C+. There’s something awesome about two huge guys beating the tar out of each other and that’s what we got here. Henry was AWESOME in 2011 and made for a great world champion, which is the last thing most people expected. That elbow was great, but to have the match end the way it did sucked. Show would beat Henry the next month, only to have Bryan cash in and win the title 45 seconds later.

Post match Henry tries to Pillmanize Show’s ankle again but Show gets out of the way and knocks Henry out cold. The fans chant for Bryan but no such Goatface appears. Show wraps the chair around Henry’s ankle instead and drops a leg on the chair to break Henry’s ankle.

Barrett says that the world title is next for him but Awesome Truth comes in and demands respect. Truth talks about an argument he had with some pigeons. The pigeons said nothing though, because pigeons don’t talk. Crazy Truth was great.

The New York National Guard is here.

We recap Punk vs. Del Rio. Del Rio cashed in MITB at Summerslam after Punk won, Cena beat Del Rio at Vengeance, Del Rio won a threeway with Punk and Cena in the Cell, tonight is the rematch from Summerslam, if you call that a match.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. Del Rio has Ricardo Rodriguez introduce him, so CM Punk brings out his own ring announcer: HOWARD FREAKING FINKEL! Round one goes to Punk. Howard waddles out and seems genuinely choked up by the reaction he gets. The fans want ice cream which is a thing he said he wanted in his own image. Feeling out process to start as Punk does his headlock so he can call spots to Del Rio.

Now the fans chant for Colt Cabana. Man these guys just won’t stop. Punk cranks on the arm a bit and Alberto hides on the floor. Back in and Punk knees him down in the corner and hits a dropkick to send the champ back to the floor. There’s the suicide dive from Punk and it’s back in to work on the arm. Alberto sends him into the ropes where Ricardo gets in a shot, allowing Del Rio to take over.

Alberto comes in off the top with an elbow to the head for two and it’s off to the arm for the champion. Both guys have arm finishers which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights out of the hold but can’t hook the GTS as Del Rio hooks a DDT on the arm. The champ drops knees on the arm and we hit about the 8th armbar of the match. Punk breaks that one as well but charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

CM ducks a charge to send Alberto to the floor and things slow down again. Back in and Punk makes a comeback with a lot of strikes to the head and a neckbreaker for two. The knee in the corner and bulldog get the same but Alberto counters the GTS into a Backstabber for two. A running enziguri in the corner gets a VERY close two on Punk and now it’s Alberto that’s frustrated.

Del Rio loads up a superplex in the corner but Punk knocks him off and loads up the Macho Elbow but gets crotched. Alberto gets in a hard kick to the arm but misses a charge into the post while Punk is still on top. Now the Macho Elbow hits to a big pop but it only gets two. The crowd is really getting into these kickouts now. Punk shouts for the GTS but Alberto counters it for the third time. The armbreaker is escaped but Punk’s high kick misses as well and there’s the armbreaker on full.

After getting as close to tapping as a face is going to, Punk gets his feet in the ropes. Del Rio escapes the GTS for the fourth time because the arm isn’t there. Punk kicks Ricardo in the face and gets rolled up with trunks for two. The high kick gets two for CM so he immediately puts on the Vice and wins Del Rio is in big trouble. He grabs at Punk’s face (realistic, nice) but has to tap and Punk wins the title.

Rating: A. I don’t remember liking this as well the first time but this was a really good match. Del Rio seemed like a real threat to keep the title here as Punk’s arm just wasn’t going to be able to do hit the GTS. The Vice is a little more realistic and I can live with him being able to do that so even the ending is ok. This was a very solid match, but the problem with the story overall is the title changes happening so rapidly.

In short, Del Rio getting two title reigns and Cena getting one out of all this didn’t need to happen. Punk could have won at Summerslam, beaten Del Rio cashing in here, and things would have been much stronger. But hey, that would mean MITB would be interesting instead of there for a shock value and we can’t have that.

Finkel does the “and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW” WWE Champion call. Punk is the new WWE Champion having won it in the middle of Madison Square Garden and The Fink got to tell the people about it. Is there a cooler moment in wrestling? No, there isn’t.

Punk celebrates for a long time post match. As I’m writing this (November 7, 2012), he’s STILL champion.

Austin has yet another DVD.

We recap Awesome Truth vs. Rock/Cena. Cena had beaten up both guys before a tag match was made for this show. He was told he could pick ANYONE he wanted as a partner so he picked The Great One. Pay no attention to the PPV ad that played at the end of HIAC and advertised the match before Cena officially picked his partner. Basically the only way Awesome Truth (Miz/R-Truth) can win is to have Rock and Cena implode. Other than that we’re looking at a squash.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Cena leaves so Rock can have him moment, but Rock calls him back in. Cena’s posing gets booed, Rock’s gets cheered. Rock lays out Cena with a Rock Bottom to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is an AWESOME show with a great world title match and a solid main event. The problem was it didn’t sell that well and it’s really clear why: the main event was a bad idea. The whole idea of Rock vs. Cena at Mania was that it was Rock’s first match in 8 years. Well now it’s Rock’s first match in about five months and for what? Rock and Cena had beaten up both guys one on two leading up to the match. There was no doubt as to who was going to win and nothing was on the line, so why watch the match? There was no reason and not a lot of people did. Still though, great show and worth seeing.

That’s the end of the Survivor Series Redo Count-Up and it really was fun to do this. A lot of the shows were about the same the second time around, but one thing is very clear: I was freaking WORDY back in the day. All of these reviews were shorter this time around and that’s probably better. Anyway, I’ll be back for the Rumble, Wrestlemania and Summerslam versions of these. Thanks for reading and supporting me all these years to the point where I can do another set of these. I really appreciate you all.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres

Original: C

Redo: C

Team Barrett vs. Team Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: A

The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A

The World Title really changed things for me here. Still a great show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/20/survivor-series-2011-rock-still-has-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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