Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.

We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.

On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.

Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.

Everyone brawls up the aisle.

We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.

WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.

Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.

Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.

Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.

The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.

Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.

The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.

Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.

Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.

Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.

Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.

A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.

Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.

The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.

We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.

Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.

Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.

Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49^th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.

They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.

There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.

Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.

Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.

Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.

Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.

Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This is probably the most famous of all the Summerslams even to this day as we’re not only outside but for the first and only time ever, a regular PPV is being held in England. It’s another double main event tonight with Savage vs. Warrior for Savage’s world title, along with Davey Boy Smith challenging Bret for the Intercontinental Title. This show was originally going to be held in Washington D.C. with Shawn winning the title from Bret in the first ladder match but the change was made very close to the date of the show. Let’s get to it.

Also note that this is on a two day tape delay, which you would NEVER see for a PPV today.

For reasons I’m not quite clear on, nearly every version of this show you can find online has the dark matches included, so you’re getting some bonus stuff tonight.

We open with kids arguing over whether Warrior or Savage sold out to Perfect and Flair. Another kid says British Bulldog is going to win whether he likes it or not.

Heenan puts on a crown and declares himself Sir Bobby, King of England.

Dark Match: Nasty Boys/Moutnie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

The aisle to the ring is REALLY long so the entrances take extra time this year. Duggan is so beloved that he can get a USA chant going in London. Both teams take turns playing to the crowd before we get going. It’s a big brawl to start with the heels being rammed together in the middle of the ring before rolling to the outside. We finally start with Knobbs vs. Luke but everything breaks down almost immediately with the heels running away.

Things finally settle down with Sags clotheslining Butch down….and everything breaks down a third time in less than five minutes. Duggan sends the Bushwhackers into the corner with the battering ram to all three heels at once to fire up the crowd even more. The Nasties and Mountie are whipped into clotheslines from Duggan but a Jimmy Hart distraction finally lets the heels jump Luke from behind to take over.

The fans chant USA as Mountie hits a jumping back elbow to take down the New Zealander Luke. The Nasties choke away in the corner as Vince is freaking out over the rules being broken this badly. Sags and Mountie both hook reverse chinlocks as the classic six man tag formula is in full effect. Knobbs comes in for a hard whip into the corner but a middle rope splash hits boot. The hot tag brings in Duggan to clean house with clothesline after clothesline. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Battering Ram, the three point clothesline and a missed top rope elbow from Sags to Mountie for the pin by Duggan.

Rating: C+. This was an extended but nicely done tag match. The fans were WAY into Duggan and the pop for the win was a nice response for a dark match. I was surprised by how well this match worked. Most dark matches just drag along and are nothing but rest holds and punching/kicking but this went nearly thirteen minutes and never got dull.

Dark Match: Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango

Shango used to scare me to death. Tito is El Matador so he has the awesome gold jacket. Papa jumps him from behind to take over and hits a splash in the corner to have the bullfighter in trouble. Tito comes back with some clotheslines and a dropkick to send Shango out to the floor. They head back inside where Tito gets two each off a middle rope clothesline and a cross body before hooking a sleeper.

Shango sends him into the buckle to escape as Heenan makes bull jokes about Tito. The voodoo guy keeps up the generic power offense by headbutting Santana down and walking around the ring. Santana avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his comeback but the flying forearm only gets two. Shango pops up and hits a shoulder breaker for the pin.

Rating: D. Shango was all character and no substance in the ring. This is a good example of what most dark matches are like: short, dull and nothing that I’ll remember in about five minutes. Santana was good in this kind of role as he makes everyone look good, although there was only so much he could do with a guy like Shango. Who knew the answer was to make the voodoo guy a pimp?

Dark Match: Tatanka vs. Berzerker

This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.

Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.

Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.

Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).

Ric Flair, in ring gear despite not being in action tonight, is happy to be in London. Gene asks him whose dressing room Mr. Perfect is in. “He’s in the dressing room of the winner of course. WOO!” Touche.

Virgil is ready for Nailz tonight.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

Nailz lays Virgil out with the nightstick post match.

Alfred Hayes can’t find Mr. Perfect, nor can he get into Macho Man’s dressing room.

We recap Shawn vs. Rick Martel. Shawn cost Martel an IC Title shot, so Martel started hitting on Shawn’s manager Sherri. Sherri then started coming out to support Martel, setting up the showdown tonight. However since Sherri thought both guys were handsome, she made the rule that there was to be no hitting in the face.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

This is the rare heel vs. heel match. Rick is dressed for tennis for some reason I don’t quite grasp. The back of Sherri’s dress is missing, sending Vince into a frenzy over the sight of a thong. Martel grabs a headlock to start and avoids a right hand before doing some jumping jacks. Shawn slides between Martel’s legs and takes over with a dropkick. Apparently dropkicks to the face are legal.

Martel misses a cross body and Shawn cranks on the arm to take over. They trade nip ups but neither guy can bring themselves to throw a punch. Instead Martel, playing the face in the match, sends Shawn over the top to Sherri’s feet. Rick heads to the floor and hugs Sherri who seems very pleased with both men. Back in and they trade rollups with handful of tights each, resulting in Shawn’s tights barely staying on.

Sweet Chin Music to the chest gets two for Shawn and a knee to Martel’s face gets two. Martel rolls him up as well and now they’re ready to fight. They trade slaps to draw Sherri up to the apron…..and she faints. The guys get in a fight over who gets to give her CPR with the fisticuffs breaking out, resulting in a double countout. Sherri pokes her head up to reveal she’s playing possum.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it was more of an angle than a match. Sherri would be gone soon after this which kept the story from going anywhere but the match here wasn’t terrible. Shawn would be launching through the roof soon after this by dominating the midcard for the next few years while Martel wouldn’t do much else in the company.

They fight up the aisle until suits break them up. Shawn carries Sherri out but Martel knocks him down, dropping Sherri to the floor in the process. Martel picks her up and carries her a few feet but Shawn decks Martel, knocking Sherri to the floor yet again. Martel finally runs out with a bucket of water to wake Sherri up.

The Nasty Boys talk about the world title match for some reason. They ask Jimmy about a title shot but Jimmy Hart, also the manager of Money Inc. is notably anxious, which is hinting at his face turn.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers

The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.

Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.

Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!

Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.

Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.

The Bushwhackers speculate on whose corner Perfect will be in. Gene Okerlund makes some very bad British jokes.

Hayes can’t get into the Warrior’s dressing room either. He tries to barge in and calls Warrior rude for locking the door. Even HEENAN points this out to him.

Repo Man vs. Crush

Repo tries to jump Crush but has no effect and earns himself a gorilla press slam. We head to the floor for a clothesline from Crush before heading back inside for some kicks to Repo’s ribs. Crush pounds on the ribs even more and hits a backbreaker, only to be poked in the eye to break the momentum. Repo hits a belly to back suplex but Crush no sells it and snaps off a belly to belly. A top rope knee drop misses and Repo goes after the knee with some very basic stuff. An elbow drop gets two and Crush easily fights up, catches Repo coming off the top in a powerslam and hooks the Head Vice for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash to make Crush look good. They were this close to making Crush the next big thing in 1993 so seeing him look good here isn’t surprising at all. Repo Man is really impressive as he went from Smash to the new gimmick so smoothly that I didn’t realize it was the same guy until years later.

We recap the world title match which is summed up in one question: who sold out? This was THE story of the summer as everyone was wondering if Savage would sell out to be able to beat the man that ended his career a year earlier or if Warrior sold out to guarantee his second WWF Title. Why both guys would want a manager who wasn’t even managing the world champion is anyone’s guess. Savage’s line of “I’m the WWF Champion and you’re not!” is great stuff.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

There’s no sign of Perfect or Flair with Warrior. Warrior is also in a singlet here instead of in his usual trunks. There’s no one with Savage either though, meaning we have to wait even longer to find out who sold out. Savage offers a handshake to start but Warrior accuses him of selling out and won’t shake. Scratch that as he does shake but they pull each other together and it’s on.

It’s a feeling out process to start with Savage shoving him away and hitting a knee to the ribs. A clothesline to the back of Warrior’s head puts him down as the fans are booing. Savage goes up top but Warrior punches him in the ribs to break up a double ax handle. A pair of atomic drops puts Randy down and some shoulder blocks do the same. Savage pounds away and hooks a chinlock, only for Warrior to break it up with a jawbreaker.

A bit right hand staggers the champion in the corner and Warrior stomps away for good measure. Warrior hits a clothesline but Savage ducks away, sending Warrior chest first into the buckle. The champion clotheslines him out to the floor for a bit before hitting the top rope ax handle back inside. It has no effect at all though as Warrior starts marching around the ring. Savage elbows him in the face to put him back down though and goes up again, only to dive into a backbreaker for two.

Warrior whips the champion hard into a corner a few times before putting on a bearhug. Instead of hanging onto it though he lets Savage go almost immediately and gets a two count. Another backbreaker gets two but Savage comes back with a small package for two of his own. A neckbreaker puts the challenger down but a delayed cover only gets two for Randy. Warrior comes back with a hard clothesline and starts pounding away on Savage’s weak back.

A suplex puts Savage down for a close two as the fans are getting into these near falls. Warrior charges at Savage but falls out to the floor by mistake. Randy goes up and drops yet another double ax onto Warrior’s back before sending him into the steps for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Savage but Warrior slams him down. Here are Flair and Perfect to ringside as Warrior’s splash hits knees.

Savage and Warrior clothesline each other down which gets two each for both guys. Randy is up first but Perfect trips him down, signaling that Warrior is the sellout. Back up and Warrior punches him down before choking Savage into the corner. Warrior throws Savage into the corner again but the referee is bumped in the process. A slam puts Savage down and Warrior goes up top for a right hand to the head, although there’s no referee.

The referee finally comes over to count the two and Warrior is visibly frustrated. Back up and Savage hits a knee to send Warrior into the referee again before hitting a piledriver on the Ultimate one. There’s no referee again though so Savage goes to check on him. As Randy is out on the floor, Flair and Perfect take out Warrior behind Savage’s back. Randy drops the big elbow but the referee isn’t there in time for a count. Flair and Perfect are huddling on the floor.

Warrior starts his comeback with Savage pounding away on his back but to no effect. He runs over Savage with clotheslines and the flying shoulder block before loading up the gorilla press. Savage is in big trouble but as Warrior sets up the splash, Flair hits him in the back with a chair. Note that Savage didn’t see what Flair did.

Savage doesn’t know what to do now but he realizes Flair and Perfect did something. The champion goes up top but he isn’t sure. Instead of dropping the elbow though he dives at Flair, but gets knocked out of the air by a chair shot, injuring Savage’s knee in the process. Savage is counted out but retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was another really good match between the two and a great rematch from their first classic a year and a half earlier at Wrestlemania 7. The idea of having someone turn was a great incentive to watch the show, and having neither guy do the turn was the right move. The ending of the match is important soon after this.

Post match Flair puts Savage in the Figure Four with Perfect adding in more shots to the leg. Warrior finally saves Savage with a chair and helps him to his feet.

The official attendance is announced.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala was Undertaker’s Monster of the Month at this point and is managed by Harvey Whippelman. Undertaker rides to the ring on the back of a hearse to kill even more time. Taker fires off uppercuts to start and chokes away in the corner before avoiding a charging Ugandan. Harvey breaks up Old School but Kamala can’t hurt Taker at all. He clotheslines the dead man to the floor but Taker no sells everything Kamala throws at him. Back inside and Taker easily chokeslams him down and hits the Tombstone but Kamala’s other manager Kim Chee comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as it was setting up the coffin match at Survivor Series. This was during the bad period for Undertaker as he fought a bunch of monsters with no particular rhyme or reason. Kamala was nothing special and spent most of his career trying to be intimidating but getting destroyed every time.

Post match Kim Chee helps Kamala lay Undertaker out and the big man hits a top rope splash to Undertaker, but the Dead Man pops up a few seconds later.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker happened here.

British Bulldog talks about fighting hard for two years to reach this point. Yes Bret is the Champion and his brother in law but when they get in the ring together, Bret is a stranger to him. He hopes the families reunite after the match but he’ll be the champion.

Bret says that Davey might not know him but he can look Bret in the eye and see the man that got Smith his start in the company. This is a total heel promo from Bret, which is the right move given where they are tonight. Tonight, Smith’s dream becomes a nightmare.

Here are some Highlanders playing the bagpipes. Their featured performer: Roddy Piper of course.

Diana Hart-Smith, Bret’s sister and Davey’s wife, will be neutral tonight. She just wants them to get along after the match.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith

Bulldog has British Commonwealth boxing champion Lennox Lewis leading him to the ring and carrying the Union Jack. The place comes unglued for Davey but Bret isn’t booed at all, as his style is perfect for a crowd like this. Bulldog shoves him into the corner to start before hitting a hard shoulder to send the champion to the floor. Back in and they head to the mat with Bret grabbing a headlock to take over. Bret gets a few near falls off some rollups and it’s right back to the headlock.

Back up again and Davey grabs a hammerlock but Bret hits a HARD elbow to the face to escape, drawing the ire of the fans. Davey takes him down with basic technique and cranks on the armbar. The hold stays on for a good while with the fans getting louder and louder the longer Smith has control. Bret finally sends him into the ropes to escape and drives a knee into Smith’s ribs. The fans boo Hart out of the stadium for a basic move like a knee and boo even louder for a chinlock.

An atomic drop (called a reverse piledriver by Vince) puts Smith down and Bret blocks a crucifix (which worked earlier) in a Samoan Drop for two. Another chinlock is quickly broken but Davey charges into a boot in the corner to put him down again. A bulldog puts Bulldog down but he slams Bret off the top a second later. Davey misses a top rope splash and is sent to the outside, drawing a ton of heat for Bret.

The champion tries a dive to the floor but lands on Davey’s back, nearly breaking several bones in the process. Bret sends him into the post before heading back inside pounding away with European uppercuts. Hart hooks a chinlock for a good while before loading up the Five Moves of Doom. He pulls Bulldog up by the hair to show how evil he is and it’s off to a sleeper. This stays on for a LONG time as well but Smith rams him into the corner to escape again.

They slug it out but Davey drops him out of a gorilla press into the ropes. Three straight clotheslines get two for Smith and a gorilla press gets the same. The delayed vertical and the chest first bump into the buckle get the same. Bulldog hits his powerslam finisher but Bret gets out at two, with far less of a reaction from the crowd than you would expect. Bret rolls through a suplex for two of his own, only to get superplexed down for a near fall.

Back up again and a double clothesline puts both guys down, giving the fans a needed breather. While laying on his back Bret hooks the Sharpshooter ala last year against Mr. Perfect, terrifying the fans. Smith gets the rope so Bret tries a suplex, but Davey drops to his knees and hooks both legs for the pin and the title. The place ERUPTS on the three count.

Rating: A+. This took awhile to get going but once those near falls started it turns into an instant classic. Davey had to win here and it was a perfectly clean pin in the middle of the ring. Bret, ever the critic, doesn’t like this match and basically blames the whole thing on Smith for being spent five minutes in. Those of us in the real world see it for what it is: a masterpiece.

Bret, Davey and Diana embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a show where the matches don’t add up to the whole rating. The thing to remember is this show is less than three hours (not counting dark matches which I don’t count towards the show’s rating) and nearly an hour of that is spent on two great matches. The rest of the bad stuff is pretty short and the two main events more than make up for it. This is easily the best Summerslam so far and one of the best ever. Check this out if you’ve somehow never seen it.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

Redo: C+

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

Redo: D

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

Redo: F

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: B+

I was WAY too nice to this show the first time. It’s great but it’s not THAT great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/26/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1992-a-tape-delayed-ppv-yes-really/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.

We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”

Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.

Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.

Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.

Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.

Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.

Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.

Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.

Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.

Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.

Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”

Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.

Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 1989
Date: August 28, 1989
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

We’re back with another edition of the show with another tag team main event. This time it’s the now heel Savage teaming with an actor named Zeus to face Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. This isn’t even the blowoff match between the teams which makes the match even more of an odd choice. The other major match tonight is Rick Rude defending the Intercontinental Title against Ultimate Warrior, the man he stole the title from back at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Jesse blames Tony for having Heenan run off the air. I have no idea what he’s talking about as Heenan is on the show later tonight.

We get an intro video similar to the opening of a regular TV show with various highlights and people enjoying the warm weather.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) won the tag titles a few weeks before this show, but since the match was already signed this is non-title. Why it wasn’t changed to a title match is beyond me but there’s no way this won’t be awesome. Heenan is with the Brain Busters here, making what Jesse said even more confusing. Bret and Tully get things going with Hart going straight for the arm. Arn comes in to take Bret to the mat with a headlock, only to have Bret crank on his arm as well.

A hammerlock slam puts Arn in a cute bit before it’s off to Neidhart for some powerful cranking on the arm. The Harts change two more times and both guys get to crank on the arm before Bret puts on an armbar. Arn slips out and brings in Tully who has his own arm pulled on by Anvil. Blanchard pulls on the beard to escape but can’t hiptoss the big man over. Back to Bret for more arm work before Anvil sneaks in without a tag. It’s only cheating if you get caught remember.

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Everything breaks down again with the Brain Busters being knocked out to the floor once again. Back in and Bret sends Tully’s face into Anvil’s boot before bringing Neidhart again. Things break down again but Bret accidentally whips Jim into the buckle to give the Busters control. Arn drives a middle rope elbow into Neidhart’s back before it’s back to Tully for a reverse chinlock. Neidhart picks him up but Tully makes another blind tag off to Anderson to block a tag.

Arn punches him down but Anvil LAUNCHES Anderson off at two. Back up and both guys collide before Bret gets in a knee to Arn’s back to give Neidhart a breather. The hot tag brings in Hart vs. Blanchard with Bret dropping the middle rope elbow for no cover. Everything breaks down for the third or fourth time tonight with Bret being whipped into Tully to put both guys down.

Arn and Jim go to the floor but Bret slingshots Jim over the top into a shoulder block to Tully. Anvil powerslams Bret onto Blanchard but Anderson hits an ax handle to Bret’s head for the pin (while covering his head so the referee doesn’t see it’s Arn in the ring because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you).

Rating: B. I could watch Arn Anderson matches all day because of stuff like that at the end. I mean, who would think of such a little thing like that at the end of a match? This was a very solid opener but again I have no idea why the titles weren’t on the line here, especially if the Busters were going to go over by pin. The Harts wouldn’t even be a factor in the title scene for another year and even then they were big underdogs.

Dusty Rhodes talks about how the man in the blue suede shoes told him he can dance better than the Honky Tonk Man. This is a bit of a step down from Hard Times.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Dusty recently stole the Boss Man’s hat and nightstick after debuting early in the summer. We start with a dance off before Dusty takes him into the corner for a clean break. Honky bails to the floor to avoid the Bionic Elbow but comes back in for Dusty to grab his arm. Instead of driving an elbow into the shoulder though, Dusty messes with Honky’s hair to really get on his nerves. An atomic drop and the Bionic Elbow put Honky down with Dusty in full control.

Ten right hands in the corner drop Honky to the mat and it’s off to Dusty’s totally lame leg lock (meaning he stands there and turns Honky’s foot) fills in some time. Honky fires off some right hands but drops down to avoid a running Dusty. Jimmy Hart trips Dusty up and Honky just lays on the mat instead of going after Rhodes as Jimmy is stalked. Honky gets Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Dusty’s ribs and finally takes over with a chinlock.

It’s the long form version as we’re still in the hold about two minutes later. Dusty fights up and misses an elbow so it’s back to the chinlock. Rhodes fights up again and pounds away with right hands but Honky sends him into the referee to make this match go even further. Jimmy accidentally knocks Honky silly with the guitar and Dusty drops a big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this deserved ten minutes should be carried into the street and shot. Between the leg lock and the WAY too long chinlock, this could have been cut in half and nothing would have been lost. Honky was fine as a jobber to the stars at this point and he would maintain that position for months to come. This was way overbooked for what it was worth, but the fans loved Dusty which is the point of the match.

Honky asks someone to help him find the stage and wants to know where Priscilla is.

Demolition and King Hacksaw Jim Duggan are ready for their six man tag against the Twin Towers (Boss Man/Akeem) and Andre the Giant.

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Perfect is still perfect at this point. They shove each other around to start until Hperfect shoves him down and hits a hiptoss. Things speed up a bit with both guys running the ropes and Perfect trying a slam. Rooster slips down the back and tries a slam of his own but can’t get Perfect up in a weird spot. Perfect sends him to the floor for a second and pounds away back inside, only to be shoved to the floor by Rooster. Perfect wins a quick slugout on the floor before going inside for the PerfectPlex and a very fast pin.

Rating: D. This was very odd with the match finishing out of nowhere after no build at all. The match had to be cut for time or maybe an injury because there’s no way this was the match they were planning. Or maybe they didn’t have time because we needed Dusty to have an even longer chinlock. These two are capable of having a far better match though and did many times.

Survivor Series is coming.

We go to Gene with Rude and Heenan in the back but the set falls down and the interview never stars. They try it again and the heels say they’ll do whatever it takes to keep the title.

The Rockers/Tito Santana vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers/Rick Martel

This should be awesome. Martel teases getting in there against Tito to start but sends Jacques in instead. As is his custom, Jacques requests a handshake but sneaks in some choking on Tito instead. The Rockers come in without tags and the good guys hit stereo dropkicks to send the French Canadians to the floor. Things settle down to Marty vs. Jacques with the latter going to the middle rope and head faking Marty, but Jannetty is faking the head fake and punches Jacques on the way down.

The advantage is short lived though as Ray Rougeau gets in a knee to the back from the apron and a kind of superkick to put Marty down. Off to Martel for right hands and some dancing followed by a cartwheel out of the corner. Marty is tired of the dancing and dropkicks Martel down but Rick runs away from the charging Tito. Instead it’s Santana putting a headlock on Ray before getting two off a clothesline.

Much like his brother did earlier, Jacques interferes for Ray and the Rougeaus take over on Santana with a double back elbow. Martel comes in to pound on the weakened Tito like a true weasel. Rick stomps away against the ropes as the fans are getting angrier and angrier at the Model. Jacques comes in again and hooks a front facelock to block the hot tag. Back to Martel but Tito fires off right hands to send the crowd into a frenzy. Jacques quickly pulls Tito’s hair to break it up but Tito gets a sunset flip for two.

Rick puts Tito down with a backbreaker and Ray hooks a Boston crab to stay on the weakened back. Back to Jacques for an abdominal stretch with a helping hand from Martel on the apron. Rick comes in again to break up another hot tag attempt and Ray stops Tito’s comeback just like Jacques did earlier. Tito hits a quick cross body for two and the Rockers finally come in to break up the interference. Ray comes in to keep Tito down but Jacques’ flying knee hits his brother, FINALLY allowing Tito to make the hot tag to Shawn.

Martel tries to hide in the corner but gets caught in a huge backdrop to send him running even further. A dropkick and a suplex put Martel down and the top rope right hand gets two as everything breaks down. Tito hits the flying forearm to send Martel to the floor and Marty rolls up Jacques, only to have Martel slide back in and blast Jannetty with a right hand, giving Jacques the pin.

Rating: B. Take six guys and two feuds, give them fifteen minutes in front of a hot crowd and witness the awesome. That’s exactly what happened here and the crowd got WAY into it, especially the Martel vs. Santana stuff. Those two just started feuding a few months before this and people were drooling to see Tito get his revenge. Really solid old school six man tag here which worked exceptionally well.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior. Rude attacked Warrior during a posedown at the Rumble before stealing the IC Title at Wrestlemania with help from Heenan. Tonight is the rematch with rude defending against a ticked off Warrior after Warrior spent months fighting through the Heenan Family. This was also used to set up Warrior vs. Andre the Giant over the winter.

Warrior rants about Andre before saying he’ll get his title back from Rude.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Rude isn’t sure what to do with Warrior to start so he tries punching him in the face to no avail. A clothesline puts Rude on the apron and a sunset flip is easily blocked with a right hand to the champion’s face. Warrior easily picks him up and gorilla presses him to the floor as this is one sided so far. Rude is sent into the barricade as Jesse is losing his mind over the referee not disqualifying Warrior.

Warrior gets two off a top rope ax handle before throwing him into the corner and pounding away. A shoulder block gets two on Rude and there’s an atomic drop to crush Rude’s spine a bit more. Warrior swivels his hips but gets crotched on the top rope to Jesse’s glee. Rude pounds on the back as he did in the Wrestlemania match and gets two off a suplex. Off to a reverse chinlock with Rude dropping down onto Warrior’s back for good measure. Back up and Warrior breaks up the Rude Awakening but gets caught in a sleeper.

Warrior finally fights out with a jawbreaker but after they run the ropes a bit, Rude sends Warrior into the referee to put everyone down. It’s Rude on his feet first but Warrior starts to Hulk Up to a HUGE reaction. A big backdrop and a clothesline put Rude down followed by a powerslam but there’s no referee. Warrior hits a piledriver but the referee crawls over for two. A powerslam sets up the splash but Rude gets his knees up to slow Warrior down again.

Rude hits a kind of powerbomb (basically driving Warrior’s head into the mat) for a close two as things slow down again. Rude hits a top rope right hand to the jaw as Roddy Piper strolls down. A piledriver puts Warrior down but Piper flashes Rude, allowing Warrior to suplex him out of the corner. Warrior hits a quick shoulder block followed by the gorilla press and splash for the title and an ERUPTION from the crowd.

Rating: B. If there has ever been better chemistry between a talented guy and a guy who could barely survive against anyone else, I’m not sure where it is. Warrior looked great out there and got the win back to conclude a very well done feud. Good stuff here as this show is cooking after a somewhat weak start. That pop for Warrior pretty much gave him the world title right then and there.

Mr. Perfect says he’s perfect.

Roddy Piper laughs about costing Rude the title, setting up his first feud after returning to the ring.

Ronnie Garvin is in a tuxedo and gets to be a guest announcer tonight. Heenan comes in to interrupt him and rants about Piper coming to the ring and costing Rude the title. Rude isn’t pleased either and yells as you would expect him to.

We go to an intermission, which is just a graphic with a countdown clock until the show continues.

We recap the main event tag match. Hogan was in a movie with Tiny Lister portraying the villain. The idea of the story is that Lister’s character Zeus felt that he could beat Hogan in Hogan’s real life job so he beat up Hogan before a cage match. This would be like Harrison Ford picking a fight with Mark Hamill because of what Hamill did on the Millennium Falcon. I don’t know if we were supposed to take it seriously or not, but the main problem here is obvious: Zeus is an actor instead of a wrestler, meaning there isn’t much he can do in the ring.

Savage and Beefcake got involved to make it a tag match so Zeus didn’t fight alone. Hogan couldn’t hurt Zeus with a chair to the back but raking the eyes had an effect, giving Hogan an opening tonight. Savage was still a big deal at this point so this really was a big heel team to face Hogan and Beefcake. We get full clips of these moments as the intermission continues.

Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan

Duggan is King of the WWF and has his face painted like Demolition but is rocking an American flag pattern of course. Akeem starts with the King with Duggan absorbing the trash talk and pounding away on the big man before it’s off to Ax for some pounding on the arm. Smash comes in and Demolition pounds Akeem down before bringing Duggan back in to crank on the arm as well.

Akeem finally gets in a shot to Ax’s ribs and it’s off to Boss Man who is immediately pounded down by the fresh Smash. Boss Man rakes the eyes to slow Smash down but Smash rakes the eyes right back in a good bit. Ax comes in again and cranks on the arm but gets sent into the wrong corner so Andre can come in and pound away with big right hands.

Akeem comes back in but misses a slow motion splash, allowing for the hot tag back to Smash who slams Akeem down in an impressive power display. Everything breaks down and Akeem hits a bottom rope splash on Smash, but Duggan hits Akeem in the back with the 2×4 to give Smash the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but for above seven and a half minutes with these six guys, this was as good as you were going to get. Duggan was about as big as he was going to get in the WWF at this point as the fans were WAY into his Hogan-Lite character. Demolition was fresh off losing the tag titles but but they were still the most popular tag team in the company. Good, fun little match here which was much better than I was expecting.

Ted DiBiase says he’ll beat Jimmy Snuka because he’s cultured and Snuka is a savage.

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Ronnie Garvin is guest ring announcer after being fired from being a referee. He takes a ton of shots at Valentine (“Weighing in at 249lbs…..but he looks about 30lbs heavier and wears a robe with cheap rhinestones.”) since Valentine got him suspended in the first place. Hercules jumps Valentine to start and powerslams him down for two. A quick rollup gets two for Greg before they head to the floor for nothing of note. Back in and Valentine pounds him down with some elbows but the Figure Four is broken up. Hecules suplexes him down but gets rolled up with Valentine’s feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Rating: D. This was all about furthering Garvin vs. Valentine with the stuff before the match and a bit we’ll get to in a second. I’m no Garvin fan at all but this was an amusing angle given where you could turn your brain off and laugh at some stupid jokes for a few minutes every show. There’s nothing wrong with comic relief and having a talented guy like Valentine out there made it a bit easier to sit through.

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Randy Savage, Zeus and Sister Sherri gather round a cauldron and predict bad futures for Hogan, Beefcake and Liz. The late 80s were weird in case you were wondering.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

No story here as they’re just out there to fill in a few minutes before the main event. Snuka headbutts DiBiase to the floor before the bell and avoids a charging Ted to send him into Virgil for a big crash. An atomic drop sends DiBiase to the floor and the match slows down a bit. Back in and Snuka can’t get high enough for his reverse leapfrog so he sends DiBiase into the corner to keep control. Ted goes to the eyes to get a moment’s breather but gets caught by a shoulder to put him back down.

A quick stun gun sends Snuka into the top rope and Ted can stomp away like a good 80s heel. DiBiase works on the back with knees to the spine and a backbreaker for no cover but a middle rope elbow misses. Jimmy slams Ted down and hits a middle rope headbutt but Virgil breaks up the Superfly Splash. Snuka chases him around on the floor but gets sent into the post by DiBiase for the countout.

Rating: D. Another lame match here and I’m not sure why DiBiase couldn’t get a pin. Either way, the match was there to give the fans a breather from that EPIC Hercules vs. Valentine heat before the main event. Snuka was still a fan favorite so having him out there wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

Post match Snuka hits the Superfly on Virgil.

Hogan and Beefcake talk about riding motorcycles across a river (just go with it) with Liz riding on the back of Hogan’s bike. Savage and Zeus weren’t mentioned at all.

Genius recites a poem about Summerslam, saying he thinks Zeus and Savage (his real brother) will win.

Zeus/Randy Savage vs. Brutus Beefcake/Hulk Hogan

Before we get going, Liz gets her own full entrance as the secret weapon. It’s a brawl to start but Hogan can’t hurt Zeus. He goes to the eyes but can’t slam Zeus down so the monster chokes Hulk down. Beefcake tries to dive on Zeus but gets caught in midair. Now it’s a bearhug on Hogan but here’s Savage off a tag. Why in the world would you change when you had Hogan in trouble like that? A top rope ax handle gets two for Randy and it’s off to the sleeper.

Hogan elbows out of it and hits some shoulder blocks but Zeus knees him in the back to slow him down. Back to Zeus for another bearhug which takes Hogan down to the mat for some two counts. It’s back to Savage to snap Hogan’s throat over the top rope and a suplex gets two. Savage misses some elbow drops and there’s the hot tag to Beefcake. A high knee gets two on Savage and Beefcake hooks his sleeper. Savage rams him into the middle buckle and it’s off to Zeus, but Brutus puts him in a sleeper as well.

Randy breaks up the hold with Sherri’s loaded purse but he suckers Hogan into the ring instead of covering. Hogan stops Savage from attacking Liz but Beefcake is still in big trouble. Back to Zeus for some choking on Beefcake until the referee makes the save. Savage comes back in but walks into a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house but Sherri trips Hulk up to give Savage control again.

The big elbow hits but Hogan is up before there’s any cover. Savage runs away and it’s time for the showdown with Zeus. Hogan pounds away and finally puts Zeus down to one knee. Liz takes out Sherri and Beefcake intercepts Savage, causing him to drop the loaded purse. Hogan blasts Zeus in the face with the purse, slams him down and drops the leg for the pin.

Rating: D+. Amazingly enough, a non-wrestler like Zeus wasn’t capable of having a good match on any size of a stage. Beefcake and Savage were just window dressing here, but in this case the window dressing carried the match for his team. Zeus was just horrible here and was basically the original promotional stunt for a wrestling movie, which never works.

Post match Liz cuts Sherri’s hair. Much posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s a lot of bad stuff here but the good matches are more than good enough to make up for the lame short ones. The crowd is VERY hot all night to lift the show even higher up which helped a lot. The main event was horrible and while the cage match that blew it off a few months later was better, this is the match that should have been the big deal. Still though, the show is worth checking out but you should fast forward a few of the matches.

Ratings Comparison

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Original: B+

Redo: B

Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes

Original: F

Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Red Rooster

Original: C+

Redo: D

Rick Martel/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana/Rockers

Original: B+

Redo: B

Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Original: A-

Redo: B

Jim Duggan/Demolition vs. Andre the Giant/Twin Towers

Original: C+

Redo: C

Hercules vs. Greg Valentine

Original: F-

Redo: D

Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/23/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1989-gather-round-the-cauldron/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a first for the company as they are now heading over to Japan for a rare international Raw. It’s a stacked card too with the Tag Team Titles on the line, Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in a submission match and Edge FINALLY getting his World Title shot against HHH. Given the way things are going, we might actually get some lengthy matches out of all three. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still featuring the Rock. How long has it been since he’s been in anything more than a cameo?

Here’s Eric Bischoff to get things going. Bischoff says he is the GM of Raw and one of the most powerful and respected men in wrestling. The translator explains it to the Japanese crowd, who are NOT happy with Bischoff. In addition to the previously announced matches, we’re getting Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. We’ll get things going right now.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Submission match. Jericho goes nose to nose with him to start and it’s an aggressive lockup to start. They go outside without breaking the lockup and it’s more nose to nose. Back in and Benoit starts in on a hammerlock but has to break up a Walls attempt. Neither of them can get anywhere on the mat and that means another standoff. Jericho drops him ribs first over the top rope but the springboard dropkick is knocked out of the air.

An exchange of headbutts puts them both on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Benoit snapping off a suplex as Jericho is busted open. Jericho breaks up the rolling German suplexes and grabs an octopus hold of all things. That’s reversed as well though and now the rolling German suplexes connect. The third is countered into a half crab though as Jericho is opening up the submission playbook here.

Benoit escapes that but can’t get the Sharps, instead settling for more rolling German suplexes. The Swan Dive hits Jericho’s back but Jericho is right back up with a clothesline. The Lionsault hits knees…which don’t work for some reason as Jericho lands on his feet and tries a Texas Cloverleaf. He has to stop to puts Benoit though and it’s the Crossface to make Jericho scream, though he makes the rope in time. Another Walls attempt is countered into something like a triangle choke into another Crossface on the other arm for the tap.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be awesome with the two of them in a hard hitting match in Japan. There’s something awesome about watching Benoit try for submissions (I could watch him snap people down into the Crossface for hours) as he has more intensity with them than anyone else. Jericho can hang with him in there for a bit but Benoit winning makes more sense here.

Post match they shake hands and Benoit gets to pose in the ring on his own for a bit.

Video on the trip to Japan and their time there so far.

Ric Flair had a great time in Roppongi last night and can’t wait for a great evening for Evolution. HHH has been thinking about Batista and maybe they should fight at Wrestlemania. Flair isn’t sure and likes the idea of HHH and Batista ruling the two shows (Flair: “And I’m part of the show too!”). HHH agrees and is going to talk to Batista.

Christian is talking to a Japanese reporter but stops to ask Stacy Keibler for a quote for the article. The interviewer is looking for Randy Orton, which gets a big reaction. Apparently Christian is very annoying. Christian mocks Orton’s posing and thinks he’s a chair shot away from ending his career. Stacy thinks Orton could beat Christian so Christian wants a match tonight. With Tomko that is.

Wrestlemania Braveheart trailer.

Maven wants to know why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. Since he wasn’t, he’ll win here instead.

Batista vs. Maven

Guess what happens. Thirty seconds.

Post match we get another video from Smackdown, with Big Show being ready to beat Batista at Wrestlemania after he wins the title at No Way Out. Batista isn’t pleased. I’m not sure why Batista looks so stunned when this interview aired on Smackdown last week. It’s not like it’s a hidden camera.

Post break Batista rants at Bischoff about the Smackdown footage so Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of it. First though, Bischoff needs to talk to him about Theodore Long’s Smackdown offer. Smackdown is second rate and Raw is in the palm of his hand. Batista seems interested by both ideas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are challenging and the fans are WAY behind Tajiri, in case that wasn’t clear. Regal takes Conway down by the arm to start and it’s off to Tajiri for a baseball slide to the face. It’s back to Regal, who gets taken down by a quick suplex. A backdrop gets Regal out of a front facelock and it’s back to Tajiri for the hard kicks. An enziguri drops Grenier for two and the fans aren’t pleased. That means a double handspring elbow to take the champs down so Grenier grabs the flag. Tajiri kicks it away though and fires off some mist, setting up the Buzzsaw kick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t the point here as this was ALL about the home country pop for Tajiri and there’s nothing wrong with that. Regal and Tajiri have a history together so it’s not like this was even that far out of left field. It’s not like La Resistance has any value at the moment anyway. Not a good match (though it was far from terrible) but they did exactly what they were trying to do.

Post match Tajiri says something in Japanese and the new champs celebrate in the crowd.

Sumo champion Akebono is in the crowd.

Here are some of this year’s Hall of Fame inductees.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

You know Flair is getting the legend reaction here. Shawn’s is a bit louder but the fans are clapping instead of bowing. The fans respect them both but in different ways. Flair takes him into the corner and sneaks in an elbow as a villain should. The chops and right hands in the corner wake Shawn up enough to reverse for some chops of his own. A backdrop keeps Flair in trouble so he pokes the eye to take over. Shawn is right back with some right hands to set up the Flair Flop for two.

Flair gets smart and hits the chop block to take over, meaning it’s time for the standard leg work. The Figure Four goes on but is finally turned over, meaning Flair can kick at the leg some more. Shawn is fine enough to get two off a backslide as Lawler counts to two in Japanese. An enziguri drops Shawn and the fans are very appreciative of a tribute to Inoki. Flair kicks at the knee again and goes up, with the crowd instantly knowing what’s coming. The forearm into the nipup sets up the top rope elbow so Sweet Chin Music can finish clean.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they finished as they should have. Both of them are legends in Japan so the fans were going to cheer anything they did out there. It was fine to play it safe with a basic match not try to do anything too big, as Shawn is gearing up for Kurt Angle and Flair is going to be there for HHH and Batista.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring for an American fashion show. Maria is out first to represent the wild, wild west (she’s wearing a cowboy hat and shooting finger guns), Victoria represents the open road as a biker (jacket over her usual gear), and Christy represents the beaches in a swimsuit. Lawler tries to go over some rules for the thing but it’s Simon Dean interrupting instead.

Simon calls this a waste of time and insults the crowd, drawing Akebono out of his chair. That goes nowhere as Simon calls the women overweight. Lawler stands up for them so Simon calls him Burger King. Christy gets in a low blow and Simon is done. Pretty close to a waste of time.

Evolution has a meeting in the back with HHH trying to talk Batista into going to Smackdown (Didn’t he want him on Raw about forty minutes ago?). Flair paints the picture and Batista will think about it as they stop Edge from winning the title tonight.

Edge isn’t happy with everyone talking about Batista when he finally has his title shot tonight. HHH has his Braveheart trailer for Wrestlemania where he talks about defending the title because Edge gets overlooked again.

Video on the trip to Japan.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton seems more popular here than in America. No Christian with Tomko in a bit of a surprise. A headlock takeover has Tomko down early on as Lawler blames Stacy for getting Orton into this. Back up and Tomko hits a powerslam as Christian drags Stacy out here. The distraction lets Tomko hit a big clothesline and it’s time to wonder about another concussion.

Tomko starts going after the head in slow motion but the backbreaker gets Orton out of trouble. Orton slugs away and hits a dropkick but bangs his head again. Back up and Tomko whips him into the corner, which is reversed into a rollup for a pretty fast pin. Oh and Stacy cheers to validate her existence.

Rating: D. I could go for Christian vs. Orton and this was an acceptable step to get there. That being said, it didn’t do much for Tomko, who is only there for the sake of being big and imposing while attacking some people between matches. It’s better to not have him in a match of his own as things don’t tend to go all that well.

Post match Christian and Tomko jump Orton with Christian hitting an Unprettier. Orton had to be helped out during the break. It’s so strange seeing concussions being used as a storyline these days.

We look back at Regal and Tajiri winning the Tag Team Titles.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Flair with him. They trade hammerlocks to start and now the fans are rather quiet, likely because they know how important a World Title match is. HHH bridges up into a backslide, albeit after a bit of a slip, for two but Edge grabs a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Edge hits a spear in the corner but a second attempt hits post, as tends to be the case.

We take a break and come back with Edge getting two off a backbreaker. A DDT on the arm gets HHH out of trouble and they’re both down. The facebuster gives HHH two and the spinebuster is good for the same. Edge backdrops his way out of the Pedigree but the spear is cut off by the running knee. A shot to the back takes HHH down though and a pretty weak Edgecator goes on. That stays on for a rather long time until HHH dives over for the rope.

Edge’s spear hits the referee as we get more into Evolution’s wheelhouse. There’s no count off a neckbreaker so Edge has to spear Flair down, knocking a chair out of his hands. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex to make Edge drop the chair and everyone is down again. They both crawl for the chair but here’s Batista to take it away. HHH knocks Edge off the apron, sending him into Batista by mistake. Back in and Edge hits the Impaler for yet another double knockdown. Batista comes in and spinebusters Edge, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They would have been better off with about two minutes of laying around cut out of this but Edge can continue to rant about not getting a fair shot so he’ll be fine. What matters most here is HHH needs Batista again, furthering Batista’s big moment which has to be coming in the next few weeks. Not a bad match, but it was more about the stories than anything else.

HHH holds up the title but Batista looks at both him and the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a pay per view edition of Raw and it’s always nice to see something like that. They had some big matches with a cool moment in the title change, plus a pretty awesome opener. Once we get No Way Out finished up, it’s time to get things going to Wrestlemania. What matters here though is how much groundwork has been laid, because as soon as Batista gets his moment, everything is going to change for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 6, 2004
Location: Cricket Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final night of the guest host series for Raw and that means Chris Jericho is in charge. He has a big plate in front of him tonight with the controversial finish to last week’s World Title match where Chris Benoit and Edge both laid claim to the title. In a bigger deal though, Trish Stratus is defending the Women’s Title against Lita in a major showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Highlight Reel (of course) with Jericho promising a big party tonight. Since it’s a party, everyone gets laid tonight, so the leis fall from the ceiling, allowing Jericho to make some jokes about a few fans. Not wanting to be left out, he goes out and gets one himself (Jericho: “Everybody gets laid! You won’t get arrested!”). They’re imported from Hawaii, a tropical paradise, and what makes you think of the tropical paradise than Charlotte, North Carolina in December?

That’s not all though because tonight the Divas will be taking part in the Chris Jericho Rock and Roll Limbo A Go-Go, complete with music from Fozzy. With the announcements out of the way, we look at the end of last week’s show with Edge tapping just as Benoit got pinned. There’s nothing clear after several angles so Jericho needs some help. This brings out Vince McMahon, carrying the title in a better than expected visual. Vince didn’t see anything definitive either so that makes it a tie. He doesn’t like that either….so here’s a smug HHH to interrupt.

Vince doesn’t like being interrupted but he has one word for HHH: congratulations. HHH deserves some praise because he’s a bestselling author and has a role in Blade: Trinity. With that out of the way, HHH reaches for the title but that’s not right either. Instead, the title is vacated, meaning HHH is NOT the champion. As for the decision on the title…eh let’s just wait until next week as you can see the January pay per view from here.

Post break, HHH isn’t exactly happy and yells at Batista for not being angry enough. Batista yells back this time, saying he was out there last week and saving HHH last week. There would be no controversy if it wasn’t for him and Benoit would be the champion. YOU’RE WELCOME! HHH turns over the coffee while shouting THANK YOU.

Jericho has a party in his office, with paint and balloons on the walls and various woman carousing. Christian comes in to rant about what looks like a superhero costume Jericho wants him to wear. Jericho loves the idea of Captain Charisma joining various other great captains, like Hook, Crunch and James T. Kirk. If Christian wants another Intercontinental Title shot, get in the costume. Christian leaves and Benoit comes in instead. He’s not happy with the situation so Jericho makes himself and Benoit against Batista/HHH, which does please Benoit.

We look at Trish tormenting Lita back in May. These segments were gold as Trish is so awesome in this role.

Eugene vs. Maven

William Regal is here with Eugene and doesn’t think much of Maven wanting a handshake. Eugene wrestles him down to start and strikes a bit of a dance as Maven certainly doesn’t seem pleased. A takedown sets up a bodyscissors with Eugene rolling him around and shaking the knees some more. Back up and Maven falls down but claims Regal tripped him, meaning an ejection. Eugene gets a northern lights suplex for two and Maven compliments him before kicking the knee out. The knee gets tied in the corner and Maven chokes until it’s a DQ.

Rating: D. Now this is more Maven’s speed and I didn’t get nearly as annoyed as I did before. Maven against someone like Eugene is something I can buy, unlike watching him against main event level talent. The heel turn isn’t likely to revitalize his career but at least he’s not in way over his head.

Post match Regal comes back in but gets decked by a title belt.

And now, a limbo contest with the Divas. Fozzy plays music, the girls limbo, Christy wins, and Jericho starts singing with Fozzy as we have a dance off. The lights go out though and it’s Muhammad Hassan and Daivari coming up on the screen. Hassan goes on about how great things can be before a single instance can change everything. Like on 9/11. He’ll be here next week and the party will stop. Better than limbo at least.

Simon Dean vs. Hurricane

This is Dean’s in-ring debut but first he needs to talk about the Fit-No-Powder. Hurricane cuts him off, but Dean is smart enough to just talk over the music. Dean offers him an amateur position and gets rolled up for an early two. A front facelock has Dean in the corner but he comes out with a right hand. Lawler: “Well you know what they say.” JR: “What do they say?” Lawler: “Uh…..”

Dean takes him down and a pendulum elbow sets up a pushup choke. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hurricane’s back as Lawler compares him to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He wishes. Hurricane comes back with a clothesline and headscissors, followed by the reverse Unprettier. The Shining Wizard misses though and Dean grabs a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as Dean’s run continues to die before our eyes. It’s not working and a feud with Hurricane and Rosey isn’t going to fix things. They tried something and it isn’t clicking, but at least they’re keeping him down low on the card and giving him a win. I wouldn’t get my hopes up though.

We see Trish’s bridal shower for Lita as the gold continues.

Randy Orton is happy with the World Title situation and laughs at Coach for not being able to get laid.

Here’s an angry Edge for a chat. He’s here to defend his World Title and now it’s vacant. The fans tell him that he tapped out as he explains what happened last week, albeit with a bit of a twist that puts him in a pretty positive light. Even Lawler can’t give him the benefit of the doubt on this one as Edge talks about how great it felt to have the World Title in his hands.

This is all Randy Orton’s fault because Orton didn’t do the right thing last week. It’s not his fault that Orton’s title reign was a failure so Orton needs to get out here right now. Cue Orton with the shirt coming off on the way down the ramp. He could have made it a singles match last week with Benoit vs. HHH instead so Edge should be grateful. They’ve been here before and Edge only has himself to blame. Edge is the only failure around here but Edge can’t remember all the times he’s beaten Orton. Edge declares Orton his b**** and the fight is on with agents breaking it up.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Captain Charisma

The Captain (Christian in a superhero costume if you aren’t paying attention) looks a bit like Daredevil with yellow trim. Shelton starts laughing at him and holds his hand out to stop a charge. Tyson Tomko gets on the apron for a distraction, even though it doesn’t seem to change anything as Christian takes over anyway. Shelton is right back with the top rope clothesline but Tomko forearms him in the back to really take over.

An abdominal stretch stays on the ribs but Christian lets it go and misses a charge into the corner. Christian gets punched out of the air and a middle rope sunset flip gets two. The Stinger Splash misses but Shelton lands on the ropes, only to get powerbombed down for two. Tomko gets involved again by throwing in the title, allowing him to boot Shelton in the face for two more. Shelton kicks Christian in the head to mess up the mask, setting up the exploder to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse and it’s not like Shelton is going to run out of challengers. Christian has already been beaten a few times so this was hardly some big waste of a chance. The idea was funny enough, but with the Hurricane and Rosey already on the show, the superhero deal isn’t exactly an original idea.

Post match Jericho comes out and makes Orton vs. Edge for next week. As a bonus, he sings the Goodbye Song to Christian. For some reason, this isn’t included on the Network. With all the music stuff they do, that’s a copyright issue?

Smackdown Rebound (also not on the Network).

Next up: Trish interrupts Lita’s wedding. That outfit makes this roughly 14 times better.

Snitsky cuts Lita off in the back and takes credit for ruining Kane’s career. Tonight is Lita’s big night and it’s a shame her baby isn’t here to cheer her on.

We recap the World Title being vacated.

HHH calls Bischoff but gets the answering machine. The message turns into a plug for the book and Raw Magazine with Flair acting as pitchman. Batista comes in and hangs up the phone, pointing out how it’s kind of stupid to threaten the guy who handles the World Title situation. There is only one World Champion but Batista doesn’t say who that is. Flair: “He’s talking about you!”

HHH/Batista vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Lilian Garcia introduces HHH as the former World Champion so he chases her into the crowd. Benoit chops at Batista to start as they ride out the WE WANT FLAIR chants. It’s off to HHH, who gets chopped by both Canadians and suplexed by Benoit for two. The Crossface is broken up due to feet in the ropes and Batista adds a save. The fans still want Flair but settle for Jericho punching HHH down.

A whip over the corner puts HHH on the floor and a double dropkick sends Batista out next to him. Back from a break with Batista putting Jericho in a camel clutch after hitting a spinebuster during the break. Evolution takes turns stomping Jericho in the corner with Batista adding a boot choke. Jericho dropkicks the knee out to send Batista face first into the middle buckle and it’s the hot tag to Benoit.

Everything breaks down and Benoit decks Flair from the apron, which the fans don’t exactly like. Batista gets knocked off the apron though and Benoit rolls the German suplexes on HHH, which the fans like a lot more. The Lionsault sets up the Swan Dive into the Walls/Crossface combination but Batista makes the save. Another spinebuster drops Benoit but HHH hits him with a chair for the rather dumb DQ.

Rating: C+. The energy was there and HHH snapping is a good enough story. This is part of the bigger story though, even if it’s all but destined to end with HHH as champion again. Batista’s frustrations are starting to grow though and that is a good sign for the future. They’re taking the slow burn path and that’s best for everyone.

Post match HHH chairs Benoit (who is gushing blood) again and loads up one on Jericho, only to hit Batista by mistake. Jericho takes a shot of his own and HHH checks on Batista. Flair holds Batista’s head and HHH leaves, ranting about the title.

Some production guys check out Trish as she bends over for a stretch. After they’re scared off, Lita comes in and Trish asks whose career she’s ending tonight. Lita says yours and kisses Trish. Lawler’s reaction is much more subdued than you would expect.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and Lita looks very happy to be in her hometown. They lock up to start and fall to the floor as JR gets on Lawler for worrying about Trish’s nose. JR: “We’ll have a parade for her next week.” Back in and Lita knocks her to the floor, setting up the suicide dive with Lita landing on her head and thankfully not dying. A shot with the mask gives Trish two and JR goes off on Lawler again, this time for being glad to see Trish’s face. Trish pulls her up for the choke in the corner until Lita snapmares her way out.

The sleeper is broken up though and we hit the seated full nelson. Lita fights up and catches Trish on top, meaning it’s a top rope superplex for the double knockdown. The delayed cover gets two and Trish is right back with a kick to the head. Right hands in the corner are countered with a powerbomb but Trish grabs the rope to block the snap DDT. Stratusfaction is countered into the reverse Twist of Fate and the moonsault gives Lita the pin and the title for her first reign in four years.

Rating: B. There was a great energy here and the fans wanted to see Lita FINALLY beat Trish and take the title. That’s because they spent time setting this story up and it made the payoff that much better. It’s a big deal and felt like an important moment because WWE treated it like an important moment. This was the main event of the show and that’s not something you saw very often at this point.

Overall Rating: C-. The last half hour nearly saved the show with a hot angle and a very good main event. Other than that though, it was another week of waiting for another show as we still don’t get the big moment. They’ll wait for January to actually give us anything in the annual December Doesn’t Matter push and that’s something you knew was coming.

The main event is what really matters here as it would be the benchmark for the women’s division for over ten years. This match was the main event of Monday Night Raw and treated like the biggest thing on the show, which just did not happen at this point. I know they’ve been surpassed and lapped several times, but Lita and Trish really did take the division to a place it hadn’t been in the modern era here and that’s worthy of some praise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the more unique shows that WWE ever put together with the fans getting to pick the stipulations/participants/a few other things for the matches. This has presented a bit of a hard few weeks of TV as they don’t have specific matches to set up as everything has some kind of a twist included. Hopefully the finished product works a bit better. Oh and it’s on a Tuesday, which worked so well back in 1991 that they waited thirteen years to try it again. Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Bradley Center can hold about 18,000 people for wrestling. This really isn’t screaming good idea.

The opening video is about how the wrestlers have no control tonight. That works fine on paper, but when you consider how one sided some of the options are, it doesn’t hold up as well.

The set is rather cool with the stage looking like a keyboard. I miss these unique sets and you almost never get them anymore.

Coach is our emcee for the voting and we get to the important part first: the outfits for the women’s battle royal:

School Girls – 53%

French Maids – 30%

Nurses – 17%

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending and we see all of the options in the back, with some of them being laughable at best. Here are the results:

Shelton Benjamin – 37%

Batista – 20%

Jonathan Coachman – 7%

Christian – 7%

Rhyno – 6%

Maven – 4%

William Regal – 4%

Hurricane – 4%

Tyson Tomko – 2%

Tajiri – 2%

Steven Richards – 2%

Val Venis – 2%

Rosey – 1%

Chuck Palumbo – 1%

Rodney Mack – 1%

There were three realistic options and two of them finished first and second (Christian being that low is a bit of a surprise but maybe fans were just sick of seeing that match). Jericho armdrags him down to start but gets armdragged right into an armbar. Some loud chops in the corner get Jericho out of trouble so Shelton backdrops him to the floor instead.

Back in and Jericho is fine enough to get two off the running enziguri, followed by a suplex into the arrogant cover gets the same. A backbreaker has Benjamin’s back bent over Jericho’s knee as the fans aren’t sure what to do here. Jericho gets caught going up and it’s a top rope superplex to get us right back to even.

The Dragon Whip gets two but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Shelton gets up for the top rope clothesline in another near fall. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and a very long Lionsault connects for a delayed two. Back up and Jericho comes off the middle rope but dives right into the exploder suplex to give Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It took some time to get going but the last part worked well enough. Shelton needed to win something months ago so this is pretty overdue but at least they finally pulled the trigger and put him over completely clean. Jericho was really just keeping the title warm for someone anyway and it gives the fans something to cheer for early on. Also, it’s about time that they push someone to a title like this so hopefully it works out for him.

Post match Jericho takes the title, hands it back to him, and raises Shelton’s hand.

Edge says he should get the World Title match because he won the triple threat last night.

Chris Benoit promises to make HHH tap. Vote for him if you’re sick of Evolution and HHH running Raw.

Shawn Michaels says he isn’t asking for sympathy and he’s legitimately injured with a torn meniscus. Whatever is left in his knee, he’ll leave out in the ring.

And none of these speeches matter because here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 39%

Edge – 33%

Chris Benoit – 28%

At least none of them got destroyed. That means Edge and Benoit will get a Tag Team Title shot tonight instead. Edge walks off in disgust as Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, Jazz

Trish is defending, they’re all schoolgirls and you can be eliminated by going through the ropes. Everyone gets their own entrance to show off a bit, sending Lawler through the roof when Stacy comes out. I mean to be fair, she’s kind of made for this match. They brawl in near slow motion to start with Jazz beating everyone up and Nidia losing her top as she gets thrown out.

Victoria baseball slides Jazz out and blocks a hurricanrana to get rid of Gail to get us down to four. Stacy does her kicks and leg choke in the corner on Trish as creepy fans take pictures of the skirts flying up. A double suplex sends Stacy and Victoria to the apron but they get back in without much trouble. Victoria gets catapulted out and the fans start cheering for Stacy. The double teaming begins until Stacy kicks them both in the face and sends Trish to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination and Molly gets rid of Stacy, only to get dumped by Trish to retain the title.

Rating: D. We’ll call this one “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s not a bad thing for a match like this. I was worried they would go insane and make Stacy champion but thankfully common sense held strong. The girls looked great but that’s about all this had going for it, which is kind of the most important thing.

La Resistance doesn’t like the idea of just finding out who they’re facing and it’s another example of the unfair American voting system. They’re wrestling this match under protest. Todd Grisham actually remembers his history and brings up La Resistance taking the titles from Edge and Benoit in the first place.

We recap Kane vs. Gene Snitsky. Lita slept with Kane to save Matt Hardy and got pregnant as a result. Snitsky debuted and knocks Kane into Lita, causing her to lose the baby. Kane was distraught and is swearing revenge tonight where the fans get to choose the weapon. The most interesting thing here is Snitsky turning into the best built up monster heel in years as he actually did something evil and had some good insults after. Now as long as he wins here, they might have something.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Edge is furious over not getting the title shot over a broken down has been. He cares about the Tag Team Titles (he’s held them ten times) but they’re a consolation prize and that’s not good enough for him.

Coach goes over the stipulations for Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene, but we won’t hear the results until after it’s done.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is in his karate gear and Eugene plays with the hair clippers, the dress and the butler mannequin. Eric is smart enough to jump him from behind and kicks away but a ram into the corner wakes Eugene up. A fake knee injury lets Bischoff try a kick to the head, which just earns him some punches to his own head. The jacket comes off and Bischoff gets caught in a very long airplane spin. A big boot and the legdrop finishes Bischoff in a hurry.

Coach reluctantly shows us the results:

Loser’s head is shaved – 59%

Loser wears a dress – 21%

Losers is the winner’s servant – 20%

Coach knows this isn’t good and appeals to the fans to change their minds. He’s going to use his authority and change the decision to Bischoff being Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Actually hang on as here’s Vince to disagree. He heard what the fans said and they’re in charge on Taboo Tuesday. Bischoff tries to leave so Vince threatens to fire him. Eugene gets to do the shaving and that’s almost too much for Bischoff, with Coach talking him back into the chair. The cutting begins with Bischoff screaming that he’ll never forgive Eugene for this in a nice bonus.

Coach tries to leave but Vince isn’t happy with what he tried to pull. Therefore, he better take off his clothes because he’s wearing this dress. Vince makes sure that Coach button up because he doesn’t want a “s***”. The haircut continues and the gray roots come out, sending Vince into hysterics that Bischoff dyes his hair. Vince wraps it up as this took WAY longer than it needed to, though Vince’s antics and funny lines made it a lot more bearable.

Shawn is getting his knee taped up when Edge comes in to rant about how unfair this is. Michaels should have dropped out of this because Edge would have won. He’s nailing these angry promos so far.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

La Resistance is defending in a likely unintentional rematch. Grenier sings O Canada in French and the patriotic Edge and Benoit don’t interrupt. Edge pounds away at Conway in the corner to start and brings Benoit in to work on the chest. The first suplex is enough to bring Edge back in but this time Conway sends him into the corner. The champs take over with an assortment of forearms and choking until Edge knocks Conway off.

Hang on though as Edge needs to go outside and yell at fans as his frustrations continue. Another suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time for the chops. Edge knocks Conway off the apron and everyone winds up on the floor with Edge winding up back in trouble. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by Conway stomping away. Grenier waves the flag as the announcers talk about Milwaukee culture because this match is really boring.

A big boot finally gets Edge out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chopping as the energy just isn’t here. Grenier wastes no time in sending Benoit chest first into the buckle as the villains take over again. Benoit gets out of trouble with a release German suplex but we get the missed tag to keep Edge out. Actually that’s enough for Edge as he walks to the back (makes sense) to make this a handicap match.

Edge even leaves the arena as Grenier slaps on the chinlock in the ring. We even see the car pulling off as the hold continues. Benoit fights up and hits a top rope superplex on Grenier so it’s back to Conway. The Au Revoir is broken up and Conway is sent into Grenier to knock him to the floor. Some German suplexes set up the Crossface and Conway taps to make Benoit and Edge champions.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it just keeps going far too long when they could have done the same thing in about five minutes without missing much. La Resistance look like the biggest losers ever, though it’s not like they meant anything in the first place so the title change is actually a bit of a good idea. Let Edge get somewhere off the mega heel turn as La Resistance losing doesn’t exactly end some mega reign.

HHH thinks this whole thing is stupid and doesn’t buy the knee injury. He’ll make the injury real by the end of the night.

We look back at Shawn’s knee injury and how much it messed him up last night.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Carmella because that’s something we need to do. Christy won the Diva Search and since there’s nothing else for Christy to do, we’re having a non-match here for Christy’s first win.

Coach is still in a dress as he announces the stipulations for the “match”:

Lingerie Pillow Fight – 57%

Evening Gown – 33%

Aerobics Challenge – 10%

Christy Hemme vs. Carmella

They both come out and disrobe behind somewhat see-through screens (you can see their shadows). We get quite a bit of time on the disrobing with Christy basically stripping and Carmella having to be told to get closer to the screen. For some reason Carmella gets to the ring nearly a minute before Christy as this just keeps going.

They disrobe…and we start with the traditional throwing of false chest enhancements. They hit each other with pillows and choke a lot as the fans start booing loudly. Christy finally covers her for the pin with Carmella’s shoulder four inches off the mat. The “match” was less than two minutes while the build was nearly ten. This was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen as the Diva Search continues to haunt me even after it’s over.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is challenging with a bad knee and somehow, THIS MATCH doesn’t get a recap video. There’s a nine hour DVD’s worth of history between these two and it doesn’t even get a thirty second video after ten minutes of getting ready for a pillow fight? Shawn, who comes out second, takes a long time to limp down to ringside and even longer to kneel in the aisle. Just to kill more time, we get a weapons check, which is a nice thing to see for the sake of old school wrestling after the mess we just saw.

HHH slowly backs him into the corner and the referee makes him back off as JR snaps on Lawler for thinking Shawn is faking it, ranting about how Lawler needs to stop thinking about puppies and underwear all the time. Completely fair point and something that always makes me smile. Shawn tries to fight defensively but gets hit in the knee to put him in real trouble.

The slow motion beating begins with HHH punching away and hitting the knee a few times, which makes perfect sense but there’s only so much they can do under the circumstances. HHH bends the knee and we hit the Figure Four (you knew that one was coming). Shawn has to beg the referee not to stop it and, after two minutes in the hold, makes the rope for the break. The leg is pulled to the post but Shawn uses the good leg to send HHH into the post for his first major shot.

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the post again and they’re both down. An atomic drop isn’t the brightest move so Shawn hits three of them in a row and a clothesline finally puts the champ down. Shawn gets in a low blow and a big DDT, followed by an understandably messy top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and, after dealing with an interfering Batista, takes HHH down. Batista distracts the referee though and Edge comes back in to spear Shawn (Edge: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”) to give HHH the retaining pin.

Rating: C. I can’t get mad at this match as they didn’t have another option. Shawn could barely walk and you can’t fault the logic. It wouldn’t have made any sense for someone as smart as HHH to work on anything but the knee so it was the only way they could go. Edge interfering at least got something out of it and Shawn tried as hard as he could on one leg. It wasn’t exciting, but they did as well as they could under the circumstances.

Post match Shawn gets the hero’s sendoff. He wouldn’t wrestle again until January.

Bischoff, now with short gray hair, yells at people in case they make fun of him. Bischoff: “I’ll fire you! I haven’t even hired you yet but I’ll fire you!”

We recap the night so far to fill in time. I’d bet Shawn vs. HHH was scheduled for WAY longer so it’s about all they can do. Aside from just having Shelton vs. Jericho go longer or something, as two of the matches didn’t even combine for four minutes. The recap eats up the better part of eight minutes.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. After losing the World Title, Orton started calling out Flair for being a lackey to HHH instead of a legend. Flair said that Orton wasn’t a real legend killer because he was the only real legend in wrestling. This led to Flair teasing a face turn for about an hour before attacking Orton all over again. The idea for tonight is Flair trying to be his old self one more time, which he could actually pull off. The fans want to cheer Flair at the moment though so hopefully they’re given the chance here. It feels like a filler feud before Orton can get back to HHH, but the promos have been good.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

There are two real options here so here are the results:

Steel Cage – 68%

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%

Submission – 12%

Coach: “It is absolutely unanimous!” Coach doesn’t know what unanimous means. I’d have bet on falls count anywhere getting a bigger share but this was the best choice. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Orton wastes no time (we’ve done enough of that tonight) and starts punching so Flair chops right back. Flair takes his required backdrop but he’s up on the ropes to thumb Orton in the eye and knock him down.

There’s a low blow and a ram into the cage to draw some rather early blood. Flair drops a knee to the head as Lawler and JR compare the voting to the Presidential election. Orton sends him into the cage and hammers at the head to draw blood (well duh) and Flair’s trunks go down as he tries to climb the cage. Flair gets crotched to make it even worse but he low blows his way out of the corner. That just earns him a face rake against the cage and a dropkick to send him into the steel.

For some reason Flair goes up and…well you know the rest. Orton gets two off a high crossbody (I’ll call it a Starrcade 1983 reference), followed by the backbreaker for the same. A forearm to the back of Flair’s head actually draws an argument from the referee, allowing Flair to pull out the brass knuckles for two. Orton has to pull him back in the door but Flair is able to pull a chair in with him. The chair shot misses and it’s the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: B. The blood helped a lot here as Flair tried to turn back the clock and came pretty close, but just wasn’t able to overcome the younger star. Orton got a nice win though it’s not exactly a game changer or anything. This feud wasn’t the strongest in the world to start and while the match was good, it’s not like it’s anything more than a filler feud until Orton can go for the title again.

Post match they shake hands with Flair dropping to a knee. A hug and stare end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Good opener and better main event aside, this did not work as a concept and would have been much better off as a special episode of Raw. There’s way too much down time for the results and a lot of the matches were short for the sake of pre or post match shenanigans. It’s far from the worst show they’ve ever done but it’s much more a case of an idea that works on paper but not at all in practice.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Mercy 2004
Date: October 3, 2004
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for another Smackdown pay per view and again that means JBL is main eventing, this time against the Undertaker in a Last Ride match. I mean it worked so well the first time that someone felt the need to include a hearse. The other big match is Kurt Angle vs. the now bald Big Show in the most personal match of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a rather subdued look at the show’s card. You would expect a match with the main event focused on putting someone in a hearse to be a little more over the top.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

Reigns has Mark Jindrak with him and goes straight with the power (because he has so many other options) in the form of a hard clothesline and a somewhat harder shoulder. Eddie goes smart by sweeping the leg and hitting a running dropkick to the ribs, which looked a bit odd and I’ll blame that on Reigns. A gorilla press drops Eddie again and a whip into the corner sets up a bearhug. Headbutts break things up but Reigns is right back with a big boot (the left boot, which you don’t see that often) for two.

The double arm crank is broken up and it’s a backbreaker to keep the pressure on Eddie’s back. Eddie gets sent outside where Jindrak gets in some stomps as Eddie really seems like he’s wasting time until he beats Reigns whenever he wants. Another backbreaker keeps Eddie in trouble and a powerslam gets two. Eddie climbs the ropes to counter the Roll of the Dice into a reverse DDT to get a breather.

Some elbows in the corner have Reigns in trouble as the comeback is on. The first two Amigos connect but the third is countered with a gordbuster. With the referee apparently off buying popcorn, Eddie steals a baton from a cop at ringside and puts it in his boot. The chair gets brought into the ring and dropkicks it into Reigns’ face, which isn’t even admonished. The frog splash misses though, allowing the referee to get rid of the chair. Eddie blasts Reigns with the baton and now the frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. That’s the second straight match where Reigns has managed to drag Eddie down. Reigns just isn’t any good and is much better at looking intimidating than having an actual match. Like I said, this felt like Eddie was killing time until the match could end and that’s a really bad way to open the show. Just keep Reigns out of the ring because it’s not working.

We recap Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda getting in a catfight on Smackdown.

Dawn says she can’t help it if Charlie Haas is obsessed with her. There’s a six person tag tonight but Dawn goes into Jackie’s locker room where she’s changing clothes. Dawn thinks Jackie is forcing Charlie into the marriage but they won’t last. This feud came out of nowhere but at least they’re not hiding the soap opera stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Nunzio

Spike is defending after Nunzio pinned him in a non-title match on Smackdown. The Dudleys and Johnny Stamboli are here too. They fight over a lockup to start until Nunzio hiptosses him to the floor. Normally that would get a face pop from the crowd but….well would you cheer for the FBI? Back in and a rollup gives Nunzio two and it’s off to a wristlock. Bubba: “I THINK HE’S CHEATING!” If nothing else, Bubba is awesome at talking trash from ringside.

Spike gets sent outside again and a suicide dive knocks him down again. Back in and Nunzio takes him down with ease again but a Dudley distraction lets Spike get in a cheap shot. It’s off to a seated full nelson, which Nunzio spins into a rollup for two. Some of these counters are rather impressive and Nunzio is looking good, though it’s not like the fans are caring.

Bubba snaps Nunzio’s throat across the middle rope and it’s right back to the full nelson. This one doesn’t last long either and it’s Spike going up, only to get powerbombed right back down. A bridging belly to back suplex and a hard whip into the corner give Nunzio two each, followed by the Sicilian Slice for the same. They head outside with Spike taking a backdrop but D-Von grabs Nunzio’s leg. Johnny finally does something by making a save, allowing Bubba to crotch Nunzio against the post to retain the title.

Rating: C+. I don’t know if it was just how bad the first match was, but this was quite good stuff with Nunzio getting to show off his amateur skills. Spike as the team’s boss needed to end months ago as it’s really not working. I’m still not sure why Bubba and D-Von are listening to him but I don’t think WWE ever cared enough to figure that out.

We look at Undertaker’s first World Title win against Hulk Hogan back in 1991.

We recap Billy Kidman vs. Paul London. They won the Tag Team Titles but Kidman botched a shooting star press and injured Chavo Guerrero. He lost his confidence and walked away, costing them the titles and breaking up the team. Kidman stopped listening to London and snapped a bit, setting things up here.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London isn’t waiting and dropkicks him through the ropes to start fast. A hard kick to the back keeps Kidman down and another one to the face gets two. The aggression continues with a dropkick to put Kidman on the floor and the middle rope moonsault makes it worse. Back in and a slingshot splash gets two as it’s all London so far. Kidman gets serious though and sends him ribs first into the post, setting up back to back rib stretches. A gutbuster gets two and it’s time to just punch the ribs. Sometimes the simplest method is best.

London finally gets in a right hand and some forearms in the corner but the ribs give out. The BK Bomb gives Kidman two and a good looking dropkick cuts London down again. Kidman heads up for the shooting star to a very positive reaction but can’t bring himself to do it. It’s not enough to make Kidman walk out but it’s enough for London to nail a superkick. London tries his own shooting star, which hits raised knees. Now Kidman is able to hit the real thing for the pin, with the knees going into London’s ribs in what might have been an intentional bonus.

Rating: B-. I’m liking this story more and more every week, though I’m not sure how much longer it’s going to go. There’s an interesting sickness to Kidman luring London in to hurt his ribs even more to teach him a lesson. The story is getting inside Kidman’s head, which is all the better when it came off a story that was dropped in their lap.

Post match London gets checked on and Kidman blames the fans for making him do it. With London strapped to a board, Kidman drops another shooting star in a great heel move.

Here’s how Undertaker won the World Title again, this time at Wrestlemania XIII.

JBL wants to know why this show is biased towards the Undertaker. It’s like this lying liberal media to be so biased against him. He won’t guarantee a win, but he says Undertaker is taking the title over his dead body.

Tag Team Titles: Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Van Dam and Mysterio are challenging. Before we get going, Suzuki completely butchers Born in the USA. It’s still not working and I’m not sure why WWE doesn’t understand that. Dupree dances at Van Dam to start and it’s quickly off to a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. Neither of them can hit an elbow and we get the standoff. Rey comes in to try his own luck, including a kick to send both champs outside. That means the stereo running flip dives to the floor as the champs are rocked again.

Back in and Rob gets shoved off the top though to give Suzuki his first control. A slam sets up the neck crank from Dupree, followed by a Suzuki knee drop for two. Rob fights up and brings in Mysterio to pick up the pace, including knocking Dupree outside. Dupree comes back in to break up the 619, earning himself a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder. Now the 619 can hit Suzuki but Dupree won’t let him Drop the Dime. That’s enough for Suzuki to roll Mysterio up, with a grab of the rope, for the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. Not the greatest match in the world but given who the champs were here, it wasn’t that bad. Mysterio and Van Dam are fine for a one off set of challengers and I could see the titles changing hands. It’s an above average TV match and that’s good enough to get by on a show like this.

We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. Show returned and signed to face Angle, whose leg he had broken earlier in the year. Angle hadn’t forgotten it and shot Show with a tranquilizer dart before shaving him bald. Show is furious and out for revenge.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

No one is allowed at ringside. Show takes him straight into the corner and rubs some sweat onto Angle’s face before shoving him around. Back in and Angle’s various locks earn him some hip attacks in the corner and a toss across the ring. There’s a gorilla press slam and Angle heads outside again for a breather. Actually it’s enough for Kurt as he takes the countout loss. Cue Theodore Long to say not so fast because if Angle leaves, he’s done on Smackdown.

Angle has until ten to get inside and, despite tripping over the steps, makes it back in to keep going. Another toss has Angle in more trouble and another whip sends him over the post as it’s still all Show. Angle grabs a chair and gets it punched into his own head, followed by a bunch of chops in the corner.

The chokeslam is actually countered into an ankle lock, complete with the grapevine. It’s switched back to the regular version, allowing Show to kick Angle off, straight into the referee. That means some chair shots to the knee and a shift into the Ric Flair’s leg attack playbook. Some cranks on the leg keep Show in trouble and an Angle Slam (nice one too) gets two.

With the wrestling not working, Angle grabs the tranquilizer gun…which Show takes away and breaks over his knee. Showing a severe lack of intelligence (that’s one of the three I’s), Angle punches away and gets tossed into the air for a crash onto the mat. A chokeslam off the top destroys Kurt for good.

Rating: D+. I’ll give them points for giving Show the pin like this as that’s how you make him a star all over again. There’s little value in bringing him back and having him lose so ti’s the right call with the huge finisher to get a pin on one of the top stars of the show. Show won’t be at this level for long, so get what you can out of it while you can.

Post match, Jindrak and Reigns help Angle to the back.

We recap John Cena vs. Booker T. Cena was US Champion back in the summer but had it taken away by corrupt GM Kurt Angle. Theodore Long took over and made Booker defend the title in a Best of 5 series, with the first four matches being split two apiece. Tonight is the big finale.

US Title: Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is defending in the fifth match of the Best of 5 series and since it’s whoever wins the match wins the title, Cena can win the title via countout or DQ. Cena starts fast with a shoulder but gets slowed down via a front facelock. There won’t be any of this going slowly thing as Cena clotheslines him over the top with a hard shot. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face, followed by a second trip to the floor. Since they’ve already traded trips to the floor, they trade whips into the steps as well, just to keep things even.

They get back inside with Booker nailing a superkick for two, setting up the chinlock that you knew was coming at some point. A suplex gives Booker two more and it’s the chinlock sequel. This one is broken up with a fisherman’s suplex but Booker is right back with a high flapjack. The side kick misses though and Booker crotches himself on the ropes. Cena’s comeback is on with the Shuffle getting two. He takes too long pumping up the shoes though and walks into the Book End for a rather near fall. Booker goes for and then drops a chair so Cena hits an FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. This certainly was a match between the two of them but it was far from anything impressive. Cena kicking out of the Book End wasn’t much of a false finish and then he just hit the FU to win the title back with little fanfare. The entire series was little more than a way to fill time before Cena got the big win. That’s fine enough, but this wasn’t anything worth your time, much like the rest of the series.

Remember when Undertaker won the World Title at Unforgiven 1999?

Dudley Boyz/Dawn Marie vs. Charlie Haas/Rico/Jackie Gayda

D-Von and Charlie start, though not before Bubba does his fake start. A backdrop has Charlie in early trouble so Dawn tags herself in to lower her shorts and show off the thong. Jackie comes in instead and rips off Dawn’s top as Cole and Tazz make stiff jokes. Bubba grabs Jackie’s hair from the apron and comes in as Rico and Charlie are fine with just sticking their hands out from the apron.

Ever the genius, Bubba closes his eyes for a kiss, allowing Jackie to tag in Rico, who gives Bubba that kiss. The expected reaction is of course hilarious and Bubba is nearly vomiting. D-Von comes in and gets kicked in the face a few times so Bubba makes the save with a good crotching. It’s back to Bubba for some choking as Tazz accuses Cole of being a metrosexual freak. Bubba tells Rico what to kiss but spends too much time yelling (Bubba? Talking too much?) and gets DDT’d.

The double tag brings in Charlie to face D-Von as Cole gets on Tazz for spending too much time talking about Dawn’s underwear. Are they trying to replicate JR and Lawler? Like Cole would ever work on Raw. Rico comes in off a blind tag with a high crossbody but we get to the catfight that everyone was waiting for. D-Von can’t bring himself to What’s Up Rico so Charlie breaks it up instead. Jackie spears Dawn for another catfight and Rico moonsault D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C. I laughed a few times and that’s all this was supposed to be. Rico and Haas work well together in the oddball tag team and the soap opera stuff is working well enough. As long as they don’t hide what they’re going for and pretend that it’s anything other than a corny story, they’re going to be fine as it’s what these women are best at.

Undertaker, fourth title win, Judgment Day 2002.

We recap JBL vs. the Undertaker. They fought at Summerslam with Undertaker chokeslamming him through the limousine so tonight it’s a Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with an ambulance instead. JBL has sent various minions after Undertaker with the same success that minions ever have against him.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Undertaker is challenging and after his two hour and fourteen minute entrance, we’re ready to go. The stomping in the corner starts fast and Old School keeps the champ in trouble. Bradshaw fights back but gets chokeslammed in short order. Some apron elbows set up the apron legdrop and a whip into the steps makes things even worse. JBL gets smart and uses the steps to hit Undertaker in the head for his first offense, even though it was more defense than anything else.

A big boot and step shot to the head have Undertaker down against the barricade in the aisle as this is starting to drag. It’s not so much what they’re doing now, but more that you know they’re going to go back to the ring for a long time before the match is over. JBL can’t get the hearse open so Undertaker gets in a shot and they stumble back to the ring. A top rope shoulder (not bad) puts Undertaker down again but he pulls JBL into the triangle choke so they can lay down for a bit.

JBL saves himself from going through the announcers’ table and they fight into the crowd. Undertaker gets the better of it (well duh) and they come back to ringside for a Tombstone on the steps. The champ comes up bleeding but is fine enough to chair Undertaker in the head. A monitor to the head wakes Undertaker up enough to chokeslam JBL through the table.

They go up the aisle, the hearse is opened, and Heidenreich jumping out to take care of Undertaker. We go way old school with Heidenreich busting out some ether to knock Undertaker out and throw him in the hearse to retain JBL’s title. Actually hang on as just closing the door doesn’t count as Undertaker pops out and beats up Heidenreich but gets taken down by the Clothesline From JBL. Now JBL and Heidenreich can throw him in for the real win.

Rating: D. The violence was entertaining, though the problem here was the same thing that happens in every JBL match: it’s not about what you’re seeing but rather how can they have JBL escape with the title again. That makes for a long twenty minutes and now we’re moving towards Undertaker vs. Heidenreich while we find a new challenger to put over JBL as we start the whole thing all over again. What’s surprising here is that JBL is actually finding him rhythm as a heel and has been pretty good. Just find a way to make the matches better.

Post match JBL brags about being immortal and we cut to the back where Heidenreich, at Paul Heyman’s direction, drives a truck into the side of the hearse to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Bad opener and way too long main event aside, this was a watchable enough show that didn’t have me losing my mind at any given point. That’s a good place to be in for a Smackdown pay per view, though there are some issues that need to be fixed. The lower card is the best part of the show at the moment and I’ll take good stuff where I can get it. I even liked parts of this one, which is actually surprising this far into the JBL title reign. Fix the problems around there and they’ll have something.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Unforgiven 2004
Date: September 12, 2004
Location: Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another case of a one match show, which tends to be the case in the HHH era. In this case it’s HHH getting (another) title shot against Randy Orton, who was thrown out of Evolution last month. It’s not exactly a thrilling concept but there’s no escaping HHH’s title hunts of destiny. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Orton being thrown out of Evolution and trying to become the top face in the company by running away over and over. It’s set to Saliva’s Survival of the Sickest, which was the song that kind of finished me with the band. I’m going to be extra sick of it by the end of the show, but that might just be due to hearing about this match all night long.

Batista/Ric Flair vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Batista start things off as Lawler hopes Eugene is home watching the radio. An early Crossface attempt sends Batista bailing to the ropes, followed by a quick takedown for the tag off to Regal. A t-bone suplex drops Batista and it’s back to Benoit, who gets chopped by Flair. The backdrop has Flair in more trouble (as always) and it’s Regal coming in, only to have the knee taken out.

Flair goes…after the arm for some reason, allowing Benoit to come back in for some chops. An enziguri nails Flair and the Flair Flop takes him down right in front of Batista. He’s done that forever and it still makes me chuckle. Batista comes in a few seconds later and blocks a Sharpshooter attempt so it’s back to Regal. This time Evolution actually takes over, after what felt like a long time. Flair gets in more chops and Batista gets two off a neckbreaker. It’s finally time to go after the knee with Flair slapping on the Figure Four.

Benoit makes a quick save so Batista takes Flair’s place with a chinlock. Regal gets up and sends him into the corner for the break though and it’s a hot (ish) tag to Benoit for the real house cleaning. Everything breaks down with Benoit snapping off German suplexes all around. The Swan Dive connects and the Crossface goes on Flair, drawing in Batista to pick Benoit up for the break. Regal sends Batista over the barricade, leaving Benoit to get the Crossface again to make Flair tap.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the slightest spark to it and felt like they were all just missing. It’s more an issue that I’ve seen them do a variety of combinations with these same people over and over to much better results. Regal getting involved is long overdue and I’m glad to see him getting a chance on the bigger stages like this. Everyone was missing here though, which is going to happen every now and then.

Christian doesn’t want Tyson Tomko to go to ringside with Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title match. It doesn’t matter as Christian has to go to the ring alone so what difference does it make? Tomko gets to decide, so Trish invites him to her dressing room after the match. Tomko to Christian: “Good luck.”

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and has Tomko with him. Victoria takes her down to start and the champ bails to the floor in a hurry. As Lawler makes it clear that Trish is NOT a s***, she sends Victoria into the corner for some choking on the rope. That’s broken up and it’s a gorilla press gutbuster to send Trish outside. Tomko takes her away before Victoria can dive and it’s a posting to keep Victoria down again.

We hit the armbar for a bit, followed by a hair pull as the offense devolves a few levels. The chinlock is broken up so Trish grabs a spinebuster for two, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. The comeback doesn’t take long with Victoria fighting up and hitting the spinning side slam. Victoria gets two off the dancing moonsault but goes with a slingshot dive onto Tomko instead of following up. Stratusfaction retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t good and it came after an ice cold build that was more about Christian vs. Trish than anything else, even though Christian only came back less than a week ago. This division is still dying for some fresh talent, but that’s been the case for so long now that it’s a feature instead of a condition. They’re trying, but they have no help in terms of build or interest from anyone.

Post match Tomko goes after Victoria, drawing in Stevie in drag for the save. Stevie leaves and Tomko wants him back out here for a match RIGHT NOW.

Stevie Richards vs. Tyson Tomko

Stevie comes back out as JR says this is the worst kept secret in wrestling. Tomko punches him in the face and we start the removal of clothing, because that’s what this match is really about due to whatever bad ideas Vince was having at the time. The wig goes off as well and Tomko shoves Richards’ implants into his mouth. Some right hands have Richards in more trouble as his bra comes off.

Tomko…rubs Stevie’s face as JR sounds ready to walk off the show. The fans on the other hand don’t seem to be there as it’s a mixture of light booing and silence. A slam has Richards in more trouble as the underwear discussion continues. Tomko cranks on the neck and then calls Richards a sissy, which seems to fire him up. Richards throws his wig at Tomko to distract the referee, setting up a testicular claw. Some dropkicks in the corner have Tomko in trouble until he hits the rack neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: WIDANF. For Wrestlers in drag are not funny. I don’t get what WWE sees in this idea and I really, really don’t want to. I would love to have someone explain the point of this whole thing to me or why this needed pay per view time. It really does feel like they threw this out there because Vince would find it funny and nothing more. Lucky us.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Christian for the Intercontinental Title. Edge was champion but got injured and had to forfeit the title, setting up this match with Christian replacing Edge in a ladder match for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Christian had been put on the shelf after a match with Jericho so this was a perfectly logical move and about as good as they had given the circumstances.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Ladder match with the title vacant coming in and no one at ringside. They talk some trash to start until Jericho hits a few suplexes. A trip to the floor lets Jericho throw a ladder at him to no avail so Christian scores with some right hands. Back in and Christian chokes on the ropes so Jericho enziguris him right back down. When all else fails, kick the guy in the head. Another ladder is grabbed and slammed into Christian’s ribs but another big show misses.

They fight into the crowd as JR wants to know the difference between a Peep and a Jericholic. Jericho chokes with a cord but gets pulled into an Unprettier on the floor, which should be enough to win just about any match. Here it’s only enough to get a single hand on the title (those ladders are timely) so Christian ladders him down and puts said ladder onto the top turnbuckle. As expected it’s Christian going face first into the steel instead, with JR saying even barbecue sauce couldn’t make that taste good.

Jericho sets the ladder up but goes into it instead, giving us another double knockdown. A catapult sends Jericho face first into a ladder bridged across the middle rope, followed by Jericho shoving one into Christian’s face for another hard shot. Jericho channels his inner Shawn by riding the ladder down onto Christian’s back and the fans are rather pleased. They’re both hurt so Christian ties him in the Tree of Woe in the ladder and hits a running knee instead of, you know, going for the title.

Christian does climb, so Jericho gets out of the corner and flips him off, which is enough to get Christian down. That earns him a dropkick into the ladder into Christian and Christian sandwiches him in between a ladder. The Lionsault only hits ladder though and Jericho’s knee is banged up pretty badly. Christian takes FOREVER to climb though, allowing Jericho to shake the ladder away, leaving Christian hanging from the belt. The ensuing ladder spot to the ribs and crash are rather snazzy and they’re both down again.

Jericho puts the ladder over Christian and goes up but gets shoved down, just barely saving himself from a crash out to the floor. That’s not enough for Christian to grab the title, but it is enough for him to turn around on the ladder so Jericho can get the Walls on top. That’s STILL not enough for the win as Christian pops up and shoves the ladder over, with Jericho landing tailbone first on the side in a nasty crash. It’s time for the jumbo ladder so they head up at the same time, only to have Jericho pull him down for another double crash landing. Jericho finally (and I do mean finally) gets the title for the win.

Rating: C+. WAY too long here with far too many false finishes hurting things. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s the same feeling every time: get on with it already. Jericho winning wasn’t exactly a shock and it took too long to get there. I can understand why they were given this much time if Tomko vs. Richards needed that long in the previous match, but that doesn’t make it much better. The match certainly isn’t bad, but a trimmed down version would have been a lot better.

Lita answers Kane’s door and says she hopes Shawn Michaels crushes Kane’s throat tonight. Kane comes out and laughs at her ranting, saying this is now a No DQ match. He’s going to destroy Shawn and Lita has to watch from ringside. We even get a rather forced kiss for luck.

Jericho says he feels like a king. Edge comes up to say he’s coming for the title, because Jericho knows he can’t beat him.

We recap Kane vs. Shawn Michaels. Kane put Shawn on the shelf a few months ago and has since managed to win Lita in marriage. Lita then used an open contract to set up this match with the hopes of Kane getting hurt just as badly. The injury is only brought up at the end, almost as an afterthought.

Kane vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ and Lita has been dragged out with Kane, which I’m sure won’t go badly at all. Shawn wastes no time in going after him and Kane is knocked out to the floor with some right hands. Kane misses a charge into the post to make it even worse but manages to uppercut him out of the air back inside. Shawn knocks him outside and even skins the cat back inside because he still has it.

That’s enough for a dive and Lita talks some trash, allowing Kane to hide behind her like a true heel should. A shot to the face puts Shawn down and Kane slams him onto (not through) the announcers’ table. The second slam puts him through instead as the slow pace begins. Shawn gets a boot up in the corner but walks right into a side slam to take him down again. We hit the neck crank with Lita playing cheerleader, much to Lawler’s continued confusion.

Another slam sets up another neck crank, followed by a clothesline to stay on the neck. Shawn fights up and grabs a DDT for the required breather, setting up the more required forearm into the nipup. Since it’s just a forearm, Kane sends him over the corner and out to the floor for a ram into the steps. That means some blood but Shawn kicks a chair away. Kane kicks Shawn away as well though and it’s right back to the floor.

Shawn posts him this time around and knocks Kane down with a single right hand. The top rope elbow gets two but a big boot cuts off Sweet Chin Music. Kane nails the top rope clothesline but Shawn low blows his way out of a chokeslam attempt. One heck of a chair shot knocks Kane silly, though he still gets up first. Lita pulls the chair out though and that’s enough for Sweet Chin Music to knock Kane out for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here and while a rather lengthy eighteen minutes, it didn’t feel long like the previous match. Shawn got his revenge in a violent enough match though it was nothing that we haven’t seen them both do better before. That’s likely it for this mini feud, though you can imagine Kane and Lita continuing for a good while.

Post match Kane yells at Lita, as expected.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back. I didn’t know he left but apparently his last televised match was three months ago. Who knew?

HHH reminds us of how great he is and promises to take Orton out. All of Orton’s success is because of him and tonight, HHH is taking it all away. Somehow this takes the better part of four minutes.

Tag Team Titles: Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending and hopefully Tajiri is healthy tonight. The challengers charge into the ring with Tajiri not being able to keep up with Rhyno for an unintentionally funny moment. Grenier shoulders Tajiri down for an early two as the announcers argue about being prejudiced. Tajiri is right back up with some armdrags into an armbar. Conway comes in and gets the same treatment so it’s off to Rhyno to miss a charge in the corner. You can see the empty seats now and that’s rather telling about the importance of this match.

Rhyno knocks Conway down and brings Tajiri back in for more kicks. Something like a DDT drops Tajiri and the champs start their cheating ways. A backbreaker keeps Tajiri down as this is as thrilling as you would have expected. The announcers give up trying to make the match sound important and talk about Orton vs. HHH instead.

Tajiri gets up a kick in the corner so Rhyno can clean house again. A belly to belly and spinebuster get two each on Grenier with Conway making the save. The hard kicks from Tajiri have the champs in trouble and the Gore gets two with Conway putting the foot on the rope. The referee isn’t happy, allowing a flag shot to Rhyno to retain the titles.

Rating: D-. Again, the match goes longer than it needs to and loses a lot of the crowd (what little they had of it) in the process. This could have been on any given Raw, though it would have been bad on there too. The build was fine enough, but it’s not like this was ever going to be anything more than a match filling time on a card. It’s a thing that happens on every show, but when it feels like most of the matches on the show are just filling time, it become a major problem.

We recap HHH vs. Randy Orton, which is all about Orton winning the title that was supposed to belong to HHH. In other words, it’s been a month of “THIS IS MY COMPANY BECAUSE I’M HHH” and a failed attempt to turn Orton into the top face by just having him go against HHH. The problem is that Orton has spent most of his time running from Evolution in a smart but not inspiring move. There isn’t much of a reason to cheer Orton, which is a different situation than booing HHH. The second part is easily accomplished, but it turns into more of no one getting cheered, which isn’t a good place to be.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Orton calmly taking him into the corner and slapping him in the face. Lawler says HHH isn’t happy because he made Orton. JR: “Easy there Dr. Evil. I think Mr. and Mrs. Orton had something to do with it.” Point to JR on that one. Orton shakes HHH off and slaps him in the face again, followed by the spitting sequel. There’s a backdrop to make it even worse for HHH and we’re already in the chinlock.

Back up and HHH gets sent outside with Orton following, though JR isn’t sure about the plan. They head back inside in a hurry with HHH nailing a chop block. So much for JR’s analytical skills. An attempt at a crotching around the post sees HHH get pulled face first into the post but it doesn’t stop him from going after the leg. Another chop block keeps Orton down and a knee to the knee in the corner makes it even worse. A leglock goes on for a bit, followed by a facebuster to slow things down a bit more.

Some elbows to the leg set up the Figure Four, which makes a lot of sense in this case. HHH grabs a rope because he knows how to be a villain, though the crowd doesn’t seem to agree with the style here. The referee catches him grabbing the rope though and that means a break, followed by a thorough verbal castration. Orton shoves him into the corner with HHH’s head hitting the post to bust him open. Right hands in the corner stay on the head and Orton’s always good dropkick gets two.

A DDT drops HHH for two more but the sleeper is countered with a belly to back. HHH goes up for the most obvious dive into a raised boot I can remember in a long time to give Orton a breather. The high crossbody gets two and Orton throws him outside. Back in and the RKO is countered into a ref bump as I begin to sigh. Now the RKO connects for no cover as Flair runs in to get punched down. Batista gets in a few shots but misses a charge into the post.

HHH cuts Orton down with a low blow and here’s Coach in a referee shirt for the near fall. The lack of a pop on the kickout is as telling of a sign as you’re going to get. Orton punches Coach down and Batista is right back in with a spinebuster with Coach counting two (better reaction this time, but still not great). Orton backdrops out of a Pedigree and RKO’s Coach (all in one movement for a cool sequence). Flair takes one as well and it’s a low blow to break up the Batista Bomb. HHH is back up though and cracks Orton in the head with a chair. The slow motion Pedigree onto the chair makes HHH champion. Again.

Rating: C+. Well of course he did. It was clear that Orton wasn’t working as a champion (for various reasons) but the fans aren’t going to get behind him as the uncrowned champion after he loses the title to another soul crushing HHH win. It feels like another case of HHH showing everyone who runs Raw because he, yes he, is the only person who can fix all of Raw’s problems despite being a big source of their problems.

The match itself was actually pretty good, albeit slow and with a bad ending. As has been the case with almost everything on the show tonight, it felt like the match was being stretched out for the sake of filling in the show, which isn’t a great feeling about the main event. The crowd didn’t care and that was the case with so much of Orton’s time as champion. If they don’t care about him being champion, they’re not going to care about him losing the title.

JR is disgusted to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Just a completely lifeless show here which never got off the ground, despite some matches being pretty good. The problem here was how little there was to care about, which has been a problem for a long time. It’s felt like a matter of time before HHH got the title back since the second Orton won it and now that’s where we are: right back where we were, waiting on the next big name to challenge him. I’m sure Orton will get a few more chances but it’s not like it’s going to matter for the time being. Orton didn’t work as champion, and now we’re right back where we were before Wrestlemania. Lucky us.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

JBL goes right back to the knee with a spinning toehold of all things but Undertaker hits a sloppy release spinebuster for two more. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down again and Snake Eyes into…a running clothesline instead of the big boot gives Undertaker another two. The chokeslam gets a delayed near fall, which seems to shock the announcers. Who hasn’t kicked out of a chokeslam? Jordan gets up for a quick distraction and it’s the Clothesline From JBL to give the champ two of his own. The referee gets bumped though and it’s a double big boot for a double knockdown.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

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