Bash at the Beach 1999
Date: July 11, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attendance: 13,624
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re going in a new direction at this point in WCW as the promotion has gone from really boring to freaking insane in the course of a few weeks. A good chunk of this show was booked within the last few weeks and knowing the stories isn’t likely going to help me get through it. Let’s get to it.

I’ve actually seen this show far more often than I should as I found it at a Blockbuster for $2 when I was about thirteen. It took many years to suppress those memories but here we go again.

The opening video is a wordless montage about the four men in the main event. I mean, if there’s one story that doesn’t need a verbal explanation, it’s one about Savage and Sid trying to kill Nash and then the heroic champion kidnapping and potentially raping Gorgeous George, causing Savage to throw her out of their dressing room with a side plot of Sting potentially driving the Hummer that nearly killed Nash and then Nash changing the rules of the tag match so that anyone, including his partner, can pin him for the title. Also for some reason they air the video then show it about five more times as a very fast speed.

Tony says the tag match tonight started as a tag match. It was once going to be Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match, but it’s now Sting/Nash vs. Savage/Sid in a tag team match. No that’s not a misprint.

After those words of wisdom, Schiavone explains the junkyard match and the boxing match before throwing it to Gene for a Hotline ad.

Mike Tenay is at the junkyard, which he knows about because his sources told him where to go. Apparently there’s going to be a ring of cars with a bunch of obstacles to get around and the first person to jump over a fence and escape wins. This company is rapidly becoming more of a parody of wrestling than an actual wrestling promotion.

Video on the Cat vs. Disco Inferno. Cat had a kickboxing match with Jerry Flynn and lost via DQ so Flynn took him down in a brawl after the match. He and Disco had a dance off a week earlier, making the kickboxing stuff completely pointless.

Disco Inferno vs. The Cat

The original stipulation was the loser could never dance again but that has since been dropped. The lawyers must be working overtime as the match was announced three days ago and the stipulation was never mentioned on Thunder. Miller rants before the match and wants another dance contest before we get going. He demands that the people all vote for him or else he’ll beat them all up. Tony explains that he’ll lose because he threatened the fans because WCW thinks we’re rather thick headed. Disco dances for about two seconds before Cat goes after him and we’re ready to go.

Inferno starts like a kitchen of fire (not enough for a whole house) and sends Miller sliding out to the floor. Back in and Cat nails a few kicks, so Disco just tackles him to the mat and hammers away. Some atomic drops from Disco set up some miscommunication on what looked to be his swinging neckbreaker.

Cat comes back with a kick to the head and walks around as Sonny gets in a few shots of his own. Those are as effective as you would expect since Sonny, a legitimately accomplished karate fighter, is a manager and therefore incapable of hurting anyone. Back in and Disco grabs a quick sunset flip for two but gets his head kicked off again.

Another kick misses though and Disco legsweeps him down, setting up a middle rope elbow for two. Cat rakes the eyes and puts on the shoe, only to have Disco take it away and blast him in the face. Sonny’s distraction makes it only a two count though, allowing Cat to put the shoe back on and kick Disco for about the fifth time for the pin.

Rating: D. This really was the best thing they could think of to start a show? It’s really hard to care about a match with no build, no value and nothing beyond basic moves. The fact that it had Ernest Miller in there made things even less interesting. It’s not even a horrible match or anything, but there’s just no reason to care about something like that.

Judge Mills Lane won’t put up with any garbage tonight and will chase Bagwell or Piper if need be.

We recap the TV Title match. The video starts with Van Hammer surviving against Disco Inferno because the referee was down and a handful of tights. Then Flair saved Hammer from getting put through a table by banning hardcore matches, allowing Hammer to hit Hugh Morrus with a table and drive him through it. Somehow that earned him a TV Title shot here.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

Keep in mind that there really isn’t a face in this match as there’s no reason to like either guy. Steiner comes out first for no apparent reason. They trade hard shots to the face to start and Steiner is knocked out to the floor. Steiner goes into his new standard of just driving someone down to the mat and ripping at their face a lot. Back up and Rick hammers away before taking Hammer outside to send him into the barricade.

Rick hits a horrible looking DDT on the exposed concrete and covers on the floor to continue getting on my nerves. Back in and Hammer hits him low, only to have Rick punch him in the face to take over again. They head outside one more time with Hammer nailing him in the head with a chair before taking him back inside for the Alabama Slam for two. Steiner bites him between the legs, punts him in the same spot (referee just watches him) and hits the Steiner Bulldog to retain.

Rating: F. Rick Steiner has reached the point where he’s an embarrassment. Between never selling anything from a chair shot to a low blow, there’s just nothing Hammer (who isn’t the guy you want carrying a bag of groceries, let alone a PPV title match) can do. What WCW saw in him other than name recognition I’ll never know, but if someone thinks he’s skilled in the ring, they have no business being in charge of a wrestling company.

We get an overhead view of the junkyard, which really just looks like a parking lot with a bunch of cars stacked up in a circle. The winner gets a trophy but Tenay can’t answer who is going to be in the match because it’s unsanctioned.

We recap David Flair being named US Champion, meaning we just see the segment again. Again, weren’t the Flairs fighting months ago about David siding with Torrie and having his father hold him down? Now David has ten women around him (including Torrie) and his dad made him US Title. That’s a big jump in the span of five months.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. David Flair

David is defending of course and comes out with Torrie, in a very pushed up tied off top, shirt that might be nine inches long, and a black cowboy hat. Ric, Arn and Asya are here too but Johnny Boone is refereeing. Tony says David hasn’t been impressive in all of his title defenses. You know, all one of them.

Dean of course throws him down with ease and stomps away in the corner before planting David with a suplex. Ric comes in but gets decked as Dean puts on the Cloverleaf. Anderson nails the referee with a spinebuster, allowing Robinson to take over as referee. Dean Cloverleafs Asya but Ric nails him with the US Title to give David the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it this was just long enough to grade. As I said in the Nitro review, I get the idea they’re going for here, but wasn’t there another scrub you could put in there instead of Malenko? I know Dean isn’t going to be headlining a PPV anytime soon, but he’s the kind of guy that should actually be the US Champion. This kind of story is good in the right circumstances, but WCW isn’t in a place where they can turn yet another title into a joke and keep beating their midcard guys into the ground, even in a match that doesn’t end anywhere near clean.

Long recap of the Rednecks vs. the No Limit Soldiers, complete with the full I Hate Rap video. Barry Windham is such a talented drummer that he just scares the drums into playing themselves because he certainly isn’t hitting them. This includes a lot of shouting HOOTY HOO, which amazingly enough didn’t get the rappers over. Master P. is long gone, apparently saying that there weren’t enough of “his people” in the audience for the night the angle took off. That would be in P.’s hometown in New Orleans if you aren’t big on guys who shout like owls.

No Limit Solders vs. West Texas Rednecks

Swoll, B.A., Rey Mysterio Jr., Konnan

Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, Bobby Duncum Jr.

Elimination tag, which I believe is the first explanation of the rules for this match. The best part of this: the camera comes back to the arena early, showing ring announcer David Penzer counting the fans down on when to cheer. Tony fails at covering for him by saying that he was saying hi to his five family members in the audience. The levels that this company falls to when trying to cover their mistakes is astounding. Heenan redeems things a bit by saying that the Soldiers’ problem could be solved if they just put a light in their closets. Rey and Konnan make sure to shout a lot before we’re ready to go.

Mysterio and Barry get things going with the Cruiserweight Champion getting hammered down in the corner. Rey comes back by sending Barry into the corner and getting two off a split legged moonsault. Off to Hennig vs. B.A. with Armstrong nailing a dropkick before trying to talk some trash. Thankfully that goes nowhere as it’s off to Duncum before the big Swoll comes in with a bad looking clothesline. Swoll hammers on Duncum but Kendall comes in with a cheap shot to take over.

Kendall misses a charge into the post so Mysterio comes in without a tag. Naturally the referee is fine with this. Kendall tries to beat the rules into him but Rey nails him with a springboard seated senton to knock both Kendall and Duncum out to the floor. Back in and it’s Konnan vs. Hennig before Rey hits another springboard seated senton on Hennig. Duncum and Hennig both get hammered in the corner until it’s Swoll ducking Duncum’s cross body for two in an awkward sequence. Rey adds a springboard legdrop and Swoll pins Bobby.

The other Soldiers, Chase and 4×4 (who makes Ezekiel Jackson look like David Flair) beat up Duncum in the aisle because they’re heroes. Barry and Konnan hammer away on each other until Curt comes back in for a double clothesline. Off to BA as the Rednecks keep control with Curt nailing a quick HennigPlex to make it 3-3. Mysterio tried to dive in for a save but came in too fast and basically started crawling in slow motion for no logical reason.

So it’s Konnan getting beaten down now with Kendall hitting a bad looking lariat and a slightly better looking slam. He misses a middle rope knee though and Konnan hits a rolling lariat of his own (called a DDT by Tony), followed by the facebuster for two. Rey dropkicks Kendall into a horrible “rollup” for the pin on Kendall. Barry DDTs Konnan for two as 4×4 and Chase beat up Kendall.

Everything breaks down with Barry going to the floor…..and being carried off by Chase with Konnan following. For some reason this isn’t a DQ and both guys are counted out. So it’s Hennig vs. Swoll/Mysterio. Swoll comes in for some incredibly sloppy offense as Barry comes back in. Curt tries to bail but 4×4 stops him in his tracks. Back in and Swoll hits his stupid palm strike to the chest before bringing in Rey for the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant big splash off the shoulders for the pin.

Rating: C-. Swoll is horrible. Like he’s really, really bad, to the point that he can barely throw punches correctly. I understand that he was really new at this, but as WCW should have learned over the years, that’s why he shouldn’t be on a major show like this. The Soldiers continue to act entirely like heels here, just like they have for most of this feud.

The announcers chat for a bit about the rest of the card.

We get Hak’s challenge for the junkyard match.

Junkyard Invitational

Ciclope, Jerry Flynn, Johnny Grunge, Hak, Horace Hogan, Brian Knobs, Hugh Morrus, La Parka, Lord Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Rocco Rock, Silver King, Squire David Taylor, and Mikey Whipwreck

They’re in a junkyard, first person to climb over a fence wins. The place is huge so there’s almost no way to see more than four or five people at once unless you go to a helicopter shots. Public Enemy (a surprise) flips a car over as I’m only going to be able to call big spots. There are barrels of fire everywhere. Jerry Flynn puts an electrical cord into an engine to make sparks fly out. Knobbs dives off one car for an elbow onto King on the roof of a van.

Finlay hits la Parka in the ribs with a bumper as Dave Taylor hits Morrus in the head with a trashcan lid. The annoyed look on Morrus’ face as he just keeps walking is rather amusing. The camera shots are only lasting about ten seconds at most so it’s hard to call much of anything. Jimmy Hart is running around in a yellow shirt and a hard hat. Rocco Rock is thrown into the window of a van. Morrus dives off a car with an elbow onto Rock because they’re already repeating spots.

I think Ciclope dives off a car onto about six guys before they start throwing things at each other instead of doing anything coherent. Finlay goes Captain America by blocking a punch with a trashcan lid and hitting Horace in the face with it. Brian wraps Taylor in a tire as we’re waiting on someone to try and win. Rocco and Horace make the first trip over with Horace making a last second save to keep Rock from escaping.

Silver King is bleeding from the arm as this just keeps going. Taylor has to dance out of a tire before Knobs and Hak put Finlay in a car. A forklift pops up and takes the car over to the crusher but Finlay gets out to prevent death. Of course the forklift hasn’t been seen all match until this point. Then another car blows up and Finlay climbs over the fence to win.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling, and quite frankly I’m really not sure what it was. Why in the world WCW thought this was a good idea is beyond me and I’m sure the live audience is going to be THRILLED after having sat there for fifteen minutes waiting on this to end. On top of all that, Finlay would hurt his leg soon after this at a house show (in a hardcore match of course) and be out for months, making the whole thing worthless. I can’t imagine he’s the only one to get injured in this mess either.

We recap the Triad vs. Saturn/Benoit. They fought each other, then they fought each other some more, then they had some singles matches, now they’re having a title match. For some reason we get a bunch of clips of the eight man tag from Nitro which doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, other than a boxing match. They’re trying to tie this into the old vs. new feud, which doesn’t even seem to be a thing anymore.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Jersey Triad

The Triad is defending. Kanyon starts on the floor as Saturn and Page slug it out in the middle. It’s Saturn taking over with a bunch of right hands before knocking Bigelow and Kanyon off the apron for good measure. Off to Bigelow vs. Benoit as the announcers call Benoit an uncrowned champion. Hasn’t he been a three time champion by this point? Bam Bam gets dropped into the middle buckle and sent out to the floor for a meeting with his partners.

Back in and Kanyon fights out of a suplex from Saturn and knees him down against the ropes. He grabs the referee to block a German attempt, only to have Benoit chop him into a t-bone. Back to Benoit for the decapitation clothesline followed by a Liontamer (which he used before Jericho). A double clothesline drops Kanyon for two more as the challengers stay in full control. Benoit stomps Kanyon down in the corner and starts in on his leg.

Saturn drops a top rope legdrop for two but Page comes in without a tag to take over, sending Saturn to the floor for a triple team to take over. Bigelow comes in for a big suplex and a falling headbutt for two. Back to Kanyon after Bigelow uses Flair’s “how much time is left” trick. Kanyon drops a leg for one of the slowest two counts I can remember in a long time. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd so Bigelow puts Saturn in a chinlock.

Kanyon comes back in but gets crotched on the top, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Saturn. Benoit gets the hot tag and goes after Bigelow, only to have Page take him down with a top rope clothesline. Page is VERY pleased with this move, running out to the floor and celebrating like a mad man, even climbing onto the barricade. Back in and Page gets two off an elbow drop before it’s off to Bigelow for some fat man offense.

Page comes in again and runs Benoit over for two with Saturn making the save. We get a front chancery from Page but Benoit drives him into the corner for the hot tag, which of course the referee doesn’t see. That wicked sitout powerbomb from Page is good for two. Benoit finally suplexes Kanyon down but Bigelow breaks up a hot tag attempt. Bam Bam misses the moonsault though and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Saturn (which the camera doesn’t catch).

Saturn cleans house with suplexes and clotheslines Page and Kanyon out to the floor. Everything breaks down again and Saturn hits a top rope splash, followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit but Page comes in off the top for the save. Saturn loads Page up with the Death Valley Driver but Kanyon throws powder in his face, only to have it get in Page’s eyes too, causing him to Diamond Cut Kanyon. Bigelow makes the save but Benoit Germans Page for a VERY close two. Page throws in a metal trashcan as the referee gets bumped. He hits Kanyon by mistake but Bigelow comes in for a 3D on Saturn to retain the titles.

Rating: B+. Give that match a less messy finish and it’s a classic. There was a lot of good stuff in here and the majority of it was due to how much time they were given. Everyone was allowed to get in there for awhile and the fans bought into the idea of two guys trying to fight against the big cheating team. They gave it a great effort and the whole thing just worked. Really good stuff here, though not enough to save this disaster of the show.

Clip of Judge Mills Lane agreeing to referee the boxing match. That’s all of the recap because there was no reason for this to be a boxing match other than Piper barely being a wrestler anymore.

Roddy Piper vs. Buff Bagwell

Big time boxing referee Mills Lane is referee here to try to make people care. In case you’ve never seen him, just picture Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future. Piper has Flair in his corner. Buff’s gloves are actually labeled “Buff’s Left” and “Buff’s Right”. Bagwell sees Flair in Piper’s corner, so he has someone to have his back: HIS MOM, “Judge Judy” Bagwell. And I give up. Seriously it was bad enough when this was boxing instead of Piper just doing a freaking job for Bagwell like he should be doing, but now BUFF’S MOM IS HERE???

Flair gives Bagwell a chance to leave but Buff reminds him of the pin off the Blockbuster a few weeks back. You know, when Flair put Bagwell over in the middle of the ring in the whole point of this entire story. The rounds are two minutes long here. Piper sticks his chin out to start until Buff hammers him into the corner. The fans are dead at this point if you couldn’t guess. Bagwell tees off on Piper (well, as much as he can BECAUSE HE ISN’T A BOXER) to end the first round.

Flair sprays something on Piper’s gloves in between the rounds as this continues to fall apart. Piper hits a few jabs to the face and Bagwell’s eyes are burning. He gets punched down in the corner as Judy brings over a sponge to try and clean Buff’s eyes out. Back up and Piper wildly swings until Buff knocks Piper down in the corner in an identical sequence from Piper vs. Mr. T. thirteen years ago, because that’s what this is supposed to be….a tribute to I suppose? Piper gets up as round two ends.

I’m going to pause for a second here and give you a bit of context to what is about to happen. Fifteen months ago, WCW was still in control of the Monday Night Wars and hadn’t lost a night in the ratings in nearly two years. Their last win was about nine months before this. Yeah they were in trouble, but it’s not like they were so desperate for something good to happen that they had to go insane. A few weeks back, Buff Bagwell hit his finishing move and pinned Ric Flair in the middle of the ring on Nitro, which should have been the start of a huge push for him. After all that, I give you the third round of this boxing match.

Piper jumps Bagwell in the corner and attacks Bagwell early, so his mother Judy gets in the ring and bites Piper’s ear. She then dumps the spit bucket over Piper’s head as Buff punches Flair off the apron. Buff goes up and hits the Blockbuster on Piper as Judy holds Flair on the apron, allowing Buff to pin Piper for the win. Judy chases the President of WCW around the ring after the match.

Rating: G. As in below an F and for GOOD FREAKING GRIEF THEY REALLY COULDN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS??? Piper wasn’t capable of doing a five minute match and doing a job for Bagwell? Does WCW really think that it’s important enough to protect him from taking a fall in a wrestling match that they’ll let him take a fall in a boxing match? Read that sentence back and see how insane it sounds. Now throw in Judy Bagwell and more hijinks than an episode of Looney Tunes and you see what happened to WCW in the summer of 1999.

We recap Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid. Savage being a woman beater and Nash potentially raping George is glossed over. On the other hand, the Fake Sting attacking Nash, causing Nash to go after Sting, even though the real Sting came out to beat up the Fake Sting, is left out with only the Fake Sting beating Nash down being shown. For some reason Nash wanted this to be a tag team match where anyone, including his partner, could pin him for the title. Again, this isn’t mentioned in the video. We’ll also ignore Nash saying he saw Sting driving the Hummer before we see that happening in the package.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Sting

Nash is defending in what is more like a handicap fatal fourway than a tag match if that makes sense. In theory Sting can only pin Nash for the title, meaning it’s basically one on one on two. Thankfully Tony mentions the whole Sting can pin Nash and the real Sting coming out during the entrances. Yes, we’ve reached the point where Tony Schiavone is having to cover for the production team’s goofs.

George (living up to the gorgeous moniker tonight) comes out in sunglasses but takes them off to reveal a black eye as she goes to stand in Nash’s corner. The reason for the black eye isn’t explained because that really wasn’t something that should have happened, nor is it even referenced by the announcers. Savage and Sting start but Randy sees George changing corners and freaks out. Sting uses the chance to deck Savage and the fight is slowly on.

Off to Sid to face Sting as Tony explains the rules, making this match even more confusing that it was in the first place. Sting quickly knocks Sid out to the floor but Nash isn’t interested in tagging. So in theory, if Nash doesn’t get pinned, he doesn’t lose the title? It’s not like we’ve ever gotten a clear answer to that, though to be fair I doubt WCW thought it that far through. Sid and Savage start double teaming Sting with the big man putting on a bad looking camel clutch.

Savage comes in and spits at the champ, but thankfully doesn’t hit his hair. Sting finally rolls away and makes the tag to Nash for all the usual offense. He has Savage in trouble but gives Sting a very hard tag to get out. Sting takes it outside and splashes the barricade before Savage takes him back inside for some choking. Tony points out that almost no one has tries to pin Nash yet, making the whole stipulation rather pointless.

Sid hooks one of the lamest chinlocks I’ve ever seen on Sting, who is nice enough to go down to the mat in a heap. Granted he might have fainted after hearing some of the nonsense they actually aired on this show. Sting fights up again and does the falling low blow spot, allowing for the hot tag off to Nash.

Everything breaks down and the girls come in, only to have Sting splash both of them plus Sid. Savage and Nash get splashed at the same time, allowing Sid to plant Sting with a chokeslam. George gets in and low blows Nash (SHOCK AND AWE, SHOCK AND AWE), setting up the big elbow from Savage for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. I wonder if they bothered to tell everyone else in the match about the whole Sting can pin Nash rule, because it was NEVER attempted and was a complete non factor. George’s face turn (can you even call it that?) lasted all of twelve minutes, meaning she’s picking the woman beater over the kidnapper and potential rapist. I can’t believe I just had to type that, so I’ll wrap it up by saying it’s a horrible match.

Overall Rating: F. The fact that a REALLY good twenty three minute Tag Team Title match is needed to bring this show up to a failure tells you all you need to know. This show had eight matches. One of them was a joke with David Flair needing an army to beat Malenko, one wasn’t wrestling because it was a big fight in a junkyard, and one was a boxing match. Two of the others were matches that belonged on Thunder at best, another one was a boring elimination tag, and one MADE NO FREAKING SENSE.

This show blew my mind in ways that I honestly didn’t think were possible. Just let some of this stuff sink in for a few minutes. Roddy Piper apparently can’t be trusted in a five minute match, we can’t have a DQ anymore because Rick Steiner wouldn’t be able to have a match break 10 seconds if we did, and we have to drop stipulations that are made less than three days before the match. WCW is dying before our eyes and it’s kind of amazing to see in a morbid way.

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Monday Nitro #195
Date: July 5, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 25,338
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re back in WCW’s home town now for the go home show for Bash at the Beach. At the moment there are only a few matches announced for Sunday but that’s better than we’ve been getting lately. The main story continues to be Nash stealing Gorgeous George and Savage being a psycho. Well that and the youth movement being crushed like a bug. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap of last week’s events and Savage accidentally taking Torrie back instead of George on Thunder.

The announcers do their welcome.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

There’s a raised logo, presumably for Megadeth later or some stupid WCW thing, on the ramp and Chavo falls down on his way to the ring. Nice job WCW. Juvy mocks Chavo’s history with Pepe to start and gets the fans fired up. A shoulder drops Chavo and Juvy gives us a pelvic thrust. Juvy hammers away in the corner but gets dropped throat first across the ropes. Chavo follows up but takes a Stunner to put him across the ropes as well.

An early Juvy Driver attempt sends Chavo bailing as the announcers hype up Megadeth and Bret’s appearance for the third time already. On the floor now with Chavo taking over off a dropkick. Back in and we get the Gory Stretch into a Gory Bomb but Chavo drops an elbow instead of covering.

Guerrero goes up for the “I’m going to jump straight down so I can land on your raised boots” spot before they go into a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Juvy scoring a German suplex for two. A slam looks to set up the 450 but Chavo pops up to crotch him. Something like a sitout brainbuster plants Juvy but Sid and Savage come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. The match was fun while it lasted but Sid and Savage are almost a guarantee to bust up matches like this on Nitro anymore. Chavo is still one of the best cruiserweights without being over the top with his high flying. Juvy is starting to be insane and it works well for him when he gets it right.

Sid, wearing the World Title belt, powerbombs Juvy to set up the big elbow. The big man grabs the mic and says they want George back and won’t be held responsible for their actions. Nash and Torrie (looking as good as she ever has in WCW, which covers a lot of ground) pop up on screen. Kevin wants his belt back and thinks he should just beat up Sid tonight, but he’s been worn out this week. They banter a bit until George comes in wearing a Nash shirt, asking if she just heard Randy.

DJ Ran.

Gene brings out Ric Flair who comes out with his son. The boss takes the mic and says that since Scott Steiner has been running around the world, it’s time we have a new US Champion. That new champion will be….David Flair, due to him beating Nash by countout last week. Little Naitch comes out with a bunch of women who are all over the new champ. This brings out Buff Bagwell as balloons fall from the ceiling. Short version: Bagwell vs. Flair for the title tonight.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Vampiro

Rick yells about beating Van Hammer this coming Sunday. The champ hammers on Vampiro like the mindless brawler he is before hitting a hard German suplex. Vampiro’s kicks go nowhere as he gets dropped with a Steiner Line. The Steiner Bulldog sets up that weird arm hold Rick has been using to end this quick.

Lenny and Lodi come through some doors with Lodi giving Lenny new tights. Lenny isn’t sure that they’ll fit but Lodi says he knows ever inch of him. The doors close to reveal the word “closet”. GET IT?

Video on Bret Hart leaving due to Owen passing away. The last shot is of an empty ring.

Here’s Bret for his first public comments in months. He’s been told he has all the time he wants so he’s going to try not to rush. Bret thanks the wrestling fans on behalf of the entire Hart Family for all the well wishes they received. WCW has given him a chance to collect himself and he appreciates that. Owen wasn’t your average wrestler and he was a great human being. Bret doesn’t think there’s anyone that can say a bad thing about him. They were the closest of all his brothers and never had a single argument.

Eric Bischoff has asked him what he wants to do but Bret isn’t sure where he wants to go with his life. The Hart Family has lived and died for wrestling and there really isn’t much left for him to accomplish. All these great athletes are retiring in 1999 and they all seem so happy. He’s afraid that his career will end in a tragedy but he just doesn’t know. Bret thanks all of his fans everywhere and all of the wrestlers he’s worked with over the years. He hopes he wasn’t too stiff and that’s about it.

Eddie Guerrero comes up to Doug Dillinger and shouts in Spanish. After switching to English, he says someone has stolen his wallet. It was a masked wrestler and Eddie wants them all lined up so he can pick out the culprit. I don’t see this ending well.

DJ Ran.

The Cat vs. Jerry Flynn

This is a kickboxing match because WCW is a stupid promotion. We have a round system with Round 1 consisting of a lot of circling and some light kicks. The fans boo this out of the building as the round ends with nothing to talk about. Round 2 starts with Cat going down to the mat and receiving a warning. Flynn tries a big kick and falls flat on his back because this is a joke. Back up and Cat hits some kicks to the ribs to knock Jerry down before a big shot to the head results in a DQ for hitting a downed opponent. Seriously, that’s the whole thing.

Flynn tackles Cat and they brawl some more. This was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever had to sit through.

Lodi vs. Van Hammer

Hammer jumps him from the start and knocks Lodi all over the place. Some jumping clotheslines and a big boot send Lodi out to the floor, where he steals Heenan’s water. Lodi is sent into the barricade but Lenny low bridges Hammer down to change things up a bit. Back in and Lodi actually busts out a hurricanrana, only to try again and get dropped onto the top rop. A superplex brings Lenny in and the cobra clutch slam ends Lodi. Total squash for the sake of unfunny comedy.

Dillinger tries to get all of the luchadors together for a show up but there are some communication barriers. Cops come in and clear things up as this is going to continue.

Gene brings out Roddy Piper because this show hasn’t gone low enough yet. Roddy agrees that rap is crap but wants to talk to Sting. Here’s a clearly fake Sting who is about an inch taller than Okerlund. Piper asks him about working with Savage but Fake Sting shakes his head no. Now Piper wants to see his real face but gets another no, earning Fake Sting a neckbreaker. Piper takes the mask off and we barely see the guy’s face.

Moving on to Sunday, Piper wants a boxing match against Buff Bagwell. Why a boxing match you ask? Well we really don’t get a reason for that but we’ve had bad kickboxing so why not bad regular boxing? If that’s not enough, JJ Dillon brings in Judge Mills Lane (a former TV judge and big time boxing referee) to referee Sunday’s fight “In California in Florida!” Lane’s words, not mine. I know this sounds stupid, but it’s not like Piper has wrestled a match in years anyway so why not just let him do nothing but punch?

Nitro Girls.

DJ Ran.

Rey Mysterio Jr./Konnan vs. Steven Regal/Fit Finlay

You know, for all the bad things that WCW did in 1999, they actually built up a nice tag division. Mysterio clarifies that HOOTY HOO is the call of the soldier. Apparently Regal and Finlay don’t approve of the soldiers and want to beat some peace into the rappers. Regal powerbombs Rey and catapults him into a clothesline from Finlay. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry as Rey is in early trouble.

The Europeans crank on a Mysterio leg each but the referee makes them break it up. Mysterio finally avoids a charge in the corner and makes the hot tag to Konnan to clean some house. Everything breaks down as Konnan does the usual, including throwing Rey into a Bronco Buster on Regal. Not that it matters as the West Texas Rednecks come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Finlay and Regal continue to work very well as foreign villains and they just look like they enjoy hurting people. The match was a way to have the Rednecks jump the soldiers and set up a match on Sunday. Who will be in that match hasn’t been announced yet but there are some combinations that could make for an interesting match.

US Title: David Flair vs. Buff Bagwell

David is defending in an angle that actually kind of works. Yeah he’s in over his head, but WCW acknowledging that he’s in over his head makes this a lot easier to sit through. Back when Erik Watts was thrown in over his head, they had to pretend he was good and it made things feel so stupid. At least here it’s making Ric look evil and corrupt and being played as an angle instead of reality.

Bagwell hammers away to start as you would expect, including planting David with a suplex. The champ finally hits a quick low blow to take over, only to run into an elbow and take the Blockbuster. Buff covers but Charles Robinson’s arm gives out. There’s a Figure Four on David but Ric and Arn come in. Buff beats them up too and puts the hold back on while small packaging Ric at the same time. Dean Malenko and Asya come in as well as this whole thing is a mess. Roddy runs out and nails Buff with something to give David the pin. Total mess but you had to expect that.

Time for Eddie to interrogate the luchadors. We have La Parka, Ciclope, Psychosis, Villano IV, a guy I don’t recognize, and Blitzkrieg. Everyone has to take their mask off but La Parka and Ciclope’s faces scare Eddie. He thinks Psychosis is a good looking guy. The guy I didn’t recognize is Cheetah Kid and apparently is Prince Iaukea under the mask. Blitzkrieg isn’t Hispanic and no one is happy with him. I’m assuming we’ll get more on this later.

The TV feed messes up and we have Hak and Chastity on a ladder. Hak was born in 1963 and started choking his doctor. He’s had to fight all his life and it’s all he knows how to do. Now he’s in WCW to get paid to fight. Hak lists off all the men he’s hurt and thinks there should be a junkyard hardcore invitational on Sunday because we can’t have hardcore matches in the arena anymore.

The rednecks come out and asks how many people here are good old boys, rednecks and people that just hate rap. They plays the song and that’s it.

Video on Savage and company.

Jersey Triad vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Benoit runs Kanyon over with a shoulder and snaps off the Rolling Germans before we go to an early break. Back with Saturn getting triple teamed but ducking a charging Page, sending Kanyon into his partner with a clothesline. Off to Benoit who cleans house with clotheslines and a dropkick for Bigelow. He heads up but Page crotches him down and stomps away in the corner before tagging out to Kanyon. A slingshot elbow gets two on Benoit and it’s back to Bigelow for a bearhug.

Benoit actually climbs up Bigelow into a sunset flip and avoids the big sitdown splash. A double tag brings in Saturn and Kanyon with Perry cleaning house as everything breaks down. Malenko tombstones Kanyon and avoids Bigelow’s top rope headbutt, setting up a top rope Saturn splash to Bigelow, followed by the Swan Dive for the pin.

Rating: C+. It didn’t have a ton of time but you knew these guys were going to have a good match if they were given more than eight seconds. They had to give the small guys a win to set up their Tag Team Title match on Sunday, even though I don’t think Malenko has anything for the pay per view.

And now, Megadeth performs Crush Em live. After five minutes of barely understandable lyrics, the band is booed out of the arena. The lights go out and Goldberg’s voice says I’M BACK! We see his silhouette and go to a commercial. I’ll give Megadeth’s performance this though: at least their drummer was making contact, unlike Barry Windham earlier.

WCW World Title: Sid vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending of course but Sid has the belt itself. Before the bell, Nash tells Savage to get rid of the girls if he ever wants to see Gorgeous George again. So it’s Nash vs. Sid for that In Your House main event the world was waiting for. They head into the corner for some elbows to the challenger’s jaw followed by a running clothesline. Sid bails to the floor but Savage runs in after about a minute. The referee doesn’t ring a bell though, leaving Nash to fight off both guys. Sid decks the referee to officially throw the thing out.

Nash fights them off until Fake Sting comes out to beat him down. Cue the real Sting for the real save but Nash powerbombs him, thinking it’s the Sting that attacked him. The champ goes up the aisle and says what’s left of George is in his dressing room. Savage runs to the back and finds Torrie with George.

He gets in George’s face, demanding to know if he touched her. Savage turns to Torrie and smacks her in the face. A screaming Torrie points out that George is wearing a Nash shirt so Savage rips it off her and throws her into a hallway (George: “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???”) as the camera cuts off REALLY fast to end the show. I know I say a lot of stuff on these shows are horrible, but this was bordering on hard to sit through.

Overall Rating: D. Leaving out the disturbing ending, this was a horrible show. We’ve reached the point where WCW has gone from boring to stupid with stuff like Mills Lane refereeing a boxing match between Bagwell and Piper, two different music performances, Lenny and Lodi beating their story into your head and what felt like a comedy sketch about kickboxing. They’re on the verge of running scared at this point, but somehow this is easier to sit through than the shows from a month and a half ago.

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Today we’re looking at one of the most common wrestling characters of all time: the evil cowboy with Ron Bass.

Bass got his start in 1975 but we’ll pick things up on June 16, 1979 (my mom’s birthday actually) in Memphis.

Ron Bass vs. Pat Hutchenson

This seems to be Pat’s debut. The much bigger Bass nails Pat in the face to start and plants him with a slam. Some forearms to the back set up a suplex and a running powerslam ends Pat. Total squash.

Same territory with a better opponent at some point in 1981.

Jerry Lawler vs. Ron Bass

There’s a bit of clipping on this one but it doesn’t seem too bad. Bass is Jimmy Hart’s latest fighter in the war with Lawler. Ron takes him into the corner to start but Jerry comes back with a right hand to knock Bass to the floor. More punching ensues and Ron goes outside again. Back in and Jerry drops an elbow drop for two as Jimmy makes a save. Hart says this is No DQ which clears up the question I was about to ask.

Bass knocks Lawler to the floor and rams him face first into a chair. He does the same with the announcers’ table before a chair to the back has Lawler in trouble. We’re clipped a bit to Bass bringing in the chair for another big shot to the ribs. A swinging neckbreaker gets two and an atomic drop gets the same on Jerry. More clipping to Lawler getting all fired up and the strap comes down. A bunch of right hands drop Bass and the middle rope punch is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your standard “let’s punch each other a lot” matches and there’s a limit to how good those matches can be. That being said, this is Jerry Lawler in Memphis. He could sit in the ring eating a sandwich and the fans would cheer him until the end of time. That’s quite the compliment to him and this was his old standard, though the clipping made it hard to keep track of.

Some of Bass’ biggest suggest was in Championship Wrestling From Florida. Here he is at some point in Winter of 1983.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Ron Bass

Bass is a face here and has a broken hand. He hammers on Sullivan with the cast to start and Sullivan bails to the floor. Back in and a kick to the jaw sends Kevin outside one more time before Ron cranks on an armbar. Sullivan fights back up and stomps away but dives into a right hand to the ribs. Bass sends him into the buckle a few times and nails the powerslam, only to have Angelo Mosca come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Another kick and punch match here but I liked the energy they had here. It wasn’t a good match or anything like that, but just the way the crowd was going kept things moving. Bass isn’t terrible as a face, which is really odd to see after all the years I’ve spent seeing him as the evil cowboy.

Off to Starrcade 1984 with Bass in the NWA.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

From the next year’s Starrcade.

Ron Bass vs. Black Bart

This is a Texas Bullrope match and if Bass wins, he gets a five minute bullrope match with JJ Dillon, his former manager and Bart’s current manager. You win by pinfall here. Bass immediately hits him in the head with the bell on the rope and Bart is in trouble. Bart is busted less than a minute into the match and Bass pounds him in the head with the bell over and over.

Bart tries to punch his way out of the corner and gets choked with the rope for his efforts. Bass pounds in more shots to the head as we have a recurring theme to this match. Bart finally gets in a bell shot of his own to bust Ron open, but after a few more he misses a charge and goes flying to the floor. Bass keeps pounding away with the bell on the floor, including with a shot off the apron. Back inside and you can insert your own NEEDS MORE COWBELL joke here.

Bass wraps the rope around Bart’s neck and pounds away as the match somehow gets even more repetitive. Both guys fall down as JJ, clad in a tuxedo t-shirt, screams at Bart to get up. Another bell shot sets up a crotching from Bass with the rope. A HARD bell shot to the head has Bart down yet again. Ron pounds on him on the mat but has to stop to yell at JJ, allowing Bart to get back up. The Black one misses a charge in the corner though and a middle rope bell shot from Bass is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t wild on this one. The big problem here is that it’s the same stuff over and over and over again, meaning it gets really dull after the first few minutes. Some of the bell shots looked great but when you have like thirty of then in an eight minute match, they kind of lose their effectiveness. Not terrible but it’s the epitome of a one idea match.

As a result of that win by Bass, we get this.

Ron Bass vs. JJ Dillon

This is a five minute bullrope match and JJ jumps Bass as the bell rings. JJ chokes away with his boot and hits Bass in the head with the bell. Then he hits Bass again with the bell. Now JJ mixes things up by hitting Bass in the head with the bell. They FINALLY do something else as JJ chokes him down with the rope, only for Bass to make a comeback and slug JJ down with the bell for a bit. A big shot to the head has Dillon down but the referee gets bumped. Bart comes back in and piledrives Bass, giving JJ the cheap pin.

Rating: F. What was the point of this again? To give Bass revenge? I guess so, but I don’t call a few shots to the head with a bell and then getting beaten up by the guy he just beat getting revenge. I’m assuming JJ dumped Bass recently for Bart, but that’s one of those things that the announcers didn’t feel was important enough to explain to us.

Bass would head to the WWF as a much more standard evil cowboy. We’ll start on Superstars, January 24, 1987.

Gladiator/Jimmy Jack Funk/Ron Bass vs. Dan Spivey/Mike Rotundo/Blackjack Mulligan

Well that’s a team for you. On an interesting note, Mulligan is the father of the man that Spivey replaced in the US Express: Barry Windham. Not sure if there’s a point to this or not but whatever. Jesse says his report on Andre and Hogan is coming next week on Piper’s Pit. You have no idea how awesome this sounds to me. Ron Bass doesn’t like Mulligan. Yeah this went nowhere thank goodness. This is mainly about Vince arguing with Ventura so it’s more or less awesome. I have no idea who the Gladiator is but Mulligan pins him.

From October 28, 1987.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Wrestling Challenge match here, which is the equivalent of Superstars today. I don’t recognize that commentator. One of them is Mike McGuirk (female announcer), one is Nick Bockwinkel and I don’t recognize the third. I think it’s current TNA boss Bruce Pritchard. We’ll go with that. Bass is a cowboy and gets caught with a top rope chop to send him to the floor.

Bockwinkel talks about whether or not top rope moves should be banned. Give me a break. McGuirk is talking about how handsome/good looking Steamboat is. Ok then. Bass takes over and hits a chop for two. Powerslam gets the same. Swinging neckbreaker gets countered and both guys are down. Steamboat counters a suplex into one of his own. They slug it out from their knees and then ram heads. Sleeper is countered by Bass and they go to the floor. They brawl to a double countout.

Rating: F. Horribly dull match here as both guys were in about -5th gear the whole time. Steamboat was coming back from the time off where his wife had a baby (and he lost the IC Title as a result) so maybe it was rust. This was awful though and probably the worst Steamboat match I’ve ever seen.

Bass was in the opening match at the first ever Survivor Series in 1987.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules

Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Here’s a match at a house show in Houston on December 10, 1987.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bass holds him off with a whip so the Dragon goes out and grabs a chair. Naturally Steamboat speeds things up and gets a quick sunset flip for two. The cat is skinned and Steamboat gets what we would call a rana for two. For some reason the cameraman wearing a Hulkamania shirt makes me chuckle. Bass takes over and gets a clothesline but walks into something like an enziguri (granted it hit the back but no one knew what it was supposed to be at this point anyway) to send Bass to the floor.

Back in and Steamboat grabs the arm to take the bigger man down. I know it’s basic but it’s about the smartest thing you can do so there’s a reason it’s that common. McGuirk is like Booker T as all she really says is an occasional move in the ring. Steamboat tries to speed this up again but walks into a hot shot to finally shift control to Bass. Piledriver gets two.

Bass hammers away with a knee drop (called Knee-monia by Doherty and making me want to take a knee to the head so I hopefully forget that joke) to the head and various other basic offense for two on a few occasions. Pretty weak swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to the chinlock now and Steamboat’s face is all crushed up, making it look hilarious.

Here’s the comeback and Steamboat goes up for the top rope chop. Steamboat can’t keep anything going here as a clothesline takes him down again. Out of absolutely nowhere, Steamboat gets a cross body not off the ropes to end this. Surprising endings like those are always fun, especially for the live crowd.

Rating: C-. Never been a fan of Bass but it’s hard to argue against Steamboat in the late 80s. Not bad here but really just a way to kill about ten minutes. Steamboat would be gone in about five months and would head back to the NWA where he would win the world title in February of 89.

Bass also opened the show at Survivor Series 1988.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer

Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

This is fallout from Warrior winning the title at Summerslam. Brunzell is subbing for Don Muraco who has left the company at this point. That’ll be a recurring theme tonight. Valentine and Beefcake starts us off, making it the second year in a row that Beefcake has opened for his team. It’s quickly off to Davis and the sleeper puts him out in less than a minute and a half. Well to be fair there’s no reason for him to be around anyway. Valentine charges right back in to continue the war of the original Dream Team, which I doubt most people would remember at this point.

Greg goes after the legs as is his custom, but since we’re only about three minutes into the match, the Figure Four is broken up. Well to be fair everyone says that Valentine doesn’t get warmed up for about ten or fifteen minutes so he’s still looking for his keys at this point. Off to the Blazer (played by then mostly unknown Owen Hart) who drops an ax handle onto Valentine, giving us the trademark slow fall.

Valentine goes for the arm (not a hammer lock which takes away the irony of it) but Blazer easily takes him down with a headscissors and brings in Brunzell. The Killer Bees were gone at this point so he’s just a guy in trunks. He’s a guy in trunks with a good leapfrog though as he clears Valentine with a lot of room to spare, only to get slammed down. Brunzell pops up and hits the dropkick but it’s off to Bad News. Sweet goodness was this guy born in the wrong generation. Imagine him after the rise of MMA, remembering that he’s a legitimate Olympic bronze medalist in judo.

Brown comes in like the headhunter he’s known as and kills Brunzell with a clothesline. Brunzell tries some basic stuff so Brown kicks him in the chest and beats on him in the corner. Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the easy pin to tie things up. Brutus comes in and grabs Brown so Houston, one of the least intimidating guys ever, can come off the top with a double ax.

Houston misses a charge in the corner and Brown pounds on him like a stupid looking dancing white boy. A clothesline takes Houston’s head off and here’s Valentine. Make that Brown again and Valentine accidentally hits Brown. That ticks off Bad News and he walks off. That’s not a face turn. He just didn’t like anybody. Houston tries to steal a pin on Valentine but Greg is like boy please.

Off to Bass in a match that I think happened before in the NWA. A rollup gets two for Houston but he charges into another boot in the corner. That’s a popular move in this match. A middle rope cross body gets two for Sam and a forearm from Bass takes his head off for two. Houston’s monkey flip is countered into a powerslam and he’s gone, thank goodness. The guy is just not interesting or good at all.

Warrior comes in to fire the crowd up and attacks everyone left on the other team (Valentine, Bass and Honky vs. Warrior, Beefcake and Blazer at the moment). Honky comes in because he’s not that bright and there he goes, flying through the air off a shoulder tackle. Off to Bass who gets slammed down and hit with a Rocket Launcher from Blazer. Honky comes in and is cross bodied down immediately. A monkey flip and dropkick have Honky in even more trouble so it’s off to Valentine.

Owen gets crotched on the head of Valentine during a leapfrog but apparently Blazer has balls of steel because he suplexes Valentine down and drops a knee for two. Blazer goes up but Honky shoves him off, sending Owen down onto his knee. The Figure Four means a quick elimination by Valentine and we’re down to 3-2. Off to Beefcake vs. Valentine and Jesse mentions that these guys were not only a team but tag champions. Why is that such an afterthought?

Off to Bass who also has history with Beefcake but that isn’t mentioned here, despite it happening like three months before this. A headbutt keeps Beefcake down and it’s back to Elvis Man. His contribution is ramming Beefcake’s head into Bass’ boot and tagging in Valentine. Well no one ever accused him of being a ring general. After Warrior charges in like an idiot, it’s back to Honky for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Brutus backdrops out of it to start his comeback.

Back to Bass who hits a top rope clothesline to keep the advantage and brings in Honky who goes up. Beefcake punches him in the ribs because Honky is about as fast as Arn Anderson at going to the top. Beefcake wins a slugout and we get the eternally funny selling of an atomic drop by Honky. There’s the sleeper but Man dumps them to the floor and they fight to a countout.

This leaves us with Valentine and Bass vs. Ultimate Warrior. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. A double clothesline puts Warrior down but Valentine can only get two. More double teaming works for a bit but Warrior gets to the ropes and starts shaking. Another double clothesline doesn’t work and an ax handle each gets the two pins to make Warrior the sole survivor.

Rating: C. Not the best match in the world but for a midcard match it was fine. Warrior was insanely over here (as well as insane in general but that’s another talk for later on) and the fans erupted for his comeback at the end. The rest of it is just ok and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was the right choice for an opener though.

Bass’ last feud in the WWF was with Brutus Beefcake, capped off with this match at Saturday Night’s Main Event XIX.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ron Bass

This was a fairly brutal (for its time) feud as Brutus had cut up Bass’ whip so Bass had used his boot spur on Brutus’ head, cutting him badly. They put a big red X on the screen with the word censored over it, even though Brutus moved around and you could see the cut anyway. That cost Brutus the IC Title shot he had at Summerslam. This is hair vs. hair.

I don’t think they’ve both been in the ring for more than 30 seconds yet. It’s pretty much all Brutus at this point and you know what happened because I said that. Bass gets a nice piledriver. There’s very little to this match at this point. Bass takes forever to go for the pin and after arguing with the referee he walks into a sleeper and of course he’s out in about 4 seconds.

After the commercial he cuts the back of his hair as Bass is apparently out cold for about 5 minutes from a 4 second sleeper. Dang he actually did cut it. Always nice to see them actually do what they’re supposed to do. Perfect timing that he wakes up just when the haircut is over isn’t it?

Rating: D+. This was pretty weak but not awful I guess. This was your run of the mill thing but Bass was your standard heel and Beefcake was WAY over so it works out fine I guess. This was ok for an opener and it does give a blowoff to the feud so it served its purpose in that sense.

Like I said, Bass isn’t exactly the most interesting character in the world but the mid 70s were a different time. He was good enough at what he did to stay employed and that’s more than you can say for a lot of wrestlers back then. That armless Pedigree finisher of his wasn’t half bad.

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Thunder
Date: July 1, 1999
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into the second half of the year now and hopefully things are going to pick up. After Monday, we have Kevin Nash with Torrie and Gorgeous George and having beaten up eight or so men at once to close Nitro. However, Sting was seen behind the wheel of the Hummer to end the show, but Sting is a weird dude so it could mean a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of Nitro.

Megadeath will be performing Crush Em live on Nitro.

Bret Hart will be on Nitro for his first comments in months.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn jumps Kanyon on the floor before the bell as we hear about Savage and Sid leaving with the belt itself to close Nitro. Page tries to jump Saturn but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly. A Kanyon distraction sends everyone out to the floor and Saturn keeps his control. Back in and Saturn dropkicks knocks Kanyon off the apron, only to get knocked off the apron from behind. Kanyon gets in some cheap shots and things slow down again.

We take a break (and see part of the Crush Em video) and come back with absolutely nothing different. A powerslam plants Saturn but Page takes his sweet time following up. It’s off to an abdominal stretch with Kanyon helping in an old classic sequence. After a hiptoss breaks the hold, Saturn ducks the discus lariat and superkicks Page down for two.

Back up and a Batista Bomb gets the same on Saturn but he breaks up the Diamond Cutter, only to bump the referee at the same time. Kanyon comes in and wraps a title belt around the turnbuckle. Saturn goes after him but gets dropped onto the title, giving Page a very close two count. Cue Benoit for a Swan Dive on Page but Kanyon pulls the referee out at two for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Gah I was getting into that one before the ending. That’s pretty much the only thing they could do though as you want to keep both teams strong going into the title match at the PPV. It’s frustrating but I’d rather have them do this than have a challenger lose his momentum or a title made weak.

Benoit takes out Kanyon with a suicide dive but Bigelow comes out to make it 3-2. Benoit and Saturn get destroyed, which doesn’t bode well for their title match.

No Limit Solders vs. Disorderly Conduct

That would be B.A. (Brad Armstrong) and Swoll (picture an even bigger Ahmed Johnson with even less talent) vs. Mean Mike and Tough Tom. Swoll shoves Mike down with ease to start and we get some standard “I’m a big guy with huge muscles” offense including move shoves and slams for both Conducts. Off to Armstrong for a dropkick but Mike pokes him in the eye to take over.

That’s still not enough though as Armstrong dropkicks Tom and cranks on a headlock, only to be whipped into a knee from Mike to really change control. An ax handle to the back and a jawbreaker have Brad reeling and a neckbreaker is good for two. Disorderly Conduct starts some fast tags before Mike goes up and misses a knee drop. Swoll comes in off the hot tag and cleans more house as everything breaks down. Armstrong is whipped into Tom in the corner, setting up a palm strike to the chest to give Swoll the pin. Yeah the guy is about 6’6 and 340lbs and his finishing move is a palm strike.

Rating: D. Basic tag match here but I’m not sure how to feel for Armstrong. He was a talented guy but the only way he could get out there is to carry this guy due to the powers of nepotism (Swoll was Master P.’s cousin). On the other hand, it’s better than sitting at home and never getting on TV.

La Parka vs. Eddie Guerrero

The camera makes sure to get a shot of a guy in an LWO shirt. They’re actually trying for some continuity on this story and I’m digging it for a change. La Parka goes after him in the corner to start but Eddie is too quick for him. They send each other into the corner before Eddie tosses Parka out to the floor, following him out with a big dive. The announcers finally stop talking about Megadeath and Bret Hart for a second but the dive only has so much power.

La Parka is sent into various metal objects before going back inside. Eddie misses the slingshot hilo but nails La Parka in the back of the head before slingshotting onto him for two. We take a break and come back with La Parka firing off some hard kicks to Eddie’s back. He shouts into the camera that the LWO is dead, which I thought was a foregone conclusion. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie nails his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send La Parka rolling to the floor, where he picks up the chair.

Eddie follows him out and takes a chair shot to the ribs, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Back in and we hit a variety of chinlocks and chokes, followed by a belly to belly to put Guerrero down. He’s not down enough for La Parka’s corkscrew moonsault though and the crash lets Eddie run to the top for the Frog Splash and the pin.

Rating: C+. Eddie has been on a roll since he got back and this was no exception. This is what was always fun about the cruiserweight division: even the second and third string guys were capable of having a good match when they were given the chance. It’s a nice little TV match and that’s more than you usually get out of this show.

Savage is freaking out when his phone rings. We cut to Kevin Nash on the other end, getting a massage. Savage wants Gorgeous George back so Nash tells him to go to 16^th and Norfield in 14 minutes and wait by the pay phones. The look on Savage’s face is priceless as he’s just stunned that this is happening.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

I Hate Rap video.

Silver King/Villano V/El Dandy/Damien vs. West Texas Rednecks

Barry quickly sends Silver King into the corner to start but misses a charge and eats a missile dropkick followed by a superkick. The Undoubtable El Dandy and Kendall come in with the less famous Windham hammering away and getting two off a backslide. Villano comes in with a clothesline to Kendall, sending him over to tag in Bobby.

Duncum takes a quick beating but it’s off to Damien vs. Hennig as the fast tags continue. Curt chops away in the corner and nails the knee lift. Damien tags Dandy back in for a jam up right hand to Hennig to take over. The luchadors start quadruple teaming Hennig until everything breaks down and Kendall grabs a bulldog on Damien for a pin.

Rating: C-. Not as bad as I was expecting here as they kept this moving. I’m glad they went with this formula too as there was no real need to have the Rednecks beat up a luchador for awhile or waste a lot of time in trouble when the ending is totally obvious. Nothing match but it could have been much worse.

Savage gets to the payphones and tries to figure out which one is ringing until he realizes it’s his own cell phone. Nash gives him a bunch of directions to tell Savage where to find him (two blocks down from Quick Pick in whatever city this is taking place in). Savage trying to remember all this is amusing.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg

It’s a rare defense for Mysterio. We get the usual catchphrases from the No Limit Soldiers, including Armstrong in a bizarre moment. Feeling out process to start until Blitzkrieg runs into two boots in the corner and gets backdropped out to the apron. He misses a springboard spinwheel kick but catches Rey in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a near fall. A headscissors puts Blitzkrieg on the floor for a baseball slide, only to have him catch a diving Mysterio in a powerbomb on the floor.

We head back inside for some moonsaults and chinlocks from the challenger before Rey catches him in another tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (far too popular a move in this company). Blitzkrieg comes back with a clothesline but misses a springboard knee. Rey hits a kind of Stinger Splash in the corner but runs into a second clothesline. A dropkick knocks Blitzkrieg out of the air and the top rope hurricanrana retains the title.

Rating: C. This was back to the old “I do a spot then you do a spot then we both do a spot” formula that dominated the division for so long. It also furthers the idea that Blitzkrieg really wasn’t anything special in the ring and was much more flash than substance. Mysterio needs to drop the title already though as he’s completely outgrown the thing and it could be used to elevate someone else.

Savage’s Hummer pulls up on a street corner and Nash’s limo arrives a few seconds later. Nash gets out and talks about how sweet George is. Sid and Savage jump Nash until a clearly fake Sting breaks a ball bat over Nash’s back. Sid takes the girl in the back seat (clearly Torrie) and puts her in the Hummer as Nash is left laying.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell

We get the usual catchphrases from both until Steiner nails him in the back with a dog collar. They head outside with Rick piledriveing on the concrete and hot shotting him onto the barricade. Back in and Buff nails a dropkick and neckbreaker because being dropped head and throat first onto concrete and steel don’t have any real effect on him. Buff gets knocked to the floor as we take a break and get to see the rest of the Crush Em video. Yeah remember that from an hour and a half ago?

Back with the champ choking with his chain and then putting on a chinlock. Again, why do we even bother with referees in this company anymore? Rick punches him in the neck a few times and we’re right back to the chinlock. After a minute or so of that, we switch to a reverse chinlock to keep things fresh. Buff fights up after two arm drops but Rick stops the comeback after about eight seconds. He puts Bagwell on top but gets kicked away as Buff loads up the Blockbuster. Not that it matters though as David Flair comes out to tase Buff (again, WCW referees are WORTHLESS), giving Rick an easy pin.

Rating: D. Again, why in the world is Rick Steiner getting this kind of a push? He doesn’t do anything other than punches and hard rest holds but for some reason he’s spent months as the TV Champion. Speaking of Steiners as champions, has Scott been seen since he beat Buff at the PPV a few months back? Also, this drops Buff to 1-3 since he pinned Flair in the eight man tag, with the one win coming via DQ and being followed by a beatdown from Sid and Savage.

Savage opens the car door and finds Torrie because Nash is not only able to beat up eight guys at once and leave with the girls, but he’s SMART too!

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling, save for the main event which was barely wrestling, was tolerable here and it brings the show up a bit. The Nash and Savage stuff is straight out of a low budget movie, which could be a good or bad thing based on your taste. However, at the end of the day we’re looking at yet another horrible main event match at Bash at the Beach because no one EVER breaks into the main event around here. The old vs. new story looks to be dead at this point with the new generation shoved back down the card to where they have been forever now. At least Piper and Flair can draw though and that’s what matters.

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Monday Nitro #194
Date: June 28, 1999
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 16,210
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’ve got two shows left before Bash at the Beach and the big story tonight is Ric Flair having some sort of a big surprise for World Champion Kevin Nash. The last week of shows was better than the stuff they’ve been putting on lately, although that really doesn’t cover much. You never can tell what sort of nonsense you’re going to get on here so let’s get to it.

The Flairs arrive with the owner of the United CenterBruce McArthur. He offers to build a statue of David Flair bigger than the one of Michael Jordan.

Nitro Girls.

It’s Nash vs. Flair tonight. David Flair that is.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Fit Finlay/Steven Regal

Fallout from Thunder where Regal returned and yelled at Finlay and Dave Taylor, who is on the floor for this one. Regal rips on America before the match starts like a good villain should. Finlay cranks on the arm to start but Benoit takes his head off with a clothesline as we take a quick break. Back with Finlay sending Regal to the floor before dropping him throat first over the top rope.

Off to Regal as we hear about a dance off later in the show. He works on Saturn’s arm for a bit but walks into a belly to belly. Regal tags in Finlay for a sleeper, only to have Saturn counter into one of his own. Regal draws in Benoit like the old villain he is, allowing him to hit Saturn in the back with the British flag pole. We get a double tag and Benoit runs Regal over with clotheslines and a suplex sets up the Swan Dive. Finlay makes a save and Regal puts Saturn in the Regal Stretch, only to have Benoit make the save, setting up a Death Valley Driver for the pin on Regal.

Rating: C+. Would you expect these four to have anything bad? Regal is every bit as awesome as he used to be with the little heel mannerisms that you only get from a veteran. It’s nice to see Benoit and Saturn get a win to help set up their match at the Bash because they probably don’t have much of a chance there.

DJ Ran.

Van Hammer comes in to see the bosses and would like a title shot. His reward: a TV Title shot against Rick Steiner at the PPV.

Gene brings out the bosses minus Piper for some reason. Why Anderson has changed his clothes since the last segment isn’t really clear. Flair rips on the crowd with the old standard sports lines before Piper comes out and does exactly the same. Piper rips on Howard Stern in his weekly story that most people don’t care about. Apparently the power structure around here won’t let Ric be the World Champion again so David is going to do it in his place. The title match is happening tonight and it’s going to be a lumberjack match.

This brings Flair to Randy Savage, who he’d like to see out here right now. Savage, Sid and the girls come out and Flair wants them all to be lumberjacks. Ric sweetens the pot a bit by offering to reinstate the elbow. Little Naitch protests and is basically told to shut up. Savage rambles a lot before accepting.

Lodi teaches Lenny Lane to paint his nails. Lenny asks when WCW is going to find out about them but Lodi says they’re not the only ones. Lodi: “You got me babe and I got you.”

Lodi vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie pounds away to start but Lodi sends him into the referee in less than thirty seconds. Lenny comes in and gets dropkicked down as Eddie armdrags Lodi at the same time. A brainbuster plants Lodi and Eddie loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Lenny crawl on top of Lodi. That’s fine with Eddie who splashes Lenny’s back and pins Lodi. Uh….comedy?

Torrie, David and Piper are in the back and recruit the Triad to be lumberjacks.

DJ Ran.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Hak to ask if fans want to see him get extreme. Remember that Flair banned hardcore matches on Thunder a few weeks back. Hak wants Flair out here now but gets Bigelow instead.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hak

Bigelow jumps Hak to start and splashes him in the corner, only to run into a boot. Hak clotheslines him out to the floor but his plancha is easily caught, allowing Bigelow to ram him into the post. Back in and Bigelow keeps using the fat man offense, only to miss the top rope headbutt. Not that it matters as Hak misses the swanton but comes back with a swinging DDT. Cue the rest of the Triad but Hak nails them with the stick and gives Bigelow the White Russian legsweep. Page comes in for the Diamond Cutter to give Bigelow the pin.

Rating: D. So now it takes three people to beat HAK? I’m not sure why they bothered to get rid of the hardcore matches as it leaves guys like him to try and work a regular match which just isn’t going to happen. He hit a nice DDT and that’s about the extent of wrestling Hak seems capable of doing. Why sign him if you’re going to take away the only thing people like seeing him do?

Here’s Nash with something to say. WCW still doesn’t want him as champion and his only friend is at home in Orlando. However, he’ll put up the title tonight with the stipulation that if he wins, he gets Torrie for 72 hours. He doesn’t need a week you see because after 72 hours with him, Torrie will be ruined.

DJ Ran again.

NWO vs. West Texas Rednecks

Sure why not. That would be Stevie/Vincent/Brian Adams/Horace. It’s Barry vs. Adams to start with Windham slapping him in the face. An armdrag sets up a DDT from Barry but Adams presses him into the air, only to have Barry slip out and roll him up for two. Off to Hennig vs. Stevie with the big man running over Curt and stomping away in the corner.

Kendall comes in and takes a clothesline before it’s off to Vincent for a stomping of his own. Off to Horace who is quickly caught in the Redneck corner. Hennig comes in for his running kneelift before Barry nails a top rope clothesline. Bobby kicks Horace in the face but Adams trips him up, allowing for the hot tag (?) to Vincent. Everything breaks down and a double bulldog to Vincent is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. Who books an eight man all heel tag match? The NWO hasn’t wrestled together in months and I have no idea why they’re even a thing anymore. The Rednecks are an interesting idea and the song is incredibly catchy, even though booking them as heels isn’t a good idea. It helps that we didn’t have to hear Master P. shouting like an idiot this week though.

Time for a dance contest between Disco Inferno and Ernest Miller. The Nitro Girls are the judges to try and make this not horrible. Scratch that as we’re going by fan applause, making the Girls pure eye candy. Miller says he could beat Jerry Flynn too, likely setting up a run in. Ernest does his usual routine, Disco does his usual routine, Miller jumps Disco and we’ve got a match.

The Cat vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is in trouble to start but makes a quick comeback with an atomic drop and dancing middle rope elbow. Cat comes back with chops and kicks before sending Disco outside for kicks from Sonny. Back in and Disco hits a Chartbuster out of nowhere but takes forever to cover, allowing Sonny to come in. That goes badly for Cat too as Sonny hits his man but slips him the red shoe. Miller knocks Disco sillier but Jerry Flynn runs out for the no contest.

Flynn wants a kickboxing match with Miller next week. We just spent five minutes setting up kickboxing with Jerry Flynn. This show is done.

DJ Ran.

Tag Team Titles: Buff Bagwell/Dean Malenko vs. Jersey Triad

Flair and company come out to the announcers’ table and announce Anderson as referee for the main event tonight because he’s still not over the NWO parody of his retirement. Bigelow starts on the floor as Malenko rolls up Page for some fast two counts. Off to Bagwell vs. Kanyon with Kanyon mocking Buff’s dance in a funny bit. Buff nails a quick atomic drop and a swinging neckbreaker before it’s back to Dean. Malenko sunset flips Kanyon but Page gets a blind tag and nails Dean to take over.

Bigelow comes in for a 3-1 beatdown with Kanyon hitting a middle rope legdrop for two. Page gets the same off a tilt-a-whirl slam and we take a break. Back with Page clotheslining Malenko for two, only to have Dean escape a tilt-a-whirl slam and make the hot tag to Buff. Bagwell cleans house on the legal Kanyon but Bigelow grabs his leg to break up the Blockbuster.

Bigelow and Kanyon take turns on Buff before it’s off to Page for an elbow drop. Buff crawls around the ring but finally grabs a sunset flip for two. Malenko tags himself in but the referee goes down quickly. Everything breaks down and Buff Blockbusters Kanyon, only to have Bigelow come in for the double Diamond Cutter to pin Dean.

Rating: C-. Take pretty much every Triad match so far and you have the same thing here. The young team gets beaten down again, the old guys rule the day and the fans are punched in the ribs again. That’s basically WCW in a nutshell at this point, as the young guys continue to look like nothing next to the veterans.

We get the world premiere of the I Hate Rap video. This is still awesome and Curt Hennig is still the only West Texas Redneck from Minnesota.

Sid Vicious vs. Scott Putski

I really don’t see this going well. Sid has Savage and all three girls with him and takes nearly two minutes to get to the ring. The bell rings and there’s no contact for over a minute. The girls get on the apron and the guys haven’t touched each other in the first ninety seconds. The girls keep rubbing Scott’s back from the apron until Sid FINALLY hits him after nearly two minutes.

In the span of another minute, Sid hits him about five times while the fans are very bored. A snapmare puts Putski down and the chant turns to Goldberg. The chokeslam plants Scott but Sid would rather walk around than cover. The powerbomb finally ends it after nearly five minutes.

Rating: F. If they were going out there and trying to tick the fans off, they’ve succeeded at something for the first time in months. This was a match that should have lasted thirty seconds but instead Sid stood around and yelled for minutes at a time after having the longest entrance this side of Undertaker. Why even bother with the match at this point?

Post match Savage and Sid say Nash is next and Randy drops an elbow on Putski. Somehow from the time Scott’s music hit to the time they went to a break was ten minutes long. Does that look like a ten minute segment to you?

Nitro Girls.

WCW World Title: David Flair vs. Kevin Nash

Lumberjack match with Arn Anderson as referee and Savage, Sid, the girls, Ric, Piper and the Triad around the ring. David even has one of his dad’s robes for a nice touch. The announcers already start talking about how Nash is up against the wall and the lumberjacks all come in to go after him. Nash is quickly down in the corner as David bails to the floor. Arn of course has something in his eye this whole time but gets it clean as David puts on the Figure Four for a two count.

Nash wakes up and hammers away as the beating is on in a hurry. He hits all the usual stuff as the lumberjacks come in again. Nash of course fights off ALL OF THEM and takes a taser away from David. The villains are shocked and Nash kidnaps Gorgeous George as Torrie leaves willingly with Nash.

The three of them go to the back towards Nash’s limo but see a Hummer. Sting’s face can be seen in the mirror and Nash sees him before leaving in the limo with the girls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So let’s look at the last half hour of this show. We have a ten minute Sid vs. Scott Putski match and Kevin Nash fighting off eight men and getting to leave with two gorgeous blondes. I’m sure the latter has nothing to do with him being the booker whatsoever. Over on Raw, Steve Austin was beating the Undertaker for the WWF Title in the highest rated match in the history of Monday Night Raw. This week felt like WCW was actively trying to lose and that isn’t a good sign as we head into the second half of the year.

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Thunder
Date: June 24, 1999
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Bash at the Beach seems miles away at this point as I don’t think anything has been announced save for the main event tag match. Other than that I’m sure we’ll get something in the old vs. new story, presumably with Bagwell getting a big match and in theory a major win over an older guy. Yeah I don’t see it happening either. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their opening stuff and Tenay plugs the PPV.

Here’s the birthday party and subsequent caking between the rappers and the cowboys from Monday.

Speaking of the cowboys, here they are to perform Rap Is Crap live. I think we’ve hit our high point.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

The fans are entirely behind Eddie here. Eddie mocks taking the LWO shirt off to Psychosis before running into a clothesline. A hurricanrana out of the corner drops Eddie again and Psychosis crotches him on the top for good measure. Psychosis kicks Guerrero to the floor and follows him out with a big dive. The announcers are already ignoring this to talk about the Hummer driver.

Back in and Eddie hurricanranas Psychosis down and it’s already back to the floor. Psychosis goes into the steps and gets crushed between the steps and post for a dropkick. The slingshot hilo has Psychosis in even more trouble and Eddie hooks an abdominal stretch as we take a break. Back with Guerrero holding a leg lock but being thrown into the air for a big crash a few seconds later.

That’s fine with Eddie as he goes right back to the leg to take over. He bridges back on the leg in a painful looking hold before taking it back outside, only to be sent into the barricade. They head inside again with Eddie nailing a nice leg lariat. Eddie dives into an atomic drop and gets kicked off the apron and to the floor. A slingshot moonsault drops Guerrero again and it’s back into the ring. Eddie’s tornado DDT is countered and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. Psychosis misses a high cross body though and the Frog Splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: B. This is the kind of stuff that made WCW fans stick around as long as they did. Yeah there’s a bunch of nonsense going on and the old guys won’t just go away and let the younger generation take over, but every so often you get a ten to fifteen minute match like this that just takes off and entertains the heck out of you. Really good stuff here and more proof that Eddie was awesome.

Ric Flair and company convince Evan Karagias to lay down for David tonight to make David 6-0, because he’s going to break Goldberg’s record.

Clip from Monday of Nash and Sting chasing off Savage and Sid, followed by Nash implying Sting was driving the Hummer.

Clip from Monday of Luger saving Sting from Sid’s powerbomb to end the show. Again, where did Nash go to?

Actually he’s right here with something to say. He talks about being an Outsider a few years ago and here he is the World Champion and still an outsider. WCW doesn’t want him to have the title and they’re throwing everyone they can at him. First he beat Savage so Randy brought in Sid. Now those two have brought in Sting, who Nash will tag with even though he doesn’t trust him. This actually hasn’t bad.

Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn

For some reason Benoit and Saturn come out to Malenko’s music. Benoit and Taylor get things going with Taylor backing him into the corner but stopping to stare at the Canadian. Taylor takes him down to the mat with a test of strength but Benoit bridges off the mat. Dave can’t even break the bridge by jumping onto Benoit in an always cool looking display of strength.

Benoit comes back with some dropkicks to send Taylor outside and it’s off to Finlay and Saturn. The t-bone suplex doesn’t quite work for Saturn as he falls backwards while throwing Finlay but everything breaks down to send the Europeans out to the floor. Saturn keeps up the mistakes by superkicking Finlay in the ribs to knock him into a German suplex. Fit easily sends Benoit into the corner though as we take a break.

Back with Finlay putting Benoit in a half crab before Taylor comes in to grab the other leg for good measure. A belly to back gets two for Finlay and it’s back to Dave as the fans chant for Benoit. The heels take turns on Benoit with Finlay talking his usual trash. An Earthquake splash keeps Benoit in trouble but Saturn chases an interfering Taylor away.

Benoit slips off Finlay’s shoulders and nails Taylor, allowing for the hot tag to Saturn. Perry slips out of a tilt-a-whirl slam and messes up the landing again. What is with him tonight? Finlay plants him with the rolling fireman’s carry but Saturn pops up with the Death Valley Driver on Taylor. Not that it matters as Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Dave for the pin.

Rating: C+. Another good match here as the wrestling is on fire tonight. Taylor was an underused guy who was great at making others look great. Finlay was his usual self here and that’s exactly the kind of guys you want in there with a tag team like Benoit and Saturn when they’re in the middle of a solid push. What was with all of Saturn’s botches though? He never does that.

Steve Regal returns to give the losers a pep talk.

Clip of the ending to the old vs. new tag match from Monday.

Here are Flair and Asya for a chat with Gene. Flair has some business to take care of by making Benoit/Saturn vs. Page/Kanyon for the Tag Team Titles at Bash at the Beach. As for tonight, we’re going to stomp out some problems so it’s Bagwell/Malenko vs. Savage/Sid. That leaves him with Nash, but he’s saving a surprise for Monday in Chicago. Flair keeps shouting TURN ON THE POWER to end this.

Curt Hennig vs. Lenny Lane

Lane quickly tries to run but Duncum throws him back in. Lenny actually scores with a slam and mocks the whole cowboy thing. As you would expect, Hennig pops up and throws Lenny into the corner for some hard chops. We get the old standards from Hennig including the neck snap and dropkick before a big chop drops Lane again. Hennig stomps on the ribs….and the match is stopped? Ah Lodi threw in the towel to save his buddy. Total squash.

Lodi gets a Hennigplex for his efforts.

Here are Savage, Sid and the chicks with something to say. Randy insists that none of the girls were driving the Hummer, which should be obvious given that they were outside the limo when it was crushed. Savage thinks it might have been Hall or even Sting. Sid babbles about huting Nash and Sting and that’s about it.

Evan Karagias vs. David Flair

Now remember, Evan is supposed to be tanking. They trade armbars on the mat to start until Evan scores with an armdrag. A quick suplex drops David again but Anderson tells him to start throwing it. Evan responds by powerslamming David, only to have Ric get up on the apron for a distraction. Now Asya offers a distraction so Anderson can slip David the taser to knock Evan out. The Figure Four makes David I think 6-0.

Hugh Morrus vs. Van Hammer

Hardcore match. Morrus hammers away with trashcan lids to start before using the trashcan itself. A big slam onto the can has Hammer in even more trouble so Hugh goes up, only to slip off and run into a lid shot from Hammer, drawing a Flair Flop. Hammer puts on his jacket, nails a lariat, and puts the jacket on the turnbuckle. We get a ladder set up in the corner but Hugh sends Hammer into it for a big crash.

A trashcan shot to the head busts Hammer open so it’s time for a wide angle. Hugh and Hart set up a table on the floor so Morrus can load up No Laughing Matter….but Flair comes out and stops the match. He says there will be no more hardcore matches (SWEET) and gets in an argument with Morrus, allowing Hammer to put him through the table and walk off.

Rating: D. Uh…yeah. Between Morrus literally running into a shot from a trashcan lid to the ending, I’m not sure what they were going for with something like this. These guys are both wandering around with nothing to do and now they’re taking away the only thing they have going on. At least it’s nothing that needs to be sticking around so it’s hard to complain.

Randy Savage/Sid Vicious vs. Buff Bagwell/Dean Malenko

I don’t see this ending well. Savage and Bagwell get things going with Buff already posing. We keep up the stalling even longer until they lock up against the ropes. Time for more posing though as we’re somehow almost two minutes into the match. A dropkick puts Randy down and it’s off to Malenko. We get an actually nice amateur sequence but it’s off to Sid to put Malenko in trouble. Malenko slides through the ropes and brings in Buff for some double teaming but Savage knees Buff in the back. A chokeslam plants Bagwell and a legdrop gets two. The fans want Goldberg but get Savage instead.

Randy suckers Dean in so the villains can double team. Sid hammers away in the corner but Madusa’s interference goes bad with Savage nailing her by mistake. The hot tag brings in Dean with a cross body getting two on Savage. Everything breaks down and Miss Madness sunset flips Dean for no apparent reason. Dean puts her in the Cloverleaf so Savage can nail him from behind. Sid plants Dean with a powerbomb and Savage nails Nick Patrick for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match had its moments but you were just waiting for the old guys to destroy the younger generation. I know you don’t want Sid or Savage to take a fall here but did the have to destroy these two? Of course they did because this is WCW with two guys that could move up the card.

Post match Savage and Sid destroy Mickie Jay for coming out to try and keep things in line. Savage says the powerbomb is for Nash and rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The first two matches were really solid but things went downhill in a hurry after that. As usual, the wrestlers can carry the show but the “stories” drag it down a cliff. That being said, the opening matches made this one of the best episodes in a good while, but I gave up hope for this company a long time ago.

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Today we’re looking at the greatest wrestler on God’s green Earth: Harley Race.

Race started in 1960 but we’ll pick things up with him as NWA World Champion and wrestling at MSG for NWA member the World Wide Wrestling Federation on December 19, 1977.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

Martel is about 21 here and the announcers are Australian. This has to be the forerunner to OCW. Crowd is INSANE here and we keep hearing the announcer say World Championship Wrestling which is weird as all goodness. The turnbuckles are HUGE. This is just odd to see but rather fun. A hiptoss and backdrop into an arm drag and armbar warrants a slow motion replay in the middle of the match.

This announcer is really good. No clue who he is but he’s quite engaging. Race was fairly awesome at this point as he was still young at 34. Martel gets out of a hammerlock to a nice pop. He’s quite popular here. I wonder if he has an enormous schwanzstück (rep to whoever gets this reference first).

Race gets a nice gutwrench suplex to take over again but Martel starts the comeback. The punches are let loose but Martel misses a cross body off the middle rope and Race hits a British Bulldogesque delayed suplex to get the pin. It was a very different time back then and winning with a move like that was perfectly acceptable at this point.

Rating: B-. Very fun little match here as Martel did his thing but Race just outsmarted him to get the pin. Race in his prime is a sight to behold as he really is as good as he’s made up to be. I’m not a big Martel guy but this was a good match and the crowd being very hot helped a lot. Who would have expected that from Australia?

From two years later in the same building on December 17, 1979.

NWA World Title: Harley Race vs. Dusty Rhodes

Why am I not thrilled to see this? Race is champion here. Rhodes is listed as 261 pounds. That’s just hilarious. Race had the title and then Dusty beat him for it and vice versa, leading to the rubber match here. Dusty hits his elbow drop for two because it’s not the end of the match and since IT’S AN ELBOW DROP it doesn’t work here. This was back in the final days of the WWF being in the NWA so these wouldn’t happen much more often.

This is fairly basic and Vince keeps trying to tell us how great Rhodes is in the ring. On the mic yes but in the ring not so much. They fight over a suplex and this is definitely a different style than the rest of the show has been as it’s a more NWA style of slow building. Race is bleeding from the head. Race gets launched to the floor as this thankfully picks up something resembling steam.

Dusty hits a piledriver but the feet are on the ropes again. Race comes back with his standard stuff as this is pretty clearly coming to a close. Dusty makes his comeback which lasts about 8 seconds. Race drops a bunch of knees and Dusty is busted open too. His is a lot worse than Race’s though. Dusty makes his real comeback but the referee stops it because of his cut for a CHEAP finish. LOUD bull chant afterwards.

Rating: C. This was boring as all goodness for the most part but it picked up a lot near the end. The finish was clearly going to be screwy but I can live with that as this was just a token title defense. Also that means Race wins here instead of a draw or a no contest. Nothing great at all here but pretty watchable.

Off to Texas Stadium at some point in 1982.

Kerry Von Erich vs. Harley Race

The winner gets a title shot against Ric Flair. Kerry uses his speed to start and hits a nice dropkick but gets small packaged for two. Off to a headlock on the veteran but Race slams him down and tries a headbutt, only to have Kerry just hold up his hands to block it. The Claw goes on and Race is suddenly screaming but he’s able to send Von Erich to the floor. Kerry slams him down on the concrete though and calmly waits in the ring.

Back in and Race easily takes him down with a chinlock but Kerry quickly fights back up and nails a discus punch. The referee goes down in a rare sight at this point, meaning Race’s piledriver only gets two. They fight to the floor again with Race in full control and ramming him into various metal objects. Some knees to the head have Kerry in even more trouble but he’s able to post Harley for a breather. Back in again and Kerry hammers away before putting on a sleeper.

Race is bleeding from the eye and sends Von Erich into the buckle to escape. A nice suplex puts Kerry down but Harley can’t follow up. Another headbutt misses and Kerry gets two before slamming Harley off the top. They collide again and fall out to the floor for a slugout with Kerry taking over. Back in and Race goes up top for a cross body but Kerry rolls through for the big upset.

Rating: C+. This was the stadium match style played very well and it worked like it was supposed to. For a show in this big of an area, you have to do stuff that is going to get noticed very easily. Almost everything here was a big move that could be seen from a long way off and the match worked well. Also notice that Race, nearing the end of his time on top, is putting young stars over clean. That’s what aging veterans are supposed to do.

Race’s most famous feud was against Ric Flair in the early 80s. Race had defeated Flair for the title and then offered a bounty for anyone that could take Flair out. Dick Slater and Bob Orton attacked Flair and claimed the bounty, but Ric came back with a ball bat, swearing revenge. Here’s his chance at the first Starrcade in 1983.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Harley Race

The entrances take a LONG time, especially when you compare them to the other intros tonight. Wait has anyone else had an intro tonight? I don’t think they have actually. Flair has a long light sequence with his legendary music (the song playing in the gorilla sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey) playing in the background. Former world champion Gene Kiniski is guest referee for no apparent reason and this is inside a steel cage. Race is a seven time and reigning champion and Flair is a two time champion so these are both seasoned veterans.

They talk trash to each other to start before Flair takes him down with a headlock takeover. Race sends him into the ropes for a knee to the ribs but Kiniski pulls them apart. Ric snapmares him down into a chinlock which transitions into a headlock. Race fights up and hits a high knee, only to have a falling headbutt hit the canvas. Flair goes back to the headlock and cranks away on it on the mat but has to shift over into a front facelock.

Race escapes but misses a big elbow drop, only to fall on Flair for two during a slam attempt. Race drops a knee on the forehead and it’s Flair in trouble this time. Kiniski pulls Race off again so Harley opts to hit Ric in the ear instead. A piledriver puts Flair down but Race drops an elbow before covering. Race stays on the neck which is logical given the piledriver that put Flair out earlier in the year. The champion drives some knee into the back of the neck before sending Flair head first into the cage. That’s the first time it’s been used and we’re about ten minutes into the match.

We go to that overhead camera shot again as Race hits what looks like a shoulder breaker for two. A falling headbutt has Flair in trouble again as does being slammed face first into the cage. Another shot into the steel has Flair in trouble and Race is in full control. The referee pulls Race off Flair for the third time but this time he yells at Flair as well. Ric is busted open now.

Flair tries a headbutt get gets raked in the eyes to bring him down again. Now Ric blocks a ram into the cage and sends the champion in to get his first advantage in a long time. A knee to Race’s head gets two and Harley is busted open as well. Flair hits a piledriver of his own but Race’s afro protects him, meaning Flair only gets two. There’s a butterfly suplex for two for Flair and he sends Race head first into the cage again.

Race is in trouble but comes back with a headbutt which looked very low and Flair is in trouble as a result. Kiniski interferes AGAIN before Race throws Flair into the cage. Flair loads up a punch but Gene pulls the arm back because that’s illegal. IN A CAGE MATCH. Ric gets ticked off and pounds away on the champion but Kiniski breaks up the strut. Flair puts on the Figure Four but Race turns it over, which is apparently a big deal at this time.

Race headbutts out of the corner but Flair falls on top during a suplex attempt. The champion slams him down and drops a middle rope headbutt but stuns himself in the process. A suplex gets two more for Race and there is blood EVERYWHERE. Race pounds away and Kiniski has a problem with that too. Harley shrugs off some Flair punches and sends him into the cage before choking away with his boot.

Flair counters a suplex into one of his own as the back and forth control continues. A big elbow drop misses Race and both guys are down. Flair has been in such a fight that he’s gone from covered in blood to clean again to bloody again. Race accidentally knocks the referee down and in a famous but odd ending, Flair goes up top and hits a cross body, sending Race falling over the kneeling Kiniski for the pin and the title.

Rating: A. This is the definition of an old school fight. While it was pretty clear that Flair was going to win, it wasn’t a complete lock which made the match that much more interesting. The only slight flaw is the ending as the Kiniski stuff really wasn’t needed and the build wasn’t all that strong. Still though, this was a bloody and violent match between two of the best ever. Great stuff.

Off to the AWA with Race’s career winding down. From SuperClash 1985.

Asian Six Man Tag Titles: Giant Baba/Tsuruta/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Harley Race/Bill Irwin/Scott Irwin

I can find no source claiming that these titles existed either before or after this show. The three Japanese guys are the defending champions but they have no belts. Baba has freaky skinny arms. Scott vs. Tenryu to start. They talk about the two former world champions here: Race and Tsuruta. That’s very interesting that they’re ignoring Baba being a three time NWA World Champion.

Ok so Scott is in the shirt. Got it. Race comes in to fight Tenryu and never mind as it’s Jumbo. Race is his usual old school heel self and it’s off to Bill. Bill makes a tag as Tsuruta counters a top wristlock. Off to Race vs. Baba as this match is really awkward. There’s no story here so there’s no heat to it. They tag in and out a lot and technically it’s ok, but it’s more like a collection of moves than a coherent match.

Bill gets a boot in and the fans are getting behind the heels. See what I mean about it not making a lot of sense? Tenryu is going to be playing Ricky Morton it seems. Piledriver gets two for Race. The Irwins hit a double back elbow for the same. Tenryu gets a boot up and it’s hot tag to Jumbo. Everything breaks down and Baba LAUNCHES Bill into the corner and to the floor. Back to Tenryu who gets a slam for two. Everything breaks down again and Baba hits a big boot on Bill for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This show has been pretty meh so far and this match hasn’t helped anything. The fake champions defended their fake titles against guys they have no issue with right? On top of that like I said, there’s no issue here so the match isn’t anything interesting either. This felt off the whole time and it really brought it down. That and the heels being cheered because no one knew most of the Japanese guys.

Race got a shot at a former AWA World Champion at WrestleRock 1986.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Somewhere around this time, Race invested in the Kansas City territory and lost a fortune due to national expansion. He had to take a job in the WWF and we’ll pick things up on June 14, 1986.

Harley Race vs. Lanny Poffo

Race is the “newcomer” here, although they openly say he’s wrestled for twenty years. Clipped to Poffo taking something like a brainbuster on the floor. The fans are quiet but this is the old Race, as in the old school style of him. Top rope headbutt (which Race is credited with inventing) puts Poffo down and a regular one puts him on the floor.

Poffo starts his comeback and hits a flying headscissors to bring Race over the top and back in. Race gets him in a fireman’s carry and drops him throat first across the top rope to break up the comeback though. Fisherman’s suplex ends this. Not enough to grade but Race was his usual great self, even though the match was dull.

Off to the Big Event against another legend.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

They’re both old and they’re both fat. They’re also rather slow and it’s not interesting at all anymore. The main event is next so this is likely Hogan’s effort to make people forget the previous good match so that he looks good next. He did it to the whole company in about 8 years with WCW. The referees have more or less sucked all night as they never count fast enough. Race gets a double leg trip and uses the ropes for the easy pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just a filler to put some space between the two matches that were good and nothing more.

Here’s a match that had a hand in starting a series. A Survivor Series if you will. From November 24, 1986.

Randy Savage/Harley Race/Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper/Junkyard Dog/Ricky Steamboat

This is elimination rules and it was a brand new idea at the time. They were popular enough that a PPV version was made later in the year. For some reason, Slick is on commentary. These are all matches at Wrestlemania and the last appearance in MSG for Piper so gee, I wonder who will win here. Savage runs and hides from Steamboat but they wind up starting.

Savage tries to roll away and it’s Race in now with no tag. Off to JYD and it’s rolling headbutts time. They look at each other for awhile as Steamboat plays cheerleader. Belly to belly puts JYD down and it’s off to Savage again. He loads up the elbow but stops to yell at Steamboat. Piper shoves Randy into the now legal Steamboat. My goodness I’d love to see Savage and Piper have a feud. Not the kind they had in WCW either.

Off to Adonis and he runs from Piper. Everything breaks down and all six are in there. A double suplex puts Roddy down and Adrian hooks the sleeper on him. That doesn’t last and Piper hooks a sleeper which is broken up just as quickly. JYD is waiting on an opponent now. I know it sounds like I’m skipping a lot but they’re moving in and out of there so fast that it’s almost impossible to keep up with.

Adonis works on the Dog but hits him in the head because heels are stupid. Everyone goes to the floor and Roddy hits Adrian with a chair. Back to some form of sanity as Piper hits a belly to back suplex on Race but Savage breaks up the cover. This has been incredibly fast paced. And there’s a bell. Uh……why? Adonis and JYD were both counted out because they were legal. Ok then.

Piper vs. Race now and make that Piper vs. Savage. Piper blocks a suplex as Gorilla and Slick argue. Savage misses a shot into the ropes but Race prevents the tag. And never mind as he makes it just a second later. Steamboat speeds things up on Race as Slick yells about karate. Everyone gets in again and my goodness is there some talent in there. There isn’t a bad combination at all out there.

Steamboat rolls up Race but Savage reverses it and somehow it gets the pin, after about 15 seconds of Steamboat being down. I don’t think so but whatever. Ok so it’s Piper vs. Race/Savage. Piper of course is all cool with going straight for Race and they go to the floor. Savage tries to hit him with a chair but they get back in and somehow Savage is now legal. Top rope double axe gets two. Powerslam gets two for Race. Piper grabs a gutwrench suplex but Savage makes the save.

Savage goes up but the double axe hits Race, allowing Piper to steal a pin and it’s 1-1. Now THIS should be awesome. And this is how Piper goes out of MSG? This works I’d think. Race won’t leave so Piper throws Savage into him and then bulldogs Randy down. Savage tries to bail but suckers Piper in and gets the first punch in. That weird clothesline Savage does takes Roddy down for two.

They start choking away at each other and this is so awesome. Piper actually shows off his strength and holds Savage up in a choke. They collide and Savage is knocked to the floor. Piper gets up but then lays down and plays possum. Savage goes up for the elbow but Piper moves and a small package ends the Macho Man. TOTALLY AWESOME and vintage Piper.

Rating: A. I had a blast with this. The talent levels out there were completely insane and they gave us twenty minutes of a great match. These matches could work so well if they were done right and this one was, especially when they have the time to put it together. The eliminations were a bit off, but this was probably the first one ever. Great match though and an absolute blast.

Against a bigger name on February 23, 1987.

Paul Orndorff/Harley Race vs. Hulk Hogan/Roddy Piper

These two teaming up together always feels wrong. Big brawl to start until Hogan and Piper clear the ring. The heels come back in so Hogan picks up Piper and uses his feet as a battering ram. Piper vs. Race officially gets us started. Off to Hulk and the place goes manic. They work on Race’s arm and it’s back to Piper for another big pop. Ok make it Hogan http://improvehearingnaturally.com again. You know they work well together for mortal enemies.

They do look at each other with a bit of disdain and a lack of trust but if they didn’t it would be awful. Race headbutts his way out of trouble but still can’t bring Paul in. Back to Hulk and the arm work continues. The place is about to come unglued. Race finally gets in a belly to belly and knee drop to take over. Here’s Orndorff off the top and Piper is in trouble now.

The heels take turns on Piper and it’s off to a chinlock. This place is going to explode when Hogan gets the tag. Suplex keeps Roddy down and it’s off to Paul again. Race hammers away on Piper some more and headbutts him. Roddy stands still and looks like he’s about to fall down when he dives forward for the tag. That looked great. Race looks scared to death and Hogan pounds away. House is cleaned and he drops the leg but Orndorff saves. Heenan gets drilled and heel miscommunication lets Piper pin Race which counts for some reason.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where it’s about the atmosphere instead of the match itself. Piper and Hogan teaming together is still a weird sight and I’m not sure how well I like it. Still though, fun little match that blew the roof off MSG (that thing has to be in disrepair given how often it happens) which is the entire idea.

Here’s Race’s most famous WWF match. From Wrestlemania III.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Race was in the opening match from the first Survivor Series in 1987.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules

Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Here’s Race in a dream match at SNME XV.

Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race

HOLY CRAP THEY KEPT IT RIGHT! What I mean by that is Hogan’s shirt is torn both in the interview and in the intro. See, back in the day these interviews might be taped 4 months in advance in multi-hour long sessions. This would result in problems such as titles being different and clothing changing. In his interview, Hogan ripped up his shirt and he came out with a ripped shirt again. Most impressive indeed.

Hogan beats the heck out of Race before the bell rings. Cheater! They start brawling and Race takes over like he should be doing the entire time. It’s sad to see Race having to do this as he was a better worker than Hogan could ever dream of being. This is far closer to a brawl than an actual match which I think was the best choice in this case. Race hits the belly to belly and doesn’t even cover here. Good.

That is a terrible finisher no matter who uses it. This is your run of the mill Hogan match so there you are. What else do you expect here? Hogan is laid on a table and Race dives at him, missing though. The important thing here though is that the table spiked up and went into Race, injuring him and more or less ending his in ring career. The headbutt from the top hits but it’s Hogan in the 80s. What do you think he’s going to do? The usual ends it with what looked a lot like an edit. Heenan comes in and gets beaten up. Oh wait no he doesn’t as he DIVES over the top rope. That looked awesome.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid brawl here but nothing amazing. Race vs. Hogan is something close to a dream match but not from this era. Still though it’s cool to hear names like that announced as opponents given what they mean to the business as a whole. That being said, this was a decent match for Hogan’s standards.

Race also appeared at the second Survivor Series in 1988.

Team Jake Roberts vs. Team Andre the Giant

Jake Roberts, Ken Patera, Jim Duggan, Scott Casey, Tito Santana

Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, Dino Bravo, Mr. Perfect, Harley Race

Casey is a jobber who is here because B. Brian Blair left the company. Blair was on the team because JYD left, so Casey is the third string guy. Rude and Patera start things off. This would be around the time when Gorilla suggested that Patera retire because he wasn’t any good anymore, so you can tell what kind of stuff we’re about to get. Rude gets thrown around a bit and it’s off to Bravo, as Gorilla implies Patera made him retire. Now there’s a trivia answer for….somebody I guess.

Bravo bangs on Patera a bit before it’s off to Perfect (called Curt Hennig as well here) with a double ax off the top. Patera shrugs it off and drags Hennig over to hand him off to Roberts. Jake works on the arm as he was known to do before bringing in Santana. Tito and Hennig have as good of a match as you would expect them to have with Tito getting the better of it, only to miss a charge in the corner. Hennig elbows him down and it’s off to Bravo again. Talk about bringing the talent level down.

Off to Roberts who hits Bravo once and then brings in Casey to really cripple the level. A monkey flip doesn’t work for him and now he gets his first real opponent on PPV: Harley Race. Race beats up Casey like he’s a grizzled veteran who is here because his investment went south and he’s working for the guy who caused him to lose all his money and is now beating up some jobber who got a spot on a major show because there was no one else available.

Rude comes in again and it’s time for everyone to get their shots in on Casey. This has to be some kind of initiation or something. Hennig headbutts him and hurts himself in the process. Back to Tito as the match gets a lot better all of a sudden. Did I mention I really like Santana? Patera helps with a double elbow to Perfect and it’s off to Duggan to fire up the crowd again. Hennig tries various things to Duggan’s head which don’t work at all. See, when Duggan does it he follows up. When Casey does it, he doesn’t do anything. One is a legend, the other is never heard of again.

Off to Casey again for some contractually obligated reason more than likely and he’s immediately drilled by Rude which makes my day better. Casey misses a charge and it’s off to Tito with a cross body. Duggan beats up Hennig as well but he misses an elbow. Duggan and Henig hit heads and it’s off to Rude vs. Patera. Patera throws Rude around but misses a charge and gets Awakened for the first elimination.

Casey tries to come in and jump Rude, only to be sent into the heel corner and beaten up even worse than before. Off to Race who hits a good old man dropkick before bringing Bravo back in. Side slam hits and it’s 5-3. See you later Casey, have fun training that Booker T guy. It’s back to the bread and butter of this match with Perfect vs. Tito…the latter of whom immediately tags out and brings Duggan back in. Ok then.

Hennig kicks Duggan in the face which he sells for some reason, but the punches that follow aren’t sold and Duggan gets all fired up. Duggan, ever the lunkhead though, gets fired up near Andre who chokes him down immediately. Back to Hennig for a second and then Rude comes in for his offensive contribution. Duggan finally clotheslines Rick down and it’s a double tag for Tito and Race.

Since Race is a genius, he moves aside of a charging Tito and slams Tito’s head into Andre’s. Well that’s one thing he’s good for. Dino comes in again but misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped for two. Back to Race for the piledriver for two and he whips Tito in, only to get forearmed out of nowhere for the quick elimination, making it 4-3. Andre climbs in, grabs Tito, chokes him a bit and sits on his chest. For reasons that no one could figure out, Tito tries a freaking sunset flip. Pain immediately comes to his chest and Andre makes it 4-2 (Andre, Dino, Rude, Hennig vs. Duggan and Roberts).

Duggan comes in and clotheslines Andre into the ropes, where he and Jake both get in some open shots on the Giant. Jake chokes away but Andre gets his arms free. Andre, being a smart giant, tags out after getting beaten up that badly and brings in Rude. Rude whips Jake into the buckle a few times as we hear about the Cheryl Roberts story. Off to Hennig with some chops and Andre kicks a bit from the apron because that’s what evil giants do.

Hennig slingshots Duggan throat first into the bottom rope so Andre can choke a bit more. Off to Bravo who gets beaten on by a suddenly fired up Roberts. The short clothesline looks to set up the DDT but Rude leans in to break it up. Rick comes in legally now and stomps away like he’s still in Memphis, which means very slowly with a lot of playing to the crowd in between.

Dino piledrives Jake for two but an elbow drop misses and here’s Hacksaw again. Duggan sends him into the corner and literally throws him out before clotheslining him down. The Three Point Clothesline is loaded up but Frenchy Martin, Bravo’s manager, hooks Duggan’s foot. Bravo slams Duggan on the floor so Duggan hits Bravo with the 2×4 for the DQ, leaving Roberts alone 3-1. Bravo manages to get a tag to Hennig before Jake can pin him so Roberts punches Perfect instead.

The DDT is loaded up but Perfect makes the corner and it’s off to Dino again. Jake, likely drunk, tries a test of strength with a guy billed as the world’s strongest man. When that doesn’t work Jake tries another DDT but is backdropped this time instead. Back to Rude and Jake heads to the floor to think. Well he is considered a master of psychology so thinking is what he does. That and cocaine.

Back in and Rude takes over again, hitting a gutbuster on the Snake. Would that even hurt a snake? Off to a bearhug but Jake quickly thumbs him in the eye. Rude hits a top rope punch and swivels the hips a bit, only to have his tights pulled down and DDTed for the elimination. Andre comes in and hammers Jake before choking him in the corner….for a DQ. It’s two on one which means nothing as Hennig immediately covers Jake for the pin and the final elimination.

Rating: C-. The lower half of this match being pretty weak really hurts it. Other than Jake, Andre and Duggan, at this point most of these guys didn’t mean much. Rude was on his way up but he was still a glorified midcard guy here. Just not a very interesting match and it definitely didn’t need to go half an hour.

Race would be injured in a match against Hulk Hogan, mostly ending his career. Here he is on fumes at the 1989 Royal Rumble.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race was King (a former title) but got hurt and the crown went to Haku. This is his chance to get it back in a one time only return to the ring. Harley shoves over Haku’s throne to start and the brawl is on. Back in and Race pounds away before suplexing Haku down for two. Heenan manages both guys here but Race is kind of the face by default.

They head to the floor again with Race being sent into the post and chopped a few times. Haku sends him back to the floor after a few seconds in the ring as we stall for a few moments. More chops have Race in trouble as Jesse talks about Hogan injuring Race, which is only kind of true (Hogan was in the match when Race was injured). Race no sells a headbutt and gets two off a piledriver. They collide again and Race falls to the floor as Heenan plays both sides, saying he’s for both guys when the other is out of earshot.

Back in and Race punches some more before getting two off a suplex. Haku gets sent to the floor again as it’s pretty clear there’s not much to this match. Race tries to piledrive Haku on the floor but gets backdropped as is the usual result for that move. A second attempt at a piledriver works for Race but not incredibly well. Back in and a clothesline puts Haku down for two but Haku comes back and misses a top rope headbutt. Race misses a headbutt of his own and charges into the superkick from Haku (looked great too) for the pin to keep the crown in Tonga or wherever he’s from.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible and the ending kick looked awesome, but other than that there wasn’t much to see here. Race was clearly old and banged up and he didn’t have a lot to work with in Haku. The crown was mostly a minor title that was only somewhat official anyway but this was a nice rub for Haku. Nothing to see here, but no one cares about anything but the Rumble tonight anyway.

Here’s his last big time match at Great American Bash 1990.

Harley Race vs. Tommy Rich

After this I’m pretty sure we get to the real part of the show. Race is in a singlet which I’ve never seen him wear before. Rich runs him over a few times and avoids an elbow. Off to a headlock and Race’s arm is rammed into the post. Race comes back with a piledriver which knocks Rich to the ramp. Rich gets suplexed out there as Race takes over.

Tommy comes back, knocking Race over the top and sending his head into the apron in the process. A middle rope elbow gets two. There’s a belly to belly from Race followed by a swinging neckbreaker. Rich comes back and tries a slam and they tumble to the floor. Back in, Rich tries a top rope cross body but Race rolls through for the surprise pin.

Rating: D. The match was boring and again I have no idea why it exists. We’re 45 minutes into a roughly three hour show and the best match has been a long Brian Pillman vs. Buddy Landell match. What’s the point of these things anyway? Wouldn’t they be better suited spaced out a bit? Unless they hope they’re having the best final two thirds ever, I really don’t understand this.

Harley Race is one of the wrestlers on almost everyone’s short lists for the greatest of all time. He’s been called one of the toughest men to ever set foot in a ring and it’s easy to see that holding up. Race is as perfect of a wrestler as you’ll ever find and is in the running for best ever. Not many people can say that but Harley Race can. One of the best ever, bar none.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #193
Date: June 21, 1999
Location: Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re in the Silv…..SUPERdome tonight with three weeks before Bash at the Beach. The main story is the old vs. new story kicking off last week with Bagwell pinning Flair in an eight man tag. Other than that it looks like we’re looking at Sid vs. Nash for the title at the PPV, which almost has to be better than Nash vs. Savage. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. Haven’t I suffered enough?

The Hummer shows up with Savage and entourage inside. Nash’s limo pulls up behind it and tries to find out who was driving but the Hummer gets away. So Sid wasn’t driving a few weeks ago?

Nitro Girls.

Master P. and some other rappers perform. These guys are so “bout it bout it” that they don’t even need microphones near their face to rap. This goes on WAY too long.

The announcers wonder about the Hummer.

Video on the music battle match from the Bash.

Lenny Lane is in the back and wondering what trunks to wear. Lodi comes in to give him a pep talk for his match with Meng later because Lenny can last a long time and has a lot of stamina. Lenny even gets a shoulder rub to warm him up. This is exactly what it sounds like.

DJ Ran.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

We start fast with Psychosis scoring with a shoulder and baseball slide to send Kidman out to the floor. Kidman slingshots back in with an ankle scissors and a great looking dropkick. A clothesline puts Psychosis on the floor for a HUGE dive to put both guys down. Back in with Kidman nailing a slingshot legdrop for two, only to have a superplex attempt countered into a super gordbuster.

They head outside again with Kidman going into the barricade, setting up a split legged moonsault out to the floor for a cool spot. Back in again with Kidman dropkicking the masked one out of the air, only to miss a charge. Psychosis puts him on top for a huge hurricanrana, only to try a powerbomb for some stupid reason. Kidman goes up for the Shooting Star….and Savage and Sid come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Nice opening match but the Savage Show must continue. Sid at least keeps Savage from needing the girls to do all the work for him to make Savage look a bit tougher. The match itself was entertaining but we’re running out of matches to see in the division. I still don’t get why Psychosis had to drop the belt back a week after winning the thing. Mysterio has defended it once since winning it nearly two months ago so why give it to him?

Sid cleans house until Sting comes out for the save. Nash follows him out but has a question for Sting: why didn’t he attack Savage and Sid? And why did he get out of a black Hummer last week to go after Rick Steiner? Sting denies driving the Hummer a few weeks ago, but Nash says he wasn’t accusing him. Nash even calls Sting Franchise Boy. There’s a Shane Douglas joke in there somewhere.

Piper and Flair make Savage/Sid vs. Sting/Nash for Bash at the Beach and Sting vs. Sid for tonight.

Clips of Piper and Flair teaming up.

Meng vs. Lenny Lane

The fans shout various homophobic terms at Lane. Lenny’s headlock is easily broken up and a headbutt works as well as you would expect. He tries going up top but gets Tongan Death Gripped down to the mat for a fast pin.

Lodi helps Lane to the back.

Nitro Girls.

More on who was driving the Hummer. No one knows if that wasn’t clear.

Here are Master P. and the No Limit Soldiers, complete with Brad Armstrong in fatigues. Master P. wants to sing Happy Birthday to his brother and asks a fan to come in to sing the song for him. We get a guy in a big black afro wig to sing Happy Birthday as the fans are just dying. Cue Curt Hennig in a Dallas Stars jersey with a present for P.’s brother. Hennig opens the gift and pulls out a cowboy hat. The brother throws it down and stomps on it, a brawl starts and cake is thrown.

You know, out of all the stupid stuff WCW did over the years, this might be the worst thought out feud ever. To begin with, Master P. allegedly cost hundreds of thousands of dollars per appearance, which usually lasted all of three minutes. Then he and his friends run around shouting HOODY HOO and sounding like a bunch of morons. But remember, they’re the good guys in this story.

The bad guys are the ring technicians who wear cowboy hats and gave what appeared to be a nice gift to Master P.’s brother. Keep in mind that WCW has weekly NASCAR updates on Thunder, but we’re supposed to boo the cowboys. This feud has been a disaster since the beginning and makes the least sense of anything I’ve seen in a long time.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera

Can we just keep this match on for the next two hours or so? This is Eddie’s in ring return after about six months off due to injury. A slap annoys Juvy and Guerrero stomps away to take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Juvy but he comes back with a hurricanrana for two. Eddie takes over again with a belly to back suplex and they head outside. After whipping Juvy into the barricade they head back inside for a sleeper from Eddie as we take a break.

Back with Juvy in an abdominal stretch but crawling over Eddie into a sunset flip for two. Eddie starts going after the legs before nailing a brainbuster for two. We hit the sleeper again until Guerrera counters with a belly to back suplex of his own. Juvy pulls Eddie down by the hair and nails a missile dropkick to send Eddie outside. A big suicide dive drops Guerrero and a springboard spinwheel kick does the same back inside. Eddie easily escapes the Juvy Driver though and grabs a neckbreaker, only to pick Guerrera up and spin him around before dropping him again. The Frog Splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Yep Eddie still has it. He looked as polished as he has in years here and had a good comeback match minus a lot of the character stuff he had going before the injury. Eddie looks like a guy that is ready to step up to the next level, but I can’t imagine that’s going to happen in this company.

Prince Iaukea vs. The Cat

We get the usual dancing and five seconds thing before Iaukea dropkicks Cat out to the floor. They slug it out on the floor with Iaukea going into the barricade before it heads back inside. Iaukea nails an enziguri and Samoan drop for two, only to have Sonny slip the shoe on Miller’s foot. A big kick to the head is enough to end Prince and thankfully get us out of here quickly.

Booker T. vs. Kanyon

Kanyon has a Tag Team Title with him. Booker gets one of the biggest pops I’ve ever heard him get. At least the fans can recognize talent. We get things going with Mr. T. armdragging him down and scoring with an awesome looking dropkick for two. The big forearm and a clothesline sends Kanyon to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kanyon running from Booker on the floor before coming back in to duck a sidekick and botch what looks like a Gory Stretch with Booker falling off his shoulder.

A neckbreaker and legdrop get two on Booker but he they head outside with Kanyon taking over again. Back in again and a surfboard has Booker in trouble but as usual, the hold doesn’t last long. Some suplexes and a slingshot elbow get two for Kanyon. Booker fights up with his usual and hits some kicks, only to have Page and Bigelow come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Again, good stuff for the most part until someone ran in for the DQ. That being said, Booker fighting off the forces of the Triad could be interesting and could be a boost for him, as long as he doesn’t just get back together with Stevie Ray to reform a tag team that stopped meaning anything about two years ago.

Something like a 3D on the title belt leaves Booker laying.

Gene brings out Piper and Flair, with entourage of course, for a chat. Piper uses the usual cheap lines about sports teams and mentions Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Flair says Buff is a beggar and that he was with Bagwell’s girlfriend last night. Buff comes out, gets beaten down and the brawl is on. Actually make that a match according to Flair. Good thing he and Piper just happened to be in their wrestling gear.

Buff Bagwell vs. Roddy Piper/Ric Flair

Flair tells Bagwell to make the same sounds his girlfriend made last night. The old guys hammer away on Bagwell and throw him out to the floor, only to have Anderson get nailed in the face. Buff comes back in with a sunset flip for two and nails all three guys. He slaps a Figure Four on Flair but Piper makes a fast save. Some atomic drops have Piper reeling but he comes back with that double ear clap. Piper puts on the sleeper and the crowd just dies. That was almost disturbing.

Bagwell fights up and hits Piper low before slamming Flair off the top. Off to Ric who ducks a dropkick and tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up for two. Piper comes back in as Malenko tries to come in but gets stopped by Mickie Jay. Dean is allowed to be Buff’s partner as Bagwell clotheslines Flair down and makes the hot tag to Malenko. Roddy breaks up a quick Cloverleaf attempt so Dean slaps it on Arn instead. The Blockbuster knocks Flair out but Piper hits Buff with brass knuckles and puts Flair on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well so much for Buff’s momentum. By momentum I mean winning one match after losing every big match he’s had for months of course but that’s a major push in WCW if you’re under 38 years old. Piper continues to drag down any match he’s in as his offense would have looked outdated in 1978.

Nitro Girls.

Tag Team Titles: Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Why would Kanyon work twice tonight when Bigelow is in their corner? Page takes Mysterio into the corner to start but takes a standing Lionsault and a dropkick to knock him into the ropes. Off to Konnan for the rolling clothesline but he walks into a jawbreaker. Kanyon comes in but walks into a drop toehold, setting up a springboard legdrop from Mysterio. For some reason Rey dives onto Bigelow, earning him a whip into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Mysterio headscissoring Page down, setting up a double tag to Kanyon and Konnan. Everything breaks down with Konnan cleaning house and throwing Mysterio into a Bronco Buster on Page. Kanyon comes back with a legdrop between Konnan’s legs as Bigelow gets in as well. Things settle down with Page hooking a front facelock on Konnan. Back to Kanyon who misses a moonsault, allowing for the real hot tag to Mysterio for a springboard seated senton to Page. Rey dives onto Bigelow again but with better results this time. Everything breaks down again but the cowboys come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Yet another DQ to mess up what could have been a decent match. Konnan and Mysterio have nice chemistry together and putting them up against three guys at once is a good way to make them look like underdogs. Mysterio diving on Bigelow over and over again made him look stupid though and slowed things down.

Benoit, Saturn and the No Limit Soldiers run in for the save to try and validate the latter’s pay.

Sting vs. Sid Vicious

They stand around for a bit before Sting avoids a charge in the corner. Cue Savage and the girls to trip Sting and give Sid early control. Sting makes a quick comeback with a bulldog and kick to the face but Savage offers another distraction to let Sid choke away. Some kicks to Sting’s head and ribs have him in trouble but Sid stops to yell at the camera. Another boot misses and Sting hits the Splash, drawing in Savage for the DQ.

Rating: F. This match headlined a show in 1989 and it’s headlining another show in 1999. Is that really all WCW can come up with? And a DQ finish to make sure neither guy has to look bad? The fact that it’s the fourth DQ on the show doesn’t help either, as it makes things all the more frustrating. This was barely a match.

Luger comes in for the save and a long staredown and insults wrap things up. Sting: “WE’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU!” A crotch chop ends the show. Seriously.

Overall Rating: D. I’m not sure how to describe this show. It was better than the recent weeks due to less stupid stuff going on but the in ring stuff was even more frustrating. Half of the matches ended via DQ, two ended with foreign objects to the head, and one of the clean wins lasted all of ninety seconds. This show has almost completely stopped being about wrestling and is now about every old, over the hill wrestler they can dig up. The old vs. new stuff was still around but it’s clear that the story is taking a backseat to the other old guys. Speaking of which, where did Nash disappear to? He was just gone after half an hour.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #192
Date: June 14, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re past the Great American Bash and there is no way things can get any worse than the got last night. I mean I do not believe it’s possible for a promotion to get less interesting and worse than things have been for the last five weeks or so. The main story seems to be Nash vs. Savage/Sid, which should be more interesting due to Sid being totally nuts and semi-mobile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of recap stills from last night.

Savage, Sid and the girls arrive.

DJ Ran babbles about the cowboys vs. rappers last night.

Brian Adams/Vincent vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

Adams runs Hennig over with a hard shoulder to start so Curt tries a headlock. That’s fine with Brian who sends him crotch first into the post, causing Hennig to slowly crawl over for a tag. Windham runs Vincent over with a Vader standing clothesline but takes too much time going up, allowing Vincent to actually slam him down.

Back to Curt for some shots to the back and the Hennig neck snap, followed by a belly to back suplex from Barry. Vincent gets dropped by what was supposed to be a double clothesline, but it needs to actually connect to be a clothesline. Vincent comes back with some clotheslines of his own to Barry and we get a hot tag to Brian. Did the Black and White turn face and I wasn’t told? Brian cleans house for a bit until Barry plants him with a DDT. Duncum pulls Adams to the floor and a cowbell shot to the head is enough to pin Vincent.

Rating: D+. When did the Black and White actually get energy in their legs? Granted the match wasn’t anything special but what do you expect from these four? Hennig and Windham can be good when they’re motivated, but that’s a very rare thing to see anymore. I do like them making it more of a stable than just a team but it’s going to get better.

Here’s a press conference from earlier today where Master P. signed with WCW. This is exactly what you would expect, including Master P. using a run on sentence that goes on for about 45 seconds. Mysterio, Konnan and Bischoff have some appreciative lines as well. The fact that this goes to commercial while P. is still talking tells you everything you need to know.

Here are Savage and the girls with something to say. Savage says he’s the boss and last night was crowned the uncrowned World Champion. He talks about how awesome the girls are and has George gyrate a bit in a demonstration of how Nash looked after the elbow, complete with a cover and pin. Savage rambles about being vicious from here on out and says the Wolfpack sucks. This went WAY too long and made Savage sound even crazier than normal.

Nitro Girls.

Pictures of the dogs from last night. Please, anything else.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman

Well this is indeed something else. Morrus pounds him down in the corner to start and spins Kidman inside out with a few clotheslines. A running splash in the corner has Kidman reeling but he finally hooks a headscissors to get a breather. Morrus gets dropkicked out to the floor but he catches Kidman’s plancha. Kidman is rammed back first into the post and Jimmy slides in a chair. A distraction lets Morrus drop Kidman ribs first on the top of the chair but Kidman counters a powerbomb and hits the Shooting Star for the pin. At least hold your ribs dude.

Rating: D. Is that really the end of the Morrus attacks the cruiserweights stuff? They had that mess of a battle royal a few weeks back and this is the best they can do? Like I said, Kidman just popped up and finished the match without even holding his ribs. I expect that from Morrus but not Kidman.

DJ Ran.

Here are Flair and Anderson with something to say. Ric threatens to make the eternally present fat boy’s mom go WOO. He’s here tonight to offer Roddy Piper the Vice Presidency so here’s Piper with a full pipe and drums band. Piper accepts the job and talks about how great the old days were with Flair.

This brings out Dean Malenko who says that if someone was waking up from a fifteen year coma and turned on this show, they wouldn’t think anything had changed. Good line. Other greats have passed the torch but Flair wants to hold it forever. That’s not cool with guys like Dean so he’s going to take the torch no matter who likes it.

Anderson says Dean needs to cool it or instead of being a Horseman, he’ll be one of their victims. Arn stands at Flair’s side but Piper gets in Dean’s face. The brawl is on and we see Benoit and Saturn coming to the ring, only to get jumped by the Jersey boys. Bagwell comes out but gets beaten down as well.

Let’s stop for a few seconds here and look at how stupid this is. The young guys are perfectly fine here as everything they said and did made sense. That brings us to Piper, who has spent the last month and a half trying to get Flair’s power and even had him committed to a mental hospital, but now he’s perfectly fine with being Vice President, basically giving him the exact same authority he’s had for over a year now as Commissioner? Isn’t he still Commissioner and in theory second in power?

Unless I’m missing something, Piper has the same power he had before but is now clearly under Flair and has stopped fighting because he and Flair used to be buddies fifteen years ago. If there’s one thing Piper has never been over the years, it’s someone who falls in line and gives up a fight. This is so totally out of character for him and makes the last month and a half totally worthless. Things like these are the ones that make this such a frustrating era for WCW.

Bischoff joins commentary.

Video on Norton vs. Miller

Cat vs. Scott Norton

Why this didn’t happen last night isn’t clear. Miller puts on the red shoes for a dance before the match. Norton charges to the ring with a growl and hammers on Miller to start fast. Cat bails to the floor but gets sent face first into the post and then the barricade. Some chops have Miller in even more trouble before they head back inside. Sonny offers a distraction so Miller can hit a low blow. He loads up the red shoe but the referee goes down because we’re not overbooked enough yet. A superkick to the face with a red shoe is enough to pin Norton.

Rating: D. Miller becoming the dancer is a bit more interesting than just being a karate guy but it doesn’t make stuff like this any easier to sit through. These two have feuded for weeks now and I’m really not sure why they’re even fighting at this point. Is it over who is tougher? It’s really taken three or four matches to answer that?

Nitro Girls.

Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer

Hammer powers him down to start with a slam and a clothesline, followed by the enhanced Vader model clothesline. Disco comes back with some shots to the back and a great looking clothesline, only to get caught in the Flashback (Alabama Slam). Hammer stays on him with some basic power stuff before putting on a sleeper. This is stupid given that Disco’s finisher is a jawbreaker, which is exactly what he uses to get out.

It’s not the finishing jawbreaker though so Disco has to avoid a charge in the corner and then screw up a neckbreaker. He somehow swung the wrong way. The guy has like four moves and he screwed one of them up? Really? The Last Dance is broken up and we actually get a ref bump in this match. Now the neckbreaker connects but the referee counts a slow two. Hammer grabs a belly to back suplex and a handful of tights for the pin.

Rating: F. We really needed all that in Disco Inferno vs. Van Hammer and Disco managed to screw up a swinging neckbreaker? Why are we seeing so many heel vs. heel matches on this show anyway? Come to think of it, there really aren’t that many faces on the roster, or at least not many worth much. But cool heels are the same as faces right?

Disco Stuns the referee post match.

Dennis Rodman might be coming back. Good grief does he have to?

Stills of the Tag Team Title match.

Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobs

The fight starts on the floor with Finlay getting dropped throat first on the barricade. Knobs sends him into the steps and they head inside for the first time. Finlay comes back with a hard clothesline, only to have his shoulder go into the post. The nasty one stays in control with his boring offense before charging into the corner. Of course Finlay can’t get in any further offense as he charges into a powerslam. Finlay avoids a splash and stomps away before getting two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Cue Hak for a kendo stick to Knobs’ head, giving Finlay the quick pin.

Rating: D. Well, at least it was short. The problem here is an old one in wrestling: with no title or anything to fight for, these are just one off matches that don’t lead anywhere and don’t change anything. One guy beats another then a third guy wins and then it’s back to the first loser. They’re running in circles and it got old after about ten seconds.

We cut to the crowd and Sable of all people is in the front row.

Here’s Nash for his variety of catchphrases. He’s not out here for Savage though. Instead he wants to talk to Sid face to face. Sid pops up on screen for some jibber jabbering and the vague mention of maybe a title match down the line.

Recap of Flair vs. Piper from last night. Buff was going to get the ball if Piper won, then he cost Piper the match. What does that say about Bagwell?

DJ Ran.

Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Buff Bagwell

That’s quite the tag match. The old guys run away to start until we get down to Flair vs. Benoit. We get the required chop off until Benoit backdrops him into the heel corner. Off to Page who has to be saved from a Crossface attempt. Piper comes in and gets his wish to face Bagwell, only to get punched out to the floor a few seconds later. An atomic drop to Piper sends us to a break.

Back with Benoit escaping a belly to back suplex and rolling up Flair for two. We get the pinfall reversal sequence with Benoit coming out on the bad end of it. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up again, only to have Benoit nail him with an enziguri and put him in the Figure Four instead. Everyone comes in and the good guys put on Figure Fours in a cool spot (Malenko screwed up at first). Bigelow makes the save with a legdrop though and it’s off to Kanyon to work on Chris. A middle rope Fameasser drops Benoit and Kanyon brings in Page as the heels have him in trouble.

Flair comes back in for chops before it’s back to Kanyon, who sends Benoit into the discus lariat from Page. Piper gets the tag for his lame punches before it’s back to Page for a stomping. We get the required missed tag to Saturn, allowing the Jersey boys to suplex Benoit down. Page goes up for the middle rope jump that is clearly designed to jump into a raised boot and nothing else, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down until it’s only Malenko and Flair left in the ring. Ric knocks him out to the floor but turns around and takes the Blockbuster for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with the young guys FINALLY getting a big win. However, this brings up the important question: how can Flair possibly come back from this devastating loss to a fluke move from a former champion that has been rising up the card for years? I mean, clearly such a loss completely cripples Flair’s career and ends any potential he’s ever going to have right?

Nitro Girls.

Hak vs. Rick Steiner

No TV belt again this week but Rick does use a collar to nail Hak upside the head. Some chair shots send Hak up the aisle and Steiner takes him backstage. They hit each other with various metal objects before moving on to a big SUV. Rick takes him to the top of the car and rams Hak head first onto the hood. Hak staggers around and falls over a motorcycle, freaking Bischoff out all over again.

Barely able to stand, Hak finds what looks to be a piece of a car engine and chokes Rick with it, only to get choked right back. They fight over to the Hummer from last week (yet we still don’t know who drove it?) and Hak is knocked through the roof. The door opens and it’s STING inside. A few ball bat shots drop Rick and Sting throws him through the side ofM an RV which just happened to be there. I’m assuming the match has been thrown out at this point.

They come back to ringside so Sting can beat on him with the bat some more. Sting: “What’s black and brown and looks good on Sting? A doberman! What’s black and white and looks good on Steiner? STING!” The beating continues until Sting picks Steiner up on his shoulder and carries him to the back.

DJ Ran.

Psychosis/La Parka vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The No Limit Soldiers and Master P. are out in full force. Mysterio and Psychosis get things going with Rey climbing onto his shoulders and crawling downing into a sunset flip for two. Psychosis gets sent out to the floor and it’s off to Konnan vs. La Parka with Konnan actually climbing the corner for a Sin Cara armdrag. A headscissors puts Psychosis down and Rey nails a springboard legdrop to La Parka.

Back in and Psychosis gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over and La Parka adds a kick to the head of the head. Konnan slips by him and makes a tag off to Rey, setting up a double dive to the outside. Back in and Konnan beats up both guys with ease before stereo headscissors get stereo pins on Psychosis and La Parka.

Rating: D. This was pretty messy as I could barely keep track of who was legal for most of the match. Psychosis and La Parka were mostly there as pinballs to bounce around the ring and never be in any real trouble. The Master P. schilling from Bischoff is going to get old in a hurry but at least he was a fairly big name back then.

The Soldiers come in to celebrate but we hear Rap Is Crap as Hennig and Windham have taken over DJ Ran’s booth. Finally they do something worthwhile. The rap guys storm the booth and P. shouts HOODY WHO or whatever it is and the fans are just silent. A rap song is played and that’s about it.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending of course. Savage and the girls come out and there’s no Sid. Randy says everyone knows he pinned Nash last night and wants another shot right now. Nash says come get your belt so Savage says he’s the Unified World Champion. He gets in and we have a bell, so I guess this is a new match.

WCW World Title: Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash

Nash hammers away in the corner until George comes in for a distraction so Savage can hit him low. Miss Madness’ dropkick hits Savage by mistake and here’s Sid as well. The beatdown is on and the match is quickly thrown out.

Sid and Savage destroy Nash until Sting finally comes out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was another lame show and the Piper stuff is stupid but that eight man was a nice glimmer of hope. Unlike the paranoid guys in the main event, Flair is at least smart enough to know that he can lose one match and then cut a good promo to make people hate him all over again and get his heat right back. If we can get Piper off screen and let Sid and Nash have their watch big man matches (they have to be better than Savage vs. Nash), things could actually be tolerable around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This is a show that I remember watching a lot as a kid but I think my tape ran out about halfway through it. Stupid VHS. Anyway, the main event tonight is a battle for AMERICA with a bunch of foreigners (like from that far off nation of Hawaii) against a bunch of Americans. Other than that we have Bret’s team vs. Shawn’s team. No really. We’re mostly back to the team vs. team formula this year. Let’s get to it.

I remember watching this when I was a kid and I always liked the theme of going through the skeleton of a building. It looks cool.

Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over Razor’s IC Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel and Adam Bomb are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here. Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. He’s got a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does too. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Oh yes Bobby is feeling it tonight. Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fallaway slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in something which shouldn’t surprise anyone. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Whippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team, somehow thinking coherently given how many drugs must be in them, actually uses common sense and lets them fight. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) is like boy please.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Kid in there against the biggest and strongest opponents? A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3. Write that down as you may never see Nash do another clean job.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to Martel. Make that IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the Elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Adam Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. Really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

Shawn is in the back with the IC Title. There are two of them at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which is a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights (that’ll make sense later) vs. the Hart Family.

We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack. Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.

Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.

Ray Combs talks about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Helen is there too. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow. While Combs bombs out there, here’s the idea of this feud.

Bret and Jerry Lawler had been feuding for months and it was building up to this show with Bret’s family coming to help him against the King and his Knights. Then some chick said Lawler raped her and Lawler had to be pulled from this show (the girl later admitted she made it up and Lawler wasn’t in trouble), so Shawn, the guy Bret had feuded with last year, was brought in as a replacement. It was likely the best option they had but it was completely out of place after the months of build they had set up.

Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights

Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight

The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed here. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.

Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s off to Keith for an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.

Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so it’s off to Blue vs. Bret. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Back to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.

Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black (who is not Kane as has been mentioned before) who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before the Red Knight pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package both get two for Bret and he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.

A spinwheel kick puts Black down and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red Knight and Owen works over the leg. Back to Bret and they make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues. I’ve been watching this show for years and for the life of me I can’t stop confusing Bruce and Keith.

Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue.

Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder. Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.

Blue stays on the arm including a legdrop on it and a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher. Off to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.

Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.

Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down but Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.

It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick puts Bruce down but that’s still not a finisher and only gets two. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.

Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted and pinned. All of the brothers and Stu go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.

Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and Shawn gets crotched on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.

Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen loses it as well.

Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan which was his trademark at this point.

We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking his two year undefeated streak. Tatanka got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Taker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre for no apparent reason. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush. This must be the intermission.

Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t quite work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are the champions and they’re defending against the Bodies (Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray). It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. Things are going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, which is where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s all Express other than the first fifteen seconds or so. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a rana for two.

Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton people. The guy was a master at it. A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson.

Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW, but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. Four years ago I stopped watching this midway through but I’m going to get through it this time. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. Booger comes back in and sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: Awe. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. There’s nothing else I can say about that and I’m not going to try.

As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose actor has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.

The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.

The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that.

Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the tag champions and have Johnny Raven Polo as their manager. Yoko is world champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yoko and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yoko out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga who died in the last year or so. Rick gets knocked to the floor but comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Taker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott. Taker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Borga pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yoko comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yoko eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Taker at all yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yoko misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yoko who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Taker.

Taker hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yoko suplex Taker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Taker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yoko goes for another, and Taker moves. A clothesline puts Yoko on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Taker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Taker and Yoko brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Taker was the main draw of the match and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yoko vs. Taker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon match, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian (insert your own lame Obama joke here). This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point. Next year would be another head scratching show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS

Original: B

Redo: B

Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: D

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B

Redo: B-

Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: Awe

All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D

It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1993-usa-usa-usa/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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