Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a three hour show and billed as WWE All-Stars.  The guest GM for the night is Steve Austin so expect some extra fans to be brought in because of him.  It’s also the final show before Capitol Punishment so the final push towards that should happen tonight.  Cena and Truth will probably interact a good deal tonight which should be entertaining.  Let’s get to it.

Cena vs. Punk in the main event.  Oh joy.  The graphics are from the All-Stars game.

Here’s Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual.  Miz says he’s the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week.  Then again you would have to be a moron to know that.  You know, like Alex Riley.  The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001.  No it wasn’t but we’ll let that slide.

Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up there’s Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight.  Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is.  Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things.  The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.

Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil.  Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say.  Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that he’s got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday.  Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no.  Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling.  Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.

Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows what’s good for him he’ll get out of here right now.  Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that it’s not Miz’s time to be a hero.  Miz finally leaves to solid heat.  Here’s Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again.  Del Rio does his usual intro and says it’s time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.

He talks about destiny of course and Austin isn’t all that impressed.  He says he’s not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future.  Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rio’s skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.

Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio

The bell is after the break.  Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two.  Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm.  Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands.  Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but can’t hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope.  Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50.  Not much at all here.

Alberto still won’t let go and here’s Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto.  Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo.  Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go.  Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.

Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.

Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan

They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start.  Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes.  The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus.  Cole keeps ignoring Lawler’s jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved.  Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan.  Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.

Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me.  They’re so basic but they look good and convincing.  Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save.  Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them.  Jackson takes Barrett down again and here’s Cara.  Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45.  Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.

Rating: C. Pretty basic here and they kept Cara out of the ring on a live show which more or less can’t be a bad thing at all.  He needs an actual story rather than just going out there and doing random high spots.  Either way, this was fine for what it was, which was just a way to get the Smackdown midcard on the show.

Back and here’s Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon.  And here’s R-Truth to end that.  They’re all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently.  He wants to try but he’s going to become the new champion on Sunday.  Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesn’t work.  Truth grabs him and….hugs him.  Ok then.  Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Awesome!  Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and here’s Austin on the big screen.  Truth has a match later with John Morrison!  He’s back!  Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves.  Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy.  Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner.  Not that any of them hit but he’s trying at least.  Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two.  Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.

Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline.  High Cross doesn’t work and he loads up the Cobra.  Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra!  Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50.  Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.

Orton is up next.

We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.

Here’s Orton to a fairly tame reaction.  And Orton’s mic doesn’t work.  He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk.  He won’t punt him or try an RKO.  All he wants to do is talk.  Orton says don’t make him come back there.  He might go to the papers otherwise.

Christian pops up on the screen and says he’s earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him.  He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here.  The fans cheer, so of course he’s not coming.  Orton says Edge isn’t here which is a shame.  Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.

That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt.  Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp.  Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save.  There’s an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently.  He won’t wrestle tonight so the GM says go home.  If Orton doesn’t chill he’s stripped of the title.  Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves.  It wasn’t a big charge so it’s ok I guess.  Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.

Christian vs. Rey Mysterio

Booker jumps in on commentary here.  Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday.  Haven’t we seen that a lot recently?  I guess that’s the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense.  Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors.  And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over.  Off to the chinlock which doesn’t last long.  Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up.  Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey….and it’s a DQ?  The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that?  I’d bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all.  Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk.  Rey dives on him instead and here’s Nexus.  Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down.  619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker.  Killswitch leaves Rey laying.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because the majority of it was in the commercial.  I’d bet on this being a mistake.  Either that or this was really stupid booking.  It felt so completely random and the post match stuff seemed like they were trying to fill in time.  I don’t get this at all but it wasn’t that bad.  I guess they want to protect both guys which makes sense at least.

Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up.  She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday.  Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate.  Dolph doesn’t want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him.  Austin says he’s just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises.  So are they split up or not?

R-Truth vs. John Morrison

We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth.  And there’s no Morrison.  The music plays again and there’s no Morrison.  Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself.  Truth says he’ll bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back.  To the back we go and someone is out cold.  SHAZAM!  It’s Morrison, still down and holding his neck.  Maybe he’s not back yet.  Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match.  Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case.  Truth has the funniest psycho face you’ll ever see as we go to break.

Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.

Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston

No pyro for Swagger’s pushups.  Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess they’re still together.  Dolph and Kofi start us off.  Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow it’s Dolph getting the cover.  Odd indeed.  Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two.  Vader Bomb misses though and it’s off to Bourne.

Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but there’s the ankle lock.  Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot.  Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger.  Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55.  Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.

Back and it’s time for Piper’s Pit.  Yep, Piper is drunk.  Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring.  Here’s Miz to say really.  Miz says he’s the next Piper, Piper says there’s never going to be another Roddy Piper.  Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least he’s been WWE Champion.  He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live.  Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World.  Piper says let’s talk about the future, like this Sunday.  Here’s Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend.  Piper says that gave him self respect.  Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.

Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first?  Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about.  “Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS!”  That was great.  Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME.  Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now.  Miz says he’ll put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now.  Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000?  Austin pops up and says do it.  Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee.  Hilarious as well as good segment here.

Roddy Piper vs. The Miz

Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes.  Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper.  Riley pulls him off and here they go.  Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.

Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn

If this goes past two minutes I’ll be stunned.  Kelly and Brie start but it’s off to Melina or Rosa and there’s the big brawl almost immediately.  Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and we’re done at 1:25.  Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.

Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night.  They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks.  This was totally pointless.

We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him.  Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer.  Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy.  Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer.  They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol.  Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer.  Punk: “Can you say the alphabet backwards?”  Austin: “I can whip you backwards.”  Huge pop for that.  No Nexus at ringside tonight.

Here’s Austin for a major announcement.  He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail.  Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it.  Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end.  The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw.  Austin’s watch says there’s some time left so as of right now he’s still the GM.

Next week Austin won’t be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week it’s all about the power of the people.  They’ll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewer’s Choice from when Bret was GM last year.  The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off.  DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER!  He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving.  Oh wait he’s back to have some beers.

Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing.  This one is Smackdown themed.  The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

There’s a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time.  Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance.  This is the first time we’ve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but it’s mainly booing.  The dueling chants are going strong quickly.  Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere.  Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and it’s a stalemate.  Cena tries the fisherman’s suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a break.

Back with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch.  Oh and Cole is back on commentary.  Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe.  Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he can’t make it last as Punk gets the rope.  Leg lariat gets two for Punk.

Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner.  Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence.  He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor.  Why don’t more people get that?  Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down.  Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but here’s Truth to annoy a fan.  He offers a sip of water for the fan’s hat.  The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B. Good match here for the most part with Punk finally getting the pin that he’s never gotten (I don’t think at least) over Cena.  His reaction post match helped it a lot as he looked like he was a kid on Christmas morning.  Good stuff here between two guys that definitely have chemistry together.

Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t great to say the least but it wasn’t too bad.  It certainly drags at times and I really don’t get the point of the All-Stars aspect, but they needed something to fill in the Draft show that they were probably scheduled to have here.  Not horrible but at the same time there really was no need to make this a three hour show.  I’ve seen worse though, and they pushed the PPV a lot.  Not terrible, but really nothing all that great.

Results

Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldn’t break the cross armbreaker

Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes – Springboard Crossbody to Barrett

Sheamus b. Santino Marella – Texas Cloverleaf

Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler – Air Bourne to Swagger

Roddy Piper b. The Miz – Schoolboy

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina – K2 to Mendes

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 6, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Things are a little different tonight as it’s not only Raw but also the Tough Enough finale which is going to delay the start of the main show just a bit.  It’s time for more build to Capitol Punishment as we’ll likely get fallout from last week’s Cena vs. Truth match, probably building to a rematch at the PPV.  Other than that there isn’t much known already.  Let’s get to it.

After Andy won Tough Enough and got drilled by Vince (who said he would have picked the other guy) and Stunned by Austin in one of the weirdest welcome to the jobs you’ll ever see we’re ready to go.

The show opens with Austin and Vince in the ring having some beers to open the show, here’s Truth in a Confederate Army uniform marching to the ring to the tune of When the Saints Come Marching In and singing about Little Jimmy marching in.  We get a clip of last week where Truth threw soda on a fan.  He apologizes to Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy and to the refreshing soda.

Truth doesn’t like being in the south and says that the Confederacy didn’t do anything right other than seceding from the Union.  Tonight he’s seceding from the WWE, but he’s keeping the title shot.  He talks about the conspiracy against him and asks Vince about it.  Vince asks if Truth’s real first name is R and says he should come visit him during his office hours.  Is this college all of a sudden?

Here’s Miz, saying he deserves a final title shot.  Riley comes out and doesn’t say much before Cena comes out also.  Cena says that everyone here is out of or for something, be it Miz being out of opportunities for the title, Riley being out for vengeance, Austin being out of beer or Truth being out of his mind.  Cena respects Riley and tells Truth to get rid of the uniform because he already has his PPV title shot.  We get an E-Mail but Vince cuts him off, saying that it’s Cena/Riley vs. Miz/Truth with Austin as referee.  Absolutely hilarious opening segment, namely due to Truth being insane.

Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty

Neither guy gets an intro here.  McGillicutty yells at the crowd to zero reaction but Santino gets a nice pop.  Marella sends him into the corners and knocks him over the top with a clothesline.  He actually channels the Warrior with the rope shake and the gorilla press sign.  Cobra doesn’t work and McGillicutty takes over a bit.  Santino fires back and hits the saluting headbutt so he can do the Warrior press sign again.  Vlad runs over Otunga and the McGillicutter misses.  Cobra ends this clean at 4:35.

Rating: D+. This was a bit awkward and didn’t work all that well.  I’m not sure why this was on Raw but I guess it was to give us something a bit weaker after that very high powered opening.  Santino is still rather popular with his same old stuff but if it’s working why change it?  Not much here though as the wrestling was a bit off but maybe that’s why these two are in tag teams.

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix vs. Bella Twins

Hokey smoke two matches with no commercials?  When do you EVER see this?  Well close enough at least as they go to commercial before the Bellas’ entrances.  Nice idea though.  After the break we get a clip of the Bellas making fun of Kharma for being pregnant.  Kelly starts as Cole talks about the Bellas’ Twitter.  Kelly gets beaten down by both twins while Beth plays cheerleader.

Off to the bow and arrow hold.  Jerry calls Kelly the milk to his cookies.  I really don’t want to think about Lawler’s cookies.  Off to Beth who cleans house on let’s say Brie.  We go way old school with a Tully Blanchard slingshot suplex for two.  Everything breaks down and there’s the Glam Slam for the pin at 2:26.  Good to see them making Beth look like a monster again.

Booker and Trish are in the back and Booker offers to give Trish a secret move: the Trisharooni.  He starts teaching her and Jack Swagger comes up to challenge Booker.  He says cool and it’s on for tonight.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Didn’t we see this last week?  Punk sits down on the stage and says that this next match is to prove that Nexus is still strong.  The match starts next.  Here we go and Punk tries a big kick to start.  Doesn’t actually connect but it looked good.  Off to the mat and Punk works on the wrist.  Rey speeds things up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll.  Monkey flip sends Punk to the floor and Rey adds a headscissors to take Punk down.

Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two.  Punk fires back with his strikes but Rey escapes over the top.  He goes up but gets kicked down into the Tree of Woe.  Running knee to the exposed stomach gets two.  Belly to back gets two and it’s off to a body scissors by Punk.  Rey is sent spine first into the post and it’s time for a superplex.  Rey knocks him off and hits I guess you would call it a flipping attack to take Punk down.  He just kind of dove at him and rolled forward.

Rey starts his comeback and hits the springboard cross body for two.  A headscissors takes Punk down but he grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two.  Ryan blocks the 619 so Rey gets a semi-botched but still good looking tornado DDT while kicking Ryan down to the floor at the same time.  Top rope splash ends this at 8:40.

Rating: B-. These two have undeniable chemistry in the ring and it showed again here.  They almost always have a solid match and while this wasn’t quite as good of a match as they’ve had before, it was certainly fine for about a 9 minute match on Raw.  Good stuff here, as expected from these two.

New presidential press conference video with Truth being insane.  When you can almost save one of these things, that’s a great sign.

Cena warns Riley to not cross him.

3 hour Raw next week and it’s WWE All Star Night.

Here’s Alberto in a 1960 Rolls Royce.  The word for Alberto right now is slander.  People have been saying he’s a hit and run coward.  It was an accident though and here’s the video to prove it.  We see a clip of the accident and now Del Rio wants Show to come out so he can apologize.  Here he comes….and it’s Ricardo in a bald wig on crutches.  There’s food being eaten and a catcher’s mitt for a hand.  Well they have the small bits down.

Alberto says he’s pretending to be hurt to avoid paying for damages to his car.  All Ricardo does is hold up his hand and growl.  Del Rio offers candy and ice cream and chocolate in exchange for dropping the charges but then takes it back, saying Show deserved what happened to him.  He warns Show not to make Alberto his enemy because Show will get hurt if he does so, because bad things happen to bad people.

Video on Kofi which more or less is him jumping a lot.  He’s up next.

Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder, the apparent new internet darling, doesn’t even get his own music as Dolph and Vickie are out there also for commentary.  Non-title here and Cole calls Ryder “Zack Ziggler”.  Kofi uses his basic stuff to start so Ryder gets in his face.  Ryder avoids the jump in the corner and gets a neckbreaker for two.  The announcers plug the Youtube show as Ryder gets a kick in the corner.  Well at least I think he did because we cut back to Ziggler and Vickie every 8 seconds.  Kofi starts his comeback and never mind as there’s Trouble in Paradise and we’re done at 2:44.  Just a quick match here and nothing of note.

Booker is up next.

Miz vs. Riley at the PPV.

Booker T vs. Jack Swagger

Booker grabs the arm to start and that gets him nowhere.  He chops away but Swagger knocks him to the floor and we shift into a brawl.  Swagger hammers on him for a bit until Booker gets a spinwheel kick out of the corner to take back over.  Axe kick misses but a heel kick sends Jack to the floor again.  And that’s it as he just takes the countout at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to get Booker on TV, surprisingly enough not for a plug for the Nitro DVD.  It makes sense to not have Swagger lose clean here as Booker probably isn’t going to be a regular wrestler.  Not much at all but nothing really bad here.  It’s hard to complain about a match that barely broke the threshold for a rating.

Bourne jumps Swagger in the aisle and Jack winds up taking an axe kick and the Shooting Star Press.  There’s a double Spinarooni as well.

Alex Riley/John Cena vs. The Miz/R-Truth

Austin is referee remember.  We get all four entrances but the bell is next.  Back and it’s Miz vs. Cena to start.  Riley gets tagged in about 20 seconds in and Miz runs to tag Truth.  Truth does his usual stuff but Riley is able to tag in Cena.  Just like Miz earlier, Truth runs for his partner so it’s back to Cena vs. Miz again.  Cena LOUDLY calls for a bulldog and hits one on Miz so that the chase can be on.

Back to Truth vs. Riley with Truth taking his head off with a clothesline as we take a break.  Back with Miz holding a chinlock on Riley.  DDT gets two for Miz.  Miz gets in Austin’s face and then misses a charge, sending his shoulder into the corner.  Truth breaks up the tag and it’s off to the chinlock again.  Truth does the always stupid looking jump off the middle rope into the boot of the other guy and it’s off to Cena.

John hits his usual stuff on Miz and sends Truth to the floor.  There’s the STF but Miz doesn’t tap.  Truth brings in a chair, only to get dropkicked down almost immediately.  Double clothesline and Cena and Miz are both down.  Riley pops up behind Cena with the briefcase but pops Miz with it.  A Stunner sets up the AA to end Miz at 10:43.

Rating: C-. Didn’t really like this here as Riley needed to get some ring time and really wasn’t much of a factor here.  It was far too similar to the main event from I think two weeks ago where Bret was referee.  Not awful but I wasn’t all that into it and the match kind of dragged a bit.

Post match the GM says Austin has overstepped his authority so we’re going to reverse the decision.  Another E-Mail makes Austin guest GM next week.  Cole gets covered in beer and takes a Stunner and AA to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Energetic show here but the wrestling held it back a bit.  They seem to have completely changed directions in the past few weeks and I think it’s working ok for the most part but not great.  Some of the feuds are interesting but seem shaky at the same time.  Capitol Punishment is more or less set on Raw and that’s a good thing.  Not a great show but overall I think it worked.

Results

Santino Marella b. Michael McGillicutty – Cobra

Kelly Kelly/Beth Phoenix b. Bella Twins – Glam Slam to Nikki Bella

Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk – Top rope splash

Kofi Kingston b. Zack Ryder – Trouble in Paradise

Booker T b. Jack Swagger via countout

R-Truth/The Miz b. Alex Riley/John Cena via disqualification when Austin stunned Miz

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2011
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

Three weeks out from Capitol Punishment and we now have some new stories set up.  It’s looking like we’re setting up some form of Truth vs. Cena at the PPV which is probably the best option right here.  Other than that it’s kind of hard to say where we’re going with major matches as other than that, Show vs. Alberto is probably coming later with the knee injury angle.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a tribute to Memorial Day and soldiers that have died in combat.  Nothing wrong with that.

And now we have a black screen.  Oh wait here’s R-Truth at a merchandise stand destroying stuff.  And never mind as we’re gone again with a graphic saying there are technical difficulties.  Ok now he’s destroying the stand with no audio.  He messes with a concession stand and we cut to black again.  We have some background audio but whatever he’s saying into the microphone isn’t heard.

Cole and Lawler are talking but their words don’t match their movements.  Lawler says it’s something to do with the conspiracy.  Now Truth is coming down the steps in the audience and yelling at people in Cena gear.  There goes the audio again.  Truth comes down to a family in Cena gear and the audio is way out of sync.  He calls the kid little Jimmy and the kid’s father big Jimmy.  The father says What’s Up and Truth isn’t happy.  The sound sounds like it’s in a tunnel or something and is about 8 seconds ahead of the video.

He’s in the ring now and ranting about how the fans are the problem instead of him.  It’s about Little Jimmy apparently.  Here comes Cena as Vince must be losing his mind right now.  Cena says that Truth is losing it because he thinks everyone is named Jimmy and there is no conspiracy.  The audio is in sync now, about 10 minutes into the show.  Truth says it’s the fans and Cena that are crazy, not Truth.

The fans chant for Cena and the picture is still jumping a bit.  Cena says that these are the greatest fans in the world and they agree that Truth should be in a straightjacket.  Cena says he has no problem knocking some sense back into Truth.  Truth wants a match so all the little Jimmys can watch him beat Cena down.  Cue the GM for an E-Mail read by Cole and the main event is Truth vs. Cena with no little Jimmys allowed at ringside.  Truth thinks it’s a joke and says Cena will get got.

Kharma will speak tonight.

Dolph vs. Kofi next.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Cole says he’s thankful for being back at ringside to call this show.  Dolph is blonde again which is a big improvement for him.  Technical stuff to start as Lawler says Vickie looks good tonight.  I know they were having technical difficulties but dang man they’re messing with Lawler’s words now.  Slower paced match than was probably expected.  Ziggler takes him down with a shoulder block but Kofi speeds things up a bit.

The referee has an elbow pad on for some reason.  Cole keeps sucking up to Vickie as Kofi takes over a bit.  No one has really had an extended advantage yet.  Kofi tries his jump into the punches in the corner but Dolph moves, allowing Kofi to land on the top rope.  Dolph shoves him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Dolph holding an armbar and pulling Kofi back down by the hair.  Elbow drop gets two and we go to a chinlock.  Stinger Splash in the corner misses for Dolph and Kofi speeds things up again.  He can’t get the SOS but the jumping clothesline does hit.  There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Sleeper almost goes on and Kofi hits a pendulum kick.  Top rope cross body misses and a Fameasser gets a close two.  Small package gets two for Kofi but he walks into the Zig Zag for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better near the ending but the first part of it was kind of uninspiring stuff.  Not a great match or anything but it’s nice to see them get about ten minutes to go out and let a match build upon itself instead of being like three minutes long.  Not bad but nothing great, especially compared to what they did on Smackdown last year.

Here’s Alberto in an Audi.  We get a clip from last week where Big Show was hit by the car driven by Ricardo.  Part of the clip shows Alberto was driving and Ricardo switched places with him in the background.  Ricardo explains his side of the story in Spanish.  Alberto says bad things happen to bad people.  They owe him money for damaging his car and Ricardo will send them the bill.  Get well soon Big Show.  So it took almost 8 minutes to say “I’m not sorry”?

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Bella Twins

Eve vs. Brie to start as Eve does her gymnastics.  She hooks some kind of a choke/arm lock on but Twin Magic prevails.  The Bellas beat down Eve for a good while as the crowd really doesn’t seem to care.  There’s the tag to Kelly who does what is supposed to be a Thesz Press I think.  Kelly’s belt goes flying off and she gives whichever Bella that is a Stinkface.  Everything breaks down and the K2 ends let’s say Nikki at 2:56.  Just your typical Divas match with the looks being the only thing of note.

There’s a cookout in Nebraska.  No real reason for it being shown but it’s the second time we’ve seen it tonight.

Cole is in the ring to talk to Riley about his attack last week.  The Raw GM has apparently signed Alex Riley again.  We see the beatdown on Miz from last week.  Here’s Riley with his own theme song and a decent reaction from the crowd.  Cole yells at Riley about how he betrayed Miz after Miz had done so much for him.  What about Miz apparently?  Miz looked at Riley like a brother and Cole wants to know how Riley can do what he did to Miz last week.

Riley says he’s never felt better and Cole suggests Riley beg Miz for forgiveness.  Cole rants on him a bit more and Riley cuts him off.  Riley says Cole has a big mouth and is starting to get annoying just like Miz.  Cole calls Riley a bastard an Riley grabs him.  He of course takes too long and here’s Miz for the beatdown.  He looks manly in pink.  Miz tries to get a kick in but Riley takes him down.  Miz tries to run but Riley takes him down in the aisle and continues the beating.  Riley throws him onto the table and Miz runs into the crowd and out the door as Riley stands tall in the ring.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Ryan is with Punk here.  Cole can’t wait to tell us that a guy on American Idol wore a Punk shirt.  You know, for all the WWE fans that watch American Idol.  Punk takes over to start but gets caught in a kick to the chest and a headscissors.  Into the corner but Punk gets out of the way and sends Rey to the floor.  Rey gets on the apron but Ryan sends him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Punk holding Rey in something like a Gory Stretch for a bit.  Rey escapes but a headscissors is countered into a backbreaker for two.  Punk hammers away but Rey manages to dropkick him into 619 position.  CM hits the floor but Rey hits a suicide dive to send Punk over the announce table.  Back in Rey hits the seated senton and the springboard cross body for two.  A sweet pinning combination gets two.

Big spin kick misses and Punk gets another backbreaker for two.  Punk loads up the GTS but Rey counters into a rana to set up the 619.  Ryan blocks it so Rey dropkicks him to the floor.  Rey tries to skin the cat back in but Punk catches him in the GTS position.  Rey counters again but a big kick to the head is enough for Punk to pin him at 9:05.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as they let both guys do their thing.  Punk and Nexus’ push continues and it’s definitely not a bad thing.  Also seeing Rey lose is always a plus as it gets a good deal annoying to see him beat every single person he’s in there with.  Either way, good stuff here and Punk’s push continues, which is a good thing.

We get a clip of Austin on Jimmy Fallon.

Here’s Kharma to explain what happened last week.  Her voice is a lot softer than you would expect.  Her dream was to be a WWE Superstar (not Diva) and here she is.  She tried out for season 2 of Tough Enough and JR apparently told her she was too fat to be a Diva.  She went to Japan where she cleaned floors for training.  She went to every wrestling promotion in the world (no mention of TNA) before WWE called.

Her other dream was to be a mother.  She’ll be a mother because she is currently with child.  This is a high risk business and she can’t risk anything happening to her because it’s a high risk sport.  She’ll be back though.  Here are the Bellas to make fun of her.  They say they’re impressed that she found a guy to hook up with.  It must bother her to not be able to beat them up right now.  They make fat jokes and the Bellas try to run.  Kharma will be back in a year and she hopes they’ll still be here because then she has a new dream.  Her music plays her out.

We get the really stupid press conference promo on Capitol Punishment.  At least mix it up a bit.  I think this one is different but still, the joke is over.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger hammers away to start but an attempt at a belly to back suplex puth both guys on the floor.  Back in and it’s all Swagger so far with him hammering away on the back of Bourne.  Rather slow match here but Bourne tries to speed things up a bit, only to walk into a sidewalk slam.  Swagger keeps smacking him in the head and seemingly wasting time.  And yep there it is as Bourne grabs a victory roll for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match there to have Swagger mess up and continue this feud with Bourne.  I hope this leads to a face turn for Swagger as his character can only go so far as a heel.  He has the talent but they haven’t really gone anywhere with it.  Pretty much a nothing match but with 3 minutes what can they do?

Truth talks to himself some more.

Cena talks to Ryder who looks like he has something resembling the IC Title.

R-Truth vs. John Cena

We do get part of the segment to open the show from earlier tonight with working audio.  Cena’s music hits at 10:58 so this is going to be a pretty short match.  Cena sends him to the floor almost immediately and Truth rants at some fans.  Truth gets something going but is sent to the floor again where he runs his mouth some more.  They’re intentionally not having a ton of contact here.

There are the dueling chants as Cena gets going.  At least he’s not gone get got.  Cena takes him to the floor again and Cena gets frustrated.  Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits the crowd this time.  Cena goes after him but gets caught with a shot to the head and it’s a count out win for Truth at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not even a match really as there might have been a total of 30 seconds of contact the entire time.  Still though they’re setting up for later on, likely with a PPV title match coming up.  If that’s the case then this is fine as the point was to not have them actually do anything yet.  Not even a match though so the grade means nothing really.

Truth goes back into the crowd and throws soda in the face of the fans from earlier.  Cena gives them his wristbands to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a rather good show overall with the pacing being far better than it’s been in recent weeks and a good deal of wrestling to go with it.  Truth being all insane is a nice touch to his character as he’s playing that character to perfection.  A lot of stuff was advanced tonight and we got a high amount of wrestling too.  What more can you ask for?  Very solid show here indeed.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – K2 to Nikki Bella

CM Punk b. Rey Mysterio – Kick to the head

Evan Bourne b. Jack Swagger – Victory Roll

R-Truth b. John Cena via countout

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 2, 2011
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Rock’s birthday tonight and the Great One is on Raw.  We also have a new WWE Champion as Cena ended Miz’s title reign last night at Extreme Rules.  With just three weeks before Over the Limit they’re kind of in a hurry to get to the buildup for the next PPV.  Also tonight is a dual branded show so the Smackdown crew is here, including the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  Also given the news with Osama bin Laden last night you can almost guarantee some patriotic themed stuff.  Let’s get to it.

The show opens with a video about 9/11 and how bin Laden is dead.  That just makes you smile a little bit.  We get a clip of the 9/13 show which is still pretty awesome.  Lillian Garcia is here to sing the National Anthem.  Still incredible.

Here’s your theme song as performed by a Canadian band.

Miz vs. Cena for the title tonight.

Screw that though: here’s Rock to open the show, naturally in the flag Brahma Bull shirt.  Talk about being on top of the world: his movie DESTROYED everyone else at the box office this week and the bin Laden capture, his birthday, and he’s currently penciled in for a world title shot at Wrestlemania.  Not bad.  He looks rather happy to be here and emotional at the same time.

After a very lengthy entrance it’s time to talk.  Finally he’s back home.  Before he gets started though, he has one thing to say: WE GOT HIM!  He thanks the troops and leads the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Rock talks about growing up in Miami and being in school here, including a picture of him with a mustache and small afro.  “Laugh at it all you want but that face devoured more pie than King Kong Bundy in a Polish bakery.”

Now it’s time for college, where he was a Hurricane for The U (his words).  He talks about how awesome the university was and back in the day, that place was the best football school on the planet.  Awesome academic school also.  Rock says story time is over and it’s time to party.  There’s an e-mail but Rock cuts Cole off, saying if you have a message for the Rock, say it to his face.

Various insults follow and Cole says he’s a man now.  He’s a winner and says he associates himself with winners.  Cole takes his jacket and shirt off, revealing a Boston Celtics jersey, which is the team the Miami Heat are playing in the playoffs.  The ironic part of this is Miami is up 1-0 so Garnett isn’t even a winner at the moment.  Cole says he’ll deliver the message to Dwayne’s face.

The GM wants an apology due to Rock embarrassing the GM at Mania or the party is shut down.  Cole wants one also for all of the embarrassments over the years.  Rock agrees, and apologizes, somehow managing to draw boos from this crowd.  Rock’s handshake is very slowly accepted but Rock isn’t pleased with the jersey.  Rock says Go Heat and it’s a Rock Bottom for Cole.  With the U hand signal here’s the People’s Elbow.

Rock’s music starts but he cuts it off.  He brings out someone named Pitbull who is apparently a rapper from Miami.  The fans seem to be into him.  He performs a song and the Miami Heat dancers come out to perform with him.

Morrison vs. Truth up next.

LeBron James and Dwayne Wade say happy birthday Rock.  Ok that’s kind of a big deal.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

JR has replaced Cole (ten weeks of a rotating commentary team in a row) on commentary.  Truth jumps Morrison during his entrance and sends him head first into the floor.  Morrison has allegedly injured his neck as referees carry him out.  He walks out but is going very slowly.  No match.  Truth jumps him again and gives him another Downward Spiral with Morrison’s head coming nowhere near the stage on the impact.

Jimmy Kimmel wishes Rock a happy birthday and we get an oily men in underwear reference. Also there’s candy in his pants.  You figure the joke out yourself.

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  And never mind as Kharma comes out after about 10 seconds.  Kelly had taken Maryse down already and then just sat there for like 40 seconds as Kharma came down.  She deserves to die them.  Implant Buster to Maryse as Kharma just leaves Kelly alone.  No match again.

Miz yells at Riley for not being there last night.  He’s late tonight due to the crowd of people for Rock’s birthday.  Riley better be there tonight.

Paul Walker says happy birthday to the Rock and makes some bad Cena references.  He does call him Fruity Pebbles though.

Samuel L. Jackson says happy birthday and says Rock is from another planet.  Planet 51 perhaps?  He would run through a lion’s den with steak underwear on.  Wow indeed.

Rock is with the Divas and talks about singing happy birthday to Michelle Obama.  There’s a bit party going on in the back and various people make cameos.  Kozlov has a movie script for him and Santino comes up as….oh ok it’s Rock’s character from Fast 5.  Horny runs in as the Scorpion King.  He has a tooth ache apparently, so……oh sweet merciful goodness here’s Khali in a pink tooth fairy dress with wings and a tiara.  He says you can’t handle the tooth.  Ron Simmons pops up and there’s only one thing to say.  Cute comedy segment but that dress is going to haunt my nightmares.

Cena vs. Miz next.

Steve Carrell wishes Rock a forced (literally) happy birthday.  He says this is against his will and he doesn’t like Dwayne.  He was promised money and has received none.  This is against his will and he doesn’t endorse Johnson.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz

We get big match intros for this as I can’t believe we’re over halfway done with the show.  Miz grabs a headlock to start and that gets him nowhere.  Cena fights back and gets a dropkick for one.  Almost all Cena here and he takes down Riley also.  Miz hammers away and the referee pulls him off, allowing Riley to get a shot in.  A shot into the steps gets two.

Corner clothesline hits by the former champ as the fans are split.  Double axe off the top hits for two as we take a break.  Back with Miz in control, getting a neckbreaker for two.  Cena comes back with his usual stuff and the Shuffle gets two.  Miz fights out of the AA and is holding his shoulder.  Big boot puts Cena down but a second attempt is countered into the STF.  Rope is grabbed though and Miz gets a low DDT for two.

There goes a turnbuckle pad as the referee is apparently blind.  Cena blocks the shot into it but can’t get the AA again.  Reality Check gets two.  This is better than it sounds as they’re not making Miz look like a joke.  The Finale is blocked and Miz is knocked into the referee.  STF goes on and Miz taps.  Riley comes in with the briefcase and it goes into Cena’s ribs.  Finale hits for a VERY close two.  Crowd is into this big time.

Miz walks into the AA and THAT gets two.  I would have bet money on that one.  Ok probably not but you get the idea.  Riley distracts again and a belt shot by Miz GETS THE PIN!  What just happened?  Miz has the title behind his back and the referee is confused.  The fall came at 12:15 if you’re curious.  The referee waves the fall off because he sees the belt.  CHEAP!  Not only that, Miz LOSES by DQ because there was a belt in the ring.  I hate how WWE changes rules every five minutes like this.  Drives me crazy.

Rating: B. Very good match here and far better than their Mania match.  The false finishes were great and it was the STUPID ending that held it back from being even better.  Miz looks completely equal to main event stars and that’s the best thing you could say about him.  Good match, terribly stupid ending.

Cena beats them both up post match.

Ellen Degeneres fails to come up with a good catchphrase but says happy birthday.

Tyler Perry wishes Rock happy birthday.  He does some Madea also.

We get a clip from after the PPV went off the air last night with Cena making the announcement that Osama had been killed.  He said compromised to a permanent end instead of killed/assassinated though.

Ricardo does the full entrance for Alberto but he’s in a suit (and a Rolls Royce).  He’s doing commentary for the following tag match.

Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre

Swagger and McIntyre have a pose in the aisle which looked uh……how do I put this…….think of Billy and Chuck.  Swagger vs. Rey to start us off and it’s off to Kofi quickly.  Big boot takes Kofi down and we take a break.  Back with Swagger having a crossface chickenwing broken up as he tags in Drew.  Kofi rolls him up for two and McIntyre does the same.

Swagger takes over again as Alberto says Rey isn’t a real Mexican.  Off to Rey who cleans house and gets two on McIntyre.  Trouble in Paradise to McIntyre sets up the 619.  Alberto gets up and Rey glares at the villain, but instead just goes with a top rope splash (called a senton by JR) to end it at 8:40.

Rating: C. Not a great match but it’s ok at least and they let the new draft picks get on TV and have some stuff develop.  Alberto vs. Rey looks to be happening….again and I guess we’ll get Swagger vs. Kofi….again, but that one at least didn’t have a blowoff before so that helps a bit.  Just a tag match really though.

WWE had an anti-bullying rally and started an organization in Washington DC.  Yes, we get it: bullying is bad.

Ludacris wishes Rock happy birthday.

Dan Marino says the basics.

Rock congratulates the new World Heavyweight Champion, Christian.  That’s his cameo I guess.  Vickie comes in with Dolph and they have a present for him.  It’s a cake that’s about five feet tall.  He loves pie so they pull it back and there’s Mae Young who looks….well she looks like Mae Young.  They laugh and Rock says shut up.  Rock says Vickie can lose all the weight she wants and she’ll never be as beautiful as Mae Young.  Rock kisses Mae full on the lips and says he gets more pie in one night than Dolph gets in a lifetime.

Rock turns around and sees John Cena.  The Divas aren’t even paying attention.  Cena has a gift for Rock which he can only get from Cena.  It’s the WWE Championship, which he’s going to keep until Wrestlemania.  If Rock wants it, he has to go through Cena.  Rock says just bring it.  Cool moment as always with these two.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

George Lopez has some coupons for Rock for his birthday.  Ok then.

Mason Ryan vs. Kane

Kane gets shoved to the floor to start and a clothesline puts Kane down.  After Kane gets beaten down with slams and various other power stuff, Punk comes in for the DQ at 1:38.  Nexus runs out for the beatdown and Kane fights them off.  Ryan casually breaks a chokeslam which was impressive.  Show comes down and Ryan spears him down with ease.

Ryan leaves without Nexus who look at him and aren’t happy.

Rock’s party is up next.  It’s 11:00 and we’re going to a commercial.

Regis and Kelly say happy birthday.

Craig Ferguson says happy birthday.

Everyone in the front row has birthday hats on now.  Rock says he’s happy to be a son of Miami and a proud Hurricane.  Rock’s family is in the front row.  He promises that Wrestlemania will be the biggest of all time.  Here’s Vince of all people.  He talks about a day a long time ago when Rock said he could make WWE reach new levels and Rock has done it.

Vince wants to thank Rock for being the Rock and for coming home.  There’s a present for him and it’s a video about his career and life, set to I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money.  There are some awesome old school videos from him as a football player and with various people such as Andre the Giant and Muhammad Ali as a kid.

Back in the arena Maya is here to sing Happy Birthday to Rock.  The catchphrase finally takes us out as streamers and confetti fall.

Overall Rating: B-. And yes I know there wasn’t a ton of wrestling.  That wasn’t the point to this show yet I’m sure people will complain about it anyway.  This show was about a celebration for Rock and to draw fans in by having him there.  There’s nothing wrong with putting a show into coast mode which is what is usually done the first week after a PPV.  We had a good show here and some stuff was set up for Over the Limit.  Not bad here at all and definitely entertaining overall.

Results

John Morrison vs. R-Truth went to a no contest when R-Truth jumped Morrison

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse went to a no contest when Kharma interfered

John Cena b. The Miz via DQ when Miz hit Cena with the WWE Championship

Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio b. Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger – Mysterio pinned McIntyre after a top rope splash

Kane b. Mason Ryan via DQ when CM Punk interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 25, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Tonight is the Draft and also the go home show before Extreme Rules.  The changes tonight don’t go into effect until after the PPV so the matches there are set in stone.  What it does mean though is that we could see a changing of some of the shows various titles are on which could help spice things up a bit.  This is usually fun and is being moved to this date due to Edge’s retirement, which is definitely a good thing as Smackdown is very low on star power right now.  Let’s get to it.

During Tough Enough we saw the Raw midcard coming into the ring for a 20 man battle royal with the winning brand getting the first pick.

Battle Royal

This is in progress as we start.  More or less imagine anyone in the midcard or upper midcard on either show and they’re in this.  There are 20 men in this with guys like Kane, Show, Bourne, Sheamus, Corre, DiBiase, Tatsu, Clay, Henry etc.  Three or four guys put Kane out.  Show fights Khali for a bit to a nice reaction.  These matches are always hard to call and this is no exception.  A bunch of Smackdown guys put out Khali.

Sheamus tries to dump Barrett but can’t get him.  Clay is walking around looking like he wants lunch.  Only two eliminations so far that I can tell.  Drew almost gets Bryan out but DiBiase saves.  If I understand this right any amount of people can win for a team, as in if there are three Smackdown guys left in the end the match ends.  Kozlov is out.  Show beats down Sheamus as Henry puts Big Zeke out.  The team dynamic here is kind of cool.

Slater is gone as is Masters.  Raw has a slight advantage now.  Barrett is gone as Raw takes over.  Did Ted DiBiase just put Barrett out?  Wow indeed.  There goes DiBiase.  Henry and Clay go out at the same time.  It looks like it’s 6-4 with Raw ahead but Tatsu goes out to make it 5-4.  Sheamus can’t put Rhodes out.  For Raw it’s Sheamus, Bourne, Daniel Bryan, Mason Ryan and Santino.  For the blue guys it’s Rhodes, Kofi, Drew and Show.  Drew puts Sheamus out as we take a break.

Back with no changes.  Bryan gets crushed by Show as Bourne puts McIntyre out.  Kofi comes off the top on Ryan but misses completely.  Santino goes to the apron and tries the Cobra on Show.  Show casually grabs it and hits Santino with his own move.  Bryan and Rhodes go out as we’re down to Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston and Big Show.  Size vs. size and speed vs. speed.  Kofi goes to the apron and we get an awesome sequence with Bourne hanging off the apron and sliding back in while Kofi jumps back in.

Bourne is put on the top but jumps at Show, only to be thrown out with ease.  The double teaming begins and a pendulum kick sends Ryan into Show who tosses him to earn the blue show the first pick at 13:40 since the show came on the air.  Best time guess I can give you there guys.

Rating: C-. Battle royals are hard to grade but this was just ok.  The ending sequence with Kofi and Evan was awesome and the right team won.  I’d bet on this being the big star pick that they need or they’ll save it until the end.  Either way not bad here but just a battle royal which isn’t something that is very good most of the time.

To Smackdown: JOHN CENA!!!  Cena comes out on the stage in the blue shirt as I’m stunned.  Raw belongs to Orton I guess.

We get the recap video of Morrison and Truth which is made out to be something Biblical almost.

Here’s Truth to no music and he says Raleigh, North Carolina…..SHUT UP!  Tonight is all about you, meaning the fans.  They do the WHAT chant and Truth gets annoyed.  He blames the fans for his failure because they goaded him into it and says the fans haven’t gotten him anywhere over the years.

Truth says the fans need rhythm and to get in tune for his singing and dancing.  He talks to an imaginary fan named Little Jimmy who he apparently made happy by singing What’s Up.  The kid singing doesn’t make him a champion either so Little Jimmy can SHUT UP.  He’s giving the fans the boot tonight and is done with them.  When he let go all of the frustration and anger if felt MARVELOUS (he screamed it, not me)!  For the first time the Truth has set him free.

Morrison jumps Truth and the referees come out for the pull apart.  Morrison breaks free and charges Truth who he leaves laying as we take a break.

Rock is here next week which is his birthday.

Another video of what will be Awesome Kong and we see her face.  The world Kharma pops up on the screen.

Eve Torres vs. Layla

Well the people in this one look better than they did in the first match.  Michelle comes out after Layla and is pretty ticked off here.  Eve gets a very quick Downward Spiral for two.  Layla comes over to Michelle and swings at her as Cole interrupts again.  Eve wins with a rollup at 40 seconds.

Cole is talking about his training regimen and says that Mr. Wrestlemania has left ringside.

Layla DESTROYS Michelle post match and cries, shouting that she’s sick of this.  Michelle goes onto the announce table as Layla is bawling.

To Raw: Rey Mysterio.  Well that’s a change of pace for him.

JR is warming up.  Trish wishes she jiggled that much.

Cody Rhodes talks

about giving Rey a new mask, as in the kind that you get in a hospital.  This is another of those creepy Cody promos that get better and better every time.

Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus

Sheamus takes over early and hits a slingshot shoulder block for two.  After that chickenwing Sheamus uses he gets sent into the post to shift momentum.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Next week will be Raw and Smackdown combined again apparently.  High Cross misses as does the Brogue Kick but a pair of Trouble in Paradises ends this at 2:34.  Quick match and nothing to rate at all.

To Smackdown: Randy Orton.  My jaw literally dropped on that one.

Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross

Booker T is on commentary now which I believe is the 9^th consecutive week that the announce team has changed during the show.  Lawler gets up to be in JR’s corner.  Ross is in dress pants and an Oklahoma football jersey.  The seconds are on the apron instead of the floor.  Cole makes fun or Ross’ weight and they circle each other a lot.  A minute in and we’ve had no contact.

Cole, in his orange singlet, dances around a lot as Ross throws right hands.  Cole hits the floor as we’ve had no serious contact after two minutes.  Cole puts JR’s hat on then takes it off and stomps on it.  Cole has a lot of tattoos.  Swagger towels Cole off and he does some pushups.  We’ve now reached the length of Sheamus vs. Kofi with no contact yet.  Ross finally grabs Cole and shoves him down.

Cole calls for timeout and Swagger puts a stool in the corner.  There’s a spit bucket and water.  Cole actually tries to slam him so Ross hammers on him with some ground and…..with some ground and……no I just can’t say it.  Cole tries to run and Lawler throws him back in.  Swagger takes down Cole and then comes in for the DQ at 4:35.

Rating: F-. Oh just…..no.  We get it: Cole is a jerk that everyone hates.  This needs to END.  It’s played beyond belief and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to keep going after Extreme Rules.

Cole shouts about what Ross did to him as he has a bloody lip.  He gets a belt off JR I think and whips Ross with it.  Lawler comes in for the save and the heels run.  An E-Mail makes the match on Sunday a country whipping (strap) match.  Someone got busted legit in that as there’s a bunch of blood on Ross’ cheek.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

This is for two picks.  Orton takes over for a bit until Ziggler comes back with a crossface chickenwing as the Backlundmania is spreading.  Orton fights back as they seem to botch something with Ziggler going to the floor.  Dropkick sends Orton into the front row and it’s not a countout of course.  Orton’s new beard won’t let that happen.  Randy comes back in and hits what is supposed to be a Thesz Press and hammers away.  Angle Slam gets two.  He loads up the RKO and despite Vickie interfering we’re done at 3:20 to send two more people to Fridays.  Good grief that’s a ton.

Rating: C+. This was short but they fit a lot in there.  It was a pretty good job of getting a very quick match that made sense which is hard to do with just over three minutes.  The ending was pretty obvious when Ziggler got no entrance at all and now looks like Evan Bourne’s cousin.  Not bad but WAY too short.

We start the Draft wheel again but Punk cuts it off.  He talks about beating Orton in the last man standing match this Sunday.  Orton says he’ll be glad to be gone from Raw so he won’t have to deal with Punk anymore.  This Sunday he’ll be the last man standing.  Now for the picks.  Ok never mind as they’re after the break.

To Smackdown: Mark Henry and Sin Cara.  Henry still has a job?  Cara is good because they can edit his matches to make them a bit less sloppy which will help him a lot I think.

Wade Barrett vs. Rey Mysterio

Barrett gets kicked in the leg to start but a Boss Man Slam gets two.  Off to a bow and arrow as Rey is in trouble early on.  Rey gets a springboard cross body for two.  Into the corner as I love that evil smile Barrett has.  Rey knocks him down and gets a headscissors to set up the 619 and top rope splash to end this at 2:30.  Just like the previous match: short but they got some stuff in there.

To Raw: Big Show and Alberto Del Rio.  Show is pointless as he can go from show to show with his tag title.  Alberto changes the whole world title picture though.  In the back Alberto is mad and Clay wants to know what happens to him but is sent away.

After we run down the card, Teddy introduces the main event which is for the final draft pick.

CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian

The match starts after the break.  There’s going to be a supplemental draft tomorrow at noon.  That’s always fun.  Josh says this is the final time for Cena on Raw.  Assuming that draft picks stays, that’s absolutely laughable since they said next week is going to have guys from Raw and Smackdown on it already.  Christian vs. Miz to start us off.  Off to Cena and Miz runs off.  We actually take ANOTHER break as this is ridiculous.  Vince must need a new plane with this many commercials tonight.

Back with Cena cleaning house with a dropkick to Punk and it’s off to Henry.  After he stands on Punk a bit Christian comes in but the clapping gets him in trouble.  Avoid the clap dude.  Punk gets a big kick to take him down and it’s off to Del Rio. He works on the shoulder a bit and it’s off to Miz.  Lots of tagging in this match so far.  More arm work follows including a Codebreaker to the arm for two.

After Christian plays Ricky Morton for a bit (does that make Edge Robert Gibson somehow?) he manages to pull off a tornado DDT to Del Rio and it’s hot tag to Cena.  Miz comes in also and Cena hammers on the champion.  Protoplex puts him down but Henry takes Cena down with a shoulder block.  He picks Christian up in a press slam and throws him into the steps and the Skull Crushing Finale ends Cena.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here with nothing of note to it.  I think we all knew Raw would win here as they more or less had no other option.  Henry turning isn’t anything of note at all as he’s boring beyond belief for the most part anymore.  Not much here but a decent ending I guess.

To Raw: John Cena.  Yeah we knew it was coming.

Cena cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Well for overall shock value this certainly worked.  Cena and Orton both going had my jaw dropping.  The wrestling itself though….not so much.  The Cole/Ross thing was just annoying as it has been for weeks now.  The total focus on the main event save for a few picks is rather annoying stuff but that’s par for the course here.  Pretty weak Draft but it gave Smackdown more than the boost it needed, which is the point of the show.  The ending was a bit predictable but that’s fine as the initial shock was great.  Not the worst show but nothing great at all.

Results

Team Smackdown won a battle royal – Big Show last eliminated Mason Ryan

Eve Torres b. Layla – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Trouble in Paradise

Jim Ross b. Michael Cole via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO

Rey Mysterio b. Wade Barrett – Top rope splash

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/CM Punk b. John Cena/Mark Henry/Christian – Skull Crushing Finale to Cena

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,668
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the second half of our double feature I guess you’d call it. I just got done posting the Fingerpoke of Doom show. This is the Raw from the same night which of course features Mankind winning his first world title. The rest of the show is more or less forgotten and since this is my favorite moment in the history of wrestling I just wanted to do this show. Let’s get to it.

A video about the career of HBK opens the show. He had recently been fired as Commissioner by Vince so this is kind of a goodbye thing. Vince yells to cut the video, so we cut to the arena to see the Corporation coming to the ring. There is a lot of talent in there to put it mildly. Oh and Test is there too. Vince talks about how Shawn humiliated his son and if anyone does that again, they have to deal with Vince.

A live shot of Shawn coming to the arena is shown on the screen, and there’s the music. Not sure what the point of the video was since he was there seconds later. He has the cavalry with him, and it’s DX. And by that, I mean the REAL DX: HHH, X-Pac, Chyna and the Outlaws. This team with Shawn is a weird visual but cool at the same time.

According to Shawn he’s still the Commissioner because the contract is iron clad and Vince said the Commissioner answered to no one, including Vince. Shawn says the only way he leaves is if he resigns, which more or less set up the Vince makes Shawn’s life a living nightmare angle. We see a clip of Vince drawing his number for the Rumble and he wanted #2. Shawn therefore grants his wish, setting up one of the worst Rumbles of all time. He also promises Vince a surprise for later in the night, which will drive him Stone Cold Crazy.

By the way, Cole is somehow more of an annoying douche here than he is now.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Shamrock is the IC and a tag champion here but this is nontitle. Ken was in the ring for the opening segment but had a regular entrance for no apparent reason. It’s a striking contest to start with Blackman taking over. We hear about Billy Gunn feuding with Shamrock, more or less giving away the ending.

Dan Severn, in a neck brace, comes down. He used to be both UFC Champion and NWA Champion at the same time. It’s so weird hearing about UFC on WWF TV. His mustache on his own could probably win the IC Title. It’s that awesome. Dan and Shamrock were big rivals in UFC so there’s the reason. Shamrock hits his belly to belly which is more of a throw than anything else. Severn pops up on the apron and Billy Gunn runs down for a Fameasser to Shamrock, giving Blackman the pin. Predictable but fine.

Rating: N/A. Not about the match or anything as this was just for the angle. That’s perfectly fine and is a common practice in wrestling today still. Blackman was just boring to put it mildly, but he was trying at least. The Attitude Era was known for having a point to everything, and this had about three angles going at once, which is average for the time.

Gunn and Shamrock are fighting in the back.

Here comes Mankind for no apparent reason. He doesn’t have his far more famous music yet either. Foley beat up Shane last week apparently. Foley: “I swear that was the first time I’ve ever grabbed another man’s testicles.” He’s just awesome at this point with his promos as he’s a clueless putz that seems to find himself in the top feuds in the company but everyone loves him and he can back it up. It was just out there all the time, but it worked like a charm.

He wants a shot at the Rock and the Title at the Rumble. We get an I Love Lucy reference as he says that’s what the fans want. He corrects the fans by saying he’s not God but he’s good. Foley beat Rock at Rock Bottom but Vince changed the decision. Vince comes out and blames Foley for blaming the fans. He says Foley hasn’t paid his dues and no more title shots for him.

Vince makes HHH vs. Foley tonight with the winner getting a spot in the Rumble. We see a clip of Foley beating up Shane, and Shane is announced as the guest referee. I knew that before it was said. There was a hardon for guest refs around this time so it was pretty clear that was coming.

Chyna and her friend Sammy are here.

Mark Henry vs. Goldust

Henry is sexual chocolate here and wants Chyna. How weird is it that these two are still employed? Goldie is still a bit insane here unlike now when there is nothing special about his character in the slightest. Goldust goes to the legs because that’s what you do against every big man you ever fight. Just as always, it doesn’t work.

Henry more or less dominates, hitting a big elbow drop. A press slam drop ends Goldie’s comeback and here are Chyna and Sammy on the stage. This allows Goldust to hit Shattered Dreams, which is of course a DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time and did nothing but set up the angle that’s about to happen. Goldust didn’t really mean much at all and Henry was in this whole thing with Chyna. You got a lot more pointless matches like these at this time, but it was a far more angle heavy period of time.

Sammy and Chyna get in and Chyna has something to say. The other night with him was incredible, but she’s not enough woman for him. She introduces him to her friend Sammy. Chyna makes the inevitable offer, and Henry faints. I’m not sure if this ends tonight, but the payoff for this is BAD. Apparently it doesn’t but Sammy is a transvestite. Gotta love Russo!

Jesse Ventura is governor of Minnesota. That’s still insane. His line at the inauguration: “We shocked the world.” Amen. Also for you REALLY old school fans, Terry, Tyrell and Jade are here, more commonly known as his wife, son and daughter. Just in case you never got those references.

Dennis Knight (soon to be Mideon) is in a dungeon, chained to the ceiling with various metal objects hanging around and laying on the floor. Sure why not?

Godfather vs. Test

Test is in the Corporation, which would change later. He had just debuted recently before this as a hired gun. Ho Train hits and Test is in trouble. Val Venis comes out as Test hits a big boot. Godfather and Test fight on the floor and the referee just throws it out for no apparent reason. Val runs down and brawls with Test. This whole thing took like 2 minutes.

DX is talking.

Mankind vs. HHH

Winner goes to the Rumble. Shane is guest referee. HHH works on the arm as Cole is REALLY annoying already. This is going to be short. Foley hits a baseball slide to put HHH down. HHH gets a sunset flip but Foley grabs the ropes. Shane kicks his arm and makes a fast count to end it. Like I said it was short, as in like 2 minutes.

HHH apologizes but says business is business and a win is a win. To avoid thoughts of a heel turn he gives Shane a Pedigree before saying to Foley that Shane is all his. Mankind says this is something my high school coach taught me. He more or less puts Shane in an abdominal stretch while sitting down. Foley says he’ll break Shane’s shoulder if Vince and the Stooges, who have just come out (ok not in Patterson’s case but 2/3 isn’t bad), come any closer. He wants a title shot TONIGHT and makes Shane screams. Vince agrees but Foley wants No Disqualifications. It’s on, and Rock comes out to yell at Vince.

Slam of the Week is X-Pac getting kicked in the head by Bossman.

We recap what just happened.

Edge vs. D’Lo Brown

Edge has only been around about 6 months at this point and still comes through the crowd. I LOVED this guy back in the day and did for a long time. Brown and Henry have been having issues with PMS, so expect a run in here. No bell here as we just get going. Big plancha to the floor by Edge which has no effect for some reason.

Liger Bomb to Edge doesn’t get a cover as D’Lo has to play to the crowd. Very nice top rope cross body from Edge gets two. Here’s PMS as has been a theme tonight. Terri is pregnant but won’t say who the father is. D’lo accidentally knocks her to the floor and she holds her stomach. This would result in Brown being their slave more or less. I hated this stable, as did most people. The match just ends.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match as Brown was always solid in the ring and Edge was AWESOME when he debuted. This was a great pairing and I’d love to see them go at it again. And then we have to do a lost baby angle which was one of Russo’s favorites. It turned out that Terri was never pregnant of course.

Kane comes out with Shane, Bearer and the Stooges. He’s in the Corporation as well but doesn’t seem happy about it. Kane has a sign on his back for the Brisco Brothers’ Body Shop. Shane says this is a handicap match against the Stooges. Wait what?

Gerald Brisco/Pat Patterson vs. Kane

Vince comes out again and says this is because the Stooges were partially responsible for Shane getting hurt last week. Patterson tries to bribe Kane with what he has in his pocket: a cigarette and a condom. Would anyone else like to just watch Patterson go about his daily life? Chokeslam for Brisco. Patterson gets a chair but Kane sees him. Shane is in the ring with a mic and egging Kane on which is funny stuff. Kane PUNTS the chair off the mat and over the top. That was rather impressive looking actually. Kane grabs Shane by the throat but Vince says Kane will go back, meaning to an insane asylum. Not even a match.

Dennis Knight is still in the dungeon. The Acolytes come in and say “he’s ready for you.” Knight is more scared by this. The he is Undertaker and Knight would become Mideon in a FREAKY ceremony the next week.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Road Dogg

Snow is the challenger and wearing a shirt covered in “blood” from a bloodbath from the Brood. Snow hides behind the curtain and we fight on the stage. The Hardcore Title was actually a coveted title at this point and not a joke. It’s very violent very early as Snow is dominating. He hits a moonsault off the barricade but Road Dogg moves, sending Snow through a table.

Big old cookie sheet (why are those under wrestling rings or in arenas ever?) gets two. They head up the ramp and off to the side towards the back. Dogg goes up a set of steps and does a flying leap to take Snow down with a double axehandle. We’re in a supply closet now or something and various stupid things are used as weapons.

They find a cart of potted plants to throw at each other. This is more intense than it sounds. Snow gets a steel pole and does some nice spinning and flipping (there’s a proper term for it but I can’t think of it. Think of a drill team) with it before driving it into Roadie. They go outside into the snow. Keep in mind this is Massachusetts in early January so it’s FREEZING.

Snow gets put in a wheelbarrow or something and shoved into a wall. The referee can’t stand up in the snow which is kind of funny. A piledriver on a wooden pallet pins Snow so Road Dogg retains (Cole of course says he won the title because Michael Cole is an idiotic douche).

Rating: B. Keep in mind this was a hardcore match and not a regular match when thinking about that grade. This was actually quite good and worked rather well. Road Dogg was cleaning up his real life a lot around this time and got off of drugs and stopped drinking for the most part and his in ring work went WAY up as a result. The push was kind of a reward for it and he would get the IC Title in two months. This was one of the better Hardcore Title matches I remember actually.

Dennis Knight is thrown through a door.

The Corporation jumps Shawn and beats the living tar out of him, throwing him into the window of a car. That’s all in theory that is as the cameraman was knocked down and we heard glass breaking. When we come back Shawn is bloody and in the windshield.

WWF Title: Mankind vs. The Rock

This is No DQ remember. This is the match that Tony Schiavone gave the ending away to on their show, shifting the ratings for the night because of it. DX comes out to back up Foley, because they couldn’t go to the hospital with Shawn or help defend him right? Rock of course has the Corporation with him.

Rock jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor. He won’t let the Corporation beat them up because he wants to do it himself. How noble of our heel champion. Foley does his first sick bump of the match as he goes knee first into the steps and flies over them in a painful looking shot. These two always had mad chemistry together, which is something that could be said about most guys with Rock actually.

Rock does commentary during the match, which always cracked me up. He talks a bit too much though so Foley takes over. Foley does a promo of his own and we cut to a shot of Vince and Shane, but we hear a bell ring. Foley is down and Rock has the bell. Subtle. Rock Bottom through a table and Foley is in trouble. This has all taken less than three minutes so I’m not leaving much out at all.

To play up the spontaneous nature here Rock is in street clothes, as in the kind you would work out in. Corporate Elbow (debuted 5 minutes from my house) hits for two as this is ALL Rock. Foley with a spinning neckbreaker out of nowhere to get both guys down. Bossman throws the belt in and a shot to the head (sounded SICK) gets two as well. Double arm DDT onto the belt and Rock is in big trouble.

There’s Mr. Socko as the crowd has lost it. Mandible Claw goes on but Shamrock pops Foley with a chair. Billy Gunn takes him down and the brawl begins. Everything goes crazy and CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin comes out and everyone loses it. He caves Rock’s head in with a chair and pulls Mick on top for the pin and the world title as the roof is blown off the arena.

Rating: A+. This was about a shocking moment and excitement and a feel good story and they NAILED it. This is very personal bias heavy, but they’re my reviews so who cares?

DX puts Foley on their shoulders as the Corporation carries Rock out. Cole gets in the famous line of “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it!” This is one of the best feel good moment in WWF history as Foley was considered one of the best to never be world champion as he worked as hard as anyone else but was never given a serious shot at it.

He got the shot tonight and he won the title. Road Dogg does the big announcement of Mankind being the new champion to a HUGE ovation. Foley dedicates the win to his kids and takes a lap around the ring with the belt to end the show. This is my favorite moment in wrestling history, bar none.

Overall Rating: B-. I hate to use that grade as the show is far from average given the ending but the rest of the show is pretty bad. The last half hour is great stuff though which pushes the rating higher.

There was a very clear and predictable pattern for everything that wasn’t the main event and it got annoying after awhile. The ending more than makes up for it though as this was just perfect all around. Great moment and 100% worth seeing. If you even remotely like Foley I defy you to not smile a bit while you watch this.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We’re in England tonight as you can see by the location of the show.  This show was taped which might explain some differences in the look and feel of the show.  We’re apparently a week away from the 2011 WWE Draft which means this might be the last night a lot of Raw stars are well….Raw stars.  We also will likely get some more matches added to the Extreme Rules card.  Let’s get to it.

Nickelback opens us up.  Awesome.  Yes I like them.  Go ahead and make your jokes.

Here’s R-Truth to open the show in the arena.  Cole cuts Lawler and King off almost immediately and says it’s not 12 years ago.  Lawler says he likes listening to R-Truth rap.  Why do I have a problem believing that?  Truth says he’s going to preach the gospel.  He’s been down a long road of trials, tribulations and demons.  His problem now is that he’s in line to become WWE Champion.  Cena’s name is booed.  For the WWE Universe he’s fighting everybody anywhere anytime.  And that is the truth.

Cue John Morrison who says he’s happy but would be happier if it was him.  Morrison says Truth got lucky last week.  Truth says he’s in the best shape of his life.  We get a clip from last week where during a commercial a referee handed Truth some water as Cena came in.  Morrison says Truth is in good shape for someone who smokes.

Truth: “All you’re trying to do is get me to challenge you to a match for my spot at Extreme Rules.”  Morrison: “All right I accept.”  Morrison points out that Truth said he’d fight anybody and the people seem to like the idea.  Truth says he’ll do it on two conditions.  First up a bottle of water and a cigarette.  Morrison says he’ll need some luck too.  Crowd had no response at all to those three final things.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

This is for the spot at Extreme Rules apparently.  Morrison takes over early and Truth hits the floor.  The fans aren’t thrilled as he gets some water and we take a break.  Back with Truth holding a headlock and then grabbing some pinning combinations for two.  Back to the headlock again as I guess Truth was tired again?  Morrison makes a small comeback with clotheslines but is takes down by a spinning kick by Truth.

Truth works on the arm for a bit and hits that suplex into a Stunner move of him for two.  Axe kick misses as does Morrison’s kick off the middle rope.  Morrison blocks the jumping downward spiral (which I think is called What’s Up but I’m not sure), putting Truth in perfect position for Starship Pain to end this in 7:08 (counting commercial).  Morrison is now in the PPV main event.

Rating: C. Just an ok match here but the water angle was kind of interesting for a nice twist.  The reaction to the change in the triple threat is kind of surprising though as they acted like it was no big deal at all.  Not a terrible match but just kind of there.  The best word I can think of for this match is basic.  It wasn’t anything great but it wasn’t bad either.  Average grade sounds right.

Truth goes off on Morrison post match, apparently turning heel.  He throws in a running knee to Morrison’s head, driving it into the railing.  Then he kind of hougs Morrison and says it’s all right before throwing him down on the floor.  He steals Jerry’s water and blasts Morrison in the head with it.  Truth says John did this and hits What’s Up on the floor.  He gets a cigarette from a fan and actually lights up.  Never thought I’d see that on WWE programming.  He blows smoke on Morrison and throws the lit cigarette at him before leaving.  Long segment here but not too bad.

Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler

No entrance for Bourne here other than a faint trace of his music.  Vickie does the regular entrance for Ziggler, who she claims is new and improved.  He has a haircut and dark hair now.  Well he doesn’t look like Curt Hennig anymore.  Ziggler takes over quickly but is caught in a hurricanrana.  Bourne tries to come off the ropes but gets caught by a dropkick for two.

We hit the mat and Ziggler looks like he’s unsure what he wants to do before settling on a bow and arrow kind of hold for a bit.  Bourne keeps trying to fight back with some strikes but Ziggler takes him down with ease.  A nice little string of offense by Evan ends with a spin kick for two.  He goes up for Air Bourne but Ziggler moves.  Bourne LANDS ON HIM FEET but is caught in a Zig Zag to end it at 2:10.  That landing by Bourne was amazing.

Cole is going to be knighted later apparently.

The Raw Rewind is all three of Sin Cara’s appearances.

Video of Edge’s two appearances last week, set to 3 Doors Down’s When You’re Young.  Del Rio is going to have a farewell party for Edge on Smackdown apparently.

Here’s Miz in a new shirt, along with Riley.   It looks like a baseball jersey and says Awesome.  Miz complains about being in a triple threat match and having it changed on him.  The match is going to be in a cage also where you can win by pinfall, submission or escape.  He wants a chair because he’s going to protest this change as we take a break.

Back with Miz running his mouth as we come back in mid sentence.  He’s talking about how it doesn’t matter who does something because at Extreme Rules he’s going to still be champion at the end of the match.  He sets for the catchphrase and Sin (Scene according to JR) Cara’s music cuts him off.

Sin Cara vs. Alex Riley

BIG height on the trampoline this week as he easily clears the top rope.  Loud Sin Cara chant starts and here’s Cena at a full sprint to clear the ring.  Well you can’t say Cara isn’t getting a good rub right of the bat.  The GM sends an e-mail to make it a tag match.  Works for me.

Alex Riley/The Miz vs. John Cena/Sin Cara

Riley and Cena start with the fans booing Cena out of the building.  Bulldog takes Alex down and he bails to the floor as we take another break.  Back with Cena taking it to Miz FU is blocked and Miz gets a Side Effect to send Cena into the corner.  The announcers talk about the Draft and Jerry wants to know if Cole is drafted off Raw.  My guess would be very little would change as he already does Smackdown but what do I know?

Riley and Miz hammer on Cena a bit more until Cena gets that sitout powerslam kind of move he hit last week.  That’s enough for the hot tag as Cara comes in by kind of jumping into Miz.  Things speed way up and Cara hits all kinds of dives and springboard moves to take down both opponents.  He sets for what looked like a springboard splash of some sort but Riley made the save, pulling him to the floor.

Miz rams him into the apron and takes over as they’re now the legal men.  The dueling Cena chants begin as Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Back off to the champion who can’t get his running clothesline in the corner.  Double tags bring in Riley and Cena and John initiates his ending sequence.  Before 5 Knuckle Shuffle he takes out Miz.  The champ picks up his title to leave as Cena hits the FU on Riley.  Tag brings in Sin Cara who TOTALLY misses a springboard moonsault which is enough to end this at 10:30.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match but Cara still looks really shaky out there and can’t hit some very basic spots.  If not for the sake of a quick camera edit that ending would have looked completely unrealistic and even with it the move looked bad.  Cara is trying but he looks like he’s about to go flying to the floor any second.  Not a good sign to be sure.

Nikki Bella vs. Eve Torres

Brie says that she wants a rematch but Eve might get drafted to Smackdown.  Not really any kind of a threat or anything but just kind of a statement of fact.  Eve misses a baseball slide to Nikki as she’s in a Tree of Woe to let Nikki take over.  Brie I think tries to slam Eve’s knee into the apron but the contact doesn’t seem to be there.  Nikki misses a double knee drop and Eve gets a rollup to end it at 1:48.

Eve poses after her win and Cole cuts it off.  He’s going to be knighted next.

Back with Cole in the ring and he calls out Swagger.  Jack comes out in a suit holding what looks like a robe over his arm.  Swagger doesn’t look mad at him after last week.  They hug so I guess everything is ok.  Swagger pulls out a scroll and botches saying “Hear Ye” by saying “Hear He”.  Tonight we add a new item to his hall of fame career as he becomes Sir Michael Cole.

Swagger brings out a woman that is called Queen Elizabeth.  The fans boo loudly as she reads whatever proclamation she has and taps him on the shoulders with the sword.  Cole kisses the queen and tries to start a Sir Michael Cole chant.  The fans reply by chanting sucks.  Cole says to show respect because they’re all his peasants.  And speaking of peasants, he turns his attention to JR and the King.  Isn’t a King ahead of a knight?

Cole says they should kiss his feet.  Cole takes his shoe and sock off, revealing a disgusting looking foot that looks like it’s dirty and infected or something.  Swagger takes Lawler out and then grabs Ross.  JR of course refuses so the ankle lock goes on and down goes Ross onto the foot.  Cole and Swagger stand tall.

Punk vs. Orton later tonight.

Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

Cole and Matthews on commentary now as this is what, the 7^th or 8^th week in a row that the same team doesn’t finish commentary?  Sheamus says this might be his last chance to embarrass Santino due to the draft.  The Champion sends Santino into the corner and takes over with ease.  Powerslam is reversed and that’s about it for this sequence by Santino.

Off to that crossface chickenwing on the mat but Marella fights back up.  An elbow drop leads to a similar version of the same hold.  Total dominance for the first few minutes until Santino dodges a charge in the corner.  He loads up the Cobra but falls down in the process.  Brogue Kick ends this clean at 3:28.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here and a way to get Sheamus on the show.  Santino is a rare breed of jobber where he can lose time after time but keep his credibility based solely on his comedy.  Not much of a match but at the same time it wasn’t supposed to be.  Kind of surprised that Santino got in literally no offense.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk grabs a headlock to start and the fans chant in a dueling fashion.  Orton stomps Punk down in the corner which doesn’t last long at all.  Punk fires off some knees to the head and a running one puts the Viper down.  Orton comes back and gets his powerslam to set up the RKO.  Punk shoves him off and we take a break.

Back with Punk slamming Orton and dropping a knee.  Off to a front facelock and Orton can’t seem to reverse it.  We get a GTS/RKO chant as Punk keeps up his offense.  We go out to the floor for a bit as Punk wants to know if he can get a pin out there.  Back in and it’s off to a modified triangle choke.  Orton bites the fingers to escape.  Punk tries a bulldog which is reversed into a belly to back suplex as we’re back to about even.

The bulldog hits this time and it gets two.  Punk is all frustrated since getting bitten on the hand.  He fires off some kicks but walks into the Orton backbreaks and an Angle Slam for two.  Punk clotheslines him on the top rope as we get another dueling chant.  Springboard clothesline gets two.  Punk goes up, only to get caught by a superplex for a long two.  Punk rolls to the apron which is a bad idea against Orton.  Elevated DDT is reversed into a GTS attempt.  That is countered into an RKO attempt but Punk gets a kick to the head.  Another GTS attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 15:44.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match here but it certainly wasn’t enough to save the show.  They were trying and gave us a pretty good match but it wasn’t as good as their Mania match.  This was the standard long match to end a TV show and send the fans home happy which is fine, but I’d like to see Punk get one win over Orton in this feud.  Not bad, but nothing classic.

Post match the New Nexus hits the ring for the big beatdown.  Batista’s Welsh son hits his Rock Bottom/Side Effect finisher to leave Orton laying.  McGillicutty and Otunga want to do something of their own but Ryan says Orton is his.  Ryan sets for a punt but Punk wants the honor.  After taking forever, Punk charges into an RKO to end the show.  Nice ending.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  I know it’s a show over in London so things are a bit different, but at the same time a lot of this felt like it was completely lacking.  There wasn’t a main point to most of tonight other than I guess you could say Truth’s turn.  Cole’s segment didn’t really do anything other than make him look like a bad guy which we’ve known for a long time now.  Nothing of note here and I wasn’t impressed at all.

Results

John Morrison b. R-Truth – Starship Pain

Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Zig Zag

Sin Cara/John Cena b. The Miz/Alex Riley – Springboard moonsault to Riley

Eve Torres b. Nikki Bella – Rollup

Randy Orton b. CM Punk – Rollup

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 4, 2011
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally on the other side of Wrestlemania and not a ton has changed on Raw. The Miz is still champion, Cole can still run his mouth (I still don’t get that one) and Rock vs. Cena is still going on. Tonight we begin the build up to Extreme Rules and also have the debut of Sin Cara which is something a lot of people have been looking forward to. Let’s get to it.

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary to open us up. Whoa.

John Cena will call out the Rock tonight.

HHH opens us up wearing sunglasses for some reason, possibly a black eye. He talks about being incredibly nervous last night and even mentions wrestling him at Wrestlemania before but it was nothing like this. Big bruise on the left hand (his left) side of the Game’s forehead. HHH says he hit Taker as hard as he’s ever hit anyone and they left it all in the ring last night, but for him it wasn’t good enough.

No one has ever taken the pain like Taker has and HHH doesn’t know what to do. The crowd looks HUGE here and the Cole Mine is at ringside with caution tape over it. It was a man that was carted off last night and a lot of people are saying he’s done now. He wants to say one thing. He takes off the glasses and there’s tape on his nose. HHH says thank you to the Undertaker for giving him the fight of his life last night. Undertaker will be back and HHH will be waiting. The fans give him a standing ovation as he leaves.

Apparently Cole is going to invite Lawler out for a match, which is why Lawler has some pads on.

Austin is here tonight and will introduce the cast of Tough Enough.

Jerry is talking to JR about his match last night when Cole comes out in his gear. Jerry doesn’t seem incredibly bothered by the outcome last night. With Shawn now in the Hall of Fame and Cole at 1-0, he‘s the new Mr. Wrestlemania. Jerry says that Cole needs to shut up because a computer beat him. Lawler says he had Cole screaming like a little girl. Cole says how about a rematch (Cole never says with him) and Jerry says let’s do it right now. Cole says not with him, but with Swagger.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

They slug it out a bit and Swagger takes over. A charge into the corner misses and Lawler hammers away but can’t get anywhere. The fans are hot for Jerry. That didn’t sound right. Slam by Swagger but he misses a leg drop. Vader Bomb misses and the Titantron seems to be flickering. Lawler hammers away and gets a dropkick. King goes for the middle rope punch but Cole comes in. Jerry goes after him, only to get locked in the ankle lock for the tap out at 3:55. Swagger won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: D+. Nothing special but then again this was just to further the feud between Lawler and Cole. We’ll ignore the fact that the blowoff should have come last night but at the same time, who cares about logic? Anyway this was just ok with Swagger never being in any real danger. Also it’s good that they had him lose on a technicality as he can’t afford many more losses.

Post match Cole goes into the Cole Mine and finds JR’s Barbecue Sauce. He gets ticked off and sprays it on JR who chases him to the back. So now we have no commentary.

Punk/Rhodes vs. Mysterio/Orton next.

Back with Cole ranting about JR. He’s on commentary now with Booker and Josh.

CM Punk/Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio/CM Punk

Orton and Rhodes give us a Legacy reunion to start us off. Rey comes in and gets a shot to the face, sending Cody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton vs. Rhodes again as Randy drops the knee of him for two. Off to Rey who gets beaten down. Cody gets caught in a small package and it’s off to Orton again.

Punk tries to wrap the bad leg around the post but gets sent into the barricade. Chop block by Cody and Randy is in trouble. Punk sets for the GTS but like any good villain, waits too long and Orton escapes. RKO doesn’t work and it’s back to the leg as we take a second break. When do you ever see that anymore?

Back with Orton in a leg drop but he almost immediately gets a hot tag to Rey who comes in with a seated senton to Punk. He sets for the 619 but Rhodes gets the Beautiful Disaster to take Rey’s head off on the way for two. Back off to Cody who hammers away on Rey even more. Punk works on the arm a bit more as we hit the 15:00 mark for the first time in forever on Raw.

Double tag brings in Orton to use his vast array of clotheslines on Rhodes. The fans are wide awake now after being a bit quiet earlier. Elevated DDT to Rhodes and Randy goes into his zone. HUGE pop for the possibility of the RKO too. Punk distracts so Orton settles for the Angle Slam, likely resulting in that mean old hacker going after the completely innocent Kurt’s Twitter again. 619 sets up the RKO to end it at 16:32.

Rating: B-. I liked this here but for some reason Punk wasn’t in there that much for the first half. It’s nice to see a long match that has the time to build into something decent and this did. These four work pretty well together and they did here. Good stuff overall and a nice little surprise on Raw.

Austin is heading to the ring and runs into HHH. They shake hands and Austin says it was a hell of a match and wants to be there if it happens again. These moments between the big three are pretty awesome.

Sin Cara is coming. Still.

Here’s Austin to talk about Tough Enough. He brings out the kids to his ring. There are 14 of them. The trainers are Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T. There’s only going to be one winner. They all get to introduce themselves and Austin gets annoyed when one guy talks too long. I won’t go through all of them as there’s not much to say. One looks almost exactly like Alicia Fox. Miss USA gets a nice ovation looks rather good. One girl is Latina and speaks Spanish. One is named Eric Watts but thankfully it’s not the more famous version.

They get done and the fans chant “stun them all”. Apparently that girl that looks like Fox does so for a reason: it’s her sister. Austin talks a bit more and here are Miz and Riley (in a tux). Austin says no one is ever going to tell him about being tough or having valor again. We see a clip of Miz getting speared to the floor last night and apparently getting a concussion. I wouldn’t doubt it for a second after his head bounced off that concrete.

Miz heads to the ring and tells the rookies to take a long look at them. He offers Austin a chance to hold his belt. He says Austin thinks he has one more run in him. The fans chant one more match and Miz challenges him to one more match right now. Austin says clear the ring and Miz jumps him. He runs off and it’s down to Austin and Riley.

Riley hammers away but Austin remembers that he’s Austin and beats the tar out of him with the Thesz Press and FU elbow. Big old Stunner sends Riley to the floor. He tosses beers to the Tough Enough kids and the fans aren’t thrilled. Austin walks over to Cole and pours some beer in the Cole Mine.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

No car tonight. Cole talks about how Austin pouring beer on him was him showing how impressed Austin was and initiating him into the brotherhood. Points to Cole for trying as hard as he can here. Alberto controls early but gets caught by a spin kick. That’s about the extent of Bourne’s offense there though as down he goes. Out to the floor and it’s all Del Rio. Chinlock by Alberto and Bourne starts his comeback with various strikes and rollups that get him nowhere. Bourne goes up but the enziguri sets up the Cross Armbreaker to end it at 2:42. Just a squash.

We get a video on Axxess from the previous week. These are cool things to do and it makes WWE look good which is always a good thing.

Cole talks about giving Lawler a rematch next year in the art show but is interrupted by Vickie. She blames Laycool for the loss last night and is in tights. Ziggler wants a mixed tag RIGHT NOW. They head to the ring and we take a break.

Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison/Trish Stratus

Obviously the match is accepted and the guys start us off. Off to the girls after some basic stuff and Vickie actually beats trish up a bit. Something resembling a leg drop misses and it’s back to Morrison. Ziggler gets a big clothesline to turn Morroison inside out and Trish has to save. Dolph gets in his face so she drills him. Moonlight Drive KILLS Ziggler and Starship Pain ends this clean at 3:27.

Rating: C+. A lot of that is for the kick. That thing looked and sounded great. Ziggler selling the hell out of it helps too as Ziggler looked like he got hit by a train. Nice little tag match here and it’s good to see Trish sticking around past Mania. I want to see more of the guys fighting too as they seem to have good chemistry together.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan has the ring jacket back and Sheamus now wears red, white and blue. Sheamus throws him around to start and takes his head off with a double axe handle. Cole talks about how awesome he is again and Sheamus hammers away on Bryan even more. Bryan rolls out of a chinlock but gets caught in a tilt–a–while backbreaker which is now called the Irish Curse by Cole.

Bryan starts his comeback with some clotheslines and a running knee strike for two. Sheamus kicks him in the knee and tries the real Irish Curse which is countered into the LeBell Lock which can’t go all the way on. Brogue Kick ends this at 3:59. Not much here and Bryan was never in any real sense of control.

Rating: C. Just a match here without anything to it for the most part. Sheamus has dominated Bryan in almost every match they’ve had save one. Still a good little match though to set up what’s coming next, which I’ll get to now.

With Sheamus posing the lights go out and it’s SIN CARA! He points at Sheamus and charges the ring, diving over the rop rope and hitting all kinds of high spots, sending Sheamus to the floor and hitting a HUGE dive from the top to the floor, taking out Sheamus. This is like Rey Mysterio back in 96 which if you’re familiar with him is a huge compliment.

Here’s Cena to more insane booing. He says that there was a guy who said he was coming to Wrestlemania to whip some candy ass and Cena is glad he did because otherwise the ending of Wrestlemania would have been a draw. That’s a good point actually. Cena congratulates Miz on coming into and leaving Wrestlemania as the champion. He says that Miz has earned the people’s respect.

That brings him back to that certain someone. That someone doesn’t like Cena that much but he’s here tonight. He was supposed to be the guest host of Wrestlemania but very quickly got into some business. That would be Cena’s business, meaning they have business to settle right now.

Cue Rock to an eruption. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles. Rock says that of course he got involved. Just because Rock has been away that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know about Cena. Cena lives and breathes WWE and Rock says that he is one of the best WWE Champions and superstars of all time. However, Rock just doesn’t like him.

Rock says they’re very different but they both want to be the best. Well other than where they shop as Rock goes to department stores (I guess they sell sleeveless Brahma Bull shirts and workout pants at department stores now) and Cena shops at Baby Gap. Cena: “Oh great. Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy.”

Cena says Rock is the man of the people and the people want to see one match. Never else can you see a match like this so does Rock want to talk or does Rock want to bring it. Cena takes the hat and shirt off and Rock says he has no idea what he just asked for. Rock says he‘ll bring it, but let‘s bring it on the grandest stage of them all. Rock vs. Cena, Wrestlemania 28. Rock sticks out his hand and Cena shakes it, ending the show. Wow are they really going to wait that long?

The music looks to end it and…..here‘s THE CORRE??? Rock and Cena fight them off and it‘s a People‘s Elbow for Barrett followed by an FU for Slater. Cena‘s music plays but Rock hits a Rock Bottom on Gabriel. They stare each other down again and Rock says he‘ll see him at Wrestlemania. They shake hands again and Cena leaves, ending the show.

Overall Rating: A-. As hit and miss as Wrestlemania was last night, this show hit very well. We got continuations of storylines, the debut of a new character, development in Rock vs. Cena and some decent wrestling to boot. I’m not sure where they’re going with Miz or Bryan and various other characters but there was definitely an energy to this show that is carrying over from last night. It wasn’t quite perfect, namely due to Cole getting annoying on multiple occasions but the good certainly outweighs the bad here, making for a great first show post Mania.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 21, 2011
Location: CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Jerry Lawler

With less than two weeks to go before Wrestlemania it’s pretty clear that the card is set.  That being said, it now means that the TV is probably going to get dull as all we have is padding for the upcoming PPV.  I’m not looking for a lot on the next two weeks and next week in particular.  Nothing that I can think of is announced for tonight, so let’s get to it.

We open with Good Old…..Michael Cole in a fat suit with his ankle taped and a bottle of barbecue sauce.  It took the crowd a bit to get the idea but they finally boo the heck out of him.  Cole has cotton in his mouth to simulate Ross’ voice issues.  Funny stuff.

HHH opens us up properly.  His entrances might take longer than Undertaker’s if that’s possible.  HHH talks about how this is the biggest match of his career and how people are finally talking about the match with the signs like 19-0 and 18-1.  He actually says the Streak is bigger than any championship.  I’m kind of surprised to hear that.  HHH wants Undertaker to be here next week for a staredown.  He talks about Taker’s song and that once the Streak is over, Taker is done and that at Mania Undertaker will rest in peace.  Weak promo indeed.

HHH starts to leave but here’s…..Ted DiBiase?  As in Junior.  What the heck does he think he’s doing here?  He talks about how last year he was a rising star and now he’s just another guy.  What would happen if he took out HHH right now on live TV?  Well at least he knows he means nothing.  DiBiase gets in a few shots but winds up getting beaten down to the shock of no one.  HHH beats on DiBiase with a chair and I guess this is to show how ruthless he is.  Pedigree through the announce table and DiBiase is dead.

Cena will be here via satellite tonight.  Oh there are a ton of jokes there.

Miz will be rewriting “Miz-Tory” tonight.  Ok then.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus

This is non-title I think and is happening due to Bourne getting that quick win a few weeks back.  Total Sheamus dominance to start us off here but Bourne gets a kick to put Sheamus down.  Since almost the only move he has is the Shooting Star he tries that and misses.  Brogue Kick ends this in 1:24.

Sheamus says he’s the new US Champion and is awesome.  Bryan comes out and wants his rematch at Mania.  Sheamus kicks him in the head and leaves him laying.  Gee remember a few weeks ago when so many people said Sheamus got buried and I said you were wrong and it wasn’t a burial?  Care to say that you all ran your mouths now and have no idea what you’re talking about?  Go ahead.  Anytime now.

It’s Wrestlemania Rewind tonight with Orton vs. Mysterio vs. the invisible and unnamed Kurt Angle apparently.

Back with Orton getting off a bus and having some interviewer asking him how he’s doing.  Orton talks about being on the bus and liking having his family with him and that he loves watching the video of him punting Nexus over and over again.  All we really get out of this is that he has a bus.  And I’m sure Punk isn’t going to do anything to that bus later.  Not a thing.

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

Non title again as I guess Maryse is heel on Raw and face on NXT.  She gets slapped down as this is about as riveting as you would expect it to be.  After nothing of note is going on, Cole AGAIN interrupts them on the mic and says he has something else to announce tonight that is special and we need to get this match over with.  Standing moonsault to Maryse gets knees but she hits a spinning neckbreaker to end it at 2:20.  Eve goes after Cole and his security takes her out.

Back with Corre in the ring as the tag champions are on Raw for once.  We get a clip from Smackdown of Corre beating the tar out of Kane and Big Show which was nowhere near as epic as they were trying to make it out to be.

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

It’s not a good sign that I had the non-champions names written in before their music hit because they’re the Raw face tag team.  Gabriel vs. Santino to start and Santino wants the Cobra.  He gets his head kicked off instead and it’s off to Slater for the chinlock.  Off to Kozlov as Barrett gets involved.  Slater gets a reverse DDT and the 450 ends this at 1:47.  Total squash.

Show and Kane come down for the save post match.  They clean house and leave Corre laying, including Jackson after a double chokeslam.  I’m guessing this will be at Mania somehow as all four faces stand mostly tall.

Cena’s interview is up next.

Back and we recap Miz destroying Cena to end last week and the last few weeks’ worth of shows.

Cena says that he’s injured and it’s because of Miz. Miz is impressive and deserves to be champion. This is serious Cena here and it’s rather short with one major thing being said: Rock and Cena in the same ring next week. They had to do it sooner or later, but I would have waited until Wrestlemania. Give the fans something very important to see.

Cole’s announcement is up next.

Back with Cole and Swagger running around the ring.  Swagger goes out in front of the announce table (which has been repaired after HHH broke it) and Cole talks about last week with Brian being here, which we get a clip of.  Apparently Brian Christopher sent Cole a gift: the Lawler Family Photo Album.

We get some pictures of Lawler’s father with Cole saying what Lawler’s father is thinking.  Naturally they’re all insults.  Cole says he went to Memphis this week and found out that Lawler and Lawler’s father are very similar: they’re both bullies that back down when someone puts them in their place, like Cole is going to do at Mania.  Lawler has Swagger two feet in front of him which is why he hasn’t charged the ring yet.

Cole calls the Lawler family a bunch of losers and Lawler snaps.  He beats up Swagger a bit and goes after Cole but Swagger gets up and beats him down.  Cole hides in the box and Swagger shoves Lawler’s face into the box while Swagger keeps insulting him.  Ankle lock goes on as does the AnCole Lock (and no I’m not making that name up) which Lawler taps to.  Mad heat on Cole and Swagger as we go to a break.  The build for this has been awesome to say the least.

Mania hype video which is pretty good.  Hard to believe it’s only 13 days away.

Cole apologizes for no apparent reason at all.

That transitions us to talking about…..Snooki.  DAng it.  It’s a recap plus all the media talking about this match and trying to use wrestling lingo while sounding like imbeciles.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Laycool and Vickie are with Dolph and Trish is with Morrison.  Ziggler takes him down to start but Morrison goes all angry.  That gets him caught in a neckbreaker for two to take him down.  Morrison gets going and hits a dropkick.  Michelle stops him from diving over the top and Trish fights off Laycool.  Trish winds up in the ring and it’s E-Mail time.  It’s now a 4-2 handicap match with Laycool/Vickie/Ziggler vs. Trish/Morrison which starts after the break.

Dolph Ziggler/Laycool/Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus/John Morrison

Back with the guys going at it.  Off to Trish and Layla who both look great.  Michelle kicks Trish in the back to shift the momentum and bring in the tall blonde.  I think she got tagged twice but whatever.  Knee to Trish’s head as Trish’s pants seem to be falling a bit.  Back off to Layla as Trish plays Ricky Morton for awhile.  Off to Vickie who misses a drop and it’s off to the men again.  The girls fight elsewhere while Morrison misses Starship Pain.  He gets sent into the post and Ziggler adds a Zig Zag.  Vickie gets the pin at 4:00 shown.

Rating: C. With the girls looking that good out there it’s really hard to say this wasn’t good.  They’re trying to build up Snooki as the X factor here which is what she probably should do at the end of the day.  Nothing too bad here but nothing great, so average sounds like a good grade for it.  The ending was fine and no, Morrison isn’t being buried.

Sin Cara video.  I was a bit underwhelmed the first time I saw this but the more I see it the more I want to see him.

Various stars and legends talk about HHH vs. Undertaker.  The weakest name in there is probably Morrison so they’re having a lot of big names in there.  Guys like Race, Ross, Lawler, Cena, Arn Anderson and Austin talk about it.  Shawn says nothing lasts forever.  Arn says it’s like winning 18 Super Bowls in a row.  Not really but we’ll go with that.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Mysterio’s entrance is after the break.  Back and we see the Orton bus clip from earlier but the audio is messed up.  Rey is in the black and yellow for the Steelers color scheme.  He takes Orton down to his knees but the equally tall from there Orton gets a European uppercut to take Rey down.  Orton does an evil look and throws Rey to the floor.

Back in and Orton’s knee drop gets two.  Rey fights back and gets the seated senton for two.  Orton might have had a chance to block it if he hadn’t been falling down before the move hit.  Orton tries the elevated DDT but Rey counters with something like a slingshot through Orton’s legs which is one of the only counters that I’ve ever seen that was somewhat realistic.  Orton blocks the 619 and hits the DDT.

Orton preps for the RKO but Punk pops up on the screen.  He’s in front of the tour bus from earlier and says he can’t wait to meet Orton’s wife.  Orton sprints to the back (we’ll say the match ended there, meaning it ended at 3:45) and gets jumped by Punk who hits Randy in the knee with a wrench.  Punk says Orton won’t be punting anyone at Mania.  “Now ain’t that a kick in the head.”

HHH and Undertaker will be face to face next week.

Rock will be live next week.

Alex Riley is in the ring which has a red carpet now.  Apparently he’s been rehired (presumably by Miz) as Vice President of Corporate Communications.  He introduces Miz who apparently was the best man at Riley’s wedding.  Miz talks about how people used to come from miles around to see Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan perform and now people come to see Miz.

It’s his time now and while there have been Rock imitators over the years, his impression was the best.  He has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, is more dominant than Andre the Giant and is more intelligent than Rock and Cena combined.  He says that tonight he rewrites “Miztory” and he takes the mic cube off.  He holds it up and turns it upside down, making an M.

Behind him is a table with a sheet over it.  He and Riley pull it off to reveal the WWE Title with the W flipped upside down to make an M.  That’s the new title design apparently.  He hits the catchphrase and Cena pops up on the screen.  He points out that that’s kind of lame, which it is.  Cena says that the WWE Universe knows he’s not invincible and that they also know you shouldn’t make him mad.

Cena has a surprise for them.  Some people in Pittsburgh Penguins shirts pop up and take apart his walls, revealing that he’s really in the arena.  He didn’t lie when he said he was at home, because his home is here with the fans, just like he’s been for 9 years.  Points for being creative there at least.  Miz and Riley beat him down for awhile but Cena fights back.  Miz runs and Riley gets caught in the STF a few times.  Miz comes back but doesn’t come to the ring.  Cena’s music plays us out.

Overall Rating: D+. Yes this was a show based on building for the PPV but it was still pretty boring.  There was an extreme lack of wrestling which is understandable but it doesn’t make it any more interesting.  Not a horrible show but not a good one to say the least.  Rock is going to help next week but I can’t imagine it being anything great.

Results

Sheamus b. Evan Bourne – Brogue Kick

Eve Torres b. Maryse – Spinning Neckbreaker

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov – 450 to Kozlov

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a no contest when Laycool and Trish Stratus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero/Laycool b. John Morrison/Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Morrison after a Zig Zag from Ziggler

Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio went to a no contest when Orton left the ring