Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

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http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s that time again. We’re officially on the Road To Wrestlemania and as a result, I’ll be redoing some Wrestlemania reviews. As usual, I’ll be doing last year’s show, plus whatever you want me to look at. Vote in the comments and let me know which Wrestlemania you want me to look at again, save for the following, which I’ve either done recently or done too often over the years:

Wrestlemania I
Wrestlemania III
Wrestlemania VI
Wrestlemania IX
Wrestlemania XX
Wrestlemania XXII
Wrestlemania LXI

Let me know in the comments for the next week or so!

KB

Souled Out 1997
Date: January 25, 1997
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 5,120
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase

Here we have something different, as it’s an NWO pay per view. This was one of the bigger ideas that they had from WCW at this point and to say it go well would be a huge understatement. The main event is Hollywood Hogan defending the World Title against the Giant, which should be a layup of a match if there ever was one. Let’s get to it.

Also of note: this show was on a Saturday to make it feel different.

Finally of note: there are all kinds of segments throughout the show featuring the Miss NWO pageant. These, and pretty much everything else between the matches, are missing from the broadcast on the WCW YouTube channel, likely out of good taste. That cuts off nearly half an hour or so from the show.

We see a bunch of trucks, both equipment and garbage, driving to the show (with a Taco Bell sign in the background). For some reasons Syxx is running behind one of the trucks until the NWO eventually arrives at the arena. They promise to change the industry, as they’ve done multiple times.

The real opening video is the NWO bragging about how awesome they are and promising to take over.

Eric Bischoff is at a podium on the stage, sitting over a steep set of steps towards the ring, and we have a house band. At least it’s kind of different. Hollywood Hogan, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash pop up on the screen to welcome us to the show.

Commentary sits down and we’re finally ready to go.

Chris Jericho (WCW) vs. Masahiro Chono (NWO)

The ring announcer does a bunch of funny anecdotes for the entrances, with Jericho (no music, ala the rest of the WCW wrestlers tonight) being described as “from somewhere north of the border), while Chono (with music) gets praise and a full entrance. Jericho gets shoved away off a lockup and is accused of a hair pull. Chono knocks him to the floor as some WCW wrestlers (mainly tag teams and Arn Anderson) show up to watch from the crowd).

Back in and Jericho suplexes his way out of a test of strength but gets caught in a cobra clutch legsweep. Chono’s top rope shoulder drops Jericho again and they go outside so Chono can keep up the beating. They get back inside where Chono takes out the leg but Jericho manages an enziguri. Naturally Bischoff is there to explain what kind of a kick it is, because he absolutely cares.

Chono is right back on the leg but Jericho manages a jumping elbow to the face. A bridging German suplex gets a rather slow two but Chono atomic drops him down. It’s time for a table (rather thin one at that), which of course takes way too long, allowing Jericho to hit a dropkick. Chono puts a foot on the rope for the save so Jericho goes up top, where Chono kicks him off and through the table (with a good crunch sound). Back in and the Mafia Kick finishes for Chono at 11:10.

Rating: C+. Chono was a nice addition to the NWO to make it fee like a bigger deal internationally, though he only did so much in WCW. Jericho was starting to turn into a more reliable star at this point, which would get a heck of a lot better when he turned heel. For now though, he was a good hand and that’s a better role than the nothing he was doing earlier.

There are women here for the Miss NWO pageant. This means women sitting on motorcycles and we see various women who sent in resumes and photos.

We go to Jeff Katz, who asks the women various questions, which are of course rather suggestive. After two of them, it’s off to the next match.

Hugh Morrus (WCW) vs. Big Bubba Rogers (NWO)

This is a Mexican Death Match and Morrus has Jimmy Hart with him. Apparently DiBiase is the reason the WCW stars don’t have music, which does make sense. Bubba shoves him into the corner as we have no actual explanation of the rules. Morrus knocks him back down and gets yelled at by Nick Patrick (who is refereeing every match tonight), allowing Bubba to get in a low blow.

Bischoff calls it boxing skills but doesn’t seem thrilled when Morrus clotheslines Bubba over the top. Even Hart gets in a few kicks (Bischoff: “The human cartoon character.”) but Morrus’ charge is cut off by a chain to the face. Back up and Bubba whips him with a the chain (ow) so Morrus takes it away and knocks Bubba silly. The middle rope moonsault connects and Patrick starts to count, as apparently this is Last Man Standing.

The ten count takes forever of course so Morrus yells at Patrick, allowing Bubba to get back up. Morrus knocks Bubba down again for another slow count and Bubba is up to slug him down. This lets Bischoff talk about the card, which is cut off as Morrus gets up and hits a low blow of his own. Morrus takes him up the ramp but misses the moonsault off the steps (which would have been totally off anyway). Rather than do anything to him, Bubba gets on a motorcycle and runs Morrus over for the ten count at 9:05.

Rating: D+. This was slow and not that interesting, but what were you expecting from these two? Morrus was better as a brawler, but there was only so much you could do with such a punny name. Bubba was the same guy he had been for years, meaning he was completely fine but firmly stuck in the lower midcard. In addition, save for the ending, there was pretty much no need for this to be a death match.

Katz asks more suggestive questions and the women have pretty much nothing to say.

We look at the NWO website, which is as 1997 as you can get.

Jeff Jarrett (WCW) vs. Mr. Wallstreet (NWO)

It’s like Razor Ramon’s least interesting Intercontinental Title challengers fighting each other. Wallstreet bails to the ropes to start so Jarrett takes him into the corner, where Patrick breaks up a right hand. A hiptoss puts Wallstreet down and Jarrett’ high crossbody gets a slow two. Wallstreet gets faceplanted down and choked on the ropes…which sets up the running crotch attack, only for Patrick to shove Wallstreet out of the way.

Jarrett gets dropped throat first onto the barricade as we see Debra McMichael in the crowd and looking worried. A whip sends Jarrett over the barricade and since it’s a Wallstreet match, he just throws Jarrett back inside. The sleeper doesn’t last long as Debra is trying to get Steve McMichael to come help Jarrett. Another sleeper, this time from Jarrett, is broken up by Patrick and Wallstreet kicks him down to take over again.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jarrett fights up for a suplex. Jarrett starts in on the leg and grabs the Figure Four, with Patrick dragging him over to the ropes for the break. Jarrett’s abdominal stretch with a grab of the ropes is broken up by Patrick so Wallstreet grabs the same thing. That’s enough for Steve to come in and BLAST Wallstreet with the briefcase. A threat to Patrick makes him count the pin for Jarrett at 9:25.

Rating: D+. It’s a bad sign when the most interesting thing is a briefcase shot to the back, but that’s what you had here. This is a good (or I guess bad) example of two people who are technically sound but JUST SO FREAKING BORING. They’re both talented wrestlers but good grief they were just having a dry match with the one concept (the cheating referee) being used over and over. In other words, this belonged on a Nitro when they needed to fill time, not this pay per view.

More women, this time the senior division, who can’t hear the questions.

The band plays a song about the NWO.

Buff Bagwell (NWO) vs. Scotty Riggs (WCW)

The American Males…oh these two could never explode so we’ll say run into each other for not much of a reaction. Riggs jumps him before the bell, with Bischoff swearing fines will be levied. Bagwell gets knocked outside and Patrick has to calm Riggs down as we’re already in the stalling. Back in and Bagwell’s headlock doesn’t last long as Riggs is back with a dropkick, followed by the right hands on the mat. A belly to belly drops Bagwell, who comes up with a slap to the face’s face.

The first gear continues with an exchange of hiptoss attempts and Bagwell crashing out to the floor. Riggs adds a dive of his own but Bagwell fights back again because Riggs isn’t very good. As the PA announcer calls Riggs a loser, Bagwell brings him back inside to stomp away. A clothesline gets some twos, with Bagwell complaining about the speed of the count for a change.

Bagwell makes Riggs do the clap, followed by a powerbomb (not something you often see Bagwell do) for a rather delayed two. Bagwell’s tights come down to warrant some censoring and we hit the reverse chinlock, with Bagwell’s legs over Riggs’ arms for some reason. We pause for hip swiveling as Bagwell continues to prove that he’s no Rick Rude. The reverse chinlock goes on as this show somehow gets even duller. Even commentary points out that the fans are getting bored and Riggs reversing a suplex into a small package doesn’t help.

An enziguri puts Bagwell down but they hit stereo crossbodies, because a double down is EXACTLY what this needed. Bagwell’s neckbreaker is countered into a backslide for two and Riggs powerbombs him for the same. Commentary seems worried that Bagwell is having trouble beating Riggs, because, you know, IT’S SCOTTY RIGGS. Bagwell is taken up top but knocks him down, setting up “that new move”, which would become known as the Blockbuster. That and a grab of the tights is enough to end Riggs at 13:53.

Rating: D-. The Blockbuster alone is pretty much the only thing keeping this from being a failure, because WOW they could not have had a worse match if they tried. The thing is, the match isn’t even terrible, but good grief who is supposed to care about these two fighting? The American Males were a lower midcard team who had a fluke Tag Team Title reign. It’s proof that just throwing an NWO shirt on someone doesn’t make them more interesting and having someone feud with the NWO doesn’t make them a star. Terribly uninteresting stuff here on a show that is dying for a hot match.

Bagwell actually gets pyro after the match and dances with the contestants.

Katz does the same thing he’s done all night.

The NWO has a hotline. No Gene Okerlund though.

Diamond Dallas Page (WCW) vs. Scott Norton (NWO)

This is just after Page turned down the NWO, launching him into the biggest run of his career. Norton powers him down to start (as you might expect), with the PA guy calling Page a loser. A running shoulder doesn’t work for Page either so he takes a breather on the floor. Back in and Page grabs a headlock takeover for some needed grinding.

Back up and Page shrugs off some chops, allowing him to hit the Pancake (basically a Neutralizer), only to get blasted with a clothesline. We pause though as Sting pops up in the crowd but Norton ignores him to hit the shoulderbreaker, with Page rolling outside. Norton stays on the arm so Patrick asks Page if he wants to give up. Page say no, so Patrick says “it’s your shoulder”.

One heck of a crash on the floor has Page’s arm banged up even worse but he avoids a sitdown splash back inside. Page slugs away and hits a nice looking top rope clothesline for two, followed by the running tornado DDT. Cue the NWO lackeys, who want Page to join the team (again). Page puts on the shirt, pulls Norton into the Diamond Cutter, commentary freaks out, and Page runs for the countout at 9:49.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t great, but what mattered here was Page looking like someone willing to stand up to the NWO. He looked clever and outsmarted the villains, which made Page stand out after months of WCW looking like idiots. That’s one of the reasons he became a star, along with his matches getting better. This wasn’t a classic, but after some of the other stuff on this show, it was glorious.

Katz interviews the women again, with one of them FINALLY getting the hint and getting suggestive herself. And that’s it.

Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers (WCW) vs. Outsiders (NWO)

The Steiners are challenging and this should pick things up a bit. Also, for the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner is “Scott” and Scott Hall is “Hall”. The Outsiders are also the first NWO members to get the signature song rather than the B team song, which does fit. Scott and Hall start things off, with Scott backing him into the corner, earning the Hall spooky fingers (one of his greatest contributions to wrestling).

Hall is back with the driving shoulders so Scott fireman’s carries him down with ease. A pumphandle slam plants Hall and he gets tossed with an overhead belly to belly. Rick comes in to drop Nash and the Steiners hit their pose. Back in and Hall hammers away in the corner but gets slammed back out, with Bischoff actually going to regular commentary for a bit.

Rick’s crossbody is pulled out of the air with a fall away slam (ok that was nice) for two and we hit the armbar. That’s broken up so Scott comes in, with Hall immediately chokeslamming him. It’s off to Nash for the first time and you know that means things are going to slow down. Rick fights out and gets in his powerslam for a slow two as commentary ignores the match to talk about Hogan. As usual.

A running big boot knocks Rick outside, where Hall hits the clothesline to drop him again. Back in and we hit a variety of choking until Hall clotheslines him from the apron. Nash misses an elbow but Hall is right back in to hammer away. Rick gets dropped face first onto the apron as this is just so slow. Both Outsiders hit side slams, with Nash’s getting two. The running crotch attack hits the back of Rick’s neck but Scott goes over to deck an interfering Hall.

Back in and Nash spits at Scott, which distracts Patrick enough so that Rick can get in a low blow. Scott comes in to clean house, including a Saito suplex to Nash (even Bischoff is impressed). The super DDT is loaded up but Nash makes the save, allowing Hall to Outsider’s Edge Scott. The ref is bumped though and Rick hits the top rope bulldog. There’s no Patrick, so WCW referee Randy Anderson jumps the barricade and counts the pin on Hall at 14:41.

Rating: D+. The ending picked things up a bit, but this was a lot of Rick getting beaten up and there was pretty much nothing else to see here. On the good end, it was nice to see something that actually felt important. Having a title match on the show did help, even if the screwy ending has all the signs of something not counting.

Commentary complains about the title change. And no, of course it didn’t count and the Outsiders got the titles back on Nitro.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero (WCW) vs. Syxx (NWO)

Guerrero is defending in a ladder match after Syxx stole the physical belt. Guerrero jumps him while the belt is being raised, which makes the annoyed commentators even angrier. Syxx kicks him in the face and strikes away in the ropes but gets knocked outside. The big dive connects for Guerrero, which has DiBiase worried (which has me wondering how a DiBiase vs. Guerrero match could have gone).

Back in and Syxx cuts off a charge in the corner, allowing a middle rope spinwheel kick to drop Guerrero. Syxx knocks him into the corner for the Bronco Buster as Bischoff says Syxx is a REAL karate guy, unlike those Hollywood actors. Back up and Guerrero flips over him for a dropkick as Bischoff keeps talking about martial arts. Syxx suplexes him to the floor in a nasty crash, thankfully getting Bischoff’s attention for a bit.

A running flip dive to the floor takes Guerrero down again and it’s time for the first ladder. Syxx hits him with the ladder and goes up, only for Guerrero to teeter totter the ladder into his face. That sets up a slingshot…uh, stomp to the ribs, but it keeps Syxx down. Guerrero gets whipped hard into the ladder in the corner and Syxx drops him with a suplex, meaning it’s time to climb. The ladder being in the corner makes it a bit of a waste of time but Syxx knocks him off and goes up again.

That takes too long as well, allowing Guerrero to dropkick him onto the top for a crotching. Guerrero goes up but Syxx climbs up and jumps up for a dropkick (Bischoff: “Inverted jump side kick!” Yeah it might have been a one legged kick but it looked enough like a dropkick.) for the big crash back down. Guerrero gets knocked off the top again, only to crash into the ladder and send Syxx down as well. They both go up this time and the belt is pulled down, with Guerrero hitting him in the head to get the win (Patrick’s over the top freaking out helps) at 13:51.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night here, which helps when you have two incredibly talented stars getting to go out there and showcase themselves. It started slowly but then turned into the two of them doing the big spots that make these matches work. If nothing else, it was nice to see WCW getting a win that actually lasted, as the NWO dominated so much of the show in the early going. Good match here, with Guerrero getting to prove how great he can be. Again.

Guerrero goes through the crowd to celebrate, with Bischoff saying he’s going to get the Tag Team Titles back, plus have a new belt made for Syxx.

We actually meet the finalists of the Miss NWO pageant, with each getting to walk around a bit, plus a bio graphic. This goes on for a good while, because we had some energy going with a good match and that has to be stopped cold. Bischoff gets to pick the winner and is happy with the idea that the women all paid for their own travel and they all have their own motorcycles. He thinks it’s a tie, so he asks them a question with the best answer winning. Granted we don’t actually hear the question or the answer, but a woman who kisses him gets the win. And yes she’s the oldest to complete the gag.

WCW World Title: The Giant (WCW) vs. Hollywood Hogan (NWO)

The Giant is challenging after winning World War III and getting mad at Hogan for saying he wouldn’t get the title shot, meaning he was off the team. The main thing I remember about this build is a promo of Giant holding a match and saying that like Hogan, it gave people some light and warmth for a bit, but just like Hogan, it was getting blown out. Anyway Hogan comes out with some Dallas Cowboys, because he’s a huge star, but they wanted to save a bunch of money on the Miss NWO pageant, because it’s a bit of a confusing story.

Hogan punches him, the PA voice says “the biggest icon in wrestling”, and they circle each other a bit. The chops put Hogan on the floor and the chase is on, but Hogan catches him coming in to hammer away (he’s being more aggressive than usual here). Back up and they hit a double clothesline to put both of them down and Giant is up first. Giant kicks away in the corner before doing the same thing on the floor. Hogan slugs away back inside and tries….a running small package? I think it was supposed to be a crossbody but Hogan couldn’t get up so it just looked bad instead.

Hogan gets knocked outside and fires off some powder, with Patrick not really caring, to take over again. Some choking with a belt has Giant in more trouble but he’s able to come back with a backbreaker. For some reason the Giant goes up top but misses an elbow to give Hogan two. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by the slam and legdrop. Rather than covering though, Hogan poses and Giant pops up, leaving commentary freaking out.

There’s the chokeslam so Patrick says he’s up at two, despite Hogan not moving. They then do the same thing two more times in a row so Giant chokeslams Patrick. Bischoff runs to the ring with a guitar (sure) as Giant chokeslams the NWO goons. Hogan is back up with the guitar to Giant’s back and the Outsiders are here too. The fans want Sting but get the big beatdown and spray painting as we’ll say it’s thrown out at 11:00.

Rating: D-. Hogan was actually a bit energetic to start but the running small package (not something I thought I’d say, especially for this match) and everything else was rather terrible. That’s including the ending, which was basically “oh well, here’s the NWO to end the NWO show with the NWO referee and the NWO ring and EVERYTHING NWO.” Hogan and Giant could have a passable match and they came close at times here, but never mind as it was the standard ending, as always.

The NWO celebrates. A lot. For a long time. Too long really. The show ends.

Overall Rating: F. And that’s where the NWO stopped being cool. The problem here should be pretty clear: the NWO worked, but you need ANYTHING else. This was over two and a half hours of “the NWO cheats, the matches are terrible, the NWO stands tall”. You had Guerrero retaining but not getting a pin, the Steiners getting the most obvious Dusty Finish title change and Hogan doing the same thing in another main event.

The NWO standing tall and dominating everything often came at the end of Nitro, but that came at the end of a show featuring a bunch of different matches and things going on. Instead, we had it going on all night with the NWO making fun of everyone and one dull match after another. The wrestling here made you realize how useless the non-top members of the team really are. Bagwell, Wallstreet and Rogers were having one uninteresting, unimportant match after another and it made me wonder when something good was going to happen.

The problem is that something never came, as it was all about the NWO. It’s the biggest story in WCW, but there had to be something else to carry the show. Otherwise, you realize that it’s just a bunch of people filling in time until Hogan, the Outsiders and Syxx can get out there and do something that actually matters. Instead we had Riggs vs. Bagwell for thirteen minutes to kill some of our brain cells. This was horrible, but even worse it was just boring, and that’s not even counting the unfunny pageant stuff. All time disaster of a show here and the NWO would be around for a LONG time to come.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2025
Date: February 1, 2025
Location: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 70,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Pat McAfee

It’s time for the first ever February Royal Rumble and we’re in a stadium to make things even bigger. That makes things all the more interesting and the show definitely has a big time feeling. This will also mark John Cena’s final Royal so the stakes are even higher than usual. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the entrance on my right.

Various people advertised for the show did in fact show up.

Stephanie McMahon joins us for a special welcome and tells us just how big this show really is.

The opening video is, shockingly enough, narrated by Pat McAfee, who praises Indianapolis for its heart and grit and sports legacy, which is now getting in on the Royal Rumble. This switches into the usual “this is about going to Wrestlemania” and it just feels awesome. We even get a brief intro to the Royal Rumble concept, which is a smart idea for new fans.

Women’s Royal Rumble

2 minute intervals and Iyo Sky is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. This is also the debut of the AWESOME info graphics on the screen, which includes things like past winners, times, current people involved and what’s on the line etc. That is an OUTSTANDING addition, especially for a match this chaotic and gives it a “real sports feel”. Sky blocks an early Oblivion attempt and they fight up against the ropes to no avail. Roxanne Perez is in at #3 and manages to knock both of them down.

Lyra Valkyria is in at #4 (The graphics tell us that there are four active, zero eliminated and the next entrant will be #5. That is going to be VERY helpful when things get crazy and my goodness it’s awesome to see) and takes over on Perez but has to pause to fix her top. Morgan is smart enough to knock her down so the wardrobe can be fixed (with a referee running over to help). Chelsea Green is in at #5 to send Morgan to the apron and then points at the sign.

That earns her a big group beatdown and it’s B-Fab in at #6. Everyone goes up against the ropes to no avail and it’s Ivy Nile in at #7. Suplexes (and rhythmic YOU SUCK chants) ensue, including a double to Green and B-Fab. Zoey Stark is in at #8 and hits a top rope swinging neckbreaker to drop Perez. Morgan almost gets Green out but she hangs on despite a flurry of kicks.

Lash Legend is in at #9 and gets to clean house with the big power displays. Legend and B-Fab kick each other down at the same time and Green gets rid of B-Fab for the first elimination. Bianca Belair is in at #10, giving us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Valkyria, Green, Nile, Stark, Legend and Belair. That means Belair gets to show off for a bit until Shayna Baszler is in at #11. Baszler gets to take out some arms until Valkyria kicks her in the head. Nile tosses Valkyria as we continue the tradition of midcard champions having less than great luck in these things.

Bayley is in at #12 and cleans a bit of house before getting into a staredown with Sky. They seem to decide to work together until Sonya Deville is in at #13. The Pure Fusion Collective (Deville/Stark/Baszler in case you’re not one of the 18 people who don’t remember them) starts taking over but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Maxxine Dupri is in at #14 and gets stared down by the Collective, who are taken down as well. Dupri German suplexes Nile and actually kicks her out to quite the reaction. The celebration takes too long though and the Collective gets rid of Dupri.

Naomi is in at #15 and Blockbusters Green before slowing down a bit. The Collective is tossed out in a row and the ring is cleared WAY out in a hurry. Jaida Parker is in at #16 and gets in a Tear Drop in the corner to crush Green. Parker, Legend, Naomi and Belair have a four way staredown so Green tries to get involved, which goes as badly as you would expect. Legend kicks Parker in the face and gets tossed by Green, only to run into Belair and Naomi.

Piper Niven is in at #16 and Green wants her help, meaning hiding behind Niven, who slams Naomi. Niven accidentally knocks Green out though and it’s time to scream a lot. Natalya is in at #17 and drops Perez but can’t get her out. Jordynne Grace is in at #18 to quite the reaction and gets sent to the apron but manages to get back inside and knock Parker out. Grace Death Valley Drivers Niven to a heck of a reaction and it’s time to have a staredown with Naomi (they have a history in TNA).

Instead they hug and start beating people up until Michin is in at #20. That gives us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Niven, Natalya, Grace and Michin. Niven Piper Drivers Michin to knock her silly….and Alexa Bliss is back at #21 to a ROAR. This lets commentary get in a bunch of shots at dirt sheets, who swore that Bliss wasn’t going to be back. Bliss and Bayley have a big staredown and it’s Zelina Vega in at #22.

That means people can pair off again with little going on until Candice LeRae comes in at #23. Things slow down again and it’s Stephanie Vaquer in at #24 and feeling like she’s one of the biggest stars in the match the second she hits the ring. A springboard crossbody connects and the Devil’s Kiss makes it even better. Trish Stratus returns at #25 and gets to clean a bit of house before being knocked down.

Raquel Rodriguez is in at #26 and immediately helps her friend Morgan. That means a Codebreaker to get rid of Natalya, followed by another one to get rid of Bliss (the fans are NOT happy). Charlotte makes her big return at #27 (of course) and gets to clean house, including knocking out Michin. Charlotte manages to suplex Vaquer and Grace before dumping Niven (yep it’s happening) but gets dropped by Morgan and Rodriguez.

Giulia is in at #28 and headbutts Grace out as Nia Jax is in at #29. Jax immediately tosses Vega and LeRae is out too. Stratus slugs away at Jax, including the licking hand chop. Jax tosses her as well though and it’s Nikki Bella making the big return at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Vaquer, Rodriguez, Charlotte, Giulia, Jax and Bella. Everyone gets together to go after Jax, who shoves them all away.

Vaquer has to hang on with her feet danging but Jax tosses Vaquer, Sky, Belair, Naomi, Rodriguez and Morgan in the span of about fifteen seconds. Bella hits a spear but can’t get rid of Giulia. Charlotte, Perez and Giulia fight on the apron with Perez knocking Giulia into the post for an elimination. Bella forearms Bayley out but gets tossed by Jax, leaving us with Charlotte, Jax and Perez. Charlotte and Perez go after Jax, who gets sent over the top and crashes out. A big boot is enough to get rid of Perez to give Charlotte the win at 1:10:16.

Rating: C. There were some fun moments in here, but this took WAY too long to really get going. There were a lot of times when there was nothing going on between the entrances and it was just sitting around waiting for the next big name to come in. Throw in the ridiculous “Jax eliminates a bunch of people” feeling like you’re having a battle royal with toys and it’s time to go to bed and this was a rough sit. It’s far from terrible, but rather dull and that’s not a great thing. Oh and well done Charlotte on coming back after over a year away and just beating the entire division in one match. That’s very nice of you.

Time to sign point!

Godfather, Mickie James and Kurt Angle are here.

We recap DIY vs. the Motor City Machine Guns. The Guns showed up and won the Tag Team Titles in their third match but DIY turned heel to cheat them out of the titles. Now it’s 2/3 falls for the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. DIY

The Guns are challenging in at 2/3 falls match. Ciampa and Sabin start things off with a Gargano distraction letting Ciampa grab an early Willow’s Bell for two. Gargano comes in to take over but Sabin knocks him away. Ciampa comes back in and gets kicked into the corner where….there is no tag but Gargano comes in anyway. Shelley goes after Gargano anyway and walks into a jumping knee from Ciampa for the first fall at 3:23 in a brilliant heel move.

The second fall starts with Shelley still in trouble and the champs taking turns beating him down. Shelley kicks his way out and goes over for a tag but Ciampa breaks it up in a great move. Back in and the tag does bring in Sabin but the referee doesn’t see it (that will always work). A Shatter Machine drops Shelley for two, who then cuts off the slingshot spear, allowing the tag to Sabin. Everything breaks down and Sabin hits a big springboard dive to take out the villains on the floor.

Back in and a tornado DDT drops Gargano, followed by Skull & Bones for the pin on Gargano at 9:09. Everything breaks down (again) and the Fairy Tale Ending/superkick combination gets two on Shelley. Sabin is back up with an assisted powerbomb/Sliced Bread combination for two on Ciampa, with Gargano shoving Sabin in for the save. Skull & Bones is loaded up but cue a masked man to distract the referee, allowing Angelo Dawkins to crutch Shelley in the back. Meet In The Middle retains the titles at 14:03 (as Gargano looks confused but he’ll take it).

Rating: B-. The action was good and I loved the ending to the first fall, but my goodness I felt bad for them out there. The fans just did not care and the match might as well have been a junior high dance recital. It was far from bad and the action was fine, but the ending was lame and the fans were just not interested whatsoever.

Post match Dawkins and the masked man (Angelo Dawkins of course) jump DIY.

We look at Pat McAfee’s NFL career in this building.

Some fans get special tickets.

Ron Simmons, Rick Steiner and Rob Van Dam are here.

We recap Cody Rhodes defending the Smackdown World Title against Kevin Owens. Rhodes teamed with Roman Reigns, which Owens saw as a betrayal after his war with Reigns and the Bloodline. Owens then attacked Randy Orton and put him on the shelf. Then Owens got cheated out of winning the title (allegedly) at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Owens then laid Rhodes out with a package piledriver and stole the Winged Eagle title. Therefore, it’s time for a ladder match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Cody Rhodes

Owens is challenging in a ladder match and comes out wearing a “Canadian Dream, Son Of A Security Systems Technician” shirt because Owens is awesome. They start fast with the brawling and head outside, with Rhodes being sent into the ladder. Owens beats on him with a kendo stick and they fight into the crowd with Rhodes getting the better of things. They go back to ringside with Rhodes having to cut off a climb and sending Owens hard into the ladder.

Rhodes goes up but gets knocked down with a miniature ladder. Owens teases a splash off the mini ladder but gets back down, apparently not in the high risk business. Rhodes is up with the little ladder to the ribs, followed by a toss into the face. Rhodes drops him on the mini ladder and goes up, with Owens pulling him away to leave Rhodes hanging in the air. He gets back to the ladder but gets pulled down into a powerbomb for a hard crash.

They head outside with the big ladder being pulled out but Rhodes rips a rung off the bottom. That winds up going onto Rhodes’ head and Owens plants him again. The ladder is knocked down and turned on its side, where Owens loads up a package piledriver. Rhodes manages to avoid a bad case of death by countering into a backdrop and they’re both down. Back up and Owens sets up a bridged ladder but Rhodes catches him on top.

For some reason Rhodes tries a superplex and gets superplex onto the bridged ladder for the crazy landing. Cue a bunch of referees, plus Nick Aldis and Sami Zayn, to check on both of them. Owens is up first and goes after Rhodes, who sends him into the ladder to bust Owens open. Rhodes gets all fired up and they go outside, with Owens hitting him low for the save. Another package piledriver is loaded up but Rhodes reverses into the Alabama Slam through the bridged ladder. Owens is DONE and Rhodes retains the titles at 25:06.

Rating: B+ This felt like it was going to be a war and then that’s exactly what they delivered. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and it felt like they were out for blood with the title just being a detail. That’s what makes a match feel great and they pulled it off here, with an absolute fight and one of the best matches Rhodes has ever had. Unfortunately this is the kind of match that ruined Owens’ neck over the years, but yeow it was entertaining in the process.

Rumble By The Numbers.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rey Mysterio in at #1 and Penta in at #2. They stare at each other to start, with Penta doing CERO MIEDO. A running hurricanrana sends Penta to the apron but he gets back in with only one foot touching. They get back inside with Chad Gable in at #3 and suplexing Mysterio to the apron. The luchadors get together on Gable until Carmelo Hayes is in at #4. Hayes and Gable get together to fight back and take over until Santos Escobar is in at #5.

Escobar gives Mysterio a 619 but runs into Penta, who is quickly caught in a Canadian Destroyer. Mysterio is back up with a 619 to Escobar but can’t get him out. Everyone is down and it’s Otis in at #6 to clean house, but the Caterpillar is cut off by Gable’s ankle lock. One heck of a slap to the face rocks Gable, who manages a German suplex to Otis. Bron Breakker is in at #7 to quite the reaction.

The spear cuts Hayes in half and he’s out in a hurry, followed by the super Frankensteiner to Gable. Another spear hits Escobar and he’s out as well. Akira Tozawa is in at #8 but spends too much time posing and gets jumped by a departing Carmelo Hayes. Tozawa is taken to the back, where Triple H sends streamer IShowSpeed into the Rumble in his place, which is apparently something that he can just do. Speed actually eliminates Otis and then gets hit with a massive spear from Breakker. That’s it for Speed, even with Otis catching him on the way down.

Sheamus is in at #9 and forearms Gable and Breakker from the apron before he even gets inside. He does get inside and knocks Mysterio down as Jimmy Uso is in at #10. That gives us Mysterio, Penta, Gable, Breakker, Sheamus and Uso as the ring isn’t getting as clogged as it did in the women’s edition. Andrade is in at #11 and kicks away before going up top, where he is cut off by Penta.

Jacob Fatu is in at #12 and this is about to get violent. A double Samoan drop takes down Mysterio and Penta, with Gable, Mysterio and Andrade being tossed. Then it’s a Breakker vs. Fatu staredown, which has the fans rather interested. That’s broken up before anything can happen and it’s Ludwig Kaiser in at #13. And then he’s out in just a few seconds. Breakker manages to stay alive and Miz is in at #14.

Miz almost gets rid of Breakker but does manage to hit Penta with a super hurricanrana. Fatu shrugs off a kick to the head and counters Miz’s springboard (because Miz did a springboard) with a Samoan drop. TNA World Champion Joe Hendry is in at #15 and gives Miz the fall away slam. The Standing Ovation plants Miz again but Fatu runs Hendry over with a shoulder. And none of that matters as Roman Reigns is in at #16 and Miz and Sheamus are quickly out.

Hendry gets in a kick to the ribs but a single spear cuts him down and he’s out as well. Breakker is up with a spear to Reigns, though it’s way too early to dump him, as Reigns tosses Breakker instead. Uso is out as well and we get the Reigns vs. Fatu showdown. Reigns puts him down and Drew McIntyre is in at #17. McIntyre wins a slugout with Reigns and Fatu gets up to help with the stomping.

Finn Balor is in at #18 and gets taken down in the corner for a double teaming from Reigns and Penta of all people. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #19 and gets in a staredown with Penta. That doesn’t go anywhere as Penta hits a running step up Canadian Destroyer on Fatu. Balor throws Penta out and it’s Jey Uso in at #20, giving us Fatu, Reigns, McIntyre, Balor, Nakamura and Uso. Nakamura is quickly tossed by Uso but replaced as AJ Styles is in at #21.

Styles drops Uso and it’s a staredown with Fatu, who has done quite a few of those so far. A big backdrop takes Styles down and McIntyre helps hammer on him until Braun Strowman is in at #22 (who was recently taken out by Fatu in a big beatdown). Strowman goes right at it with Fatu and actually throws him out, leaving Fatu to freak out at ringside. Back in and Strowman gets jumped by McIntyre and it’s John Cena in at #23 to really send the fans into a frenzy.

Fatu keeps glaring as he leaves and low bridges Strowman out. Balor is AA’d out and Reigns gives McIntyre a spear, allowing him to stare at Cena. The fans are definitely into that but CM Punk is in at #24. They stare at each other and nothing happens as Seth Rollins is in at #25. Rollins immediately goes after Punk before trying to clothesline McIntyre out. Punk breaks that up by going after Rollins and it’s Dominik Mysterio in at #26. Reigns isn’t having any of his nonsense and hits a Samoan drop, followed by some choking in the corner.

Sami Zayn is in at #27 and Helluva Kicks Zayn before switching off to Punk. Damian Priest is in at #28 and chokeslams the heck out of Mysterio, which is enough for the elimination. LA Knight is in at #29 and jumps over Styles for the elbow to Cena. A neckbreaker takes Styles down and Knight slugs it out with Uso. Knight hits a belly to back slam to put Uso down before McIntyre tries to toss Zayn. Uso’s superkick puts Zayn out by mistake and Uso actually takes the blame.

Logan Paul is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Reigns, McIntyre, Uso, Styles, Cena, Punk, Rollins, Priest, Knight and Paul. The star power is certainly on display here. Priest knocks McIntyre out and Knight tries to get rid of Paul. Instead Paul jumps from the apron to the announcers’ table to save himself. Knight BFT’s Priest and throws him out, leaving us with eight.

Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Paul pulls him down and gets rid of him, leaving us with Reigns, Uso, Cena, Punk, Rollins and Paul. Rollins is up with a superkick to Punk and the Superman Punch into the Stomp plants Cena. That leaves us with the big Reigns vs. Rollins showdown and they…shove each other a lot. Reigns tries to clothesline Rollins out but Punk is up to toss both of then.

Paul sneaks up and throws Punk out, leaving us with a three way staredown on the floor. Rollins Stomps Reigns on the floor and then brawls with Punk until they’re separated. That’s fine with Rollins, who Stomps Reigns onto the steps for a bonus. That leaves us with Cena, Paul and Uso, who we suddenly remember are in the match. The double AA is broken up and it’s a superkick to knock Paul off Cena’s shoulders, allowing Cena to knock him out. That leaves us with Cena and Uso for quite the final two.

They stare each other down and then slug it out with Cena firing off the running shoulders. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Uso is back up with a superkick. The spear drops Cena again but he’s able to knock Uso out to the apron. Cena joins him on the apron and a superkick has him very staggered. The AA is escaped though and Uso slips back inside to shove Cena out for the upset win at 1:20:10.

Rating: A-. This was all about the star power and the drama, which went along with one of the biggest surprise winners in Rumble history. That’s a great way to make someone into a bigger star and Uso has certainly earned the chance. The segment with Punk and Rollins and Reigns and Cena was outstanding and pure drama, leaving me wondering about where everything was going to go. That’s on top of the pretty great opening part to the match, which built up so well. I had a great time with this match and the hour and twenty minutes flew by. Great Rumble.

Post match Cena shows respect and leaves Uso to celebrate on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was a better Women’s Royal Rumble away from being great, but as it is, it’s just rather good. As usual, the Royal Rumble is all about the show’s namesake shows and the men’s version is more than enough to carry the night. The women’s version brings it down, with the ladder match being more than enough to pick up some slack. It’s a rather good show, but dang it could have been that much better.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2024
Date: January 27, 2024
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 48,044
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for the look back at last year’s show which set up one of the biggest WWE events of all time. This show is designed to set up the main events of WrestleMania LX and that means it is time for Roman Reigns to get a new challenger. Speaking of Reigns, he is defending the title in a four way match. Let’s get to it.

Today, various people scheduled for the show did in fact come to the show.

Hulk Hogan narrates a video about how important this area is to wrestling. You have to be RUMBLE READY because it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania.

Earlier today: even more people came to work.

Pat McAfee comes out for commentary, with Corey Graves going on a hilarious rant about how much he hates this happening two years in a row.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Natalya is in at #1 and Naomi (in a surprise return) is in at #2. We get a handshake to start before Natalya takes her down, only to have the step over dropkick cut off. They hit stereo crossbodies and Bayley is in at #3. The Rear View puts Natalya down and Naomi drops Bayley, only to have them sit there so Natalya can hit a double basement dropkick (that looked awful). Candice LeRae is in at #4 and gets in a few shots to leave everyone down.

TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace is in at #5 and doesn’t get much of a reaction but she looks like a star. Grace cleans house and you can tell McAfee is impressed. We get a hug between Naomi and Grace (who beat Naomi to win the title) and the brawl is on. That doesn’t mean any eliminations yet though as Indi Hartwell is in at #6. LeRae and Hartwell team up as Cole says that we’ve never had two winners in a Royal Rumble, save for that time when we did.

Asuka is in at #7 and teams up with Bayley, who looks rather nervous. Hartwell and Asuka go to the apron with Bayley getting rid of Hartwell for the first elimination. Ivy Nile is in at #8 and impresses McAfee with her rather impressive strength. Katana Chance is in at #9 and anklescissors LeRae. Nile and Grace have a delayed suplex off before Nile hits a loud enziguri.

Bianca Belair is in at #10 and the place is rather impressed. We have Natalya, Naomi, Bayley, LeRae, Grace, Asuka, Nile, Chance and Belair, with the latter getting to clean some house, including a double Blockbuster to Bayley and Asuka. As usual, Belair gets to show off for a bit until Kairi Sane is in at #11 to give us three members of Damage CTRL. The three of them get to beat up various people but not actually toss anyone as the ring is getting way too full. LeRae sends Asuka and Sane to the apron, only to have Bayley make the save and toss LeRae in a big crash.

Tegan Nox is in at #12 and wrecks some people but Grace cuts her off. Natalya makes the save and gives Grace a discus lariat. Natalya goes to throw Nox out but gets tossed instead, with Bayley getting rid of Nox as well, leaving them both stunned on the floor. Katana Chance is in at #13 and is so distraught at losing the Women’s Tag Team Titles last night that she stops to dance.

Sane is sent over the top and one of her feet touches and she tries to hang on to the apron, only to fall down for the elimination (I’m not sure if that was the plan). Asuka is kicked out a few seconds later and Bayley yells at the rest of the team for being eliminated. Chelsea Green is in at #14 and is immediately sent to the apron twice in a row before hitting a Zig Zag on Belair. We get the Grace vs. Belair slugout and they go to the apron, where Belair hits a KOD for the elimination.

Piper Niven is in at #15 and catches Green as we get a set of nifty time counters for various entrants. A bunch of people get together to beat on Niven and it’s Xia Li in at #16. Li racks Green, who kicks at Niven by mistake for a not so great result. Zelina Vega is in at #17 and has what must be some weird cosplay deal. Vega gives Niven a tornado DDT as there are far too many people in there and the pace has slowed down a lot. Maxxine Dupri is in at #18 and does her SHOOSH before dropping to the mat to hide from Niven.

Vega and Belair team up for a Code Red to put Niven down. A bunch of people can’t get rid of Niven, who eliminates Carter. Nia Jax is in at #19 so Li goes after her, only to get knocked out in a hurry. Nile is out as well and Niven accidentally splashes Green. Jax does it in purpose and then gets rammed into Green in the corner for a funny bit. A bunch of people go after Jax, who then charges at Niven, with Green getting crushed between them. Naomi hits a springboard enziguri to Jax who, say it with me, falls onto Green as well.

Shotzi is in at #20, giving us Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Chance, Green, Niven, Vega, Dupri, Jax and Shotzi as the ring is WAY too full again. A bunch of people get together to go after Jax, who shrugs them off. Bayley gets rid of Dupri and Jax tosses Green and Niven. Chance is tossed out onto the pile as well and it’s Becky Lynch in at #21.

Lynch goes right after Jax and DDT’s Vega and Shotzi at the same time. She throws Jax into Bayley as Green is back in, apparently not being thrown out. Lynch knocks her out without much trouble so that was nothing, especially after her hilarious bit earlier. Alba Fyre is in at #22 and hits a double Gory Bomb on Shotzi and Vega. Ignore that Vega didn’t actually hit anything on the way down. With no one else out, Shayna Baszler is in at #23 to start going after arms.

Valhalla is in at #24….and here is R-Truth to take her place and enter the match by mistake. Jax throws him out anyway as Adam Pearce is here to say Valhalla is in and R-Truth is out. Then Jax throws Valhalla out without much trouble. Michin is in at #25 and goes after Fyre before Rock Bottoming Bayley onto Baszler. Naomi is up with a hanging Pedigree to get rid of Fyre as things slow down again.

Zoey Stark is in at #26 with a missile dropkick on Michin. The brawling continues, with Baszler blocking a hurricanrana fr Vega, who is kicked out in a heap. NXT’s Roxanne Perez is in at #27 and snaps off a headscissors on Stark. Bayley jumps Perez but can’t get rid of her as Jax throws out Baszler and Michin. Shotzi is tossed out and Jax is the only one left standing…..but Jade Cargill is in at #28. She gets one heck of a reaction and slugs it out with Jax, whom she picks up for a one armed Widowmaker. Cargill throws Jax out and even Lynch realizes that was awesome.

Cargill’s charge hits the post though and everyone is down as Tiffany Stratton is in at #29. She immediately flip dives onto a bunch of people and hits an Alabama Slam on Perez. The returning Liv Morgan is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Vega, Lynch, Stark, Perez, Cargill, Stratton and Morgan. The pace is picked up until Stark kicks Morgan in the face, only to get knocked out without much trouble.

Stratton kicks Perez out so everyone surrounds her, only to split off and start the brawls. Cargill and Belair have stereo gorilla presses and then drop Morgan and Lynch for the mega showdown (the fans approve). Naomi gets spinebustered by Cargill, who tosses Lynch and Naomi in quite the moment.

Morgan and Belair are sent to the apron, with Stratton being pulled out with them. A Codebreaker staggers Stratton but she grabs Belair’s hair for the save. Bayley kicks both of them out, leaving us with Bayley, Cargill and Morgan. They all wind up on the apron and Morgan eliminates Cargill, only to get kicked out by Bayley for the win at 1:04:57.

Rating: C+. This was only so interesting as there isn’t quite enough depth to get all the way to thirty entrants in this kind of thing. The top spots were good with Bayley getting a long awaited win, but other than that there were some long stretches which were needing something better. Get rid of some of the dead spots in the middle and it’s better, but this only got so far.

Come to St. Petersburg!

We recap the four way for the Smackdown World Title. Roman Reigns pinned LA Knight about two years ago so now Knight, Randy Orton and AJ Styles want the title.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending. We get a long staredown to start before all of the challengers go after Reigns in a smart move. Styles and Knight get in a fight of their own though, leaving Orton and Reigns to brawl out to the floor. Knight and Styles join them, with Knight sending Styles face first into the announcers’ table. Orton drops Reigns onto the same table and then goes after Knight as it’s time to switch off.

Knight gets the better of things, only to miss a charge and get dropped onto the table for a big crash. Orton takes Reigns back inside for the circle stomp before stopping to powerslam Styles. Knight is back in to stomp Orton down though as the back and forth start continues. Orton and Styles go outside, leaving Reigns to clothesline Knight in the corner. Reigns drops Styles as well and the fans certainly seem to approve.

It’s Knight getting back up with a DDT to Reigns and a slam to Orton, setting up a middle rope bulldog. The jumping superplex brings Styles back down and there’s the BFT to Reigns to get the crowd up again, only for Styles to make the save. Styles fights up and strikes away with the Styles Clash hitting Reigns for two and Knight making the save this time. Back up and Reigns tries the Superman Punch but Orton RKOs him out of the air in a sweet counter for another near fall, with Solo Sikoa pulling the referee out.

Sikoa isn’t done as he Samoan Spikes Orton and Knight before stacking Knight onto Orton (which doesn’t seem overly bright). The running Umaga Attack against the barricade misses Styles though and Sikoa is down. Styles comes back in with a Phenomenal Forearm to knock Reigns onto the other two before getting a triple cover for two, even though that normally means the first person getting a cover (Knight in this case) wins.

Styles grabs a chair and beats on Reigns, then does the same to Knight. Orton breaks that up with a low blow but gets speared out to the floor. Knight goes after Reigns but the BFT is broken up, which breaks up the Styles Clash as well. With Knight down, the spear to Styles retains the title at 19:24.

Rating: B. Rather nice stuff here with everyone going in there and trying hard, with the time flying by. Reigns winning wasn’t exactly in doubt with a milestone Wrestlemania on the horizon, but at least he had to put in the work to get there. If nothing else, it’s nice to see the other three getting a chance, as it has been awhile for most of them.

We recap Logan Paul defending the US Title against Kevin Owens. Paul is the rather braggadocios US Champion while Owens is here o shut him up. They’ve taken turns attacking each other and Paul has injured Owens’ hands.

United States Title: Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Paul is defending and offers a handshake but Owens chops him down instead. They’re quickly on the floor and Owens sends him hard into the barricade. Back in and a rather big chop sets up a release German suplex, meaning it’s time to go back outside. Owens drops a backsplash but Paul gets smart by going after the bad hand. Back in again and a high crossbody takes Owens down.

An armbar goes on but Owens elbows his way out of an Octopus. With nothing else working, Paul goes simple by punching Owens’ bad hand. Paul misses a 619 though, allowing Owens to hit a hard clothesline. Another backsplash hits raised knees though, as I continue to love watching someone learn during a match. Back up and Owens stomps away in the corner, setting up a pair of Cannonballs. The frog splash connects but a Swanton hits Paul’s raised knees.

Paul misses a Swanton of his own though, only to hit a Buckshot Lariat. A frog splash gives Paul two but he tries a superplex, which you just do not do to Owens. The swinging superplex gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Paul’s big right hand drops Owens for a near fall and now it’s Paul’s turn to be shocked.

One of Paul’s goons tries to bring in some brass knuckles but the referee cuts it off and has said goon ejected. Cue A-Town Down Under for a distraction though and Paul gets the brass knuckles…which Owens takes away and uses to knock Paul out. The referee sees said knuckles though (McAfee: Oh NOW the referee has 20/20!”) and that’s a DQ at 14:01.

Rating: B. It was a good fight and there is something to be said about a bit of a twist ending rather than Paul just getting the pin. If nothing else, Owens is at his best when he’s upset about something and the ending should fit in well. Paul gets to keep bragging about being champion too and that is good for just about everyone. Well mainly Paul but you get the idea.

Post match Owens puts Paul through the announcers’ table. Then he takes a cough drop.

Hulk Hogan really wants you to come to St. Petersburg.

Elimination Chamber is in Australia.

Wrestlemania is in 70 days.

The attendance is 48,044, a new stadium record. Uh, yay.

Rumble By The Numbers!

30 entrants
1,310 entrants
34 winners
2.6% have won
20 have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania
1 woman to enter at #1 and win
20 eliminations for Ripley all time, a record
1:01:08, Ripley’s record time in the Rumble
1:11:40, Gunther’s record time in the Rumble
60% of the winners have come from the last ten entrants
#30 has produced the most winners (5)
3 who have won consecutive Royal Rumbles
3 wins for Steve Austin, a record
3rd time Tampa will host the Royal Rumble (1995/2021)
8 eliminations for Shayna Baszler, the most in a single women’s match
9 two time winners
13 eliminations in one men’s Rumble by Brock Lesnar
Natalya is one of four women to compete in all women’s Rumbles
45 eliminations by Kane over 18 Rumbles, both records
3,653 days since CM Punk has been in a Royal Rumble
34,000,000 social media engagements for the Logan Paul vs. Ricochet clip from last year
9 people have won their first World Title off a Royal Rumble win
60% of winners from the last five years have won the World Title at Wrestlemania

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Jey Uso is in at #1 and Jimmy Uso is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Jimmy is punched out to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination as Jimmy is back in to strike away, but the jumping enziguri misses. Jey superkicks Jimmy down but the Superfly Splash hits raised knees to leave them both needing a breather. Grayson Waller is in at #3 and naturally he runs his mouth about how awesome he is. Jey knocks him of the apron before he can get in, only to come in and team up with Jimmy for some double teaming.

Andrade returns at #4 and cleans house (or as much as you can with two heels in the ring) but can’t get rid of anyone. Carmelo Hayes is in at #5 and we get a three way staredown with Hayes, Andrade and Jey. That’s broken up and Hayes gets rid of Waller without much effort. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #6 and the fans sing his song. Jimmy seems to approve and gets kicked in the head as a result. The freshly heel Santos Escobar is in at #7 and we get straight to a showdown with Andrade. They hug and pose but Andrade isn’t interested in a Legado del Fantasma pose.

Karrion Kross is in at #8 and everyone goes to the general brawling. With that not going anywhere, Dominik Mysterio is in at #9 and the fans are not happy. It takes a good while for him to get in and he is quickly taken into a corner for some not so near eliminations. Carlito is in at #10, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Andrade, Hayes, Nakamura, Escobar, Kross, Mysterio and Carlito at the one third mark. Carlito goes after Escobar who bails to the floor, leaving Carlito to load up the apple. Escobar gets it in the face and is then tossed out to clear some of the ring.

Bobby Lashley is in at #11 and starts throwing some not great looking spears. One of them is enough to get rid of Kross so here are the AOP for a distraction, allowing Kross to pull Lashley out for the elimination. The big bawl is on with the Street Profits running out to even things up. They all go up the aisle and brawl to the back as Ludwig Kaiser is in at #12. He goes after Dominik for a bit of a weird one and everyone pairs off until Austin Theory is in at #13. The flipping Downward Spiral plants Jey and more brawling ensues as we need someone to clear the ring a bit.

Finn Balor is in at #14 and Hayes is tossed in a hurry. Cody Rhodes is in at #15 and this should pick things up a bit. The Cody Cutter gets rid of Theory but Balor takes Rhodes down and they slug it out. Bronson Reed is in at #16 and gets rid of Andrade. Nakamura and Rhodes slug it out with Nakamura hitting a spinning kick to the face as Kofi Kingston is in at #17. A Disaster Kick and Cross Rhodes get rid of Nakamura and Kaiser is out shortly thereafter.

Gunther is in at #18 and chopping ensues, setting up the staredown with Gunther. That’s broken up and Kingston gets Gunther out to the apron, earning Kingston an elimination (no special save this time). Ivar is in a #19 and hits a powerslam, setting up the slugout with Reed. NXT’s Bron Breakker is in at #20, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Mysterio, Balor, Rhodes, Reed, Gunther, Ivar and Breakker.

A spear immediately hits Jimmy and a running clothesline gets rid of him. Another spear gets rid of Balor and it’s time for Gunther vs. Breakker, which has the fans’ interest. Gunther slips out of the gorilla press but Breakker gives him the spear to quite the reaction. Omos is in at #21 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring. House is quickly cleaned and Reed is knocked out with a big boot. Breakker spears a springboarding Ivar out of the air and gets rid of him before staring up at Omos.

Pat McAfee is in at #22 and looks more than a bit surprised at the news. He sees Omos and Breakker waiting on him and eliminates himself in a funny moment. McAfee has claimed that he didn’t know this was coming and I’d believe it. McAfee: “HOW BIG IS THAT THING IN THERE????” Breakker dumps Omos and Mysterio knocks Breakker out (after a star making performance), with Cole and Graves making up trash talk that Breakker said about Omos.

JD McDonagh is in at #23 and gets speared by Breakker on the floor before he can get in. Cody and Gunther fight some more as R-Truth is in at #24 (the same number he entered the women’s match in for a nice touch). He throws McDonagh in so McDonagh can be properly eliminated, only to stand on the apron or a tag to Mysterio. Naturally Mysterio tags him in (because) and he goes after Omos to little avail.

Miz is in at #25 for an Awesome Truth reunion but Truth saves Mysterio. Gunther breaks that up and Mysterio gives Miz a 619 as Damian Priest is in at #26. Truth is out in a hurry and Priest cleans house, including South Of Heaven to Gunther. CM Punk is in at #27 and gets to do a bunch of running knees in the corner. Mysterio is tossed but Priest decks Punk with a discus forearm.

Ricochet is in at #28 and gets to fly around a bit as Gunther tosses Miz. Drew McIntyre is in at #29 to make things a bit bigger. A bit of house is cleaned, including a heck of an overhead belly to belly to Ricochet. Jey superkicks Gunther almost to the apron but gets pulled out himself to end a rather long run. Sami Zayn is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Rhodes, Gunther, Priest, Punk, Ricochet, McIntyre and Zayn. The pace picks up as Zayn goes after McIntyre, who recently beat him up pretty badly.

Priest avoids being tossed out but Ricochet can’t do the same as we’re down to six. A variety of suplexes and kicks ensue until Sami gets rid of Priest, only to be dumped by McIntyre. We’re down to Rhodes, Punk, Gunther and McIntyre and everyone needs a breather as Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns watch from a sky box. Gunther and Rhodes pair off as McIntyre chops away at Punk in the corner.

The Cody Cutter seems to wake Gunther up as he hits a hard clothesline to Rhodes. We get the McIntyre vs. Gunther staredown but they go back to what they were doing instead of fighting. A neckbreaker puts Punk down but the Claymore misses. The GTS is blocked and it’s the Glasgow Kiss to drop Punk again. Gunther sleepers Rhodes but gets Claymored by McIntyre. Another Claymore hits Rhodes and McIntyre is the only one standing.

There’s a Claymore to Punk to complete the set but McIntyre would rather yell at Punk than get him out. That’s enough for Punk to toss McIntyre, who looks absolutely crushed. Gunther dropkicks Punk and gives him a powerbomb before sending Rhodes to the apron. Rhodes pulls Gunther to the apron as well though and Gunther is out, leaving us with two. They slug it out and then slug it out some more with Punk getting the better of things.

Rhodes gets in a powerslam but the Cody Cutter is countered into some rolling German suplexes. That’s broken up but so is Cross Rhodes, allowing Punk to put him on the apron. Back in and Cross Rhodes connects, only for Punk to get in a desperation GTS. Punk gets him out to the apron but Rhodes is right back in, meaning it’s a Pedigree to take him down again. Another GTS is blocked though and Rhodes throws him out for the win at 1:08:16.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a Rumble with some entertaining spots throughout and a bunch of good stuff. The last bit felt epic and, despite Punk’s big injury (as he tore his tricep while fighting McIntyre), the final two had a heck of a showdown. Cody winning is the right call as he is on the way to his destiny in Philadelphia and he had to get there from here. I liked this one a lot as they kept things moving and I wasn’t bored at all.

Rhodes celebrates for a good while and points at Roman Reigns in the sky box (yeah don’t bother teasing that Rollins stuff as there is zero point in this case). Reigns holds up the title and looks a bit nervous.

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. The Women’s Royal Rumble was the only thing close to a weak spot and even then it was good enough. The rest of the show was one hit after another as we are starting to get exactly what we need out of WWE. I liked this a good bit and you can feel the energy around here, which is rather nice to see. Heck of a show here, with Wrestlemania on the horizon as the really big prize.

Ratings Comparison

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Original: B
Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B+

I totally shortchanged the Men’s Royal Rumble the first time around as it’s way better than that.

 

 

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