Wrestler of the Day – August 20: The Miz

Today’s is AWESOME. It’s the Miz.

Miz would be the runner up in the 4th season of Tough Enough and spend a year and a half in developmental, including becoming the first Deep South Wrestling Champion. Here he is debuting on Smackdown, September 1, 2006.

The Miz vs. Tatanka

Before the match, we get the original Miz catchphrase: HOO-RAH! He spends too much time shouting though and gets sent into the corner for a beating. An armdrag puts Tatanka down and Miz stops for a quick Robot. Miz slides between Tatanka’s legs and does a war dance, earning him a chop to the chest. Tatanka cranks on the arm but Miz sends him into the post.

JBL spends the entire match ranting about how much he hates Miz but switches over to hating Tatanka when Miz beats him up. A chinlock doesn’t get Miz anywhere and Tatanka starts his usual comeback. Miz rolls away to avoid a top rope chop but a regular version sends him to the floor. Back in and Miz rakes the eyes and backslides Tatanka for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: D. There’s a reason people laughed at Tatanka coming back for this last run. It wasn’t entertaining and people didn’t remember him as being anything interesting. This didn’t work but it gave Miz that first win that set him off on the right foot. The wrestling wasn’t the point with him so the cheating win works well.

Time for a better opponent on Smackdown, February 9, 2007.

The Miz vs. Undertaker

Miz tries to hide in the corner but gets cornered and belted. Old School connects and there’s a Downward Spiral of all things for two. Miz rolls to the floor but is easily thrown back in for a big legdrop. There’s the big boot and another legdrop, setting up the chokeslam and tombstone to complete the squash.

Rating: D+. Total and complete squash here as Miz got in no offense whatsoever. That’s exactly what this should have been as Undertaker was coming off winning the Royal Rumble and Miz was Miz. Nothing to see here, though it’s interesting that today Miz is a former WWE Champion and I can’t imagine the match ending any other way.

Miz would get better over the summer after spending some time on ECW. Here he is getting a title shot at Cyber Sunday 2007.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The options are Morrison, Big Daddy V and that Miz guy. Miz and Morrison are a tag team and Punk beat Morrison for the title. V had been built up as a monster (with Matt Striker as his manager of all people) and MIZ of all people wins it. You can hear the legit shock of everyone as he was more or less thrown on there as a nothing guy here. This would be like picking Santino or something.

I can’t get over how different Miz is now. We have a basic back and forth sequence to start where Miz actually wins a bit of it. That’s different if nothing else. The announcers sound legit shocked by Miz getting the shot. Miz controls with basic stuff which is the extent of his offense at this point. The fans think Miz can’t wrestle. This makes where he is nearly three years later all the more amazing.

Punk misses a cross body as Miz rams the knee in which was a nice spot. This is more or less Miz’s coming out party, of which he’s had like 5 so far, but he’s showing off here and it’s working well. Punk just starts going off on Miz throwing kicks and knees. Springboard clothesline and down goes Miz for two. GTS is countered, Miz gets a rollup for two and then walks into the GTS to end it.

Rating: C+. Decent little match here but not a classic or anything like that Miz got a chance to showcase himself here and soon after this he and Morrison would start getting their push, which is where things really get rolling in both of their careers. Fun match though but nothing that you wouldn’t see as the main event of ECW at this point.

Miz would hook up with longtime partner John Morrison and win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending them at Judgment Day 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

Here they are against some better opponents on Raw, November 3, 2008.

D-Generation X vs. John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

Miz would spend months calling out John Cena, setting up this match at The Bash.

The Miz vs. John Cena

This is Miz’s first major singles feud as he and Morrison had just recently split so he really did start at the top. The fans are rather split here which is a nice sign. Cena is just doing very basic stuff here and it’s working quite well. Cena goes for a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. He snaps up and shakes his head. Sure why not.

Miz works on the neck which is still hurt from Batista apparently. Miz gets some control in actually which is the best thing he can do. And the Cena fights back and the usual stuff ends it. It was short and not terribly painful.

Rating: D. That’s just for the wrestling mind you as it was more or less a Raw match and nothing more. Now when this first happened, I hated it. However since then I’ve cooled down on it a good bit. This wasn’t what I wanted, but it was fine. Remember that this was Miz’s coming out party so he needed to look good. This wasn’t as bad as it came off as back then, but that could be because Miz has done very well since then. Bad match, but Miz came off pretty well as far as credible goes.

Miz would get a US Title shot in a four way at Night of Champions 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. The Miz vs. Primo vs. MVP

Swagger does a little dance on the way to the ring. More or less it was a given that someone was going to take the title from Kofi here. I think Carlito’s mustache has its own population. Miz gets a NICE pop. Primo is replacing Big Show who was supposed to be in here. And there are no tags here. That rarely makes things any better or easier to call at all. Hey, did you know Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title?

I didn’t know if it was made clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. I want to make it clear that Kofi doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title. It’s just a big mess as everyone is trying to get a spot in there where they can. Also there are a lot of guys randomly staying on the floor for long periods of time. They mess up a save spot as Swagger hits Primo for the save about 5 seconds after Miz kicked out.

The Puerto Ricans are exploding here as they don’t like each other even though no one cares at all. Swagger and MVP are having the same angle that MVP and Miz are having now. No one is in the ring at the moment. Kofi’s movement is amazing to say the least and there’s the incredibly named Boom Drop. They do a Tower of Doom spot with Miz taking the most damage.

The crowd is dead as a doornail here in case you were wondering. Miz is unceremoniously dumped to the floor. Is there a ceremonious way to do that? Everyone gets a quick rollup or pin and it gets some applause if nothing else. In a cool and actual believable spot, Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale at the same time on MVP as he hits the Playmaker on Swagger. Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on Carlito for the pin and the very surprising retain.

Rating: C-. I hate matches like these, I truly do. They’re just brawls to have one guy get a fluke pin and overcome a bunch of odds when in reality all it does is disguise the fact that there is no story or effort being put in here and it’s just a massive mess. Kofi winning was a nice surprise though.

Soon after this, Miz would start his rise up the card. He would hook up with Big Show and win more Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending at Wrestlemania XXVI.

Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

That would be Big Show and Miz as champions defending against R-Truth and John Morrison. If there’s one thing I’m glad we’ve moved passed, it’s portmanteau tag team names. Miz is also US Champion and the tag titles are still represented by all four belts. John and Miz start things off and there’s a fast dropkick for two by Morrison. Off to Truth for a guillotine legdrop for two more.

A big left hand misses for Miz and a side kick takes him down. Off to Big Show and Truth can’t do much against him, other than be caught in a fallaway slam. After Show knocks Morrison off the apron, John breaks up a Vader Bomb to put Show down. Off to Miz vs. Morrison again and a running knee takes Miz down. Starship Pain misses though and Show rams Truth into the post. John counters the Skull Crushing Finale into a rollup for two but Show makes a blind tag and knocks Morrison silly with the WMD to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long so what else do you expect here? To be fair, the challengers were thrown together and won the title shot in the same night so there wasn’t much of a reason for these teams to be fighting. The champions would lose the title in a month while the challengers would never really do anything.

Miz would get another US Title shot on Raw, June 14, 2010.

US Title: R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. Zach Ryder vs. The Miz

Everyone is in at once. Sweet. Oh and Cole now feels safe because the guys that weren’t under contract last week are still not under contract. I love idiotic comments like that. Morrison hits a sunset flip over the top into a release powerbomb onto Ryder. Nice one. And of course we go to a break. Wait…he slammed him into the concrete. This could invoke ideas of brain injury and something to do with buttons. FIRE THEM ALL NOW!

My fragile mind can’t take this! We have Miz vs. Ryder which is a weird combination if there’s ever been one. The best tag team in awhile explodes on the floor for about the 100th time. And there’s the stupid forearm smash to Ryder for two. I’m liking the little change of pace to open things up. That and opening with a title match is never a bad thing. Morrison takes forever to his Starship Pain but Miz steals the pin and the title! HOLY SCHNIKES!

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but for an opener it’s a very nice choice as not only do they give us a nice match but also we get a title change on TV which is always a good sign. It worked well for what it did, although I fail to see the point in Truth losing. Miz getting a push is always a good thing though.

Next up was Money in the Bank 2010.

Raw Money in the Bank

Orton gets the kind of home town pop but it’s still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely won’t. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. They’re going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but I’d bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesn’t.

They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasn’t planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.

This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots don’t look as impressive as they did when we hadn’t seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.

Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Miz’s fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Miz’s face in a perfectly Edge spot.

Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but can’t unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!

Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY FREAKING GOODNESS! Miz gets a mic as the announcers can’t believe what they’re seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and he’s right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.

Rating: B-. I liked this better than the first one actually as the length being significantly shorter helped it a lot. The 26 minutes for the first one was too long but cutting about 10 minutes off of this one made it much better. The winner helps it a lot too, but this was more about drama and there was less time for things to be bogged down and drag. Slightly better, but I could easily see that being reversed.

Next up is the cash-in, from Raw on November 22, 2010. I’ll include the match Orton was in beforehand to help set things up.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Nexus jumps Orton on the way to the ring and his knee is gone. He gets up and Harris kicks him in the knee again. The match hadn’t started yet as this was during Orton’s entrance and he came out first.

Back from a break and we’re on the announcers. And here’s Barrett on his own. I love that smirk. Cole gets an e-mail on his Blackberry as apparently the title match is continuing with Nexus barred from ringside. So we’re still going with this? I guess we are. Orton’s entrance starts again and there’s no Orton. Barrett shouts he forfeits. Ah there he is, limping BADLY.

There’s the bell as Orton is on one leg. This is legitimately exciting as I do not know what’s coming. Barrett goes straight for the knee and the fans scream for Orton. Orton gets the backbreaker out of nowhere but another shot to the knee sends Orton down. Wasteland hits….and Cena comes out of the crowd to break up the pin an FU Barrett. Dang it.

Nexus runs down to go after Cena and there’s three minutes left. Nexus is gone….and the match is still going! My heart is beating out of my chest here. Barrett and Orton are up and RKO hits to end Barrett.

Rating: A. Match was mainly Barrett hitting him in the knee and then the run ins and the RKO, ran maybe three or four minutes so call it an N/A or a C- or so. Why an A you ask? It stand for AWESOME!

IT’S MIZ, case in hand! HE CASHES IN but Orton is on his feet. GAME ON!

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Oh this is going to be good. BELL RINGS AND IT’S ON! Riley is with Miz. It’s 11pm so they have some time. Miz shoots for the knee but runs into forearms. Miz is all crouches over and finally gets the shot into the knee. Miz tries to wrap the leg around the post but is kicked off. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked and the elevated DDT is also. There’s a shot to the knee but Orton gets the powerslam. This is awesome stuff here as the drama is just crazy. Orton sets for the RKO but Miz counters into the Finale! MIZ WINS!!!!!!! THAT REALLY JUST HAPPENED!!!

Rating: C+. This was again really short but there was one MAJOR key: Orton was at mostly full speed for awhile. He had his finisher set to go and Miz countered it and hit his own finisher to get the title. That is a huge deal and it makes Miz look far more legit. Naturally the wrestling means jack here but the ending was great and legitimately shocking.

One of Miz’s first major challengers was his old partner John Morrison. From the first Raw of 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Morrison

No Lawler due to the beatdown last week by Miz. Morrison takes down Riley to start and we hit the floor very quickly. Morrison fights both guys off and comes off the top of the big W with a huge cross body for two. Back to the ring as that was a very quick segment up there. Missile dropkick gets two for the challenger. The running knee gets two also as Riley interferes. Morrison DESTROYS Riley and we take a break as the paramedics attend to him.
Back with Miz setting up a piece of railing up against the stage. He can’t suplex Morrison through it for awhile but Morrison tries one too many counters and winds up taking a backdrop into it for two. Back towards the ring again with Miz in control. They slug it out in the ring with Morrison taking over again.

Morrison gets Miz down and goes for Starship Pain. Miz rolls out of the way and gets the Reality Check for two. He charges but rams into the post. Starship Pain hits for two and a big kick sends Miz to the floor. Morrison sets up a table and goes for Starship Pain off the top through the table. The champion moves and the table more or less explodes in an awesome looking spot. That somehow only gets two and Miz is ticked off. The Skull Crushing Finale on the floor ends this clean at approximately 22:00.

Rating: B+. This was a good brawl and a solid back and forth match. I’m not sure if I get the point of having Morrison use his title shot on the first show of the year rather than the Rumble but there’s time to see what they’ve got planned I suppose. This had some good spots and there were a few moments of possibility that the title could change hands. Good stuff but it never hit the level they wanted it to I don’t think.

Here’s Miz against his former NXT rookie on Raw, February 14, 2011.

The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan

Riley is on commentary here. Crowd is into Bryan and we get a chant for him. Miz takes him down with a shoulder block to start. Josh makes a Grammys reference of all things. Bryan grabs the arm which gets him nowhere but a dropkick does. Miz takes Bryan down with a big boot. For some reason we keep cutting to shorts of the commentators. Off to a reverse chinlock by Miz.

Bryan escapes and grabs a rear naked choke but Miz grabs the ropes. Another back elbow by Miz gets two. Another chinlock now but the crowd is staying in this which is a good sign. Bryan gets a corner dropkick for two. They slug it out a bit and Miz is knocked to the floor. Running knee from the apron sends Miz through the barricade in front of the time keeper’s area.

Back in the ring and a top rope dropkick gets two. Good match here so far. LeBell Lock almost goes on but Miz knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away in the corner but not being able to hit a suplerplex. Instead Bryan gets a sunset bomb for a close two. We see a replay of the neckbreaker to the floor just before the break and I didn’t realize how sick it was.

Bryan unleashes the kicks and Miz counters into a rollup for two. Another gets two. Miz tries a reverse DDT into a neckbreaker but gets countered into a German. BIG kick to the head of the world champion gets two and a huge reaction from the crowd. LeBell Lock can’t get hooked so Bryan tries a victory roll. Miz drops him forward and then the Skull Crushing Finale ends it at 12:40.

Rating: B+. This was a very solid match where Miz got pushed and Bryan looked great. This was exactly what Miz needs: a dominant win where most importantly he won clean. Bryan just took the world champion to the limit and the whole thing worked very well. Good match and the second good one tonight which is a great thing to see.

From the next week on Raw.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

According to Josh this is unprecedented for some reason. Miz vs. Slater to start us off. All Miz so far as he beats on both Corre members. Cena responds with a golf clap and is tagged in to a good pop. Back off to Miz as the champions have had nothing for the most part. There’s the Skull Crushing Finale and it’s over in 3:12. What the heck? Uh…ok then. No rating due to the length as it’s 10 minutes til 11:00 so there’s a lot more to come here.

Barrett says hold it as the Corre is invoking their rematch clause right now. An E-Mail says ring the bell. The match starts post break.

Tag Titles: The Miz/John Cena vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Back with the match already in progress and Miz holding a wristlock on Gabriel. Cena comes in as does Slater. Cross body by Cena gets two and it’s back off to Miz. The WWE Champion is knocked to the floor and Corre holds Riley back so Miz can be beaten down by Gabriel. Slater gets two on Miz. Off to a chinlock by Slater which gets him nowhere. It’s weird seeing Miz as the defacto face. Neckbreaker by Slater gets two.

Gabriel in now but Miz fights him off and hits that knee to the back/neckbreaker combo. He can’t make the tag though as Slater is tagged in for the save. Miz still can’t make a tag and Gabriel throws on a headlock. The crowd is WAY into this too which is making things a lot better.

Gabriel is sent to the apron and tries to come in off the top. He jumps into a big boot though and Cena wants a tag. Ask and ye shall receive as it’s Cena vs. Slater now. Cena initiates his ending sequence and there’s the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and FU. Actually it isn’t as Miz shoves Cena over with something like the Skull Crushing Finale and Slater gets the pin to regain the titles at 12:00!

Rating: C+. Better formula match here and it worked pretty well. I had a feeling they were going to do the switch right back and I’m glad they did. This worked rather well and it sets up more of the world title feud between the two. Good stuff here and the whole segment worked rather well. Also very good that they didn’t go with the predictable ending.

This leads us to the match that Miz has talked about for the better part of ever. The main event of Wrestlemania XXVII.

Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.

Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.

Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.

A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.

Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.

Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.

Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.

Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.

Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.

Miz would lose the title to Cena the next month but the title would soon be vacated due to CM Punk. Miz would make the finals of a tournament to crown a new champion on Raw, July 25, 2011.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Miz would hook up with R-Truth as Awesome Truth, setting up this showdown at Survivor Series 2011.

Awesome Truth vs. The Rock/John Cena

Rock is going to start as Cena is off to kiss the widow of Arnold Skaaland. Miz gets to face Rock to start and the Great One grabs a quick headlock. Rock snaps off some GREAT armdrags and gets two off La Magistral (it’s an armtrap cradle) on Miz. Awesome Truth huddles on the floor and Cena looks impressed. Truth wants to fight Rock now and Rock says Just Bring It. The fans do the Cena dueling chants before Rock hits a fisherman’s suplex on Truth, but Cena is going after Miz, meaning no count.

Now Miz wants to get back in and he wants it to be with Cena. Given how Rock looked, that’s a wise choice. Cena quickly takes over with snapmares, a monkey flip (!!) and a dropkick. The fans boo him out of the building and tell him he still sucks. Off to Truth who walks into Cena’s finishing sequence but Cena tells Rock that he can’t see Cena. They stare each other down, allowing Truth to nail Cena (Rock saw it coming and didn’t do anything) to give the guys with no chance the advantage.

Truth and Miz take a few turns on Cena before Truth hooks a chinlock. Cena gets thrown to the floor by Truth which gets two back in the ring. Back to a leg choke by Truth as the fans want Rocky. Off to Miz who counters an AA into a short DDT for two. The fans seem to be into Miz as he hits his running clothesline in the corner. Truth hooks a front facelock to kill a few moments and it’s back to Miz who gets two off a clothesline.

The spinning legdrop gets two for Truth as the crowd is waiting to explode for Rock’s hot tag. Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through. His AA attempt is countered into a sitout gordbuster for two and it’s back to Miz. Miz hits a pair of boots to the face of Cena but the third is countered into the STF. Truth makes a quick save and Rock is content to stand on the apron. Cena grabs a quick AA on Truth but Miz knocks Rock off the apron to tease the crowd even further.

Truth drops Rock on the barricade to keep him down as Cena gets put in another chinlock. A double flapjack gets two on Cena and it’s back to the front facelock by Truth. Truth’s second legdrop misses There’s the real hot tag to Rock and house is cleaned in a hurry. Miz gets put in the Survivor Series Sharpshooter but Truth saves as everything breaks down. With Cena and Truth on the floor, Miz goes off on Rock but charges into a spinebuster. The People’s Elbow returns and Rock gets the pin on Miz.

Rating: B. What else were you expecting here? This is one that has indeed changed over time as we knew Rock would have a great match with Cena at Wrestlemania. The match itself was formula stuff which is perfectly fine and all that it should have been. Rock making the save was the right call and there’s almost no complaints at all here. Good match but it didn’t need to happen, which we’ll get to in a bit.

Another title shot from TLC 2011.

Raw World Title: Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

TLC match. The heels jump Punk to start but Punk fights them off. Lawler thinks there are pins in this but Cole actually saves him, saying that Lawler is confused because this match has never happened before. He wasn’t rude about it either. Punk gets double teamed and they slowly go to the floor since they don’t trust each other. Miz goes after Ricardo so Del Rio hits him with a chair.

Punk dives out onto Del Rio to take over and it’s him vs. Miz in the ring. Punk tries the bulldog onto the chair but Miz counters into a belly to back onto the unfolded chair. Miz goes for a ladder but Del Rio stops him, sending him into the ladder. Everyone goes to the floor now and Miz swings a chair but hits the post. Punk wears him out with that chair and Del Rio is down from a chair shot as well.

Punk puts Miz on the railing and hits the running knee, using a chair as a springboard. He sets the ladder up in the ring but Ricardo runs in and handcuffs Punk to the ladder. That’s a new one. Del Rio hammers him down but the shots break the cuffs and Punk is free. Miz gets what appears to be a huge ladder and beats Punk down with it. He gets a hand on the belt but Punk saves.

They go to the corner and Del Rio hits the running enziguri to knock Punk to the floor and through a table. Del Rio throws a miniladder at Miz in the aisle and does the cross armbreaker with the ladder deal to Miz. He goes back to Punk and does the same but with a chair. He goes up but both guys make the save and crotch him on the top rope. Ricardo goes up and Punk knocks him off the top through a table on the floor.

Miz manages to cuff Punk to the ropes and the champ panics. Miz of course taunts him instead of going up and Punk fires off a kick to the head. Del Rio has a ladder up and Punk tries to kick the ring apart. Miz has a bigger ladder as Punk continues his straightedge tool work. Eventually he gets free and Punk destroys them all. Miz makes the save and I really thought that was it. GTS to Miz and that’s enough for Punk to retain at 18:25.

Rating: B. This was about what you would expect from a triple threat TLC match. It wasn’t anything classic but it was entertaining enough and that’s the whole point of it. The handcuffs didn’t really play into things that well but they were trying something new out there and I’ll give them points for that. Not a classic or anything but I’ve certainly seen worse.

Miz would drop way down the card soon after this, though he would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Raw 1000.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Bret’s boredom of introducing Miz is great. Christian immediately sends him to the floor and hits a dive to the outside but he may have hurt his knee. We take a break and come back with Miz holding a weak leg lock on Christian. During the break the champ (Christian) had his knees sent into the steps to further the injury. A top rope cross body gets two for Christian and he goes up again, hitting the jumping back elbow for no cover. Unprettier is broken up and the sunset flip out of the corner gets two.

Miz kicks him in the face for a near fall of his own and things slow down again. Christian comes back with a tornado DDT for two but his leg is still messed up. Spear is blocked and Miz gets a short DDT for a very close two. The corner clothesline misses for Miz but the Killswitch is countered again. Finale and Killswitch are countered again. Christian escapes a belly to back but hurts his leg again, allowing the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz the title at 7:46.

Rating: C+. That’s a nice surprise for tonight as they needed to do something to give us a little history here. Also Miz gets to win something for the first time since losing the world title over a year ago. It’s even better than it was clean, which is rare to see. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Then he would defend it at Night of Champions 2012.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sin Cara vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match, Miz complains about having to be in this and says that he’s going to file a complaint against Booker T for making him do this. Miz is champion coming in if you’re new at this. Rey is sent to the floor to start but Cara sends Cody to the floor as well before armdragging Miz outside too. Cody and Rey come back in as Cara drops to the mat for no apparent reason.

It’s time for the masked guys to fight. I know this has been a match people have wanted to see and I’m not really sure why. Rey takes Cara down for two but Cody makes the save. The unmasked guys go at it for awhile and everything breaks down. Rey goes up but takes too long so Cara goes after him. The Disaster Kick hits Cara but Miz breaks up a superplex so he can hook a Tower of Doom which gets two on Rey. Miz sends Cody to the floor as the fans sound like they’re chanting for Cody.

The short DDT gets two on Rey but Cara comes back with some high flying stuff to send Miz to the floor, followed by a big dive. Rey hits a headscissors on Cody on the floor followed by a seated senton off the apron. Cara gets two on the champ off a slingshot senton but he gets sent into the corner for the corner clothesline from Miz. Rey comes in with a kind of Vader Bomb for two (why has that move become so popular lately?) but Cody jumps him from behind for two of his own.

Cara puts Cody in 619 position but gets sent into the post by Miz. Miz goes after Rey but winds up taking the 619 instead. The top rope splash gets two for Rey on Miz but Cody saves. Cody tries to steal the pin on Miz but Cara saves. Cody goes for Cara’s mask but Rey saves. Rey gets sent to the floor with his sliding bump and Cara hits Cody in the head with an enziguri from the apron.

Cara tries to put another mask on Cody but Miz runs in and hits a backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for two on Cara. Miz tries to powerbomb Cara but Cara puts the mask on him instead. Cody tries Cross Rhodes on Cara but Miz bumps into them (he can’t see because of the mask) and hits the Finale on Cody for the pin to retain at 12:42.

Rating: B-. This was a great choice for an opener as they hit a great streak of near falls and saves in there. The ending was creative but I’m really not sure what it added. Miz pinning Cody doesn’t mean anything significant and he would have hit the Finale on him in that situation if he could see or not. Good opener here which got the crowd fired up.

Miz would turn face later in the year and help out Alberto Del Rio in his very mini feud with 3MB. From TLC 2012.

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler

You know what? Why not? He’s in a Brooklyn Nets jersey as apparently he’s abandoned the Yankees (Bronx, not Brooklyn) shirt. Ignore those RYDER chants of course. Del Rio and Slater start things off with Alberto in control. Off to Brawler who beats up Mahal a bit before getting punched down by Heath. Brawler avoids a middle rope knee drop as we hear about 3MB having their tattoos messed up. Not hot tag brings in Miz who gets two on Jinder off a DDT. Del Rio drives Drew into the remnants of the announce table. The Finale takes down Mahal and the Brawler gets the win off a Boston Crab at 3:37.

Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?

Miz would get another Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania XXIX.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.

The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.

Miz wouldn’t do much in 2013 other than turn heel again. From Raw on December 9, 2013.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

This is another match we don’t need to see again. Kofi gets in a running kick to start but runs into a knee in the corner. A big boot puts Miz down and a few knees to the head get two each. Trouble in Paradise misses and Miz bails to the floor as a result. Miz tries to walk out but Kofi chases him down and blasts Miz in the back of the head. Back in and a springboard shot to the back of Miz’s head gets two. Miz counters a rollup and kicks him into the buckle and rolls Kofi up with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:38. Pretty messy match.

Miz would go off to make some movies and come back as a movie star character. From Battleground 2014.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Big E., Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, R-Truth, Ryback, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Titus O’Neal, Heath Slater, Diego, Sin Cara, Xavier Woods, Great Khali, Kofi Kingston, Bo Dallas, Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Sheamus, The Miz

No Rob Van Dam for some reason. Bad News Barrett comes out and says the new champion will be like an old couple retiring here in Florida. Initially it will be great, but it’s delaying the inevitable. Everyone goes after Khali to start but he shoves them off and cleans house before throwing out Woods and Ryder. A Brogue Kick stuns Khali and everyone puts him out. Dallas eliminates Sin Cara and Ryback does the same to Truth.

Axel is tossed as they’re going through this match quickly. Damien Sandow (a beach bum here) gets thrown out by Diego to no reaction but Ryback throws out the Matador a second later. Ryback slams Dallas down and all of a sudden only Ryback and Sheamus are standing. A quick slugout ends with a Brogue Kick for the elimination. Miz can’t throw Sheamus out and gets a Zig Zag for trying. He slides out to the floor under the ropes and everyone goes back to brawling.

Titus throws Sheamus around like he’s nothing but Bo eliminates him for a big celebration. Kofi and Cesaro go at it with Kofi missing Trouble in Paradise and getting backdropped over. He hangs on like he’s trying a sunset bomb but pulls himself back in. Cesaro grabs Kofi’s dreadlocks but gets dropkicked down. Both guys are still in. Del Rio and Ziggler go at it with Alberto putting on the armbreaker over the ropes. Del Rio tries the low superkick on the apron and gets his neck snapped across the top rope for an elimination.

We’re down to Kofi, Dallas, Slater, Cesaro, Big E., Sheamus, Ziggler and Miz. Cesaro suplexes Big E. out and throws Kofi out but Big E. catches him on his shoulders. Cesaro suplexes Kofi off Big E.’s shoulders and back into the ring (why?) before poking him in the eye and suplexing him to the floor. Slater dumps Cesaro in a huge upset but gets thrown to the apron by Sheamus. A Brogue Kick puts him out and a slingshot shoulder knocks Bo silly. The ten forearms to the chest have Dallas in trouble and Ziggler dropkicks him out.

We’re down to Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Miz is somewhere on the floor. They slug it out and no one can hit a big move. Sheamus loads up a powerbomb and they botch a counter with a very awkward landing. Thankfully they seem to be fine and Sheamus catapults Dolph over the top but he hangs on. Dolph pulls Sheamus out but he hangs on as well. Sheamus loads up the slingshot shoulder but gets superkicked out, allowing Miz to come in and throw out Ziggler to win at 14:20.

Rating: D+. Erg. Why go with something interesting when you can go with someone who has held the title multiple times before? I’m glad they didn’t unify the titles but I would have loved to see someone like Dallas get this for the promos alone. At the end of the day though, this is a death knell for Miz’s push, as is the custom in WWE.

I might get laughed at for this but I like the Miz. He came from nothing and rose up to be one of the top stars in the company. While he may not have had staying power, he main evented Wrestlemania against John Cena and left as the champion. Think about that for a minute. Do you know who else can say that? Randy Orton, and that was in a triple threat. End of list. The guy is talented and could show that off if they would give him a character that lasted. And pants. The trunks look just doesn’t work for him.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 14: Rico

Today we’re going with someone that I’ve been a fan of for years: Rico.

After just a handful of matches on the independent circuit, Rico was signed to WWF and went to OVW. We’ll start at Christmas Chaos 2001, held in January of that year due to the original show being postponed due to snow. Keep in mind that this is different from the Rico you’re familiar with. Here he’s an athletic freak that can wrestle with anyone and totally serious.

Flash/Trailer Park Trash vs. Rico Constantino/Mr. Black

This is hardcore. Flash Flanagan is a guy that was supposed to be one of the breakout stars of OVW but a bad injury kept him off the WWF roster just after he was going to be called up. Rico made it of course but is freshly heel here. Black is a big security guard and Trailer Park Trash is a guy I have no idea about. Constantino and Black are part of Bolin Services, the top heel stable in OVW. Oh and Black is Hardcore Champion.

Apparently Rico isn’t in Bolin Services yet but if Bolin can get him the OVW Title he’ll join the team. Cornette: “Bolin is the kind of a guy that if he tells you the sun is coming up tomorrow you better go buy a flashlight. He’s the second most dishonest person I know after that promoter in Philadelphia.” There is some real bad blood there which is 100% legit.

Flash and Trash (just a big guy in jeans and a shirt) bring the weapons. Rico and Black bust out garbage can lids which means they take them to the head. Flash accidentally hurt Rico about a year ago to start their feud. This is Trash’s return after about a four month absence. I think you have to be in the ring to get a fall but I’m not sure.

It’s really hard to tell who is who here. Rico has long hair here so you can’t really tell which guy he is. Trash pulls out a bowling ball and it collides with Black’s balls. Flash sets up a table on the floor and Rico goes onto it. Springboard spinning legdrop half kills Rico but Flash is down too. Trash doesn’t look like much of a technician to put it mildly.

Trash gets a door from somewhere (Perry Saturn’s factory maybe?) and lays it between the ring and the railing like a bridge. He wants to suplex Black through it but of course gets shoved through it himself. Flash and Rico are back up and Flash misses a big moonsault. We clip it a bit to see Trash getting hanged by Black. Rico has a broom and everyone is down for the most part.

Black gets a suplex to Flash and we bring in frying pans and tires. Rico puts the tire around Trash’s neck and superkicks the tire. That was different. We throw in a toilet seat and a mailbox to really make this out there. More clipping as Flash takes a Bossman Slam from Black.

The beating has been going on for a good while now. I guess morale hasn’t improved enough yet. Black goes for a top rope splash but Trash makes the stop and slams him down. We hit ten minutes and Flash hits what looks like a middle rope neckbreaker/Blockbuster on Black onto a chair to end this, again very abruptly.

Rating: C-. This was a long match, running over ten minutes. I’m not sure if a hardcore tag match was the best choice to do that with but apparently Trash is a big fan favorite here so they’re giving them what they want in that sense. Pretty dull match and like I said another abrupt ending which came out of nowhere.

Here’s a match from late March/early April 2001 with Rico as OVW Champion.

Rico Constantino vs. Flash Flanagan

Rico is OVW Champion and Flash is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. A clothesline puts Rico on the floor and Flash rams his head into Rico’s manager Kenny Bolin. Back in and Rico kicks him in the face to take over but Flash superkicks Rico down. A spinning springboard legdrop gets two as Cornette is freaking out on commentary. Rico comes back with a side slam and more kicks in the corner. They clothesline each other down and Bolin gets on the apron for a distraction. Rico gets Bolin’s briefcase but Flash kicks it into his face for the big upset.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t have time to be anything special but it wasn’t supposed to be. The win kept Flash in an upcoming triple threat (where he won the title) so it actually had some storyline stuff behind it. Rico was a solid heel at this point and Bolin was still the top heel manager of the promotion.

We’re going to look at a series of dark matches now, starting on April 15, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Randy Orton

Orton doesn’t mean anything at this point either. They trade shots in the corner to start and Orton beals him across the ring. A backflip dropkick gets two on Rico but he avoids a charge in the corner for two of his own. More stomping ensues in the corner and Rico suplexes him down for another near fall. Rico stomps even more and hits a nice spinning kick to the face. He takes too long going up but knocks Orton off the top. Orton avoids a moonsault and hammers away before nailing a wheelbarrow suplex for the pin.

Rating: D. Orton looked far more polished here than Rico, which isn’t what I was expecting at this point. Rico didn’t look horrible but he didn’t have anything left to do after the first minute or two of the match. Orton carried most of the match here and did a better job at playing to the crowd on top of that. Nothing to see here but Orton was clearly going to be a big star.

Another dark match from December 4, 2001.

Rico Constantino vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock drives him into the corner to start and puts Rico on the turnbuckle because he can. Rico avoids a charge and kicks away but Brock misses him up into a gorilla press. An elbow to the jaw drops Rico again and Brock busts out a dropkick just because he can. Rico nails a spinwheel kick but Brock shrugs it off and plants him with a powerslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Oh come on you knew Lesnar wasn’t going to lose here. Rico looked better out there, though the match was significantly shorter. Brock continues to be awesome though and there’s no way you can top a genetic freak like him. The match looked far tighter than the Orton match though and that’s a good sign.

One more dark match from January 22, 2002.

AJ Styles vs. Rico Constantino

AJ spins out of a wristlock to start before backflipping out of a German suplex. A knee to the back puts Rico in control and a kick to the head gets two. We hit the chinlock on Styles before a spinwheel kick gets two more on AJ. Rico misses a great looking moonsault and walks into a brainbuster for two. A spinning cross body off the top mostly hits Rico’s legs but AJ backdrops him to the floor. AJ follows him out with a shooting star dive to really wake the crowd up. Back in and AJ gets knocked throat first onto the top rope, setting up a kind of northern lights suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. This was actually really entertaining stuff and was enough to get AJ a developmental deal with the company. He didn’t want to move to Louisville though so it was off to TNA instead. Good match though and that springboard shooting star looked awesome. Rico was a great talent but the stylist gimmick killed him.

Rico would debut as Billy and Chuck’s stylist because that’s what you do with an atheltic guy like him. Here’s one of his first matches from Judgment Day 2002.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidentally drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess. As usual this would be the idea of the wacky tag team partners who of course are able to win the titles with relative ease.

Here’s a slightly better opponent. From Raw on September 16, 2002.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

Flair quickly takes him down with ease and drops a knee to the head. A few headlock takeovers keep Rico in trouble but he comes back with some fast kicks. Rico kicks him in the head for a Flair Flop but Ric stops him with an elbow to the jaw. Flair doesn’t let Rico bring a chair in and takes him over with a vertical suplex for two. Ric goes over and kicks the chair out of the corner, allowing Rico to kick him in the face for the (mostly) clean pin. Flair’s hand seemed to be touching the ropes but it wasn’t mentioned.

Rating: C-. That’s quite the rub for Rico as the pin was as clean as it was going to be for something like this. Flair was destroying him for the most part here with basic stuff which is something I enjoy seeing. Yeah a lot of the time it’s better to see something flashy or intricate, but it’s nice to see basic leverage moves every now and then.

Here’s another fairly big name opponent, from Raw on October 14, 2002.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

Rico throws a shirt at him in the corner and hammers away but Jeff scores with a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them on the floor. Jeff runs the barricade for another clothesline to drop Rico and they head back inside. Back in and Rico fires off kicks in the corner before putting on a bodyscissors. Jeff comes right back with a Whisper in the Wind for two, followed by the Twist and Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jeff didn’t do much besides high spots. To be fair that’s the case with almost any match like this as you have to get your stuff in and then do the finish. What else can you do in a match that only lasts a few minutes? Jeff would be gone a few months later.

Rico would be in a six man tag at Survivor Series 2002.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Time for another handicap match! From Raw on January 6, 2003.

3 Minute Warning/Rico/Batista vs. Dudley Boys

Flair is with Batista too so it’s basically 5-2. Jamal gets backdropped to the floor as Batista hangs out on the floor. I wonder if D-Von and Batista’s past will be mentioned. There’s a fast 3D to Rico but the stupid Dudleys don’t cover him, allowing Batista to come in and clean house. Bubba gets sent to the floor and Chief Morely gets in some shots of his own. Everyone not named Batista beats on Bubba on the floor and there’s a spinebuster to D-Von.

Bischoff and Morely come into the ring and demand that the referee counts D-Von, but Batista pulls him up at two. Bubba gets back in but walks into a suplex from Rosey. Now Flair gets in and puts Bubba in the Figure Four as Jamal hits a top rope splash for good measure. D-Von takes a Samoan Drop and the Batista Bomb finally ends this.

Rating: D+. This was an angle which is fine, but it doesn’t really exactly make for an interesting segment. Batista was just midcard muscle with Flair as a manager at this point, but Evolution was coming soon. The Bischoff regime got old in a hurry and here he came off as just another corrupt boss. Not much here but it was a good beating.

One more singles match from Heat on February 9, 2003.

Bryan Danielson vs. Rico

Danielson quickly takes him down and puts on a kind of dragon sleeper. Rico blocks an O’Connor Roll but gets caught by a dropkick. Some kicks drop Bryan for two and Rico puts on a weak Gory Stretch. Bryan flips out for two but gets kicked in the face for the same. After an arm hold goes nowhere, Danielson enziguris him down but can’t follow up. Some European uppercuts put Rico down and a snap suplex gets two for Danielson. Back up and Bryan hits the ropes but charges into the spinning kick to the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. I love seeing guys like Bryan when he means nothing. He got to showcase some talents here though and it was clear that he was going to be a big deal somewhere down the road. Much to my surprise this wasn’t a glorified squash with Danielson actually controlling about half of the match.

Back to the handicaps on Raw, February 17, 2003.

Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

There’s nothing to say here. The three dominate Spike for about three and a half minutes and Rico pins Spike after a top rope splash from Jamal. There was nothing to talk about in between.

Rico did have some singles matches, including this one at Insurrextion 2003.

Goldust vs. Rico

And on Pay Per View too! Hebner is in there, you know the chant. Rico keeps hiding from Goldust as we have to stall in this match of all things. Rico really was underrated in the ring as his gimmick always gets looked down on which isn’t fair to him. He definitely wasn’t that bad in the ring and was clearly always working hard out there which is all I can ask for.

Naturally this is a rather boring match but it’s not entirely fair to blame that on the wrestlers here. These two had no business being out there as long as they’re being given so they can only do so much in there. We talk about Sean Connery and James Bond to fill in time. Picture perfect moonsault by Rico misses. That was freaking pretty looking. Bulldog gets two for Goldust.

Shattered Dreams is blocked and Goldust goes insane, hitting all kinds of stuff on Rico. Ok so mainly nothing more than punches which apparently are the results of his mental issue. I never liked that angle. Not due to what it was about but because it never really made sense. And there’s a powerslam out of nowhere (Ross’ description) to end it. Oh Goldust won.

Rating: D+. That’s higher than this deserves, but the problem here is that there was FAR too much time given to this match. This got eleven minutes and to their credit it never really got boring. Like I said, Rico was a guy that would always work in the ring which is something you have to give him points for. They were trying out there but this just had no business going this long.

From Raw, September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Rico would hook up with Charlie Haas to form another oddball tag team. Since this is the Ruthless Aggression Era, they would win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles soon after forming. Here’s a title defense from Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

We’ll wrap it up with one more six person tag from No Mercy 2004.

Dudley Boys/Dawn Marie vs. Rico/Charlie Hass/Miss Jackie

I miss Dawn. She was gorgeous. Jackie is no slouch either. Bubba and Haas start us off but D-Von jumps him to give them the early advantage. D-Von beats on Charlie but Dawn tags herself in to hit on Charlie. Jackie comes in and there goes Dawn’s top. Bubba pulls Jackie’s hair to give Dawn the advantage then comes in to kiss her. Bubba makes the mistake of closing his eyes though and gets a kiss from Rico instead.

Out to the floor and Bubba is about to be sick. It’s such a shame that Rico got this gimmick as he was AWESOME in OVW, regularly outworking guys like Orton and Cena. Bubba walks out and Rico gets a bunch of (fruit) rollups on D-Von. Bubba comes back to crotch Rico and then officially comes in to give Rico a heterosexual beating. Rico grabs a DDT out of nowhere and double tags bring in the other guys.

Haas cleans house and causes some heel miscommunication. A German takes down Bubba but Dawn distracts him, allowing D-Von to get in some offense. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a cross body for two as everything breaks down. The Dudleys load up What’s Up but Rico is WAY too excited for it, rubbing his crotch and begging D-Von to jump. D-Von won’t do it so we get a catfight instead. Charlie takes down D-Von and Rico finishes him with a moonsault.

Rating: C+. It was a comedy tag match, but every time I watch Rico I love him more and more. This guy was doing everything he could to get this dead end gimmick over and it worked. Rico cracked me up which was the whole point of the character. It’s a shame he wasn’t allowed to just be himself and awesome. Fun match.

Rico is a guy where the gimmick crippled him. There’s nowhere to go but comedy with something like he had and it’s a shame given how awesome he is. Yeah I like him more than is probably healthy, but the guy had a ton of talent and then got wasted for the kind of gimmick that he got stuck with. Still though, he was entertaining and that’s all he needed to be.

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Smackdown – August 22, 2014: Fastest Show In The West

Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2014
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

We’re already on the way to Night of Champions and the main story is going to be Cena vs. Lesnar III. Lesnar destroyed Cena on Sunday so now the question is how can Cena survive. Other than that we might be in for an update on Ambrose’s condition after his head was crushed against a conveniently placed pile of cinder blocks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Summerslam. I believe this is the same one we saw on Monday.

Tom Phillips from NXT has joined the announcers’ booth.

Here’s Randy Orton to get things going. He says that just winning a battle doesn’t mean you win the war. One match doesn’t define either himself or Roman Reigns. He’s been a legend killer, an apex predator and the Viper, but he’s never been a loser. This just made him that much more focused, which leads to things like this happening.

We see Orton RKOing Reigns through the announcers’ table last month. Reigns will get what’s coming to him at some point but first up, Orton has a match with Rob Van Dam. RVD is nothing but collateral damage. He’ll be an example of what happens to anyone that crosses his path. Orton demands the fans’ respect and poses to cap off a quick promo.

Jack Swagger vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins shakes Orton’s hand on the way to the ring. Before the match we get a long package on Ambrose vs. Rollins from Monday night. This was actually set up on Main Event with Rollins saying Swagger has been dropping the ball. Swagger quickly takes Rollins down with a nice amateur move but Seth bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and Seth puts a bodyscissors on the bad ribs but Jack fights up with the powers of America. Rollins goes to the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly suplex.

Jack gets kicked in the ribs again and we take a break. Back with Swagger hitting a wheelbarrow suplex and getting all fired up. The Vader Bomb connects but he re-injures the bad ribs. Swagger backdrops Rollins to the apron but gets kicked in the head for his efforts. Rollins dives into a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Both guys fall to the floor and the Patriot Lock goes on again. Seth rolls away though and Swagger accidentally posts himself. Swagger rolls back in but Rollins nails a Curb Stomp to send him back outside for the countout at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the most important thing here is the addition of a new midcard guy for the main eventers to beat. Yeah Swagger has been in this spot for awhile but the new character makes him feel fresh instead of the same guy that has lost over and over again.

Post match Bo Dallas comes out to tell Swagger the usual. Dallas is willing to pick up the pieces and become the new American sweetheart.

Video on the Bellas splitting and the slap from Raw.

Miz is on the phone ordering a latte when Kane comes up. Miz: “Unless this is about my sequel for the Intercontinental Title, talk to my agent.” Kane doesn’t like the sequel line so he makes Miz vs. Reigns again for tonight. Miz rubs his face in a funny bit.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Rusev pounds him down in the corner but Cara actually gets in some shots to the bad ankle. A missile dropkick puts Rusev down but he comes back with the jumping superkick. Accolade and we’re done at 1:53.

Lana talks trash post match but Mark Henry comes out to chase the evil foreigners off.

RVD is in the back with Renee Young and says Orton needs to chill out. Orton pops up from behind and nails Van Dam. He tells Renee to tell Van Dam that he’ll be waiting at the ring.

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Van Dam charges to the ring but calms down long enough for the opening bell. Orton takes over very quickly and stomps Rob down in the corner. The springboard kick to the jaw drops Orton and he gets clotheslined out to the floor. A big flip dive puts Orton down again but Van Dam misses the spinning apron kick. Randy throws him into various objects, including the steps over and over. The match is thrown out at 2:57.

Randy plants him with an Elevated DDT on the concrete and an RKO onto a chair, likely writing Van Dam off TV. That’s DDT is the same move that originally put Van Dam out back in 2007.

Reigns says he knows what Orton and the Authority are capable of. He saw what Rollins did to Ambrose and promises revenge. Orton talked about methodically decimating him, right until Reigns speared him in half. If that’s what Orton wants, it’s fine with Reigns.

Natalya vs. Paige

Non-title. They trade smacks to the face to start with Natalya taking over via a butterfly suplex to send Paige outside. A baseball slide puts her down again but Paige nails her in the face. Natalya gets posted and Paige does the slow crawl back in the ring. We hit a bodyscissors on the Canadian but here’s AJ for the traditional distraction. She takes the Divas Title and skips around the ring, allowing Natalya to grab a rollup for two. AJ leaves with the title but lays it down so Paige can take it back. She comes back in and walks into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:55, even though she was inches from the ropes.

Rating: D+. Well at least it wasn’t the usual way of distracting the champion. I’m hoping Natalya at least gets a PPV title match of her own out of this instead of another lame triple threat. Paige vs. AJ is a feud that needs to have some more creative developments, but that’s the same for every long feud anymore.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Wyatt Family

Stardust jumps over his brother to start with Harper. Luke drives him into the corner and hammers away before getting caught by the drop down uppercut. Harper rakes the eyes across the ropes and it’s off to Rowan who lets Stardust make a blind tag to Goldie. Rowan slugs him down in the corner and we take a break.

Back with Harper throwing Goldust across the ring before Rowan comes in for a hard slam. A legdrop gets two and it’s back to the evil corner for Goldust. There’s the Gator Roll from Harper but Goldust gets to the middle rope for a hurricanrana. Harper slugs him right back down and nails a sitout powerbomb for two. Stardust comes in without a tag and the distraction lets Goldust roll up Harper at 6:04 shown of 9:34.

Rating: C-. What the heck has happened to the Wyatts? They went from the hottest team on the roster to this in less than two months. So I guess the Dusts are now the new “it” team, even though Henry/Big Show were last week. Odds are it’s a fourway title match coming up because that’s the go to move for most of the titles.

The Wyatts beat up the brothers post match, including Harper throwing an announcer’s chair at Stardust.

We get a clip from Main Event where HHH announces Lesnar vs. Cena III at Night of Champions.

Here’s the title presentation and Heyman promo from Raw to eat up a lot of time.

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Orton comes out to watch just after the bell. Reigns sends Miz into the corner to start and hits a Samoan drop. Miz gets in a running knee but Roman easily escapes the Skull Crushing Finale. A spear ends Miz at 2:06. Squash.

Reigns tells Orton to bring it on and the fight is on. They head outside with Orton being sent into the steps and the German announcers’ table. Randy comes back with some chair shots and takes the chair inside. The RKO through the chair is countered though and Reigns nails him with the chair. A Superman Punch sends Orton to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best here but the action and storytelling stuff was solid enough. This was a VERY quick two hours and that’s more than you can say about the three hour Raw. They didn’t let anything stay out there long enough to drag and it was a good fallout show from Summerslam. More than anything else though, we saw the Bellas ONCE. That’s such a nice change of pace.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger via countout
Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest
Natalya b. Paige – Sharpshooter
Stardust/Goldust b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper
Roman Reigns b. The Miz – Spear

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 18, 2014

WWE is coming off the pretty awesome Summerslam pay per view and the question now is where do we go from here. Night of Champions is in five weeks and in theory we’re coming up on Brock vs. Cena III. It’s hard to say how Cena is going to do, but there’s a chance that Cena is going to get the title back already and I can see why they would go that route. Let’s get to it.

In what almost has to be a rib, Stephanie (again looking gorgeous in jeans and a tight t-shirt) started the show to talk about Brie Bella. This led to Stephanie bringing out Nikki Bella to explain why she turned on her sister. It’s exactly what you would expect: she was angry at Brie for making everything about herself and abandoning her. Brie came out and did the big heartfelt plea to her sister and got slapped in the face for her efforts. In case you didn’t get this, don’t worry as this would air FOUR TIMES on Monday.

Here’s the thing and I’ve said it several times before: the majority of the fans do not care about the Bellas fighting over whatever their issue is. The match is going to be a disaster and the promos are going to be even worse, but the worst part is that this opened the show. With everything else that happened at Summerslam, this is what opened Monday Night Raw. Is it any shock that the ratings were down this week?

Big Show/Mark Henry beat the Wyatt Family in a pretty good power match. Erick Rowan slammed Big Show in a very impressive power display. Other than that this was the usual back and forth match that you would expect with Henry World’s Strongest Slamming Rowan for the pin. In theory this sets up the giants vs. the Usos and eventually Henry vs. Big Show because that’s how tag team wrestling works.

Ric Flair had a cameo with Dolph Ziggler. As long as that’s the extent of their association, I’m fine.

Seth Rollins was bragging about winning the lumberjack match but Dean Ambrose poured a bucket of ice water over his head. Ambrose: “It’s for charity!” A brawl ensued but didn’t go anywhere. After the break, the Authority made Rollins vs. Ambrose again for tonight with the fans picking the stipulations.

AJ cost Paige a win over Natalya (now wearing shorts) because that’s the only thing the writers know how to do.

The big segment of the show was HHH bringing out Lesnar and Heyman to present Brock with the new WWE World Title belt. Heyman’s promo was the usual awesome performance where he talked about Cena being a tough guy and THE guy for the last ten years, only to have him lose to Brock on Sunday. Lesnar conquered Brock Lesnar just like he should have done. Nothing much to say here but it was as good as you would expect it to be.

The Miz beat Dolph Ziggler via countout in a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. This seems to set up another match between them, but it’s nothing I want to see again.

Cesaro beat Jack Swagger in a short but intense match. The idea here is that Swagger is disappointing himself after his loss on Sunday. Bo Dallas came out post match and told Swagger to Bo-Lieve. I can dig Swagger vs. Dallas.

Jericho is still talking about Wyatt. A third match with a gimmick wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.

RVD/Reigns/Sheamus beat Ryback/Axel/Orton. Again it seems like we’re setting up Orton vs. Reigns II with a gimmick and that’s not the worst idea in the world. Reigns didn’t get the pin for some reason, which you would think would be the right idea on a match like this. The only interesting thing in the match was Ryback getting a big hometown pop. I’d still love to see him get a nice push as a face again.

Orton threatened Flair after a break. Please, no more Flair.

Bray Wyatt declared himself the face of salvation.

Goldust/Stardust beat the Usos in a non-title match. Methinks we’re getting a multi-team match in the future.

Lana and Rusev talked and Mark Henry made the save. It’s not a good sign that they have Henry in two stories at the same time.

The main event was Ambrose vs. Rollins II in a falls count anywhere match. This was a great brawl with both guys beating the tar out of each other and a bunch of near falls. There was an insane spot with Rollins powerbombing Ambrose onto a pile of chairs for two. Kane interfered because that’s what he does anymore and cost Ambrose the match. It ended with Rollins hitting a Curb Stomp onto a conveniently placed stack of cinder blocks. The story after the show ended has Ambrose running away from medics and disappearing. It’s a way to let him make a movie because that’s more important than a hot feud on WWE TV.

Raw was a good but not great show as they set up some stuff for the next rematch PPV with gimmicks attached. Lesnar and Heyman were as awesome as ever and Heyman can more than carry the act in Lesnar’s absence. The return of Cena next week should be interesting and we get to hear some great promos along the way. This wasn’t the best followup show in the world but the fall looks so much better than last years.

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Reviewing the Review: Summerslam 2014

This one might not be as long as there’s almost always less to talk about with a show that I really liked. I’ve seen the Raw after Summerslam before writing this but there’s only so much that you can do about something like that. The show didn’t quite blow me away but I loved it when I watched live. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match saw RVD beat Cesaro. The match was fine, but why in the world do you put Van Dam over if he’s going to be leaving soon anyway? Wouldn’t you want to have someone go over Van Dam to get every bit of value out of him before he leaves? Either way, the match was fine and Cesaro got to show off his freakish strength all over again.

Hogan hyped the Network to open the show. Nothing wrong with that as this was about getting people watching on regular PPV to switch over.

Ziggler took the IC Title from Miz. I’m fine with this as Ziggler’s pops are hard to ignore. No he doesn’t belong in the main event scene (especially with Lesnar on top now) but giving him the Intercontinental Title is fine. The fact that I was right about Ziggler starting to lose as soon as he got the title makes me shake my head though.

Brie did her serious promo about Stephanie. For the most part it was nothing, but this did throw in the line of Stephanie paying off the physical therapist. In theory that writes off the character and story, which seems to be the right idea as it went over horribly.

Paige beat AJ Lee with the Rampaige DDT to get the Divas Title back. I really liked this, as the whole division is such a joke other than these two. This was a physical, back and forth match with both chicks beating the tar out of each other until Paige pinned her with a really cool finisher. I could see these two fighting for years and I’d be fine with that. With the rumor of Charlotte being called up, there’s actually a glimmer of hope for the division.

Rusev beat Jack Swagger in a pretty good power match. They did a good job of false finishes with the possiblity of Rusev tapping, but at the end of the day putting Rusev over is the right call. They didn’t have Swagger tap out to save face in a smart move. Good stuff here, especially Lana’s legs. Colter got kicked in the head, likely writing him off TV, at least for now.

Ambrose and Rollins had a really good lumberjack brawl with everyone beating each other up as lumberjacks are supposed to do. They did the right thing here of letting them go crazy which is what Ambrose vs. Rollins should have been the entire time. The problem here though was Kane. Whenever he comes out he just drags things to a halt with his corporate nonsense. There comes a point where you need to drop some of the storyline stuff and just let there be carnage. People are waiting for these two to tear each other’s heads off but then you have Corporate Kane coming out to keep things settled. Drop it already, or at least get someone fresh in the role. I love Kane, but we’ve covered this. A lot.

Bray Wyatt went over Chris Jericho in the match that should have happened at Battleground. Both guys got in some solid shots and Bray hit Sister Abigail into the barricade and another in the ring for the pin. Bray looked dominant but it was far from a squash. The fact that Bray is still as over as he is gives me hope for him. I’m really not sure where they’re going with him but he needs to win another feud before moving up the ladder again.

Now we get to the second most talked about match on the card with Brie vs. Stephanie. There are two ways to think about this match. First of all, Stephanie (who can still rock the heck out of a tight leather outfit) is pretty clearly as good of a Diva as almost any ever. She worked a solid pace, her moved looked good, she worked the crowd, and didn’t look bad at any point of the match. Name one Diva who regularly does that. Like ever. The Divas division has been a joke for years but she was absolutely awesome here.

That being said, this brings us to the booking. Aside from people just not caring about the story (seriously WWE, no one cares. They just don’t) and Brie being so bad she needs a telescope to look up and see horrible, this story called for Brie to get her revenge over Stephanie. She’s been humiliated and beaten up, and then at the end of the day we see her get pinned when her sister turns on her.

Speaking of Nikki, this is another story where people just do not care. Why am I supposed to be interested in seeing the Bellas fight? The only thing I can think of is WWE wants to bring in the crossover audience from Total Divas, but it’s not worth getting on the nerves of your core audience. This story closed two Raws heading up to Summerslam (and opened the show after it) and the fans’ reactions have been nothing but bad. I agree that Stephanie has been awesome in this story, but she needed to do the job at the end. Have Nikki ruin Brie’s moment or something, but let Brie have the moment to give the fans something to smile at.

Video on some guy that won a contest and called himself Mama’s Boy. Next.

Roman Reigns beat Randy Orton in probably the biggest win of his career. This was what it needed to be booking wise, but I really didn’t like the match for the most part. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t make me drool over Reigns. The key thing here though was Orton hit the RKO and Reigns kicked out at two, hit both his finishers and got a clean pin.

There might be a rematch with Orton and then it’s HHH’s turn to do the job before Reigns wins the Rumble and fights Lesnar (in theory) for the title at Wrestlemania. It’s a simple story but if they do it right, Reigns can look great. He’s the kind of guy where the in ring stuff doesn’t need to blow you away. He needs to be a guy people get behind and buy as unstoppable, which is what seems to be happening.

This brings me to the main event, which is the most talked about match since Brock broke the Streak. This match was a squash with Brock basically no selling the AA and STF. Brock destroyed Cena for about fifteen minutes and then hit an F5 for the pin and the title. This is a risky move, but they left in enough backdoors to give someone else a chance to take Brock down. I mentioned this earlier but I might as well do it again.

The key thing here was Cena’s strategy. He charged right at Brock to start and got destroyed as a result. Look at the Punk vs. Lesnar match from last year’s show. Punk survived the opening onslaught and then used whatever shots he could to stay alive. Brock finally made a mistake and Punk was able to make a match of it. Cena on the other hand played right into Brock’s hands and lost at Brock’s own game. If you build off that, there’s a very interesting story to be told. It worked with Vader and Sting, it can work with Brock and anyone else.

Overall Summerslam was about as awesome as it could have been with nothing being bad and the absolutely right call at the end of the show. It wasn’t as good as last year’s show but that’s not a fair comparison. Everything worked and I had a great time watching it. It sets up a lot of stuff for the future and that’s something WWE really needs to do right now. Great show.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 31: Jonathan Coachman

Back to commentary with Jonathan Coachman. Yes he did wrestle.

Coach would start his in ring career in late 2003, including a match on Raw, September 1, 2003.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman

We’re in Louisiana so Coach is wearing a University of Texas jersey. Lawler scores with an early right hand to stop a dancing Coach. Back up and Coach cranks on a headlock but is easily slammed down. Cue Coach’s Heat commentary partner Al Snow who says Coach is in over his head. Back in and Lawler puts on an armbar, so Snow offers to throw in the towel for him. Snow gets Jerry to let go but Coach gets in Snow’s face. Jerry goes outside and of course Snow is evil, sending Lawler into the post and giving Coach the easy pin. I won’t bother rating this due to the time outside, but it was nothing special and only setting stuff up.

Here’s Coach’s PPV debut at Unforgiven 2003. It’s the fallout from the previous match and for the right to call Monday Night Raw.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Time for JR to try his luck in a Country Whipping match on Raw, September 29, 2003.

Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman

Before the match, Chris Jericho comes out and joins Al Snow on commentary. Coach gets in an argument with a fan, allowing Ross to get in the first whip. Back in and Coach whips Ross for awhile as this just kind of keeps going. JR finally nails a low blow and whips Coach’s back. There goes the shirt so Jim can whip bare skin. Eric Bischoff tries to come in to no avail, allowing Ross to Stun Coach for the pin.

Rating: D. Even for a match between commentators, there was no way this was going to be good. That being said, at least the Stunner wasn’t terrible. I’m still not sure who thought a battle over who would call Raw was an interesting story, but 2003 never was the most well thought out year for wrestling.

We’ll jump ahead to January 26, 2004 on Raw for a handicap match.

Goldberg vs. Jonathan Coachman/Mark Henry

No DQ as per someone decision. Henry starts of course and shoves Goldberg down with relative ease. Back up and Goldberg fakes him out by offering to hit the ropes before just nailing Henry with a clothesline. Mark pops to his feet and crushes Goldberg in the corner with a splash. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Goldberg easily breaks the hold and powerslams Henry down. Now it’s Coach’s turn for the two move combination and the easy pin.

Rating: D. Were you really expecting anything else here? You don’t need a story for something like this as it was all dominance by Goldberg with Henry just there as a hurdle for Goldberg to get over before he can rip into Coach. I’d assume Henry vs. Goldberg was coming in the next few weeks.

Coach would actually get a pay per view match at Backlash 2004.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Tajiri

You read that right. Tajiri misted Coach a few weeks ago, then Coach cost Tajiri a match against Christian. Coach armdrags him down to start and Tajiri isn’t sure what to make of that. Coach keeps trying to tie him up but Tajiri keeps firing away kicks. They go to the floor and Tajiri kicks the post to change the flow of the match. Back in and Coach cannonballs down onto the leg and Tajiri is in trouble. Coach hooks a leg bar but Tajiri reverses into a kind of half crab which is pretty quickly broken up.

The leg bar goes on again so Tajiri kicks him in the back. Another to the face and the hold is finally broken up. Coach goes up and gets crotched, allowing a baseball slide dropkick to the back of the head to connect. Handspring elbow sets up another dropkick and it’s rapid fire strike time. Coach grabs a cheating rollup for two. Like an idiot, Coach charges at Tajiri in the corner and is put in the Tarantula for his efforts. Garrison Cade comes out and distracts Tajiri for no apparent reason and Coach rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t half bad. There’s no reason for it to be on PPV, but the match wasn’t all that bad. Coach kept it simple by going after the legs which is the best thing to do against a martial artist so I can’t fault him there. The ending was stupid but this was such a big surprise that it wasn’t a big deal.

And another one at Bad Blood 2004.

Coach vs. Eugene

I think I smell a comedy match. Eugene’s song is so completely catchy that I’m going to have it in my head all night now. We get a massive Eugene chant. See what I mean? The guy was OVER. JR pushes home the idea that we all grew up wrestling fans and how cool it would be to get to wrestle someday on PPV. How can you not love that?

The fact that he really was a talented technical wrestler (in OVW he more or less wrestled the exact same style Benoit did and made it work perfectly well. The guy can go in the ring.) made it even better because it was actually believable that he was just imitating what he had seen over the years. Yes, I was a huge Eugene mark and still am for his old stuff.

In a funny spot Coach tries to shake his hand and gets brought to his knees by Eugene’s strength. In a unique spot, Eugene goes for a monkey flip and then locks his legs around his arms to make himself into a little ball. Coach rolls him around for a bit and then as he’s yelling at Eugene, Eugene pops his arm up, grabs Coach and flips him over with his legs for a rollup. It sounds stupid but that was awesome. I’m laughing my head off at this.

The fans start another Eugene chant to answer why he’s on this show. There’s nothing wrong with a comedy character. We get a criss cross and Eugene hits the floor and gets a teddy bear from the hot chick I mentioned earlier. Coach apparently doesn’t realize Eugene is gone for about 30 seconds.

Apparently he didn’t notice the overly large man at ringside in incredibly small electric blue tights hugging a stuffed bear, but then again I’m no coach. Anyone fighting Eugene had such an easy time getting heat. THEY’RE HITTING A DISABLED GUY. And a random hot chick in a bikini brings out a plate of cookies.

Coach, who called the girl out, slams Eugene into the cookies. Coach slams Eugene into the turnbuckle, and it’s time. Eugene Hulks Up, but here’s Garrison (Lance) Cade for the interference. He rips the bear from earlier in half and Coach jumps the distracted Eugene. It doesn’t work though and a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends this. Cade gets an awful Stunner after it. Regal comes out to congratulate him and Coach takes a somewhat better but still terrible Stunner.

Rating: B+. If anyone agrees here I’ll be shocked. I know it’s stupid but I love this guy. When he stays in comedy territory, it’s just a fun character and it works every time for me. Like I said, few are going to agree and I don’t care. Then they had to screw everything up by making him serious because WWE.

One more from Vengeance 2004.

Tajiri/Rhyno vs. Jonathan Coachman/Garrison Cade

Uh…yeah. Seriously how do I even talk about this? This is like an opener on Heat, but a bad one. This was announced on Heat. Seriously, what was the thought osn this? To my great shock and awe, this has a backstory. For no apparent reason Eugene was made GM of Raw for a night and had a game of musical chairs for a title match. Tajiri was eliminated first and Coach got the last seat. This fell out of that.

Tajiri is actually popular. Coach wisely runs from Rhyno. I’ve never seen the appeal of Cade. The guy just isn’t that good and that’s all there is to it. Oh look: Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade on Pay Per View. Coach and Cade beat up Tajiri. Again, is there a reason this is happening? I mean was there NOTHING else to try?

After even more boring as all goodness stuff, we get green mist from Tajiri to Cade. Apparently the referee seeing green stuff on Cade’s formerly blonde hair is perfectly fine. This is making my head hurt and I’m not even fifteen minutes into it. Cade gets gored, Coach gets kicked and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash and it was just boring as heck. Tajiri was always good for some stuff, but Cade and Coach? Really? That’s the best you can come up with? This was one of the dumbest openers of all time and it’s also one of the least interesting. I mean just think about it: Tajiri and Rhyno vs. Garrison Cade and Jonathan Coachman. Think about that for a minute.

Back to Raw on August 30, 2004.

Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance/Coach

Rob Conway (who, as of this writing on December 17, 2013, is the NWA World Champion of all people) pounds on Rhyno to start before it’s off to Sylvan Grenier for some neck cranking. The French Canadian tag champions hold Rhyno for a slip from Coach for two as this is already boring. Back to Grenier for a chinlock until Rhyno fights up and makes his comeback with clotheslines. Tajiri keeps getting kicked off the apron to keep him out as Rhyno Gores Coach down. Rhyno walks into Au Revoir (spinning suplex/side slam combo) for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my goodness how bad was the tag division at this point? I’m assuming Tajiri was injured or something here as he never came in at all. The match was really dull stuff with La Resistance being one of the least interesting multiple time champions ever and having no opponents of note at all. Terribly uninteresting match.

Another Raw, this time on November 15, 2004.

Randy Orton vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach immediately heads outside but Orton catches him in the crowd as the music is still playing. They head inside and the beating is already on with Coach getting crotched on the top rope. A bit right hand sets up the RKO for the easy pin.

One last pay per view, with Coach competing against a replacement at Taboo Tuesday 2005.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that fat. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Off to the Middle East for a match at Tribute to the Troops 2005.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Jonathan Coachman

Coach actually elbows him down and stomps away before choking with a shirt. Flair pops up and takes Coach over with a snapmare. He drops the knee and kicks Coach low before putting on the Figure Four for the fast pin.

DX was feuding with Vince McMahon in 2006 so here’s Coach as a sacrifice.

Shawn Michaels vs. Jonathan Coachman

Shawn puts on a HHH skull cap to start before slowly punching him in the corner. There go Coach’s pants and Shawn follows up with an atomic drop. Shawn drops the top rope elbow but the Spirit Squad comes in…not for the DQ. Instead there’s Sweet Chin Music to Coach but Umaga comes in for the real DQ. Not enough to rate but it was an angle instead of a match.

What would a Wrestler of the Day be without a Cena match? From September 24, 2007 on Raw.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Tables match. Coach is in a suit after trying to get Cena to relinquish the WWE Title. Vince said not so fast and made a tables match. Cena punches him down and loads up an AA but changes his mind. Instead he puts Coach in the STF and then the AA through the table ends this.

One more time, from November 2, 2007 on Smackdown.

Mick Foley vs. Jonathan Coachman

There’s also a special referee in the form of Mr. McMahon. Hornswoggle sneaks into the ring for some reason…oh I get it. Mr. Hornswoggle McMahon is guest referee. The referee beats up Coach in the corner before Foley adds in some shots of his own. Socko knocks Coach out and the Tadpole Splash gives Foley the pin. Comedy stuff.

Coach falls into the category of “big mouth who is fun to beat up.” There’s nothing to the matches of course but there wasn’t supposed to be. He’s a comedy character and little more than that, so why try doing anything other than just having him get beaten up time after time?

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2013 (2014 Redo): What A Difference A Year Makes

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This show was almost universally the Show of the Year for 2013 and I’ve been really interested in seeing how it holds up. There’s a double main event with Cena vs. Bryan for the World Title and Lesnar vs. Punk in Punk’s attempt to get revenge on Lesnar’s manager Paul Heyman for screwing him over back in July. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is making a rare defense here after Rob won a battle royal or something. Feeling out process to start with Dean saying bring it on. They trade hammerlocks until Rob nails a running shoulder and a kick to the jaw. Rob hammers away in the corner but runs into a boot to give Dean control. A neckbreaker gives Ambrose a two count and the fans are split on who they like best.

Dean hits the dropkick against the ropes and puts on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long though and Rob comes back with a quick moonsault, only to walk into a clothesline for two. The bulldog driver is broken up by some more kicks to the face but Rollins and Reigns come out to break up the Five Star. This brings out Mark Henry and Big Show to even things up as we take a break.

Back with Dean dropping an elbow for two and putting on a cross face chicken wing of all things. Rob is sent outside and the four seconds have a standoff. Dean goes out to get Rob and winds up getting caught by the spinning kick to the back for two. A spinning legdrop gets the same for Van Dam but he walks into a spinebuster. Dean misses a middle rope elbow but a Shield distraction lets him get two off a rollup. Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Reigns spears Van Dam for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match here but the ending didn’t work. What was the point of having Big Show and Henry out there if they’re just going to have Reigns come in with no resistance for a DQ? It really is amazing how far Van Dam has fallen in the last year as I wouldn’t expect him to have this kind of a match today if his life depended on it.

Miz, the host of the show, welcomes us to the evening and runs down the big matches. He would be kind of perfect for this role today too. Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off….and that’s it.

The opening video focuses o how awesome Los Angeles is as well as the double main events. The overblown voiceover really works.

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match but you win by pin or submission. It’s also Bray’s in ring debut. Kane hammers away in the corner to start and we get the old school idea of the flames going up whenever anyone hits the mat. Harper and Rowan keep getting closer to the ring but have to back away from the flames. Bray comes back with headbutts but can’t get Kane up for a suplex.

Kane gets sent into the corner for a running splash followed by the cross body to put him down. A bunch of right hands have Kane in more trouble but he comes back with a running clothesline in the corner. There’s the side slam to send the flames up even more, preventing the Family from sending Bray a kendo stick. Rowan tries a fire extinguisher but the flames don’t go out. Kane hits a pair of chokeslams and calls for a tombstone, only to have Rowan and Harper cover the flames and come to beat Kane down. The yet to be named Sister Abigail gives Bray the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was really stupid. Bray looks like a joke in his first match (though he would have FAR better performances in the future) and the flames are more of an annoyance than the focus of the match. The Family coming in didn’t work and makes the whole thing look ridiculous.

Post match Bray sits in his chair while the Family crushes Kane’s head with the steps. They carry Kane away which never went anywhere.

The expert panel (Booker T., Shawn Michaels and Vickie Guerrero) chat about what we just saw and make some main event predictions.

Earlier tonight Paul Heyman compared Punk vs. Lesnar to David vs. Goliath. He sees the battles ending a bit differently. Tonight’s match is now no DQ.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow screwed over his friend Cody to become Mr. Money in the Bank and Rhodes is ticked off. On the way to the ring, Damien talks about famous teams and says there has always been a leader and a sidekick. Cody has recently shaved off his mustache and Cole tells us we can find out why he has done so on Friday on Youtube. Seriously.

Sandow charges at him to start and hammers away in the corner but Cody comes back with a backdrop to take over. The release gordbuster gets two for Cody but Damien hammers away on him in the corner and cranks on the arms. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and we hit an old school Edgecator (kneeling Sharpshooter) to Cody.

That goes nowhere either as Rhodes fights up and hits a MuscleBuster of all things for two. A springboard missile dropkick sets up the Disaster Kick but Sandow comes back with a swinging neckbreaker. Cody nails a second attempt at the Disaster Kick for two but Cody misses a charge into the post. Again it doesn’t seem to matter as Cross Rhodes gets the pin on Sandow at 6:40.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Smackdown and really doesn’t mean anything. The idea was for Cody to eventually take the briefcase from Sandow but they dropped the whole idea and hooked Cody up with Goldust, which wound up being better for everyone involved. It didn’t last long but at least it was an idea. Sandow has fallen through the floor in a year and Cody is a completely different character.

Video on Christian’s career.

World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Another match where both guys have completely changed course in a year. Christian is challenging after winning a triple threat a few weeks back. We’re ready to go after some big match intros and some gawking at Lillian in a gray dress. They lock up and head into the corner to start with the champion grabbing a headlock. Del Rio gets him to chase him around the ring but gets his throat snapped across the top rope.

Alberto breaks up a top rope hurricanrana and ties Christian in the Tree of Woe for some stomping. Back to the floor with Christian being sent into the barricade to start the arm work. A release flapjack and a kick to the head allows Del Rio to wrap the arm around the ropes. Christian sends him back outside and hits a big plancha to take the champion down, followed by a missile dropkick back inside.

The Canadian hammers away in the corner, ducks the running enziguri, and gets two off a top rope cross body. The Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber for two as Alberto is starting to get frustrated. There’s a jumping back elbow to the jaw from Christian but Del Rio counters a sunset flip out of the corner with a right hand.

Instead a top rope hurricanrana gets two for Christian and Del Rio is in trouble. It’s not enough trouble for him to get speared though as Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for a sweet counter. The low superkick gets two more for Alberto. He tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Christian finally hits the spear but injures his bad shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker to retain Del Rio’s title at 12:28.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys going back and forth until the logical and thought out ending. I love it when you have an old injury coming back from earlier in the match to tie into the ending, even though it’s not something you see often enough. It’s also nice to see a high level guy tapping out to a heel submission, which you see even less often.

Del Rio says he’s the Latino representative.

WWE loves the National Guard.

Video on Axxess from earlier today. Maria Menunos had a match and talks to Miz about how awesome that was. Fandango and Summer Rae interrupt with some more dancing, triggering a dance from Maria and Miz.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

This is the Total Divas match. You can add Natalya to the list of people who have fallen through the floor in a year. She has the Funkadactyls with her while Brie has Nikki and Eva Marie. I’m not sure who has the better backup here. Feeling out process to start with both girls doing their best choreographed spots. Brie slaps her in the face but has to head to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter attempt.

Natalya is sent to the floor and caught with a baseball slide to the back as a JBL chant starts up. Now it’s a Michael Cole chant, followed by the required Jerry version. Brie drops a leg and cranks on a chinlock as the fans want tables. Natalya fights up and puts on a quick Sharpshooter but Brie sends her into the corner. The other Divas get into it on the floor and we hit another chinlock from Brie. Back up and a sunset flip is countered into a Sharpshooter to make Brie tap at 4:19.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. It doesn’t hold up, the fans don’t care, and the whole thing is a waste of time. The girls didn’t even look all that great here as most of their outfits looked like they belonged in the 1950s. The fact that Total Divas didn’t get the Divas Title off of AJ continues to astound me.

Ryback harassed a catering guy earlier in the day.

We recap Lesnar vs. Punk. The idea is simple: both guys are Paul Heyman Guys, but then Punk started listening to the fans and asked Heyman to stop coming out for his matches. Heyman turned on him and cost Punk Money in the Bank, so Punk swore revenge. Brock Lesnar returned and laid out Punk, with Heyman eventually revealing that he asked Brock to come back and destroy Punk, despite swearing he didn’t.

Punk is out for revenge but has to go through Lesnar to get there. The title for the match was perfect: The Best vs. The Beast. I love the story behind this: yeah it’s about revenge, but it won’t be settled in a debate or by lawyers or something stupid like that. Instead, it’s going to be scheduled in a professional wrestling match, like every feud should be.

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

No DQ. Punk charges right at him but gets driven into the corner. Forearms to Brock’s head have no effect and he drives shoulders into the ribs. Punk tries some knees to the ribs but Brock literally tosses him across the ring. Brock stomps him down in the corner but Punk comes back with a hard knee to the jaw and a second one to send him out to the floor. A big suicide dive has the Beast down and Heyman is starting to freak out.

Punk gets some steps but Brock just rams them back into his face to take over again. He throws Punk onto his should but gets posted instead, allowing Punk to dive off the apron to drop Brock again. A clothesline off the announcers’ table nails Lesnar but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman, allowing Brock to blindside him. Brock picks him up again and LAUNCHES him over the announcers’ table. Then he throws him over the other table and stomps on the top of the table on top of Punk.

Back in and Punk goes after the legs but Brock just levels him with a clothesline. We hit the bearhug until Punk scores with forearms, only to take a hard knee to the ribs. It’s almost total dominace by Brock so far. Back to the bearhug but Punk elbows out of it again. Some kicks to the chest have Brock in trouble but he counters a high cross body into a fall away slam.

We hit the chinlock but Punk bites his ear to escape. More kicks have Brock in trouble and a top rope knee sends him sprawling across the ring. There’s a pair of running knees in the corner but Brock counters the third one into the F5. Punk escapes again and nails a high kick followed by the Macho Elbow (more like a splash) for a VERY close two. The fans are totally into this.

The GTS is countered into another F5 attempt but Punk escapes and nails another high kick. He tries the GTS again but gets caught in the Kimura. Somehow he counters that into a cross armbreaker but Brock rolls over into a choke. Punk counters THAT into a triangle choke, only to have Brock lift him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t break the hold either and it’s back to the triangle, but Brock lifts him into another powerbomb, this time with a running start. AMAZING sequence there and the fans give it the THIS IS AWESOME chant that it deserves.

Brock busts out Three Amigos of all things for two. Punk is half dead in the ring so Brock heads outside and gets a chair. He takes too long though and Punk dives onto the chair, driving it into Lesnar in a huge crash. Now it’s Punk wearing out Brock with the chair as they head back inside. Brock takes the chair away, only to get hit low before he can destroy Punk. Punk nails the Cactus Jack chair drop from the top for two as Heyman is pacing back and forth.

Punk just starts beating Brock with the chair but Heyman gets on the apron for a distraction. Lesnar lifts him for the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman for the block. He slips off Lesnar’s back and hits the GTS for a white hot near fall with Heyman making the save. After a quick chase, Punk charges into the F5 but counters AGAIN into a DDT for another two.

There’s the Anaconda Vice and Lesnar is in trouble, drawing Heyman in with the chair….but Punk gets up and steps on it. There’s a right hand for Heyman and a Vice of his own, but Punk is wide open for a chair shot from Lesnar. A bunch more chair shots sets up an F5 on the chair to give Brock the pin on Punk’s dead body at 29:07.
Rating: A+. I said this was Match of the Year last year and a second viewing affirms that view. This was AMAZING with some great David vs. Goliath stuff, a white hot counter sequence, and then two guys just beating the tar out of each other for ten minutes to end the match. Heyman making the save made sense, but it makes Punk look like the superhero that everyone thought he was. Totally awesome match here and Lesnar looks like the monster that he’s supposed to.

Oh and one more thing: SCREW YOU HHH FOR WASTING BROCK FOR A YEAR FOR YOUR STUPID EGO. Seriously, a year of this lost for that “trilogy” nonsense with HHH winning the big match on the biggest stage before letting Brock get his win back in a totally forgotten cage match. Lucky us.

Punk gets the well deserved standing ovation.

A fan gets splashed by Mark Henry for Summerslam tickets. He gets to sit in front of the announcers’ table for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Two feuds combined into one. The guys start with Ziggler nailing a fast dropkick for two on Big E. Langston comes right back with a belly to belly suplex and a spinning Warrior Splash for two of his own before we hit the abdominal stretch. Dolph quickly escapes and scores with another dropkick before it’s off to the girls. Kaitlyn throws her around but gets caught by a big kick to the face.

A back elbow gets two for Lee and she hooks a sleeper. AJ shouts a lot but gets caught with a shoulder block. Back to the guys and there are the ten elbow drops from Dolph. The Fameasser misses and Big E. hooks a tilt-a-while backbreaker for two. AJ takes out Kaitlyn with a Shining Wizard but Big E. hits the post. Kaitlyn spears AJ in half (I miss her selling the heck out of that move) as Big E. gets back up and runs over Dolph. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and the Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 5:46.

Rating: D+. I feel sorry for this match as it was a glorified TV match that had to go after a thirty minute masterpiece. These four feuded for a long time and it was getting boring by this time. AJ would hold the Divas Title for a ridiculous eight more months and Kaitlyn doesn’t even have a job anymore. Again, it’s amazing how much a year has changed.

Miz gets cut off by Fandango and Summer again, finally causing Miz to knock him out.

The expert panel makes their World Title match picks.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. The idea here is simple: Bryan had been on a roll and Cena was allowed to pick his opponent for Summerslam. He summed it up in four words: “I select Daniel Bryan.” This was the start of Bryan being a B+ player as authority (not The Authority) figures started saying Bryan was just too small to be World Champion. HHH and Vince tried to turn him corporate but Bryan couldn’t bring himself to do it because it wasn’t who he was. The only person that seems to be supporting him is HHH, who is guest referee tonight.

At the same time they actually made it somewhat personal between Cena and Bryan as Daniel called Cena out for being a parody of a wrestler. Cena got very serious and said that he was a wrestler even if he wore bright t-shirts. He chose Bryan because he’s the best competition in the company right now and has earned the spot. Cena also has fluid the size of a baseball in his elbow at the moment and is going to be taking time off after the match.

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH is guest referee. Daniel wisely goes after the bad arm to start but gets taken down with a headlock. Back up and Cena isn’t sure what to make of Bryan and his technical abilities. John easily wins a test of strength but Bryan bridges off the mat. Cena jumps down on him but can’t break the bridge in a nice display of strength by the bearded one. A YES Lock attempt sends Cena out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Cena uses the bad arm for a headlock before they hit the mat for the old Flair bridge up into a backslide from Bryan for two. It’s Bryan in control now but Cena blocks the surfboard with pure power. Daniel is sent to the apron and knocked into the announcers’ table with a hard shoulder. Cena is wrestling as the heel here by default as the power guy.

Bryan pops up and whips Cena into the steps but Cena sends him in as well. Fans to Cena: “YOU STILL SUCK!” Back in and Cena hammers away to get the upper hand but lets Bryan get up. A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. Bryan is quickly back up with right hands as Jerry reminds us that HHH is guest referee. He hasn’t meant anything yet.

Bryan backflips over Cena out of the corner and nails the running clothesline. Here come the YES Kicks but the big one misses, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. The Shuffle gets two and Bryan nails the big kick to the head for the same. Bryan finally starts going after the arm by snapping it over his own shoulder and firing off kicks to the elbow. Cena tries a quick STF but Bryan mule kicks his way out. Now it’s Bryan putting Cena in the STF but he can’t crank on it as well.

Cena powers up but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Cena powers out of the third suplex and tries the AA, only to be reversed into the YES Lock. Bryan can’t quite get it on and Cena gets his head out of the grip to escape. That’s fine with Daniel who slaps on the guillotine choke. Again I had to hear Cole say HHH’s name to remember that he was the referee. Cena powers up again and drives Bryan into the buckle a few times before finally grabbing a rope for the break.

An AA connects out of nowhere for two and Cena is getting frustrated. He goes up top but Bryan breaks up the top rope Fameasser. A running dropkick has Cena reeling and Bryan superplexes him down, only to hook his feet on the ropes to stay up top. That’s kind of brilliant actually. The Swan Dive connects for two and Cena rolls outside. The FLYING GOAT is countered by a forearm to the face and the top rope Fameasser gets John another two count.

Cena goes up again but gets caught, only to try to slam Daniel down. Instead we get a TERRIFYING semi-botch as Cena almost piledrives him off the top. Thankfully Bryan’s neck is in one piece (for now) as Cena puts him in the STF. He pulls back too far though and Bryan slips out to apply the YES Lock. Cena is right next to the ropes for the break though and both guys are exhausted.

It’s Bryan up first with the running dropkicks but he tries one too many, allowing Cena to take his head off with a running clothesline. They slug it out again until both guys try flying shoulders and knock each other out again. Back up and they slap it out as the fans are even more into it now. Cena catches him charging and plants Bryan with a spinebuster. Allegedly Bryan countered with a DDT but it didn’t come off that well on camera.

It’s Daniel to his feet first and going up top, only to have Cena counter his high cross body into an AA. Daniel counters that into the small package for two, followed by a BIG kick to the head. He doesn’t cover, but instead debuts the running knee to the chest for the 100% clean pin over Cena (I believe the first since Rock at Wrestlemania) for the pin and the title at 31:07.

Rating: A+. Yep this worked too. This is a totally different style of main event match and it more than holds up a year later. There was a solid story in there of Bryan being as technical as he could be and Cena just muscling his way through it, only to have Bryan knee his head off for the pin. Excellent match, but somehow it’s the second best of the night and of the year.

Post match Cena is upset but hands Bryan the title and raises his hand with no violence.

Bryan celebrates for about three minutes….and here’s Mr. Money in the Bank Randy Orton. Bryan is ready for him, but not ready for HHH to spin him around for a Pedigree.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton is champion in 8 seconds.

The new heel forces pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This won Show of the Year and it’s easy to see why. The two main events are more than enough to make this awesome but you also have good stuff like Del Rio vs. Christian. Nothing was truly horrible here (the Divas match was just over four minutes so how much can it really hurt?) and two instant classics make this more than great and one of the best shows WWE ever put on.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original:
Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+
Redo: D

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C
Redo: D+

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+
Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F
Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Dolph Ziggler

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+
Redo: A+

Overall Rating:

Original: A-
Redo: A

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 11, 2014

It was the go home show for Summerslam as well as a special birthday celebration for our hero Hulk Hogan. The interesting thing is that Brock and Cena are both in the house, meaning we’re almost guaranteed a showdown later on in the night. The build to Summerslam has taken forever but the last part can often be the best. Let’s get to it.

Heyman and Lesnar opened things up and talked about how Brock conquered the Streak and will conquer John Cena at Summerslam. People said he couldn’t beat the Undertaker and now they’re saying the same about Cena. Heyman acknowledged the loss at Extreme Rules 2012 and blamed it on Brock’s illness. That’s not the worst excuse but I don’t think it needed to be brought up. It’s not a bad thing but it didn’t need to happen either. The best part about this though was Heyman’s rhyming, which print doesn’t do justice. Find it on Youtube as it’s worth watching for how serious he plays it. Solid opening promo here but did you expect anything else?

Corporate Kane gave Roman Reigns a handicap match against Ryback/Axel with Reigns winning via DQ. I get the idea of it being a hit from the Authority, but since Reigns fought them off and laid both guys out after the match, what was the point of the DQ?

Orton taunted Kane, and apparently grew about four inches in the process. Seriously he was at Kane’s forehead.

Seth Rollins beat RVD in a nice match that you expect from Van Dam anymore. Post match Ambrose popped out of one of Hogan’s presents and chased off Rollins in a cool moment.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show: rehashing the Clair Lynch story from TNA. Short version: Bryan is sleeping with his physical therapist and Stephanie taunted Brie about it. Brie slapped the therapist and beat up Stephanie, earning her an arrest later in the show. Here’s the thing: Bryan isn’t advertised for Summerslam, despite this being the way to bring him into the story.

There’s a very simple way to get Bryan involved in this and it’s called have him stand in the corner and clap. Let me repeat that in case it went over people’s heads. Daniel Bryan can best be utilized in this story by having him stand in Brie Bella’s corner and clap. For the life of me I do not understand why this REALLY basic match and angle have been turned into some huge story involving infidelity and Brie trying to do something historic (still waiting to find out what that is). Have Bryan stand in the corner while Stephanie beats up Brie until Bella puts her in the YES Lock and makes her tap out. It should take twelve minutes counting entrances and celebration. Oh and it should NEVER CLOSE RAW OR BRING UP CLAIR LYNCH EVER!

Jack Swagger beat Cesaro in a good match. How in the world did Jack Swagger wind up being the Shawn Michaels of the team? The Russians came out and did nothing.

Wyatt and Jericho had a sitdown meeting where they said about what you would expect them to say. I’m not sure why this was recorded in a room and not done in the ring.

Paige cost AJ a match against Eva Marie and read a bad poem about beating AJ after the match. What I don’t understand was why Eva was fine to roll AJ up but then was down like she had gotten beaten up. I know she sucks in the ring, but DEAR GOODNESS does she look good in those outfits.

Cena gave a long response to Lesnar with a focus on Lesnar not deserving the title because Brock is in this just for the money and thinks he deserves to be champion because he’s Brock Lesnar. As usual, Cena nails the hard sell like few others can. Fortunately for us, Heyman is one of the few that can hang with and even best Cena at this stuff. The match is going to be amazing too.

Miz got Dolph Ziggler counted out against Heath Slater. In other words, Paige got AJ pinned by Eva Marie. Same story twice in an hour.

Orton beat Sheamus in a good match. There weren’t any big storyline developments here. Just two high level guys having a thirteen minute match and making it entertaining. You can’t ask for much more than that.

Hogan’s birthday celebration was the big ending with a bunch of legends coming out. Lesnar came back but Cena saved the legends and posed with Hogan to end the show. This was fine, though I wouldn’t have minded it going longer.

Overall Raw was the usual good go home show for a big pay per view and I want to see the show more than I did before. Hogan’s stuff was exactly what it should have been and likely would have been bigger had it not been the Monday before Summerslam. It was a good night though and the best Raw in a few weeks. That’s good going into Summerslam, which has potential to be a very awesome event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2011: The End Of The Summer

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWSOTGK

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Summerslam Count-Up – 2009: This Time It’s Orton vs. Cena

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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