Against All Odds 2024
Date: June 14, 2024
Location: Cicero Stadium, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We have another of the monthly specials here before we get to the really big show next month with Slammiversary. The main event here is Broken Matt Hardy challenging Moose for the World Title, but we could be in for something a lot more interesting as Jordynne Grace has issued an open challenge. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Jonathan Gresham vs. Sami Callihan

This is billed as Gresham vs. Callihan’s immune system because Gresham likes to spit his evil goo. Callihan starts the fight on the floor before the bell but Gresham blocks a powerbomb on the floor. Instead Gresham snaps the fingers, only for Callihan to fire off chops. Gresham stays on the arm but Callihan manages a suplex before they go inside. It’s still too early for the bell as Gresham rolls outside again.

This time Gresham sends the bad arm into the ring structure and they go inside for the bell. Callihan is fine enough to fight with one arm but the Cactus Driver 97 isn’t going to happen. Instead Gresham pulls the mask off the referee so here is Kushida, in a white coat, with a napkin to swab the ink out of Gresham’s mouth. Kushida puts it into a vile, leaving Callihan to hit the Cactus Driver 97 for the pin at 2:32. Well at least it was short, as this EVIL GOO stuff is horrible.

Kickoff Show: Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Alisha Edwards/Masha Slamovich vs. The Hex

The Hex is challenging. Belle takes Edwards into the corner to start and it’s off to Kay for the chops. Slamovich comes in and gets taken into the corner as well, with Belle adding a running kick to the face for two. Slamovich’s boot to the face gives her a breather and Alisha tags herself back in to pick up the pace. It’s already back to Slamovich, who hits her half of a double clothesline with Kay for the double clothesline.

Belle comes in (the fans approve) and the running knees hit Alisha in the corner. Everything breaks down and it’s a four way knockdown for a breather. Alisha has to slip out of Hex Marks The Spot but the champs are rammed into each other to give Belle two. Hex Marks The Spot gets two, only to have Alisha pop right back up. The Steiner Bulldog finishes Belle to retain the titles at 7:55.

Rating: C+. It’s still hard to get into Slamovich and Edwards as champions as they were in their third match together. Commentary was saying a title change would have been an upset, but that just isn’t the case. It doesn’t make for the best story in the division, though we did wind up getting a pretty nice match. A lot of that is due to the rather good Hex, but I’ll take what I can get here.

The opening video talks about what it means to work to get to the top before looking at the major matches.

Rascalz vs. Mike Santana/Steve Maclin

The rather intense Santana glares at Wentz to start before they miss some shots to the face. Spin The Block misses for Santana and Wentz knocks him down to take over. Miguel gets in a shot of his own and it’s Wentz grabbing a neck crank. A dropkick hits Santana but he fights up and hands it off to Maclin to pick up the pace.

Some running corner clotheslines are broken up and now it’s Maclin getting caught in the wrong corner. Maclin tries to fight out but a single shot to his bad arm cuts that off in a hurry. Miguel’s Meteora is countered into a faceplant in a smart move and they’re both down. The tag brings Santana back in, with an assisted elevated DDT getting two on Wentz.

Maclin’s running knee gets two more as commentary can’t believe how well Maclin and Santana are doing together. Santana is sent outside though and something like a Swanton/hanging Pedigree combination gets two on Maclin. A spinebuster into a superkick sets up a double stomp for two, with Santana making the save this time. Santana gets to clean house, with Maclin cutting off Miguel’s spray paint attempt. The spear to the Tree of Woe sets up Spin The Block to finish Wentz at 12:47.

Rating: B-. Nice opener here as Santana’s hot return continues. He looked good in there again and it was a hard hitting match, with the makeshift team coming together to beat the established team. That might have had a better impact if it wasn’t the same story as the Knockouts tag Team Title match, but this was better.

Post match, Santana reluctantly shakes his hand.

We run down the rest of the card.

Matt Hardy promises to win the World Title through Broken Brilliance.

PCO vs. Rich Swann

AJ Francis, who doesn’t like the crowd, is here with Swann. He compares himself to Scottie Pippen, because this company never won anything until he showed up. PCO gets his full electricity entrance before getting to stalk Swann around the ring. A Francis distraction lets Swann hit a superkick to put PCO on the floor and an apron 450 hits him again.

Another Francis cheap shot sets up a missed 450, allowing PCO to get fired up. PCO runs him over and drapes Swann’s legs over the ropes for the middle rope legdrop to the back of the head. Francis puts Swann’s foot on the rope for the save and then gets in another cheap shot. PCO breaks up another 450 and sends Swann outside, where he takes out both villains. Back in and the PCOsault finishes Swann at 5:27.

Rating: C+. PCO continues to have perfectly nice matches and I’m curious to see where he goes against First Class. I could see him getting the big win by becoming Digital Media Champion, especially in Montreal. It’s still a bit weird to see a former World Champion like Rich Swann taking losses like this, but Francis is clearly the star of the team.

Post match Steph de Lander comes out to say that yes, she will go out on a date with PCO. Rehwoldt: “YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU!!!”

We recap the Nemeth’s challenging the System for the Tag Team Titles. The System attacked Nic Nemeth so Nic’s brother Ryan made the save. Ryan and Matt Hardy beat the champs, so of course Nic and Ryan got the Tag Team Title match instead, despite never teaming together before.

Tag Team Titles: Nic Nemeth/Ryan Nemeth vs. The System

The System, with Alisha Edwards, is defending. Ryan takes Myers down to start and it’s quickly off to Nick, who can’t hit a neckbreaker. Instead he can hit back to back dropkicks but Alisha breaks up the superkick. Cue Dirty Dango of all people to point out what happened and Alisha is ejected. Nic is sent into the wrong corner and a backbreaker gives Myers two.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Nic fights up and hands it back to Ryan to clean house. Myers spears Ryan for two with Nic making a save, leaving commentary to be VERY confused by Dango’s interference. Ryan manages a sunset flip but Eddie tags himself in to breaks up the non-cover. Myers cuts off another comeback but spends too much time posing, allowing Ryan to hit a jumping Edge-O-Matic.

Cue Moose as Ryan hands it back to Nick to drop the jumping elbow for two. A running hurricanrana sets up a Fameasser for two on Eddie, leaving Moose rather nervous. Eddie is right back with the Backpack Stunner into the top rope elbow to give Eddie two. Back up and Nic sends Myers shoulder first into the post and Danger Zone to Eddie….gets two as Moose pulls the referee. Not that it matters as Dango decks Ryan, allowing Eddie to hit the Boston Knee Party to retain at 12:41.

Rating: B-. Well that was a bit anti-climactic. Dango showed up, tried to help the Nemeth’s, and then turned on them in about ten minutes. I’m glad the titles didn’t change hands here, as the System are perfectly fine in their role and can lose them to a regular team down the road. Not a bad match at all, but the Dango stuff was a bit much.

Post match Dango stands with the System for a bit before leaving them to pose.

ABC is ready for Eric Young and Josh Alexander.

Frankie Kazarian vs. Joe Hendry

Before the match, Hendry says Kazarian is the Antonio Banderas of TNA: he had some hits, but now he’s just hanging on long enough to be known as the dad from Spy Kids. Kazarian slugs away to start but it’s way too early for the chickenwing. Hendry grabs a delayed vertical suplex but Kazarian ties him in the ropes for the jumping Fameasser. A front facelock has Hendry down for a bit but the fans chant about their believes. Hendry fights up before pulling Kazarian out of the air for the fall away slam.

Back up and Kazarian kicks him in the ribs but Fad To Black is countered into…well into an also countered spinning powerbomb. Instead Kazarian hits a Backstabber for two but Hendry is right back with a powerbomb for the same. Hendry takes him to the apron and tries a belly to back suplex, only to have Kazarian get in what looked to be a shot with a foreign object to knock Hendry cold for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: B-. They were getting to a good match before the Randy Savage/Tito Santana finish. I’m not sure I get the thinking to having Hendry, the hottest star in the promotion, losing like this, but odds are we’re going to be seeing a rematch. Hopefully Hendry gets the win back there, because otherwise this is a really questionable move at best.

Post match Kazarian goes after Hendry again but Ace Steele makes the save. Fans: “OH CRY ME A RIVER!”

We recap Mustafa Ali defending the X-Division Title against Trent Seven, who defeated his partner Mike Bailey to get the shot.

X-Division Title: Mustafa Ali vs. Trent Seven

Ali, with Champagne Singh and the Secret Service, is defending. We’re in Ali’s hometown, but Seven brings up the rather insincere interview Ali had with Tom Hannifan this week on Impact. We see some extended footage, with Ali ranting about how horrible of a place Chicago is and how he lives in the suburbs. Oh and the X-Division Title is a meaningless prop.

Ali charges at him to start but walks into the Seven Star Lariat for two. They head outside with Seven beating him around ringside as the fans say THEY STILL LOVE Ali. Seven chops away in the corner but Ali comes back with a tornado DDT. Seven is sent outside but he blocks a suicide dive dive and hits a dragon suplex. Back in and Seven misses a dive off the top, only to come up favoring his knee.

Ali’s running boot in the corner is countered into a powerbomb for two but Ali is fine enough to hit the rolling neckbreaker. Seven slams his way out of trouble and they slug it out until Ali goes after the knee again. Bop and Bang gets Seven out of trouble but the X Plex is countered with a low blow. Ali hits his own Seven Star Lariat for two so they go up top. Ali catches him with a superkick on the middle rope but Seven is back with the super swinging slam for two.

The Birminghammer is loaded up but Ali grabs the rope for the break. Another shot to the knee brings Seven down again and they go up top, only for Seven to give us the big knockdown to the floor. Seven barely beats the ten count but Ali is right there with the 450 for two.

With nothing else working, Ali grabs the belt, which is taken away, allowing Seven to hit him low right back. The Birminghammer connects for two and they’re both down. Back up and a super Birminghammer is broken up with a rake to the eyes, allowing Ali to kick out the leg again. A 450 to the legs sets up a Sharpshooter to retain Ali’s title at 15:30.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match where the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt but it worked well anyway. They went with Ali being frustrated but being smart enough to capitalize on he knee injury and using it to win. The big showdown is going to be Ali vs. Mike Bailey in Montreal, and it wouldn’t stun me to see the match end with a Sharpshooter, both as a call back to this and….well Montreal in general.

Frankie Kazarian is ticked about that piece of…..Chicago trash Ace Steele. Santino Marella comes in to say if Kazarian wants to get his hands on Steele, they can have a Chicago Street Fight this week on Impact.

ABC vs. Eric Young/Josh Alexander

Commentary has to point out that there is a theme of weird partners vs. established teams tonight. Young and Bey start things off and go to an early standoff, leaving Bey smiling. Alexander comes in and backs Austin into the corner before Austin sweeps the leg. A kick to the back staggers Alexander and it’s Bey coming back in for an armdrag into an armbar. It’s back to Austin to dropkick the knee out as we get a SUPER ERIC chant.

Alexander fights up and hands it back to Young, who gets taken into the wrong corner rather quickly. A hard whip into the corner has Bey in trouble though and it’s right back to Alexander. Bey gets caught in a release German suplex (a nice looking one at that) so Austin offers a distraction….as we get stereo testicular claws. This draws by far the strongest reaction of the night and commentary almost needs a minute to compose themselves.

Young grabs a neckbreaker for two but it’s back to Alexander as everything breaks down. Austin’s running crossbody to the back on the apron is cut off but Austin’s apron kick is countered into an ankle lock in a smart move. Bey and Young hit their own dives and everyone is down on the ramp. Back in and Austin fights out of a super fireman’s carry, with the fans requesting that everyone be careful. Austin’s kick to the head is countered into an ankle lock, with Bey making the save.

With that not working, Austin tries a sleeper, only to have Alexander suplex Austin and Bey at the same time. Not to be outdone, Young tries a double Death Valley Driver, only for ABC to slip out and hit him with a double superkick. Austin kicks Alexander in the head but walks into a powerslam. Alexander’s powerbomb backbreaker gets two on Bey and Young drops the top rope elbow for the same, with Austin having to make another save. Young accidentally runs Alexander over though, allowing Austin to hit the Fold for the pin at 18:11.

Rating: B. It was a good, hard hitting back and forth match and if they had cut a few minutes out, it would have been even better. I do appreciate the fact that the established team won here as it’s hard to buy one of the best teams in recent years losing here. For a bonus match added for no particular reason, this could have been a lot worse.

We recap Jordynne Grace going to NXT but getting cheated out of the NXT Women’s Title. It’s open challenge time.

Knockouts Title: Jordynne Grace vs. ???

Grace is defending against….NXT’s Tatum Paxley, a bit of an odd one who is obsessed with gold. Before we get going, Ash By Elegance’s handler comes out to say that out of the goodness of her heart, Ash will not be pressing charges against Jordynne Grace. With Ash sitting on the stage, we’re ready to go, with Grace powering her into the corner to start. Grace powers her down again and grabs a swinging faceplant to put Paxley on the mat again.

Some hard shots to the back of the head set up a camel clutch, with Paxley biting her way to freedom. Grace makes the mistake of going after Ash though, allowing Paxley to send her shoulder first into the ring structure. Back in and Grace gets pulled into a half crab, which is quickly escaped to set up a neckbreaker.

The Vader Bomb misses but Grace runs her over again and hits Grace Under Pressure for two. Grace puts her up top for the MuscleBuster and a near fall, meaning it’s surprised kickout face. Paxley gets two off some rollups before catching Grace on top for a super Lobotomy (swinging neckbreaker) for two more. Grace slugs away but gets caught in a guillotine, only to power up again. Some hard shots to the back and chest set up the Juggernaut Driver to retain the title at 11:06.

Rating: B-. Paxley isn’t exactly a top NXT name, but it’s cool to see someone going over to TNA and making Grace look like a star. That’s all you need here, as Grace has gotten one heck of a boost out of this whole story. Grace seems primed for a huge showdown with Ash By Elegance, and this was a great way to make her look dominant on the way there.

Post match Ash goes after Grace but gets the brass knuckles taken away. Grace lays her out and pours champagne over here, with Rehwoldt panicking.

We recap Matt Hardy challenging Moose for the TNA World Title. Hardy returned at Rebellion and wants the title, meaning it’s time for all the Broken stuff because that’s what Hardy does in TNA.

TNA World Title: Moose vs. Matt Hardy

Moose, with the System, is defending and this is Broken Rules, more or less meaning a street fight. Cue the Nemeths to brawl with the System (save for Alisha) to the back, making it a lot more even. Hardy hits a clothesline into a DDT and there’s the Side Effect onto the apron to put Moose down again. The Twist Of Fate connects on the floor but Moose is back up with some trashcan lid shots to the face.

Moose grabs a ladder and then chairs him over and over, only to have Hardy come back with a low blow. Now it’s Hardy getting in some chair shots of his own and they head outside, with the brawl going into the crowd. Hardy knocks him back to ringside and hits a suplex, setting up a middle rope elbow for two. The Twist Of Fate is countered into a release Rock Bottom so it’s time to load up a table in the corner.

The spear is blocked so Moose chairs him down instead and then piles the chairs up. A superplex onto the chairs gives Moose two so he sets the chairs up side by side. Another superplex through them is broken up and Hardy powerbombs him onto the chairs for two of his own. With the chairs exhausted, Hardy grabs a box from underneath the ring. Moose gets in a trashcan lid shot and puts Hardy down, allowing him to pull….a football helmet out of the box. With the helmet on, Moose charges into a backdrop over the top and onto the ladder at ringside.

Hardy uses the breaker to load up two ladders at ringside with a table between them. A well placed Chicago Bears helmet to the head drops Moose (and draws what sounds like a CTE chant, which is kind of chilling). Hardy’s legdrop off the ladder puts Moose through a table before Hardy wraps a chair around Moose’s head.

The Twist of Fate with the chair gets two, as Alisha comes in with the kendo stick for the save. Cue Reby Hardy for the brawl, including her own Twist of Fate to Alisha. Matt loads up his own spear but puts Reby through the table by mistake. The shaken up Matt walks into a spear from Moose to retain the title at 21:32.

Rating: C+. Well thank goodness for that. I was worried that Moose was going to drop the title here and I don’t think I could handle more of the Broken Hardys. Moose winning off the spear isn’t exactly an inspiring moment but it is going to be a pretty big deal when someone finally beats him. Better main event than usual from Moose, but there was a lot of time that could have been cut while they were setting things up.

Post match the beatdown is on with the Nemeths and Joe Hendry coming in for a failed save attempt…so here is Jeff Hardy with a chair for the real save. House is cleaned and a Swanton hits Moose, leaving the good guys to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The wrestling was rather strong throughout most of the night, but it did feel like the show before the show that really matters. You had Grace winning to set up her match with Ash, the ABC winning a nothing match, Ali winning to set up his match with Bailey, and the Hardys coming back because they always have to be around. It’s a show that could have been a bit shorter, but I was expecting nothing and got about three hours of solid action, so I’ll call that a rather nice win.

Results
Sami Callihan b. Jonathan Gresham – Cactus Driver 97
Alisha Edwards/Masha Slamovich b. The Hex – Steiner Bulldog to Belle
Mike Santana/Steve Maclin b. The Rascalz – Spin The Block to Wentz
PCO b. Rich Swann – PCOsault
System b. Ryan Nemeth/Nic Nemeth – Boston Knee Party to Ryan
Frankie Kazarian b. Joe Hendry – Right hand with a foreign object
Mustafa Ali b. Trent Seven – Sharpshooter
ABC b. Josh Alexander/Eric Young – The Fold to Young
Jordynne Grace b. Tatum Paxley – Juggernaut Driver
Moose b. Matt Hardy – Spear

 

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:

Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis

Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim

The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.

Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.

Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.

Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.

Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness

Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.

Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.

Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.

Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.

Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.

Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.

Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary

Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.

Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.

Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.

Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.

Cody Rhodes vignette.

Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.

Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?

We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.

Ethan gives his team a pep talk.

Team Carter vs. Team Lashley

This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.

Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.

Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.

Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.

Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.

Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.

Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.

Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.

Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have arrived. Unfortunately it’s not at Bound For Glory or anything that’s going to matter in the long run, but we’ve reached Final Deletion II: This Time It’s REALLY Final. In other words, Decay is going to the Hardy Compound to fight Matt and Jeff in what’s going to be a big mess that you may or may not find highly entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.

We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.

Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.

Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria with something to say. Mike says don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which is what Moose has been doing lately. It was Bennett that brought Moose in and paid him but thanks to a strongly worded text message, Moose has been fired. With him out of the way, Mike can become World Champion like he deserves.

This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.

Post break Mike and Maria yell at Dixie, who says Mike is in breach of contract if he doesn’t fight. As a bonus, Maria is no longer in charge of the Knockouts because she has to defend the Knockouts Title against an opponent to be determined next week.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna and Gail start things off because it’s always Gail first. Allie gets tagged in and is promptly run over by a shoulder to send her outside. Sienna tells Allie to stay out of it because she’s not a wrestler. The fans want Allie but get Sienna’s running splash on Gail instead. The AK47 is broken up but Sienna still won’t tag Allie in. Jade comes in with her kicks and Allie accidentally tags herself in and hits Sienna by mistake. Sienna runs Allie over with the Silencer and Jade gets the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement though I’m really not sure where this is going. Allie is being turned face but how do you go from her not being able to do basic stuff properly to being able to fight someone like Sienna? I still don’t care about Gail, Jade or Sienna but that’s the product of forcing our way to Gail vs. Maria despite it being a squash on paper.

Billy Corgan has a major announcement but won’t say what it is.

Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt bringing the rest of the team to his personal zoo. That means a giraffe named George Washington eats a hat and the brothers Hardy fighting a kangaroo named Smoking Joe Frazier. Later, Matt, described as a spot monkey whisperer, talks to monkeys named after members of the X-Division. Then a tiger tells Matt that Decay arrives tonight. I really don’t know what I just saw but it’s giving me flashbacks to Mean Gene and George Steele in the Detroit Zoo so we’ll declare this awesome.

Corgan is in the ring and unveils the Grand Championship, which is replacing the now retired King of the Mountain Title. This brings out Drew Galloway to say he’s 6’5, thirty one years old and has sixteen years experience so how can anyone else be the choice? Corgan says this is the evolution of wrestling and we get a video giving us the rules

3 rounds

3 minutes per round

The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.

There will be an eight man tournament and the first champion will be crowned at Bound For Glory. Galloway says he is this business but here’s Aron Rex to say this started over a title and it’s ending with Drew going back to Scotland in a medical helicopter. Corgan says not so fast because we’ve got a tournament match right now.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway

The judges are just unnamed people and the lights are down for some reason. Drew gets in a belly to belly and says that’s a ten. A boot to the face gets two for Galloway and he fires off chops in the corner as this is one sided so far. Some right hands have Sutter in more trouble and the first round ends at just over three minutes. The first round goes to Drew 10-9 all around, giving us a 30-27 score.

Sutter gets beaten up for the first minute of the second round before he snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope to take over. A superplex gets two on Galloway and a snap powerslam gets the same. Sutter pounds away as Josh says Drew has given up his back (because this is a UFC match) and the second round ends. The scores go 10-9, 10-9 and 9-10 in Sutter’s favor…..which means the match is even because they’ve won a round each. Sure why not. Drew gets in a piledriver and the Iron Maiden makes Sutter tap at 8:03 (including breaks between rounds).

Rating: D. So to recap, the number of points you get don’t count because it’s based on who wins two rounds? In other words, they’re trying to make this like UFC but want to switch it just enough that it’s not UFC? Ignoring the scoring system (never been a fan in wrestling), this was a bad match with the guys mainly chopping each other and then pounding away like a UFC fight to end the rounds. Oh and again: nine minute time limits. How can that be a good idea?

During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.

A guy leaves a liquor store and runs into Rosemary. Sexual innuendo is exchanged and Decay attacks, leaving the guy in the road and stealing the truck. Abyss says he’s heard Cameron is beautiful this time of the year.

We go to a press conference for the main event of Bound For Glory. Corgan, Ethan Carter III and Lashley all come out to their entrance music with the fans/press waving their arms to Ethan’s song. Corgan talks about how this is the kind of match you’re going to remember in twenty years. Carter sees a monster in Lashley but he also sees a coward behind those sunglasses.

Lashley destroyed a division and that’s not cool. They started fighting back in England over Kurt Angle’s broken body (Lashley: “I did that.”) and it ends at Bound For Glory. Lashley talks about being the guy that can defend Impact from other organizations but Carter says he’s beaten everyone and Lashley will be no different. Lashley goes on a rant about everyone he’s hurt and how Carter will be no different (that sounds familiar). A brawl broke out and the “press” just awkwardly watched. This is by far the best thing on the show tonight but that’s just because it’s less insane than the other stuff.

The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.

Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz

Apparently you get points for aggressiveness, controlling the action and physicality. They trade arm work to start with Godderz working on a chinlock. A dropkick and forearm get two for Jesse and it’s a few armdrags to wrap up the first round. Jesse wins the first round 29-28 with the announcers turning into analysts in between rounds.

Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.

Rating: D+. This was another basic match with a gimmick attached that makes it feel more “real” because that’s what wrestling fans tune in to see on a show featuring a boxing kangaroo. I like Drake and Godderz has grown on me tremendously but there’s nothing you can do when you’re having three mini matches and have to play to some judges who aren’t likely to mean much in this whole tournament.

We recap Galloway and Rex’s issues over the last few weeks.

Rex is kicking stuff over and really doesn’t feel like talking. He’s talked and performed for years but he’s done thinking. So here’s the problem: there’s a good chance these two are going to wind up in the finals of the Grand Championship tournament at Bound For Glory. Ok, cool. Those two fighting for a title is fine. What’s not cool is having this big, violent feud’s first match be in this rigidly timed format with a nine minute time limit. Let them beat the heck out of each other instead of going to a judges’ decision or having to get the match done fast. Think this stuff through.

It’s time for Final Deletion II. Decay goes after Senor Benjamin but he turns a shovel around to show the word DELETE. We cut to Decay arriving at the house, which Rosemary calls home sweet home. They look through the window to see Reby holding Maxill but here’s Matt, who KNEW THEY WOULD COME.

Back from a break and it’s time for the showdown with the Hardys (the three adults) holding up their fireworks. Abyss: “THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!” Hang on because there are going to be a lot of very quick cuts in this thing. The Hardys chase them off with the fireworks and a ladder is knocked over. It’s really hard to see what’s going on here but for some reason fireworks are being shot horizontally at Decay but a camera cut shows them exploding in the air.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

It’s off to Steve, who tries to send Jeff face first into a fire inside a big tire. That earns Steve a sitout gorbuster into a pool and they fight underwater. Matt is walking through smoke and calling for Rosemary as Benjamin dumps Park (presumably) into a grave. Jeff chokes Steve out under the water and sits on the side of the pool, only to be pulled back in ala the end of Friday the 13^th.

Back to Benjamin who laughs at the grave but Abyss pops out to choke him. Steve and Jeff fight over a pool toy but it’s back to Abyss going after Matt and pulling out Janice. Jeff takes the shot to the ribs for his brother but here’s Vanguard I to launch rockets at Decay. The Hardy symbol in the grass is lit on fire with Steve inside. We cut back to the house where Rosemary has Maxill.

Vanguard I tells her to put him down so she blows mist at the drone to knock it offline. Maxill escaped somewhere in there and here’s Matt to say Rosemary has crossed a line. She mists him but he sucks it into his mouth and spits it back at her. Maxill staggers over to Matt as Reby reappears. The family is reunited but we cut back to Jeff who is laying on the ground in agony. Steve laughs at the fallen Benjamin and a car, I guess containing Decay, leaves to end the show.

So yeah, the Final Deletion is basically Sharknado. It was a lot of fun the first time because it was just so stupid but the second version is really just a bigger budget version where you expect the same stuff over and over again. Other than the random Joseph Park cameo (really funny), this was a lot of the same bits that they did the first time but without the “what am I watching” reactions. I had fun with it and all but I really don’t need to see this again unless they come up with something fresh next time. It also doesn’t help that this set up (in theory) a regular tag match at Bound For Glory. Isn’t that kind of backwards?

Overall Rating: D. Let’s get this one out of the way right now: there was an idea here. This show was an attempt to try a lot of different stuff and not just do the same old ideas that we’ve covered for so many months if not years. I can give them a lot of credit for that attempt but that doesn’t mean it’s something that worked.

The wrestling here was bad and as is so often the case, that’s not on the wrestlers themselves. The tag match was built around Allie not knowing what to do and the other two matches were hamstrung by the time constraints and rules. Unfortunately that’s all the wrestling we had here as the Final Deletion is just an insane segment and not a match by any stretch. I really didn’t care much for this show but it’s an example where they tried to do something different, which you really don’t see often in wrestling. There’s certainly an audience that wants to see this but I don’t know how big it really is.

Results

Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade

Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma

 

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