Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 2000
Location: Hilton Coliseum, Ames, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re approaching Armageddon here and we’re just past Survivor Series. Angle is world champion at the moment but I don’t think his opponent has been announced for the next PPV yet. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Austin in I believe a non-title match. Austin isn’t quite yet back to his levels before he took the year off for neck surgery, so it’s hard to say what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from Smackdown of Austin snapping and beating up everyone in sight.

Here’s Angle to open the show in full warmup gear. He talks about how he’s amazing and all, but he doesn’t like having to look over his shoulder every time he performs. Angle says wrestling is the only profession where someone can assault you on the job and not get in trouble but be praised! Kurt talks about Taker, HHH and Austin attacking people and how it’s just another day at the office. He’s had it because he’s a wrestler and not a sports entertainer. This is goofy Kurt still, so this isn’t a big shoot or anything.

We’re thirteen days away from a show called Armageddon and if these acts of violence don’t end, he’s taking the title and going home. Here are Commissioner Foley and Lieutenant Commissioner Debra who aren’t cool with that. Foley talks about how Stephanie keeps interfering in Kurt’s matches but Kurt says that makes no difference while insulting Iowans’ intelligence.

Mick says Stephanie and HHH aren’t expected to be here tonight due to some travel issues. There’s going to be a world title match at Armageddon if Angle is still champion. It’s Rock vs. Rikishi for the title shot, but that’s not all. Also, Angle has to defend against someone to be announced later.

Rock arrives.

Edge and Christian talk about how the year 2000 is a vintage year for sodas when Angle comes in. Edge: “You totally presented arguments and backed them up with logic and reasoning!” Edge and Angle try to figure out who Kurt is facing tonight when Christian sees Taker arriving on a monitor. Edge: “Holy rematches Kurt!”

Trish Stratus/T&A vs. Hollies

All three of the Holly cousins here. The girls start with Trish firing off some kicks to start. Molly fights back with chops to the ample target of Trish’s chest. Trish brings in Test to face Hardcore in an ECW preview. Test pounds away in the corner but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Off to Crash for a missile dropkick (and a POP) for two but Test pounds him about the head and shoulders.

The future Tensai comes in and hits a delayed butterfly suplex for two. Crash gets to play Ricky Morton a bit and we get his usual good selling. A jawbreaker allows the tag to Hardcore who kicks Albert low to take over. Well when all else fails I guess. Everything breaks down and Molly hits a flip dive off the apron to take Trish down. Hardcore ducks the big boot of Test so that it knocks out Albert and a dropkick gets the pin on the big bald guy.

Rating: D+. The Hollies were a decent midcard act and putting the over a team like this was fine. It helped that Molly had this great cuteness to her and she was poured into the tops she wore. Trish was just a gorgeous blonde at this point that didn’t have any skills in the ring at all but she would get better.

Angle sucks up to Kane (“You’re welcome over for Christmas!”) and asks to talk about something related to Taker. Kane goes with Kurt.

Rock is going to be on some TV show.

Rikishi says he deserves the title shot and that he’ll take out Rock tonight once and for all.

Taker is tuning up his bike when Kane jumps him and the brawl is on. Angle/Edge/Christian are watching on a monitor and seem very pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Billy Gunn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Billy beat Eddie on Smackdown to win the title and this is the rematch. Eddie starts fast but gets caught in the corner and punched in the face. A clothesline gets two for Gunn but a charge in the corner misses Eddie. Guerrero chokes away in the corner and we head to the outside. Gunn holds his back and we head back in for a belly to back suplex for two from Eddie.

Billy gets rammed into the buckle a few times and it’s all Eddie so far. The champ comes back with a powerslam for two but Eddie dropkicks him in the face to shift momentum right back. Eddie goes up top but gets superplexed right back down to put both guys on the mat. Back up and Gunn hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two but here’s Saturn with a distraction that gets two for Eddie. Malenko comes in and blasts Billy in the back but Billy hits a quick cobra clutch slam on Eddie to retain.

Rating: C-. This was short and not great, but they certainly put Billy over strong. It’s not that it mattered much as Benoit would win the title soon, but for the time it was a good rub for him. I’m not sure why they kept pushing Billy as the guy just didn’t work in singles matches, but at least they were trying I guess.

The Radicalz come in for a four on one beatdown on Gunn post match. Benoit would get the title in a few weeks.

During the break, Taker talked to Foley and gets a match with Kane tonight.

Here’s Angle to watch the #1 contenders match.

Rikishi vs. The Rock

Rock won the first match between these two at Survivor Series. Rock pounds away to start and takes the fat guy down with a clothesline. A Samoan Drop gets two and Rock keeps hammering away. Rikishi gets in some shots but Rock punches him right back down. The guy in the thong hits a belly to belly suplex but Rock puts him down with a spinebuster to set up the Sharpshooter but Angle runs in for the DQ. Nothing match here that was all about the run-in ending. Rock wins by DQ if that’s not clear.

Dean Malenko is hitting on Lita but gets turned down, so The Radicalz ram a door onto Lita and the Hardys gets in a brawl with them as a result. The Hardys get left laying due to the numbers game.

Undertaker vs. Kane

It’s a big brawl to start of course with Kane taking over early on. Taker comes back with a big boot and a clothesline for two. A side slam gets two for Kane and we head to the floor. Taker rams his brother into the barricade to slow him down but back in, Kane stomps away to gain control again. Actually scratch that as Taker hits a chokeslam but Edge and Christian run in for the lame DQ before Taker can load up the Last Ride.

Rating: D. What are you expecting from a Kane vs. Undertaker match in a four minute match with a run-in ending? These two didn’t really work that well when Taker was a biker, and when you consider how bad their matches got when he was the Dead Man, that should tell you a lot about how bad things got.

Angle runs in as well to make it a big four on one beatdown.

Post break Foley yells at Angle for being a coward, but Angle says he did what he has to do to keep the title. Foley says the title is on the line tonight and if Edge and Christian interfere, they’re gone for 90 days. Angle’s opponent: Steve Austin.

K-Kwik/Road Dogg vs. Steven Richards/Val Venis

Kwik is more famous as R-Truth, so I’ll be referring to him as Truth for the sake of my own simplicity. Richards says he and the RTC will keep doing things until people see things their way. Dogg and Truth take over in a hurry with the RTC being sent to the floor. Truth gets thrown on top of all of them with Lawler being glad that Ivory may have hurt her ankle. It’s Venis vs. Dogg to start with Roadie taking over. Back to Truth who shouts at the crowd and punches a lot.

Back to Road Dogg to face Richards with the guy in a tie hitting a suplex for two. Both Richards and Roadie try cross bodies and both guys go down in a heap. It’s a double tag and the advantage goes to Truth, meaning it’s time to dance. Everything breaks down and the RTC gets sent into each other. Truth’s piledriver is countered into a sitout Alabama Slam by Val which gets two, so Richards loads up Truth in a superplex. Since this is the WWF and not ECW, Richards gets countered into a sitout gordbuster for the pin for Truth.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Truth and Dogg never were anything special. The rapping thing was an attempt to get Road Dogg away from the Outlaws, which makes little sense when you remember how much rhyming he did in his Outlaws intros. The RTC was a solid midcard stable, especially considering they were a parody of the real life PTC.

Foley is outside getting a breath of air when Debra comes out to tell him it’s cold. Tiger Ali Singh, basically the original Jinder Mahal, comes up with Low Down and says they should be allowed inside. Tonight it’s Singh vs. Steve Blackman for the Hardcore Title, which makes scares Singh.

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Hardy Boys/Chris Jericho

Jericho is a mystery partner. It’s a big brawl to start with Benoit and Jericho fighting on the floor. We get the classic one heel falls onto the other heel’s balls with Dean falling on Saturn, followed by Poetry in Motion to Malenko. Things finally settle down and it’s Jeff vs. Dean to start things off. This is when Dean was a ladies’ man which never worked at all. Off to Benoit with the Radicalz in control.

Jeff grabs a sunset flip out of the corner on Benoit for two but it’s quickly back to Saturn for more of a beating. The Radicalz take turns on Jeff’s leg and make a lot of quick tags. Saturn cannonballs down on the leg but Jeff mule kicks Dean away. Hot tag brings in Jericho who cleans house. Everything breaks down and Jeff dives onto everything out Dean and Jericho on the floor. In the ring it’s the Liontamer on Malenko for the submission.

Rating: C. Just a six man here but it would put Jericho in the feud against the Radicalz which resulted in Jericho vs. Benoit at the Rumble in an awesome ladder match. The Hardys and the other two Radicalz didn’t mean much here but they filled in spots as well as anyone else would have.

Post match Eddie runs in and it’s a big Radicalz beatdown.

Edge and Christian give Angle a pep talk.

Hardcore Title: Tiger Ali Singh vs. Steve Blackman

Singh is in a suit here and is challenging. Tiger runs to the floor before the bell rings so Blackman beats him up out there. We head into the ring and Tiger gets beaten up even more. There’s a trashcan lid to Tiger’s head and a bulldog onto the same lid. Blackman gets his signature sticks but Tiger hides in the corner. The hiding only works for awhile and the beating continues. Blackman rips off the turban and a top rope kendo stick shot ends this massacre. Tiger literally had zero offense.

Rating: D. I don’t know what the point of this was but at least it wasn’t that long. Blackman finally found something he was good at in the Hardcore stuff, but other than that guy was nothing interesting at all. Singh was a guy that was always around but never did anything and I have no idea why he had a job for as long as he did.

Edge and Christian say they’ll be there for Kurt as soon as the match ends. Rock comes in and fights the Canadians until Foley breaks it up. Edge and Christian get ejected from the arena.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle is defending of course. Angle immediately takes it to the mat and Austin is frustrated. Kurt heads to the floor and shows off the medals a bit. I love goofy Kurt as only he would try to tick Austin off even more. Back in and Steve takes it to the mat with a headlock to slow things up. Angle fights up and tries a leapfrog but gets caught in the headlock one more time.

They run the ropes a bit and Kurt hooks a front facelock as the fans are chanting something pro-Austin. Austin busts out a freaking fireman’s carry and drops some knees to take over again. Angle takes it right back to the mat and hooks a backslide for two. Kurt’s belly to belly is broken up by right hands but Angle sends him to the floor. Austin rams him into the table and we head back inside. This is a very different kind of match but it’s working quite well.

Angle hooks a suplex for two and now he’s getting frustrated. Austin hooks a sleeper but Angle sends him to the floor to escape. Back in and it’s an abdominal stretch for the champion and he has the toe hooked. Gorilla Monsoon smiles on you Angle. After Kurt gets caught escaping the ropes, Austin rams Angle face first into the buckle a few times. Back to the floor they go and nothing of note happens there, so we head back in for the Thesz press. Here comes Stephanie trying to look intimidating but Austin flips her off instead. Kurt grabs a rollup for two but Austin hits the Stunner….and here’s HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B. This was a very old school style match but it worked really well. Austin’s technical abilities are often forgotten because he’s a legendary brawler, but he could certainly hold his own on a mat. Using a lot of holds here was a nice change of pace instead of these two punching each other for ten minutes. Having HHH show up after being dropped in a car off a forklift eight days ago was stupid back then and it’s stupid now too, but that’s the WWF for you.

HHH beats on Austin even more and stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show was pretty exhausting. All of these short matches didn’t do anything for me other than maybe the six man. Aside from that it was stuff setting up for later, which is ok but it gets annoying for two hours. The main event is good and I’m assuming that’s why this was requested, but other than that there’s nothing to see here at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

We’re in England for another taped show here which usually don’t come off all that well. Survivor Series is in less than two weeks and while we have a main event not, it doesn’t really mean anything overall. The main issue tonight is finding out why Brad Maddox screwed Ryback out of the title at HIAC which is apparently opening the show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with the announcement of the teams.

Earlier today (like the rest of the show), Miz asked Heyman what kind of a leader runs away from his team. Heyman says it’s the Art of War….and Miz QUITS the team!

Theme song.

We get a stupid narrator doing a voiceover about the stuff with Vickie and Cena last week. STOP DOING THIS ON WRESTLING SHOWS! IT SOUNDS FREAKING DUMB!

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players/Antonio Cesaro

So much for Maddox starting the show I guess. Cesaro and Truth Tout to each other that they don’t like each other. Seriously? We go from Gabriel and Kidd to R-Truth? That’s the best they’ve got? The masked dudes make fun of the Players’ dance which is always funny. Cesaro and Cara start things off here and Antonio takes it to the mat. Cara will have none of that and nips up before hitting a quick rana to take Cesaro down. Off to Young vs. Truth with Darren getting in trouble fast.

Titus and Rey come in and the masked guys hit stereo kicks to a seated Titus for two. Truth does the same with a low dropkick for two and all six guys stare at each other as we go to a break. Back with Cara jumping in to hit Young in the arm before firing off forearms. Cara slips going up the ropes for the armdrag but it didn’t look terrible. Rey loads up the 619 on Young but Cesaro makes a blind tag and picks off Rey into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

That gets two and here’s Titus for a series of backbreakers. Cesaro’s gutwrench sets up a front facelock on Rey but Mysterio sends him into the corner. Everything breaks down and Truth hits a suplex into a Stunner on Cesaro for two. Young’s gutbuster is escaped by Cara and it’s a 619 and Little Jimmy from Truth to pin Cesaro at 7:50 shown of 10:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this thing about Truth and Cesaro “developing a rivalry” that fast is a joke. No, Touting about each other and being in a six man doesn’t develop a rivalry. It means they’re setting up a match at Survivor Series and nothing else. Stop overhyping everything immediately as it makes things sound stupid. The match was fine.

Lawler is back next week.

We recap Vickie/Cena from last week again.

Here’s Vickie with some IRON CLAD video evidence of the affair between Cena and AJ. She shows us the SAME VIDEOS FROM LAST WEEK. GOOD FREAKING GRIEF WE AREN’T THIS FREAKING STUPID! Cena comes out before the new video is shown to interrupt Vickie and make fun of her a bit. “Vickie Guerrero running a clean show isn’t going to happen. It’s like me learning a new move. I’ve got five and that’s it.”

Cena brings up Vickie’s relationships with Edge and Ziggler but Vickie doesn’t seem to care. We get the video of AJ in a robe going into someone’s room but we can’t see who. Cena says that proves nothing but we get a clip of Cena in a towel coming out of the same room to get something. Cena says the footage is bogus and Vickie says the lies are exhausting. They’re not the only things kid.

Vickie wants AJ to come out here but she gets AJ on the screen instead. AJ says Vickie doesn’t want her out here because it’ll result in the beating of Vickie’s life and AJ will get fired. Ziggler pops up and puts his arm around AJ and implies she’s a w****. That’s it…again. As in YET AGAIN nothing happens in this story.

Heyman recruits Barrett (POP) to replace Miz. That would actually make sense so I doubt it’ll happen. Yep, Barrett turns him down because he doesn’t trust Heyman. Barrett steps off camera and immediately comes back on, saying he’ll join the team but Heyman owes him. Heyman says ok.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

HELL NO gets one of the biggest pops of the night. Feeling out process to start until Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and starts firing off the kicks. Cody gets backdropped to the floor where Sandow jumps Kane. Bryan actually stands up for his partner by hitting the suicide dive to take out Sandow. Cody hits the Disaster Kick off the apron….and slides Bryan in for the Cross Rhodes and pin at 1:55? Great way to kill your hot crowd WWE.

Cody brags about the win and says Sandow could do the same to Bryan just as easily. Kane pulls Damien in, and apparently we’re doing the EXACT SAME THING that the Players and Mysterio/Cara did last week. Are they THIS bankrupt for ideas?

Kane vs. Damien Sandow

This is joined in progress after a break with Kane in control. Sandow gets in some offense but Kane is like boy please and knocks him back down. Bryan and Cody get into a fight on the floor and get ejected. Back to the match with Kane still in control. A side slam puts Sandow down and the chokeslam gets the pin clean at 3:58.

Rating: D+. Yep, it’s exactly the same thing they did a week ago with those other two tag teams, even down to the traded finishes. I’m utterly amazed at how creatively bankrupt this company seems anymore as it’s like they’re not even trying to do something interesting anymore. Between doing the exact same thing in back to back weeks and the STUPID AJ/Vickie/Cena thing and TOUTING to each other being grounds for a title feud, this first hour has been rather stupid so far.

Here’s Cole to talk to referee Brad Maddox. Naturally we have to see a video of something before we can advance though. I need to time how long we spend on recaps one week. Cole asks if Maddox is working with Heyman and Punk, but Brad says it’s all him. All his life, all he’s wanted to do is be a WWE Superstar. The fans keep chanting Feed Me More so this is taking a good while to get through. Maddox says he’s tried to get his foot in the door but it’s been shut over and over. He’s sent tapes everywhere and even once paid two grand for a tryout.

After all that, he was given a chance with a developmental contract. Even in developmental he wasn’t good enough because he doesn’t look right or wasn’t big enough or because he can’t flip enough. WWE told him he’d never get to the main roster but he wouldn’t let his dream die. He said he’d do whatever it took to get to the WWE, so he became a referee. When Raw got expanded to 3 hours, he only needed one chance to make an impact.

Maddox reiterates that Punk had nothing to do with it but Punk was shocked. Ryback and Punk and everyone else noticed him though and he’s famous. Maddox wants to face Ryback. Oh dear I hope that doesn’t actually happen. Here’s Vince to say that he doesn’t believe what Maddox is saying, but he offers Maddox a million dollar contract if he can beat Ryback next week.

Maddox gets out of the ring and Vince says hang on a second and goes to the back. He comes back with Vickie and asks her if she believes Punk was involved somehow. Vince leans on her a bit and she says she agrees, so Vince asks why Punk is getting to hide behind all these people in a Survivor Series match. Instead it should be a title defense against…..Dolph Ziggler? Vince says that’s the wrong answer so it’s now Punk defending against Ryback…and Cena. So to be clear, Vince can override Vickie (he threatened to fire her) but he just doesn’t for some reason most of the time. Good to know.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Show comes out just behind Miz to watch the match. Sheamus runs Miz over to start but Miz slips down to the floor to avoid the forearms on the apron. Cole brings up the White Noise from last week and Show yells a lot. Miz pounds away in the corner but Sheamus comes back with the Regal Roll. The pale one drapes Miz over the top rope and pounds on him with the forearms to knock Miz to the floor. Sheamus gets sent into the announce table and Miz takes over.

Back in and Miz hits a kick to the chest and puts on a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting a top rope ax handle for two. Off to a chinlock as Show torments Cole some more. Sheamus suplexes out of the hold but walks into the Reality Check. Miz’s corner clothesline is countered by the ax handle to the face. A knee lift looks to set up White Noise but Sheamus has to settle for a powerslam instead.

The top rope shoulder gets two for Sheamus but White Noise is countered again. The short DDT gets two and Show double dog dares Cole to bring up the 45 seconds reign. Miz avoids the Cloverleaf and the Brogue Kick, but Sheamus escapes the Finale and hits White Noise. Brogue Kick gets the pin at 14:40.

Rating: C. So. Freaking. What. That can sum up this entire show. Sheamus beats up Miz which is the only logical solution as Miz has nothing going on right now and we’re supposed to believe that a win over Miz means ANYTHING anymore. Sheamus vs. Show is probably the best story going on right now and even that is nothing special whatsoever. As I said, this whole show seems like it doesn’t matter at all.

Vickie comes out of Vince’s office to talk to Dolph It’s officially Team Ziggler at Survivor Series. Punk comes up to claim a conspiracy and goes on a rant about Vince. Tonight it’s Ziggler/Punk vs. Ryback/Cena. Great. ANOTHER worthless tag match.

Regal and Sheamus talk in the back and nothing is said.

We get almost the entire AJ/Vickie/Cena segment from earlier.

Eve Torres/Aksana vs. Layla/Kaitlyn

Aksana makes me feel better if nothing else. Aksana and Layla start things off with Layla grabbing a quick rollup for two. Layla tries her bouncing cross body out of the corner and thankfully Aksana decks her while she’s bouncing to take over. A kick to the face gets two for Aksana and it turns into kind of a fist fight which goes nowhere for the British chick.

Off to Eve for a front facelock to keep things slow. Eve kicks away Kaitlyn’s hand to stop the tag in a nice touch. The bouncing moonsault from Eve is blocked by Layla and there’s the hot tag to Kaitlyn. Everything breaks down and Eve hits that neckbreaker on Layla but Kaitlyn hits a bad reverse DDT for the pin on Eve at 4:58.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as bad as most of their matches have been lately. Again it helps that they’re giving them some extra time, which sounds simple but it gives them more practice. When you literally triple the amount of time they’re getting on TV a week, the amount of practice also triples. It’s still nothing to get excited about, but it’s notably better than it was.

Alberto yells at Ricardo in the back when Rosa literally bumps into him. They both seem interested by the other.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

During the entrance, we get clips of Orton and Del Rio fighting in the catering area on Smackdown. Has there been a match without a recap during the entrance so far tonight? Del Rio knocks Kofi down but Kingston comes back with a jumping back elbow. The announcers talk about who is going to be the new fifth member of Foley’s team. Is there a reason why Foley is involved at this point? Alberto pounds away in the corner and knocks Kofi to the floor.

Back in and Del Rio hits a double stomp and a suplex for two followed by a body scissors. Alberto works on the arm as this is dragging along. Kofi avoids a charge and Del Rio’s shoulder hits the post now. The fans are pretty dead for this. Some dropkicks put Alberto down and there’s the Boom Drop. The armbreaker is countered and the SOS gets two for Kofi. Kofi misses a springboard cross body….and here’s Orton. Well his music at least, allowing Kofi to roll up Del Rio for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C-. This match felt like it went on for about twenty minutes instead of just under eight. Ignoring the idea of Kofi, the IC Champion, needing help from Orton to get a rollup win, the match was really dull with Del Rio continuing to be boring in the ring with his really basic arm work. Nothing to see here.

Orton comes in and hits the RKO on Del Rio post match.

We recap the Brad Maddox and Vince thing from earlier.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. Epico/Primo

Primo vs. Santino to start things off with marella taking him to the mat. Santino asks for a break and Santino starts marching around the ring. Off to an armbar by Marella and there’s the tag to Ryder. Zack misses a cross body and the cousins take over with stomping in the corner. Ryder grabs a rollup but Santino is arguing with the referee for some reason. Epico comes in and hits a dropkick for two. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before Ryder escapes a suplex and hits a neckbreaker. There’s the tag to Santino and everything breaks down. Santino busts out the Cobra and lays out Epico for the pin 5:05.

Rating: D. Another boring match here which went on too long. I’ll give them this: they’ve developed a lower card for the tag teams now. This one was for the crowd though as the fans love Ryder and Santino. The match was fine enough I guess, but this show has been so draining already that it’s hard to care.

Brodus Clay vs. Wade Barrett

Brodus’ face looks different. Did he have facial hair and I never noticed it? Brodus hits his suplex and a legdrop for two. Barrett comes back with the Boss Man Slam and it’s off to a chinlock. Brodus hits a splash in the corner but a second one misses and it’s the Souvenir for the pin at 2:58. Just an extended squash.

Heath Slater vs. Jey Uso

THE USOS ARE STILL ALIVE! Slater plays the guitar to start but Jey charges into a boot in the corner. Slater plays more guitar and it’s off to a chinlock. Jey fights back but it’s time to hit that chinlock again. Back up and a side kick to the face gets two for Heath. There’s the third incarnation of the chinlock but Jey fights up and hits a superkick. Then he stands around before doing anything. A top rope splash hits knees and Slater hits an inverted DDT for the pin at 3:58. The DDT is called the Smash Hit apparently.

Rating: D. I love the 3MB. They’re so stupid and goofy and they’re exactly what these horribly boring Raw’s need. They’re the kind of act where you can totally turn your brain off and just have fun for about five minutes. Their promos are hilarious and they make the show fun for just a few moments. I mean, we can do that on anything else on the show, so take it where you can get it. Also the DDT is a way better move than that sleeper drop Slater used forever.

Here’s Punk before the main event with something to say. He talks about how he beat Ryback but people are trying to taint his victory because of Maddox. Punk says he’s going to get screwed by Vince at Survivor Series but he’ll win anyway because he’s the best in the world. We’re at 351 days, so Survivor Series is a big moment for him.

CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback/John Cena

Cena vs. Punk starts things off and they fight over a top wristlock. It’s quickly off to Ziggler who gets caught in a surfboard submission. A bulldog puts Ziggler down and it’s off to Punk who is hiptossed for two. Double teaming puts Cena down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows for a two count. Back to Punk for a kick to the back of Cena’s head for two. Punk works on the arm but Cena hits an AA out of nowhere to put Punk down.

Back to Dolph who gets two off a Fameasser as does Punk off a neckbreaker. An electric chair puts Punk down again and it’s back to Ziggler. Dolph goes up but misses a missile dropkick and there’s the hot tag to Ryback to face Punk. Ryback destroys both guys and Meathooks Ziggler to the floor. Another Meathook puts Punk down and the Shell Shock gets the pin at 10:12.

Rating: C. This was your normal main event tag and it’s so cute that they want us to believe that Ryback has a chance in the main event of the PPV. Cena is there so they can keep the title on Punk without having Ryback get pinned again, because the stupid Rock vs. Punk match needs to happen, because….screw it. This is freaking dumb and having the match set seven months in advance was STUPID because no matter what Punk does, he’s never near Rock or Cena’s level and no one is going to believe Punk has a chance against Rock, but in modern WWE, who freaking cares because that’s what they want to do.

Ryback and Cena stare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling on this show, while long and drawn out at times, was mostly fine with some decent matches, but at the end of the day the show falls apart in the third hour when it’s clear that they’re filling in time however they can. The fact that they’ve changed the entire top of the card of the PPV a week later tells me they have no idea what they’re doing and no plan at all. Tonight’s show felt like it should have ended at about 10pm and the last few matches just dragged and dragged, which isn’t something you want to see.

I have no idea what they think they’re going to do to fix things, but if they think Rock is the solution to all of their problems, they’re in trouble. WWE has been able to turn it on in a single night before, but this is as bad as I can remember it being. It’s like they have no clue what they want to do or where any of this is going. Cena and Vickie’s feud is now thrown into a world title match which has nothing to do with Vickie and Ziggler is in the Survivor Series match to somehow feud with Foley who wasn’t even here tonight. This show is a huge mess anymore and a lot needs to change, starting with losing an hour.

Results

R-Truth/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Antonio Cesaro/Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Cesaro

Cody Rhodes b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Rhodes

Kane b. Damien Sandow – Chokeslam

Sheamus b. The Miz – Brogue Kick

Kaitlyn/Layla b. Aksana/Eve Torres – Reverse DDT to Eve

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder b. Primo/Epico – Cobra to Epico

Wade Barrett b. Brodus Clay – Souvenir

Heath Slater b. Jey Uso – Smash Hit

Ryback/John Cena b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock to Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 1997
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 14,615
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is yet another request but in this case there’s at least a great match on here. We’ve got HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight which is considered one of the better hardcore matches of all time. They would go on to have one of the best matches of all time period in the same arena in about two years and three months, so this is pretty much an appetizer for that. Also there’s something happening for the first time ever here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the history of the WWF in Madison Square Garden. According to this, Gorilla vs. Sammartino sold the place out SEVENTEEN STRAIGHT TIMES. That’s NUTS. Really cool video here.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Rocky Maivia vs. Ahmed Johnson

He isn’t quite the Rock yet. Commissioner Slaughter comes out behind the Nation to make sure there are no shenanigans. The winner of this gets Farrooq next week in the semi-finals. Johnson knocks Rock to the floor and launches him to the corner via a choke. Maivia finally gets a breather and hits that spinning DDT of his for two. Captain Lou Albano wanders out and takes some notes. Ahmed runs over Rocky again but gets thrown to the floor by Rocky.

Rock, being the ham that he is, does Ahmed’s pose which would be a bit more intimidating if Rocky’s trunks weren’t a bit bejeweled. Ahmed gets whipped into the steps and his hand is sliced open. That may have been an old wound that just got exacerbated here. Rocky keeps pounding away but gets caught in a spinebuster by the original Ezekiel Jackson. They both hit shoulder blocks at the same time and go down as the fans boo. Back up and Ahmed easily hits the Pearl River Plunge (tiger driver) for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but I was always a fan of Johnson’s. The guy was a monster who was allegedly going to win the WWF Title but he couldn’t stay healthy. Granted with him not around things wound up going pretty well with the whole Border War thing so it’s hard to complain much. Rocky would get a lot better as I’m sure you guessed.

Here’s Austin and the place ERUPTS. He’s up in the crowd and promises to beat someone up tonight. That’s it. It didn’t take twenty minutes. He didn’t have to cut some big promo. It took a minute and we know that he’s going to go after someone. LEARN THIS WWE!

We get a stupid commercial for a lazer tag thing with Sable on a secret mission or something.

Floyd Patterson is here. Look him up rookies.

We recap Shawn winning the European Title from Bulldog at One Night Only in England, which was pretty much Shawn pulling a political move and taking the title which he didn’t need from Bulldog because he could and wanted to stick it to the Hart Family.

Speaking of Shawn, his next major match is inside something called Hell In A Cell. Here’s his opponent for that: the Undertaker. This was an awesome and perfectly done feud as Shawn was guest referee back at Summerslam and accidentally hit Taker in the head with a chair, costing him the world title to Bret. Taker wanted revenge but Shawn kept running. The solution? Lock them inside Hell. Vince conducts the interview and says the winner of the match gets Bret at Survivor Series.

Taker says that he can never rest in peace, which is bad for Shawn. He’ll enjoy watching Shawn burn though. Cue Shawn who says that he thinks the WWF is trying to give Shawn the shaft. He talks about being put in a no win situation again and that’s not cool with Shawn. He’s won every title there is in the company, and therefore he doesn’t lay down for anyone. Michaels is going to be ready and all Taker has to do is show up.

Sunny comes out to be ring announcer.

Legion of Doom vs. Farrooq/Kama Mustafa

During the LOD’s entrance, we get what can only be described as a bizarre scene from FOX News Now with the LOD in full gear doing a weather forecast. Animal and Kama start things off and trade power moves until Animal hits a powerslam to take over. Off to Hawk vs. Farrooq and it’s more trading of the power moves. Back to Kama so Hawk can hit his jumping fist drop. Everything breaks down and the LOD both hit clotheslines on Farrooq in the corner. They load up the Doomsday Device but the rest of the Nation runs in for the DQ.

Johnson tries to make the save but the Nation is too big so the referees have to break it up.

We get a classic moment of Snuka’s cage dive.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Owen Hart vs. Brian Pillman

Owen has a restraining order against Austin so he comes out with a big group of security guards. Pillman has possession of Terri here and has her all sexed up. In this case, that’s a GOOD thing. Her as a reluctant woman here is a good look for her and the story was supposed to be that Terri was going to leave Dustin for Pillman, but Pillman would be dead in 13 days. Pillman claims to have broken his arm while changing positions with Marlena (Terri) last night so he has to forfeit.

Slaughter comes out and says he knows nothing about a broken arm and hasn’t seen an x-ray or heard anything from a doctor. He throws the mic to Pillman and Brian catches it with the arm in a sling, so the match is on. Both guys keep over dramatically breaking in the corner and going at about 1/3 of their usual speed as we take a break. During the break, Marlena apparently hit Owen with her purse and things got a bit more intense. Pillman gets two off a clothesline and they collide when both try cross bodies….and here’s Goldust for the DQ. Too short to rate but Goldust hit Owen so he’s in the finals.

Post match Austin charges in and attacks Owen. Vince says don’t arrest Austin and gets in the ring to yell. Vince tells Austin that people care about him and that he needs to go with it. Austin gets the mic and cuts a pretty famous promo, saying that he’s the best in the world and there’s nothing Vince can do about it. Vince has told Austin to work within the system, but Austin wants nothing to do with the system and for the first time ever, Austin hits the Stunner on Vince, launching perhaps the greatest feud in company history.

Bulldog Bob Brower, a legendary wrestler in Kansas City, died over the weekend.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Dude Love

This is falls count anywhere, which means hardcore for all intents and purposes. HHH wraps a chain around his hand but Dude pops up on the monitor. Love says that the pinfalls in the hot dog stands aren’t his thing, but he knows someone that does dig them, and he brings in Mankind to talk to him. Mankind says he isn’t up for this, so here’s Cactus Jack. They’re all on the same screen at the same time talking to each other, which is some awesome trick photography. The end result is this.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Cactus Jack

MSG, in a word, explodes as this is the first time ever that Cactus has been in the WWF. The ECW chant starts and Cactus hits HHH with a trashcan and a swinging neckbreaker on the concrete for two. Cactus pounds away some more but Chyna hits him in the back and clotheslines him into the crowd. HHH and Cactus brawl into the back and the camera follows them through the curtain. Notice how much more realistic this makes things, as there’s no camera waiting there for them.

HHH rams Cactus into a wall for two and heads back into the arena, but Cactus pulls out a fire extinguisher and blasts HHH into the barricade. The railing is broken down and they head into the ring only to send HHH over the corner and back out to the floor. Cactus tries the elbow off the apron but hits the trashcan from the beginning. Chyna sends him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with HHH beating Jack with a mop and snapping his neck over the ropes to send Jack to the floor. They both head to the apron and Cactus kicks HHH low to send him to the floor. There’s Cactus’ old running sunset flip off the apron for two. Chyna hits Cactus with a chair and gets glared at, but HHH shoves Cactus into Chyna (not knowing she’s there), crushing Chyna against the steps.

The guys fight up the ramp and HHH hits a suplex on the steel for two. HHH finds another trashcan to blast Jack in the head with and there’s a snow shovel for more shots to Jack’s back. The fans want a table but they get HHH slamming Cactus’ head off the steel instead. NOW we get a table, but it’s more like a slab of wood on legs. It’s bending as they get on it and a low blow breaks up the Pedigree. Cactus hits the pulling piledriver through the table and pins HHH to a BIG pop.

Rating: A. This is the match that basically introduced the WWF to hardcore wrestling and the relationship worked well for the next….oh five years or so, with these kind of matches almost always being around in one form or another. On top of that, it was AWESOME with Cactus going insane and HHH channeling the inner evil that would define his character for years to come. This would also be blown away by the same match in the same building in January of 2000. Also note that JR sold this like a war was going on, which you never get anymore.

Video on some sweepstakes.

Andre the Giant slammed Big John Studd at the first Wrestlemania.

We look at the Stunner again. I know it looks bad, but that makes it better as Vince shouldn’t know how to take a move because he’s an announcer/owner.

More stills from One Night Only with Shawn beating Bulldog.

Here’s Shawn with the chair that started everything with Undertaker. Shawn says he’s going to tell us a story about how he became the first and only Grand Slam Champion. Oh cool I love stories about backstage politics. That has to wait though because Shawn wants Undertaker out here right now first. We take a break and come back with no Taker. Taker finally comes out and is immediately blasted from behind by HHH, allowing Shawn to hit Taker with the chair again. Rude joins in and it’s a big beatdown along with Chyna. Taker shrugs it off and chases them off with the chair. The Cell sounds good right about now.

Bret Hart vs. Goldust

Non-title even though Bret is WWF Champion. Before the match, Bret says he doesn’t care who wins in the Cell because he’s not afraid of Taker and he wants to get his hands on Shawn. Goldust is all ticked off because of Pillman and pounds Bret into the corner to start. A clothesline gets two for Goldie but Bret grabs the arm and kicks at Goldust’s leg. Goldust comes back with a rake to the eyes and a slap to the face, but Bret takes the leg out again and goes to work on it as only he can. Or Ric Flair too but this is New York so most people don’t care.

Bret flips off a fan and bends Goldust’s leg around the rope. He snaps the leg over and puts the Figure Four on around the post. Referee: “LET HIM GO!” Bret: “WHY?” Shawn pops up on the ramp and we take a break. Back with Bret working over the leg even more with some punches to the knee. Goldust comes back with a suplex as Shawn is conducting the crowds’ chants about Bret.

They slug it out (Bret and Goldust, not Shawn and the fans) but Bret goes right back to the leg and cannonballs down onto it. Goldie kicks Bret over the top and we head to the floor for more brawling. Bret gets sent into the steps and back inside the bulldog gets two, but Goldust charges into a knee in the corner. The Sharpshooter ends this quick.

Rating: C+. This was one of those matches where you knew who was going to win all along, but they at least had some energy out there. This was around the last time that Bret would ever be motivated in his career, as once he hit WCW it was clear that he didn’t care anymore at all. Goldust was in over his head here but didn’t do badly at all.

Shawn immediately charges the ring and the brawl is on. HHH and Chyna come in for the beatdown but Owen and a limping bulldog come out as well. Rude and Neidhart come out and cancel each other out, but heeeeeeeere’s Taker. House is cleaned and Taker chokeslams Shawn and Bret at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Not only did we get a great and famous match, not only did we get a famous moment, but I want to go watch Bad Blood now. AWESOME show as the WWF is starting to click again after coming off the awesome Border War (seriously, check that thing out. It’s AMAZING) and WCW is starting to slip a bit as everything is building to Starrcade, but they’re sputtering along the way. Great show here and one of the best episodes of Raw ever.

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I’ve noticed this a lot watching Raw’s from the Attitude Era.Back in the day, Raw looked a bit more gritty and toned down.  It wasn’t the same set but with different colors on the tron.  Things looked more bare and in a way, that’s a nice change.  Instead of having everything flashy and a big presentation, it was more about what you got in the ring and in the back.  I’m not saying strip everything down, but stop making things look so big and polished.  It might help a bit.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two half clothed women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80^th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: November 2, 2012
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re in the Big Show Era here and for the life of me I’m not entirely sure why. Sheamus was doing ok as champion (other than the three months that Del Rio sucked the life out of him) so they put the title on Big Show of all people? At least the match was good though so that helps a bit. Other than that we’re going to have to speed through the build to Survivor Series in three weeks. Let’s get to it.

We start with a kind of commercial for the show, talking about what we’re going to see. Most of it is related to Raw of course, because being bored by that stuff on Monday isn’t enough anymore.

We open with MizTV and Miz talks about Ryback a bit before moving on to Sheamus getting knocked out. Sheamus is the guest tonight and as he comes to the ring, we see another clip from Raw of Sheamus hitting White Noise on Big Show. Miz asks Sheamus about being a loser, but Sheamus asks him about losing to Kofi on Sunday. Miz says the difference between the two of them is that he can beat Kofi and will do it again to get back the IC Title. Sheamus agrees that he’s never beaten Big Show but he’s not going to hide.

Miz cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to hear cliched stock answers. See, it’s Miz that can be blamed for Sheamus losing the title. He won the match at Wrestlemania that got Johnny Ace power, which led to Show getting his job back, which led to Show’s change in attitude, which led to Show winning the title. Sheamus: “So it’s you whose head I should be kicking off?” Miz backs off and says he’ll win his title back from Kofi.

Before Miz can say his catchphrase, here’s Kofi. Kofi says Miz hasn’t been on the Real World in awhile, but apparently Kofi has kicked the sense out of Miz, because Miz can’t beat him. Miz says he’ll beat Kofi at Survivor Series, but here’s Big Show for another interruption. He isn’t happy with Miz taking credit for Show’s victory, so he’s siding with Kofi in saying there’s something wrong with Miz. Why is Sheamus getting interviewed instead of the new champion? Why ask Sheamus what it’s like to get knocked out when you can ask Show what it’s like to knock him out.

Miz asks him just that but as Show starts talking about euphoria, Sheamus cuts him off and asks what it felt like to take White Noise on Monday. Show laughs it off and says no rematch at Survivor Series. Miz tries to jump Kofi and is immediately knocked to the floor. I’m pretty sure you can figure out the main event already.

After a break, Big Show is in the back and runs into Booker who makes the tag match with the four guys in the opening segment.

Sin Cara vs. Darren Young

Things start fast and Cara spins Young around with a rana and armdrag off the middle rope. Darren wisely slows things down and hits a neckbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock but Cara fights up and grabs a small package for two. Back to the chinlock by Darren which doesn’t work again as Sin fights up and hits a middle rope dropkick to take over. A jumping back elbow gets two for the dude in the mask but Young knees him in the ribs to put Cara right back down. The gutbuster gets the pin for Young at 3:37.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the time hurts it. It’s nice to see these guys doing something other than having the same tag match over and over again as it’ll keep the feud somewhat fresher. I’m still amazed by how much better Young and O’Neil are than when they were on NXT, just by doing some stupid dance.

Post match Titus starts blowing on a whistle and talks about beating on a pinata in the ring. Those little dogs tried to get in the ring with some big dogs and Titus is going to give another little dog that chance. He calls out Mysterio and we’re getting another match. Before we get to that, quick sidebar about something Titus said: regarding pinatas, is there a more bizarre tradition ever for children? “Here son, here’s your favorite cartoon. NOW BEAT HIM WITH A STICK UNTIL HE BREAKS IN HALF AND EAT WHAT FALLS OUT OF HIM!”

Rey Mysterio vs. Titus O’Neil

We get the bell after a break and Rey fires off kicks to the leg. Titus gets in a single shot to knock Rey down and the beating begins. A slam gets two for Titus and it’s time to stand around. O’Neil misses a running boot to Rey who was against the ropes. The partners fight on the floor as Titus catches the 619. He takes Rey to the corner and gets down in a three point stance, only to hit the middle buckle, allowing Rey to roll him up for the pin at 2:55.

Cara and Rey do the Players’ dance on the stage.

We get a recap video from the end of the PPV with Maddox hitting Ryback low to give Punk the pin, followed by the Shell Shock on top of the Cell.

Maddox will be on Raw on Monday.

We get the full ending segment from Raw, starting with Heyman introducing Miz as Punk’s first team member.

Teddy and Booker are in the back and Teddy thinks there’s going to be mutiny in the Raw locker room. Natalya comes in and wants to be the assistant since Eve is on the European tour. Otunga comes in and says he’ll do anything Booker needs. Booker says he needs Otunga to compete against a returning superstar. Otunga says ok but Booker says it’s Great Khali. Otunga spits his coffee on Nattie. After an insult from Otunga, more coffee goes flying at Teddy. This was supposed to be comedy I believe.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Del Rio is on commentary. While Orton is doing his pose on the ropes, Del Rio tries to run in and jump him, only to get knocked right to the floor. Ricardo rams Orton into the post and a double beatdown ensues as we take a break. Back and the scheduled match is in progress with Orton clotheslining Barrett to the floor. They head back in with Barrett taking Orton down upon reentry.

Wade chokes away on the middle rope and does the same on the top rope so it doesn’t feel left out. There’s the running big boot while Orton is sitting on the middle rope, knocking him back to the floor. After ramming Randy into the steps a few times, it’s back inside for ye olde chinlock. Orton tries a comeback with a belly to back suplex but immediately after taking Barrett down with it, Wade kicks him in the ribs to slow Randy back down.

They slug it out and Orton takes over, which even Josh thinks is very surprising given that Barrett is a bareknuckle fighter. Barrett comes back with a kick to the face and a middle rope elbow for two. Back to the reverse chinlock followed by Barrett slamming him down. Wade goes up for another elbow but Orton crotches him and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orton busts out some clotheslines and the powerslam followed by the Elevated DDT. Before the RKO can be loaded up, Del Rio shows up on the stage. Orton has to knock Ricardo to the floor and Wade gets a rollup win at 8:43 shown.

Rating: C+. The match was pretty good here but I’d like for Barrett to be more than a prop in someone else’s feud, which is all he is anymore. These two have fought three times now and have alternated wins every time. It’s hard to get behind either guy, especially when Barrett isn’t even getting any of the focus. Has he even gotten an entrance in any of the matches?

We get the segment from Raw of everyone talking about breast cancer and a clipped down version of Cena presenting the million dollar check to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

Striker asks Alberto why he keeps tormenting Orton. Orton comes up from behind and they brawl. They head to the catering table and Orton throws hot coffee on Ricardo. Once Alberto is down, Randy pours what looks like barbecue sauce on Rodriguez as well. Alberto gets thrown over a table. The desserts are spared and when Del Rio runs away, Striker tries to talk to Randy, earning him a trip into a cake. When did Striker become the whipping boy of Smackdown?

Great Khali vs. David Otunga

Khali recently had to have some kind of surgery on his brain so it’s a good thing to see him back. During Otunga’s entrance, we actually recap the scene that set this match up. Teddy and Nattie having coffee spat on them deserved a recap? Seriously? Otunga takes him down but Khali chops him from his knees. More chopping in the corner follows and Natalya is watching in the back. Khali misses a boot but comes back with the big chop for the pin at 1:35.

Post break Natalya thanks Khali for beating up Otunga. They shake hands and Nattie thinks his hands are big. Ok then.

R-Truth vs. Justin Gabriel

Feeling out process to start and Truth starts gyrating. Gabriel avoids a shot of his own and gyrates a bit as well. Truth hits the spinning forearm for two but Gabriel dropkicks him down and kicks away a bit. Off to a chinlock by Justin as JBL is talking about Shawn Michaels. A spin kick puts Truth down and since it worked so well the first time, Justin does it again. Gabriel tries a springboard I’m assuming clothesline but Truth ducks out of the way and hits Little Jimmy for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Wasn’t Gabriel supposed to get a push? Now he’s losing to R-Truth clean of all people? This was a rather random match between two faces with no tease of either guy turning or anything. This whole show has felt like it doesn’t need to exist and this is another match that would fit on the same list. It wasn’t bad or anything though.

ANOTHER recap from Raw, this time about the AJ/Vickie/Cena/Ziggler segment. You know, WWE’s PG version of TNA’s horrible Clair Lynch story.

Show tells Miz to follow his lead tonight because Show is in charge out there.

We recap Alberto and Ricardo costing Orton the match earlier as well as the brawl. Next week on the live Smackdown (as in taped earlier in the day) it’s Del Rio vs. Orton in a falls count anywhere match. In other words, the Barret matches meant nothing at all.

Sheamus/Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show/The Miz

During Sheamus’ entrance, we get I believe the sixth video from Raw of the night, this one being Sheamus hitting White Noise on Show. Didn’t we see that already? Miz and Show keep changing places to decide who faces Sheamus. It’s eventually Miz with Sheamus hammering away to start in the corner. I’m so used to calling Sheamus the champ but I can’t do that anymore, so it’s just Sheamus working on the arm.

Off to Kofi who comes in off the top with a shot to the arm, only to be clotheslined down by Miz. Kofi hits the same move to knock Miz to the floor, followed by a suicide dive to take over. Show and Sheamus stare at each other on the floor as well and we take a break. Back with Show slamming Kofi down before doing some amateur stuff (yes you read that right) to take Kofi to the mat.

A side slam puts Kofi down for the third time and Show keeps looking over at Sheamus. Off to Miz to work on the downed Kofi. A knee drop gets two and Miz puts on a reverse chinlock which doesn’t last long. Kofi tries to dive over Miz to get to Sheamus but the right route is apparently going through the legs instead. Sheamus gets the hot tag and destroys Miz, hitting a powerslam and the ten forearms in the ropes. The Regal Roll takes Miz down and it’s off to Kofi for his top rope cross body. Show gets knocked off the apron but as Kofi pounds on Miz in the corner, Show knocks him cold, giving Miz the pin at 6:42 shown of 10:12.

Rating: C-. Standard main event tag match here that wasn’t anything great. Thankfully Show didn’t lose in his first match as champion and Miz FINALLY pins Kofi to give us a reason to care about a fourth match between them. Other than that though, this was a pretty dull match with nothing significant happening at all.

Miz poses over Kofi post match and Sheamus kicks his head off. Well he was too busy yelling at the referee while Show punched Kofi so he had to do something good here.

Overall Rating: D-. This is officially a Raw supplemental show. They recapped EVERYTHING that happened on Raw and nothing here was anything new. Between meaningless matches (Gabriel vs. Truth and Khali vs. Otunga) and the same match we’ve seen on the last two TV shows which apparently is just to set up Del Rio vs. Orton again, what’s the point in watching Smackdown anymore? I certainly can’t think of why anybody would sit through this.

Results

Darren Young b. Sin Cara – Double Knee Gutbuster

Rey Mysterio b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Rollup

Great Khali b. David Otunga – Chop

R-Truth b. Justin Gabriel – Little Jimmy

Big Show/The Miz b. Kofi Kingston/Sheamus – Miz pinned Kingston after a WMD from Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I mentioned this in the review last night but it deserves its own mention here.Last night on Raw, we saw WWE rip off the Clair Lynch storyline that TNA ran a few months back.  We have Cena in the role of AJ Styles, being accused of an affair and having a plausible excuse for every piece of evidence presented to him.  Vickie is now playing the role of Kaz and Daniels as the accuser and AJ is playing a not-angry Clair Lynch.  This is the consensual PG version, but it’s the same story.

If this is the best they can come up with, they’re in trouble.

If you haven’t seen/read about Raw from last night and don’t want to be surprised, go check it out before you read this because there are heavy spoilers inside this.

This is one of those posts that isn’t going to make a ton of sense in a few months (hopefully), but for now it’s what’s on my mind. In short, Raw has been especially bad for weeks now and last night’s (this is October 30, 2012) was one of the worst episodes I can remember in years. Not that it was actively bad, but that it was so dull and counterproductive that it might as well not have existed. There were two major areas that are causing all these problems though, and today I’m going to use last night’s Raw as to illustrate this. Let’s get to it.

We’re going to go step by step through Raw (it won’t take long) and then I’ll get to my conclusion. My first major problem with Raw though is that NO FUN IS ALLOWED. The opening segment is about Ryback, a guy who at least got the crowd excited, getting the rug cut out from under him at the PPV. Want to cheer this guy who is unstoppable? WELL SCREW YOU! HE LOSES! Ryback gets to squash a jobber and the fans get to do his cheer.

Then we have Wade Barrett vs. Orton. This is going to be covered in the second major issue.

We go to Vickie and AJ in the back. Here we have Vickie laughing at AJ and making her beg for her job because of some affair and a romantic dinner. In other words, we have a person losing her job doing the thing she loves. This is a stretch, but in an economy like the United States is in today, talking about losing your job isn’t exactly going to thrill fans. Ignoring that though, this is another segment about stuff that isn’t fun (or interesting but that’s another discussion) and looks grim.

Next up is HELL NO vs. the Prime Time Players. This can be classified as laid back, but the most popular part of the champions, as in the comedy sketches they did, are long gone and they’re just arguing. This segment is a lot better than most of the stuff on the show but it’s not great.

Now we get a recap of the Punk/Ryback/referee stuff to further hammer it in.

Vickie calls Cena to the ring and we get the WWE version of the AJ/Claire Lynch story from TNA a few months back. This involves Cena being accused of having an affair with AJ (are either of them even married right now? Does it even qualify as an affair?) and having to explain away photos, videos, and jokes he makes. Ziggler comes out and gets shoved down as well. How is this supposed to be entertaining or something I want to see?

The next match is champion vs. champion with Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston. This will also be covered in the second point.

And now we get to the exception that proves the rule: the 3MB, a goofy, WAY over the top band gimmick played by Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre. This is presented in a Behind The Music segment where they refuse to play any music and act as stupid as possible. Remember this segment because it’s going to be referenced later. 3MB also wins a match over Ryder/Santino.

AJ beats Beth on a fluke after the cute and tiny AJ gets crushed by Beth for about two minutes. This is IMMEDIATELY changed because Vickie wants to torture AJ some more and Beth beats her in ten seconds.

Now we have Sheamus and Big Show talking about going to WAR with each other. Not a fight, not a battle, but war. SERIOUS don’t you know.

Then Cena tells AJ it’s ok. Vickie comes up and fires Beth for winning a match. Not only is it more serious and mean stuff, but it doesn’t make sense.

A long tag match follows with the fan favorites Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio losing to Rhodes and Sandow. Quick sidebar: the Rhodes Scholars is a cool name for a team. Team Rhodes Scholars sounds ridiculous.

After all that other stuff, let’s talk about CANCER! This goes on for about eight minutes with Cena presenting a check to a cancer charity. That’s a cool thing to do, but again it’s depressing, especially with the video reminding us that most people know someone who has suffered from breast cancer.

Then Justin Gabriel gets squashed by Alberto Del Rio. Remember last week when Gabriel had a good match and looked like he was being moved up the card? WELL SCREW YOU FOR GETTING EXCITED! HE HAS TO LOSE TO DEL RIO BECAUSE……WELL SOMEONE HAS TO! More on this later.

We close out the show with the announcements of the teams for the Survivor Series matches. Again, a serious subject for a main event which has nothing on the line but pride. Also, Punk gets to look like an idiot because he thinks Ryback isn’t in the match. Nice touch there guys.

This ends point one, so let’s look at the second point that is holding WWE back: nothing goes anywhere. Let’s again look through Raw for examples.

We’ll begin with Ryback. Ryback dominates for six months and then loses in his first major match because of a crooked referee. Why is he crooked? Why did he do it? That’s not important enough to address in the first show after it happened. Ryback appears to still be a factor in the main event, but the initial spark is gone and they can never get it back.

Now here we get to the main extreme of this issue: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton. Orton lost to Barrett on Smackdown, then tonight Orton beat Barrett. What does this accomplish? That’s not a rhetorical question. I honestly don’t know what the point of it is. Orton doesn’t look better than Barrett and Barrett doesn’t look better than Orton as they both come out 1-1. They’re both at the same place they were before this exchange of wins started and now Orton is back to facing Del Rio this Wednesday on Main Event. We’ve wasted a match that might make people want to pay money to see (don’t believe me? WWE ran it as a PPV main event before) twice in four days on free TV and no one gained anything from it.

Let’s talk about Barrett a little more while we’re on the subject because he’s an example of the crux of this whole problem. The following statement was written before HIAC and doesn’t involve Barrett, but it fits perfectly.

WWE wants to push let’s say Kofi. Kofi pins Miz and gets pushed. Well now Miz needs to get his heat back so let’s have him beat Brodus. Brodus looks weak now so have him get a fluke win over Del Rio. Del Rio is angry so he destroys Kofi.

Now we’re say two weeks later, everyone is 1-1 and no one is any stronger than they were when the whole cycle started. Then the cycle starts all over again and there’s no one to get behind because they’re all the same and no one of the four looks ready to move up because they’re the same as everyone else. Then Cena gets hurt and you get lucky that there’s one guy you haven’t jobbed out yet and the fans are getting behind. If Ryback wasn’t there, who in the world were they going to throw at Punk? Orton? Maybe? They need to fix this FAST so there are people to get behind. Stop worrying that these people are going to get hot and leave and enjoy them while you’ve got them there.

How many people does this apply to in WWE? Someone comes in hot, dominates for a few weeks, and then loses to someone else or is just not pushed anymore (think Brodus in the last month). This doesn’t do anyone any good and it’s a big part of why no one can ever seem to get any elevation on the roster anymore.

After that match we had the tag champions facing the Prime Time Players. Why? The Players lost clean at the PPV, so why should they get a chance to face the tag team champions? The titles weren’t on the line, but a win would have launched the Players up in the rankings, likely ahead of a team they lost to a single day ago. Bascially what is being said here is the match at the PPV meant nothing and Sin Cara and Mysterio’s win was worthless.

Cesaro vs. Kingston. This is another great example of the booking being worthless. The Miz was on commentary for this match and Cole constantly talked about how Kofi had beaten Miz three times in a row. The problem here can be summed up in a pair of simple questions: if Miz has lost to Kofi three times in a row, 1) why should I think he has a chance in the fourth match and 2) if Miz wins the fourth match, so what? It puts him at 1-3 in this series, yet by wrestling logic he’ll be declared the winner because he wins last. That’s never made sense to me but it’s how wrestling works.

The 3MB beats Marella/Ryder. Again this is fine as Marella/Ryder are jobbers and the 3MB are a new team (who lost their first match).

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix happened twice with AJ getting destroyed but winning the first match, then getting slammed and pinned in the second about 45 seconds later. Not only does AJ’s win mean nothing at all, but she looked bad in getting the win. This begs the question: why have the second match? “To have a reason to fire Beth.” Here’s another way to fire Beth: DON’T PUT HER ON TV AND RELEASE HER! As usual, WWE makes problems they don’t need to have.

Now it’s Sin Cara/Mysterio vs. the Scholars. Based on the match last night, it appears that the masked guys are getting a push, but now they lose to the Scholars? Easy solution: don’t have them fight. Put the Usos in there instead of the masked guys and have the masked guys beat the Players earlier. The masked guys still win, the Players lose, the Scholars win, and you have a potential big match saved for later. Also this puts the Scholars up 2-0 over the masked guys in two weeks, making any future matches look less interesting ala Miz vs. Kofi.

Remember earlier when I said WWE makes problems they don’t need to have? Gabriel vs. Del Rio is a great example of that. As I said earlier, Gabriel’s win last week looks to mean nothing now. Want to keep the idea of him getting pushed alive? Don’t have him fight here. With the roster WWE has, they don’t have ANYBODY else to put in there? Not Derrick Bateman or, I don’t know, A JOBBER? Yoshi Tatsu anyone?

Finally we get to the Survivor Series announcement. The teams are the usual idea of matching up feuds in an elimination match, but at the end of the day, this match means nothing. The team is called Team Foley, which AGAIN takes the focus off Ryback and puts it on someone else. This is what happened with Cena last week and it’s happening again here. Put SOMETHING on the match so that it means something. Ryback gets a rematch maybe?

So after looking at Raw last night, it’s clear that we have at least two problems: things are too serious, and the matches/booking go nowhere. Why would I want to watch this show? It’s not targeted to me, because stuff like affairs and managing supervisors and fake pictures don’t interest me whatsoever. They don’t interest children either, so who is this show marketed to?

In the review of the show, I mentioned the idea of comic relief. By that, I mean WWE needs to have something on their show where we can breathe for five minutes. Even the Divas have a big serious story going now with someone attacking Kaitlyn and blonde wigs and whatever else is going on. I know I criticized them a lot but sometimes you need good looking women in tiny outfits having bad matches for the sake of bad matches.

For an example of how this can be a problem, look at Wrestlemania 19 with me for a second. The last probably two hours or so are spent on the following in order (matches only):

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

HHH vs. Booker T (Raw World Title)

Hulk Hogan vs. Mr. McMahon

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle (Smackdown World Title)

That’s A LOT to sit through in a row. While the matches are all at least pretty good, they’re all big and sitting through four straight matches that could be called the main event of the show with no break is a lot to ask. For a comparison, let’s look at Wrestlemania X7’s final five matches.

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

TLC 2

Gimmick Battle Royal

Undertaker vs. HHH

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

By simply throwing in an easy match, you give the fans a chance to breathe (as well as go to a restroom and buy nachos and soda for the two big matches. No joke, that’s a good thing to do). If that portion of the Mania 19 card looked like this instead:

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Hulk Hogan vs. Mr. McMahon

Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle (Smackdown Tag Titles)

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar (Smackdown World Title)

By having the Raw World Title moved earlier, that last stretch is MUCH easier to sit through. My point is exactly the same for Raw: give us something where we can turn our brains off and not have to be all focused. It doesn’t have to be comedy even. Just give us something simple that doesn’t mean much. Put out a simple Divas match or a Tyson Kidd match or whatever you like that can go nice and easy with zero thought from us. You have 8.5 hours of TV a week. I’m sure you can come up with five minutes to spare for something like this.

In short, Raw’s main problems are that it’s WAY too serious with no relief and the booking goes nowhere for various reasons. Why would I as a fan want to sit through three hours a week of wrestling that isn’t very entertaining, has no idea what its target audience is, and gives me zero reason to get behind almost anyone on its show? That’s not entertaining television, which is why Raw has been so awful the last few weeks, among other reasons of course.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 29, 2012
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

It’s past HIAC and we’re on the way to Survivor Series now. Ryback got screwed over by the referee that Punk and Heyman yelled at a few weeks ago because of the botched call in the Cena match. Other than that we’ve got Big Show as Smackdown Champion in a decision I like the less I see it. I’m not sure what’s coming tonight but let’s get to it.

Here’s a very banged up champion (Punk) to open the show. He says everyone thought, nay they KNEW, that Punk would be just another victim (hi Taz) in the path of destruction of Ryback. Punk points at a lot of people and says they were wrong. He talks about beating all of the heroes the WWE fans have: Mysterio, Orton, Cena, and now Ryback. As for the referee last night, he had nothing to do with it and only took advantage of the situation. He talks about how awesome his reign is and how there’s no rematch with Ryback.

Cue Foley with an interruption that annoys Punk. Punk: “It’s a homeless guy who got misplaced by the storms in the northeast.” Foley talks about how Ryback left Punk laying on top of the Cell and Punk wants to know why Foley is here. Mick talks about how he told Punk to make himself famous in the Cell instead of cheating again. Punk says that the bandages on his body are the results of doing what Foley told him to do.

Punk rips into the audience a bit and says that the belt is what represents tradition for the last 344 days. The champ throws out the idea of Team Foley vs. Team Punk at Survivor Series and Foley says you’re on. Cue Ryback and Punk runs. No word on if Foley is wrestling in the match or not.

Ryback vs. JTG

Meathook, Shell Shock, 1:58. A lot of that was JTG walking around and a Thesz Press into the head smashes into the mat.

Post match Ryback…..talks? He says that revenge is an admission of pain. He isn’t hurt and the next time he feasts, it will be on Punk. FEED ME PUNK.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Is there some rule that says if you have one match, you have to have it again on the next TV show? Orton dropkicks Wade to the floor but Wade goes after the bad arm. Randy is like DRAMATIC STARE and rams Wade into the steps and the announce table. Back in and Orton hits the Circle Stomp followed by a clothesline to take Barrett to the floor. Uh oh, it’s been less than five minutes since we had a commercial, so let’s go to a break.

Back with Barrett holding an armbar followed by a different variety of an armbar (that’s a good thing) to have Orton in trouble. Wade cranks the arm and sends Orton down to the mat for two. There’s the big boot to Orton in the ropes which gets another two. Orton comes back with his usual stuff (clotheslines, powerslam, you know the deal) but after the Elevated DDT, the RKO is countered into the Winds of Change for two. Not that it matters as the second attempt at the RKO gets the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. I like Barrett, but YET AGAIN he’s a guy that gets off to a hot start and then turns into cannon fodder for the established names. But hey, it’s his fault for not getting over right? To be fair, Barrett at least gets in a good deal of offense and never looks like a clueless putz out there. This was nothing compared to their match on Smackdown though.

We go to Vickie and AJ in the back with AJ possibly getting a job as a Diva back. Vickie asks what AJ thinks her weakness is and she says she gets too attached to her job. Vickie says that means you’re crazy right? AJ has to come up with a good reason to get her job back when Vickie gets back.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Lose on PPV, fight the champions on Raw. Makes sense. Bryan fires off kicks to Young to start but Kane tags himself in and beats on Darren a bit as well. Young takes over on Bryan as Cole called him Darren O’Neil. Bryan realizes he’s getting beaten up by Darren Young and makes the tag to Kane. The side slam sets up the top rope clothesline and a chokeslam kills Young. Titus is shoved to the floor and the NO Lock gets the tap from Young at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Total squash here as the Players, who three months ago seemed like the next champions, are now the tag team jobbers. At least the champions get to look good here which is the right idea for them. The bickering is still funny but I’d like a few more comedy bits from them which have just stopped happening anymore.

The champs argue post match.

We recap the opening promo.

We recap the history of Brad Maddox, with the guy being brought in as a referee when we needed more for the three hour shows. He messed up a count on Punk in a tag match and then somehow his next major appearance is refereeing a world title match in the main event of a PPV. Makes sense.

Here’s Vickie to talk about the new era on Raw. This would be the third new era on Raw this year if you’re counting. She has evidence of AJ and Cena’s inappropriate relationship and brings out Cena to present it. We get a clip from three weeks ago where Cena jokingly asked AJ out on a date. Cena talks about how he tells jokes all the time but Vickie has more footage of Cena hugging a crying AJ. Vickie shows us a still of Cena at dinner with AJ. Cena is wearing his t-shirt and there’s a candle.

The last video is Cena in his hotel doorway and Cena seemingly inviting AJ in. Apparently it was an elevator. Cena says it was nothing and they went their separate ways. Vickie laughs evil and insults AJ, but Cena defends her. FINALLY Ziggler comes out to hopefully make this something resembling interesting if you have 20/4000 vision and squint. Cena says don’t talk about him and AJ anymore and shoves Ziggler down. This felt like WWE ripping off the Claire Lynch story.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Antonio makes fun of America having fat kids which is going to get worse because of Halloween. Miz is on commentary and neither title is on the line. Cole talks about how Kofi has beaten Miz three times in a row. Yet the feud looks to be continuing. You know: because THAT MAKES SENSE. Miz lists off his accomplishments as Cesaro slams Kofi down and double stomps him. After a chinlock goes on for a bit they head to the floor where Kofi throws Cesaro at Miz. Miz interferes for the DQ at 2:32.

The heels beat down Kofi post match until Truth makes the save.

Vickie continues to annoy AJ and offers to give AJ a job as a Diva if AJ admits to the affair. Vickie hires her back anyway and AJ gets to face Beth Phoenix tonight.

We go Behind the Music with 3MB. Mahal says he’s the fun one and Drew talks about his looks. They refuse to perform and THEY HAVE HAND SIGNS. This was so campy that it was AWESOME.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. 3MB

Drew is on the floor for this. Mahal and Ryder start things off with Ryder taking over. Mahal gets in a knee and it’s off to Slater who takes over. Ryder gets beaten on for awhile before Santino gets the tag. Everything breaks down and the match gets REALLY sloppy until Santino Cobras McIntyre, allowing Slater to hit MVP’s Play of the Day for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. It’s 9:37pm EST right now and 3MB has been by far and away the most entertaining thing on this show. Here’s why: it’s the only thing (other than maybe HELL NO) that isn’t being treated as the most serious thing on the planet. It’s something FUN, which is probably the biggest problem on Raw right now: everything is treated so seriously and it’s hard to sit through as it gets tiring after awhile. Sometimes it’s ok to just throw something light and silly out there and let the fans know they’re watching an entertainment show, not a high strung drama.

Jerry Lawler returns to Raw in two weeks. That’s awesome.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

Video on WWE 13.

Here’s Sheamus sans belt for the first time in months. He says that he’s got a smile on his face but no title. Show was the better man last night but it took two knockout punches to do it. He didn’t come to WWE to win all the time. He came here to fight. Last night was the greatest fight of his life and Big Show won. The war is far from over though and he wants a rematch with Big Show. After the war is over, he’ll be smiling and still champion.

Cue Big Show who is very happy to have the title back. He says that the fight last night took him to levels that he didn’t know he could reach and thinks that no one can beat him. If Sheamus fights him again, it’s going to take more than Sheamus has to win. Sheamus can’t beat him and he’ll never take the title from him. He calls Sheamus a ginger snap, so Sheamus picks him up and hits White Noise with ease. That’s scary power.

Cena is with AJ in the back and says it’ll be ok. Cena leaves and Vickie pops up to yell at….Beth. Vickie FIRES Beth because the match shouldn’t have needed to be restarted. That’s how they’re writing her off TV I guess.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cara and Sandow start things off and Damien is quickly frustrated. Off to Cody who gets kicked by both guys and covered for two by Rey. The Scholars cheat and take over on Rey but the masked dudes start cheating as well. Cara hits a PERFECT Asai Moonsault to take Cody out as Rey hits a seated senton off the apron on Sandow as we take ANOTHER FREAKING BREAK.

Back with Damien tagging in Cody to work on the down Sin Cara. A long delayed gordbuster gets two for Cody and it’s time for arm work. Damien comes in and does nothing but Cara reverses an Alabama Slam into a sunset flip for two. Cara’s spinning mat slam puts Cody down and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey speeds things up but gets sent to the floor where the Scholars double team him to take over. Sandow comes in and hits the Wind Up Elbow before tagging back to Rhodes.

Rey counters a double suplex into a double DDT and there’s the tag to Cara. Cara hits a top rope cross body on Rhodes and an enziguri on Sandow for two before going to the floor with Cody. Everything breaks down and Cody pulls Sandow out of the way of a Swanton from Cara, allowing Sandow to hit the Terminus for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but it’s the weekly match that gets extended because we can only stretch out so many recaps and stupid segments. The match was fine, but was there any reason to have the masked guys lose tonight? Why not have them off the card, have Santino/Marella lose here, and have some other random team put the Band over? It’s like you could keep the masked guys hot and put the Scholars over at the same time!

Foley is playing a video game when Heyman comes up and they banter about the Survivor Series match a bit.

Video on breast cancer. Make that a long one about it. Eh it’s the last show of the month with this stuff. The roster (most of it) comes on stage and Cena presents a check to the Susan G Komen Foundation in the amount of one million dollars. Ok that’s awesome. The people from the foundation speak a bit.

Justin Gabriel vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto pounds him down to start but Gabriel comes back with a corner clothesline. Gabriel sends him to the floor but Del Rio wrenches Gabriel’s arm to take over. Off to an arm hold as Ricardo yells at a Hogan fan at ringside. A suplex puts Gabriel down and it’s back to the arm hold. Del Rio kicks him in the back a bit and puts the hold on for a third time. Gabriel comes back and hits his top rope Lionsault but it’s the armbreaker for the tap at 5:20.

Rating: D+. Gabriel beats the US Champion last week, loses to him last night, then gets squashed tonight. All those fans that looked at Gabriel as something new, SCREW YOU! HE’S A LOSER! That’s the WWE idea anymore: keep people looking weak even if they’re big names, because only a few people are allowed to stay pushed.

Here are Heyman and Punk to announce the Survivor Series teams. Punk comes out in a WWE 13 video game hoodie. A big banner comes down with the cover of the game on it. Heyman has been asked to pick Team Punk, so his first name is The Miz. He’s also picked the Rhodes Scholars and Alberto. If it’s not clear at this point who most of Foley’s team is (assuming he’s not wrestling), you need to pay better attention.

Punk runs his mouth a bit before Foley cuts him off again. Foley says Punk weaseled his way out of the Cell last night instead of surviving. He has no problem referring to Punk as champion, but he does have a problem addressing him as a man. Foley’s team is about what you would expect: Kofi (no belt), HELL NO (no belts either), Orton and….Punk starts running his mouth when he thinks Foley is the fifth man. Since….you know what, screw the joke. Ryback is the fifth man, Punk is suddenly an IDIOT that didn’t see that coming, and a brawl (Punk runs from Ryback) won by Team Foley with Cody getting killed by Ryback ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was another bad three hour Raw which is the norm. I’m not going to go into full details of why I didn’t like this Raw as I don’t have the time right now to get into everything in depth, but for now, we’ll go with this: you may have heard of something called comic relief. Think about that term for a second.

It’s comedy used to take pressure off something. That’s what this show is dying for right now. Other than the 3MB and maybe HELL NO, everything is serious. We’ve got people fighting to keep their jobs, accusations of affairs, war, and CANCER. It’s ok to do something stupid every now and then and it can really make things better. In short, lighten up already. It’s not the most serious show in the world.

I know that’s not much to go on, but I’ll be back tomorrow (or Wednesday) with a much more in depth look at what I think is wrong with WWE and Raw in particular.

Results

Ryback b. JTG – Shell Shock

Randy Orton b. Wade Barret – RKO

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – NO Lock to Young

Kofi Kingston b. Antonio Cesaro via DQ when Miz interfered

3MB b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Spinning Neckbreaker to Marella

AJ b. Beth Phoenix – Small Package

Rhodes Scholars b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Terminus to Cara

Alberto Del Rio b. Justin Gabriel – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is something I’ve said for years but it was very true last night:Sometimes the solution to all of the problems with your stories and your angles and everything else that is going wrong is to just have a good wrestling match.  Last night everything was going bad, the stories weren’t clicking and I was just not caring at all about the show.  Then Bryan vs. Ziggler happened and I had a new spirit for the show.  Granted after that it was quickly crushed again, but it helped a lot for awhile and it can help almost every time.

When all else fails, have a good wrestling match.  It’ll help.