Announced on Raw.  Another inductee coming later tonight.

Thoughts on this?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 4, 2002
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 8,849
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re heading into Mania here with I believe only the go home show after this. The NWO is in town tonight and they’re not happy with Austin. This is a request for something that happens in here if I remember it right. The main event tonight is Angle vs. HHH in a cage, which I guess is some kind of softening up match for HHH that I’d assume Jericho had something to do with setting up. Let’s get to it.

We open the show with a shot of Vince who says Flair won’t be here tonight, drawing big booing. Vince says that therefore tonight it’s Fan Appreciation Night and announces the aforementioned cage match. His eyes look all crazy here and he says tonight things are back to normal. Oh yeah this was when Flair was making him crazy.

A member of the NWO will be in action tonight. No name is given but that’s intentional.

Steve Austin vs. Booker T

Now how’s THAT for an opener? Booker is mad about losing his shampoo deal and Austin has a bad knee due to the NWO. If I remember right they broke a cinder block over his leg. For no apparent reason his OTHER knee was bandaged afterwards but whatever. They go into the corner to start and it’s a brawl. Austin does some WHAT stomping and some WHAT chopping. Booker takes over with an elbow shot and stomps Austin down into the corner. Off to a chinlock and here’s the NWO, meaning the match is thrown out. It wasn’t long enough to rate but it was nothing special.

Austin VERY clearly blades on camera and then gets hit in the face with a wrench to bust him open. Booker is gone. There’s something so awesome about Austin and Hogan being in the same ring. This just kind of goes on. By that I mean for like 4-5 minutes. Hall Stuns him.

After a break, Austin is STILL in the ring. Ever Austin, he won’t take the stretcher out.

Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert vs. Test/Mr. Perfect

What a strange heel team. Test says Perfect is his partner for the fans or something like that. It’s not Booker due to him being in the match earlier. Albert vs. Perfect to get us going. Test comes in without his tag being seen so Test beats on him instead. Perfect comes in but can’t Perfectplex him and there’s the tag to Scotty. No one, I mean no one, cares. Everything breaks down and Scotty loads up the Worm on Test….and then he walks into a Perfectplex for the win. This was nothing.

Test and Perfect beat him down until Rikishi of all people makes the save. Perfect gets a Stinkface.

Angle makes fun of the What chants and is glad there’s a cage match tonight. HHH needs to worry about him. Angle says he has nothing to lose tonight.

Tough Enough 2 premieres Thursday.

We get a clip from Smackdown where Goldust stole the Hardcore Title from Maven.

Speaking of Goldie, he’s in the ring with Lillian for an interview. That was the first 24/7 rule usage in years so Goldust quotes movies. Taker was Hardcore Champion for awhile but no one challenged him out of fear. Cue Taz with a challenge.

Hardcore Title: Taz vs. Goldust

Taz takes over to start and kicks Goldie low. Jackie is the referee for no apparent reason. Shattered Dreams to Taz and here come the weapons. Taz kicks a trashcan into his head and there’s the Tazmission which is easily broken up with a trashcan lid shot, which is also good for the pin. NEXT.

The NWO is drinking Austin’s beer. Nash says he’s bored so let’s go take a walk.

RVD is fighting Regal later and won that shot after winning a triple threat last week, which we get clips of. Oh wait the match with Regal is at Mania. He gets Storm tonight and Storm pops up, saying he’ll be serious tonight. Rob says lighten up so Storm slaps him. Rob says that’s cool, we’ll settle it in the ring.

We look at a history of Christian freaking out on Arn Anderson because he wants to quit. DDP comes up and becomes his mentor or something. Page says we can start with a smile. Anderson has no idea what to think of this.

Page and Christian are in the back working on Christian’s Page-esque grin. It doesn’t work but Page says that’s a good thing. Christian gets a phone call and says pull the plug. His grandmother is about to die and apparently when she dies he gets a lot of money. Page has no idea what to think of that. Somewhat funny stuff.

The NWO beat up a stage hand wearing an Austin shirt.

Godfather is at WWF New York. He’s been back for like a month and a half and has done nothing at all.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Jazz is champion. Trish tries to fire away but Jazz is just too strong. Jazz slams her down and drops a leg for two. She hooks a wicked STF and Trish is in trouble. Trish finally makes the rope and makes her comeback. The not yet named Chick Kick gets two. Stratusfaction is blocked and Jazz literally throws her so hard she rips Trish’s top off. Now Trish hooks an STF on Jazz who also makes a rope. Trish won’t break on 5 and it’s a DQ.

Rating: D. The match sucked but it’s the first match out of four that I can actually rate. When you’re almost halfway done with the show and it’s the first match to break 3 minutes, you might be having a problem. For absolutely no apparent reason, Trish didn’t win the title in her hometown of Toronto at Mania. I still don’t get that.

Stephanie is on the phone with Y2J. Jericho is lost in Greenich and is trying to find Stephanie’s lotion called Pristine Mist. Of I remember this episode. HHH pops up behind her with a box. She finally sees him and gets off the phone. HHH makes Stephanie is a W**** jokes and Stephanie finds a bottle of her lotion in the box.

Here’s Taker on the bike. His match at Mania was with Flair, but Ric is taking care of a family emergency. Oh wait it’s not set yet. Taker is trying to get him to agree to the match. Got it. We get a clip from last week with Taker beating up Arn Anderson. Since that wasn’t enough though, Taker went on a little trip this morning. He says Flair is at a hospital tonight, because Taker left him no other choice.

This morning, Taker went to visit Flair’s oldest son, David. We see a clip from this morning where David is training at a WWF facility. Taker comes in and DESTROYS him. They go into a shower and Taker gives commentary. This is really reminiscent of Gunner going nuts a few weeks ago on Impact, but Twith more talented people. David: “What are you doing?” Taker: “What do you think I’m doing? Beating you up! That’s what I’m doing.” Taker kind of cuddles him and talks to Ric. It’s implied that Taker will beat up more Flairs if Ric doesn’t say yes.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

Rob beat him last night on Heat which is why this match is happening in the first place. Er…second place. They quickly head to the floor and RVD hits the spinning kick to the back. RVD tries his rolling monkey flip into the corner but Lance kicks the knee out. Can’t argue with the thought process there. Van Dam fights out of the corner but Storm breaks up the Five Star attempt and hits a superplex for two.

Storm wraps the leg around the post and Rob is in trouble. How nice it is to see a match actually getting some time on this show. There’s a leg drag and Storm hooks the Mapleleaf. See? PSYCHOLOGY AGAIN!!! To be fair though, he was trained in the Dungeon so you know he’s going to be smart. Rob gets in a shot but can’t jump to the top due to the knee. Storm tries another superplex but gets knocked down and a sunset bomb gets two. Springboard clothesline gets two for the Canadian. A spinwheel kick puts Lance down and the Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. For a five minute TV match, this was pretty awesome. It’s no classic or anything and it might be due to how weak the wrestling has been on this show so far, but I was digging this. Then again I like Storm’s in ring stuff so I’m extra biased. Still though, fun match and I was really liking it.

The NWO plays Rock Paper Scissors to determine who wrestles tonight and pours hot coffee onto the coffee checker. Who has a guy whose job is just to check coffee? Hall is wrestling tonight if you’re curious.

Music video on Rock set to P.O.D.’s I Feel So Alive. This was a recurring thing they were doing at this time, usually set to My Sacrifice by Creed. I could do without the song when I see him ask Hogan for the match at Mania, which is still a pretty awesome moment. This eats up a bit too much time. Rock is cool and all, but is there really a point to this?

Back to the NWO and we hear that Rock is going to be at Smackdown. They have a hopper with names in it. They use it to pick Hall’s opponent. Hogan: “I hope it’s not Andre the Giant.” They seem nervous, so I’ll set the Squash-O-Meter at about a 15/10.

The NWO is in the ring and Hall says the fans appreciate the beating he gave Austin. Whoever comes out next, he sees as Steve Austin.

Scott Hall vs. Spike Dudley

I’m as shocked as you are, and I knew who the opponent was. What exactly do you expect here? Jerry calls Spike Austin, Hall is in street pants and an NWO shirt, Spike gets in a few shots and it lasts about 150 seconds. Razor’s Edge ends it.

Mark Henry returns. Recently he won a strongman contest. He’s officially the World’s Strongest Man. And so it begins.

The cage is lowered.

We go to the back and Angle comes in to see Stephanie, who has her back to us. He sees her and says “Holy sweet mother of God.” I remember this and I thought it was hilarious. Not the payoff but Kurt’s reaction. The camera swings around and Stephanie’s skin is all messed up because HHH switched her lotion with something else. She freaks and it’s a pretty funny scene.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

Cage match, escape only. They feel each other out to start for a few seconds but it’s quickly a fist fight. Angle goes for the door so HHH kicks him low. All Game so far. Angle finally hits a clothesline to take over. He goes for the escape but HHH throws him back to the mat. A low blow puts HHH down as Jerry keeps talking about HHH’s balls. Belly to belly puts HHH down and Kurt pounds him in the corner.

Here are some rolling Germans for HHH. He goes to leave but the door isn’t allowed to be open. Uh….why not? HHH comes back with a facebuster and up he goes. Angle’s attempted save misses but his second works. Back to the ring they go as Jerry talks about HHH. Angle Slam hits as the door was open for a bit. Angle walks into a Pedigree but here’s Stephanie.

To her credit she rams Teddy into the cage and slams the door on HHH’s head because that’s what you do to guys about to win cage matches. Angle goes to leave but Stephanie won’t let him out so he’ll hurt HHH more. HHH is busted a bit by a shot into the cage. Angle goes to leave but walks in on his own decision.

HHH counters with a slingshot into the cage and both guys are down. Stephanie slides a chair in but it’s right between the two guys so it’ll likely be a race to who gets it. Double clothesline puts both guys down. HHH grabs a DDT onto the chair and climbs. Stephanie comes in and cracks him with the chair the does it again. She grabs Kurt and pulls him out for the win while HHH is stuck in the ropes.

Rating: C. Did you know Stephanie was involved in this? If not, just open your eyes, because she’s in it EVERY TWO SECONDS. Angle could have been anyone out there and it wouldn’t have mattered. He was there as a soldier for Stephanie but in the end she had better luck against HHH than he did. Gee, I can’t imagine who wrote this storyline can you?

Overall Rating: D. The matches were short, the main event was weak, and if it weren’t for the 5 million videos about it, I wouldn’t have had any idea that Mania was coming. It’s two weeks before the biggest show of the year and the world champion doesn’t even make a cameo? Does something seem wrong about that? Anyway, nothing to see here and a really weak show before what I thought was an underwhelming Mania.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 2, 2012
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Lawlerville tonight for the first WWE show of the year. There are two major things tonight: we see who the It Begins videos are for and we have a world title match in the form of Punk vs. Ziggler. With the ratings sagging, it might be interesting to see if the title changes hands tonight. Anyway, the road to the Rumble probably will get going tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending last week where the fans didn’t chant Cena Sucks, even though the video presents it as if they did. This is the most forced attempted heel turn ever.

Cena opens the show to of course a mixed reaction. He doesn’t look that upset. He wishes everyone a happy new year and it’s a split chant again. Cena talks about how the new year is time for resolutions and changes. He’s going to make some changes in 2012. First off, he’s going to start wearing less underwear (girl pop). As for the This is Your Life John Cena segment, his dad is now banned from WWE programing.

Finally, the last change is coming at Wrestlemania. After he beats Rock, he’s resolving to prove he’s lost his lady parts. The one thing that won’t change: he’s going to remain who he is and his convictions will remain true. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect don’t go away because someone throws fire at you. Every single one of the fans here has paid their money to be here tonight and if they want to cheer, boo, or shout whatever they want, that’s up to them and they’ve earned that right.

Cena’s disappointment is in Kane. Kane has an issue with Cena and Kane can’t settle it the way we do it here in the WWE. Kane pops up….or at least his voice does. He says Cena will eventually embrace the hate and tonight, he’ll witness the power of hate. Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

After a graphic about Punk vs. Ziggler, a video pops up saying the end begins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan gets NO reaction. Cena got a big reaction and Kane got a pop too, but this is pathetic. Cody shakes off some kicks to start and hooks onto the arm. Bryan fights back and hits the running knee off the apron to the floor. Back in the Beautiful Disaster gets two. Cody tries a release gordbuster and gets rolled up for the pin at 3:20. Where do I begin?

Rating: D. So the IC Champion who has a big match on Friday loses in 200 seconds. Could they be any more counter productive with this stuff? Does the name Jack Swagger or Drew McIntyre not ring a bell to anyone? I’m already in a bad mood tonight and this is just making it worse.

Video of Miz getting attacked last week.

Miz comes in to see Johnny Ace and Ace says he won’t do anything about it. Miz wants to know why he’s here tonight then. Ace shows him a video of Miz attacking Truth two months ago but Miz says he doesn’t know why Truth would attack him. Sheamus vs. Miz tonight. Ace says he’ll have some people watching for Truth tonight. Miz says he’ll be a sitting duck. He leaves and the camera watches him go. Truth pops up and does a duck dance. This also gets a bigger reaction than Bryan had.

Video on Duggan’s Rumble win.

Barrett comes out for a match but before the match we get a clip of the Orton injury moment. Barrett says he’d wish us a happy new year, but he really doesn’t care about his new year, or our old year for that matter. This has been a good year for him already due to a lack of Orton. Orton was just another victim of the Barrett Barrage. Santino comes out and reminds us that he lasted longer than Barrett did in last year’s Rumble. He makes train sounds so he’s funny, get it?

Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella

Let’s get this over with. Barrett throws punches and Santino does the splits. Barrett stops and kicks him in the head which makes me smile. Santino tries to load up the Cobra and gets a kick to the face. His shoulder goes into the most and Winds of Change ends this at 1:18.

The Bellas argue in front of Miz and Miz asks if they’ve seen Truth. He walks off and Truth is still stalking him.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Miz immediately jumps Sheamus with a DDT and pounds him down. I don’t think the bell rang yet. He gets Sheamus tied in the ropes but Sheamus kicks him off. There are the forearms in the ropes and I mean like 20 of them. They go to the floor and Miz runs into the crowd. Truth jumps on the PA and is in the crowd.

Guess who he ran into? LITTLE JIMMY! Little Jimmy doesn’t like Miz. Little Jimmy says Miz needs to get got. Miz runs back to ringside and right into a Brogue Kick. Truth pops him with the water bottle. There was never an official match I don’t think. Truth goes back into the crowd and says this week’s Miz Beatdown was brought to you by Little Jimmy where you’re going to get got.

We see how Ziggler “earned” his shot tonight.

Ziggler is showing off in the back and says he flaunts it better than anyone else does every night. He talks about debt and how it dominates things, but he’s a walking talent surplus. Everything he’s wanted he’s gotten except for the WWE Title. He wins tonight. Good stuff.

Ryder continues to hit on Eve because he’s the US Champion so he’s hitting on a woman. Swagger comes up and says he should be champion. They get into an argument and Ace pops up. There’s a six man elimination tag with Kane/Swagger/Kane vs. Cena/Ryder/Show.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

You know, because the world title needs to end the first hour, not the main event of the show. This gets big match intros. If they let this match go, it should be good. They go to the mat to start and neither guy can get much of an advantage. Backbreaker gets two for Punk. Punk takes over for awhile until Ziggler hits a hot shot to take over. Ziggler gets in a shot on the floor and we hit the chinlock and take a break.

Back with them slugging it out on their knees but Ziggler grabs the sleeper. Punk quickly escapes and hits a leg lariat to take over. Snap powerslam gets two. They trade rollups and Dolph hits a Fameasser for two. Stinger Splash and something like a reverse powerslam gets two. They go to a corner and the buckle gets pulled off. Knee in the corner and a bulldog get two for Punk.

He calls for the GTS but here comes Ace. He points out the exposed buckle as Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Ziggler is tapping but there’s no referee so Punk lets it go. Ziggler tries the Zig Zag but Punk moves and Ziggler collides with Ace. GTS is countered and Ace pulls the top rope down. The fastest count ever results in a LAME countout win for Ziggler at 13:09.

Rating: C+. It was good up until the really stupid ending. If Ace wants the title off Punk that badly, wouldn’t he know to throw him back inside? I think we know what the Rumble is going to be though and that’s fine. Anyway, good stuff here, until the ending. That’s about what you would expect for this match though.

Ziggler celebrates with the title and goes into the crowd. The video interrupts it and says He Is Here.

Another Rumble video, this one from 1995.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly vs. let’s say Brie to start and Kelly does her spanking and Stinkface to get on my nerves even more. Eve comes in and does her usual stuff. The moonsault is broken up and it’s Nikki in now. Top rope moonsault gets two and it’s Twin Magic for the pin on Eve at 2:04. Are we really back to this again?

Punk comes in to yell at Ace and Ace makes Punk vs. Ziggler with Ace as referee for the Rumble. Punk says if he gets screwed out of the title, Otunga is going to come in handy because Punk will be arrested for animal cruelty when he beats Ace like a female dog.

Here’s another video with very similar images. It says a familiar force shall arrive to claim what is his. She holds the beckoning of his rebirth. The focus seems to bemore on the girl in this. She has spoken. It is time. And it looks like an earthquake in the arena. And it’s…..a blackout. Big Y2J chant starts up and there are lights of a guy in Jericho’s pose on the stage. It’s Jericho. Blast it. Freaking blast it. All those weeks and it’s Jericho….again.

Jericho takes a lap around the ring, slaps the hands of the fans, goes into the ring, goes back outside and slaps more hands and does the pose where he leans against the crowd. It’s Y2J Jericho too. He keeps playing to the crowd but hasn’t said a word onto the mic yet. There’s something up here. He goes outside AGAIN and shouts at the crowd. Now he points to the side of the crowd he wants to cheer. I’m waiting on a heel promo here.

And he drops the mic and does it AGAIN. This has been going on for like 5 minutes now. Here’s lap #4 around the ring and the fans are getting tired. Up the ramp he goes to grab a camera. And now he’s leaving. Ok no he isn’t…..and yes he is. He’s on the stage and there are some boos now. And he leaves. Jerry isn’t sure what we just saw. Jericho never said a word into the mic and nothing at all other than COME ON BABY!

Big Show/Zack Ryder/John Cena vs. Kane/Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

Elimination rules here. And there’s no Kane. Instead Otunga comes out and says it’ll be a handicap match. Swagger and Cena start us off with Cena taking him to the mat and dropping an elbow for two. Dropkick gets the same. Swagger kicks him into the corner and we take a break. Back with a Vader Bomb getting two. Cena backdrops out of it and here’s Big Show. No eliminations yet.

Show beats Swagger up and it’s time for a battle of the giants. Henry gets knocked to the floor and Show goes after him. Henry grabs a chair but Show knocks it out of his hands and cracks him in the back with it to get us down to two on two. It’s a double elimination though so it’s now Ryder/Cena vs. Swagger. Ryder comes in for the first time that we’ve seen and hits the Broski Boot. Rough Ryder is countered into an awful powerbomb and the ankle lock. Ryder makes the tag to break the hold and Cena cleans a few rooms (I don’t think Swagger qualifies as a house). AA ends this at 8:22.

Rating: D. Uh…yeah whatever man. I don’t get the point of anything here other than the lack of Kane. Having him not come in here is a good thing as he needs to make a big return for his first match back. Not a terrible match but what was the point of this being like 8 minutes long? I don’t get it.

Ryder is down from the ankle lock and the fire goes off. Cena goes straight up the ramp to go after Kane when he pops up through the ring. He gets one shot on Ryder and knocks Cena off the apron. Cena get smothered down and is out. Kane goes back in and grabs Ryder’s bad ankle. He pulls him down into the hole with him ala Taker and Diesel. Or maybe he doesn’t as Cena pulls Ryder out before he goes under. A big explosion from the hole and a bunch of fire pops out to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The word of the night should be frustrating, because this show just failed to deliver on almost everything. Cody loses in three minutes, the world title match goes nowhere other than to set up another match, Brodus doesn’t debut still, Kane is a no show (which might be a good thing), Jericho does…..whatever (and yes I know it’s going somewhere else) and the main event was whatever it was. I don’t know what they were shooting for here, but I don’t think it was their foot like they hit.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package
Wade Barrett b. Santino Marella – Winds of Change
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk via countout
Bella Twins b. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly – Small package to Eve
Big Show/John Cena/Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger/Kane/Mark Henry – Cena last eliminated Swagger to win

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Yep. Just like in 2007. I’m as shocked as I sound. Can’t you hear the shock in my voice?

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2001
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

The Invasion rolls on tonight and we’re getting very close to the King of the Ring. After tonight there’s only one show left before the PPV so things should be heating up pretty well. Tonight has a pretty famous main event as it’s Benoit vs. Angle in a cage. Angle brings out the best in Benoit which is saying a lot so that should be good. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Regal to open the show to huge heat. He wants to know where all the sportsmanship and decency has gone. We get clips of Jericho “cheating” last week as Regal tries to spin things. He considered stepping down as commissioner but he believes in the power of good manners so he’ll stick with it, despite a loud Foley chant. Tonight, Jericho has to face Rhyno and Big Show at the same time. Benoit on the other hand, gets Angle inside a cage.

As for King of the Ring, just because Benoit and Jericho have both beaten Austin in tag matches, that doesn’t mean they’re going to be in the title match at King of the Ring. That may have been the case in former Commissionerships but….cue Foley. Foley admits that some tomfoolery went on while he was on the job. Actually it happened every day while he was Commissioner. They’re treating it like a medical disease. They have a battle of WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR VOICE and somehow that transitions into Foley was on the Tonight Show.

Speaking of Tonight, “right here tonight in Richmond, Virginia”, Foley has a special guest. Regal tries to get rid of Foley but Linda McMahon comes out to that rocking old school Wrestlemania theme. She’s been thinking about the King of the Ring and says the Canadians are worthy of title shots. As for what might be fair, what about Austin defends against both of them? If Austin beats the first one, he has to face the second one.

Regal asks if that’s fair and Linda says no, but she means not to the Canadians. If Benoit went first and won, then Jericho gets no shot. We get a clip from Smackdown of Austin saying he can beat Jericho and Benoit at the same time. Therefore, Mick called her and suggested…something that we have to wait for a Foley chant to end to hear. It’ll be a triple threat at King of the Ring. Linda says that what she and her lawyers want and Regal has to agree. Before they leave, Foley reminds Linda that Regal called her a deadbeat, giving us that awesome look that Linda does when her eyes bug out.

Edge is talking to Rhyno when Christian comes up. He thinks he’s been left out of the Already Advanced To The King Of The Ring Club. Christian whines that he has to fight Kane to get into the tournament.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Kane vs. Christian

Kane dominates him to start with the power game. Christian tries to use speed but gets kicked in the face. Top rope clothesline kills Christian but Edge breaks up the pin attempt. While Edge is being dealt with, Albert runs in and hits the Baldo Bomb as Christian steals the pin. He might have gotten in two shots before that.

Austin and Debra arrive and Linda and Foley meet them. Austin yells at her so Foley gets in his face. Steve yells into the window of their limo but Foley tells him about the title match and they drive off. That shut him up….kind of.

Foley was on the Tonight Show. That’s pretty awesome.

Hardy Boys vs. X-Factor

It’s Credible/Pac here. Jeff has won the Light Heavyweight Title on Smackdown. I don’t think anyone knew that title existed so it was kind of shocking to see. Matt vs. Pac gets us going and they speed things up. Jeff is in a sweatshirt which is too big for him. Matt gets sent to the floor where Justin takes his head off with a superkick. Matt gets beaten down for awhile but avoids the Bronco Buster. Justin misses a baseball slide as well as the post that his balls were supposed to hit. Hot tag to Jeff and house is cleaned. Jeff loads up the Swanton but Lita hits that perfect top rana and then the Swanton hits for the pin on Pac.

Rating: D+. Too short to be all that bad but it was nothing special. X-Factor never amounted to anything at all so it was nice to see them lose here. I don’t think they lasted much longer but Albert wound up win the IC Title in about two weeks. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t bad. Actually scratch that: Lita’s hurricanrana was, but that’s one of my favorites.

X-Factor beats them down post match, including a chair shot to Jeff.

Austin runs in to Regal’s office and yells A LOT. Hey dude, we know your name already. There goes the tea and Austin demands Regal face him like a man. Tajiri comes to Regal’s defense and that’s the last we’ll see of him for awhile.

Trish seems to flirt with Blackman before his match at King of the Ring with Saturn. This goes nowhere.

Jericho tells Benoit he’ll get the first shot if he wins. Benoit says Jericho will get the first shot.

Spike and Molly like each other. They’re in a six man tag tonight against each other. This is really awkward. They’re about as good at acting as Stephanie. Nothing is going to come between them but Bubba pulls Spike away from kissing her.

Austin yells at Vince and shouts c-o-n-spiracy! Austin gets in Vince’s face and then hugs him. He rubs his hand up Vince’s back as you do when you hug someone but has a mindless and kind of scary look on his face. Funny…..?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno/Big Show

Rhyno comes out first so Jericho goes after him as fast as he can. Jericho suplexes him and hits the springboard dropkick to put Show on the floor. Lionsault gets two but Show pulls him to the floor. The monsters have to tag. Rhyno beats on Jericho and rams him into Show’s boot. Another big boot puts Jericho down and the Canadian is in trouble. Jericho manages to knock Rhyno down but there’s too much Big Show. Chris does manage to send Show into Rhyno and hits a missile dropkick to Show. Rhyno breaks up the Walls (that’s a new one) and the chokeslam ends Jericho. Then Rhyno Gores Show and steals the pin.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would expect: dominance by the monsters, a little comeback by Jericho, and then a win for the monsters. I don’t know what the point of this really was, other than the ending I guess, but it was nothing of interest either way. Jericho got dominated as you would expect. What’s the point?

Shane arrives and runs into Kane. Kane gets in Shane’s face and says he’ll take out Albert. Shane thanks Kane for saving him from Undertaker about the whole stalking thing. I really need to watch Smackdown to get the other half of these stories. Shane suggests Kurt might have something to do with it.

Rhyno says that’s the third win in a row over Jericho so if Jericho wins the title, he has to be #1 contender.

Jericho is getting looked at when Austin jumps him.

Here’s Kurt who has something to say. He makes fun of Richmond because that’s what heels do. Kurt brings up the Confederacy which is still a sore spot in the south. He brings up the whole reenactment of battles which the south lost. That’s a good point but I live in the south and I don’t want to listen to how the south will rise again from my family. Anyway, there’s a cage match tonight and how about it huh? His motto in life is that cheaters never win, and Benoit is a cheater.

We get the same video from last week where Kurt was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame. Angle calls himself the closest thing to a modern day superhero there is. And no, HE DOESN’T SUCK! He’ll use those powers to win back to back King of the Rings. He calls out Shane but gets Taker instead. He says word has it Kurt likes messing with other men’s wives. Kurt denies knowing anything about it. He met Sara once and didn’t find her attractive.

That earns him a Last Ride and we get a new video. The guy is at Taker’s home again but Sara isn’t there. Instead Sara is at a hotel where she’s been hidden from him. He’s growing tired of Taker’s games and steals some of Sara’s clothes. Using her lipstick, he writes I Know Where You Are on the mirror. Taker runs off and Shane pops up with an Angle Slam to Kurt.

Rock was at the MTV Movie Awards. This was before he was an actual mainstream star. Pink and Ben Stiller might know who he is.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Perry Saturn vs. Steve Blackman

Trish is with Blackman here. Perry is still loopy but once the match starts he’s fine. Go figure. Basic stuff to start and Blackman gets a spinebuster. Terri tries to interfere but Trish gets her down. Saturn grabs a crucifix for two. Dean interferes as well and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza ends Blackman. This was nothing.

Trish goes after Terri post match and Dean accidentally hits Saturn in the head with a kendo stick.

Austin is freaking out so Debra offers him carrots and broccoli. Austin very calmly: “I don’t want a carrot.” He eats some of it anyway while freaking out.

The male Hollies are warming up when Molly comes up and begs them to not hut Spike. They make fun of her for it and says the only way Spike survives is if Molly beats him.

Terri and Dean come in to see Regal and request a week off for Saturn. Regal says ok and Saturn comes in and says British people fight dragons so they don’t get all firey. He also debuts his catchphrase of You’re Welcome.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies

Spike and Molly are in this one. Crash starts with Spike but Molly is brought in quickly. They don’t want to fight of course and are all afraid of it. Bubba is his usual awesome self: “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? PUNCH HER IN THE HEAD!” Molly takes him down by mistake and Hardcore tags himself in for the sake of the crowd not joining a drum circle. Crash goes up but gets crotched. Not hot tag brings in D-Von who hits What’s Up on Crash. It’s Table Time and Molly runs away from Bubba. In the ring the 3D ends Crash and we’re done.

Rating: D. Again nothing to see here but the whole thing was to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to here in a minute. The Spike/Molly SHOWDOWN sucked and lasted about 15 seconds. This feud has run its course now and needs to end, which to be fair I think it more or less did after this.

Bubba and Hardcore go through the table (looked fake beyond believe) so Spike and Molly finally kiss. It got a BIG pop so at least there’s that.

The cage is lowered.

Update on HHH’s knee rehab. They test his range of motion.

Test is at WWF New York. He says Stephanie is a sl** and is really good friends with Shane. As for joining WCW, he might do that.

Here are all of the Austin segments from earlier in the show.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This is in a cage and Austin comes out to do commentary. Angle spears him down to start. You can win by pin, submission or escape here. Angle hits a quick suplex but the second is countered into a failed Crossface attempt. Benoit fires off chops and Angle is rammed into the cage. Kurt puts Benoit down with a gutwrench suplex and then a second. He goes to escape but Benoit climbs up to catch him. After a lot of pounding, the Canadian hits a German on the American off the top.

Benoit goes up again but misses, allowing Kurt to hit a top rope elbow for no cover again. JR keeps implying Austin is losing the title at the PPV while Heyman keeps trying to kiss Austin’s feet. A low blow and Angle Slam put Benoit down and Angle goes up. Here’s your famous moment of the match as Kurt goes up for a moonsault and totally misses it, nearly killing himself in the process. After the match Vince basically said do that again and you’re gone. It looked awesome though.

Angle looks out of it but he manages to send Benoit into the cage to keep him down. Benoit blocks another shot into the cage and hits three Rolling Germans. Angle escapes for a second and then makes it six total Germans. There are suplexes 7-9 and Angle looks dead. Benoit goes up top but Austin stops him by holding up a chair. These guys do know you can win by pin right?

Benoit is like I can out crazy you Kurt, and launches the Swan Dive off the top. JR says it was indescribable. Benoit dove off the top of the cage and hit Angle in the shoulder/chest with a flying headbutt. Sounds describable to me. Benoit goes for the door but Austin blocks it. Chris kicks the door open and into Austin’s face but Kurt grabs the ankle lock as he’s escaping. An enziguri puts Kurt down and Benoit goes to escape again, only for Austin to slam the door on his head. Well if he hadn’t stuck his head out like that, it wouldn’t have happened. Angle climbs out to win.

Rating: B+. Major gripes I have about this (we’ll get to those) aside, this was GREAT. Angle took a man’s beating here. Both guys got destroyed and while the Austin interference was obvious, I don’t get the point in having Benoit lose here. Again, we’ll get to why in a minute, but I really didn’t like the outcome of this.

Austin destroys Benoit with a chair post match.

Overall Rating: C-. The theme of this show was that Austin is running scared of Benoit and Jericho. That’s fine. However, why in the world did they need to have both Canadians lose? The problem with their push is that the only big win either of them has is Jericho over Austin due to an error by HHH and Benoit beat him in another tag. Was there ANY need to have Rhyno pin Jericho here? I mean…he’s Rhyno.

Same with Angle. Angle is a much bigger star than Rhyno and you could have given Benoit some main event credibility here by having that Swan Dive win it. Angle was feuding with no one at this point, unless you could Spike Dudley. By the end of the cage match, Angle had taken so much punishment that it wouldn’t have been a big deal if he had lost.

Look at Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match building up to Orton vs. Hardy at the 08 Rumble. It’s the same thing but Jeff won with the Whisper in the Wind off the top. Same idea, but done right. I don’t get the booking here, but the Alliance threw it all out anyway so it doesn’t really matter. Next week: The Stalker Revealed.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2001
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 11,417
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Back to the Invasion era (kind of) as we’re rolling up to King of the Ring. Last week Benoit got his title shot in a great match so tonight it’s Jericho’s turn. Also I think we begin qualifying matches for the tournament as I remember watching the Rhyno vs. Tazz match that’s on the card tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the rematch from Smackdown where Benoit almost won the title again. That match might have been even better. Those two had some scary chemistry. Benoit destroyed Vince with a chair and Austin stole the win with tights.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Christian

The tape on Kane’s arm is shrinking. Christian runs down Minnesota because everyone from there is a freak. The bell rings twice for some reason and Kane hammers away quickly. He hits the top rope clothesline but Edge has the referee. He interferes again so Kane goes after him but the power of Canada causes his bad arm to go into the steps. Christian gets a low dropkick for two but I don’t think his offense is going to be lasting much longer.

The challengers gets slammed off the top but Edge distracts from the chokeslam. Edge takes one instead and HUGH MORRUS runs in, hits a moonsault (complete with a big WCW logo on the Tron and a siren blaring) and leaves. A BIG layout powerbomb kills Christian and Kane keeps the title. Shane celebrates in the production truck.

Rating: D+. Just a squash but the whole point was to have Morrus do the ending which is still cool looking. Acknowledging that it’s WCW is a nice touch as everyone knew who it was but it’s cool to hear it. This was a huge moment but unfortunately it wouldn’t get much more exciting than this. The match was just there.

Here’s Vince and he’s mad. He says that Shane isn’t going to cause trouble in his company. Now onto Benoit and Vince REALLY isn’t happy with him. He lists off things that his injuries could be called and the fans cheer louder each time. Benoit is never getting another title shot because he’s sadistic. Only a sadist would give Austin ten suplexes in a row. Tonight, Benoit gets Big Show.

Cue Foley to a BIG ovation. He has his new book with him so what do you think he’ll be talking about? Foley thanks the fans for making it a bestseller for the second week in a row. He’s in People Magazine also. However, he’s here to talk about the piece of paper he’s been using as a bookmark. It’s a contract, one of which he signed while Commissioner. This one says he can make a main event for any Raw he chooses. Tonight, it’s Austin vs. Jericho for the title. Benoit and Vince are banned from ringside. Vince says that contract doesn’t count because we’re not in Connecticut or something like that.

Foley has a counter for that though. He brings out GOVERNOR JESSE VENTURA. Vince looks TERRIFIED. Jesse puts on his glasses and looks at the contract. He says that he’s the highest elected official in Minnesota and since Vince couldn’t control him when he worked for Vince, he certainly can’t control him now. What Vince needs to learn is that there are people in the world more powerful than he is, and Jesse is one of them. He shakes Mick’s hand, says have a nice day, and that’s that. Jesse is one of those guys that is just awesome every time you see him and it worked here. Foley says he has a big surprise for Vince later.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Well isn’t this interesting? They come out together which isn’t something you see that often. Matt is European Champion. Jeff grabs a rollup for two very quickly. Matt tries the Twist but Jeff counters. Expect to read the word counter a lot in this. The fans like Lita the best and in that pink top I can’t blame them. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff tries to run the railing but Matt ducks.

In a SWEET spot, Matt charges at Jeff while Jeff is up against the ring. Jeff backdrops him up against the ropes and in a Tajiri like bounce, Matt bounces off of them and hits a DDT to Jeff. The middle rope legdrop misses and Jeff loads up the Swanton but gets crotched. Jeff shoves him off and tries the Swanton again but it hits knees. The Twist is countered into a backslide for the surprise pin for Jeff.

Rating: C+. The idea here of course was that they knew each other so well and they kept countering one another. Having the ending be quick like that was the right move and it worked out well. Good stuff here and WAY better than their match at Mania and Extreme Rules, but that could just be due to this being when they were young and motivated to have good matches.

Austin is polishing the belt when Vince comes in. He has some bad news for Austin: he has to defend the title tonight against Jericho. Vince blames Linda so Austin says just give her half of your money ($500 million) because if you can’t live on $500 million, you’re planning on living too long. In a funny bit, Austin starts to say that no woman deserves that but looks at Debra and says NEVER MIND. Funny stuff.

Trish is in the back when Foley comes up. She’s mad about being challenged to a bra and panties match by Terri. Foley asks if Trish is scared and turns this into a story about Alexander Hamilton dying into a duel. If he had a bra and panties match, he’d still be alive. Trish: “He’d be over 200 years old.” Foley: “EXACTLY! It’s part of your duty as an American to compete tonight.” Trish: “Mick, I’m Canadian.” Foley: “Which is part of….North America.” Trish: “You’re right!” HILARIOUS segment.

Regal and Tajiri are in his office and Tajiri gives him some tea. It needs to be two degrees warmer. Kurt comes in and Tajiri is sent off for more tea. Shane has accepted Kurt’s challenge at King of the Ring. Angle also mentions that he wants to win the King of the Ring again so Regal puts him in. He also wants Spike Dudley so Regal adds him to the Holly team and adds Spike to the Dudleys so it’s a six man.

The Dudleys aren’t happy because Spike is their partner.

Molly Holly is at WWF New York and looks great in a blue dress. She thanks the fans but more importantly, Spike for all the flowers he sent. She says she likes him. Spike sees it and freaks out.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies/Kurt Angle

Six man tag here. Hardcore and Kurt have a quick argument due to the whole severely broken arm Kurt gave Hardcore a few years ago. D-Von and Hardcore start but Spike comes in before there’s any contract. Kurt wants to come in but gets decked quickly and it’s back to D-Von, giving us two tags before there was any contact between the legal men. We get going and D-Von hits a powerslam for two.

The fans want tables but that would be a DQ here, so do they want the Dudleys to lose? Actually who are the faces here? The Dudleys want to put Molly through a table which is hardly a good guy action. Hardcore beats on Spike for a bit, including the punt to the “abdomen”. Off to Crash for such a short time that I didn’t see him do anything. Back to Hardcore who hits a suplex for two.

Crash comes in and there’s a distinct lack of Kurt in this, which I think is the point. Spike manages a tag to Bubba but the fans miss it. Kurt does get in and Spike GOES OFF, until Hardcore gets in a shot and Spike gets killed by a German. Spike blocks a superplex and hits a double stomp off the middle rope.

Double tag brings in Bubba and Hardcore and a Bubba Bomb puts him down. Crash takes a Samoan Drop and Hardcore takes a Doomsday Device. Kurt pops in for a German on Bubba but the moonsault misses. Hey Kurt. WHAT’S UP??? Bubba calls for a table but it’s a 3D to Crash instead. A quick Angle Slam pins Bubba though.

Rating: C. Again this feud is just kind of fun. There’s no main event or title implications to it but the feud works very well. It’s well done and the feud makes perfect sense. For some reason, that just can’t be done today. It seems that everything has to be part of a bigger purpose and a bigger story. Nothing can be a small and self contained story anymore.

Big Show vs. Chris Benoit

Show runs over Benoit to start as we hear again that Benoit was an undefeated WCW Champion. We’ll ignore that it was because he never defended it I guess, much like everything about Benoit is ignored anymore. Off to a bearhug by Show which Benoit bites out of. Gorilla press drop by Show and Benoit is in trouble. Show goes up (GULP!) but misses a middle rope elbow. Swan Dive is caught into a chokeslam but Benoit counters that into the Crossface and Show taps out! Too short to rate but that ending was pretty awesome. I’m a sucker for Benoit going all wrestling master and countering stuff into the Crossface.

Taker arrives, over halfway into the show.

Here’s Taker in the arena and he’s ticked off because of the stalking of his wife. If someone wants to do something with him, do it now and keep his family out of it. Taker says nothing is going to be easy until this ends. And then he turns to JR. JR was the first one to get the letter about the tape. Taker doesn’t think JR has something to do with it but if there’s something JR isn’t telling him, he’ll be the first name on Taker’s list. Heyman says the words “old lady” and is promptly punched in the face. JR suggests that he go ask Vince.

Taker says that’s a good idea and we get another video of Sara outside and it looks like she’s watering plants or something. The voice says that if he wanted to get closer then he would. Taker’s dog is out there too. Sara goes inside and the voice says she thinks she’s safe in there. Back in the arena, Taker goes to the back and isn’t happy.

Classic KOTR: Taker vs. Mankind in the Cell.

Back from a break and Taker kicks in the door to Vince’s office, demanding answers. Vince says he has nothing to do with this. He may have an ego but he doesn’t have a death wish. Vince suggests it might be the same person that flashed the WCW logo: Shane. Taker threatens Vince with the insertion of the WWF into a place it isn’t designed to go on Vince’s body if he’s lying.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Rhyno vs. Tazz

Rhyno is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. Nice pop for Tazz. Rhyno pounds him into the corner to start and hits what would have been a Gore had it not been for the corner. This is Tazz’s first match since Mania? I didn’t really miss him. Rhyno comes off the middle rope but jumps into a suplex. Tazz Gores Rhyno for two and I remember that from when I was 13. Tazz hooks the Tazmission but Rhyno uses the Bigelow Breaking The Ring counter. Gore ends this.

Rating: D. I have no idea why this match sticks out to me but it does. Not a good match or anything and you can see Tazz is completely gone. Rhyno would make the semi-finals of the KOTR but wouldn’t go anywhere until the Invasion started when he moved up to the midcard with a few quick main event shots.

Austin and Debra are a bit nervous about Mick’s surprise with the champ being moreso. Debra goes off to find info from Foley.

Video on Smackdown Your Vote which is a cool idea.

Debra is looking for Mick. He’s sitting on some steps and they exchange pleasantries. She gives him what appears to be candy and asks about the surprise. He won’t say but she gets an autographed copy of the book.

Christian and Edge have some weird self-help moment and both say they want to be King of the Ring. They’re both in the tournament too.

Jericho tells Cole to shut up (AMEN) and that he’s accomplished a lot, including telling Vince he is rather small. I’m assuming he meant that Vince had one and that it wasn’t a rather embarrassing announcement. Jericho says he’ll treat Austin like a sl** and that he’ll win the title. He steals a bunch of Austin catchphrases while saying this.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Bra and panties here so I’m not sure what you want me to say about it. Heyman says this is in the tradition of the Funks and the Briscos. JR says that the Briscos never had a bra and panties match, officially. I really don’t want to know some of the stories that JR has. Both of the girls look good and they can’t wrestle yet, although Trish is trying. Terri loses her top and is out there in heels. Trish loses her top and Terri stands on her hair. Oh ok Trish hadn’t lost her top yet. Perry Saturn comes out in a robe…and has lingerie on under it. The distraction lets Trish win. I think you can figure this one out for yourselves.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho

Foley’s surprise is that he’s the troubleshooting referee. He’ll be outside while there’s a regular one in the ring. Austin beats him into the corner before Jericho can even get his title off. He tries the Thesz Press but Jericho counters it into the Walls. Austin runs for the ropes and we go to the floor. Jericho gets sent into Foley and Austin goes into the steps. Back in the Lionsault hits knees and Jericho is down.

Spinebuster messes up Jericho’s ribs even more as does an elbow drop. Jericho is in trouble here as Austin is having to protect his back and ribs due to the Germans from the other Canadian on Thursday. Jericho fights out of a bow and arrow but gets kicked low. That only gets two and JR mentions that Austin wouldn’t mind getting disqualified. Why doesn’t he do that then? It can’t be that hard.

Austin yells at Foley for some reason and the distraction lets Jericho get in a low blow to shift the momentum again. They slug it out which is won by the Canadian. Missile dropkick gets two. Middle rope hurricanrana gets two. Austin ducks the forearm and Jericho takes out the referee. Foley, like an idiot, checks on the referee as Jericho hooks the Walls. Foley slides in but leaves his feet out of the ropes so Regal makes the save. Jericho and Regal get into it and Foley accidentally cracks Jericho with the chair. Regal takes Foley out and Austin only gets two! And never mind as the Stunner ends this.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match and the main event of the King of the Ring should be pretty obvious at this point. Regal coming out was pretty clear given how Foley was positioned but I think I can let that slide here. Not a great match but they needed more time and they’ve had better matches before. I can’t think of any right now so maybe they haven’t.

Regal gets the Walls and the Claw to close the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was really more about setting the stage for King of the Ring and that’s fine. The main event of course would be Austin in a triple threat with the Canadians. The idea here is that Austin can barely beat one of them so how can he beat both of them? Well considering Benoit would break his neck in the match and would be out almost a year, that might give you a hint. Anyway good stuff and the Invasion is still building.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 8, 1998
Location: Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Back for another week here as I start doing two of these in a row. That’s going to get me through these years a lot faster than I was going previously. Anyway, tonight we continue the build towards King of the Ring, probably with some more qualifying matches. Also we have Kane vs. Austin set but we need another main event for that show. Something big. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show with the Stooges. They’re all in tuxedos. This is a night of thanks according to Vinny Mac. He comes here with a heart of caring and sharing. We only know the Vince we see on TV. Tonight we’ll meet the real Vince. The fans chant for Austin and Vince says he’s here. Tonight, due to Vince giving a lot of money to charity, he’s being named Humanitarian of the Year. As his biggest humanitarian act of the year, he offers Austin an invitation.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: The Godfather vs. Ken Shamrock

He isn’t a pimp yet but he does have the hat. The Nation is thrown out. Kama (The Godfather of the Nation) jumps him immediately and hits a corner splash. Ken speeds things up and tries his rana but caught in kind of a release spinebuster. The winner of this gets Mark Henry. Shamrock grabs a leg lock but Kama gets the rope. Ken gets his ankle worked on, as in the one that Owen hurt last month. Godfather hits the ropes but gets tripped into the ankle lock for the tap. Too short to rate but this was fine.

D’Lo runs out for the beatdown but Severn makes the save. They have a qualifying match later.

The top half of the tournament is now set:

Shamrock
Henry

Jarrett
Mero

The other half gets started tonight.

DX was in New York City this week to spread the word that Summerslam was coming to MSG. They annoy some people and a cop does the Suck It sign. One good looking girl flashes them. That was uncensored on some of their tapes.

Buy this Austin shirt! It’s only 30 bucks after taxes!

Faarooq/Steve Blackman vs. Marc Mero/Jeff Jarrett

So we have KOTR Qualifying Match winners vs. losers. Better than no story. Mero and Farrooq start us off and JR incorrectly says Faarooq used to be IC Champion. Mero takes a quick spinebuster and he’s in trouble early. Off to Jarrett vs. Blackman now which is one of the most boring rivalries I’ve heard of in years. Jeff fakes him out and hits a legsweep to take over.

JR thinks there’s something up with the Humanitarian of the Year jazz. Jarrett gets two off a suplex as does Blackman off a small package. Everything breaks down and Faarooq gets a good reaction beating on Mero. Jarrett stomps on Blackman but Faarooq rams Jarrett into a distracted Mero and Blackman rolls up Jeff for the pin.

Rating: D. Blackman vs. Jarrett just did not work. I don’t know what anyone saw in it but this feud went on for like three months. Granted neither guy was interesting at all at this point as Jarrett would need to get his hair cut off by X-Pac before he became anything of note. Blackman never quite got there.

DX is still in New York. You never see this kind of stuff anymore. Everything feels so clean and structured anymore.

After a break, DX is in fact still in New York. They help a little old lady across the street and just have a good time.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Scorpio vs. Owen Hart

This should be good. Just like earlier, the Nation gets thrown out. They fight over a wristlock to start and show off a lot. Owen knocks him to the floor and JR plugs upcoming shows. Top rope shoulder by Scorpio gets two. Back to the arm as JR isn’t sure if this would be an upset or not. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two. Owen’s top rope splash hits boot and Scorpio hits a spinwheel kick for two. The moonsault misses for Scorpio and he lands on his knee. Owen works on it a bit and the Sharpshooter ends this quickly.

Rating: C. Decent enough match but they didn’t have much time to work with. Scorpio couldn’t really be himself at this point and it hurt his time in WWF a lot. That being said, he was in his mid 30s here so he was pretty much past his prime. A few years before this though, the dude was awesome. Look up his mid 90s stuff and you’ll be entertained.

Taker is here. During the break he went into Vince’s office but didn’t find him.

Darren Drozdov vs. Chainz

We get a video of how Droz got the name Puke. I’ll let you visualize that yourselves. Droz is NOT a member of the LOD. He just hangs out with them and feuds with the people they’re feuding and is in their tag matches. Ok then. Chainz takes over and it’s official: Mankind vs. Taker is Hell in a Cell. Chainz misses a middle rope elbow and Droz does the same with a corner splash, allowing Chainz to win with a Death Valley Driver. Too short to rate but it was nothing of note at all.

Here’s Taker to beat up both guys and clear the ring. He wants Vince.

After a break….nothing happens. Ok then. Vince is at his party in the break and there’s no Taker anywhere. Ok then the sequel.

Here’s DX who does their schtick and then says they have business with the DOA. Cue the Legion of Doom who wants the tag titles. Animal demands a title shot at the Outlaws. HHH surprisingly says ok. Cue the DOA to interrupt as well. HHH: “Can’t anybody cut a promo around here?” They want a title shot as well so HHH says they can all suck it. Now Slaughter comes out (how long is he going to have this job for???) and makes a three way tag for tonight.

Taker is destroying stuff in the back.

Edge is STILL coming.

Mark Henry vs. Vader

They stare it down in the middle of the ring and it’s a slugfest to start us off. Vader can’t suplex him nor can he slam him. Henry however can easily slam the Mastadon. Vader fights back and takes over with clotheslines. Now he can slam Henry. He goes up but jumps into a powerslam as Henry pounds away even more. Here’s Taker again and the match is thrown out. Too bad as that was kind of fun while it lasted. Too short to rate though.

Here’s some video from Over the Edge where Sable got fired.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Dan Severn vs. D’Lo Brown

D’Lo slaps Severn for some reason and Severn takes him down with ease. They trade grapples and Severn suplexes him with ease. The idea here is that Severn is a master on the mat but isn’t that good with striking. Severn basically squashes him and hooks something like an abdominal stretch on the mat with a leg trap for the submission. I think this led to D’Lo’s chest protector. Again, too short to rate, a running theme tonight.

Owen runs out post match and kicks Severn but Shamrock limps out for the save.

Tribute video on Sable. They make it seem like she’s dead.

Austin meets the Humanitarian guys.

Dustin Runnels vs. Val Venis

Val talks about how he and Dennis Rodman have a lot in common. He dominates the boards and Val dominates the broads. Yeah that was bad. Anyway the Attitude Era version of Rick Rude is against Runnels who is wrestling without pay. Dustin takes over and gets a BIG reaction. They go to the floor where Dustin takes over. Back in he works on the arm for a bit until Val takes over. They screw up….something as Val was supposed to clothesline him but Dustin fell to his knees instead.

Sleeper by Goldie is countered via a jawbreaker and Val pounds on him a bit. Off to a camel clutch and things slow down. An atomic drop has Val panicking which is kind of funny. Top rope clothesline gets two for Dustin. The bulldog gets two and here’s Taker AGAIN. Yeah it’s thrown out.

Rating: D. I see why Goldust was the best thing that ever happened to Dustin: he’s freaking BORING as himself. As Dustin he’s just Dusty Rhodes’ son and a tall guy from Texas. There’s no character there so Goldust actually made him interesting. Not much here but things would get interesting for these two later on.

DX sprays Doc Hendrix with Super Soakers.

Tag Titles: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

During the Outlaws’ entrance, Taker beats up Sarge in the back. HHH and Pac are on the stage with various funny signs. Just two in the ring at a time. Billy vs. Animal gets us going. Billy brings in 8-Ball quickly and oh yay it’s more DOA vs. LOD. Let’s say that’s 8-Ball beating on Road Dogg. The twins take over and you can feel the energy being sucked out of the show while they’re in there.

Roadie finally brings in Hawk who just does not look right with hair. Neckbreaker gets two on Skull. Billy comes in and the match continues to go nowhere. The challengers are back in almost immediately and Animal pounds him down. Let’s say that’s Skull. Road Dogg comes in and takes a missed low blow. Back to Animal vs. Skull. GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. Finally we get to the ending as both of the Outlaws are brought in. And then Road Dogg quickly lays down for the pin before anyone else can get in. And that’s Outlaws 101. Shouldn’t they lose the titles though as they gave up the fal?

Rating: D+. Other than the ending, this was really boring stuff. The DOA vs. LOD feud went on FOREVER and never got interesting in the slightest. They were such a clash of styles and none of them had anything interesting at all to do. Boring match but the ending showed why the Outlaws are so memorable: they couldn’t beat the challengers physically so use your brains.

About ten cops are in the back as Al Snow comes out to yell at Lawler. And then Snow gets arrested.

Time for the Humanitarian ceremony. Vince and the Stooges come out in their tuxedos again. The cops have surrounded Taker in the back. Here’s Austin as well in his gear and a black tie. Cute. A football player gives Vince a plaque, even though the amount was less than promised. It took time to clear too. Vince hasn’t come for a visit either. The football player’s favorite superstar is Austin by the way. Another football player has a plaque for Vince, although he doesn’t remember getting a check from Vince. Austin is his favorite also.

Vince says he deserves these awards as Austin looks on. Brisco is behind Austin now. JR thinks something is up. He says there’s going to be a WWF Hall of Fame too. Austin reaches into Vince’s pocket and pulls out a roll of money which he gives to the football players for the foundations. There’s a gong strike and we have druids and a coffin. With the lights out, Mankind comes from under the ring and Kane is in the casket. They throw Austin in it and shut it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show DRAGGED. It felt like it would never end, especially with all of the Taker interference. You can also tell that WWF doesn’t quite have their advertising matches down yet because on next week’s show, there’s a tag team Hell in a Cell match with the three guys at the end and Taker, but that wasn’t important enough to mention. Not a good show and it felt like it went on forever.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 1, 1998
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 16,157
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So it’s the night after Over the Edge and Austin kept the title in a great main event. That being said, now we need a new #1 contender, so let’s have a big main event to decide it. That main event: Undertaker vs. Kane. Other than that there isn’t much here but we’re on the way to King of the Ring and one of the most famous matches and moments in wrestling history. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video narrated by Vince where he says the match was fair but Dude screwed up and Austin counted the pin with Vince’s hand in an awesome ending.

Foley is in the ring in normal clothes in a chair. He says it wasn’t a good night in Dudeville last night. Foley admits that Austin beat him up last night and that he listened to the wrong people. It’s time for the Dude to apologize. If that’s accepted, he’d like to have Vince come out here. Cue Vince who has no music yet. Foley says he knows he let Vince down but due to his injuries, he’s going to be out for awhile. Hopefully though when he comes back, he’ll be #1 contender due to the match he had last night.

Vince isn’t happy and demands Foley get down on his knees. Foley says this is a joke…right? Vince says Foley is the joke, so get on your knees. Foley says his kids are watching at home so he’s not going to embarrass himself on national TV. According to Vince, he’s already an embarrassment and a failure.

Foley says Vince is failing to understand how tough Austin is. Last night, when he hit Vince in the head, deep inside, it felt pretty good. Vince says do it again if it felt so good, but remember that college fund and the new mortgage. He wants Foley to have some guts for once and Foley (split sweatpants and all) sits down. Vince hasn’t fired Austin yet because he makes Vince richer. All Foley does is make Vince sick. Foley gets fired and his music comes on.

King of the Ring qualifying matches begin tonight.

LOD 2000 says they’re ready for the street fight tonight. They’re in the back near where the cars come in. Droz throws up a lot. Chainz comes in on his bike and the twins jump the LOD.

LOD 2000 vs. Disciples of Apocolypse

This is a street fight and you can see the sky out back. There’s a referee out there for some reason and I really hope this is the blowoff. This isn’t a match at all so I’m not going to try to call it like one. Hawk swings a big metal pole at Skull but misses. They’re slowing down a lot now as you would expect. Animal goes off on 8-Ball with a trashcan. Droz and Chainz are the only ones left up and Taker arrives at the arena in street clothes and beats them both up. This was by no means a wrestling anything so no rating.

After a break, Taker (who looks REALLY fat in sweats) is looking for Vince.

Val Venis vs. Papi Chulo

Chulo is more famous as Essa Rios but his chick who would eventually appear with him is more famous as Lita. We hear about LOD being at the Rupp Arena box office for tickets for a Raw. Not only did I not hear about that appearance, I never heard about that Raw. Val says he’s not happy to see you. That’s a gun in his pocket and it doesn’t shoot blanks. Total dominance by Val to start and he hooks a camel clutch and manages to gyrate while holding it. That’s impressive.

Val beats him down as Cole mentions that Papi Chulo means Pimp Daddy. I think that would be Val’s partner eventually. JR rants about Foley being fired in public, which is almost bizarre given what would be coming for him eventually. Chulo gets a quick comeback but gets caught in a Samoan Drop. Money Shot ends this.

Rating: C-. Val was always solid in the……uh I mean he was always hard to…….he was good at getting on the ground and……HE COULD WRESTLE OK??? This was a total squash and Chulo was nothing more than a jobber at this point so this was about as predictable as it could get.

Taker walks out in street clothes and after a break part of his promo is cut off. He wants to talk about Vince. Ten years ago when he first arrived here (more like seven and a half but whatever) Vince was known as someone that would give an opportunity. He gave Taker an opportunity to be himself: to be the Undertaker. Shortly after he arrived, he became the slayer of the dragons. Vince knew Taker would be loyal so he gave him nothing but giants to face. As in the guys the handpicked champions couldn’t beat but Taker could. Taker kept the company safe for Vince and the handpicked guys.

Taker knew his time would come and then once the kingdom was safe, he got his opportunities. He’s a former two time world champion, but his times with the belt didn’t last long. Well the first one was six days so no argument there. The second was almost four and a half months. That might be a stretch. They’ve been short because Vince didn’t want him representing the company. He’s been loyal though and after all of his own handpicked guys left for greener pastures and more money (are we actually seeing a Taker “shoot”?), he had to fight his own brother.

Now whoa whoa WHOA. Now things are getting confusing which is how you can tell Russo had his hand in this. Taker has done half of this in kayfabe and half not in kayfabe. He talked about how he was loyal to the company and how others left for more money, but also how he could beat everyone else which is kayfabe. Now which are we in, because Kane of course isn’t really his brother, but based on the story he really wanted to fight Kane. Bearer had a chance to say whatever he wanted to say about Taker’s life and it was all for the sake of ratings. After all that, he never, and I quote, lost his smile.

After all that, he watched Steve Austin rise up to the top. The only thing Austin ever did was come to the ring and fight him like a man and that’s all he wanted. After everything else, right now, he demands his shot at the world title. That’s enough talking from him, so Vince needs to get out here. Vince comes out and says that before he answers that, he’s got something to say. Taker attacked him last week and came after him last night. He says Taker has all those qualities like loyalty, but what has Taker done for him lately?

Also, Bearer has said a lot of stuff and Vince wants to know if it’s true that Taker’s mom was a w****. If Taker wants to be the #1 contender, tonight he needs to defeat his opponent in the main event tonight. That opponent: Kane. Taker doesn’t look all that happy about the decision.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Marc Mero vs. Steve Blackman

Sable is gone now after losing to Mero last night. They show brackets but since this is just a qualifying match, it has no purpose on the bracket. Why not just make it a 16 man tournament and have these guys all be in it? What’s the point of showing the qualifiers on the brackets? Mero says Sable isn’t here but he has a new chick. And this was the night that the world has met the horror known as Jackie Moore.

Mero hammers away to start and this is kicking vs. boxing. He gets kicked to the floor and Jackie hugs him better. Blackman hammers on him a bit more but Jackie distracts Blackman so Mero can him him low. A Shooting Star ends this. Pretty much a squash. Sable would of course be back by the PPV. I mean she’s on the poster and all that.

Steve Austin was on a radio show earlier today. Vince called in and they hyped the show up.

Edge is still coming. Allegedly he was a Raven rip-off. I’m not sure about that but there are similarities.

D-Generation X vs. Nation of Domination

It’s the Outlaws/HHH vs. Owen/Henry/Rock and this is elimination rules. DX does a quick promo before the match which is nothing special. All of the seconds get sent to the back. HHH vs. D’lo starts us off. Off to Roadie who gets caught in a spinebuster for two. Gunn comes in and hits a quick piledriver to get rid of Brown. Rock comes in and DX isn’t sure what to do. Rock Bottom takes out Road Dogg and it’s tied up. Those two eliminations took about two minutes total.

The leaders go at it for a bit but it’s quickly back to Billy. A blind tag brings in Owen with a missile dropkick for two. Billy misses a splash and a spinwheel kick makes it Owen/Rock vs. HHH. Chyna comes out because Slaughter has no authority at all apparently. After a break Chyna is on the floor as Rock is hammering on HHH. Owen comes in and hits a long middle rope elbow for two.

The future Game gets a sunset flip but Rock has the referee distracted. Rock beats him down and the People’s Elbow gets two and a big reaction. I think they knew they had struck pure gold with Rock but they were seasoning him a bit first. Owen argues with Chyna as HHH counters a Rock Bottom into a quick Pedigree for the pin and it’s one on one. And never mind as Owen hits a spinwheel kick but Shamrock returns to beat down Owen, giving the Nation the win.

Rating: C. Nothing great and the ending hurt it but this was fine. What I really want you to notice is how HHH and Rock were not rushed. They had a summer long rivalry that culminated in a big gimmick match at Summerslam. Instead of just appearing and suddenly winning a briefcase or something and being thrown into the world title picture, they were slowly seasoned and allowed to get a lot bigger over time. That’s just forgotten in today’s product.

Severn runs out to help Shamrock fight the Nation and they stare it down but Severn leaves. HHH punches Shamrock because he cost DX the match so they have a pull apart brawl. I don’t remember that going anywhere.

Vince and Kane shake hands in the back.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Farrooq

Please….get rid of Tennessee Lee already. I can’t take much more of him. Before the match, the Godwinns are introduced as Southern Justice who are Jarrett’s lackeys now. Farrooq starts off fast and shrugs off the punches from Jarrett. The fans want Flair I think. I don’t think I heard that right because it would be very random to chant that. Farrooq beats on him even more and gets two. Southern Justice gets involved and Lee gives Jarrett a belt to whack Farrooq with for the pin. This was nothing, again.

Video on how Vince is a charitable sort of fellow.

Light Heavyweight Title: Taka Michinoku vs. Sho Funaki

The match starts immediately and Taka hits a HUGE dive to take Funaki out in the aisle. Back in and Taka’s tornado DDT is countered as Funaki takes over. Another Kai En Tai member gets involved so Taka snaps off a moonsault to the floor to take them both out. Al Snow is disguised as a Japanese photographer. The other photographers take pictures of him. Funaki takes over with a fisherman’s buster but a top rope elbow misses. A missile dropkick to the back and the Michinoku Driver keeps the title on Taka….again.

Paul Bearer is very confident in Kane.

Al Snow yells at Head.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Terry Funk

Vince is on commentary so he won’t miss Taker vs. Kane. JR says this is a contrast of styles. Now there’s an understatement. Terry tries to pound on him but a big clothesline puts him down. Out to the floor where Funk’s back goes into the post. Funk manages to send him into the steps and gets a chair. In a SCARY sight, Terry tries an Asai Moonsault but lands on the railing. If there’s a way to fake that I’d love to know what it is. In the ring a splash gets two. A slam and legdrop get two, brother. Funk grabs a small package for two so Henry powerbombs him and splashes him again, finally getting the pin.

Rating: C+. WAY more entertaining than you would have expected it to be. It’s not a great match or anything but Terry is an absolute master at drawing sympathy and making you think that he just might somehow be able to pull off the huge upset. Very fun match even though it only lasted four minutes or so.

Austin is coming and Vince does the face.

After a break here’s the champ who also jumps in on commentary.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Winner gets Austin at King of the Ring. Vince again proves how much of a master he is at promoting stuff as he talks about how big this is going to be. Taker sends the referee out immediately and it’s a brawl. They go to the floor and Taker gets in some shots on Paul. Old School hits but Kane hits a chokeslam for no cover. They’ve been going a hundred miles an hour the whole time.

After a brief thing on the floor they’re back in with Kane in control. They slug it out and Kane pounds away on him. There’s an energy to them here and it’s making this a lot better. Kane hits a big boot but misses an elbow. Taker grabs a chokeslam but Kane pops up. Taker even busts out a Russian Legsweep and legdrop for two. There goes the referee as Taker hits the Tombstone but there’s no referee.

The fired Mick Foley runs out onto the apron and grabs the Mandible Claw on Taker. Foley has the Mankind mask on again. Taker knocks Kane down again but Kane sits up. He takes his eyes off Kane for a split second to punch Bearer and that’s enough for a Tombstone to send Kane to King of the Ring.

Rating: B-. WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY NOT DO THIS AT WRESTLEMANIA??? This was exactly what Undertaker vs. Kane should be: an all out brawl. They never stopped going in this and it made for a much better match. Kane is supposed to be this outcast that was raised all alone and Taker is to blame for it, so would you expect him to use a chinlock? Of course not. He should be out for blood and he was here. Very fun match.

Kane stares Austin down and makes the sign of a belt around his waist which Austin says will never happen. The fires comes off the posts and Austin doesn’t flinch. Kane leaves and Foley fights Taker to end the show. JR: “They’ll have to settle this feud.” That’s an understatement.

Overall Rating: C+. Other than the DX/Nation stuff and the AWESOME last segment and the surprisingly good Henry vs. Funk match, there was pretty much nothing here. That’s kind of the Attitude Era in a nutshell: the show is usually nothing great but the stuff that is good is so good that it’s all you remember. This set up the main events of King of the Ring really well and that’s the entire point.

On a related note, starting now I’ll be doing two Raws from 98 and 01 in a row. It’s taken me over a year to get to June of both series and I don’t want to spend two years reviewing two years of Raw.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2001
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a request from someone. Either way it’s a Raw from 2001 post Alliance which makes it automatically better than the previous show. Tonight the main event is RVD vs. Jericho for the Undisputed Title. Other than that I don’t know much about this show at all and I’m not sure why it was requested that this was reviewed. It’s post Armageddon so Jericho is world champion.  Let’s get to it.

Matt Hardy is in WWF New York drinking. Make your own jokes.

Hardcore Title: Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy

Taker is champion and has short hair here. He’s recently heel but is still Rollin. He’s booed out of the building….I think. Taker decks him before the bell rings and demands respect. Jeff hammers away and manages to dropkick Taker to the floor. A big dive to the floor hits railing though and Taker takes over again. Matt and Lita have broken up for some reason. This is total dominance by Taker. There’s the Last Ride and it gets a face pop. Lita goes up and Taker just glares at her. That gets rid of her and Jeff is done quick.

Rating: D. No idea what was up with the squashification here. I know Taker was far bigger than Jeff as Jeff was still a Hardy Boy here but maybe I’m just looking at it with almost 2012 eyes. Not much here but it made Taker look awesome….which goes against the idea of his heel turn but this was a bad year as far as common sense for WWF.

Taker carries Jeff to the back for no apparent reason. Oh wait he stops on the stage and lays Jeff down, then powerbombs him off the stage. Here’s one for Lita as well but she kicks him low. It doesn’t work but nice try. She gets tossed as well and Matt panics in WWF New York. Gee maybe you should have been here. Matt would get hurt on Smackdown and I don’t think they were back until the Rumble.

Matt calls to the arena and tries to find out about Lita.

Here’s Vince to talk about Austin. They don’t like each other anymore and the WHAT chants have recently debuted. We get a clip from Smackdown where Vince started a small fire and one of the fireman was Austin who beat up Booker T and Vince. This led to the AWESOME grocery store fight which was one of the first things I looked for upon discovering the wonders of Youtube. I may need to go back to that for pure nostalgia.

He demands Austin come out here and here’s Austin with the WHAT shirt. Vince yells at the fans that he hates the WHAT stuff and yeah heels are idiots in wrestling. Vince wants an apology and Austin is incensed. He says he took Booker on a shopping spree and lists off things that he gave Booker, saying it was a favor. He was calm, cool and collected. Austin lists off things he ate today and the chants just get louder and louder. He also had 9 beers and a Bloody Mary. This was one of Austin’s lasts gasps of charisma and it still works. Austin untucks his shirt but Booker saves Vince.

He pops up on the Tron and is next to Austin’s truck. Booker already took it for a joy ride and talks about the beating in the grocery store. The truck gets destroyed with some metal object and Austin goes after him.

During the break, Booker bailed as Austin got to the back. Austin chased after him in the beaten up truck.

Tag Titles: Albert/Scott 2 Hotty vs. Dudley Boys

Two guesses as to who has the titles here. Good night I could look at Dudleyville Stacy all day. D-Von vs. Scotty gets us going. Bubba distracts him and the champions take over. Double flapjack looks to kill Scotty and this is totally one sided. Off to Bubba who takes a superkick and it’s off to Albert. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo here and after a dance it’s a Giant Swing to D-Von. Missile dropkick from Scotty takes down Bubba and the Worm gets two. Stacy takes her boot off but Albert kisses her down. 3D ends Scotty.

Rating: D. Total squash here as I don’t think even Scotty’s grandmother thought he had a chance here. Any match with Stacy in that outfit can be called a failure but other than that there was nothing here at all. They had nothing else to do with the titles at this point as the great three way feud was long since done by this point.

Booker is on the phone with Austin and is hiding in a church. Vince: “Say what?” How nice of Vince to leave the speakerphone on for us. Booker is about to play Bingo. I remember this show.

Russ Haas, Charlie’s brother and a WWF developmental guy, passed away.

European Title: Christian vs. Tazz

Christian chokes Tazz with Tazz’s towel and punches in the corner. Tazz hooks two suplexes but the Tazmission is countered into the Unprettier for the quick pin. There was a low blow in there somewhere. Total squash. Tazz would get a quick tag title run in January and then retired in like April. He hooks a Tazmission after the match but no one cares.

Gregory Helms talks to Ric Flair about Tazz but Lance Storm pops up to beg for a job. Flair freaks out on him like only Ric Flair can do. If Storm wins tonight Flair will ruin Storm’s life. His match is against the Rock. Flair was a boss at this point.

Vote for the match of the year that will air on New Year’s Eve!

RVD is getting ready and Vince tries to suck up to him and get RVD to work for him if he wins the title. RVD isn’t pleased with the idea but never stops smiling. Vince wants Jericho to win now. He’ll be doing commentary.

Booker plays Bingo. He doesn’t win so he starts a small ruckus. Then he switches cards with some old woman in an attempt to cheat. Now Austin is calling the numbers and Booker runs. Booker’s card would have won.

After a break Booker is still in the church and this is like something out of a WWE Pictures movie. He hides in a pew then behind the pulpit. You know, if he wouldn’t pop his head out every 8 seconds, the hiding spaces might work. Now he pretends to be a statue. None of this is funny in case you’re wondering. Booker hides in a closet and oh man I think I know where this is going.

The Rock vs. Lance Storm

If Storm wins, he gets his job back. They fight over a hammerlock and then Rock kills him with a clothesline. Out to the floor and Rock jumps in on commentary. He says Lance is trying to get his job back but reads a paper which is a list of possible jobs. The best one though is to go back to getting beaten all over Cajun Country. See how that works? He did something out of the norm which happened to be funny and it worked.

Back in, Storm accidentally kicks the referee. Sharpshooter by Rock gets a tap but here’s Test to break it up. A big boot gets two for Storm. Rock hits the spinebuster but goes after Test and gets counted out. Well they had to do something with Storm and it’s not like they were going to have him pin Rock.

Rating: D. This was nothing and is there really any point in it being Rock in the first place? I mean, there was NO ONE but Rock that could do this? I mean….HE’S THE ROCK. They couldn’t have it be like a handicap against the APA or something stupid like that? Kane maybe? I don’t get it.

Rock gets in Rock Bottom position post match but doesn’t attack. Instead he shakes his hand, and THEN Rock Bottoms him. Kind of a jerk no? Rock was the one that lost his focus and got beat.

Back at the church and a woman walks into the same closet. And yes it’s a confessional. The girl admits she’s cheated on her husband with her husband’s brother and his best friend. Booker wants details and apparently there was alcohol and a video camera involved. She’s instructed to do 18 Hail Marys and send him the tape. This is going to end badly isn’t it?

Here’s Jericho to talk. He talks about beating Rock and Austin in one night. To be fair, that was less than three weeks before this so it was brand new. There’s no reason for RVD to get a title shot tonight says he. RVD cheated to beat him on Thursday and he has footage to prove it. Van Dam used a chair so he shouldn’t get a title shot. He demands Flair reverse the decision from Thursday and cancel the match tonight.

Cue Flair who says no. Jericho brought the chair into the ring and RVD used it. All Flair saw was Van Dam get the pin so he’s #1 contender. Jericho gets in Flair’s face and says Flair wishes he was someone else for once. Flair doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring with him, WOO! He accuses Flair of having a midlife crisis. Flair: “I HAD THAT TEN YEARS AGO!” Somehow this turns into Flair refereeing the main event tonight. See, something like this is perfect for Flair: being the boss, talking about how great things can be, and maybe refereeing a match or something like that. He’d be perfect for something like that today.

Edge/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Test

Edge and Angle are on the verge of a mega feud and Edge is on the verge of a mega push. He’s IC Champion here. This was supposed to be Regal instead of Test but Edge hurt him. Angle had a really bad rock remix of his song here. It sounds like a half breed between his music and the late 90s Big Bossman song. Angle vs. Rikishi starts us off. Kurt avoids a quick Stinkface and spins Rikishi inside out with a clothesline. Edge comes in with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. Spear to Test but the Angle Slam pins Edge. This was nothing.

Rikishi starts to clean house but gets beaten down. Rock makes the save and Test gets a Stinkface.

HHH returns January 7. The song playing over his video: Beautiful Day by U2. That’s an…odd choice.

Test is in the back and Cole annoys him so Canada gets its revenge on Cole. By that I mean a really awkward shove.

Big Show/Tajiri vs. Billy/Chuck

Torrie is with Tajiri here and is Cruiserweight Champion. Billy and Chuck aren’t gay yet. Chuck pounds on Tajiri to start but Tajiri gets a BIG kick in the corner for two. Jerry: “Did you tell Torrie I had a mirror over my bed?” JR: “HOW WOULD I KNOW YOU HAVE A MIRROR OVER YOUR BED???” Well I thought it was funny. LAUGH MONKEYS! Billy beats on Tajiri a bit and the heels double team. Tajiri hits a big kick and it’s off to Show. Tarantula to Billy but Show kind of gets kicked by Chuck. The handspring elbow hits Torrie and Billy hits a flapjack for the pin. This was again, nothing.

A guy confesses to Booker that he ate too much dessert. Booker isn’t pleased and throws him out. Here’s Austin to confess and Booker runs some more.

After a break, Booker and Austin run in front of some nuns. They need a ride to an orphanage and Booker uses the chance to escape. Austin runs into a priest who wants to hear Austin’s confession. Ok then. And yes, that’s it.

Flair offers to teach Van Dam the Figure Four.

WWF World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Vince does Jericho’s intro. Van Dam isn’t One of a Kind yet. Jericho grabs the arm to start. Van Dam sends him to the floor and hits a dive as America takes over on Canada. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two. Jericho hooks a chinlock as Vince is in full heel mode here. Lionsault misses but a quick clothesline gets two for the champion. Van Dam gets a rolling sunset flip out of the corner for what might have been a faster two.

Vince praises Jericho the whole match and talks about how awesome he is. This has been almost all Jericho, and to be fair he’s world champion so it probably should be. A spin kick takes Chris down and a flip attack off the top gets two. A standing rana is countered into the Walls which of course isn’t the finish. Flair and Jericho get in a fight and Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star but Vince pulls Flair out and a it’s thrown out I guess.

Rating: C. Just an ok match here because the focus was on Flair and Vince. The ending was stupid but this was a pretty stupid Raw overall. The ending had the fans buying something might be up but it was pretty clear what Vince was going to do. Not much here but I’ve seen far worse.

The good guys put the bad guys in Figure Fours to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that pleased with this one. Van Dam’s push went nowhere other than right back into the midcard while Vince vs. Flair resulted in the return of the NWO for no apparent reason. Not much here and the Booker vs. Austin stuff wasn’t funny, which I’m sure they didn’t care about so what difference does it make? Not a very good show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 26, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s solid show, we close out the year with this one. There are still five weeks before the Rumble so they could easily burn another show here and things would still be fine. It should be interesting to see where they go here because there really aren’t any matches set up for the PPV, other than maybe Ziggler vs. Ryder II. Other than that there isn’t anything really clear. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk….and never mind as it’s Ace coming out to his music and in a Punk shirt. He says it’s a microcosm of the unpredictability that you’ve gotten under his leadership. The future begins tonight and here’s Punk. After a loud chant for him, he says that if he didn’t know any better, Ace is trying to antagonize him. Why shouldn’t Punk just kick him in the face right now? Ace says he can’t because he’ll get fired.

Tonight, Punk has the night off. Oh and he’s kidding again. Tonight Punk is wrestling up to three times in a gauntlet match. If any of them beats him, that person gets a title shot next week. Punk wants to know what happens if he wins all three matches. Ace doesn’t know, so Punk suggests he gets a shot at Ace if he does. Ace eventually agrees. Punk’s posing is cut off by the latest video. It says he is coming and that he’ll reclaim what is his. The words this time are The End Begins Next Monday.

Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title here. Cole and Jerry has an actual lighthearted argument over who sang Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Hiptoss gives Booker an early advantage and a slam gets two. Snap suplex gets one. Axe kick misses though and Rhodes takes over with a neckbreaker. Out to the floor goes Booker and we take a break. Back with Booker taking over. He spins into the corner though and an elbow takes him down. Off to a crossface chickenwing

Clothesline gets two for Cody. The fans of course chant for Booker and Cody is getting frustrated. Booker fights back and it’s boo/yay tonight. Cody dropkicks him down and works the arm. Camel clutch goes on and Booker gets sent into the corner. He gets his feet up though and looks like he needs oxygen. Side slam gets two. The Jack Brisco sunset flip doesn’t look that good as it gets two. Rollup gets two for Cody. The Beautiful Disaster looks to have been short and it gets two. Cross Rhodes is countered but the side kick misses. The axe kick hits though and it gets the clean pin at 12:06.

Rating: C. The sloppiness hurt it and I’m not sure I like the idea of Cody losing clean. Booker looked kind of old here, but it’s what, his fourth match this year? Not bad and I guess the rematch is coming at the Rumble? Also the booking isn’t bad as he lost when he got beaten down before the match but wins when it’s even. That’s not as bad.

Ryder tells Cena that he owes Cena for everything. Cena says no, you don’t. Everything was Ryder getting here on his own. Cena is going a-Kane hunting though.

Jerry got a note saying that we’ll learn the three opponents for Ace soon. Oh ok he’s going to announce them. The three opponents are Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Mark Henry.

Kelly has some weird flirting moment with Show when a referee says he’s needed elsewhere.

Ace says Brodus is debuting next week on Raw. Show comes in and Ace talks about Otunga jumping him last week. Otunga says that’s a lawsuit and Show says he can beat Otunga with an arm behind his back.

Swagger and Ziggler trade insults when Vickie comes in and says it doesn’t matter who gets the show. Henry comes in and says excuse me. Ok then.

Eve Torres/Zack Ryder vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

….seriously? This is kind of a step down for Ryder isn’t it? Eh well he was getting over and he wasn’t in the original WWE plans so you know they’re not going to be happy with it. Cole says that July 23rd will be the 1000th episode of Raw. Oh my that could be BAD. The guys start and nothing happens so it’s off to the chicks. Eve does her dancing moonsault and it’s back to the guys. We get stereo Broski Boots and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:00. No idea why Ryder was in this.

Here’s Cena who isn’t well received by the fans. He acknowledges that the fans aren’t happy with him and there’s a Cena Sucks chant. Cena talks about how there’s magic in this building in the form of three Wrestlemanias. Chicago inducted Eddie Guerrero into the Hall of Fame, which draws an Eddie chant. Also, right here in this building, CM Punk beat him for the WWE Championship.

New York is considered the capital of the WWE, but after seeing another show like this here in Chicago, he’s not sure about that. Cena has somehow gotten the Chicago crowd on his side. Right now though, he’s going to call out Kane. Cue Miz instead. Miz wants to face him right now because the win at Mania was tainted. Miz wants Rock to beat Cena and tonight he wants the last image of 2011 to be him standing tall over Cena. Cena wants Miz to shut up and wash the tan off his body. Get a referee out here right now and let’s do it.

John Cena vs. The Miz

The fan that catches Cena’s shirt won’t throw it back. Good, he’d be stupid to do so. Cena controls early with a headlock and the fans are split on him. That’s a step up for him in Chicago. Miz heads to the floor and grabs a mic. The fans are chanting for the wrong person so he’s out of here. It’s a countout at 2:30, most of which happened during Miz ranting against Chicago.

Miz sets for his catchphrase and here’s R-Truth for the on the floor brawl. So I guess Truth is face again. He destroys Miz and says he could finish Miz right now, but there’s no fun in that. It’s like Christmas: once you open the presents, it’s all over. Every Monday Night should be like Christmas, so he’s going to take his time getting to Miz, because Little Jimmy says it’s ok. Truth hits him with a water bottle to end this.

Kane is officially here.

Big Show vs. David Otunga

Show must have an arm tied behind his back. It’s the right arm too so there’s no knockout punch or chokeslam. He’ll be at the relentless mercy of the offense of DAVID OTUNGA. Otunga gets sent to the floor and here’s Mark Henry. The match is officially thrown out at 2:00 despite Henry not touching him.

Henry clotheslines him down and here’s Bryan to distract show. He runs and Henry gets the arm loose. Otunga breaks up a chokeslam and takes it himself. Show officially wins by DQ. HENRY NEVER TOUCHED HIM!!!!

Here’s Del Rio but in a wheelchair. Ricardo, in a neckbrace, does the intro anyway. Jerry makes me laugh by giving us the information of the wheelchair, which is valued at about $200! Del Rio confirms the true rumor that he tore his groin last week. He says he’ll be back and here are the Bellas to berate the crowd. One of them says they’ll throw a party in his honor. It’s Nikki apparently. They get in an argument over who gets to throw the party so Alberto yells at them. He throws them out and blast it as they were looking good tonight. His New Year’s Resolution is that he’ll be champion again.

CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry

It’s a gauntlet match and if someone beats Punk, they get a title shot next week. If Punk sweeps it, he gets a match with Ace, presumably tonight. The opponents are in the order listed so Swagger is up first. Swagger hooks a test of strength but Punk stays on his head to keep from going down. Here come the kicks but Jack comes back with a gutbuster to take over.

Punk tries a cross body off the top but Swagger (almost) catches him in another gutbuster for two. At least he has a strategy. He sets for the Vader Bomb but Punk jumps up and catches him in the GTS position. That doesn’t work so Punk kicks him in the head for the pin at 3:27. Here’s Ziggler next but Swagger takes out the knee almost immediately before the bell.

Punk says he can go and we take a break. Back with Ziggler working on the knee. Sweet dropkick gets two for Dolph. Punk fights back with a slingshot and tries a neckbreaker but Dolph goes back to the leg. Off to a half crab which lasts awhile. Punk fights back and the knee isn’t hurting so much now.

Using the good leg he fires off some kicks to the back and a big kick to the head for two. Fameasser is blocked and there’s the running knee in the corner. Vickie breaks up the GTS and the Fameasser hits this time for two. Cue Johnny Ace who ejects Vickie and Swagger. This is happening while Punk has Ziggler covered. The distraction lets the Zig Zag end Punk at 13:27.

Rating: C+. This was the ending I expected actually. It seemed too easy to go the way it was looking. Ziggler vs. Punk could be awesome if they give it enough time, which they probably won’t. Decent stuff here though and it’s good to see Dolph getting a chance to headline a Raw as he’s earned so far.

Here’s Kane to end the show. He talks about how the mask is his real face and everyone else is hiding. Cue Cena but Kane throws up a wall of fire to stop him. Kane says Cena is his target because Cena preaches to rise above hate. This world is a dark place and people should hate. Everyone hates, so why rise above it? He says that there’s hatred in Cena but he’s hiding from it. There’s a Cena chant. In Chicago. Man that’s scary.

Kane talks about how Cena will be free once he embraces the hate. Now the chant is dueling so the world is more correct. The people are going to help Cena embrace his hate. The last thing Cena will hear is them chanting Cena sucks. Kane needs some lessons from the Spirit Squad because they don’t go along with Kane’s idea. There’s a mild dueling chant and Cena has to overact and make it seem like it was deafining. He hangs his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I wasn’t so huge on this show. There’s some ok stuff in here but the show felt like other than the beginning, there was a lot of stuff just thrown in there with no real thinking behind it. I liked the ending as we got a reasonable (by Kane’s standards) explanation of why he’s going after Cena. Dolph vs. Punk should be good and that’s what they’re shooting for here, which is ok. Not a terrible show but kind of weak.

Results
Booker T b. Cody Rhodes – Axe Kick
Zack Ryder/Eve Torres b. Tyson Kidd/Natalya – Rough Ryder to Kidd
John Cena b. The Miz via countout
Big Show b. David Otunga via DQ when Mark Henry interfered
Dolph Ziggler b. CM Punk – Zig Zag

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