Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2013
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Elimination Chamber was last night and the most important thing is we have our title matches at Mania (presumably) set. Rock is defending against Cena while Del Rio is going to defend against Swagger, assuming nothing is added to either match. Other than that Cena/Ryback/Sheamus were upset by the Shield in their six man tag. Tonight we continue the build to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last night, highlighting all of the major matches.

Here’s Cena to open the show. He talks about how ten months ago, the location for Wrestlemania 29 was announced, but only last night did the sign start to mean something. Cena mentions the two world title matches that are set, but here’s CM Punk with a rebuttal. He admits that Rock beat him last night….if you ignore Rock hitting a referee and Punk having him pinned for about 18 seconds. Cena says that for once this isn’t about CM Punk and he has to sit this one out.

Punk talks about how he was champion for 434 days so he should get another chance. Cena earned his shot in one single match and eliminated about four people to go to Wrestlemania. Also, Rock has already beaten Cena, so why would we want to see it again? Punk asks Cena to walk away and get out of his life but Cena of course says no.

John says Punk should be smart enough to know that Punk isn’t stupid enough to think Cena would hand away a golden ticket. Cena says Punk isn’t going to be handed a golden ticket, but Punk can earn it. If CM can beat him right here and right now, Punk can have the title show. Punk of course takes him up on it….just not here. Instead he wants it next week and Cena says cool.

We hear about Shield winning their six man tag last night.

Sheamus is talking about the loss last night but Ryback keeps walking in front of him. Getting annoyed, Sheamus yells at Ryback and suggests that he’s a mindless neanderthal like everyone says. A fight is about to break out but Jericho breaks it up. Chris says this is like the NWO or the Nexus and says they have to band together. Jericho proposes another six man tag and the monsters are in.

Sin Cara vs. Mark Henry

During Henry’s entrance we get some clips of Henry’s Hall of Pain. Henry pushes Cara down and stands on his back before hitting a running splash in the corner. Cara hits a quick kick to the head but a second is blocked and countered into a powerslam. The World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:33.

Post match Henry is beating up Cara even more but Khali comes out for the save. Despite Henry regularly destroying Khali in the past, Henry walks away without a fight. He also dances to Khali’s music a bit in a funny visual.

We get a clip of the end of the US Title match last night. Miz gets another rematch tonight in a No DQ match.

The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is No DQ and I believe non-title. Miz attacks quickly to start, but we head to the floor where Cesaro rams the injured shoulder into the post. The champion brings in a chair and a kendo stick to pound away on the badly injured Miz. After a fast rollup gets two for Miz, a kendo stick shot gets the same for Antonio. Cesaro uses the chair on the arm before putting on a fast arm hold. The bad shoulder is sent into a chair wedged in the corner but Cesaro misses a charge into said chair, hitting it knee first. That and the Figure Four are enough to give Miz the win at 3:40.

Rating: C-. I’m really not wild on the idea of Miz getting destroyed like that and then getting a fluke win out of nowhere. The match was way too short for a submission loss for the US Champion, especially to a guy like Miz. This clearly is setting up a rematch later on for the title, but why? Miz has lost twice, one of which was clean. Losing twice then winning twice doesn’t make you look good. It makes you look even.

We get a video from Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger about how illegal immigrants here for a handout are ruining America. If the government won’t do anything, Coulter and Swagger will do it for them.

Daniel Bryan yells at Kane for attacking him last night and tonight it’s Bryan vs. Swagger. Kane is going to get a singles match of his own and neither wants the other to come out for their match. Kane says he doesn’t deal well with snakes, which gets the attention of Orton, who just happened to be standing behind them. Randy says Kane is more like Barney the Dinosaur now. Orton vs. Kane is teased for later.

Vickie is on the phone when Paul Heyman comes up. She makes fun of him for the stipulations meaning nothing last night and promises a huge announcement for later tonight. Heyman doesn’t like surprises, which is why she’s going to surprise him.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler starts fast but is sent to the apron where an enziguri puts him on the floor. We take a break with Del Rio standing tall in the ring. Back with Ziggler choking Del Rio on the ropes followed by a dropkick for two. Langston gets in a cheap shot which gives Dolph another near fall. The Fameasser gives Dolph another two count but he goes to the top and gets crotched down.

Alberto follows up with a reverse superplex to put both guys down. Del Rio wins a slugout and hits his low superkick for two. The cross armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker by Dolph but Del Rio sends him into the corner and hits a Backstabber for two. The cross armbreaker gets the tap out 9:24.

Rating: C+. This was fine but again, Ziggler gets to get beaten up by the guy he is supposed to cash in on. This is the trap they lay for themselves: if they finally do give Ziggler the belt, why would the fans buy him as a legit threat? He’s lost to EVERYONE more than once and hardly ever wins anything anymore, so why would we buy him as champion? My guess is we wouldn’t, but he’s got the belt and that’s all that matters right?

Post match Langston lays out Del Rio with the Big Ending and Ziggler tries to cash in. Ricardo steals the case though and runs off with it, only to drop it while Big E. chases him. AJ hands it back to Dolph but Alberto hits an enziguri to lay Ziggler out. No cash-in.

Wade Barrett shows us a trailer of a movie he’s in called Dead Man Down. After the trailer, Sheamus pops up on screen to make fun of how small Barrett’s part is in the movie.

Lawler and Cole do a commercial for the new WWE toys.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

The girls get us going here with Naomi taking over quickly. Primo and Tensai come in but Brodus scares Primo to the floor. Brodus comes in legally and the double splash is enough to pin Primo in 1:30.

Clip from the press conference announcing Wrestlemania coming to New Orleans.

Here are Swagger and Coulter for the State of the WWE. Swagger says he did what he did last night for America before turning the mic over to Coulter. Zeb talks about how it’s Presidents’ Day and they have the freedom of speech. If the people don’t like what’s being said, that’s too bad. Very true point. Coulter blames the problems of the union on illegal immigrants and says that Swagger can do something about it.

The title match at Wrestlemania isn’t just a title match. It’s a battle for America between a real American and a man who came to this country to reap the rewards of the motherland. Swagger is going to reclaim America from someone trying to steal it. Swagger shouts WE THE PEOPLE a lot until Daniel Bryan’s music cuts him off.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

We return from a commercial to see the match already in progress. Bryan fires off kicks to the leg to slow Swagger up a bit before hooking a kind of sunset flip for two. Swagger blocks a surfboard but Bryan goes to the arm to slow him down again. Jack sends him out tot he floor but gets dropkicked down by Bryan. Swagger comes right back by ramming Bryan’s taped ribs into the barricade.

Back inside and Swagger hits a running charge to crush Bryan in the corner again. A knee to the ribs puts bryan down again and the Vader Bomb out of the corner gets two. Bryan fights back and sends Jack to the floor where he hits a suicide dive to put both guys down. Back in again and a missile dropkick gets two for Bryan.

Daniel fires off a bunch of kicks but Swagger counters into a spinebuster. The cover is countered into the NO Lock but Swagger gets a rope. Bryan misses a running clothesline in the corner and hurts his ribs again, allowing for Swagger to start in on the ankle. A chop block takes the leg out and the Patriot Lock (not Act) gets the tap out at 8:07 shown.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but I couldn’t stand the lack of psychology at the end. Why in the world would Swagger need to go to the ankle lock when Bryan had bad ribs? Swagger had worked on the ribs for the entire match but then has to go for the ankle to end the match. The fact that Jack has a move that works on the ribs (gutwrench powerbomb) makes this even worse. I can’t stand it and it happens far too often.

Here are Heyman and Vickie in the ring for Vickie’s announcement. Vickie announces her new assistant: Brad Maddox. Brad comes out to talk about how he got this job from Vince himself because he exposed the relationship between Heyman and the Shield. Heyman goes to leave but Vince pops up on screen to say not so fast.

Actually that’s not the surprise for Heyman. Vince asks about the stipulations in the title match last night and we get a clip of Heyman saying he would do anything to get those rules in place. Vince says anything means anything, so he could fire Paul right now. McMahon doesn’t do it yet because next week, Heyman and Vince are going to have a fight.

We see Cena and Punk’s challenge from earlier tonight.

Chris Jericho/Sheamus/Ryback vs. Shield

Ryback starts by launching Rollins into the corner and firing away shoulders. Jericho tries to calm him down before beating on Ambrose for a bit. A suplex puts Dean down and it’s off to Sheamus vs. Reigns. Sheamus pounds him down and sends him into the corner for a running knee lift. White Noise hits but Rollins pulls Reigns out of the ring before the Brogue Kick. Sheamus kicks Ambrose to the floor instead as we take a break.

Back with Reigns holding Sheamus in a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Rollins for some stomping in the corner. Reigns comes back in for more of the same but Sheamus fights back with a clothesline. A double tag brings in Ryback to face Rollins and it’s power moves all around. There’s the Meat Hook but Reigns spears Ryback down to break up Shell Shock again, but it only gets two. The fans cheer for Jericho as Ambrose keeps beating on Ryback. Rollins comes back in and stomps away a bit more for two.

Dean comes back in with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Reigns. Roman misses a splash in the corner and gets caught on the top rope, allowing Ryback to make the hot tag to Jericho. He gets to fight Ambrose but has to dropkick Rollins down as well. The bulldog takes Ambrose down and there’s the Lionsault for two. The Walls are countered into a small package for two as Reigns sends Ryback into the post. Jericho hooks the Walls on Ambrose and Sheamus takes out Reigns but it distracts the referee. Rollins kicks Jericho from the top rope for the pin at 13:31.

Rating: B-. Another solid match by Shield, who could be just fine taking out random three man combinations. They’ve been kept VERY strong so far and using them sparingly is the best idea the company could have had. This furthers the issues between Ryback and Sheamus and/or Jericho which could make for an interesting Mania fight. Good stuff here.

Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Before the match Sandow says today is President’s Day, which Sandow holds close to his heart. Apparently members of his family have served as advisers to Presidents, including his great grandfather who came up with the idea of the New Deal. Sandow jumps Kofi before the match and it’s a big fight. Kingston’s shoulder is sent into the post and keeps up the beating until R-Truth returns and beats up Sandow.

Josh talks to the same two actors from G.I. Joe 2 that he spoke to last night. This leads to a clip from the movie.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Kane runs him over with a shoulder to start and we stop and stare for a bit. Orton goes after the arm but gets punched out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane holding Orton in a chinlock and getting two off a big boot. A DDT gets the same and Kane is getting frustrated. Back to the chinlock but Orton fights up and hits some punches in the corner followed by a dropkick.

Kane fights back with a low dropkick of his own and we hit the chinlock for the third time. Both guys hit a variety of a slam (Power for Randy, side for Kane) but Kane misses the top rope clothesline. Kane takes Randy down again and loads up the chokeslam but here’s Bryan for a distraction. Orton and the RKO finish this at 9:33.

Rating: D. I’m a Kane fan but this was a pretty lame match. When you have three chinlocks seen in a less than ten minute match, it’s pretty clear that you don’t have much to do out there. This match kept going on and on which made for a very dull match overall. Orton was basically just a warm body out there instead of anyone of importance. Bad match.

Rock is played to the ring for his Championship Celebration by a university marching band. That’s pretty cool indeed. Rock talks about how much of a coward Punk showed himself to be by spitting in Rock’s face last night, but Rock pinned him anyway. Rock says that he’s going to Wrestlemania, but he’s not going with this title. There’s a table set up next to him with something under a blanket. Rock talks about the current belt being introduced eight years ago and some people thought it looked cool. Then again some people think Bigfoot is real so take that for what it’s worth. Also, the belt should never spin.

Rock hands a stagehand the belt and says take it to the Hall of Fame. He talks about the greats that have held the world title over the years (biggest pop might have been for Bret actually) before unveiling the new belt. It looks like the US Title shape but has a big WWE logo in the middle and Brahma Bulls on the sides. I’ve seen worse.

Moving on though, Rock says he has to face someone at Wrestlemania. The fans seem more interested in Rock vs. Cena II, so here’s Cena to the stage. Punk pops up from behind and hits Cena in the back with the old belt, laying him out. Rock is ready to fight but Punk walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was certainly entertaining but these Raws after a PPV are tough to sit through. Six hours in two days is just WAY too much time and I was getting tired halfway through the show. That being said, it was still an entertaining show and a lot of stuff was done, which is the most important part. Next week’s show looks big, which shows the stupidity of what WWE does most of the time: why don’t they announce something for next week more often? You very rarely hear something like this anymore, which makes no sense given how easy it is to do. Just be patient and things will be better.

Results

Mark Henry b. Sin Cara – World’s Strongest Slam

The Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Jack Swagger b. Daniel Bryan – Patriot Lock

Shield b. Chris Jericho/Ryback/Sheamus – Ambrose pinned Jericho after a top rope kick from Rollins

Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

After eight years, dare I say…..FINALLY?  Photo coming when I can find one.  It looks like the US Title shape but has a big WWE logo in the middle and Brahma Bulls on the sides. I’ve seen worse.

Here’s a picture of the new title:

BUT DOES IT SPIN???

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 21, 2002
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,420
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Rumble now and the road is pointing to HHH vs. Chris Jericho at the Rumble. Other than that….there’s not much going on here. Basically it’s all about HHH for the next seven or eight weeks, but now we need to bring in Stephanie as well because what would Monday Night Raw be without her? Let’s get to it.

We open with the Martin Luther King Day video. What is Vince’s obsession with that holiday? Not that I’m complaining but he never misses that thing.

We recap the winners of the Rumbles over the years before getting to HHH’s win last night.

Rob Van Dam/Tazz/Spike Dudley vs. Booker T/Dudley Boys

Booker eliminated RVD last night to set this up. Spike is in a neck brace. Booker and RVD start things off by trading some forearms. Booker takes him down but stupidly tries to get into a kicking battle with Rob freaking Van Dam. Why in the world would you think that was a good idea? A dropkick and standing moonsault get two for Rob and it’s off to Tazz. Some Dudley interference lets Booker take over before it’s off to D-Von.

The jumping back elbow puts Tazz down and there’s a tag to Bubba who knocks Spike off the apron. There’s the ax kick from Booker but instead of the Spinarooni it’s back to D-Von for more pounding in the corner. A legdrop gets two on Tazz and D-Von throws him to the floor. After some cheating by Bubba we head back inside where Tazz hits a quick suplex on D-Von to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in RVD and let the rolls and flips begin. Rob cleans house but gets caught in the reverse 3D for two. Everything breaks down and everyone hits something, including a 3D to Tazz. As Bubba is getting up though, Van Dam hits him with the Five Star for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. This was a nice little tag match and the surprise ending made it that much better. I’m still a big fan of combining feuds like this as it allows them to save time while giving us some fresh matchups at the same time. This lets both feuds continue as a combination of both were involved in the fall. Decent stuff here.

It’s Jericho time as he gets to gloat over keeping the title last night over the Rock. Jericho talks about how everyone knew Rock was going to win but he shocked the world. This is the kind of promo that Punk could have had after this year’s Rumble but they went with the logical booking instead, which was probably the right move. Jericho demands respect and appreciation for his accomplishments, which are indeed pretty awesome. He wants a standing ovation but here’s HHH instead.

The Game gives Jericho some applause and says Jericho has never beaten HHH. He talks about going to Wrestlemania to face Jericho, assuming Jericho keeps the title. In two months, Jericho has to be larger than life, because that’s what it’s going to take to face HHH at Wrestlemania. At Wrestlemania, it will be time for Jericho to play the Game.

This brings out Kurt Angle for his second interruption of HHH in three weeks. He yells at HHH for jumping him from behind to eliminate him in the Rumble last night. The brawl is on but Jericho hits HHH with the belt to stop it short. Jericho puts him in the Walls but Rock comes out to make the save.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Regal won the title last night with the aide of brass knuckles. Edge jumps him on the floor while the referee looks everywhere for the brass knucks. Regal is sent over the barricade and suplexed right back to ringside as Edge is on fire early on. There’s the bell as Edge comes in with a missile dropkick for two. A belly to back suplex gets two more and Regal bails to the outside.

They head to the floor for a bit and the champion sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. Regal fires off some knees tot he shoulder like a good villain before hooking a chinlock. That goes nowhere so the Canadian fights up and hits a cross body and a spinwheel kick to drop Willy. The Edge-O-Matic gets two so Edge goes up, allowing Regal to pull out the knuckles. Edge knocks them away though and decks Regal with the for….two as Patrick sees the knuckles and calls for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t awful but it didn’t do much for me. Regal was only a short term champion anyway as he would lose the belt at Mania in the opening match. Edge would of course have the logical feud from here: fighting Booker T over a Japanese shampoo commercial. Don’t you see the connection?

Edge beats up some referees post match.

Post break Edge is taken out of the arena.

Kane and Big Show talk for a bit about Kane eliminating him from the Rumble last night. Show leaves and Billy and Chuck come in (instead of out). They offer Kane a spot on the team complete with his own headband. A two on one beatdown ensues when he says no. Ok then.

Mr. Perfect and Debra chat about Austin. This also goes nowhere.

Here’s Flair to liven things up a bit. He says we’re in Flair Country tonight and thanks the fans for supporting him for 25 years. In that time he left his family behind because he was blinded by ambition to be the best. The only thing he knew about his children was that he was there when they were born. He couldn’t be at their ball games or recitals because he had to be wrestling around the world. Flair doesn’t regret a bit of it because the fans became his family. Lawler: “Good to see he’s got his priorities in order.”

In recent years though, Flair has wanted to become a better father who his kids can look up to. That’s why when Vince started to screw with him and his family, Flair had to change his catchphrase to “to be the man, you’ve got to beat Vince McMahon.” Last night, Vince took a camera from Flair’s kids’ hands and took pictures of Flair’s bloody face. Then Flair’s daughter got the camera back and took a shot of Vince’s bloody face. We see the picture and WOW Vince’s eyes looked insane.

Anyway here’s a bandaged Vince to stare down Ric. Flair takes his jacket off but Vince leaves his on. He says people think he lost at the Rumble, but apparently Flair lost too. Vince says that after last night, Flair is going to do something bad. Something so bad that even Vince might regret it. Flair is going to see what it is and that’s it. That announcement would come on Smackdown.

Val Venis vs. Mr. Perfect

Both guys returned at the Rumble last night. Val does the Rick Rude thing, although instead of getting a kiss, she gets to remove his towel. He doesn’t even want to know her name so they don’t get too attached. Val kisses her anyway. Perfect takes him into the corner for some hard chops but Val comes back with some knees to the ribs. A clothesline puts Val down…and here’s Austin. He BLASTS Perfect in the head with a chair, presumably for something from the Rumble last night. The match is thrown out.

Val gets in Austin’s face and gets the Stunner he deserves. Austin has a story for us tonight: it’s about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. Austin goes through the entire theme song (get some culture if you don’t know what I’m talking about) but says that’s not the story he’s here to tell us. Instead he wants to talk about Steve Austin going to the Royal Rumble.

He ate a bunch of Mexican food and drank a lot of alcohol but last night he was hoodwinked, bamboozled and flabbergasted by two guys from behind. He’s entering the 2003 Royal Rumble right now and is going to Wrestlemania this year to beat someone up. Austin gets into nearly a sermon, talking about how he’s going to bloody and torture someone at Wrestlemania. The direction for this seemed to be “Austin, go fill up five minutes because we have no idea what to do tonight.”

Big Show/Kane vs. Billy and Chuck

Big Show is a surprise partner and the brawl starts on the ramp. Kane gets Billy in the ring and launches fire from the posts. Chuck gets kicked in the face and it’s off to Big Show as he and Chuck are legal. Billy is pulled in as well as Show is beating up everything in sight. Kane goes up top but Show accidentally knocks him to the floor. Chuck takes Big Show’s leg out and the Fameasser is enough for the pin. Next.

HHH yells at Rock for saving him earlier, which makes Rock ask a very good question: why is HHH so mad all the time when he’s going to Wrestlemania? Rock recommends some ice cream and a ham and cheese sammich. Oh and he wasn’t saving HHH earlier. It was just a preview for Angle and Jericho.

We get a clip of Maven eliminating Undertaker in a legit shocking moment last night.

The APA is at WWF New York.

The newly legit Godfather is here, now owning an escort service instead of being a pimp. He says he’s in the Yellow Pages now and this needs to end already. It’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to complain. Storm: “This business is as legitimate as a three legged donkey….which is illegitimate as a donkey of course has four legs.” Storm tries to clear out the ring but Godfather hits the running splash in the corner to dispatch the Canadian.

Goldust says there’s a star that burns brighter than he does and Goldie is coming for him.

Stephanie yells at HHH for being Rock’s partner tonight. She tells him to go beat up Rock but HHH tells her everything doesn’t revolve around her. He finally tells her to shut up and walks out.

The Rock/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Rock and Angle start things off but it’s quickly off to Jericho as the villains take over. Jericho shoulders him down but Rock nips up and hits a spear of all things to put the Canadian down. Off to HHH as the beating continues. Chris is slammed off the top and HHH hooks a running choke to keep the pressure on. Back to Rock for a release belly to belly suplex and a spinebuster to set up the Elbow, but Angle low bridges him to the floor.

Rock gets to play Ricky Morton for a bit as Jericho drops a bunch of elbows for two. Back to Angle who gets punched in the face and put in the Sharpshooter, only for Jericho to quickly break it up. A DDT puts Chris down and there’s the double tag to bring in HHH and Angle. The Game beats up both evildoers and catapults Jericho out to the floor. Angle gets speared as well and Jericho gets crotched.

There’s the Pedigree for Angle but Jericho dives off the top for the save. It’s off to Rock vs. Jericho with the champion getting punched over and over. Jericho is knocked to the floor and grabs the bell but hits his own partner before walking into the Rock Bottom to end things. Nice job of making the champion look strong going into Mania.

Rating: C. The match was a standard main event tag match which means it was just ok at best. Jericho getting pinned makes me roll my eyes more than anything else, but it’s not like HHH wasn’t clearly winning the title the second his return date was announced. The match was just ok but star power helped it a lot.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more disappointing than anything else. The problem here was mainly the Attitude Era guys being brought back in but only being warmed over imitations of what they used to be. In 2002, I don’t care about Val Venis or Godfather or Goldust. On top of that, we’re coming up on the most obvious main event of Wrestlemania since 1998, but that’s going to be overshaddowed by what’s coming on Smackdown. Not that it’s a good thing mind you, but it’s big.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my Monday Night Raw 1998 Reviews ebook on Amazon at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 14, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re six days away from the Rumble and the main story is of course HHH returning last week. The Rumble is already looking stacked with names like Austin, HHH, Angle and Undertaker already signed up for the match. Other than that….there’s not much else to talk about. That’s perfectly normal for this time of year in the WWF though so I can’t complain about it. Well alright so I will but you know the drill by now I’m sure. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin vs. Angle from Smackdown which ended with Kane interfering for no apparent reason and chokeslamming both guys. A few other guys came out and the mini Rumble before the Rumble went down with HHH standing tall.

Here’s Flair to open the show. He praises Dallas and talks about facing Kerry Von Erich in Texas Stadium back in 1984. Lately though, Vince has humbled Flair and we get a clip of the beating from last week. We also get a clip from Smackdown where Vince says that destroying lives turns him on. Flair yells at the cameraman for following him around and makes the match on Sunday a street fight. There are some elbows on the microphone for good sake but he wants to fight Vince now. Flair wants to fight Vince, but here’s Jericho instead.

Jericho talks about how the show used to revolve around Flair, but now this is his show. He says he’ll beat Rock for the fifth time and thinks Flair can’t do it anymore. Jericho brags about how awesome he is and says he’s the anti-Texan. Now Jericho goes onto a rant about how Flair and President George W. Bush are a lot alike but doesn’t say why. Jericho says Flair is going to choke on Sunday and the fight is on.

Flair hits a few low blows and puts the Undisputed Champion in the Figure Four, but Vince runs out with the lead pipe for the save. They didn’t even try to protect Jericho at this point. Vince slaps him in the head a bit because Flair has a concussion but a kick between Flair’s legs is blocked. Jericho decks Flair and this segment FINALLY ends after about twenty minutes. All that to announce that it’s a street fight, and yet people still wonder why they can’t get people on the show at times.

Lance Storm and Christian praise Jericho. Bradshaw comes in to yell at them, saying George Bush has given Jericho his freedom. Without making this a political argument, 1. Jericho is Canadian, 2. What freedom did Bush give him? 3. Why is Bradshaw talking to the world champion? Apparently a match is made.

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Spike Dudley

The evil Bubba pounds Spike into the corner to start and works over the ribs, only to miss a Vader Bomb in the corner. D-Von trips Spike up but the bigger Dudleys collide. The Dudley Dog is countered and the Dudleys load up What’s Up with Stacy providing the distraction. Tazz breaks that up and it’s a victory roll for the pin for Spike. Nothing here but they built the title match on Sunday.

Stephanie arrives and is already complaining. HHH is with her and doesn’t seem to care at all.

Tajiri/Hurricane vs. Billy and Chuck

This was set up on Heat and Billy was so upset that he and Chuck had to cancel their date with two WAY hot chicks. Hurricane doesn’t buy it either and we get a WHATSUPWITHDAT. He says Billy and Chuck are more like the Human Torch: flame on. Billy and Hurricane start and Chuck almost immediately cheats. Chuck comes in legally now and stomps away in the corner as the beating continues. A clothesline puts Chuck down and there’s the not hot tag to Tajiri. Kicks are fired, we get heel miscommunication, Billy distracts Tajiri and the superkick from Chuck gets the pin. Another nothing match.

Undertaker arrives.

Scotty and Albert are at WWF New York.

Angle says he’ll break Kane’s ankle tonight. We get Shakira lyrics and Olympic references in there too.

Debra and Stephanie argue over whose husband is better. They’re about to fight but since that could send wrestling back a few hundred years, referees break it up. Is there ANYTHING of note in the first half of this show?

Jazz vs. Jacqueline

That’s a big negative on the previous question. The winner gets a title shot at Trish on Sunday. Jackie is the hometown girl so I think you can tell where this is going. Jazz dominates to start but misses a splash. That means absolutely nothing as Jackie gets caught in a fisherman’s buster for the pin and the shot. This was barely a minute.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane no sells some right hands to start and is punched out to the floor. More punching occurs on the floor but Angle hits a fast dropkick as we head back in. Kane sends him into the corner and fires off some shoulders as there’s a ton of smoke in the arena from Kane’s entrance. The elbow drop misses Kurt so Angle pounds away. A one armed side slam puts Angle down as the match continues to drag.

Kane loads up the top rope clothesline but Angle runs the corner for the suplex. We needed that as hopefully the match can pick up a bit now. A quick ankle lock attempt is broken up and the enziguri puts Angle down. Kane throws Angle into the corner and pounds away before going up top, where he blocks another suplex attempt. The top rope clothesline gets two but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock.

This goes on for a LONG time before Kane gets to the rope. An Angle Slam gets two and Kane sits up before grabbing Angle for the chokeslam. Angle grabs the referee, so Kane chokeslams both of them. Kane puts Angle in the ankle lock and Kurt taps, but there’s no referee. Back to the ankle lock but Angle backs up and rolls Kane up for the pin with a handful of ropes.

Rating: C-. This was just ok and the lack of selling of the ankle was really annoying. These two would face off at Wrestlemania again in a match that wasn’t all that good. Other than that, Angle looked good running up the corner for the suplex, but other than that there wasn’t much at all. At least it was long enough to rate.

Stephanie manipulates HHH to go after Austin.

Big Show comes in to see the APA when Booker comes in as well. Booker vomited on Smackdown so here are some jokes about that for good measure. Apparently we’re getting a six man with the APA/someone vs. the Canadians. Also it’s Booker vs. Big Show. Riveting stuff people.

Edge/Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal/Test

It’s a brawl to start as Test tries to sneak in through the crowd. Van Dam and Test start things off with the Canadian taking over. Off to Regal for some forearms and stomps to keep control. Back to Test to choke in the corner for a bit as the uninspired stuff continues tonight. We hit the chinlock on RVD for a bit before he fights up and hits the spin kick to take Test down. Off to Edge vs. Regal with the Hall of Famer cleaning house. Regal loads up the brass knuckles and lays out Van Dam. After a melee he lays out Edge as well for the upset pin.

Rating: D. That word uninspired continues to fit perfectly here. The problem above all else here is that there’s no reason for me to care about this match. Basically we needed two guys to throw in there for the sake of preventing Edge vs. Regal from happening from before Sunday. Just another dull match here.

The APA gets Rikishi to be their partner.

Big Show vs. Booker T

Booker jumps him to start but gets caught in a powerslam. There’s a HARD chop in the corner by the big man but Booker low bridges him out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the post and whips Booker into it instead as we head back inside. Booker takes out the knee and hits the ax kick for two. Show comes back with some basic stuff but Booker gets a middle buckle off somewhere in there and Show misses a charge into it, giving Booker the cheap pin. Again, NOTHING of note here and very short.

Time for Austin to eat up a LOT of time as he says he and HHH disagree. He goes into a story (complete with acting out each bit) about going to a bar last night and drinking beer, playing pool and darts, riding a mechanical bull (complete with all the ways he rode it), started a bar fight, answered a bartender’s question and trained for the Royal Rumble by throwing everyone out of the bar. That’s not all he did, but I need to split up this paragraph.

Austin talked about how great HHH looks, listed off all of the exercises HHH has been doing to get back into shape, explained his strategy of getting a bigger beer belly because it makes it harder to throw him over (that’s hilarious!), lists off everything he ate at What-A-Burger (real place) and talks about all the parts of HHH’s head he can talk trash to, including both sides and the back. This was LONG but hilarious, including talking about the training methods.

We recap Vince and Flair from earlier.

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm/Christian vs. APA/Rikishi

Jericho and Rikishi start things off but the Samoan has to fight off Storm as well. The double teaming allows for Lance to take over with a superkick before it’s back to Chris. There’s a belly to belly suplex for two and it’s off to Bradshaw. Christian and Jericho stomp away at Bradshaw in the corner but Christian charges into a boot in the corner. The not hot tag brings in Faarooq as everything breaks down. A missile dropkick puts Bradshaw down and Faarooq hits the spinebuster on Jericho, but a distraction lets Jericho pop up for the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) on Faarooq for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match barely long enough to rate here. Here’s the biggest problem with this match: why in the world is Rikishi in this match instead of Jericho’s opponent on Sunday, as in the Rock? That would make sense here, but that’s not going to happen on this show as we’ve seen so far. Another lame match here.

HHH tells Stephanie he’s going to the ring alone.

Here’s the Game to close out the show. He talks about what a thrill it was to return last week, but it’s not complete until he wins the Rumble on Sunday. As usual, it takes nearly five minutes to get to that point. HHH says he’ll fight anyone and here’s Austin. The Game blocks Austin from going to the buckle and the fight is on. Austin blocks a Pedigree but Taker comes in to blast them both with a chair and stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well let’s see: other than in ads for the show, I have no idea who Jericho is defending against on Sunday, I don’t want to see the Rumble, and they couldn’t make it any clearer that HHH is winning the Rumble if they put up a big sign about it. This year is not off to a good start and it’s going to get even worse in the coming months. Nothing good to see here.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2002-hes-back-and-theres-not-a-thing-we-can-do-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another special Raw show called Thursday Raw Thursday. This was another special request and my first one through e-mail actually. Anyway the idea here is that there’s either tennis or the stupid dog show on Monday so Raw is on Thursday this week. Don’t ask me why they say the day twice but it’s Vince so I think that explains it. This is famous for two reasons: Rock vs. HHH in a LONG match (for the time frame) and this is where Shawn lost his smile. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Shawn who is vacating the title, meaning that the winner of the Final Four this Sunday will be the new champion. The opening video is about Sid vs. Shawn which was supposed to be the rubber match tonight. Naturally they say Thursday Raw Thursday about a million times in between this.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. HHH

HHH is champion here and Rocky is a glorified rookie. Also tonight there’s Sid vs. Austin and Bret vs. Vader. For no apparent reason Undertaker is fighting Savio. This is live it seems. It’s still Hunter Hearst Helmsley here so there’s no HHH name yet. The curtseying future Game gets a hip block to start us off and is very confident. They do some nice mat stuff which I’ve never seen before. They have some leg locks and head scissors with impressive counters. Cool stuff.

Off to a chinlock by HHH here but Rocky fights out and hits a dropkick to send him to the floor. A charge misses and Rocky hits the post. Back inside with HHH working on the arm. Rocky fights up but HHH gets a single arm DDT for two. Some chops hit in the corner as we take a break. Back with HHH still in control and just going OFF on Rocky’s head with right hands.

Honky Tonk Man comes out for some reason. He was looking for a protégé or something like that. He wound up picking Billy Gunn who became Rock-A-Billy as one of the dumbest gimmicks of all time. HHH has dominated the vast majority of this with a jumping knee to the head and then a sleeper. Rocky tries to reverse into a sleeper of his own but gets rammed into the buckle.

Rocky starts his comeback with right hands (called a chop by Vince for no apparent reason). Top rope cross body, more or less Rocky’s finisher, is rolled through by HHH for two. Facebuster sets up a neckbreaker by HHH for a close two. HHH is getting frustrated. Piledriver gets two AGAIN as Vince and Jim can’t believe it. Superplex gets two and no one knows what to think.

HHH sets for the Pedigree but Rocky can’t stand up long enough for it to go on. Rocky falls flat on his face and is more or less dead. Honky shouts ROLL HIM OVER! HHH finally tries to do just that and gets rolled up by Rocky for the pin and the title in perhaps the biggest upset of all time up to that point.

Rating: B-. This was good but it’s really just Rocky hanging in there until the end for the one small package to win the title. That being said, the resilience thing with HHH being all stuck up and not going for the kill when he could have makes this work more than it should. Also it’s Rock vs. HHH so it’s hard not to like it at least a little bit.

Rocky cuts his best Boy Scout promo after the match, saying he’ll make his fans and family proud.

Ad for Final Four which was a great main event.

Here’s Sunny, poured into a little white dress. Ah she’s ring announcer.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

Vince introduces Gorilla Monsoon who is going to accept the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels. Shawn limps out and is very sad. Here’s the basic idea: Shawn was supposed to return the favor to Bret and lose the title to him at Mania 13. However Shawn didn’t really want to do that and “hurt his knee” and couldn’t do it. He claimed the doctors said it could be career ending when it was really minor. In short, Shawn didn’t want to lose so he forfeited the title and was back in the ring by May. This is the famous Lost My Smile speech and not a lot of the guys in the back bought it to put it mildly.

Shawn gets all teary eyed and talks about his body being beaten up and all that jazz. HUGE We Want Sid, the guy that might have been winning the title that night depending on who you ask. No one has had to endure the schedule that Shawn had over the years etc. This is rather sickening knowing what’s actually going on here. Do I think he was hurt? Yeah he was somewhat hurt but at the end of the day he was looking out for himself here far more than anyone else when Shawn as a heel could have worked very well but he was afraid of doing it.

He talks about how he’s not going to be around the title for a long time. The doctors aren’t sure where his knee is and he may be beyond reconstructive surgery at this point. Shawn talks about riding in leer jets and limousines as I have a feeling like I’ve heard this before. You also have to remember that the WWF was in real trouble at this point and had it not been for Austin they would have been dead. He hands the belt to Monsoon and says he’s going back home. Shawn says that somewhere along the line he lost his smile. Oh dear.

Overall my thought on this is Shawn knew what was really going on and he put his ego over the fans, the company, the title and the rest of his roster. He had no problem taking all the benefits of being champion but didn’t want to do the harder parts of it (like losing) and that to me isn’t right. The fans were mixed to put it mildly on this. This would have been fine at its time, but given that he would be back before the summer kills any sympathy this would have had.

Savio Vega vs. Undertaker

Savio turned heel recently and joined the Nation. Taker was feuding with them for lack of anything better to do. He would win the title at Mania so it seems like he got noticed. After a break we’re back with Taker destroying him. The announcers talk about Bret vs. Vader but it’s not as bad as it was in the tag match. Why in the world am I watching Savio Vega vs. the Undertaker? Who thought this was a good idea?

Taker hits a big boot and stumbles back from it. Leg drop gets two on Savio. Not yet Old School hits as this is one sided for the most part. There are still tickets available for the PPV in Chattanooga. Savio gets a low blow and a set of clotheslines to get two. The other members of the Nation interfere a bit as we’re waiting for Taker to end Savio.

The fans chant rest in peace. My goodness how nice does it sound to be able to take a nap and let someone else do this? Or just to not watch this at all? Savio gets a spinwheel kick to put Taker down for two. Since that’s his finisher the rest of the match is pretty predictable. Taker is finally bored with all this and hits a chokeslam to end it.

Rating: D-. Oh dang it all this was boring. Nothing at all was going on here and it never got interesting. It’s nearly NINE MINUTES LONG. Why in the world did this need nearly ten minutes? It’s Undertaker vs. Savio Vega for crying out loud. Boring match and one of the least interesting things I’ve seen in a good while.

Nation attacks, Ahmed saves, Nation lackeys are hurt.

Psycho Sid vs. Steve Austin

After Austin’s entrance, Gorilla says that the four guys have a golden opportunity on Sunday. Sid will get his title shot and will get it against the winner of the Final Four match this coming Monday. Sid would face Bret and win the title. Sid was mad over to say the least. Austin jumps Sid to start and the fight was on. Jerry picks Austin to win the title on Sunday.

Austin kicks Sid low and does Sid’s taunts as this is a total battle from the bell. Fans are TOTALLY behind Austin which is saying a lot considering how over Sid was at this point. Austin sends him into the post and takes him down in the ring with an elbow. This is pre-neck injury for Austin so he’s a completely different guy than the brawler he would become. Abdominal stretch by Austin but Sid gets a sleeper. And never mind as Austin suplexes him almost immediately.

Off to a front facelock so they can call some spots. JR says it’ll be Austin as well on Sunday while Vince says it’ll be Sid. You know, the guy that isn’t in the match Sunday? Sid hammers him down and misses a legdrop so Austin tries a failed Sharpshooter. Big boot takes Austin down and then Bret comes out to fight Austin and it’s a DQ win for Stone Cold.

Rating: C+. This was a brawl with the fans telling you a lot about what they wanted. You had a crazy dude in Sid and Austin being the anti-authority figure that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully Vince listened and everything turned out well in the end. This was a fun brawl and that’s all it needed to be.

Bret and Sid fight while Austin laughs.

Vader stumbles through an interview where he says he’s beaten everyone in the Final Four match recently.

Lawler talks about sending his mom money for Valentine’s Day. This is being written on the night Lawler faced Miz for the WWE Title at the Elimination Chamber where Lawler was talking about his mother passing away the previous week so that’s kind of sad to hear.

We replay part of the Shawn speech about losing his smile. Did you check under that copy of “How to Fake a Knee Injury?” When Vince hugs Shawn you can see him thinking “You bastard!!!”

Tag Titles: Farooq/Crush vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

Bulldog and Hart had the titles forever in one of the longest title reigns in history. No one since has had a longer WWF/E tag title reign that I can remember. That doesn’t count the Smackdown tag titles made in 2002 mind you. Owen vs. Crush to start and the Canadian gets a cross body for two. Over to Bulldog as Crush throws Owen around a bit.

We take a break just after Farooq tags in. Vince says that if anything significant happens while we’re gone it’ll be shown. Nothing is shown so that means nothing of note is happening during a title match. That sounds like blasphemy to Vince to me. Owen and Bulldog had been having issues lately and they do here as well, resulting in Bulldog being in trouble.

Bret is watching the match and says that what Shawn said was sad. We got split screen to do this of course so we can barely see the match. Bulldog is getting beaten down here if you’re curious. Bret says that there’s no way around Vader so Bret will have to do something different than he did last time when he lost. It’s Hitman Time, not Vader Time.

Ah hey it’s the full match rather than the split one. Owen starts a Bulldog chant even though the Bulldog is getting crushed out there. Hey that was funny and wasn’t even supposed to be! I kill myself sometimes. Crush gets a bodyscissors. Vince: “Speaking of body scissors, how would you like to be bodyscissored by La Femme Nikita, coming up next on USA!” That man is a natural salesman if there has ever been one.

The fans chant what sounds like Bulldog/Owen but it’s not really clear. Maybe if it was in a town bigger than Lowell, Massachusetts that would go a bit better. Bulldog reverses a bearhug with a belly to belly but can’t get a tag. Owen gets tagged but it’s not seen in a classic tag team move. Smith finally gets an enziguri to bring in Owen who cleans house. Missile dropkick to Crush gets two and it all breaks down. We hit the floor and Owen might have injured his knee. Injured or HBK-ified, it’s good enough for the count out to end this.

Rating: D+. I just wasn’t feeling this one at all. The idea was to plug the whole fighting amongst themselves champions and while that happened this felt rushed and a big forced. Not a terrible match but it just kind of came and went. The knee injury never went anywhere that I can remember.

The Nation beats down Bulldog post match while Owen tries to fix his knee. Bulldog helps him out but Owen limps back to get the belts. That’s nice subtle heel stuff.

Vader vs. Bret Hart

Main event time here. Before we get started though Taker comes out to watch. Oh and he’s got a loud mic. He hates to interrupt but Taker gets no respect anymore. This is a very un-Deadman like promo. He’s talking fast and sounds more like Biker Taker than Deadman Taker. Vader jumps Bret as Taker leaves and Hart is in trouble early on as we take a break.

Apparently just after they went to a break Austin came out and stomped on Bret some before being sent to the back. Vader goes up and Bret catches him in a POWERSLAM??? WHAT THE HECK??? Bret pounds away and gets a terrible looking Russian Leg Sweep for two. It might have helped if he actually, you know, swept the leg? BRET SLAMS VADER!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I WATCHING????? He picked him up like he was a cruiserweight and just turned him over for a slam like it was nothing. WHAT THE HECK?????

Bret can’t get the Sharpshooter. Well I guess he was in Power Bret mode or something. Dude Bret Hart slammed Vader. I can’t get over that. Why not a belly to back suplex too? Bret is throwing Vader around like he weighs 180. Bret low bridges Vader and there’s the Sharpshooter but Vader grabs a rope. Austin pops up in the balcony to yell at Bret and Vader drills the Canadian from behind. Vadersault misses and Bret gets the easy pin to end the show.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it was ok I guess. I really can’t get over that slam. Bret Hart just picked Vader up like he was picking up a Slurpie. This was just a match to set up the PPV for the most part with nothing special going on at all. Austin’s interference felt rushed as did Taker’s at the beginning. Either way the match at the PPV was great.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there’s certainly a lot of history here but the delivery isn’t that great. Shawn’s speech doesn’t really mean a lot anymore as he more or less just took a vacation. This wasn’t that bad though and considering the card had to be shuffled earlier in the week as did the PPV, this was pretty solid. Not great, but good enough for what it was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2013
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the last week before Elimination Chamber and the word on the street is that there’s going to be another Elimination Chamber match announced, although in the form of a three on three WarGames style match. I’d be more than cool with this as the Chamber is the only way they’re going to be able to use the idea in WWE due to the size of the extra ring taking up too much space. Rock is in the house too. Let’s get to it.

Heyman opens the show and talks about all the sacrifices he’s made over the years with a focus on ECW. Then he came to WWE (F at the time) and saw a rookie named Brock Lesnar. Heyman turned him into the Next Big Thing and saw a man that could carry WWE into the future and break Sammartino’s record. Oh wait he means Punk should have broken the record.

Apparently something very bad is going to happen and the Sword of Damocles is hanging over Paul’s head, but it’s going to fall onto Punk’s head. Therefore, tonight he’s going to tender his resignation, because he isn’t going to distract Punk from winning the title back. He’s going to miss Punk but he’ll be cheering for him.

Cue Punk with a concerned look on his face. Paul says that Vince believes that he was behind Shield, Lesnar and Maddox and even though he wasn’t, it doesn’t matter. Punk says both he and the people look up to him so he can’t leave. Heyman says he told Punk when he started that in the land of the McMahons, perception is reality.

What happened at the Rumble is nothing compared to what’s coming, so remember him as a friend and not a martyr. Punk says forget all this because on Sunday, everything will be back to normal. He’ll win the title and Heyman will be in his corner. Paul says he’ll be there on Sunday and they hug. Ok then.

Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

Apparently Mysterio was injured last week so he’s out of the Chamber. He wasn’t at the house show I was at last night so maybe there’s something to that. We’ve currently got Bryan, Orton and Henry inside there. Henry pounds Khali into the corner to start but runs into an elbow and boot to slow him down. Henry shrugs it off and hits some clotheslines to put Khali down and the World’s Strongest Slam ends this at 1:34.

Horny gets a slam as well post match.

Jericho wants in the Chamber but Booker says he has to beat Daniel Bryan first. Booker yells at Teddy a bit too, and we get a Jericho impression of Booker for fun.

Vickie is on the phone with someone when Heyman comes in. Paul wants a stipulation added to the title match Sunday but a phone call from Vince interrupts them. Heyman asks to talk to Vince so Vickie turns speaker on. Paul apologizes to Vince for what Lesnar did and knows that Vince will be back soon. Vince tells him to shut up and wants to know the stipulation Heyman had in mind. Paul suggests that if Rock gets counted out or DQ’ed that Punk gets the title back. Vince says put it in writing and it’s a deal before hanging up. We get dial tone off an iPhone 5. Methinks this is fake.

Fandango is coming. I saw him last night and I don’t want to see him again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho

We start things off with a feeling out process as Cole talks about the history between these two on the first season of NXT. Jericho sends him to the apron but misses the springboard dropkick. Bryan hits the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with more back and forth action, such as Bryan hitting a clothesline but having a running dropkick into the corner countered into a Walls attempt.

The Lionsault hits knees though and Bryan goes up. Jericho breaks up whatever Daniel was going to try though and tries a superplex, only to be knocked off, giving us the FLYING GOAT HEADBUTT for two. Jericho tries for the Walls again but gets countered into a NO Lock. Jericho rolls through again and loads up the Walls, only for Bryan to roll through and kick him in the chest. A rollup gets two for Chris and after ducking another kick, Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: B-. Solid match here but you knew that was going to be the case when it was happening. Bryan looked fine here, but again I can’t stand that they have one guy get into the Chamber by beating someone already in it. It makes one of the people look weak going into the match, and that’s not good. It’s ok when you do it for one guy at most, but doing it with nearly half the people is annoying.

3MB vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Ryback

Methinks this isn’t going to last long. Slater vs. Ryback gets things going and there’s Warrior gorilla press drop to start. Off to Sheamus vs. McIntyre with Sheamus pounding away quickly. A right hand to the face slows Sheamus down but he comes right back with the forearms to the chest. Off to Cena vs. Mahal and Cena gives a look as if to say “let’s get this over with.” John easily knocks him down and hits the Shuffle before everything breaks down. We get stereo AA/Shell Shock and White Noise with Cena pinning Mahal at 2:50.

Regarding the six man, this was perfect. We got to see how awesome these three can be together, it was short, and it’s not like 3MB loses anything here. I liked this a lot and the idea and execution were perfect.

Ryback says he’s going to feast on Sunday. Sheamus says he doesn’t believe in the Shield but he believes they can fight tonight instead. Cena says if they want some come get some.

We get a clip of Del Rio breaking Show’s bus on Friday and pouring paint on him. Earlier today Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were laughing about it and Show massacred them.

Here’s Big Show to the ring so he can knock out Matt Striker. Show picks up the mic and walks out. Ok then.

Sammartino HOF video.

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger

Dutch Mantel of all people, known here as Zeb Coulter, is with Swagger here. Ryder hits a fast Broski Boot to start but gets sent to the floor for a belly to belly suplex. Back in and Swagger pounds away before hitting a buckle bomb to stop Zack dead. The gutwrench bomb and Patriot Act end this at 2:40.

Post match Coulter goes on a rant about how this isn’t his America anymore. He sees people that don’t look like him that he can’t understand anymore. Coultier wants to get rid of these people and oh dear goodness this ABSOLUTELY CANNOT END WELL. I’m a big political geek and this sounds like a Tea Party character. This cannot end well. Period.

Booker says Swagger is in the Chamber now. Ziggler comes up to whine about Jericho being in the Chamber and says that if he’s in, Ziggler wants in. Booker makes Ziggler vs. Kane, winner gets the last spot in the Chamber.

We recap Lesnar beating up Miz last week.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cesaro is on commentary because the feud continues. Feeling out process to start with Rhodes taking over, hitting a running knee to the face for two. Off to an armbar for a bit but Miz comes back with a flapjack. We head to the floor where Cody is sent into the apron, but Miz has to stop and kick a charging Cesaro in the face. Cesaro gets up and posts Miz for the DQ at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was all for the ending because Cesaro has only beaten Miz once or twice now. I will give them this though: at least they didn’t have Rhodes lose clean, which would have been probably the worst thing they could have done. I’m guessing we get Miz vs. Cesaro on Sunday now.

Post match Cesaro grabs Miz and hits a kind of giant swing, but each time Miz is rammed head first into the barricade. That was pretty awesome.

Wrestlemania Reading Challenge video.

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Primo/Epico

Tensai and I think Epico start things off and the fat man takes over. House is quickly cleaned and it’s the suplex from Brodue and the backsplash to Primo for the pin at 1:11.

Post match it’s time to dance. Of and Rosa gets thrown to the floor and beaten up by the Funkadactyls.

Here’s Shield to talk about how they’re here to shield us from atrocities. They call out the three guys that challenged them earlier to a fight right now but there’s no one coming. Rollins says Cena fails every day just by existing, and on Sunday he’ll fail again. Ambrose talks about how Cena lives in his own little world with no idea what the real world is like.

Cena has set the standard for everyone in this generation and is the reason a lot of them are here today. They call out all three guys again and there go the lights. They come back up and it’s Cena, Ryback and Sheamus in the ring to start the brawl. It heads into the crowd and the Shield runs.

We recap the Punk/Heyman segment from earlier.

Damien Sandow makes fun of Nashville’s taste in music.

Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio

Sandow starts fast and hits a Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for no cover. Del Rio avoids a clothesline in the corner and fires off some clotheslines. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Sandow down and there’s the low superkick for two. The Cross Armbreaker ends this at 1:16.

Del Rio praises Big Show’s promo earlier (where he didn’t say anything) because the time for talking is done. It won’t be in a bus or a hotel room, because the only place Del Rio wants to go is Wrestlemania.

Barrett is on the way to the ring when Bo Dallas jumps him.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is shaken up because of being attacked. Kofi takes over to start but Wade comes right back with some knees to the ribs and an elbow to the face for one. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds but Kofi hits a jawbreaker to escape. A kind of splash to the back of the bent over Barrett (for you indy fans, think Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell) gets two as does a top rope cross body. Another springboard misses and the Winds of Change get two for Wade. The Bull Hammer and Trouble in Paradise miss but as Kofi goes to the floor, the Hammer hits for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well he won at least. That’s better than you can say for most matches for the midcard champion anymore. There wasn’t much to see here but Kofi is always good for a decent performance. Barrett vs. Dallas has some potential to be good and the feud is shaping up pretty well.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

The winner gets to join Bryan, Swagger, Orton, Henry and Jericho in the Chamber. Kane slugs him down to start as Cole and Lawler talk about Valentine’s Day. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and some stomping to the back before pounding away in the corner. Kane tosses Ziggler into the air to slow him down but Dolph bails to the floor to avoid a chokeslam.

We take a break and come back with Kane charging into a boot in the corner. Ziggler gets up onto the corner, only to get knocked off via an uppercut. Langston stands over Ziggler as if to say bring it on Kane but Ziggy takes Kane down before the showdown. Back in and Ziggler fires off a bunch of elbow drops but his cross body is caught.

Ziggler escapes again and hits the jumping DDT for no cover. Off to the sleeper for a bit but Kane slams him down, only to get caught with the Fameasser. Kane comes back with the side slam and goes up, but AJ gets the distraction. She gets knocked into Langston which distracts Ziggler just enough for the chokeslam to put Kane in the Chamber at 10:20.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty decent match with Kane being his usual decent self. His style fits well with small athletic guys so it was no shock that the match was a success. Ziggler jobs again despite being likely to win the championship in a few months at worst. That’s WWE for you, although Ziggler being concerned about AJ is a new development.

Video on how the Chamber works.

Here’s Rock to end the show. He says that right now is Story Time with the Rock. In 1987, Rock and his family moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Rock signed up for high school as a 6’4, 220lbs fifteen year old. Unfortunately he couldn’t get anything from the girls because they thought he was an undercover cop. Since he was so big, he hung out at a bar with his boy Downtown Bruno (Harvey Wippleman’s character).

One night at the bar someone showed up (“No not Jeff Jarrett.”) but it wasn’t the person he was hoping it was: Willie Nelson. Instead it was a crackhead who had a car to sell. He wanted $75 so Rock gave him a $40 down payment. “Yeah at 15 years old Rock was hustling a crackhead in a bar.” He was out driving it when he found out that there was another crackhead in the back seat. Rock threw the crackhead out and then thought the car might be stolen. So he ditched the car at 2am in a Burger King parking lot and walked right back to Tootsie’s Lounge, which I guess is a popular place in Nashville.

Two lessons from the story: if you’re buying a car, don’t buy it from a crackhead. Also, don’t be like Rock at 15. Instead be like him at 25 when he had his first match at the Nashville Fairgrounds. Those matches got him started on the road to where he is today, which is where he’ll be after Elimination Chamber: on top of the world as WWE Champion.

This brings out Punk but Rock says that he’s ready to go right now. There goes the shirt but Punk stops before he gets to the ring. Scratch that as Punk charges in and Rock beats him into the corner. There’s the spinebuster but Heyman breaks up the Elbow. The GTS takes out Rock and Punk walks off with the title. Punk says that if Rock brings it, Punk will take it. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty sweet show as we had a running theme of the Chamber going. Rock sells the PPV as only he can and we’ve got a good six man to give the top stars something to do until the real build to Wrestlemania starts. This was a really solid show though, political “insights” aside. Good stuff here.

Results

Mark Henry b. Great Khali – World’s Strongest Slam

Chris Jericho b. Daniel Bryan – Codebreaker

Ryback/John Cena/Sheamus b. 3MB – Attitude Adjustment to Slater

Jack Swagger b. Zack Ryder – Patriot Act

Brodus Clay/Tensai b. Primo/Epico – Backsplash to Primo

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross Armbreaker

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and remember to pick up my new ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews on Amazon at:

The year of 2001 is gone and we’re now into the year that might be even worse in 2002. At this point we’re getting close to the Brand Split that has dominated the company since it first started. On the Raw side, the year would be dominated by some surprising champions in the form of Undertaker and Hulk Hogan, but by the end of the ear we’ll be getting a DX reunion and a big feud over the newly created World Heavyweight Championship. This is the first full year when WWF had no competition so let’s get to it.

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 13,978
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the night of the loudest pop I’ve ever heard in wrestling as HHH is back from eight months of recovery from quadriceps surgery. To say there’s nothing else going on tonight is an understatement, but that’s going to be the case for a lot of these shows in the future. We’re coming up on the Rumble and if you can’t guess who is winning that, I can’t help you. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is set to Beautiful Day as HHH is back tonight.

Tonight we have a tag team contest “for the ages.” It’s Booker T/Big Boss Man vs. Rock/Austin. If those are the ages, then the ages are lost.

Here’s Vince to open things up with a blue box. This is during the time where he and Flair co-owned the company and Vince isn’t happy. We get a montage of Flair’s triumphs of the 80s and 90s, which would be much better if it wasn’t set to Cocky by Kid Rock. We also get a clip of Flair announcing himself as the new co-owner of the WWF. Then Flair challenged Vince to a match at the Rumble and punched Vince out at the same time. Vince goes to the box and pulls out….a Flair wig and robe. He does a Flair strut which finally brings out Naitch. Stupid sign of the night in the crowd: “Rick Flair is God.”

Flair talks all slow and respectful before going into a classic rant, talking about how McMahon will NEVER do this again no matter what. He says he’s Ric Flair and Vince is not so take the wig off RIGHT NOW. As Vince takes the robe off though, he blasts Flair in the head with a hidden pipe. Flair gets posted and stomped on for a bit as well.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

The idea here is that Test can do whatever he wants because he has immunity from a battle royal win at Survivor Series. Test pounds away to start but Van Dam comes back with a spinwheel kick to take over. Another spin kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb and the Canadian pounds away on the head. A clothesline in the corner gets two and it’s off to the chinlock already. Rob fights up and escapes a suplex before kicking Test’s leg out.

Van Dam kicks Test down but Test kicks the referee into the ropes for the crotch. The referee and Test get in a shoving match which gives Van Dam two. Test misses the big boot so Van Dam kicks him to the floor where Test grabs a chair. The referee is shoved down again and it’s the Van Daminator to set up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just ok for the most part. The Test storyline didn’t really go anywhere as at the end of the day, he’s just Test. He was a whiny guy that never did anything of note after the year 2000, so why should anyone care that he’s shoving referees around? Nothing to see here.

Angle is annoyed at HHH getting all the attention when he isn’t even here. He has a big announcement of his own, but he’ll save it for later.

Trish and Terri argue at WWF New York, resulting in a wet t-shirt contest later tonight. This was back when Trish was a blonde head of hair and a big rack and nothing more.

Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck aren’t entirely gay yet, but Billy does suggest that they should be in the wet t-shirt contest rather than the girls. Billy and Albert get things going and it’s Albert taking over on both of the guys in red. We get the COMEDY spot of Billy being sent into the corner and falling face first into Chuck’s crotch because that’s funny right? Scotty comes in with a neckbreaker for two on Chuck but Billy blasts him in the back to take over. The heels take over for a bit, but Scotty comes back with a DDT on Chuck to put both guys down.

There’s the hot tag to Albert as the fans are nearly comatose. A powerslam gets two on Chuck and there’s a splash in the corner to Billy. Chuck hits Billy by mistake and Scotty loads up the Worm. After a dancing accompaniment by Albert, the Worm gets two but Billy breaks it up. Chuck superkicks Albert down and the Fameasser is enough to pin Scotty.

Rating: D. This would be your second straight lame match that doesn’t accomplish anything and is really here just to fill in some time. I’d almost think that they were intentionally having a boring show so that HHH’s return looks all the more awesome, but they would NEVER do something like that right?

Jericho demands more respect and doesn’t want to face Rikishi, even in a non-title match. Oh and he sucks up to Vince for a bit.

Michael Cole is in a yellow shirt and is WAY too excited. Austin comes up and gives him the still fresh WHAT treatment. Austin says he saw HHH here in the back and he isn’t sure what to think of it. He knows what it’s like to come back from a nearly career ending injury. That being said, he didn’t want to say hi to HHH.

Tonight he’s here to enter the Royal Rumble, which is the match where you take a man and throw him over the top, then you take another (WHAT), then another (WHAT), repeat I kid you not 28 times. He actually said it that many times. Also tonight Austin is teaming up with the Rock, which prompts a bunch of WHAT’s. Austin is really into this at the moment and it’s working really well.

Lawler has a watergun and gets to emcee the t-shirt contest.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Edge is defending. Storm immediately jumps Edge and clotheslines him in the corner. They trade some fast rollups and Storm hooks the Canadian Maple Leaf (half crab). That goes nowhere so Edge elbows him in the face a few times and hits the Impaler to retain. This was barely a minute long.

William Regal jumps Edge as he leaves and it’s the Power of the Punch for the champion.

Buy the WWF Magazine to read EVEN MORE about HHH.

Angle complains to European Champion Christian about HHH returning. It was Angle that saved the company at Survivor Series and it’s Angle that brings happiness and joy to children every day. They make fun of Beautiful Day for a bit too before Angle gets in this gem: “I tore my quadricep this morning and I’m here tonight!” When Angle is on, he’s WAY on and he certainly was here.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Booker T

Booker and Boss Man are Vince’s cronies and they’re fighting the heroes. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Rock vs. Booker on the floor and a Thesz Press to Boss Man back inside. They switch partners and it’s Austin vs. Booker to start things off. A hot shot puts Booker down as Boss Man is rammed into the table a few times. Austin throws Booker to the floor so Rock throws Boss Man inside.

It’s time to stomp a mudhole as the Super Best Friends are completely dominant so far. Another clothesline puts Boss Man down and it’s off to Rock. The big jumping clothesline gets two for Rocky but Boss Man hits a kind of running clothesline in the corner to take over. Off to Rock who gets his face slammed into the mat, only to come back and send Rock to the floor. Back in and Booker stomps away but Rock pops up for a quick slugout.

A spinebuster puts Booker down but Boss Man breaks up the People’s Elbow. There’s the Book End but Austin comes in to break up something that hadn’t started yet. Boss Man comes in to fire off a knee to Rock’s chest and Booker adds a superkick for two. Austin comes in to break things up again and this time it’s enough for the hot tag to the Rattlesnake. Boss Man seems to have issues with any spot where he has to be lifted into the air. Everything breaks down for a third time and the Stunner pins Boss Man.

Rating: D+. Tag match for the ages? This? This was two legends beating up a big name and a guy who was over the hill nine years before this. It was clear that Austin was losing steam at this point as there was no fire in him here at all. He wasn’t terrible looking or anything, but at the end of the day he’s beating up Big Boss Man. Can you blame him for bailing in a few months?

Beer is consumed.

Apparently Rikishi gave Test a Stinkface recently.

Rikishi vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Rikishi shoves him around to start and loads up a quick Stinkface, only to have referee Nick Patrick block it for no apparent reason. We head to the floor where Jericho rips the padding off the barricade and whips the fat man into it to take over. Back inside we go and Jericho gets two off a missile dropkick. The Lionsault misses though and the fat man starts his comeback.

A kind of Alabama Slam puts Jericho down and there’s a Samoan Drop for no cover. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Patrick blocks it again. After shoving him away, Rikishi misses the Banzai and Jericho heads to the floor. He grabs one of the belts but the swing misses and Rikishi superkicks Jericho into Patrick. A Stinkface only hits the referee and it’s a belt shot to Rikishi’s non-stereotyped head for the pin.

Rating: D. Did we really need a crooked referee, a belt shot and a cheating win for Chris Jericho to beat Rikishi in less than four and a half minutes? The match was dull and mainly there for the chance of Rikishi hitting a Stinkface, which isn’t really all that interesting at the end of the day. Another nothing match.

Big Show, Torrie and Tajiri have an awkward moment talking about HHH until Angle comes in and accuses them of acting like teenagers at a Ricky Martin concert. Tajiri does a Martin impression. Next.

We recap the Vince/Flair thing earlier.

The Dudleys get in a confrontation with Tazz and Spike, who they defend against in a bit. Wouldn’t this be better suited for more than five minutes before the match?

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz

This is hardcore for no apparent reason and Stacy is with the Dudleys. It’s a brawl to start with Spike being sent into the steps. Bubba sprays him with a fire extinguisher as the fans want tables. Spike tries a sunset flip on Bubba, only to get blasted with the extinguisher again. A HARD trashcan lid to the face puts Tazz down and What’s Up Tazz? Bubba wants tables but whispers it because he’s evil right now.

Tazz is almost put through but Spike makes the save with a stop sign. There’s a Tazmission to D-Von but Tazz has to let it go to move a table. Stacy flashes Tazz to distract him but Bubba gets the view instead, allowing for a suplex onto a table. Spike puts him through the table with a Dudley Dog for the upset and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match was fast paced but not all that great. The problem here was that at the end of the day, does anyone buy Spike and Tazz as a long term championship team? It was clear that they were transitional champions, which is ok, but it doesn’t do much overall. The live crowd loved this though and there was a match before this to set it up, so it was far better than some other angles I’ve seen that tried to do the same thing.

Undertaker says he’s winning the Rumble, and wishes HHH bad luck.

It’s time for the wet t-shirt contest now. Terri goes first and Jerry freaks out as you can see through her shirt. Trish leans against the ropes to get wetted down, but Jazz runs in to beat her down and end the contest. This was about what you would expect from it.

Here’s the reason this show exists: HHH makes his return to the absolutely loudest pop I have ever heard in MSG and likely the loudest I’ve ever heard anywhere. I mean the place EXPLODES. He poses for a good long while as the fans will not stop cheering. That’s very awesome when you think about it. HHH says he’s the Game and he’s back to another huge reaction. He officially enters the Rumble and here’s Angle to break it up. Kurt says that he too will be in the Rumble which is the big announcement he’s been talking about all night. The brawl is on and HHH of course gets the better of it, hitting a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show isn’t bad but it’s clear that all they’ve got to hope for at this point is HHH. His return was awesome, but they’re not going to have an MSG crowd to bail them out of a weak show week after week. Next week is the go home show for the Rumble though so we’ve got a lot of changes coming up which would be changed even more in a few months. Not a terrible show but it’s nothing worth seeing other than the end.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

That’s very true in this last week.The Divas have been absent from Raw and Smackdown and I’ve grown much fonder for WWE TV.

This is an interesting story that I only see one side to for the most part.As you’ve likely heard (at least you have if you follow this site, which you should), TNA is taking their TV tapings national, meaning they’ll be going around the country.  WWE has started going to mid-sized areas around the same areas for house shows to try to sabotage TNA.  Some TNA fans are crying foul over this, but I have absolutely no problem with TNA doing this.

TNA is the company that tried to start the second Monday Night Wars (remember that pitiful attempt?).  Now they’re trying to go national to compete with WWE.  Look at what WWE has done both times: they’ve fought back.  How can TNA fans claim that this is unfair?  It’s like picking on someone and then getting annoyed when they punch you in the jaw.

TNA is the company trying to move up the ladder.  If the people at the top of the ladder don’t want them there, they can fight back.  You can’t try to move up and then complain that a larger company is playing unfair.  In the words of Scott Hall, TNA wanted a war and now they’ve got one.  The problem is WWE has a lot more bullets and much bigger tanks.

I really don’t see how WWE has done anything wrong here or why TNA and/or its fans have any reason to complain.  If WWE is viewing them as an annoyance (saying WWE views them as a threat at this point is laughable at best) and wants to crush them, I’d think of that more of a good sign for TNA than anything else.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 8, 1997
Location: Civic Center, Portland, Maine
Attendance: 6,510
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly, Michael Cole

This is another request for reasons that I don’t remember. It’s the night after DX In Your House which means that Austin retained the IC Title and Shawn kept the WWF Title from Shamrock. It also means that Owen Hart ran in to attack Shawn after the match was over, revealing that he was still around after the Montreal Screwjob. I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package from last night of Austin vs. Rock. No mention of the world title match yet.

Here’s Vince to open things up. He talks about how Austin has been getting away with murder lately and that can’t keep going. Austin has been hitting WWF officials like announcers and referees which he did again last night. The big Austin chant is already beginning. Before there could be a DQ though, another referee came in and counted the pin on Austin to retain the title. Vince makes Austin vs. Rock tonight and cue the Rattlesnake.

Austin gets right in Vince’s face and says that he doesn’t care about the officials that are surrounding the ring. He doesn’t feel like defending the title but if he doesn’t, there will be consequences. Vince gets in Austin’s face and Austin is all like bring it on boy. Austin talks about defending the title already last night and doesn’t think he needs to do it again tonight. Someone is getting a beating tonight and Austin isn’t sure who it’s going to be yet.

Time to plug a sponsor! It’s Karate Fighters in this case which is kind of a Rock Em Sock Em Robots knockoff. Lawler beats Sunny to win a tournament but gets caught cheating, giving the chick the title.

We recap the not interesting stuff last night with the Outlaws, the Godwinns and the LOD.

Legion of Doom vs. Godwinns

The tag champion Outlaws (not yet named) are here with the Godwinns for no apparent reason. It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Animal vs. Henry. They slug it out so here’s Hawk for some elbows. Animal comes back in with another elbow of his own before it’s off to Hawk vs. Phineas for some slow punching. Hawk hits his one wrestling move, the neckbreaker, only to miss his flying clothesline….and there go the lights. Cue Kane as the match is thrown out somewhere in there. Too short to rate but it was nothing to see at all.

Animal and the Godwinns brawl away as Kane is left alone with Hawk. A regular piledriver (huh?) is no sold by Hawk so there’s a chokeslam and tombstone to put him down. Kane leaves so the Outlaws come out for an attempted beatdown, only for Animal to make the save with a chair.

Post break the Outlaws sing a goodbye song to the “OLD”. Road Dogg issues an open challenge for anyone to face Billy, so here’s what we get.

Billy Gunn vs. Dude Love

The brawl starts on the floor and Roadie jumps in on commentary. Dude gets knocked into the announce table and Dogg gets to crack some jokes. Love comes back with right hands in the ring and a backslide for two, only to get taken down by a clothesline from Billy. Gunn misses a splash in the corner and Dude pounds away before sending Billy face first into the buckle a few times. Sweet Shin Music misses but a second attempt works a bit better, followed by the double arm DDT for the pin on Billy.

Rating: C-. For a four minute TV match between a comedy jobber and Mick Foley in his comedic persona, this was pretty decent stuff. The Outlaws would move on to feuding with Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) before joining DX. In other words, we have a match that actually accomplishes something in the WWF.

Post match Billy hits a guillotine legdrop onto Dude’s face with a belt in between.

JR teaches Taka Michinoku, who won the first Light Heavyweight Title last night, some English.

Here’s Jim Cornette with Taka, but Lawler interrupts Cornette before the first challenger can be announced. Lawler says that Taka stole the title from Brian Christopher and we get some anti-Japanese jokes. The first challenger is El Unico, which is clearly Brian Christopher under a mask. Lawler and Unico stomp down Taka and there goes the mask to shock no one.

We get a history of Shawn destroying the Hart Family over the last few months.

Kurrgan vs. Flash Funk

Jackyl is on commentary here and he talks about how tonight is the start of a revolution. This is the same kind of monster dominance that you would expect. Kurrgan pounds Funk down, Funk gets in a few shots, the Claw ends Funk quickly.

Post match Kurrgan won’t let go of the hold and the referee reverses the decision. The other members of the Truth Commission can’t get Kurrgan off Flash either.

Some stills explain the world title match last night.

Shamrock was mad last night.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s DX to open the second half of the show. Remember at this point it’s just Shawn, HHH and Chyna. HHH talks about how last night Sgt. Slaughter thought he could chop down a guy like HHH but that just wasn’t going to happen. There’s a card table set up in the ring. Shawn talks about schooling Shamrock last night before shifting over to the Hart Family, who he refers to bodily waste. As many times as you try to flush it, a tiny piece keeps coming back up. Owen Hart is that small piece and Shawn is tired of having him around.

Shawn wants Owen to come out here, so DX is going to sit down and play a little game of strip poker until Owen Hart comes out here. He guarantees full nudity tonight no matter how long the game takes. They sit down for the game as DOA is riding to the ring for their match. This should be interesting, but it’s DOA so that isn’t likely.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas

The poker game has moved to the floor after a break. This is Skull/8-Ball vs. Perez/Estrada here I believe. Shawn has lost his shirt already. The Puerto Ricans are destroyed for awhile until they start double teaming to take I think Skull down. Skull takes Perez down but there’s no referee to count. The card game is still going on at ringside while the match is going on. Estrada beats on Skull as Shawn loses his shoes and socks. Skull hits a swinging neckbreaker to put Estrada down and it’s a double tag. Everything breaks down and Savio hits Skull in the back with a board for the pin.

Rating: F. This was so boring and I have no idea why these teams fought so many times. They feuded for the better part of a year and the bikers almost never won a single thing. The match wasn’t any good and the wrestlers in it were nothing interesting either. That sums up a good bit of 1997 on Raw actually.

The poker game has moved back to the ring and Chyna still hasn’t lost anything. There go Shawn’s pants and here come the Headbangers. DX destroys them on principle and Shawn brags a lot, but here’s Owen for the run in and run away.

Buy the PPV replay!

Jeff Jarrett vs. Vader

This is Jeff Jarrett to debut in the ring tonight after jumping back from WCW. Before the match starts though, here’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust to flash Vader. The chase is on and we have no match. Scratch that as Jeff wins by countout. Ok then.

Salvatore Sincere vs. Marc Mero

Mero almost got knocked out in a toughman contest fight last night by Butterbean but wound up hitting him with a stool for a DQ. Before the match, Mero calls Sincere a jobber with a stupid gimmick (JR: “Yeah and you’re a Badd Badd Man) and brings out his property, Sable. She’s in a potato sack but takes it off to reveal a barely there swimsuit. Sincere dropkicks him to the floor and I guess it’s another countout.

Here’s the Nation for the IC Title match tonight. Austin comes out in jeans because he still hasn’t said he’ll defend the title. Vince yells at him and threatens to strip Austin of the belt, but Austin says that’s cool because he wants the world title. He isn’t being stripped, but rather forfeiting the belt. Rock is officially the champion but there’s a Stunner for him to end the show. Austin tells Vince he’s coming for the title and there’s nothing Vince can do about it.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t about wrestling but DANG was it fun. Austin is clearly way too big for the Intercontinental Title at this point and he’s more than ready to fight for the world title. Perhaps he could get there by say….winning the Royal Rumble? That’s coming up in a few weeks so why not? Oddly enough no Undertaker tonight but I think he’s gone due to Kane. Fun but not good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw reviews at: