Royal Rumble 2014 (2024 Edition): They Missed The Point

Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,715
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the Rumble I wanted to look at this year as it is one o the most influential of all time while also being one of the most infamous. There are some other matches on the card, but this is all about the Rumble itself, or at least someone who isn’t taking part this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Rhodes and Goldust are defending in a match that is almost bizarre to see today. Cody takes Dogg down to start as commentary immediately ignores the match to hype up the Royal Rumble. Gunn comes in and gets clotheslined outside, setting up a dive from Cody as we take a break.

Back with the referee checking on Goldust as JBL notes that this is NOT a classic match but rather fresh content. I’m not sure that sounds as good as he thinks. Goldust fights out of the corner and hits a sunset bomb as commentary says Gunn never ages. A clothesline takes Gunn down and it’s Cody coming in to clean house. Cody scores with a springboard double missile dropkick (JBL: “Great move by Dusty’s other son!”) and Cross Rhodes gets two, with Gunn making the save. Gunn comes in off a blind tag and hits a Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:31

Rating: C. This was nothing of note from an in-ring perspective but they did something big here by having the titles change hands. The Outlaws winning again is a a big surprise and while it’s little more than nostalgia, it still felt kind of cool. Then again, it’s a shame to see the brothers lose, as they certainly had some potential to be a bigger deal down the line. Not much of a match, but the moment made up for it.

The opening video looks at how this night means everything, with the Royal Rumble being about becoming the one. Tonight, the Road To Wrestlemania begins.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bryan is the hottest thing in the world right now but recently joined/turned on the Wyatt Family. That wasn’t cool with Bray (who has Erick Rowan and Luke Harper with him) so let’s have some revenge. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are here with Wyatt. The bell rings and Wyatt yells about Bryan trying to make a fool out of him. The fans aren’t quite in sync with their YES/DANIEL BRYAN chants as Bryan hammers away to start.

Back in and Bryan ties up the leg for a stomp as we’re in Vicious Bryan mode here. They fight to the apron where Wyatt twists him down by the arm as commentary talks about how bizarre Wyatt really is. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed another toss to send Bryan right back out to the floor.

Wyatt puts the head against the post and slugs away, with commentary pointing out Bryan’s recent concussion worries. The backsplash crushes Bryan, with Wyatt asking why the fans didn’t help Bryan. Back in and the chinlock goes on again, with looking bored yet eerie at the same time. Wyatt busts out the spider walk, leaving commentary cracking up about the Exorcist as they completely miss the point of a spot like that. The chinlock goes on again but Wyatt misses an elbow.

Bryan fires off the kicks and sends a charging Wyatt face first into the middle buckle. The super hurricanrana gives Bryan two and he moonsaults over Wyatt, who cuts him off hard with the running body block. Bryan manages to knock him back to the floor and there’s a heck of a diving tornado DDT. A running dropkick against the barricade sets up the YES Kicks back inside as Wyatt is in trouble.

Some running dropkicks in the corner connect but Wyatt has to go for one more, allowing Bray to hit one of the biggest clotheslines I’ve seen in a long time. The YES Lock goes but Wyatt is too close to the ropes. Instead Bryan kicks him out to to the floor, where Wyatt pulls the suicide dive out of the air. Sister Abigail to the barricade and another in the ring finish Bryan off at 21:34.

Rating: A-. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a heck of a match as a result. What matters is Wyatt getting the win, which was quite the rarity of him at this point. Bryan lost clean with the Family being sent out early, which gives Wyatt one of the biggest wins of his career. This was about two guys having a fight because they can’t stand each other and it made for a great one.

Paul Heyman wants Brock Lesnar to challenge the winner of Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the World Title, but Big Show is standing in his way. Not that it matters of course though, because Lesnar is going to conquer.

We go to the Kickoff Show panel (Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and Shawn Michaels), with Shawn saying Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan are the future of WWE. Shawn is putting his chips on Bryan in any match and when it turns, it’s turning big time. Flair on the other hand will pick Brock Lesnar over Roman Reigns any day. Duggan is just kind of there.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Show gets up so we ring the bell, with Show managing a KO Punch to send Lesnar outside. Some more shots knock Lesnar around at ringside before they get back inside, where Show drops him with a shot to the ribs. The KO Punch misses though and Lesnar muscles him up (almost dropping him but roaring until he gets it) for the F5 and the pin at 2:02. This was more of an angle than a match but screaming Lesnar is a terrifying human being.

Post match Lesnar unloads on Show with the chair for a rather good while. The chair actually breaks so Heyman tosses in another to keep up the beating.

Shield is ready to win the Royal Rumble but they won’t tell each other their numbers.

Randy Orton is ready to beat John Cena one more time and send him to the back of the line. Renee Young brings up the list of people who want the title but Orton shrugs all of it off.

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton. They unified the two World Titles last month at TLC with Orton taking them both, mainly due to a variety of weapons. Now Cena gets a clean rematch, so Orton attacked Cena’s dad to make it personal, because THESE TWO need a reason to fight.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is challenging and takes him down into a quickly broken headscissors. Orton grabs a headlock into a suplex, followed by some headbutts to keep Cena down. Another headlock is reversed into a Liontamer attempt of all things but Orton kicks him outside without much trouble. The chinlock goes on again and we hit the BORING chant about five minutes in. They go outside with Orton sending him into the barricade, followed by some posing back inside.

Orton takes too long posing though and it’s an electric chair off the top to cut him down. Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the AA is countered. Instead Cena grabs a nice neckbreaker and the top rope Fameasser, but the AA is countered again. This time Orton takes him outside for the hanging DDT onto the floor, which of course doesn’t finish a thing (as it’s just a DDT onto the floor).

Back in and Orton….eventually loads up the RKO but Cena pulls him into the ST. The rope is quickly grabbed so Cena tries the AA again, but this time the referee gets bumped. Cena gets the STF again and this time Orton taps, with no referee around. The delay lets Orton get in a belt shot and the delayed cover gets two. Orton again spends WAY too much time posing, allowing Cena to grab the AA for two more.

A quick RKO gives Orton two of his own as they’re firmly in the trading finishers portion. The fans chant what sounds like WE WANT DIVAS but Orton mixes it up with his own STF. Cena slips out and grabs a crossface, which is reversed into an AA from Orton for two more. As you might guess, Cena’s ensuing RKO gets two so he puts Orton up top. The super AA is blocked so Cena grabs a tornado DDT into the STF. Orton is in trouble….and we’ve got Wyatts. Cena fights them off and that’s enough of a distraction for Orton to grab the RKO for the pin at 20:55.

Rating: B. This feels like a match that is much better if you’re away from the feud. Orton and Cena feuded for so long that it stopped having any kind of interest and the fans were pretty clearly sick of them. I can’t say I blame them either, as Orton vs. Cena was done to death for a very long time. The worst part is they had a good match with the trading finishers being something different from them. The Wyatts’ interference was certainly a surprise, and you can pretty clearly see a Wrestlemania showdown coming from here. Good match though, even if the fans weren’t interested.

Post match the Wyatts wreck Cena again to lave him laying. The Wyatts leave, with a bewildered Cena following.

Mae Young tribute video and you better believe Stephanie McMahon is narrating.

The New Age Outlaws show Renee Young how to do their introduction. They have two words for her: new champs.

Miz is going to win the Royal Rumble because he’ll do whatever it takes.

The Usos are ready to go on to main event Wrestlemania.

Big E. Langston (when he had a last name) is winning because that’s where it’s at.

Fandango says his name rather breathily.

Batista: “Exactly.”

Damien Sandow isn’t going to make mistakes.

Ryback is a human wrecking ball in a match full of superstars.

Rey Mysterio is going to win the Royal Rumble again.

The pre-show panel give their picks:

Jim Duggan: Dolph Ziggler

Shawn Michaels: the Shield or CM Punk

Ric Flair: Batista

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, CM Punk is in at #1 and Seth Rollins is in at #2. Punk slugs away to start and strikes away but they trade running shots in the corner. They’re both down and it’s Damien Sandow in at #3. Punk fights out of a double team with a DDT/neckbreaker combination but can’t get Rollins out. Cody Rhodes is in at #4 and goes right at it with Sandow (they don’t like each other), including Cross Rhodes. Punk tosses Sandow (who is shocked) and Kane (now corporate) is in at #5.

Swagger and Rusev have the big showdown until a bunch of people go after the latter. Kofi Kingston is in at #8 and goes after Punk, who is down on the apron. With no one getting anywhere, Jimmy Uso is in at #9. Uso headbutts and strikes away but can’t toss anyone either. Goldust is in at #10, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Rusev, Swagger, Kingston, Uso and Goldust at the one third mark.

A bunch of people get together to toss Rusev, who pulls Kofi back out (not eliminated). Kofi is laid on the barricade….which he walks down and then dives onto the apron to get back in with a heck of a leaping save. With the collective gasp over, Dean Ambrose is in at #11. That doesn’t exactly go anywhere so it’s Dolph Ziggler in at #12 with a missile dropkick to Ambrose. The ring is getting full and R-Truth is in at #13 to make it even worse.

Ambrose wastes no time in getting rid of Truth and Uso is out as well to clear the ring a bit. Kofi is sent to the apron but hangs on by his feet, even pulling off Swagger’s boot in the process. A boot to the head lets Kofi pull himself back in and it’s Kevin Nash (oh dear) in at #14. Nash knocks Swagger out before going after the Shield, who gets even stronger with Roman Reigns in at #15.

The apron dropkick hits Rhodes and a spear takes him down as well. Reigns headbutts Nash in the chest and dumps Kofi, only to get DDTed by Ziggler. That earns Ziggler a spear and he’s out rather quickly. Reigns low bridges Nash out and it’s Great Khali in at #16. The Shield wastes no time in getting rid of Khali, followed by Reigns tossing Rhodes and Goldust back to back. The TripleBomb is loaded up on Punk but the returning Sheamus is in at #17.

The ten forearms to the chest have Ambrose in trouble and the Irish Curse hits Rollins. There’s the Brogue Kick to Reigns as Sheamus is the only one let standing. The numbers have Sheamus in trouble though and it’s Miz in at #18. That doesn’t go anywhere (much like Punk, who is down in the corner holding his head with a referee talking to him) and it’s Fandango in at #19. El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito at the 2/3 mark.

Torito goes after the once again standing Punk, wh grabs him by the head but gets headscissored. A springboard missile dropkick actually eliminates Fandango but Reigns throws Torito out without much trouble. Antonio Cesaro is in at #21 (with Zeb Colter, whose sign says “you could time it yourself but they stole your watch) and starts with the Swinging. Rollins gets the big extended version and it’s Luke Harper in at #22. Rollins survives an elimination attempt and Reigns spears Cesaro. Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23.

Everyone brawls near the roles and it’s JBL in at #24, with Cole getting in the cringe worthy line of “the JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble”. JBL tells Cole to come take his coat and is quickly tossed by Reigns. Erick Rowan is in at #25 as the fans are a bit quiet here. Harper gets rid of Miz and Uso quickly follows suit. We get the big Shield vs. Wyatts showdown as Ryback is in at #26.

The GOLDBERG chants begin as Sheamus and Cesaro trade forearms. JBL: “That wasn’t a move. That was I’M GOING TO THROW MY FIST INTO YOUR FACE!” Alberto del Rio is in at #27 and no one goes anywhere. Batista (there’s the reaction, albeit not the most positive) is in at #28 and gets rid of Rowan, setting up a showdown with Ryback. A charge into the corner goes badly for Ryback, who gets backdropped out.

Del Rio kicks Batista in the face and is eliminated or his efforts. Big E. Langston is in at #29 for a bunch of backbreakers to Sheamus, who manages to hang on. The brawling on the ropes continues until Rey Mysterio is in at #30. That gives us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro, Harper, Batista, Langston and Mysterio.

Now this bring us to the important part of the match: Rey Mysterio is not Daniel Bryan. The fans were doing the YES pose before Mysterio came out, and then it just fell apart. You could see fans looking around, wondering why this was anyone but Bryan as it is clear that this is NOT the right spot. Mysterio is an all time legend, but the fans do not want to see him here right now and the DANIEL BRYAN chants are on.

Mysterio and Punk both have to hang on to get back in as the booing continues. Sheamus gets rid of Big E., leaving Harper and Cesaro to strike it out. The 619 hits Rollins and the fans are just openly booing now. Rollins is back up with an enziguri to get rid of Mysterio and for one of the only times ever, the fans are happy to see Mysterio eliminated. The fans are chanting for Bryan as Reigns Superman Punches Harper out….but Ambrose tries to toss Reigns.

That lets Cesaro almost eliminate Rollins and Ambrose but Reigns tosses all three of them at once in a pretty awesome visual. That ties the single match elimination record for Reigns, while leaving us with Reigns, Punk, Sheamus and Batista. Cue Kane to eliminate Punk though and unload on him next to the barricade. The beating is on and Kane chokeslams Punk through the announcers’ table, giving us what would wind up being Punk’s last appearance for almost ten years.

The fans are still chanting for Bryan as the other three pull themselves up. Batista powerslams Reigns and the fans chant NO as they know where this is going. Sheamus gives Batista a Regal Roll but misses the Brogue Kick as Batista falls down, with the ans booing even more. Batista backdrops Sheamus to the apron and Reigns gets the record as we’re one on one. The fans are suddenly WAY behind Reigns but Batista cuts him off with a spear. Batista tosses Reigns for the win at 55:08.

Rating: C+. Where do you start with this one? The match certainly has its moments and there is star power throughout, with Reigns feeling like the biggest monster in the world. While some of those eliminations might have felt a little cheap, Reigns did set the record and it was quite the impressive feat. Other than that, you had the Shield vs. the Wyatts and it was a good enough Rumble.

Except for that one big thing. I have never heard a crowd turn on a match like that and it was a fascinating thing to see. At the end of the day, this was the fans outright rejecting what WWE was presenting them and there is no way around it. The fans wanted Bryan and rejected everything else when they didn’t get him. It also doesn’t help that Batista was slotted into the spot no matter what the people wanted and this was the result. It would only get worse, leading to an all time Wrestlemania. At the time though, it was one of the most tone deaf moments WWE could have had and brought a pretty good Rumble WAY down.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a VERY weird show as the main event outweighs everything else, even though the rest of the show was rather good. The World Title match was better than average and the opener was a smash, with Lesnar wrecking Big Show stuck in the middle. Then there’s the Rumble, which is overshadowed by the last five or ten minutes. It’s a show, and main event, unlike any other and that is why I wanted to see it again.

 

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Smackdown – January 19, 2024: By Any Name

Smackdown
Date: January 19, 2024
Location: State Farm Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

It’s a big week as Roman Reigns is back, this time for the four way contract signing for the Royal Rumble title match. That alone should be enough to carry the show, though we still have the rest of the Smackdown side of the card to be set up. That should include some new Rumble participants, which can make for some interesting moments. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event, with Randy Orton showing up at the end to score the win.

The Bloodline welcomes Roman Reigns, who says he’s here to fix things. With Reigns gone, Solo Sikoa says he’ll fix everything.

Here is Nick Aldis to emcee the contract signing, meaning we get AJ Styles (who signs before anyone else can come out), LA Knight (signs as soon as he comes out), Randy Orton (three signatures) and….well Paul Heyman, who wants to look over the contract before Roman Reigns signs. Aldis says that’s fine, because the three who have signed can wrestle for the VACANT WWE Universal Title.

Heyman gets on the apron to say he admires the mediocre job that Aldis has done. He praises Aldis’ fashion sense but says no one can sell this kind of decision to anyone, because Reigns should be defending the title in a one on one match. Knight cuts it off and says that one on one match should be his, because the Bloodline cost him the title at Crown Jewel. Styles says Knight walked over him to get the title shot and the fight is on, leaving Orton to grab Heyman by the tie. Orton promises to take out Solo Sikoa tonight and then go on to RKO Reigns at the Royal Rumble. Good stuff here and it set up at least one match tonight.

Post break, AJ Styles gets a match with LA Knight made for tonight.

LWO vs. Legado del Fantasma

Zelina Vega is here with the LWO. Escobar bails from Carlito to start, allowing Angel to get in a cheap shot from behind. Del Toro comes in and springboards onto Angel, with Wilde coming in to take over. Humberto comes in and the LWO hit stereo dives to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Wilde in trouble and being dragged into the wrong corner so Garza can hit a running dropkick to the ribs. Wilde manages to flip into the air for a DDT (that was sweet and left Escobar stunned), allowing the hot tag off to Carlito. House is cleaned but Humberto hits a nice springboard spinning kick to Carlito’s face. Back up and Carlito hits Humberto with a chokebomb into the Backstabber. Escobar makes a blind tag though and rolls Carlito up for the pin at 8:25.

Rating: C+. They kept this moving as you might have expected but it still feels like they’re just killing time until we get to the big Escobar vs. Rey Mysterio showdown. Bringing back Legado is a good thing as there’s already a history to the team and we could get a nice variety of matches out of the thing. This was a good start and Carlito can take a bunch of losses without really being hurt.

Pretty Deadly is ready to face Tyler Bate and Butch.

Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits are ready for the Final Testament. Just name the time and the place.

Pretty Deadly vs. Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne

Yes Pete Dunne as the long awaited name change has FINALLY come through. Bate takes over on Wilson to start and hands it off to Dunne for some finger cranking. An armbar and leg stomp have various parts of Wilson in varying degrees of pain, followed by Bate’s airplane spin to the floor. We take a break and come back with Bate getting caught in the corner for a running uppercut. The chinlock doesn’t last long though as Bate gets over to Dunne for the tag to initiate the house cleaning. Bate takes out Wilson, leaving Dunne to give Prince the Bitter End for the pin at 7:22.

Rating: C+. This was all about one thing and it worked well, as this was the more aggressive Dunne, who looked good in his return. It’s not some huge change from Butch but there is a certain edge to him that wasn’t there before. Thankfully they’ve done what should have happened a long time ago and Dunne clearly still knows how to be his old self.

We recap Logan Paul vs. Kevin Owens, with Paul threatening Owens with a lawsuit over a shot with the cast.

Pretty Deadly is livid over it being Pete Dunne instead of Butch and swear no more.

Here is Kevin Owens for the KO Show. Owens isn’t happy about it but introduces his guest: Logan Paul. Cue Paul, who says he would be honored to be here but he isn’t. It’s his show now because he is the show. Owens might not know it, but he is the reason Paul is in WWE. We see a clip of Owens Stunnering him at Wrestlemania XXXVII, which made 70,000 people cheer. That was when he realized he needed to show the world he could do this, though Owens says he barely remembers it.

Paul was just one of the people Owens Stunned, but yes Paul did become really good at this. At the end of the day though, Paul isn’t one of them and certainly isn’t a Kevin Owens. Paul: “Thank God!” Paul talks about everything he has done and everything he has accomplished, while Owens is just himself. Owens: “I don’t know what any of that meant.” He calls Paul a joke and that joke will end at the Royal Rumble.

Paul says he wasn’t listening to any of that and we hear about their knockout abilities. He’s ready to KO KO, who reminds Paul of how much punishment he can take. Owens goes to take off the cast but Paul decks him, setting off the brawl. Paul gets in another cheap shot and stands tall to wrap it up. The match and story are already set so it’s nice to see some extra building, with Paul having a motivation of his own.

Roman Reigns yells at the Bloodline but Solo Sikoa steps up to say last week was on him. Tonight, he’ll fix things.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kayden Carter/Katana Chance vs. Unholy Union

The Union (Alba Fyre/Isla Dawn) is challenging and Damage CTRL is on commentary. Carter gets jumped to start and a running knee gives Dawn two. A superkick gets the same but Carter gets back up and takes Dawn into the corner. Chance hurricanranas Dawn down onto Fyre for two but Dawn gets in a cheap shot. Fyre’s rollup gets two but it’s a Canadian Destroyer into into the assisted spinning moonsault for the pin to retain at 2:52.

Post match the Kabuki Warriors take the title belts and seem to get a title shot.

We get a quick tribute to Pat Patterson, who started the Royal Rumble and would have turned 83 today.

The Final Testament is ready to hurt Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits next week.

We look at Carmelo Hayes vs. Austin Theory ending in a no contest last week.

Hayes says he’d love to face Theory again so here is Theory to say…well he doesn’t want to do it again next week. Grayson Waller accepts for him, with Theory saying Waller has to quit doing that.

AJ Styles vs. LA Knight

Knight slugs away to start and hits a quick belly to back suplex. Styles grabs a rather hard headlock on the mat though, with Knight having to send him into the corner. Back up and Styles strikes away, only to have Knight punch his way out of trouble. Knight’s powerslam connects but Styles avoids a running knee in the corner. Styles sends him into the barricade, only to have Knight drive him face first into the announcers’ table instead. Cue Jimmy Uso for a distraction, with Solo Sikoa coming in to Spike Knight for the DQ at 4:45.

Rating: C. They started fast here but the match was more of a way to set up the main event than anything else. You don’t want one of them taking a fall on the way to the Royal Rumble so having Sikoa Spike one of them for the DQ was the smart way to go. Not much of a match, but they’re saving the big stuff for the Rumble.

Post match Sikoa Spikes Styles as well before saying “two down and one to go”. He wants Randy Orton out here night, but we’ll have to wait for a break.

Randy Orton vs. Solo Sikoa

Nick Aldis, with contract, is at ringside. The beating is on fast and Orton is knocked into the corner. The running hip attack connects and Orton is sent outside as we take an early break. Back with Orton throwing Sikoa over the announcers’ desk and hitting the hanging DDT. Cue Jimmy Uso but LA Knight cuts him off, sending Uso running…right into AJ Styles. That brings Styles to the ring, allowing Sikoa to load up the Spike. Orton isn’t having that though and RKO’s him for the pin at 5:18. Not enough shown to rate but the last two matches were pretty much all one big angle.

Post match Knight drops Styles but gets RKO’ed. Styles gets one of his own but Reigns comes in with the Superman Punch to Orton. Reigns signs and drops the contract in front of Aldis. The spear is loaded up…and countered into the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This definitely wasn’t a week about the wrestling, but the focus on the four way throughout the night was a good way to go and the Dunne reveal/return in the middle was a nice bonus. They threw a bunch of stuff out there in one night, though a good deal of it didn’t quite feel like it mattered. They got the important part though and if they don’t screw anything up next week, the Smackdown half of the Rumble is pretty set.

Results
Legado del Fantasma b. LWO – Rollup to Carlito
Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne b. Pretty Deadly – Bitter End to Prince
Kayden Carter/Katana Chance b. Unholy Union – Assisted spinning moonsault to Fyre
LA Knight b. AJ Styles via DQ when Solo Sikoa interfered
Randy Orton b. Solo Sikoa – RKO

 

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2011 (2020 Redo): When A Bad Mood Changes Things

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

It’s an interesting choice for the annual redo as 2011 is kind of a forgotten time. This was something closer to a transitional period for the company as they were trying some different people in the World Title scene, hence why the Miz is defending here. Other than that we need a card for Wrestlemania and things will start here, with the only edition of the Royal Rumble with FORTY entrants. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how winning the Royal Rumble can send you on the Road to Wrestlemania. The big draw is the forty man Rumble, which sounds more long than thrilling.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Edge (in a rare face role) is defending while Ziggler has Edge’s ex-wife (and his current girlfriend, as well as acting GM of Smackdown) in his corner. Since Vickie is rather evil, Edge loses the title if he uses a spear. They trade some shots to the ribs to start with Ziggler hammering him down in the corner, only to get whipped hard into the other corner. The announcers proceed to talk about Vickie, with Striker bragging about getting along with Lawler for a change.

Ziggler gets sent to the apron and Edge slips through the legs to send him face first onto said apron. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Ziggler two as neither is exactly pulling away so far. A boot to the face and a hanging neckbreaker keep Edge down and we’re already on the chinlock. That’s broken up and it’s a catapult to send Ziggler into the buckle, only for him to grab another neckbreaker for two more.

The chinlock goes on again as the neck work continues. At least he’s sticking with something. Ziggler sends him outside, rams him into the barricade, and grabs another chinlock. Edge finally gets up and hits a double crossbody to put them both down. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse for Ziggler and a flapjack puts him down again. I love a good flapjack so points for that. A jawbreaker gets Ziggler out of trouble but the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more.

Edge heads up top, shrugs off a superplex attempt, and hits a high crossbody with Ziggler rolling through for two. Striker gets WAY too excited over a not very near fall, but that’s Striker for you. Ziggler dropkicks him for two more but Edge is right back with the Edgecator (it’s been awhile on that one), sending Ziggler straight to the ropes. Back up and Ziggler hits the Fameasser for two and the fans are getting into things for the first time.

A big boot puts Ziggler down but Edge has to stop himself form using the spear, instead going with the Edgecution for two, with Vickie pulling the referee out. Vickie gets on the apron to slap the already annoyed Edge, drawing out Edge’s friend Kelly Kelly for the catfight. The distraction lets Ziggler hit a Zig Zag for two in a rather hot near fall.

The sleeper goes on but the referee gets bumped just before Edge jawbreaks his way to freedom. There’s no referee and no Vickie and there’s the spear to cut Ziggler down. Cole: “COME ON REF YOU FOOL!” The referee gets up and it’s an Unprettier to retain Edge’s title at 20:44.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the drama was there near the end. That being said, I’m not big on the idea being Edge can’t use the spear and then “oh well he used it anyway”. In this case there would actually be some fallout though so points for that for a change. It was a great example of the Royal Rumble World Title match: not an epic, but a good solid match that had some drama before the hero retained in the end.

We recap the Miz vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Miz cashed in Money in the Bank on Orton to win the title back in November and then beat him again to retain at TLC in a tables match. Tonight it’s just a singles match, because WWE didn’t know how to build to a gimmick match back then either. The idea here is that Miz is in WAY over his head but he’s ready to prove himself on the big stage.

Miz talks about how unfair his title reign has been because everyone says he shouldn’t be here. Riley promises Miz will win.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and Miz has Alex Riley (sweet goodness what could have been) in his corner. I had forgotten how annoying/stupid Cole as the Miz superfan really was. It’s also weird to not hear the “QUIET ON THE SET” intro to Miz’s music. Orton unloads on him in the corner to start as Cole wants Lawler to call this one down the middle. They head outside with Miz being rammed into the apron for two and Orton starts kicking at the ribs.

A catapult sends Miz throat first into the bottom rope as Cole talks about Miz being able to brawl if you want him do. Striker: “Who comes up to someone and says ‘I want to brawl with you.’?” And that’s why Striker is a pest. Orton stomps away but Riley, who went to Boston College, snaps Orton’s neck across the ropes to a big pop. A missed charge in the corner lets Miz stomp away and there’s the running corner clothesline for two. Miz chokes away as Cole compares the basketball games that Miz and Lawler are invited to.

Riley cheats again so Cole high fives him as Miz grabs a chinlock. A knee to the ribs and another to the face get two apiece and it’s back to the chinlock. That lets Cole compare Miz to Lou Thesz, Bob Backlund, Steve Austin and DX rolled into one. Ok he can be annoying but when he turns it up that high, it can be a little funny. Orton fights out but walks into a big boot for two. Miz gets crotched on top though and a superplex brings Miz down for two more.

The backbreaker sets up the hanging DDT but Miz backdrops his way out of trouble. Back in and a top rope ax handle gives Miz two more and he hammers away. Now it’s a reverse chinlock to really mix things up a bit. They head outside again with Orton bouncing off the post for a nine count, allowing him to come back in with a Thesz press and right hands. The powerslam sets up the Garvin Stomp and a big knee drop gets two.

Neither finisher can hit so Orton goes with an Angle Slam of all things. Miz tries to bail so Orton clotheslines him down and throws him back inside for two more. Now the hanging DDT connects and the RKO is loaded up, but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in so Orton throws him at the team, leaving Miz to take the RKO. Cue CM Punk, the leader of the New Nexus, with a GTS to Orton so Miz can retain at 19:50. Cole is literally jumping up and down in celebration.

Rating: C-. I’m a big Miz fan but some of these main event level matches just do not hold up all that well. What we got here wasn’t terrible but it also hit a firm ceiling and needed to be at least five minutes shorter. The ending set up something for the future and Orton vs. Punk should be good, but Miz still feels like he’s in over his head. That can make for a good heel, but the matches aren’t often the best.

Miz is stunned that he survived.

Cody Rhodes is too devastated by his recent facial injury at Rey Mysterio’s legs that he won’t be appearing tonight. It was his time to shine but now he will wait in the shadows. That’s the start of what could have been an incredibly awesome character. We wound up getting just an awesome one, so I’ll take what I can get.

Fans pick their Rumble winners. Some of them even gets them right.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Laycool is challenging after Natalya beat them in a handicap match at Survivor Series. Striker doesn’t think much of Natalya, again showing that Striker doesn’t need to exist. Hold on though as we have a message from the Anonymous Raw GM. There are a few changes to the match.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Natalya is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Laycool jumps them to start and takes over early on with Layla feeding Eve in for a clothesline from Michelle. A double Stroke plants Eve again as Striker asks Lawler to politely assess the Divas assets. Natalya gets back up and Striker tries to analyze things in that annoying way that only he can do so. Laycool clears the ring and that means it’s time for the awkward staredown.

That’s broken up as Natalya trips Layla and Eve rolls Michelle up for two. Natalya sweeps Eve’s legs but has to stack Layla on top of her for the double Sharpshooter. That’s broken up in a hurry as Lawler calls the hold a great photo op. Layla’s Layout puts Eve on the floor but Natalya is back up to take Laycool down. Michelle kicks Layla by mistake but Eve sends Natalya and Michelle outside. Eve’s moonsault finishes Layla at 5:12, even as Michelle has Natalya pinned at the same time.

Rating: C. This was a weird time for the women as they were far better in the ring than they were before but no one cared about this and the division was used as nothing more than filler. The wrestling wasn’t bad and there was a story, but you could see how unimportant all of this was in the grand scheme of things. I do miss Laycool though.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan, with girlfriend Gail Kim (oh yeah that was a thing), is ready to go from NXT rookie to World Champion, when the Bellas come in to apologize for trying to steal Bryan last week. The fight breaks out because they suggest they’re better than Gail, with referees not being able to break it up.

And now, the always popular (with me at least) Rumble By The Numbers:

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Forty entrants, ninety second intervals and CM Punk is in at #1 but here’s the Corre, as in all four of them, to surround the ring and jump him. The rest of the New Nexus comes in and the brawl is on but the GM emails in to say everyone but Punk needs to get out or be disqualified. Can you be disqualified from the Rumble? Anyway, Daniel Bryan is in at #2 for the geek out start. Punk shoulders him down to start and shouts as Striker talks about the internet loving this match.

Bryan grabs a fireman’s carry but can’t get Punk out as the CM PUNK chants start up in a hurry. A missile dropkick puts Punk down and it’s Justin Gabriel (of the Corre) in at #3. That means Punk gets beaten down in the corner but Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to toss him without much trouble. Zack Ryder, now a cocky heel with some song about a radio, is in at #4 and goes after Punk as well. Bryan breaks that up as well but tosses Ryder at Punk for an assisted Rough Ryder. Not that it matters as Bryan throws Ryder out a few seconds later.

William Regal is in at #5 and Striker is very pleased. Regal and Bryan uppercut it out and the internet smiles even more. Ted DiBiase Jr., with girlfriend Maryse is in at #6 and I’m having so many weird flashbacks to this forgotten era. Bryan kicks at Regal as DiBiase can’t get rid of Punk in a tag match I don’t really need to see. With that going nowhere, John Morrison is in at #7 and of course slingshots in to kick Regal in the head.

Morrison is sent outside in a hurry but he hangs onto the barricade like Spider-Man, crawls to the side, gets to his feet on the barricade, and dives to the steps for the save, inspiring a Jamaican named Kofi Kingston for years to come. As he defies….well something, Regal is dumped and it’s Yoshi Tatsu (with his AWESOME theme song) in at #8. We get some near eliminations with neither going anywhere so Husky Harris (New Nexus member) in in at #9. Striker: “If this kid looks like this at 23, what’s he going to look like at 30?” Eh bigger beard, carrying a lantern, kind of cultish. Maybe answers to the name Bray.

Harris cleans a bit of house and we rush to the next entry, with commentary pointing out how fast it is between Harris’ entry and Chavo Guerrero (the second Smackdown name, after Gabriel) coming in at #10. That gives us Punk, Bryan, DiBiase, Morrison, Tatsu, Harris, Henry and Chavo. Guerrero goes with Three Amigos to everyone he can find, with probably a dozen or so total. Striker: “Chavo Guerrero with a Royal Rumble moment!” Stop, please. Like, please. Mark Henry is in at #11 and this should clear the ring out a bit. Chavo is out in a hurry and Tatsu follows him until JTG is in at #12.

Everyone punches a lot and it’s Michael McGillicutty (Curtis Axel, also of the New Nexus) in at #13. JTG is dropkicked out in a hurry and the rest of the entrants start realizing that the New Nexus is getting too strong. DiBiase is backdropped out and it’s Chris Masters (HE STILL HAD A JOB???) in at #14. The Masterlock (not the Masterpiece Cole) has Punk in trouble but McGillicutty makes the save. David Otunga (ALSO New Nexus) is in at #15 and Punk gets rid of Bryan.

Masters follows him and the team dumps Morrison. That leaves New Nexus vs. Henry and it goes as well as you would expect for Mark, with the team clearing the ring. Tyler Reks (I barely remember him) is in at #16 and goes out as fast as you would expect. Vladimir Kozlov is in at #17 and gets the exact same treatment. R-Truth is in at #18 and manages to last a full minute (including Punk hitting a running knee in the corner and shouting “WHAT’S UP”) before getting tossed out.

Great Khali comes in at #19 for the hope spot and Punk hides behind Otunga in a smart move. Otunga goes at Khali, who isn’t smart enough to pull him out because he’s rather shove him away. Harris gets eliminated though but Mason Ryan (a musclehead from Wales and the final member of the New Nexus in the greatest luck of Rumble draws ever) is in at #20. That gives us Punk, McGillicutty, Otunga, Ryan and Khali but Ryan puts Khali out in a hurry. Booker T. returns in a huge surprise (and the kind that you need in the Royal Rumble) at #21 and Punk drops to his knees in panic.

Booker kicks everyone he can and gets in a Spinarooni but Punk and Ryan get him out. Punk smiles a lot (“WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!”)….and John Cena is in at #22. Cena counts all four of them and charges into the ring anyway with Ryan, Otunga and McGillicutty being knocked out in seconds, leaving Punk all alone. The eyes are bugging out and this is one heck of an underrated showdown. They knock each other down in a hurry and it’s Hornswoggle in at #23, playing Barbarian to Cena and Punk’s Hogan and Warrior.

Punk gets up and kicks Hornswoggle in the head, only to walk into an AA for the elimination. Tyson Kidd is in at #24 and gets double teamed, including a headscissors from Hornswoggle and an AA from Cena. Hornswoggle even gets in his own AA and Kidd is gone in a hurry. Heath Slater (Corre) is in at #25, takes a beating, and is out in less than a minute. Kofi Kingston comes in at #26 in a showdown that would be way more interesting nine years later (Daily trivia: Cena and Kofi have never had a singles match. You would think it would have happened in a one off at some point).

Kofi and Cena knock each other down and it’s Jack Swagger in at #27 to not do much, meaning it’s King Sheamus in at #28. Hornswoggle kicks him in the leg and gets Brogue Kicked out so Sheamus and Swagger can beat up the heroes. Rey Mysterio is in at #29 to pick up the pace and knock down everyone not named Sheamus, who blasts him with a clothesline. Trouble in Paradise puts Sheamus down instead and a 619 eliminates Swagger. Wade Barrett (the Corre’s leader) is in at #30, giving us Cena, Kingston, Sheamus, Mysterio and Barrett for a nice talent pool.

Kofi stomps Barrett down in the corner and it’s a banged up Dolph Ziggler in at #31. Mysterio saves Cena from being eliminated (with commentary talking about how smart he is to know you need friends in a match like this)….and DIESEL is in at #32 to a huge pop, which wound up wrecking a major storyline later in the year (Who would have called that?). Diesel cleans house to a big pop and it’s Drew McIntyre (almost unrecognizable compared to how he looks today) to hammer away, even as the LET’S GO DIESEL chants keep going.

Alex Riley is in at #34 and Miz joins him as Diesel is tossed out. Miz joins commentary and it’s Big Show in at #35. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him as Striker and Cole talk over each other so much that I actually can’t understand either of them. I know Cole is a character at this point but he’s lead commentator. In other words, again, shut up Striker. Show dumps McIntyre and it’s Ezekiel Jackson (a big musclehead, also of the Corre) in at #36 to dump Show in a hurry.

Santino Marella is in at #37 and gets knocked to the floor (not out) almost immediately. Alberto Del Rio (still brand new here) is in at #38 with Ricardo Rodriguez handling his intro. Riley is eliminated during his entrance and Mysterio spends too much time staring at Del Rio, allowing Sheamus to hit him from behind. Del Rio’s entrance takes so long that it’s Randy Orton in at #39 for the parade of RKOs.

Kofi and Sheamus are both out and it’s Kane in at #40, giving us a final grouping of Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Marella, Del Rio, Orton and Kane (not too bad). Cena and Orton stare at him but he knocks both of them down without much trouble. Jackson can’t slam Kane and gets low bridged out (Striker: “That’s huge!” That’s the third time he’s used those same words to describe an elimination.).

Mysterio gets rid of Kane but Barrett dumps him as well, leaving us with Orton, Cena, Barrett, Del Rio and Marella (still on the floor). Cena and Orton have a showdown with nowhere near the heat of Punk vs. Cena from earlier but Barrett suplexes Cena to break that up.

There’s an AA to Del Rio but Riley comes back down for a distraction, allowing Miz to dump Cena. Rock would be back in two weeks so I think Cena will be fine. Orton gets rid of Barrett but Del Rio throws him out….as Santino crawls back in. Santino crosses himself and hits the Cobra (as taught to him by Jon Lovitz). The Trombone pose takes too long though and Del Rio throws him out for the win at 1:09:51. I lost my mind when Santino snuck back in watching this live and bought it completely, so they had a great idea with this one. He was already a Tag Team Champion so pushing him wasn’t out of the question.

Rating: B. This is a weird one as you could say cut out the extra ten people and it’s a classic but if you cut out the ten people, you probably don’t have the awesome New Nexus deal, which set them up as a threat and made Cena’s entrance that much better (seriously that was awesome). There are a lot of great moments here, but it goes a bit longer than the sweet spot. The winner was WIDE open this year though and that does a lot of good for the match. Oddly enough this should have been about thirty five people, which isn’t something you would often see. Good Rumble though and worth your time.

Rodriguez loses it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The best word to describe this show is forgettable, as other than the Santino spot at the end. The Rumble is rather good and makes the show work, but there are so many people and angles that I can’t remember at all around here and it shows badly. There’s a reason that this era is so forgotten, and Rock coming back to take over things for a few months made it even worse. Punk would rise soon enough, but my goodness this is a completely lost era in a lot of ways. Check out the Rumble, but find something else otherwise.

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-
2013 Redo: A-

2020 Redo: B

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B
2013 Redo: B

2020 Redo: C-

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: A
2013 Redo: A

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A

2020 Redo: B-

Dang was I in a really bad mood here?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/30/royal-rumble-2011-his-name-is-alberto-del-rio/


And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2011-2013-redo-they-had-me/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Royal Rumble 2007 (2021 Redo): The Finish Matters The Most

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2006 (2020 Redo): Off To A Bad Start

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Royal Rumble 2008 (2022 Redo): SURPRISE!

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

I believe this is my fifth time reviewing this show but I’m always curious to see how much different it feels having recently watched the TV leading up to it. The show has been set for a long time now and that means we need to get on with the pay per view already. Of course there is the Royal Rumble, but the Raw World Title match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton is the real draw here. This show is summed up in three words: Hardy Could Win. It worked in 2008 and it’s working again here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Royal Rumble, with this year’s being extra special because it’s in Madison Square Garden. Works for me.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Before the match, Flair talks about how he has wrestled here throughout his career, starting all the way back in 1976. Flair thanks the fans for the respect they have given him throughout the years….and then MVP’s music cuts him off. Feeling out process to start with Flair being driven back into the corner, meaning he needs to stop and think for a second.

A hammerlock sends MVP into the ropes so Flair chops him down. Back up and MVP kicks Flair in the head to take over, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Something like a crossface chickenwing keeps Flair down but MVP is no Bob Backlund, meaning Flair is right back up. Flair goes for the knee but gets knocked into the corner, allowing MVP to strike him down. The running boot in the corner gives MVP three, albeit with Flair’s foot on the ropes.

The distraction lets Flair roll him up for two so MVP grabs a butterfly suplex for two of his own. A superplex gets two more and the frustration is really setting in. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown, making me wonder if a draw would end Flair’s career. Flair rolls him up a few times for two each before chopping away. That earns Flair a facebuster but the Playmaker is countered into a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much about the drama, as Flair wasn’t going to lose to MVP, even at a show like the Rumble. Instead, this was all about Flair getting in Madison Square Garden one more time and the match was built up over a few weeks. I’m not wild on the US Champion giving up clean, but there are bigger things afoot here.

Vince McMahon gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for the Royal Rumble, Finlay comes in and Vince suggests that Hornswoggle might turn on him.

And now, we meet Mike Adamle, who talks about Ric Flair’s match and throws it to a package on Chris Jericho vs. JBL.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL, which is focused on JBL not liking Jericho’s comeback and costing him the WWE Title. Then JBL took him out, setting up this showdown.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Jericho drives him into the corner to start so JBL begs off a bit. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him down and hammers away again. A missed clothesline lets Jericho grab the Walls, which sends JBL bailing to the rope. Jericho knocks him outside for a baseball slide and then sends him into the steps for a bonus. Back in and JBL drops the bad throat across the top to take over.

As you might guess, JBL starts hammering Jericho down in the corner, albeit not as fast as he did in the past. The logical sleeper goes on for a bit, until Jericho fights up and hits his own hard clothesline. Back up and JBL sends him HARD into the post, with Jericho coming up busted open. Jericho pops back to his feet and sends JBL outside despite being COVERED in blood. One heck of a chair shot to the head knocks JBL silly but also hands Jericho the DQ.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but they did a great job of setting up the violent ending. They were trying to keep the feud going here and Jericho being that busted open was a good way to accomplish just that. It was a violent fight and Jericho’s chair shot made it even better. Not too bad here, albeit with the usual Jericho pacing issues.

Post match Jericho unloads on JBL and chokes him with the camera cable as JBL did to him a few weeks ago.

Ashley Massaro tries to talk to Maria but Santino Marella cuts her off, saying Maria isn’t interested in Playboy. Right.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Edge won the title thanks to some assistance from Vickie Guerrero, his new girlfriend. Rey won a Beat The Clock Challenge by pinning Edge to earn the shot here, with the Rey/Guerrero family details making things even more complicated.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge, with Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads, is defending. They take their time to start with Edge grabbing a wristlock. Rey kicks his way out as the fans are WAY behind Edge, with Cole writing it off as a New York thing. Edge sends him to the apron and hits a baseball slide to the floor, where the Edgeheads get THIS CLOSE to interfering. That’s enough for an ejection, allowing Rey to come back with a springboard seated senton for two.

Rey tries to pick up the pace even further but gets knocked off the top for a crash. The half crab goes on to keep Rey in trouble before Edge shifts it to something like an ankle lock. Rey’s leg is good enough to come back with an enziguri but the 619 is cut off. Back up and Rey manages to hit the sitout bulldog, setting up a kick to the head with the good leg for two.

Edge is staggered enough that Rey can knock him to the floor, setting up a sliding tornado DDT. Back in and Edge boots him down but Rey hits a quick 619. The top rope splash connects but Vickie gets out of the wheelchair to break up the pin. Rey doesn’t get distracted and sets up another 619, which only hits the interfering Vickie. That’s enough of a shock for Edge to spear Rey out of the air to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good one here, even if there was no chance of a title change here. Rey was little more than the designated victim for Edge as tends to be the case for the Royal Rumble. They had a pay per view worthy match though and Edge gets to move on to someone bigger with Wrestlemania on the way. Nice stuff here, given the circumstances.

Everyone checks on Vickie, who has to be put back in the wheelchair.

Mr. Kennedy comes in to see Ric Flair (in a towel) and condescendingly praise him for his win. Kennedy promises to win the Rumble and suggests he could retire Flair before Wrestlemania. Shawn Michaels comes in to suggest that Kennedy leave and then accidentally compares Flair to Kennedy. Flair knows Shawn is winning the Rumble tonight….and here’s Batista for an awkward staredown. And HHH too, just to make it weirder. HHH tells Ric to put his pants on and Shawn plugs his new shirt.

Here is Maria for the Kiss Cam. With that out of the way, Ashley Massaro comes out to offer Maria the Playboy spot but here is Santino Marella to say no for her. Oh and New York sports teams are awful. Maria thinks posing is a good idea so Santino has a present for her: Big Dick Johnson in New England Patriots (playing the New York Giants in the Super Bowl) gear. The women beat Johnson up to finish this one big announcement off.

Mike Adamle throws us to a package on Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy.

We recap Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Hardy is on the roll of a lifetime and is ready to challenge for the title. This was one of the best builds WWE has done in a LONG time as it feels like Hardy could actually pull off the huge upset. This gets the big music video treatment and it still works very well.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Hardy’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. They fight over a lockup to start until Jeff shoves him away to a rather strong reaction. Hardy grabs a headlock on the mat, which is reversed with a headscissors. That doesn’t bother Hardy, who is right back with the legdrop between the legs for two. Orton gets clotheslined to the floor and there’s the dropkick through the ropes to send him hard into the barricade.

They fight on the floor for a bit with Orton grabbing a belly to back suplex for two back inside. The circle stomp keeps Hardy in trouble and the choking has JR and King getting rather annoyed. Hardy fights up again and sends Orton over the top for a change, setting up the big dive off the apron. Back in and Jeff gets sent shoulder first into the post to put him right back down, meaning Orton can grab the chinlock.

Hardy fights up after a good while and hits the Whisper In The Wind for a rather near fall. The Swanton is loaded up but Orton rolls outside before it can launch. That’s fine with Hardy, who dropkicks Orton off the apron and hits a moonsault off the top to make it even worse. Back in and the Twist of Fate is loaded up but Orton counters into the RKO to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It didn’t have the hue moment of Hardy winning the title but it wound up being a pretty solid match with Hardy coming up just short. The problem is that they didn’t have any major spot from Hardy but you could tell that he would be back. Hardy will have to get there somewhere, though he had to come up short here, despite an amazing buildup.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

569 wrestlers eliminated
36 wrestlers eliminated by Steve Austin
11 appearances by Shawn Michaels
11 wrestlers eliminated by Kane in 2001
3 Mick Foley personae to appear in the same Royal Rumble
2 feet that have to touch the ground
1 woman to enter the match, with Chyna
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in 1990
3 Steve Austin wins
2 wins for the #1 spot, compared to 1 win for #30
#27 produces the most winners
73% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania since 1993

Michael Buffer handles the Royal Rumble intro in a nice bonus.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2 so they’re starting very fast here. Undertaker wastes no time in slugging away and even knocks Shawn onto the top. A running big boot only hits corner though and Undertaker winds up on the apron. That’s fine for him as he catches a charging Shawn by the throat and drops him with a big boot. Santino Marella is in at #3 and lasts as long as you would expect. With Santino gone, Shawn tries to toss Undertaker but gets punched in the face again. Old School is broken up without much trouble and Great Khali is in at #4.

The fans start up the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker strikes away at Khali and actually choke shoves him out. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and actually hangs on for a bit by slugging it out with Undertaker. That earns him a big boot to the face but Shawn goes to eliminate Undertaker, allowing Holly to fire off some chops in the corner. John Morrison is in at #6 and it’s time for people to start pairing off. With nothing going on, Tommy Dreamer is in at #7 because we needed some ECW chants.

Dreamer does about what you would expect from him until Batista is in at #8 to keep the star power up. Dreamer breaks up the Undertaker vs. Batista showdown and is promptly eliminated (serves him right). Batista spears Morrison down as commentary thinks teaming up on Undertaker/Batista/Shawn makes sense. Hornswoggle is in at #9 and goes straight underneath the ring in a smart move. Batista hits another spear on Undertaker and Holly backdrops Shawn.

Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (under the ring) and Palumbo. Morrison saves himself from elimination as the six in the ring pair off a bit. The banged up Jamie Noble is in at #11 and lasts all of thirty seconds before getting tossed by Palumbo. CM Punk is in at #12 and gets his face blasted off by Shawn’s clothesline. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and manages to dropkick Undertaker down as Punk knocks Palumbo out. Umaga is in at #14 and Spikes Holly out to keep the numbers even.

Snitsky is in at #15 and stomps on Cody in the corner until Miz is in at #16. Undertaker goes after Umaga (weird pairing) but can’t get him out. Shelton Benjamin is in at #17 and snaps Miz and Morrison’s throats on the top. Paydirt hits Punk but Shawn superkicks Shelton out in less than twenty seconds. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 for the big nostalgia pop in the Garden. Punk goes straight for him because he wants to get knocked down by Snuka.

Speaking of Snuka, he got a big pop at #18, but Roddy Piper is in at #19 for a bigger one. Everything stops cold for the Piper vs. Snuka showdown and yeah ok this is awesome. Kane is in at #20 and tosses Piper and Snuka without much trouble. That leaves us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still underneath the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Umaga breaks up a chokeslam to Shawn and it’s Carlito in at #21.

Punk and Morrison almost toss Carlito out but he springboards back and catches Punk with a Backstabber. Mick Foley is in at #22 to start cleaning house but Umaga runs a lot of people over as well. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 and hits some Mic Checks before kicking down a sitting up Undertaker. That’s not cool with Undertaker who gives him a chokeslam and gets his own chance to clean house.

Big Daddy V is in at #24 and Undertaker knocks Snitsky out, only to get superkicked out by Shawn. Kennedy tosses Shawn immediately thereafter and the ring is suddenly a lot more empty. Shawn lands at Undertaker’s feet but Undertaker beats up Snitsky to let off steam instead. Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron but it’s Mark Henry in at #25. Henry and V start getting all dominant as Hornswoggle pops out to pull Miz to the floor for an elimination.

Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Punk is right on him as Kane boots Morrison out. Hornswoggle pops out again and gets grabbed by Henry and V. Cue Finlay with the shillelagh (I guess in at #27) for the save and he leaves with Hornswoggle, which apparently counts as a double elimination. Elijah Burke is in at #28 as JR says Finlay was officially disqualified for the shillelagh. Batista is knocked outside (not eliminated) and Chavo dumps out Punk to keep their feud going.

HHH is in at #29 and this should clear some people out. There goes Rhodes and V follows him, setting up the HHH vs. Foley slugout. HHH sends Foley into Burke for the double elimination and Umaga misses a charge into the post. There’s the Pedigree to Umaga…..and none of that matters as JOHN CENA returns at #30 to an all time shocked reaction.

It wasn’t clear if Cena was going to be back by Wrestlemania but since Cena doesn’t seem to be a human, he’s already back after two months instead of about six. That gives us a final grouping of Batista, Umaga, Kane, Carlito, Kennedy, Henry, Guerrero, HHH and Cena. After being shocked, the fans remember to boo Cena as he fires out Carlito, Henry and Chavo.

We get the big Cena vs. HHH showdown with HHH hitting the spinebuster but getting dropped by Umaga. Batista spears Umaga down and tosses Kennedy, followed by a running clothesline to get rid of Umaga. We’re down to Kane, Batista, HHH and Cena, with HHH and Batista quickly tossing Kane. They stare at each other for a long time before the fight is on. Batista clotheslines them both down and spinebusters HHH but Cena backdrops his way out of a Batista Bomb.

That’s enough for the elimination and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena. That means some sign pointing before the BOO/YAY slugout begins. Cena hits the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle but the AA is blocked. The double clothesline leaves them both down for a needed breather for both them and the fans. Back up and another AA attempt is countered and HHH hits a DDT to take over. HHH can’t throw him out and can’t Pedigree him either, as Cena reverses into an AA for the win.

Rating: B. This match had a lot of the things that a great Rumble needs, ranging from surprises (especially the big one at the end) to star power throughout to a few fun moments like Foley, Piper and Snuka. The Cena return is what people remember about this match though and that is all it needed to be, as that was a genuine shock for a great moment. Quite good Rumble, with the Cena part being the big icing on the cake.

Cena celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is the biggest one match show of the year and as it goes, so goes the rest of the show. The other four matches on here were good enough but there was nothing worth going out of your way to see. Cena being back breathes a lot of life into the show but it was still a good one even coming to that point. Not an all time classic, but there are far worse ways to spend two hours and forth five minutes.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2005 (2019 Redo): Oops I Tore My Quad

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re finally to one of the more important shows ever and the main event is a two horse race. This is clearly the year of John Cena or Batista and either one is a great option to win. They’re owning their shows right now and both of them seem to be locks to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Titles. Predictable does not mean bad though and that seems to be the case here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at great Rumble endings as a clock counts down. After it reaches zero, we see….well more of the same actually but there are so many historic Rumble moments that it works just fine.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Nothing wrong with a grudge match. Edge blames Shawn for him not winning the World Title and has taken out some aggression on him. They get started fast with Shawn clotheslining him to the floor and skinning the cat so the vest can come off. Back in and the announcers argue over whether or not Shawn is a champion hog. Edge gets in a swinging neckbreaker and the fans are all over him early on.

A Thesz press and right hands let Shawn throw him over the top for a nice mini moment. Shawn’s baseball slide misses though and it’s the Edge-O-Matic on the floor to knock him silly. Back in again and the fans stay behind Shawn as they’re certainly loyal. Edge gets two off a sitout powerbomb so it’s off to a rear naked choke. Well a chinlock with a bodyscissors because it’s Edge but close enough.

It’s switched to a regular chinlock and a slam, allowing Edge to strike Shawn’s pose. Shawn is annoyed but walking into a big boot makes it even worse. A clothesline takes Shawn down again as he can’t get anything going here. Another chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Shawn scores with a knee lift and some atomic drops. Ten right hands in the corner set up the catapult for two but Shawn has to stop Edge from walking out. It’s either a ruse or bad timing though as Edge gets in the spear on the floor.

Shawn beats the count back in and Edge….dances? That’s certainly a new one. What isn’t a new one is the spear (complete with tuning up the band, though JR insists that Edge has no band), which only gets two. A superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the big elbow. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop (nice counter) and the Edgecator goes on. Shawn makes the long and slow crawl to the rope (Lawler: “He was going to tap and the rope happened to be there!”) but Edge grabs a rollup and a rope for the cheating pin.

Rating: B. It’s a nice mixture of action and storytelling here as the match was good and edge cheated to win, which is what makes perfect sense for him. Edge hit everything he had on Shawn to try and win clean and then went with the cheating to put him away. That’s exactly what Edge would do because he’s so obsessed with getting a win so well done on the opener.

Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long argue over which brand will win the Rumble. With that out of the way, we get Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme to stand there while wrestlers come in to draw their numbers. Ric Flair and Eddie Guerrero come in first with Flair dancing and having the girls blow on his ball (make your own jokes). Flair is thrilled with his number so Eddie hugs him without drawing his own number. For the sake of convenience, Flair checks his number again and finds a bad one. The chase is on.

Heidenreich is freaking out over caskets when Gene Snitsky comes in. They like each other and Snitsky has an idea. The tone of voices sound like…..never mind.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Heidenreich is the latest monster and Undertaker has beaten him a few times but since WWE can’t just let him go, we get a casket match. As luck would have it, Heidenreich is terrified of caskets so he’s been running around in panic for weeks now. What a great way to present a monster.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Casket match of course with druids bringing the casket out. Undertaker grabs a headlock and starts dragging Heidenreich towards the casket so at least he’s going smart early on. An armdrag into an armbar has Heidenreich close to the casket again as you can see a lot of empty seats popping up. Undertaker switches to the leg with a half crab so Heidenreich crawls to the rope, which is in front of the casket. No one ever accused him of making sense.

They head outside with Undertaker going face first into the casket as Heidenreich still isn’t coming off as interesting. Back in and Heidenreich hammers away in the corner while shouting that this is his world. Undertaker seems to disagree by grabbing a triangle choke on the top rope. Cue the taped up Snitsky to make the save and the double teaming is on. The casket is opened and Kane wakes up from his nap to pop out and make the second save.

Kane and Snitsky fight into the crowd as Heidenreich kicks the casket up the aisle. Undertaker goes knees first into the steps and it’s time to peel back the mats so we can get more violent. Heidenreich crushes him with the casket and it’s a cobra clutch to knock Undertaker out. Undertaker goes into the casket but keeps an arm out so the comeback can start.

The apron legdrop onto the casket onto Heidenreich gets the fans back into things but Undertaker walks into the swinging Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich covers due to general numbskulledness and Undertaker makes another comeback, this time with a bad looking running DDT. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish Heidenreich.

Rating: D. It’s not good, but this could have been a lot worse. Heidenreich got in some offense and didn’t feel as much like a chore to watch this time around, but this feud was done a month ago. The Kane and Snitsky stuff was pretty early on so the match was almost divided in half with a short piece in the middle. Somehow, we’ll call this better than expected, though that’s not the highest expectation.

Long demands Eddie give Flair’s number back and Evolution comes in to make it happen. Eddie gives it back and almost gets away with Flair’s wallet. With Eddie gone, HHH wants to talk to Batista about the Randy Orton match but Batista wants to go get his number first. HHH says NOW and Flair has to intervene.

Long comes back in to see Bischoff as Christian and Tyson Tomko are ready to draw their numbers. Christian and Tomko say they both signed a petition to get rid of Long and then draw. As Christian is happy, here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena to Bischoff: “Loved you in Boogie Nights.” Christian wants a battle rap of all things and tells Tomko to give him a beat. Tomko: “No.” Christian manages to rhyme Transylvania with Wrestlemania but Cena goes with the gay jokes to win the audience’s approval.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending. Angle chills on the floor to start and JBL actually starts swinging at Show. That’s quite courageous of him. Stupid as it works as well as you would expect, but courageous. Show catches him with a slam out of the corner and the legdrop gets two with Angle making a fast save. That’s fine with Show, who is right back up and knocks the two of them outside.

JBL gets posted and the power of the big hips knock Angle away as it’s all Show in the early going. Show sets up the steps next to the announcers’ and I don’t see this ending well. The super chokeslam is loaded up but Angle hits him low, setting up a monitor shot to knock Show through the table. Angle and JBL get back in with Angle grabbing an armbar, which feels a little out of place a giant just fell off the steps and through a table.

Some German suplexes fit the bill a bit better but the Angle Slam is escaped. JBL’s big boot gets two but Show is back in with a double clothesline. Show starts throwing the two of them around and another double clothesline connects for good measure. A double chokeslam is broken up though and it’s a Clothesline From JBL/chop block from Angle to put the giant down again. Angle is smart enough to hit a quick German suplex to drop the champ, followed by an Angle Slam to Show for no cover as Angle’s back is hurt.

Show is back up with a chokeslam for two, followed by a tackle to put JBL through the barricade. That leaves Angle in the ring with a chair but a charge lets Show flapjack him onto it. Cue Jindrak and Reigns to go after Show as the Cabinet is here to put JBL on a stretcher. Show fights the two of them up the aisle, leaving Jordan to throw JBL back inside. The Clothesline From JBL puts Angle down to retain the title.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and that’s not a surprise whatsoever after what has been a really good story. These three had an odd chemistry together and the match was a lot better than it probably should have been. If nothing else it was nice to not have the goons get involved until the end, and even then it was just for a distraction. JBL’s title reign continues to be far better than he’s given credit for with a match that was actually a lot of fun to watch.

Carlito tries to get Batista to sign his petition but a threat of violence gets rid of that. Batista goes in to draw his number as Bischoff and Long argue over World Title matches. Long says there is going to be a bunch of interference so Bischoff bans Evolution from ringside. Batista wants to tell HHH himself and seems very happy.

Wrestlemania XXI trailer featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. I loved these things and most of them were rather clever.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton. HHH won the World Title back inside the Elimination Chamber, including pinning Orton. It took Batista’s help though so Orton beat Batista in a #1 contenders match to earn the shot. Orton is a complete lame duck challenger as the fans have moved on to Batista and everyone but Orton seems to know it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and Evolution is barred from ringside. Orton slaps him in the face to get things going and a backslide gets an early two. A rather high backdrop looks to set up a very early RKO so HHH bails to the floor, allowing Orton to take him down out there instead. Back in and Orton grabs Snake Eyes but the RKO is countered with a toss over the top and what could have been a scary looking landing.

A ram into the steps makes it worse for Orton and the RANDY SUCKS chants are just downright mean. HHH goes after the knee, which was attacked on Raw and not brought up until now. We go to the Ric Flair knee work package, including the Figure Four. The hold stays on for over a minute until HHH slaps him in the face, causing Orton to turn it over, albeit right into the ropes.

They head outside again with HHH being thrown over the announcers’ table, which isn’t exactly a big deal this time. Instead Orton takes him back inside for the backbreaker and the assorted punches in the corner. The high crossbody gets two but HHH gets in a knee. The Pedigree is countered so HHH hits the jumping knee to the face for two. Another Pedigree attempt doesn’t work so Orton blasts him with a clothesline. Orton slugs away in the corner but a grab of the rope blocks a DDT.

That’s enough to send Orton outside and the referee threatens to stop the match because Orton looks out of it. Instead Orton gets back in but HHH crashes into both of them for the ref bump. The sledgehammer is brought out but Orton trips him face first into the post. Orton can’t follow up though and it’s a hard clothesline to take him down again. The Pedigree retains the title in a finish that sums up Orton’s entire face run.

Rating: C-. That ending was terrible as Orton never even got in the big hope spot. Instead it was Orton getting knocked silly, not being able to do anything but keep himself from getting hit by the sledgehammer and then falling to the Pedigree anyway. These two seem incapable of having a really good match together and that was the case again here. As mentioned, Orton had no chance so it’s far from some miscarriage of justice, but it was disappointing.

Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s Rumble spot under the threat of violence.

The drunken Cabinet comes in to Long/Bischoff’s office. Long isn’t happy and makes JBL vs. Big Show in a barbed wire cage match for No Way Out. That’s quite the escalation and JBL sobers up in a hurry.

Royal Rumble

Since this is the main event, here’s your trivia for the night: this is the first pay per view since the Wrestling Classic (and therefore the second ever to this point) to not have a tag team match. In case you were worried about a slow start, Eddie Guerrero is in at #1 and Chris Benoit is in at #2 with ninety second intervals. Eddie starts on the floor before coming in for the feeling out process, which doesn’t get anyone anywhere. They start striking it out and Daniel Puder is in at #3. He gets in but goes straight back to the floor to grab a mic, saying everyone here is about to witness history.

Puder gets inside and it’s time for Benoit and Eddie to chop the heck out of him, which might be Benoit’s specialty. Some suplexes make it even worse and it’s Hardcore Holly in at #4. Benoit and Eddie are willing to stand back and let Holly chop him as the point is becoming clear in a hurry. Holly hangs him over the rope for the kick to the gut and there’s an Alabama Slam.

Hurricane is in at #5 as Puder is tossed. This was WWE’s way of punishing/initiating Puder for being successful in Tough Enough, because WWE feels the need to torment people for getting over. Puder would never wrestle on the main roster again and I’d be surprised if he had a major appearance. Eddie throws Holly out during Hurricane’s entrance and Hurricane is thrown out a few seconds later, just as Kenzo Suzuki is in at #6. Eddie and Benoit double team him as well but Benoit throws Eddie to the apron in a smart move.

Edge is in at #7 and this should make things more interesting. Chops and right hands abound until Benoit knocks Edge back a bit. Rey Mysterio is in at #8 and as soon as we get rid of Suzuki, a heck of a tag match could break out (with any combination of teams). Rey’s headscissors gets rid of Suzuki but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Eddie to put everyone down. Shelton Benjamin is in at #9 and goes after Rey, who snaps off a headscissors.

Booker T. is in at #10, giving us Booker, Eddie, Benoit, Benjamin, Edge and Mysterio (get one or two more and you have a month’s worth of quality stuff). Rey can’t headscissor Shelton out but here’s Bischoff to watch. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter on Eddie, which Rey breaks up with a springboard dropkick. Just in case we don’t have enough awesome talent in the ring, Chris Jericho is in at #11. Jericho goes after Edge with right hands and a belly to back suplex before switching over to Eddie in the corner.

That means a lot more punching and not very close eliminations by the ropes until Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #15. Hang on though as Hassan and Daivari jump him in the aisle and Scotty can’t get in. Oh well. If we can drop every man for himself, we can drop 30 to 29. The beatdown takes long enough that it’s Charlie Haas in at #16. Booker kicks him in the face though and then tosses Reigns and Jordan in a row. He stops for a Spinarooni though and that’s enough for Eddie to get the elimination.

The eliminations slow for a bit as Rene Dupree is in at #17. Haas and Benjamin get back together for the jump over onto Rene’s back. Shelton misses a Stinger Splash though and Edge gets the elimination. Simon Dean is in at #18 but before he gets in, we need some Hindu squats. The distraction lets Edge get rid of Eddie and Dean finally gets in…..so Shawn Michaels, in at #19, can superkick him out. Things slow down a bit until Shawn dumps Haas.

Kurt Angle is in at #20 and it’s suplexes a go-go until Shawn superkicks him out. To recap, we now have Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Jericho, Dupree and Michaels. Coach is in at #21 and immediately starts grabbing the rope to save himself. Mark Jindrak is in at #22 but Angle gets back in and throws Shawn out, followed by a step shot to the head for some blood. Angle is finally dragged off and it’s Viscera in at #23.

Rey saves himself from elimination so Viscera slams him in the middle. With nothing else going on, Paul London is in at #24, nearly sliding all the way outside as he comes in. Dupree slams him down and we get the French Tickler. Jericho is smart enough to use the delay to toss Dupree (Tazz: “His tickler just got Frenched!”.). No one can get rid of Viscera so here’s John Cena in at #25 to pick things way up.

Cena backdrops Viscera out on his own because WWE knows how to make someone look like a star in the Rumble. Gene Snitsky, who can run pretty well when he’s all taped up, is in at #26 to shoulder people down. Snitsky sends London to the apron and BLASTS him with a clothesline, sending London inside out for a highlight reel elimination. That gives us the Cena vs. Snitsky showdown with Snitsky hitting the big boot.

Kane is in at #27 and it’s chokeslams all around, with the one armed version to Mysterio looking great. Jindrak is out but Snitsky saves Coach of all people. The pumphandle slam drops Kane but none of that matters because Batista is in at #28 to bring the fans back to full strength (everyone knows it’s coming now and they’re fully on board the Batista train). Snitsky is out first and it’s time for the Kane showdown, with the full on BATISTA chants as background noise.

The Batista Bomb plants Kane and Batista throws Jericho out. Christian is in at #29 and gets beaten down by Cena as Rey hits the 619 on Kane. That’s enough for the FU to get rid of Kane (because Cena is smart enough to use a move like that next to the ropes). Rey and Cena set up an alliance and it’s Ric Flair in at #30, giving us a final field of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batista, Christian and Flair. That’s quite the talent pool. Flair is smart enough to feed Coach into the spinebuster from Batista for the elimination and the same concept gets rid of Christian.

Benoit chops Flair in the corner but takes the big spinebuster as well. That’s it for Benoit but Flair makes the mistake of trying to toss Batista as well. Edge and Mysterio are smart enough to dropkick Batista at the same time with Edge getting rid of Flair (makes sense). That leaves us with Edge, Mysterio, Batista and Cena. Edge hits the spear on Batista and Cena but gets caught by the 619. Rey tries one too many runs off the ropes though and gets sent to the apron for a spear to the floor. Cena and Batista toss Edge and we’re down to the only two people who ever had a shot to win this thing in the first place.

Neither can hit their finisher and the fall out to the floor in the unplanned finish. With the referees split, cue Vince McMahon, who made the mistake of trying to get up from the Gorilla Position in a hurry after three hours. He tries to slide in under the bottom rope and there goes his quad (must be a family trait).

Vince tries to get up and just goes down, so the referees plead their cases as Vince sits down next to the bottom rope. With all of the confusion, they take turns throwing each one over the top (Batista threw Cena first, which makes sense. Cena throwing Batista out after and thinking that would count is just kind of dumb.). Vince says restart the match (and then goes to the back, where he put too much weight on his good leg and tore that quad as well), but for some reason Eddie and Benoit are nowhere to be seen. Batista throws Cena out in about ten seconds to officially win.

Rating: B+. If they could have nailed the ending, this is an all time classic. As it is, it’s just shy of great and that’s a pretty awesome place to be. Cena and Batista were all that mattered here and that was where they went for the ending, but the stuff before that was more than very good as well. They stacked the first half with talent and then had the very well done Angle vs. Shawn segment, which sets up a major match at Wrestlemania. By the time they were done, Cena showed up to bridge things to the ending. All in all, it’s a second tier Rumble at worst and just makes the end of the all time best list at best.

Overall Rating: A-. The Rumble is such a unique show as the one match can carry the rest of the card either up or down. In this case that’s very helpful as the four undercard matches nearly cancel each other out, with a pair of good ones, the bad casket match and the not very good Raw World Title match. What matters here though is they didn’t play any games with the ending and went with their strongest options at the finish. It was the right play and the only thing they could have done. Batista and Cena’s rockets are being attached to their backs and that’s what they have to do. Very good show and bordering on classic.

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Smackdown – January 5, 2024 (New Year’s Resolution): When Did They Get Stupid?

Smackdown
Date: January 5, 2024
Location: Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British, Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

It’s the first Smackdown of the year and in this case it’s New Year’s Revolution. The big main event will determine who challenges Roman Reigns for the World Title at the Royal Rumble. On top of that though, the Rock showed up on Raw and seemed to call out Reigns for a showdown. We almost have to, ahem, acknowledge that here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Rock’s return and line about Reigns.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive, with Reigns literally laughing off a question about the Rock.

US Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Kevin Owens vs. Santos Escobar

Escobar has Angel and Humberto with him and cue Logan Paul to join commentary. The bell rings and cue the LWO to take out Angel and Humberto, allowing Owens to hit a Cannonball and frog splash for a fast two as we take a break. Back with Escobar knocking Owens off the top and taking over on the bad hand.

Owens fights out and grabs a chinlock so Escobar is right back on the hand in a smart move. Escobar sends him hard into the barricade as the fans chant for Logan, who gets up to pose in a smart move. Back in and Owens catches Escobar coming off the top with an atomic drop into a DDT for a needed breather. Owens goes up top and Escobar is right there, only to get caught with the swinging superplex (Graves: “Logan, don’t ever try to superplex Kevin Owens.” Paul: “What happens?” Graves: “This.”).

We take another break and come back with Owens superkicking him out to the floor but the Swanton hits raised knees. Escobar snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two, only to have Owens catch him on top with a super Regal Roll for two of his own. The Stunner is blocked so Owens hits a superkick but his pop up powerbomb is countered into another hurricanrana. The second powerbomb attempt works though and the Stunner sends Owens to the Royal Rumble at 16:49.

Rating: B. This got rolling near the end as they were trading moves and counters until Owens finally caught him with the big one. While there was the downside of Owens being the pretty obvious winner since the tournament started, it was nice to see the whole thing paid off with a good match. At the very least, we’ll get more of Owens and Paul taking awesome shots at each other for a few weeks until the title match at the Rumble.

Post match Paul congratulates Owens and mocks the idea of a Canadian being the US Champion. Paul brags about himself and gets dropped with a right hand.

Video on Randy Orton, who is in the #1 contenders match tonight.

Post break Austin Theory and Grayson Waller console Logan Paul but get in a shoving match with Cameron Grimes.

Here are Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits for a chat. Lashley talks about having a rough 2023 because he didn’t have the success he wanted. Then he hooked up with the Street Profits and things got better. The Profits talk about how they want the Tag Team Titles, while Lashley is going to enter the Royal Rumble. Cue Karrion Kross and Scarlett (now a brunette), plus Paul Ellering of all people. The AOP jump Lashley and the Profits from behind as the return that was all but revealed two weeks ago comes true.

Video on AJ Styles.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Iyo Sky vs. Michin

Michin is challenging and the seconds all stay in the back. They fight over a lockup to start until Sky flips away from her for a standoff. Sky takes her to the mat for a double stomp but Michin gets in a whip to the floor. There’s the big dive to drop the champ and we take a break. Back with Sky escaping a powerbomb but Michin’s gutwrench suplex gets two. A half crab sends Sky over to the rope so they head to the apron, where Sky snaps off a nasty German suplex.

Since it was just a German suplex on the apron, Michin is able to block Over The Moonsault and hit a dragon suplex for two. They go to the corner and it’s a super Styles Clash for a rather near fall, with Sky having to grab the rope. Michin misses another suicide dive though and the running knees in the corner set up Over The Moonsault to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure if there was much of a reason to believe Michin was going to win the title here but it was nice to see someone fresh getting into the title picture. Michin is a good hand who can work well with a lot of people and she did well enough here. It might not have been a great match, but for a title defense on a special show, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Paul Heyman is asked about the Rock and isn’t pleased with Rock inviting himself to the Head Of The Table. Rock has not received an invitation and is just trying to go viral, like John Cena, Brock Lesnar or Cody Rhodes, who like to interrupt Roman Reigns. CM Punk is back and talks about being an OG Paul Heyman Guy, but Heyman has upgraded from friend to advocate to Wise Man. Heyman promises Reigns will smash any of his opponents at the Royal Rumble to wrap things up, as he sounded a good bit shakier than usual here, which is exactly what he should have been doing.

Damage CTRL congratulates Iyo Sky on retaining her title and now the team wants the Women’s Tag Team Titles. And the Royal Rumble, but Bianca Belair comes in to say she’ll be in the Rumble and beat Bayley next week as a bonus.

Pretty Deadly vs. Butch/???

Butch’s mystery partner is….Tyler Bate from NXT. Bate and Wilson go to the mat to start with Bate flipping out of a headscissors and getting two off a rollup. Butch comes in for a basement dropkick to the back, followed by stereo running dives to take out Pretty Deadly on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Butch fighting out of a chinlock. That’s enough for the diving tag to Bate so house can be quickly cleaned. The airplane spin leaves Wilson down and the rebound lariat/German suplex combination puts him down again. Prince gets in a cheap shot but Wilson can’t grab what looked to be a Twist of Fate. A double Tyler Driver 97 finishes Wilson at 7:53.

Rating: C+. This was about bringing in Bate for his first match on Smackdown and it went well enough all things considered. I could go for Butch getting away from the Brawling Brutes and if he won’t be a singles star, pairing him with Bate is far from the worst idea. At the same time, it’s almost weird to see Pretty Deadly losing, but I’m sure they’ll be fine going forward with that kind of charisma.

Video on LA Knight.

Ashante Thee Adonis comes in to see Nick Aldis to say he’s a starving dog. Aldis says he doesn’t feel sorry for him but he has believed in Adonis since the beginning. He promises some ideas for him going forward.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton

For the shot against Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble. We’re joined in progress after a break with Knight being knocked into the corner but Styles takes Orton into another corner for the stomping. Knight is back with a running clothesline to put Styles on the floor, with Knight following to send both of them face first into the announcers’ table over and over.

Orton drops them both onto said table but Styles does it right back to him in a nice counter. The fans deem this awesome as Orton breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm and hits the hanging DDT. Knight breaks up the RKO though and Orton is sent into the steps. Styles dives onto Knight to leave them all down as we take a break.

Back with Styles hitting the basement forearm to Knight and knocking Orton out to the floor again. Orton fights back and sends Styles into the steps before taking over on Knight back inside. A quick BFT drops Orton but Styles breaks up the cover at the last second. Knight and Styles slug it out with Styles getting the better of it, setting up the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back in with the RKO to Styles but this time Knight (who got busted open somewhere in there) makes the save….and we’ve got the Bloodline. The big beatdown is on and we’ll call it a no contest at about 16:30 shown.

Rating: B-. Gah that ending took down what was turning into a good match. Knight did better than I would have expected here, as he was in there with bigger stars but more than held his own in a big match. Orton and Styles were their normal selves but their long breaks seem to have done good for both of them. That being said, we’re now going with Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman being dumb enough to think this idea is going to work?

Post match the beatdown is on, with Reigns and company laying waste to the other three. Nick Aldis comes out and tells Paul Heyman (the Bloodline can’t hear him) that Reigns has just earned himself a four way at the Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The best thing I can say here is that it felt like things mattered, which is what this show needed to accomplish. The wrestling was good enough and the show flew by, though that ending felt more like Reigns and Heyman turning into morons for the sake of setting up a new title match. The rest of the show was good enough, but the main event mattered more than anything else and it left the show on a weaker note.

Results
Kevin Owens b. Santos Escobar – Stunner
Iyo Sky b. Michin – Over The Moonsault
Butch/Tyler Bate b. Pretty Deadly – Double Tyler Driver 97 to Wilson
AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when the Bloodline interfered

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 25, 2023 (Best Of 2023): They Covered It

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2023
Hosts: Jackie Redmond, Peter Rosenberg

Since it’s Christmas night, we have the Best Of 2023, which could cover all kinds of things. There have been some rather good things taking place this year and that means we should have a nice set of options. There’s a good chance that we’ll be getting stuff from both main roster shows and pay per views so let’s get to it.

Note that I’ll be posting the full versions of matches rather than the clipped versions that air on the broadcast.

The Miz welcomes us to the show and says he was supposed to host the Oscars but was too busy hosting Wrestlemania instead. We run down some of the best matches of the year in what is probably a preview of what we’re seeing tonight.

We go to the studio with Jackie and Peter, who run down the special guests we’ll be hearing from tonight. For now though, our first match.

From Night Of Champions.

World Heavyweight Championship: AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

For the inaugural title and they’re starting big here. They take their time to start with Styles sending him to the apron but it’s too early for the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles rolls out of a headlock but Rollins is right back with a kick to the head to take over. Back up and Styles drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Rollins is back with a Downward Spiral into the middle turnbuckle.

Styles is right back with a suplex into the corner and the Phenomenal Blitz. The middle rope moonsault into a reverse DDT plants Rollins again but he’s right back up with a buckle bomb. The frog splash gives Rollins two but the Pedigree is reversed into an enziguri. With nothing else working, Styles loads up the super Styles Clash but Rollins slips out to avoid quite a bit of pain.

Instead, Rollins puts him on top for a reverse superplex into a reverse sitout suplex for two. The Phoenix splash misses and they fight to the apron, where Styles hits a brainbuster to knock Rollins silly. Back in and Styles tries the Phenomenal Forearm (instead of covering) but Rollins breaks it up and sends him back to the floor. The suicide dive hits Styles but Rollins comes up favoring his knee.

Back in again and Styles grabs the Calf Crusher but Rollins grabs a choke for the escape. Styles kicks away until he has to duck the Pele. Rollins’ Pedigree is countered into one from Styles for two as Styles is bleeding a bit from the head. The Phenomenal Forearm is superkicked out of the air but the knee gives out on the Stomp attempt. The knee is fine enough to hit a Pedigree, followed by the Stomp to give Rollins the pin and the title at 20:37.

Rating: B. This was a different kind of match as there was no personal issue and they were just out there fighting for the title. It worked well as the two are both incredibly talented and know how to work the main event style match. The knee injury was a nice way to go and gave the match some drama, but it was hard to imagine Styles having a real chance here. Rather awesome opener though and Rollins is the best choice possible for the first champion.

Rollins joins us to talk about what it means to be the inaugural World Heavyweight Champion and to give opportunities to so many people. CM Punk is brought up, with Rollins talking about the lack of respect between them and it would be almost impossible for Punk to gain his respect. We move on to Drew McIntyre, who makes a lot of good points, but it’s the way McIntyre is explaining them. If McIntyre wants the title, he has to beat him, so may the best man win.

The Alpha Academy shills WWE Shop.

We talk about Jade Cargill signing with WWE. Oh yeah that was a thing.

From Wrestlemania XXXIX Night One.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is challenging. They hit shoulders to start with Charlotte going down, allowing Rhea to tell her to suck it. Back in and they slug it out, with Ripley knocking her into the corner. Ripley bodyscissors her, followed by a German suplex to cut off the comeback. Charlotte gets in a shot and goes after the knee, as is her custom, but Ripley isn’t having that. Riptide is blocked and they trade big boots to leave them both down.

They slug it out until Charlotte snaps off a fall away slam and goes up top. That takes too long though and Ripley catches her with a release German superplex for two, leaving Ripley stunned. Charlotte goes to the knee again and Natural Selection gets two. They go outside with Charlotte missing a charge into the steps, allowing Ripley to hit a belly to back faceplant for two.

Charlotte rolls some German suplexes but Ripley gets one of her own (with Charlotte almost landing on her head). Charlotte is fine enough to hit a big boot and Ripley is sent outside, where the moonsault connects. The Figure Four is blocked and Charlotte almost runs into the referee, leaving Ripley to hit Riptide for…two (yeah you knew Charlotte would get to kick out of that at least once).

The stunned Ripley gets small packaged for two and the Prism Trap goes on instead. Charlotte makes the ropes and the referee is almost bumped, meaning a spear can give Charlotte two. They slug it out until Charlotte hits another big boot into the Figure Four but Ripley is right next to the ropes. Ripley goes to the apron and they both go up, with Charlotte being dropped face first onto the post. Charlotte is out and the super Riptide gives Ripley the pin and the title at 23:32.

Rating: B+. This started slowly but once they got into the big falls they had me wondering where it was going. While it would have been hard to imagine Ripley losing, there is always that chance with Charlotte in there. What matters is Ripley gets the win that matters and becomes the new star. Charlotte needs to go away from Ripley for a bit (it feels like she hasn’t been on Raw in a long time) and let her be the big deal. For now they, I’ll take Ripley getting the title that she has earned and getting it by pinning Charlotte at Wrestlemania.

Ripley talks about how dominant a year Judgment Day had and promises to eradicate Ivy Nile.

We take a quick look at Logan Paul beating Ricochet at Summerslam.

From Backlash.

Damian Priest vs. Bad Bunny

Street fight and Bunny is the hometown boy to a major reaction. Bunny brings the kendo stick but whips out a shopping cart full of weapons. Priest powers him into the corner to start but gets slapped in the face, with Bunny hitting a Michinoku Driver for two. Bunny grabs the kendo sticks but Priest knocks him down and breaks one of them. Back up and Bunny hammers away in the corner, only to get taken down again.

South Of Heaven connects but Priest pulls him up at two. It’s time to bring in an ax handle (single this time) but instead Priest loads up the springboard dive…which is cut off by a chair being thrown into his face. Bunny hits a big dive and drops him with a bunch of trashcan lid shots, giving us a Flair Flop on the floor. Back in and another Michinoku Driver gives Bunny two more but it’s time to head back outside.

Priest gets the better of things this time and smashes the Puerto Rico kendo stick across Bunny’s back. They head into the crowd and over to the tech area, where a Falcon Arrow sends Bunny crashing HARD through some tables. Adam Pearce comes out to say this needs to stop but Priest carries Bunny back to ringside. Priest misses a kick to the post and can barely stand, so Bunny blasts said leg with a kendo stick.

Bunny hits something like a Stunner to the leg out of the corner and the leg is wrapped around the post. A chain is wrapped around the leg to send it into the post again (with Priest begging him not to do it). Priest begs off from a chair shot and gets in a kick of his own, only to get hit low for his efforts. Cue Judgment Day to go after Bunny, with Rey Mysterio making the save.

With Rey beaten down, Carlito makes the save to an explosion, including the Backstabber and apple spit. Judgment Day gets back up but here is Savio Vega, who brings out the LWO to keep up the fight. With everyone else gone, Priest’s leg gives out on a kick to the head attempt, allowing Bunny to grab a Figure Four. Priest gets out so it’s a Sliced Bread for two (with Bunny almost landing on his head). A Canadian Destroyer finishes Priest at 25:05.

Rating: A. Yeah this was a total blast and played to the live crowd as well as anything else was going to. Bunny is as over as free beer in a frat house around here and they brought in the legends/current stars to make it feel that much bigger. It was fun and Bunny put in an all time celebrity performance, but Priest deserves all kinds of credit for holding it all together. Great stuff here, but egads how is anything supposed to follow this?

New Day joins us to give their take on everything this year, ranging from big meaty men, the women’s division, people who kick you in the head, the tag division and the Alpha Academy.

From the September 4 Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Chad Gable vs. Gunther

Gunther is defending and after the Big Match Intros, a headlock takeover puts Gable down. Back up and Gable dropkicks him to the floor as we take a break. We come back with Gable cranking on the leg over the ropes. The leg is fine enough for a big boot and the hand is fine enough for a chop but Gable is right back up. Gable unloads in the corner but Gunther kicks him out to the floor as we take another break.

Back again with Gable reversing a powerbomb into a hurricanrana to the floor. Gunther kicks him down and goes up, only to have Gable run the corner for a superplex. The ankle lock is broken up but Gable suplexes his way out of a sleeper. Rolling Chaos Theory gets two and the grapevined ankle lock goes on. That’s broken up as well and Gunther gets the sleeper. With that broken up, Gunther hits a sleeper suplex into the powerbomb into the hard clothesline to retain at 16:03.

Rating: B. They were rolling by the end and made the most out of a rough situation. Gunther has gone over a year as champion and will break the record for longest reign ever later this week. There is no reason to take the title off of him here, so Gable was tasked with making the most out of a rough situation. It was a heck of a fight here near the end, but this was the only way it should have gone.

Paul Heyman joins us to talk about Roman Reigns’ dominance over the year. We look at some of Reigns’ victims, along with those who came up against the Bloodline. As a bonus, 2024 is a leap year, so we get one extra day to acknowledge Reigns!

Cody Rhodes joins us and talks about how much he and his family loves Christmas. He talks about how his dad wasn’t around much on Christmas because it was a huge show day, but now it’s the day after Christmas so he’s ready to be in Madison Square Garden tomorrow. As for Shinsuke Nakamura, Cody is ready to settle things no matter how long it takes. As for Brock Lesnar, Rhodes never wants to go back to Suplex City, but he does have a soft spot or the post-Fastlane press conference. The fact that he and Jey Uso were a bit tipsy might have something to do with it.

From Summerslam.

Cody Rhodes vs. Brock Lesnar

Cody jumps him before the bell but gets caught with a quick suplex. A neck snap across the top staggers Brock and a pair of Disaster Kicks make it worse. Cody tries it again though and this time gets rammed into the corner for his efforts. Brock is knocked to the floor for a hard suicide dive though and Cody has an opening. Back in and Brock hits a trio of suplexes to send Cody down and it’s time to bounce a bit.

Another German suplex sets up another suplex and Cody falls out to the floor. Brock knocks him off the apron and tells Cody to save himself but Cody beats the count again. That means an overhead belly to belly and Brock clotheslines him outside again. An F5 on the floor gets nine and Brock is mad. Another F5 through the announcers’ table gets nine and now Lesnar looks more confused than angry.

More suplexes wake Cody up for some reason and he heads outside, where some postings slow Brock down and a steps shot (DQ anyone?) makes it worse. The Disaster Kick and Cody Cutter drop Lesnar back inside and a double springboard Cody Cutter gets two. Lesnar pulls him into the Kimura but Cody makes the rope. Back up and Lesnar is sent into an exposed buckle, setting up Cody’s Kimura. That’s broken up so Cody hits three Cross Rhodes for the pin at 17:32.

Rating: B. They were trying for an epic match here and it just didn’t get that far. Cody surviving and surviving was a rather Lesnar style story and it worked well enough, but I still can’t buy Lesnar losing to the Cross Rhodes, which just isn’t a very good finisher. This was the way the feud had to end though as Cody gets a huge win to defeat Lesnar for good and should be on his way back to the title picture sooner than later.

Post match Lesnar actually shows respect and even high fives some fans as he walks away.

We look at Becky Lynch winning the NXT Women’s Title.

Lynch talks about how she does the buying and shopping for Christmas but Seth Rollins does all of the putting together. She went back to NXT to show what he has become and to help others get a chance they hadn’t had yet. Becky is ready for Nia Jax in a match five years in the making. As for this year though, she was a team with Lita and got to feud with Trish Stratus, which is where we’re going next.

From Payback.

Trish Stratus vs. Becky Lynch

In a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win and NXT Women’s Champion Tiffany Stratton is here watching again. Becky starts fast with the Bexploders but gets elbowed in the face for her efforts. Trish sends her into the cage and grabs a spinebuster to cut off a comeback attempt. The double fishhook keeps Becky in trouble (Trish: “CHEESE!”) but Becky manages to ram her into the cage a few times.

It’s too early for the Disarm-Her so Becky is sent into the cage two more times. Trish Matrixes her way out of a clothesline, only to have Becky drop a double legdrop onto the stomach in a clever counter. Some rapid fire rams into the cage have Trish in more trouble and Becky goes up top for the Fameasser in the ropes for two. Trish is back up and hammers away in the corner but Becky slips out and hits a powerbomb for two more.

Back up and Becky is sent into the cage again, setting up a Widow’s Peak (including the Victoria hair pulling) for two. Becky misses something off the top and gets caught with Stratusfaction for another near fall. They go up top with Trish hitting a super bulldog for two, allowing her to stare at the camera and show off a NASTY welt on her forehead. Both of them head up top with Trish knocking her down, only to have Becky climb back up for a top rope superplex and a huge crash for two more. Becky goes up as Trish goes for the door so Becky climbs down for the save.

Cue Zoey Stark to grab Trish’s arms but Becky pulls her back in….where Stark slams the door on her face. Not that it matters as the Manhandle Slam gets two, as Stark comes in for the save. Becky is back up and slams the door shut to fight both of them at once. A Manhandle Slam to Stark and a super Manhandle Slam to Trish are enough for the pin at 20:02.

Rating: B+. It was a heck of a fight and what matters is that it felt like the big blow of to the feud. That’s what it needed to be, as this feud has gone on long enough and it’s time for both of them to move on. As usual, Becky looks like a warrior who overcame the odds because very few can hang with her when she is at the top of her game. The Stark interference was a bit much but if that’s the only downside to the match, they did rather well.

Chelsea Green interrupts Adam Pearce over not being on the show so far. He has a highlight package about her though, which as you might expect, is her getting destroyed and humiliated in various ways. Green storms out and R-Truth comes in to say that was better than It’s A Wonderful Life.

Jey Uso talks about how things are a bit different this year because he doesn’t have the family around for the holidays. He got tired of fighting the Bloodline and went to Raw, where Sami Zayn made the transition that much easier. As for 2024, he just wants to be himself.

We look at Judgment Day’s 2023.

From Survivor Series.

Men’s WarGames

Seth Rollins, Cody Rhodes, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, Randy Orton
Damian Priest, Finn Balor, Dominik Mysterio, JD McDonagh, Drew McIntyre

There’s no Orton to start as they’re milking the heck out of this. Balor and Rollins start fast with Rollins diving right at him to get it going. Balor is sent into the cage a few times but slips out of the Buckle Bomb and hits a clothesline. Rollins is sent into the cage as well but comes right back with a Sling Blade. A running knee to the face puts Balor down as McDonagh comes in to give the villains control.

Kendo sticks are brought in as well and the double beating has Rollins down. McDonagh moonsaults from one ring to another to drop Rollins again and more kendo sticks make it worse. Uso evens things up and hammers away with right hands and kicks to the head. McDonagh manages a running Spanish Fly to Uso but he and Rollins are back up with stereo superkicks. The four of them split off as the clock runs down….and Priest tells McIntyre that he’s going in instead.

Priest comes in and is quickly double teamed but the numbers game gets him out of trouble. Some baton shots have the good guys in trouble, setting up Priest’s flip dive off the top. The beating continues until Zayn comes in, though only after slamming the door on Balor’s head. A table is brought in to clean house, including a Blue Thunder Bomb to Balor. McDonagh catches Zayn going up but gets knocked back down, leaving Zayn to pull out a pipe.

With things slowing down, McIntyre comes in to wreck a variety of people until Uso cuts him off with some right hands. A 1D cuts McIntyre down and it’s Rhodes in to even things up again. Rhodes pulls out a bullrope but Rollins wants to know if Orton is going to be here. Mysterio is in to complete the Judgment Day and loads up Three Amigos on Rhodes. The rest of the other team surrounds Mysterio though and the big beatdown is on fast.

The rest of Judgment Day gets up, with McIntyre and Priest hitting stereo moonsaults. Priest Razor’s Edges Rollins through a table as the clock expires….and here is Rhea Ripley with the Money in the Bank briefcase but heeeeeeeeere’s Randy, meaning WarGames is officially on.

House is quickly cleaned and we get the staredown with McIntyre as the fans are impressed. Orton and company start cleaning house, including the quintuple hanging DDTs. Hold on though as Jey and Orton have a staredown (remember the Bloodline put Orton out in the first place) but Jey takes a shot aimed at Orton. Back up and Judgment Day is beaten down, with McDonagh trying to run. That’s cut off and McDonagh is thrown down into the RKO. Cross Rhodes finishes Priest off at 34:21.

Rating: B+. This was a better match than the first, if nothing else due to the match not feeling like it was trying to stretch out time. The Orton return was the big moment, even if he didn’t exactly do much. There was a better story here and it was a heck of a fight, which is how WarGames is supposed to feel. Best match on the show here, which is a good sign given that it was by far the most important.

The winners pose…..and CM PUNK RETURNS! Punk comes to the entrance and hits IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME before hugging some fans to end the show. Well that’s quite the shock.

We look at the reactions to Punk returning and his appearances on Raw, saying he is home.

The hosts wrap us up.

Overall Rating: B. These shows are always weird to grade as they almost can’t have anything bad by default. It covered a lot of the major points of the Raw side of things for the year and that is kind o hard to do in three hours. For a Christmas night special though, this went rather well and that’s all I could have asked for given the circumstances.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – December 22, 2023: I Remember All Of Them

Smackdown
Date: December 22, 2023
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

We’re taped this week for what might be the final Smackdown of the year. Things got interesting to end last week’s show as AJ Styles made his return to go after the Bloodline. At the same time though, he also went after LA Knight, which could have some Royal Rumble implications. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns returning and the challengers lining up, including the returning AJ Styles.

Here is Styles to get things going. Styles talks about how Randy Orton and LA Knight want to face Roman Reigns. He can’t blame them, but he’s at the front of the line to face Reigns. Cue Knight to say he gets Reigns first and the fans are going to be saying his name, but Styles can be first on Knight’s list.

Styles brings up Knight using Styles’ absence to get into the Crown Jewel title shot but here is Orton to interrupt. Orton says this ring is his home but Knight says the Bloodline hasn’t taken him out yet. Cue Nick Aldis to say the three of them can fight in two weeks for the Royal Rumble shot at Reigns. Works for Styles, who tells them both to stay away tonight when he faces Solo Sikoa.

Shotzi/Bianca Belair/Zelina Vega/Michin vs. Damage CTRL

This is Holiday Havoc, the Christmas themed street fight. It’s a big brawl to start with Belair dropkicking Sky into the corner to start. Bayley makes a save but Shotzi is back in with a present. That would be a chair but Bayley blocks the drop toehold onto said chair. Instead Shotzi uses the chair for a springboard dive onto Bayley.

Shotzi hits a big dive but the villains clear the ring with kendo sticks. Belair and Shotzi get their own sticks for their own house cleaning but it takes too long to set up a table. We take a break and come back with everyone down until Vega sends Sky outside. Belair sunset flips Bayley for two and a Doomsday Dropkick, with a trashcan over the head, drops Sky for the same.

Vega drops Sane but gets misted by Asuka, allowing the villains to go for some big boxes. Those contain…Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre, who wreck Sane and Asuka. Bayley gets caught with the KOD and Michin gives Sky Eat Defeat. The top rope backsplash through the table gives Michin the pin on Sky at 12:43.

Rating: B-. I can go or these goofy, completely out there matches and that’s what we had here. It was a fun, goofy match and that’s all it needed to be, though Michin is likely to get a one off title shot out of this. There are worse ways to go for her and throwing in the returns of Dawn and Fyre make this all the more interesting.

Jimmy Uso talks to Solo Sikoa about audibles as Roman Reigns looks annoyed. He wants Nick Aldis here now.

NXT North American Title: Butch vs. Dragon Lee

Lee is defending and works on the wrist to start. Butch punches him in the face but Lee manages a slingshot dropkick in the corner. The running dive to the floor is cut off though and we take a break with Lee in trouble. Back with Butch stomping on the hands until Lee snaps off a running hurricanrana over the top and out to the floor. They get back inside where Butch hits a sitout powerbomb for two, setting up a chop off.

Lee gets the better of things and hits his own sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Butch gets tied in the Tree of Woe but is fine enough snap Lee’s fingers. Since fingers aren’t needed, Lee hits the top rope double stomp for two. Butch’s Bitter End is countered as well and Operation Dragon retains the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. More good stuff here with Lee getting to have another match against a more than capable opponent. That is more than you get most of the time and it worked well here. Lee’s status is growing more and more every week and the more title defenses he gets under his belt, the higher he’ll go. Good stuff here, though can we place find something else for Butch to do?

We recap the US Title #1 contenders tournament.

Paul Heyman brings Nick Aldis to Roman Reigns, who does not like Aldis booking matches without running them by Reigns first. Adam Pearce understood that, but Aldis says he’s the sharp end of the stick around here. Tonight, Solo Sikoa is facing AJ Styles and Sikoa will be fine. He’s a big boot who took care of John Cena in a way that even Reigns didn’t. Aldis is looking forward to getting to know Reigns better. This was good stuff from Aldis here, as he didn’t back down from Reigns and gives him a bit of a new adversary.

US Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Carmelo Hayes

We get an insert interview from Logan Paul (these are GREAT ways to keep him involved when he’s not around) who says Hayes’ first win was impressive but now he has to face the DISGUSTING Kevin Owens. They lock up to start with Hayes taking him down for an early two. An exchange of near falls lets Hayes hit a dropkick and Owens seems impressed. Owens comes back with a right (as in still broken) hand, allowing Hayes to pull him out to the floor.

That’s fine with Owens, who sends Hayes into the steps as we take a break. Back with Hayes grabbing a slam, followed by an ax kick for two. A spinning faceplant gets the same but Owens puts him on top for a hanging DDT. They trade kicks to the face until Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Hayes manages a Codebreaker but Nothing But Net misses, allowing Owens to hit a pop up powerbomb for two more. The Swanton and Stunner send Owens to the finals at 10:20.

Rating: B-. That’s a fine way to get rid of Hayes, who came in and got a win on the main roster before losing to a bigger star. This wasn’t meant to bring Hayes up full time and they didn’t do anything they shouldn’t have done. At the same time, Owens has felt like the obvious winner of the tournament since the beginning so him in the finals was almost expected.

The OC comes in to see AJ Styles, who hasn’t been in touch. Karl Anderson asks if they’re good. Styles: “I don’t know. Are we?”

Karrion Kross promises to take away something else from other people. Of note: he seems to say the word “authors” and as the lights are lashing, two large men can be seen standing around him. Authors of Pain perhaps?

United States Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Bobby Lashley vs. Santos Escobar

The Street Profits are here with Lashley, who starts fast with a running shoulder in the corner. Escobar manages to go up top but gets pulled out of the air and sent outside. We take a break and come back with Escobar hitting a suicide dive. The running knees in the corner connect twice in a row but Lashley fights his way out of a superplex attempt. Cue some men in masks to jump the Profits though, with the distraction letting Escobar grab a rollup for the pin at 8:19.

Rating: C+. That’s a smart move as not only did WWE need a way to get the almost unstoppable Lashley out of the way, but it also avoids the fans cheering for him over Kevin Owens in the finals. Escobar also seems to have some backup now and that could very well set up a nice six man tag against the LWO when Rey Mysterio is back.

Post match the masked men are revealed as Humberto Carrillo and Angel Garza.

Butch is upset by his loss but he lost to the better man. Pretty Deadly comes in to mock him and the fight is on, with Nick Aldis coming in to tell Butch to find a partner for two weeks from now. That sounds Sheamus-y.

Logan Paul isn’t impressed by his potential opponents. As usual, he’s at his best when he’s talking down to people and that was on high here.

Here’s what’s coming in two weeks. Earlier tonight, a graphic confirmed that next week will be a Best Of show.

AJ Styles vs. Solo Sikoa

Styles strikes away to start but gets dropped with a shot to the face. Sikoa is knocked outside for a knee from the apron, followed by a slingshot forearm as we take a break. Back with Sikoa hitting a backdrop and sending Styles back first into the post. Another whip sends Styles face first into the bottom buckle and the running Umaga attack makes it worse.

Styles fights back and drops him as well, setting up a Lionsault for two. The Phenomenal Blitz connects but Sikoa grabs a pop up Samoan drop for another near fall. A forearm to the face looks to set up the Phenomenal Forearm, which is countered into a missed Samoan Spike. Styles gets back up and hits the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Roman Reigns run in for the DQ at 11:33.

Rating: C+. I’m a bit surprised that Styles didn’t get a pin here but he did have Sikoa in trouble until the screwy ending. What matters is that Styles is back in the ring and looked like his old self. I don’t know if he’ll win next week, but having Styles back in any role on the roster is going to be something that helps out quite a bit.

Post match Jimmy Uso comes in to help with the beatdown but Randy Orton and LA Knight make the save. The Bloodline is cleared out but the other three get in a fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a pretty nice show with some good action and quite a few returns. They’ve also set up a pretty stacked card for New Year’s Revolution, which should be a big time event to send us on to the Royal Rumble. You have to do well n the way to a Best Of show next week and they did well enough, though I wouldn’t call anything here worth going out of your way to see.

Results
Shotzi/Bianca Belair/Zelina Vega/Michin b. Damage CTRL – Top rope backsplash through at able to Sky
Dragon Lee b. Butch – Operation Dragon
Kevin Owens b. Carmelo Hayes – Stunner
Santos Escobar b. Bobby Lashley – Rollup
AJ Styles b. Solo Sikoa via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

 

 

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