History of Survivor Series Count-Up – 2006 – Who Thought Batista vs. Booker Was A Good Idea?

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, JBL, Michael Cole

It’s the 20th show in case you were wondering for some bizarre reason that I can’t comprehend. With the 2006 show, the only real difference is the induction of ECW into the company. It brings the third brand and at this point is still complete with the Originals and Heyman etc. Also there are some new faces such as Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Punk, MVP and Kennedy.

There are three Survivor Series matches here and the main event is Booker vs. Batista which had been done about a million times already but they figured what the heck we might as well do it again. Other than that, there’s not a lot here that jumps off the page at me.

Oh DX is here again as they’re feuding with Rated RKO, having just finished fighting Vince and Shane. Other than that, there’s just not a lot here. It looks kind of generic but sometimes cards like that are best. Here we go again as we’re very close to wrapping this series up.

The intro video is about as bland as you can get, but in this case it’s actually working. They talk very briefly about how this is the 20th Survivor Series and a new generation is here, followed by a quick build up for all seven matches. There’s not a lot here but it’s a nice change of pace from all of the stupid videos about Survival that we’ve heard for the last two or three years. After the four (ECW is left out) commentators talk about their show’s big matches, we’re ready to go.

Spirit Squad vs. Legends

The Spirit Squad is comprised of Kenny Dykstra, Johnny Jeter who was pretty awesome in OVW, a short guy named Mikey, and a guy named Nick, who would eventually be known as Dolph Ziggler. Spellcheck has never heard the name Dolph? Has it never seen Rocky 4? That’s just sad. Anyway, there’s also a 5th guy on the outside that never did anything. On the other side we have Arn Anderson on the floor with Dusty Rhodes, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons (really?) and Ric Flair in the ring.

Apparently Simmons was supposed to be Roddy Piper but he had been diagnosed with cancer so naturally he couldn’t wrestle. Ok in that case it’s a bit better. Naturally this is over the respect for the old timers thing which is about as basic of a storyline that will almost always work as you could ask for. Dusty comes out to his American Dream music so I’m happy. Simmons is rocking the catchphrase shirt and the APA music.

Anderson comes out to the Horsemen theme, so this is officially a cool show. Dang that music is awesome. I really love kayfabe as Flair and Anderson have tried to cripple Dusty at least half a dozen times over the years yet now they’re his partners. That could only work in wrestling. The Spirit Squad were a bunch of male cheerleaders. Yep, that’s about all that needs to be said. It amuses me greatly to see Ziggler in there looking like that.

We start out with Simmons against Mikey, because that’s a great way to open up a PPV. Ross says there’s an unlimited amount of combinations that could occur. Actually there are sixteen combinations that could happen while the match is still going on, but who am I to question the great mathematician known as Jim Ross? Ron beats down the whole heel team but gets tripped and goes after Kenny.

After he and Arn beat up Mikey, he’s counted out despite the referee never actually saying ten. Well I guess that’s as good of a way to get rid of him as any other, but I would have liked it to have lasted longer than two minutes. Mitch the manager gets thrown out too so there we go. Arn gets the same and I want to massacre that referee. This is kind of overkill here and even the fans are chanting bull.

When you can get a Philly crowd to cheer for you, you have officially won. On a replay we see that Anderson beat up Mitch. So wait, he can get thrown out for beating on someone not even in the match? What sense does that even begin to make? If your answer is none at all, YOU’RE RIGHT! Think about it: he’s getting in trouble for beating someone up that isn’t officially involved in the match. So could he be thrown out of the match for getting into a bar fight? See, it makes no sense.

Anyway, we’re up to Slaughter against Mikey now. Dusty gets a solid pop when he comes in, thankfully wearing a shirt. Flair gets less of a pop, but the chops make up for it. The heels are getting destroyed here which is just what shouldn’t have happened. I get that they’re legends, but isn’t the job of guys like these to put over young talent? I guess not as Sarge has the Cobra Clutch on Nicky. Man these guys are hard to tell apart other than Kenny.

I love how in today’s company, this would be so one sided the other way that it’s not even funny. With the referee distracted, Johnny comes in and kicks Slaughter in the back of the head and Nicky gets the easy pin to make it 4-2. In one of the stupidest looking things I’ve ever seen, with Nicky still down from the cover, Dusty casually walks in, measures him, and drops a very slow elbow on him to get the pin.

Seriously? That’s all it takes? A single elbow drop to beat someone? I get that Dusty was limited at best in the ring but he couldn’t pick him up and throw some punches and slam him or something? A freaking elbow drop gets the pin? Come on now. For the life of me I don’t get what the big deal about Kenny was. He was ok at best and that’s about all. After the really stupid (and insanely slow) Flip Flop and Fly, Dusty gets rolled up and Kenny pins him.

So now we have Flair vs. Kenny, Mikey and Johnny. Which of the jobbers is Flair going to take out first? It’s Mikey who gets taken out by a roll up with Flair’s feet on the ropes for a nice old school cheating pin. Flair truly was a master at taking something as simple as that and making it look cool and so completely evil when he was a heel. Sometimes less is more and Flair was the best there ever was in that area.

Ross points out that the Legends team had 21 world title reigns between them, but Flair has 16 of those. That’s just amusing. Flair hooks a quick inside cradle to make this Johnny vs. Ric Flair. Hmm, I’m not sure how this is going to go. I have to go with the guy in green. No way some old guy beats him is there? Oh never mind.

Even I can’t make this sound funny. The figure four gets the old guys the win about 45 seconds later. The Squad beats up Flair afterwards and surprisingly no help comes out for Flair.

Rating: C+. Eh this was what it was. They only had about ten minutes which is what it should have been. Other than Simmons, who wasn’t supposed to be in there anyway, all of the eliminations kind of made sense. Having Flair be the winner is ok I guess as he was at least an active wrestler at the time. His picking apart of the team at the end was great stuff as nothing he did was flashy or anything like that as he beat all three guys using very basic stuff.

That’s something that a lot of guys now could learn actually. The Figure Four was appropriate as he shouldn’t have gone for that with others around and he didn’t. When he was outnumbered he used fast stuff but once things were even he used his best. That’s terrific thinking there and it worked quite well. This wasn’t really about anything but nostalgia, but sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that, and this is a great example of one of those times.

Cole says that Philly is one of three cities to host all of the Big Four, with the others being New York City and Boston. That’s actually pretty cool.

Recap of Benoit vs. Chavo, which goes like this. Chavo and Vickie had allegedly been doing jack with Eddie’s estate or something like that which was never elaborated on. Benoit comes back from a hiatus and wins the US Title. Chavo also says that Rey is trying to steal the Guerrero name because that would be something evil.

We’ll of course ignore that Chavo and Vickie have been doing that for their whole careers but whatever. Anyway, Chavo injured Rey’s knee and put him out, so Benoit came to his rescue. That brings us here.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chave Guerrero

Vickie actually has some pretty awesome cleavage. Since this is Benoit, it’s naturally an intense match. There’s not a lot to say here. It’s really just a lot of strikes from both guys mixed with the occasional attempt at the Crossface. I know that’s not a lot to go on but I really have nothing to say here. It’s insane to think that Benoit would be gone in less than a year. This is where Chavo is at his best: in there with another guy of about his size and just letting it go.

Both guys can wrestle as well as anyone else and Chavo, or Shavo as JBL refers to him as because he can’t pronounce his name for some reason, really is better than he’s given credit for. Vickie interferes about a dozen times here and it’s rather annoying. JBL compares it to cheating on your wife with some hot chick on the road. Dang what must his wife have thought of that line? Benoit misses the headbutt because of Vickie leading to Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash for two.

A massive Eddie chant breaks out because of that. Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter and gets shoved off, slamming into Vickie THANK GOODNESS. Chavo goes to check on her and the Crossface ends this. It was short but quite intense which was where Benoit shined.

Rating: B. Like I said, this was short but intense. Benoit could fight with the best of them but he could also wrestle better than the best of them which is what made him so successful. Chavo certainly can go too and it’s a shame that he’s a comedy jobber to this day. I really do feel bad for him, but he’s getting on TV so you can’t blame him for that. Solid match that was just long enough to not feel short.

The Elimination Chamber is coming back at December 2 Dismember. Oh dear this was awful in every sense of the word. Also, it’s A WEEK LATER. There’s a rant coming one day on that show as it’s about as much of a debacle as humanly possible, but I’ll save that for later.

Edge and Lita are with Todd Grisham. Tonight is Lita’s last match despite the fact that she’s the Women’s Champion. Edge offers some weak Philly jokes before doing the smarter thing and kissing Lita. He rants a bit more while Cryme Tyme is behind them sneaking into her locker room and stealing her stuff.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Like I said, this is Lita’s last night with the company. Mickie is at this point the queen of the short skirts which gave us some AWESOME visuals for a long time. For the life of me I don’t get how people don’t think she’s hot. Mickie is flat out gorgeous on so many levels. Granted Lita is somehow hotter which defies logic. Lita’s music truly does rock. This likely is going to go quick as it’s about as obvious as possible that Mickie walks out with the belt here.

Allegedly Lita is leaving due to the fans hating her, which is actually pretty creative. The fans boo people all the time yet this time the fans are actually getting rid of someone they can’t stand. Trish had left two months prior to this, so this is more or less the ending of the Women’s Division’s best years. More or less they’re just going through the motions here and it’s not that interesting.

To be fair, at least Lita isn’t being a witch like Goldberg and Lesnar were when they left and having a horrible match more or less on purpose. She’s not exactly lighting the world on fire or anything, but she’s certainly out there trying and that’s all I can ask of her. Mickie surprisingly kicks out of both the Litarana and the moonsault to a decent pop. My goodness Mickie has a nice figure.

After some back and forth reversals, Mickie hits the jumping DDT to get the pin and the division is officially in big trouble. That’s not a knock on Mickie by any means, but other than her around this time there was absolutely no one that could carry a decent match. She and Melina traded the belt a bit before Candice arrived and took the division over despite a rather severe lack of talent at the time.

Lita wants a mic as the fans are singing to her a familiar song. Actually she’s demanding that Lillian calls her the best Women’s Champion ever, which of course gets her booed again. It’s a shame she left because she was awesome as a heel. Anyway, after she whines a lot, Cryme Tyme, who was the hottest team on the planet around this time, comes out with the box, and it’s time for a HO SALE! Everything must go so have your money ready.

This really is hilarious as JTG has charisma to burn. He’s actually a lot better on the mic than he’s given credit for. They sell mainly underwear and bras with JBL offering $100 for some panties. They take the money and toss them into the crowd of course. Lita is freaking out over this as they pull out her vibrator. I love how the cops aren’t here as it’s clearly Lita’s stuff and she’s upset about this. The last item: it’s big, it’s wide, it’s cheap and you can fit your head in it.

It’s Lita’s box. As Cryme Tyme is leaving, you can hear some very profane in their song. That’s most interesting. You kind of have to feel bad for Lita that on her last night this is her sendoff, but dang that was great. It’s a shame that they never win jack in the ring, but geez they need to go back to doing stuff like this as it was hilarious.

Rating: B. Well, they made Mickie look strong and Lita looked fine on her way out so those two missions were certainly accomplished. Considering there was absolutely zero suspense about the ending, I’d say this was fine. There’s little drama but the match itself was fine.

Mickie was the future of the division so having her beat Lita clean after kicking out of her signature moves was the exact right thing to do. This was fine for what it was and the girls both looked hot. Couple that with a great comedy segment and this was sweet.

We go to an interview with Cole and Batista from earlier in the day. Cole asks a bunch of questions and Batista says nothing at all to anything. He just sits and stares straight ahead. After a clip of Booker attacking him on Smackdown, Batista still says nothing. Cole asks if he has anything at all to say and Batista takes off his glasses, looks at Cole and simply says “Tonight, I’m leaving as World Heavyweight Champion”. End of interview.

I LOVE that. How many times have you seen people do the exact same promo that absolutely nothing gets said in at all and it’s just the same stuff that we hear every month? This was directly to the point and made Batista look crazy, which is exactly the point. I loved this and it did its job to perfection.

Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO

DX, Hardys, Punk
Randy Orton, Edge, Mike Knox, Johnny Nitro, Gregory Helms

The feuds are pretty self explanatory here with Punk against Knox, Nitro against Jeff and Matt against Helms. We don’t get any stupid things like stories or anything like that. Why waste time there. Let’s just get theme music playing and get to it! Jeff is Intercontinental Champion here. For some reason Lillian calls Matt and Jeff Team Xtreme while Ross calls them their traditional names.

Punk gets a solid pop. He’s a rookie here and is still undefeated. Naturally since he’s young, over and good with a different gimmick, Vince decided that Hardcore Holly should outlast him in the Elimination Chamber. Heyman had wanted to put Punk over Big Show but Vince decided that Holly had more potential. For those of you keeping score, that’s Heyman – 1, Vince – 0. DX gets a big pop despite their entrance taking forever.

Who would have thought that at this time three years later Matt would be by far and away the least successful? After a longer version of the standard intro in which all of the faces try to get different sections of the crowd to cheer the loudest, we’re on to the heels. First of all though, we get a HUGE CM Punk chant. He gets to ask are you ready? That’s saying a lot. That really is a freaking stacked face team in there with what, 25 world titles between four guys?

Melina and Nitro come out first with her looking ridiculously hot. For some reason that no one gets, Kevin Federline was a character around this time and an A-list guy along with Nitro and Melina. Vince’s desperation to be in every facet of entertainment will never cease to amaze me. Helms, the Cruiserweight Champion and coming out to the most generic rock music of all time is next. Knox, sans awesome beard is somehow dating Kelly at this point. Her skirt might be 4 inches wide. That’s awesome.

Edge and Orton are the tag champions here and their mix of music is completely awesome. After about ten minutes of intros and another Punk chant we start off with Knox and HHH. HHH, being a selfish bastard as always, hits on Kelly. At the time Kelly was an exhibitionist character so she gets up to flash HHH but Knox cuts him off. He turns into Sweet Chin Music and it’s 5-4 after about 45 seconds. The fans are WAY into Punk here.

Naturally Hardcore Holly would get 10x the pops though. Shawn scares the heck out of Melina in a funny spot. Morrison is in now and the faces take their time beating the living tar out of him. Edge beats on Matt for a bit which is dripping with history. I’m glad the captains aren’t staying on the apron until the end. Matt is bleeding from the mouth. I guess that’s better than being From The South. Punk comes in and gets cheered louder than anyone in the match.

After a few seconds, Nitro is tapping fast. He needs to bring that back, even as a secondary move. I’m talking about the Anaconda Vice in case there was any confusion. Helms and Edge beat down Punk, but he still gets massive chants. They’ll be silent when Holly shows up though. You know he’s a real star. He won a tag title. Helms busts out a one leg version of what will become known as the Codebreaker. The RKO puts Punk more or less out cold but Shawn breaks up the pin.

Punk finally gets the tag to HHH who comes in for the first time. Naturally he cleans house for awhile but it’s time for the big brawl, leading to the Hardys taking everyone out. The Twist of Fate and Swanton takes out Helms to make it 5 vs. Rated RKO. The heels grab their belts and try to leave but the Hardys cut them off. They all beat on Edge for awhile and then he gets kicked in the face for the pin. Ross calls him a Canadian Piñata which is kind of funny.

Randy tries to run through the crowd but every face not named DX catches him and the DX Double Team Finishing Combination, which is a long way to say Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree take him out for the clean sweep. Massive posing and celebrating follows.

Rating: B. This was very fun. It was fast paced and it got the point over perfectly. Also it doesn’t bury Edge and Orton because not even two A-list guys like them could overcome an obstacle like this. This was a great example of perfect booking and a great Survivor Series match. Punk’s pops are the most surprising part here though as they were by far and away the biggest thing of the match.

Vince is a freaking idiot to not let Punk get pushed because he wasn’t a big enough name yet or whatever. That’s a great example of his ego taking control of his senses. Punk would get pushed, but they freaking pushed Holly over him, and for what? The idea of paying dues? Come on now Vince, listen to the people and grow up for a change.

Time to recap the only real push that Kennedy ever got. This was around the time where he kept beating world champions and he’s challenged Taker at his show. Oddly that’s not Mania but whatever. They did manage to make this a First Blood match which helps a lot as it allows Kennedy to potentially beat Taker but Taker doesn’t have to actually get pinned. As for the story here, Kennedy says that he’s young so he has to take out the old man that is Taker.

How many people have used this same story? That’s just a painful lack of creativity. Also I would be willing to bet that at some point in the promos leading up to this, Kennedy has said he’s not afraid of the dark because no one ever has been. In the highlight package, Kennedy says that at Survivor KENNEDY! Sorry I had to get that joke in at least once.

He says that at Survivor Series the decade and a half of destruction will end. Well that’s all well and good for a threat but the decade and a half ended the year before. We’re closing in on two decades now. Is Kennedy planning on bringing a time traveling Delorean to the match or something? That would be cooler than he is, so maybe it should happen.

Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy

Before the match, Kennedy is talking to Krystal about how this is the biggest match of his career when MVP comes up. I almost forgot: they were teaming a bit at the time and actually had a very short feud with the Brothers of Destruction. I’ll give you two guesses as to which team got their heads handed to them. Kennedy has Vaseline on his forehead which keeps fists from making full contact and thereby opening up his head. That’s actually pretty smart.

Kennedy is wearing the Norcal shirt so I’m making a good bit here. Why does the blood have to come from the head? I’d love to see someone come out with a needle and poke their opponent’s finger to get the win. I’d half die of laughter. Kennedy desperately needs his new music at this point as the one he’s using here is painfully generic. He takes off two of the turnbuckle pads as JBL calls him the future of Smackdown. Again, that’s something that when you hear it now it’s just incredibly funny.

Holy crap Cole made a Back to the Future reference! I swear that wasn’t foreshadowing or anything like that when I made the Delorean joke earlier. Wow that actually made my review. I’m stunned. As Taker comes out Kennedy pulls off another buckle covering. Taker really does look awesome here. After over ten minutes since we started talking about this match, the bell finally rings. Ok, that’s just WAY too long.

I have no interest in watching it after that long, but at least this looks cool so let’s get to it. They keep pointing out that this is anything goes. We get it guys, chill a bit. This is really just a brawl/Taker beating up Kennedy to start us off, which I guess makes the most sense. I’m liking this actually. It’s a lot better than I expected, and I think that’s because they’re going on a rather slow style which allows them to set up to a big finish.

That’s fine, although I’m not sure why Taker is working on Kennedy’s ribs. I guess it’s because he wants to slow him down? Does that makes sense? I guess in some way it does, but it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve rarely seen anyone bleed from the stomach, at least in a wrestling match. Taker is completely dominant here. Cole asks about the logic of attacking the ribs as well, which has JBL saying Taker wants Kennedy to bleed from the mouth.

That’s…..kind of stupid but it works I suppose. A low blow does little to slow down Taker, which I kind of like I think. It keeps the whole painless man thing working. Another low blow actually works though so the first was completely pointless. Kennedy goes to the floor and is bleeding from the mouth but MVP comes out with a towel to clean it up. I’m surprised it can clot that fast but whatever.

With Taker back in control, MVP comes in with a chair for no apparent reason and cracks Taker with it to bust him open. That was just odd. Post match, Kennedy beats on him a bit more and gets in his face with the mic for his catchphrase. Taker of course grabs him by the throat and it’s beatdown time.

Taker KILLS him with the chair which gets a holy crap chant from a Philly crowd. That says a lot. A tombstone ends this beating as Taker poses to close the segment with JBL talking about how awesome and scary Taker is.

Rating: C+. This started off solid but it felt like the ending came from absolutely nowhere. MVP coming down wasn’t needed as he was swinging for Kennedy and it was just a big mess. I get why they had Kennedy win here as it makes the most sense, but dang this was just a mess near the end.

For the life of me I don’t get why they booked it like that. This is a great example of a match that just needed more time to flesh itself out. Another five minutes or so would have made this much better.

Booker isn’t worried about Batista tonight.

Again with no transition, we’re at our penultimate match.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena, RVD, Kane, Lashley, Sabu
Big Show, MVP, Test, Finlay, Umaga

Dang those are some pretty motley crews of tag teams. Lashley is just becoming a bit deal, Kane is Kane, RVD is pretty worthless and Sabu just sucks. Test is the worst excuse for a big man ever and Finlay never really did anything other than have a midget for a son. This just doesn’t look good at all on paper. Let’s get this over with. Cena is between feuds with Show and Umaga here. We start with Umaga and Cena which would become the title feud very soon after this.

The Champ puts Umaga on the floor with a clothesline and the savage reacts savagely. He rips up the table of course and gets out a monitor which he blasts RVD, Sabu and Cena with for the fast DQ. Well that was abrupt. I get that they want to keep him hot but that’s a bit, shall we say extreme? I get what they’re trying to do here but it is a bit much. Granted it puts the faces at an early disadvantage so that’s mission accomplished if nothing else.

After that insanity we’re back with Finlay vs. RVD. Test comes in to beat on RVD a bit as Test continues to just be a failure on many levels. Vince to his credit though kept trying to push him despite him completely sucking at it. After about a minute in there Finlay comes back in just in case you missed him. Since he’s had his face kicked in for a good long while now Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth.

This is just not interesting at all for some reason despite there being a lot of names in there that are certainly A-list guys. I guess it’s that there’s no way Cena’s team is losing here but whatever. Van Dam hits one heck of a kick on Finlay which I think wasn’t supposed to be that solid. He caught him great though and it looked awesome. After a rather weak brawl, Kane interferes and hits a chokeslam on MVP to set up the Five Star and make it 5-3.

As RVD gets up though, Test hits the SICKEST big boot I’ve ever seen to take him out. Even Kane on the apron was knocked back by just looking at it. I mean Kane is just watching this and he looks like he got hit by a right hand and he’s only wincing because of how solid a kick that was. That was completely sick and no one would kick out of that. Based on that kick alone, I’d buy Test as a main event guy.

Go find a video of this match to see how sick that was. I’m impressed. Sabu immediately runs in and rolls Test up but since that’s a wrestling move it doesn’t work. On the floor Lashley hits a spear on Test to allow Sabu to hit a Tornado DDT to get the win on him, yet again crushing any semblance of a push that Test could have gotten. Show walks in and a simple chokeslam ends purple pants.

I know this is just listing stuff but there’s maybe 30 seconds between falls, which is counting people coming in, the moves and the counts. That leaves little time for anything else. Kane comes in. Oh in case you lost track, it’s Kane, Cena and Lashley against Finlay and Show. To follow up on that kick, RVD is just now leaving. That’s insane. Kane is 200lbs lighter than Show. That’s even scarier.

During a double choke from the big men, the man known as Little Bastard who will eventually be named Hornswoggle comes in and distracts the referee long enough for Kane to get smacked with the club and then chokeslammed to make this 2-2. This feels like they ran out of time in the middle of the match. Now we get Show against Cena with John being booed badly. After too long of a beating on Cena Lashley gets the hot tag and cleans house.

Show takes both guys down though to set up a pretty bad elimination for Finlay. The Irishman rolls Horny into the ring and is going to use him as a battering ram but Lashley hits a running punch to the ribs which is called a spear. Cena tries to FU Horny but Show stops him. Cena is just flat out hated in this town. Who would have seen that coming?

Once it’s 2-1, I don’t think Show got in any offense at all. Well, that’s a great way to make your champion look just before the first ECW PPV isn’t it guys? After the third Lashley spear of the match (learn some new moves for goodness’s sake) the 500lb FU ends this. Massive celebrations follow.

Rating: D+. What was the point of this? Cena was in the middle of his feuds here and the rest was just kind of a big preview of the awful Chamber match next week. Most of these guys were seemingly thrown together and told to go have a twelve minute Survivor Series match.

WAY too much of this was rapid fire eliminations which rarely if ever work. I really wasn’t too big on this but some cool spots make it ok. Also it’s short, which is a big problem but in another way it’s also the best thing about it. Try having that make sense.

Hey! There’s another PPV in a week and even though Vince is going to announce only two matches and go completely against what the fans are cheering for because he knows better. I mean really think about it. The fans are chanting for Punk despite HHH and HBK and one of the most popular tag teams of all time being in there, but he naturally didn’t get to last as long as that master of the ring, Hardcore Holly. Vince, grow up. You really need to.

We get what I guess you would call a recap of Booker vs. Batista. The idea is simple: Batista has tried twice or so already and hasn’t gotten the belt, so this is his last chance which gives the ending away already. This led to the ridiculously annoying Sharmell shouting ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!, about once every three seconds. It was a decent idea for a drinking game. Batista had been forced to relinquish the title nearly a year ago due to injury and hasn’t gotten it back yet. Yep, that’s about it.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Teddy Long comes out and says exactly the same thing I just did, but adds that if Booker is counted out or disqualified Batista gets the belt, again making sure that the ending of the Batista Bomb is set in stone. I’ve always shaken my head over the little spin move that Batista would do when he was jumping up and down. Of course it’s up and down as I don’t think you can jump any other way.

Actually according to AJ Styles’ old music you can jump to the left which you can also do in the Time Warp so there we are. That was a rather pointless rant but whatever. This is a long entrance and I’m not that interested in the match itself. King Booker was either brilliant or a complete failure and I’m still not sure which. If nothing else it gave him an actual gimmick. Before this he was just Booker T.

Cole says the following great line: “There’s the Animal, pacing like a caged animal.” Does that just sound stupid to anyone else? Good grief Booker is slower than Taker when it comes to entrances. Thankfully Batista jumps him so we get to this faster. Wow…this is very boring. There’s just nothing at all out of the ordinary here as it’s just Batista beats on Booker but as he goes for the Bomb Booker hits the floor. Wow how exciting.

This was around the time where Smackdown was almost universally looked down on for being awful and I can certainly see how that’s the conception. It’s been all Batista so far meaning that the Booker comeback is coming very soon. Yep there it is. This is just predictable. JBL tries to make us believe that this is the big match of the show.

There’s a big difference between going on last and being the main event, although there really wasn’t a main event on this card anyway so maybe that’s a fair statement to make. There’s a very limited reaction from the crowd here as for one thing this is in Philadelphia or as it’s more commonly known Smark city #1 or #2 based on your thoughts on New York City.

Batista hits a Jackhammer to even less of a reaction. Sharmell interferes and thereby gives Booker the advantage. After some more generic back and forth stuff we discuss the idea that Teddy Long is trying to get the belt off Booker because he’s racist. Sadly, that’s by far the most entertaining aspect of this match. They keep changing the story about the rules of the title.

At one point it’s he doesn’t get a shot at Booker again, then it’s at the title ever. Make up your minds on the pointless stipulations guys. I’m about to fall asleep from this match as it’s really that bad. Actually it’s not bad, but just boring on so many levels. Batista is treating him like a jobber in ever sense of the word. To up the drama/excitement, which is to say actually have some, Batista hits a shoulder block from the top.

JBL says it’s anyone’s ball game, which explains why Booker has been getting his face kicked in for about five minutes. Booker hits a random Book End so he can use the Spinerooni. Batista pops up and hits the Batista Bomb but Booker grabs the bottom rope. Sharmell interferes (for some reason that word was hard to spell) and Booker misses a belt shot, and Batista nails him with the belt for the title. Wait what? That’s how they’re ending this?

He has Booker more or less dead and he doesn’t even use the freaking Batista Bomb? To even further the stupidity of this, he kicked Booker in the ribs to make him drop the title, so he was in perfect position for the Bomb. That was a stupid ending because it makes Batista look both heelish and weak. That was awful.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL. It was boring, the ending was never in doubt, and yet they somehow managed to botch that too. Batista breathed life back into the title though as he and Taker would soon start their mega feud over the belt, but seriously, this was the best they could do? It was like a main event for the sake of saying they had a main event which is just stupid. I want my fifteen minutes back! Awful way to end the show, plain and simple.

Overall Rating: C-. Again that’s being generous. The first half of this show is great but after that the whole thing just falls apart at the seams. The second half of this show just doesn’t work at all for me. The two main Survivor Series matches were just not good, plain and simple.

The main event was garbage of the highest degree and the whole show just falls flat for me. There’s some ok stuff here but it really just isn’t working at all for me. The first few matches, mainly the Benoit/Chavo match were actually pretty good. The show just doesn’t feel big at all and it just doesn’t work. I’d avoid it if I were you.

 

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Smackdown – January 28, 2011 – Call the Corre(nor). Yes I stole that name.

Smackdown
Date: January 28, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

It’s the final show before we hit the Rumble so I think I know what we’re going to be talking about.  Tonight’s main event is Rated RKO facing Miz/Ziggler.  Also I’d bet one a lot more from the Corre as on Monday the main focus was on Nexus so therefore the same thing needs to be done here.  Ok so it’s not that bad but it does happen a good bit.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

Oh and before I forget, I won’t be here next week for NXT or Smackdown.  I’ll be back the following week for at least Smackdown and maybe NXT but I’m not sure.  Have fun without me.

The opening is about Corre and their interaction with Teddy.  A lot of this is about how Corre might have been the guys that did it.  There’s a clock theme to it which doesn’t seem accurate by comparison to what I remember from last week, as in the timing is off from when it actually happened.  We also see Gabriel beating Edge.

No theme song again.  Instead we get to hear Vickie’s voice to open the show properly.  Teddy can’t be here tonight so she’s in charge.  She gets cut off by Orton’s music and the pop is still solid.  I love these times where people go back and forth from show to show.  Vickie cuts the music off with an EXCUSE ME.  I guess she didn’t like what the voices had to say.

Randy says he doesn’t know Vickie very well, “so you’ll have to excuse me”, for what he’s going to do to her boyfriend later tonight.  That was clever.  Miz will have to excuse Orton for taking the WWE Championship from him as well.  He puts his arm around Vickie and says by the way, nice hair.  This is oddly funny for some reason.  There is no excuse for Vickie though.  Orton’s delivery here was some of his best in awhile and I was liking it.

Here comes Dolph to stand up for Vickie.  Well at least he’s not standing up for WWE.  Dolph demands respect for himself and Vickie because after Sunday he’ll be World Champion.  Orton says around here you have to earn it, and there’s an RKO for Dolph.  This is going to sound odd, but I think the blue on Smackdown agrees with Randy.  His skin is so orange that the red on Raw makes him look weird.  As odd as it sounds I’m being serious when I say that.

Laycool vs. Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly

 

Striker sings Laycool’s song which is rather disturbing.  The non-Flawless ones jump Laycool during their entrance and the beating is on in the aisle.  Is this Kaitlyn’s non-NXT debut?  She starts with Michelle and is clearly green.  Layla distracts Kaitlyn though and Michelle kicks Kaitlyn’s head off to end this at 43 seconds.  AWESOME kick and if that hadn’t ended it there was no way I would have believed it.  The replay makes it look even better as that kick was spot on.

Drew McIntyre vs. JTG

 

Kelly hangs out at ringside for this one.  Cole wants to know how she can criticize Drew for being aggressive when she jumped Laycool pre-match.  That’s a totally fair question but we get no answer of course.  That face pop for Drew is still slowly growing but it’s growing nonetheless.  They start off kind of staring at each other until JTG goes after him, sending him to the floor.

Drew suddenly realizes he’s fighting a jobber and starts mauling him.  Back into the ring and it’s all Drew who hits three neckbreakers in a row for two.  Since that didn’t work he switches to hammering away in the corner with clotheslines.  Drew even channels his inner John Cena and throws a decent dropkick for one.  JTG gets some jobber offense in until Drew runs him over.

After some more pounding we hit the ground for more pounding.  He adds in that modified crossface chickenwing that Sheamus has also been using recently.  Must be a UK thing.  Another neckbreaker attempt is countered into a backslide for two.  JTG gets a bit of momentum going and tries another backslide.  Drew casually rolls through it and grabs the Futureshock to end it at 4:35.  That was a nice counter to end it.

Rating: C+. Just an extended squash here but they let Drew show off a bit.  JTG is fine in this jobber role he has.  Every generation has had its share of jobbers but I guess this one has their own theme music.  They put on a fairly decent match here all things considered though and it worked fine.

Drew plays nice this week and leaves just as Kelly gets in the ring, apparently not seeing her or looking up as he leaves since the big screen shows her in the ring.  She looks at him and seems uncertain.

We recap Cody vs. Rey last week where Cody got his nose broken.  The point of this is that Cody exposed the knee brace that hit him in the face and caused his injury.

In the back Cody is interviewed and won’t turn to face the camera.  Cody has it on good authority that Rey didn’t even want to win that match.  He has a broken nose and will need extensive reconstructive surgery and is out of the Rumble.  Cody says that it’s what you do that defines you and he’s going to keep swinging.  He sounds like he’s almost crying.  A kid told him he wasn’t dashing anymore, and the kid is right.  He can’t talk anymore.  This gave me flashes of the Elephant Man, which will make perfect sense if you’ve seen the movie.

Some overly happy interviewer talks to Edge.  Edge says he doesn’t want to talk about the tag match but rather Corre.  He even remembers all of their names, including DJ Gabriel.  I never thought I’d hear that name again.  The only thing he’s going to say about the tag match is he’s going to spear Ziggler.

Del Rio says hi to Tarver who is suddenly one of the more interesting mysteries.  Why is he always standing around?

Here’s Alberto who has promised a Rumble exhibition.  Even though he has very little chance to win the Rumble, they’re making me kind of believe it’s possible, which means they’re doing the right thing.  Apparently he has 39 fighters from all over the world ready for an exhibition.  Every 30 seconds another will come out, meaning this should take about 20 minutes.

The first guy is Seth Allen who according to Striker is a former Western States Heritage Champion.  This is like a challenge mode on SvR or something.  And he’s gone.  Next up is Mike Stevens, a former Brass Knuckles Champion.  They’re speeding up the clock here.  He can’t get him out in thirty seconds so here’s Kane as a penalty.  Alberto gets the corner enziguri but charges into a chokeslam position.

Kofi comes out as I guess the clock thing is still going on.  Why did Kofi bring the belt with him?  Either way he dumps both guys out and stands tall.  The villains surround Kofi so Rey comes down to even the odds.  You know, because it’s not like he would want a guy the caliber of the Intercontinental Champion to get beaten down two days before the Rumble or anything like that right?  You know come to think of it, scratch that.  As annoying as Rey can be, it’s nice to see a pure face once in awhile instead of someone that is a face when it suits them.  Anyway, Vickie comes out to make the obvious tag match.

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/Kane

 

Well you knew there would be a tag match somewhere since it’s Smackdown.  Back from a break and there’s the bell.  Kane and Kofi start us off which could be an interesting midcard feud.  The power takes over and it’s off to Alberto.  Off to Rey now as Kofi has taken over.  Nice double teaming allows Kofi to get in a jumping elbow before he leaves.  Rey looks different for some reason.

We start talking about Cody and Striker has sympathy for him.  Josh of course is the voice of reason.  Oh joy: it’s Rey vs. Kane.  619 is teased but Kane hits the floor instead.  Back off to Kofi as Alberto gets in Kane’s face.  The good guys get a baseball slide to send Alberto into Kane and then a dive and seated senton put Alberto and Kane down respectively.

Kofi sets for the cross body back in the ring but Alberto shoves him off.  They double team Kofi even though I’m pretty sure Striker said Rey was the legal man.  Kane drops a leg for two.  Kofi tries to fight him off but runs into a side slam to take him down.  Alberto is back in and they work on the back for awhile.  Kane back in as the heels are tagging very fast.

Kane catches the foot of Kofi who has to now hop over to his corner.  In something that felt anti-climactic in a weird way, Kingston is able to get the tag and here comes Rey with a seated senton off the top to Kane.  That only gets two though so we reset a bit.  Rey tries a springboard move but Kane kicks him in the face and to the floor.  He also kicked us into a break.

Back with Alberto hitting a back elbow to Rey for two.  Now we hit the chinlock and Rey is in trouble.  Sunset flip by Del Rio is countered into that kick that Rey has been using recently to put both guys down.  Del Rio doesn’t tag but beats on Rey come more.  Kane back in as they’re tagging so often I don’t even notice it anymore.  Granted that could mean I’m getting sucked into the match which is possible as this has been good.

Kane gets Rey up in a powerslam position but Rey is able to spin out into a DDT to send both guys down again.  Tag on both sides and Kofi comes in with the springboard cross body.  Del Rio gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two out of nowhere.  He goes to tag but there’s no Kane due to a kick from Kofi a second earlier.  Top rope cross body gets two as Kane saves.

Del Rio gets in Kane’s face, yelling at him in Spanish.  The amusing thing is that Kane, being born in Spain, might have a better grasp of the language than Del Rio.  Alberto shoves Kane, who responds in my favorite way: KICKING HIM IN THE FACE!  Sorry that has to be caps.  There’s something so awesome to me about kicking a guy in the face to end an argument.  That could solve so many real world problems.  Anyway the 619 sets up the Trouble in Paradise to end this long match at 12:23 shown of 15:53.

Rating: B+. Probably a bit high but I got into this.  It’s a long formula match and that’s usually the best kind of tag match.  I always get a kick out of throwing two heel s and two faces together and seeing what happens.  They shifted momentum a lot here and it worked rather well I thought.  Fun match.

We get a clip from Raw of Edge vs. Miz which set up the tag match later.

Big Show comes out and seems to be in a good mood.  He talks about how when you’re 7’0, 440lbs and a former WWE Champion, sometimes people want to use you to make a statement.  Naturally he’s talking about the Corre and we get a clip of them beating him down.  That did two things: made him angry and reminded him of what it’s going to be like in the Rumble.  As he talks about never having won a Rumble, here they come.

The shirts aren’t working for me as they look like they’re in beauty pageants.  Show asks if this is how it’s going to be, always 4-1.  He challenges any of them one on one but seems to want Jackson the most.  Slater comes in from behind and we have a bell and a referee!

Heath Slater vs. Big Show

 

Cole: “This shows you how much heart this kid Slater had.”  Josh: “Or that he’s an idiot.”  I love listening to those two.  Slater goes for the knee but Show chops him down from his knee.  Striker points out that all four members of Corre are from different continents.  There’s a Captain Planet joke in there somewhere.  Chokeslam ends it in about 1:15.  Nothing to see here.

 

Show goes after the other members but Jackson takes him down with a single clothesline.  The beatdown is on but the Smackdown locker room (read as JTG, Masters, Santino, Kozlov and Bryan.  In other words, a jobber, a jobber to the stars, the tag champions that are more commonly associated with Raw, and a Raw champion.) comes out to clear the ring.

All About the Numbers and a rundown of the card eat up five minutes.

Rated RKO vs. The Miz/Dolph Ziggler

 

Miz is out first and wants to talk about…The Truman Doctrine?  Yeah, he talks about a foreign policy doctrine from the late 40s.  What does this have to do with anything?  Nothing according to Miz.  It doesn’t matter at all.  It also doesn’t matter what Randy Orton does; the Miz is leaving the Rumble with the WWE Championship.  Another decent Miz promo.

Orton vs. Ziggler to start us off.  Basic back and forth until Orton takes over with a clothesline.  He pauses to chase Miz though and Ziggler gets the advantage.  Off to Edge who puts his head down and takes an X-Factor for two.  Over to Miz who gets an assist from Riley to take over.  Randy gets in a quick shot though and gets into RKO position!  He stares down Miz…and we take a break?

Apparently there were technical difficulties and that wasn’t a scheduled break.  That explains a lot.  Either way, Ziggler pulled Randy out before it could hit.  Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Orton.  Randy tries to fight back but Miz gets a nice combination (has Orton in a reverse DDT position and drops his back down like a reverse Facecrusher before hitting a neckbreaker.  Kind of like a modified Reality Check).

Corner clothesline is attempted but Orton lands one of his own.  Off to Edge and Ziggler as we’re getting close to the ending it seems.  Edge sets for the spear on Ziggler but Riley interferes so he has to settle for the Edge-O-Matic for two.  Zig Zag is blocked and there’s the spear for the clean pin at 7:50 shown of 11:20.

Rating: C. Basic main event tag match here but I was surprised as to hoe it ended.  It’s not bad but I couldn’t get into this one.  The ending really didn’t work for me as it takes away a lot of the drama for Sunday, like can Edge pin Dolph?  Well yeah apparently he can.  Granted I don’t think many people are buying the show to see that match so I can pretty easily forgive them there.  That being said, not a great match at all but still decent enough.

Post match Vickie bans the spear and says that if he uses it on Sunday, Ziggler is champion.  This earns Dolph three straight spears to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much better show this week.  They covered a lot more stuff here and it worked better than the previous one.  This built up the title match and the Rumble at the same time which is good.  There was no point to just doing the Rumble as we got that on Raw so they focused on both world titles here.  Couple that with some decent wrestling and it’s definitely a good show.

Results

Laycool b. Kaitlyn/Kelly Kelly – Big Boot to Kaitlyn

Drew McIntyre b. JTG – Futureshock

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio/Kane – Trouble in Paradise to Del Rio

Big Show b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam

Rated RKO b. Dolph Ziggler/The Miz – Spear to Ziggler