Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s one of the biggest shows of the year and I can’t bring myself to get excited over it. This show really hasn’t been built up very well with only the Smackdown World Title match with Kurt Angle defending against Brock Lesnar offering much interest. The rest of the show feels very flat, especially the Raw World Title match which should have been Goldberg vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

The United States Marine Corps Color Guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. As always, it’s an outstanding performance.

The opening video shows a beach but the sun goes behind a cloud and the shot shifts to the Elimination Chamber. The narration basically makes it sounds like the Chamber is poisoning everyone’s souls and turning them all evil, including Kane, who isn’t even in the thing. I’d bet money that Jim Ross wrote that, thinking it sounded even more dramatic than when he gives the Cell human characteristics.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and Bubba brings out the American flag. The Dudleys jump them in the aisle and the beatdown is on with D-Von choking Dupree with the robe. An armdrag into an armbar (FEEL THE HATRED!) doesn’t go very well as Dupree takes D-Von into the corner so the champs can take over. D-Von is right back with the shots to the head, allowing the tag off to the very loud Bubba. It might be annoying, but I can always go for a partner making noise and being active on the apron instead of just standing there.

Grenier gets tied in the Tree of Woe so Bubba can stand between his legs for a loud scream. It’s not quite table time, allowing Grenier to get in a cheap shot so the champs can really take over. Dupree grabs a bearhug, which is quite the odd visual on someone as big as Bubba. A Bubba Bomb gets him out of trouble though and the not very hot tag brings in D-Von for the house cleaning.

Dupree gets powerslammed for two but the champs clear the ring again. The double spinebuster gets two on D-Von (there’s the crowd reaction, and all it took was kicking out of the champs’ finisher). Bubba comes back in for the Flip, Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up on Grenier. 3D connects but Grenier pulls the referee out, allowing a cameraman to deck D-Von with his camera, giving Dupree the pin. It’s the serviceman from Raw of course.

Rating: C-. The match was ok, but not exactly the hottest choice in the world for an opener. Having the Americans lose to the EVIL Frenchmen doesn’t quite get the show off on the right foot and now we’re likely to see another rematch between these teams as this feud to show off THE POWERS OF AMERICA continues. La Resistance is fine to hold the titles, but they need something more than “we are French and therefore evil”.

Post match Spike Dudley comes in and gets beaten down as well. So after the big American military opening and carrying the flag, the Dudleys lose to the heatless champions again. The Dudleys would get the belts back a month later, but instead we need to see them lose here. Of course we also needed this match instead of the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Rey Mysterio, John Cena or Christian.

Coach tries to talk to the Dudleys but makes the mistake of praising La Resistance’s success. Bubba declares that people who hate America suck and promises to get the belts back.

Christian asks Eric Bischoff why he’s not on the show but Eric blames Steve Austin. Since he can’t wrestle, he offers to be Bischoff’s backup tonight. Bischoff has a plan though and promises to tell the world what happened with Linda on Monday.

We recap A-Train running Stephanie McMahon over last month and costing her a match against Sable. This turned into A-Train vs. Undertaker and WWE actually expects us to believe that this isn’t going to turn into Sable vs. Stephanie again.

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Sable is with A-Train in a rather nice outfit. Undertaker has bad ribs so he dodges a bit to start instead of going in full steam ahead. Instead of staying on the ribs, A-Train tries a headlock, allowing Undertaker to knee him in the ribs and take over. The running DDT gets two on A-Train and Old School connects early on. A shot to the ribs finally cuts Undertaker off (thanks for finally getting the idea Train) and some forearms to the ribs are good for two.

A-Train stays on the ribs with a vertical suplex, followed by a headbutt. Cole: “It’s like being hit in the head with a typewriter.” Normally I would question that, but Cole is the kind of dolt who would do that for fun. Undertaker manages Snake Eyes and a double clothesline puts both guys down for a quick rest.

A slugout goes to Undertaker (well duh) and a big legdrop gets two. For some reason Undertaker tries the Last Ride but a shove gives us a ref bump. The Derailer of course gets a delayed two and the referee gets bumped again. That is way, WAY too popular of a booking trope these days. A-Train hits the bicycle kick to take Undertaker down but gets a chair kicked into his face for two. The chokeslam gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. Matches against power guys like this can be Undertaker’s bread and butter but there’s only so much you can do to make A-Train interesting. The match wasn’t terrible and they kept it slow enough, but this Undertaker stands up for Stephanie thing is about as forced as you can get. There’s only so much you can do as a surrogate for Vince vs. Stephanie, especially when the best villain available for the spot is A-Train.

Post match Undertaker loads up the Last Ride but Sable comes in and rubs his chest. Undertaker grabs her by the throat and STEPHANIE IS BACK!!! WE CAN LIVE HAPPY LIVES AGAIN!!! Stephanie gets to do some catfighting until A-Train pulls Sable out. I guess this is what passes for a big moment around here.

Some fans in the front row think Goldberg is going to win the Chamber. Uh, thanks for that.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff, which starts off looking a lot like Shane vs. Kane. Bischoff then decided that he hated Shane for stealing WCW from him back in 2001. You know, because that’s a story people were thinking about. Eric went after Shane, including having Kane attack him and cost him a match against Eric.

Then Eric went to Connecticut and may have forced himself on Linda McMahon. It came out of almost nowhere and really was more of a complicated way to get to Kane vs. Shane. It’s more of WWE thinking you could just toss a McMahon into a story and everything would be fine, which doesn’t work as well when you do it in two straight matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Bischoff addresses what happened with Linda, saying it happened again and again and again. Now he knows where Shane gets all of his energy, so here’s Shane in a….complete non hurry actually. Shane pounds him down in the corner with reckless abandon (Or is it still Ruthless Aggression?), followed by some forearms to the ear (called crossfaces by JR).

Eric can’t make it up the aisle as Christian might be coming off like a good idea right about now. A baseball slide sends Eric into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. Shane’s dancing punches take Bischoff down again but the Coach of all people comes in to chair Shane down. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: Bischoff thought COACH was a better option than the Intercontinental Champion? I get that they want to protect Christian from having to get beaten up by Shane but that makes no sense from Bischoff’s perspective.

Eric says he’s restarting the match as falls count anywhere with no disqualifications so Coach sends Shane into the steps for two. They head inside where Bischoff tells the production staff to cut JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do live commentary in the ring. Bischoff throws kicks as Coach does the traditional job of mocking JR. Shane finally gets in a kick of his own and scores with a DDT, only to have Coach hit him low.

That’s enough to make the glass shatter, as everyone knew was coming. Coach does the “I’m not touching you” thing until Shane shoves him into Austin, meaning the beatdown can be on. The dispatching doesn’t take long and Austin orders JR and King’s mics be turned on again. Austin is about to leave but Shane grabs Bischoff’s hand and slaps Austin in the jaw, meaning a Stunner is perfectly acceptable. Shane pulls him up at two though, as the big elbow drives Bischoff through the announcers’ table for the pin.

Rating: F. What did this accomplish? There’s no reason this couldn’t have been the end of Monday Night Raw as the big deal was Coach turning heel. Use this valuable pay per view time (some of the biggest pay per view time of the year) on the people who matter, not for the sake of making Kane look good because he never gets to do that otherwise. This was really annoying, especially when you consider everything that was left off the show so this could get a lot of time.

Beer is consumed post match because this hasn’t eaten up enough time yet.

HHH and Ric Flair get very serious with Randy Orton, telling him that he needs to focus on keeping the title on HHH and nothing more. Orton: “What? I got it.”

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending under tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Tony Chimmel tells us that this is the four way for the US Title before telling us that this is the four way for the US Title. It’s a brawl to start with Eddie staying on the floor, which might not be the smartest move in the world here. With Tajiri sent outside, Benoit snaps the Crossface onto Rhyno, drawing Eddie in for the save. Rhyno clotheslines Tajiri for two and Eddie is there for the save again. Eddie gets triple teamed but Rhyno shifts over to Benoit for some reason.

A powerslam gives Rhyno two on Eddie as it’s still all over the place, albeit not at the fastest pace. Rhyno and Benoit are sent outside, leaving Tajiri to monkey flip Eddie for two. All four are back in with Rhyno superplexing Eddie for two with Tajiri making the save. Tajiri gets the same by kicking Benoit in the head but the champ saves this time. A headscissors puts Rhyno on the floor and Eddie’s rope walk hurricanrana gets two on Benoit.

Tajiri comes back in and gets caught in the Lasso From El Paso but Benoit quickly follows with a Crossface on Rhyno. Eddie isn’t sure what to do but Tajiri making the ropes makes his decision much easier. That earns Eddie a Crossface of his own until Rhyno and Tajiri break it up. Rhyno busts up Tajiri’s spine for two and it’s Benoit rolling some German suplexes to make Tajiri feel even worse.

Tajiri manages to get in one of his own though and bridges back for a close two, leaving everyone down at once. Back up and Tajiri gets Benoit in the Tarantula, leaving Rhyno to Gore Eddie. The problem is Eddie had the US Title in his hands to bust up Rhyno’s shoulder, leaving him down in pain. Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two as Tajiri dives in for a save, only to have both of them fall outside. Eddie sneaks in with a frog splash to pin Rhyno and retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was trying hard to be great. There were a few too many dead spots in there though and they never hit a higher gear that they were capable of, but at least they did well with what they did. Eddie stealing the pin after cheating with the belt makes perfect sense for him and it’s the right idea to keep the title on him with the roll he’s currently on.

We look at Brock Lesnar destroying Zach Gowen, who will be out for a good while as a result.

Earlier tonight on Heat, Matt Hardy accepted a forfeit win over Gowen.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock beat Angle for the title at Wrestlemania and Angle went on the shelf. While he was out, Angle and Lesnar became friends, which lead them to Vengeance where Angle won the title back in a triple threat. A few weeks later, Lesnar turned on Angle to join forces with Vince in the name of being the REAL Brock Lesnar. Brock attacked Angle in a cage and left him laying, which has only ticked Angle off coming in to the title match.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock is challenging and we actually get an old school rules explanation from the referee. They hit the mat to start with Angle getting the better of it (not exactly shocking) and frustrating Lesnar early on. Another takedown looks to set up the ankle lock but Kurt goes to a headlock that Brock can break far more easily. Odd thinking there. Back up and Brock shoves him away without too much effort so Angle armdrags Lesnar outside, frustrating Brock all over again.

Kurt follows him outside and starts in on Brock’s knee before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the first suplex gets two on Brock, who responds by gorilla pressing him out to the floor in a big crash (great visual with Angle just falling to the floor). Now it’s Brock’s turn for a suplex as he’s starting to look all surly. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Kurt and we hit the rear naked choke before that meant much to a lot of fans. It’s off to a regular bodyscissors instead, followed by a chinlock.

Of course Angle fights up (after Brock let go of two better holds), this time being cut down by a hard knee to the ribs. A hard clothesline drops Angle again and the move that would become known as Shell Shock (complete with walking around the ring) gives Brock two. Some shoulders in the corner stay on Angle’s ribs so Kurt hits him in the face. You don’t do that to Lesnar though and Angle gets more shoulders to his ribs for his efforts.

Brock’s big running charge goes into the post though and Kurt’s running shoulder block staggers Lesnar. A dropkick to the knee has Brock in more trouble and it’s time to roll the German suplexes (with Lesnar holding the shoulder off each one). The Angle Slam doesn’t work and Brock goes back to the ribs with a spinebuster. Since one finisher is countered, the other has to be as well so Kurt reverses the F5 into a good looking DDT for two of his own. Now the Angle Slam is good for two and Angle is even more fired up.

In my favorite Angle spot, he puts the straps back up so he can take them down all over again. The ankle lock goes on but Brock rolls forward, sending Angle into the referee. Kurt charges at him for what looks like a sunset flip but stops halfway, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck and arm (almost in an upside down triangle choke). Since that’s not the easiest hold to maintain, Angle switches over to the ankle lock for the tap but there’s no referee.

Cue Vince to chair Angle in the back, setting up the F5 for a delayed two. Another F5 is reversed into the ankle lock to put Brock in real trouble. He grabs all four bottom ropes but the hold isn’t broken for absolutely no apparent reasons, meaning Brock has to tap to retain Angle’s title.

Rating: B+. It’s not quite their Wrestlemania match but Angle getting his win back makes sense….in theory. They’ve been building Lesnar up as the unstoppable monster for the last few weeks so it would have made sense to have him win here (with Vince’s help) before losing the rematch down the line. That being said, I’m fine with Angle retaining here as it makes sense from the long term. In other words, this one depends on how you look at it, but it’s a rather strong match either way.

Vince gets an Angle Slam through a chair to wish him a happy birthday.

We recap Kane vs. Rob Van Dam. Kane lost his mask and despite Van Dam trying to calm him down and say that he didn’t need the mask, Kane went crazy and started destroying everything in his path. This included beating up Van Dam, Shane McMahon and Linda McMahon and setting Jim Ross on fire. This seems to be setting up Kane vs. Shane, but first Van Dam gets his shot tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

No Holds Barred, which is added right before the match. JR refers to Kane as the “byproduct of an inbred mongrel dog”. As I so often wonder of both JR and Jim Cornette: WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Van Dam tries to start fast but gets clotheslined down in short order. They head outside with Kane sending him into the barricade but charging into a boot, allowing Rob to follow up with another kick to the face.

Van Dam gets posted though and it’s time for a ladder. Rob is smart enough to kick it into his face, followed by a top rope kick to the chest. A crossbody puts them both on the floor and of course Kane takes over again. The announcers talk about what Kane did to Linda, which is both a good and bad idea. It’s good in that it shows you what Kane is capable of and how evil he is, but it also shows you how unimportant this match is because it’s all about Shane vs. Kane down the line.

Back in and another kick to Kane’s face knocks him into the corner (there’s certainly a pattern here) as JR deems Kane smelly. Kane shoves Rob off the top and down onto the barricade as the violence starts to go the monster’s way again. The ladder to the face drops Rob again and it’s time for some simple choking. Thankfully the referee doesn’t break it up because that comes off as barring a hold, which might get a lawyer involved with his life.

Rob gets kicked outside again and this time Kane follows by going to the top, only to dive into the barricade by mistake (that looked bad on replay as Kane seemed to slip, leaving him without enough distance and sending him head first into the barricade). Now it’s Rob getting in a ladder shot, which Kane of course shrugs off.

A DDT on the floor knocks Rob silly but he’s able to drop toehold Kane into the steps. The spinning kick from the apron drops Kane again, followed by Rolling Thunder onto the chair. Kane sits up so Rob dropkicks the chair into his face for good measure. The Van Terminator misses though and a Tombstone onto the steps is enough to end Rob.

Rating: B. Nice brawl here but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it didn’t mean anything given the story they’ve already told us is coming. Rob was trying here though and made the match fun, especially with the story of the wrestling going to Van Dam and the hardcore stuff going to Kane, but we’re heading for Kane vs. Shane and everyone knows it.

Bischoff is banged up and doesn’t want to talk about his loss but Linda McMahon comes in. Eric starts stammering and gets slapped in the face as the billionaire gets revenge. I can totally relate.

Flair gives HHH a final pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

Long recap on the main event, which also features a look at the Chamber. HHH was scheduled to defend against Goldberg one on one but a torn groin necessitated a multi-person match because Heaven forbid HHH take a spear and Jackhammer and lose in a short match with the excuse that he wasn’t ready or was wrestling hurt or any other idea they had. Somehow we get Kevin Nash in another main event though, because that’s what the world was waiting for. There have been some personal issues added after the match announcement but it still feels a little thrown together.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

The intervals are three minutes this year because we need to move this along. Goldberg slips during his entrance, which is edited out of the Network version (though he goes from standing in the middle of the stage to a few steps to the right off a camera cut). Shawn and Jericho start us off as the fans chant for Goldberg. They hit the mat to start for the Flair pinfall reversal sequence before trading slaps.

Shawn backdrops him but has to switch to a small package to escape the Walls attempt. Jericho can’t hit the Lionsault so instead we’ll listen to JR mess up history by saying this title has only changed hands once before in Arizona. That’s some nice sounding trivia, but remember that this title isn’t even a year old yet and has its own lineage. Sure that doesn’t mean much, but this is the way WWE has set things up and they can’t keep it straight. Anyway, Orton is in third with a high crossbody for two on Shawn, followed by the signature backbreaker gets the same on Jericho.

The RKO is broken up though and Jericho backdrops Orton onto the steel. Now the Walls work just fine on Shawn but it’s Kevin Nash in fourth. That’s enough for Jericho to break it up and go after Nash, who isn’t happy with his new haircut. I find it rather spiffy, even as Nash throws Jericho into the Chamber wall. Nash’s side slam gets two on Orton and Jericho is busted open. Nash goes over for a Jackknife, only to get superkicked down, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the pin, meaning Nash was in there for all of two minutes.

HHH is in fifth….and Shawn superkicks him right back into the pod. Nash isn’t done yet though and Jackknifes Jericho and Orton as a parting gift. Shawn, who is down off throwing a superkick, covers both villains for two each. Everyone punches it out until Goldberg is in to complete the field. Right hands and forearms abound and it’s the spear to get rid of Orton in short order. Jericho gets launched onto the cage floor again and another spear sends him through the Plexiglas.

As Goldberg gets back in, Shawn scores with a forearm followed by the top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music misses though and it’s a spear and Jackhammer to get us down to three. The same thing gets rid of Jericho and it’s HHH (who still hasn’t gotten out of the pod) vs. Goldberg for the title.

Flair shuts the pod again and holds it shut as well as he can, only to have Goldberg break the “unbreakable Plexiglas”. Some right hands keep HHH in trouble and Goldberg sends him into the Chamber walls a few times. A clothesline takes him down again and HHH is busted open. Goldberg loads up the spear but Flair slips HHH the sledgehammer to knock Goldberg cold and the title is retained.

Rating: D. This wasn’t even twenty minutes long. The best way to describe this match would be a middle finger to the fans who are nearly dying to see HHH lose that freaking title already but we need to make sure he’s ready to give Goldberg the rub or something. I’m not sure how WWE can validate keeping the title on HHH when they have Goldberg right there and HHH can barely move, but I’m sure it’s just the right thing to do, at least according to HHH. That’s 2003 in a nutshell: cheer for whomever you want, but you get HHH.

The rest of the match was of course nothing because Goldberg was the only person who could conceivably win the thing. Instead of something competitive and compelling, it was fifteen minutes of waiting around on Goldberg, then Goldberg crushing people for a few minutes, and then HAHA IT’S THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAIN! The ending was so deflating that there’s not

Evolution beats Goldberg down and handcuffs him to the Chamber because WWE needs to demonstrate how to book Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. The show isn’t even that bad, but rather almost completely flat. There are a few good matches with Brock vs. Angle being a highlight but that just made me want to watch the Wrestlemania match again. The TV coming into this show has been really dull due to a lot of McMahons and while they were used more sparingly here, you could still feel them throughout the whole show. That main event really took the life out of the whole thing though and there was nothing else that was going to fix things. Not a good show, but it could have been worse.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: C-

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: F

Rhyno vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B

2018 Redo: B+

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: B

HHH vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: D

That’s one of the hardest swings I’ve ever had on a show but you can see a little consistency in there somewhere.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/08/summerslam-count-up-2003-meet-the-old-hhh-same-as-the-new-hhh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The US Marine Corps presents the American flag while Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video talks about how there is evil in this world and the Chamber tonight will prove it.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

Coach says La Resistance was clever so Bubba accuses him of being anti-American and vows to get the belts back.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

A-Train starts pounding away on the ribs and sends them into the barricade for two back in the ring. Taker gets in some shots to the ribs of his own for a breather but A-Train comes back with an impressive suplex to take him down. This is the kind of character A-Train was perfect as: a heavy who could do some impressive moves at times. A-Train fights out of a sleeper with a belly to back suplex but Taker hits a quick Snake Eyes to get a breather. A big boot misses the big bald head and a double clothesline puts each other down.

Taker wins a slugout after A-Train hung in there a lot longer than expected. Now the big boot sets up the legdrop (BROTHER) for two and another legdrop to the back of the head with A-Train on the apron has the bald one staggered. The Last Ride is easily broken up but the referee is bumped.

A-Train hits the Derailer (chokebomb) but the delayed count only gets two. Taker accidentally clotheslines the referee down again (the second match does NOT warrant two ref bumps) and A-Train brings in a chair, only to have it cracked over his own head for a near fall. A-Train escapes a tombstone but gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting out of this match? This was back when Taker was pretty bad in the ring due to being completely unmotivated and bored with the biker character. Thankfully he would be the Dead Man again by Wrestlemania and would eventually reignite his career around 2007.

Post match Sable tries to seduce Taker for some reason but Stephanie comes in to go after her, presumably setting up a mixed tag.

Coach polls some fans on who wins the Chamber.

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Wrestlemania moment. Kind of an odd time for one of these but Shawn superkicking Bret was an awesome moment.

Flair and HHH tell Orton to keep the title on the Game tonight and nothing more.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Lesnar picks up the belt and tries to walk out with it but Kurt pounds him down in the aisle to start the brawling. Back in and Angle snaps off the first overhead belly to belly for two before stomping him down in the corner. Brock comes right back with a gorilla press and throws Angle out to the floor. Angle is sent into the steps as this is far different from the Wrestlemania match. Back in and Brock hits a release belly to belly without leaving his feet.

Some Arizona Diamondbacks are here.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

RVD kicks out of the chokeslam but gets knocked out to the floor as the brawl continues. Kane sends him into the steps and is in full on monster mode. Back in and Van Dam scores with a kick and some shoulders to the ribs for two. Rob goes up top but gets shoved down onto the barricade to give Kane control again. A ladder to the face gets two back in the ring and a big clothesline puts Van Dam down again.

We hit the slow motion part of the match as Kane pounds on Van Dam very slowly to stop the crowd from being interested. Van Dam is backdropped to the floor but Kane badly botches the top rope clothesline, nearly falling on his head and dying. Kane avoids another ladder shot and DDTs Van Dam on he floor, only to have Rob catch a charging Kane in a drop toehold to send him face first into the steps. Kane is kicked into the crowd and crotched as he tries to come back to ringside.

Eric is annoyed that Terri is asking him questions. Linda comes in and slaps Bischoff in the face.

HHH looks at the world title.

The Chamber is lowered.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Flair shoves the pod door closed to save HHH so Goldberg kicks the pod door in so we can actually have a match. Goldberg pounds away in the pod before sending HHH face first into the cage. The champion is busted open but he FINALLY gets in a kick to the leg and sends Goldberg into the cage. Goldberg comes right back with a clothesline and they head into the ring. The spear is loaded up but hits the sledgehammer that Flair slid in, keeping the title on HHH.

Post match HHH and Evolution gets to destroy Goldberg again with the hammer to really pound in who is the star. Goldberg is handcuffed to the cage so HHH can shove the belt in his face and remind him who the champion is to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: C

Redo: D+

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

Redo: N/A

Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: B

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Goldberg vs. HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C

So I liked almost all of the matches more or the same the first time, but the overall rating is much higher this time. Not surprising.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So Austin and Rock are retired, Lesnar is still a big name, HBK stuck around to shock the world even more, and that’s about it. Seriously, not much else has happened. Cena and Batista haven’t risen to power yet as they’re about a year and a half away from taking over the company. There is a new arrival however: Goldberg, who I wouldn’t call a flop but I’d call him a disappointment.

He’s at war with HHH over the title currently, so that’s your main feud, but of course they couldn’t just have them go one on one, so we get the second Elimination Chamber instead. Your other main event here is Brock vs. Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. The card looks….ok I guess but a bit top heavy. Let’s see how it is.

Lillian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner with the Marine Corps Color Guard on the stage. To say she’s gorgeous is an understatement. They need to do this more often at PPVs. The opening video is pretty good, as we hear a clock striking what I would assume to be midnight and with each bell sound we see a clip of another match. Oh I forgot to mention: Lesnar is a heel again and is working for Vince.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

This is as simple as you can get here: the French champions make fun of American so the American team that’s never really been patriotic rally round the flag to fight for the Red White and Blue, despite the fact that the French flag has the same colors but you get the idea I guess. La Resistance are the guys that were the tag team of the year at this time, always holding the belts mainly due to the fact that they never had any opponents of note to face them.

The Dudleys were guys you could just throw into the title picture and it would work though, much like they do now in TNA. Guys like that are great to have because their resume makes them a legit threat so you know you’ll get a decent performance out of them and they make the other team look good. It’s the same thing that Shawn Michaels did in the last year or so.

He was never going to beat Jericho for the belt, but he was a legit challenger that you could count on for a solid match and he can be thrown into the title picture at a moment’s notice and be perfectly credible. That’s a very valuable asset to have. This was also back in the day of the old school tag title belts which I’ve always loved. JR touches on the idea that Bubba and D-Von are related which he kind of brushes off.

The faces are WAY over and take control early on which makes sense. They continue to dominate after a brief heel comeback, but after the 3D a cameraman comes in and hits D-Von with the picture taking machine for the pin. Bubba was too busy counting the three to stop the run in to break up the 3D, so the heels steal it. Post match, the camera guy beats up D-Von, Bubba and Spike who runs in for the attempted save, with the camera. Of course it’s Rob Conway, who didn’t have a name yet.

Rating: C. This felt like an extended TV match to me. It was ok, but nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw. The tag division was pretty much the same for about 5 years and it’s still that way today, with not much of anything of note going on other than the occasional title change. La Resistance was nothing special, but they were ok I guess. Not a bad match, just nothing that jumps off the page at me.

Coach interviews the Dudleys in the aisle, saying that the French were clever. Bubba doesn’t like this.

Bischoff is warming up and Christian talks to him like they’ve never met. Really? Bischoff is fighting Shane tonight for some reason. Christian is upset that he doesn’t have a match and Eric blames his co-GM, Stone Cold. The audio is bad here for some reason and I can’t make out all of what they’re saying.

We see the recap of Taker against A-Train. Basically Vince is hiring all the monsters he can find and Taker is the one he can’t get, so he’s the one that fights them off. A-Train started by attacking Stephanie last month at Vengeance to keep her from beating Sable, who Vince was having an open affair with.

Then, Taker fought back but A-Train kept making him lose matches, including one on Smackdown by pinfall to John Cena. Yes, Cena has indeed hit the FU to the Undertaker and pinned him in the middle of the ring. Anyway, that of course leads to this match.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

Taker’s music with lyrics is just awesome. This is the very end of his biker character though, as he was literally buried at Survivor Series by Kane in a Buried Alive match. I used to get the opening to A-Train’s music and JBL’s music confused. How can Sable be this hot at this age? She’s even hot now with Brock and this is 6 years later. Why is Taker in the second match of the night? Can I get an explanation?

Sable’s chest is EPIC here. Taker still has taped up ribs. Basic big man match for Taker which is probably his specialty: fighting monsters. A-Train was always someone that they wanted to push it seemed but it just never happened. Old School puts the train down.

We hit the floor for a bit and Taker’s back goes into the post as A-Train takes over. Can we just look at Sable’s chest some more? It’s certainly more entertaining. Taker grabs a sleeper of all things but walks into a belly to back suplex as Train keeps dominating. Taker gets out of the corner as nothing but punches. At times it seems like he does nothing but that and his finishers.

After some very basic stuff Taker can’t get the Last Ride and walks into a Derailer (choke powerbomb) for two of course. Good grief this is a formulamatic match. Down goes the referee as A-Train hits a bicycle kick and grabs a chair. It gets kicked into his face for two as we learn a good lesson about bringing a foreign object in. Use AMERICAN DANG IT! Chokeslam ends it clean.

Rating: D. Again, Taker is good at fighting monsters, but it feels like a TV match and nothing more. Why would I want to watch a TV match on PPV when I have to pay for it? It’s ok, but that’s all it is. A-Train was an underused talent, but come on. Taker deserves more than an underused talent, and to be fair he would be put into a title feud with Lesnar starting in the next week or two. Sable was hot as fire though.

Post match, Sable comes in to try to seduce Taker. Taker doesn’t go for that and chokes her until Stephanie returns and beats the heck out of her. Cole says she kicks the heck out of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s only punches. Then again, I’m no professional. Sable and A-Train bail as Cole freaks because of the power in the ring at the moment.

Brock has a new DVD.

We see Jericho stretching in the back as Coach is at ringside asking fans who they think will win the EC tonight. Everyone thinks Goldberg. If you’re going to waste time, I guess you might as well involve the audience.

Hit the recap button for Bischoff vs. Shane. This is REALLY long so I’ll try to summarize it as well as I can. Shane and Kane were feuding because Kane tombstoned Linda. Vince is being a jerk and won’t let Shane fight Kane, so Shane fights Bischoff. Kane saves Eric and helps him win. JR then decides that since Bischoff caused Kane to try to burn JR alive, that he’s going to sue Eric.

Austin comes out and says that JR won’t sue if Bischoff agrees to face someone. Eric, assuming it’s Shane, agrees. However, it’s Kane. For no apparent reason, Kane bails and Eric immediately wins by count out. However, the contract had a clause in it that said that the winner got Shane at Summerslam.

My that’s a fast contract to have drawn up in a matter of minutes isn’t it? Anyway, Bischoff goes to Vince’s house and kisses Linda and it’s implied he either raped her or slept with her with her being willing.

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

According to Tony Schiavone, anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Bischoff is a great fighter. In other words, about 4 people know that. Eric gets on the mic before Shane comes out and implies again that he slept with Linda. Eric is cut off by Shane’s music. You can tell he’s mad because he only dances a bit. They’re on the floor inside of a minute as Shane is just killing him as you would expect.

Shane keeps rolling in and breaking the count and then goes back out again and it’s getting annoying quickly. JR references an elevator company, and sadly enough I get the reference. Coach pops up and smacks Shane in the back with a chair. Bischoff gets on the mic and makes it a hardcore match. Bischoff says that since Coach is the best commentator of all time to cut off JR and Lawler so that Coach can do all of the commentary. Yeah, this isn’t going to be bad at all.

What was the appeal of Coach? I’ve yet to ever be entertained by him at all. Without commentary this is somehow more boring if that’s possible. Shane finally wakes up and fights them both off, breathing some much needed life back into the crowd, but Austin comes out to really wake things up. I miss JR screaming about this. Austin can’t hit Coach though unless he’s touched so we get the I’m not touching you joke.

Shane makes Coach touch him though, which I think is illegal in some states, leading to the Austin beatdown. Austin and Shane make a weird team to say the least. Austin thankfully turns the announcers back on, which I hope is illegal in all states. Bischoff slaps him and gets a stunner from the man that he fired via fed ex.

Shane puts Eric through the Spanish Announce Table, which is famous enough to get all capital letters, with the elbow for the pin on the floor. JR calls this coast to coast. No JR, no. Austin and Shane have beers to kill some more time.

Rating: D. This was more like a big angle and it went on WAY too long. There were parts of this where it was just dragging on and on and on. Austin coming out completely saved this as it was an incredible boring segment. Coach is a waste of air and always has been so why would I care about him?

This was just really bad with only Austin being interesting at all. You know, even after this, the problem for Shane is that it’s never known if Linda did anything or not, so what does Shane actually gain out of this?

Of all things, we get a Wrestlemania Recall. Dude, the show is EIGHT MONTHS AWAY. I get the idea of early promotion, but come on now isn’t that a bit much?

Nash is getting ready for the Elimination Chamber.

Flair is with Orton, talking about how HHH will win tonight. Evolution was in a weird stage at the moment as Batista was out with an injury. The real reign of terror would begin in October when he came back.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Eddie is champion here. All four are in the ring and the first person to either get a submission or as Chimmel puts it, catch a pinfall, is the champion. After announcing that, he says it again seconds later in case we weren’t listening I guess. There’s no backstory here that I know of and if there is they don’t cover it. I can’t find any mention of one, so I’m guessing it’s one of those let’s throw everyone together and have them do their best. That can be a great idea at times.

Eddie comes out in a car of course. He would very soon be pushed to the main event and given the WWE Title in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time as he wasn’t a big enough star and obviously wasn’t ready for it, and likely never would be ready for it. Oh so Eddie hit all of them with the belt on Smackdown so that’s our story? Dude, anyone can do better than that. The US Title is just over a month old at this point, so it’s not like there’s time for a real history.

Eddie beat Benoit for it in a tournament final at Vengeance the previous month. It’s funny seeing the table all destroyed with Eddie standing in front of it. It looks so out of place and it’s making me chuckle. It’s kind of cool to think that Benoit and Eddie would both be champions at the end of Mania in 8 months. I love the Rhyno character around this time as he was just completely insane and liked hurting people. I love that.

In other words, he was his normal self. Four ECW guys out there as well, so if nothing else ECW had an eye for talent. I always like the Lasso From El Paso. In a very cool spot, Benoit puts Rhyno in the Crossface at the same time Eddie has the Lasso From El Paso on Tajiri. For one thing, the referee isn’t sure who to check on, but Eddie has a problem. Does he try to win, or does he break up the Crossface to save the title? That’s very smart and I really like it.

Tajiri gets to the ropes though so that’s all over. Eddie gets put in it and it takes several kicks from Rhyno and Tajiri to get him to break it up. Why does ever spinebuster have to contain an Arn Anderson reference? We get it, he had a sweet move. I will always mark out for the rolling German suplexes. Rhyno hits a gore but Eddie is holding the belt which is an old and classic move. Benoit and Tajiri fight to the floor which allows Eddie to steal the pin with the Frog Splash.

Rating: B-. To me, this is perfect for a PPV title defense for a new champion. It looks challenging, he gets a clean pin over an opponent, it’s about 11 minutes long, and two guys save face, allowing them to challenge for the title in the future because they didn’t get pinned. The wrestling was fine, but as is the problem with multi-man matches, it can get hard to follow. Either way, this was fine and a great way to really start Eddie’s reign.

Shawn Michaels is in a hallway getting ready. I guess that’s better than being in a closet.

Metallica is doing the theme song, with St. Anger. Still not sure if I like that album or not. The song is good, but I’m not sold on it. It’s certainly not bad, but I’m not sure if it is good enough for Metallica.

Lesnar has been a monster lately and this past Thursday he beat up Zach Gowen, and for those of you that don’t know, he had one leg. He broke his leg apparently. Gowen was supposed to fight Matt Hardy on Heat, so Matt declared himself the winner. Matt saying that real wrestlers fight through injuries absolutely cracked me up.

We get the recap of the Angle/Lesnar feud, which they more or less say has only happened over the course of a month and not 8 months, which is the real case. Angle was a heel back then so I guess that’s why. Angle won the title at Vengeance as a face but it was a triple threat. Kurt and Brock formed kind of a super team in between the shows as Angle said Brock helped him through his injury. After he agreed to the title match though, Lesnar turned heel in a complicated angle.

Vince said that Brock had to earn the title shot, but he would have to beat Vince in a cage match to earn it. Ok, that makes little sense on Vince’s part so I guess that means everything is perfectly normal. To continue making things odd, he makes Kurt the guest referee. Before the match though, someone attacks him.

Lesnar goes into the match anyway but collapses. Angle beats up Vince but Lesnar is faking and turns heel by beating up Angle. I’m not wild on Lesnar being the heel, but I guess that works. I am glad that he comes out alone though.

Smackdown Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

They start with amateur moves which I’m always a fan of. It’s just cool to see guys that are so naturally talented at things like that and it’s always fun to watch. This was back when Angle still had meat on him and didn’t look like he was about 200lbs. He was also relatively sane at the time, which is always a plus. In a funny visual, Angle out wrestles Lesnar and sends him to the floor. The Spanish guys STILL have no table.

They have at least a dozen tables for hardcore matches but they can’t loan the Spanish guys one for the night? I’d love to hear how ticked off they are at times. It turns into more of a brawl and Lesnar takes over as is expected. Lesnar’s second press slam is countered into a rollup. I like that as it shows that Angle learns with every move that he uses. That’s a nice little touch that likely wasn’t even intentional at all.

Lesnar busts out a rear naked choke so I guess MMA was always in his blood. We slow it down a LOT as Brock takes over with some standard heel stuff which is fine, but when I watch Brock Lesnar I want to see more than just stomps and chin locks. They keep talking about how Brock won the title last year, which is stupid as I’m pretty sure he’s done more since then. In this match, we get some of the good Angle, as he gets into that zone of his and more or less wills himself to victory.

He continues to steal moves from other wrestlers as he launches into a series of Germans from that other guy. Angle gets thrown over his head as I completely love Brock’s belly to belly and I always have. This review is rather short but as I’ve said many times, it’s hard to make fun of a good match. Lesnar’s shoulder hit the post so it’s hurt as well. Angle counters the F5 into a DDT while making it look miles better than Eddie would at No Way Out.

He pulls the straps down and for likely the first time ever, I’m loving Kurt Angle. He’s much better as a face than a heel to me, but I’m odd in that area. In a very weird thing, Angle puts the straps back up, only to pull them down again. Um, why? It looked very odd to see him do that as he got the big pop for it once so I guess he wanted another big pop? Either way it came off as odd. Ankle lock is on after Brock kicks out of the slam. In a huge twist, the referee gets knocked down.

Angle looks like he’s going for a sunset flip but in a unique move he locks his legs around Brock’s head and I guess uses a sleeper? It looks cool and I could see it working as a knockout hold I guess. From this he transitions to the ankle again and after about 30 seconds and two ropes Brock taps but there’s no one to tap to. I guess Brock is a drunk man? Vince runs out and chairs Angle to break it up as I’m going into a play by play guy which I don’t like doing.

Vince looking around as if to say I didn’t do anything makes me laugh. To just show how much of a freak he is, Lesnar hits the F5 while standing on one leg. To say that’s insane is the understatement of all time. It looks completely sick too as Angle lands straight on his head. However since this is a major PPV, Angle kicks out. Vince’s shirt looks completely stupid. The F5 is reversed into the ankle lock but Brock gets to three of the bottom ropes (called all four by Cole as he’s just a stupid boy).

However, despite him touching the ropes and even grabbing them, Kurt pulls him back and the referee doesn’t count them I guess. Lesnar taps as Kurt Mir keeps the belt. Post match Vince tries to attack Kurt with a chair and in an odd looking bit Vince misses but falls on his back. Angle slam through the chair looks completely sick.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT match. It was two machines working very hard out there and with the right amount of time they were able to make this something special. Brock would get the title back in a few weeks after an iron man match on Smackdown. This was a very good match all around with Angle having to go to lengths he rarely had to in order to keep the title. Very good match and you should watch it.

We get an ad for Shawn’s first DVD which is also available on VHS. That just sounds odd.

Goldberg is getting ready with IPod headphones in. That makes me chuckle.

I think it’s Vince’s birthday if I’m reading the commentator’s hints right.

We see the first diva search winner, Jamie. She never got a contract which is why you’ve never heard of her. She’s cute.

Recap of RVD and Kane. This came about because Kane had to unmask in a very creepy moment and he blamed RVD for it for no apparent reason. Since then he’s just been a violent big red monster. Van Dam tries to fight him off but Kane just keeps destroying him, leading to Van Dam being tortured.

RVD vs. Kane

Just before the match starts, Fink announces that it’s been made no holds barred. At the time Kane was wearing the singlet top with pants and no mask, so he looks like a freaking moron. Anyway, Van Dam comes out and Kane of course kicks his head in for the most part. The opening half is just about all Kane but Van Dam is able to get some random punches and kicks in, but of course since he’s a main event guy, they work better. I’ve always wondered that.

Why do jobber punches mean nothing while a single right hand from say Austin can stop a guy dead in his tracks? Is it the punch that makes a guy great or is it the guy that makes the punch great? We get weapons brought into the equation and now Van Dam at least has a fighting chance. I wouldn’t call this filler, but it’s certainly not a major match, at least not in my eyes, as it’s sandwiched between the two title matches.

It’s odd to think that RVD has been world champion for far longer than Kane was, twenty two times for that matter. Kane comes off the top with the diving clothesline but misses and hits the barrier which is awesome looking.

This is back when Kane was really quite good in the ring still, but for no reason at all they wouldn’t give Kane the belt in 2002 when he was at his hottest since his debut. Van Dam gets in his usual offense but it was fairly obvious that Kane was getting the win here. RVD goes for the Van Terminator but Kane moves. This leads to the tombstone on the stairs to end it.

Rating: C-. You have a former tag team, no rules, and a violent guy. That should be a solid match wouldn’t you think, especially with two of the bigger names around. This just fell flat to me. It’s ok, but it wasn’t something I wanted to really watch. Some people would probably say it was good and I likely wouldn’t argue with them, but I just couldn’t get into it. I think the placing on the card was bad for this.

In the back Eric is getting iced and Terri asks how he’s feeling. He asks if she’s stupid. This came off as really funny to me when it likely wasn’t that great, but I really liked it. Linda comes in and Eric gets all nervous. She slaps him.

HHH is looking at his title belt. I’ve always wondered if it talks back to him. Flair gives him a pep talk.

The Chamber is lowered.

We get a recap of the first chamber match, including HHH’s legit throat injury. The problem is that we’re never told why these 6 are in this match. We instead get a music video set to St. Anger. From the best I can tell, HHH and Shawn have been kind of feuding, Nash and Jericho I know were feuding, Orton is there because he’s in Evolution, and Goldberg is the next big feud for HHH and his current feud. This is all what I remember and infer from the video.

Raw World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Orton vs. Goldberg

In case you don’t know the rules, you start with six guys, four in the individual pods and two in the ring. After a set amount of time, one of the four are released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Orton is out first, so he’ll be in the pod, as will the next three. I’m 21 years old. That’s how old Orton is here. That’s absolutely scary. Nash, out second, got his hair cut by Jericho on Monday, which in reality was for a movie he was in.

Third is HHH, who I would say needs no introduction but he’s getting one anyway. Flair isn’t with him. Correction yes he is, but just very far behind. HHH was coming off a torn groin at the time so he’s rocking some shorts, kind of like Lashley wears but a bit longer. Think of Cena’s but tights. Goldberg is out fourth so Jericho and HBK will be starting. WWE of course had to change his music, which is dumb because his music was awesome.

The chants have already started. Him walking through the pyro was always cool. JR says that describing Goldberg as intense is like describing the universe as fairly large. Listen here fat boy, I use analogies, not you, UNDERSTAND? Goldberg is also wearing the shorts now and he also looks stupid. I guess it was to avoid looking too much like Austin, which makes sense as he was a pure rip off of him already. The fans are WAY into him.

Orton is just a kid here and he looks almost scared to death. Jericho is next, making Shawn last. HBK is the grizzled veteran here who once again is going for one more shot at the title which would be his storyline going into Mania. The Chamber really does look awesome. There’s the bell and we’re finally ready to go. Jericho and Shawn had the classic at WM 19 so this is going to be good. JR says a coin toss determined who starts. How can you have a six way coin toss?

JR says that HBK dominated the late 80s and early 90s. Am I thinking of a different HBK? The fans are chanting Goldberg so I’m not sure what promotion I’m watching. The announcers do a good job of playing up HBK vs. Jericho as JR talks about the history of the world title changing in Arizona. Dude, you’re either preparing WAY too much or you’re the most bored man in the history of the world. Wait, that’s not right anyway.

That was the original world title, not this one. This belt has only been around about a year at this point, so no it hasn’t changed in Arizona. Are you starting to see why I can’t stand JR? This is probably my favorite period in Jericho’s career. It’s a shame he was turned face soon and feuded with that waste of air Christian. Orton is in third so it’s 2-1 in favor of the heels. I wish he did that cross body more. It’s awesome and always has been.

We get the WOO for Jericho’s chops, which is interesting as Flair is at ringside. I wonder if he considers that a compliment. I’d have to think that he would. Ross is really getting annoying with his repetition of things. Ross calls for Orton to break free of HHH and work for himself. Give it about a year or so there Jimmy boy. They finally go outside the ring and hit the cage a bit and the match instantly gets more interesting.

Shawn goes for…something and Jericho catches him with the Walls. It looked bad as more or less Shawn jumped perfectly for the Walls. Nash is in now as they try as hard as they can to make him sound like a credible threat. Well, he’s been in there 15 seconds and he’s not hurt yet so he can consider tonight a victory of sorts I guess. He has short blond hair here, so he looks completely stupid.

He’s the jobber here as no one, and I mean no one thought he was a legit challenger, despite being the only guy here to actually have beaten Goldberg. Jericho is busted. Nash and HHH had easily the worst Cell match ever earlier this year, ending any credibility that he had left. Apparently Shawn is really close to a lot of people. It’s a shame none of them are named Becca.

Shawn super kicks Nash leading to a Jericho rollup to get rid of him, just furthering the theory that he’s a jobber. HHH is next and in a cool spot he steps through the door and HBK kicks him in the face. HHH falls back into the pod, out cold. Nash, desperate to get injured so he gets more time off with pay I guess, jackknifes Jericho and Orton before leaving. It’s a shame that he couldn’t stay healthy as he’s certainly a decent worker, especially when he’s talking.

He gets a solid pop when he throws his hand in the air, so if nothing else the people still liked him. HHH looks like he’s taking a nap. Shawn is bleeding now too, so at least we’re getting some solid violence in this one. This match isn’t very good. It’s about half the length of the original if even that and it’s just not interesting. All anyone wanted to see was Goldberg and HHH, yet for no good reason, we got this. It’s a novelty and nothing more, and in this case it’s hurting things.

Back in 2002, it was great because it was new and flashy. It’s been a letdown since then and this match is a great example of that. I think a big part of last year being a success also was Shawn’s big moment, which really was cool when you think about it. I’m actually pretty bored right now watching this. I think it’s the lack of drama. Everyone knew that it was coming down to Goldberg and HHH, so why have the other four?

There are a bunch of combinations you could put those guys in, so why have the Chamber other than to bump up buyrates? Goldberg and HHH had the one on one showdown the next month, so it’s not like it was never going to happen. It makes little sense to me and it’s really hurting things because we have to wait 20 minutes before Goldberg is there and another 10 before he and HHH get into it.

What’s the point? Most of the rant is over but I reserve the right to come back to it later on which I likely am going to do. Yeah this is another reason it sucks. Right now and for the last 45 seconds or so, EVERYONE IS DOWN. Literally, we’re watching them lay there and try to get up. Dude I can go to my aunt’s house and watch people lay around and do nothing if that’s what I’m looking for. Why would you have a match based on a lot of action and then do nothing with it?

Who do you think you are, TNA? Of course since we get a fistfight, JR says it’s like Saturday night in some obscure Oklahoma town. Is there really nothing better to do in Oklahoma than get in bar fights and choke in big football games? Oh yeah apparently you can overeat and become the world’s most annoying announcer who does nothing but shout and be a big country boy.

I get that JR is a great announcer and he’s had some masterful moments, but DANG he’s just annoying most of the time. Some of the stuff that he says blows my mind with how annoying it is.

Man I want to just sit here and rant about him for the next few minutes but I guess that would be fairly boring, so instead I’ll continue rambling like this. Oh Goldberg is in and the fans have a pulse again. Good for them. JR says he’s hitting everything with a heartbeat. If that’s so, why isn’t he hitting the camera guys or himself?

Jericho and Shawn commit an ultimate sin and cause a sign of the apocalypse by teaming up to fight Goldberg. Orton gets the heck speared out of him to eliminate him and HHH has been down a LONG time now. Oh he’s up. I guess that’s this being a cowardly heel thing I’ve heard about so many times. I know it’s hard to believe but yes, the WWE does make their heels cowardly from time to time.

In the first really good spot of the match, Goldberg spears Jericho through the Plexiglas. That just looked and sounded awesome. Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Shawn gets speared. I don’t have a Becca joke here. Jackhammer ends him. Just before that he points at HHH and JR says it’s as if he’s saying you’re next to HHH. My oh my what a great phrase JR has coined. How does he EVER come up with these things?

Jericho gets the same combo platter so it’s now one on one but HHH is still in his pod. There’s no way to get him out, so Goldberg kicks and punches the door in. That’s actually really stupid but it was all he could do. Anyway, HHH gets completely destroyed as you would expect. HHH starts coming back so at least this isn’t a squash. The showdown lasts all of 3 minutes though as they go into the ring and Flair slips the hammer to HHH.

Goldberg goes for the spear but he gets a hammer into the head. After the match we get the Evolution beat down. JR says that it’s felonious assault. You know what, that’s so stupid I’m not even going to make fun of it. You Jim Ross, are annoying, plain and simple.

They handcuff him to the cage as JR is saying that they think Evolution doesn’t want to see Goldberg around here anymore. Really JR? Did you figure that all by yourself? Did you manage to tie your own shoes together too? I guess Vince and Linda must like each other since they have kids. HHH poses with the belt as we go off the air.

Rating: D, For reasons already given, this match just sucks and it sucks badly. Actually that makes no sense because it means it’s bad at being bad, making it good. Oh dang it I’m turning into JR. Where’s my Texas shirt when I need it? Anyway, this match was horrible.

It was about two guys and they were together for all of 4 minutes out of 18 the match went for. Last year it was anyone’s to win, even guys like Booker or RVD. This year, we knew it would be one of the two, so why should we care? Add onto that the dead time and Nash and this was just really bad.

Overall Rating: D+. This was really quite bad. There’s one very good match here with Brock and Kurt, but other than that everything is either bad or average at best. I liked the US Title match but for the way it was booked more than the match itself. This show is pretty bad, as was most of the WWE around this time.

Nothing of interest was going on and it wouldn’t until the young blood stepped up and took over next year with Benoit’s title reign and Edge coming back from his injury to fight Evolution. Batista would be back in about a month or so to complete the team, which was both good and bad but that’s a rant for a later time. I wouldn’t watch this again, but Brock and Kurt is definitely worth checking out. Other than that, stay away.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 21, 2005
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re FINALLY off to the next big step as Batista decides if he’s going to face JBL or HHH at Wrestlemania. This has been a story where you know exactly what is going to happen but Batista has been built up so well that it has been a blast watching him. He’s grown a lot in the whole thing and now it’s time for the first part of the payoff. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Batista winning the Royal Rumble and having to make a decision.

Opening sequence.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Trish, with a black eye, is defending. Victoria wastes no time in taking Molly down for the dancing moonsault with Trish breaking up the count. That earns Trish her own dancing moonsault but since it takes too long, Trish hits Victoria from behind instead. Trish chokes Victoria in the corner but stops to take a bow (these delays are really bad ideas), allowing Victoria to hit the swinging side slam.

Molly is back in to rip at Victoria’s face but has to block the Stratusfaction. A double suplex puts Victoria down but, of course, it’s time for Molly and Trish to argue over who gets to get the pin. Victoria punches both of them and headbutts Trish in something you don’t see too often. The Molly Go Round is avoided and it’s a Widow’s Peak to Molly, only to have Trish steal the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have much time and mainly served to show how weak the women’s division is. With Lita gone, it’s really these three plus anyone else they can rotate in for a fourth. Christy may be the long term goal, but it’s a very long term and that’s not going to work for what will probably take years to get her ready.

HHH and Ric Flair recap the Batista story (it’s like we have a theme) and HHH wants to talk to him. Batista isn’t actually here yet and HHH isn’t happy with Flair’s travel issues excuse.

Pulp Fiction Wrestlemania trailer.

Trish comes up to Candice Michelle and Christy Hemme in the back to make fun of them for various activities. They’re back here doing nothing while Trish was out there taking down two contenders at once. Candice says Trish is the only one who goes down so Trish slaps her in the face. As Candice acts like she’s been shot and stabbed at the same time, Christy tackles Trish against a wall as security appears at a very appropriate time.

Shawn Michaels comes up to Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler in the back. Amazingly enough he isn’t interested in talking to Stacy so she leaves. Shawn talks about how important of a time this is and how ten years ago, he changed the industry with the help of a ladder. That’s what Wrestlemania can do for you and now it’s Orton’s chance to do it. Orton seems to take this to heart as Shawn goes to take care of something. Note: as they stood there, a ladder could be seen between the two of them. Probably a coincidence, but it’s a nice touch.

Simon Dean is in the ring to tell the crowd how fat they are. Oh and Penn State coach Joe Paterno is old.

Chris Jericho vs. Simon Dean

Jericho starts fast and sends him to the apron for a springboard dropkick. Back in and Dean scores with a clothesline but gets dropkicked out of the air for his efforts. The swinging sleeper drop sets up the enziguri but the Lionsault hits knees. Dean gets two off an STO, only to get pulled into the Walls for the tap without much effort.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Dean is already just a jobber to the stars and this was pretty much a squash. There’s nothing wrong with being at that level though hearing those same promos before he loses every week isn’t quite working. The character has already outlived its usefulness so just let him lose in peace.

Theodore Long is in Eric Bischoff’s office and recaps the end of last night’s show before hyping up tonight’s signing. Shawn comes in and tells Long that he’s challenging Kurt Angle for Wrestlemania. Well if you insist.

Wrestlemania Recall: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

Kane vs. Tyson Tomko

Tomko actually gets promo time, saying he’s tired of hearing about Batista. He’s a problem solver and Kane is his new problem. Tomko slugs away to start and gets kicked in the face. The big boot is returned in a hurry and Tomko hammers away again. We hit the neck crank for a few moments before Kane hits another big boot. The top rope clothesline connects and Kane hits a gutbuster of all things. The chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse with Tomko being an intimidating looking monster, though having him lose so quickly didn’t do much good. I’m not sure what the point is in having a bodyguard lose a match to another monster in about four minutes but it’s not like Tomko needs to do much more than look intimidating.

Flair goes up to Batista’s limo but finds the debuting Chris Masters instead. The empty backseat might have been more valuable.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for a chat. Hassan says the exact same thing that he does every week, though he does say that only he is discriminated against on the show, because Daivari is just fine you see. Anyway, he’s undefeated and no one can beat him so he should be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Chris Benoit to challenge Hassan so he can shut up. Hassan takes a pass so Benoit beats him up until Daivari gets in a cheap shot. The double beatdown is on.

Edge/Christian vs. Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels

No Tomko with Christian here. Christian and Orton start things off with an early takedown allowing Orton to pose. A headlock takeover lets them go to the mat for a bit before Edge comes in. That means a rollup out of the corner from Orton and a tag off to Shawn for a chop. Christian gets rammed into the buckle over and over until another headlock takeover has Christian down again.

Edge finally helps his brother/friend out with a low bridge to send Shawn outside, followed by a clothesline off the apron. Back from a break with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but getting dropped on the back of his head again. Christian’s elbow to the face lets him go up top but Shawn nails a punch to the ribs on the way down. The swinging neckbreaker allows a hot tag to Orton and it’s a powerslam to Edge. The high crossbody gets two on Edge but Christian gets in a cheap shot from behind.

A side slam/reverse DDT combination gets two on Orton and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double flapjack is countered into a double DDT and Shawn comes back in to clean house. Something pretty close to an Angle Slam gets two on Christian and Orton adds a very high dropkick. The ref gets bumped and Edge hits the spear for no count. Shawn drops the elbow on Christian, only to have Edge crotch him against the post. The Conchairto misses though and Sweet Chin Music finishes Christian.

Rating: B. Yep that worked. They went with the formula here and when you have two stars like Shawn and Orton against a great team, it’s all but destined to work. Only Shawn has a story going at the moment but there is a lot of time before Wrestlemania to set something up for everyone else. Rather strong match, and thankfully Orton’s concussions are gone.

Bischoff and Long are still waiting on Batista to arrive.

Edge jumps Shawn in the back to vent some more frustration. Edge: “AM I BREAKING YOUR HEART???” A spear sends Shawn through a bunch of stuff.

Chris Masters vs. Steven Richards

Masters gets the big, slow entrance to show off his physique. Richards gets powered around to start and we hit the early posing. A shoulder in the corner and an ax handle to the chest drop Richards again and the full nelson finishes in a hurry. I found Masters uninteresting back in the day and that’s the case here. He’s a physique and nothing more, which isn’t enough to cut it beyond 1986 or so.

Video on Batista’s rise to the top and need to make a decision for Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Gene Snitsky vs. Shelton Benjamin

Snitsky is challenging of course in a rematch from last week with Snitsky hitting him with a chair. Shelton starts fast and kicks at the legs to take Snitsky down. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor but Snitsky grabs a DDT back inside. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Shelton comes back with forearms to the face. The exploder is broken up so Snitsky grabs the chair again. Shelton baseball slides it into his face and uses it himself for the DQ to even the score.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go very far but what were you expecting from a Snitsky match? Shelton getting aggressive is an interesting way to go though I’m not sure how long it’s going to last. He needs a challenger and Snitsky isn’t going to work for more than maybe one more match.

Basic Instinct Wrestlemania trailer.

Flair still can’t get hold of Batista and HHH isn’t happy. He rants about the whole thing and admits that the whole surprise footage from Smackdown was his idea, along with trying to run Batista over with the limo. Flair is stunned but HHH says he was just trying to make Batista make the right decision because he’s not that bright.

That’s enough to convince Flair that HHH is a genius all over again because Flair is kind of a pushover. HHH wants the Big Idiot to get here and yeah of course Batista is listening at the door. Heaven forbid they let us have a moment at the end of the show without making sure we know what’s going on in advance.

Next week: Benoit vs. Hassan and Edge vs. Shawn in a street fight.

It’s time for the contract signing so here are Bischoff and Long for the big moment. The big moment that was spoiled in the previous segment that is. Bischoff recaps things again and here’s Evolution for the decision, with JR not being sure what’s going to happen. So did they not see the HHH/Flair segment?

Bischoff gives Batista a sales pitch and says that unlike Long, his job isn’t in jeopardy. If Batista signs the contract, he gets to reach his dreams. Long says there is a choice because Batista felt the electricity at No Way Out last night. Batista can be on the same stage as John Cena and start their own rivalry. Long lists off some of the other big names over on Smackdown, including a chance to go one on one with the Undertaker.

Batista looks at both contracts and HHH says there is one decision to make here. It’s not about what is best for Raw or Smackdown, but what is best for Batista. Wrestlemania can end with the two of them holding the titles just like the Four Horsemen. HHH: “What if Arn Anderson was the WWE Champion?” This shouldn’t be a hard decision and HHH knows he’s going to make the right one.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a two part show with the big moment at the ending being the only thing that mattered, though the tag match in the middle helped give it a boost. Tonight was all about setting up the World Title match and Batista’s face turn, so next week can be the star of some other stuff. The rest of the show was the usual bad stuff, but the stuff that mattered worked well and that’s all this show needed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 23, 2019
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga

Depending on what you thought of last night’s Raw Reunion, this show either has a lot to live up to or a very easy path to being the best show of the week. We’re less than three weeks away from Summerslam and that means we could be in for an eventful night as the card gets filled in. If nothing else, we should be hearing about Kofi Kingston’s opponent, which shouldn’t be hard to figure out. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens over the last few weeks.

New Day is on commentary instead of the advertised Shawn Michaels, who will be on MizTV instead.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He talks about getting to see some old friends last night but he was glad to not see Kevin Owens. Speaking of Owens, he has challenged Shane to a match at Summerslam. Shane accepts, and shows us a clip of Owens quitting on Raw last year in a story that went nowhere. That’s what Shane wants: if Owens loses at Summerslam, he’s gone from WWE.

Cue Owens (Xavier Woods: “I don’t like him but I want to see him beat Shane up!”), to say Shane was smart to find that footage. That was the low point of Owens’ career and he’s a different man today. Owens knew Shane would accept because Shane loves the spotlight. The match is on but Owens isn’t quitting because he’ll beat Shane for good. Owens wants to fight right now but Shane cuts him off and says not until Summerslam. Tonight, Owens can fight Roman Reigns instead.

Post break, Elias and Drew McIntyre are very happy with Shane’s decision but Shane thinks it needs to be more special. That’s why Drew will be the guest referee and Elias will be guest timekeeper. Elias: “I always wear my watch. I got this.” Shane can be guest ring announcer too.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title. Crews shoulders him down to start as New Day interrogates Tom about whether or not Crews will get a title shot for winning here. We get a crazy long delayed vertical suplex, with Crews walking around for a bit before finally dropping Nakamura after thirty seconds. Nakamura gets set outside and taken down by a big flip dive as we take a break.

Back with Crews getting kicked in the head and taking the sliding German suplex. Kinshasa is blocked with a kick to the head and an Olympic Slam gives Crews two (I bought that because that’s what would happen to the new champ). Crews gets caught on top though and it’s the running knee to the ribs. Kinshasa is blocked with a pop up face plant but the standing shooting star misses. Now Kinshasa can connect for the pin at 8:13.

Rating: C. This seems to be Crews’ sweet spot: the athletic performances where he impresses but never wins the big one. That’s not a terrible place to be as Crews can do a lot of very impressive things in the ring. At the same time though, what does it say that Nakamura surviving against a jobber to the stars nine days after he wins the Intercontinental Title is a relief?

Post match Nakamura hits another Kinshasa to leave Crews laying as New Day wants someone to come help him.

Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville get a match against the IIconics next week and if they win they might get a title shot.

Ali talks about how he has to change the story around here. He was on track to being a star but then he got injured. Now he needs to restart his story and become WWE Champion. No one is writing his story and it ends with him achieving his goals.

It’s time for MizTV. After a quick plug for Miz and Mrs., here’s a package on Raw Reunion. Back in the arena, Miz introduces his guest tonight: Shawn Michaels. New Day nearly has a fit singing Shawn’s music, with Big E. playing the belt like a guitar. Miz talks about Shawn being on Raw Reunion last night, with Shawn saying he’s been on both sides. He understands what it’s like to be a young guy who wants those ol…..legends to get out but like Steve Austin said, they’re all family.

Shawn talks about inducting Seth Rollins into DX/the Kliq (Miz: “Thanks for the invite.”) and moves on to the Summerslam match with Brock Lesnar, only to have Dolph Ziggler interrupt. Miz wants to punch him in the face again but Ziggler has something to get off his chest. A lot of people used to idolize Shawn but he keeps coming back time after time to wave to the crowd. Ziggler: “It was as embarrassing as Goldberg in a wrestling ring.”

Last November, Shawn broke Ziggler’s heart when he came back to wrestle last November because he embarrassed himself. Shawn won’t disagree with him but what’s more embarrassing is working your whole career but being known as a second rate Shawn Michaels wannabe. Ziggler calls Shawn a Shawn wannabe so Miz tells Ziggler to do something about it. Ziggler goes to leave but Shawn grabs his arm and has to duck a punch. It hits Miz by mistake and since this is an angle, Miz goes down from one right hand. Ziggler superkicks Shawn and leaves.

You really could feel the energy go away when Ziggler’s music hit. Shawn is absolutely right about Ziggler doing the same stuff for years and just being known as a Shawn wannabe, but Shawn was famous for one show stealing performance after another. Ziggler is known as being the guy who just stays around and sucks the life out of any angle he’s in. Feel free to leave anytime.

Charlotte vs. Ember Moon

Charlotte knocks her down but here’s Bayley for the distraction into the rollup to give Moon the pin at 47 seconds.

Post match Moon throws Bayley in to Charlotte, who kicks her in the back of the head. Moon Eclipses both of them. Please, not a triple threat.

Michael Cole replaces New Day on commentary.

Here’s Kofi Kingston to announce his Summerslam opponent. Before he gets jumped from behind though, he wants Randy Orton out here right now. Orton comes out and Kofi talks about their history from 2009. That would have been in Madison Square Garden when they were in the ring together and the fans were chanting Kofi’s name.

We see a clip of the huge Boom Drop through the production area which should have made Kingston the next big star. That’s not what happened though and Kofi accuses Orton of holding him back. It didn’t work though and now Kofi is WWE Champion. Orton admits that he help Kofi back because he wasn’t ready then. He’s still not ready now though and that title is a fluke.

Orton has been on top for eighteen years and he never had to work hard a single day. He’s gotten where he is by being Randy Orton and hasn’t had to throw pancakes or fake a Jamaican accent. Orton takes credit for Kofi getting a title shot at Wrestlemania because he injured Ali before the Elimination Chamber so Kofi could take his place. Kofi wants to prove himself at Summerslam and Orton agrees to the title match at Summerslam. The RKO will be waiting for Kofi. This was a heck of a segment and them bringing up the history was a very nice surprise.

Samoa Joe vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title and Orton is at ringside. They fight over arm control to start with Joe grabbing the ropes to give us a standoff. Kofi goes right back to the arm and has to fight out of the corner with some chops. A dropkick puts Joe on the floor and that means the big dive over the top. Back in and Joe hits a hot shot, followed by the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. We take a break and come back with Kofi fighting out of a neck crank and hitting the Boom Drop. Trouble in Paradise is loaded up but Orton comes in for the DQ at 7:37.

Rating: C. This was more of a storyline segment than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that (and Joe actually didn’t get pinned). Kofi vs. Orton is suddenly a lot better than it was looking and Kofi hanging with Joe and not beating him is a good way to help set things up. Kingston is looking a lot stronger these days and the match with Orton could look be quite a good one.

Post match Orton can’t hit the RKO on Kingston so he hits it on Joe instead, leaving Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise on Orton.

Here’s Finn Balor for a chat. We look at Bray Wyatt returning to attack him last week on Raw with Balor saying that he can’t explain the Fiend. He isn’t scared of Wyatt though….and it’s the return of the Firefly Fun House. Wyatt says he and his friends are fans of Finn but the Fiend doesn’t like him, no matter how many times they tell him how super duper he is. The Fiend has accepted Balor’s challenge for Summerslam. Things get more serious though with Bray saying the Fiend isn’t so nice because the Fiend is power. Let him in. The Fiend appears on the screen and growls the same thing.

We recap last night’s wild ride of 24/7 Title changes.

Charlotte wants to know why she was left out of the title match or off of Summerslam in general. She’s going to wrestle at Summerslam and she’ll have a better opponent than Ember Moon.

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Shane is guest ring announcer, Elias is guest timekeeper and Drew McIntyre is guest referee. Shane does his own rather insulting versions of Big Match Intros but Owens grabs the mic to say he’ll drop Shane tonight no matter what. Reigns takes it away and says he’ll take care of Owens tonight. McIntyre breaks up some early lockups in the corner so Reigns punches him in the face and sends him to the floor. The match is thrown out at we’ll say 1:00.

Post match the fight is on with Shane and company getting the better of things. Owens breaks up a spear from Shane though and it’s superkicks a go go. A spear drops McIntyre and a Stunner drops Elias. Shane tries to escape but gets caught with a Superman Punch and a Stunner. Another Stunner drops Shane again and Owens promises to hurt him even worse at Summerslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Fans who didn’t like last night’s show probably enjoyed this one a lot more. They announced three matches for Summerslam as the rapid fire build continues. What matters here is they started getting the card ready after last night’s big detour. Summerslam is looking good, though they have a lot more buildup to take care of first. This felt a little more serious than previous weeks, though it certainly didn’t feel like an all new show or really anything close to one. It was good though and these shows are blowing away anything that WWE was doing in the last few months.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews – Kinshasa

Ember Moon b. Charlotte – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when Elias and Shane McMahon interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: July 18, 2019
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Sam Roberts

It’s another week where things should be getting more interesting but since Eric Bischoff hasn’t taken over Smackdown and Paul Heyman has less than four weeks to set up Summerslam, there isn’t much time to set up anything all that interesting. In other worlds, expect more of the normal Main Event stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Dana Brooke vs. Sarah Logan

Yes again, because it’s Main Event. They lock up against the ropes to start with neither being able to get anywhere. Logan misses a forearm and gets knocked into the corner, setting up a bulldog from Brooke. The running backflip splash gives Brooke two and it’s time for a slugout. Logan’s pop up headbutt puts Brooke down and we hit the howling. The chinlock goes on, followed by a running knee to Brooke’s ribs for two. That means the standing Texas Cloverleaf but Brooke is in the rope in a hurry. Logan misses some running knees in the corner and it’s the Swanton to give Brooke the pin at 5:50.

Rating: D. We’ve seen it, we’ve seen it again, we’ve seen it a third time and this was the four pack. These rematches for matches that aren’t good in the first place are a Main Event staple and a case where you can all but imagine WWE just saying “yeah do whatever we did last week”. It’s not worth getting annoyed over, but with everyone on the roster, you can’t throw someone else out there for a change?

We look at Undertaker/Roman Reigns beating Shane McMahon/Drew McIntyre at Extreme Rules.

We look at Kevin Owens coming after Shane McMahon.

From Smackdown.

It’s already time for the town hall with the roster on the stage. Shane says anyone can say anything they want as long as they’re respectful. Roman Reigns goes first and says that no one respects Shane. That doesn’t work for Shane, so Reigns is going to be fined and dealt with later. Charlotte goes next and thanks Shane for treating her and her family so great. Liv Morgan, who Owens mentioned last week, calls her out for having everything handed to her. Charlotte: “Do you work here?”

They argue for a bit until Shane calls them off and Buddy Murphy goes next. Murphy says he doesn’t like Owens being rude to Shane and wants to slap the taste out of Owens’ mouth. Shane approves of this and declares Murphy no longer the best kept secret in Smackdown history.

Apollo Crews says no one likes Shane and gets called out by Zelina Vega, likely setting up a match with Andrade. Elias says that he is not Kevin Owens but New Day cuts him off. Kofi Kingston rants about how no one gets an opportunity under Shane. That’s enough for Shane, who says the town hall is over. Everyone leaves but Cesaro wants Aleister Black to pick a fight with him tonight. Shane makes the match in a hurry and Cesaro leaves. Cue Owens behind him and there’s the Stunner, after Owens misses Shane’s head on the first attempt. Owens runs off into the crowd to a rather positive reaction.

From later in the night.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

The threat of a Stunner sends Ziggler outside for a flip dive but the Swanton hits raised knees back inside. Ziggler gets two off a Fameasser and the chinlock goes on. Owens fights up and hits a superkick, setting up the Swanton for a rather close two. Cue Shane with a small army behind him to surround the ring. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag off the distraction for two (I bought that as the finish) and Owens slaps him in the face.

Ziggler pounds away in the corner and sends Owens hard into the post (Shane: “That looks like that hurt.”). A superkick misses and Owens hits the Stunner, only to have Shane pull him out of the ring. Owens hits another Stunner on Shane on the floor before running away in a smart move at around 6:15.

Rating: D+. This was almost all storyline advancement but they had me on the Zig Zag. Thank goodness they didn’t go that way as it would have been the dumbest thing they could have done. Owens looked great coming out of last week and Extreme Rules, so thankfully they didn’t go in the wrong direction by having him get pinned here.

Shane promises to make Owens pay to end the show.

From Raw.

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

Note that the recap and Reigns interview took place after Joe’s entrance. Do they really need to get the crowd ready for a match like that and then have them sit there? Joe takes him down by the wrist to start but Balor is back with a headlock takeover out of the corner. That’s reversed into a crucifix though and Balor is pinned at 1:24.

Post match Joe tries to choke Balor out but gets stomped in the chest. The Sling Blade sets up the Coup de Grace to get Balor’s heat back. The match was so short he probably didn’t even take his coat and shoes off. Balor poses but his music stops and the lights go off. We hear a beatdown taking place in the ring and the lights come back on to reveal….Bray Wyatt, in the Fiend mask, with Sister Abigail to Balor. Fans: “HOLY S***!”

Titus O’Neil/No Way Jose vs. Eric Young/EC3

Here’s your random tag match of the week, though to be fair that’s kind of what I was asking for in the previous match. EC3 sends Jose into the corner so it can be off to Young in a hurry. That’s fine with Jose, who brings Titus in to take over on Young in a hurry. Titus slams Jose onto Young and we take an early break.

Back with Jose hitting an airplane spin for two on Young but an EC3 distraction lets Young knock Jose off the top. EC3’s running neckbreaker and Young comes back in for the stomping. A suplex gets Jose out of trouble and it’s back to Titus for the house cleaning. Jose comes back in as everything breaks down, with EC3 grabbing a rollup for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: D+. Yeah this happened. It was four people being brought in for a random tag match and that’s perfectly fine, though it’s not like any of it mattered in the first or last place. I do like the idea of having random teams like this as it’s certainly better than having the same matches over and over, which can get a lot less interesting than something like this. Still means nothing, but it’s better than the usual.

We recap Brock Lesnar cashing in Money in the Bank to win the Universal Title at Extreme Rules.

From Raw.

Battle Royal

Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Big E., Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Bobby Lashley, Randy Orton

The winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam, Lashley has taped ribs and Lesnar and Heyman are watching from the stage. It’s a brawl to start with Corbin going after Rollins and Strowman punching Lashley in the bad ribs. Cesaro starts running at everyone in the corner to take over, including the Swing to Rey. Another one to Big E. is broken up and Lashley dumps Cesaro for the first elimination. Strowman does the same to Lashley and it’s time for a Strowman vs. Big E. showdown.

Big E.’s running splash staggers Strowman and Big E. manages the Big Ending but walks into the RKO. Sami gets rid of Big E. but walks into the RKO. The 619 connects and Orton gets rid of Zayn. There’s an RKO to Reigns followed by another 619 but Reigns shrugs off both finishers and Superman Punches Orton through the ropes. Rey hits a springboard seated senton on Roman but gets tossed by Orton. We’re down to Corbin, Rollins, Reigns, Strowman and Orton with the latter on the floor.

Strowman puts Corbin in the ropes so Reigns can hit the apron dropkick. A superkick from Rollins is enough to get rid of Corbin and get us down to four. Reigns spears Rollins by mistake and Strowman puts Roman on the apron. It’s the Chris Benoit/Big Show elimination but Rollins knocks Reigns out as well. Rollins thinks he’s won and has to hang on when Orton comes back in to throw him to the apron as well. The hanging DDT brings Rollins back in and Orton stops to stare at Lesnar. The RKO is broken up with a superkick to the ribs and the Stomp is enough for Rollins to get the title shot at 7:47.

Rating: C-. Well that was fast (the women’s match probably took up too much time). This was going to be Rollins or Reigns winning and Seth is a much better pick than Roman in storyline terms. I don’t need to see him fight Lesnar again, but that is the kind of thing you have to expect here. I’d rather they go with this than rush what could be a big story in four weeks so at least it makes sense.

Post match, Heyman promises that Rollins is going to be conquered. Rollins tells Heyman to shut up and promises a repeat of Wrestlemania. Lesnar teases coming down for a fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. For once, this wasn’t all that bad as they got in and out with a nice collection of moments from a not terrible week. What mattered here was having a balance between Raw and Smackdown which you don’t get all that often. It’s still not good, but I do like that random tag match for the sake of mixing something up for a change. Not an awful show, but Raw and Smackdown are still a lot to take most weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back in America but the show is in a bit of a weird place at the moment. It’s the last show before No Way Out, meaning the last show before we can officially begin the Road to Wrestlemania. The fans are chomping at the bit to see Batista finally snap and turn on HHH but we need to go through the motions of acting like Batista might go after JBL instead. The inching forward continues tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Chris Jericho in a mock New York Rangers jersey to open things up with the Highlight Reel. The guest this week is Candice Michelle, who is very popular at the moment due to her Go Daddy commercial from the Super Bowl. Jericho talks about all the attention she has been getting since the commercial but Candice doesn’t know what the big deal is about. She teases dancing a bit here and suggests a wardrobe malfunction might happen.

Jericho freaks out over the idea of a bare shoulders. Candice takes her shoulder straps down, giving us a GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST from Jericho. Cue Muhammad Hassan though and Jericho doesn’t seem pleased. The fans give him a USA chant and Hassan calls it hypocrisy. Not the fans chanting USA to an Arab American and proving his point, but Candice being cheered while he received no accolades for beating Sgt. Slaughter. This is part of the dumbing down of America and Jericho is the poster child of stupidity (I’m having Dean Douglas flashbacks).

Jericho thinks they have a lot in common. See, Hassan and Daivari are Arab Americans and he is the Ayatollah of rock and rollah. Daivari rants and points but Jericho doesn’t play on that side of the fence. Jericho has seen the way they look at each other and gets the idea: Daivari is Hassan’s special Valentine! The match is on after the break.

Chris Jericho vs. Muhammad Hassan

Joined in progress with Hassan getting dropped with a belly to back suplex followed by a regular one for the arrogant two. The Walls attempt doesn’t work so Jericho hits a springboard shoulder to knock him off the apron. A Daivari distraction lets Hassan get in a backbreaker though and it’s time to start in on the ribs. It’s kind of amazing how much easier Hassan is to watch when he’s in a match that might mean something.

The shots to the back are cut off with a spinwheel kick and Jericho hits the running crotch attack to the back. The Flashback looks to finish Hassan but Daivari has the referee. That earns him a springboard dropkick, but the distraction lets Hassan hit the Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: D+. I said it was easier to watch but that doesn’t make it good. Hassan’s matches just don’t have many good qualities to them and when the promos are the exact same thing every week, he’s just not going to get very far. I know WWE thinks this is the best idea they’ve had in a good while because it ties into the real world news of the moment, but it’s really not working because they’re not letting it go beyond the stereotypical characteristics.

HHH is ready for a fight because JBL is on his way here to confront Batista. Ric Flair goes to tell Batista and HHH is upset because this is an insult to Evolution.

Announced for the Hall of Fame: Roddy Piper. He has to be there.

Randy Orton talks to Stacy Keibler and she calls him trouble. Stacy asks him if he’d like to do something after the show and Orton is down. These two have less chemistry than an English class.

Flair interrupts Batista flirting with Maria and doesn’t care about JBL showing up. That’s cool with Flair, who says if JBL becomes too big of a problem, Batista can just beat him at Wrestlemania. Batista hasn’t made his mind up yet but he will next week. As for tonight though, Batista wants HHH to stay out of it with JBL. He’s smart, looking intimidating and has a backbone. More reasons why he got over as much as he did.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Gene Snitsky

Benjamin is defending and kicks away to start, setting up the Stinger Splash in the corner. Snitsky kicks him down though and we hit the chinlock, which doesn’t last very long. A middle rope elbow misses Shelton and JR goes into a rant about Piper having the character to go into the Hall of Fame.

Shelton hits a great looking top rope clothesline for two as a fan holds up a Jay Mariotti Fears Woody Paige sign (ESPN fans might get that one). Snitsky’s pumphandle powerslam is broken up so he kicks Shelton in the face for two instead. That means some yelling at the referee, followed by a nasty chair shot to the head for the DQ.

Rating: D. Well it’s better than watching Shelton vs. Maven all over again. Benjamin is still one of the smoothest performers in wrestling and someone who can make anything he does look great. Snitsky is fine as a monster and just getting him away from Kane is a huge improvement. The rematch won’t be great but at least there’s a story to get us there.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are defending after having won the titles last week. Conway punches Regal to start and it’s quickly off to Grenier for a headlock. Since it’s just a headlock, Tajiri comes in for some kicks (which look good as always) to take over. Conway tries to come back in to draw Regal in as well, allowing a neckbreaker from behind to take Tajiri down. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Tajiri fights up and hits the handspring elbow. Regal comes back in and it’s forearms a go-go, plus the knee trembler to finish Conway and retain the titles in a hurry.

Rating: D+. They really need to get away from La Resistance now as they’ve been beaten so many times that the value is gone. I know that means they need to build up some new challengers and that isn’t their strong suit, but they need to do something fresh. Regal and Tajiri don’t feel like long term champions and Tajiri is just Eugene’s replacement, but there is no one who is taking the titles at the moment.

Randy Orton vs. Christian

They’re not wasting as much time with backstage stuff this week. Tyson Tomko is out with Christian, who shoves Orton to start and gets punched in the face. That means more right hands on the mat as Orton is keeping it simple here. A headlock keeps Christian in place and Orton does it again as they seem to have some time for this one. Christian gets back up and chokes in the corner but takes too much time slapping his chest, allowing Orton to punch some more.

Tomko’s distraction doesn’t work as Christian charges into another right hand but Christian finally gets a backdrop to the floor. That lets Tomko make up for his general ineptness with a whip into the steps as we take a break. Back with Tomko having been ejected and Christian (sporting a big welt on the side of his head) grabbing a chinlock. A dropkick and neckbreaker get two each and it’s the chinlock sequel. The reverse DDT gets two more so Christian steps on his head in frustration.

You don’t do that to someone so Orton whips him chest first into the buckle and they’re both down. Orton’s comeback is on with a dropkick and backdrop, plus a long series of forearms to the chest. The great looking high crossbody gets two but Christian dodges a charge to send him into the post. Christian goes for the buckle so here’s Tomko for a big boot to give him two. Orton’s backbreaker sets up a failed RKO attempt, so Orton leapfrogs over him and hits the RKO for the pin.

Rating: B. These two have always worked well together and Christian is getting something out of these matches. It’s the kind of push where he might not be winning but he’s establishing that he can hang with top stars. That and the still funny promos are going to make him a bigger star and the push is seemingly waiting in the wings.

Eric Bischoff is on the phone with Theodore Long, who he accuses of sending JBL here. That’s fine with Eric because Batista will deal with JBL just fine. Edge comes in to complain about everyone talking about Batista. Last week, Batista cost him the world Title and tonight Edge is going to beat him again. Then JBL can come in and beat Batista up so Batista will sign to face JBL at Wrestlemania. Bischoff thinks that’s unlikely but lets Edge go on. If Edge wins, he should get the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Bischoff doesn’t say anything, as the logic isn’t strong with this one.

Video on the Japan tour.

Here’s Trish Stratus for a chat. Last week during the Divas fashion show, she realized that the new women are trying to steal her spotlight. It doesn’t matter if you’re Brittney Freaking Spears, no one is doing that to her. Trish wants Christy Hemme out here right now because the Women’s Champion wants to say something. Christy comes out with JR praising her personality. Lawler: “THAT’S WHAT YOU NOTICE ABOUT HER???”

Trish brings up a word that the fans used to chant at her, which starts up all over again because there is strong power of suggestion in wrestling. That word (s***) is Christy’s now because she has agreed to pose in Playboy. Christy is giggling with pride and thinks people will want to see the magazine. That doesn’t make the chant apply to her though. Sleeping with half the locker room like Trish does though. A big slap drops Christy as WWE’s inability to go a few months without a women’s storyline involving sex amazes me.

We look back at the end of last week’s show with Batista costing Edge the World Title match.

Kane vs. Simon Dean

Before the match, Simon nearly cries about how his career is probably about to end. Worry not though, because he will continue to produce the Simon System. If you don’t believe in him, he sentences you to a life of obesity! Kane is tired of listening and starts the stalking so Dean hides behind the referee. A glare at said referee allows Simon to throw powder in Kane’s eyes. Kane doesn’t mind and kicks him in the face as the pain is imminent. The chokeslam is loaded up but Kane stops for some pushups. Now the chokeslam can finish Dean in a hurry.

We look back at the videos from JBL and Big Show, which don’t please Batista.

Earlier today, Coach annoyed Shawn Michaels (who looks weird in a suit) about Kurt Angle bragging over what happened at the Royal Rumble. Shawn suggests Angle focus on his match at No Way Out, even though Shawn has some incredible talent of his own.

HHH asks Batista about JBL. Batista wants to handle it himself but HHH says this is about all of Evolution. Tonight, Batista can worry about Edge and HHH will deal with JBL. Batista leaves and HHH says he has his back.

Chris Masters is coming.

Batista vs. Edge

HHH is at ringside. Edge’s headlock is broken up by Batista just lifting him into the air and it’s time to hammer in the corner. They head outside with Edge grabbing an Edge O Matic on the floor for a rather sick thud. Back in and Edge chokes on the rope, followed by a neckbreaker for two.

We hit the cravate for a bit until Batista powers up with a World’s Strongest Slam. A shoulder looks to set up the spinebuster but Edge reverses into the Edgecution. The spinebuster cuts off the spear and the Batista Bomb connects….as JBL’s limo arrives. HHH comes in and shoves the referee down and that’s a rather abrupt DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was just there to protect both guys. That was about the only option they had other than Edge walking out so I can live with the lame DQ for a change. Batista and JBL isn’t likely to happen but it’s a box they need to check off before we can get to a bigger story.

Post match Flair waves Batista and HHH to the back with HHH saying this is about Evolution. Batista says it’s about him vs. JBL but here’s the limo to try and run Batista over. HHH shoves him out of the way as the limo drives off. Batista is ticked off and promises to go to Smackdown on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The holding pattern continues and there is only so much that Orton vs. Christian could do to save the rest of the show. That being said, this is pretty definitively the last show before we get to the stuff that really matters. Wrestlemania is coming and it’s going to be all about Batista, which is exactly what the fans want. The contract signing next week is going to change everything and it’s time to get things moving. This show wasn’t good, but it’s not like that is going to matter beyond next Monday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 16, 2019
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It looks to be an eventful night this week and believe it or not, a big focus is going to be on Shane McMahon. We’re going to have a town hall meeting where wrestlers and people on the show can air their grievances with Shane, which could go a lot of ways. Other than that, Daniel Bryan is going to make a career changing announcement. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Kevin Owens calling out Shane McMahon for taking over the show.

Earlier today, Owens arrived when Shane met him at the door. Tonight, Owens has the night off because Shane is not having him interrupt the town hall.

We look at Undertaker Tombstoning Shane for the win on Sunday at Extreme Rules.

It’s already time for the town hall with the roster on the stage. Shane says anyone can say anything they want as long as they’re respectful. Roman Reigns goes first and says that no one respects Shane. That doesn’t work for Shane, so Reigns is going to be fined and dealt with later. Charlotte goes next and thanks Shane for treating her and her family so great. Liv Morgan, who Owens mentioned last week, calls her out for having everything handed to her. Charlotte: “Do you work here?”

They argue for a bit until Shane calls them off and Buddy Murphy goes next. Murphy says he doesn’t like Owens being rude to Shane and wants to slap the taste out of Owens’ mouth. Shane approves of this and declares Murphy no longer the best kept secret in Smackdown history.

Apollo Crews says no one likes Shane and gets called out by Zelina Vega, likely setting up a match with Andrade. Elias says that he is not Kevin Owens but New Day cuts him off. Kofi Kingston rants about how no one gets an opportunity under Shane. That’s enough for Shane, who says the town hall is over. Everyone leaves but Cesaro wants Aleister Black to pick a fight with him tonight. Shane makes the match in a hurry and Cesaro leaves. Cue Owens behind him and there’s the Stunner, after Owens misses Shane’s head on the first attempt. Owens runs off into the crowd to a rather positive reaction.

Aleister Black vs. Cesaro

Rematch from Sunday where Black won in a good match. Black flips away from Cesaro to start and has a seat as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding a chinlock but Black fights up and hits the running moonsault for two. Cesaro kicks him in the face for the same and it’s off to a Crossface. That’s broken up and Black hits a knee, followed by Black Mass for the pin at 6:17. Not enough shown to rate but Black kicking another head off is a good thing.

Dolph Ziggler comes up to Shane in the back and says he wants to teach Owens a lesson tonight. That’s a no because Owens is probably long gone. Ziggler can get him back though, and it can be the main event tonight. That’s cool with Shane.

After Extreme Rules, Daniel Bryan ranted about how he failed in his quest to change the planet. If he still wants to do it, he has to go where Bryan has never gone before and he knows what he has to do. Bryan looked a little insane here.

Liv Morgan vs. Charlotte

Charlotte shoves her down to start so Morgan is right back up with a dropkick and a little wave. Liv gets in another knockdown for two but a heck of a powerbomb takes her down. The Figure Eight makes Liv tap at 2:26. Nice job of trying to push someone fresh but this is Charlotte’s world.

Post match Liv grabs a headset and says that Charlotte was right. When she comes back, she’s going to be real.

Ziggler finds Owens’ number.

Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville vs. Ember Moon/???

Moon needs a mystery partner and it’s…..Bayley. Mandy and Sonya jump them to start and Bayley gets choked on the ropes. Bayley fights back in a hurry and hands it off to Moon for the kicks to Mandy’s ribs. The Bayley to Belly sets up the Eclipse to finish Rose at 1:32.

Post match Bayley says she wants to elevate the division against someone she’s never faces before. She offers the Summerslam shot to Moon, who of course accepts.

Shinsuke Nakamura is proud of winning the Intercontinental Title and is free to rain chaos. Ali comes up to congratulate him and looks at the title.

Here’s New Day for a chat. Xavier Woods brags about Kofi retaining the title on Sunday but Kofi talks about the two of them winning the Tag Team Titles for the sixth time. They’re like three African American leprechauns with all the gold (Woods: “THESE ARE WHITE GOLD!”). They know what Daniel Bryan’s announcement and they accept the Tag Team Title rematch for right here and right now.

Cue Bryan and Rowan….but then they turn around and leave without saying anything. Then they come back, still say nothing, and leave again. They come back a third time but this time Bryan drops the mic without saying anything. Now it’s Samoa Joe coming out to say he’s ready for a championship opportunity. The New Day is throwing out title chances so Kofi can do the same right here tonight.

Hang on though as here’s Elias to cut him off. Elias says Joe has already gotten his shot but here’s Randy Orton to interrupt as well. He hasn’t had the title in a long time and will get it back with an RKO. Elias says they can’t all have title matches tonight but we can have a six man tag instead. New Day likes the sound of it, with each one getting in a playa for a bonus. Orton: “Nah. I’m good.” Kofi accuses the Viper of going limp and the match is on.

New Day vs. Elias/Samoa Joe/Randy Orton

Kofi elbows Elias in the face to start but an Orton distraction breaks up a cover attempt. Joe comes in and hammers away at Kofi but the running double stomp gives Kofi two. It’s off to Woods and New Day hits their parade of various jumping shots to Joe for two more. Elias comes back in and gets caught in the spanking abdominal stretch from Big E., followed by the Honor Roll to give Woods two of his own. Orton gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Elias takes over.

Back from a break with Woods fighting out of a chinlock but not being able to make a tag. Elias’ superplex is broken up and Woods hits a missile dropkick, allowing the hot tag to Kofi to clean house on Orton. The RKO attempt is broken up as everything breaks down. Big E. gives Orton the belly to belly and Joe is low bridged to the floor. Woods follows with a big running flip dive but Joe grabs the Clutch. Elias tries the running knee on Big E. and doesn’t come close but Big E. goes down anyway. Back in and Trouble in Paradise hits Elias’ side, leaving Kofi to take the RKO for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C. So we’re going with Orton vs. Kingston at Summerslam? They’re certainly going with the safe paths in the title matches at the pay per view and while that’s not the worst idea in the world, it’s also not the most thrilling one. Hopefully we get something interesting, but you never know how good something like this is going to be.

R-Truth is hiding in some kind of a box when Carmella comes to find him. He’s tired of hiding but she thinks he should hide in plain sight at Comic Con. Truth: “Don’t call me a con. I did my time and paid my debt to society.” Eventually he gets the idea.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. IIconics

The Warriors are challenging and don’t even get an entrance. The IIconics are shown at ringside to start so this match really does mean as little as it seems. Shane chops Royce in the chest to start and Asuka adds a running knee for two. The running hip attack misses though and Kay hits a big boot for two. Asuka is right back with a spinning kick to the head to send her outside and the IIconics take the countout at 1:19.

Post match the Warriors destroy the champs even more.

Apollo Crews vs. Andrade

Crews jumps him before the bell and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Crews says he can go but gets knocked into the corner again. Andrade hits the running knees in the corner but Crews crucifixes him for the pin at :54.

We look back at Bray Wyatt’s return last night on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

The threat of a Stunner sends Ziggler outside for a flip dive but the Swanton hits raised knees back inside. Ziggler gets two off a Fameasser and the chinlock goes on. Owens fights up and hits a superkick, setting up the Swanton for a rather close two. Cue Shane with a small army behind him to surround the ring. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag off the distraction for two (I bought that as the finish) and Owens slaps him in the face.

Ziggler pounds away in the corner and sends Owens hard into the post (Shane: “That looks like that hurt.”). A superkick misses and Owens hits the Stunner, only to have Shane pull him out of the ring. Owens hits another Stunner on Shane on the floor before running away in a smart move at around 6:15.

Rating: D+. This was almost all storyline advancement but they had me on the Zig Zag. Thank goodness they didn’t go that way as it would have been the dumbest thing they could have done. Owens looked great coming out of last week and Extreme Rules, so thankfully they didn’t go in the wrong direction by having him get pinned here.

Shane promises to make Owens pay to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The best thing I can say about this show is that nothing stupid happened. The right people won the matches (save for maybe Apollo) and there are some people they’re clearly interested in pushing. You can see most of the Summerslam card from here and I’d expect Owens vs. Shane in some kind of a loser leaves WWE match to be added soon. They did the right things here and it was certainly an energetic show, albeit nothing that did anything terribly memorable. All in all, not bad and better than Raw.

One very important note: According to Meltzer, Bischoff was NOT involved in this show in any way and was not even in town for it. No word on the reason for the delay, but this was not his debut episode.

Results

Aleister Black b. Cesaro – Black Mass

Charlotte b. Liv Morgan – Figure Eight

Bayley/Ember Moon b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Eclipse to Rose

Randy Orton/Elias/Samoa Joe b. New Day – RKO to Kingston

Kabuki Warriors b. IIconics via countout

Apollo Crews b. Andrade – Crucifix

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Owens ran away

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2019
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves

It’s time for the new era as Paul Heyman is in charge starting with this week and as luck would have it, we’re less than four weeks away from Summerslam. Tonight we’re going to find out who will be challenging Becky Lynch and Brock Lesnar at the pay per view, which should tell you where things are going. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to open things up, with Lesnar holding the title like the boom box (get Stephanie’s completely random video response ready). We look back at Lesnar cashing in last night before Heyman gives us a “we told you so”. On top of that he told us that Seth Rollins wouldn’t be defending the title at Summerslam either. Heyman says he has all the stroke around here right now and for tonight, he has made a battle royal for the #1 contendership. There will be ten cross branded superstars involved, including:

Seth Rollins

Randy Orton

Big E.

Cesaro

Braun Strowman

Rey Mysterio

Baron Corbin

Sami Zayn

Bobby Lashley

Roman Reigns

Heyman laughs at the idea of Rollins strolling into Philadelphia like Becky Lynch’s stud but walking out like a gelding (Heyman: “Google it. I ain’t here to educate you.”). Whoever wins will be destroyed and robbed of his manhood and that’s another spoiler. And just remember: you’re all Brock’s b******.

Ricochet/Usos vs. Robert Roode/Revival

2/3 falls because of course. Ricochet passes Brock and Heyman on the way to the ring and….nothing happens. Jimmy superkicks Dawson to start and Ricochet adds the Recoil (Codebreaker) into a standing shooting star press for the first fall at 25 seconds. Ricochet grabs a headscissors on Roode, followed by a dropkick to bring Jey in. A spinebuster gives Roode two and it’s back to Wilder, who misses an elbow.

Jimmy comes in and things speed way up but Dawson’s flapjack catches him for the pin to tie things up at 3:44. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be the Shatter Machine or if they’re just really pushing a flapjack. Back from a break with Dawson dropping a leg and a double catapult sending Jimmy throat first into the rope for two. A hiptoss cuts off the hot tag attempt so Jimmy enziguris his way to freedom and brings in Ricochet. The Glorious DDT is countered into the Recoil and the 630 finishes Roode at 10:14.

Rating: D. Again, I have so many questions about this whole 2/3 falls thing. Are we supposed to believe that they just laid there during the break? Why is there a break between the second and third fall but not the first and second? How bad do the Usos look if they couldn’t beat Dawson in ten minutes last night but Ricochet can do it in 25 seconds? I’m sure we’ll see more of this later too.

Post match it’s the Club coming out to gloat but Ricochet dives on Styles. The brawl is on with the villains getting the better of things off the numbers game.

Viking Raiders vs. Vinny Gruner/Jackson James

The Raiders promise to rain down carnage like their ancestors. Total dominance ensues with Ivar being driven into James in the corner. He pulls James up at two and it’s the German suplex/springboard clothesline to make it even worse. The Viking Experience is good for the pin at 1:20.

We look at Undertaker pinning Shane McMahon with the Tombstone last night.

Various people are laughing at Drew McIntyre for losing and Drew calls out Cedric Alexander for his joke last week. This might be more interesting if Drew hadn’t kicked his head off and pinned him in about two minutes. Drew promises to dismember and disembowel him. Drew: “I’m only joking buddy. That’s illegal.” He’ll humble him instead. That might be illegal as well if he’s an Iron Sheik fan.

Drew McIntyre vs. Cedric Alexander

Fallout from last week. Cedric tries to speed things up to start and kicks Drew to the floor, only to get suplexed into the corner back inside. Another suplex sets up the suplex throw for two but Drew goes up and gets dropkicked out of the air. Drew has had it with Cedric and pounds him down in the corner, followed by the reverse Alabama slam but Cedric rolls through for the huge upset at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I can go with this but at the same time, Drew takes yet ANOTHER hit because WWE probably has given him the bulletproof label. That’s the worst thing that can happen to him but it seems to be what Drew has at the moment. This probably isn’t over, but at least Cedric got a win in there. I could go for more of Drew getting some big wins though, or at least any big win.

We look back at Shinsuke Nakamura beating Finn Balor for the Intercontinental Title last night.

Balor promises to get back on track by going over Samoa Joe to start.

Joe says try it. I kind of like these quick gorilla position promos.

We look back at Heyman announcing the battle royal.

Roman Reigns says this is his week from the ESPYs to the Hobbes and Shaw premiere to winning last night and now he’s getting the Universal Title shot.

Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe

Note that the recap and Reigns interview took place after Joe’s entrance. Do they really need to get the crowd ready for a match like that and then have them sit there? Joe takes him down by the wrist to start but Balor is back with a headlock takeover out of the corner. That’s reversed into a crucifix though and Balor is pinned at 1:24.

Post match Joe tries to choke Balor out but gets stomped in the chest. The Sling Blade sets up the Coup de Grace to get Balor’s heat back. The match was so short he probably didn’t even take his coat and shoes off. Balor poses but his music stops and the lights go off. We hear a beatdown taking place in the ring and the lights come back on to reveal….Bray Wyatt, in the Fiend mask, with Sister Abigail to Balor. Fans: “HOLY S***!”

That was a heck of a return, though I’m not going to be convinced that WWE is running with it until they actually give him some traction. The mask looked great and having a dual personality could be interesting. With Balor rumored to be taking some time off, having him be the first sacrifice to Wyatt could be great. It’s an awesome start, but Bray doesn’t have the track record to get me to sign off on it yet.

Drake Maverick and his wife check into a hotel (under the name 24/7 Champion) to consummate their marriage. His wife his fine with this and wants the most romantic room and expensive champagne. Maverick pays cash and even tips the desk clerk. The two of them leave and here’s R-Truth to bribe the clerk with a $1 bill. Truth asks if they have a guest under the name of Hornswoggle. Truth: “Lower case H, o-r-n-swoggle.”

The Street Profits watch and mock Maverick for being nervous. They also make their loud picks for the #1 contenders matches, with Dawkins still having a thing for Nikki Cross.

Zack Ryder vs. Mike Kanellis

Hang on as Maria wants to wrestle Zack herself. That’s not happening so Mike does it….and takes the Rough Ryder for the pin at 7 seconds. My goodness the hometown boy won a match.

Maria says that their unborn baby could have had a better chance than a loser like Mike.

The Club vs. Lucha House Party

Gran Metalik starts fast with the reverse Sling Blade getting two on Anderson. Gallows comes in and hammers away in the corner but here’s Ricochet to jump Styles for the no contest at 2:20. Actually never mind as it’s ANOTHER STUPID EXCUSE TO RESTART THE MATCH BECAUSE WE CAN’T JUST GO TO A FREAKING COMMERCIAL AROUND HERE ANYMORE!

Back with Dorado getting stomped in the corner until the Golden Rewind allows the hot tag to Kalisto. The rolling kick hits Anderson and it’s the springboard enziguri for two. A big flip dive takes Anderson down again but AJ breaks up a springboard. Kalisto tries it again but this time gets caught (mostly) in a spinebuster. The Boot of Doom hits Kalisto and the Calf Crusher is good for the tap at 8:14.

Rating: D+. Well thank goodness that they’ve come up with a bad solution to a problem that didn’t need to be fixed. This is like the Dusty Middle because there is no logical reason for it to happen (certainly not an explained one) and it’s just going to get worse as WWE continues to hammer this idea home.

We recap last night’s mixed tag and Lesnar cashing in.

Rollins says Lesnar doesn’t deserve the title and he’s possessed. Oh and Becky is tough and might be here tonight. He’ll fight anyone he has to in order to get his shot at Lesnar again.

We look back at Wyatt’s return.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya vs. Carmella vs. Naomi

Elimination rules and the winner gets the shot at Becky at Summerslam. Nikki Cross is here with Bliss and Becky comes limping out to watch. Bliss heads to the floor to start and Carmella’s rollup is broken up for no logical reason. Naomi and Natalya are left in the ring with an exchange of dropkicks, nipups and clotheslines. Carmella comes back in to steal two each, because people are often pinned by delayed covers off a clothesline. She does it again and the kickouts make her scream this time.

A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Carmella two on Naomi and the spinning headscissors sends Natalya into the corner. Natalya and Naomi get kicked in the face but Bliss runs in and steals the pin on Carmella at 3:03. Naomi takes a long time slamming Bliss and then dropkicks Natalya to the floor. Some kicks have Bliss in trouble in the corner as the fans really don’t seem interested here.

Bliss gets two off a clothesline and slaps her a few times for a bonus. We take a break with everyone down as the rules seem to be abandoned in the middle of the match. Back with all three circling each other until Natalya gets sent outside. Naomi hits a Blockbuster off the steps but Bliss jumps her from behind. Bliss takes Naomi back inside for a chinlock but gets caught in a Bubba Bomb into a rollup for two.

Natalya comes back in with the discus lariat to Naomi and another chinlock. There’s the surfboard to Naomi with Bliss coming in to cover Natalya for two at the same time. Naomi is back up to kick Natalya in the face but Bliss breaks up the split legged moonsault. A helicopter bomb hits Naomi but Bliss makes the save at two. Bliss grabs ANOTHER chinlock on Naomi, because this match needs a third chinlock at about the fifteen minute mark.

Naomi fights back up but gets knocked down for a fourth chinlock. Natalya makes the save but misses a charge into the middle buckle as the fans deem this awful. Naomi’s sunset flip is countered into a rollup to give Natalya the pin at 17:19 AND WE TAKE A BREAK!!! Back again with Bliss standing on the floor for a chat with Cross. Nikki grabs the mic and demands that the fans cheer for Bliss.

A right hand puts Natalya down and Insult to Injury gets two more. Natalya hits the belly to back drop and the stepover but Bliss avoids the basement dropkick. Fans: “LET’S GO CENA! CENA SUCKS!” Natalya follows her outside and hits a clothesline on Cross as the GOLDBERG chants start. Back in and the Sharpshooter makes Bliss tap at 23:26. That has to be some kind of a record.

Rating: F. I mean, what else could this be? The match was a nightmare and I can’t blame the fans for losing their minds like this. I’m really looking forward to finding out what the deal was here because there has to be some kind of a reason that they were left out there to die like this. That match was over 200x longer than Ryder vs. Kanellis.

Post match Natalya talks about what a difference a year makes but she’s ready to face her friend. Becky gets in the ring and says she’s learned that she’s better in war than in love. Natalya says that Becky must be a bad lover then “b****”. She promises to take the horseshoe out of Becky’s a** and win the title. Well that got harsh in a hurry.

Randy Orton wants to win the battle royal and even the score with Lesnar.

It’s time for MizTV with Dolph Ziggler as the guest. Ziggler requested to be on the show because he doesn’t like what Miz has turned into. Miz sucks up to WWE and does everything that he can but doesn’t even get booked on Extreme Rules. He’s out here wearing a shirt that says LONG ISLAND IS AWESOME but he’s not from Long Island. Or Hollywood for that matter. He’s from Cleveland and now he does whatever WWE tells him to do for the fame. Just like his wife. And the beating is on with Ziggler bailing. This is on the list of matches I never need to see again.

Maverick is spreading rose petals over his hotel room bed.

We look at Wyatt’s return again.

Back in the hotel room, Drake takes off his robs and reveals nothing but the belt and underwear. His wife gets ready but room service arrives. The bellboy reveals himself to be a referee though and Maverick frantically tries to find who is here. R-Truth pops out from the bottom of the cart and crossbodies Maverick for the pin and the title. Drake gives chase and the wife is left holding a pillow and screaming. Eh I was hoping for Truth in lingerie.

We look at Roman Reigns winning the first ever WWE ESPY.

Battle Royal

Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Big E., Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Braun Strowman, Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Bobby Lashley, Randy Orton

The winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam, Lashley has taped ribs and Lesnar and Heyman are watching from the stage. It’s a brawl to start with Corbin going after Rollins and Strowman punching Lashley in the bad ribs. Cesaro starts running at everyone in the corner to take over, including the Swing to Rey. Another one to Big E. is broken up and Lashley dumps Cesaro for the first elimination. Strowman does the same to Lashley and it’s time for a Strowman vs. Big E. showdown.

Big E.’s running splash staggers Strowman and Big E. manages the Big Ending but walks into the RKO. Sami gets rid of Big E. but walks into the RKO. The 619 connects and Orton gets rid of Zayn. There’s an RKO to Reigns followed by another 619 but Reigns shrugs off both finishers and Superman Punches Orton through the ropes. Rey hits a springboard seated senton on Roman but gets tossed by Orton. We’re down to Corbin, Rollins, Reigns, Strowman and Orton with the latter on the floor.

Strowman puts Corbin in the ropes so Reigns can hit the apron dropkick. A superkick from Rollins is enough to get rid of Corbin and get us down to four. Reigns spears Rollins by mistake and Strowman puts Roman on the apron. It’s the Chris Benoit/Big Show elimination but Rollins knocks Reigns out as well. Rollins thinks he’s won and has to hang on when Orton comes back in to throw him to the apron as well. The hanging DDT brings Rollins back in and Orton stops to stare at Lesnar. The RKO is broken up with a superkick to the ribs and the Stomp is enough for Rollins to get the title shot at 7:47.

Rating: C-. Well that was fast (the women’s match probably took up too much time). This was going to be Rollins or Reigns winning and Seth is a much better pick than Roman in storyline terms. I don’t need to see him fight Lesnar again, but that is the kind of thing you have to expect here. I’d rather they go with this than rush what could be a big story in four weeks so at least it makes sense.

Post match, Heyman promises that Rollins is going to be conquered. Rollins tells Heyman to shut up and promises a repeat of Wrestlemania. Lesnar teases coming down for a fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to think of this one as the biggest problem here was how fast so many things went by. How many matches on here didn’t even make two minutes? Couple that with the INSANE women’s match getting over twenty minutes (close to half an hour counting entrances and post match stuff) and this wasn’t the best start to the Heyman era.

Other than Wyatt, nothing really jumped off the page, though it wasn’t a bad show. That one match just wrecked the show, but I’m not exactly thrilled with where things are going at moment. Then again, they have to rush for Summerslam so maybe it’s not that bad. I liked it more than some recent Raw’s, so it certainly could have been worse.

Results

Ricochet/Usos b. Revival/Robert Roode – 630 to Roode

Viking Raiders b. Jackson James/Vinny Gruner – Viking Experience to James

Cedric Alexander b. Drew McIntyre – Victory roll

Samoa Joe b. Finn Balor – Crucifix

Zack Ryder b. Mike Kanellis – Rough Ryder

The Club b. Lucha House Party – Calf Crusher to Kalisto

Natalya b. Alexa Bliss, Carmella and Naomi – Sharpshooter to Bliss

Seth Rollins won a battle royal last eliminating Randy Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. Flair talks about how HHH knows he’s the greatest no matter what anyone thinks. Shawn Michaels came around and people started saying that HHH was “arguably” the greatest that ever lived. After last night though, there is no doubt about who the greatest of all time really is. HHH says Orton wasn’t quite destined to be the greatest because HHH is destiny. He could talk about how great he is but everyone knows it already.

That wasn’t all that happened last night though because something special happened. It’s the kind of thing that people are going to talk about decades from now. Therefore, here is Batista, the winner of the Royal Rumble, rocking a suit. HHH brags about Batista winning the Rumble, throwing John Cena out three times just to make the point clear. He’s proud of Batista because this is what they talked about from the beginning.

At first Batista was a guy with muscles in a t-shirt but now he has Armani suits, a Rolex watch, a Mercedes-Benz and women. Greatness gravitates to greatness and he’s a product of HHH after all. At Wrestlemania, it will be HHH’s honor to defend the title against Batista. After a smile, Batista says he’s glad to hear what HHH thinks of him. Now, let’s hear what Batista thinks of HHH.

We cut to a JBL promo from last night with JBL saying Batista can come to Wrestlemania and take a beating from the champ. As good as Batista is, he is not in JBL’s league. HHH doesn’t like what JBL said and tells Foghorn Leghorn that all Batista would have to do to be WWE Champion is come face JBL. However, he is NOT going to Smackdown because they’re having their big match at Wrestlemania. Batista never got to say anything after JBL’s promo. The pieces continue to fall into place.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Benjamin is defending. Dean hammers away to start as JR talks about him being a sponsor of the show. How you quickly transition from sponsor to title contender isn’t clear. Shelton fights back but Simon gets caught pulling something out of his bag. With the referee taking that away, Dean gets the bag up to block a Stinger Splash for two. Not that it matters as the Dragon Whip retains the title in a hurry.

Post match Simon says the only reason that happened was Shelton uses the Simon System. That earns him an exploder suplex to send him down to the lowest of the lower card for good.

HHH yells at Eric Bischoff about who put up that JBL clip. It turns into a threat, which Bischoff doesn’t like.

Wrestlemania Recall: Butterbean kills Bart Gunn’s career dead and knocks the Brawl For All into the vault for good.

Christy Hemme shoots off a t-shirt gun but here’s Edge to cut her off. Edge doesn’t like Christy playing dumb like this but it can’t be that hard for her. He wants to see what kind of shirts they are so Christy shows him that it’s a Wrestlemania XXI shirt. Edge rants about how he dominated the Royal Rumble by eliminating the most people and coming down to the final three, all after beating Shawn Michaels. Christy is panicking as Edge yells so violence is threatened.

Cue Shawn to make the save but he also wants to talk about Edge being embarrassed. What is embarrassing is saying that Edge beat him last night. Then Kurt Angle threw him out and busted him open, so yeah, Shawn has some pent up frustration. Therefore, he needs to let some of that out tonight in San Jose. Shawn already has a tag match tonight but he’s willing to work twice in one night twice in a row. Edge says no so Shawn superkicks him. That’s one way to shut someone up.

Maven vs. Hurricane

Hurricane shrugs off some kicks to the ribs and takes him down with a shoulder. A headscissors is countered into a side slam (not bad) and Maven stays on the back with a running forearm. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock but misses the Blockbuster. Maven finishes with the yet to be named Backstabber. Not very good, but it’s clear they’re done with Maven anyway.

Maria and Candice find Gene Snitsky in the women’s locker room….and he likes their shoes.

We look at Kane and Snitsky interfering in the Heidenreich vs. Undertaker casket match from last night.

Bischoff demands that Coach find out who played the JBL video. Theodore Long comes in and Bischoff accuses him of playing the tape to steal Batista from Raw. That’s exactly right but he had nothing to do with the tape. Long has already made a lucrative offer to Batista to face either JBL or Big Show. It sounds to him like Batista is Smackdown bound. Holla holla holla.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler have a forced flirty conversation about Orton’s tag match. Orton has to do it because this is what he does. From a kayfabe perspective, why is Stacy there? She hasn’t wrestled a regular match since October, she isn’t managing anyone and she just kind of hangs around the show. At least Christy comes out and does some official stuff occasionally.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending. Jericho elbows Conway in the face to start but it’s too early for the Walls attempt. Benoit comes in for a nice reaction and gets elbowed down, allowing Grenier to come in and stomp away. A Crossface attempt is broken up with a cheap shot and Grenier cranks on Benoit’s neck. That’s broken up and Benoit hits an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Jericho.

Grenier comes in as well and Jericho orders him to “COME ON FRENCHIE!” A bulldog takes Martin down but the Lionsault misses. Everything breaks down and Jericho tries the Walls on Grenier but has to switch to Conway to cut off a belt shot. Benoit and Conway fight to the floor as Jericho gets the Walls but Conway comes back in for the save. That’s enough for the double DQ and the fans are rather annoyed.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Titles are dying a horrible death here as the champs are lame ducks but don’t really have anyone else to drop the titles to. That left Jericho and Benoit fighting at half speed (at most) so they didn’t blow the champs away and that doesn’t help anyone. They need to find someone fresh for the titles soon because this is just sad.

Chris Master is coming. Maybe he can make a new vignette during this long delay.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for their usual complaining, though this time Hassan can complain about last night. That is proof of the discrimination so tonight he wants to fight any American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter shoves a ranting Daivari down before the bell and gets the cobra clutch in a hurry. A Daivari distraction breaks that up and Slaughter gets sent chest first into the buckle. Hassan fires off some knees to the ribs but Slaughter is back with the right hands. That’s about it though as the Downward Spiral into the camel clutch finishes Slaughter. Sounds like a Slaughter tribute from Hassan. That might be all he has at the moment too, as Hassan is floundering. What do you expect though when you have him beating Lawler, Val Venis, Hurricane and Slaughter?

Jericho and Benoit fire each other up with Jericho saying he wants the best from Benoit.

We get a Wrestlemania XXI promo, featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. This was edited off of the Royal Rumble on the Network for some reason.

HHH seems worried when Ric Flair comes in. Maybe HHH wants to face Batista at Wrestlemania too much. Long has offered Batista a lot of money so why should HHH hold him back? If Batista won the WWE Title, they would run the entire industry.

Here’s Bischoff to announce that Raw is coming from Japan next week. Therefore, he has three special matches to announce: Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match, William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and HHH vs. Edge for the World Title.

Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs. HHH/Ric Flair

Batista is here with Evolution. Orton slaps Flair in the face to start so Flair comes back with chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Shawn vs. HHH with Flair’s distraction not working very well as Shawn hammers away in the corner. That means an atomic drop but Shawn is fine enough to shove HHH off the top. An elbow (into the “controversial” heart of HHH) connects and everything breaks down with Batista grabbing a chair and beating on the steps with it. That’s enough for an ejection but the Batista sneakily smiles as we go to a break.

Back with Flair and Shawn trading chops in the corner until the Flair Flop gives Shawn two. A cheap shot from HHH puts Shawn back in trouble and the spinebuster gets two. Flair’s choking in the corner gives HHH the same and the abdominal stretch goes on. Shawn gets out and slams Flair off the top though and the hot tag brings Orton in to clean house.

Flair dives at Orton to save HHH and the referee gets bumped. That means an RKO to Flair but Orton seems to be concussed again, just as he was last night. HHH loads up the Pedigree but eats the superkick, only to have Edge come in for a spear….which hits HHH by mistake. Orton slowly crawls over and pins HHH.

Rating: C. There’s something amazing about how HHH is willing to let Orton have a pin after cutting his title run off at the knees a few months ago. Orton shouldn’t have won last night of course, but my goodness this comes off as funny in a way. They even set up next week’s title match a little bit more in the process. Not bad here and at least it didn’t feel like filler.

We look back at Kane and Snitsky flying off the stage earlier this month.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

In a cage and Snitsky gets a jobber entrance. They’re both still taped up from the aforementioned fall and both block a trip into the cage. A double shoulder gives us a double knockdown but it’s Snitsky up first to ram Kane back first into the cage. It’s way too early to get out though so Snitsky punches Kane down again. Cue Trish Stratus in a neck brace as Kane pulls Snitsky off the ropes.

Kane gets halfway out of the door but gets pulled back in as well. This time it’s a gordbuster to plant Snitsky with Kane going down as well. Snitsky goes face first into the cage and there’s the top rope clothesline to drop him again. Trish tries to slam the door on Kane’s head but Kane is smart enough (duh) to see it coming and drags Trish inside.

Snitsky grazes him with a big boot for the save and a two count though, allowing Trish to get out. That’s not enough though as Snitsky goes out to the steps but stops and rips the door off the cage. Kane kicks it into his face though and wedges it into the corner. A good crotching sets up the chokeslam to finish Snitsky, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Normally I would say “and that has to be it for this feud” but why should I believe that’s the case? They should have been done at New Year’s Revolution if not before and yet here we are. The match was terrible with both guys having chances to win and Trish adding nothing at all. This felt like a bad house show main event and I could go for more from the main event on the Raw after Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those weird periods where everyone knows what is coming to the letter but we have to wait until we actually get there. That being said, aside from the Batista stuff, there wasn’t much to brag about on this show other than the matches mostly not overstaying their welcome. Things will get better when we reach the big moment but until then, it’s not the most thrilling time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6