Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1995: Short and Bitter

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1993: The Japanese Invasion

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This is a pretty forgotten show for reasons that should be obvious. First of all, this is 1993, one of the worst years in company history from a creative standpoint. Bret is defending the title against Razor Ramon (his only world title shot ever) and we’ve got the Rumble for the title shot at Wrestlemania for the first time. I don’t know if that’s official here, but the winner did indeed get the shot at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

For you ECW freaks, Bill Alfonzo is the referee. Scott and I think Blake start things off. This is the Steiners’ first major match and the fans seem to love them right off the bat. Scott immediately takes him to the mat with a top wristlock, causing Blake to freak out with a claim of tights being pulled. That sequence worked so well that they do it again. Heenan is very excited about the debut of Narcissist, which is Lex Luger as a guy obsessed with his muscles. In other words, Lex Luger debuts tonight.

After Blake stalls some more, here’s Beau to taunt the not legal Rick. There’s the tag to Rick who chases Beau around and hits Blake in the process. A powerslam puts Rick down and I don’t think Gorilla knows which Beverly is which. Since this is a Steiners match, it’s time for suplexes! Scott nearly kills Beau with a belly to belly and everything breaks down for a bit, allowing the Beverlies to take over on Scotty.

We get into a standard formula with Scott having his back worked on by both villains. Blake chokes with a tag rope in the corner for two. Heenan: “Gotta hook the tights.” Gorilla: “WHAT?” I love how shocked he sounds every time Heenan says something like that. Beau puts on a Boston Crab but Scott easily pushes out of it. Blake blocks a tag and let’s make sure that we’re LIVE still. What was WWF’s obsession with that?

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

We recap the Rockers’ time together and their split. If my eyesight is correct, you can see Shane Douglas as a jobber. After the Barber Shop incident, Jannetty was out for months. He finally returned on Superstars, setting up the match tonight for Shawn’s Intercontinental Title. During his return, Jannetty accidentally hit Sheri with a mirror, which is important to know for the match.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is at ringside with the question being who would she side with? Why would she side with Marty anyway? I never got that. Apparently it’s because Shawn never called her while she was in the hospital….which she was in because of Marty. So why would she ever go with Jannetty? Apparently Jannetty was drunk during this match. That might make things a bit funnier if nothing else.

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

The champ rams the other shoulder into the post because he hit the right one the first time, and you just don’t do that. Back in and Shawn hits a shoulderbreaker before sending Marty to the floor again. Back in and the shoulder goes into the buckle, followed by a double ax right down onto it as well. We hit the armbar but Marty fights out quickly. He tries a comeback but walks into a DDT on the arm for two.

Quick sidebar: why is that move called a single arm DDT? It’s a hold used on the arm, but the double arm DDT is used to hurt the head. Also a regular DDT uses just one arm, so why is this called a single arm DDT instead of the regular one? These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m bored by a match.

Anyway, Shawn does the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot. I mean he jumped RIGHT AT Marty’s feet. What could he possibly have been trying there? Marty avoids a charge in the corner, sending Shawn’s shoulder into the post instead. Marty speeds things up and pounds away, only to have Shawn slingshot him out to the floor. Shawn goes to pick him up but Marty suplexes him out to the floor.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slow, picked up a good bit during Marty’s comeback, and then had a horribly uninteresting ending. Seriously, that’s it? These two would have a rematch soon after on Raw which won Match of the Year in a contest for least bad match of the year for all intents and purposes.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Bigelow jumps Boss Man in the corner to start and Boss is in trouble early. He gets whipped into the corner and a Bigelow forearm knocks him to the outside. This is one of those “do one move then stand around for awhile” matches. Boss Man comes back with some clotheslines and some punches to the “face” in the corner. Another right hand and a bulldog puts Bigelow down but Boss Man’s charge is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Off to a body vice by Bigelow which is a rather dull move as usual. A hot shot puts Boss Man down for two and some shots to his back keeps him down. We hit the body vice again but Boss Man comes back with a suplex. It hurts him more than Bigelow though, as Bam is up first. Boss Man starts his real comeback with a punch to the face and a running crotch attack to Bigelow’s back. Bigelow gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Boss Man down. The flying headbutt gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was pure filler and not even entertaining filler. Bigelow was on the rise at this point while Boss Man would be gone in less than two months. On top of that, the match was really dull with Bigelow laying around and working on Boss Man’s back most of the time, which doesn’t make for an interesting match at all.

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

Razor says he’s got gold around his fingers and neck and now he wants it around his waist.

Bret says he’s ready.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Now we get to the best part of any Bret Hart match: him getting the tar beaten out of him. Some backbreakers on the floor keep Bret down and we head inside again. Razor pounds on the ribs some more and hits the fallaway slam for two. Helen Hart (Bret’s mom) is in the front row. There’s the chest first into the buckle bump from Bret for two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch, another Razor trademark.

As always, Bret reverses Hall’s hold into one of his own before getting hiptossed over. Bret is sent to the floor on a kickout and gets two on a sunset flip. We hit the reverse chinlock by Razor, followed quickly by a bearhug. Bret bites his way out of it and sends Razor to the outside in a quick move. The champion follows it up with a suicide dive and the comeback is on.

Bret pounds away in the corner over and over as we hit the brawl. For a guy known as a technical master, Bret brawled an awful lot. Not that he’s bad at it or anything but it happens really often. There are the Five Moves of Doom but Razor gets to the rope before the Sharpshooter is on. The second attempt doesn’t work either as Razor pulls the referee into a pile with the two of them.

Ramon goes right back to the ribs and Bret’s momentum is stopped dead. A belly to back superplex is blocked by Bret into a belly to back suplex for two for the champ. Razor clotheslines Bret down but Bret escapes the Razor’s Edge into a backslide for two. In a pretty awesome ending, Bret counters a test of strength into a sunset flip in a sweet flip counter, followed by grapevining the legs together on the mat and turning Razor over into the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B. Good match here and again, why did Razor never get more title matches? I know he wasn’t the kind of guy to make the world champion, but are you telling me that when the company was falling apart at times they couldn’t throw him in there as a token challenger? I would have bought him as legit threat to any champion, but it never happened. I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, solid match here as you would expect from these two.

Heenan unveils Narcissist, which is Lex Luger in front of a bunch of mirrors. Lots of posing commences and Heenan sounds like he’s in love. Well at least extreme lust. Luger says he’ll be dominant. Not much here. A curtain is lowered over Luger and Heenan actually gets on his knees, begging to see more. I’ve heard of overtones but this is ridiculous.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason no one cares at all about 1993 WWF: it’s really not very good. The title matches here aren’t bad but other than that, this show is pretty freaking terrible. The Rumble sucks the life out of the show, as the highlights are a two minute segment between Flair and Perfect and the Backlund part at the end. When the whole match is 65 minutes long, that doesn’t hold up. Weak show here.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C

Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

Not much change here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-1993/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1995: They’ve Still Got It

Survivor Series 1995
Date: November 19, 1995
Location: USAir Arena, Landover, Maryland
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross

Aside from the main event, there really isn’t much else to talk about. The rest of the show is dedicated to the midcard, save for the return of the Undertaker. He’ll be captaining the Dark Side to face the Royals, led by King Mabel, who helped crush Undertaker’s face a few months prior. Let’s get to it.

We start with Razor Ramon, talking about being in the first Wild Card match. The idea here was to take faces and heels and mix them up. It was an interesting concept but like most Survivor Series matches, it didn’t mean anything and wasn’t done again.

Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise commentator.

We actually get an opening video which is about Bret going A-Diesel hunting. The idea is old vs. new. It’s no countout and No DQ tonight, basically meaning a street fight.

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

BodyDonnas: Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, 1-2-3 Kid

Underdogs: Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly

The idea here is people that care about their looks vs. jobbers. Horowitz scored one of the biggest upsets ever over Skip (Chris Candido, a fitness guru. He would later be joined by Prichard under the name Zip. Their manager was the famous one though: Sunny). Jannetty needs no introduction as a jobber.

The Kid is a mystery partner who is freshly heel here. By freshly I mean this is his first match as a heel. Razor comes out to go after the Kid who screwed him over on Raw on Monday. Raw is finally a big deal at this point too. Razor is Intercontinental Champion of course. Radford is Louis Spicolli in a grunge gimmick. Holly is a racecar driver and Hakushi is a Japanese wrestler with tattoos all over his torso.

Prichard and Jannetty start things off and Marty has to fight out of the heel corner. The Kid holds him there but Prichard hits Kid with a knee by mistake. The BodyDonnas huddle on the floor until it’s off to Radford vs. Marty. Radford is called a BodyDonna in training because he’s pretty fat. Here’s Holly to face Rad and he takes Radford over with a hurricanrana. Radford tries the same thing but gets powerbombed down.

Off to Hakushi who is pretty freshly face. He gets behind Radford but walks into a spinebuster. Off to the Kid who hits a top rope splash on Hakushi for two and it’s time for Captain Skip. Hakushi escapes a belly to back superplex and it’s back to Holly who speeds things up. Prichard comes in as the fans want Barry. A powerbomb counters a hurricanrana from Holly but Tom misses a moonsault. Holly hits a top rope cross body for the elimination. Skip immediately comes in and rolls up Holly to tie it back up.

Hakushi comes in again and trips up Skip before elbowing him in the face. A Vader Bomb hits knees though and Skip gets control back. A shot to the chest takes Skip down so here’s the Kid again. The fans want Barry but it’s Hakushi taking over with a Muta Elbow in the corner. A top rope shoulder takes Kid down for two but Hakushi misses a springboard splash. Razor is watching in the back. Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head and Radford gets the easy pin.

Barry comes in and gets pounded down and the fans almost explode. Naturally this match would be the end of his push because that’s how it works in the WWF, though I don’t think Horowitz had a long shelf life. Radford and the Kid double team Horowitz but he comes back with a jawbreaker to Rad. Skip tells Rad not to pin Barry yet because he wants to get the pin himself.

Radford hits a Hennig neck snap as Hennig is stunned at the reaction to Horowitz. Rad stops to exercise and gets cradled by Barry for the pin. It’s Skip/The Kid vs. Barry/Marty. Horowitz gets distracted by a double team and the Kid dropkicks him in the back, setting up a legdrop for the elimination. So it’s Marty down two on one but he avoids a charging Skip in the corner.

A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Marty and the Rocker Dropper (a fancy Fameasser) puts Skip down and Marty goes up. Sunny crotches him but Skip gets countered into a Superbomb (powerbomb off the top, which would be Skip’s finisher in ECW) for the elimination. It’s one on one now and a missile dropkick gets two for the Kid. A moonsault misses Marty though and they’re both down. Jannetty dropkicks him down for two and here comes Sid (Kid’s partner). A Rocker Dropper takes the Kid down for two but Sid guillotines Marty on the ropes and Kid steals the pin.

Rating: B. This was a good match to open things up with, especially since I don’t think anyone would have been able to buy Barry Horowitz captaining anything but an opening match team. Other than that though, the action here was good and it set the Kid up as a somewhat big time heel which is what he needed so soon after a turn. Good opener.

Razor threw a fit in the back after the loss, throwing a monitor against the wall in the process.

Three members of I guess you would say the heel Wild Card team (Dean Douglas, Owen and Yokozuna) say that Razor needs to channel his energy into their match later, since he’s their partner.

Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe, Lioness Asuka

Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, Chaparita Asari

Bertha is an overweight and not incredibly attractive woman and is Blayze’s main rival for Blayze’s Women’s Title. She tells the fans to shut up in an attempt to get people interested in this match. The rest are Japanese wrestlers who didn’t spend a lot of time in the WWF. Asari and Asuka start things off with Asuka taking her head off with a spinwheel kick. At least I think that’s what happened because we’re getting a wide shot of the arena for the opening bell. Asari, a member of the face team, stands about 4’9 and is a tiny thing whereas Asuka looks like a monster.

Off to Blayze who is more Asuka’s size for a slam on the Lioness. Back to Asari who debuts the Sky Twister Press (a corkscrew moonsault) in America. Asuka doesn’t sell it but you can’t ask everything of her. Vince has no idea what to call it but JR is there to clean up for him. Blayze comes back in and hits a German suplex to eliminate Asuka. It makes the names easier to keep track of if nothing else.

Watanabe comes in but misses a dive. Blayze sends her to the floor and does hit her dive to take over. Hasegawa comes in and hits five rolling double underhook suplexes on Watanabe as Perfect makes sexist remarks. Watanabe hits a seated senton off the top for two as this selling thing is still an issue. Aja Kong, a total monster, comes in with no tag and is immediately kicked in the face and suplexed by Hasegawa. Another Rock Bottom suplex puts her down but Hasegawa jumps into a kick to the chest. Something like a belly to back suplex eliminates Hasegawa to make it 3-3.

Asari comes in and is quickly dispatched by a middle rope splash. If you can’t see the ending of this match coming, you fail your exam. Blayze comes in but tags out almost immediately to Inoue. Inoue looks like a cross between a Rocker and the Ultimate Warrior. By the time I finish typing that, a seated senton eliminates her. Kong put out three girls in about 90 seconds.

So it’s Blayze vs. Faye, Kong and Watanabe. All three get in the ring at once but Watanabe stays in. A snap suplex gets two for the champion and a slow motion piledriver gets the pin to make it 2-1. Faye comes in and after some basic shots in the corner, gets caught in a German suplex to make it one on one. Kong hits a superplex for two and she crushes Blayze in the corner for a bit. Alundra hits a bad hurricanrana for two and a standing moonsault for the same. Blayze goes up but gets headbutted down and the spinning backfist gets the pin for Kong.

Rating: C+. The match was fun stuff considering it only had ten minutes to get through seven eliminations. Kong would have been a great challenger for Blayze, if the division had stayed around. Blayze would show up on Nitro in about a month and throw the WWF Women’s Title (and her career for the most part) in the trash. Fun match but too rushed to mean anything.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here. He says he’s been watching Bam Bam Bigelow since Bigelow was a kid and playing with Pebbles.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust

Goldust has been around about a month at this point. This is when Goldust was just a movie fanatic at this point and not, you know, trying to screw everyone on the roster. Bigelow is obsessed with fire here, which makes sense given his looks and attire. After about a four minute entrance, we’re ready to go. Then we get some stalling to go with the long entrance.

Goldust tries to get in Bigelow’s mind but gets knocked to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Bigelow slugs him down but charges into a boot in the corner. Goldust gets rammed into the post on the floor but he comes back with a clothesline to send Bigelow back to the floor. Back in and it’s a front facelock as this match keeps dragging along. Bam Bam is thrown to the floor but comes back with a clothesline. A headbutt misses and Goldust rides Bigelow on the mat. Bam Bam comes back with an electric chair but gets taken down by a lariat. Bigelow makes a comeback, misses a charge, and gets bulldogged down for the pin.

Rating: F. This was an eight minute match. Look at the length of what I wrote and tell me how this match ran eight minutes. Goldust was all mystique and no substance for a year or so until he figured out how to wrestle a match as Goldust instead of as Dustin Rhodes in a funny outfit. This was Bigelow’s last match in the company ever.

Clinton wastes more of our time but now with Bob Backlund, who isn’t a big fan.

We recap Mabel vs. Undertaker. Mabel was fat and won the King of the Ring. Then he dropped some big fat legs on Undertaker, crushing his face. Tonight it’s about revenge.

Royals vs. Dark Side

Royals: King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Dark Side: Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood Helmsley, and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother Kane. What exactly is dark about Undertaker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. Godwin is a hog farmer and Vega is a street fighter from Puerto Rico.

Undertaker’s entrance is as huge as you would expect it to be. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter start things off. The Dark Side even has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin, who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.

Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.

Lawler comes in and gets Savio, which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry and Fatu does the same. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. The smaller evil king that is. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.

Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Red Machine. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Undertaker tag when the place is going to erupt.

Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Undertaker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Undertaker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout. The four eliminations took two minutes and two seconds.

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Undertaker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Undertaker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

Bret is ready for Diesel and isn’t looking forward to the defense he’d have at the next In Your House against British Bulldog. He talks about Wayne Gretzky and wonders if he himself is still the best ever. Today he’ll find out.

Diesel isn’t worried about Bulldog and he’s going to take care of Bret tonight.

DiBiase and Cornette have a small argument before the next match. Shawn comes in and says chill.

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, British Bulldog, Sycho Sid

Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Razor Ramon, Dean Douglas

This is the Wild Card match with all of the mixed up partners. It’s also Ahmed’s (a very large, muscular intimidating man) PPV debut. Sid is Shawn’s other former bodyguard but they split after Wrestlemania XI, turning Shawn face in the process. Douglas is the original Damien Sandow, which is a ripoff of the Genius. We get going with Owen vs. Shawn which is of course very fast paced stuff. Shawn sends him to the floor and after ducking a tennis racket shot from Cornette, taps Cornette’s pants with said racket. Back inside and it’s Douglas pounding away on Shawn and suplexing him down.

Shawn comes back with a forearm followed by a double ax off the top rope for two. Douglas misses a Vader Bomb so Shawn comes back with a moonsault press for two. It’s off to Ahmed who gets to destroy everything in sight but he can’t slam Yokozuna. After a big group beatdown, Dean is able to get a chinlock on Ahmed to take over. Razor gets in some cheap shots which is rather heelish of him.

Back to who walks into a powerslam but it’s off to Shawn, who Ahmed launches into Dean for two. In a more normal act for Razor, he pops Dean in the face to give Shawn a rollup win. Off to Bulldog vs. Owen which should be a good pairing. Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick for two and Bulldog is so mad that he tags out to Shawn.

Hart tags out to Razor and it’s time for a rematch from Summerslam 95. JR: “I don’t think they can wrestle each other without a ladder.” They’re tentative to start things off but Shawn throws Razor to the floor, followed by Razor taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. They collide in mid-air but Shawn nips up. Razor is like forget that chico and hits the Razor’s Edge out of nowhere. Ahmed makes the save and the fans aren’t sure if they like that.

They collide again…..and then they do it for a third time. Shawn tags in Sid who had his back to the ring for some reason. This is a rematch from a recent Raw and part of an ongoing feud. Razor can barely get up, allowing Sid to pound away at will. Yokozuna tries to get in a cheap shot on Sid but Sid kicks him away. Razor comes back with some right hands and they clothesline each other down. That’s the fourth time something Razor has done something like that in five minutes.

For some reason, Sid goes up (well he is Sycho) and gets slammed back down for two. A one handed chokeslam (looked awesome) puts Razor down but Sid tags in Shawn instead of powerbombing him. Shawn accidentally superkicks Sid but Bulldog breaks up the pin. Not that it matters as Razor covers again a second later and gets the pin. Sid powerbombs Michaels, his own partner, before leaving. Bulldog and Razor are legal at the moment with Bulldog pounding away….or not as Bulldog was just having fun.

Razor and Shawn are both down but Ramon can only get two. Owen gets the tag to beat on Michaels and drops him with a backdrop. Off to Yokozuna for the first time and he destroys Shawn in the corner. Shawn gets whipped upside down in the corner and it’s off to the nerve hold by Yokozuna. It’s not like Yokozuna is flexing or anything but it does look like a nice shoulder to lean on I guess.

Shawn gets up and is promptly elbowed back down. Off to Owen for a double headbutt to put Shawn down again. Owen misses a swan dive and Shawn makes the tag to Ahmed, who cleans house. The yet to be named Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Bomb) pins Owen and it’s off to Razor vs. Ahmed, which would have been a very interesting feud. Razor bulldogs Johnson down and things break down again with Razor beating up all of his opponents.

Ahmed goes to the corner to pose, and he just happens to put himself in Razor’s Edge position. With Ahmed down, Bulldog comes in sans tag. Here come Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid with DiBiase as Razor hits the fall away slam on Bulldog for two. Razor drills the Kid but walks into the powerslam for the elimination. It’s Shawn/Bulldog/Johnson vs. Yokozuna now.

Shawn gets the fat man first but the right hands don’t do much to Yokozuna, who slugs Shawn down with ease. Yokozuna hits the fat man legdrop but opts for the Banzai instead of covering. Shawn, fearing death, avoids the drop and makes the tag to Ahmed. There’s the slam (for the second time) but Bulldog breaks up the pin by his own teammate. Bulldog gets dropped and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna down. A splash from Ahmed (with a SQUEAL) gets the pin and the victory.

Rating: C+. For a match with almost no point behind it and some wacky teams, this was pretty good stuff. The Shawn vs. Razor stuff was interesting as you knew they had chemistry but it was fun to see them without a gimmick. Ahmed looked good but not great here, which would be the right description of him for his entire run in the WWF. Fun match that was never tried again, which I can understand.

More Clinton stuff with Sunny sitting on his lap. Lucky guy.

Bret talks about his previous matches with Diesel, both of which rocked.

Diesel says he’s Jackknifed Bret twice but he’s not sure if he can beat him. Diesel won the first one by DQ and the second was a draw. They were both good matches so this should be good too.

Perfect picks Bret, JR picks Diesel.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and this is No DQ and no countout. Diesel immediately takes a buckle pad off, so Bret takes another one off to match him. Bret charges him into the corner and goes after the leg but Diesel pounds him over the back to take over. The champ knocks Hart to the floor and Bret is limping. Diesel follows him out and hits a HARD ax handle to put Bret down again. It’s a slow start so far but they have a lot of time.

Hart gets sent into the barricade and goes back in but he bails to the floor immediately. Back in and Diesel wins a slugout, knocking Bret to the floor with a big right hand. Diesel whips him into the steps and keeps the pace slow. A theme of the promos had been wearing Bret tiring Diesel out so there’s some good psychology going on here. Diesel puts Bret down with a hard chair shot to the back and Hart is reeling.

Back in and Diesel loads up the Jackknife but Bret keeps grabbing the leg to block it. Now he bites the champ’s hands to escape. The fans are starting to get into this too. Bret goes for the knee and the champ is in trouble. They do the same opening sequence as Bret goes for the knee again but Diesel hits him in the back. This time though, Bret gets him down and cranks on the knee. See, THAT is storytelling.

Perfect says the line that always gets on my nerves: “They’re all the same size on the mat.” JR properly says “the size and power advantage are negated on the mat.” What JR says is true: Diesel is still bigger than Bret on the mat or standing up. Anyway, Bret cannonballs down onto the knee and there’s the Figure Four. Diesel makes the rope but Bret stays on the bad leg.

Hart tries the Sharpshooter but Diesel thumbs him in the eyes before kicking him into the exposed buckle. Bret picks the leg again and wraps it around the post before tying a cord of some kind around the post. He ties the other end of the cord to Diesel’s leg, making the champion a sitting duck. Bret gets a chair but Diesel uses the free leg for a big boot. Diesel crawls for the chair but Bret gets to it first and wears out the knee with chair shots.

With the leg still attached, Bret pulls off the backbreaker. Bret takes the chair to the top but Diesel punches him down to crotch Bret. Hart gets slammed to the mat, giving Diesel the chance to untie his ankle. Diesel chokes Bret with the cord and hits the side slam for two. Diesel sends Bret chest first into the exposed corner and puts him in 619 position for the running crotch attack, but he can’t run because of the bad leg. Instead he jumps into the air and crashes down on Bret, which looks more painful than the running version.

Diesel can barely hit Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle and Bret is in trouble. He tries another one but Bret escapes and rams Diesel into the exposed buckle. A Hart Attack clothesline gets two on the champ and Bret starts his comeback. That would be his second comeback if you’re keeping track. A middle rope clothesline gets two as does a Russian legsweep. Bret clotheslines Diesel to the floor and tries a plancha but Diesel just steps to the side and lets Bret crash.

Bret starts getting back to the apron but Diesel knocks him off, and for the first time ever, through the Spanish Announce Table. They head back inside and Diesel calls for the Jackknife but Bret falls onto his face from exhaustion. Diesel picks him up to try again but BRET IS GOLDBRICKING and rolls Diesel up for the title out of nowhere in a big surprise.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with both guys looking awesome. It takes the right kind of opponent to get a great match out of Diesel, but when you put a smaller guy like Bret or Shawn in there, the results are almost a guarantee. These two had some classics against each other and this was one of the best ones. I had a blast with this and it worked really well with Bret getting more and more violent and sadistic before faking Diesel out and using a wrestling move to win the title. That’s psychology people, and it’s great.

Diesel snaps post match and lays out Bret and some officials. Bret takes two Jackknifes and Diesel says I’M BACK to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pleasant surprise as with 1995 you often think of something disappointing but instead this was good almost throughout. The Goldust match was terrible but other than that and arguably the Undertaker match, the rest of this is all solid to quite good stuff. Throw in a new World Champion and there’s not much you can call bad here. Very good show.

Ratings Comparison

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

Original: A-

Redo: B

Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze

Original: D

Redo: C+

Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: C

Redo: F

Dark Side vs. Royals

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Team Shawn Michaels vs. Team Yokozuna

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: C+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

As close as the previous show was to being the same, this one is almost entirely different, yet it leads to a very similar overall rating. That’s a very interesting thing and one of my favorite things to see in doing this.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1995-bret-slays-the-giant/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1993: The Bad Times

Survivor Series 1993
Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a transitional time for the company as the major stars of the past are all out of the picture, save for the occasional appearance by Savage. Bret is one of the top stars in the company but is taking a back seat to the more muscular and arguably more marketable Lex Luger. Hart’s time would come though. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over the now face Razor’s Intercontinental Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel (a big man and Shawn Michaels’ bodyguard) and Adam Bomb (a good sized power man) are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid (a rookie who shocked the world earlier in the year by beating Ramon on Raw) are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here.

Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. Razor has a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does right along with him. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight. Savage and Crush had been friends but Crush had turned on him and beaten Savage up, over Savage not visiting Crush when he was injured.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fall away slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in a bit of a surprise. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Wippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team uses common sense and lets them fight. I’ve never gotten why anyone would interfere when their opponents are doing damage to themselves. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) has little problem countering.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. I’m not sure why they keep putting Kid in there against these monsters. A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Villains. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. I really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

Shawn is in the back with the Intercontinental Title. There are two belts at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which presents a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights vs. the Hart Family.

We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack.

Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.

Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.

Combs is in the ring to talk about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow.

Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights

Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight

The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.

Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s Keith with an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.

Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so let’s try Bret vs. Blue. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Off to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.

Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before Red pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package get two each for Bret as he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.

A spinwheel kick drops Black and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red but Owen works over his leg. Back to Bret and who helps make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues.

Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue. Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder.

Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.

Blue stays on the arm including dropping a leg, followed by a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher, allowing the tag to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.

Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.

Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down and Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.

It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick, still not a finisher, gets two on Bruce. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.

Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted by the mistake, allowing Shawn to roll him up for the pin. All of the Harts go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.

Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and crotches Shawn on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.

Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen, the matriarch in the audience, loses it as well.

Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, an idea which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan as was his trademark at this point.

We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking Tatanka’s two year undefeated streak. Tatanka then got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Undertaker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre in a singles match to put him out of the pay per view. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush.

Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson, a legendary team from the 80s) are the champions and they’re defending against Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray. It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. They’re going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s been all Express other than the first fifteen seconds. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton. The guy was a master at it.

A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson. Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese or other foreign wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. It’s back to Booger who sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: F. For failure, which is one of the few words to describe how bad this was. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. On top of all that, Doink, the point of the whole thing, wasn’t even in the match despite it being a character that could be played by almost anyone.

As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose performer has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.

The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.

The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that promo.

Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

All Americans: Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the Tag Team Champions and have Johnny (Raven Polo) as their manager. Yokozuna is WWF World Champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yokozuna and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yokozuna out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga to knock Rick to the floor but Steiner comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Undertaker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott as Undertaker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Ludvig pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yokozuna comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yokozuna eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Undertaker yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yokozuna misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yokozuna who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Undertaker.

The Dead Man hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yokozuna suplex Undertaker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Undertaker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yokozuna goes for another, and Undertaker moves. A clothesline puts Yokozuna on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Undertaker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Undertaker and Yokozuna brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Undertaker was the main draw and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yokozuna vs. Undertaker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.

Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon fiasco, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian. This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point.

Ratings Comparison

Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS

Original: B

Redo: B

Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: D

Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B

Redo: B-

Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: N/A

Redo: Awe

All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: D

It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1993-usa-usa-usa/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992: We’re The New Generation

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This really is a different era in the WWF as we’re moving more towards a child friendly product with more over the top and at times cartoonish characters. It’s not the most interesting all the time, but with the way business was going at the time, it was clear that something had to change. Luckily that gives us a twenty six minute Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels main event. Let’s get to it.

Slick is behind a pulpit in the interview area to start and talks about how great this show was. He goes into preacher mode and talks about spreading joy and peace. I have no idea what this has to do with wrestling and I don’t think he does either.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers (Samu and Fatu, more famous as Rikishi) don’t get an entrance. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but due to racial stereotypes, there’s no effect whatsoever. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

Boss Man is getting ready in the back. He says Nailz is a bad man and that he’s committed a lot of crimes and has to be punished for them.

Sean Mooney issues us a warning about how violent the upcoming match is going to be. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary. Nailz comes in and says he’s been waiting for this for a long time and now he’s out of prison. The story was that Nailz was an allegedly innocent convict that was abused by Boss Man in prison and now he’s here for revenge. It’s corny but it’s as good as anything else.

Boss Man (in his second promo in about two and a half minutes) says he’ll take out Nailz tonight. He sees Nailz in the ring and runs out to the arena.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

This is a nightstick on a pole match, which means you can get it down and use the stick on the other guy. Is it a DQ if the person that doesn’t pull it down uses it? That’s how the rules sound at least. Nailz tries to get to the stick but Boss Man runs out for the save. Nailz isn’t a wrestler so him using nothing but chokes and punches makes perfect sense. He chokes Boss Man down but still can’t get the stick.

A right hand puts Nailz down and Boss Man gets his hand on the stick but he gets slammed down off the top. Nailz works on Boss Man’s back a bit and chokes away some more but Boss Man shoulders him down. A splash misses and Nailz goes for the corner again, only to get crotched as this is already getting slow. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Boss Man quickly gets to the corner to get the stick. Nailz barely sells a stick shot to the face but Boss Man no sells one to the ribs and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was terrible with the no selling looking awful. I mean, it’s a nightstick to the head. There are only so many ways you can get hit with that and be up twenty seconds later. Nailz never did anything other than this although he was scheduled to feud with Undertaker. Boss Man would be gone after the Royal Rumble and wouldn’t be back for years.

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was injustice.

Tatanka, a Native American, is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers. It was a different time.

Flair and Ramon are with Gene. This is a pairing that came out of nowhere but they’re in one of the main events tonight. Ultimate Warrior was supposed to team up with Savage to face these guys but Warrior went nuts and bailed on the company again, leaving Savage without a partner.

Savage was on Prime Time Wrestling (the forerunner to Raw, even though they’re very different shows) and offered the spot on his team to Flair’s manager Mr. Perfect. Heenan, Flair’s other manager, immediately said no and Perfect snapped on him and accepted the offer, causing Heenan to slap him. Bobby begs for Perfect to stay and gets water poured on him for being pathetic.

After the clip is over, Flair is all fired up and wants to know what Perfect is thinking. Perfect basked in Flair’s glory but it was only because Flair allowed it. Now Perfect has made a decision and stepped to the other side and it’s time to pay to the Nature Boy and Razor. Flair looked all kinds of fired up here and it was awesome.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince, McMahon asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and push him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Tatanka is undefeated at this point and remember this is over stolen feathers. They trade chops in the corner with Tatanka taking over via a backdrop. Martel bails to the floor and I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. Rick gets knocked to the floor again and the fans don’t seem to be that interested. Martel is incorrectly called a former Intercontinental Champion. Nice job Vince.

Back inside and Martel pounds away a bit before hitting a hot shot to take over. Off to a front facelock as the fans are distracted by a fight in the crowd. Tatanka suplexes out of the hold but gets put right back in it. The yet to be named Doink the Clown pops up in the aisle making balloon animals. It’s as random of a cameo as it sounds. Another suplex puts Martel down but Rick hits Tatanka in the throat to take him down. It’s back to the stupid facelock as Doink keeps making animals. Tatanka escapes and clotheslines him down before avoiding a charging Martel in the corner.

This is going nowhere at all. Tatanka works on the arm and gets two off a backslide. Back to the arm although it’s fairly late in the match to do so. Doink is tormenting fans now. Martel sends Tatanka over the top to the floor and things somehow get even more dull. Back in and Tatanka goes on the war path and hits a top rope chop. Because he’s an Indian you see. The Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) finally pins Martel.

Rating: D. This was a long match that wasn’t bad. It was worse than bad: it was BORING. That’s the problem with Tatanka: he only had so far that he could go and they pushed that limit WAY farther than they should have. He wasn’t anything interesting and his in ring stuff wasn’t that great. Martel was kind of hanging around at this point and he would be gone soon.

Doink pops the animals he made. That’s not nice.

Perfect talks about being in Flair’s shadow, which he finds laughable. He says Flair has wanted to be like Mr. Perfect since Flair got here, but there can only be one Mr. Perfect. Perfect says he can beat Flair and Ramon with no trouble. Savage says he knows more about surviving than anyone else. Ten days ago he had no partner but now he has Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t trust Perfect, but he thinks they could be the perfect tag team. This did a very good job of hyping up the match in short order.

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Perfect comes out separately to give Heenan momentary hope that he bailed. He comes through the curtain and Heenan ERUPTS, going on a rant that lasts through Perfect and Savage’s very slow walks down the aisle. Perfect and Ramon start things off in an AWA reunion. This is one of Perfect’s first matches in over a year so he may be a bit rusty. Perfect takes Razor to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head, sending Flair into a fit.

Ramon takes him into the corner and gets slapped in the face, which brings in Flair for the big showdown we’ve been wanting for. Perfect beats him into the corner almost immediately and pounds away. We get a Flair Flip out of the corner and Flair runs right into Savage who gets a tag a second later. Savage slaps Flair in the face to tick him off even more. Then he does it AGAIN.

Ramon and Flair both come in and get punched in the face. A couple of clotheslines take Flair down until FINALLY Ramon gets a knee in the back of Savage to slow him down. Razor tries to go for the leg but Randy kicks him off both times. When all else fails, Ramon chokes away to keep Savage in the ring. Off to Flair for more stomping and it’s Ramon in again to work on Savage’s back.

We get Ramon’s signature abdominal stretch with help from his partner spot. Vince tries to imitate Monsoon by saying Ramon needs to hook the toe but it’s just not the same. Savage hip tosses out of it but gets stomped right back down. Flair throws him over the top and tot he floor where Ramon rams Savage into the steps. Back to Ramon for a half crab and Perfect goes for a walk up the aisle. Heenan is ESTATIC.

Never mind though as he turns around and comes back. Well it was a cool moment while it lasted. Randy is busted open and Ramon pounds away on the face even faster. Flair starts covering a lot faster as he’s getting frustrated. Razor comes in and drops an elbow for two and a chokeslam gets the same. With the heels completely in control, Flair goes up top. The man may be a master in the ring, but he NEVER LEARNS.

Savage superplexes him down and Ric is suddenly in trouble. There’s a tag to Ramon and one to Perfect as well. Perfect hits the Hennig neck snap and a knee lift to both guys. Everything breaks down and Flair hits Savage with a chair to make it two on one. Perfect gets knocked into the official but he flips out of the Razor’s Edge and hits the PerfectPlex on Ramon for a delayed two as Flair makes the save. The PerfectPlex to Flair gets the same result and we have two referees in there. One of them calls the match for a DQ, much to the annoyance of the crowd. Savage and Perfect win to calm things down a bit.

Rating: B-. This was a good match that was bordering on great until the lame ending. I wouldn’t see a problem with Flair getting pinned by the PerfectPlex here. They would have a great match on Raw that would send Flair packing soon enough, but for now this was a great return to the ring for Perfect who hadn’t wrestled in quite a while.

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yokozuna is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. Yokozuna immediately shoves Virgil away and chops him down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yokozuna superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did on his dropkicks) to take over.

Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yokozuna but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yokozuna misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. The big man falls on him and it’s BANZAI (middle rope seated senton) for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a big time debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for a long time. Yokozuna would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Royal Rumble in two months and the World Title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

The Natural Disasters are Earthquake and Typhoon, formerly known as Tugboat. Money Inc. (IRS and Ted DiBiase) has the Tag Team Titles and are about to fight the Nasty Boys. This is one of those “when one guy gets pinned, both team members are out” deals, so it’s a max of three falls to end this match. We start with Typhoon vs. Blake Beverly and it’s a strut off. Typhoon starts throwing Blake around and puts him in an over the shoulder backbreaker so he can hand him off to Earthquake for a bearhug.

Beau tries to cheat to help his brother but it only results in a double splash from both Disasters in the corner. Off to Knobbs as the fans aren’t interested in this match in the slightest. Knobbs runs Blake over with clotheslines and brings in Jerry who finally allows a tag to Beau. A pumphandle slam puts Beau down but he no sells it for some reason. Off to DiBiase who can’t suplex Sags, so Sags suplexes him.

Off to IRS who Jerry hiptosses down. The limited selling continues as IRS gets up and brings in Beau for a powerslam and it’s off to Beau again. Off to a chinlock from Blake as the Beverlies keep tagging in and out very quickly. Jerry tries a quick sleeper but they wind up slamming heads to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Earthquake and Blake is in trouble. Earthquake takes out all four of them and everything breaks down. For some reason Beau tries a crucifix on Typhoon and gets crushed for his efforts. The Earthquake from Earthquake eliminates the Beverlies and it’s 4-2.

DiBiase comes in to face Earthquake but gets beaten up by all four opponents in short order. Back to Earthquake who misses a splash in the corner and Money Inc double suplexes the fatter man down. IRS gets two off the suplex and picks him up to freak Bobby out again. Back to DiBiase as the fans are all over IRS. IRS chokes away on Earthquake some more and it’s back to DiBiase for some chops.

A middle rope double ax by Ted gets two so here’s IRS again. The champs do tag in and out quite well. Quake clotheslines IRS down and finally makes the hot tag to Typhoon. House is cleaned and a splash crushes IRS. DiBiase trips up Typhoon and IRS gets the easy pin to tie it up, but Jerry runs in and rolls up IRS for the fast pin to win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasty Boys beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasty Boys were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

Virgil warns Bret Hart about Yokozuna. Of course Bret wasn’t in the same room.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Undertaker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes to a very limited effect. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Undertaker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Undertaker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Undertaker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the Dead Man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Undertaker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Undertaker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Undertaker sits up, followed by an urn shot to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Seriously, that’s it. That’s IT? This is one of the biggest matches on the show and this is all we get? Just a dull match with nothing more than a few shots to the back and a quick ending. This didn’t even make six minutes and Undertaker didn’t even break a sweat in crushing Kamala. Nothing to see here and it was completely worthless, much like Kamala.

Undertaker nails the coffin shut.

Shawn brags about winning the Intercontinental Title a few weeks ago and says he doesn’t need Sherri. Shawn says he beat Davey and Davey beat Bret so Shawn can beat Bret.

Kamala’s managers Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee get Kamala out of the coffin and he’s catatonic. This would lead to the arrival of Giant Gonzalez.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn still has the original version of his music as sung by Sherri and this is champion vs. champion, but only one title is on the line. For the sake of clarity, only Bret will be referred to as champion. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat with Shawn getting in way over his head. Shawn works on the arm and pulls Bret to the mat but Bret nips up. So that’s where Shawn got it from. Bret cranks on the arm and Shawn cranks on the hair. Things speed up and Shawn trips Bret up but it’s right back to the arm. This technical stuff isn’t working for Shawn so far.

Michaels gets to the arm but Bret easily sends him to the floor to escape. Hart takes over on the arm again and Shawn can’t get anything going in the first five minutes or so. A cross body gets two for Bret as does a sunset flip. It’s back to the arm and Shawn is getting frustrated. They hit the ropes and Shawn catches Bret in a hot shot to finally get in some offense. A thumb to the eye puts Bret back in trouble and he charges into the post to make it even worse.

Shawn DDTs the arm as the roles have completely reversed now, although it’s due to evil ways now instead of technical and good ones. See how good psychology can be when it’s done right? Bret’s chest to the buckle spot gets two for Shawn and it’s chinlock time. They fight over a top wristlock but Shawn uses the hair again to pull Bret back to the mat. Bret fights out of the chinlock but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Shawn is one step ahead of Bret in everything the champion is trying right now.

A backbreaker gets another two for Shawn and let’s hit that chinlock again. Shawn ducks his head and a swinging neckbreaker puts him down. It doesn’t last though as cheating by means of a shot to the throat stops Bret again. A front facelock goes on and Bret rams Shawn into the corner with some shoulders to counter. Shawn charges into a boot and a bulldog puts him down. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and both guys are down again.

Michaels connects with a jumping back elbow to the face for two and it’s back to the front facelock. After two arm drops for Bret, he pulls off the fastest small package you’ll see in a long time for two. A suplex by Hart puts both guys down but things start speeding up anyway. Shawn gets sling shotted into the corner and hits the post as is his custom. Bret launches him into the corner and kicks Shawn so hard that Shawn gets crotched on the top rope.

A BIG back body drop gets two on Shawn and Bret is surprised at the kickout. Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and a backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow for the same. Bret superplexes Shawn down but he can’t cover immediately and it only gets two. There’s a sleeper from Hart and the referee gets bumped. That goes absolutely nowhere and he’s up a few seconds later.

Bret tries another sleeper but Shawn sends him to the floor in the exact same way that Bret sent Shawn to the floor earlier in a nice bit of storytelling. Bret gets posted and we head back inside for a whip to the corner for two. The problem here for Shawn is that he doesn’t have a big time finisher as his only big move was a lame suplex. Just as I type that, Shawn superkicks Bret down. It’s not a finisher yet though so he doesn’t even cover.

Bret blocks the tear drop suplex (Shawn’s finisher, basically a high angle belly to back suplex) but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match at Wrestlemania XII) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Rating: A. It’s Bret vs. Shawn with almost 27 minutes. Were you expecting anything but a scientific war? If you make the superkick a finisher instead of a regular move, there’s no way this isn’t even better. Great match here with both guys trading great psychology the whole way through. Really good main event and a great way to show that Hulk isn’t needed to fire up a crowd as they were all kinds of into this match.

Post match here’s…..Santa Claus? He puts a hat on Bret and it starts snowing in the arena.

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Overall Rating: B-. This isn’t a great show but if you have about two hours to kill and a good fast forward button on whatever device you’re using, there are far worse shows you could watch. The main event is great stuff and the tag match isn’t bad either, but it’s better if you know the backstory and watch the build. This was a good show and considering there was no Hogan or Warrior on it, it was a pretty bold yet necessary step for WWF at the time. Good stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Dang I must have really grown to hate Kamala since then. Overall it’s roughly the same though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/11/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1992-bret-vs-shawn-at-survivor-series/

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 19, 1996: On The Road Again

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 19, 1996
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with In Your House VI and the big story is that it’s time for Wrestlemania. There’s barely anything to talk about coming out of last night’s show other than Bret is still champion, Diesel vs. Undertaker is pretty clear for Wrestlemania and it’s a countdown until Shawn wins the title. Let’s get to it.

Sunny, on the beach in a black swimsuit (my goodness) tells us that this show might not be appropriate for all fans.

We recap last night’s main event with Undertaker pulling Diesel through the mat.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

Goldust is defending and I had forgotten he was even champion at this point. Marlena tries to blow smoke in Razor’s face to no effect (not clear how) and it’s time to rip off Goldust’s robe. A clothesline puts the champ on the floor for a breather as Lawler wonders if Goldust likes being manhandled. Goldust gets in a backdrop and we take a break. Back with Goldust grabbing a sleeper but getting crotched on top a few seconds later. Razor gives him a fall away slam over the top for a bad sounding crash. Jerry: “He probably broke his golden globes!” The belly to back superplex sends Goldust running up the aisle for the countout.

Rating: D. Nothing match here as it felt like they were out there for about two minutes worth of action. It’s pretty clear that this is going to be setting up something in the future and probably would have had it not been for all of Razor’s issues at the time. Bad match though and not a good way to start off a show.

Post match Razor grabs the mic and begs Roddy Piper to give him a fight with Goldust because he doesn’t want his kids watching that stuff on TV.

Undertaker walks out of a casket.

Slam Jam recaps almost everything from last night and eats up a lot of time.

BodyDonnas vs. Aldo Montoya/Barry Horowitz

And never mind as Vader beats up the jobbers before the match starts.

The Ultimate Warrior is coming back.

Sunny sings Happy Birthday to Mr. President. I smell a stupid impression.

Bob Backlund campaigns in the crowd.

Ringmaster vs. Marty Jannetty

Vince during Ringmaster’s entrance: “You talk about a stone cold man.” Austin isn’t interested in having any of this wrestling stuff and sends Marty outside earlier. The Stun Gun sends us to a break and we come back with Austin driving a knee into the ribs. We hit the STF and get some LOUD spot calling, which is the kind of thing Austin would complain about today. We hit a neck crank as the fans aren’t that thrilled with Austin as a submission guy. Marty makes his really simple comeback but gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream for the fast submission.

Rating: D+. Marty is a good choice to do a job here as the fans like him and he’s certainly going to put on a solid performance in defeat. Austin really needed a feud though as this character is hardly interesting and isn’t going anywhere at the moment. To be fair though he had to start somewhere and this is better than a lot of the nonsense that some characters got.

Mankind is coming and might even bring his rat.

Tatanka vs. Undertaker

Undertaker chokes Tatanka into the corner like he’s the Undertaker and he’s facing Tatanka. A Samoan drop gives Tatanka a breather but here’s Diesel with an ax to steal a cameraman as we go to a break. Back with Diesel hacking up Undertaker’s casket and Undertaker fighting out of a chinlock. Old School looks to set up the Tombstone but Tatanka counters into a DDT. Diesel is STILL breaking up the casket as the Tombstone puts Tatanka away.

Rating: D-. I’m almost never a fan of a match happening as a backdrop for the angle or whatever else you would call Diesel breaking up a casket. Tatanka can’t be around much longer after this as he’s certainly not around for Wrestlemania and it’s not like he’s been interesting in years at this point.

And now, a new twist on the Billionaire Ted skits: Larry Fling Live on BNN (Billionaire News Network). After some stupid jokes, Randy from Sarasota and Terry from Tampa call in. Huckster needs time off because of a shoe to the eye. The third caller is Jane from Hanoi (Ted Turner’s wife) and this goes nowhere. Larry brings up the predatory practices that Vince whined about for months and Turner suddenly can’t speak about all the charges against him. More next week.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer are angry/distraught to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. What am I even watching anymore? I know they’re getting ready for Wrestlemania but that doesn’t mean everything is all ok. The Billionaire Ted skits, which are closing the show almost every week now, just aren’t funny. They’re basically Vince’s therapy airing on TV and that doesn’t make for good TV for anyone other than him. The wrestling is the mess that you would expect and these shows get worse and worse every single week.

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In Your House VI: Rage in the Cage (2013 Redo): Does Attempted Murder Count As A Heel Turn?

In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.

Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.

The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.

A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.

Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese

Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.

A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.

Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.

We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.

Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.

Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.

We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.

Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.

Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.

A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.

Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.

Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.

Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.

Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.

This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.

Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.

Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.

Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.

Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.

Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.

Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.

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Monday Night Raw – May 22, 1995: The Pre-Game

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 22, 1995
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

King of the Ring already can’t get here soon enough and we’re only eight days removed from the previous pay per view. There’s just nothing interesting going on right now as Ted DiBiase and company aren’t working as top heels. On the other hand, the top faces are Diesel, Shawn and Bam Bam Bigelow. This could be even worse than it sounds. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sid attacking Shawn Michaels a few months back to set up Shawn’s big return tonight against King Kong Bundy.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Jerry have their opening chat.

Razor Ramon vs. Mike Bell

Razor has Savio Vega with him and has recently defeated Jacob Blu to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament. I know it’s obvious that Razor would be involved but that’s the best opponent they had for him? We actually hear about Razor and Jeff Jarrett trading the Intercontinental Title on a house show tour over the weekend, which isn’t something you often hear mentioned on TV.

Bell takes him down for a surprising start but Razor comes right back with his driving shoulder blocks. There’s the fall away slam and we hit something like an STF. Vince and Jerry argue about Lawler’s mom at In Your House as the belly to back superplex sets up….nothing actually as Razor just shoves Bell down and pins him.

Rating: D. Standard squash here with Razor looking good. He should be making a strong run in the King of the Ring as he’s certainly one of the best midcard acts in a long time and above all else he has creditability. I’m really not sure why they didn’t give Razor a stronger push as he should have been more than capable of handling it, assuming his personal issues were under control.

Here’s Bret Hart to get in Lawler’s face. Bret can’t believe he lost at In Your House and now he doesn’t want to hear Jerry calling himself the better man. We even get some Canadian swearing before Bret challenges Lawler to one more match with any terms Lawler wants. So that’s where Christian got the ONE MORE MATCH chant. Even more swearing (WAY intense for 1995) has Bret going after Lawler with Vince having to play defense. No gimmick is announced here but that just keeps you wanting to come back for more.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. John Crystal

This is Helmsley’s Raw debut so we actually have some history on this show. Helmsley works on the arm to start before slapping Crystal in the face like a true blueblood should. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Helmsley finishes this quickly with a cutter, though the Pedigree would come soon enough. I’m always fascinated with these historical moments that no one knew would mean anything for years.

We go to Bob Backlund campaign headquarters for his first campaign ideas: children must purchase a dictionary, read one great American novel every week, ban calculators and computers and get rid of summer vacations. As a seven year old, this TERRIFIED me and I actually bought the whole thing.

The In Your House winner sees the inside for the first time and finds the Bushwhackers in a closet. I’m always stunned that they were still around at this point.

Allied Powers vs. Bill Payne/Tony DeVito

The match almost immediately goes to a split screen so we can see Bulldog electric chair Mabel. Bulldog throws DeVito around, Luger throws Payne around and the powerslam ends Bill in a hurry.

We recap Bam Bam Bigelow vs. I.R.S. from last week.

Kama Mustafa vs. Barry Horowitz

Kama is part of DiBiase’s team. Barry swings away to start and has as much effect as you would expect, only to have Kama miss a charge and fall outside. Vince makes sure to mention that Barry has yet to win a match on Raw, which sounds like foreshadowing. Kama comes back with ease and finishes with a half crab.

Todd previews the Hall of Fame banquet, which is a really low level event at this point. Antonino Rocca is the first name announced for induction.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Shawn Michaels vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy goes right after him to start so Michaels knees him in the back to put the big man on the floor. We take an early break and come back with Shawn hammering away, including some right hands in the corner. Michaels makes the mistake of going outside to mess with DiBiase though, allowing Bundy to hit him from behind and get in a slam on the floor.

We hit the fat man offense that you’ve come to expect from Bundy over the last ten years or so. It’s off to a bearhug (a must have for any big man match) followed by a chinlock (a must have for almost any match longer than two minutes). We see Diesel and Bigelow watching in the back as Shawn avoids a splash and we take a break. Back with Shawn hitting the superkick for the pin. The post break part was less than thirty seconds.

Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t horrible. Bundy was fine for a monster for Shawn to slay, despite there being almost no chance for him to win in the first place. Michaels might be the shot in the arm this company needs as they’re dying for star power and Shawn was one of the hottest acts on the roster.

Diesel and Bigelow come out to congratulate Shawn, who gives Diesel the jumping Too Sweet to show that they’re cool.

Lawler won’t pick a stipulation due to a dry throat.

Undertaker is ready for his King of the Ring qualifying match against Jeff Jarrett.

Overall Rating: D. Historic Raw debut aside, this was another boring show though not as boring as some of them. Shawn coming back is a really good thing for the promotion and another Lawler vs. Bret match should help them along. Above all else though they need a big bad and there really doesn’t seem to be anyone capable of filling that role, including Sid. The roster is killing them right now and a big name turning heel would be the best possible option.

 

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In Your House #1: Mother’s Day Mayhem (2013 Redo): The Short Form

In Your House #1
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

Other than the matches mentioned, the main story tonight is the WWF giving away an actual house down in Florida to play up the In Your House name. This was a major idea that was heavily promoted on WWF television leading up to the show. It was a nice marketing idea as it gave some adults a reason to care about the show and possibly buy it for their kids. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the clash of the giants as well as several other matches on the card.

It’s Mother’s Day, meaning the announcers are going to talk about moms a lot tonight.

The set is exactly what you would expect: a big house with the wrestlers walking through the garage to get to the ring.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Hakushi has his manager Shinja with him. Bret is in the back and says he’s going to prove how great he is and that he’s dedicated this match to his mother. How nice of him. Hakushi is a very unique looking wrestler as he has Japanese characters all over himself, giving him a nickname of the walking Japanese menu. Bret grabs a headlock to start but Hakushi easily escapes to a standoff. Now Bret tries the arm, only to be pulled to the mat by the hair.

The fans chant USA as Hakushi takes Bret down with a flying headbutt for two. Off to an armbar as this is still firmly in first gear. The stupid USA chant begins again, or maybe they’re all fans of the referee? Now it’s Bret on the arm before easily armdragging Hakushi down again, this time to the floor for a breather. Back in and Bret pounds away as things start to pick up again. Hakushi comes back with a kick to the face and what we would call a Vader Bomb for two.

Jerry Lawler is watching gleefully in the back as he still gets to face Bret later in the night. Hakushi stomps Bret down in the corner and hits what we would call a Bronco Buster before stopping to pose. Back up and Hakushi blocks an O’Connor Roll, sending Bret to the floor so he can be stomped even more by Shinja. Another Shinja distraction allows Hakushi to choke even more as the crowd is getting into this. Bret’s comeback is easily stopped by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, setting up a swan dive headbutt from Hakushi for two. Hakushi’s springboard splash misses completely and Bret is back on his feet.

Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom (Russian legsweep, backbreaker, middle rope elbow, atomic drop, Sharpshooter, pick an order for the first four) but he has to stop and deal with Shinja again. Bret pounds away on Hakushi but gets tripped by Shinja AGAIN, finally causing him to dive through the ropes and pound the man in the white suit.

Back in and Hart reverses a suplex into one of his own, sending both guys out to the floor in a nice crash. Shinja’s distraction allows Hakushi to get back up and hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down again. Hart’s ankle might have been twisted in the process. Bret is pulled back in but has his rollup countered into an attempted German suplex, only to counter that into a victory roll to finally beat Hakushi.

Rating: B. Really solid match here and a great way to open up the show as well as the series. Hakushi wasn’t really much of note after this but that’s what Bret was best at: getting the most out of anyone he worked with. Really fun match here which had the time to get going and build into what it needed to be.

Bret twists his knee getting to the floor.

A way too excited woman looks at the entries in the sweepstakes for the house. We even get a video of the truck bringing the entries here earlier today. Seriously.

Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

Handicap match here after Roadie (more famous as the Road Dogg) helped Jarrett take Razor’s Intercontinental Title at the Royal Rumble. Razor’s normal partner the 1-2-3 Kid is out with an injury and calls in to say he’s watching the match. In the back, Razor also dedicates this match to his mom. Vince yells about Roadie and Jarrett both being in the ring to start, prompting Hayes to say that Vince doesn’t make the rules around here in a funny line.

Jarrett starts for the team and is promptly punched down and then slapped in the face. Roadie is lurking around the floor before getting back up on the apron. Back in and Jeff misses a dropkick before being clotheslined hard out to the floor. Roadie gets in a cheap shot to take Razor down from behind, allowing Jarrett to connect with an enziguri to take over. Not that it matters though as Ramon catches Jeff’s cross body in the fallaway slam for two.

Roadie comes in for his first match and scores with a quick clothesline and a snapmare to put him down. Back to Jarrett who gets a quick two off a sunset flip before Razor gets the same off a small package. Not exactly thrilling stuff so far but they’re not boring the people to death. After more basic stuff from Roadie it’s back to Jeff, only to have him jump right into a punch to the ribs. Razor is backdropped out to the floor and there goes his bad knee again. Roadie adds a middle rope clothesline and Ramon is in big trouble.

Back in and Ramon is dazed but still manages to roll through a top rope cross body from Jeff into a two count, only to be taken right back down with a neckbreaker. Jeff’s running hip attack only hits ropes but Razor collides with him, putting both guys down again. Ramon has the word Kid written on his boots. Back up again and Razor hits a belly to back suplex, putting both guys down one more time.

Jeff is able to make the tag before Razor can get up and it’s Roadie hitting a middle rope knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Razor fights up and jawbreaks his way to freedom, putting both guys down for the third time in five minutes. Razor suplexes both guys down but Jeff goes to the bad knee to slow him up. The Figure Four is kicked away though, sending Jeff into Roadie and a quick Razor’s Edge takes Jeff out for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it could have been the same match in about half the time. On top of that the knee injury really didn’t play much of a role in the match after the announcers talked so much about how bad Razor’s knee was. This feud wouldn’t last much longer but it worked pretty well for both Jarrett and Ramon.

Post match the heels go after the knee but Portuguese wrestler Aldo Montoya tries to make the save. That goes nowhere so here’s yet to be named Savio Vega from the crowd for the real save, only to have him be taken away by police.

Jerry Lawler wants to face Bret right now but president Jack Tunney says no.

Video on Sid dominating his way to the title match tonight.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb is about 6’4 and over 300lb but Mabel towers over him at 6’10 and 508lb. Mabel has recently turned heel so he jumps Bomb before the bell rings. A splash in the corner has Bomb in trouble but he comes back with right hands to send Mabel to the floor. Adam dives out onto Mabel and pounds away before sending him back inside for a pair of top rope clotheslines, getting two each. Not that it matters much though as Mabel catches Adam’s cross body and falls down on him (think Mark Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam) for the pin in less than two minutes. Mabel was his usual fat and worthless self here.

Razor introduces the man that saved him as Caribbean wrestling legend Savio Vega.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart

Yokozuna was Owen’s mystery partner at Wrestlemania where they took the belts from the Gunns. Lawler is out here again but still can’t get his match with Bret at the moment. The champions are managed by Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Billy tries to grab a headlock on the 600lb+ Yokozuna and it works as well as you would expect it to. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better but Yoko headbutts Bart down before bringing in Owen.

The Gunns can handle a guy Owen’s size and take him down with a nice dropkick/suplex combination, only to go after Yoko again for some reason. Hart comes back with an enziguri to take Billy down before it’s back to Yoko for a big clothesline. We hit the nerve hold on Billy before it’s back to Owen who gets two off a neckbreaker.

A great looking enziguri puts Billy on the outside but he avoids a charge, sending Yoko into the post. Owen misses a charge of his own and there’s the somewhat hot tag off to Bart. A suplex puts Hart down and the Gunns hit a belly to back/neckbreaker combo for another two before Bart misses a dive and lands on the floor. Yoko drops a leg to crush him ever further before throwing him back in to Owen for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t anything great but with less than six minutes there’s only so much they could have done. The problem with Yokozuna is there’s only so much anyone can do against him and it makes it hard to work around him. Not a horrible match due to Owen but it still wasn’t anything of note.

Diesel is sad because his mom died right after Christmas so he wishes all the other Mother’s a good day. He’s sore from an attack by Henry Godwinn but says he’s 100%. Diesel is also glad that Shawn Michaels will be watching at ringside.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with his…..mother, who looks to be about 24 years old. She wants to see Lawler, who is in his mid 40s here, beat Bret and then challenge Bret’s mom to a fight. We cut to the back to see Bret almost dancing because, in classic Hart fashion, he faked the injury.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

Post match Bret gets up but Lawler escapes with his “mom”.

Sid very slowly says he’ll win the title and that he rules the world.

We look at the sweepstakes house in Orlando. Interviewer Todd Petingill finds some rakes in the garage so he and the annoying interview can mix up the entries before drawing out the winner whom they call with the results. Thankfully this only takes about five minutes.

The announcers talk about the main event for a bit.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending of course and Sid has Ted DiBiase as his manager. The idea here is they both use powerbombs as their finishers, which should tell you a lot about this match. Diesel fires off forearms to start and hits some running clotheslines in the corner to stagger Sid. An elbow to the jaw puts Sid on the floor and it’s time for a breather. Back in and three straight clotheslines get two on Sid as this is all Diesel so far. Sid pulls Diesel to the outside and knocks him down to take over for the first time.

Diesel is sent into the apron and post as the match slows way down with the challenger in control. A running boot to the side of the head has Diesel in even more trouble before they head back inside for clubbing forearms to Diesel’s back. Sid stops to pose, meaning he didn’t pay attention to the opening match. More shots to the back have Diesel in even more trouble and we hit a camel clutch. After about a minute and a half in the hold Diesel fights out, only to have Sid cannonball down onto his back for two.

Back to the camel clutch with Sid leaning forward, as in the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing. At least pull your arms back man. Diesel starts breaking it, presumably out of boredom, and avoids a second cannonball attempt. Not that it matters though as Sid chokeslams him down and hits a quick powerbomb but poses instead of covering. DiBiase freaks out until Diesel is up at about two and one tenth. Diesel avoids a charge into the corner and drops Sid face first onto the buckle. There are the big boot and the Jackknife powerbomb but DiBiase’s other man Tatanka comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. There’s a reason you rarely see matches with the same style going for a long time: they’re not very good. The styles clash is too much to overcome and when it’s such a basic style like these two have, it doesn’t work well at all. Two similar styles can work, but you better be awesome at that style. Sid isn’t particularly good at anything in the ring and this was a prime example.

Sid, Tatanka and DiBiase triple team Diesel until Bam Bam Bigelow, a man DiBiase fired a month earlier, makes the save. Wasn’t Shawn supposed to be watching live?

Overall Rating: D+. The opening match was solid stuff but after that everything flew by until the horrible main event. This was a bad time for the company as Diesel wasn’t very interesting on top of the card but he could have good matches with the right opponents. Sid was so far from the right opponent that he was left, making for a bad match. Not much to see here but things would get a lot better. Also, the show only ran for 96 minutes, which just isn’t enough to go anywhere.

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Monday Night Raw – May 1, 1995: It Just Keeps Going

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 1, 1995
Location: Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Sweet goodness I might as well just do the rest of 1995 at this rate. We’re just past Wrestlemania XI (close enough) and we’re about two weeks away from the first In Your House, meaning it’s time for Diesel vs. Sid. Yeah like I’ve said many times, this really isn’t a good period for the company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Tatanka costing Bam Bam Bigelow the WWF World Title last week, causing Ted DiBiase to fire him. Bigelow fought back and said he quit, earning himself a big beatdown including a horrible powerbomb from Sid. Diesel ran out for the save and a Jackknife on Tatanka. Bigelow and Diesel shook hands to end the show.

Opening sequence.

We look at Sid powerbombing various people to send him into the main event.

Lawler has a contract for Bret Hart.

Allied Powers vs. George Anderson/Tom Hagan

That would be British Bulldog/Lex Luger. Anderson starts with Lex and gets hiptossed for trying to run the ropes. Bulldog comes in and eats a forearm to the face so it’s off to Hagan. As Bulldog beats on Hagan, I have to describe Tom’s attire, which looks like a birthday party store exploded. Anderson misses a charge and gets powerslammed for the squash pin.

We look at Jeff Jarrett cheating to retain the Intercontinental Title over Bob Holly on the Action Zone, resulting in the match being restarted. Holly got the pin but Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Bob was named the new champion but the title was held up. Holly’s win isn’t considered an official title reign.

Bob Holly vs. Butler Stevens

Stevens takes him into the corner to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed for his efforts. A few knees to Bob’s ribs don’t do much and Holly’s high cross body is good for the pin.

We go to the In Your House Control Center with Todd Pettengill plugging the idea that the show is only $15. That really should be the selling point for this show: it’s 2/3 the length of a regular pay per view but only half the price. The big story here: Razor Ramon will be facing Jeff Jarrett/the Roadie in a handicap match due to a very real neck injury to the 1-2-3 Kid. Oh and they’re giving away a house in Orlando.

Mantaur vs. Sonny Rogers

Mantaur, the half man/half bull, has Jim Cornette with him. It’s the squash you would expect with Mantaur throwing him around, hammering away in the corner, shrugging off a comeback attempt and winning with a World’s Strongest Slam. They were just so lost at this point and Mantaur is a great example.

A cop from NYDP Blue accuses Man Mountain Rock of pretending to be a wrestler. Hey now he wasn’t horrible.

Sycho Sid vs. Razor Ramon

And no match as Sid jumps him through the pyro and destroys Razor in fantastic fashion. I remember watching this as a kid and thinking Sid was amazing for jumping through the pyro. Like, that’s crazy. Diesel makes the save.

Adam Bomb vs. Dave Sigfried

Bomb throws him around as you would expect and grabs a snap suplex. A clothesline breaks up Dave’s hiptoss attempt and Bomb lets this go a bit longer. Some really basic offense (clothesline, hiptoss, right hands) keep Sigfried in trouble and a top rope clothesline ends the goof.

Rating: D. I always liked Bomb so we’ll call this a little better than the normal dull jobber squash. He was a horrible talker or otherwise he might have been a good choice for a midcard power guy. But then he got squashed by Mabel at In Your House because KING MABEL could not be stopped.

Bomb throws his toy footballs into the crowd. That’s always going to work.

Razor gets medical treatment.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley is snooty and rich.

Men on a Mission vs. Bill Duke/Kevin Kruger

Mabel throws Kruger around (way too common tonight) and chokes him in the air. The jobbers’ double dropkick has no effect so it’s off to Mo for a change. A knee to the ribs drops Duke but Mo misses an elbow drop. It’s back to Duke as this squash just keeps going. We actually hit a chinlock for a bit before Mabel finally ends it with a belly to belly.

Rating: F. WAY too long here as it took the better part of five minutes to get rid of these goofs. Men on a Mission just wasn’t interesting as a heel team (or anything more than a comedy face team for that matter) but it was even worse when they turned Mabel into a monster heel for reasons of genuine stupidity.

Here’s Bret Hart to answer Lawler’s contract offer. Vince does Bret’s pose for a funny visual. Apparently Lawler thinks Bret signed to face Hakushi to get out of a match against Jerry at In Your House. Bret will fight Hakushi at In Your House but he’ll fight Lawler on the same night as a bonus. Pyro goes off to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was the kind of horrible show that you grew to expect around this time, which should tell you why no one talks about this era. I was bored out of my mind with most of these matches and it’s all building towards Mabel vs. Adam Bomb? That’s my big reward after all this? Nitro can’t come around to light a fire under Vince soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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