IMG Credit: WWE.com

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2004
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means one final push for Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which is always going to get more attention than the match the show is named after. Hopefully it’s a little better than last week’s build which droned on and on without actually adding anything. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Coach is in the back with a bunch of wrestlers who will be in the Royal Rumble on Sunday. Since he’s in charge tonight, Coach is going to have a battle royal tonight with the winner getting the number thirty spot. However, you have to qualify for the battle royal by winning your regular matches tonight. If there is any interference, you’re out of the Rumble entirely. Reason #1 why Coach is better at this than Bischoff: this took less than three minutes rather than the ten it would have likely taken Bischoff in the arena.

Opening sequence.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Matt Hardy

The Matt Facts are back and it turns out that he loves Mongolian BBQ’s and his counter tops are all granite. That could help for future gifts. Rob flips over Matt to start and scores with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Booker comes in to punch Christian a bit and a backdrop makes things even worse. A trip from the floor lets Matt pull Booker outside for a beating, allowing Christian to grab the neck crank. Makes sense after the Tombstone last week. Matt comes in with a neck crank of his own as JR and King critique Booker’s rap song.

The fans tell Christian that he sucks and they seem very pleased when Booker kicks him out of the air. Van Dam comes in off the hot tag and a standing moonsault gets two on Matt. Rolling Thunder hits knees though and Matt puts his feet on the ropes for two of his own. The villains try a double backdrop so it’s a double ax kick from Booker, setting up the Five Star to give Van Dam the pin on Matt, putting Booker and Van Dam in the battle royal.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to put some fan favorites into the main event tonight. Christian and Matt are a pretty random team but it’s not like Booker and Van Dam have anyone else of note to beat. Granted it’s not like the match means anything as it’s all about the main event anyway so it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember how WWE hyped up Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner last week? Well now Test has been added to make it a triple threat.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Coach is on commentary. Dupree gets in an early hiptoss to set up the French dancing, only to have the fans start up a Jericho chance. Dancing haters. Jericho dropkicks him outside but Dupree dropkicks him out of the air back inside. They exchange abdominal stretches and more dancing just annoys Jericho. He knocks Dupree away and does his own dance, setting up the bulldog into the Lionsault. Dupree’s knees are up and a Death Valley Driver gets two. Not that it matters as the Walls make Dupree tap without much trouble so we’ll see Jericho later tonight.

Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much better Dupree is when he has someone like Jericho out there to walk him through a match. Believe it or not, one of the best of all time is capable of putting anyone into a good match and that’s what happened here. Jericho’s face turn is starting to take hold and that should be a good thing going forward.

The Friends and Supporters of Mick Foley air their Foley isn’t a hardcore legend ad, which is still funny.

Christian asks Jericho to use his Survivor Series favor to get into the battle royal but that’s not happening. That sounds like something that’s going to matter later.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn Michaels, who used to be best friends but then HHH became all evil. Then they had a long feud with some traded wins and then Shawn pinned him on the last Raw of the year but it didn’t count. Now we’re having a Last Man Standing match. Now why does that need such a long recap?

Rico vs. Mark Henry

Rico wastes no time in spanking Mark and even throws in a kiss to Teddy Long. Back in and Henry runs him over, setting up the nerve hold. Rico fires up with some kicks but misses something off the top. The World’s Strongest Slam sends Henry to the battle royal.

Flair gives Evolution a pep talk for Sunday.

Classic Royal Rumble moment: Maven eliminates Undertaker in 2002.

Kane vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries to come off the top and gets choked a lot. More choking in the corner has the referee pulling Kane off so Spike shoves the referee, who thinks Kane did it. That’s a DQ to send Spike to the battle royal.

Kane wrecks Spike post match.

House show videos.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Test

Test gets double teamed to start and the beatdown is on in a hurry. A double clothesline drops Test and Steiner and Goldberg punches away at Steiner in the corner. Test gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Steiner gets two off a belly to belly suplex. There’s a double suplex to Goldberg but he avoids a clothesline, which hits Steiner instead.

The gorilla press powerslam plants Steiner but draws Test back in for the save. Test and Steiner argue over who gets to pin Goldberg until Steiner sends Test outside. A hot shot sets up the Steiner Recliner, only to have Test break it up. The spear and Jackhammer end Test, putting Goldberg in the battle royal.

Rating: D. Pick a triple threat that follows the exact same formula that we’ve seen dozens of times. There was no need to make this a triple threat but if it was to protect us from having to see Steiner go one on one, he can’t get out of here fast enough. Also, what would it say if Test is brought in to protect you?

We get a new Mick Foley ad, calling him a coward and a scared little girl. Randy Orton is a fearless superstar though.

Austin watches the ad, shakes his head, and rides through the back on the ATV very fast, nearly running over Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade.

Wrestlemania recall: the Brawl for All with the hilarious Bart Gunn knockout.

Here’s Austin for a chat. Austin gets straight to the point: Foley walked out of the company and then wouldn’t come fifteen minutes to the arena last week. That’s not the Foley that Austin knows and used to ride up and down the road with every night. They used to take the cheapest rental cars to the cheapest hotel rooms where they used to see who could make Diamond Dallas Page crack first. That’s not the Foley that Austin remembers so he wants Foley at the Rumble to beat up Orton once and for all. Austin toasts Foley, hoping that he’ll do the right thing.

Video on the launch party for the Originals CD. I could see the appeal of getting to meet Austin, Jericho and Trish among others.

Molly Holly and Trish get catty until Christian takes Molly’s place. He and Jericho had a great time last week on the road trip and Christian has some pictures on his phone to prove it. Jericho seemed to have some fun with a few good looking women. Trish was the last thing on his mind. Christian looks at his phone one more time, reminding him of the midgets.

Lita vs. Jazz

Not a battle royal qualifying match. The fans are already cheering for Lita so Jazz takes her down to the mat for some crossface shots. A monkey flip into some right hands have Jazz in trouble but she gets in a dropkick to the back of the head. Jazz’s chinlock doesn’t last long as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Foley. A spinning belly to back suplex sets up the reverse Twist of Fate but Long offers a distraction so Jazz can roll her up (with tights) for the pin.

Rating: D. That finish is getting very old and I don’t see things getting much better in the women’s division anytime soon. The fact that I saw Molly with the title about ten minutes ago and couldn’t remember who the champion was isn’t a good sign. They’re just going from feud to feud with no apparent direction and that gets old.

Hurricane is used to being the underdog and he’ll do it again tonight. He believes in himself though and that’s going to take him to the main event of Wrestlemania. That was a fired up promo.

We recap Foley not showing up last week.

Randy Orton vs. Hurricane

Non-title. Orton wastes no time in pounding Hurricane in the back, followed by a heck of a clothesline for two. A dropkick sets up a cravate but Hurricane fights up with a quick clothesline. Something like a reverse neckbreaker gets two on Orton and the high crossbody is good for the same. And never mind as the RKO ends Hurricane, wrapping up a short match with a lot packed in.

Post match Evolution comes out to gloat so Rosey comes in to keep an eye on his friend. The beatdown is on so the Dudleys make the real save but Orton saves Flair from going through a table. Coach comes in to yell and goes through it instead.

Henry talks trash to Jericho, who accuses him of eating moose vomit. Those are fighting words, with Henry promising to leave his “stank” on Trish. Henry: “And my stank smells good.”

Battle Royal

Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Goldberg, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Mark Henry

Spike is injured so we’re down to six men instead. Goldberg wastes no time in cleaning house until everyone gets together to beat him down. That includes a Five Star Frog Splash but Booker dumps Van Dam. Jericho gets rid of Booker seconds later, leaving Jericho and Orton to both skin the cat. Henry starts throwing people around and knocks Goldberg down but can only send Jericho to the apron.

A missile dropkick puts Henry down and Jericho dropkicks Goldberg’s knee out for good measure. Orton and Henry get together to toss Jericho and we’re down to three. Goldberg tries to fight back and spears Henry down but Orton makes the save. Instead Orton tries to do it himself so Goldberg knocks Henry out with a hard shoulder. Cue the rest of Evolution so Goldberg throws Orton onto the two of them for the win.

Rating: D-. Yeah that was pretty bad, with the win basically guaranteeing that you have no chance to win on Sunday. Goldberg is a good enough choice for the final spot as he can come in and wreck a few people before someone throws him out in the setup to a big angle. This was little more than a formality, though Orton did feel like he had a chance of winning.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost a stand alone show and it was very smart to not have Shawn Michaels and HHH on the show. There’s no need to waste time on that match after we spent so much time on it last week. The Rumble itself needed some build and it got the focus tonight, making this a better show than recent weeks but still nothing great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 12, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 6,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing in on the Royal Rumble and we’re finally starting to talk about the thing. Last week saw the first few names officially announced for the Royal Rumble match and we also have Shawn Michaels vs. HHH confirmed in a Last Man Standing match. Hopefully we get some more stuff added to the card, just to flesh things out a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach comes out for commentary because we’re just that lucky.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Trish goes after Jazz on the floor, leaving Lita to monkey flip Molly to start things off. Jazz comes in instead and gets suplexed down, only to have Molly pull Lita off the top. Another distraction lets Molly work on the arm but Jazz isn’t interested in some double teaming, mainly due to their issues last week. I can always go for some continuity, even in small doses.

Jazz misses a splash and it’s off to Trish for the first time. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s a headlock takeover to Molly/headscissors to Jazz, followed by a spinebuster (a rarity from Trish) for two. Lita and Molly head to the floor but Theodore Long offers a distraction so Jazz can grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were starting to get somewhere and then we had the same ending that happens far too often around here. The division still needs some fresh blood (Did Gail Kim fall into a hole or something?) and having these four fight again isn’t what’s going to make things any better.

Post match Long grabs Trish by the hair, drawing in Chris Jericho and Mark Henry for the save and beatdown.

Here’s Matt Hardy (oh yeah he’s on Raw) for a chat. Matt isn’t happy with everyone trying to steal his spotlight over the years and now Steve Austin is doing it too. Cue Austin on the ATV (with JR getting in the second usage of “Monday Night Raw is where you come to break the rules”, the new slogan, of the night) to make a lot of noise.

Austin talks about being here to enforce the law, which isn’t happening if you’re just getting beaten up. Now someone coming out here and running his mouth about getting nowhere, that’s breaking the law. He’s ready to beat Hardy up right now but Hardy wants fresh competition, and he’s wrestled Austin before. Austin: “I oughta write you a ticket for impersonating a wrestler.” Austin issues an open challenge for someone Matt has never faced before and it’s time for a match.

Matt Hardy vs. Bill Goldberg

Didn’t Eric Bischoff deactivate Goldberg for a while? Matt tries to jump him and gets shoved down for his efforts as JR recaps Goldberg being deactivated. A pumphandle suplex sends Hardy flying but he’s right back with a Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is countered into a gorilla press and the spear/Jackhammer complete the destruction.

Post match Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble. That’s the kind of name you need to be announced so good move.

In the back, Bischoff rants about Austin bringing Goldberg back but Austin says Bischoff never officially filed the paperwork to get rid of Goldberg. Well that’s quite the weak loophole. Bischoff relents but Austin can’t make matches going forward. I’m sure.

The Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton air the same ad from last week.

Orton has a seat waiting for Mick Foley in the front row if he’s willing to come the fifteen minutes from his house to the arena. Tonight can server as an example for what Foley can expect if he ever dares to come after Orton again.

D-Von Dudley vs. Batista

Batista wastes no time in jumping D-Von as JR talks about how unfair it is that Batista and Ric Flair are Tag Team Champions. A few shots to the head set up a suplex and a chinlock as Batista running a match isn’t the best idea in the world at this point. D-Von comes back with a jumping elbow and the top rope headbutt. It seems to have banged him up as well though and the Batista Bomb ends D-Von as Bubba and Flair fight on the floor.

Rating: D-. Can we really not just get two jobbers to be fed to Flair and Batista here instead of this one member vs. one member formula? D-Von isn’t exactly great on his own and Batista isn’t ready for a match like this, though at least he found something else to do besides the spinebuster and Batista Bomb. Just find a better way to advance feuds.

Orton is still waiting for Foley to arrive so he’s going to send a limo for him.

Long comes up to Jazz and Henry to explain how Bischoff set him up last week (“typical white man”) because he didn’t say how much power Austin really had around here. To make up for it, Henry gets Jericho later tonight.

Scott Steiner comes up to Goldberg and brings up their history in WCW. Steiner is in the Rumble as well and they’re fighting next week. Methinks this is a rare instance of WCW doing it far better.

Coach is in the ring to emcee a sitdown interview between HHH and Shawn Michaels. After Coach praises HHH and mocks Shawn during their entrances, we’re ready to go. Hang on a second though as Shawn throws the furniture out because this is man to man. Coach gets to the first topic of the DX days, which Shawn doesn’t seem interested in talking about. HHH says Shawn saw him as a sidekick but Shawn says they were equals.

That’s called out as nonsense (as it should be) and they get in an argument over who carried the wagon more. Shawn carried it until a broken back stopped him (and Steve Austin taking his place) but HHH carried it as soon as Shawn wasn’t there to take the spotlight. Apparently Shawn came back for reasons that HHH can never understand but HHH does understand: it was jealous because Shawn had to prove that he was the better man.

That brought them right here to this arena where Shawn proved that he was the better man in a street fight. HHH says Shawn won but got carried out while HHH was on his feet. This has always been about who is the best and it’s coming full circle again. HHH says he’s the ultimate student of this game and he’s studied everyone. Shawn is at the top of the list and there are only a few people who can be up there with him. As good as he is though, HHH is that much better.

That brings us to the title (after spending seven minutes arguing about everything else), which some people say either of them should hold. That ends at the Rumble and it might come down to just one second. All it’s going to take is one second for HHH to prove that he’s the champion and the best. Shawn likes that one second idea and superkicks Coach to show how fast it can be. As usual with HHH’s big promos, this was much longer and slower than it needed to be and didn’t tell us much of anything that we didn’t already know. You don’t have to sell HHH vs. Shawn this hard and they could have used this time better elsewhere.

And now, an ad for Heat. Ok then.

Booker T. vs. Kane

Post match Kane stays on him but misses a chair shot. He settles for a Tombstone instead.

Another anti-Foley ad questions his status as a hardcore legend, showing clips of his comedy stuff. These things have been funny.

Foley still isn’t here.

Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Henry has Long and Jazz in his corner. Jericho goes right up to him and is forearmed in the back for his efforts. A missed charge puts Henry on the floor and a baseball slide rocks him down again. Henry gets in a whip to the steps but Jericho sends him into the corner back inside. The missile dropkick gets two with the kickout powering Jericho way off. Henry bends him back first over the knee for a bit before switching to a bearhug.

Jericho slips out and dropkicks the knee but the Walls are quickly broken up. The bulldog literally pulls Henry’s hair out but Jazz grabs Jericho’s foot to stop the Lionsault. That earns her a beating from an invading Trish and Jericho somehow gets the Walls. The women get in the ring so the referee misses Henry tapping, which of course draws Long to the apron. Jericho lets go and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry is getting watchable after a few weeks of practice as he’s just there to stand in one place and show off the power while the smaller and more talented wrestlers do most of the work. That’s a good place for Henry and as long as they treat him like a monster, he can be a useful human.

Post break Christian yells at Jericho for wasting his time on Trish and says they’re going to hit up the town tonight and get her off his mind. They leave and Trish comes in, looking upset that she missed him.

Evolution is talking about Foley when Austin runs up on the ATV. In tonight’s main event, they better leave Orton alone in the main even. They don’t seem to buy it so Austin chases them with the ATV before stopping to spin in circles.

Foley still isn’t here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging and makes the mistake of chasing Orton, who stomps him back to the floor. That’s fine with Rob, who is right back in with a spinwheel kick to put Orton on the floor this time. Orton gets posted and looks a bit dead before coming up with a busted forehead. Rob hits the spinning kick to Orton’s back, knocking him into the empty chair….as the limo pulls up in the back.

We come back from a break with Orton in control in the corner and shoving Van Dam off the top for a heck of a crash into the barricade. Back in and Orton keeps him down with a bodyscissors, including some growling trash talk. As you might expect, the fans want Foley but have to settle for Van Dam elbowing Orton in the face. Orton is right back with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (I’ve always liked that move) and it’s off to a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back.

It’s back to the bodyscissors but this time Orton spices it up a bit by ripping at Van Dam’s face. Good grief that thing has been on for almost five minutes now. Do something else. Rob fights up and gets two off a northern lights suplex. A springboard kick to the face seems to completely miss but a camera angle bails them out (which doesn’t happen nearly as often these days).

Rolling Thunder and a springboard moonsault give Rob two each (in case you thought Orton did those things) but Orton knees him in the face. There’s the ref bump and the low blow cuts Van Dam down. Orton then lays down and yells at the referee to wake up before trying the RKO. I have no idea what the point of the laying down was but Rob uses the delay to kick Orton in the face. He gets crotched on top though and the hanging DDT from the top retains the title.

Rating: D+. This really was longer than it needed to be with the bodyscissors dragging the match out and the ref bump going nowhere. Van Dam should be done as a challenger now and that clears the way for whatever they have to do to get us to Foley vs. Orton. That’s Van Dam’s best role in the company: a short term champion who can lose the title to a hot prospect heel and give them a rub in a rematch.

Foley never showed up and we didn’t see who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: D. It’s another night with the heels dominating as Jericho, Booker T. and Van Dam all losing and the Foley tease going nowhere. Oh but we did get a LONG chat between Shawn and HHH, which is what the world was waiting for. They’re adding a few names into the Rumble but they’ve done a rather boring job of getting us there. At least we still have Austin vs. Bischoff, no matter what Austin’s new official job title is. Bad, dry show here as the heels continue to run everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Armageddon 2003
Date: December 14, 2003
Location: TD Waterhouse Centre, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 12,672
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’ll wrap up the pay per view schedule for the year here with another show that is hardly inspiring. The main event here is a triple threat match between Raw World Champion Goldberg, HHH and Kane, because why have one challenger who can’t bring out the best in Goldberg when you can have two? I’m almost scared of how lame this could be so let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home Raw if you need a recap.

The Fink opens us up. Fink: “Would you please rise TO HONOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA???” Lillian Garcia does her usual great rendition but I don’t have the urge to punch a French guy, meaning it’s kind of a failure on WWE’s part. This is the day after Saddam Hussein was caught so it’s not as random as it seems.

The opening video is your standard collection of Bible verses about Armageddon and as expected, it’s all about the triple threat.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker goes aggressive to start with a long series of right hands and is shoved down just as fast. We even get a rare Booker T. chant until Henry clotheslines him to the floor to calm them right back down. A whip sends Booker into the steps but he’s right back up with a slingshot dive to take Henry out. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Henry down again as the fans are sticking with this one early on.

Teddy Long offers a distraction though and Henry runs Booker over to cut him off and the pace slows right back down. We hit a modified bow and arrow for a bit before a running crotch attack to Booker’s back has him in even more trouble. Back in and we hit the chinlock as Henry isn’t exactly known for his varied offense. He mixes things up (by his standards at least) with a bearhug. See now he’s squeezing a different part of Booker so it’s a completely different style.

A hard clothesline cuts off Booker’s comeback but the legdrop misses. Booker’s bicycle kick sets up an ax kick for two in what might have been his big shot. Henry grabs a spinebuster and nearly collapses when covering for two. Dude it’s eight minutes into the match. You shouldn’t be that tired. Now the legdrop is good for two and Henry hits a jackknife of all things, which looked more like Booker slipped than being intentional. Possibly out of fear of his safety, Booker hits another ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry has been wrestling for going on eight years at this point and somehow he’s still not getting better. The power moves look good in spurts but the powerbomb looked horrible (not to mention dangerous) and you can only do so much squeezing in a nine minute match. At least Booker won though and Henry can drop back down to the midcard (at best) where he belongs.

Eric Bischoff is livid and gives Christian and Chris Jericho a pep talk for their mixed tag later tonight. Jericho looks hesitant but here’s Mick Foley in the arena to cut them off. Foley talks about how he’s here in Orlando to deliver his first pay per view as co-manager (I’m sure he’ll be yelled at for getting the title wrong.) of Raw. The Steve Austin petition has now broken one million signatures and that means it’s time for a celebration. Cue Stacy Keibler as a cheerleader for a series of cartwheels and the obvious visual appeal.

With Foley picking Stacy up, here are Randy Orton and Ric Flair to interrupt. Orton holds that Foley didn’t pull anything because he’ll need to be ready to count the pin in the Intercontinental Title match. Austin is gone because Orton got rid of him at Survivor Series so it’s time to crown a new champion. Foley says Orton wants to go so let’s have the title match right now.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton is challenging and Foley is guest referee. Rob sweeps the leg to start and Orton is already taking a breather on the floor. Back in and they hit a technical sequence with Orton not being able to do anything and leading to a standoff. Rob goes with what he does best and kicks Orton down. Another kick sets up a running flip dive to the floor as Orton can’t get much going so far.

Rob gets caught on top and shoved into the barricade though, which happens to him far too often. Then again it’s not like wrestlers are people who learn very well in the first place. Flair gets in some choking from the floor and Foley yells at him, which just lets Orton hammer away even more. We hit the chinlock (requirement fulfilled) for a good while until Rob gets two off a rollup.

Orton throws him onto his shoulder for a powerbomb but takes a step forward into a neckbreaker for a cool move. That means another chinlock until Rob fights up with a spinwheel kick. Rob (with his ponytail nearly out in a rare look) slugs away in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor again.

The breather works as Orton grabs the hanging DDT back inside and yells at Foley on the two count. As you might guess, Van Dam kicks him down again and hits Rolling Thunder but has to kick Flair away. There’s the stepover kick to set up the Five Star but another Flair distraction lets Orton crotch Rob. The RKO gives Orton the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is the perfect role for Rob: he can keep the title warm and give you a good match to make a bigger and better name champion. Orton had to win here as it’s high time to make him look like he has more than potential. Evolution looks better here too as the team has a second champion instead of HHH and three lackeys. Good match, even with Rob being his pretty usual self. Then again, it’s not like he cranked it up to another level most of the time in WWE.

Orton’s post match celebration makes the title seem like a huge deal as he seems blown away by winning it. You don’t see that often enough.

We recap the battle of the sexes with Jericho and Christian romancing Trish Stratus and Lita to some success. It turned out to be a bet between the guys though, which crushed both women and broke their hearts. Now though, Jericho seems to be having second thoughts, even as Bischoff has set up this mixed tag.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Jericho tries to talk his way out of trouble with Trish but gets slapped, setting up the forearms that you would expect from Sapphire instead of a multiple time Women’s Champion. That earns Trish a spanking so she kicks him away and slaps him in the head. Some bad dropkicks have Jericho in trouble so it’s off to Lita vs. Christian. Lita slaps him as well and then runs away, followed by some equally lame forearms.

A headscissors puts Christian down but Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron in a good heel move. It’s off to Jericho for some trash talking and some standing on Lita’s hair. A powerbomb is countered into a loose hurricanrana for two and Lita loses her top to the delight of both Lawler and the fans. Lita finally gets smart with a low blow, allowing the tag to Trish who thankfully throws the forearms that she would throw in matches instead of like she’s a terrified schoolgirl.

The Chick Kick rocks Christian and Jericho gets crotched on top. He’s fine enough to block the Stratusphere but Christian gets sent into Jericho. That’s enough for two off a rollup but a hard clothesline takes Trish’s head off. Lita comes back in with a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho make a save. Jericho checks on Trish and seems to show some sympathy until Christian rolls Trish up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was two different matches in one as the first half felt like something out of Memphis in 1974 and the second felt like it could have been interesting. In other words, once Trish and Lita realized they were Trish Stratus and Lita rather than fans in over their heads, it got a lot better. If that was the case throughout, this could have been a fun underdog match but for what we got, it was too little two late.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn was trying to survive for Team Austin at Survivor Series when Batista interfered and cost him the match. Batista wasn’t done though and beat Shawn up some more, setting up the match tonight. In other words, they’re hoping Shawn can pull off a good match to make Batista look better than he is. I mean, it’s not the worst idea in the world.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Shawn goes with the speed to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner to annoy Batista. More punches get the same result and a slide between Batista’s legs allows Shawn to punch Ric Flair out. Things reset a bit and this time Batista goes with power in the form of some knees in the corner.

Flair goes into cheerleader mode as Batista starts in on the back with a hard whip, followed by just driving an elbow into the side of Shawn’s head. Shawn blocks a belly to back superplex though and gets two off a moonsault press (which was a foot or so off center). There’s the nip up so Batista takes it outside for a whip into the steps to put Shawn down again. They’re doing well with the power vs. heart/experience idea here.

Some backbreakers get Batista back to where he was going before with Flair losing his mind that the referee hasn’t stopped it yet. Back up and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up before countering a chokebomb into a DDT. The top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a spinebuster. That means it’s Batista Bomb time but Shawn slips out and nails Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a shorter version of Orton vs. Michaels from a few months back and that’s the right way to go. I can live with Evolution not winning every match and Shaw using the experience and intelligence to win over a muscle head like Batista makes enough sense. If nothing else just have Batista power through some nitwit and he’ll be fine.

Post match Batista is so out of it that he thinks he won and here’s Maven for a match added on Heat. One beatdown later and Maven is done, meaning Matt Hardy (whose fingernails grow very quickly), his opponent for tonight, can get a forfeit win. That’s the fast track version of getting Batista back to normal.

In the back, a very sweaty Flair has to calm Batista down and say that Batista is better than Shawn. Everyone trips, but the good ones get back in the game. Flair has an idea and says they’re both leaving with titles. Thanks for the spoiler Naitch.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

Gauntlet match for the titles with the Dudleys defending. La Resistance vs. Rosey/The Hurricane starts things off with Conway slugging at Hurricane to start. A low bridge puts Hurricane on the floor as the USA chants begin. As usual, the fact that two Americans are currently wrestling goes completely over their heads. Dupree comes in and now that the chants are more appropriate, they starts dying down.

Hurricane gets in an X Factor and tags in Rosey to as much of a reaction as a tag to Rosey is going to draw about two minutes into a match. Rosey splashes Conway and dumps Dupree over the top before getting on the middle rope. Hurricane gets on his shoulders for a big splash to pin Dupree. Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in third and roll Hurricane up for the pin in about four seconds.

Lance Storm and Val Venis are in fourth with Venis and Jindrak starting things off. That goes nowhere so Garrison and Lance trade armdrags and headlocks. The BORING chants begin and you can see the empty seats from people hitting the concession stands. One heck of a left hand breaks up a springboard and Jindrak come in to crank on Storm’s arms. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Venis as everything breaks down. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Jindrak so Venis tries a suplex but falls victim to the Rick Rude/Ultimate Warrior finish for the pin.

It’s the Dudley Boyz in fifth to clean house with Cade getting caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba abusing his chest. Jindrak comes in for one heck of a clothesline on D-Von and it’s off to the chinlock. A top rope elbow hits D-Von but “misses” and the hot tag brings in Bubba. Everything breaks down and Jindrak rolls D-Von up for two, only to have the 3D send the Dudleys on. Cade decks both Dudleys as Scott Steiner and Test are in sixth. The villains come in with little resistance and Steiner’s push-up elbow gets two.

It’s off to a Fujiwara armbar of all things before Test comes in for some stomping. A regular armbar has as much effect so Bubba throws him down for a breather. The middle rope backsplash ACTUALLY connects for two on Test and it’s back to D-Von to pick things up a bit. A rollup gets two on Test but he’s right back with the full nelson slam for two. With the wrestling not working, Test does the old throw in the belt so you can use a chair spot for two on D-Von. The Bubba Bomb hits Test though and D-Von gets the pin to retain.

Well hang on a second as here’s Bischoff that we have a seventh team. In case you’re really slow, it’s Flair and Batista as evil bosses are still evil bosses. The beatdown is on with Flair putting Ray in the Figure Four and the Batista Bomb pinning D-Von. Evolution was in there for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D. This was long and uneventful until the screwy finish. The problem was the same as usual with most gauntlet matches: there’s nothing to the matches because they have to go so fast and in this case, most of the teams are so lame that it’s not exactly something worth watching. This could have been much worse with less time but still, just a screwy way to set up the ending of the show.

Video on the Tribute to the Troops announcement.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending in a match that I don’t think was even mentioned coming into the show. Ivory sends her out to the floor to start as the announcers debate sexual frustration. A dropkick to the leg knocks Ivory face first into the apron so the champ can take over. It’s off to an armbar and the discussion is off to Molly drinking prune juice. There’s a handspring elbow to Ivory as you can see even more empty seats now than during the tag match. Ivory sends her face first into the buckle for two but Molly reverses into a rollup with the tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. There’s no story and they had four minutes. What else can you expect from a match like this? It’s not their fault here as they were put in a match to fill in time and given nothing to work with, meaning the deck was entirely stacked against them. The division needs some fresh blood and Ivory isn’t the right person to challenge for the title.

We recap the World Title match. Goldberg is defending, HHH is HHH and Kane decided to attack Goldberg so HHH could say it was a different match when he gets the title back again.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Goldberg

One fall to a finish. The bell rings and they stand around staring at each other for a long time. After a minute of standing there, Goldberg walks to HHH and Kane walks to Goldberg, allowing HHH to jump the champ from behind. The double teaming is on as we’re waiting on who gets to cover Goldberg. A clothesline takes HHH down and a powerslam does the same to Kane as the fans are trying to get into this.

Kane sits up so Goldberg knocks him down again, followed by doing the same to HHH. Goldberg slams Kane off the top for a bonus and powerslams HHH for no cover. The distraction lets Kane get in a big boot and some right hands to Goldberg as I’m not expecting much of a story to break out here. A double suplex drops Goldberg and HHH covers for two, much to Kane’s annoyance.

Kane clotheslines HHH to the floor by mistake so HHH chairs him in the back, breaking up a chokeslam to Goldberg in the process. Goldberg takes the chair from HHH and wraps it around his ankle but Kane breaks up the Pillmanization. They head outside with Goldberg trying a Jackhammer through the table, only to be broken up with a chair to the ribs from HHH. You know, because why would you want Goldberg to get rid of Kane and then wear him out with the chair in your hands and a free shot?

HHH elbows Goldberg through the table but winds up in front of Kane while holding the chair that he used to put him down. Kane beats on HHH a bit as this just keeps going. They head inside with HHH getting beaten up some more, including the side slam for no cover. The chokeslam is blocked by a poke to the eye and a DDT plants Kane. That’s enough for the ring so they head up the ramp with Kane chokeslamming him there instead. Goldberg is finally back up and spearing Kane as they come back inside for two with HHH making the save.

It’s a three way slugout with Goldberg getting the better of it, including a double clothesline to take both guys down. There’s another spear to Kane and one to HHH, drawing in Evolution for a distraction. They’re quickly dispatched so Goldberg and Kane choke each other until HHH hits Goldberg low. Kane chokeslams the champ but Batista pulls him to the floor, allowing HHH to get the pin and the title. Merry Christmas to us.

Rating: D+. Much like the whole show, this was much more dull and boring than bad. There was a grand total of zero doubt that HHH would win as you have the Evolution title dominance to go with HHH not being World Champion in a few months, which is completely unacceptable. This was as good as “you hit me, I hit him, he hits you, now we switch” for twenty minutes was going to be, which should tell you everything you need to know.

Evolution celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There are worse shows, but this was 2003 Raw in a nutshell: a lot of Evolution, a good match here and there, but the whole thing is just so slow paced that nothing is really exciting. Also, much like a lot of the shows on the year, it barely broke two and a half hours, including the National Anthem. These one brand pay per views aren’t ready yet and that’s getting more and more obvious every single time they’re out there. These things need to be closer to two hours than three, but then they couldn’t charge as much and that wouldn’t be good, much like this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 10, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and since the card is mostly set, tonight is going to be all about the hard sell. While there are several options for building to the elimination match, odds are we’re going to have to listen to HHH talk about his match with Goldberg and that’s not a series of statements I’m likely to survive. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lita to get things going. She talks about how coming back was a big deal but winning the title back on Sunday will be even bigger. Cue HHH (JR: “IS THIS WHO WE THINK IT IS???” Well who else would be coming out to HHH’s music Jim?) with Evolution to interrupt. Lita asks if she can help them and HHH asks Orton for a dollar. Unless she plans on stripping and dancing for the dollar, she can leave right now.

With Lita gone, HHH shows us a clip of Batista returning and breaking Goldberg’s ankle. HHH makes a lot of threats about Sunday but here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin doesn’t want to hear this but HHH accuses him of trying to have one last Stone Cole moment before he’s fired.

Insults about Sunday’s elimination match are made until Austin asks HHH if he’s planning on wrestling tonight. HHH hadn’t planned on it so Austin tells him to get out. A brawl is teased but Austin says he can do it in six days. For now though, security can come out and escort HHH out of the building. HHH says he’s leaving on his own and threatens to sue if he’s harmed at all. What a waste of ten minutes.

In the back, Team Bischoff laughs at Austin but here’s Team Austin to insult them right back. Matches are imminent.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Van Dam is defending. Rob wastes no time in getting two off a monkey flip (yeah they’re really trying to get that over) as Lawler doesn’t know the difference between the near and far legs on a cover. A thumb to the eye sets up a DDT for two on Van Dam and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Rob catches him with a spinwheel kick in the corner as JR and King debate Christian’s level of creepy. The split legged moonsault gets two but a distracted referee lets Christian get in a low blow. Christian does the bring in the belt so he can use a chair trick but gets kicked down again. The Five Star retains the title.

Rating: D+. You can tell when Van Dam isn’t trying and that was clearly the case here. There’s not much you can get out of him when he just wants to do signature spots and unfortunately that’s been the case for a long time now. Maybe he can bring something out at Survivor Series but at this point I’m not really counting on it.

Shane McMahon is at a restaurant and gets a table for two.

Here’s Coach in a Yankees jersey with something to say. He gets in Lillian’s face and says he’s replacing her for losing her chair (the one Christian picked up) in the last match.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell until the French guys take Rosey down to actually start. The French dance sets up more shots to the leg but a Samoan drop gets Rosey out of trouble. Hurricane comes in to clean house (JR: “The man with green hair.”) as everything breaks down. Rosey gets knocked outside and a swinging neckbreaker of all things ends Hurricane.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but La Resistance are getting better. There’s still nothing to the characters as they’re just Vince getting out his anger over real world events but at least the in-ring stuff is getting smoother. Imagine that: getting rid of the utterly worthless Grenier and replacing him with another OVW talent works that much better.

Terri is worried about having to wrestle tonight but Lita says it’s going to be fine. Bischoff comes in to tell Terri to go find something less appropriate to wear in the ring. As for Lita, she needs to get ready to “play ball” once Austin is gone. As usual, this doesn’t feel right from Bischoff.

Jericho fires up Team Bischoff. Orton comes in and says he’ll save the day on Sunday. The team isn’t convinced. Long: “That’s one cocky cracker.”

Val Venis sneaks his two women into the locker room and one of them gets to see Lance Storm in the shower. They’re rather impressed.

Shane is ready to order but says he has a guest coming so he’ll wait. JR: “Who’s his guest?” Normally I can tolerate JR but this is stupid even for him.

Lita/Terri vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Coach announces Lita and Terri at a combined weight of 310lbs to annoy JR even more. Terri is in a dress and starts for whatever reason with Gail planting her off a side slam. Lawler freaks out over seeing Terri’s underwear and it’s off to Molly for more beating. JR figures out the obvious about Shane’s guest as Terri makes a comeback and brings in Lita. Not that it matters as Molly sends her into Gail and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Post match Gail rips Terri’s dress mostly off for fan service. The idea here is that this is what the women are going to be used to under Bischoff’s control. Well it’s under Austin’s co-control right now and it’s still happening so what difference does it make?

We look back at Randy Orton cheating to beat Shawn Michaels at Unforgiven.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair isn’t here tonight and the teammates are barred from ringside. Orton takes him into the corner for some uppercuts to start but gets chopped for his efforts. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music so Shawn punches him down for two instead. Shawn tries to get a bit too fast though and gets sidestepped to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Orton hammers away, with Lawler saying his fist is on Shawn’s chin like melted pizza cheese.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before the exchange of strikes goes to Shawn. There’s the forearm into the nipup but the ref gets bumped. The backbreaker drops Shawn again and Orton grabs a chair, only to get backdropped through it instead. Now Sweet Chin Music can connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty standard TV match with Shawn not really doing anything too fancy. It also doesn’t help that Shawn pins Orton six days before one of the biggest matches of Orton’s career but you knew he would get his win back as soon as possible. Not bad but too short to mean anything.

Shane eats appetizers and here’s Kane as his guest. They glare a bit until Shane promises that Sunday will be their last fight. Shane talks about how whoever goes into the ambulance is done for good so Kane asks how Linda is doing. He electrocuted Shane’s testicles so Shane could never have kids. Kane: “Did I succeed?” Kane doesn’t know love so Shane must know pain. Shane says Kane is pathetic instead of evil. He knows Kane is scared and everyone, even Kane’s brother, knows it. On Sunday, he’s being put out of his misery. Shane leaves, thankfully paying first. This was, in a word, stupid.

Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Mark Henry

Non-title. Steiner hammers on D-Von to start but gets shoulder blocked and legdropped. Bubba and Henry come in with Mark shoving him hard into the corner. The slow beating continues so D-Von comes in, earning both Dudleys a clothesline of their own. Steiner’s pushup elbow gets two but D-Von elbows him down.

The hot tag brings in Bubba as everything breaks down again. Bubba’s running clothesline manages to put Henry down but Steiner chairs Bubba in the back to break up the 3D. Of note: we’ve had five matches tonight and three of them have involved the usage of a chair. At some point you need to come up with something fresh.

Rating: D-. Long, slow, boring and just bad, but what were you expecting from the team of Scott Steiner and Mark Henry? There’s not much you can do when Henry is probably the better option of the two and Bubba and D-Von aren’t that level of miracle workers. Hopefully Steiner and Henry don’t last long on Sunday.

Post match Henry and Steiner destroy the Dudleys.

Austin is annoyed and Bischoff AGAIN points out that Austin has to trust people. They’ve beaten that into our heads for weeks now but one more time can’t possibly hurt anything right?

Clip of Lebron James in the front row last week. This week: some New England Patriots are here.

A backstage worker brings Jericho some water but he yells at her for taking too long. Trish Stratus pops in and doesn’t like what she saw so Jericho apologizes. They actually agree to go on a date. I love how we only get a little bit of this every week and it’s taking its time for a change. You don’t get that often enough.

Michael Cole and Tazz run down Smackdown’s half of the card. JR and King do the same with the red side.

Booker T. is reading WWE Unscripted with John Heidenreich. Apparently John wants to get a copy for Little Johnny for Christmas. Someone knocks on the door but there’s only a note addressed to Booker saying I STILL REMEMBER.

Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho

Booker gets in a hiptoss to start but misses the side kick and crotches himself on the ropes instead. A top rope elbow to the jaw gives Jericho two and we hit the chinlock. Jericho’s sleeper drop gets two and Booker is right back up with a right hand. The Book End doesn’t work but Booker grabs his spinning rollup into a crucifix out of the corner for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. Another victim of the time issue here as Team Austin continues to win the night. That doesn’t bode well for them on Sunday but at least they went with a logical build towards the pay per view. I’m glad they went with this over a week rather than doing it for a month or so on end as you would see today.

Post match Jericho puts him in the Walls as the rest of Team Bischoff comes in for the beatdown. Team Austin makes the save and takes care of Coach for running his mouth a little too much. Standard operating procedure here.

Video on Shane vs. Kane. That dinner scene was suffering enough.

Goldberg vs. Batista

Non-title. Goldberg, with a broken ankle, doesn’t even take the title off before gorilla pressing Batista without much effort. Without much height either but he’s hurt. Batista heads outside and grabs the leg to ram it into the apron. A shot into the post makes things even worse and a spinebuster plants Goldberg. The spear cuts Batista in half but here’s HHH for the quick DQ. Well duh.

HHH gets in the Pedigree but goes for the sledgehammer, allowing Goldberg to spear him down. A hammer shot to Batista sends HHH bailing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was as ho hum of a go home show as you could have gotten and since those are often bad in the first place, the show was made even worse. The Survivor Series match looks good but HHH vs. Goldberg and Shane vs. Kane are both death. Maybe the Smackdown side can help but at this point, Sunday is looking pretty rough indeed. Bad show here, but more uninteresting and uninspired than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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It worked so well last time.

US Title: Randy Orton(c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal

If there was ever a nacho break match, this is it. Rusev is the only interesting one of them in the first place and calling him interesting is a stretch as WWE barely allows him to do anything. That being said, I can’t imagine them giving him the title because he’s from Bulgaria and there aren’t nearly enough potential WWE Network subscribers there. It’s not like he’s crazy popular in the United States and could sell you merchandise and draw ratings to make up the difference. That’s just lunacy.

Alas, I think I’ll take Mahal to win. WWE LOVES pushing this guy for various annoying reasons and while it seems like the perfect time to have Rusev (the smart pick) or Orton (the safe pick) win, I’ll take them to go with the dumbest idea they have and give it to Mahal. After all: the 1.3 billion people weren’t interested in him as WWE Champion, but as UNITED STATES CHAMPION, it’s a totally different situation. As much as I’d love a fast RKO or for Rusev to CRUSH, it’s likely Mahal because WWE doesn’t like the fans that keep watching every week.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2003
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s all about HHH at the moment, despite him not actually being on the show. The big story is a $100,000 bounty that HHH has placed on Goldberg’s head, giving us great villains such as Mark Henry and La Resistance trying to collect. I’m sure we’ll hit the thrilling part soon enough. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, with the bounty money in a briefcase and Ric Flair, on crutches, are in the back with Flair saying the right person to claim the bounty hasn’t come around yet. Flair is too injured to wrestle Maven tonight but here’s Shawn Michaels to get their attention. Ric says he’s called Shawn and HHH the greatest of all time and last week he had to see Shawn beaten up by Mark Henry.

The fire is still burning in Shawn so he needs to go show everyone that he still has it. Blow the roof off the place and be HBK all over again by taking out Goldberg. If that’s not enough incentive, there’s $100,000 to be won. Shawn walks away without saying anything. Heck of a promo from Flair, who knows how to do this better than almost anyone else.

Opening sequence.

We open with a recap of Kane being destroyed last week but Chris Jericho, in the ring with Christian, says cut it off. Jericho calls this proof that Steve Austin needs to be removed from his position. This never happened under Eric Bischoff and now everyone in the back is following Austin, including Shane McMahon. Then on Friday, Shane broke Test’s foot at a match in Louisville, Kentucky. How long do people have to suffer because of these two maniacs?

This brings out Shane to say that Austin wasn’t responsible for what happened last week and breaking Test’s foot. Maybe Jericho and Christian will need an ambulance of their own this week. Cue La Resistance of all people to say this is a typical American response. The four on one beatdown is on but here are the Dudleys for the save. The villains refuse to fight and I’m assuming we have a main event.

Goldberg arrives and has to avoid being run over. That’s twice in less than a year.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging as his horrible misfortune continues after losing to Test. Seriously, how can he handle being in a title match? Steiner has Stacy Keibler sit in a chair at ringside and takes Rob into the corner for an early beating. More chops keep Rob in trouble until he gets a boot up in the corner. The split legged moonsault connects but Steiner is back with a suplex. Now he wants Stacy’s chair but gets turned down, allowing Rob to hit a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder sends Scott outside where he grabs the chair himself for a stupid DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. Steiner is little more than a pretty weak midcard villain who can only get anywhere when he yells at Stacy. The match didn’t have a chance to go anywhere but that’s the right call here as Steiner continues to get more and more useless by the week.

Post match Steiner loads up the chair to hit Stacy but here’s Austin to interrupt. Austin tells Steiner to hit him instead and Scott actually does so, meaning the beatdown is on. Scott finally shoves Stacy into him to escape so it’s time to drink beer. Stacy doesn’t like it though, earning herself a Stunner. That’s probably not the best use of Austin in the world.

Maven vs. Rico

Flair is on commentary. Right wastes no time in kneeing Maven in the ribs as Lawler drools over Miss Jackie. A kick to the face gives Rico two but he misses a second, allowing Maven to hit an atomic drop. For some reason we don’t get the over the top selling from Rico so Maven hits a spinwheel kick instead. Maven’s spinning bulldog gets the pin.

Post match Flair is fine and runs down to hit Maven with the crutch. Gee I’m stunned.

Rosey, in civilian photographer attire, runs into Lance Storm who is reading Lita’s book. Storm agrees to have his picture taken when Hurricane comes in. There has been an accident at the Pittsburgh orphanage: someone has put caffeine in the babies’ milk and superheroes are needed! Rosey goes into a phone booth to change. Comedy ensues.

We look at the limo incident again.

The Dudleys come in to see Shane and tonight it’s an eight man tables match with the three of them and someone else against La Resistance/Jericho/Christian.

Goldberg tells….I’m guessing the parking lot attendant to look for the Cadillac that tried to run him over. Someone shoves a bunch of stuff off a high shelf but misses Goldberg.

Here’s Goldberg in the arena to say if someone wants the bounty, come get it. This brings out Shawn, who says the money isn’t a factor for him. Goldberg has forgotten the spear to Shawn last week and that’s not cool. Shawn: “When I make mistakes Goldberg, I own up to them.” Uh….yeah.

As you laugh at that statement, Goldberg and Shawn go nose to nose but here’s Tommy Dreamer with a kendo stick to….well to do very little as it’s a spear to cut him down. Shawn picks up the stick and Flair comes out, ranting and raving for Shawn to hit Goldberg. Now it’s Teddy Long and Mark Henry coming out saying they want the bounty. Bischoff shows up and makes Goldberg/Shawn vs. Flair/Orton/Henry for tonight.

Chris Jericho/Christian/La Resistance vs. Shane McMahon/Dudley Boyz/???

Tables match with one fall to a finish. The mystery partner is….the returning Booker T. Christian bails from Booker to start so we’ll go with Jericho instead. A kick to the face and a chop to the chest have Jericho in trouble before Bubba comes in for the big right hands. It’s off to Dupree who gets beaten up by both Dudleys. Jericho smacks D-Von in the back of the head though and the pace slows quite a bit.

We get into the standard alternating heel beatdowns as we’re still waiting on anything resembling to a tables match. Jericho scares the partners away but gets caught with a flying forearm. It’s off to Bubba to hammer away but Shane has to catch Jericho and Christian from walking up the ramp. You know, because they can’t beat up SHANE MCMAHON even when they’re up two to one.

Back in and ring and Shane punches away at Jericho, which of course works just fine. La Resistance crotches Shane against the post as this is already running longer than it needs. Thankfully the first table is set up at ringside but Booker scares the French guys off. Back from a break (WHY?) with Shane avoiding a charge to crotch Jericho on the ropes.

Conway is right there to keep Shane in trouble with a whip into Dupree’s elbow. The sleeper drop keeps Shane down and we hit the chinlock as I sit in awe of this show’s efforts to make Shane look like a big deal. Shane scores with a DDT for the hot tag off to Booker as everything breaks down.

Christian gets in a low blow to cut Booker down so Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb. Things finally start to pick up as Bubba brings in a trashcan to knock Bubba silly. D-Von makes the save this time though and Shane hits Coast to Coast. Well that escalated quickly. It’s table time but Jericho breaks it up with the Canadian flag. Cue Spike Dudley to go after Jericho, leaving Christian to take the 3D. Booker puts Conway through the table for the win.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but this was nearly twenty minutes long with most of it being pretty basic tag wrestling before everything went nuts in the last few minutes. Shane wasn’t exactly pushed down your throat here but he was the featured performer in the match. Do we really need to push him this hard? His match with Kane is obvious and someone else could get a rub here. It wasn’t bad but it could have been cut in half, which isn’t a good sign.

Video on the recent house shows. You don’t see that outside of an international tour very often.

Rosey still can’t get out of the phone booth.

Back in the arena, the winning team is putting on a Spinarooni exhibition when Jonathan Coachman interrupts. He shows us the limo incident again but Shane takes the mic away. The Dudleys and Booker get rid of Coach so we can go live to Kane’s hospital via satellite. The doctor says Kane has been in and out of consciousness all week. Shane challenges him to one more match and Kane’s heart rate monitor picks WAY up. He heard Kane crying and that’s enough to wake Kane up so he can attack the doctors.

Lita/Trish Stratus/Ivory vs. Victoria/Gail Kim/Molly Holly

It’s a brawl to start with Ivory flapjacking Gail and getting two off a bulldog. Lita comes in and gets taken down by Molly as Jerry compliments Victoria’s gear. For some reason this turns into a discussion of JR wearing a backwards leather thong. Molly gets crotched on top though and it’s quickly off to Trish. The Stratusphere brings Molly back down and Lita adds a Twist of Fate. Steven Richards takes Lita out but Trish gets a sunset flip for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Adding Victoria and Ivory helped a little bit but there’s only so much you can do in a six person tag with four minutes and interference. The main story of the division seems to be Trish vs. Victoria, which isn’t the best idea in the world when you have the title just sitting on Molly and going nowhere. I’ll take a story over no story though and this is already better than a lot of the other stretches we’ve seen from the women’s division over the years.

Post match Stevie and Victoria go after Trish but Chris Jericho of all people makes the save and checks on her. That’s quite the sudden change of pace but I’m rather pleased.

We recap Austin beating up Steiner and Stunning Stacy earlier.

Jericho comes up to Austin in the back and calls him a disgrace. Chris leaves and Jon Heidenreich comes in with a highlight tape put together by Little Johnny. Austin actually agrees to watch it but Heidenreich panics when Austin asks who Little Johnny is. Now, Austin goes to find a bar but runs into Rosey in the phone booth. Austin decides to forgo the bar because he needs to drink now.

Flair and Orton are ready for the tag match when Henry and Long come in. They’ll go after Goldberg but they’re doing it to his face.

Goldberg/Shawn Michaels vs. Mark Henry/Randy Orton/Ric Flair

Orton and Shawn get things going but Michaels bails to the floor to slug away at Henry. Back in and Shawn takes out both Orton and Flair with the latter wanting Goldberg. Ric gets what he wants, has no luck on offense, and gets to face Michaels again. Orton has some better luck until he tries a forward dropkick which I don’t think was supposed to connect. Shawn didn’t look ready for it and Orton sold it like he crashed off a miss.

Anyway it’s off to Henry to throw Shawn around before Flair comes in for the chop off. A double clothesline allows the hot tag to Goldberg, who slams Henry with ease. The top rope elbow and a dive over the top leave Goldberg alone to spear Henry in half. A really sloppy looking Jackhammer (understandable) is enough for the pin on Mark.

Rating: D. Well at least this one was shorter. Between the Orton dropkick and Goldberg not being able to hit the Jackhammer properly (again, not the biggest criticism), the match was kind of a mess. At least Goldberg got to pin Henry and get us out of that story though and now we can move on to more serious threats. Like Shawn maybe.

Post match Shawn superkicks Goldberg and here’s Bischoff to make Goldberg vs. Shawn for next week.

Overall Rating: D. I think the lack of a pay per view is getting to this show in a hurry. With HHH out, there’s not much for most of these people to do, save for setting up Shane McMahon of all people as the second biggest face on the show. Then there’s Austin attacking Scott Steiner almost out of nowhere and I’m really not sure what the goal is right now, other than getting to Survivor Series. Some of the stuff is ok but so much of it feels like they’re just throwing stuff at the wall to fill in time. It’s certainly not the worst but a lot of this felt like a house show with a budget.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story is….well I’m not sure actually. Maybe it’s HHH vs. Goldberg? Or is it Shane McMahon vs. Kane? Or is it whatever Vince McMahon and company are up to when he crosses over to this show? Either way last week’s show was the slightest upgrade so hopefully that trend continues. The show is opening with Kane vs. Rob Van Dam inside a steel cage as the annual fight against Monday Night Football begins. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually already done this show. Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/monday-night-raw-september-8-2003-when-the-highlight-of-the-show-is-mollys-hair-youre-in-trouble/

The cage is lowered.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Pin or escape to win (I’m assuming submission is implied). Kane jumps Rob on his entrance and the beating is on in a hurry. Van Dam gets a boot up in the corner though and the basement dropkick puts Kane down again. That just earns Rob a trip into the cage and Kane crushes his head against the steel like a violent monster should. Van Dam is already busted so Kane sends him into the cage again.

Kane blocks the kicks and throws him into the cage for the third time in a row. Rob crotches him on top though and a top rope kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder. A ram into the cage looks to set up the Five Star but Rob only hits mat. Kane is right back up with an Alley Oop onto the ropes/into the cage. To mix things up, Kane sends him into the cage a few more times, only to break the wall so Rob can fall out for the win.

And of course not because Eric Bischoff is RIGHT THERE to say it had to be over the top or through the door so that doesn’t count. Back from a break with Kane sending him back inside and sending him into the cage over and over again. The door is slammed on Rob’s head but Kane lets him climb halfway up the cage. A few kicks allow Rob to get even further, only to be pulled down for a super chokeslam and the pin.

Rating: D-. Good night this was boring. It was nearly fifteen minutes of Kane throwing him into the cage over and over with nothing changing from beginning to end. Kane is a monster and that’s all well and good, but now I’m supposed to buy Shane McMahon as having a chance against him? After this kind of destruction of a former Intercontinental Champion?

Van Dam is taken out on a stretcher.

We look at Goldberg running through Evolution last week.

Here’s Bischoff for some announcements before Steve Austin gives the State of the Raw Address tonight. First up: Kane vs. Shane is official for Unforgiven. He’s also changing a match at the pay per view. Now it’s going to be JR/King vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman with the winners being the permanent Raw commentators. As for tonight, it’s Goldberg/a mystery partner vs. HHH/a mystery partner with Bischoff picking the partners. The partners are going to be Flair and Orton aren’t they? Also, what does it say that Coach/Snow vs. JR/King is a major upgrade? That’s how bad things were looking.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

After I take a few seconds to get my eyes back in my head from seeing Jackie Gayda here, we see Storm worrying to Goldust about being called boring tonight. Goldust is proud of Storm’s progress though. Last week he was jaywalking and had a double bacon cheeseburger with extra pickles. Goldust: “And who was pleasuring themselves with a pop up book?” Storm: “That was you man.”

Storm even does the Goldust breath and actually does it quite well. Before the match, Rico tries to start the BORING chants but gets RICO SUCKS instead. Storm punches him in the mouth to start and grabs a suplex for two. A rake of the eyes cuts Storm off though and let’s talk about the Unforgiven tag match. Rico’s hiptoss into a neckbreaker gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Storm comes back with clotheslines and a kiss to Jackie (sexual assault isn’t boring) and a springboard missile dropkick puts Rico away. Storm’s celebration doesn’t work that well given the lack of music.

Bischoff won’t tell HHH who the partner will be. Given that it’s going to be Orton or Flair, I’m not sure why he won’t say anything.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Having Trish run through all the random partners like this isn’t exactly showcasing any talent or depth to the division. Molly and Jackie get things going as JR thinks the villains are jealous of Trish. Haven’t they said that multiple times already? Jackie rolls her up for two, followed by a basement dropkick for the same on Gail. A double DDT plants Jackie as King says JR needs to be taking notes.

Due to reasons of stupidity brought on by jealousy, Gail throws Jackie over for the tag to Trish. That earns her a Thesz press as Trish starts cleaning house. A headlock takeover/headscissor combination takes both villains down but they toss Trish to the floor for a painful looking crash. That’s actually enough to give Gail the pin.

Rating: D. I’ll certainly take an uninspired motivation over no motivation so the Molly and Gail being jealous of Trish story is fine enough. You can kind of tell what they’re building to with Trish’s eventual partner and there’s nothing wrong with where they’re going. If nothing else, Gail is already improving beyond “she’s a face who can do hurricanranas”. Match was nothing of course, but the crash at the end looked good.

Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. He chucks the podium over the top because that’s just not the Steve Austin style. Before we get to Raw though, there’s something he needs to address regarding Unforgiven. HHH vs. Goldberg is title vs. career so HHH is going to do whatever he can to retain the title. Therefore, if HHH gets disqualified, he loses the title.

Moving on, we have Kane running around like a monster and electrocuting a man’s testicles. Note for future reference: Austin shouldn’t say testicles. Anyway, that should warrant Austin whipping Kane but that’s against the rules. After a meeting with his cabinet (his liquor cabinet that is), he’s decided that it sucks and the audience poll agrees.

This brings out Christian before any announcement can be made about Kane, which is rather rude. Christian says that what really sucks is the lack of respect from Austin. He knows he’s not getting an apology and the peepulation in Huntsville is outraged over these developments. Austin: “The entire peepulation thinks you’re an a******.” Christian: “I want my own talk show!”. His win over Jericho last week shows that he’s the real thing around here, so the Highlight Reel should be turned into the Peep Show.

This brings out Jericho and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Now one would assume that’s a face turn, but Jericho immediately starts yelling at Austin. Jericho calls Austin a bully and a failure as a GM, not to mention a human being. He wants to see Austin fired every single day because the Highlight Reel can’t be canceled.

Austin doesn’t intend to cancel the show and offers Jericho a beer. Jericho is on to this game though and isn’t about to provoke Austin into beating him up. Jericho: “If you want to see me drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy do”. Austin: “That was the absolute worst catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw”.

Jericho drops the beer Austin throws him though and you can tell things are getting serious. In a funny bit, Austin tosses another one from about a foot away and beer is consumed….but Jericho slaps him on the back. That means a Stunner so beer can fly everywhere, ending this segment which somehow only accomplished adding another stipulation to HHH vs. Goldberg. I mean….am I missing another point to this? Did we really need a five minute Jericho and Austin segment with the same ending that almost all Austin segments have?

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Hurricane/Rosey/Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start (shocking) with the good guys cleaning house and D-Von throwing Spike onto La Resistance. Dupree takes What’s Up and it’s already table time. Bubba and Henry have the hoss fight on the floor, leaving Rosey to double clothesline Conway and Dupree. It’s off to Spike, who actually manages to send Mark outside, where he comes up holding his leg. That’ll likely be six months on the shelf.

Hurricane comes in off the hot tag to clean house until Bubba tags himself in for a double Flip Flop and Fly. Spike chases Grenier to the back and Dupree takes a Samoan drop/swinging neckbreaker combination from the heroes. Rosey goes shoulder first into the post, only to have Conway take 3D. Mack gets a Bubba Bomb but Henry is back in with the World’s Strongest Slam to pin Bubba. You can feel the energy go out of the arena on the pin.

Rating: D. This got energetic at the end but a ten man tag needs a heck of a lot more than five minutes to go anywhere. Cut out Spike and Conway and this is a little better but still, too many people trying to do too many things. The act that La Resistance vs. the Dudleys is WAY out of gas at this point didn’t help either.

Post match La Resistance tries the double spinebuster over the top to put Spike through a table but leave him WAY too short, sending the back of his head off the edge of the table, which doesn’t break. Oh but they do put Hurricane through the table to no reaction because the fans are worried that Spike has a broken neck. So they’re boring and can’t do a table spot safely. Well done guys. But hey, at least they can get cheap anti-American heat and that validates everything.

And now, after one of the scariest looking botches you’ll ever see (though Spike seemed to be ok), let’s go to Coach, Snow and Bischoff making fun of JR and King. How many people even know they’re the Heat commentators? Better yet, why are they the Heat commentators? After that comedic brilliance, Bischoff makes a six man tables match with La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. the Dudleys at Unforgiven. Coach and Snow have something in store for JR tonight but Gail Kim comes in to want to talk to Eric. This includes shoving him into a locker and sitting on his lap. Ok then.

HHH compares Goldberg to a can of YJ Stinger (energy drink sponsor). The difference is the Stinger gets the job done and Goldberg is nothing but hype.

We look back at the cage match and Van Dam being destroyed.

Unforgiven rundown. All these matches that feel like leftovers from previous pay per views are making me think of spoiled milk.

Shane McMahon is in WWE Studios in Connecticut for an interview but Bischoff interrupts and makes Kane vs. Shane a Last Man Standing match. Again, because Shane isn’t a wrestler and can’t have a regular match. Shane: “Screw you Eric.” Eric: “I just screwed you.”

Gail, now minus the coat she had when she went to see Bischoff, adjusts her top while telling Molly that the deal went through and they’ll finish Trish next week.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Victoria, Test and Stacy Keibler are here. Steiner throws him into the corner to start but Test’s distraction lets Steven grab a neckbreaker for two. That just earns him an overhead suplex and some chops in the corner. There’s the push-up elbow but Steiner decides to bring Victoria in instead. Test gives Steiner a full nelson slam for two but the Stevie Kick is blocked. Steiner’s Flatliner is good for the pin.

Post match Steiner says Stacy should be with him again so let’s have ANOTHER Test vs. Steiner match for Stacy’s services. This time though, Steiner’s services are on the line as well. Therefore, if Test wins, Steiner has to watch Test and Stacy. That took quite the turn and that’s not exactly something I need to see.

Next up: Bischoff announcing Flair and Orton as HHH and Goldberg’s partners.

Actually we get Coach and Snow in the ring for the “comedy”. It’s the old (and bad) someone’s face on unfunny pictures with a theme of what JR could do after he’s fired. Several involve JR being some sort of woman, or a mule at the end. JR comes to the ring, gets insulted some more and punches Coach out. What is this? Four segments on a match between announcers, a part time wrestler and a commentator? Against the debut of Monday Night Football?

Goldberg doesn’t know who his partner is and doesn’t care. It’s going to be Flair or Orton. I don’t know why this is in any kind of doubt because it’s the only thing Bischoff would logically do.

Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???

And of course the partners are Orton and Flair respectively.

No match as the beatdown is on and the cage is lowered, trapping them all inside. King of course says that means no one can get in to save them, not understanding the concept of “there is no roof”. Goldberg fights back for a bit until a chair shot takes him down. The bloody Goldberg is beaten down but falls out of the first Pedigree attempt to make this look even worse. The second one Pedigree actually works and HHH talks a lot of trash to end the show. You knew this was coming when Goldberg looked dominant last week because AT BEST he’s allowed to go 50/50 with HHH.

Overall Rating: D-. There were a few spots in there that weren’t as dark as others but that’s as good as I can go. The problem here is it felt like the punted with Monday Night Football being sure to dominate the night. That makes sense, but it’s not a good sign when so much of the show is a repeat or continuation of a story that has been going on FAR too long now. Get to Unforgiven so we can get past it because this is all bad stuff at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws reunited as a nostalgia act and pinned the champs to earn this shot. Dogg and Cody get things going with Dogg hammering away, only to miss his Shake Rattle and Roll punch. Cody misses the Disaster Kick but sends both Outlaws to the floor. The champs hit dives on the Outlaws as we take a break. Back with Goldust in trouble as Dogg puts on a chinlock.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener and the fans were into the nostalgia. The Outlaws were only transitional champions anyway as the Usos would get the belts before Wrestlemania. Cody and Goldust had them back before the year was over too so no one was really hurt by this.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray huddles with his Family on the floor, allowing Daniel to take him down with a plancha. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Wyatt but he chops Daniel off the middle rope and out to the floor. Bray charges at Daniel but drives the bad knee into the steps to put him back down again. Back in and Daniel starts kicking at the leg before snapping off a dragon screw leg whip. A modified curb stomp gets two for Bryan but Bray drives him back into the corner.

Some kicks stagger Bray and a drop toehold sends him into the middle buckle. Daniel kicks away in the corner and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. Another running clothesline is countered by a running elbow to the chest as Bray takes over again. Bryan low bridges him to the floor and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. A running dropkick sends Bray into the barricade and a missile dropkick puts Wyatt down in the ring.

The YES Kicks get two but Bray turns him inside out with a clothesline for two. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray bites his way out of the YES Lock. Daniel scores with more kicks and hits a top rope splash but Bray ducks to the floor to avoid the running knee. The Flying Goat is blocked though and Bray hits Sister Abigail into the barricade to knock Bryan silly. Back in and another Sister Abigail is good for the pin.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar is going to challenge the winner of Orton vs. Cena for the World Title. However, first he has to make an example out of Big Show.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is here.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

These two have had a feud for years and this time Big Show has been getting the better of it through pure power. Lesnar takes Show down before the bell and pounds on him with fists and then a chair. As Big Show is down, Lawler says Big Show gave Lesnar his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble, which would be three months before Lesnar debuted. We get the opening bell with Lesnar getting another chair but Show nails him with the KO Punch. Lesnar is rocked and Show takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Big Show loads up another KO but Lesnar ducks and throws him up for the F5 for the easy pin.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

No countout and no DQ with Orton defending.. The fans loudly chant for Daniel Bryan before and after the bell. They hit the mat and the fans are already bored less than twenty seconds in. Cena fights up and gets two off a bulldog but charges into an elbow in the corner. Now a Randy Savage chant starts up and Orton stops for a second before kicking Cena even more.

The fans chant for Bryan as the Wyatts destroy Cena even more.

Tribute video to the recently passed away Mae Young.

We get some classic Rumble promos.

The Usos are cool with having to fight each other.

Batista just says exactly.

Ryback says there are 29 superstars and one Human Wrecking Ball.

Mysterio will shock the world again.

The expert panel makes their picks. Duggan likes Ziggler, Shawn goes with Shield or Punk and Flair takes Batista.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Punk at #1 (as ordered by Kane) and Seth Rollins at #2. Punk takes him into the corner to start for some shoulders to the ribs. Some kicks stagger Rollins but he comes back with a big kick of his own. A clothesline drops Rollins again but he pops back up with an enziguri. Both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3. The fans loudly chant for Punk as he DDTs Sandow and drops Rollins with a neckbreaker at the same time.

Kevin Nash makes a required return at #14. He eliminates Swagger with ease and goes after Ambrose and Rollins. Punk has Ziggler dangling but Dolph gets his feet back in. Roman Reigns completes the Shield at #15, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Goldust, Ambrose, Ziggler, Nash and Reigns. Roman cleans house with punches and spears before launching Kofi out.

Ziggler puts Roman down with a DDT but eats a spear to cut him in half. Reigns throws Ziggler out with ease and the fans suddenly hate him. Nash gets the same treatment as Reigns now has three eliminations in less than two minutes. Great Khali is in at #16 and goes after the Shield but gets tossed by Reigns. Goldust eliminates Cody to make up for the last two years but Reigns gets rid of Goldust a second later. That leaves the Shield alone with Punk but Sheamus returns after being out six months with an injury at #17.

El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito. Of course the bull cleans house until Punk stands up. Punk grabs him by the head but takes a headscissors, only to have Fandango run Torito over. The referee checks on Punk as Torito dropkicks Fandango out. Reigns catches Torito with ease and dumps him out for his sixth elimination. Punk gets back up as Cesaro is in at #21. He immediately starts swinging Miz but Shield breaks up a Swing attempt on Punk. Instead Rollins gets swung a ridiculous THIRTY TIMES. Luke Harper is in at #22 as Reigns spears Cesaro down.

Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23. The brawling slows down a bit now and JBL is in at #24. Cole: “The JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble.” Good grief. JBL wears his full suit into the ring but asks Cole to go get his jacket, allowing Reigns to dump him out. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Erick Rowan is in at #25 as JBL tries to talk about ANYTHING but being in the Rumble. Rowan kicks Miz out to clear things up a bit but everything slows back down again.

Harper tosses Jey Uso but the Wyatts turn around to see the Shield. Ryback is in at #26 and goes right for Cesaro as the fans chant Goldberg. Alberto Del Rio gets lucky #27 and things slow down yet again. Batista is in at #28 and the fans just rip him apart. He quickly dumps Rowan and has a staredown with Ryback before dumping him as well. Del Rio, the man who has been going after Batista since he returned, superkicks him down but gets lifted into the air and dumped with ease.

Batista is booed out of the building as we see a highlight package ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Original: C

Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Original:A

Redo: A

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original:B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original:B

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:A

Redo: D+

Hokey smoke that’s quite the drop.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/01/26/royal-rumble-2014-the-night-the-crowd-died/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 23, 2018
Location: Capitol One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the night after the Monday Night Raw 25^th Anniversary so now we need to bring things back down to earth a bit. This time around though it’s also the go home show for the Royal Rumble and we need to get things ready. There’s also the issue of Enzo Amore, who Daniel Bryan will address for some reason. Let’s get to it.

Here are Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to open things up. They introduce each other as the future co-WWE Champions before Owens talks about being in a handicap match a few weeks back. There’s no way that AJ can win a 2-1 match because they couldn’t win a 3-2 match because they’re already better than AJ.

This brings out AJ to say there’s no way that’s going to happen and if the two of them could shut their YEP holes for awhile, reality would set in. Sami says he knew that AJ would be out here with his macho act and brings up a clip from a few weeks back. Three weeks ago AJ asked for the handicap match and Owens accuses him of trying to back out of the match.

The next clip is AJ saying he would fight both of them in the same night. Owens suggests that AJ fight the two of them in a row tonight. This brings out Bryan to imply that the matches are about to be made but AJ doesn’t know whose side Bryan is on. AJ makes the matches official instead.

I know we’re coming up on Sunday’s title match, but my goodness they need to get somewhere with this story. You can only tease Bryan being in cahoots with Sami and Owens for so long before you need to actually go somewhere with it. They were nice enough to give AJ and his challengers some actual mic time here but they REALLY need some advancement in this story already. I’m very tired of having Bryan and/or Shane arguing with each other and using these guys as pawns and it needs to change. Oh and what’s up with people working multiple matches a night? This is two weeks in a row now.

Bryan and Shane are in their office with Shane talking down to Bryan about his choice. Daniel asks if Shane believes AJ can take care of himself but Shane says AJ isn’t the one he’s questioning.

Jey Uso vs. Chad Gable

Gable goes for a single leg to start and takes Jey into the corner before putting him on the ground without much effort. Back up and Jey sends him outside and we take an early break. Back with Gable getting two off a northern lights suplex but missing the moonsault. Jey sends him outside and a suicide dive drops Chad again. Gable charges into a Samoan drop but the running Umaga Attack is blocked. Instead Gable Liger Kicks him and grabs Rolling Chaos Theory for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: D+. This didn’t go very far but to be fair it’s not like it was supposed to be anything of note. They were going with the standard singles win to set up a tag match which has worked before and it’ll work again almost any time they try it. I’m not sold on a title change but just having them give us something interesting on Sunday is a good idea.

Shinsuke Nakamura’s strategy for winning the Rumble: knee them all in the face. Baron Corbin comes in to say Nakamura is all hype and nothing to show for it. He doesn’t care about the fans and asks what Nakamura has done. Shinsuke says he’ll do something on Sunday and offers a rumble tonight. I know Nakamura is becoming one of the favorites to win the Rumble but I still don’t buy it. There’s not much to build off of with him and it would seem to come out of nowhere. That’s been the case before but I’m not buying it here.

Tye Dillinger, still using the handheld camera style, enters the Rumble. He can’t do the Perfect Ten because he only has one hand so it’s two fives instead.

Naomi vs. Liv Morgan

They fight over a backslide to start until Naomi kicks her in the face. Liv is right back with a pull into the middle buckle, followed by a cross arm chinlock. Cue Natalya, Carmella and Lana for a distraction, allowing Naomi to grab a sunset flip for the pin at 2:39.

The Riott Squad comes in to beat Naomi down but Becky Lynch makes the save. It turns into the mini Rumble with Naomi and Natalya standing tall. Becky throws Naomi to the apron for a staredown but here’s Charlotte to say good luck to everyone, especially the winner. That’s how a champion should talk to a bunch of challengers.

Miz and Asuka are ready to win the Mixed Match Challenge.

Carmella and Big E. are ready to win as well, but first: pancakes.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin

Nakamura drives him to the ropes for the arm swing into COME ON, with Corbin warning him not to do it. Good Vibrations sends Corbin outside with Nakamura giving chase, only to get posted. Serves him right for not listening to Corbin’s request. Back from a break with Corbin holding a chinlock but Nakamura fights up and starts striking away. A running kick to the head and the running knee in the corner give Nakamura two.

Kinshasa is countered into Deep Six for a pretty hot two and Nakamura is in trouble. Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes into the clothesline turns Nakamura inside out for two more. A cross armbreaker out of nowhere has Corbin in trouble but Nakamura switches to a kick to the head. Kinshasa is loaded up but RKO OUT OF NOWHERE plants Nakamura as Randy Orton runs in for the DQ at 12:26. Well done there as they actually surprised me with the run in.

Rating: B. This was starting to cook and the run-in finish was perfect, especially as a way to keep both guys solid going into Sunday. Having Orton run in for the DQ made perfect sense and reminds us that he’s in there too. It takes some time to warm Nakamura up but once he gets going, he’s as entertaining as anyone on the show. That was starting to be the case here and the match was starting to rock.

Post match Corbin takes an RKO of his own.

We look at the media coverage of last night’s show.

Video on last night’s show.

New Day/Bobby Roode vs. Rusev Day/Jinder Mahal

Big E. is the odd man out here and there’s only one Singh Brother thanks to an ankle injury last week. Joined in progress with Rusev holding Kofi in a bearhug and hitting a running shoulder into the corner. English misses a charge though and it’s Roode coming in to clean house. The Blockbuster drops English and a spinebuster does the same to Jinder. Rusev comes in and kicks Roode into a rollup for two but it’s Kofi diving in to put English on the floor. Kofi’s dive into the trust fall takes the other two down, leaving English to get caught with another spinebuster. Woods’ top rope elbow is good for the pin at 2:38 shown.

Royal Rumble rundown.

AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title but hang on a minute. Shane comes out to say Sami can’t be at ringside, just like Owens can’t be at ringside for the next match. If either of them interfere, they’re out of the title match and fired. The bickering continues into the break and we’re back for the opening bell (thank you). AJ scores with a dropkick but gets his head clotheslined off. That goes nowhere and it’s a Calf Crusher to make Owens tap out immediately at 1:08, likely to save himself for Sunday.

Sami runs in to beat on AJ to break the hold, which doesn’t count as breaking Shane’s rules because we’re between matches. AJ gets beaten down in the corner as Kevin limps off. The stomping continues as we’re still waiting on the opening bell. A whip sends AJ into the steps as the bosses are watching in the back.

Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

Non-title again with AJ saying he’s ready to go. Sami charges at him again as Owens is still at ringside due to not being able to walk to the back. The stomping continues and we hit the chinlock for a bit as a stretcher is brought out for Owens. AJ fights back and hits his running seated forearm to get a breather. Sami gets sent outside for a slingshot forearm but AJ goes after Owens instead as we take a break.

Back with Sami hammering away even more and grabbing another chinlock. AJ snaps off a super hurricanrana to get a breather as we see the bosses watching in the back for the third time. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two and the Helluva Kick is blocked with a raised boot. The Pele scores on Sami for two but Sami grabs a Michinoku Driver for two. Frustration is setting in as he takes AJ to the top, only to get dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle.

AJ takes him outside where Owens is STILL being loaded onto the stretcher. That’s enough for Styles as he slides into a knee to Sami’s face and turns the stretcher over. Back in and the Helluva Kick connects followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb…..WHICH GETS THE PIN AT 15:44????? I’ve been watching Sami since his WWE run started and I don’t ever remember that getting a pin. I was actually surprised when that worked.

Rating: B-. I’m still trying to get over that finish as the Blue Thunder Bomb winning is so unthinkable. This was similar to Gable vs. Uso earlier in the night where you build some drama with the idea that the underdog has a chance. I don’t think AJ is going to lose the title but it’s nice to try to get something set up.

Owens and Zayn pose over AJ to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Bickering bosses aside, it was nice to have Smackdown doing something good for a change. They did a solid job of setting up some stuff for the Rumble and that’s what was needed after last night. They added four more names to the Rumble and made me more interested than I was coming into the show. Good night here, especially with all of the previous weeks of mess.

Results

Chad Gable b. Jey Uso – Rolling Chaos Theory

Naomi b. Liv Morgan – Sunset flip

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Baron Corbin via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

New Day/Bobby Roode b. Rusev Day/Jinder Mahal – Top rope elbow to English

AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Calf Crusher

Sami Zayn b. AJ Styles – Blue Thunder Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

The opening video is exactly what you would expect.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

As they come back in, Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker for two and hits an elbow to the chest. Off to a chinlock as Dolph stays on the neck. The fans cheer for Edge of course and he fights up, only to get caught in a middle rope sunset flip. Edge comes back with a slingshot into the buckle and now Dolph is in trouble. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Edge but Dolph hits another neckbreaker for two of his own.

The champion goes up but has to fight out of a superplex. Ziggler gets knocked down and hit by a top rope cross body, only for Ziggler to roll through for two. Now the fans start cheering for Ziggler as he gets two off a dropkick. The Zig Zag misses and Edge busts out the Edgecator of all things. Dolph grabs the rope so Edge dives at him on said ropes, only to clothesline himself on them.

The Fameasser gets two and both guys are down again. A big boot puts Ziggler down for about the seventh time and Edge gets into spear position. Like an idiot, Vickie reminds him of this, allowing Dolph to catch Edge in the sleeper. Edge rolls out of it and hits the Impaler for two as Vickie pulls the referee out of the ring. Vickie slaps Edge but the champion dodges a charging Dolph into a rollup for two.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz has Riley with him here. Orton pounds away to start as Cole is already on his knees to suck Miz off. The champ is knocked out to the floor and gets sent into the barricades a few time. Back in and Orton kicks him in the face before stomping away a bit. Cole is already on one of his rants about how noble Miz is in comparison to Edge. Orton chokes on the ropes a bit as Cole says that Orton should have stated in advance that he wanted to brawl.

Dashing Cody Rhodes will not be here tonight because of his shattered face. This would lead to Dr. Cody Doom which was pretty awesome and then wound up being wasted.

Fans say who they think is going to win the Rumble.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Layla vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Nattie is defending as I said and this is one fall to a finish. Laycool goes after both other chicks to start and Eve gets double teamed. Natalya comes back with a slingshot to send Layla into Michelle as Matt actually tries to analyze this match. We get down to Laycool squaring off but before they do anything, Eve and Nattie come back in.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Mania

Royal Rumble

They speed things up to start and Bryan fires off some kicks to the ribs. Striker talks about how the internet loves this match as Bryan is sent to the apron. The dueling chants begin and Bryan misses a dropkick in the corner. Justin Gabriel is #3 and immediately goes after Punk. Bryan clotheslines CM down and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to dump Justin out.

Zack Ryder, still a heel, is #4. He immediately takes Bryan down and hits the Broski Boot to both guys. Bryan launches Ryder into the air for a Rough Ryder into Punk, only to get dumped to the floor by Daniel. Back to Punk vs. Bryan until William Regal is #5. He starts busting out the knees to the face and some suplexes before hitting the knee trembler to Punk. The student and the teacher (Bryan and Regal) slug it out before Punk kicks the teacher in the head. Bryan kicks Punk in the head for kicking Regal in the head and only Daniel is left standing.

Ted DiBiase is #6 along with Maryse. Bryan rips off kicks to Regal before trying to dump Ted out. John Morrison is #7 to a BIG pop. He comes in (after slipping) with a slingshot kick to Regal and the Flying Chuck to Punk. A C4 takes Bryan down but DiBiase dumps Morrison to the apron. As Regal is eliminated, we get at the time the best Rumble save ever, as Morrison is knocked from the apron but catches himself on the barricade. His feet never touch as he pulls himself up to the barricade, tightrope walks down to the steps, jumps to said steps, kicks Regal in the head, and gets back in. That blew my mind live.

Chavo takes Harris down with a middle rope missile dropkick and Mark Henry is #11. For some reason Chavo dives on him and is immediately dumped out. Yoshi is sent out as well as JTG is #12. Michael McGillicutty is #13 and he takes out JTG almost immediately before teaming up with Harris to dump DiBiase. Christ Masters is #14 and puts Punk to the apron with the Masterlock unti McGillicutty makes the save. Masters and Bryan slug it out until Otunga is #15, giving Punk and the Nexus four members.

Cena pounds away and escapes the GTS before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hornswoggle is #23 and is immediately kicked down by Punk. Atta boy CM! Punk loads up the GTS but Cena escapes and this the AA to toss Punk out. In next is Tyson Kidd at #24 and he gets caught between Cena and Horny. The Swogg busts out a headscissors before Cena hits the AA. In a decent visual, Horny hits an AA of his own allowing for the elimination by Cena.

Ricardo is literally on the floor screaming Del Rio to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The worst and only bad match was the Divas and you have looks in that one so how can this be anything below great? 2011 was the start of the good period for WWE and they kicked it off with a bang with a great Rumble here. This is an excellent show and well worth checking out. Good stuff here.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/30/royal-rumble-2011-his-name-is-alberto-del-rio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6