Monday Night Raw
Date: August 5, 2013
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back live this week after last week’s not so great taped show. No matches have been announced for tonight that I can remember but there will be Daniel Bryan’s corporate makeover. We’re rapidly approaching Summerslam and there are only three matches announced. Odds are we’ll get a lot of stuff added on tonight and Friday so let’s get to it.

Here’s Stephanie to open the show. She talks about Bryan’s corporate makeover and gives us a video of him being fitted in a suit and having his hair cleaned up. Back in the arena and the fans chant NO. Here’s the improved Bryan in a suit with a ponytail and a beard. He isn’t sure how the fans like it but he doesn’t think this is what the company wants. They clearly want someone in cargo shorts and a yellow t-shirt who will sell a bunch of stuff the people don’t need.

Bryan talks about how Cena has been on the top of the mountain for ten years now because he’s an entertainer, but Bryan is a wrestler. If Cena was fired he’d go back to his mansion and cars and would never have to wrestle again. If Bryan were to be fired tomorrow, he’d be in every armory and gym because that’s what he loves to do. The fans cheer and Bryan thinks they love wrestling too. Bryan says he’ll dress up for now but at Summerslam, he’s going to make John Cena tap out like everyone wants him to do.

This brings out Vince who says he appreciates Stephanie’s efforts and thinks Bryan has given it the old college try but it’s not perfect. Vince talks about how he doesn’t want Bryan or Cena to be champion because we’ve never had a dwarf as champion. Bryan is so unkempt that he looks like a miniature Mick Foley but maybe we can work something out. There’s one final thing that needs to go though: the beard. Vince calls for the barber’s chair but Bryan says no. The boss talks about how Bryan will do this if he wants to be WWE Champion and this is the first step.

Bryan gets out of the ring and takes off the suit jacket but Vince says we need a barber. The barber is going to be….Wade Barrett? Wade gets ready to shave him but Bryan jumps him and shaves off Wade’s beard (or at least half of it) before sending Barrett into the crowd. Bryan says he won’t change for Vince because he’s going to be who he is and then be WWE champion. He takes off the shirt to reveal a t-shirt saying The Beard Is Here with an arrow pointing up. Vince is ticked.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Miz is on commentary. Non-title again and Ricardo is back, a week earlier than the reported return date. Del Rio attacks to start but Van Dam fires back with forearms to the jaw. A standing moonsault gets two and Del Rio rolls to the floor, only to have Rob hit a moonsault off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Van Dam blocking a shot into the buckle and kicking Del Rio down.

Rolling Thunder misses and Alberto’s low superkick gets two. Alberto misses his running enziguri in the corner and Van Dam kicks him down before. Rolling Thunder connects for two but the split legged moonsault hits knees. Ricardo puts the bucket in the corner but it’s Alberto being sent face first into it, giving Van Dam a rollup for the pin at 6:14. Not long enough shown to rate but did we really need this loss?

Post match Del Rio superkicks Ricardo and hits him with the bucket before crushing him between the steps and the post.

Here’s Cody Rhodes in the ring to talk about Sandow jumping him from behind last week. He has a present for Sandow in a box but first, we look at their issues over the past few weeks. Back in the arena and Cody opens the box: the crushed briefcase, complete with seaweed hanging off the side. Here’s Damien himself to say put the case down and walk away. Cody puts it down but charges at Sandow and the fight is on. Cody kicks him to the floor and opens the case to reveal the actual contract. Rhodes puts it back in the case and throws it back at Sandow who doesn’t pick it up.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

They stare each other down and Ryback grabs a headlock to start. Henry runs him over with a shoulder but Ryback goes after Henry’s knee. Mark comes back and knocks Ryback to the floor…..and Ryback walks out at 1:46. Thanks for this one guys.

The Bellas are arguing over who looked better on Total Divas. Eva Marie comes up to laugh about how they made Natalya look stupid last week. Natalya comes up and slaps a Bella, likely setting up a match later.

Here’s Cena with something to say. Cena says he’s used to being a target but most of the time the people are just mad at him. Every once in awhile though he has to face a true fan favorite, which means the people have to choose. He’s been listening to the people and it’s obvious the fans Daniel Bryan. Cena heard what the people said and he doesn’t blame them.

He also heard what Daniel Bryan said earlier and it made Daniel Bryan sound ignorant. Daniel Bryan said the same things that The Rock and CM Punk and everyone else who doesn’t like the color of Cena’s shirt or the kind of cereal he eats. Cena was back a day after breaking his neck and his elbow looks like a football but he’s here because he loves it.

Bryan talked about wrestling in armories and gyms because that’s where he’s most comfortable. Daniel was right that if Cena was fired tomorrow he’d never wrestle again because he wouldn’t settle for anything but the best and he wouldn’t tarnish the WWE by going elsewhere. Cena has heard people tell him he can’t wrestle for years and he knows what it sounds like. He’s been WWE Champion 11 times and that’s too many times to be lucky. Cena thinks the fans want to see Bryan vs. Cena right now and there’s the YES chant.

This is a huge match for Bryan and if he wins, he’s earned the WWE Championship, but if he loses he has to admit that he’s not good enough. Bryan is on fire but Cena has been mowing people down since January. At Summerslam the people can cheer for whomever they want, but Cena is walking out champion. Excellent stuff here that sets up the dynamic of the match perfectly.

Cena drops the mic but here’s Orton. He talks about how Cena is always aware of the target on his back but he never remembers the target in front of his face. The briefcase is what matters because it means Orton will be WWE Champion. It could happen at Summerslam, it could happen the night after, or it could happen at Wrestlemania. All it means is that the champ is here, not with Cena.

Cue Shield of all people as things get even more interesting. They surround the stars but here’s Bryan (still in the ponytail) for the save. Shield runs off now that the odds are even but it’s GM time, with Maddox making the six man main event. When did Maddox shrink and become a bald black man?

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk

Harper starts with Tensai and shouts yeah a lot. A big boot puts Tensai down and it’s off to Rowan for forearms in the corner but he runs into an elbow. Tensai puts him down with a clothesline and everything breaks down with Rowan running Brodus down. Harper’s discus lariat sets up a splash from Rowan to pin Tensai at 1:20.

Post match Bray gets in and hits Sister Abigail on Brodus before grabbing a mic. He says Kane isn’t a monster but rather an illusion. The demon is a lie but he himself is much different. He’s the man of 1000 truths and the eater of worlds. He is forever and follow the buzzards. Wyatt kneels over Brodus but Kane’s pyro lights up the arena.

On screen, Kane says that when you pull the wings off a buzzard, they’re impossible to follow. He sees through Bray’s words and sees that Bray is here to maim everyone in his path. Kane likes that and does them as well, but he does them for amusement, not to spread a message. Bray will find out why Kane is the devil’s favorite demon at Summerslam. Not the Family nor anyone else can save Wyatt from the ring of fire. Fire shoots out of the posts and Bray drops to his knees in laughter.

Punk is in the back and wants to talk about Curtis Axel’s dad Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan. The difference between those two and Axel/Heyman is Perfect had his own thoughts when he was on screen with Heenan. The younger version having Heyman as his guide is going to earn him a beating tonight. After that, Punk is going to take the Beast’s manhood away, just like he promised.

Kaitlyn vs. Layla

Thankfully Layla hasn’t dropped the shorts. Layla says she turned on Kaitlyn for the attention and she’s coming for all the regular divas and the Total Divas. Kaitlyn takes her down to start and pounds away so Layla runs to the ropes. The referee pulls Kaitlyn away, allowing Layla to take over with a DDT. Layla chokes away in the corner and slams Kaitlyn face first into the mat. She charges into a backbreaker though and Kailtyn starts her comeback. The gutbuster puts Kaitlyn down but here’s AJ to distract Kaitlyn from the spear. Layla bails to the apron but an AJ distraction lets Layla kick Kaitlyn in the head for the pin at 2:59.

Kaitlyn and Layla skip around the ring post match. Apparently that kick is called the Bombshell.

We recap Cody and Sandow’s issues from earlier. Cody vs. Sandow is official for Summerslam.

Christian vs. Heath Slater

Christian sends him into 619 position but can’t uppercut Slater because of the other Band members. Slater takes over with some forearms to the chest and it’s off to the chinlock. Slater jumps off the middle rope and lands on Christian’s boot and a flapjack sets up a middle rope dropkick for two for Christian. Slater is knocked to the apron and backdropped back inside so the sunset flip out of the corner can get two. Slater stops to dance but gets caught by the spear for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. This was a better match than I was expecting but it still was nothing great. Christian looked good and gets a win before the PPV, unlike Del Rio earlier. That being said, it would appear that Del Rio wins at Summerslam because that’s what WWE does. Why they think losing all the matches until winning the blowoff makes things ok I’m not sure, but that’s the status quo.

CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title of course. Punk charges up the ramp before the bell and the brawl starts near the stage. Punk keeps trying to get to Heyman who has gone backstage. They head to the ring with Punk in control and the bell rings. Axel takes over with some chops but Punk takes him down into an Indian Deathlock of all things. Before he falls down with the hold, Punk spits in the air and tries to slap it away ala Mr. Perfect and the gum. Axel rolls to the floor and gets caught with the suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Axel cranking on an armbar and elbowing Punk in the face for two. A middle rope elbow sets up another chinlock from Axel as Heyman comes back to ringside. Punk finally rolls out of the hold and crawls over at Heyman, only to be clotheslined down for two. Punk comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner but a Heyman distraction lets Curtis take over. CM comes back with a kick to the head and the running knee in the corner but Curtis breaks up the Macho Elbow. The McGillicutter gets two but Punk kicks Axel in the head again. Not that it matters as he goes after Heyman, drawing a DQ at 10:22.

Rating: C+. I was digging this match until the end but the ending kind of sucked. To be fair though they didn’t have Axel do another job which is the right idea. Punk vs. Lesnar is going to be golden and the hatred that Punk has for Heyman is selling this feud as perfectly as you could ask it to. Decent match here with Axel getting to look good.

Post match here’s Lesnar but Axel pulls Punk to the floor. Punk takes him down with a GTS and grabs a chair but brock takes it away. Punk fires off forearms and kicks to the head to stagger Brock and a flying forearm off the table takes Brock down. Not that it matters as Lesnar casually grabs him and throws him down with a belly to belly. They head inside but Punk escapes the F5 and hits Brock in the back with the chair. Heyman is in the ring and drops to his knees in terror but Lesnar takes the chair away from Punk and lays him out with the F5. Brock nails Punk in the back with the chair for good measure.

After a break Lesnar wants to know if that’s the best the world has to offer. Heyman says next week, he’s going to the ring and giving Punk a chance at a man vs. man fight.

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is much skinnier and is in long tights now. Fandango takes over quickly to start and takes Kofi down as the announcers talk about ballet. A quick chinlock sets up a dropkick to Kofi but a middle rope knee drop misses. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop but Fandango bails from Trouble in Paradise. Fandango gets in a kick of his own but misses the legdrop, allowing Kofi to get two off a cross body. Trouble in Paradise is good for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. I hope that was just ring rust from Kofi as he didn’t look very good out there at all. The fans didn’t seem to care about him at all and the tights aren’t working for him. Fandango has fallen since that concussion and it’s a shame to see the booking go this way for him. Kofi didn’t look all that good though and hopefully he gets better.

HHH is in the office when Stephanie comes in crying. Vince hated the segment and HHH goes NUTS, ranting and raving about how Vince is no longer a creative genius and goes on his own whims. HHH isn’t going to stand by and watch the ship go down and he’s going to do something about Vince.

Real Americans vs. Usos

Colter resorts to making fun of cheese and the Green Bay Packers to get heat. Jey runs over Swagger for two to start but gets caught in the powerslam/belly to belly for two. Off to Cesaro for a double stomp for two more before Jack comes in with a shoulder to the leg. Swagger finally misses the Vader Bomb and it’s hot tag to Jimmy. Everything breaks down and Jimmy hits a big dive to take Swagger out. Cesaro jumps into part of a superkick but gets out at two. A Colter distraction lets Cesaro hit a quick Neturalizer for the pin on Jimmy at 3:52.

Rating: D+. This was ok but I’m having a bit of trouble buying the Real Americans as a threat after all those matches they lost. The Usos are the latest team to get going for a few weeks and then fall back into jobber status a few weeks later. That’s WWE booking for you because Heaven forbid anyone get hot when it’s not for a title.

Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler hits a quick dropkick for one and gets out of a gorilla press, only to be knocked off the apron and out to the floor. Back in and Langston puts on an abdominal stretch for a big. Big E. misses a charge into the post and Ziggler snaps off a quick Stinger Splash and a neckbreaker for two. Ziggler tries to speed things up but gets caught in a drop into a backbreaker to put him down. Langston misses a splash and Dolph mostly misses a Fameasser for two. Kaitlyn comes out to go after AJ because that feud hasn’t gone on long enough. The girls get in the ring and Big E. runs Dolph over. Big Ending and we’re done at 4:14.

Rating: D+. The crowd didn’t care here and I don’t think they’ll care much more about the tag match this sets up for Summerslam. Why Ziggler would want to team with Kaitlyn after this I’m not sure as she just cost him a match but that’s WWE logic for you. Not much to see here but Langston clearly has a ton of potential.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton vs. Shield

The bell rings at 10:59 so don’t expect much from this one. Orton starts with Rollins and it’s Seth in early trouble. A suplex puts him down and it’s off to Bryan with a middle rope dropkick but Ambrose gets the tag. That’s cool with Bryan as he runs Dean over with a clothesline and sends him to the floor for the FLYING GOAT.

Reigns gets in a shot on the floor to take over and it’s Bryan as your face in peril. Rollins hooks a chinlock before it’s off to Roman for some power. A double gutbuster gets two on Bryan but he charges over for the tag to Cena….but the referee doesn’t see it. Everything breaks down anyway and Bryan gets the YES Lock on Rollins, drawing in the other Shield members for the DQ at 5:26.

Rating: C-. This was what you would have expected. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just there to set up the post match stuff. I’m not a fan of endings like that because there are saves made all the time that don’t draw DQ’s. This was crippled by a lack of time which is a shame.

Post match Orton lays out Bryan with an RKO but has to help Cena clear the ring. Shield runs and there’s an RKO to Cena. Orton GETS THE BRIEFCASE but Shield comes down and beats up Cena and Bryan even more. Orton walks away in a heelish move and Bryan takes a TripleBomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day towards Summerslam as we added a match and enhanced a lot of the others. The matches were good enough tonight but this was all about the promos and storytelling which often make for better episodes. Bryan vs. Cena is going to be AWESOME with both guys trying to prove the other wrong and the promos showed that. Punk vs. Lesnar looks good with Punk trying to slay the monster and the physical side has a chance. Good but not great show tonight.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rolling Cradle

Mark Henry b. Ryback via countout

Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Clay

Layla b. Kaitlyn – Bombshell Kick

Christian b. Heath Slater – Spear

Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise

Real Americans b. Usos – Neutralizer to Jimmy Uso

Big E. Langston b. Dolph Ziggler – Big Ending

Randy Orton/John Cena/Daniel Bryan b. Shield via DQ when Ambrose and Reigns wouldn’t leave the ring

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 2011
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indianapolis
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Tonight we continue the road to Summerslam with the first public statement from the champ (I think) CM Punk. HHH is still in charge and in theory JR will he here as well. We’ll probably start the building to the PPV as there are only two Raws left before the show, which has really snuck up on us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of what got us to have two champions. I still don’t see why Vince didn’t strip Punk of the title as MITB went off the air or book him in a “champion can lose the title by countout” match with anyone he could find.

Here’s Punk, still with the new song, to open the show. He holds up the belt to a solid reaction and declares that THE CHAMP IS HERE. He has a story to tell us. Punk says he knew for about a year that his contract was going to be up. He loves working in WWE but not the bosses. He spoke his mind and we managed to get some change out of it. Vince has been relieved of his duties and that’s change.

Punk takes some credit but the fans are to be thanked also. Punk is here to make this fun again but he couldn’t do that from his couch in Chicago. He made the call to come back and the timing couldn’t be better. Cena may have a belt but what Punk has is a championship title. This title means that he’s the best wrestler in the world.

Cue HHH who says he brought back Punk because it was good for business. That’s why he brought back JR and Morrison (again, when was he actually gone other than to injury?): business. Personally though, HHH thinks Punk is smug, overrated and believes his own hype too much. Punk says it’s like looking in a mirror.

The champion talks about how Vince has let guys go that are main event level talent: guys like Batista, Foley, Jericho and Lesnar. HHH says if you want to tell the truth, why not do it about why you re-signed? Punk isn’t sure about this but HHH says it’s because he wanted to hear his own voice. Punk has called the microphone a pipe bomb, but what happens if no one is around to hear a pipe bomb? He needs the WWE Universe for the platform.

Punk calls that a 50/50 shot, but the truth is that he’s the WWE Champion. HHH says that’s true but so is Cena. HHH says he’ll fix that tonight and his music plays him out. Punk says cut the music, even though he loves Motorhead. He says he’s just getting warmed up. Punk isn’t going to shut up just because he signed a contract. If Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Punk’s words) wants to talk about egos, let’s talk about HHH’s.

We get references to HHH using his power backstage that he got from sleeping with the boss’ daughter and how he held everyone down. That’s true to a degree but that’s a big debate for later. HHH says because he’s the boss, he can’t break certain rules, even though he wants to take Punk’s head off. “Can you do that, or do you need to go ask your wife first?” Punk leaves HHH who is kind of smiling.

Rey has a tag match later and Morrison dives over him. They get Miz/Truth later.

Oh great there’s a Divas battle royal next.

Divas Battle Royal

Picture every Diva who isn’t champion and they’re in this. Kelly is on commentary here. They’re going out incredibly fast. We’re down to Alicia, Beth, Natalya, Eve and the Bellas. Scratch Nattie from that. This match actually takes a break. Really? Back with more boring Divas action. Alicia is out. There’s nothing to talk about here because they’re just trying to put each other out. Even looks good in pink though. Eve is out and landed pretty badly. Beth puts both Bellas out (one on each shoulder) to win at 7:18.

Rating: D. So? It’s the same stuff as always and it never was very interesting at all. There’s nothing else to say here as most of the match was either rapid eliminations or the commercial. It was what it was and that’s about all there is to say about it. At least Beth can destroy her now.

Post match Kelly goes in to hug her like an idiot and Beth turns heel and kills her, thank goodness.

Truth comes up to Miz and says they’re a lot alike. Miz disagrees so Truth says that having two WWE champions is bad. It’s horrible. It’s…..”A conspiracy?” Miz doesn’t like this and tells Truth to leave. Truth wants to know why HHH had them in a tournament if he was just going to bring back Punk. I guess we’re ignoring Vince making that tournament now.

Cena says his focus tonight is HHH because there are two WWE Champions. The decision is tonight so Cena will be there for it.

The Miz/R-Truth vs. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Miz vs. Morrison starts us off. John keeps going after Truth which lets Miz get a shot in. Suplex gets two. Nice leg sweep puts Miz down and it’s off to Rey. Seated Senton off the top gets two. Miz is sent to the floor as is truth. Rey hits a seated senton off the apron to take Truth down and John dives over the top with a corkscrew dive to mostly hit Miz and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding Rey in a camel clutch. During the break the evildoers actually didn’t cheat to take over. Nice to see for a change. Truth continues his old school offense with an abdominal stretch. Rey fires off but it’s off to Miz who gets a seated boot for two and we hit the chinlock. Enziguri puts Miz down but he keeps the tag from being made. Back to the chinlock, this time by Truth.

Big spinning forearm gets two on Mysterio. Rey dives again for the ropes but Miz makes the save again. Nice little story there for the match. Miz hits his corner clothesline but goes up and dives into a dropkick. There’s the hot tag to Morrison who gets a solid pop. See what happens when you build something up?

He cleans house and hits the C4 to Truth for two. He loads up Starship Pain but Miz pulls Truth out of the way. Back inside an axe kick misses and a Pele kick sends Truth into the 619 position. Miz makes the save and sends him into the crowd. Moonlight Drive hits Miz but Morrison walks into that jumping downward spiral for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: B. See, THIS I can get into. They built up the hot tag all match and the payoff for it was a solid reaction from the crowd. Things can be so simple and yet can still work very well. I liked it rather well here and Morrison’s mistakes were played up well by Miz and Truth, who caught him in his mistakes. Nice to see and it’s called psychology. Makes me all tingly.

Post match Truth hits Morrison with a bottle of water and Morrison takes the Finale.

HHH says nothing of note.

Summerslam Recall is Warrior taking the title from Honky in probably the best Summerslam moment for the vast majority of the series.

Here are Dolph and Vickie. I’m still not sure on the song. Vickie says her catchphrase a lot and wants to know why Dolph hasn’t been getting enough attention. Dolph says he’s more of a man than anyone in the arena and anyone in the back. Cue…..Alex Riley? I think I can work with this. Riley wants to know when Ziggler is going to accomplish something without Vickie. Dolph has Vickie step aside….and leaves.

Santino Marella/Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty

This is non-title and the Nexus name has been dropped it seems. King mentioned Ryder’s show before the breaHe gets the hot tag to a ROAR but gets beaten down after a brief flurry. Santino is sent to the floor and Ryder misses the Rough Ryder. He gets caught in something like a Demolition Decapitator at 2:22. This was fine.

We get some of the earlier exchange between the Game and Punk.

Punk says he’s the champ.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne runs into a boot to start and the beating begins. Del Rio’s arm work is great as the psychology of the match is perfect for him. His finisher is an arm hold so why would he work on anything but the arm? That’s basic psychology for you: why would you do something to say Bourne’s back if you’re going to work on the arm to end it? Bourne makes a brief comeback and the armbreaker ends this at 2:30.

Post match he puts the hold on again and Kofi comes out for the save.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement on who should be champion. He’s about to say it but John Lauranitis (you try to spell it) comes out and says executive VP and in charge of signing talent. HHH doesn’t look happy here. Johnny Ace (see why he got that name?) says Vince would want Cena stripped of the title. That brings out Cena who says that Ace never thinks and is the yes man that Punk was talking about.

Cena says that he’s not going to strip the title because it would devalue the title. He talks about how he wants to hit Ace again because that was his favorite part about Money in the Bank. HHH: “I don’t have any problem with that.” Ace leaves and HHH says he’s not stripping the title. Punk only came back to WWE when Cena was pinning Rey and said to hit his music. HHH again says he won’t strip the title and that brings out the other champion.

Punk doesn’t like the idea that HHH is going to strip him of the title which he has a legit claim to also. HHH says that’s not what he was going to do and tells them to quit whining. Also to Cena, it’s not Hunter. He’s Cena’s boss. At Summerslam it’s the rematch for one undisputed champion. Kind of lackluster the way he said it but it’s the only way they can do it.

HHH leaves and they stare each other down. Punk holds up his title and his music plays us out. Scratch that as Cena holds his up and that music plays us off. Punk goes onto the ropes and now HIS song plays. This is kind of awesome. Now Cena does the same but Punk’s is the last one heard after it changes like 8 times total.

Overall Rating: B. This was a hit and miss show. The HHH and Punk stuff was good and the tag match was good, but the rest of the show was building to other shows later in the future, which is ok but a little boring for a TV show. Summerslam is looking better now though as you can see a lot of the matches coming into focus. Good sign and a good building show here, but not great due to the wrestling being subpar.

Results

Beth Phoenix won a Divas Battle Royal

The Miz/R-Truth b. John Morrison/Rey Mysterio – What’s Up to Morrison

Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga b. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella – Middle rope elbow/backbreaker combination to Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Evan Bourne – Cross Armbreaker

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 29, 2013
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

This is a rare taped episode of the show as the main guys are off in Australia at the moment for an international tour. We’re only a few weeks away from Summerslam and the main event matches are set, so most of the next few weeks will be about firming things up for the big show. We also have Cena vs. Ryback in a tables match and Bryan vs. Kane in a double main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bryan running the gauntlet last week and Cena saving him from Ryback to close the show.

Here are Vince and Maddox to open the show. Brad apologizes for allowing Cena to pick his Summerslam opponent. Vince talks about Brad calling Bryan a psychologically disturbed troll who doesn’t have the aura of being a WWE Champion. Before Maddox can say how he REALLY feels about Bryan, here’s Goat face himself. Daniel says the words might have come out of Maddox’s mouth but they were dictated by Vince. McMahon says Bryan interrupted him and that’s disrespectful.

Bryan says that he’s worked hard for Vince over the years and hasn’t gotten a bit of respect in return. The fans keep chanting and Vince can’t get them to shut up. McMahon asks if Bryan respects Cena and Bryan says he does, but Vince thinks Cena is lying. Vince calls Cena a master manipulator and says Bryan is falling for the whole thing. Bryan is lacking the ruthless aggression to launch him to the top, but Cena doesn’t have it anymore either.

Vince says Cena walks around like he owns the place and Vince can’t stand it. He doesn’t want Cena to win at Summerslam either, but rather that both spontaneously combust, making Vince the winner at Summerslam. Bryan says it doesn’t matter what Vince thinks but rather what the people think. The people want a new champion named Daniel Bryan and a HUGE YES chant strikes up as Bryan leaves.

Mark Henry/Usos vs. Shield

Ambrose starts with Henry but Dean is easily thrown around. Rolins gets the same treatment so here’s Reigns to try his luck. Mark offers a test of strength but kicks Roman in the ribs to take over instead. Henry takes him into the corner and it’s off to Jey for some speed. Reigns easily takes him down and it’s time to start the Shield attack in the corner. Jey escapes and makes the hot tag to Jimmy who cleans a few rooms of the house before tagging in Henry.

A running elbow misses Ambrose and Dean goes crazy on the big man. Henry easily blocks a double suplex and sends Shield to the floor for a double suicide dive by the brothers. Back from a break with Roman holding Jey in an armbar. Ambrose comes in to work on Jey as well but a jawbreaker gets Jey out of trouble. Dean misses a charge into the post but Rollins breaks up the hot tag.

As usual the hot tag comes a few seconds later with Henry cleaning house. Ambrose gets tossed around but Reigns spears Mark down to stop him cold. Jimmy tags himself in and gets two off a high cross body to Dean. A Samoan drop looks to set up the Superfly Splash but Ambrose gets the knees up. Bulldog driver to Jimmy is good for the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C-. This was pretty pedestrian stuff but it picked up a bit at the end. I’m guessing the Usos were a transition from one feud to another for Shield which is fine. If nothing else we got a good match out of them at MITB. Anyway nothing to see here but they kept Henry strong which is the right idea.

Henry clears the ring post match.

We get a clip of Ryback bullying a backstage guy at catering. He keeps talking trash and throws the guy through a table. THIS is how you get him over as a heel.

Video on the Wyatts.

Kane wants the Wyatts but Maddox says they’re not here yet. If Kane wants to send a message to them, go beat Daniel Bryan.

Rob Van Dam vs. Fandango

Feeling out process to start until Van Dam kicks Fandango out to the floor. A moonsault from the apron takes the dancer our and the fans LOVE them some Van Dam. Fandango snaps the neck across the top rope to take over and it’s off to the chinlock. A kick to Van Dam’s head gets two but Rob comes back with more kicks of his own and Rolling Thunder gets two. Van Dam hits the springboard kick to the face and loads up the Five Star but Fandango bails for the countout at 4:09.

Rating: D. We really need to protect Fandango from a former world champion? The match was nothing but Van Dam’s return continues to get a strong reaction for not much substance. I don’t get the point in protecting the dancer though given that there’s nothing to him at the moment anyway.

AJ freaks out about fighting Kaitlyn again because Langston doesn’t help her. She accuses Big E. of liking him and Langston feels uncomfortable but AJ laughs and skips off.

Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

Non-title. AJ takes over to start and has that insane look on her face the entire time. Katilyn throws her off and loads up the spear but a running knee to the head puts her back down. An armbar doesn’t get AJ anywhere as Kaitlyn comes back with a backbreaker. AJ comes back with another armbar as we hear about Tweets from Vickie. Kaitlyn fights up and hits the spear out of nowhere for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. You remember those matches between these two that had a ton of heat and were awesome? This is the total opposite at it was just there to fill in a few minutes and set up yet another rematch. They took out all the good parts of this feud and turned it into the same exact thing that plagued the division for years.

Post match AJ freaks out and here’s Ziggler to stir the pot. He suggests AJ sleep with Langston later because Ziggler wants Big E. RIGHT NOW.

Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler

I would have thought this was a Summerslam match. Langston runs Ziggler over to start and talks a lot of trash. He throws Dolph around even more and throws on a bearhug to work on the ribs a bit as a good power man would. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Ziggler’s back as the fans aren’t all that interested so far. Langston talks even more trash about how it’s his time (isn’t that infringing on Cena’s gimmick?) before missing a charge into the post. Ziggler dropkicks him to the floor but AJ runs in for the DQ at 5:29.

Rating: D+. ANOTHER dull match tonight with the ending being as obvious as you could ask it to be. I’m guessing the guys are tired from the accelerated schedule but this show has almost no energy tonight at all. This match screamed Summerslam rematch to me which is probably the right idea.

Langston takes a Zig Zag post match.

Bryan comes in to see Cena and asks if what Vince said is true. Cena says Vince is trying to sell tickets and wants to know if Bryan is calling him a liar. Bryan says nothing and Cena leaves.

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Del Rio takes Christian to the mat with a headlock before they both what looked to be a jumping clothesline from Christian. Del Rio stomps him down in the corner and hits a snap suplex for two. Christian sends him into the middle rope and hits the uppercut, only to charge into a superkick to the ribs. Del Rio charges into the corner but gets backdropped to the floor. Christian charges at Del Rio but hits the steps, allowing Del Rio to hit a running dropkick to send the arm into the steps.

Back with Del Rio stomping on the arm and jumping from the second rope for another shot. Christian is put in the Tree of Woe but manages to fight out of the reverse superplex. A middle rope missile dropkick puts the champion down but Christian misses a charge and sends the bad arm into the post again. Del Rio pounds away for another two count and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same. Alberto misses a middle rope backsplash but runs away from a spear. Back in and the low superkick gets two but the armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin for Christian at 13:46.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t bad but it’s in the middle of a very boring show. Here’s the flaw with Del Rio: a win here doesn’t mean much for Christian as Del Rio already lost ten days ago to Orton, so it’s not like him losing is a huge surprise. Christian getting the title shot would be fine, but it’s not like he’s got a chance at the title or anything.

We recap Bryan’s gauntlet match last week.

Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett

Before the match we get a recap of Cody stealing Sandow’s briefcase and throwing it in the Gulf of Mexico. Cody attacks to start but gets sent to the floor. Barrett rams him into the barricade and gets two off a backbreaker. Wade sends Cody chest first into the corner and hits a slingshot backbreaker for two more. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cody starts his comeback. He mostly misses the moonsault press but hits a running knee to the jaw for two. The Disaster Kick misses but Barrett’s pumphandle is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. Notice something here: Cody is winning matches and his push is starting to work. Seriously, the solution to getting someone over is to have them win matches. I know that’s completely against WWE’s booking philosophy lately, but it’s true: if you have someone win matches, they’re more likely to get over.

Post match here’s Sandow to talk about how he was the intellect of the Rhodes Scholars. “I saves the unwashed masses and you grew a mustache.” Sandow says he’s from a family of scholars and Cody is from a family of clowns and he doesn’t associate with carny folk.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

Kane kicks him down to start but gets caught in a half crab to stop the momentum. The big man easily kicks him off and kicks a charging Bryan’s head off. A suplex gets two for Kane and it’s off to a neck crank. The low dropkick gets two more as the fans try to wake up a bit. Back to the crank but Bryan fights up with strikes. The running clothesline can’t drop Kane but Bryan escapes the chokeslam. He sends Kane to the floor for the knee off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Bryan escaping a chinlock and firing off some kicks in the corner. A dropkick gets two and Bryan fires off the running dropkicks in the corner. Kane comes back with the side slam for two and there’s the top rope clothesline. Bryan escapes the chokeslam and fires off more kicks, only to have Kane grab another chokeslam. Bryan rolls him up into a small package for the pin, like he did to Cesaro last week, at 12:46.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but not much to see. I’m kind of glad this happened on Raw instead of at a big PPV which is what everyone was thinking would happen. That would have been a little too by the book for me which would have hurt the match. Either way, at least Bryan gets another win.

Post match Kane chokeslams Bryan anyway but here come the Wyatts. Kane is surrounded by the monsters but he hits the floor to go right after Bray. The numbers catch up to him though as Wyatt looks on. Harper’s discus lariat puts Kane down and here’s Wyatt in the ring. Sister Abigail lays Kane out and Bray grabs the mic. He’s heard that Kane calls himself the devil’s favorite demon. Kane isn’t a demon though and he needs to watch who he says those things in front of. Follow the buzzards.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Natalya hits a quick snap suplex for two but Brie grabs her in a chinlock. That goes nowhere and a slam puts Brie down. Brie charges into a boot in the corner and a discus lariat puts Brie down for two. Natalya loads up a Boston crab but here’s Nikki with a duck call. The distraction lets Brie get the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D-. Next. That is all.

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth

Non-title again. Before the match Heyman talks about how aweoms Axel is like only he can. Axel pounds way but Truth hits the release front suplex. The ax kick misses and Axel stays on Truth. The cutter into the neckbreaker looks to end things but here’s Punk to throw the match out at about 2:45.

Post match Heyman runs away as the other guys fight.

Vince tells HHH he’s using reverse psychology on Bryan because he wants someone like HHH to beat Cena. Vince makes jokes about HHH’s age but Stephanie comes in to cool things down. She recommends a corporate makeover. Oh joy.

Ryback vs. John Cena

Tables match. This has been the house show main event for months. Ryback pounds on him to start but Cena clotheslines him out to the floor. The first table is pulled out but Ryback gets in a quick shot to stop Cena. He tries to ram the table into Cena against the post but John moves out of the way. We take a really abrupt break and come back with Ryback in control. Cena escapes the powerbomb on the floor but Ryback rams him into the post to keep momentum.

Ryback sets up the steps and bridges a table between them and the ring. Cena gets in a shot and tries to put Ryback through the table but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Back in and Cena grabs a quick STF but Ryback pulls himself into the ropes, literally forcing a break. Cena throws a table out to the floor but Ryback hides under the ring. He pops out the other side and spears Cena down before setting up an identicle table to steps bridge. One of them is shoved over but Cena can’t get the AA.

Instead Ryback pounds Cena down and tries a gorilla press but Cena slides to the other side of the table. Ryback crushes the table with the steps so Cena picks up a set of his own. They throw the steps at each other and amazingly enough they bounce off each other. Back inside and the ProtoBomb onto the steps puts Ryback down. There’s the Shuffle but Ryback stops him from setting up a table with the over the shoulder Stunner. The table is set up in the corner and the Meat Hook puts Cena down. Ryback loads up another but Cena catches him in the AA through the table for the win at 16:30.

Rating: C+. Match of the night here but that’s not saying much at all. The good thing about having the same match so many times on house shows is you can have a good version of it by muscle memory alone, so the result here was pretty good. A ticked off and violent Ryback works as a villain (assuming he actually wins something one day) so the result was pretty good.

Post match here’s Bryan to take the belt but Cena snatches it back, saying Bryan has to earn this. A YES chant ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show never once got interesting. I’m guessing it’s due to the show being taped, but there was nothing on here to get fired up about at all. It’s like they threw three hours of TV out there and hoped people would get into it at some point. This was very dull and felt like it was eight hours long instead of three.

Results

Shield b. Mark Henry/Usos – Bulldog Driver to Jimmy

Rob Van Dam b. Fandango via countout

Kaitly b. AJ Lee – Spear

Dolph Ziggler b. Big E. Langston via DQ when AJ interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

Brie Bella b. Natayla – Rollup

John Cena b. Ryback – AA through a table

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 27, 1998
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 12,019
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Fully Loaded and we have new tag champions in Austin/Undertaker. We’re officially headed to Summerslam now which I believe is in four weeks. They’ll be defending tonight in the main event against the Outlaws. Other than that there isn’t much else to talk about. Let’s get to it.

We open with stills of Taker tombstoning Kane to win the titles and then leaving with both belts.

Here’s Taker to open the show with both belts. He talks about beating Kane last night and now he and Austin are the champions. They’ll be champions but they’ll never be partners until Austin apologizes. That brings out Undertaker who doesn’t believe what he just heard. Vince says that he believes there’s a conspiracy because he would have done the same thing Taker had done last night if he was trying to screw Austin. It took three tombstones to beat Kane at Wrestlemania but one last night.

Therefore, if anyone deserves an apology, it’s Vince. Vince is hurt after the chokeslam last week so Taker should apologize. Tonight the new champions defend against the Outlaws. Vince says he won’t leave until he gets an apology. Here’s Austin who tells Vince to leave because he’s got nothing to say to him. As for the apology, here’s a middle finger for Taker instead.

Vader vs. D’Lo Brown

Vader pounds him down to start and Brown looks for mercy in the ropes. Brown fights back with rights of his own and slams Vader like it’s nothing. He does it again and hits a moonsault for two. They go to the outside and Vader takes off the chest protector. A splash on the floor is enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. It says a lot when you get slammed by D’Lo. I mean….he’s D’Lo Brown. This went nowhere but I think the idea was to keep Vader strong so that when he’s jobbing for everyone else there’s still the tiniest bit of value to a win over him. The match itself was nothing though.

Here’s Droz’s World, which is a weird kind of reality show thing.

Brawl For All Quarter-Finals: Bart Gunn vs. Steve Williams

Bart knocks him out in the third round, thereby making WWF want to blow up the whole thing because Williams was the guy they wanted to push as well as making JR’s soul die a little bit.

Ad for Sunday Night Heat in a mockup of the 60 Minutes clock.

Williams is helped to the back while Owen Hart comes out. Owen says he proved himself last night and issues an open challenge. Cue Jason Sensation in his Owen attire. He wants them to stand nose to nose, which means they’ll be miles apart. Jason starts a nugget chant but when Owen comes after him, we get Owen’s real opponent.

Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn

Owen hits him low and we’re ready to go. Severn is in street clothes. Owen tries a quick Sharpshooter but Severn gets out. Shamrock runs in for the DQ after about 40 seconds.

Ken immediately starts choking Owen out and Severn has to put Ken in a Dragon Sleeper to break it up. Blackman comes down to break up the breaking up.

After a break, Shamrock doesn’t want to talk.

Farrooq/Scorpio vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Bradshaw is on commentary and is very mad at Terry Funk. Scorpio and 8-Ball start us off but it’s off to Farrooq quickly. Skull comes in and does about as well as his brother. JR has no idea which is which. The bikers get Farrooq on the floor so Scorpio hits a huge dive onto both of them. Scorpio is in legal now and takes a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.

Lawler agrees with Bradshaw about Funk so Bradshaw grabs him by the throat and says call the match. Scorpio hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise to bring in Farrooq. He knocks one of DOA to the floor and Bradshaw goes off. He jumps Farrooq as well and it’s a DQ. Too short to rate but it was there for Bradshaw.

A brawl breaks out post match and Bradshaw leaves.

Rock isn’t worried about defending the title against HHH and X-Pac tonight.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. X-Pac vs. The Rock

It’s a triple threat, not a handicap match. That’s a new concept at this time so JR explaining it is more acceptable. It’s HHH’s birthday. DX double teams him to start and it’s dominance. Rock manages to clothesline X-Pac down but gets taken down immediately by the future Game. There’s the jumping knee to the face and it sounds like the fans are singing Happy Birthday.

Pedigree looks to pin Rock but Pac breaks it up because he wants to be the champion. I know it’s a cliched path for these matches to take but it makes perfect sense. HHH is sent to the apron and Rock whips X-Pac into him, sending HHH into the table. It’s basically a one on one now with Rock in control. Samoan Drop gets two. Rock hits the People’s Elbow and the place comes unglued. You can see it coming.

It only got two so there’s a Rock Bottom. Even JR wants to cheer Rock at this point but can’t quite do it. Everyone is back in now and HHH takes Rock down. X-Factor looks to pin Rock but HHH breaks it up. Rock rolls to the floor while DX implodes. He walks out and it’s a countout, so we have two winners but no title change. All hail Russo?

Rating: C-. This was back in the day when they didn’t have the idea perfected yet. Rock’s popularity is scary and I don’t think they knew what was coming when they finally turned him after Summerslam. Now they turned him right back at Survivor Series but I think it was more of a preview for his real face push in 1999.

The Outlaws say they’re not concerned about what just happened. They are however concerned about getting the tag titles back.

Brakkus vs. Jesus

Brakkus is a German musclehead and I think you can make your own jokes about his opponent. Spinebuster ends this quick. Brakkus would never be seen on Raw again.

Val is in the shower with Yamaguchi-San’s wife. She looks better with wet hair.

Val Venis vs. Brian Christopher

Before the match, Kai En Tai comes out…..with swords. Christopher jumps him to start and does that evil laugh of his. Kai En Tai has salamis now. Brian tries a piledriver but gets caught in an Alabama Slam. Scotty distracts val and Brian gets a DDT. Never mind as Val finishes with a fisherman’s suplex. This was another quick match.

Too Much double teams Val until Taka makes the save. Kai En Tai challenges Val to a match and then says after that “I choppy choppy your pee pee.” And yes, that’s what he means. He cuts one of the salamis with the sword.

Godfather/Mark Henry vs. Legion of Doom

Godfather is officially a pimp. Hawk is stumbling around and not in his shoulder pads. He falls getting into the ring and is drunk. Animal and Henry start things off. Off to Godfather and Animal works his arm. Animal reaches for a tag but Hawk is asleep. Henry drops a leg for two. Animal powerslams Godfather for the same result. Back to Henry who can’t even do a shoulder block right at this point. The Warriors try the Doomsday Device and Hawk falls off the top. Death Valley Driver pins Animal.

Rating: D. This was an angle that I was never comfortable with. It ended badly and naturally in Lexington because bad things happen in this town. Anyway, this was the start of the angle that more or less ended their careers and that’s probably the best thing for them as their age had taken a big toll on them.

It’s time for the trophy presentation for the bikini contest that Sable won last night. Lawler gets to present it of course. Mero and Jackie are here for this as well. Sable loses because body paint doesn’t count so Jackie wins, so says Vince. Sable says she knows she won and she isn’t surprised at this at all. She wishes Vince was man enough to tell her to her face. That brings out Vince who rips into Sable and calls himself a knight in shining armor. He can replace her but won’t as long as she doesn’t become ungrateful. Sable takes her t-shirt off and has on a bikini.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Steve Austin/Undertaker

Austin and Gunn start it and we’ve got a beach ball which Austin punts HARD. Billy tells Austin to kiss it, Austin flips him off. The first hard contact is a clothesline to take Gunn down but he bails to avoid the Stunner. Austin goes after him but Roadie gets in a shot. Off to Taker and Road Dogg the the Dead Man dominating. Old School takes the canine down.

He sets for the chokeslam but Billy chop blocks him. The Outlaws work on Taker’s knee with Road Dogg trying a stepover toe hold. Taker counters that into a leg bar in something modern Taker would use. He pounds Road Dogg in the corner but Roadie ducks a big boot and chop blocks the Dead Man down. After more work on the leg we get some heel (I guess?) miscommunication. Billy misses a splash and here’s Austin. He cleans house and pins Road Dogg with a Stunner in about 20 seconds.

Rating: C. This was a much better match than I was expecting. The Outlaws worked a decent heel match here as they went after the leg as they probably should have. Austin and Taker were never in any real danger so this was more of a formality than a match, and that’s ok.

Austin throws Taker a beer post match which he eventually drinks. Kane and Mankind run in to attack Austin and Taker helps his partner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show but it’s pretty clear that they’re just going through onto the next week until we get to Summerslam. The whole conspiracy went on forever and never really had a definitive ending. It would result in Vince going super evil though which was pretty interesting in the latter part of the year. Not a great show but not bad.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 2004
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So last night I spent four hours downloading a copy of this show. Then I found it all on Youtube. Anyway this is another request and it’s because the main event is an Iron Man match for the title between HHH and Benoit. The only other match on the card is a battle royal for the shot at Benoit at Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

We see the Diva Search girls in the back. Of the ten, five would wind up with jobs unless I’m forgetting some of them. Some blonde named Julia is gone. Michelle, Christy, Amy Webber, Joy Giovanni and Carmella are still in there. Oh and Maria so it’s 6/10. Tonight, the 9 remaining ones have to verbally seduce a former WWE star.

Clip of Benoit winning the Rumble then winning the title at Mania. HHH says the games are ending and tonight it’s the two of them for the title.

Theme song opens us up.

We go to the ring and it’s almost full. A few more come out though. Edge is one of the few to get entrances. He’s the IC Champion here. Matt gets one as well. The announcers don’t know what this is. Jericho comes out to a big pop. Kane comes out as well as JR and King are at a loss for words. Evolution (minus HHH) are in this also. Eric comes out and says it’s a twenty man battle royal and the winner gets the title shot at Summerslam.

Battle Royal

Regal is put out first. Jericho and Flair chop it out before Jericho and Edge team up to put Tomko out. Edge spears Palumbo down and the Canadians throw him out. RKO to Jericho but Edge saves him from Evolution. Flair hits Edge low and we take a break. Back with JR being way too excited. Kane eliminated Val Venis and Matt Hardy during the break. Matt came back in and beat on Kane but didn’t eliminate him.

Hurricane is out as are Rodney Mack, Rosey and a guy I didn’t recognize. I think it was Steven Richards. Tajiri puts Rob Conway out and Grenier is out as well. We have about eight left. Tajiri tries the Tarantula on Kane and is tossed out. We have the three members of Evolution, Kane, Jericho, Edge, Rhyno and Maven for our final eight. Flair goes up top for no logically explained reason. Edge slams him back into the ring for no logically explained reason.

Jericho hooks Flair in the Walls but Batista makes the save. Edge spears Kane down but he sits up. We take a break and come back with all eight still in it. Edge almost got eliminated during the break but low blowed his way out of it. Flair tries to chop Kane which goes as well as you would expect. Kane very carefully chokeslams him and it’s time for the battle of the bulls.

Batista and Kane slug it out (I remember watching this live) and Big Dave spinebusters him down but walks into a Gore to a BIG pop. Why is Maven still in there? Why is he getting to throw Flair into the corner for the (failed) Flair Flip? WHY IS HE CLOTHESLINING FLAIR OUT??? Rhyno Gores Maven and Batista throws Rhyno out. The Canadians go after Kane and everyone gangs up on him to get him out.

So we have Orton, Batista, Maven, Jericho and Edge left. Maven sends Orton to the apron but he hangs on. Orton manages to suplex Maven onto the top rope and then dump him to get us to the final four and a PPV level tag match. Jericho and Edge manage to get rid of Batista and Jericho turns on Edge to get us down to two. Slugout is won by Orton and he hits something like a spinebuster to take over.

In a smart move he tries a slingshot but Jericho hooks the rope. He pulls himself back in and grabs Orton into a fireman’s carry but Orton escapes as well. Jericho gets thrown again but he skins the cat. Orton clotheslines him to the apron again but he holds on with one arm. They do the Big Show/Benoit sequence but Orton lands on the apron. They’re both on the apron now and they slug it out. Both guys get knocked down but they hang on. Orton slides back in and hits an RKO (kind of) onto the middle rope then kicks Jericho out to go to Summerslam.

Rating: B-. I was enjoying this a lot more than most regular battle royals. These matches are always hard to rate because other than the Rumble, if you’ve seen one battle royal, you’ve seen almost all of them. This had star power and drama in it though which made this better than most. Good match and it gave us a mostly surprising winner.

Time for the Divas nonsense. What this has to do with getting a contract to be a female wrestler is beyond me but whatever. All nine of them have 20 seconds to verbally seduce a former WWE Superstar. Michelle starts first and it’s Kamala. She does the whole sexy teacher thing and yeah I’m not going to comment on most of this. Christy looks good in blue though. This goes nowhere and isn’t funny or anything like that. I get how it could be funny once or so but this happens NINE TIMES. This eats up like 8 minutes.

Smackdown recap.

Smackdown Your Vote at the Democratic National Convention. You’ll NEVER see this today. To be fair they went to the GOP National Convention as well and this was non-partisan.

Here are the Diva Search chicks in bikinis and numbers to call to vote for them. This went on OVER TWO MONTHS.

HHH comes in to see Evolution and Orton says it’ll be an honor to face him at Summerslam. He wishes HHH good luck but HHH says he doesn’t need it.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is challenging and it’s an Iron Man match. They do the referee instructions and they say if there’s a tie, it’s sudden death. Slugout to start but it turns into more of a feeling out process. Benoit takes it to the mat with a headlock and into a top wristlock with Benoit bridging out of it very nicely. Crossface is attempted but HHH rolls out. Back in the Pedigree is easily escaped and it’s a standoff.

HHH tries to take it to the mat but Benoit gets the advantage. Five minutes in and HHH rolls to the floor to escape the Crossface attempt again. After a quick trip to the floor, Benoit goes after the knee. Benoit slams him at eight minutes in and stays on the knee. Chris runs into a boot in the corner and a DDT takes him down. Benoit comes back with chops but walks into the Facebuster. Pedigree is countered into a Sharpshooter attempt but that’s countered too. He hooks a Crossface out of nowhere though but HHH rolls out, but Benoit rolls him up for the first fall with about 49:30 to go.

We take a break and come back with 46:15 to go and HHH in a chinlock. Snap suplex gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch as this has been almost all Benoit. HHH manages to send him over the top and Benoit hits his back on the apron. The Game rams him into the apron and starts working it over. Benoit tries a charge but gets kicked in the face, busting his mouth open.

Benoit tries to whip him in but falls down. That’s either good selling of the back or a rare botch. They try it again and HHH gets whipped over the top to the floor. Benoit tries a suicide dive but hits mostly the barricade. Both guys are down as we hear about the Pegasus Kid. We’re about twenty minutes in now. We take a break with both guys down.

Back with HHH still down and thirty seven minutes to go. During the break HHH went into the steps and might have a bad shoulder now. Benoit tries a Sharpshooter (in a rare misstep of psychology) but HHH escapes. Off to a freaky modified Indian Deathlock with thirty six minutes to go. Chris stays on the leg with a Figure Four and a decent one at that. HHH makes the rope so Benoit pounds away in the corner.

HHH hot shots him out for two with thirty three minutes left. Benoit is like CANADA POWER and hits rolling Germans to take HHH down. Here’s the Swan Dive but HHH rolls away. HHH sends him into the buckle chest first, which is apparently an injury from a few weeks ago. Pedigree ties us up at about halfway through.

Benoit rolls to the floor but HHH knocks him down again and front suplexes him onto the steps for a countout to make it 2-1. We take another break and come back with 25:30 to go and HHH whipping Benoit into the corner for two. Release suplex lands on the chest again and gets two. Another whip into the corner gets two. 23:20 to go. HHH starts working on the back for some reason but Benoit hammers him in the face with a forearm to put both guys down. A spinebuster out of nowhere makes it 3-1 HHH with just under 22:00 to go.

There’s another break and we come back with Benoit hiptossing him at 18:30 to go. HHH loads up a Pedigree but Benoit dead weights him and goes for a Sharpshooter but HHH counters again. Pedigree attempt #2 is countered into the Sharpshooter which this time is hooked. HHH is in big trouble as Benoit keeps pulling him back from the ropes. He FINALLY (not meant as a bad thing) taps out to make it 3-2 with 15:30 to go.

15:00 to go and HHH falls to the floor. Benoit follows him out and pounds away but HHH runs back into the ring. Back in Benoit charges into a foot but HHH jumps into the Crossface. He eventually gets his foot to the rope but Benoit immediately hooks it again and HHH taps out to tie things up with 12:00 to go.

Here come Batista and Flair and we take a break. Back with about 8:30 to go and Benoit getting sent to the outside. Eight minutes left and HHH blocks a sunset flip to send Benoit back outside. Batista sends Benoit into the post and the champ is busted open. That gets two with 6:30 to go. HHH pounds him down in the corner with 6:00 to go. Benoit ducks a punch and comes back with rolling Germans. The referee gets clotheslined and Benoit grabs the Crossface.

Batista distracts Benoit and Flair throws in a chair with 5:00 to go. Flair gets knocked off and HHH caves in the back of Benoit’s head with the chair. He covers but there’s no referee. Bischoff sends out another referee who counts two. Four minutes left and HHH clocks the other referee. Evolution beats on Benoit but someone comes through the crowd.

Of all people, it’s EUGENE, who is still one of the most popular acts in years at this point. He cleans house, beating up Evolution all by himself. Stunner to Flair and a Rock Bottom to HHH. Bischoff gets a right hand as well and HHH gets killed with the chair. Eugene had been beaten down by Evolution two weeks before if you’re wondering why he’s here. Benoit comes back in with 1:20 to go. Eugene throws the referee back in for the pin on HHH with six seconds left and Benoit retains with a final score of 4-3.

Rating: B-. The match is certainly good, but I see no reason at all here for this to be an Iron Man match. This easily could have been cut down to about thirty or even forty minutes and nothing would have been lost. The ending is ridiculous with there being nothing resembling a regular match for the last five minutes. Good match and it set up Summerslam, but absolutely no reason for it to be an Iron Man match.

Overall Rating: B. Good show with an interesting twist by having basically two angles the entire show plus the Divas nonsense. At the end of the day though, you can only complain so much about good looking women in swimsuits though. Fun show but it’s not something that would work every time.

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This contains a spoiler for this week’s Smackdown and next week’s Raw.At the moment, the WHC picture is a mess with no sign of any structure or semblance of a story.  Del Rio lost clean to Orton last week, beat Sheamus this week, and is going to beat Van Dam and lose to Christian on the next two TV shows.  So far these matches are totally random and seem to have no build to anything.  Odds are we’ll get a multi man match for the title at Summerslam, but with the matches just happening with no consequences, it makes the title look worthless.  Del Rio is just thrown out there and loses most of the time, but we’re supposed to still care about his title defenses.

Short version: quit having your champion wrestle random matches and lose most of them.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming off an awesome Raw last week so there are good hopes for another solid show tonight. The main stories tonight will be Punk vs. Heyman/Lesnar and Cena vs. Bryan as we head towards Summerslam. The key different with these stories is the people have been clamoring for them for months now and we’re FINALLY getting to see them. It’s not some idea that is being shoved down our throats but rather something logical and story driven which is the right idea. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with the contract signing between Cena and Bryan with Maddox as the moderator. Brad wants to know why Cena picked Bryan and Cena says it was because of Maddox. Maddox wanted to listen to the fans and they were all chanting YES. Brad suggests that Cena picked Maddox because it’s an easy win, but here’s Bryan to defend himself. Cena goes into a rant about how it isn’t size that makes a competitor and he picked Bryan as the challenger because he deserved it. If size is what makes a champion, Maddox can hand the title to Great Khali, but Cena has names like HBK, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.

Cena says Bryan is giving him a chance to compete, because Cena is going to fight back. Bryan might be the best right now, but at Summerslam the best isn’t going to be good enough and Cena signs. Bryan signs and starts to talk but Maddox cuts him off. Bryan cuts Maddox off and says Brad doesn’t get to talk when Bryan wants to. Maddox asks Bryan if he deserves this because not everyone thinks he does. Tonight Bryan gets to prove himself in a few matches against opponents to be named.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Non-title again and Sheamus has a BIG bruise on his thigh from MITB. Del Rio kicks him in the bruised leg but Sheamus sends him into the corner for a quick shoulder into the ribs. A neckbreaker gets two on Del Rio but he superkicks Sheamus out of the corner to take over. Sheamus comes back with forearms out of the corner and a snap suplex for two more. Del Rio kicks the leg out again and stomps away as this is still a basic match so far.

The armbreaker across the top rope cranks on Sheamus’ arm but he punches Del Rio to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a German suplex and Sheamus winning a slugout. He hits a series of ax handles to the head and a knee lift for two. Del Rio hits the Backstabber for two and a hard kick to the back keeps Sheamus down.

Alberto misses a charge and gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest followed by the Irish Curse for two. The champion comes back with a running enziguri to knock Sheamus off the top and a superkick to the bad leg. The armbreaker is easily countered but Sheamus’ leg buckles as he goes for White Noise, giving Del Rio the pin at 13:23.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would due to the psychology. Del Rio working over the arm here would have been idiotic but thankfully he went after the bad leg up until the end and that leg work played into the finish. That’s what I mean when I talk about building on a story and it worked fine here. Also Del Rio actually won a match against a big opponent!

Booker T and Teddy Long bicker over who was more surprised by Vickie being named permanent GM of Smackdown. Teddy suggests that Booker left him holding the bag but Booker says he was out with an injury. Long also suggests that Booker should have been fired if Teddy was getting the job full time.

Christian vs. Titus O’Neal

Christian pops him in the jaw with a right hand but gets caught by a shoulder block. The Canadian’s middle rope cross body is caught in a backbreaker to send him to the floor. Titus picks him up on his shoulder and walks Christian back in the ring for two in an impressive power display. Off to an abdominal stretch for a few moments but Christian fights back with some hard right hands. A jumping back elbow off the middle rope looks to set up the Killswitch but Christian has to dropkick Young to the floor. Titus gets two off a big boot but Christian escapes a slam into the Killswitch for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C. Titus looked much better here than he has before but unfortunately he appears to be stuck int his jobber role because of being part of a team. It doesn’t help that he’s in his late 30s and got into the sport pretty late in life. Still though, nice performance here and there’s definitely some potential in the guy.

After a clip of him destroying Jericho, Ryback says he enjoys attacking people because he hates average. It seems that we’re dropping the whiner gimmick.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He’s proud of the effort he put into his match with Cena, but he’s not proud of the beating Shield gave him last week. If they want to fight him, he’s right here. Cue Shield to easily destroy Henry until the Usos come out for the save and to send Shield running.

Cena comes up to see Bryan in the back and offer his support in the three matches tonight. Bryan appreciates it but politely declines. Tonight is Bryan’s chance to prove himself and he’s going to win on his own. If Cena comes out there at all, it proves that Cena didn’t mean a thing he said earlier tonight.

Darren Young vs. Dolph Ziggler

The fans chant for Ziggler who gets a quick rollup for no cover. A dropkick gets two on Young but he drops Ziggler with a hot shot to take over. Off to a chinlock on Dolph as this appears to be one of those short matches that needs a rest hold for some reason. Ziggler escapes with a jawbreaker and hits a splash in the corner followed by a hard clothesline for two. Dolph gets caught on Young’s shoulders and driven face first into the mat for a close two, but Young spends too much time talking trash and gets caught in the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D. Did we really need a chinlock in a match that didn’t even make it five minutes? Young continues to be as generic as any guy you could pick up off the street, which makes me wonder why that team is still together. Either way this wasn’t interesting at all and it never felt like Ziggler was in jeopardy. With Titus’ match, there was a chance of Christian losing which made it more interesting.

Post match Langston runs out to beat down Dolph but Ziggler beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor.

Here’s a walk through of how to download the WWE App for the idiots in the audience.

It’s time for MizTV with the cast of the Total Divas as the guests. We get a clip of the show with one of the Divas DOING HER HAIR! Miz introduces the cast and then turns it over to Lawler to emcee this nonsense. Eve Marie, one of the new chicks, doesn’t like how Lawler is looking at her and slaps him to make a name for herself. And that’s it.

HHH tells Maddox that he doesn’t care what Vince thinks because Bryan might be the future of the WWE. He didn’t stop Maddox’s decisions earlier because Bryan can overcome anything thrown at him. Maddox needs to pick which train he’s on because one is the future and the other is a dead end. HHH leaves and Stephanie pops in with an idea which we’ll hear about later.

Video on the Wyatt Family so far.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Fandango hitting a shoulder block and dancing a lot. He dances a bit too much and gets caught by a dropkick to send him into the corner. Cody charges into a boot in the corner for one and it’s off to a cravate. Fandango pulls at Cody’s mouth and it’s right back to the cravate. Cody comes back with a right hand and a kick to the low abdomen before loading up a moonsault press which barely connected at all. Sandow tries to interfere but Cody sidesteps a charging Fandango to send him into Damien. The Disaster Kick sets up Cross Rhodes for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but it was nice to see Cody getting a win again. The guy had so much potential a few years ago and it stopped dead for well over a year. Sandow vs. Rhodes is a good way to get Cody back on track and the fans are going to be into it when it happens if it’s done right.

Here’s a limping Punk to talk about Lesnar’s attack last week. Punk says last week he felt Lesnar’s power and took Lesnar’s best shot. He felt the power of Lesnar and has an injured ankle and staples in his head, but he’s still standing here today. Lesnar is a beast who has dominated people like HHH and John Cena because of one thing: fear. It’s not his power or his speed but the fear that Lesnar puts into people that make him so dominant. Punk isn’t afraid of Lesnar’s power, he’s not afraid of Lesnar’s size and he’s not afraid of Brock Lesnar at all.

This brings Punk to Paul Heyman. Punk talks about being a relentless man who is going to keep fighting until Lesnar is left laying like Punk was last week. This is Punk’s ring and he has proven it against John Cena, the Rock and Undertaker. There will not be another beatdown from Lesnar and Punk is going to get his hands on Heyman to make him pay. Brock Lesnar is a monster who was put on this earth to be slayed at CM Punk’s hands and Punk wants to do it at Summerslam in the Best vs. the Beast.

Heyman pops up on screen and talks about the tagline of Best vs. Beast. Punk cuts him off and asks if Heyman is really on satellite, because if he’s really back there then Punk is going to go backstage, drag him out here and destroy Heyman in front of the people of Austin. Heyman talks to Brock off screen and makes fun of Texas before asking Punk if he’s a coward or a fool. Punk says he’ll answer that at Summerslam and wants to know where Heyman is right now so he can take him out tonight. Heyman accepts the challenge for Summerslam and says the Best is the Beast, and Punk will learn that at Summerslam.

Wade Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Barrett takes over to start with a knee lift and a big boot to the face to send Van Dam into the ropes for two. The announcers make stupid jokes about Barrett’s nose as Barrett gets two more off a chinlock. Wade charges into a foot in the corner followed by a top rope kick to set up Rolling Thunder. A top rope front flip gets two for RVD and the Five Star is good for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This was just a step above a squash with Barrett getting in some decent offense before taking the loss. I don’t remember anyone falling as far as Barrett has while holding a title as long as he did. He hasn’t won anything close to a big match in months and is nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

This is the first of an undetermined amount of matches for Bryan. Colter says that Stephen F. Austin isn’t the father of this country as he didn’t fight for the right to allow people to chant YES. Bryan isn’t a Real American because he took a handout last week from John Cena and tonight he gets to face a Real American in Swagger. Bryan gets a quick rollup for one but Swagger takes out his leg to put him down.

Swagger pounds on him in the corner but walks into a dropkick to send him to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is countered with a forearm to the face and Swagger drops the Vader Bomb for two. He loads up the Patriot Lock but gets caught in the YES Lock for the first submission at 2:57.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan

This is joined in progress after a break with Cesaro holding Bryan in an armbar. Lawler tells us we need to download the App so we can see action like he’s showing us right now. Cesaro whips Bryan into the corner for two and puts on the standing chinlock. Bryan takes him down and hits the double leg stomp out of the surfboard. Cesaro comes back with a pure power suplex and another hard chinlock but Bryan easily fights up and hits the running clothesline followed by the kicks to the chest. A running dropkick in the corner gets two on Cesaro but Swagger shoves Bryan off the top into the uppercut for two.

Back from a break with Cesaro getting two off the gutwrench suplex. A kind of Death Valley Driver gets two but Bryan comes back with a hard kick to the head for two of his own. Cesaro takes him to the corner for a superplex but gets forearmed and kneed down, only to have Cesaro come back with a top rope superplex attempt. Bryan slips through his legs and gets Cesaro in the Tree of Woe for a bunch of kicks, capped off by the delayed running dropkick to the face.

A belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody to give Antonio two as this is getting really good. Back up and Cesaro DESTROYS Bryan with about 25 uppercuts in a row followed by a huge clothesline for two. Bryan backdrops out of the Neutralizer and starts firing off forearms before putting on a leg lock and pounding away with driving forearms to the face. Cesaro is sent to the floor and the FLYING GOAT takes out the Real Americans. Back in and Cesaro tries to throw Bryan in the air for the uppercut but Bryan comes down into a small package for the pin at approximately 15:00 shown.

Rating: A-. Someone explain to me why Cesaro isn’t one of the three top heels in this company right now. He could EASILY being in Del Rio’s spot and blowing away everything he does. Both guys looked great here and this is probably a match of the year candidate. Great stuff and I want more Cesaro right now.

Maddox is in the back with Alex Riley next to him of all people. Bryan has a third opponent after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback

Bryan goes right for Ryback’s bad leg but Ryback easily knocks him down. Ryback shouts that Bryan is a little man in a big man’s world and chokes him him with a boot. The stupid fans chant that Ryback can’t wrestle so Ryback suplexes Bryan down for two. We hit a quick chinlock with Ryback shouting that this is too easy. Ryback’s Thesz press is countered into a wicked looking half crab but he’s right in front of the ropes. A splash gets two for Ryback but the Meathook is blocked by a knee to the chest.

Bryan hits some corner dropkicks but Ryback clotheslines him down for two. Ryback heads to the floor to set up a table but Bryan comes flying through the ropes to send Ryback into the announce table with a thud. Ryback sends him into the steps and gets back in, only to have Bryan fire off the kicks. The YES Lock is countered by a throw but Bryan drop toeholds him into the buckle. A missile dropkick gets two and there’s the YES Lock but Ryback finally makes the ropes. Ryback heads to the floor but catches Bryan coming off the apron in a powerbomb. Another powerbomb through the table is good for a DQ at 9:10.

Rating: B-. This was a great David vs. Goliath match and I like that they didn’t make Ryback lose clan here. Bryan beating the Real Americans is fine but having him win against a fresh monster after nearly half an hour in the ring is too much of a stretch. This worked very well though as Ryback can still be a monster when he isn’t a whiny jerk.

Post match Ryback loads up another powerbomb but Cena comes out to make the save. He chases Ryback off and challenges him to a tables match next week.

In the back Maddox makes the tables match official but Vince comes in to make Bryan vs. Kane next week.

Overall Rating: B+. This show took awhile to get going but the final forty minutes is a Daniel Bryan showcase with some AWESOME wrestling that made him look like a monster against Cena. You couple that with an excellent Heyman/Punk segment and some short matches that didn’t overstay their welcome and this was a very solid show. I can’t wait for Summerslam and the show is going to rock.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Sheamus – Cradle

Christian b. Titus O’Neal – Killswitch

Dolph Ziggler b. Darren Young – Zig Zag

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Cross Rhodes

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – YES Lock

Daniel Bryan b. Antonio Cesaro – Small Package

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback powerbombed Bryan through a table

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This is one of those ideas that makes no sense when you actually think about it.The common statement you hear is TNA needs to stay around to be competition to WWE.  TNA has been around for over eleven years and has never, not once, come close to competing with them.  Someone that thinks they have been, please tell me how they’ve competed.  Simply being in the same business and producing the same kind of material isn’t competing.  By that logic a seven year old writing a story in school is competition for Stephen King.  TNA’s highest rating ever for Impact is a long distance from Smackdown’s lowest number in years.  About three times as many people watch Raw as watch Impact.  The PPV buys are so lopsided it’s unreal.

TNA doesn’t compete with WWE.  They don’t come close and they won’t for a very long time.  If TNA goes out of business (and no I don’t think they are anytime soon), WWE isn’t going to be breathing a sigh of relief.  TNA is a promotion which has done better than most companies, but to even think they’re a serious competitor to WWE at this point or any point in their history is laughable.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 2011
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different era for Raw as Punk is now world champion but has apparently left the company with the championship. Also we have Alberto Del Rio as the Money in the Bank winner who didn’t cash in officially last night because the bell never rang. This should be a very interesting show so let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Nice to see them going straight into the big story. Johnny Ace is with him. Vince’s punk jacket isn’t quite as manly as something Bret would wear but most men aren’t Bret Hart. The locker room is all watching on a monitor in the back. The fans chant for Punk and Vince says he’ll never say that name again. Punk is an ingrate apparently and walked out on the fans, the locker room and everyone that has ever been in this ring.

Vince says no one is bigger than the WWE and lists off a bunch of names. There will be a new WWE Champion crowned tonight in an 8 man tournament. Ziggler vs. Rey is one of the matches. Swagger vs. Truth. Kofi vs. Del Rio and Miz vs. Riley….again. He addresses Cena not being in the match because Cena let everyone down last night. Cena will face unmentioned consequences. Vince promises we’ll always remember tonight so enjoy the show.

We talk about Cena tweeting that he’s been fired and if that’s hot it is, Cena is sorry to Rock.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarterfinals: The Miz vs. Alex Riley

Miz is limping but the fact that he’s out there is a great sign after how bad his knee looked. Riley’s entrance and the bell are after the break. Here we go and Riley goes after the bad knee which is rather smart. He has psychology at least. A kick to the knee puts Miz down and he works it over a bit. Miz’s knee goes around the post and Riley gets two back in. Riley’s shoulder goes into the post and here comes Miz.

Miz throws on a cravate to slow Riley down. You have to win by pinfall or submission so there are no DQs or countouts. Riley manages to ram Miz’s neck into his knee to take over. Spinebuster gets two. The inverted DDT and the Finale don’t work so Miz goes up. He jumps into a really bad Texas Cloverleaf (called a Sharpshooter by Cole) but manages to get a rope. Alex hammers away and Miz is staggering. And never mind as Riley walks into the Skull Crushing Finale for the clean pin at 4:57.

Rating: C. Nice to see Miz get a clean win over Riley as he was starting to look far too weak. A deep run in this tournament could help him a lot as this win did. Pretty average match here but for a TV match in a tournament that needs to have relatively quick matches, this was perfectly fine.

Video on John Morrison who is coming back soon from his neck injury apparently.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger grabs a headlock to start us off. Truth keeps talking to himself as they circle each other a bit more. Apparently Big Show will be out for two months. Truth gets a victory roll for two as Truth does his weird pelvic thrust dance. Belly to belly gets two for Swagger. Swagger beats on Truth a bit more before the Vader Bomb gets two. Double chickenwing goes on Truth as the crowd doesn’t care. Truth starts his comeback but misses the Axe kick. It’s countered into the ankle lock but Truth counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the heel vs. heel dynamic was kind of all over the place. Truth was moving around fast like a face would do but since both are heels it’s kind of hard to call. Either way it wasn’t anything all that special but with just over four minutes and no feud to work off of, how good can you really get?

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Alberto is VERY fired up about being Mr. Money in the Bank. He talks about trying to cash in last night but Punk ran away. Alberto has a surprise and RICARDO IS BACK! Why this is exciting is beyond me but you have to shout at a return!!! The bell rings after a break and Del Rio gets a fast seated dropkick to the back of the head for two. Alberto goes after the leg of Kofi which is a change of pace for him.

Kofi starts his jumping around and hits a back elbow to take Del Rio down. Rock apparently has begged Vince not to fire Cena. This match seems kind of rushed. Del Rio is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a sweet dive to take Alberto down. Kofi takes too long to come back in and gets caught by an enziguri for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Another kick gets two.

Elbow drop gets the same and we’re back to the chinlock. Kofi starts his comeback and the crowd finally reacts. Boom Drop is avoided though and Del Rio gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup for the pin out of nowhere at approximately 5:00.

Rating: C. Rather surprised by the pin here but Alberto losing makes things more interesting as far as surprise winners could go. I didn’t like the match itself for the most part as it seemed kind of rushed but the ending helped it a bit. Nice to see Kofi get an actual big win for once too.

Summerslam Recall is from 1992 where Bulldog beat Bret.

Kofi says he’s excited and tonight is a new opportunity. That’s one down and two to go.

WWE Championship Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler trabs him to start but Rey speeds things up to escape. Rey is tossed to the floor and takes a nice flapjack to put him down again. In the ring that gets two as does a big elbow drop. Off to a stump puller which is an old school submission. Dolph takes him down to the mat and has been in control for most of the match. Splash in the corner misses though and Rey gets a quick two count.

Seated senton off the top hits but Ziggler gets a sunset flip. They exchange some kicks, resulting in Dolph getting a two count. Clothesline misses for Dolph and the sleeper is countered. Rey counters into a 619 attempt but Dolph ducks and hits a reverse slam for two. 619 hits on the second attempt and a top rope splash pins the US Champion clean at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad again here but at the same time it was kind of boring again. These five minute matches can only be so good because they have to fly through everything instead of letting a match build itself up. That gets really annoying quickly and it certainly has in these four matches so far. Still though not bad.

Jerry calls Punk the former champion.

Updated brackets:

Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Kofi vs. Miz

Vince is talking to Johnny Ace about the tournament.

Face Diva Team vs. Heel Diva Team

Like I’m listing off 12-14 Divas for a two minute match. Beth vs. Rosa to start and they botch something badly. Slingshot suplex hits and everything breaks down within about 15 seconds. Glam Slam and we’re done at 1:02. About as good as I was expecting. Anything with Kelly in those tiny white shorts is never a bad thing though.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Kofi immediately goes for the knee and Miz is having to fight through the issues. Kofi does his reversal off the ropes with his hair. They horribly botch a dropkick as Miz falls before it even hits. Double stomp gets two for Kofi but he gets crotched soon after that. Slingshot elbow gets two for Kofi but Miz rolls through a top rope cross body. He hits more or less a Stunner to the knee and loads up Trouble in Paradise, only for Miz to head to the apron to escape. Miz gets put into a rollup for two but gets a modified Snake Eyes and hits the Finale to end it at 3:45. Miz is bleeding from the mouth a bit.

Rating: D+. Didn’t feel this one at all. The quick endings are crippling this thing but having seven matches in two hours and all with clean endings is probably asking too much. Not a horrible match I guess but at the same time this was way too rushed as they were trying to get too much in there. As with almost all these matches, they would be better with more time.

Truth says he should be champion and there’s a conspiracy. The Little Jimmys better close their eyes because the title is gonna get got.

Video on Andy from Tough Enough who grew up in a very bad neighborhood apparently, complete with a meth lab.

WWE Championship Tournament Semi-Finals: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Truth takes over to start and pounds Rey down, hitting a suplex for two. They collide which of course goes badly for Rey, resulting in another two count. Off to a front facelock by Truth and a knee to Rey’s ribs stops him again. After a body scissors Rey gets some momentum, including a bad looking arm drag to put Truth on the floor. Rey hits a suicide dive and we take a break.

Back with Truth holding a chinlock. Apparently Rey tried two top rope moves during the break and was ½ with them. Truth gets an extra spinny forearm for two. 619 attempt is countered by a forearm for two. Back to the front facelock as it seems like both of them are spent. Truth charges at Rey in the corner but goes into the middle buckle instead. Rey still can’t keep any momentum going and Truth hits his suplex into the stunner for two. Rey goes to the apron and hits a headscissors to set up the 619. Top rope splash puts him into the finals at 12:48.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but there was WAY too much laying around. This show is just draining and it’s the same problem as there always is in one night tournaments: the uniqueness of seeing each person goes away quickly because we’re going to see the finalists three times in one night which is just way too much. Not bad but rather dull at times.

Rey stays in the ring for the main event which is next.

And before the bell here’s Vince in that pink jacket again. Miz isn’t even out there yet. Vince sounds like he calls it the WWF Title. I’m pretty sure he did. He has to hurry though because there’s something else he needs to do. No title match? Apparently not as Vince says this is bigger than Rey. Sadly enough he doesn’t make the required joke. Yep the match is postponed so no match here.

Vince reiterates that no one is bigger than the WWE, including John Cena. There’s a CM Punk chant. Vince talks about how this isn’t about his ego and how he did what was right from a business perspective. This was a long term decision and in time, the fans will thank him. Let’s get this over with apparently and here’s Cena.

Cena says he isn’t going to go through some big rant or tirade and he knows what’s coming. He isn’t going to go through what Shawn Michaels went through. Apparently this is about Montreal somehow and how Shawn had to go through the constant reminders of how he screwed Bret. Cena doesn’t want to be remembered as the guy that screwed CM Punk.

Last night was about Vince wanting to keep his bubble intact because no one can embarrass Vince. Vince needed a patsy but Cena wasn’t going to play ball that way. Cena tells Punk that was a great match. He wasn’t going to take the title that way because it would have made it look meaningless. That’s true to an extent. Cena says Vince now has about 8 months to find a new opponent for Rock. Somehow he’s sure Vince can pull it off though so it doesn’t really matter.

Cena says that we should just get to it. He says if Vince has to fire him here tonight, he’ll keep doing it on someone else’s TV show….Brother. Hokey smoke we just got an actual Impact reference. Cena starts to walk but Vince stops him. And…….it’s time to play the game? Here’s HHH of all people in a suit. Vince is all happy to see him but HHH isn’t thrilled.

There was a board of directors meeting this morning and he says that twice for some reason. The board is concerned about the current situation. HHH wants to take this to the back so it doesn’t have to be in person. The board however is about Vince. It’s true that Vince built all this, but at the same time they’re worried about Vince’s “extremely questionable decisions” as of late.

HHH again offers to take this to the back but Vince says do it here. The board has asked HHH to come here to tell Vince that there’s an injunction against him with a vote of no confidence. Vince laughs it off but apparently the family agrees. On top of that, the board has appointed someone to take over the day to day operations. That would be……HHH apparently. Cena IS NOT fired and HHH is about to cry. Vince is officially relieved of his duties (HUGE pop for that) and HHH breaks down. He loves “pop” and he’s sorry. Vince stands in the middle of the ring and HHH walks out. A thank you Vince chant ends this.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference 15 minutes makes. I had this all ready to go with a bad grade and then they spring this Vince is fired thing on me. HHH as the new Mr. McMahon could work incredibly well as he’s someone we’re familiar with and he could even jump in the ring once in awhile. I liked the ending a lot and I’m very interested in where this could go. The first two hours were pretty awful but the ending is awesome stuff indeed. Good ending to an otherwise bad show.

Results

The Miz b. Alex Riley – Skull Crushing Finale

R-Truth b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler – Top Rope Splash

Kelly Kelly/AJ/Kaitlyn/Gail Kim/Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Natalya b. Rosa Mendes/Tamina/Bella Twins/Maryse/Alicia Fox

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Skull Crushing Finale

Rey Mysterio b. R-Truth – Top Rope Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

I was wrong.  This is going to be amazing.

If you haven’t seen this, find it and watch it several times.  It’s one of the best segments I’ve seen in years.