Looking at the importance of titles in wrestling and how to make them the most important thing on the show again.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-gold-makes-rules/35174/

Maybe I can start getting these things done before the next show starts. We’re firmly into the Extreme Rules build now, and by firmly into I mean we’re almost to the show. Therefore we need some stipulations for the big matches but we’re taped, meaning it’s not likely to be the most thrilling show. Let’s get to it.

Cena opened things up with the Open Challenge for the US Title and beat Bad News Barrett in a decent enough match. These two have fought so many times over the years that it’s kind of hard to care anymore, but at least the Challenges are doing their job. I’d like to see someone from NXT debut through one and hopefully they continue after Extreme Rules. Speaking of after, Rusev came out and blasted Cena with a chain to set up a Russian Chain match for the PPV. It makes sense given Rusev being involved but these matches have a high rate of suck more often than not.

Paige won a Divas Battle Royal for the #1 contendership to give the fans something to cheer. Naomi then turned heel and beat her down so Paige can go off to make a movie. They REALLY need to stop building people up and then send them away for six weeks to make a movie that 87 people might see. Or maybe they should stop with the bad movies and just do what they did before: pick a movie that is going to be seen and slap their name on it.

On top of that, as I went on about on Smackdown, who does this leave as a face Diva? Emma? Fox is acting like a heel and turns every four days anyway, the Bellas, Cameron and Naomi are confirmed heels and Paige is leaving. Are they really hoping that a returning Layla is going to be a big deal? Natalya is supposed to be a heel but wrestles like a face because her psychology is all messed up, but she’s awesome. Right?

Bray Wyatt has a new target. Yeah whatever. Go win a big match already.

The Lucha Dragons beat up the Ascension because that’s what they do. They did it in NXT and they’re doing it on Raw. I still feel bad for Ascension but they were dead in the water months ago.

Roman Reigns came out and talked about going to Suplex City until Big Show came out to continue THE STUPIDEST FEUD IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Show beat him up on the props but Roman kept getting up. Indeed, it’s for a last man standing match. Of all the things I’d love to grab Vince by the throat for and shout at him about, keeping Big Show in this spot is one of them. How can they possibly think that beating up Big Show over and over and over and over and over and over and I think you get the point by now, is going to help Reigns look like a big deal?

Orton beat Cesaro via DQ to earn the right to pick a stipulation, but then Kane came out to make sure the Tag Team Champions were hurt as much as they could and made Orton vs. both of them. As you would expect, Orton beat both of them in one match because he could. By this point, this show was starting to make my head hurt.

Rollins yelled at Kane and teased getting him fired by the Authority. So yes, the two stories that are being built up are the Divas battle royal from last week and what seems like another Kane face turn. BECAUSE THAT CREATES RATINGS BECAUSE KANE IS BIG! LIKE BIG SHOW!!! Rollins wants Kane to lay down later. One last thing though: Rollins emasculates Kane and it seems like he’s going to rise up because of it. Stephanie emasculates people and they get to stand there and take it.

Dean Ambrose beat Adam Rose to remind us that Dean Ambrose does in fact exist.

Big Show tried to talk Kane out of turning on the Authority. Bryan would do the opposite later, but Bryan brought up the Fingerpoke of Doom because we must make fun of WCW, despite a lot of the fans not even being alive for that moment. But hey, it makes Vince smile at his past accomplishments and that’s what we need to do.

Fandango beat Stardust in a filler match which set up Fandango turning face and dumping Rosa. I highly doubt this is the big career saver he’s needing.

Kane beat up Rollins and the Stooges before laying down for him. For the thousandth time, no one cares about Kane in this role.

Mizdow beat Miz in another short match to set up a big match later on, because that’s how WWE works.

The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. I’ve gone into this in depth elsewhere, but this is the best thing that has ever happened to these guys.

Ryback beat Luke Harper in yet another short match because we need time for Kane segments.

Naomi explains that she’s tired of getting passed up for people like AJ. Thankfully it wasn’t another IT’S ALL ABOUT ME character but my goodness this division is dying for faces. It’s interesting that they keep mentioning AJ’s name.

Dolph Ziggler beat Neville in another entertaining match. This is the Mighty Mouse gimmick that everyone who didn’t think the thing through was terrified of.

Rollins and Orton announced that it’s going to be a cage match with the RKO banned. Ok then. Seriously that was my reaction. A brawl ended the show.

This show pretty much just came and went. There’s not much going on at the moment that makes me want to see the next show, but there’s a difference between being horrible and just being dull. They really need to get past the Wrestlemania rematches, but we’re likely getting ready for yet another round of these matches in May. Hopefully that means a strong start to the summer, but this was really nothing worth seeing. Neville is still a high spot though and could mean something big later on. Not much to see this week, except for the dozens and dozens of Kane and Big Show fans out there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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So yeah this one is kind of late but it’s been a very hectic week and reviewing a show that didn’t do too much for me in the first place wasn’t really high on my priority list. We’re past the Wrestlemania season now and things are about to settle way back down. It’s now the Wrestlemania rematch season though and that can be a rough go. Let’s get to it.

The opening was, of course, the Authority but thankfully without HHH and Stephanie, who are on vacation for the next few weeks. After a few unintentional shots at Kane for not doing much at Wrestlemania, Rollins bragged about how great he was. Well he’s certainly getting into the heel champion schtick already. Orton came out, said his usual stuff, and was put into a triple threat for the #1 contendership against Ryback and Reigns. All three will have singles matches first though.

Before we get to the first match, there’s something that needs to be noted here: Rollins is VERY lucky that the Authority hasn’t been on Raw for the last two weeks (if you count the week after this show). If they’re on the show with him and associated with him, they’re going to dominate whatever scene they’re in because Raw is completely centered around the two of them (and by the two of them I mean Stephanie because we all know this is her company). Let Rollins have some spotlight as the new champion, at least until the bosses get back.

I’ll sum up the three matches here: Orton beat Kane in a short match via DQ, Ryback beat Luke Harper in an even shorter match with only one big move, and Reigns pinned Big Show because what else would he be doing? None of these were anything worth seeing, but they certainly did help fill in time on the show. What else were they going to do? Give the Divas a chance out there?

Neville’s second match on Raw was against Seth Rollins. Of course Rollins won, but I’ve actually seen people saying Neville is being buried. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Curtis Axel, Seth Rollins, Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus this Thursday. In his five TV matches on the main roster, the lowest level guy he’s fought is a former Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion. That’s one of the best groups of opponents I’ve ever seen someone start against.

This week’s open challenge for the US Title was answered by Stardust. That’s exactly what this thing should be used for: giving someone like Stardust, who isn’t going anywhere at this point, a good match and something interesting to do for one night. When else is he getting a title shot or a match with Cena? Stardust loses to a guy he’s supposed to lose to, Cena beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and we get a title defense in a good match. Everyone wins, except the fans that don’t get how common sense and logic work.

Naomi pinned Nikki again in a tag match with Paige joining her against the Bellas. This was a horrible match with Naomi botching a ton of stuff and the Bellas proving every criticism of them right: they have no flow in the ring, they have limited charisma, their work is ok at best and there’s nothing interesting to them. But that’s what we’re getting in the Divas division because what else could we ever get?

The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. This is more interesting than anything else they’ve ever done so run with that thing.

The New Day doesn’t like the fans booing them because their clapping gives them strength. This was another chance for Big E. to show off his comedic chops as he imitated a young kid. Why they use him like they do when they clearly know about his other talents is beyond me. Then the Lucha Dragons beat them in a short match because New Day sucks.

A bunch of Divas came up to Kane and asked for a #1 contenders battle royal next week. Of all the things they can set up in advance, it’s a DIVAS BATTLE ROYAL???

Sheamus came out and explained that he’s acting this way because he’s tired of the little guys getting pushed. He’d fight anyone his size, and then he beat Mark Henry in about two and a half minutes. Another hometown boy bites the dust.

Bray Wyatt has a new target. Let me know when he actually beats one of these targets.

Miz cheated to beat Mizdow. You can pencil in Mizdow beating Miz with the same move next week.

Orton won the triple threat to go to Extreme Rules in a quick but decent match with the Authority interfering as much as you would expect them to.

This was resetting things for Raw and there wasn’t a lot to see on it. There’s enough good on it to make the show work, but this was about setting up things for later on instead of getting things done tonight. It wasn’t anything to see though and that makes for a dull show instead of a bad one, which often times makes for a worse show. Not much to say here, which you can probably tell.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 13, 2015
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T

We’re taped from England tonight as the build to Extreme Rules continues. Coming off last week, we know Randy Orton is going to be challenging Seth Rollins for the World Title at the next pay per view but we don’t have much more set up than that. The only match announced so far is a Divas battle royal for the title shot against Nikki Bella. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with John Cena to a very loud JOHN CENA SUCKS to the tune of his music. Even Cena seems a bit blown away by how intense it is tonight. Cena brings up the London crowd not liking him all that much but it means they have more energy than any crowd WWE performs for.

He gets them on his side by saying London deserves Wrestlemania and has to pause for the YES chant. Those in charge have decided to wait for a London Wrestlemania, much like Rusev waiting to challenge for the US Title. The open challenge is on right now so here’s Bad News Barrett to a nice reaction to accept. Why wait for his Intercontinental Title shot at Extreme Rules?

US Title: Bad News Barrett vs. John Cena

The fans are almost entirely behind Barrett as he shrugs off a headlock and kicks Cena to the floor. Back in and the champ puts on another headlock so Bad News kicks him in the face again. The knees to the head in the ropes have Cena in even more trouble and Barrett hits another big boot to knock Cena to the floor one more time. Cena comes back with a dropkick and a high cross body for two. He’s been adding more moves lately and it’s always nice to see.

Barrett rolls to the floor to avoid the Shuffle and sends Cena into the steps. A missed top rope elbow lets Cena hit the Shuffle this time but the AA is countered into Winds of Change for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Barrett is too close to the ropes. A low superkick gets two for Bad News and both guys are down. Barrett throws him into the corner for another kick to the face, setting up Wasteland for another near fall.

The AA gets two (when was the last time the first one of those pinned someone not named Stardust?) and the Bull Hammer gets the same (when was the last time Cena didn’t kick out of a finisher?), followed by the springboard Stunner into the second AA to retain Cena’s title at 9:55.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it felt like they were going through the motions here more than having a naturally good match. It doesn’t help that it’s clear that Cena is retaining until Extreme Rules, but could you at least make it feel like Barrett has a better chance? Also, stop kicking out of the finisher and having the AA only get two. We get the concept now.

Post match Lana comes out to distract Cena so Rusev can come in and get a cheap shot with a chain. The rematch is officially a Russian chain match.

We recap Orton winning the triple threat last week to get the pay per view title shot.

Orton vs. Cesaro and Rollins vs. Ziggler tonight. If Rollins and/or Orton win, they get to pick the stipulations for Extreme Rules.

Battle Royal

Rosa Mendes, Paige, Naomi, Natalya, Cameron, Summer Rae, Alicia Fox, Emma

Winner gets Nikki Bella at Extreme Rules and the Bellas are on commentary. Everyone pairs off and Rosa actually dropkicks Summer and Natalya, only to get dropkicked out a few seconds later. Another dropkick, this time from Fox, gets rid of Emma. Cameron and Alicia team up to go after Paige and get loudly booed, only to have Paige slide back in. A double Rear View puts Cameron down and Alicia gets rid of Paige, leaving her with Naomi as the final two. They fight to the apron with both coming close to elimination, only to have Paige avoid the Rear View, allowing her to superkick her to the floor at 3:50.

Rating: D-. Well that sucked, just like most Divas battle royals. The Bellas are great at getting on my nerves, but unfortunately they have to get in the ring at some point and that makes things even worse. They’re more annoying than anything else and that’s not what you want as the face of a division. Hopefully Naomi gets back in this as she belongs in the title scene.

Post break Paige reminds us of her success in WWE so far but says nothing feels better than to win this match in England. She remembers getting paid five pounds for a match when she was wrestling in high school gyms but now she’s in front of her family and friends on the biggest stage of them all. Naomi comes back in and lays out Paige before driving her into the barricade.

Bray talks about a certain someone he’s becoming obsessed with and it’s becoming a sin. Love can blind everything and whoever he’s talking about is in luck. Bray has decided to reach inside himself and pull out the love that is growing like a cancer. Fear is stronger than any love can be because it can take away what you care about. Still no word on who he’s talking about.

Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension

These teams just can’t get away from each other. Ascension doesn’t get an entrance but they do share an NXT chant. The big guys throw Cara around to start but a quick hot tag brings in Kalisto to hit his springboard twisting cross body. Cara hits Konnor with a suicide dive, setting up the Salida Del Sol and the Swanton Bomb to pin Viktor at 2:18.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his first interview since Wrestlemania. The fans chant SUPLEX CITY and Reigns remembers going there. He busted Brock up though and gave the fans the fight he and Brock had promised them. This brings interviewer Booker T to Seth Rollins, who Reigns was about to face had it not been for Big Show. Reigns thinks Show has just been following Rollins around lately and the fans seem to agree.

This brings Big Show onto the screen to say he’s loved making Reigns into the biggest failure in WWE history. He’s going to turn him into a football league? It was his pleasure to stop Reigns every week and he’s going to keep doing it every chance he gets. Reigns says Show should come out here and say that to his face so Reigns can shove the trophy down his throat.

Reigns goes to leave but Big Show jumps him, throwing Reigns into parts of the set and against the door of the cab. He adds a chokeslam on top of the cab, which doesn’t give way.

Randy Orton vs. Cesaro

If Orton wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the World Title match at Extreme Rules. Cesaro takes over with some European uppercuts in the corner and a double stomp for no cover. Kidd is enjoying the match so much that he’s taken his headphones off. We hit the chinlock on Randy but Orton fights up and comes back, only to have Kidd grab his leg for the DQ at 2:19.

Post match Kane comes out and says he’s still in charge because the Authority is back from vacation but don’t want to be in London. He can’t let this match end in a DQ so he’s restarting it as a handicap match.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets double teamed and we quickly take a break. Back with Cesaro hammering away in the corner before it’s off to Kidd, who launches Orton into a European uppercut for two. Orton fights back but Cesaro pulls his partner to the floor to avoid an RKO. That’s fine with Orton who drops Cesaro back first onto the barricade, only to eat Tyson’s knee to the face. Back in and Kidd’s springboard elbow (love that move) gets two, but Cesaro gets throw to the floor, allowing Orton to catch another springboard in an RKO for the pin on Kidd at 6:46.

Rating: D+. Well Cesaro and Kidd, it was nice while it lasted but you’re now the victims of being Tag Team Champions. I have no idea why we needed to see Orton beat both of them at once, when having him beat either Cesaro or both of them in back to back singles matches would have accomplished the same basic result. But then again, why not have the champions look like losers if you can?

Rollins gets on Kane’s back for Orton winning but Kane tells him to beat Ziggler tonight. Rollins thinks that’s too dangerous, so he’s facing Jamie Noble instead. Noble doesn’t like the idea of laying down when Kane got them into this mess. Kane has another idea involving Jamie’s testicles and a car battery. Rollins backs Noble up and says Kane’s job is to protect the title. Maybe Kane should be the one laying down tonight. If Kane doesn’t like that, maybe they should just call HHH. Notice something here: Seth is emasculating Kane to set up a face turn. Stephanie emasculates people and we never see a comeback.

Adam Rose vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose goes right at him to start but Rose takes it to the mat for a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Dean fights back up with chops and punches before hitting some running forearms. He follows up with a suicide dive and Rose is in big trouble. Back inside and Rose knocks him into the ropes for the rebound clothesline, followed by Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:08. Nothing match but when was the last time Ambrose won a match clean?

Big Show reminds Kane of Survivor Series where he turned on John Cena. He knows the Authority is the winning side and warns Kane about crossing the Authority. Kane understands and says he’ll do what’s best for business against Rollins.

Fandango vs. Stardust

Well this is…..something. Stardust runs him over to start and tells the fans his name. Fandango goes up but Stardust rolls away and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 1:10.

Post match Fandango blames Rosa for the loss and dances on the table to his old music, sending the crowd into a HUGE Fandangoing dance. See, why do this after a loss? Why not have him beat like, Heath Slater without having Rosa out there and say that’s why he hasn’t been winning? Same result, no loss.

Daniel Bryan can’t believe Kane is going to lay down and brings up the Fingerpoke of Doom of all things to say how stupid it was. Kane finally snaps but Bryan tells him to go out there and be a man. For goodness’ sake STOP TALKING ABOUT WCW LIKE IT WAS TRASH. We get it: fourteen years ago you beat a show that wasn’t even on the air six years. LET THE THING DIE ALREADY.

Rusev vs. Cena is officially a Russian chain match.

Seth Rollins vs. Kane

If Rollins wins, he gets to pick a stipulation for the match vs. Rollins at Extreme Rules. Kane is out in a suit but starts disrobing after the bell rings. He gets in Seth’s face but hears that it’s best for business. Kane slowly lays down but stands up, drawing in the Stooges. They’re both thrown to the floor so Rollins yells at him, only to get smacked in the face. Rollins tells him to lay down but eventually eats a chokeslam. Kane signals for the tombstone but stops mid throat slit. He lays down again and pulls Rollins on top of him for the pin at 4:35.

Rating: C+. Well they started slow but that second batch of staring was straight out of Funk vs. Brisco back in 68. Just great stuff there. Unfortunately it was downhill from there and the Stooges interfering ruined what was otherwise great stuff. Still though, that 18 seconds of staring made it work. Good enough match.

Miz vs. Damien Mizdow

Mizdow has Summer Rae with him after kissing her on Smackdown. After spending a minute on the disrobing, Miz jumps Mizdow to get going. A quick Reality Check puts Miz down but neither can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead, Mizdow rolls him up for the pin at 2:10.

This week, the Prime Time Players make fun of Los Matadores by pulling out a stuffed rainbow bear to represent Torito. Young: “Rainbow is my favorite color!” Titus asks why two guys from Puerto Rico are bullfighters. Cue the Millions of Dollars dance. These promos are nothing special, but man alive they’ve actually got me liking the Players a bit. Imagine that: you get to know a wrestler a bit better and you actually have a bit of a connection to them.

Cole calls the announcements of the stipulations the Extreme Decisions and says people have been calling it by that name tonight. WHO IS CALLING IT THAT COLE??? WHO BESIDES YOU HAS CALLED IT THAT IN THE LAST FIFTEEN MINUTES???

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

Ryback hammers away to start but Harper shoves him out of the corner. A superkick drops Ryback though and it’s Gator Roll time. Back up and Harper has to roll away from the Meat Hook so he heads outside, where he nails Ryback with a piece of the announcers’ table for the DQ at 1:50.

Naomi is disappointed in herself for attacking Paige out there but cracks up and says she couldn’t care less. See, it’s all about her not being Divas Champion. Why did they have to have a battle royal tonight after she pinned Nikki twice? She was in the same season of NXT as AJ Lee but AJ is gone and Naomi hasn’t had her chance yet. Why is AJ considered a legend already? It’s time for her to get her shot. Thank goodness it wasn’t another “it’s all about me” character.

Dolph Ziggler questions Kane laying down for Rollins as being best for business. Tonight though, he wants to compete in this ring so it’s open challenge time.

Neville vs. Dolph Ziggler

Good pop for Neville, as usual. A quick wristdrag takes Dolph down and Neville flips into the corner. He takes Dolph down and hits a standing shooting star before slapping on a chinlock. The running DDT plants him for two though and we take a break. Back with Neville throwing Ziggler into the air for a big crash. Dolph makes the mistake of rolling to the floor for a HUGE springboard moonsault and it’s all Neville so far.

Neville slides in but slides right back out, walks the barricade and hits a 450 onto Dolph to really get the crowd into things (with good reason. That looked GREAT). Back in and Neville hits a standing enziguri but charges into a superkick for two. Neville comes back with another kick but can’t hit the Red Arrow. He misses a charge too and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 9:09.

Rating: B-. Neville is a great guy to have on the roster as he has a good look and can fly all over the place to pop the crowd. The key thing to him is that he doesn’t wrestle like a small guy, but rather a guy who happens to be small. As long as they don’t acknowledge his size too much, it’s never going to be a detriment against him.

Ziggler checks on Neville post match but gets run over by Sheamus. Neville takes a Brogue Kick but Ziggler fights back, only to be taken to the floor for a Brogue Kick of his own.

It’s time for the announcement of the stipulations and Rollins has a La-Z-Boy. The Stooges have their own leather chairs but Orton isn’t impressed. Orton wants to fight right now but Rollins would rather just announce his stipulation: at Extreme Rules, the RKO is banned. Orton likes that thinking and wants to take away Rollins’ best weapon as well. That’s not his speed or intelligence, but rather the Authority. Therefore, it’s a cage match at Extreme Rules, which takes away some of Rollins’ smirk. Orton wants to fight now and cleans house but Rollins runs from a DDT attempt, leaving Mercury to take the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show and I’m really liking where things seem to be going at the moment. There’s some questionable stuff for sure, but we’re getting better motivation from wrestlers than we’ve had in a long time. The key to that change: they’re telling us. If there are two things that drives me crazy in wrestling it’s getting no explanation or being told we don’t deserve one. Just something simple like “I don’t like small people” or “I beat the champ twice and should be #1 contender” tell us more than enough to warrant a feud. Keep that up and things will get better every week.

Results

John Cena b. Bad News Barrett – Attitude Adjustment

Paige won a battle royal last eliminating Naomi

Lucha Dragons b. Ascension – Swanton Bomb to Viktor

Randy Orton b. Cesaro via DQ when Tyson Kidd interfered

Randy Orton b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – RKO to Kidd

Dean Ambrose b. Adam Rose – Dirty Deeds

Stardust b. Fandango – Disaster Kick

Seth Rollins b. Kane – Kane laid down

Damien Mizdow b. Miz – Rollup

Ryback b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper hit Ryback with the announcers’ table

Dolph Ziggler b. Neville – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The documentary about WWE music.

This is one of the shows in the series that I had been really looking forward to watching and it was actually far better than I was expecting. It’s another countdown format but with WWE music king Jim Johnston hosting (kind of) and talking about each song. As someone with as much musical talent as a Coke machine, it’s fascinating to see someone who has put together this many different kinds of songs and made a lot of really catchy stuff. I mean, the guy made songs for everyone from Fandango to Undertaker to Orton and a lot of points in between.

If nothing else, it’s awesome to see someone pick up a guitar or sit down at a piano and make WWE songs come out. You can tell this guy is really, really good at what he does and it’s clear that he knows exactly what he’s talking about when he breaks down the process of the songs and what was going through his head when he put them together. The countdown has some rather questionable picks for a top 25 (Prime Time Players? No DiBiase?) and the worst part about this it’s only a little over 50 minutes long. This really could have done better without so many comments from wrestlers and a lot more from Johnston as he literally wrote about 90% of WWE music over the years.

Assuming he didn’t request it, this somehow got him a job writing soundtracks for WWE Films. Anyway, it’s really cool to see something like this instead of the 19^th rehashing of the Monday Night Wars or the career of someone we’ve covered to death. I’d love to see more behind the scenes stuff like this as the entrance music is something taken for granted a lot of the time, but it really can push someone over the top. Check this out if it’s something you even only kind of care about as it’s really interesting and less than an hour total.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 6, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the regular style shows this week with Wrestlemania season wrapped up. The big story coming out of last week was Brock Lesnar’s suspension, meaning we’re not likely to see him again for a few months. In the meantime, we have Randy Orton challenging for the World Title at Extreme Rules, which is likely the focus of tonight’s show. We also find out who is answering this week’s open challenge for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

Saxton is in for Cole on commentary.

We look at some stills of HHH vs. Sting.

The Authority is in the ring minus HHH and Stephanie. Rollins is booed out of the building but Big Show says the champion is trying to talk. Seth says the Authority is on vacation tonight before bragging about the attendance record, the number of people watching and the number of times they trended worldwide. That last part sounded so stupid. HHH put the final nail in WCW’s coffin because the Authority always win. Big Show is officially the best giant of all time and Kane…..well Kane was there too!

Show says everyone on this roster is under his shadow but the important thing is Wrestlemania ended with a new, honorable champion. Rollins again fails at coming up with something Kane did at Wrestlemania but before Kane can give his answer, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt. Randy congratulates him on having his Wrestlemania moment. Of course it happened after a huge RKO took him out earlier in the night.

Rollins calls that complaining but Orton says he wants another shot, this time for the title. I’m pretty sure that match was already confirmed on Smackdown, or at least heavily implied. Orton asks Kane for the shot, and even asks if Kane needs to call mommy and daddy for permission. Kane demands respect and makes a three way match for the #1 contendership tonight between Orton, Reigns and Ryback. As usual, I had that typed before Kane even started because WWE is that predictable these days. However, Kane mixes things up a bit by saying all three of them have to compete in singles matches first.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Randy gets to the middle rope to start and drives in some forearms to the chest, only to get caught by an uppercut to knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Kane stomping away but getting caught in the elevated DDT. They head outside with Orton nailing a clothesline, only to take a chair to the ribs for the DQ at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the storyline ending.

Post match Kane tries a chokeslam on the chair but Orton counters into an RKO attempt, sending Kane running.

The announcers bring up AJ retiring and show a tweet of her boots.

Brad Maddox is in Kane’s office when Rollins comes in to yell at Kane. The priority is to protect Rollins, but for some reason Kane doesn’t get that. Kane takes credit for Rollins winning Money in the Bank, so Rollins says Kane is going to have to answer to the Authority. That’s fine with Kane, as he puts Rollins in a match tonight. For those of you counting, that would be five matches made during the show.

Cole is considering legal actions against Lesnar. JBL had to have emergency surgery for a torn abdomen wall and Booker wants Lesnar fired. Yay! Legal ramifications!

We look back at Lesnar’s path of rage last week.

The WWE Network is free for April. That’s the third free month out of six.

Seth Rollins vs. Neville

Non-title and Rollins is suddenly far less nervous. He grabs a mic and talks some trash to Neville, saying Neville must be terrified to be out here. Rollins has been there before too and offers the pipsqueak a chance to sit this one out. Neville kicks him in the ribs and we’re ready to go. A quick armdrag puts the champ down but he stomps Neville in the corner to take over. Neville does his front flip out of the corner and hurricanranas Seth to the floor, setting up a big flip dive. He slides back in to avoid the Stooges and we take a break. Back with Neville being sent face first into the middle buckle and Seth dropping knees to the face.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins picks him up for some knees to the ribs. Seth is toying with him as he drives some elbows into the head before putting on another chinlock. A running clothesline flips Neville inside out but he counters the buckle bomb with a hurricanrana. It’s Red Arrow time but Mercury offers a distraction so Noble can break it up. Instead it’s a quick rollup for two on Seth, who counters another hurricanrana into the buckle bomb. Curb Stomp ends Neville at 11:39.

Rating: C+. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Neville is not buried, isn’t being buried, and doesn’t even have any dirt on him. If you need an explanation for why, I’ve failed at teaching you anything. This was a good showcase for Neville but there was no other logical way this could end without interference. The fact that Neville is in this spot two weeks in is a great sign for the future.

Rollins gives him another Curb Stomp after the match.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. The city of Austin has declared this WWE Day so Cena is extra fired up. A lot of fans want him to come out and lose the title already, but this title is a symbol of opportunity. Someone can come out here and have a chance to put their name in the history books. Take Rusev for example. He wants his rematch for the title, but for some reason he wants to wait until Extreme Rules. Why not have the match tonight in Austin? Anyway, someone can come out here right now and step up to get stepped on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Stardust

Cena grabs a headlock to start and throws Stardust to the ropes, only to have him skin the cat. Back in and Cena drops some elbows as the announcers talk about Back to the Future for no logical reason. A delayed suplex gets two for the champ as Cena is mixing things up this week. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Stardust bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena diving into a dropkick and Stardust hitting something like Diamond Dust for two.

What looks to be a springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Cena a near fall of his own. The AA doesn’t work so Stardust hooks an Alabama Slam for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered as well and Cena plants him with a kind of sitout powerslam. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Stardust kicks him in the head and gets another close cover off a DDT.

A moonsault press gets the same and Cena is in some trouble. It’s not enough trouble though as he trips Stardust into the STF. Stardust is close to the ropes though and hits a quick Cross Rhodes for two. That’s enough for Cena as he hits the springboard Stunner and the AA retains the title at 13:10.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what the open challenge should be doing: giving someone you don’t usually see in a spot like this getting a chance to showcase themselves. Good match here with Stardust getting to show off a bit but ultimately coming up short. What I liked best about this match though: it was fresh. I’ll take a match with an obvious ending over a match we’ve seen 19 times before almost every time.

Naomi/Paige vs. Bella Twins

The Bella Twins’ name graphic now lists them both as Divas Champion. I know it’s not intentional but it’s probably more accurate than they intended. Brie takes Paige into the ropes to start and sends her to the floor for a hard shot from Nikki. The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Off to Nikki for a bodyscissors for a bit before Nikki misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. She botches a spinning headscissors before kicking Nikki in the face before slipping on a landing out of the corner. The Rear View gets two with Brie making the save, only to have Paige kick Nikki down. The headscissors driver gets zero reaction but it’s enough to pin Nikki at 5:00.

Rating: D-. Sweet Christmas the Bellas are dull in the ring. They’re just not interesting no matter how you look at them and there’s nothing in the ring that makes me want to watch them. It didn’t help that Naomi was botching almost everything she was doing here and looked more like Cameron than anyone else. Horrible match that gave me flashbacks to the dark days of the division.

The announcers talk about Miz vs. Mizdow but we go to the Prime Time Players ripping on New Day with the same insults from Smackdown. They switch over to making fun of Ascension with some home made spiked shoulder pads that keep breaking. Ascension can’t read either and they hit the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks.

Luke Harper vs. Ryback

Harper nails a quick dropkick to start and a big boot sends Ryback to the floor. After teasing loading up the announcers’ table, Harper takes him back inside for a Boss Man Slam and something like a crossface. Ryback gets the rope, avoids a charge to send Harper into the post and hits Shell Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 2:48. That was his only significant move of the match.

The New Day is hurt and disappointed by the crowd thinking they suck, but they won’t find disappointment in their dancing. They clap or they snap. Big E. says he was eating at the airport yesterday when a kid came up and asked him (with Big E. doing a kid’s voice) to sign a breakfast menu for his brother. Of course he could, because he claps. It really doesn’t make more sense in context.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Kofi is on the floor this time but his slapping of the apron makes the fans chant NEW DAYS SUCKS in time. Big E. runs Cara over to start and both he and Woods take turns stomping away in the corner. Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya are watching in the back as Woods gives up the hot tag to Kalisto. Things speed way up with Kalisto snapping off the hurricanrana but Big E. makes the save. Cara low bridges Big E. to the floor but Kofi gets in a cheap shot from the floor to give Woods two on Kalisto. Woods like the cheating but the Dragons make a blind tag, allowing the Salida Del Sol to set up the Swanton from Cara to pin Woods at 2:59.

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Because, uh, reasons! They slug it out to start with Show taking him into the corner for some chops. Show throws him across the ring by the vest and stands on his back on the ropes. They head outside with Show slowly plodding around and throwing Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes back with a running apron kick but Show spears him down as we take a break. Back with Big Show still dominating because, uh, reasons!

Show charges into a boot in the corner and gets staggered by some clotheslines, only to catch Reigns in a side slam. The bouncing Vader Bomb gets two more and Show baseball slides him into the barricade. Reigns comes up to the apron and hammers away before Stunning Show over the apron. The Superman Punch from the floor sets up another in the ring. The third sets up the spear for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. I did not like this match. I am ceasing this rating description for reasons as an exercise in anger management due to a desire to not die at the age of 43, which is also Big Show’s current age, which is usually when wrestlers retire but he’s still out there getting to dominate people and for some reason WWE doesn’t get that we don’t care.

Kane is on the phone when a bunch of Divas come in to hit on him. They bring up the “Give Divas A Chance movement” (Alicia’s finger quotes, not mine) and ask for a #1 contenders battle royal. Kane makes the match for next week to get rid of them.

Reigns says watch what he does next.

Here’s Sheamus to say he looks like a real man. The fans tell him that he looks stupid but he says the grown up is talking now. He’s a warrior who belongs here, unlike the go getters who just won’t go away. People like Dolph Ziggler are insects who need to be crushed. Sheamus is told to pick on people his size, but there aren’t too many his size. Cue his opponent.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry is the hometown boy. Sheamus goes to leave but gets pulled back into the ring to start the fight. The bell rings and Henry blocks a kick with a right hand to the face. A top wristlock goes badly for Sheamus as he’s shoved to the floor. Back up and Sheamus can’t finish the ten forearms as Henry elbows him in the face, only to have Sheamus nail some knee lifts on the apron. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick for the pin at 2:33. Booker calls Sheamus a viking for no apparent reason.

We look at the big talking segment from Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt shows up on screen and says someone’s entire life revolves around dedication. However dedicated you are, you can’t compete with the forces of nature. You can’t compete against fear either, for it is not your drive for success that motivates you. What motivates you is fear and it holds the key to your undoing. Does he have your attention now? Behold the new face of fear.

Ryback is hungry for the WWE World Title.

Damien Mizdow vs. Miz

We get a battle of sunglasses removal to start but Mizdow knocks him to the floor before taking his off. Back in and Mizdow chokes him in the corner but eats a big boot to the face. Mizdow shoves him to the corner but doesn’t seem that comfortable on offense. A snap suplex and knee drop keep Miz in trouble. Mizdow scores with an electric chair and headbutt, followed by the Reality Check for no cover. Miz tries a low blow but gets taken down and punched in the face. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Mizdow at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This show is going WAY too long and it’s starting to drag horribly. It’s pretty clear that this match was designed to set up a gimmick rematch, maybe for the rights to the name and the music, at Extreme Rules. Nothing much to see here though, other than Mizdow looking awkward on offense at times.

Orton has nothing against his opponents but he’s winning tonight.

Ryback vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Winner gets the title shot at Extreme Rules. Ryback tries to Shell Shock Reigns seconds in but gets taken down by Orton’s backbreaker for two. A clothesline gets the same on Reigns but Ryback throws Orton to the floor. Cue the Authority on the stage, where they can see Ryback powerslam Reigns. Roman breaks up the elevated DDT on Ryback before clotheslining him in the corner. There’s a Superman Punch to Orton but Ryback plants Reigns with a spinebuster.

The Meat Hook puts Reigns down again but Ryback has to stop Orton with a spinebuster as well. Reigns breaks up Shell Shock on Orton with a spear and all three are down. Now the Authority starts coming to the ring but Reigns dives on all of them. Show KO Punches him though, only to have Rollins go after Orton. Cue the Stooges to go after Orton but Ryback beats them up. The RKO on Ryback sends Orton to Extreme Rules at 5:18.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t bad while it lasted. I’m getting back into Ryback but there was almost no way Orton didn’t win here. Unfortunately it really seems that they’re setting up Reigns vs. Big Show again, despite the interest just not being there. That never stopped them before though.

Rollins hits a Curb Stomp before we can hear what the voices do in Orton’s head.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more good than bad but it really started dragging at about 10:30. At the end of the day, three hours is just too long for a single wrestling show every week. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talent was working twice tonight and we had more than one Divas segments. The stuff with the new guys or the new characters was good, but they really need to get away from Big Show and the Bellas. Those three are just crippling whatever scenes they’re in and the fans aren’t going to lighten up on them anytime soon. Watchable show this week but it needed to be half an hour shorter.

Results

Randy Orton b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair

Seth Rollins b. Neville – Curb Stomp

John Cena b. Stardust – Attitude Adjustment

Naomi/Paige b. Bella Twins – Headscissors driver to Nikki

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Swanton Bomb to Woods

Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Randy Orton b. Ryback and Roman Reigns – RKO to Ryback

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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I really don’t think this show needs an in depth preview. It’s the Raw after Wrestlemania and the expectations are all through the roof for tonight. We’re going to see debuts, big storyline development and fallout from Wrestlemania. This is my favorite show of the year and it has a lot to live up to after last year’s edition. Let’s get to it.

We open with the only real option we had: Lesnar and Heyman, with one wanting blood and the other likely wanting to find catering. They bragged about the big title match last night and how Lesnar did exactly what he said he would but then Seth Rollins had to interfere and steal Brock’s title. Heyman threatened litigation, but Brock would rather have his rematch tonight instead. This brings out Stephanie, who actually sells the arm injury from Rousey last night, and says Rollins is on his way here and will fight when he arrives. This was basically HHH wanting a match with Bryan last year but not as memorable.

Daniel Bryan beat Dolph Ziggler to retain the Intercontinental Title with the running knee in a match the live crowd thought was FAR more entertaining than it really was. Yeah it was entertaining, but they gave the guys a standing ovation near the end. That was way more than they deserved, especially in a match that didn’t last twelve minutes. Post match Barrett came in but Sheamus returned for the save, only to turn heel and lay out Bryan and Barrett.

One of the things discussed most since last week has been Sheamus’ new mohawk haircut and braided beard. I get the idea of wanting to change things up for someone who has become as dull as Sheamus (love the in ring work, bored by the character but I still really like him overall), but dear goodness man. You can’t expect to have anyone hate this guy if they’re too busy laughing at him for his stupid haircut. I can’t imagine that lasts until even Extreme Rules, but it didn’t exactly have the intended effect. At least I hope it didn’t.

The first callup of the night was the Lucha Dragons, who stole the eight man tag also involving the New Day, Cesaro/Kidd and Ascension. Kalisto was all over the place and is definitely being tooled as the new Rey Mysterio. I dig the guy and there’s nothing wrong with having a small guy that flies all over the place and does a bunch of cool flips. Ascension is dead in the water and New Day is getting ready to go for an ill fated swim.

Now we get to the big story of the night as Brock Lesnar came out for his match with Rollins, but Seth said he was too jetlagged to fight. Brock didn’t quite care for that and beat up the Stooges and Cole, the latter of whom had a bad neck (of course he’ll be back on Raw this week because we NEED Michael Cole). He also turned over the announcers’ table, which for some reason wasn’t turned back over all night, even once Byron Saxton and Jerry Lawler came out to replace the announcers.

The big thing here though was Brock screen refreshing a cameraman and being suspended by Stephanie, whose arm is totally fine now because of course it is. This was a way to get Brock off TV for the summer, which is fine, especially considering how big of a face pop he’s going to get when he finally returns. Post break, Stephanie went into full screech mode to say Brock will be her censored, which is EXACTLY what this segment needed: Stephanie looking strong and Brock not being able to retaliate. I was getting scared there for a minute.

Damien Mizdow beat Stardust in a quick match which only existed so Miz could come out and attack Mizdow to continue their feud.

Not Adrian Neville had his big debut and beat Curtis Axel in less than eighty seconds. This was all it needed to be and Neville looks like a great high flier. Put the Adrian back though as just Neville is kind of an odd name.

Now we get to one of my favorite parts of the night: the first weekly John Cena Open Challenge for the US Title. This could open up a lot of doors with Cena possibly putting over one guy after another week after week. Now for those of you who don’t get the meaning of wrestling terms, putting someone over doesn’t mean losing to them. The best example for Cena is Damien Sandow last year. Yeah Sandow lost the match, but he never looked like a bigger deal in his career. Being paired with Cena is like being paired with Undertaker at Wrestlemania: you’re automatically a bigger deal because you get to rub elbows with him.

This week’s challenger was Dean Ambrose, who had a really good match against Cena but came up short, eventually getting caught in the AA. This was one of the longer match of the night and while it took some time to get going, once they hit the third gear with the finishing moves, I was totally into the match and bought the Dirty Deeds as a near finisher for Ambrose. Dean teased a heel turn post match but it didn’t come. I could easily see a rematch and wouldn’t complain about watching it. Good stuff here and I’m really looking forward to seeing who challenges Cena in the future. Some NXT people would be very nice choices.

Rollins bragged, Orton stared, Big Show and Kane continued to exist for reasons I don’t quite get. Well at least not this level. A six man is teased for later with Orton having to get some partners. We knew Reigns, but the question was who else.

AJ/Paige/Naomi beat the Bella Twins/Natalya in a match I already forgot about when I did the Reviewing the Review for Wrestlemania XXXI as I thought AJ’s last match was at the big show. This match is noteworthy for two things: Naomi hitting the Rear View to pin Nikki and a bunch of fans chanting some very derogatory things at the Bellas and Naomi.

Here’s the thing: yeah those chants are unnecessary and insulting, but I wouldn’t worry about them yet. You can’t base anything long term off the post Wrestlemania crowd as they exist to get themselves over. It doesn’t help that the Bellas are treated as nothing but idiotic, money obsessed sex objects on Total Divas. WWE keeps telling us to watch the show and the fans see the Divas presented that way. No they shouldn’t insult the Divas on national TV, but those ideas wouldn’t be in the fans’ heads if we didn’t head the Bellas bragging about it all the time. If this keeps going it’s a problem but I wouldn’t worry at the moment.

Ryback offers to be Orton’s partner, cementing the main event in stone.

Rusev squashed Goldust without Lana. This was just to get him back on track.

In one of the worst choices for a main event they could have picked, Reigns/Orton/Ryback beat Big Show/Kane/Rollins when Reigns speared Kane. Having Reigns out there was fine, but who in the world thought putting Big Show and Kane in front of that crowd was a good idea? I mean……WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? With this crowd and just a year after the Shield turned face to end the show last time, they go with a six man that could have main evented any given Raw or even Smackdown? That’s their big idea?

The show was a step down from last year but that’s really not a fair comparison to make. You can’t have a top level show every single year, especially when there’s no Bryan title celebration to carry the show. Reigns is going to be fine long term but he needs to do something to get back on track. Beating up Kane and Big Show even more isn’t that thing, but it seems like that’s where we’re going for the moment.

I like where things are going at the moment, but they’re running the risk of getting repetitive with the main event matches. Orton vs. Rollins makes sense for Extreme Rules, but I’m really not sure where they can go for Rollins’ next challenger. Reigns is going to be in there soon, but after those two I don’t know where they’re going.

There’s more on here to like than not like, with stuff like Sheamus returning as a heel and Cena’s upcoming open challenges are good things to see. They could build a lot off that and I’d love to see another NXT callup or two. Finally, Lesnar returning to eventually take down the Authority is going to blow the roof off the place. I can’t wait to see where they go to challenge him, but it’s going to be entertaining. Fun show this week but I’m hoping the crash back down to earth isn’t a disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I really do need to stop waiting a year and a half between these sets of shows. It’s the night after No Way Out 2003 and thank goodness that means Scott Steiner is out of the main event scene. Unfortunately it means we’re further into the era of HHH’s World Title run and the start of the Wrestlemania XIX build. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. I miss Across the Nation.

Here’s a banged up Eric Bischoff, fresh off getting beaten up by the returning Steve Austin, to open things up. Bischoff says he’s here despite what Austin tried to do to him last night and Austin is banned from the building tonight. JR: “THE AUDACITY!” That’s not really audacity JR. Tonight’s main event is a 20 man battle royal with the winner going on to Wrestlemania for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. So it’s the TV version of the Royal Rumble? Next week, Austin gets to meet Bischoff’s own personal welcoming committee.

As for tonight though, it’s all about the biggest star in the history of this industry, and here’s Hollywood Rock. Yeah he’s a Smackdown guy at the moment, but I can’t stop looking at his massive Brahma Bull belt buckle. I mean…..dang man. Rock is so awesome in this role as he can turn on the evil jerk persona at the drop of a hat. After nearly four minutes of an entrance and glaring at the crowd, we hit FINALLY but he can’t finish saying Toronto, because he’s FINALLY back Toron-his mouth on all of us.

He cuts the fans off for chanting Rocky too early before talking about whipping Hogan last night, earning him a free pass to come here tonight from Vince. Rock finally says Toronto and goes into a hilarious imitation of fans being SO happy that he said the town they live in. It was here in Toronto that the people turned on their champion last year at Wrestlemania like a bunch of mother-Canuckers.

The fans chant for Hogan but Rock points out that he’s not here tonight. Of course it doesn’t matter what these people think, because they didn’t vote for him as Superstar of the Decade at the Raw Tenth Anniversary (easily one of the stupidest shows I’ve ever seen). That award went to Steve Austin, because everyone loves Stone Cold. Everyone that is, except the Rock. There’s only one true star of the decade and guess who that is. That’s Wrestlemania people. He’s as strong as a buck and the biggest thing to hit Toronto because the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK.

The fans aren’t pleased with that one and tell Rock that he sold out so he says he’s going to clean house in the battle royal tonight and go to Wrestlemania, if you smell…..whoa whoa whoa time out. “You were the very first to boo the Rock so you lose that sing-a-long privilege!” Someone in WWE put this on a loop for today’s heels, because this is one of the most perfect heel promos I’ve ever seen. Rock made this crowd do every single thing he wanted and made them hate one of the most popular guys on the roster at this point. Outstanding stuff here.

Jackie vs. Jazz

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. Jazz goes right after her to start and holds Jackie up for a slam. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m for Jazz in a match. They head outside with Jackie scoring with a chop to Jazz’s chest tattoo. Now it’s time for JACKIE TO SHOUT A LOT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SHE THINKS PERSONALITY IS. Thankfully Jazz takes her head off with a clothesline and gets two off a legdrop. Jazz drops her when trying a sitout powerbomb so Jackie comes back with forearms, only to get caught in a half crab into the STF for the submission. Now stay out of here Jackie.

Victoria looks nervous about giving Jazz a title shot. Jazz grabs the mic and says she’s back but Trish makes her return for the big showdown. She hammers on Jazz as Victoria comes in, only to eat a Chick Kick. Jazz and Trish get into it again and Jerry is thrilled because clothes could come off.

That right there is the mentality that has caused the 2015 Give Divas A Chance idea to be dead on arrival. That’s the idea that we heard for so many years and it’s what the Divas are thought of as a result. Yeah it’s a lot tamer today, but it’s still what they were known for all those years. Also of note here, JR says this is the same building where Jazz legitimately injured Trish’s leg. That’s not a word you hear that often in WWE.

Marketing director Stacy Keibler has Test involved with Girls Gone Wild. My goodness this is such a different time. Test gets to pick the finalists for Ms. Girls Gone Wild. We see a party in a club with Test dancing with the girls and telling them to go wild.

Test and Maven (what a pair) are watching the video in the back with Test saying it was a great appearance after all the stupid ideas Stacy had for her. Stacy comes in and doesn’t like what she sees on the tape. Chief of Staff Morely comes in and makes Stacy/Test vs. Christian/Jericho for Test and Stacy laughing at Bischoff’s beating last night.

We look back at Evolution electrocuting Goldust a few weeks back.

Goldust says he lived through the electrocution and is going to be back soon. Oh and he has Tourette’s Syndrome now but doesn’t notice. This isn’t funny and destroys whatever sympathy they had building up. But hey, Kevin Dunn is laughing right?

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Kane has Rob Van Dam in his corner, despite having some issues with him last night. Storm’s big dramatic entrance is still cool to see, especially for how basic he looks. Kane kicks him down to start but misses an elbow, allowing Storm to actually pound Kane in the back to take over. A missile dropkick gets two but Kane sits up and plants Storm with a good looking chokeslam for the pin.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is now 99% and he’s ready to go tonight!

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. Randy Orton/Batista

JR: “Scott Steiner, ready for some tag team wrestling.” Sign of the times: he would probably be publicly reprimanded for that line today. Booker and Orton get things going, with the latter looking almost unrecognizable with hair and limited (by his standards at least) tattoos. Booker drops him to start and scores with a running forearm but gets caught in the spinebuster as Steiner chases Flair around the ring. Batista’s running clothesline staggers Booker in the corner and Evolution takes over again.

Some right hands stagger Orton and the 110^th Street Slam plants Randy but a Flair distraction breaks up the hot tag. This isn’t exactly setting the world on fire. Off to Batista for a bearhug before it’s back to Orton for a chinlock. A quick ax kick drops Orton and keeps the fans as dead as they’ve been in years.

Since it worked so well before, Flair’s distraction breaks up a hot tag attempt. Scott comes in anyway with some clotheslines as the fans boo him out of the building. Naturally Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex to tick them off even worse because he’s just kind of a jerk. Flair gets put in the Recliner but Batista makes the save. Everything breaks down and Booker rolls through an Orton cross body for the pin.

Rating: D. In the span of 24 hours, Steiner has gone from a pay per view World Title match to not even getting tagged into a first hour midcard tag match. Booker was the right choice out there as the fans hated Steiner even though he was beating up the top heel stable in the company. The dude was a disaster in WWE and it was only going to get worse for him.

We look at Rock being better than any other heel in years to open the show.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy gets one of the pops of the night for a tied off Maple Leafs shirt and some very nice shorts. Test charges at Jericho to start but Christian cuts him off. A tilt-a-whirl slam plants Christian but Jericho goes after Stacy for another distraction to keep being totally evil. Test loads up a gorilla press but Jericho brings in a chair to take him down for the DQ in a hurry.

Test gets handcuffed to the ropes as the Canadians (well the other Canadians) bring Stacy inside with Jericho putting her in the Walls. Cue Jeff Hardy for the save but Christian plants him with an Unprettier. Instead Shawn Michaels runs in for the real save.

Post break Jeff is still down (how nice of Shawn and Test to check on him) when Christopher Nowitski comes out to laugh at him. After finding a microphone that works, he calls Jeff a failure, only to get caught in a reverse Twist of Fate and a Swanton. The bell rings as Jeff goes up and the pin takes about nine seconds, or not enough time for me to bother calling it a match. Jeff hammers on him post match, meaning it’s a reversed decision. They really did that for a nine second match? Dang it really is 2003.

Kane and RVD are getting ready for the battle royal with the masked man ranting about Rock. Rob thinks he’ll win though.

Rock is on the phone in his dressing room and talks some trash about Austin. He busts out the guitar for some practice and sings about how much he hates Canada. This brings in Hurricane, who wants to know whatupwithdat about Rock trashing the people. Rock has no idea who Hurricane is but thinks he might be the Hamburgular. He’s not impressed with Hurricane though because Rock can beat every superhero.

Hurricane knows one he could beat though: the Scorpion King. “Brendan Fraser beat him!” Rock: “THAT WAS A SPECIAL EFFECT!” Rock says he can fly, which Hurricane says is a good thing because tonight he’s flying over the top rope. After the great promo, this would be the start of Rock making Hurricane a bigger deal than he ever was in his entire career.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ. This is a result of last week where Lawler tried to save Jim Ross from a beating. Morely hammers him into the corner to start but Jerry scores with a running clothesline and a backdrop. That’s a bit too extreme for him though as Lawler hammers away with right hands, sending Morely out to the floor. Lawler whips him into the steps but gets reversed into the post for his efforts.

Back in and Morely hits Three Amigos (Eddie stole one of his signature spots from VAL VENIS?) for two and a spinebuster puts the King down again. The Money Shot connects but Morely doesn’t cover. Instead he tries to bring in a chair, only to have the Dudleys come in for a 3D, setting up Lawler’s fist drop for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just an angle but I’m getting tired of the announcers in the ring. Lawler wrestling doesn’t work so well outside of Memphis as he’s just a veteran who wrestles once in a while. Morely continues to be one of the more underrated guys in the ring as he looks perfectly smooth out there and never gets the recognition.

Ross and Lawler talk about Austin being here next week.

Flair gives Orton and Batista their marching orders for the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Booker T., The Rock, Randy Orton, Batista, Chris Jericho, Jamal, Rosey, Rob Van Dam, Test, Hurricane, Rodney Mack, Stevie Richards, Al Snow, Christian, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Scott Steiner, Tommy Dreamer

Winner goes to Wrestlemania to face HHH. Sweet goodness the entrance music was better back in the day. Half the people go after Rock to start as Jericho dumps Test. That guy is just such a loser that the face pushes never worked. Jericho eliminates himself to run from Test though, like any good heel should. Van Dam kicks Jamal out as there’s actually a referee in there for some reason.

JR ignores the Corporate Rumble and says there hasn’t been a battle royal on Raw since 1995. The eliminations slow down until Dreamer is eliminated like the schnook that he is. Rock eliminates Maven with a clothesline and Kane nails RVD to no reaction from the announcers. Next up is Steiner tossing Richards and things slow down again. Evolution gets rid of Rob for a pretty early elimination before Batista saves Hurricane for no adequately explained reason.

Snow is out and so is Rodney Mack as we get Rock vs. Hurricane. They trade right hands until Rock kicks him low and dumps him. Booker and Rock go through the ropes to fight on the floor as we ignore everyone else. We’re down to Booker T., Rock, Orton, Batista, Rosey, Christian, Hardy, Kane, Storm and Steiner. Rock starts walking up the ramp and goes to do some commentary. Lawler: “He has to be better than Coach!” Orton dumps Hardy but Steiner tosses Randy, only to get eliminated by Batista.

Booker gets rid of Batista a second later and we’re down to five in the ring and Rock on commentary. Rosey and Storm double team Kane but the masked guy avoids a charge and clotheslines Rosey out. Storm is out a few seconds later as Rock demands a cameraman watch him drink water. Rock goes back to the ring as Kane chokeslams Booker and kicks Christian in the face. Christian tries a sleeper on Kane but Rock dumps them both to get us down to Rock vs. Booker T. Rock does the Five Time pose but Booker pops up and throws him out in a big surprise.

Rating: C-. Just a battle royal here with Rock stealing the show and putting Booker over like a guy of his stature should be doing. It’s nice to see someone getting a new main event push, especially when Rock is clearly getting ready for a big showdown with Austin. Most of the people here didn’t mean much and that makes for a dull battle royal.

Overall Rating: C+. Can we give Rock a two hour block every Monday night to let him do whatever he wants and show everyone how to be entertaining? This was ALL Rock tonight as the rest of the show is paling in comparison. I can barely think of anything else on the show other than Booker winning, which tells me how dominant Rock really was tonight. The wrestling meant nothing here but Rock was pure gold. Find that opening promo though and take notes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2015
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler

It was nice while it lasted but this is the final part of the big Wrestlemania week. Tonight is likely going to be the last major shows for now as Smackdown will go back to being the supplemental show it’s been for years. There isn’t much in the way of fallout tonight either as Raw ended without a huge bang. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and company for a chat. Rollins loves it when a plan works out, like when he cashed in Money in the Bank this past Sunday to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Now he’s living a new life and doing things like flying across the country to be on the Today Show, then flying back across the country to face Brock Lesnar. That gave him some serious jet lag though and it wasn’t time for Lesnar to get his rematch. If Lesnar hadn’t lost his head, maybe he could have had that title shot here tonight.

Cue Randy Orton, who says he remembers everything over the last few months. He played the Authority like a fiddle (a very stupid fiddle) before he got to rip Rollins’ head off with an RKO at Wrestlemania. More importantly though, he’s owed a rematch for the WWE from last year’s Wrestlemania and doesn’t like how that belt looks around Rollins’ waist. Seth wants to know why Randy is dwelling in the past, because he is the future.

Only Rollins gets to decide when the title is defended, which makes Orton insult the Stooges, Big Show and Kane for some reason. At least Big Show won at Wrestlemania while Kane wasn’t even there (he was in the battle royal). What does the Director of Operations do anyway? The way Orton sees it, Kane has gone from the big red monster to Big Red Riding Hood. Kane makes Orton vs. Big Show and offers Orton a potential title shot if he can win.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Orton quickly gets shouldered down but avoids an elbow drop. Show tries to get to the apron but winds up getting pulled into the elevated DDT. Cue the Stooges to break up an RKO attempt for the DQ at 1:19.

Everyone comes in but Randy fights back at Rollins, only to get chokeslammed by Kane. Ryback runs out for the save and it’s RKO’s all around.

We recap Bryan vs. Ziggler from Raw and Sheamus returning after the match. Who in the world thought that hair would be called anything but stupid? I mean, they had to know that reaction was coming right?

Sheamus vs. Bryan tonight, because they can’t keep the matches they set up on Monday straight for twenty four hours.

Natalya vs. Naomi

The Bellas are on commentary. Naomi’s inset interview says she can beat Nikki and win the title but she’ll prove herself until she gets a shot. Feeling out process to start with both girls missing dropkicks but nipping up at the same time. That’s rather impressive in Natalya’s full body outfit. Natalya puts her down for the step on the back into the basement dropkick for two as the Bellas question Naomi’s heart. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Naomi is sent to the apron for a kick to Natalya’s head. She puts Natalya in a headscissors but drives her head first into the mat instead of flipping her over for the pin at 2:20.

Rollins apologizes to Kane for the RKO but Kane likes the sound of Orton challenging for the title at Extreme Rules. Seth tries to talk him out of it but stops to comment on the smell of the office. He leaves and we hear a toilet flush and Ambrose walks in. Harper vs. Ambrose later tonight because of the use of a bathroom. Seriously.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns, who talks about how hard it was to step in the ring with the Beast. He proved he was willing to take a beating and showed he could get up after a bunch of suplexes. Reigns talks about Suplex City but he survived the wave from Lesnar. He’s thinking about buying a condo in Suplex City because Lesnar wasn’t ready for him. Brock didn’t have an answer for all the Superman Punches and they changed his appearance permanently.

The fight changed both of their lives and he’d love to do it again. Saxton asks about Rollins cashing in and Reigns says it crushed him. He was on top of the mountain and Rollins took it away when Reigns was so close. Thirty more seconds and a spear would have won him the World Title. He’s beaten Rollins before so he can, he has and he will beat him again. I liked this more than any other interview I’ve heard from Reigns in a long time as it makes him much easier to relate to now that he’s been humbled a bit. Good interview.

Miz vs. R-Truth

Truth raps to the ring. I don’t remember him doing that for the last few weeks. The first ten seconds are spent with Miz taking off his sunglasses and the second ten seconds are spent on WE WANT MIZDOW chants. Truth shoves Miz off a headlock and hits the Lie Detector. The ax kick misses though and the Skull Crushing Finale is good for the pin at 1:22. Welcome back to Jobber Town Truth.

Mizdow runs out for a Skull Crushing Finale on Miz and puts on the sunglasses.

Here’s John Cena to one of the loudest positive reactions I’ve seen for him in a long time (yeah I know it’s Smackdown). Cena talks about how hard Rusev fought to stay undefeated for a year but seeing Rusev as the US Champion made him sick. It wasn’t due to being Russian, but because of all the things Rusev said about America. The interesting thing is that Rusev was the American dream: he showed up and fought to became everything he wanted to be, but then he thought America sucked. “WELL AMERICA DOESN’T SUCK!”

From now on, this US Title represents opportunity. Cena says bring him your outcasts, your future stars or anyone that the Authority says is a B+ player. He’ll fight anyone from Brock Lesnar to the Bushwhackers (hey now, they’re Hall of Famers) because every Monday night, there’s going to be an open challenge for the US Title. Now THAT is the best news that has happened for the title in a long time.

Cue Rusev and Lana, the latter of whom sounds like she’s lost a bit of her accent. She says Cena is half the man Rusev is because this is Rusev’s world. Rusev cuts her off by reaching out his hand for the microphone. With a glare at Lana, he says he didn’t lose at Wrestlemania so he’s still America’s champion.

In Rusev’s world, people like Cena have opportunities as well: surrender the title or be crushed at Extreme Rules. Cena thinks Rusev is drunk but if the Russian wants a fight, Cena isn’t going anywhere. Rusev wants to wait for Extreme Rules and calls for the flag drop but nothing happens. Instead Cena points and the American flag drops. I’m kind of stunned it took that long to do that. Cena agrees to the match at Extreme Rules. The announcers keep pushing Rusev as the Russian Tank, which isn’t a bad name for him.

We look at Sheamus attacking Bryan again. The tag match is off due to Ziggler being too banged up to compete. And they didn’t know that when they announced the tag match?

Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose

No entrance for Harper. Dean goes right after him in the corner and a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A basement clothesline gets two so Harper just hits him in the throat to take over. It turns into a slugout (shocking I know) until Luke catches a cross body and throws him over the top as we take a break. Back with Dean’s suicide dive being caught so he nails a clothesline on the floor.

The top rope standing elbow gets two but Luke kicks his head off to take over again. Dean escapes the powerbomb and low bridges Harper to the floor. Luke quickly sends him into the timekeeper’s area and loads up the table but Dean dives off the apron with a clothesline. He can’t powerbomb Luke through the table though so Luke shows him how it’s done. The bell doesn’t ring but I’m assuming it was a DQ win for Dean (or a double countout) at about 8:00.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth brawl here with both guys hitting each other really hard. Harper is great in the old Kane role from about 2004 as the midcard monster and Ambrose is fine as the guy who keeps getting beaten up and coming back for more. If nothing else it’s nice to have a match be long enough to rate.

The Prime Time Players make fun of the New Day, with Titus spraying himself with water and shouting about FEELING THE POWER. Big E. sounds like he has a possum stuck in his throat, Kofi has a weird looking chest and Woods has bad hair. They do the New Day chant and crickets can be heard. If nothing else, I love the Prime Time Players shirts based on the old Prime Time Wrestling logo.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. Sheamus has new music with a slower pace and no lyrics. After seeing the “I’m back” line for the third time tonight, the fans tell Sheamus that he looks stupid. Sheamus encourages them and says he doesn’t see any real men around here. All the fan favorites are too vertically challenged and he’s going to crush all the underdogs. So he’s Batista from last year? Barrett is on commentary.

Sheamus shoves him into the corner to start and shrugs off Bryan’s kick to the ribs. Bryan has some more success with the leg but Sheamus drops him with a clothesline. As Sheamus fires off uppercuts, Barrett says he never lost the title and is owed a rematch. That makes Rock, Orton, Bryan, Rusev and Barrett who are owed automatic rematches. It’s almost like they’re completely overusing a plot device.

Bryan scores with some kicks to send Sheamus outside but he comes back in for an Irish Curse to send Bryan to the floor as well. We come back from a break with Sheamus loading up a suplex but flipping Bryan over instead of going down with him. You might remember that as the Crash Landing from the final month of WCW. Sheamus: “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???”

Bryan tries some forearms to no avail and gets thrown hard into the corner. Some posing allows Bryan to get a breather though and he moonsaults over Sheamus before dropping him with the running clothesline. A backdrop sends Sheamus to the floor for the Flying Goat. The missile dropkick and it’s time for the YES Kicks. As usual the big one misses but Sheamus can’t hit White Noise.

Bryan sends him into the buckle and kicks the ropes to knock Sheamus back, only to get crotched on the top. The ten forearms are broken up as Bryan grabs Sheamus’ arm. Why did no one ever think of that before? Sheamus knocks him to the floor and onto the announcers’ table, busting Bryan open. Barrett hits a Bull Hammer behind the referee’s back for a countout at 15:33.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as I was expecting as Sheamus is still working the kinks out of his new character. He isn’t doing much besides big power moves, but at least he’s getting on the crowd’s nerves like he should be. Bryan was doing his usual stuff as well, but the match just never got going like you would expect it to.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it was nice while it lasted but everything is back to normal in WWE. There wasn’t much to see here other than the announcement of a B level pay per view main event and another rematch from Wrestlemania. The show wasn’t terrible, but it really falls off a cliff after the hot shows earlier in the week.

Results

Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Naomi b. Natalya – Headscissors driver

Miz b. R-Truth – Skull Crushing Finale

Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper powerbombed him through a table

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan via countout

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