Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Smack Em Whack Em
Date: 1993
Host: Lord Alfred Hayes, Bushwhackers
Commentators: Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon

Ah here we go, as the WWE Vault continues to upload Coliseum Videos, though in this case we have one of the best ever released. There are some classic matches here with a major focus on Bret Hart, who was becoming the new star of the company now that the Hulk Hogan Era was mostly over. This should be a lot of fun so let’s get to it.

Lord Alfred Hayes welcomes us to a house that is needing to be renovated. The people fixing things up: the Bushwhackers, who wack in from off camera, naturally with their music playing. They have been hired to turn this place into the Bushwhackers’ Wrecking Room. The first thing we have to worry about is safety, so they give Hayes some safety glasses and a helmet. And a tool belt. And gloves. And now we’re off to the first match.

From Erie, Pennsylvania, November 23, 1992.

Crush vs. Berzerker

Crush starts fast by ducking a clothesline and hitting a belly to belly suplex. Berzerker is sent outside, followed by a flying shoulder to send him out there again. Back in and Berzerker hammers away, setting up a big boot to put Crush down for a change. This time it’s Crush getting knocked out to the floor, setting up a piledriver for two back inside. Crush’s arms get tied in the ropes so Berzerker kicks away, which wakes Crush up for some reason. A backbreaker and legdrop give Crush two and the head vice finishes Berzerker at 6:17.

Rating: C. They kept this short but it was a way to push Crush forward a bit more as his near mega push was on. You could see what the company saw in him as he had the look and style that had worked for them over the years. That being said, I’m not sure I could have seen him going all the way to the top. Beating monsters like Berzerker is a good way to go, but going beyond that might have been too far.

Back at the house and the Bushwhackers try to install a window but their measurements don’t quite work. Butch’s sledgehammer shots are a few feet low, but they think it’s fine because the dog can use the window.

From Dayton, Ohio, November 24, 1992.

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

Repo moves around to start but for some reason tries a waistlock. An elbow to the face knocks that away and Earthquake runs him over as commentary talks about owing debts on various things. The splash in the corner connects but Repo is back with some right hands and a middle rope clothesline actually puts Earthquake down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Earthquake, who fights up but misses an elbow. Repo takes too long going up though and gets powerslammed, setting up the Earthquake for the pin at 4:24.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a nothing match here, as Repo was a weird choice to face a monster like Earthquake. At the same time, it’s a strange time for Earthquake, as the Natural Disasters were something of a lifeline to him. With Yokozuna coming in though, there wasn’t much of a place for Earthquake and that was becoming fairly obvious with something like this.

The Bushwhackers use a saw on the wood but say that their mother would be proud of them. Then they accidentally cut an electrical wire, but insist on safety first. Hayes is promptly electrocuted, and perhaps killed.

And now, eating for the single man with Yokozuna. He eats a lot and Gene Okerlund is impressed. This goes on for over ten minutes and it’s just him eating. They keep presenting more food to him and he eats it, with Gene trying some. I have no idea what the point of this is, but man he sure does eat a lot.

Now we get to something a lot more fun: a profile on new WWF Champion, Bret Hart. Gorilla Monsoon talks to Bret about some of the matches we’ll be seeing, including some newfangled thing called a ladder match. Bret even thinks that Shawn Michaels might have had secret ladder match experience.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn, with Sister Sherri, is challenging in the first ever (in the WWF at least) ladder match. After the belt is hung, Shawn starts hammering away but gets dropped with a quick clothesline. Bret comes back with some right hands and the always good looking headbutt but Shawn punches him down for a change. As Monsoon LOSES IT over Sherri having a tattoo on her chest, Shawn gets in a knee to the ribs for another knockdown.

That’s enough for the first ladder to be brought in but Bret cuts him off (starting a bit of a weird tradition in ladder matches of NO, I’M BRINGING THE LADDER IN FIRST) and hammers away on the floor. That means it’s time for Sherri to offer a distraction, allowing Shawn to set the ladder up inside. Bret cuts it off again but Shawn cuts him off just as quickly, with the ladder falling down.

Shawn rams the ladder into the ribs but eventually hits the post, forcing him to leave the ladder in the corner. Another knockdown lets Shawn go up and he touches the belt, only to be knocked back down with the ladder falling on him for a nasty crash. This time it’s Shawn knocking Bret off the ladder as the crashes continue to mount up. Bret knocks him off the ladder for no crash, but the ladder being put into the corner can’t go well. The middle rope clothesline puts Shawn down before slingshotting him into the ladder.

It’s too early to get the title though and Bret comes down, possibly twisting his knee in the process. A double down gives them a breather and Sherri is absolutely losing her mind. They both go up and then come crashing down so Sherri grabs Bret’s foot. That lets Shawn hit the superkick and the teardrop suplex before doing the really slow climb. Bret dropkicks the ladder over, sending Shawn crashing hard out to the floor. That’s finally enough for Bret to retain the title at 13:46.

Rating: B. The thing to remember here is that this was the first ladder match in WWF history. No it doesn’t have a bunch of huge spots or really anything else, but it’s not that kind of a match. Instead, this was a match which happened to have a ladder involved rather than a match focusing on a ladder. It helps that Bret and Shawn have great chemistry, which was on display here as they worked the ladder in very well. Good match and it’s a shame that it is so forgotten.

Gorilla talks about Bret defending the title so frequently. This includes a title defense against Kamala, when he was still all evil. Bret knew he had to be a fighting champion and that’s what he was going to do.

From Louisville, Kentucky, October 28, 1992.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Kamala

Kamala, with Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman, is challenging. Bret gives his glasses away as usual before ducking a lockup attempt as we’re over a minute in already. A waistlock doesn’t go so well for Bret as he gets taken into the corner, only to avoid a splash. Another missed charge lets Bret start in on the arm but he has to avoid some falling chops. Kamala has to go to the ropes (with his managers telling him to do it, then telling him he needs to let it go) before offering a test of strength.

Bret (eventually) tries it for some reason but catches the cheap shot, steps on the bare foot, and goes back to the arm. Kamala chops him down though and we hit the bearhug. For some reason that’s dropped in a hurry so Kamala can grab the pectoral claw. That’s broken up and Kamala actually leapfrogs him (COMPLETELY no sold by commentary) but Bret is back with a Russian legsweep. The middle rope clothesline into the middle rope elbow but the managers break up the Sharpshooter attempt. Instead Bret just rolls him up to retain at 8:50.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that shouldn’t have been very good but Bret did what he could to make it work. There was only so much that could be done with someone like Kamala, who was only going to do much. Nice stuff here, with Bret getting a defense against a rather scary looking monster, which often works.

Post match Kamala and the managers go after Bret again but he pulls Wippleman in the way of the splash and clears the ring.

Gorilla and Bret preview the title match against Ric Flair, with Bret saying this was his one chance to get the title and he was winning no matter what. He even sprains his ankle and dislocates a finger early on but kept going anyway. It’s rare to see them giving away the result early but it’s kind of a huge deal.

From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada, October 12, 1992.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Mr. Perfect, is defending. Commentary makes a big deal about this being the hometown of Bret’s father Stu, just in case this wasn’t a big enough moment. Flair backs him into the corner to start and we get a clean break, plus a WOO for good measure. A headlock to the mat has Bret down but he reverses into a hammerlock, which gets a nice reaction.

Back up and Flair backs him into the corner for a chop as commentary talks about how good a match between Bret and Mr. Perfect would be. You know, like when Bret beat him for the Intercontinental Title and it was great? The threat of a Sharpshooter sends Flair outside and it’s a headlock to slow him down back inside. Bret wins the fight over a top wristlock as they’re firmly in first gear. A wristlock into a hammerlock keeps Flair down but he’s able to punch his way out of a sunset flip attempt.

Bret’s second sunset flip attempt results in Flair’s trunks coming down (of course) so Flair goes to the eyes to calm things down. Bret gets in a shot of his own but it’s way too early to get a Figure Four on Flair. Instead Bret drops some elbows on the leg (Flair: “OH GOD! NO!”) and now the Figure Four can work. After some quick two counts, Flair makes it over to the ropes for the break.

Bret gets two off a backslide before grabbing a sleeper. That’s countered with a belly to back though and they’re both down again. Flair goes after the leg as well and we’re quickly into the Figure Four, which lasts for a good while. Bret finally turns it over so Flair chops away in the corner and kicks away at the leg even more.

Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two but he charges into a boot in the corner. As usual, Flair goes up and gets slammed back down, allowing Bret to grab the Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow and a suplex get two each, followed by a superplex. Bret grabs the Sharpshooter, keeps it on as Perfect gets on the apron, and makes Flair give up for the title at 26:28.

Rating: A-. This was as big of a shocker as you could get as Bret was a strong star but the idea of him winning the title was out of nowhere. It was great to see and came at the end of a very good match, which saw the crowd hanging in there for every second. Bret survived everything that Flair threw at him and then beat him clean with his finisher, which is (albeit about twenty minutes longer) about the same thing that Hulk Hogan did to the Iron Sheik. Heck of a moment here, and it more than holds up. Flair was finishing up and had an ear issue as well, so everything kind of came together and it went about as well as possible.

Gorilla praises Bret, who is ready to be a fighting champion.

We go back to the house (oh yeah that’s a thing), where it’s time to work on the plumbing. Naturally it’s safety first, but then it’ll be time to build a Bushwhackers bathroom. Luke uses a wrench on a pipe and Hayes is quickly soaked. We’ll get away from this too.

From Beaumont, Texas, January 4, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Razor Ramon

Ramon isn’t sure what to do with Undertaker to start so he slugs away, which goes about as well as you would expect. Undertaker comes back but misses the elbow, allowing Ramon to clothesline him to the floor. That earns Ramon a necksnap across the top rope but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope bulldog to really stagger Undertaker for a change.

A chair to the back and a whip into the steps have Undertaker in more trouble and they head back inside. Ramon drops about ten straight elbows, which have Paul Bearer trying to get in for the save. Ramon takes the Urn and clocks Undertaker, who pops up at two and hits a chokeslam. That’s enough for Ramon to run off for the countout at 7:30.

Rating: D+. I didn’t like it when they did almost the exact same match (with an identical finishing sequence, even down to the elbows) on Invasion Of The Bodyslammers so this wasn’t much to see. It’s a weird way to go as a final match on the tape after all of the Hart stuff, but this was just disappointing, to the point where I was checking the other tape to make sure it just wasn’t the same match with new commentary. It really shouldn’t be that hard.

Back at the house, the Bushwhackers have a chair set up for Hayes so he can watch his favorite Coliseum Videos at the end of a hard day. This oddly works and Hayes wraps it up. Then the lights go out and the Bushwhackers say OH NO to end the tape.

Overall Rating: B. Why yes, a match with a big focus on Bret Hart as he’s becoming the top hero in the company is worth a look, as the two good matches are REALLY good, with the title change being great. That being said, there isn’t much else to see here, with the main event being flat out lame given that they did pretty much the same match just a few months earlier on another tape. Throw in the Bushwhackers stuff just not being funny and the whole thing was up and down, but dang those ups are worth your time.

 

 

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Paul Bearer’s Hits From The Crypt
Host: Paul Bearer
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Johnny Polo

Sometimes you need some good old fashioned Coliseum Video and…well this is from around 1994 and that’s not going to be the top shelf stuff. In this case, we should at last have some good stuff in there. I’ve done this tape before but it’s been a good many years and who am I to question the WWE Vault? Let’s get to it.

Paul Bearer welcomes us from the crypt and talks about the THOUSANDS of matches he’s gone through to pick the following.

From Syracuse, New York, April 12, 1994.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Lex Luger

Feeling out process to start as commentary goes on a bit of a weird rant about Jerry Jarrett (Jeff’s father) having a big mouth and running back to the south. Luger grabs a headlock to start so Jarrett complains about a hair pull, which commentary does not like. Jarrett’s shoulders to the ribs in the corner just seem to annoy Luger so Jarrett goes with some arm cranking.

That just earns him a gorilla press and the fans approve, but then Luger just strolls around the ring, as tends to be his case. A clothesline out of the corner gives Jarrett a breather and commentary is on him about wasting time, ignoring Luger being far worse about it just a few seconds earlier. Some ax handles to the back keep Luger in trouble as commentary calls out Luger for his lack of fire. Dang you can hear the burial building and it’s only going to get worse. Lane: “Lex could be sick, he could be injured. He could be coming off a European tour and be tired!”

The sleeper goes on and Luger has to fight up after two arm drops. Luger powers up and gets a suplex before starting the generic comeback. A few clotheslines and an elbow into a powerslam (Monsoon: “Not all that well executed by Lex.”) sets up the Rebel Rack to finish Jarrett at 13:13.

Rating: D+. Luger might as well have been reaching out for the paycheck that was keeping him going at this point as there was NOTHING here that would make you want to see him again. It was the most generic offense (as always) and absolutely no fire at all, with commentary coming close to burying him. It’s no shock that he was more or less done as anything important, as this was a cross between dull and embarrassing to watch.

From Springfield, Massachusetts, February 2, 1994.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels with Diesel, is challenging and takes his time to start. They shove each other a bit before Ramon throws the toothpick into his face to really get things going. Michaels bails out to the floor for a chase before running the ropes back inside as we’re over two minutes in without any major contact. A leapfrog doesn’t quite work for Michaels though and Razor gets in a powerslam for two.

Michaels’ neckbreaker gives him two of his own but Razor punches his way out of a sunset flip, setting up the big clothesline to the floor. They go outside where Razor pulls the floor padding back but a Razor’s Edge on the floor is broken up, allowing Michaels to get in a hard posting. That slows things down a good bit and a slam on the exposed concrete has Razor’s back in trouble.

Back in and Shawn starts in on said back, including a top rope ax handle and a chinlock with a knee between the shoulders. That’s switched into a regular chinlock until Razor fights up, only to have his back give out on a backslide. The chinlock goes back on and Monsoon goes into an anatomy rant that has to be him showing off. Said chinlock lasts a rather long time until Razor fights up and hits a big running knee.

A backdrop sends Michaels flying but Razor’s back gives out to leave them both down again. Razor starts hammering but Diesel pulls him outside with Michaels joining in for the double countout at 11:28. Hold on though as Razor grabs the mic and says let’s see who the real champion is. Michaels eventually comes back in but Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work, allowing Razor to punch Michaels out of the air for two. The belly to back superplex is broken up and Michaels hits a nice superkick for two.

Back up and the referee gets bumped, meaning there is no one to count after the Razor’s Edge. Diesel comes in with a belt shot but the referee is still down. After a delay so long that it had to be mistimed, the referee gets up for two as Marty Jannetty runs in for the save. Somehow that isn’t a DQ so Diesel misses a shot at Marty and hits Michaels by mistake, allowing Razor to get a rollup pin at 18:54.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one, as you would think that a nearly 20 minute Razor vs. Michaels match would be a layup, but they tried to pack a lot into the end while not doing much for long stretches earlier on. The chinlock went on WAY too long and they had to lay around for a good while at the end, likely due to Marty being late. If you cut about five minutes out of this, it’s far better, though I kept waiting on one of them to grab a ladder as those matches are so much more famous.

Bearer takes us to a dressing room which was used by people like WC Fields and Harry Houdini. Ok then.

From Syracuse, New York on April 12, 1994.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mabel

Luna Vachon and Oscar are here too as I wonder what I did so wrong to wind up here. Bigelow jumps him to start and nearly knocks the….whatever it is that he’s wearing. Mabel is back with an elbow, only to miss an elbow drop. An armdrag of all things takes Bigelow down and Mabel grabs an armbar as it’s already time for a breather. The armbar goes to the mat before Mabel manages a suplex, only to miss a splash.

Bigelow enziguris him to the floor where Oscar runs away from Luna (smart man). Commentary compares Mabel’s hair to Bigelow’s tattoos as Mabel slowly gets back inside. Bigelow grabs an armbar as Monsoon says that it’s hard to see where one ends and where the other starts. No Gorilla, it really isn’t.

An armdrag into another armbar has Mabel down as Lane is mocking Luna’s facial tattoos. Mabel fights up and gets in an armdrag, followed by a not so great dropkick. The spinwheel kick (it didn’t get much air) sets up a splash to Bigelow in the corner, only for him to break up a bulldog as this keeps going. A better than expected Cactus Clothesline leaves them on the floor and a rather fast ten count is a double countout at 8:32.

Rating: D. Oh like this was ever going to be good. Bigelow was trying here but there is only so much you can do with someone Mabel’s size. It was slow and very plodding with a lot of laying around in between the moves that didn’t go well. The WWF LOVES this kind of match though and I can see why live fans would have some fun with it, but dang it does not exactly hold up well.

Bearer says we’ve all been following the Headshrinkers vs. the Quebecers but he recaps it for us anyway.

From Burlington, Vermont on April 26, 1994 and actually from the May 2 Raw.

Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Headshrinkers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo, are defending. Fatu and Pierre start things off as Vince thinks there are some Quebecers fans around here because we’re so close to Canada. They shove each other around to start with Fatu being rather excited. Fatu runs him over and it’s off to Jacques vs. Samu and a rake of the eyes lets the villain take over. Everything breaks down and the Quebecers are knocked outside, which is enough for them to walk out.

That’s enough for the referee to say get back in here or it’s a title change. The Quebecers do run back in, break the count, and then head outside again and we take a break. Back with Pierre getting knocked around as Savage seems to want a sandwich. Jacques gets in a knee from the apron to take over and the big clothesline turns Fatu inside out. A ram into the steps has Fatu in trouble and it’s a clothesline/legsweep combination for two. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Fatu for two more and we’re clipped to Fatu managing a backdrop over the top.

Naturally that means it’s time to put the camera on the commentators, with the tag back to Samu bringing us back to the ring. That’s cut off in a hurry though as Samu’s head gets caught in the ropes to slow him down. A piledriver puts Samu down but the top rope Cannonball misses. Polo tries to get up but gets dropped by Afa and Captain Lou Albano. Jacques accidentally decks Pierre, who hits him right back. The double Stroke into the Superfly Splash gives Fatu the pin and the titles at 19:30.

Rating: C-. I was always a Headshrinkers fan but this didn’t work out very well. Other than Pierre getting some crazy height on the Cannonball, there wasn’t much to be seen here. It was just a kind of dull match, though seeing a title change on a tape like this is a cool bonus. Just have a better match next time.

From Poughkeepsie, New York on March 21, 1994, from the April 4 Raw.

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

Wrestlemania X rematch with Earthquake powering him out of the ring to start. Bomb misses a big swing and gets clotheslined back down for his efforts. Another knockdown works for Bomb and an elbow gets two. Earthquake does his best Andre impression by being tied up in the ropes but we pause for Howard Finkel to stare Harvey Wippleman down. Bomb misses another elbow but so does Earthquake. A top rope clothesline gives Bomb two but Earthquake hits a nice belly to belly. Another elbow (geez) and legdrop set up the Earthquake from Earthquake for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D+. Well that was a lot of missed elbows. Seriously there were probably five of them missing in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long. It isn’t a good sign when the match is this long and somehow worse than their really short match at Wrestlemania. Also, Earthquake winning again in 1994 is bizarre to see.

Bearer has apparently been in a theater and recaps what we have been seeing. He could be completely cut out of this and nothing would be lost. And he’s not even in a crypt!

From Utica, New York on April 11, 1994 on the April 18, 1994 Raw.

Bret Hart vs. Kwang

Hart’s WWF Title isn’t on the line. Kwang hammers away to start and kicks Hart in the face before spraying the green mist into the air (not slime Vince). Hart fights up and takes over onto the arm, including some armdrags into an armbar. That’s broken up and Hart is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Kwang hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner and getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare). The nerve hold goes on as Owen Hart calls in, with Bret fighting up and hitting a quick crossbody. Owen calmly talks about how he’s going to beat Bret in a Wrestlemania rematch as Bret fights back and hits a few Moves Of Doom. The Sharpshooter finishes Kwang off at 10:18.

Rating: C. Well that was short and to the point. This was little more than a reason to have Owen call in and to get Bret on the tape. That makes for a weird moment though as this was about setting up an upcoming Raw match, which you wouldn’t be able to see if you were watching the tape later. It doesn’t help that it was a nothing match with Kwang not being much of a challenge in any way.

From Rochester, New York on April 13, 1994.

Quebecers/Jeff Jarrett vs. Men On A Mission/Doink The Clown

Monsoon forgets that Ray Rougeau has retired and it’s Doink dropping a right hand on Jacques to start. Jarrett gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to stomp away as commentary points out that the Quebecers’ titles aren’t on the line. You couldn’t put this match before the title change on the same tape? Mo comes in to trade shoulders with Pierre, who easily takes over with a big running shoulder (that looked good), only to charge into a spinebuster.

Doink comes in but gets stomped down as the alternating beating begins. A big toss sends Doink throat first onto the top rope and Pierre gets backdropped onto him for two. Jarrett’s dropkick in the corner sets up more choking and Doink is about to lose his hair. Monsoon: “HEY DOINK! GET OUT!” A sunset flip gives Doink one and he is immediately stomped right back down.

Doink finally gets a boot up to knock Pierre away and the tag…well it should bring in Mable as the referee didn’t see it despite looking right at them. Monsoon is calling for Mabel to come in and drag Doink to the right corner as Jacques gets two off a piledriver. Doink gets up and brings in Mabel to clean house without much effort. A clothesline sets up the double splash to pin Jacques 11:33.

Rating: D+. This tape is getting to the point of horrible with one dull match after another. Here we had Doink getting beaten up for a good while, with Monsoon getting annoyed at the whole thing (and forgetting who was Mo and who was Oscar). Mabel was the big wrecking ball at the end but it was a really dull path to get there.

Paul Bearer talks about going to the theater with Undertaker on cold nights.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on February 2, 1994.

Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Yokozuna/Crush

Savage is banged up but Monsoon insists that he was going to wrestle after putting his “John Henry” on the contract. Luger and Yokozuna start things off with Yokozuna punching him down. Some running clotheslines rock Yokozuna but he drops Luger with a single clothesline. Savage comes in to work on the arm and the good guys change without a tag when Crush tries to cheat.

Yokozuna pulls Luger over to the corner for the tag to Crush, who takes over rather quickly. It’s already back to Savage, who gets distracted by Mr. Fuji and beaten down into the corner as things slow back down. Crush grabs a bodyscissors as this couldn’t be more of a “yeah we’re doing the match, don’t expect anything else” match if it tried, because they aren’t exactly doing so.

Yokozuna comes in for the nerve hold (with his back to the camera because this wasn’t a TV match. The big charge misses in the corner and Savage…well eventually goes towards the right corner but takes so long that Crush cuts him off. Crush goes up top but misses a….I think we’ll say knee, allowing the tag off to Luger. That’s cut off almost immediately but Savage gets in a salt bucket shot to Crush for the pin at 12:21. Yeah what a hero.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness this was lame as CRUSH was probably working the hardest here. No one cared in the slightest out there and the match just came and went. I know it’s the last match of the night and the fans are ready to go home, but sweet goodness, a bit of effort should not be too much to ask. Horrible stuff.

Bearer sets up the main event, thank goodness.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on November 30, 1993.

Undertaker vs. Crush

Crush doesn’t even get an entrance here to show you how important this is. Commentary makes impotence jokes as we get a staredown to start. Crush hammers away but gets caught with a running DDT as the pace is already slowing. An elbow drop misses and it’s a clothesline to put Undertaker on the floor, only for him to grab the Stunner over the top.

Old School connects before Undertaker misses the jumping clothesline (that looked weird). Crush superkicks him outside as Johnny Polo wants to know the difference between a thrust kick and a crescent kick. Some chair shots put Undertaker down and the slow strikes ensue. A ram into the corner wakes Undertaker up for some reason but Crush cuts him off with a backbreaker.

The posing lets Undertaker sit up, with Polo freaking out because it takes so long for Undertaker to sit up that you can pin him. Crush does some military presses (geez) and drops a leg but Undertaker sits up again. For some reason Crush tries a Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to give Undertaker the win at 7:02.

Rating: C-. First and foremost: Johnny Polo came as close to saving this as he was HILARIOUS, with the running gag about covering Undertaker before the situp being great stuff and seemingly accurate. Other than that, they didn’t do much here but Crush’s military presses were impressive and Undertaker can do some good things with just about anyone. Somehow this was a better match than almost anything on the tape, which shows you just how bad things are going here. It wasn’t a great or even good match, but at least it was a nicer (on a sliding scale) way to end things.

Bearer wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D-. When Kwang is in the second best match out of two hours, there is not much wroth seeing on this stupid tape. This was one of the worst releases I’ve ever seen from Coliseum Video as there was no reason for it to be this bad. You could see how bad things were for the WWF around this time and egads this was a perfect showcase of why. Bad wrestling, few stars to get behind and just….what was supposed to be good here? Absolutely awful stuff.

 

 

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Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

So this is a Coliseum Video which I had as a kid and watched over and over, making this something of a nice flashback for me. It’s something that was uploaded to the WWE Vault and that means I have a reason to watch it all over gain. Granted I didn’t say it was good, so keep that in mind. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring highlights that put us in mid 1993.

Lord Alfred Hayes and Slick welcome us…from the bowling alley, because it’s time to teach Kamala how to bowl. Slick says he has bowled 27 perfect games and it’s time to teach Kamala how to do that today. First up, he needs shoes. We’ll work on that during the first match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California.

Earthquake vs. Yokozuna

Mr. Fuji is here with Yokozuna. After nearly a minute and a half of getting ready and posing, they shove each other a bit as this is taking its time. Some kicks to the ribs stagger Yokozuna but a running shoulder doesn’t do much for Earthquake. Three clotheslines put Yokozuna down to one knee but a running shoulder drops Earthquake, setting up the running legdrop. Back up and Fuji offers a distraction, allowing Yokozuna to hit a corner splash. The Banzai Drop finishes Earthquake off at 3:43.

Rating: D. This was nothing, with almost half of the match being spent staring at each other before they started making contact. The action, and I use that term loosely, was about two minutes long and it didn’t work. They’re both capable of so much more and it was just nothing to see, which is rather disappointing.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Beau punches Sags in the face to start but Sags is back with a faceplant to Blake. This lets Heenan go on an amusing bit about which Beverly is which, where he eliminates the Nastys and the referee before saying that the one in the purple is a Beverly. Ross: “And what might his first name be?” Heenan: “Mr.” Knobbs comes in and picks up the pace, including a faceplant, only for Beau to hit one of his own (this is already repetitive and we’re barely three minutes in).

Blake clotheslines Knobbs down but misses a middle rope splash. What looked like a low blow cuts Knobbs down again but he comes back with a hair takedown (so a reverse faceplant). That’s enough to bring Sags back in for the house cleaning, including a double faceplant (oh come on). The brawling is on and the referee gets shoved for the double DQ at 6:47.

Rating: D. This match was 80% punching and faceplanting before a double DQ on a Coliseum Video. Why in the world would you think that was the right way to go? You really can’t have the Beverly Brothers do a job here? Another bad match as this tape is off to a pretty terrible start.

Back at the alley, Kamala won’t wear shoes, but Hayes has a customized bowling ball, complete with the same kind of paint that covers Kamala’s stomach and chest.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Undertaker vs. Razor Ramon

Heenan spends Ramon’s entrance mocking the idea of Ross being a bowling fan. Ramon goes to the floor to start and hammers away back inside to limited success. Undertaker strikes away and hits Old School, with Ross doing a great job of selling how impressive it is. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but Ramon is back with a Stunner over the ropes to stagger Ramon.

Undertaker gets crotched on the to and as Heenan isn’t sure if Undertaker is an athlete or a monster. Savage: “An athletic monster.” Some elbow drops have Undertaker in trouble and an Urn shot rocks him again. Undertaker pops up with the chokeslam and that’s enough for Ramon, who takes the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. Match of the tape so far and at least I get why they didn’t want Ramon to take a fall. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a big deal around this point and it’s easy to see why he got to beat up Ramon and send him running here. That being said, can we please get a good match already? This is getting to be a bit much.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Is this tape mad at me? Do I owe it money or something? Typhoon powers out of a waistlock to start before catching a crossbody (geez) in a World’s Strongest Slam. Back up and Typhoon hammers away but gets sent face first into the buckle. Bigelow grabs a front facelock and Typhoon can’t suplex his way to freedom. Instead Bigelow gets in a suplex of his own and we hit the chinlock. Typhoon fights up and Bigelow can’t hold him up for a slam. A corner splash sets up…not the running splash, as Typhoon lets him get back up. Another splash in the corner misses and Bigelow drops the top rope headbutt for the win at 7:28.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting from these two? There is only so much you can get out of a match where the two of them aren’t able to do much and that was on display here. Typhoon was just ok on his best day and that wasn’t the case in this match. I know the WWF loved its battles of the monsters but that rarely worked, which was on full display with this one.

Slick bowls a strike but Kamala is looking at his bowling ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam. Alfred isn’t here, presumably having been eaten by Kamala.

We go to a home movie being invaded by the Repo Man, who tells the man filming that he can keep the camera if he follows Repo Man around for the day. First up, Repo Man takes a Cadillac, because what’s his is his and what’s everybody else’s is his too. Next up, Repo Man takes a kid’s bike because the kid’s dad owes him money.

Now it’s time to go into a video store (oh how I miss those), where the clerk insists that they make all of their payments. She can keep the store for a week if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits, which Repo Man of course carries with him. The tape (within the special) shows Repo Man kicking in a car window to take it back due to the person being a day late on his payments.

Then he breaks into a garage and takes a woman’s car for being three days late. The woman comes into the garage and screams so he tells her to pay up or shut up. Back at the video store, Repo Man makes sure to get his tape back…then runs off with the video camera. This was the kind of insanity I love from Coliseum Videos, as it felt like Repo Man was told to go do something and they put it on the tape. I like that kind of thing, just for the sake of building up a guy who doesn’t get much attention. You instantly get what you’re supposed to know about him and it made for a short, stupid, yet still entertaining segment.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and Sensational Sherri is here with Michaels as this is the best sounding thing in a good while after the last forty five minutes. Michaels snaps off an armdrag to start with even Heenan thinking Michaels needs to follow up faster. A pull of the hair brings Hart down into an armbar but he flips up and sends Michaels outside. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm for a change before dropping him with a clothesline for two.

Michaels comes back with a knee to the ribs and stomps away, setting up a running crotch attack against the ropes. The chinlock goes on and Michaels uses the hair to pull Hart back down. Back up and Michaels charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Hart to hit a middle rope clothesline. The middle rope elbow gets two, with Sherri panicking at the near fall. They both crash out to the floor and Sherri grabs the leg, allowing Michaels to knock hart into the barricade for the countout at 8:49.

Rating: C+. Even a not so great Bret vs. Shawn match is still Bret vs. Shawn and it’s by far the best thing in the first hour of this pretty dreadful tape. The two of them could have a decent match together in their sleep and they did well enough here without much time. In this case the countout was fine as it keeps Shawn strong, but dang I could have gone for some more from these two.

Post match Sherri is shocked that it’s not a title change. Shawn is less stunned but decks the referee instead. Ever the fan of law and order, Bret beats Shawn up for going after the referee.

Slick demonstrates bowling form and hits a strike, but Kamala is still looking at the ball. Alfred (hey he wasn’t eaten) suggests a new ball, but Kamala doesn’t want to give up the old one. Instead, he can have a match.

From February 16, 1993 in San Diego, California.

Kamala vs. Doink The Clown

Kamala has Slick with him while Doink has a big gift box. Doink teases Kamala with said box as Heenan suggests cutting off Kamala’s head, shave his beard, put a finger in each ear and throw him down the alley for a great bowling ball. With that disturbing image in my head (fingers in ears are not sanitary), Kamala goes after the arm but gets caught in an armbar to take him down. That’s broken up and Kamala hits something like a superkick. A bunch of chops connect and they go outside for the chase. Doink cuts him off with the box though…and Kamala gets counted out at 3:21.

Rating: D+. This is beyond ridiculous as it almost feels like the tape is trolling us at this point. The match was barely anything more than a way to set up the ending, which might make sense but isn’t much to see after everything else that has been on this mess. In theory, someone would have thought “hey, maybe we should have a good match on here” at some point, but that hasn’t really happened yet. Just more lame stuff, even though evil Doink is always kind of fun.

Post match, there’s nothing in the box. Heenan: “I’m so sorry, I’m dumb.” Kamala beats Doink up and chases him off.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker, as is customary. Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner, only for Undertaker to do the same thing. Well to Shango that is. Old School takes Shango down but he avoids an elbow and clotheslines Undertaker out to the floor. The Stunner over the top gets Undertaker out of trouble but Shango grabs his voodoo stick to blast Undertaker with some pyro.

Undertaker staggers around and a chair to the back makes it worse. Shango sends him into the steps and they go back inside where Undertaker pops up off some slams. A boot to the head and some elbows (as Ramon did to him an hour ago) keep undertaker in trouble but he comes back with the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Shango at 6:26.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time either but in this case that might be the best possible outcome. Shango didn’t have much other than trying to blow up Undertaker’s face (wrestling is weird) and there is only so much of a reason to believe that he was a threat to Shango. Undertaker was still a monster here and in theory this would be a big match but after seeing this, not so much.

Slick tries to convince Kamala to roll the ball down the alley…but he runs down the alley instead.

From February 1, 1993 in New York City, New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

This is from a Raw taping, which is weird to see on a tape like this one. The general brawling starts us off as we hear about Andre The Giant being great at these things, mainly because he passed away about a week earlier. Sharpe is out without being mentioned as Heenan is impressed by Ware and Hart’s pants. Ware’s pants go flying over the top for an elimination, leaving commentary to wonder if Tatanka can lose without having his undefeated streak broken.

Things slow down despite not going fast in the first place, with no one really close to an elimination. Hart can’t get rid of Michaels and for some reason Skinner stops to dance, allowing Typhoon to knock him out. Demento is out and Hart follows him, with Berzerker kicking Santana low in something you didn’t often see at this point. Berzerker is tossed out without much trouble and Kamala is sent out with a bit more trouble. Hold on though as Kamala goes back in to toss Chee out and then chases him into the crowd.

We’re down to seven and cut to Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony in a cool shot. As we come back, Taylor and Backlund are both out and Michaels gets rid of Typhoon. That leaves us with Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka as something of a tag match (and a good one at that) breaks out. Michaels hammers on Tatanka in the corner as Ramon might have kneed Santana low. Santana is back up with the running forearm, leaving the good guys to beat up Michaels.

A double kick in the corner gets rid of Michaels….and here is Giant Gonzalez to go after everyone else. Gonzalez tosses out Tatanka and Santana is out as well. Since Ramon is the only one left, he wins at around 13:30. This means Heenan’s pick wins, sending Savage into a fit of hysterics (Savage: “YOU GOTTA BE RIBBING!” I still use that line in my day to day life thirty plus years later.”)

Rating: D+. Pretty lame battle royal here with a bunch of standing around and not doing much until the ending. It’s really just a bunch of midcarders in one big match and that is only going to get you so far. It was long, bring and had a screwy ending so it was only going to be so good. Also, they kept saying it was a sixteen man match but I’ve never gotten past fifteen.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

Tatanka grabs a lockup to start and powers him into the corner before they switch places. Repo Man actually gives a clean break (commentary is stunned too) and it’s a pair of dropkicks to put him own as a result. The threat of a chop sends Repo out to the apron as Heenan talks about how many cars Repo can get into in ten seconds.

Back up and a not very smooth crossbody sets up an armbar on Repo, allowing Heenan to explain why Repo is screaming “HE’S BREAKING IT”! Heenan actually goes into a deal about how you’re trying to get the referee to check the hold to get a break, which is rather in-depth. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Tatanka but neither does Repo’s counter.

As commentary talks about paying off the bet from the battle royal (Heenan: “Just give me $200 each we’ll call it even.” Savage: “Ok no problem. I’ve got a lot of Confederate money laying around.”), Tatanka misses a crossbody and gets caught in an armbar. Tatanka fights up and chops away but for some reason stays down after hitting a big one. Repo goes up and gets punched out of the air, setting up even more chops. A top rope chop gets two and the End Of The Trail finishes for Tatanka at 7:43.

Rating: D+. They weren’t clicking out there and it made for a not very goo match. I’m not sure what was going on but for some reason it was like they kept having to restart. This isn’t exactly a match that needed to be all that complicated but for some reason it felt like they were on rather different pages.

Kamala, holding a ball in both hands, wiggles his hips a bit…and the ball goes backwards.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

Perfect shoves him down a few times to start and mocks the Flair hair rub. Flair loses an exchange of slaps and Perfect drops him without much trouble. A wrestle off goes to Perfect, who slaps Flair in the face again as this is one sided so far. Back up and Flair chops and punches away in the corner, naturally setting up a heck of a bump back out of said corner. Perfect gets in a backdrop and a clotheslines puts Flair out on the floor.

Back in and Flair goes to the eyes to take over so a knee drop can get two. Commentary bickers about whether or not Flair losing to Bret Hart in Canada should count as Perfect makes the comeback. A slam off the top gives Perfect two but he misses an elbow, meaning it’s time for Flair to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on and naturally Flair grabs the rope (JR: “It’s illegal!” Heenan: “No, illegal is a sick bird!”).

Perfect rolls over and gets caught in the corner, where Flair can strike away again. Some chops get Perfect out of trouble and he slugs away on one leg. The leg is good enough for a backdrop and Perfect whips him over the corner. Back in and a quick PerfectPlex gives Perfect the clean win at 10:49.

Rating: B. Oh of course these two were going to have a good match. They know each other really well and Perfect was more than capable of hanging with Flair at his best. The leg injury worked well with Perfect having to fight his way back up and it was easy to get into what they were doing. Rather nice way to wrap things up here, and it’s nice to have a clean ending to a hard worked match.

Slick and Alfred liked the tape (their opinions are officially revoked) but they’re disappointed they didn’t teach Kamala to bowl. Then Kamala bowls a strike and the hosts are stunned (ok points for a funny visual). Slick celebrates with Kamala to finish things off.

Overall Rating: D+. This tape really is just known as “that tape where Slick teaches Kamala to bowl”. Other than that you have a bunch of nothing matches, with Perfect vs. Flair being the only good one, along with a Bret vs. Shawn match which has been done better. The Repo Man stuff was kind of funny but the one joke gets old quick. Just a weak tape here from a bad period in the company’s history.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

After last week’s rather awesome Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid WWF Title match, it’s time to look at another title, as Diesel defends the Intercontinental Title against Lex Luger. What makes things all the more confusing is the fact that Ted DiBiase claiming he has purchased Lex Luger (though the contract has yet to be signed). Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Tatanka as a guest on the Heartbreak Hotel, being convinced that Lex Luger has sold out to Ted DiBiase. Even Shawn Michaels isn’t sure about that.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Lex Luger

Diesel, with Shawn Michaels, is defending and there’s no sign of DiBiase to start. They take their time to get going until it’s a fight over a lockup, with Luger being powered out to the floor. Back in and Luger grabs a sunset flip for two and Diesel isn’t happy. That means we settle down a bit with Diesel elbowing him in the back of the head, followed by some to the front of the head in the corner.

A powerslam gets Luger out of trouble (and a two) and now it’s time to punch Diesel to the floor, with the fans approving. Back in and the Jackknife attempt is countered with a backdrop but Luger misses a charge and crashes out to the floor. Diesel hits a clothesline and we see DiBiase watching from a box as we take a break. Back with Diesel getting two off Snake Eyes, followed by the running crotch attack to the back for a VERY delayed two.

We hit the chinlock with a knee in Luger’s back for a bit, followed by a jumping elbow for another near fall. Diesel grabs the sleeper for a good while but Luger finally suplexes his way to freedom. Luger strikes away and ducks a big boot, setting up a DDT for two. A middle rope clothesline gives Luger two more as this is picking way up. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Luger grabs the Rack, only to have Shawn break it up. The referee wakes up to count two and here is Razor Ramon to get rid of Michaels, which is enough for the referee to throw it out at 18:05.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but they were rocking by the end, with the double DQ being the right way to go. You don’t want to change the title or have Luger take a pin so this was as good as it was going to be. Luger might not be the best all around but he knows how to make that kind of a comeback. At the same time, JR was on fire here and knew EXACTLY how to make this feel like the most epic showdown. Really good stuff here and if you cut off about two minutes at the start, it’s that much better.

Post match the beatdown is on with Ramon getting laid out but Luger breaks up a spike piledriver. Cue DiBiase to look at Luger.

Mabel vs. Austin Steele

Steele, who looks like a bad Buddy Landell impersonator, gets thrown around to start and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Mabel headbutts him out of the air and hits a really awkward looking suplex. A test of strength makes Steele scream (how familiar) as Mabel starts in on the arm, allowing commentary to talk about pop culture. Mabel splashes him in the corner and hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:15. That guy couldn’t have been more of a Flair knockoff is his life depended on it. Just minus the talent that is.

It’s the Summerslam Report and we talk about Leslie Nielsen being brought in to figure out the Undertaker ordeal. Also announced over the weekend: Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Owen Hart inside a cage. One of those things is better than the other.

House show ads.

Owen Hart vs. Reno Riggins

Jim Neidhart is here with Owen. They go technical to start as the fans want Bret. Riggins manages an armbar with some hard wrenching but Owens slaps him in the face. Owen takes him down until Riggins hits him in the face as well. That earns Riggins a belly to belly into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:55. Riggins was slightly more competitive than I would have expected.

Owen takes his sweet time letting go.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including Tatanka vs….Nikolai Volkoff. That might not be worth advertising.

Sparky Plugg vs. George South

South sends him into the corner to start but Plugg gets in a kick to the ribs. There’s a slam into a headlock as Plugg looks ridiculous in the lime green singlet. A headscissors takes South down as commentary talks about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. South fights out of a headlock but charges into an elbow, setting up a high crossbody to finish for Plugg at 2:40.

We get a long recap of the Undertaker Is Missing, starting with him “ascending” at the Royal Rumble via casket cam. Then various people saw him around the country. Then Ted DiBiase claimed to have brought back the Undertaker but Paul Bearer didn’t buy it. We hear from Bearer, says the real Undertaker will be back at Summerslam. Then DiBiase says he has the real Undertaker. This story is stupid.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Gary Sabaugh

Sabaugh is better known as the Italian Stallion in the NWA, which explains the random “Italy” written on his trunks. Bigelow runs him own with a shoulder to start and a splash in the corner makes it worse. An elbow to the face gives Bigelow two and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. Sabaugh slugs and clotheslines away but walks into a powerslam. A Million Dollar Dream bulldog (it didn’t look great) finishes for Bigelow at 2:55.

Ted DiBiase says he has been talking to Lex Luger but the deal isn’t closed yet. He has a big announcement this weekend but here is Tatanka to yell at DiBiase about buying Luger. That earns Tatanka an offer of $10,000 if he can beat Nikolai Volkoff next week. Deal.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener was good and the rest of the matches were good enough to carry things. That being said, the idea of the Undertaker vs. Undertaker feud being one of the best things that the WWF had at the time is not a good sign. There are good things going on in the WWF but my goodness that feud is dea…..well it’s really bad.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 11, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

This week has a pretty big match for a change as Bret Hart is defending the WWF Title against the 1-2-3 Kid in a match that has some serious potential. The Kid is someone who can have a good match with a lot of people and Bret is Bret, so we could have something great going here. Other than that, Ted DiBiase will have more about the Fake Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the 1-2-3 Kid’s history of upsets coming into the title shot against Bret Hart.

Hart talked about some young, up and coming stars at the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Opening sequence.

Commentary hypes up the title match.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Hart is defending…but hold on because here are Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart to yell but are quickly thrown out. We get a handshake before the Kid quickly takes him down with an armdrag. Kid works on a wristlock but Hart slams him down, only to have Kid nip back up for a standoff. A hammerlock puts Hart down again as they’re certainly taking their time to start. Hart reverses into a quick chinlock but Kid is right back up as well. A monkey flip has Hart in trouble and a spinning kick to the face has him on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kid still working on the arm and Hart looking a bit frustrated. Hart gets up and gets in a knee to the ribs to stop a charging Kid. A slam drops Kid again and some hard uppercuts in the corner keep him in trouble. Hart gets two off a neckbreaker and we hit the chinlock. Kid fights up and hits a crossbody for two of his own, leaving Savage VERY enthusiastic (yeah I’m stunned too).

Kid’s crucifix is countered into something like a Samoan drop for….three, though Kid’s foot was on the ropes. The referee (Earl Hebner, because of course in a Hart match) didn’t notice it but Hart himself points it out, which really doesn’t seem to be the best idea. The match will indeed continue and we take a break, coming back with Hart grabbing another chinlock. Kid fights up again and gets two off a backslide (I remember Hart’s panicked face from watching this as a kid), only to have Hart grab a DDT for the same.

Hart takes his sweet time going up for the middle rope elbow and Kid gets his foot up to the face. The jumping spinwheel kick drops Hart and Kid fires off the kicks in the corner, including a running dropkick. A spinning high crossbody gets two and Kid plants him with a powerbomb. You can hear the crowd getting into this as Kid hits a guillotine legdrop for two more and there’s a clothesline to put Hart on the floor.

The moonsault to the floor is partially blocked though and it’s Hart getting back inside first. Kid gets back up and heads to the top, only to miss a Swanton. The Sharpshooter is loaded up but Kid grabs the rope before Hart can turn it over. Hart hits the bulldog and goes up, where he is slammed right back down. Kid goes up instead but dives right into the Sharpshooter as Hart retains at 25:35.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches that I remember seeing as a kid and flashing back to it many times over the years. Watching it back in full shows why as this was outstanding stuff, with Kid hanging in there long enough that you believed a miracle could be possible. At the same time, a lot of that is due to Hart, who knew exactly what he was doing the whole way through. This was the Kid’s big coming out party and they knocked it WAY out of the park with one of the best matches ever on Raw.

Hart checks on Kid as Savage and JR give it a standing ovation to really put Kid over. We get the big show of respect with Hart raising Kid’s hand.

Summerslam Report! The show will be the first televised event in the United Center (and for some reason they wouldn’t be back for 23 years) with a main event of….Undertaker vs. Undertaker, which has Todd Pettengill rather confused. Paul Bearer talks about how the real Undertaker is NOT happy and it’s time for him to come back for some revenge.

Crush vs. Matt Hardy

This show is downright notable. Crush knocks him into the corner but Matt moonsaults over him, only to get his head superkicked off. A delayed gorilla press drops Hardy again and has Savage doing a weird soccer styles GOAL shouting. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker finishes Hardy at 1:25.

Razor Ramon vs. Barry Horowitz

Barry doesn’t care for the fans liking Ramon to start so Ramon shoves him down without much effort. Ramon takes his time before firing off right hands as commentary talks about boxing. Something close to an STF has Horowitz in more trouble before Ramon messes with his hair. Horowitz’s comeback is cut off by a fall away slam and Ramon grabs a small package of all things for the win at 2:53. What a unique way to wrap it up.

We go to what looks like a basic office for the King’s Court with special guest Ted DiBiase. Lawler recaps the history of the Million Dollar Corporation, including bringing back the Undertaker, but now DiBiase is trying to buy Lex Luger. DiBiase says he isn’t trying because it has been a success, but even Lawler isn’t sure if he buys that one. Ok so the contract isn’t actually signed or anything, though it’s just a matter of time.

Commentary isn’t sure about DiBiase buying Luger either.

IRS vs. Ray Hudson

Before the match, IRS guarantees everyone will pay for cheating on their taxes. IRS grabs a hammerlock to start before throwing Hudson outside without much trouble. Hudson comes back in with a high crossbody for two but IRS is right back with an abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a leglock as commentary talks about baseball. A clothesline drops Hudson again and the Penalty (STF) finishes at 3:44.

Rating: D. Geez this was boring. I don’t know if the idea behind IRS is that he was uninteresting in every way but it’s a shame as he is capable of having some better stuff. This was just a bunch of waiting around for Hudson to lose, which felt far longer than just under four minutes. Terribly dull stuff.

Bret Hart is happy with his win and respects the 1-2-3 Kid. He isn’t worried about Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart either so Owen can come find him.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a one match show but that one match is one of the best matches the company had presented in years at that point. It was a great match and absolutely worth checking out, which is enough to overcome that IRS match, plus some other skippable stuff. In other words, Bret Hart is the best thing in the WWF at the moment and…well yeah of course he is.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 1993
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

This is the last Raw before Summerslam as next week’s show is the Summerslam Spectacular special rather than a usual show. As usual, there isn’t much to be expected around here but at least we shouldn’t have any more comedy stuff. Summerslam is mostly set and now we get to see the big final push to the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ted DiBiase vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a rematch from the Kid winning in a big upset (thanks to Razor Ramon). The fans are behind the Kid, who gets jumped by DiBiase to start fast. DiBiase sends him into the buckle and chokes away as Heenan thinks this is after the Kid’s bedtime. A knee to the ribs sends the Kid to the floor as Razor Ramon calls in.

DiBiase runs the Kid over again as Razor talks about some surprises he and the Kid have. A hard whip into the corner sends the Kid outside but he comes back in with…what looked to be a crossbody that went too high and turned into more of a headscissors. DiBiase misses a charge in the corner and Kid’s high crossbody gets two. The Kid goes up again but here is IRS for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was more of a squash until the end when things started to pick up. That being said, it makes sense as the Kid had already beaten DiBiase and you don’t need to have him lose twice. The Kid was still a lucky jobber at this point but you could see the skill every time he was in there.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Steiners (who face Money Inc. at Summerslam Spectacular) come in for the save.

Randy Savage promises a surprise that keeps on giving and giving and giving.

Summerslam Spectacular ad.

Headshrinkers vs. Mike Khoury/Dave Moraldo

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers as we hear about how 7% of the population believe Elvis is still alive. Khoury gets chopped down to start and Samu makes it worse with a heck of a superkick. Moraldo is brought in and a double faceplant drops him rather quickly. There’s a double Stroke and an assisted hot shot makes it even worse for Moraldo. As Khoury lays on the apron looking a bit, uh, dead, Fatu hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Moraldo.

Rating: C. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Headshrinkers as they are a good example of exactly what they seem to be. It was fun to watch them squash a pair of jobbers, with Khoury just laying there at the end making it all the better. If nothing else, that splash always looked good and this was an entertaining squash.

Summerslam Report, again with Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty being added.

Marty Jannetty vs. Bastion Booger

A test of strength goes badly for Jannetty to start as we hear about the Lex Express being in Denver. Why are we talking about Lex Luger? Well because what else could be more important? Jannetty gets up and doges a shot in the corner, setting up a crossbody for two. An armdrag and hiptoss actually put Bastion down and even Heenan is impressed. A dropkick puts Bastion on the floor and Jannetty knocks him down again, setting up a nice slingshot dive.

Bastion’s arm is wrapped around the post and we take a break. Back with Jannetty pulling him to the floor for a ram into the apron, earning himself a hard posting. Naturally this is a good time to talk about Madonna’s birthday and Bastion runs him over again back inside. A sunset flip doesn’t work doesn’t work at first for Jannetty as Bastion drops down onto him, only to have Jannetty him down for the pin anyway.

Rating: C. The frustrating thing about Jannetty’s issues is he could wrestle a good match on his own. This might not have been a classic match but with Jannetty having to work with a monster like Bastion, it could have been far worse. What matters is getting Jannetty some momentum on the way to Summerslam and it went fairly well as a result.

Here is Money Inc. for a chat. They’re not happy with the 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon and are ready for the two of them at Summerslam. As for next week, ted DiBiase hopes the Steiners were watching as it’s going to go badly for them next week. Vince McMahon thinks the Steiners are going to take care of Money Inc. next week but DiBiase says the Steiners agreeing to the match meant that they were bought and paid for. See, the Steiners are STUPID so they’ll be losers next week. Vince thinks Money Inc. is in trouble but IRS thinks the M on the Steiners’ jackets stands for MORONS. Money Inc. isn’t great at the talking thing.

Men On A Mission vs. Mike Sharpe/Barry Horowitz

Horowitz slugs at Mo to start so it’s off to Mabel for the rather hard slam. Sharpe comes in and gets hit in the face a few times, followed by the double elbow drop. The double splash finishes Sharpe rather fast.

Post match, Oscar raps a lot.

We get part three of Who Is Lex Luger, where he talks about steroid problems. He is absolutely not taking them now and there are steroid problems in other sports but NOT the WWF. Luger did use steroids before they were declared illegal but now he knows he didn’t need them. If you train and eat right, anyone can build a great physique and he hopes children understand that. This was at least better than the other segments as it actually had something to it rather than praising Luger. Still not A MATCH but better than nothing.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Rich Myers

Luna Vachon is here with Bigelow, who backdrops Myers fast to start. The heavy forearms keep Myers down as Savage keeps teasing his big surprise. A delayed suplex drops Myers again and the top rope headbutt gives Bigelow the pin.

Rating: C. This was a bit longer of a squash than you might have expected but a squash it indeed was. Bigelow was in full on monster mode at this point and was just waiting for something to do. That would come soon enough, though unfortunately it would be with Doink The Clown, which went about as well as you would expect.

Savage’s surprise: the Macho Midget brings out the Raw girls.

A Summerslam Spectacular rundown wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Well at least we’re done with Raw and can get rid of Summerslam as there is only so much that can be done to build up that pretty lame show. The Luger stuff is hard to take, even if this is the best of them all. As for this show, it wasn’t exactly a strong last Raw before Summerslam, though the Spectacular card looks rather strong. Just stop talking about Luger already so he can win the title and all can be right with the world.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 9, 1993
Location: Castle Recreation Center, Alexandria Bay, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

We are three weeks away from Summerslam and unfortunately that means we have to deal with more of Lex Luger Is Awesome Despite Not Wrestling. This week it’s the contract signing between Luger and Yokozuna, because that’s a step up in interest. Other than that, it’s the in-ring debuts of the Heavenly Bodies and….the Macho Midget. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Tatanka vs. Mr. Hughes

Hughes, with Harvey Wippleman, jumps him from behind as we hear about Undertaker wanting to get his hand son Hughes to continue their rather forgettable feud. The slow beating continues but Tatanka comes back with a running crossbody for two. Back up and Hughes pulls him down by the hair and adds an ax handle to the back to take over. We take a break and come back with Hughes cranking on the neck. Tatanka fights up and starts firing off the chops, only to be sent over the top. Hughes goes out to get him….but takes too long and only Tatanka beats the count.

Rating: C. Yeah this wasn’t exactly great stuff and there was only so much to be expected. Hughes was pretty much exactly what he was for years. Tatanka had to steal a win rather than get something definitive. In theory that is so Undertaker can get the big win over Hughes, but it makes me wonder why this match was set up in the first place.

Post match Tatanka goes after Wippleman but Hughes decks him with Undertaker’s urn. He even leaves a black wreath as a present.

We get part two of the Who Is Lex Luger series. This time he talks about being a football star but getting thrown out of college due to disciplinary problems. Then he became a pro despite being told not to and wound up winning the Grey Cup in Canada. After playing in the NFL and the USFL, he did finish school. He was thinking about law school but then went into wrestling instead. It is indeed more interesting to hear him talking about wrestling instead of watching him wrestle.

Bushwhackers/Macho Midget vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Blake Beverly/Little Louie

Please, let it be sho….never mind. Macho dances to start and the villains just kind of blankly stare. Blake drives Luke into the corner to start but everything breaks down and we get a big circle bite. Macho dropkicks Louie to the floor and the good guys get to march around the ring. We settle down to Louie shoving Macho down before we go to a criss cross.

As you might expect, Savage stops running and just watches as Louie wears down. Butch comes in for a double noggin knocker before it’s back to Macho vs. Louie. Macho fights off the mat and it’s time to dance. The not hot tag brings in Butch to clean house, with the Battering Ram hitting the Brawler. Instead Macho hits a top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: D. Oh just no. This was exactly what you would have expected and the best thing about it is that it wasn’t even seven minutes long. There is only so much that you can get out of this kind of, I beg your pardon, comedy, as it was the Bushwhackers (still around somehow) and a guy who had nothing to do with them vs. a mixture of villains. Pretty bad stuff here, but what else were you expecting?

And now, we get the contract signing between Lex Luger and Yokozuna, with quite the twist as Jim Cornette is revealed as Yokozuna’s manager. Er sorry, American spokesman. Cornette puts over the people of Japan and looks at the contract, as handed over by Jack Tunney. Luger comes to the ring in a suit, because if there’s one thing you don’t want to show off with Luger, it’s his physique.

They both sign rather quickly, with Cornette pointing out that it is Luger’s ONLY title shot. Luger says he only needs one shot and he’ll be on the Lex Express until he gets to Summerslam. With sweat FLOWING down his face, Luger promises to have all of the people in his corner in the name of the USA. Luger was not exactly feeling this fired up promo here and they didn’t even get in a fight. Just in case this feud could have gotten worse.

Razor Ramon vs. Dan Dubiel

Ramon takes him into the corner and then sends him flying right back out of it. The fall away slam lets Ramon stomp away and we hit the abdominal stretch. The belly to back superplex into the Razor’s Edge finishes fast.

It’s the Summerslam Report with Gene Okerlund just running down the card.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Bobby Who/Mike Bucci

Jim Cornette is here with the Bodies (Tom Prichard/Jimmy Del Ray). Prichard drives Who into the corner and then takes him down for a quick spank. Del Ray sneaks in from behind with a superkick to send Who into a DDT. Vince reads the description of the movie of the week as Del Ray blatantly calls a spot and then runs Bucci over. A double suplex sets up Del Ray’s moonsault press for the pin. Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean so he certainly had a career.

Post match Cornette calls out the Steiners, saying the Bodies want the Tag Team Titles.

The Summerslam Spectacular is coming in two weeks.

Overall Rating: D+. This was pretty terrible, with a boring contract signing, an unfunny comedy match and pretty much a grand total of nothing worth seeing throughout the show. Summerslam needs to get here already so we can move on to pretty much anything else. The Luger vs. Yokozuna feud is dying more and more every week and it can’t end soon enough. Pretty lame show here, and unfortunately it could just get worse.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 1994
Location: Beeghly Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We are on the way to Summerslam and that means the big stories are Bret Hart vs. Owen hart and Undertaker vs. Maybe Undertaker. One of these feuds is a bit better than the other and I’ll let you figure out which is which. Other than that, Vince McMahon’s steroids trial is FINALLY over and somehow he escaped. I wonder how much that will be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, including the ladder match from earlier this year. Diesel is facing Ramon at Summerslam, but tonight it’s Ramon vs. Shawn.

Razor and Shawn are ready for each other.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Savage welcome us to the show, with Savage making it clear that Vince is COMPLETELY exonerated. Just in case there was any doubt you see.

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Intercontinental Champion Diesel is here with Shawn and it’s almost weird to see these two having a regular match. They take turns missing each other to start until Shawn takes him down and walks over his back. That earns him a heck of a right hand and a big whip over the corner to the floor. Back in and Shawn dives into a fall away slam for two, setting up the armbar.

Shawn fights up and chokes a bit in the corner before a dropkick gets two. The chinlock goes on for a good while until Razor fights up. Another dropkick doesn’t work so well for Shawn, as Razor catches the legs and catapults him over the top and down onto Diesel (in a great visual).

We take a break and come back with Razor grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shawn goes to the eye for the escape. The big backdrop sends Shawn flying again as commentary makes fun of the Goodwill Games. Razor grabs the bearhug for a good bit until Shawn elbows his way out. Shawn’s back is still banged up though and Razor slaps it right back on. With Shawn escaping for good, they hit the pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Shawn throwing him over the top.

Diesel gets in a clothesline on the floor as we take a break. Back with Diesel throwing Shawn back inside so Shawn can hit a jumping back elbow for two more. The sleeper puts Razor down for two arm drops until the traditional belly to back suplex to escape. Back up and Razor puts him on top for the belly to back superplex, which is broken up just as fast. Shawn’s high crossbody gets two and the superkick (still not a big deal) gets the same.

With nothing else working, Shawn tries a Razor’s Edge of his own but gets backdropped without much trouble. Diesel gets up for a distraction so Shawn can grab the title, which doesn’t go right either. A second distraction, this time in the form of a big boot, does work though and Shawn grabs a rollup (with trunks of course) for the pin at 25:02.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah this worked, even though I spent most of the match looking around for the ladders. It’s another great example of letting talented wrestlers go out there and do their thing, especially when they’re motivated and showing chemistry. This is quite the hidden gem as you always hear about the ladder matches but they tore the house down with an awesome regular match instead. Check this one out if you get the chance.

Post match the beatdown is on until the referees make the save.

We get the Summerslam Report featuring Todd Pettengill. Some matches for the card are listed off, with Todd thinking Razor Ramon will need some backup for his Intercontinental Title shot against Diesel. Just a thought of course.

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Blayze’s Women’s Title isn’t on the line and Luna Vachon is here with the debuting Nakano. Blayze kicks away to start but gets taken down with one heck of a hair toss. A powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Blayze two and a spinning kick to the face drops Nakano again. As commentary make fun of Nakano’s looks, she grabs a chinlock to keep Blayze down.

A piledriver gives Nakano two as she pulls Blayze up. Nakano powerbombs her for two more as commentary isn’t sure what to make of this. Blayze gets two off a sunset flip and she gets away from the guillotine legdrop. Blayze’s German suplex gets two (Savage says no one has ever kicked out of it before) and she dropkicks Nakano off the top to the floor. One heck of a dive to the floor takes Nakano down again but she posts Blayze hard. The brawl takes them to a double countout at 5:31.

Rating: B. This was a FIGHT and one of the best women’s matches you will see in the company to date. It’s amazing what happens when you give Blayze, who was a lot better in the ring than she was given credit for being, someone who can wrestle with any of them rather than the goofy old school stuff. I got way into this one and there’s a reason why this feud is still talked about to this day.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Bob Backlund as the special guest. Hold on though, as we first have a guy propose to his girlfriend in the crowd. Lawler isn’t impressed and mocks them both, but we’ll get the answer later. Apparently later means after the break, with the woman in the ring (and the guy in the crowd). First though, Lawler has a few questions/jokes and she finally says yes.

Lawler kisses her (the guy is mad) and then she leaves so here is Backlund for his interview. Actually make that the REIGNING WWF Champion Bob Backlund, as he never lost the title. Backlund talks about how he tried to help people throughout his career and his hiatus from wrestling. People have changed in those last ten years and he is very disappointed. Savage thinks Backlund has an attitude problem as he insists that he never gave up in 1983, so he is STILL the champion.

As commentary talks over Backlund, we see….nothing different, as Lawler talks about beating Bret Hart in the middle of the ring. Backlund calls Hart part of a horrible society as we go to a clip of Backlund snapping on Hart after their match. This was all over the place, as the proposal was long and commentary wouldn’t shut up as Backlund talked.

Smoking Gunns vs. George Anderson/Tom Bennet

Joined in progress with Anderson coming in and getting kicked in the ribs by Bart. Billy drops a knee and we take a break, coming back with Billy hitting a dropkick setting up the Sidewinder for the pin at 5:24. We didn’t even see two minutes of the match but we did get more of Savage praising Vince’s legal team.

They’re off the air literally five seconds after the match is over.

Overall Rating: B+. Until the goofy Lawler stuff, this was looking to be an all time episode and certainly one of the best of this era. The first half of the show is an awesome match and the second match is very good in its own right. If you ignore it coming to a screeching halt with the proposal and the incredibly squeezed in (and nothing) tag match, it’s a classic. Check out that opener and the women’s match if it’s your thing, as they’re both worth seeing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 21, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Center, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for In Your House and that means we are in for…well not much on the main event, which is already set. Other than that, we have another Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid match as the two of them aren’t getting along. Finally, Men On A Mission are facing Owen Hart and Yokozuna for reasons of evil. Let’s get to it.

Here is last week’s show if you need a recap.

This is a special Thursday edition of the show, which wasn’t mentioned last week.

We open with a recap of last week, with the 1-2-3 Kid costing Razor Ramon a match against British Bulldog. Kid wants to be taken seriously so he’ll have to beat Razor again.

Opening sequence.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

During the entrances, we look at Razor attacking Dean Douglas in the classroom at Summerslam in case you want to be told what to expect here. Kid jumps him to start and fires off some kicks to put Razor on the floor. Back in and Razor goes with the power to take him to the corner for the super fall away slam. Razor chops away in the corner and tosses him HARD (with a great bump from the Kid) before working on the arm. A chokeslam gives Razor two but Kid manages to send him outside.

Kid hits a slingshot dropkick (over the top at that) and a spinning kick to the face gets one back inside (the foot on the rope helped). The sleeper takes Ramon down to one knee and we take a break. Back with the hold still on but Razor suplexes his way to freedom. The discus punch drops Kid and there’s the running corner clothesline. Back up and a collision sends Kid into the referee so cue Dean Douglas for a top rope splash to Razor. A VERY delayed cover gives Kid the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. Kid getting to bump all over the place worked and Razor gave him a ton of offense at the same time (I for one am shocked). The Kid winning makes a lot more sense and it is smart to let him move up the ladder a bit. Razor is more than a made man so this was a good example of helping bring someone up. Now just do it more often.

Dean Douglas grades the match, with the Kid getting a D (dumb), Razor getting an E (elevate, which Razor is trying to do by face Dean), Dean getting an A (because he’s nifty) and Razor vs. Dean at In Your House getting an N (no brainer).

Tatanka/Kama vs. Savio Vega/Bob Holly

Ted DiBiase is here with Tatanka and Kama. Vega cleans house to start before it’s off to Holly, who works on Kama’s ribs before it’s quickly off to Savio. The kick misses Tatanka but he distracts Holly so Kama can jump Vega. A double slam plants Vega as the referee takes FOREVER to get Holly out. Kama plants him down again and shoves Holly, who still doesn’t get how stupid it is to try to come in.

Vega is mostly destroyed in the corner but finally manages a shot of his own for a needed breather. Holly comes in and now is quite a bit more lethargic (he really isn’t that bright in this match), though a high crossbody does get two on Kama. Everything breaks down and Kama powerslams Holly out of the air (with a nasty landing) for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: C. This was an energetic match but Holly was hardly helping his partner most of the time. They were trying throughout though and that is always nice to see, especially in a nothing match like this one. Kama and Tatanka were pretty much just thrown together, but they did well enough all things considered.

Razor Ramon is ready to hurt Dean Douglas.

Wrestlemania: The Special is coming on September 30, featuring the two main events. That was a big deal.

Jean Pierre LaFitte vs. Brian Walsh

Jean shrugs off an early assault and stomps away as Bret Hart calls in to say he doesn’t like LaFitte stealing his gear over and over. Some shots to the face and chest have Walsh in more trouble as the slow beating continues. The Cannonball (Swanton) finishes Walsh at 3:17.

Rating: C-. Total and complete dominance here and that is how it should be. LaFitte wasn’t going to go anywhere because he’s a pirate of all things in 1995 but putting him in there with Bret is going to make it feel important. That’s the power of someone like Bret and the WWF knew just how big of a deal he really was.

Tag Team Titles: Men On A Mission vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna

Owen and Yokozuna (with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji) are defending and Mabel is carried to the ring, with the people carrying him cringing under the weight. Owen kicks away at Mo to start but charges into a powerslam so Mo can stomp away. Mabel comes in and nothing words for Owen, who is knocked out of the corner with ease.

Mo gets in a few more stomps but Owen gets away to bring in Yokozuna. As Owen sends Mo into the steps, the giants stare each other down but stop so Yokozuna can unload in the corner. We take a break and come back with Owen and Mo trying spinwheel kicks at the same time for a double knockdown.

The double tag brings in the giants, with Mabel winning a slugout and hitting a jumping (work with me) clothesline. Mabel throws Owen at Yokozuna and it’s Mo coming back in to slug away. Yokozuna clotheslines Mo down like he’s Yokozuna clotheslining Mo and hands it back to Owen. A cheap shot lets Mo get two of his own as everything breaks down. Owen drop toeholds Mo down and the Yokozuna legdrop is enough to retain the titles at 12:45.

Rating: C. I never would have bet on it but this was pretty decent. If nothing else, Yokozuna could still move well enough here and Mabel was slightly motivated, even after his main event run was dead. Owen was his usual self, so this was about as good as it could have been all things considered.

Diesel and Shawn Michaels are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Post break, Owen Hart/Yokozuna and company are still in the ring, with Jim Cornette promising to bring some more gold back at In Your House. They’ll make the Two Dudes With Attitude into the Two Fellas That Are Yellow. Cornette runs over the rules of the match (as you should) and promises that his men are ready to show how great they are. What happened the last time Shawn and Diesel were partners? They got in a fight, and how much worse will it be when they have titles to protect? Cornette: “In Your House, in your face and around their waists!” Great line to wrap this up as Cornette sold the match really well.

Jerry Lawler’s official prediction: Yokozuna wins the WWF Title.

A quick preview of Undertaker vs. British Bulldog for next week wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C+. They did what they could with what is basically a one match In Your House (Bret vs. LaFitte is a maybe at best) and that included a heck of a push for the Triple Header. Other than that though, there isn’t much going on for the show and it could be quite the mess to get through. At least it wasn’t a long build, which probably explains why is isn’t much of a show. They did what they could with what they had here, which is about as good as you can get.

 

 

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