Today doesn’t have the best options so you get a double shot: Chris Masters and the Bushwhackers due to Luke’s birthday.

We’ll start with the older of the two. Luke Williams is of course one half of the Bushwhackers who got their start as the bloodthirsty team known as the Sheepherders. Their most famous match was at the 1986 Crockett Cup Tag Team Tournament against the Fantastics, though the full version doesn’t exist on video as far as I know.

Crockett Cup Quarter-Finals: Sheepherders vs. Fantastics

Big brawl to start and the Fantastics clear the ring. Clipped to Butch hammering on Fulton until the Fantastics dropkick everything in sight to send them to the floor. Clipped to Butch hammering on Fulton. I’ve seen this before it seems. Out to the floor for more dropkicking and it turns into a brawl. Fulton is beaten down on the floor and can barely move. Rodgers is ticked off because of it.

Clipped to Luke beating on Fulton but the flag bearer messes up, resulting in Luke going into the flag. There’s the hot tag to Rodgers and Butch is busted open. The cameraman and referee are taken out and now Fulton is busted as well. The flag bearer tries to cheat again and one more time it doesn’t work. The future Wackers get the flag stick in the ring and beat on Fulton with it but as is the case in wrestling, they get beat on with it as well. Another referee comes down to wake up the first and it’s another double DQ. That means the Road Warriors are in the finals as well.

Rating: B. Meltzer gave THIS five stars? It’s a fun brawl and WAY violent for its time, but the clipping must have killed it because this wasn’t a classic or anything resembling one. It’s good and the most fun match on the show so far, but if the full version was 15 minutes, this was the low half of it. My mind continues to be blown by his ratings at times as this is one of the matches better than Savage vs. Steamboat? Really?

The team would stick around the NWA for a few more years before jumping to the WWF, where they were mainly used as a comedy team that feuded with the Rougeau Brothers, including a match at Wrestlemania V.

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

ALL AMERICAN BOYS BABY! That would be the Rougeau’s theme song and one of the most awesome entrances in company history. Seriously, go Youtube that thing. Jimmy Hart loses his jacket somehow but the Rougeaus save it in a humane act. Not that it matters as the Bushwhackers clear the ring a second later. Luke and Ray start things off and Ray quickly takes him down. I turn my head for a minute and come back to hearing Jesse say “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” Like I said, commentary was a bit different back then.

Luke and Butch clear the ring of Rougeaus again before it’s down to Luke and Jacques. Butch tries to interfere for no apparent reason and Luke gets caught in a Boston Crab. In a sequence that has haunted me for years, Ray loads up Luke for a slam and while Luke is upside down, he rubs Ray’s crotch. There’s nothing more to it than that and to this day I don’t know why he did that.

Anyway Ray puts on an abdominal stretch as a fan or two chants USA. In theory that would be for the Rougeaus here who are the All American Boys facing the guys from New Zealand. The Rougeaus prematurely hug and get caught by the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster is good for the pin on Ray out of nowhere.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match and not a very fun one. This is called a big upset but I don’t really see how you can call it that. It’s not like either team is great or even good here and the Bushwhackers were still brand new here, so presumably they had won most of their matches up to this point. I don’t get it but whatever.

Even though they were a comedy team, the Bushwhackers did get the occasional tag title shot, such as this one against the Nasty Boys at Saturday Night’s Main Event #29.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Nastys’ first major defense since winning the belts from the Hart Foundation at Wrestlemania 7. Brian pounds away on Luke in the corner but Luke comes back and scares Knobbs into the corner. Some shoulders in the corner have Luke in trouble but everything breaks down with the Bushwhackers taking over. The Nastys are sent to the floor for some regrouping before we get down to Sags vs. Butch. Sags gets kneed in the chest and a double clothesline gets two as everything breaks down again.

A pair of Battering Rams send the Nastys to the floor and the challengers strut a bit. Things settle down and Luke gets elbowed over and over for two. Butch breaks up a cover and gets a hot tag to clean house on the champions. Knobbs gets two off a clothesline and everything breaks down yet again. We get a botched near fall with Butch being thrown onto Knobbs but Sags is late breaking up the pin. Knobbs double legs Luke and Sags adds a bit of leverage for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was horrible quality but keep in mind that this was a TV special before the idea of top level weekly wrestling became a big deal. The Bushwhackers were as fun of a team as you could ask for and the fans always got into them. It’s not a good match or anything but the crowd liked it.

We’ll wrap up the team with an entry from perhaps the worst show ever: Heroes of Wrestling.

Bushwackersvs. NikolaiVolkoff/IronSheik

I’m calling them the Bushwackers as they’re Luke and Butch, formerly the Bushwackers. There’s some guy with Volkoff but he’s another guy that is imitating a better manager. I’m just not sure who he’s imitating. We get the USA chant going, despite the faces being from New Zealand but this isn’t the smartest crowd in the world.

The manager is dressed up in a Russian military uniform. Oh dear. He speaks English with a so bad it’s funny but the show is so bad it’s not funny accent if that makes sense. Oh and Volkoff is now an Olympian also. We get the Russian National Anthem of course and the Persian clubs which are as old school as possible.

The clubs become Iranian all of a sudden and we’re three minutes into this. Sheik needs to humble someone. It would be more entertaining. We hear about Hogan and Backlund for no reason at all but whatever. That’s my word for this show: whatever. We’re at about 5 minutes of build for this disaster. I guess Bushwackers is a copyrighted term.

Somehow they look better than anyone else. Luke licked my face once. Can we get the tape of the Bushwackers on Family Matters instead of me having to watch this atrocity? Apparently they’ve won tag titles in 26 countries. Well ok then. The heels jump them early to start to further establish that they’re EVIL. Dutch explains the term short end of the stick which has some kind of scale according to him. Please, just take me now.

Sheik gets on the mic and says if they keep chanting USA then he’ll leave. You know what comes next. The announcers argue about cutting each other off. I hate this show quite a bit. They’re really trying to get this whole they’re Heroes thing embedded in. Can we just watch Heroes instead? Just the first season though as it’s by far the best. Sheik is wearing shorts also.

The kicks they’re throwing aren’t even close at all. How much are these guys being paid? I guarantee you it’s too much. After a “slam” Nikolai covers Luke and Butch comes in for the save. He doesn’t need to though as Nikolai reacts to the saving shot before it hits so there we are again.

The camel clutch, which made British Bulldog tap inside of 5 seconds in 1986 is on for 15 seconds before Butch saves. At least I think he saved as we cut to a shot of the manager so for all I know Butch just did the Charleston for awhile and Sheik didn’t like his movement and showed him what to do. Who knows though?

I do however know that the manager raised his right arm. You can hear individual lines from the fans by the way. And I mean individual conversations, not just random screams. ANOTHER foreign object misses and Luke pins Sheik with the fastest count this side of Nick Patrick gets the three. The heels almost fight afterwards but they hug it out.

Rating: G+. That’s below an F-. This was stupid and bad. I think it was a comedy match but I couldn’t tell. They did manage to name the heel team The Iron Curtain though which I can’t believe no one got that before. We’re half done with this and I want to cry. Or die, either one. Getting humbled wouldn’t be bad either. When the Bushwackers are the best workers in there, that’s not saying a lot at all.

Overall the Bushwhackers were perfectly fine for what they were in the WWF: a comedy act to give the kids something fun. Luke even licked my face at a house show once which is one of those things you just don’t forget no matter what. They were the polar opposites as the Sheepherders and got to show more of their talents with the original gimmick.

Moving on to Chris Masters. If there’s ever been a guy only known for one thing, this is it. That’s a shame too as the guy had some actual talent. He would starts in OVW as part of a team with Brent Albright before debuting on Raw doing his Masterlock Challenge. The idea was simple: break his full nelson and get cash. His first major feud was against Shawn Michaels, culminating in a match at Unforgive 2005.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters

Masters is undefeated here. Shawn does his in ring entrance but Masters grabs him in the Masterlock (full nelson) before the bell rings. See, why don’t more people get that idea? The bell rings and Shawn counters this time. Shawn takes over and dives to the floor, hitting a bunch of right hands after a plancha connects. Masters is sent into the steps as the idea is he’s shaken up from never being tested before.

Shawn grabs a chair but gets it taken away, allowing Masters to get a shot in to take over. Masters is put into a powerbomb position and rammed back first into the post twice. Back in the ring Masters takes over and drops a leg for two. A delayed vertical gets two. Michaels can’t get anything going because of his back and the power of Masters. Off to a backbreaker but Masters holds Shawn over the knee for a submission attempt.

Shawn tries a crucifix but Masters counters into a full nelson attempt. Instead here’s a torture rack and the referee goes old school by checking the arm. Shawn counters into a sunset flip for two. Masters is bleeding from the nose. Here’s the Masterlock but Shawn goes rudo and kicks Masters low while he’s got the referee distracted. A slugout is won by HBK and there’s the forearm (called the Flying Burrito by JR) followed by the nipup.

The top rope elbow hits and it’s time to stomp the mat loudly to let my opponent know that his finisher is coming. Like clockwork Masters ducks and hooks the Masterlock. Shawn fights to the corner and gets over the top rope somehow, forcing a break. Masters tries the hold again but Shawn escapes and there’s the superkick for the pin. Shawn collapsing after getting the pin is always a nice touch.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as Shawn does his usual stuff but still pulls out a good match. He knew timing, which is what so many wrestlers have no clue about. He knew how to make his comebacks mean stuff and played everything to perfection. Good stuff which you never see from most young guys because it’s not important to learn in the eyes of the trainers today.

Masters would stay near the top of the card and get a world title shot at New Year’s Revolution 2006 inside the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kane

Naturally it takes forever to get to this match but less time than last year which is at least a plus. Cena of course gets a lot of boos. This wasn’t even the most hated that he would ever get. He starts with Shawn. Cena isn’t ready to do that yet so this is nowhere near what it sounds like. Just 18 minutes between the ending of the last “match” and the bell in this one. The fans are ALL OVER Cena here.

The Chamber really does look awesome to say the least. Cena can sell really well. Kane comes in last due to winning a Beat the Clock Challenge. He’s the odds on favorite. That’s most amusing. In third is Carlito. He means nothing at this point either and no one really knew why he was in this. Nothing at all happens here other than some potential alliances. Finally Angle comes in to wake the crowd up by suplexing the living tar out of everyone in the freaking match.

Styles saying Angle is all impact amuses me. I mean he must throw everyone 4-5 times each. I have never seen anyone wake a match up like Angle did. Shawn is busted after being thrown into one of the cells. Good night Angle throws a pretty suplex. I mean Angle is just completely dominating. He gets the ankle lock on Shawn and then on Carlito. Masters finally comes in for the save. We’ve fought 15 minutes or so at this point and look at how little I’ve had to say.

Masters comes in and takes an ankle lock. Cena makes a save for no apparent reason and goes for the FU but Angle reverses into ANOTHER ankle lock. He’s just on freaking fire tonight. And then Shawn kicks him in the head and pins him. Yeah seriously, that’s how they get rid of him. Give me a freaking break. Ok it’s not that bad but I hate the out of nowhere ones like that.

You can tell they’re just killing time at this point as nothing at all is happening. Kane comes in so they’re all in now. I seriously couldn’t care less. This thing is boring as anything you can think of. After some brief domination, Kane chokeslams everyone but like an idiot never covers them. Carlito and Masters double team him and amazingly…it works. They do a double DDT and then a press slam of Carlito onto Kane.

At this point, it becomes somewhat clear how this is going to end and it gets dumber and dumber every second. Oh I forgot to mention that Shawn is bleeding. The problem with this match: Carlito and Chris Masters are dominating. Still, this is better than the Extreme Elimination Chamber as Shawn and Cena are at least major star power. Four of the six here were legit title guys and Carlito and Masters were solid midcard heels at the time, so it’s forgivable.

Don’t get me wrong: it’s freaking dumb and it’s bad, but it could be worse. The other four being awesome balances it out a lot. Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Carlito hits a rolling cutter (Cody Rhodes’ finisher) on Shawn to pin him. Yes, the final three are Carlito, Masters and Cena. This is freaking stupid. No one bought Cena losing for a second.

I was reading WZ and was on AIM at the same time with a girl I knew who was a Cena fan and was telling her what was going on. She went to bed at this point as it was obvious to even her, a mark, that this was ending with Cena winning. The fans are now cheering for Cena as they see the alternatives. That’s rather funny. So they double team him for about 5 minutes until the Masterlock is put on. Carlito low blows Masters and rolls him up before getting rolled up by Cena to win the match.

Rating: D. Seriously, Masters and Carlito? This is short because literally the second the match ends, Vince’s music starts playing and it becomes clear what’s going on and why the Chamber sucking means nothing, so I won’t bother going into detail on it.

Masters’ career would take a sharp downturn after this as he would be stuck in the midcard until being released at the end of 2007. He would move on to various international tours before coming back to WWE in 2009. Here’s a random match against January 18, 2010 against Randy Orton.

Chris Masters vs. Randy Orton

Masters has the always gorgeous Eve Torres with him here. The bell rings and we immediately get Sheamus, Orton’s opponent at the upcoming Royal Rumble. Masters hits a quick shoulder but can’t get the Master Lock. A scoop slam gets two for Chris but he walks into the backbreaker for no cover. The RKO is countered into the Master Lock but Orton eventually makes a rope. In an awkward looking ending, Masters leans forward to grab the hold again but Orton just puts on the RKO for the pin.

Masters wouldn’t do much in WWE after this as he would be stuck on Superstars for the most part. He would be released a year or so later and get back to the indies.

Overall Chris Masters is a guy who was a victim of the current WWE creative process. He clearly has talent but he was given one of the least creative gimmicks possible and when it didn’t get over, his push stopped cold. That’s the opposite of how pushes used to work; back in the day you would keep switching gimmicks until you found what worked because the talent was there. Now it’s the writers who have all the ideas and if you don’t get over, it’s off to Superstars with you. That’s a shame too as Masters had potential.

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Smackdown
Date: January 10, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

There isn’t much to talk about coming into this show. Monday was Old School Raw and the biggest story to come out of that was the surprising return of Jake Roberts who looked better than he has in years. Talk has turned to the Rumble though as we’re now just over two weeks away. Things can start to get very interesting very fast around this time so hopefully the pace picks up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Wyatt Family promo and Bray talking about Daniel being lost and needing his guidance.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

It’s Harper and Rowan with no Daniel or Bray in sight. Harper overpowers Jimmy to start by driving him into the corner, only to have Jey make a blind tag and sneak in with a kick to Harper’s ribs. That’s all good with Luke as he takes Jey down with ease before bringing in Rowan who gets kicked in the chest to change control again. Rowan runs him over with a shoulder and puts Jey on the corner for forearms to the chest from both monsters.

Erick stays on Jey but gets kicked in the head, knocking him back into the corner for a tag back to Harper. Luke kicks Jimmy off the apron to break up a tag before it’s back to Rowan for some face pulling. Jey tries to fight back but gets caught in a fallaway slam for no cover. Harper comes back in and breaks up another tag attempt with a shot to the ribs and another to the jaw.

A catapult sends Jey throat first into the middle rope and we hit the Gator Roll. Back to Rowan for the fist head squeeze until Jey fights out with a jawbreaker and Whisper in the Wind. Harper and Jimmy come in off the hot tags with Jimmy speeding things up but not moving as quickly as he usually does.

A Samoan drop puts Harper down but Jimmy has to superkick Rowan, only to walk into a Michinoku Driver from Harper. Everything breaks down and Jimmy rolls Luke up for two. Harper is sent to the floor so Jimmy can hit a big dive to put everyone down. Rowan runs Jey over as Harper comes back with the discus lariat, leading to the double countout at 9:45.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining but we’re getting very close to the maximum amount of times these teams (or Usos vs. Shield) can happen with the fans still caring. It’s been the same match over and over for months now and it’s losing its interest every week. It also doesn’t help that the Usos have been in the same spot in the division for months now with wins and losses meaning nothing for them.

Post match the Wyatts get ready to destroy Jey but Jimmy makes the save and gets them out of there. They get up the ramp but Bryan and Wyatt jump them from behind and it’s a 4-2 beatdown. There’s the running knee to Jey and Bryan stares at the announcers with his tongue out. Jimmy gets Sister Abigail and all four Wyatts pose. For some reason this was on a wider camera shot.

Randy Orton comes into Vickie’s office and demands to see HHH and Stephanie but they’re not here tonight. Randy is in a match tonight but hasn’t been consulted like he’s supposed to be. Vickie loads up the Best for Business line but Orton doesn’t want to hear it. He’s going to give the Authority a piece of his mind on Raw because it’s best for Randy Orton.

It’s MizTV with special guest the Big Show. Before Show comes out we look at Lesnar breaking Mark Henry’s arm on Monday before Big Show came out and threw Lesnar around. Miz recaps the story again and asks Big Show why he did what he did. Big Show puts it simply: he doesn’t like Brock Lesnar and never has. He’s not happy that Brock Lesnar is back and doesn’t like it when everyone who stands up to Brock Lesnar is left laying.

Big Show challenges Lesnar to a fight and here’s Heyman to answer. Heyman calls Lesnar the Ultimate Fighter of WWE and asks if Big Show wants to fight Brock right now. Big Show is ready and Heyman does his always great fake out, saying Brock will fight when Heyman says so. Heyman throws out an offer for a match at the Royal Rumble and says Brock will not be a hard man to find before then.

Batista is still coming.

Video on the Network announcement. I drool more every time I hear the details.

Ryback/Curtis Axel/Real Americans vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Los Matadores

Diego sends Axel into the corner but Axel knees him in the ribs and takes over. They run the ropes until Diego stops to shout OLE! Axel sends him into the corner for something like Ultimo Dragon’s headstand until Diego takes him down with a headscissors. Off to Fernando who gets taken into the corner for the tag to Cesaro. Fernando nips up off the mat into a headscissors and it’s back to Diego to chop Swagger in the head.

Axel comes in immediately and gets dropkicked by Sin Cara, sending him into the corner for a tag off to Ryback. A few dropkicks have Ryback in trouble but he bails to the floor before Rey can hit the 619. The good guys are in control as we go to a break. Back with Swagger driving a knee into Rey’s ribs and elbowing him in the face.

The Vader Bomb hits feet and Rey kicks him in the head for two as everything breaks down. Torito dives on Axel as Rey rolls out of the Patriot Lock but the 619 is caught, only to have Cara break up the pin. Sin and Axel take each other out to the floor, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and Drop the Dime for the pin on Jack at 4:40 shown of 8:10.

Rating: C. I guess they have to put all the Hispanic guys together since they put all their dancing black people together. We’re just an Aces and 8’s invasion away from GANG WARS 2! This took some time to get going but the ending was very fun. Sin Cara looks like he has some potential….which is why Del Rio beat him in two minutes on Raw I guess.

Video on Cena vs. Orton.

Randy Orton vs. Big E. Langston

Non-title of course. Langston takes him down with a shoulder block but Orton rolls to the floor before a cover. Back in and a headlock sets up another shoulder block sends Orton to the floor again. Orton comes in again and punches Big E. down, only to walk into a headbutt for two. Langston sends Orton to the mat with a single right hand to the ribs before slapping on an armbar.

Orton fights up again and pounds on Big E., only to get caught in a backbreaker. A second backbreaker gets two and Langston is getting in a zone. Randy escapes the Big Ending and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with the chinlock until Big E. powers out, only to get kneed in the ribs for two. Back to the chinlock but Big E. fights up again.

The comeback is short lived again though as Orton sends him through the ropes to the floor. Langston is sent into the steps twice in a row for two before we hit the chinlock again. Big E. fights up one more time and runs Orton over twice in a row, followed by a belly to belly suplex. The Warrior Splash gets two but Orton hits his backbreaker to get a breather. The RKO is countered with a splash in the corner but Orton pokes Big E. in the eye, setting up the RKO for the pin at 14:28.

Rating; C+. I missed pokes to the eyes. They’re such a simple heel move but they can be just what you need to get a heel through an ending. This match worked for the most part but it could have had a few minutes of chinlocks taken out. It’s good that Langston gets to look like he can hang in there against top guys. There’s a future there if he’s used properly.

Bray Wyatt talks about fate being a dangerous beast. She tears you apart with her teeth while tearing you apart with her eyes. Bray wants to know if he cuts an Uso, will the other bleed? He asks about the lies of the world, making Daniel scream LIE. Daniel rants about the lies of the world making him want to ram his head into a wall until he breaks something.

Xavier Woods vs. Fandango

This is a result of Fandango interrupting and costing Truth and Woods a match on Main Event. Truth joins commentary and says he and JBL are down like four flat tires. Woods takes him down with a headlock to start but Fandango sends him out to the floor. Xavier slingshots back into a rollup for the pin at 1:25. It’s as fast as it sounds.

Post match Summer Rae goes into the ring to yell but the Funkadactyls take care of her. Truth beats up Fandango for fun.

The Usos promises to show the Wyatts pain on Monday.

The Raw ReBound recaps most of the show.

Shield comes to the ring for the main event. Reigns declares himself the new best in the world after pinning Punk on Raw. Ambrose says there’s no reason for someone to own a ten foot python and it gave him nightmares. He goes into a rant about choking the snake but Rollins takes the mic and says tonight is about the future, meaning it’s not about the New Age Outlaws. They’ll break Punk like they always do because they are the future.

Shield vs. CM Punk/New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws haven’t wrestled on Smackdown in nearly 13 years. Naturally the Philadelphia fans are WAY into Punk. Ambrose and Punk get things going with Dean headlocking Punk to the mat, only to get caught in a headscissors. Off to Road Dogg who works on the arm for a few seconds before handing it off to Billy for more cranking. Cole screws up history by saying the Outlaws debuted as part of DX as Billy puts Rollins in an armbar. The Outlaws take turns on the armfor a bit before Punk comes in with a top rope elbow to the arm.

Seth gets in a shot to the jaw and tags in Ambrose, only to have Punk take him down into an Indian Deathlock. Punk misses the high kick and Dean bails to the floor as everything breaks down. Shield is sent to the floor to regroup as we take a break. Back with Ambrose working over Road Dogg until Roadie comes back with the shaky right hands. Rollins comes back in with a knee to the head for two before it’s back to Reigns for some corner stomping. Back to Ambrose who does the Road Dogg arm wiggle, only to have Road punch him in the face.

Ambrose will have none of this selling for old guys and knees Dogg in the ribs before tagging off to Rollins for a chinlock. Road Dogg is taken back into the corner for more triple teaming before Reigns comes back in for a chinlock. Reigns lets him go and ducks his head, allowing Road Dogg to put him down with a DDT. Ambrose can’t break up the hot tag attempt and it’s Punk in to clean house.

CM hits his usual stuff on Ambrose but can’t get the GTS. Both guys hit cross bodies to put each other down and it’s a double tag to bring in Billy vs. Roman. Everything breaks down with Gunn cleaning house and getting two off a Jackhammer to Rollins. Punk hits a suicide dive to take out Seth but Billy takes too long setting up the Fameasser, allowing Reigns to spear him down for the pin at 14:25.

Rating: C-. This feud has lost its way. Punk beat Shield on his own, so why should I want to see him fight them with a variety of partners? I have no problem with the Outlaws getting a match on Smackdown as they still looked fine out there. They were never my favorite team though and it’s not like they were known for their in ring work in the first place. The match wasn’t bad but it was little more than fine.

Overall Rating: D+. I remember reading something like same Smackdown, different week and that’s about as accurate as it gets. There’s just nothing on these shows that you need to see and we’re not even getting a great match every week anymore. The show is back to being a supplement to Raw and that’s not something I need when Raw is as bloated as it is.

Results

Wyatt Family vs. Usos went to a double countout

Rey Mysterio/Los Matadores/Sin Cara b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

Randy Orton b. Big E. Langston – RKO

Xavier Woods b. Fandango – Rollup

Shield b. CM Punk/New Age Outlaws – Spear to Gunn

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 6, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a special show tonight as Raw goes Old School. This has been a very entertaining show in the past but you never can tell what they’re going to be anymore. WWE can be so hit or miss with their nostalgia shows so it could go in any of several directions. The main storyline coming into tonight is Daniel Bryan debuting as part of the Wyatt Family after giving in and joining the group last night. Let’s get to it.

There’s some distressing breaking news coming into the show: Jerry Lawler was sent to the hospital with chest pains. It appears that he’s ok but he won’t be doing commentary tonight.

The set is made of the big red RAW letters, we have the blue posts and steps, the old graphics and the gray metal barricade.

Here’s Ric Flair to open the show. He says his catchphrases and promises to style and profile tonight but is interrupted by Randy Orton. The champion says he has nothing but respect for Flair for giving him his big break but tonight is all about Orton. Randy is sure Flair sees him as the biggest star of all time but he asks Ric to step aside because Orton has something to get off his chest.

Orton talks about Stephanie making the rematch with Cena last week and is upset that he wasn’t consulted about this. Since when did the business start making decisions based on what the fans wanted? Flair thinks Orton isn’t the man but rather just crying over having to wrestle a rematch. Back in Flair’s day the champion would wrestle seven nights a week because that’s what a champion does.

Randy says Flair always had someone watching his back all those years, which is why he’s the most overrated star in history. Ric doesn’t leave because Orton is going to listen to what he has to say. Orton needs to be a man instead of the coward he’s been since he got to the WWE. The champ is about to go off but here’s Cena to hug Flair. Cena says Orton sinks to a new low every time he opens his mouth by blaming his problems on Ric Flair. This is Ric Flair, a 16 time world champion, meaning Orton isn’t even in his league. If Orton wants to fight Cena is ready right now but Randy bails to the floor.

Cole and JBL give us an update on Lawler, saying his heart is fine. You can get updates on his health on the WWE App. Seriously?

We recap Daniel Bryan and the Wyatts last week.

Here are the Wyatts with Daniel for the first time. Bray holds up the lantern and Bryan stares him down in the dark, wearing blue coveralls ala Rowan. His face looks very defeated but stoic for lack of better terms.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos/Rey Mysterious

The referee has the old blue shirt and bowtie. Harper runs into a kick to the ribs from Jey to start but takes him down with a shoulder block. Bryan gets a tag for the first time to face Mysterio who says this isn’t the real Daniel. Bryan hits a hard forearm and knees to Rey’s ribs to take over. Rey counters a rollup attempt and sends Daniel to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting back on Rowan but walking into a fallaway slam. The WWE App shows us Mysterio hitting his sliding splash and the stereo Uso dives because why would we air those on the broadcast? Bryan comes back in for some hard kicks to Jey before tagging out to Erick. Jey avoids a charge in the corner and hits a sweet superkick to take the monster down. Hot tag brings in Mysterio for a seated senton and the 619 but Jimmy misses the Superfly Splash. Bryan tags himself in but Harper does the same with a glare to Daniel. Luke knocks Rey off the apron…and gets rolled up by Jimmy for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: D+. This was for the storyline instead of the match and that’s fine in this case. In theory Bryan will be subjected to further brainwashing and reprimands for not having the right chemistry. I’m glad the usos have found a niche for themselves in matches like these and they fit the roles perfectly.

Batista will be in the Rumble.

Due to bad refereeing last week in the Khali vs. Sandow match, we’re getting a rematch with the fans picking a guest referee: Arn Anderson, Bob Backlund or Sgt. Slaughter. The legends leave and Kane comes in for a LONG speech basically threatening Maddox to stop badmouthing him or the monster will return.

Big E. Langston walks through the back and sees Nikolai Volkoff singing the Russian national anthem, Ted DiBiase laughing and IRS telling him to pay his taxes. There are your pointless cameos for the hour.

Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

Ryback is on commentary. Non-title in case you didn’t get enough of the domination on Smackdown. Langston starts with some quick backbreakers but misses a charge into the post. Cole asks Ryback where the name Rybaxel came from because he’s that much of a dolt. Axel armdrags and dropkicks Langston before sending him to the floor. Back in and Big E. shrugs everything off and finishes Axel with the Big Ending at 2:45. This was nothing.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit. Piper doesn’t get to say much before his guests, the Shield, gets to interrupt. Ambrose: “Who gave this old man a live microphone?” Dean says it’s a good thing they weren’t around when Piper was in his prime or he wouldn’t have made it to 112 years old. Piper says he took the mic because he wanted it and says this is Piper’s Pit rather than Ambrose’s Alley. Piper may have taken a few hits to the head but there’s only one man that can match him on the microphone: CM Punk.

Ambrose gets in Piper’s face again but Rollins interrupts. Seth says he appreciates what Hot Rod is trying to do but it’s not 1985 anymore. Piper is just jealous because Ambrose is a better US Champion than Piper ever was. Roddy says he knows three things for sure: Rollins can’t beat Punk one on one, Ambrose can’t beat Punk one on one, but if Reigns can beat Punk tonight, doesn’t that make him better than his teammates?

Aren’t Ambrose and Rollins holding Reigns back? We get a REIGNS chant before Roman says he’ll beat Punk tonight and gets in Piper’s face. Shield surrounds Piper but Punk and the New Age Outlaws of all people come out for the save. Shield bails and Ambrose leaves the US Title behind so Piper puts it on his shoulder.

We recap Lesnar returning and throwing Mark Henry around like a paper doll last week.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio starts aggressively but gets caught in a quick crucifix for one. A few more rollups get two for Cara but Del Rio comes back with a stomp in the corner to take over. The announcers are too busy bragging about Raw airing in Japan tonight as Del Rio puts on a chinlock. Back up and Cara’s tornado DDT is countered but the Tajiri Elbow gets one. Cara goes to the apron and hits the enziguri but misses the Swanton, allowing Del Rio to hit the low superkick for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Del Rio says he’s tired of hearing about Batista so he’s going to throw him out of the Rumble.

In the back, Daniel tells the Wyatts that he came to the Family to try to learn. He was a tag team champion with guy a guy the size of Rowan and Harper and wants to contribute. He offers to team with either Harper or Rowan next week but instead will get to team with Bray himself.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans

Goldust and Swagger get us going with Goldie doing the big deep breath. An atomic drop sends Swagger over to the corner for a tag to Cesaro who gets caught in a double front suplex for one. Cody skins the cat to come back in with a right hand before it’s time to work on the arm. Cesaro takes Goldust down to switch momentum before bringing in Swagger for a double back elbow. Back to Cesaro for the standing chinlock but Goldust bring in Cody with the springboard missile dropkick for two.

The sunset flip out of the corner gets two on Antonio but Cody has to take Swagger down with a Disaster Kick, allowing Cesaro to get in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with the Real Americans still in control, though apparently the Cesaro Swing was shown on the WWE App. Great to know that we have to sit through a match without big spots so WWE can get people to download their latest project.

Cody backdrops Swagger to the floor but Antonio knocks Goldust to the floor. Rhodes gets to the corner but there’s no one to tag, allowing Swagger to counter the disaster Kick into the Patriot Lock. Goldust FINALLY comes back in for the save and gets the hot tag to clean house. A spinning cross body takes Swagger down and Cesaro is low bridged to the floor, allowing Goldust to hit the Final Cut for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough but I’m not sure where they’re going to find good challengers to take out Goldust and Cody. The problem is the champions have taken out every team so far but thankfully they’ve had good matches nearly every time. It’s a very entertaining runs but I’m not sure where they can go to eventually move the belts.

Booker T runs into Diamond Dallas Page in the back and we plug Page’s yoga program. The payoff is Ron Simmons for his signature catchphrase.

Damien Sandow vs. Great Khali

The guest referee is Sgt. Slaughter with 55% of the vote. Khali has Runjin Singh back with him tonight. No word on if Sandow quits if he loses here. Khali stomps away in the corner and hits some loud chops but Damien runs away from the big one to the head. Now it’s Damien stomping in the corner but runs into a big boot. The huge chop is enough to pin Sandow at 1:25, even though Sandow’s foot was on the ropes before one.

Damien yells and gets put in the Cobra Clutch post match. Slaughter dances with Khali and Singh in a goofy moment.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman with something to say. Heyman talks about how Lesnar doesn’t like the concept of Old School Raw. Old School Raw isn’t having a bunch of legends come out for one last hurrah and then leave after doing nothing. Brock wants Old School to mean the champion coming out here and standing supreme while everyone came out to challenge him. That’s what people like Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin did in their prime, and that’s how it should be today since there’s only one world champion.

After the Royal Rumble there will only be one man and it doesn’t matter if it’s John Cena or Randy Orton. You can put the date on the back of their neck because their time as champion is short. Brock Lesnar is coming for either one of them because he’s the best athlete in the world today. There is no one in wrestling, MMA or any professional sport that can compare to Lesnar and last week was proof of that.

The World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry, an Olympian, came at Lesnar with no warning and Brock destroyed him with ease. Heyman reads Brock’s new catchphrase off his shirt: Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat, over and over until Mark Henry comes out for the showdown. Mark is wincing but gets in some right hands to Brock. Lesnar shrugs them off and puts on the kimura to break Henry’s arm.

Brock goes to leave but Big Show comes out for a staredown. Lesnar slowly backpedals towards the ring and tells Big Show to bring it. Big Show is all serious here as he gets up to the apron. Brock is all bring it on but runs to the floor instead of having the showdown like a good heel is supposed to. Heyman offers a distraction and Lesnar gets in, only to be LAUNCHED across the ring and out to the floor.

We recap the opening segment.

Bella Twins vs. Aksana/Alicia Fox

Nikki works on an armbar on Fox to start before sending her to the apron with a backbreaker. Fox flips out of something resembling a snapmare before getting sent to the floor with a monkey flip. Nikki is sent to the floor and comes up holding her shin, only to have Alicia start working on it. My goodness it’s psychology in a Divas match. Aksana comes in to stay on the leg until Nikki fights up for a tag to Brie. House is cleaned but Brie misses her middle rope dropkick, giving Aksana the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D. The girls all look good in their outfits. I think you can figure out my thoughts on the match on your own.

3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.

Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.

We get one more big legends segment with everyone mentioned tonight plus Godfather. All of them get introduced to the crowd but Bad News Barrett interrupts. Everyone has a good time but Bad News Barrett interrupts. This should be a momentous occasion but there’s some bad news. Flea markets are in a frenzy today because all of these old guys aren’t there to sign 25 year old photos for seven people. Barrett will take great pleasure in forgetting all of their names as soon as they leave the arena, just like all of the fans.

Randy Orton vs. Big E. Langston on Smackdown.

Before the main event here’s Gene Okerlund to shill a hotline for $5.95 a minute and kids don’t need their parents’ permission. He brings out the New Age Outlaws who don’t want him to tell a story about the three of them, a clown and farm animals. The Outlaws head to the ring and do their catchphrases before doing the introductions for the main event.

Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start with Punk taking him down into a headlock. The Outlaws are sticking around at ringside. Reigns comes back with a shoulder block and we take a break. Back with Reigns knocking Punk off the apron and into the barricade. Reigns brings him back inside for some shots to the head and a body vice. A headbutt puts Reigns down again but he comes back with a cross body, only to hurt his ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug from Roman before he shifts it around to a body vice. Punk tries to escape but Reigns suplexes him down, only to miss the Superman Punch and get kicked in the head. More kicks have Reigns in trouble and Punk drops him with some ax handles and a neckbreaker for two. The running knee in the corner gets two more but Reigns breaks up the Macho Elbow.

Punk breaks up a superplex attempt and drops the elbow (to Ambrose according to Cole) for no cover. The Outlaws and Shield get into it on the floor and Punk dives out to take care of Rollins, only to dive into the Superman Punch for two. The spear hits the middle buckle and Punk gets a VERY close two off a rollup. Punk snaps off a high kick for two more but Reigns escapes the GTS. Another Ambrose distraction lets Reigns spear Punk in half for the pin at 16:14.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but the near falls at the end were all great stuff. They’re pushing Reigns to the moon and it continues to show how annoying these start and stop pushes can be. Look what happens when you push guys like Reigns and Langston to the moon without having them trade wins against midcarders for a change. It’s like people get behind monsters who clean house or something.

Post match Shield poses but JAKE ROBERTS comes out. Punk picks up Ambrose for a GTS but gives him an airplane spin first. Jake looks better than I’ve seen him in years. Ambrose gets the snake treatment for old times’ sake.

Overall Rating: D+. The D in this case is for disappointing. This show has potential every year but most of the time it turns into a regular Raw with a few frills to pay lip service to the theme of the night. Look at all the completely meaningless cameos and time spent on regular stuff instead of the legends. There was one match all night featuring the legends and it was the most enjoyable thing all night.

With six weeks between TLC and the Rumble, it’s ok to spend a week on something fun instead of plugging your App and whatever other nonsense they’ve got going on at the moment. This felt like any given Raw with a few extra moments put in. I wanted to love this show a lot but instead it became dull really fast and I kept forgetting it was a special at all. That’s not bad but it’s very disappointing which is even worse.

Results

Usos/Rey Mysterio b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper

Big E. Langston b. Curtis Axel – Big Ending

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Superkick

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Real Americans – Final Cut to Swagger

Great Khali b. Damien Sandow – Chop to the head

Aksana/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins – Aksana pinned Brie after a missed missile dropkick

Too Cool/Rikishi b. 3MB – Seated senton to Mahal

Roman Reigns b. CM Punk – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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I’m already having to stretch with this one as there’s no one video of anyone born on January 2. Therefore, today’s wrestlers are going to be the hottest second generation acts at the moment: Goldust and Cody Rhodes. We’ll start with the elder of the pair.

Goldust is the more famous incarnation of Dustin Rhodes who made his national debut for all intents and purposes at the 1991 Royal Rumble, joining his father Dusty in a tag match against Ted DiBiase and Virgil.

Ted Dibiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes

Dustin is BRAND new here as this is his first WWF match. It’s also Dusty’s last in the WWF/E for over fifteen years. This is the blowoff to DiBiase vs. Dusty which started at Summerslam with Ted buying Sapphire and taking her from Dusty. Sapphire left soon afterwards because she didn’t want to be away from Dusty. Anyway the Rhodes Family takes over to start with elbows a go-go, sending the heels to a huddle on the floor.

Dustin, only 21 here, starts with Virgil who barely ever wrestled at this point. I mean it was like once every year or two. Dustin hits a clothesline and a dropkick to send Virgil (the real name of Dusty for you trivia geeks) to the floor as DiBiase is getting frustrated. Another clothesline puts Virgil on the floor again and Ted yells a lot. Off to DiBiase to backdrop the young gun but a second attempt results in a face jam.

The Rhodes dudes hammer DiBiase back and forth with elbows to send him to the floor as well. Here’s Big Dust who puts on a sleeper but Virgil breaks it up. Back to Dustin for a dropkick for two, but a charging knee at Virgil misses to put Dustin down. Virgil stays on the knee and wraps it around the post, as does his boss. The heels try some double teaming, but Virgil accidentally clotheslines DiBiase. Ted beats the tar out of him, allowing Dustin to tag his dad. Said dad is rolled up for the pin almost immediately by DiBiase.

Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it was almost all for the ending and post match stuff. Like I said, the Rhodes guys were on their way out so they didn’t have a chance at all in this one. Dusty stopped meaning anything months before this and it was the right move to go back to WCW for him where he could do what he wanted and book as well.

That was it for the Rhodes Family in the WWF as they moved back to WCW almost immediately. Dustin would get a lot better over time and become known as the Natural. He would win the US Title in 1993 and defend it against Steve Austin at Starrcade 1993.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

“The Natural” Rhodes is defending but Austin is rapidly becoming the character that would make him the legend that he was destined to be. He also has Colonel Robert Parker as his manager and this is 2/3 falls. Jesse entertains himself by making fun of the Hooters girl (“You can’t call her the Natural.”) as they fight on the mat for basic control. The champion puts on a headscissors but Austin quickly makes a rope. An elbow to the head puts Austin on the floor and we take a breather.

Rhodes pounds in knees to Steve’s arm but Austin rolls right back to the floor. Back in again with Dustin taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Austin fights up and kicks him in the ribs, only to be caught in a backslide for two. Austin bails right back to the floor as the match stops all over again. This time though Austin pulls him to the mat and hits an elbow on Dustin’s chest to take over.

Now Rhodes knocks Austin into the crowd before heading back inside. Steve looks very frustrated and a big right hand frustrates him even more. Back to the headlock because we haven’t spent enough time in that hold yet. Austin escapes and drops some knees, only to be popped in the jaw again. Rhodes is thrown to the floor but he comes back in with a sunset flip for two. A belly to back suplex puts the champion down and Austin gets a lazy two.

They ram heads and yet again we lay around. This has been another dull match in a series of them tonight. Back up and Rhodes hits an elbow to the head but Austin falls on top during a slam attempt, getting another near fall. Austin misses a middle rope knee drop and Dustin connects with a lariat. A powerslam gets two as Parker is up on the apron. Dustin throws Austin int Parker but Steve goes over the top, giving him the first fall in a DQ.

Austin is busted open and Parker has to be taken to the back after being attacked by Dustin. The second fall starts and there go the lights. Thankfully we have a spotlight ready as Dustin hits a suplex for no cover. They head to the corner with Rhodes pounding away and the lights are back. In a quick ending, Austin shoves him off the ropes and grabs the trunks for the pin, the second fall, and the title.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of these lame matches. Austin and Rhodes are WAY too talented to have such a bad match, but the majority of this match was spent doing very basic stuff which had no excitement to it at all. There’s nothing to see here at all, as is the case with all of the matches so far tonight.

Dustin would eventually jump to the WWF again and would undergo one of the most radical changes in history. Instead of being the Natural, he would become a man in a gold suit with gold hair and covered in gold paint named Goldust. He was obsessed with the movies and quoted film nonstop. After doing little of note for a few months, he would challenge Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 1996.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Goldust would stick around for years to come but would mainly be a midcarder who was strange in name only. We’re going to skip ahead to December of 2002 when Goldust was part of a very funny tag team with Booker T. This is from Armageddon 2002 in a four way tag team title match with Booker T/Goldust as one set of challengers.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T/Goldust vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

The Canadians are champions and this is under elimination rules. The Dudleys are only 15 time tag champions here. They’re also recently reunited, having gotten back together at Survivor Series. The Dudleys and Unamericans (Regal/Storm) were pre-determined to start the match in a four way coin toss somehow. Storm and Bubba get us going here with Storm hammering away.

Ray channels the POWER OF AMERICA and beats down Storm with a corner splash and it’s off to Christian vs. D-Von. We get a rundown of the city structure of Dudleyville as Regal comes in now. Goldust vs. the British dude with the British dude hitting a suplex for no cover. Christian tagged himself in, ticking Regal off. Is there a reason why you would want to come in? I’d chill on the apron until it’s down to two teams.

Jericho comes in and is sent right back out again by Goldie. Back in Jericho reminds Goldust that he’s THE KING OF THE WORLD and it’s off to Christian as Goldie is in trouble. What’s Up to Christian as some Dudleys are here in case you didn’t get that one. Everything breaks down and we have Christian vs. D-Von left in the ring. 3D to Christian but Regal got a blind tag. After a weird confusion, Regal gets two on Ray (illegal man) but it’s called a pin anyway. Five seconds later Goldust gets a powerslam (seriously?) to Regal to get us down to two teams. That was an incredibly confusing sequence.

Ok so it’s Christian/Jericho vs. Booker/Goldust. The good guys (Booker/Goldust) hammer on Jericho with Booker being legal. Hook kick gets two for Booker and it’s off to the armbar. Christian is down on the floor I guess. Maybe he’s off finding a good deal on Turtle Wax. Either way he’s not in the corner but he pops up in time to break up a pin attempt on Jericho.

Off to Christian who avoids a forearm, sending Goldust to the floor. Jericho gets a British flag to Goldust’s back to take over again. Back in Christian gets an abdominal stretch and a chant saying he sucks. Jericho comes in and goes down quickly but Christian makes a nice save to break up the tag. I would have thought that would have worked. In a surprising moment, Goldust wakes up and beats the champions down with ease. Ross calls a chokeslam (kind of) a sidewalk slam. Ok then.

Off to Booker who gets the Jack Brisco sunset flip out of the corner for two. He hammers on Jericho but the falling sleeper (looked awful) takes down Booker for two. Here come the Walls but Jericho gets rolled up for two. Axe kick misses and there are the Walls. Goldie pops up out of nowhere and hits a bulldog to take Jericho down.

A belt shot by Christian doesn’t work and a missile dropkick gets two on Jericho. Lionsault misses so Booker stops for the Spinarooni. Axe kick gets two and everything breaks down again. Belt shot and Lionsault get two on Booker and Jericho is ticked. So ticked that he walks into the Bookend and we’re done with new comedic champions.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they sped through the first two eliminations so we could get to the two top teams. Goldie and Booker were funny but they lost the titles in like three weeks to the Unamericans. They knew how to have a fast paced tag match out there and the whole thing worked rather well. This was somehow almost 17 minutes long and it feels like about seven, which is a great thing.

The new champions would lose the titles a month later and Goldust would become little more than a jobber. He went to TNA for a few years and was a monster named Black Reign before pretty much fading away. Finally in 2013 he was brought back as part of a storyline war between the Rhodes and McMahon families, culminating in a tag match at Battleground where he teamed with his brother Cody against the Shield for the Rhodes Family’s jobs.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns

If the Rhodes Family wins, they get their jobs back. If Shield wins, Cody and Goldust are gone forever and Dusty loses his job too. This is also non-title. Dusty is at ringside to counter act Dean Ambrose and Goldust looks like Darth Maul. Cody pounds away on Seth to start and it’s quickly off to Roman who gets pounded down in the corner. Shield bails to the floor and stalks Dusty, setting up a cool looking six man standoff with the brothers protecting their dad.

Back in and Roman knees Cody down as the champions take over. Seth comes in but walks into an elbow to the jaw and a stomping in the corner. Rollins sends him into the buckle to escape and it’s off to Roman for some power. After an easy pounding it’s quickly back to Rollins to crank on the shoulder a bit. Cody gets caught in the Tree of Woe but frees up a leg to kick Seth down. The moonsault press hits Rollins perfectly and the hot tag brings in Goldust.

An atomic drop slows Reigns down and Goldust pounds him down in the corner. Goldust hits a spinning cross body off the top for two but misses a regular cross body, sending him out to the floor. Goldie dives back in at nine but gets caught in a body scissors from Rollins. Back to Reigns for a good looking clothesline for two before it’s back to Rollins who gets the same off a hilo. Goldust comes back by avoiding a dropkick and powerslamming Seth down.
There’s the hot tag off to Cody for an Alabama Slam to Rollins for a very near fall. Something like a Muscle Buster gets two on Rollins and everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick staggers Reigns and Cody clotheslines him to the floor but an Ambrose distraction allows Seth to come back in for the save. Dusty elbows Ambrose down and Seth rolls up Cody for two. Rhodes comes pops back up and hits Cross Rhodes for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: B. This was ALL about emotion coming in but the match was good stuff on top of that. Again, this match worked because we were given a reason to care about the underdogs and wanted to see them win instead of being told we wanted to see them win. That’s how you make a good story and it worked perfectly well here.

That brings us to Cody Rhodes, who is far different from his dad and brother but still very talented. We’ll start with his time down in OVW as he teams up with CM Punk to face Jay Bradley (occasionally seen in TNA) and Shawn Spears who appeared in WWECW a few times. I’m not 100% sure on the date here but I’m pretty sure it’s June 23, 2007.

Cody Runnels/CM Punk vs. Shawn Spears/Jay Bradley

Bradley is OVW Champion and Spears is TV Champion. Cody has half polka dot half goldu trunks to honor his family. If Punk and Cody (the good guys here) win, Cody gets Spears in a strap match this coming week and Punk gets a title match with Bradley next week on TV. Cody decks Bradley in the face with a string of forearms but keeps looking over at Spears. Bradley catches him in a fallaway slam and it’s off to Spears who immediately runs to the floor.

It’s back to Bradley who runs from Punk and tags Spears back in. Cody gets an immediate tag to send Spears running again but Bradley makes another save. Bradley hits Cody with some forearms to the back and like a good heel, Spears finally comes in when Cody is down. Cody shrugs off everything Spears has to throw at him, sending Shawn to the corner for another tag. Announcer Dean Hill talks about Spears and Cody being former partner until Spears turned on him. Simple but effective story.

Bradley puts Cody in a chinlock and drags him to the corner for another tag off to Shawn. Spears plays a nice cocky heel until Cody punches him in the face. Punk comes in sans tag but only gets his partner in more trouble. The heels stay in control until Spears ducks his head and gets punched in the face. Cody FINALLY makes the tag off to Punk and everything breaks down, sending the heels running off for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was about setting up stuff for later and there’s nothing wrong with that. Cody had the look and some natural skills but he needed a lot of seasoning at this point. Punk was barely in the match at all but he was just a special attraction in OVW here. Cody would win the title in just a few days.

Post match Cody pulls out a strap and cleans house on everyone that comes from the locker room to help the heels.

Cody would debut on Raw less than a month later. He would go on to feud with Hardcore Holly and eventually get a tag team title shot at the Raw 15^th Anniversary special on December 10, 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.

They would hold the titles for over seven months despite few people seeming interested. Cody would turn heel and join up with Randy Orton and Ted DiBiase Jr. as part of Legacy. The trio would dominate Raw for a good while and eventually feud with DX, leading to a submissions only match at Breaking Point.

DX vs. Legacy

This is submissions count anywhere. We get the obligatory Montreal reference from DX which makes sense as we’re in Montreal tonight. HHH says it was all Shawn’s fault in a rather funny bit. There are in essence no rules in this to speak of. Shawn is famous for the figure four? Since when? We’re already into the crowd so at least they’re not trying that hard to make this look like a normal match. That’s always a perk.

Shawn has DiBiase in a choke on a railing in the audience and HHH and Rhodes are back in the concourse I think. We were in the ring for all of 8 seconds in case you were wondering. They’re brawling all over the place but of course we’re heading back to the ring now. Rhodes is put onto a chair and HHH gets a Boston Crab at the same time that Shawn gets a camel clutch. Good to know. After that is broken up we get a crossface from HHH.

I’m not sure if this is a good match or not. Rhodes hooks a Gory Special of all things. The formula of this match more of less is one guy puts a hold on another and the partner makes the save. It’s ok but there’s not much to it really. HHH and DiBiase are in the ring and Rhodes and Shawn are fighting in the production area. They fight into the stands and Shawn falls from there down to a perfectly placed empty area.

Basically HHH has to fight both guys off to keep them away from Shawn. Hmm…HHH having to face very big odds and do something no other normal person could pull off? Where’s the challenge? They’re in the back and beating the heck out of HHH. The crowd reaction would suggest Shawn is up. Oh wait it’s Montreal so maybe he died or something. Never mind. He’s up. It’s back to 1-2 now though as HHH got smacked in the head and is down.

Rhodes busts out an ankle lock on Shawn. You know, the guy with a bad back that just hurt his back a few minutes ago. I can’t stand stupid wrestlers at times. So Shawn was down for maybe two minutes from FALLING OFF A BALCONY and HHH is down much longer from a garbage can shot? Good freaking night.

Shawn gets that reverse figure four that he used like twice but he’s a master off all of a sudden anyway. Rhodes just goes off on Shawn and hooks the figure four on the post. DiBiase adds in the Million Dollar Dream. And Shawn taps out with HHH crawling on the floor. Talk about an EPIC win. Match kind of sucked but kind of didn’t.

Rating: B-. I liked it, but there were a LOT of problems here. For one thing, it got to the point where it was just the same stuff happening but with different people. That’s rather boring indeed. However, VERY happy that Legacy won as they actually needed a win as opposed to DX all over again. It was good but far from great. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt though.

Once Legacy broke up, Cody eventually became obsessed with his looks and going by the name Dashing Cody Rhodes. He would offer tips on self-grooming and stuff like candles while still putting on good matches. Eventually he would have his face injured in a match against Rey Mysterio and wear a mask that made him look like Dr. Doom from Marvel Comics. The interesting aspect of the character was that Cody’s face looked exactly the same but in his head he was convinced he was hideous. This led to a match with Mysterio at Wrestlemania 27.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.

Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.

The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.

Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.

Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.

Cody would go on to win the Intercontinental Title and hold it for several months. After losing it for the second time, things would go down in a hurry for Rhodes as he would be stuck in midcard and tag team feuds that went nowhere. It wouldn’t be until Fall of 2013 when Cody got a match with WWE Champion Randy Orton for his job that he would show the potential he had again.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

If Cody loses he’s gone. Orton pounds away in the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. Rhodes is draped over the top rope and sent out to the floor, but he sends Randy into the steps for a breather. Cody cranks on the arm and gets two off a dropkick before pounding away in the corner. Orton gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a poke to the eye for two. More right hands have Randy in control but Cody comes back with a release front suplex and right hands of his own in the corner. Orton hits the backbreaker out of said corner to send Cody to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Orton throwing Cody back inside for two but Cody comes back with an elbow to the jaw and an uppercut to put Rhodes down. A springboard missile dropkick gets a close two and the Disaster Kick gets the same. Orton sidesteps the moonsault press and puts Cody down with the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered into the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for a VERY close two. I thought that was it. The fans are WAY into Cody here but Orton snaps his throat across the top rope. Back in and Rhodes gets two off a rollup but another Disaster Kick misses and the RKO connects for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. When you have me believing that Cody Rhodes could beat Randy Orton, you’re doing something right. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with Cody now as he got a good rub here but apparently he’s gone for a bit due to the loss. Either they’re going back on what they said or he’s really taking time off for some reason. Still though, good match here.

Overall, the Rhodes children are the polar opposite of their dad. Dusty was all about promos and usually couldn’t have a good match if his life depended on it. Cody and Goldust can both talk but are much more athletic in the ring. At this point Goldust is having one of the best career comebacks you’ll ever see while Cody could be an upper midcard fixture for years to come.

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Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final show of the year and we close things out with the Blue Guys. As long as it’s not Blue Meanie I’m cool with that. Anyway tonight we should get some advancement in the three way world title feud. I hope they don’t make Bryan look like a joke in this that can’t get in any offense and has to escape with whatever kind of win he can get. Those title reigns completely defeat the purpose of being a champion. Then again so does MITB in general but whatever. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Barrett vs. Orton. Their match tonight is the main event and it’s falls count anywhere. I’m curious to see how this ends, which I’m sure you’ve heard about already.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is the number 2012, since I’ll be writing 2011 for at least two more weeks.

Here’s Booker coming out to do commentary. You know, his job. I wonder if he gets his pay docked for being late like this. He talks about how this has been a great year for him, starting with the Rumble and then joining the commentary booth. Then on Monday he beat Cody Rhodes and that’s all because of the fans. He goes for his catchphrase but here’s Cody to interrupt him.

Cody makes fun of local spots teams and the Indy 500 because that’s what heels do. No seriously, it’s a fine way to get the crowd booing you so why not do it? Rhodes talks about his year, ranging from being injured to beating Mysterio to winning the IC Title. Then he took a washed up announcer and pushed him to regain some of his former glory. Booker says that when he beat Cody on Monday, he wasn’t that washed up. If Cody respected the business, he’d be congratulating Booker right now.

The champ actually agrees and says that he doesn’t want to come off as some kind of bitter jerk because he’s better than that. He actually congratulates Booker and offers a handshake. Booker shakes it and gets in his face a bit but turns to leave. Cody says of course now this is all over. Booker isn’t sure what he means by that, but Cody says the fairy tale is over and Booker is nothing but a nostalgia act. If Booker keeps competing, his skills will be exposed as being gone. If he goes back to announcing, he’ll be exposed as an illiterate moron. In short, Booker is a joke.

Cue….Dustin Rhodes? He comes out to the Goldust music but he’s in a suit and no makeup. Dustin says he loves his brother very much but Cody is going about this all wrong. Booker is someone that Cody should respect because it was Booker that inspired Dustin to face his demons and make a comeback. Dustin gets the idea of building your own legacy, but don’t do it at Booker’s expense. Cody knows better than this.

Cody chuckles at this and says that as soon as Booker stopped teaming with him, Dustin fell back into those demons and then into utter obscurity. Booker gets in Cody’s face and asks for a third match with Cody since it’s one apiece at the moment. He wants to do it right now but Cody says we’ll do it next week. Booker says that next week it’ll be a celebration when he becomes the new Intercontinental Champion. Booker leaves and Cody beats Dustin down. Booker makes the save but Cody is long gone. Not a bad opening segment.

Tonight’s main event: it’s a tag team match!

Ted DiBiase vs. Jinder Mahal

If DiBiase is supposed to be this everyman now, shouldn’t he lose the I’m Rich theme song? They exchange quick control to start but Mahal keeps his, hitting a Vader Bomb knee drop for two. The crowd isn’t exactly thrilled by DiBiase vs. Legs Mahal here. Ted gets in a few shots to slow Mahal down but tweeks his knee coming off the top. A Downward Spiral (so fed up with that move) sets up the Camel Clutch and Dibiase surprisinly taps at 2:50. Didn’t see that one coming.

Teddy is talking about his New Year’s Eve party tomorrow night when Aksana comes in. More flirtations are made and Drew McIntyre comes in. He’s been signed back to Smackdown and Teddy is willing to forgive him. Drew isn’t going to get paid what he was getting earlier when his career has fallen apart. He gets Big Zeke tonight and if he doesn’t win, his job might be in jeopardy. Drew talks about the time he made Teddy beg for mercy and says that’s nothing compared to what he’ll do to Jackson.

Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn vs. Natalya/Tamina

Tamina looks better with straight hair. The lack of JTG helps a lot also. Tamina vs. Kaitlyn starts us off. The evil ones take over on Kaitlyn and beat her down. Something like a Michinoku Driver by Natalya does nothing here as Kaitlyn makes the tag about two seconds later. Alicia hits the axe kick on Nattie for the pin at 1:34. Why do they bother with these matches? I honestly don’t know.

Tamina beats up Natalya post match, including a Superfly Splash.

Don’t be a bully.

Raw ReBound eats up some time.

We get a standard recap of Show vs. Otunga on Monday with Henry coming in as well. Bryan made the save.

Speaking of Bryan, he’s in the back talking with AJ (who looks GREAT tonight in a black cut off top and jeans) about how he saved Big Show. Show comes up and asks to talk to Bryan alone. Show says that giants don’t really need to be saved. Teddy comes in and says that the tag match main event won’t be happening tonight as Otunga wants a rematch with Show. Henry will be in his corner. Bryan implies he’ll have Show’s back but doesn’t exactly say it.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

I think there’s new music for Gabriel but I’m not 100% sure. Hunico comes out on a lowrider bicycle with his new bodyguard who used to be in FCW and is named Camacho here. I don’t remember his FCW name. Further investigations (as in I looked it up on Wikipedia) says that his name there is Donny Marlow and his dad is more famous as Meng or Haku.

Cole says he has a lot of knowledge about lowrider bicycles. Hunico gets sent to the floor and Gabriel misses a dive. Cole gives us the history of lowrider bikes and all I can think of is….why? There’s something about Eddie Munster mentioned in there. Justin misses a springboard something coming back in but hits a powerbomb style move to take over. Hunico breaks up the 450 and brings Gabriel down so that the Swanton can end this at 1:48. This was nothing and Camacho didn’t get involved at all.

Hunico/Camacho hit something like Cryme Tyme’s old finisher to leave Gabriel on the mat (Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo).

Big Show vs. David Otunga

If nothing else we get the big knockout punch from last week which still looks great. Otunga has really long arms. Henry gets his own entrance. Show beats him down as Otunga tries to get in whatever offense he can. David bails to the floor where Henry gives him something resembling a pep talk. Back in a shoulder block puts Otunga down as does a corner splash. Henry gets on the apron to distract from the chokeslam and Otunga hits a chop block and DDT for two. Henry goes to get in the ring but Bryan pops up with a belt shot to stop him. The big punch knocks Otunga out cold at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and that’s about it. Bryan coming out didn’t really mean anything or add anything as it wasn’t like Show needed help. Also it doesn’t help that he looks like a mosquito who keeps running in and hitting people then running. Nothing to see here but Otunga can sell a punch really well.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Drew McIntyre

Jackson has some hair now. We get Drew’s full entrance and I miss his song. Big Zeke controls with power for a few moments but Drew takes over pretty quickly. Jackson beats him down more and this match isn’t going to last long. A big boot by Drew gets two. Northern lights suplex gets two. Jackson backdrops him and the fans don’t care. Side slam gets two for the power man. Torture Rack is countered and Drew gets a boot up in the corner. It gets two even with his feet on the ropes. Drew argues with the ropes and Jackson rolls him up (with a big handful of tights) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Terribly boring match here and I have no idea what the point of it was. Drew has fallen so far in the last year and a half that it’s almost scary. I don’t get the point in having Jackson use the tights but maybe it’ll be addressed in the future. Jackson is pretty worthless as he isn’t interesting at all and now he has to cheat to win matches over Drew Freaking McIntyre? Not a good match at all.

Video on Sheamus. I think they aired this months ago. I remember the rock version of Written In My Face.

Drew yells about the tights in the back and Teddy says he can’t stand losers. He’s a ticked off Peanut here. Old school fans will get that joke.

Here’s Sheamus for a little chat. “What’s the crack Indianapolis?” Is that an Irish thing? He wants to talk about the future and by that he means the Royal Rumble. The winner gets a title match at Wrestlemania. He doesn’t care who he eliminates because he’s going to win the Rumble. Cue Hornswoggle to get on my nerves. Horny is going to enter the Rumble as well because miracles like Bryan beating Big Show can happen. He says he’ll win (only saying his own name). Sheamus admires that and gives us some Irish folk lore or whatever you want to call it. He gets all mean but is only playing.

Cue Heath Slater who is a breath of air. I can’t stand Horny at all. Slater mentions guys like Bushwhacker Luke and the Brooklyn Brawler, who fall into the same category as Horny: the guy that says they’ll win and is a joke. Slater says he’s the greatest redhead on Smackdown and the only reason Horny won the battle royal was because Sheamus didn’t want to squash a leprechaun. Slater doesn’t have that problem though. Sheamus gets in his face and….sings Don’t Stop Believin. Ok then. Sheamus says he sees Slater as more of an R. Kelly kind of guy, because he believes he can fly, and there goes Slater. That was…yeah.

Sheamus vs. Heath Slater

Kind of awkward here as Sheamus was celebrating after throwing Slater out and we went to a break. Back and they’re having a match. Sheamus pounds him down and works on the arm and then throws Heath to the apron. Slater slaps him and that was very stupid, so here are ten forearms to the chest for his efforts. Sheamus keeps countering him but Slater drop toeholds him into the middle buckle. Slater gets him onto the mat and hooks a chinlock. The counter to that triggers Sheamus’ comeback which consists of forearms to the back, a top rope shoulder and the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:45 shown.

Rating: D+. The Rumble is probably the best thing that could possibly happen to Sheamus at this point. He doesn’t have anything to do on Smackdown as it was looking like he was the next opponent for Henry but then Henry got hurt so they had to go to the Bryan reign. Since then he’s just been beating up random people without breaking a sweat, which can only get you so far.

Bryan is talking to Teddy when Show comes in. He’s getting annoyed at Bryan for always being there. Bryan wants a thank you for being there to bail Show out. They start growling at each other and we’re told that it’s Show vs. Bryan for the title next week. Show laughs a lot at that. Bryan says even if he loses, his reign lasted longer than 45 seconds.

Whoever they are, they’re still coming. I’m kind of curious about that but I’m expecting a letdown.

We hype the three big title matches spread over the next week of shows.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Falls count anywhere. Slugout to start and Orton hammers him into the corner. Out to the floor and Barrett goes into the steps for two. With Barrett’s head on the steps, a stomp gets two. Usually that would crack a skull but in wrestling it only gets two. That’s why I love this stuff. RKO is countered and Orton goes into the post as we take a break.

Back with them in the ring and Barrett hammering away. He hits that running boot to Orton as Orton is sitting on the middle rope which gets two on the floor. Big boot in the ring gets two and we hit the chinlock. Middle rope elbow gets the same. Back to the chinlock as this has been a lot more basic than I was expecting. Orton gets in the powerslam but Barrett escapes the elevated DDT by heading to the floor.

Orton throws him over the table and they go into the crowd. They go into the back and Orton goes through a table. Randy sends him into an anvil case as Barrett tries to escape down the hall. The referee went down earlier so he’s not here. They fight into an elevator and we actually cut to a security camera feed in the elevator.

They brawl out into what looks like a corporate area and a cameraman has to run to catch up to them. The camera goes through a door and we hear shouting and a crash. He catches up to them and Barrett is standing at the top of a flight of steps. Orton is laying at the bottom in a shape that probably isn’t that comfortable. The camera looks down at him as he can barely move and we go off the air.

Rating: C. Pretty boring main event for the most part but once they got to the wild brawl it wasn’t that bad. Word is Orton has a legit bad back so this is the angle that they’re going with to write him off TV for awhile. That’s fine and not having a pin works here because there’s no point in having a pin with that being the closing shot of the show. Not terrible and the ending did the job it was supposed to do.

Overall Rating: C. I wasn’t huge on this show. The point of it was to get Orton off TV for awhile and that worked out pretty well. Barrett looks great and we have a world title match set for next week. I’m honestly not sure what they’re going to do with Bryan as the way he won the title makes him look like a fluke and there’s a chance they’ll pull it off of him with a Show heel turn. Either way, not a horrible show but nothing at all worth going out of your way to see.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Ted DiBiase – Camel Clutch
Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn b. Natalya/Tamina – Axe Kick to Natalya
Hunico b. Justin Gabriel – Swanton Bomb
Big Show b. David Otunga – WMD
Drew McIntyre b. Ezekiel Jackson – Rollup
Sheamus b. Heath Slater – Brogue Kick
Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest

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A quick one to close us out.There’s no real point to nominees here as this comes down to two people.

The winner is……..John Cena.

As well as Daniel Bryan.  At the end of the day I simply can’t pick one over the other so it’s a tie.  Let’s look at both guys.

First up we have Bryan, who got the rocket push of this generation over the course of the summer.  Bryan went from being in a very successful tag team to flying up the card, culminating in something that happens once a year at best: pinning John Cena 100% clean in the middle of the ring.  That flat out does not happen most o the time and it’s a huge deal.  After that Bryan won another world title and main evented several PPVs to close out the year.  That’s something that’s hard to top.

However, when you look at kayfabe accomplishments, Cena had a dominant year.  He won the Royal Rumble, he won the world title in the main event of Wrestlemania, he held world titles for over half the year, he main evented Summerslam and TLC plus brought the WHC its most prestige in years.  That’s a great year by anyone’s standards and a very good one for Cena.

I just can’t pick one guy over the other and they both deserve to be called the best wrestler of the year.  Now go ahead and call me biased.

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Another one with more options than I was expecting.It’s rare for me to be surprised in wrestling but this year it happened several times.

First up, a note about TNA.  This is usually a category where they can pull off some good entries but there’s nothing this year.  It’s seemed like you can predict just about everything that happens every time they have a big show.  That’s a really bad sign and something they need to work at.

Anyway, on to the nominees. There are twoof these that happened in the span of about five minutes.

First up, Daniel Bryan pinning John Cena clean.  The question here wasn’t would Bryan win, but rather how he would do it.  People had been expecting to see something like a rollup or a cradle, but to debut a brand new move and cave John Cena’s chest in with a running knee was a big surprise.  I had the words “for two” written but had to backspace furiously.

Orton cashes in.  Yeah people thought it might happen, but the way they executed it was nearly perfect.  That delay before Orton’s music hit was the perfect way to sucker the fans into believing nothing was happening.  I snapped up when the music hit, which is the sign of a good surprise.

This brings us to the winner, which ironically is kind of obvious.

Mark Henry fakes retirement.  it led to a one off match, it doesn’t hold up incredibly well when you look at the details, but it was AWESOME live.  I completely bought that Henry was retiring and that this was the end for him.  The speech was great, the reaction was great, and the turn was great.  I loved this and it was another example of why Mark Henry is underrated.

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I believe this has the most options.I’ll go through some nominees as usual.

Bully Ray.  Ray won the title in a moment that didn’t surprise many people, but his title reign went well for the most part.  The biggest thing lacking was major title defenses, though it’s not fair to blame that on Ray.  On top of that, it was pretty clear that he was losing the belt at BFG no matter what.

Dean Ambrose.  This started off promisingly but turned into the same midcard title reign you see every time.

Shield.  Now we get into some of the interesting stuff.  This is a good example of a title reign that started and ended well, with Shield looking dominant up until their reign, looking dominant in their reign, and losing the titles in an awesome match.  This is probably second on my list.

Rhodes Brothers. The problem here is similar to Ambrose: too many losses.  Despite an amazing title win and some great defenses, the Brothers keep losing matches that they shouldn’t be losing, presumably leading to a split and Goldust vs. Cody match at Wrestlemania because someone said that was a good idea years ago and that’s what we’re getting, great tag team or not.

I’m going to leave out Del Rio and Orton’s reigns as neither of them did anything for me at all.  Del Rio is just dull and Orton spent his time being handed the title back over and over.  Cena’s title reigns were really nothing all that special either.

Actually I’m going with AJ Lee.  This is a rare occurrence of someone cleaning out of a division and having no one left to challenge her.  She even has her moment with the Total Divas promo and has made me cheer for her every time she’s made one of those nitwits (or Natalya) tap out.  She’s closing in on the record for longest Divas Title reign and has looked dominant (and cute) while doing so.  It’s AJ by a few touchdowns.

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Smackdown
Date: December 27, 2013
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s the final blue show of the year and I don’t remember anything being announced on Raw. The main story from Monday was Big E. Langston/Cena/Punk running off the Shield after being them for the DQ, meaning it’s payback time tonight. We’re getting closer to the Rumble and have less than 100 days until Wrestlemania so the times are getting exciting. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Cena to get things going. After looking at a clip of the end of Raw, Cena says the last Smackdown of the year is even more important than that. Tonight the WWE Universe is going to ring in the new year so we need NOISE. They have to have fun tonight because after the new year everyone has to worry about new year’s resolutions.

Cena would like to give a bear hug to a real bear or star in a 1-800-Fella commercial or land the lead role in a musical production of No Holds Barred (dead silence on that line) or make a hip hop album with Great Khali (lukewarm) or reboot an animated Manimal series with Michael Cole in the lead role or, and only if he has time, get started early on his XFL fantasy team (nice chuckle).

There’s one other thing he wants to do: gain forty pounds. Luckily for him he doesn’t have to wait for the new year because the WWE World Heavyweight Championship weighs about forty pounds and he has a rematch clause. If Orton is listening he can get out here right now but instead here’s Shield. They surround the ring and easily take Cena down but here’s Mark Henry for the save. When that doesn’t work, Big E. Langston comes out for the real save to clear the ring. Kane comes out on stage and makes three singles matches for tonight: Langston vs. Ambrose (non-title), Reigns vs. Henry and Rollins vs. Cena.

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Before the match we get a clip of the Family throwing Bryan off a ledge last week. The Usos send the monsters to the floor and Jey takes Rowan down with a dive. Jimmy gets two off a rollup to Harper and a Whisper in the Wind gets the same. Rowan makes a blind tag and takes Jimmy’s head off with a clothesline. A splash is enough to pin Jimmy in just 1:10.

Post match Bray gives Jey Sister Abigail.

Renee Young asks Randy Orton if he has any new year’s resolutions. Orton says he’s beaten everyone else in the company so maybe he’ll win the Royal Rumble so he can spend Wrestlemania in a skybox writing his Hall of Fame introduction speech. Ziggler comes up and says he’ll shut Orton up tonight. Orton promises an RKO until Kane comes in to make the match for later. Ziggler leaves and Kane says backstage must be a safe zone, but out there anything goes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Antonio Cesaro

Colter’s sign this week: “Press 1 for English, press 2 for INS.” Cesaro is now residing in the US. This is fallout from Main Event when Cody went after Cesaro for interfering in a Swagger vs. Goldust match. Cody grabs a headlock to start as the announcers talk about Kane being the eyes and ears of the Authority tonight. Cody takes Cesaro to the mat and then out to the floor where Goldust gives Antonio a deep breath.

Back in and Cesaro punches Cody in the jaw and kicks him out to the floor. After a Goldust staredown leads nowhere, Cesaro takes Rhodes back inside for a pummeling in the corner. Cody quickly breaks out of a chinlock and comes back with a front suplex for two but a Swagger distraction lets Cesaro get in a cheap shot and a rollup for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Another match that changes nothing as we wait for the title match that may never come. I’m not a fan of champions losing but at least this was a singles match instead of yet another tag loss. On the good side though, Cesaro getting a pin in a singles match is a nice thing to see and hopefully the first of many.

Prime Time Players vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

I refuse to refer to them as “Rybaxel.” Ryback pounds on Young to start but Darren scores with a right hand to the jaw and a dropkick to the knee. Off to Titus for the front suplex to Darren onto Ryback for no cover. A hard shoulder puts Ryback down but Axel gets in a knee to O’Neil’s back to take him down. Curtis chokes him in the corner (“BARK LIKE A DOG!”) before it’s quickly back to Ryback for a front facelock.

The heels take turns on O’Neil in the corner with Axel slapping him in the back of the head, only to run into a big boot. Darren gets the tag and scores with an overhead belly to belly on Axel before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Everything breaks down and Ryback is clotheslined to the floor, allowing Young to pin Axel at 4:51.

Rating: D+. The underlying problems with the tag division continues: it doesn’t matter if you build up teams if the teams are boring and keep trading meaningless wins with no advancement in sight. This match doesn’t change anything for either team and doesn’t move the Players up towards a title program, at least not anytime soon.

We get a clip from the 50 Years of WWE DVD focusing on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler

Another non-title match. Ziggler now has a streak of pink hair which leaves JBL stunned. Dolph gets taken into the corner but comes back with a shot to the jaw to send the champion out to the floor. Back in and Orton headlocks him down and takes Ziggler’s head off with a clothesline. Dolph comes back with right hands in the corner and the big jumping elbow for two. I guess the ten elbow drops spot is long gone.

Orton pulls Ziggler face first into the middle buckle to take over again and walks around very slowly. He walks around too long though and Ziggler gets in a dropkick, sending Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton stomping away on a fallen Ziggler. Randy puts on a reverse chinlock for a bit but Ziggler gets out with a jawbreaker. Dolph pounds away in the corner and scores with a neckbreaker before getting two off a neckbreaker.

The Fameasser misses but Ziggler avoids the powerslam and gets two off a jumping DDT. Dolph gets crotched on the top but breaks up a superplex attempt. A bad looking missile dropkick gets two and Orton is sent shoulder first into the post (same thing Orton did to him during a break). A bulldog gets two for Ziggy but Orton pokes him in the eye and RKOs Ziggler for the pin at 13:20.

Rating: B-. I like the ending with Orton taking the easy way out again, just like Cena accused him of doing leading up to TLC. The match was the usual good stuff from these guys as they’ve shown that they have chemistry. Ziggler getting to show off a little bit is much better than seeing him in nothing matches against Fandango.

Post match Orton takes Ziggler outside and gives him the Elevated DDT off the barricade.

Shield says they’ll win all their matches tonight. Cena vs. Rollins sounds promising.

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow

JBL wants to know why there was a good Santa and a bad Santa on Monday. Cole: “That’s the way the story was written?” JBL: “WHAT KIND OF AN ANSWER IS THAT???” Bryan fires off some kicks in the corner to start followed by some knees to the ribs to put Sandow down. Damien comes back with some forearms to the back and sends Daniel out to the floor. The Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two and we hit the crossface chickenwing. Back up and Bryan hits the running clothesline and dropkick in the corner to set up the top rope hurricanrana. The YES Kicks set up the running knee for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here for Bryan in the kind of matches I wouldn’t mind seeing more of. Well, more of as long as the opponents change every now and then and we don’t have to sit through the same pairing every week. Sandow doesn’t lose anything here as he’s not ready to beat someone on Bryan’s level so there’s nothing bad in this whole thing.

Post match Bray appears on stage and says he realizes that Bryan is the one the people want. That means Bray has to destroy him.

Dean Ambrose vs. Big E. Langston

Neither title is on the line. In addition to the other Shield members, Cena and Henry are both at ringside as well. Langston shoves Ambrose into the corner to start and drives shoulders into the ribs but gets clotheslined down. Dean pounds away with rights and lefts on the mat before hitting the running dropkick against the ropes.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ambrose goes up top, only to be slammed down like a ham sandwich being thrown off a cliff. A belly to belly puts Ambrose down again but he sends Langston to the floor for a standoff. No brawling ensues and Ambrose throws Langston back inside, only to have the big man run Dean over, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 2:46. That was close. I thought they wouldn’t have Ambrose job clean again before the year was out.

Reigns comes in for the showdown with Langston but Henry moves Big E. out of the way.

Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns wants a test of strength to start but headbutts Henry instead. A hard clothesline sends Reigns to the floor and a headbutt from Henry puts him down. Back in and a big boot to the jaw puts Reigns down as the slow pace continues. Roman snaps Henry’s throat across the top rope and gets two off the Superman Punch. We hit a chinlock on Henry for a bit but he comes back with the JYD headbutts. Reigns will have nothing to do with that jive turkey nonsense and lifts Henry up for a Samoan drop. Another Superman Punch and the spear are good for the pin on Mark at 4:01.

Rating: D. Reigns looked good but he had to work through a lot of Mark Henry suck. It’s a good sign that he’s pinning former world champions clean in four minutes though. There’s a BIG future for Reigns and the fact that these wins are becoming more and more natural are telling signs for him.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

There’s a lot of time left for this. Cena quickly takes him down and works on a hammerlock. Back up and Cena sends Seth to the floor with a hiptoss for a meeting with Shield. Back in and Rollins gets in some shots to knock Cena into the corner. Rollins blocks a bulldog and drops a knee for two before putting on a cobra clutch of all things. Cena tries to fight out and gets caught in a one arm camel clutch, only to fight up and drive Rollins into the corner to escape.

Rollins gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging John and gets two off a neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Rollins firing off right hands to the jaw. Cena is sent into the corner but he reverses a whip into the corner to put both guys down again. John tries a comeback but gets caught in a quick Downward Spiral into the middle buckle. Rollins does You Can’t See Me but Cena counters a neckbreaker into the ProtoBomb and hits the Shuffle. Rollins flips out of the AA and hits a Buff Blockbuster (that’s a finisher that needs to be pulled out of mothballs) for two.

Cena gets taken down by a Stinger Splash but avoids the second attempt. He grabs a half nelson and lifts Rollins up before spinning into what was supposed to be a neckbreaker. Cena landed a foot or so away from Rollins but luckily the move could have passed for a half nelson slam. Rollins kicks out at two so Cena goes up, only to get knocked down to the mat.

The standing Sliced Bread #2 gets another near fall for Seth but Cena comes back with a Batista Bomb (not gimmick infringement just yet) for two. Cena tries to pull Rollins away from the ropes but Seth lands on his feet again and hits a jumping enziguri for a VERY close two. Rollins gets the same off a top rope knee to the face and the frustration sets in. The Black Out (running curb stomp) is countered in the STF but Rollins is into the ropes before too much damage can be done.

Ambrose tries to come in but gets picked off by Langston before he can make any contact. Dean is thrown over the announce table but Reigns hits a running clothesline to drop Langston. Henry throws Reigns onto Ambrose as Cena rolls through Rollins’ cross body into the AA for the pin at 17:40.

Rating: B+. I was digging the heck out of this match and I was so glad that the ending wasn’t a DQ. Rollins looked outstanding in there as he continues to prove his worth once the Shield breaks up. I could see him being the next Kofi Kingston, having awesome matches with anyone they put him out there with but never getting the big break. That’s not a bad career to have at all.

Overall Rating: B-. This took some time to get going and the main event was by far the best part of the show. The first half of the show is only ok but the Orton vs. Ziggler match along with Rollins vs. Cena more than make up for it. This was using the old formula of wrestling on Smackdown and that’s what was needed after a more entertainment based Raw. It’s a nice way to close out the year and hopefully a good way to get us into 2014.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Splash to Jimmy

Antonio Cesaro b. Cody Rhodes – Rollup

Prime Time Players b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Rollup to Axel

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Daniel Bryan b. Damien Sandow – Running knee

Big E. Langston b. Dean Ambrose – Big Ending

Roman Reigns b. Mark Henry – Spear

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – AA

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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This was going to be my second column for the newsletter but that’s been put on hold for now.  I might try to do more of these if they go over well.

TLC has come and gone and of course the biggest story is title unification. Instead of the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship, we now have the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Barring a major surprise, the title will be represented by the WWE Championship going forward as there’s almost no way a belt will debut and be retired in less than one year.

The World Heavyweight Championship will be leaving us soon and that makes me a sad KB. Therefore, I present to you my Ode to the Big Gold Belt.

First off, the title itself is just good looking. It’s really as simple as that. Look at the World Heavyweight Championship and tell me it doesn’t look awesome. The design was introduced for Ric Flair back in 1986 because promoter Jim Crockett thought a wrestler larger than life like Flair needed a larger than life title. The belt makes anyone look like a champion and is so classy and elegant that it makes anything else pale in comparison.

Another thing the title did was give some people a chance. Over the last eleven years the World Heavyweight Championship has allowed some wrestlers to become a world champion when they wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Names like Booker T, Jack Swagger, Kane, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry and Christian weren’t going to win the top title in the company but the World Heavyweight Championship allowed them to be called a world champion for the rest of their lives.

Next up are four simple worlds: Money in the Bank. While the concept has been run into the ground over the years, there are a few moments where the World Heavyweight Championship cash-in blew the roof off the arena. The biggest moment of all these: Dolph Ziggler the night after Wrestlemania 29. Think back to that moment and remember how insane the arena went when his music hit. The place came unglued and Ziggler won the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time (yes it was his second reign but the first time the belt was awarded, not won).

On top of the moments the title has given us, it has also given us some incredible matches. Over the years there have been classics for the World Heavyweight Championship such as Randy Orton vs. Christian, Undertaker vs. Edge, Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. At the top of the list though is the main event of Wrestlemania 20, with Chris Benoit defeating Shawn Michaels and HHH in an absolute masterpiece for the title. Benoit winning the title by making HHH tap out in the middle of the ring in Madison Square Garden is as perfect of a way to win the title as you can possibly find.

Last but not least, the title served as a nice historical reference. While the history of the title isn’t what the WWE would have you believe (that’s a long story for another time but in short, the title being called the same as the NWA Title is nonsense. At best the title can be traced back to 1991 and that’s stretching further than humanly possible), the design of the title is something that brings back memories of an era long since passed. With wrestling changing as much as it has in the last few years, it’s nice to be able to remember a simpler time.

Overall the World Heavyweight Championship represents an era of WWE. Over the last decade plus it has given us everything from nostalgia to great matches to pops that blew the roof off. I’m sad to see it go as it meant a lot over the years, even when it was little more than a midcard title. Here’s to you Big Gold Belt. May you shine on forever.