Smackdown – February 14, 2014: Kofi Kingston As A Bald Muscular European

Smackdown
Date: February 14, 2014
Location: Citizens Bank Business Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Valentines Day and we’re getting a nice gift in the form of Cesaro (now minus the Antonio) vs. Randy Orton in the fourth part of Orton’s Elimination Chamber gauntlet. Cesaro is rapidly gaining popularity and it would seem a face turn is imminent. Other than that we might get more on the Daniel Bryan vs. Kane feud. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Christian/Sheamus

Christian and Rollins get things going but Seth quickly takes him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. Roman catches a cross body attempt but gets popped in the face with a right hand. Sheamus comes in for the big power showdown and they slug it out for a bit before Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Reigns comes back with a knee to the ribs and brings in Ambrose who gets taken down by a running ax handle.

The fans demand Bryan and get their wish, followed by some rapid fire kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Shield comes in for the save and we have a standoff. Back from a break with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and sending Rollins into the top turnbuckle, allowing him to tag off to Sheamus.

The pale one slides to the apron and comes back with the ten forearms to the chest but the other Shield members get involved to take over. Reigns does that awesome dropkick from the floor to the apron before LAUNCHING Sheamus into the barricade. That’s not something you see too often. Ambrose comes back in to stomp away in the corner before it’s off to Reigns again for hard shots to the head and ribs.

We hit the front facelock for a bit but Reigns lets it go to knock Bryan off the apron but walks into the Irish Curse. Rollins comes in and takes a swing at Christian but only hits air before missing a backsplash to Sheamus. Hot tag brings in Christian to face Ambrose and a tornado DDT gets two on the US Champion.

Everything breaks down and Bryan takes out Reigns with the FLYING GOAT. Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive of his own though and it’s Christian hooking the reverse DDT for two on Dean but the Brogue Kick misses Ambrose and takes out Christian. Reigns spears Sheamus down and Ambrose pins Christian at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This was more about the good guys building drama amongst themselves before they head into the Chamber in a little over a week. There weren’t any problems for Shield this time which is a good thing before their big six man tag. This was the usual Shield six man so it was fine all around.

Zeb Colter asks Vickie Guerrero to be his valentine but she’s not falling for it. Colter wants an Intercontinental Title shot for Jack Swagger but Vickie says he has to beat Rey Mysterio. That’s fine with Zeb but Vickie makes it a fourway with Kofi Kingston and Mark Henry filling the other spots. Vickie shoves the chocolates into Zeb’s chest, meaning she’s a face now?

Cesaro (officially without the Antonio) says he’ll win tonight and then take the title at Elimination Chamber.

Lita Hall of Fame video.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Raw ReBound covers Betty White and the Outlaws.

Bad News Barrett says American women are going to gain several pounds by tomorrow morning and be ashamed of what they see in the morning. Is there a point to this character coming anytime soon?

Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel/New Age Outlaws

Billy and Goldust get things going with Gunn taking an atomic drop and the uppercut for a quick two. Off to Road Dogg vs. Cody with the sunset flip out of the corner getting two on Roadie. A clothesline gets the same and it’s off to an armbar from Rhodes. Jimmy comes in off the tag to stay on the arm and a double elbow gets two for the twins. Road Dogg takes Jey into the corner and it’s off to Axel for a dropkick. Ryback comes in for some driving shoulders in the corner and a hard slam as we take a break.

Back with Ryback elbowing Jey in the face and handing it off to Billy again. The Stinger Splash hits buckle and a double tag brings in Road Dogg and Jimmy. Everything breaks down with Jimmy cleaning house and hitting the running Umaga attack in the corner. Cody dives over the top to take out Axel but Ryback throws him into the barricade, only to walk into a Golden cannonball off the apron. A double superkick drops Road Dogg, Jey dives on the other heels and Jimmy hits the Superfly Splash for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. This did its job but wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Most importantly of all though it gets us closer to the Usos getting their Tag Titles which they earned about two years ago. Ryback and Axel have nowhere to go at this point and I have no idea what’s next for Goldust and Cody. The tag division has a lot of names in it right now but it’s not a very deep talent pool.

Randy Orton says this gauntlet is just to make him better and all that matters is him being champion. Tonight, Cesaro gets the Viper.

Lana says Alexander Rusev isn’t coming to make friends.

Darren Young vs. Damien Sandow

Titus O’Neil is on commentary. Young catches Sandow in a quick atomic drop and clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Damien gets a knee to Darren’s ribs but You’re Welcome is countered into a rollup for the pin by Young at 1:07. So much for rebuilding Sandow.

Titus goes after Darren post match but Young rips his pants off. I’ll let you make your own jokes.

The Bellas show us how to use the WWE Network.

Fandango vs. The Miz

Miz dropkicks the knee out to start and rains down left hands in the corner but Fandango comes back with an atomic drop. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the chinlock on Miz. It’s quickly broken and Miz fights back with some basic stuff and the Reality Check but gets kicked shoulder first into the post. This brings out Santino and Emma for a distraction and a cat fight between Emma and Summer. Distraction, Skull Crushing Finale, pin on Fandango at 3:47.

Rating: D. At least it was the better finisher. I’m not sure how I’d react if we got through a week of shows without the distraction finish. Santino and Emma are a decent enough cute pair but Emma is going to have to get away from him if she wants to get over. Santino is going to overshadow whoever he’s with due to how over the top he is and there’s not much of a way around that.

Bobo Brazil video.

Cesaro vs. Randy Orton

In the sitdown interview of the week, HHH said he thinks Cesaro might be the wildcard in the Chamber. Cesaro chases Orton to the floor to start but doesn’t go after him. They do the same thing again before Cesaro takes him to the mat and hits the gutwrench for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two more and they both head outside. Orton reverses a whip into the barricade and clotheslines Cesar as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Cesaro into the announce table and taking him inside for a chinlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE and Cesaro fights out, only to lose a fist fight and get elbowed to the mat. Cesaro rolls outside and catches Orton with a big clothesline of his own and counters the Elevated DDT into the Swing. Randy can barely get to his feet but is able to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. Cesaro lands on his feet but runs into the powerslam for two.

Now the Elevated DDT connects and Orton points to the sign to make this serious. He spends too much time walking around though and it’s Swiss Death for two. They head to the corner where Orton tries a superplex but Cesaro counters into a sunset bomb. A discus uppercut sets up the Neutralizer for the completely clean pin at 12:44.

Rating: B-. Well you can’t give much more of a rub than that. However I’d be much happier with this if Kofi Kingston hadn’t gotten the same kind of a win just a month ago. Cesaro is a guy that could be world championship material with a good push (meaning getting away from Swagger) but I have a feeling this is just for the Chamber and then it’s back to nothing for not-Antonio.

Cesaro waves to Orton to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good Smackdown tonight with some nice action and angle advancement which is all you can ask for anymore. Unfortunately I don’t think tonight is going to mean much. Cesaro isn’t winning the title and while Sheamus and Christian had some problems, I can’t imagine it’s anyone but Orton, Bryan or maybe Cena walking out of the Chamber with the title. Randy has to be the favorite even though he’s lost three out of his last five matches and might even lose to Sheamus on Monday, making him look like a lame duck champion heading into Wrestlemania.

The rest of the show was good stuff with a nice six man, a good four way, a watchable eight man and a short Miz match that involved good looking women fighting. That’s not bad at all when you consider what Smackdown means in the grand scheme of things anymore. Cesaro winning made me smile, but I can’t imagine it’s anymore more than false hope.

One more note: the spoilers I read said there was an Eva Marie vs. Alicia Fox match taped with Eva winning via rollup but there was no sign of it at all here.

Results

Shield b. Christian/Sheamus/Daniel Bryan – Ambrose pinned Christian after a Brogue Kick from Sheamus

The Miz b. Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio and Mark Henry – Patriot Lock to Kingston

Usos/Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. New Age Outlaws/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Road Dogg

Darren Young b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

Cesaro b. Randy Orton – Neutralizer

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Thought of the Day: Batista and Wrestlemania

I’ve shifted a bit on this.At the Rumble, I was ok with Batista winning and getting the title shot at Wrestlemania.  Since then though, it’s pretty clear that things aren’t what they used to be.  Yeah Batista is in a big Hollywood movie this year, but the wrestling fans just do not care.  A lot of this is due to Bryan and Punk, as Batista just came back at the wrong time.  The fans want to see Daniel Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania and they want Punk back (though the chants were WAY weaker on Monday) and Batista just happens to be there around this time.

As of right now, they would be insane to put Batista in the title match as the only challenger.  He’s certainly a big name and worthy of being in the title hunt, but I think just bringing him back and immediately putting him in the title match in this environment was just asking for trouble.  Thankfully it does seem like the company is backpedaling a bit on him as Batista is barely getting any TV time.  Making the title match a three way would be acceptable, as I really don’t think the fans are as much anti-Batista as they are pro-Bryan.  There’s a future in WWE for Big Dave, but it’s not as the sole challenger for Randy Orton at Wrestlemania XXX.




More In Depth Thoughts on Raw – February 10, 2014

Raw was another mixed bag last night but things are looking interesting going into Elimination Chamber. There isn’t as much to talk about this week though.

 

We’ll start with the old white elephant in the room. Betty White was the guest star last night and was fine. She’s one of those celebrities that it’s hard to not like on some level. Her segments totaled about seven minutes total and while they weren’t funny, she didn’t hurt anything and was charming so I can’t complain too much. The Outlaws bit was rather dumb but that’s comedy in the WWE for you. Oh and Big Show gets mauled by Brock two weeks ago and comes out just fine? Really?

 

The Authority did their usual schtick by making Orton look like a hopeless joke which we just have to live with anymore. HHH and Stephanie aren’t getting shown up anytime soon because they’re just so darn likeable and amazing so Orton gets to be the scapegoat. Nothing much to this segment, but can we please stop with the cutting off promos ten seconds in? This has become a thing recently and happened with Orton and Kane last night. It’s kind of annoying, though at the same time it’s less Authority related talking I have to listen to so I’m split on this one.

 

There were two more long and well done tag matches with a six man and four man version. While both were entertaining, I’m getting a bit tired of them. There are so many stories going on right now and since Smackdown is absolutely worthless anymore, everything gets crammed into Raw in a bunch of tag matches. They’re entertaining, but I kind of roll my eyes when I hear one announced.

 

After the Wyatt six man we had a promo from Bray Wyatt, calling the Shield toy soldiers in a war they can’t win. Bray said after the war the Family would be moving on to another plan, which has to mean Cena. I’m excited either way as the Wyatts have nailed their gimmick so well it’s unreal.

 

Miz interrupted Santino vs. Fandango and ranted about not being able to get into a match while the two of them wrestled. As soon as he left, Cole asked what Miz’s problem was. Lines like that are what make me want to watch the show with the sound muted.

 

I liked Sheamus’ promo about walking into a bar with Christian. It was simple, to the point, and tied back into the Chamber. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Cesaro looked great in the tag match last night and needs to get away from Swagger immediately. That being said, it’s Swagger who looks to be turning face soon, even though the fans are behind Cesaro. Obviously Colter can’t be turned face, which is what makes me think it’s coming.

 

Ziggler is supposed to be in line for a push so they job him clean in 90 seconds. Gotta love WWE logic.

 

Batista beat up Del Rio and their match was announced for Elimination Chamber. I gave Batista the benefit of the doubt at the Rumble and still don’t mind him winning, but the spark is just not there at all. Batista looks in great shape and will probably be fine in the ring, but if he’s the one in the main event of Wrestlemania winning the title, the crowd is going to die a slow and painful death.

 

Lita is going into the Hall of Fame. The low cut tops she wore when she was with Edge alone are more than enough justification for me. Also, Trish has to induct her right?

 

It looks like we’re getting Usos vs. Outlaws soon which hopefully gives us the long overdue Usos title reign.

 

Ambrose’s open challenge was what it should have been. Henry wasn’t much of a challenger but at least it was a title defense that wasn’t wasted. One other thing though: what else was Henry going to do if there wasn’t an open challenge? His return was advertised all night and last week, so were we getting a basket weaving lesson unless Ambrose issued the challenge? Also Dean’s reaction with the bugged out eyes and forced smile when Henry’s music hit had me in stitches. The guy’s facial expressions are some of the best in wrestling today.

 

That brings us to the coolest part of last night’s show: the Wyatts came out after Ambrose’s match to stare down the Shield. The place went NUTS when it looked like the fight was on but Bray and company backed down. They need to let that match be an all out war instead of a tag match but it’s going to be awesome either way.

 

The Divas match last night was horrible. I beg of you WWE: put Finlay in charge of them again. The wrestling was horrid and they’re getting back into the horrible habit of the girls being models instead of wrestlers.

 

Kane vs. Bryan is coming and odds are it’ll be on a big Raw before Wrestlemania. No complaints from me.

 

The main event was of course Cena vs. Orton again, which isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. The matches are still good but I don’t get excited about them at all. It’s been done so many times now and the premise doesn’t work. Cena is so long since established as the top star and Orton just doesn’t work as the huge rival anymore.

 

That being said, there were some very good things about the match. First of all, I love how Orton learns during his matches. If you watch his work against guys he’s fought before, Orton will start countering/avoiding signature spots. He did it on Friday by countering the sunset flip out of the corner and last night he avoided the Cena shoulder blocks. It’s a very simple thing but it shows thinking in the ring, which is a lost art.

 

Speaking of lost arts, Orton put on a clinic in working a crowd like an old school heel last night. He stalled, he played to the crowd, and he had the people wanting Cena to kill him. If you want the fans to pay attention to you, pay attention to them. It’s how Cena has saved a ton of crowds from getting away from them and it’s how almost every top star ever has gotten where they are. Look back at Rock, Austin, Cena, Sting and Bryan now: they all play directly to the crowd and ask them to react to things. Fans love nothing more than being a part of the show and it works the same for heels. Good stuff in that area.

 

A few more notes about the show:

 

Can we get Cena checked for short term memory loss? A few weeks ago Orton attacked his dad and never mentioned it. Then the Wyatts cost him the title at the Rumble and he hasn’t talked about that either. I know it’s coming, but at least mention it again.

 

All of the champions in action lost last night. On top of that, the Outlaws were in a comedy segment that appealed to five year olds. I’m so glad we got the titles off of Goldust and Cody so the tag champions could be used in comedy sketches.

 

Has Big E. Langston fallen into a hole and no one has been around to hear him scream for help? The guy has disappeared since the Rumble.

 

Speaking of disappearing, does anyone remember Brock Lesnar demanding to be #1 contender? It looked like he was going to fight the Authority about it and then just disappeared. Good thing too, as it almost looked like the Authority might have to face some adversity and that’s not Best for Business.

 

Rumor has it that Shelton Benjamin worked a dark match against Tyson Kidd last night.  However, he and Kidd say this isn’t true so chalk another one up for internet reporters.

 

Steve Austin and RVD were backstage last night with Austin there to talk to Zeb Colter about being on the podcast. From what I’ve heard, there are no plans to bring RVD back to TV soon.

 

Overall Raw was entertaining, but there was nothing that needed to be seen. It did a good enough job building up the Chamber show, but it didn’t do much for me.

 

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Smackdown – February 7, 2014: God Bless Expiring TV Contracts

Smackdown
Date: February 7, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

So the main story this week is Randy Orton running the Elimination Chamber gauntlet as he has to jump through another Authority hoop to be the face of the WWE, whatever that means anymore. His opponent tonight is Christian which should be fun given their past encounters. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which we don’t get that often anymore.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going. On Monday, the Authority said that he would be the face of the WWE if he could beat Randy Orton, but that’s not what Bryan wants to be. He wants to just be himself, but it doesn’t matter because the Authority showed their true colors by sending down Kane to chokeslam him after the match. We get a clip of the end of the match with Bryan fighting off Kane and hitting the running knee on Orton for the pin, only to be beaten down after the match.

Bryan says that he’s put up with Kane doing his corporate thing since he joined the Authority but he can’t do that anymore. He wants Kane to come out here right now and explain himself, so here’s the Devil’s Favorite Libertarian In A Suit From Mens’ Warehouse. Side note: Kane’s current look reminds me of Bull Shannon from Night Court. Kane stops on the stage but Bryan says he can’t hear him so Kane should come to the ring.

Kane stays where he is and gives a scripted apology but Bryan cuts him off again. He reminds Kane of the HELL NO days and I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS and hugging it out. That Kane was his friend and Bryan wants him back. Get rid of the suit and tie, go put on your mask and become the monster again. Kane says they do have history, but that’s all it is. He’s turned in the undisclosed location for a corner office and is glad the HELL NO days are over.

They used to be friends and the old saying in wrestling is you can make friends or you can make money, and Kane is doing well for himself right now. Bryan says he’s doing well too, but that’s because he has an arena full of friends right here. If Kane and Bryan aren’t friends, why doesn’t Kane come down here right now so they can settle this like people who aren’t friends? Kane declines but gives Bryan a match with Antonio Cesaro.

The announcers explain the Elimination Chamber.

Shield vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston

It’s Reigns/Ambrose here with the home state boy Rollins on commentary. Ambrose grabs a headlock on Kofi to start as the fans chant for Rollins. Kofi trips him up and hits a quick splash for two before it’s off to Ziggler for no reaction at all. Dolph ducks a clothesline and punches Ambrose down before dropping the ten elbows. He speeds the spot up by not getting to his feet after each elbow and dropping them from only a foot or so, which is a smart change.

Reigns comes in and runs Ziggler down to take over before it’s quickly back to Ambrose. Kofi gets the tag as well to speed things up again but Dean trips him up, setting up a SWEET running dropkick from Reigns where he starts on the floor and lands on the apron. That’s the best I’ve ever seen that move look and it takes us to a break.

Back with Dean getting two on Kofi off a butterfly suplex and cranking on a reverse chinlock. Dean tries it again from the middle rope but Kofi knocks him down and hits a high cross body to get a breather. A spinning kick to Ambrose’s head is enough to make the tag to Dolph but Reigns is in as well.

Dolph starts cleaning house with dropkicks and neckbreakers but walks into something resembling Cena’s spinning slam. Roman loads up the spear but Dean gets caught trying to tag himself in. The distraction lets Ziggler get two off a jumping DDT as Ambrose takes out Kofi on the floor. Ziggler can’t hook the Zig Zag and it’s the Superman Punch and spear to knock Ziggler into next week. Reigns tags in Ambrose and lets him get the pin at 9:58.

Rating: C+. This was more about storytelling but it’s getting more and more obvious that Reigns is getting the huge push soon. They’ve even got signature spots set up for him, each one more high impact than the previous. He’s a fun guy to watch and that can help a lot when you’ve got a rocket strapped on your back.

Post match the Wyatts show up on screen with Bray talking about how the Shield is bickering like children. They believe Bray is a joke and a facade. The hat comes off and Bray gets serious. If you could see the evil behind his eyes, you would know what kind of a monster he really is. Harper says those that will not follow them will be the first to burn. Follow the buzzards.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

We open with a discussion on Sheamus possibly wearing steel toed boots. Sheamus runs Ryback over with a shoulder block but a Curtis Axel distraction lets Ryback get in some cheap shots. The rolling fireman’s carry puts Ryback down and Curtis gets a Brogue Kick. Sheamus gets back on the apron and tries the ten forearms but Ryback pulls him inside to break it up. I don’t remember anyone ever countering that move.

Ryback hits a splash for two and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Sheamus fights up and gets caught in the over the shoulder Stunner followed by Ryback going up top (?!?) but missing a splash. Sheamus comes back with right hands and gets all fired up with a powerslam. The Brogue Kick is countered into a powerbomb for two and Sheamus is in trouble. That trouble is short lived though as he counters the Meat Hook with the Brogue Kick for the pin at 5:43.

Rating: C+. How sad is it that Ryback is a jobber to the stars less than a year after he was #30 in the Rumble? This match could have easily been on Wrestlemania last year and now it’s a surprisingly good match on Smackdown. Ryback looked better than he has in months out there, because he was wrestling the same style that had him main eventing PPVs in 2012 rather than the whining that wastes his natural skills.

This week’s sitdown interview with HHH talks about Orton running the gauntlet to make him better. Also on Monday: Orton vs. Cena.

Legends House promo.

Alberto Del Rio is in the back and we take a look at the brawl with Batista from Monday. Del Rio wants a piece of the Animal. The less talking in this feud, the better it is for everyone involved including the fans.

Daniel Bryan vs. Antonio Cesaro

Daniel grabs a front facelock to start but Antonio drives him into the corner for some chops. Bryan comes back with knees and kicks to the chest but walks into a European uppercut for two. Bryan bridges up to block a pin and Cesaro can’t break it even by jumping on top of Bryan’s body. Cesaro spends too much time shouting WE THE PEOPLE and gets caught in a short arm scissors but Cesaro easily lifts him into the air and drops Bryan down for the break.

Antonio pounds away in the corner and hooks a chinlock but Bryan comes back with the running clothesline. A top rope hurricanrana gets two on Antonio and there are some YES Kicks but Cesaro counters the last one into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two as we take a break. Back with Bryan in a chinlock before a bit boot sends him flying across the ring.

Cesaro misses a charge and falls to the floor but Bryan’s knee off the apron hits Swagger instead of Antonio. Back in and Daniel’s missile dropkick is countered by an uppercut but he grabs the rope to avoid the Swing. Cesaro loads up the Neutralizer but Bryan counters into a YES Lock attempt. That’s countered as well but Bryan comes out of the corner with a headscissors to drive Cesaro into the mat for the YES Lock (think the original Sin Cara’s La Mistica) and the submission at 10:39.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with both guys countering everything thrown at them. The ending was awesome as well with Bryan not being able to get Cesaro into the YES Lock by muscle so he used a quick stunning move to get it on instead. I love thinking during a match like that and these two are great at it.

Kane comes out post match and the distraction lets Cesaro hit a Neutralizer on Bryan. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying as well.

Randy Orton says one loss to Bryan doesn’t make up for the losses Bryan has suffered to him. He’ll win in the Chamber and confirm that he’s the best in the world.

Ernie Ladd Black History Month video.

Alexander Rusev and Lana are coming.

Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee

Nikki picks AJ up in a choke to start before hitting a nice slam. AJ throws on a sleeper to put Nikki down before kicking her down into the mat. Nikki comes back with a facebuster and a bad looking backdrop before the seconds get in a fight on the apron. Tamina is knocked to the floor and Nikki throws AJ into Brie by mistake, setting up the Black Widow to give AJ the submission win at 2:40.

We look back at Titus O’Neil turning on Darren Young last week to split up the Prime Time Players.

Titus interviews Renee Young (yes that’s right) but Titus won’t let her talk, saying he could have won a lot more titles on his own while the Players were a team. Young has nice hair but Titus looks better, smells better and has a great smile. He sends Renee running along when Darren Young jumps him from behind and beats O’Neil up, shouting that he isn’t dead weight. Nice beatdown segment, but at the end of the day he’s just Darren Young and there aren’t many ways around that.

Goldust vs. Bray Wyatt

An inset interview from the Rhodes Brothers says they’re desperate and will be taking more risks to get back where they belong. Goldust tries the deep breath and gets kicked in the face. Bray leans upside down in the corner and Goldust doesn’t know what to think. All Bray to start as he runs Goldust over and hits some uppercuts from the floor.

We hit a nerve hold on Goldie but he fights up and nails a back elbow off the middle rope to get a breather. A middle rope hurricanrana sends Bray to the mat again and Goldust follows up with a spinebuster. Wyatt bails to the floor and Goldust hits a running flip dive to take him down. The Family goes after Cody as Bray gets angry. He takes Goldust’s head off with a clothesline and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: C+. Another good match here with Goldust continues his comeback tour while Bray is just a freaky dude when he turns it on. They’ve kept him looking strong since he debuted and the character has worked far better as a result. Why WWE insists on never letting people be kept strong is beyond me when the results can be this strong.

Shield pops up on screen post match and says yeah, they’ll full of pride because they’ve earned the right to be. Rollins says they’re not afraid and he’ll be scraping their beards off his boot. Reigns says they could have been WWE Champion and it’s time for justice. Believe in the Shield. Bray shouts that he’ll believe in the Shield when their eyes are battered shut.

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Non-title. Christian hits a quick shoulder block to start but Orton comes back with knees and fists to the head. Orton runs into a back elbow and gets backdropped to the floor, followed by a top rope cross body as we take a break. Back with Christian trying to crotch Orton against the post but Randy pulls his legs forward to send the Canadian into the steel instead.

Christian is dropped back first onto the barricade for two back inside. A few stomps have Christian in trouble and Orton whips him across the corner a few times. We get a pose with a shot of the Wrestlemania sign but Christian comes back with a right hand of his own. Orton dropkicks him down again and hooks a chinlock as the fans think Randy sucks. Christian belly to back suplexes him down and they slug it out with Christian getting the better of it.

The Canadian rains down right hands in the corner but Randy comes back with a running clothesline. Christian clotheslines him right back and hits a top rope cross body for two. A top rope back elbow to the jaw looks to set up the Killswitch but Orton snaps off the powerslam for another two count. Christian is sent shoulder first into the post but he’s still able to counter the Elevated DDT. He can’t hit the frog splash though and the second attempt at the DDT connects. The RKO and Killswitch are countered but Christian’s sunset flip out of the corner is caught in the RKO for the pin at 11:53.

Rating: B. These two always have chemistry together and I’ve yet to see them have a bad match. The ending, while done before, still looks good as Orton can time that RKO out of the air almost perfectly. Christian doesn’t have a chance inside the Chamber but he’s a great hand and can make you believe he could pull it out.

Overall Rating: B. I’m not sure what has Smackdown on this roll as of late but I’m not complaining at all. It’s either Wrestlemania or the upcoming TV deals but the show has been great for most of this year. There were two big matches, good build towards the six man and Sheamus vs. Ryback in a good match. What more can you ask for on a supplemental show?

Results

Shield b. Kofi Kingston/Dolph Ziggler – Ambrose pinned Ziggler after a spear from Reigns

AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow

Daniel Bryan b. Antonio Cesaro – YES Lock

Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick

Bray Wyatt b. Goldust – Sister Abigail

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

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More In Depth Thoughts on Raw – February 3, 2014

Last night’s show was polarizing to say the least. I’ve seen people calling it a classic to a decent show to the worst show in a long time. As usual I found myself right in the middle. We’ll start with the beginning of course.

 

First and foremost, the crowd was chanting for CM Punk throughout the night. Here’s the thing that people keep forgetting: Punk walked out on the company and the fans. In a word, he quit. Punk wasn’t being held back by the company, he wasn’t being misused and he wasn’t some kind of a martyr. He quit a job that he wasn’t happy at anymore and that’s all there was to it. The fans chanting for him comes off as more anti-WWE than pro-Punk, but that’s not what it should be.

 

This brings me to the Authority, who interrupted Orton while he was fighting the Punk chants. To clarify, HHH didn’t want Bryan to be champion but now that Orton has done everything HHH wants, HHH doesn’t want Orton as champion either and keeps setting up new hoops for Randy to jump through. Then he’s all pro-Bryan even though nothing seems to have changed between the two of them. Whether he’s acting like one or not, HHH is supposed to be a heel but isn’t acting like one at all. Last week was great when he was acting like a corporate jerk to Bryan but being the same to Orton is just confusing.

 

Next up was the further murdering of the midcard title scene. JBL mentioned that Ambrose never defends his US Title and Langston loses the fall. Big E. suddenly has nothing to do at all after spending weeks fighting off a challenger of the month for the title which was as basic of a story as you can get but it worked fine. Now both champions are making the titles look more and more worthless despite being strong to start. In other words, they’re the same as every midcard champion has been for years.

 

Shield vs. Wyatts is going to be amazing. I don’t think I need to go any further than that.

 

I don’t get the deal with Lawler interrupting Bad News Barrett. I don’t think they’re building to a match between the two of them, but Barrett needs ANYTHING to do right now and Jerry Lawler isn’t going to make things better for him. He was a good character when he was pointing out how bad stuff was, but saying stuff like “eating junk food is bad for you” isn’t going to get anyone to care about him.

 

Swagger losing is little more than another losing streak angle that they’ve used a dozen times before. Stop with the same ideas over and over again and come up with some actual stories for the split. Say Swagger is in love with a foreign chick or have Sin Cara help him so Swagger realizes Colter is wrong or something so people can actually RELATE TO HIM instead of just making him look pathetic and going for pity.

 

Betty White as the guest host is just…..there. She’ll make some people chuckle, she’ll interact with some comedy guys, she’ll make fun of low level heels, and then she’ll leave and will be mentioned once more in about a year or so and people will say “Oh yeah. She was on Raw once.” Seriously, that’s it.

 

Now on to the biggest disaster of the night: that cage match. This was just horrible for a few reasons. First and foremost, the Outlaws just aren’t any good in the ring and I have no idea why people would expect them to be. Do you remember the Outlaws in the 90s? They were the Honky Tonk Man of the division, winning by cheating in ways that no one had even invented yet and stealing the belts from every team that deserved them until the fans found their antics funny and turned them face as a result.

 

Now they’re beating a good team clean because people remember them as awesome and think that means they used to be good in the ring. It doesn’t help that they’re playing to the crowd and can do that as well as any team in history so the fans are always going to cheer for them, making Cody and Goldust, as in the team that has worked harder than anyone to get over, look like afterthoughts as we set up their singles feud (which no one wants to see) through ANOTHER losing streak angle.

 

In other words, we’re pushing nostalgia as faces (nothing wrong with that) at the expense of good faces (a lot wrong with that). Have the Outlaws doing this stuff to 3MB or the Real Americans or ANY heel team and the act is much more fun and logical than anything else. Instead it’s hurting Goldust and Cody to make a team with an average age of 47 years old and who are only out there on a nostalgia run. On top of that, their matches have SUCKED and Road Dogg nearly let Cody kill himself by not taking a step to the left to catch him. Oh and why can Road Dogg swear during the in-ring entrances but not the song opening?

 

Moving on to the next match we have Titus O’Neil as a monster heel which I really dig. The guy was the best thing not named the Usos about the dying days of the original NXT and I’d love to see him pushed as something that matters. The Clash of the Titus is a great power move and looks awesome when used.

 

During that same match we had Miz come out and complain that he couldn’t get on the show while a guy that makes internet championships and a guy who barks like a dog get TV time. Word on the street is that he’s being paired with Ziggler (check out the promo from the App on Smackdown to see more. We’ll be back to Dolph later) as two disgruntled performers who want to be higher on the card. Sounds like they’re parodying/mocking Punk to me but maybe not.

 

What I liked here though was Miz felt spontaneous. How many times have you seen a match end and we cut to the back where two people just happen to be standing in front of a camera so it can catch their conversation, which clearly hasn’t started until the match ended? That kind of thing drives me insane because it looks SO scripted. Miz coming out during a match made it feel like he had to get this off his chest and didn’t flag down a cameraman and demand time so it could be aired after the match. It happened right then and there, making it feel more realistic. I miss that so much anymore.

 

This brings us to the dance off with Summer Rae and Emma. They did this same bit in NXT which worked better there because of one simple reason: the fans know who Emma is. This is the same reason why Diamond Dallas Page never got over in the WWF. See, down in NXT it’s a much more close knit atmosphere. The fans feel like they’re a part of the show and they’ve embraced Emma and want their people to be the little engines that can and show they can be just as good as WWE (same as ECW when you think about it).

 

Well WWE fans have no idea who Emma is for the most part. She’s just some chick that dances in the crowd and holds up a sign that says EMMALUTION while Cole says “Oh she’s from NXT”, which a lot of fans have no idea exists. The people didn’t care about Emma because they have no reason to care about Emma. She’s just some chick that has been at Raw for the last month and apparently dances a lot. Why should I care about that unless I watch NXT?

 

Next up was Sheamus not squashing Curtis Axel in seven minutes. Sheamus is in the world title match at the next PPV and took seven minutes to beat a jobber to the stars. That’s not acceptable.

 

Batista was up next but thankfully was cut off by Alberto Del Rio. Why are these two fighting? Because Del Rio thinks Batista doesn’t deserve that title shot. Not that Del Rio wants the title shot for himself or anything, because that would just be a stupid thing to add to the match. It might actually intrigue people or something and we wouldn’t want that.

 

The Wyatts squashed the dancers and Ziggler to further make my head hurt. The announcers acknowledged the promo Ziggler cut and then he goes out and gets destroyed in five minutes like nothing has changed at all. This is what I’m talking about when I say the writers don’t remember anything that happened five minutes ago. Have Dolph be frustrated or try extra hard or SOMETHING, but don’t have him say one thing then do another and expect us to care about him. Or maybe you could, I don’t know, SHOW US THE PROMO instead of just hyping the App. You show us stuff from it every week but not that?

 

There was a Divas match between Naomi and Aksana which was just embarrassing. Near the end Naomi caught Aksana in a head scissors position out of the corner but didn’t take Aksana down. Instead she just wiggled her hips in the air and let go. From a kayfabe perspective, what does that accomplish? How does that help Naomi win the match? It makes her look like she doesn’t take this seriously, so why should I take her as a serious challenger to AJ?

 

Last up was the main event, which made things even worse. First of all let me clarify: the match was very entertaining, but the story made no sense. Kane interfered at the end, presumably sent by the Authority (unless the Authority complains about him interfering later, we have no reason to assume they disagree with what he did) to help Orton win. Why would they come out and help Orton win if they seemingly had no problem with Bryan beating him?

 

Again, the Authority tries to play both sides without ever playing heels ON CAMERA. Their interference is implied here, but whenever they’re on screen they’ll be talking down to Orton like he’s a child (imagine someone saying that to Rock, Austin, Hogan, or any other champion. The reaction alone would turn them face but instead Orton just nods and accepts it because the Authority is all powerful and cannot be questioned) and say Orton has to regain their trust before starting this cycle all over again.

 

To put it into one sentence, the Authority storyline makes no sense. What do they want? Orton as face of the company? Fine, but if they want him as face of the company, why constantly move the goal posts on him? You do that to people you hate, not people you want to be the top guy. Vince did it to Austin and Bischoff did it to WCW when he ran the NWO. And why is HHH backing Bryan after spending months telling him he was worthless? The Authority is Johnny Ace without the goofy charisma and that’s not a good thing at all.

 

A few other notes here:

 

Were there any backstage segments last night? There weren’t a ton on Smackdown that I remember and now there were none last night. I rather like that idea as there are usually WAY too many and they drag the show down. One or two is fine but keep those things quick and have them mean something.

 

No Cena due to the eye injury which is all you can ask for. He ran in for the post show beatdown of Orton and Kane but I’d assume his eye was too messed up to be seen on camera. That’s the right idea as you need him healthy for Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, not a Raw in early February.

 

Overall I thought Raw was good last night, but this Authority nonsense has been going on WAY too long. The Authority is fine as a heel idea, but have them be HEELS, not people who treat everyone like garbage. It makes your heels look weak and keeps fans from caring about seeing them get beaten up. A double standard is a heel tactic, but when you use it on another heel, it just confuses people.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 3, 2014: I Welcome This Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 3, 2014
Location: CenturyLink Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The big story from last week is CM Punk walking out on the company due to reasons that aren’t entirely clear. There’s always the possibility that it’s a work, but as of right now there’s a very good chance Punk isn’t at Wrestlemania. Other than that we’re three weeks away from Elimination Chamber and the card is already getting filled in. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Orton to open the show and he immediately has to talk over the CM Punk chant. He says the Authority is trying to teach him something, even though he won the title with hard work. Orton asks the fans how many times he has to beat all five of his opponents inside the chamber. Randy says he’ll keep the title there and at Wrestlemania against Batista. Back in Evolution they were equals but now Orton is simply the better man.

This brings out the Authority (with Stephanie showing off some large arms) to talk down to Orton about how he needs to calm down. HHH goes into the same speech he’s had every week for months now: he’s not sure if Orton is worthy of being the face of the WWE and they might be losing faith in him. Stephanie says Orton is going to be facing all five of his opponents in the coming weeks and if he loses tonight, we might have a new face of the WWE: Daniel Bryan. HHH stats a YES chant, basically erasing the entire end of 2013 from existence.

Shield vs. Big E. Langston/Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston

Not a bad group of midcard challengers. Langston takes Ambrose into the corner to start before it’s off to Kofi who cranks on the arm for a bit. The announcers bring up the fact that Ambrose never defense the US Title as it’s off to Rollins who gets taken down by a monkey flip and a running clothesline in the corner for two. Ambrose comes back in and takes Kofi down before handing it back to Rollins for a front facelock. Seth cranks on Kofi’s head but misses a knee drop, allowing for the hot tag to Mysterio.

A seated senton from the top and a kick to the head are good for two but Rollins makes a blind tag to Reigns. Rey tries a hurricanrana on Rollins but gets caught by a jumping clothesline from Reigns which allows Seth to powerbomb him down for two as we take a break. Back with Reigns holding a chinlock on Mysterio before it’s back to Ambrose for some jumping stomps. Dean puts on a chinlock of his own before Rey fights up and slams him down, allowing for the real hot tag to Langston.

Big E. runs over Reigns and hits the belly to belly and Warrior Splash for two until the other Shield members save. Everything breaks down until we’re back to Reign vs. Langston with Big E. hitting the Superman Punch. Reigns loads up the spear but Ambrose tags himself in and hits the bulldog driver for the pin on Big E. at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Shield looks good as expected and there’s drama at the end to set up the potential split even more. It’s going to be a big moment when Reigns Superman Punches Ambrose’s head off or spears the vest off of him. A Kofi loss would have been better than Langston here though. I never care to see champions lose.

Post match the Wyatts pop up on the screen with Bray talking about knowing Shield’s blueprint. They spend their days crawling to that beautiful moment where they can sacrifice themselves in the name of their king. That moment is closer than they think because Bray is building his empire close to the see so he can watch his enemies drown with a smile on his face. Harper says that he (presumably meaning Bray) has always been their king. Rowan leans forward with the sheep mask and says run.

Bad News Barrett thinks it’s funny that 112 million people who watched the Super Bowl and ate so much junk food that they won’t be alive for next year’s game. Jerry Lawler of all people gets on the announce table and says hopefully Barrett won’t be here next week. Nothing more to it than that.

How to download the WWE App. Even JBL and Lawler make fun of him for this. Cole turns it into a plug for the WWE Network, spelling out the savings on buying all the PPVs. We also get a clip of the Countdown show.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Rematch from Smackdown. Jack takes him right to the mat and puts on Luke Harper’s Gator Roll before driving him into the corner. Christian sends him to the floor but Jack trips him up to send Christian face first into the apron. A whip into the steps gets two for Jack and a beal gets the same. Swagger rams him back first into the buckle and puts Christian down with a powerslam for another two.

The fans get behind the Canadian and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Swagger. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Swagger down again but Jack knees Christian in the ribs to slow him down. The gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a reverse DDT for two and Christian starts clapping. He snaps Jack’s back across the ropes but has to fight out of the Patriot Lock. The Killswitch is countered as is the middle rope sunset flip. The Vader Bomb hits feet though and now the sunset flip out of the corner is good for the pin on Swagger at 5:55.

Rating: C+. I liked this much more than I thought I would. Swagger is good in the ring but he needs to shake off this loser stigma that he’s acquired. He’s a guy with a lot of ability but he’s in need of repackaging at this point. Still though, good match here with both guys looking better than I expected.

The cage is lowered.

Betty White is guest starring next week. Just….why?

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The Outlaws are defending and you can only win by pinfall or submission, not escaping. We get the big match intros after a break and we’re ready to go. Goldust grabs a headlock on Road Dogg to start before taking Dogg down in something like an armdrag. He gets on all fours to chase Roadie to the corner but Goldust lets him go. Road Dogg asks Billy what they’re doing in here before tagging Gunn in to face Goldust.

Cody comes in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two and a small package gets the same. Back to Road Dogg who takes Cody into the corner as a CM Punk chant starts and quickly dies. Billy comes in again and pulls Cody’s bad elbow around the top rope before putting on an armbar. The announcers talk about the tag division until it’s back to Goldust for an armbar on Road Dogg. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far.

Goldust pounds on Dogg in the corner with right hands but misses a cross body and crashes into the cage to change momentum as we take a break. Back with Goldust still in trouble via a Road Dogg chinlock until it’s back to Gunn who walks into a clothesline out of the corner. Goldust finally makes the hot tag to Cody as everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick gets two on Billy and Cody is frustrated. He looks up at the top of the cage, tells Billy to suck it and starts to climb. Cody goes to the top of the cage, totally misses the moonsault press on Road Dogg and gets caught by the Fameasser to give Billy the pin at 16:10.

Rating: D+. This was a very boring match that didn’t need to be in a cage except for the big spot at the end. I’m assuming the Brothers are going to be splitting up soon which isn’t the worst idea in the world. It also helps that they didn’t go with the losing streak angle to set up the title change.

Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus has new heel music which starts out sounding like the reveal of a villain in an over the top action movie before transitioning into something more like the Prime Time Players’ song. Titus gets in a hard shot to the face to start and sends Ryder out to the floor. Miz comes to commentary to complain about a guy barking like a dog and a guy with a fake internet championship being on Raw when he isn’t.

Miz says there’s something wrong with that and immediately walks off. That sounded like a heel turn. Titus puts on a bearhug before taking Ryder down with a clothesline. Ryder makes a brief comeback with the Broski Boot but walks into a BIG Clash of the Titus for the pin at 2:46.

Profile on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.

Time for a dance off because that’s what WWE is all about. It’s Fandango vs. Santino Marella but Santino thinks it should be Summer vs. a member of the audience. Naturally he picks Emma and it’s the same bit they did in NXT: Summer actually dances and Emma does her goofy stuff that the fans like and cheer for. Notice the difference here: Emma is a fun character doing goofy stuff whereas Vickie Guerrero can’t dance and we’re laughing at her instead of with her. Emma wins and JBL says he’s going to be sick.

Ad for Legends House on the WWE Network.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel

Sheamus easily takes Axel down to start before pounding him around the ring. Axel gets to the apron and tries a neckbreaker because he’s not that bright. Sheamus easily counters into the ten forearms before a big clothesline sends Curtis outside. Back in and Axel avoids a charge to send the recently repaired shoulder into the post. Curtis drops an elbow on the shoulder before cranking on an armbar. Sheamus fights up after a good while in the hold and hits the rolling fireman’s carry. The Brogue Kick is enough for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with that armbar draining the life out of the match. There’s nothing wrong with Sheamus getting another win to show off after being gone for so long. Axel still isn’t great but I like him in the ring. He just didn’t have a chance at all here though and everyone knew it.

Here’s Batista to speak but Del Rio interrupts. Blast it all. He says Batista has been in Hollywood while Del Rio was winning titles and it takes cahones to be a champion. Thankfully they get right to the brawl with Del Rio punching Batista in the face, only to have to bail to avoid a Batista Bomb attempt.

Dolph Ziggler/R-Truth/Xavier Woods vs. Wyatt Family

Rowan runs over Woods to start and all three of the Wyatts get their turn on him. Bray hits his especially violent stomps as the fans want Ziggler. That’s exactly what they get as everything breaks down. Wyatt hits something resembling a chokeslam on Truth as things settle back down. Bray leans upside down to look at Ziggler before Sister Abigail lays him out for the pin at 5:08. Total squash.

Rating: D. This was another of those moments that gets on my nerves: WWE has Ziggler cut a great promo after Smackdown about how angry he is and they acknowledge it here, only to have him squashed in the same match as Woods and Truth who aren’t going anywhere. Nothing to see here other than the Wyatts being creepy.

Shield comes on screen post match and says they’re coming for the Wyatts. Bray says he welcomes this war.

Alexander Rusev and Lana are coming.

Naomi vs. Aksana

Alicia Fox is in Aksana’s corner but AJ and Tamina come out to watch as well. It’s a dance off to start with AJ calling Naomi a baked potato. So she’s good with sour cream? Naomi hits a Bubba Bomb and rolls Aksana round on the mat for two. Aksana comes back with a wheelbarrow slam as AJ says Tamina failed her in the tag matches where Naomi pinned her.

Aksana puts on a chinlock as we randomly go to a wide shot of the arena. Back with Aksana holding Naomi in a figure four necklock. Naomi fights up with some dropkicks and a headscissors with some gyrations. A knee to the face puts Naomi down as the match grinds to a halt. Naomi quickly takes her down again and hits the split legged moonsault for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. I can’t stand the Divas at this point. The hip swivel stuff was just annoying with it being nothing more than trying to make the crowd chuckle. Aksana looked horrible out there and the ending with the knee to the face stopped the match cold. It sounds like we’re heading to AJ vs. Tamina though which makes sense.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

They have a lot of time for this and it’s non-title. Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking over by throwing Orton down. He sends Randy into the post and wraps the knee around the steel before hitting a running dropkick to drive it into the post. Back in and Bryan throws on a leg lock before turning it over for a two count. Off to a modified Indian deathlock but Randy bites Bryan’s hand to escape.

Daniel will have none of this being in trouble nonsense and gets two off a backslide before taking Orton down with a dragon screw leg whip. He cannonballs down on Orton’s leg to send the champion outside but Bryan follows him out with more kicks to the leg and ribs. All Bryan so far and he throws Orton over the announce table for good measure. Back inside and Bryan gets two off a top rope hurricanrana. There’s the double knee stomp out of a surfboard and Orton is reeling.

Orton gets caught in a half crab and Bryan drags him back to the middle of the ring. Orton gets all serious and crawls to the ropes before heading outside. Randy finally gets in some offense with a belly to back suplex onto the barricade and Daniel is in some trouble. Back in and Randy mouths YES before going off with right hands in the corner. Daniel comes back with kicks to the ribs and knee before moonsaulting over Randy in the corner, only to have the clothesline countered with the powerslam. I love how Orton learns from his past matches and counters signature spots. He’s done that throughout the years and it’s smart.

Back from a break with Bryan hitting more YES Kicks but having his last one countered into a capture suplex. Orton takes him to the floor and sends Bryan’s shoulder into various metal objects for two back inside. Randy cranks on a Fujiwara armbar before just stomping at the arm instead. The bad arm is draped across the top rope but Daniel fights out of a superplex with rights and lefts to the ribs.

Bryan puts Orton down with a missile dropkick but injures his arm again. They slug it out with Bryan taking over with kicks until Randy grabs the arm and wrenches it to the mat to get the advantage back. There’s the YES Lock out of nowhere but Orton is quickly in the ropes. Bryan goes back to the alternating kicks in the corner but hurts his arm again on a running dropkick. The injury slows him down enough that Orton is able to hit a running dropkick of his own to put Bryan back down. Sell the freaking knee Randy.

The Elevated DDT would look to set up the RKO but Bryan kicks him square in the head to block. Bryan goes up, points with one arm, and hits the flying headbutt for a VERY close two. There are the YES Kicks to the chest and the big one to the head has Orton down. Here’s Kane who is dropkicked off the apron almost immediately. Orton is low bridged to the floor as well and the FLYING GOAT puts both of them down. Kane is sent into the steps and the RKO is countered into the running knee for the clean pin at 26:58.

Rating: B. Good but not great match here. The biggest in ring problem here was Orton forgetting about the knee injury after the break. It was a very good match and I’m so glad they didn’t have Bryan lose because of the interference. That being said, I’m not wild on Orton losing clean in the middle of the ring to anyone at all, but at least it was Bryan.

Kane and Orton double team Bryan with no one making the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There were some bad parts here but in perhaps the only instance of this ever, I don’t think there were any backstage segments tonight. It was all about the in ring action tonight and it was a very nice change of pace from the usual Raw formula. That being said, there were a lot of problems tonight as well.

First of all, there wasn’t a standout match until the main event. The first two matches were decent enough but they’re nothing I’m going to remember in a few days. I liked Miz coming out in the Titus match to protest stuff but at the end of the day it’s still Miz. Things are shaping up heading into the Chamber, but with the amount of stars missing, there are a lot of ways they could go heading into Wrestlemania and that’s not the best thing in the world. Different but not great show, making this a decent birthday show for me.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Big E. Langston/Kofi Kingston – Bulldog driver to Langston

Christian b. Jack Swagger – Sunset flip

New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Fameasser to Rhodes

Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus

Sheamus b. Curtis Axel – Brogue Kick

Wyatt Family b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth/Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail to Ziggler

Naomi b. Aksana – Split legged moonsault

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Running knee

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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More In Depth Thoughts On Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2014

Since the Royal Rumble extra thoughts post went over so well I figured I’d try it again with Raw. I won’t be making this a regular thing unless there’s a big show where a lot of stuff happens. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening promo was absolutely awesome and did several things that it needed to accomplish. First and foremost, it caused the Authority to to act like heels for the first time in a long time. For many weeks now they’ve been the smug semi-faces that played to the crowd and acted like they were doing something to please the fans. HHH and Stephanie came off like total villains last night and it’s exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

 

On top of that, the promo advanced several feuds at the same time. It gave Sheamus something to do as soon as he gets back, it puts Cena in the Chamber to keep him in the title scene while keeping him directly away from Orton, and it gives Bryan the shot at the title that the people have been wanting him to have all along. It also keeps Shield front and center which is never a bad thing.

 

I’m going to lump all of the matches save for the main event into one big pile. Last night’s wrestling really didn’t do much for me and a lot of that is due to the amount of rematches we had. Usos vs. Ryback/Axel again, Kofi vs. Del Rio in their monthly meeting and Truth vs. Fandango because they’re both dancers. No the matches don’t happen every week like some of the feuds we get, but they happen often enough that we don’t need to see them for a long time.

 

It’s a big problem in WWE that needs to be addressed. With as deep of a roster as WWE has, there’s no excuse to not have a fresh match every few weeks. It’s ok to mix things up a bit instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again, even though it’s all WWE seems they’re capable of doing anymore.

 

That brings us to the big segment in the middle of the show with Orton, Batista and Brock Lesnar. The key thing here is the amount of doors this segment opened. It’s possible that we could be seeing Batista vs. Brock at the Elimination Chamber for the Mania title shot, or that Brock could enter into the Chamber, or that we could wind up with a three way out of all this (erg). The best thing though is that it could be one of several ideas and I’m not sure which one. That’s always a great feeling and it’s what I got last night.

 

However, the one option I don’t care to see is Batista vs. Del Rio at the Chamber. No matter how many midcarders Del Rio beats up, he’s a jobber at the main event level and has been for years now. Batista may not be the hottest thing in the world, but he’s more interesting than Del Rio. No one is going to buy that Del Rio is going to make Batista tap or pin him after the superkick. It would be a filler match with what sounds like very uninteresting chemistry.

 

The Tag Title match was nothing special but the Outlaws showed they’ve still got it. They were playing the same characters they did before, but somehow they haven’t aged in the fifteen years they’ve been gone. I don’t see them being long term champions and would love to see the Usos take the belts off of them, but there’s just not much to them in the ring. To be fair though, there wasn’t when they were in their prime either.

 

Brock interfering keeps things open but I was surprised that there was nothing to follow it up later in the show. I was expecting the Authority to come out and address Brock but the less interaction I see between HHH and Brock Lesnar, the better my experience watching Raw goes. Lesnar continues to be terrifying, which is in part due to him throwing chairs everywhere. He needs to watch it with that.

 

The main event was absolutely awesome with both teams looking great. Sheamus is certainly back and in the same shape he was in before his injury. That’s a good sign as so many people leave and then come back with a totally different look and physique that takes six months to get back to normal. As for the match, Bryan vs. Rollins stole the show as Seth continues to be the workhorse of the team. Reigns is starting to get his signature moveset together as you can see the big push coming.

 

The ending was perfect as neither team deserved to job, Reigns got to break the STF, and we set up a future match. Yeah lost in all this was the future Wyatts vs. Shield match which people have been drooling over for months now. The Shield isn’t going to be around much longer and this is the one big match that people have been wanting to see for a long time. It’ll be a nice addition to the Chamber, unless Bray and/or Reigns are added to the Chamber itself and the six man is at Wrestlemania.

 

A few other notes about the show:

 

Jake Roberts is a great choice for the Hall of Fame. He worked very hard to get his life back in order and deserves the honor for the DDT alone. This might be the better idea than putting him in the Rumble where he might have injured himself falling out of the ring.

 

A lot of people were missing from last night’s show, including Punk, Langston and Rusev. I kept thinking Punk wasn’t looking right during the Rumble so maybe he’s banged up after all the wear and tear he’s built up over the last few months. Langston might have needed a week off after the Rumble as well, given that it wasn’t his night. I hope Rusev appears more than just once in the Rumble as the guy has potential.

 

Oh and Christian is back on Friday. Uh….yay.

 

Overall it wasn’t a great show but it did what it was supposed to do. The wrestling wasn’t great but it was able to get us through the night until we hit the awesome main event. More than anything else though it set things up on the Road to Wrestlemania and calmed the fans down after they were on the verge of rioting at the Rumble. The crowd wasn’t a very big deal last night but that’s a good thing at the moment. Good but not great show.

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2014: It’s A Long Way Down The Wrestlemania Road

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and the big question is what happens to Daniel Bryan. The fans hijacked the show last night in their support of Bryan but it seems that he doesn’t have anything to do at the moment. Batista won the Royal Rumble for the shot at the WWE Title at Wrestlemania, but a lot of people can’t see that being the final match at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Authority to open Raw because that’s how WWE works nowadays. On the way to the ring we get some stills of Lesnar mauling Big Show last night. Stephanie starts her schtick and the audience immediately cuts her off with a YES. Stephanie: “Yes, yes it was one of the most satisfying Royal Rumbles in history.” HHH mocks the fans for not getting what they want and talks about how awesome last night was, including bragging about Batista’s win. Stephanie mentions one more stop at the Elimination Chamber where Orton will defend the title inside the Chamber…..AND HERE HE COMES!

Daniel Bryan comes out and starts the YES chant but asks the fans to calm down for a second because the Authority doesn’t care for it. Things calm down a bit before Bryan talks about what a great match he had last night. HHH calls it a good little effort and Stephanie agrees. This takes Bryan to the biggest disappointment last night, which of course was him not being in the Rumble. There’s a YES Movement going on and even though Bryan asked the Authority to be in the Rumble, all he got was a NO.

Stephanie says Bryan has been through a lot lately and didn’t want him to be in jeopardy. Bryan brings up all of the handicap matches against Shield and the Wyatts and all the handicap matches, but HHH says that’s why they didn’t want to do it again. Daniel accuses them of being out to get him instead of doing what’s best for business so Stephanie says Bryan is being selfish. “Do you think these people are only here to see you?” Fans: “YES! YES! YES!”

Bryan polls the audience about various people they might be here to see but Bryan seems to be the popular choice. Stephanie can’t make out what they’re saying so Bryan cuts to the chase: he wants in the Elimination Chamber and threatens HHH with violence if he doesn’t get what he wants. HHH says that sounds good but Bryan has company and here’s the Shield. Daniel immediately grabs a chair but the numbers take him down. Sheamus tries to make a save but gets taken down as well, leading to Cena making the save. I’d bet on a six man for later.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Real Americans

The six man is set for later tonight and the winning team all qualifies for the Chamber. As for the four man tag, I’m surprised it took them this long to get to this match. Mysterio, dressed like the Flash here, sends Cesaro down with a flying mare before it’s off to Cara who is in gold tights with red boots. Swagger is sent to the floor and into the announce table off a dive where Colter yells in his face. Colter says he’s not listening and slaps Swagger in the face. Jack goes back in and runs Cara over as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro elbowing Cara in the face as we look at Swagger being aggressive during the break. Cara comes back with a spinning DDT to Jack and backdrops Swagger to the floor before getting two off a victory roll to Cesaro. Antonio comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s back to Swagger who misses the Vader Bomb.

Cesaro isn’t sure what to do because Cara isn’t there for the double stomp, allowing Cara to make a hot tag to Rey. Things speed up with a top rope seated senton and the sitout bulldog for two on Cesaro. Everything breaks down and Rey sends Swagger to the floor, only to have Cara dive into the European uppercut followed by the Neutralizer for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C-. The idea of pushing the Real Americans is fine but I have zero confidence in the company to follow through on it. Besides, it’s not like anything is going to matter if the teams wind up chasing their tails all over again, which has been the case for months now. The match was fairly sloppy too, but that’s to be expected with high flying.

Here’s Bad News Barrett on his podium with the gavel. He has some BAD NEWS for the viewing audience: tonight we have to watch Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz in the Battle of Cleveland. This is a problem as Cleveland is full of nothing but losers.

Video on the Monday Night War series on the WWE Network.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Xavier Woods is on commentary and complaining about not being in the Rumble. Emma is dancing in the crowd again as Truth takes over with a shot to the back and a jumping shot to the head. Fandango rolls to the floor for a breather but Truth quickly follows, only to get distracted by Summer (no shame in that), allowing Fandango to run him over. Back in and Fandango grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before Truth comes back with some clotheslines. The suplex into a Stunner gets two and Little Jimmy connects for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D-. This was pretty awful for the most part and came off as nothing but filler. It wasn’t a long match or anything so it wasn’t that much torture to sit through, but I’m getting sick of these matches of guys with dancing gimmicks. I have no idea what the appeal is supposed to be of having guys with the same style working together but it’s a trope of wrestling.

Here’s Brad Maddox to introduce Randy Orton for his big speech. Orton says the champ is here and doesn’t care that people are calling it a hollow victory. Then he got to work this morning and found out he has to defend the title inside the Elimination Chamber. He asks Brad whose idea this was because he’s the face of the WWE, but here’s Batista to argue. Batista congratulates him for the win, but reminds Randy that he’s back to win the title at Wrestlemania.

Batista doesn’t care who he faces at Wrestlemania (including Bryan) because his goal is to be WWE Champion. On April 6, he doesn’t care who likes it because he’s walking out of Wrestlemania WWE Champion and nothing can change that. This brings out Brock Lesnar with something to say. Heyman introduces himself to Maddox and says that Brock’s patience is running thin. Tonight the Authority has two choices: have Orton defend the title against Lesnar tonight, or put Brock against Batista for the title shot at Wrestlemania. Either pick one, or else. Batista stares down Brock as Orton is ticked off.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s the Battle of Cleveland so they’re both in jerseys. Miz has new orange trunks and it’s a feeling out process to start. A headlock gives Miz control but he goes up top, only to dive into a dropkick for two. There’s a sleeper by Dolph as the announcers rip on Cleveland. Miz comes back with an uppercut for two and has to fight off the running DDT. Ziggler breaks up the Realiity Check but gets caught in the Figure Four. He FINALLY makes the rope so Miz goes back to it, only to be rolled up for two, followed by the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world but neither guy came out of it looking anymore more than average. It wasn’t a bad match, but it shows how much both guys are in need of something to do. They’re both just floating around at this point and it’s getting sad to see them like this.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Usos

The Goldberg chants start up because they’re still a thing. Jey ducks a forearm to start but gets driven into the corner over and over before bringing in Axel for his variety pack of stomping. A dropkick sends Jey into the ropes and Axel celebrates a bit before bringing in Ryback for a delayed vertical suplex. Jey gets in a few right hands but it’s quickly back to Axel for some chops in the corner.

Axel breaks up another hot tag attempt but Jimmy gets in a shot from the apron, allowing for the Twins to make a tag. Jimmy cleans house on Curtis with the referee pulling him out of the corner. The Samoan drop puts Axel down but Ryback comes in off a blind tag. He loads up Shell Shock on Jimmy but Jey superkicks him for the save. Quickly back to Jimmy and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 5:42.

Rating: C-. Another fine but uninspiring match. The Usos continue to look great but they need to win the titles at some point. They’ve been the same team for years now and it never seems to lead anywhere at all. Still though, good enough match here, even though they need to do something better soon.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

New gear for Kofi as well as he’s got long purple tights and white boots, making him look more like the Joker than anything else. Back and forth to start with Del Rio going for his strikes but Kofi coming back with his right hands in the corner. Del Rio kicks him down for two but misses a cahrge to send him outside, allowing Kofi to hit a suicide dive. Alberto comes back by kicking Kofi in the head on the way back in before sending him into the barricade for two.

A lot of standing around ensues but let’s stop for JBL to get a chant and a standing ovation. Alberto yells at him so there’s one for Lawler as well. Kofi is put on top but they both fall to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio in control after kicking Kofi in the head during the break. Kofi fights out of a chinlock with a jawbreaker and gets two off a sunset flip, only to get caught in a wicked German suplex for two.

Kingston comes back with a clothesline and some right hands but Del Rio hits him in the leg. A rollup gets two for Kofi but Del Rio bails to the apron to avoid Trouble in Paradise. The SOS gets two and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Alberto gets the same. Another Trouble in Paradise attempt misses and Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two. Alberto gets crotched on the top but comes back with something resembling a double stomp to the chest from the top. The low superkick is good for the pin on Kofi at 13:37.

Rating: C+. The match was good but I have no desire to see these two fight anymore. Unfortunately I have a bad feeling there’s going to be another two matches between the two on Smackdown and then Raw next week so they can have a rubber match. It’s not like WWE has any other fresh ideas for us.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The Outlaws are defending after winning the titles in a big surprise last night. Road Dogg actually quotes Selena Gomez before doing the full entrance, which is a full face version. Before the match, Roadie talks about becoming champions because they’re the best at what they do. This might hurt, but the Brothers just weren’t good enough last night. Cody and Goldust knock them to the floor before the bell and the Outlaws think they shouldn’t have to defend.

Gunn tells Goldust (not wearing gloves which is a weird look for him) to suck it to start, earning himself a clothesline and armdrag. Billy rolls to the floor where Road Dogg cools him down with JBL’s hat. Back in and Goldust chases Roadie into the corner where Dogg shouts about what’s going on here. Off to Cody who grabs a headlock on Dogg before loading up the moonsault press, sending Dogg to the floor for a breather.

Back in again and Cody puts on an armbar before it’s off to Goldust for the same. Billy comes back in and kicks Goldust’s head off as we go to a break. We come back with Goldust powerslamming Billy to put both guys down. Road Dogg comes in again but gets caught in a quick sunset bomb out of the corner for two, cutting his head open a bit as well. The hot tag brings in Cody who cleans house but misses the Disaster Kick, allowing Billy to clothesline him down for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to lay out Cody and Goldust for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The first part of the match was more strange than good with the Outlaws trying to hide instead of have the match. That’s fine for a story, but it was still very awkward, which seemed to be what they were going for. Not a bad match though and I can’t imagine the Outlaws holding the titles much longer.

Heyman says the Authority have picked Option 3, which is Lesnar has no match tonight. This is what happens when Lesnar doesn’t get what he wants, meaning the Rhodes Brothers get the chair treatment.

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka

Aksana and Cameron start with some catty yelling at each other before it’s off to the Bellas for dropkicks to the back. Off to Alicia who gets caught in a facebuster from Nikki but she comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The fans are silent for most of this. Off to AJ for the only reaction of the match and a chinlock.

A neckbreaker gets two on Nikki and it’s back to Aksana who is basically in a one piece purple swimsuit. Tamina comes in for a hard slam and a chinlock of her own before Nikki finally avoids a charge in the corner and Naomi comes in off the hot tag. Naomi comes in and jumps around a lot with her purple lipstick flying all over the place. The other six girls fight over a triple suplex until Naomi is able to pin AJ after the Rear View at 5:40.

Rating: D. This felt LONG and was the kind of Divas match that gets annoying in a hurry. First and foremost: Naomi looked ridiculous. She had on bright purple and gold with purple lipstick and looked more like she was going out for Halloween than being in a match. The Bellas continue to be the Bellas and everyone else sucked for the most part, leaving this as a very long nearly six minutes.

Video on the history of Wrestlemania show on the WWE Network.

Christian returns on Smackdown.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Sheamus vs. Shield

They have a lot of time for this and the winners go to the Chamber. Cena and Ambrose get things going as the dueling Cena chants begin. It’s quickly off to Rollins as Cole starts spouting off Rumble stats. Rollins grabs a quick headlock but Cena fights up and punches Seth in the mouth to take over. There’s the tag to Reigns and you can hear the fans get fired up. We even get a Roman Reigns chant.

Sheamus gets to face Reigns in a power vs. power match and the Irishman takes him down with a neckbreaker for two. Back to Rollins who gets kicked in the back to send him to the apron for the ten forearms. An Ambrose distraction lets Rollins take over on Sheamus before Dean comes in to stomp away legally. Shemaus comes right back with power to drag Dean into the corner for the tag off to Bryan. Daniel starts cleaning house with the kicks and a hurricanrana off the top gets two.

There’s the surfboard to pop the crowd a bit more before it’s back to Cena who charges into an elbow for two as we take our last break. Back with Rollins stomping away on Cena before getting two off a Blockbuster. Reigns hits a dropkick from the floor to the side of Cena’s head as it’s draped over the bottom rope to keep John in trouble. The Superman Punch knocks Cena down again and is treated like a signature spot. Cena sidesteps the spear and Reigns falls to the floor where he comes up limping.

It’s not too bad though as Reigns gets right back in and breaks up the tag before making a tag off to Ambrose. Dean stomps away and talks more trash before it’s back to Rollins for a double suplex for two. We hit the chinlock on Cena for a bit before a snap DDT is good for two for Ambrose. Cena hits an AA out of nowhere to set up the hot tag to Bryan, with Cole using the term YES Movement as the latest buzzword. Bryan fires off the kicks and FLYING Goat to Rollins before the YES Kicks are good for two.

Reigns comes back in with the spear to Bryan and Cena (Cena’s hit him in the knees) but Bryan dropkcisk Reigns down. Rollins tries a rollup on Bryan but Daniel is out at two. Bryan flips out of a German suplex but gets caught in a buckle bomb for two. Rollins hits a quick splash in the corner but misses the top rope knee. Bryan hits his own release German suplex but misses a running dropkick in the corner, allowing Seth to roll him up but Bryan counters into the YES Lock, only to have Ambrose make the save. There’s a Brogue Kick for Dean but Rollins takes Sheamus down with the knee to the head.

Bryan avoids another splash and a double crossbody puts both guys down again. Cena is up on the apron again and it’s hot tag to John and Reigns. Roman is quickly caught in the STF but he BREAKS CENA’S GRIP….as the Wyatts interrupt things. They show up on Cena and that’s a DQ to send Cena/Bryan/Sheamus to the Chamber at 24:00.

Rating: A-. Great six man here with everyone looking good and that Rollins vs. Bryan segment stealing the show. There was no way they couldn’t put Bryan in the Chamber after last night and it was either here or in one of the last two spots. This was great booking as everyone gets to look good and a lot of stories are advanced. Really good stuff here and the results they needed.

Shield throws a fit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It was a good show for the most part as things calmed down a lot. The crowd was nowhere near as big of a factor and that helped the show. Brock wanting in on the title scene heading into Elimination Chamber makes things very interesting as I could see Brock vs. Batista for the title shot at the PPV, which leaves a lot of doors open. I wouldn’t call tonight damage control, but they showed us that there are ways around the predicaments they’ve found themselves in. The wrestling tonight wasn’t great but it did what it needed to do to give us a solid show.

Results

Real Americans b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Neutralizer to Cara

R-Truth b. Fandango – Little Jimmy

Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag

Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Ryback

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Superkick

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. New Age Outlaws via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered

Bella Twins/Funkadactyls b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Tamina Snuka – Rear View to AJ

Sheamus/Daniel Bryan/John Cena b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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More In Depth Thoughts On The Rumble

So I’ve had a night to sleep on one of the most controversial shows I’ve ever seen. I didn’t have the chance to go as in depth as I wanted to with some of my thoughts last night because the Rumble is such a fast paced match. Let’s take a closer look the whole show in more of a rapid fire format.

 

First of all, the New Age Outlaws are the new Tag Team Champions. The more I think about this, the less I care for the idea. Yeah the Outlaws are on a nice reunion tour, but so were the Rhodes Brothers. Cody has the potential to become something important in the future, while the Outlaws are here for nostalgia and not much more. I get the idea of the Authority being corrupt and giving their friends title shots, but it doesn’t come off as cronyism when they won the title match clean.

 

Moving on to the actual show, the opening match was outstanding. That’s the kind of a win that Bray Wyatt needed because he’s the kind of character that is going to take a big hit when he loses his first big match. The win was good but the fact that it was one of the best openers in company history helped a lot.

 

Brock Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Seriously, the guy is just a beast and that F5 to Big Show had me screaming at my screen.

 

That brings us to what I thought was the bigger insult to the wrestlers of the night. John Cena vs. Randy Orton was a good match last night, but the fans treated it horribly. I understand that they wanted Daniel Bryan to be in the title picture, but it was incredibly rude to go off on those two because he wasn’t in there.

 

The worst part of it all: it was a good match. It’s true that Orton vs. Cena has been done several times and no one wanted to see this rematch, but the fans were chanting BORING less than 20 seconds in. If the mtch is actually boring then chant that, but don’t go off on it from the beginning. The stealing finishers stuff was good and thankfully it calmed the crowd down a bit, even though Orton went nuts several times out there.

 

One last thing about the match: John Cena continues to be an absolute master at working a crowd. Look back to the show in Portland (somewhere in the northwest at least) right before TLC when the fans chanted for Bryan throughout the Championship Celebration. Cena was smart enough to bring Bryan into his promo. Last night the fans were chanting for Y2J and Cena tried a Liontamer. The crowd immediately calmed down because they knew that someone was listenting to them and that’s all they wanted. It was still a very good match though.

 

That brings us to the ending of the match and its post match antics. It would seem that Cena’s Wrestlemania program is with the Wyatts and that’s good news all around. If there’s a better way to give Wyatt a big rub, I certainly can’t think of it. This is what the fans have been asking for: getting new stars to the top of the roster. Bray got the biggest win of his career last night and will now have the biggest match of his life ten weeks. It helps that Bray has shown he can have great matches and is more than just a great worker.

 

Now hopefully it’s just a singles match instead of turning it into a rumored tag match with Cena and Bryan teaming up against the Wyatts. Daniel is at the point where he doesn’t need a rub like that and we don’t want the Cena vs. Wyatt match stolen by fans who want to see something completely different from Bryan.

 

So that brings us to the big one of the evening and we’ll start from the beginning.

 

CM Punk was the Rumble’s Iron Man and I don’t think most people noticed. Punk spent a long stretch of the match laying around and waiting to get to the final four before Kane eliminated him in a very quick scene that didn’t have the impact they were hoping for. Kane vs. Punk at Elimination Chamber should be good but it felt like they were rushing to get to that moment last night and it took away from Punk’s Rumble performance. Good, but not memorable night for Punk last night.

 

The same can be said for Rollins and Ambrose. Both guys were in the Rumble for a long time but neither did anything all that special. The most interesting thing was Dean trying to throw out Reigns, but you could easily write that off by just saying it was trying to win the Rumble. I’d be fine if that’s what they did, but it feels like another seed being planted for the big Reigns face turn.

 

Alexander Rusev had a good debut and looked like a monster. I wish he had gotten to throw some people out, but having five or so people combine to eliminate him was a nice touch. He’s the kind of guy that would have been headlining house shows against Hogan back in 1986 and his NXT matches have all been good. He’ll be a force if given some time and it looks like his first program is with Kofi, who he’s traded wins with in NXT.

 

As for Kofi, his running jump back to the apron last night was a nice change of pace from the last few years worth of saves. More often than not they’ve been creative or clever, but this one was all about Kofi showing off how athletic he is. It was awesome looking and that’s all it was supposed to be.

 

Dolph Ziggler returned. It’s over.

 

Kevin Nash was a surprise so let’s look at all of the legends/comedy characters at once. It was a lighter year for these guys this time with only a handful of appearances. Nash was Nash, El Torito was there as a comedy segment (for the love of all things good and holy, don’t let this start Horny vs. Chavo II with Torito and Fandango), and then there’s JBL. While it was a fine idea, Cole saying “this is the first time the JBL character has appeared in the Rumble” made me groan. I know kayfabe is dead, but don’t pummel its corpse. Also the lack of Jake Roberts surprised me.

 

I’ll save Reigns and Batista for later.

 

Sheamus also returned last night and you can see the same problems that plagued him during his last year: he’s in severe need for a story. At the moment, Sheamus is just a strong guy who kicks people in the head. He hasn’t had the slightest bit of adversity or problems since he was World Heavyweight Champion. That makes for a very uninteresting character and not something that is going to carry Sheamus much further. Give us a reason to care about Sheamus the person, not Sheamus the fighter.

 

On a more positive note: that’s three straight final threes in the Rumble for Sheamus. Him being successful in the Rumble fits his fighter character really well, just like it did with Austin. Little things like that are when you can tell the writers are actually paying attention and it’s very nice to see.

 

Miz had a nice showing last night as well. If you let him show some aggression and stop with the stupid Figure Four stuff (that’s been going on for over a year now), there’s still hope for that guy.

 

Del Rio was just there and thankfully it doesn’t look like he’ll be doing anything of note for awhile.

 

I watched last year’s Rumble for the redos and it’s astounding how far Ryback has fallen in just a year. He came in at #30 in 2013 and destroyed the world before being in a showdown with Cena. Now he’s a midcard comedy act and little more. There’s still hope for him, but it’s not as a heel.

 

Big E. Langston was the worst disappointment to me last night. He came in, eliminated no one, and basically did nothing in his entire time in the Rumble. I’m still very high on the guy but he needs to have a good night soon to make up for that. Obviously it’s not all on him, but the Usos had better performances in the Rumble than Langston did.

 

I feel very sorry for Rey Mysterio. He could have been Santa Claus with a bag full of Corvettes for the crowd and would have been the biggest disappointment of the entire night. Anybody in that spot not named Bryan was going to be booed last night and it’s not Mysterio’s fault at all.

 

That brings us to the important stuff of the match last night. First off, Roman Reigns is getting the push that people have been expecting him to get for a long time (time for a little bragging: I’ve said he would be the biggest star out of the three since the beginning) and breaking Kane’s record was a big step towards that. Keep in mind that Reigns came in at #15 and Kane came in at #6 when he set the old record and the twelve eliminations last night are even more impressive. More on Reigns later.

 

Now it’s time to get to the most controversial guy in the Rumble: Big Dave Batista. I think I’m one of the few who sees it this way, but Batista was find as the Rumble winner. Yeah he’s been back for six days, but he was a big deal when he left and it’s not like he pinned someone to win the thing. Batista came back at the wrong time due to the whole Bryan fiasco. If this was any other year, people wouldn’t mind nearly as much. No he’s not in the same shape as he was in before, but give him more than ten minutes in the Rumble to get back to form. Also for people criticizing his spear, he was never good at that move. Why should he be now?

 

And now, for the Daniel Bryan situation. I don’t think people were saying he had to win or else. It wasn’t that Bryan didn’t win the Rumble, but that he wasn’t even in it. If Bryan was in the Rumble, got down to say the final three or even four before being screwed out of the match, it would have been a FAR better reaction. As a very smart guy named Barbosa said on WrestleZone last night:

 

Pardon me and the thousands of others for having some expectation of the hottest act being put in a position to win the Royal Rumble.”

That sums it up as well as anything else could. Bryan didn’t need to win, but he needed to place or show. The crowd knew what they wanted last night and did not care what else they were going to get as a consolation. As I said in the review, I’ve never seen a crowd just turn on a match as fast as they did when Mysterio’s music hit. They did not care to see anyone but Bryan and they made that very clear in a few seconds.

This brings me to the reception the show received. I’ve seen people calling it the worst show the company ever produced and that just makes me laugh. First and foremost, Wyatt vs. Bryan was more than enough to make it an acceptable show. Also listen to the crowd for the entire Rumble up to Mysterio’s music hitting. They’re totally into the match and care about everything going on, but that one moment changes everything. It’s a great show with a bad last fifteen minutes, not a horrible show at all.

Oh and one more thing which unfortunately I can’t take credit for. Picture this:

#30 hits and Daniel Bryan’s music plays.

I’m afraid I’ve got some BAD NEWS for you all. Daniel Bryan isn’t in the Royal Rumble but BAD NEWS BARRETT IS!”

He would be a made man for years.

So now let’s look at what we should have on tap for Mania.

Punk vs. HHH. Obvious before the Rumble and even more confirmed now.

It would seem that we’re getting Orton vs. Batista, but for the life of me I can’t picture that being the main event or even for the title. I’m not sure what replaces it yet, but if that’s for the title then they’ll be lucky if the fans don’t set the ring on fire.

Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Should be awesome, though there’s a chance it’ll be Cena/Bryan vs. the Wyatt Family, which doesn’t blow my skirt up.

That leaves us with four men who now need Wrestlemania matches and I think we get the following matches out of it:

Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns.

Can you imagine the David vs. Goliath story with Bryan fighting back against Lesnar’s power? Punk made a great match out of it and Bryan can do the same. That would placate the audience well enough in New Orleans I believe.

Roman Reigns is as perfect of a Wrestlemania opponent as you could have for Undertaker. He’s been built up as a record breaker with the Survivor Series (he tied it there but it’s the same idea) and then last night with Kane’s Rumble record, so why not go after the biggest record of them all? Picture Reigns hitting the spear and Undertaker kicking out at the last second or Reigns Superman Punching his way out of the chokeslam. It would be an epic showdown.

Overall it was a very good show but the booking was questionable at best and horrendous at worst. The good thing coming out of it is the number ten, as in how many weeks we have until Wrestlemania. There’s a lot of time to fix the problems shown last night and I have confidence that they’ll fix things instead of letting Wrestlemania be hijacked by the fans. Bryan doesn’t have to be in the title match, but if they put him out there with Cena or against Sheamus, there’s going to be a very big problem that they brought entirely on themselves.

 

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Royal Rumble 2014: The Night The Crowd Died

Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Tonight marks the official start of the Road to Wrestlemania. We’re ten weeks away from the biggest show of the year and barring some surprising changes, the main event will be set in place tonight. The odds on favorite for the Rumble would seem to be Batista, but for the life of me I can’t imagine anyone but Daniel Bryan winning it. He isn’t entered yet, but there are about ten slots left open. Give him a late number and listen to the roof blow off the place. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.

Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.

The opening video focuses on a countdown and how the Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight.

We recap Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt. Daniel joined the Wyatt Family a few weeks ago but only lasted two weeks in the group before turning on Bray in the huge face turn, despite him barely ever being a heel. Tonight is the showdown we’ve been waiting for.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

The Family is with Bray here, despite the idea of the match being that they’re not supposed to be here. Daniel fires off kicks to the leg and takes Bray down with a running knee but Bray gets in a shot of his own to take over. The Wyatts get in a few blows of their own and are ejected, with Bray saying he doesn’t need them to fight this war. Back in and Daniel gets in some kicks to the leg and a high cross body for two, only to be sent to the floor. Bray misses a charge into the steps and injures his knee again, giving Bryan the opening he’s been needing.

Daniel hooks something resembling an Indian Deathlock before stomping Bray’s face into the mat for two. They slug it out on the apron with the fans chanting YES/NO in time. Bray headbutts Daniel to stagger him and wrings his arm down onto the apron to take over. Back in and Bray is in serious mode now. We hit the chinlock but Daniel quickly fights up with forearms, only to be backdropped to the floor.

The annoying fans chant Jerry Lawler as Bray rams Daniel’s head into the post and drives in forearms for good measure. A running senton backsplash has Daniel in even more trouble and Bray asks the fans why they don’t help him. Bray catapults Daniel throat first into the ropes and we hit another chinlock. Wyatt does his spider walk out of the corner and the announcers of course laugh at Linda Blair jokes. He stays on Daniel’s neck with another chinlock but Daniel gets in a shot to the head and shakes the ropes before firing off even more strikes.

A drop toehold sends Bray into the middle buckle and there are the YES Kicks to the chest and leg. Daniel hooks a hurricanrana from the middle rope to send the big man flying but he’s out at two. Now the fans are into it by saying this is awesome and there’s the moonsault in the corner. Daniel loads up the clothesline but thankfully Bray knows what’s coming and hits a running elbow to stop Bryan’s comeback.

Bray misses a charge and falls to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit a running tornado DDT off the apron. Awesome looking move. There’s the running dropkick to knock Bray into the barricade and the missile dropkick puts him down back inside. Now the real YES Kicks have Bray in even more trouble as the fans are going nuts. The big kick to the head gets two and Daniel loads up the running dropkicks in the corner but Bray clotheslines him inside out for a very near fall.

Sister Abigail is countered into a rollup for two and there’s the YES Lock but Bray bites the hand for the break. Bray’s superplex is countered with headbutts and Daniel hits a top rope splash to crush Wyatt. Daniel loads up the running knee but Bray bails to the floor. Bryan dives at him with the FLYING GOAT but Bray catches him in midair and hits a wicked Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail connects for the pin at 21:37.

Rating: A. Well that was awesome. This was a good example of a match where both guys could look great and only one could win. Daniel losing here isn’t a bad thing as he could still come back later and win the Rumble to make up for this. Both guys look better coming out of this and Bray was the one that needed the win more. As soon as he loses, a lot of his mystique is gone. Outstanding match here and something Bray needed.

The expert panel (HBK, Flair, Duggan) are impressed. Shawn seems fine after his fight with Bryan a few weeks ago.

Paul Heyman says Brock wants a title shot and talks about how great Big Show is. It doesn’t matter though as Brock is going to destroy him and then take over the WWE.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show doesn’t like Lesnar and is tired of him being a bully so tonight he’s standing up to him. He also stuffed a Lesnar takedown attempt on Raw earlier this week to show how strong he was.

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

For once this is under regular rules. Brock takes him down before the bell like an MMA fight and just mauls Big Show before blasting him over and over with a chair. More chair shots put Show on the mat as Jerry butchers history, saying Big Show gave Brock his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble (it was the 2002 Survivor Series). Show is beaten down even more with chair shot after chair shot. The bell still hasn’t rung.

The referee runs from Brock and Big Show says ring the bell. Brock comes at him with the chair but walks into the KO Punch which knocks Lesnar silly. He rolls to the floor and Big Show throws him around with ease. Back in and Brock ducks another KO Punch and gets caught in the F5. Lesnar WALKS AROUND WITH BIG SHOW ON HIS SHOULDERS and hits the biggest F5 you’ll ever see, making it more like an AA, for the pin at 2:05.

Post match Brock destroys him with even more chair shots, each one louder than the last. He bends two chairs over Show’s back so he goes to get a third and beats on Show’s leg. Show is left in a heap after what was much more of a segment than a match.

The Shield won’t tell each other their numbers. Rollins says the only number that matters is three.

Randy Orton says he’ll beat John Cena tonight and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young mentions Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt wanting title shots. Orton: “Bray Wyatt? He’s a Duck Dynasty reject.” The crowd laughs as Orton says it’s not John Cena’s night.

We get a LONG recap of John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Randy beat him at TLC for the Undisputed Title in a TLC match but tonight it’s one fall with no stipulations. On top of that Orton attacked Cena’s father a few weeks ago on Raw to make it personal.

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

We’re ready to go after the big match intros. The fans chant for Daniel Bryan and then that the match is boring. Cena takes him down with a headscissors and the chant shifts to the usual dueling Cena chants. Orton grabs a headlock and suplexes Cena down as the chants go to WE WANT ANGLE and Randy Savage. There’s a Y2J chant…..AND CENA TRIES FOR A LIONTAMER! It shifts the chants to Undertaker as Orton suplexes Cena back inside for two.

The fans think it’s boring as we’re in a chinlock less than five minutes into the match. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as the crowd is restless again. Back to the Bryan chant and Orton actually shouts that he’s the champion and not Bryan. A nice DDT puts Cena down for two and the fans think both guys suck. Cena comes back with an electric chair for two and the shoulder blocks followed by the ProtoBomb. Orton counters the Shuffle with the powerslam but Cena comes back with his half nelson slam into a neckbreaker for two of his own.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but first has to block a superplex attempt before connecting for two. Orton throws him to the apron but Cena backdrops him to the floor to counter the Elevated DDT. The crowd has calmed down a bit now. Orton comes right back with the Elevated DDT on the floor and holds a finger to his ear for the crowd. Back inside and the RKO is countered into the STF as the crowd just does not care, probably because they know a title match isn’t ending less than fifteen minutes in.

Randy crawls over to the rope and gets in a shot to the head for a breather on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs another ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle but Orton grabs the rope to block the AA. The referee gets bumped and there’s the STF, making Randy tap but there’s no referee. Randy hits him in the face with the belt for two as the doctor revives the referee.

The fans think this is awful as an AA gets two for John. An RKO gets the same and the fans still don’t buy that the match is ending yet. Orton poses as the fans say they want Divas. With nothing else to do, Orton puts Cena in the STF but Cena is quickly out and has Orton in a Crossface. That’s countered into a rollup for two and Orton hits an AA (done more like Cena used to do it without going down) for two more.

Cena of course hits an RKO for two of his own before loading up the middle rope AA, only to have Orton get free pretty quickly. A tornado DDT puts Orton down and sets up the STF in the middle of the ring….and cue the Wyatts. Cena chases them off but walks into the RKO for the pin at 20:53. Orton was surprised by the Wyatts being there.

Rating: B. The worst part about the crowd: the match was good. Trading finishers was something new for these guys, which is impressive as they’ve had about a dozen matches on PPV alone. The Wyatts interfering would seem to set up Cena vs. Wyatt at Mania, which is interesting to say the least. Good stuff here, as the show continues to rock.

Cena is destroyed as Orton bails. Bray hits Sister Abigail after shouting BEHOLD THE CREATORS OF THE NEW WORLD.

The New Age Outlaws tell Renee Young to put some more onto their intro. We look at the end of the preshow match and it’s a new record for longest time between title reigns at 14 years. They have two words for Renee: new champs.

We even get old school Rumble promos!

Miz will do whatever it takes to headline Wrestlemania again.

The Usos say only one can win and go to Wrestlemania.

Langston is ready.

Fandango wants to go to the Big Dance.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Sandow says insanity means trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. He won’t make them again.

Ryback says his unlimited energy takes him to Wrestlemania.

Rey Mysterio says he’ll shock the world again.

Back to the expert panel. Shawn picks Shield or Punk. Flair picks Batista. Duggan picks…..Dolph Ziggler?

Royal Rumble

90 second entrants this year and it’s Punk at #1 and Rollins at #2. Punk takes him back into the corner to start but Rollins puts him onto the top, only to be elbowed in the head. Punk comes back with strikes but Rollins just punches him into the face. A kick to Seth’s ribs slows him down but he avoids a big kick to the face and hits a running dropkick. There’s a running forearm in the corner but Punk comes back with the running knee. He calls for the GTS but gets caught by an enziguri. Punk kicks him in the face and both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3.

Sandow goes right for Punk as Rollins gets a breather. Punk gets double teamed but comes back with a neckbreaker to Rollins/DDT to Sandow combo to put both guys down. He tries to throw Rollins out but Sandow breaks it up. Cody Rhodes is in at #4, meaning people from earlier in the night can be in as well. He hits a quick Cross Rhodes on Damien but Seth prevents an elimination. Sandow charges at Punk and is backdropped out to get us back to three.

Rollins gets double teamed but Kane is #5, wrestling in black dress pants. He goes right after Punk and stomps him down in the corner before hitting a nice side slam. Punk blocks the chokeslam with a high kick and throws Kane out with relative ease. Alexander Rusev, a Bulgarian monster from NXT, is in at #6. He immediately starts cleaning house but only throws Cody and Rollins to the apron. Alexander picks up Punk and throws him around with a fallaway slam and it’s Jack Swagger at #7.

Jack charges to the ring and hits a quick Vader Bomb on Rollins and Cody as the ring is filling up a bit. We get a showdown between Rusev and Swagger and the fans chant USA. Rusev takes over with a clothesline and a charge in the corner but Rollins takes Alexander’s leg out and it’s a triple team with everyone not named Punk stomping the Bulgarian. The fans are WAY into this.

Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and you can feel the big save coming. He rolls into the ring and immediately punches Punk down but can’t throw him out. Cody hits the Disaster Kick on Swagger as Kofi goes after Rusev, who he’s been feuding with in NXT. Swagger has Rollins upside down in the corner but can’t get him out. Jimmy Uso is in at #9 and hits a quick Bubba Bomb on Rollins and gets in shots on everyone else. Punk headbutts Jimmy and we get some good old fashioned racial sterotypes as it has no effect.

Goldust is in at #10, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Rusev, Swagger and Uso. He takes Rollins down with some right hands and hits the kneeling uppercut on Jimmy. Rusev punches the paint off Goldie’s face to stop his momentum and eveyrone gangs up on Alexander again. We need some eliminations here. A big group of about five people get Rusev out in a showing that could have gone longer.

Kofi is knocked to the apron and into Rusev’s arms, so he lays him on the barricade and drives knees into Kingston’s back. Kofi stands up on the barricade and tightropes across before jumping ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE APRON in an incredible athletic display. Ambrose (coming through the entrance) is in at #11. He goes right for Kofi and then Punk as Swagger is in big trouble but gets back inside. Things slow down a bit as Goldust slides back in under the ropes. Dolph Ziggler returns at #12.

Ziggler speeds things up by pounding on everyone but is put on the apron in just a few seconds. The ring is really getting full as we need a monster to clear it out. Instead we get R-Truth at #13 but is double teamed by the two Shield members. They toss him to the apron and Ambrose kicks him out with ease. Jimmy goes up but gets kicked in the head, allowing Ambrose to shove him out as well. Kofi is on the apron but has to block a boot from Swagger. He holds onto it so long that he’s literally hanging in by his feet and pulls Jack’s boot off.

Kevin Nash of all people is in at #14, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Nash, Ziggler, Ambrose, Goldust, Swagger, Rhodes and Kingston. Nash puts out Swagger as soon as he gets in but has to deal with Shield. Things slow down again and it’s Roman Reigns in at #15 to put the entire Shield in the match. There’s a spear to Cody and a headbutt to Nash’s chest. Roman catches Trouble in Paradise and throws Kofi out but shrugs off the Zig Zag and hits a GREAT spear on Ziggler for a quick elimination.

Nash is low bridged out by Reigns as well as the ring is rapidly emptying out. Goldust and Cody go after Reigns but Rollins makes a save. Great Khali is in at #16 and Shield is on him as he comes in. The giant shoves all of them down but a Superman Punch knocks him into the ropes, allowing all three of them to put Khali out. Goldust, Punk and Rhodes pair off with the three guys but Cody is sent to the floor, only to be accidentally knocked out by his brother. Reigns dumps Goldust and we’re down to Punk vs. Shield.

Things even up a lot as Sheamus returns at #17. Shield is right on him but the pale one fights them off and gets them all in different corners. There are the ten forearms to Ambrose’s chest with the last one being to the exposed chest. An Irish Curse puts Rollins down and a Brogue Kick knocks Reigns silly. Sheamus stands tall but Reigns is dead weight. Rollins and Ambrose double team Sheamus and it’s Miz at #18, giving us Shield, Punk, Sheamus and Miz.

Everyone pairs off again but they all wind up in one corner. Punk has been down for a long time now but is likely just getting a breather. The clock is going very fast tonight as Fandango is in at #19. Shield swarms Sheamus as Fandango goes after Miz. Punk is still down in the corner. The fans want Daniel Bryan but get El Torito at #20. As in the little guy in the white bull costume.

Naturally he beats up a few guys but Punk gives him a look that channels Miz by saying “really?” Punk grabs him by the head but gets caught in a freaking hurricanrana. Fandango runs him over (JBL: “PETA is going to be mad. I head Mantaur is his grandfather.”) but gets hurricanranaed to the apron and dropkicked out by the bull. Torito dives on Reigns like an idiot though and is LAUNCHED onto Fandango for his sixth elimination. We’re back to Miz, Sheamus and Punk vs. Shield.

Cesaro is in at #21 and picks Miz up for a quick Cesaro Swing. Punk gets one as well but Rollins and Ambrose break it up. Cesaro rams them into each other and swings Rollins until it’s Luke Harper at #22. Reigns spears Cesaro down as things slow again. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out and Jey Uso is in at #23, giving us Shield, Sheamus, Miz, Jey, Punk, Cesaro and Harper. Speaking of Cesaro and Harper, they have a big power slugout with Harper kicking Cesaro’s head off to take over.

JBL of all people is in at #24 to a BIG pop and comes in wearing a full suit and tie. He yells at Cole to come take his coat, allowing Reigns to throw him out with ease. That’s #7 for Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 and teams up with Harper to dump Miz, leaving us Shield, the Wyatt Family, Miz, Punk, Sheamus, Cesaro and Jey Uso. Jey is kicked out by Harper and Shield stares down the Wyatts as Ryback is in at #26. Everyone brawls and Alberto Del Rio is #27.

Nothing much happens until Batista is in for the big cleanup spot at #28. He’s in very short shorts instead of trunks but still looks good. He clotheslines Rowan out and it’s showdown time with Ryback. They slug it out and Cesaro has to dive out of the way of a launched Batista. Ryback is backdropped out by Big Dave but Del Rio clips Batista and kicks him in the head. Batista easily picks Alberto up and tosses him out though, right before Big E. Langston is in at #29.

Langston starts with a nice belly to belly on Batista and a series of backbreakers to Sheamus. The fans start chanting YES as the clock is ticking down. #30 is…….Rey Mysterio, completely letting the air out of the arena. The final group is Punk, Shield, Harper, Sheamus, Cesaro, Mysteiro, Langston and Batista. Rey and Rollins try to eliminate each other but neither go out. Sheamus knocks out Langston to get us down to ten but the fans just do not care now.

Rollins tosses Mysterio to a pop because he’s not who the fans wanted to see. Rollins and Ambrose stomp Sheamus down in the corner and get Harper to the apron but Reigns Superman Punches him out. Ambrose tries to get rid of Reigns but can’t quite do it, triggering an argument. Cesaro goes after both of them so Reigns dumps Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose, which ties Kane’s record of eleven. His reward is a spinebuster as we’re down to four: Punk, Batista, Sheamus and Reigns.

Make that three as Kane comes in and pulls Punk out before chokeslamming him through the table. The final three are Reigns, Batista and Sheamus who are all down as the fans chant for Mysterio. Everyone slowly gets back up and the fans boo this out of the building. This would be Sheamus’ third straight final three by the way. Batista breaks up a spear to Sheamus as the NO chants begin. Sheamus rewards him with the Regal Roll but Batista ducks the Brogue Kick.

A backdrop puts Sheamus on the apron and Reigns dumps him for the record at 12 eliminations. Batista thinks he dumps Reigns but Roman slides back in as we’re down to two. Roman unzips the vest and stares Batista down as the fans are somewhat into this. They slug it out with Reigns taking over but Batista comes back with a spear. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Reigns here as he spears Batista right back. He’s all fired up….but Batista easily throws him out for the win at 55:10, letting the air out of the arena again.

Rating: B. It was a really good Rumble, but man alive if that crowd reaction doesn’t change something, nothing is going to. I’ve been watching wrestling my entire life and I have never ever heard a crowd just go silent like they did when Mysterio came out. I mean they just DIED. Batista was destined to win this thing, even though he was the completely wrong pick. Reigns looks like a STAR here but needed the win to cement it. Batista just was not the right pick here, but you knew it was coming the entire time.

The fans are not pleased as a lot of fireworks go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Very ticked off crowd to say the least, this was an outstanding show. Everything was either good to excellent with only the world title match being a step below the rest. Raw tomorrow night is going to be VERY interesting as they’re either going to change a lot of stuff or have the worst crowd reaction to a Wrestlemania of all time. I had an awesome night with this show, but Batista should not have gotten that win, period.

I’ll have more in depth thoughts and analysis on the Rumble tomorrow after it’s had a better chance to process.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail

Brock Lesnar b. Big Show – F5

Randy Orton b. John Cena – RKO

Batista won the Royal Rumble, last eliminating Roman Reigns

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