It’s that time again.  Starting on the 22nd, I’ll be counting the shows up again.  As always I’ll be doing last year’s show and one other.  In the comments, let me know which you’d like to see me do again.  2003 and 2005 were done last year and are therefore out of the running.

Backlash 2002
Date: April 21, 2002
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 12,489
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view after the Brand Split and it really is a tale of two shows at this point. Raw is absolutely horrendous at the moment with an unmotivated Undertaker vs. Steve Austin as the main feud (and the Raw main event here) for the next WWF World Title match. That would be your Smackdown main event here as HHH is defending against Hulk Hogan for reasons of pure nostalgia. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about HHH vs. Hogan with Hulk talking about how he needs the title one more time to validate his career after being away for so long. HHH says that was then and this is now, meaning it’s no longer Hogan’s time.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Tajiri

Kidman is defending after taking the title from Tajiri a few weeks back. Tajiri also has Torrie in the geisha outfit. Standard cruiserweight style to start with an exchange of armdrags as Lawler complains about Torrie being covered up. Tajiri goes with the kicks and choking to take over, including the required chinlock. A baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe makes it even worse and Tajiri starts in on the back. That means the Tarantula goes on but Tajiri can’t hit the Buzzsaw Kick.

Instead he gets two off a bridging German suplex as the crowd is already dying. A big kick to the head gets two on the champ but for some reason Tajiri tries a powerbomb. The shooting star misses and Tajiri’s Buzzsaw gets two. That actually earns a KIDMAN chant as the fans can get behind someone who keeps fighting through adversity. Tajiri loads up something off the top but gets pulled down with a sitout powerbomb. Kidman tries a powerbomb of his own but KIDMAN CAN’T POWERBOMB YOU as Tajiri mists him in the eyes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The back and forth action was fine but there wasn’t much heart to this one. The fans got behind Kidman for all of ten seconds before Tajiri misted him to take the title back. It’s not a bad choice for an opener but this felt like something out of WCW: give them a little time and have the fans forget about it so the real stars can take over. It’s no wonder Kidman did that “no one knows who I am” promo on Smackdown.

The APA have a very quick reunion.

Scott Hall vs. Bradshaw

Remember a month ago when Hall was fighting Austin at Wrestlemania? The NWO (as in X-Pac) is at ringside so here’s Faarooq to have Bradshaw’s back. Bradshaw punches Scott in the jaw to start and a DDT sends him outside. That means a beating from Faarooq, followed by something like a right hand to X-Pac who can barely sell that properly. Back in and Hall does his discus punch with almost no pop behind it.

An APA chant doesn’t do much for Bradshaw but he gets in a shoulder to put both guys down. We get the Bowling Shoe line from JR as Hall is stumbling around, leaving Bradshaw of all people to carry this mess. The Clothesline knocks Hall’s head off but X-Pac puts the foot on the ropes. Faarooq takes care of X-Pac, leaving Hall to hit a horrible low blow to set up a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m feeling very sorry for Bradshaw around this time. The guy is stuck taking care of the veteran star and Hall has no business being on a major show at this point. It’s very clear he doesn’t care and is just out there for a paycheck and that leaves Bradshaw in over his head (not his fault) against someone who can’t help him through the match. The result is a disaster, save for the fans being VERY excited for an APA reunion. You know, less than a month after their split.

Vince laughs at Flair for screwing up Raw so far but Ric says he’ll never be like Vince at the helm of the show. Hands are NOT shaken and this goes nowhere.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Trish is challenging and I keep forgetting how great she looked around this time. Actually hang on a second as here’s Molly Holly instead of Jazz. Molly says the Women’s Champion shouldn’t have to flaunt her body and hits Trish in the face with the mic. A whip sends Trish into the steps and here’s Jazz to get things going.

Trish is ready to go and drops Jazz throat first across the top rope. Jazz starts punching and we get some Mike Tyson comparisons. The Stratusphere puts Jazz down again but since that’s just a glorified hurricanrana, a sitout powerbomb gets two on Trish. The Stratusfaction is broken up (because it’s a bulldog) and a dragon screw legwhip sets up an STF to retain Jazz’s title.

Rating: D+. Time hurt them here but the story before the match really didn’t help. Yeah Molly did some damage but Trish tried her signature move and Jazz did the leg damage that set up the STF. Jazz really doesn’t serve much of a purpose here other than being a dragon for Trish to slay at some point in the future and that’s really not interesting. It was better than the previous match though so things are looking up.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar, which is mainly over Paul Heyman stealing Lita’s underwear on Raw.

Heyman gives Lesnar an unnecessary pep talk.

Jeff Hardy vs. Brock Lesnar

Lita is in Jeff’s corner and this is Brock’s in ring debut. Jeff goes after him to start and is thrown outside like a fly. A high crossbody gives Jeff two and it’s time for the beating to begin. We go to the yet to be built Suplex City before some backbreakers make it even worse for Jeff.

A pair of Irish whips have Jeff reeling but he comes back with a Whisper in the Wind to put Brock down. JR calls that a rare occasion, which is technical true due to Brock having about three minutes of ring time in the WWF at this point. The Swanton only gets two and that’s about it for Jeff. Hardy gets a chair so Brock scoops him up for an F5 onto the steel. Heyman: “DON’T PIN HIM! HURT HIM!” Lesnar gives him three straight powerbombs and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. That’s all Lesnar needed to do here though you could argue it should have been against Matt and Jeff at the same time. Heyman telling Lesnar to hurt him was the perfect line and Brock looks like an unstoppable monster. On top of it all though is Jeff’s selling as he makes you think he’s been shot every time he takes another big shot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Edge in a rematch after Edge beat Angle in their first match. That’s not cool with Kurt so it’s time for revenge. This is a way for Edge to look great and move up the ladder and almost no one can help him better than Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

I love those big pieces of metal that swing back and forth to go with the Backlash name. You don’t see that kind of stuff enough anymore. Angle makes the mistake of charging at Edge to start and runs into some right hands. A flapjack sends Kurt outside and he’s rather upset by these circumstances.

Back in and a wicked German suplex sends Edge flying and an overhead belly to belly gets two. It’s already off to the chinlock and things slow down a bit. Edge fights back again and gets in a belly to belly of his own to buy a breather. The yet to be named Edgecution gets two on Angle but Edge takes too long on top, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex. That always looks great.

Some rolling Germans give Angle more near falls but Edge gets in something like a release German suplex of his own. A backdrop puts Angle on the floor again (Why is that floor so shiny?) and Edge dives down onto him for a lighter pop than I was expecting. Back in and an Angle Slam sets up a quick ankle lock but Edge rolls through for a near fall. Angle brings in a chair (Why does the referee never even try to stop that?) but walks into an Edge-o-Matic. The spear is blocked by a knee to the face and the Angle Slam gives Kurt the clean pin.

Rating: B. I know he’s run a lot of his legacy into the ground but dang Angle was good back in the day. It’s crazy to think that he had only been in the WWF about two and a half years at this point because he’s been great for so long. Edge is getting a heck of a rub out of this feud and it’s doing a lot to make him into a bigger deal. That’s such an important key to his career: they didn’t go nuts and hot shot Edge because they knew he was going to be something special. Let him season in this role and then move him up when he’s ready.

Here’s Chris Jericho who doesn’t have a match tonight. Just thirty days ago he was the WWF Champion but now he doesn’t have a match. Billy Kidman, Trish Stratus and MAVEN can get matches but he’s left off the show? JR: “What a bitter young man.” Actually what a person with a point. It’s ok though because Jericho knows he’s better than Hulk Hogan. Since he doesn’t have a match tonight, he’s out of here. Standard “hey I’m here and I’ll be back” segment.

Undertaker comes in to see Flair (and Arn Anderson) but just stares at him.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is challenging after returning recently and this is a battle of the frog splashes. Van Dam tries the kicks but gets taken down by the leg in a smart move. Rob’s shoulders in the corner don’t do much good either so he kicks Eddie down for two. It’s way too early for a splash though as Eddie crotches him down. Eddie can’t get a superplex though and Van Dam drapes him throat first across the top rope to really take over.

They head outside with Van Dam moonsaulting off the apron to set up the spinning kick to the back. Rolling Thunder is blocked, probably because it involves so much time and noise. A surfboard with Eddie bending Van Dam back into a dragon sleeper makes things even worse for the champ. That’s playing to Rob’s natural assets as most people can’t bend that way.

The Gory Stretch is countered into a sunset flip but Eddie stomps him down all over again. Eddie takes too long setting up his own frog splash so he sunset bombs Van Dam off the top for two instead. The near fall makes Eddie bring in the title and a neckbreaker onto the belt sets up the frog splash to give us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Oh yeah Eddie is back and that’s a great thing. Eddie looked awesome here and was obviously way ahead of Van Dam in the ring which had to be expected. Van Dam is always one of those guys who was there to drop the title to a better option as champion and that’s a role he played as well as anyone else. Good match here and most of that is due to Guerrero.

We recap Austin vs. Undertaker which is somehow mostly about Ric Flair. Undertaker beat Flair up at Wrestlemania so Undertaker wanted to make him miserable. Austin doesn’t like authority figures in general so Flair has made himself guest referee for this #1 contenders match.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Flair is guest referee and has on red shoes that probably cost more than Nikita Koloff’s house. They start with technical stuff which means this is probably going to have a lot of time for reasons I don’t want to comprehend. A shoulder puts Austin on the floor for an early breather before doing that weird checking his watch thing.

We stop for some Austin push-ups (I don’t get it either.) before a clothesline drops Undertaker. An armdrag (???) and drop toehold (?!?) put Undertaker down into a Fujiwara armbar as we flash back to 1992 for some reason. Back up and Undertaker’s big boot takes over but we slow it down with a wristlock. Old School is broken up and Undertaker is knocked outside to finally makes this the brawl people expected to see.

Austin sends him into the announcers’ table but we have to stop for a knee brace adjustment. A slugout sends Undertaker into the crowd and here’s the NWO to help validate their contracts. Undertaker takes over again and hits the apron legdrop. It’s time to work on Austin’s leg as this is just dying. A Figure One Leglock sends Austin over to the ropes but I can’t stop looking at Flair’s stupid red shoes. Really you have two guys in all black and a referee in a striped shirt, black pants, and bright red shoes. Who let him get away with that?

A chinlock keeps Austin in trouble and a belly to back suplex gets two. In case that’s too exciting for you, here’s another chinlock and a forearm rubbed across Austin’s face. The announcers keep talking about the NWO, who haven’t done anything in the six or seven minutes they’ve been out here. Austin comes back with right hands so weak he’d criticize them on the podcast when he’s being all picky about a match but the jumping clothesline puts him down again.

Undertaker takes off a turnbuckle pad but gets whipped into it, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down AGAIN. Geez end this nonsense already and bring Van Dam and Guerrero out here for round two. Some WHAT right hands have Undertaker in trouble but the referee, as in RIC FLAIR gets bumped off a collision. The Stunner connects but Flair is down for over thirty seconds.

Undertaker gets in a low blow and the chokeslam as Flair is on his feet after a minute. A slow two count ticks Undertaker off and a snap spinebuster gets the same for Austin. The Stunner is broken up and Flair is bumped again, leaving Undertaker to crack Austin with a chair for another slow two. Austin stomps a mudhole and grabs the chair, which is kicked into his face for the pin to make Undertaker #1 contender, despite Austin’s foot being on the rope.

Rating: D. Once we got past the point where they were obviously stalling for time, this got into the regularly not great Undertaker vs. Austin match. These two just don’t work that well together and they never have. Unfortunately this was much more about Austin than either wrestler and that’s almost never a good sign. This went on for twenty seven minutes but Van Dam and Guerrero couldn’t even get twelve. That sums up so many of Raw’s problems in one match. Oh and the NWO never did a thing and really just came out to take attention away from the match.

Austin Stuns Undertaker again.

Flair is shown the footage of Austin’s boot on the ropes and swears.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Al Snow/Maven

Snow and Eyebrows Huffman are challenging. The champs jump them at the bell as JR makes gay jokes. The fight heads to the floor and Maven whips Billy into Snow to knock him off the apron. That means nothing though as the tag brings Snow in for some right hands until Chuck punches him down.

As expected, the announcers talk about Tough Enough instead of the match. That’s closer than they usually get at least. Snow gets in a drop toehold and it’s time for wacky unintentional sexually suggestive poses. Everything breaks down again and Rico kicks Chuck by mistake. Maven’s high crossbody gets two but another Rico distraction sets up the Jungle Kick to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was fine for what it was as they were only supposed to bridge the gap between the main events. You’re only going to get so much out of this student/teacher team and now it’s time to go somewhere else for the title shot. Unfortunately I have no idea who gets that shot as there really isn’t a division at the moment.

We recap HHH vs. Hulk Hogan which is the big finale to the Hogan nostalgia train. Vince gave Hogan the title shot for no real reason other than Hogan is popular and there’s nothing wrong with that. What has been wrong has been the horribly dull feud with HHH being serious and Hogan being Hogan. They really don’t have a reason to hate each other and the lame attempts to build up issues haven’t worked.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

HHH is defending and the graphic still has both belts for some reason. They do the big shoving match to start so I guess HHH is Ultimate Warrior in some weird revenge for Wrestlemania XII. Now it’s the lockup as JR keeps reminding us what a physical matchup this is. Like, did you know that HHH is really strong too?

Now it’s a fight over a top wristlock and then a headlock from Hogan. It would be nice if they approached first gear any time now. Hogan loses the bandana and presumably his strength as HHH hammers away in the corner. A backdrop and clotheslines give Hogan some offense and it’s time for brawling on the floor. HHH gets the better of it as a weak chant for the champ starts up.

A catapult sets up a rollup to give Hogan two and in the only moment of this match that I remember, Hogan uses a Diamond Cutter for two more. Of all the moves Hogan can use (and by that I mean about five), a Diamond Cutter? HHH starts in on the knee and gets booed out of the ring for it. Well to be fair would you want to start another phase of this match? As expected HHH turns into Ric Flair, who always had so much success against Hogan.

We hit a leg lock for a bit until Hogan kicks off the Figure Four. It’s right back to the knee though as the boring continues with some choking from the champ. The Figure Four goes on to make this match go on even longer in some form of torture. Like really, who was putting this show together and though “Hogan should get twenty minutes! That’s the ticket!”?

The hold is turned over and broken so we hit a sleeper as JR keeps trying to push the idea that the fans are the only thing keeping Hogan alive here. Two arm drops later, Hogan starts fighting up and gets in a belly to back suplex so he can have another rest. A running ax handle (Holy Japan!) sets up the big boot but here’s Jericho (duh) to take out the referee.

Jericho hits a loud chair shot to Hogan’s head but HHH would rather beat on Jericho instead of covering. It’s Hulk Up time and Hogan does the usual, only to miss the legdrop. There’s a Pedigree but here’s Undertaker to take out the referee. A chair to HHH’s head looks to finish but we get ANOTHER Hulk Up so Hogan can beat on Undertaker. With the big man dispatched, Hogan drops the leg to get the title back.

Rating: D-. While not as bad as some of Hogan’s WCW stuff (Mainly because of HHH. Ok all because of HHH.), this was REALLY boring as it went on probably ten minutes longer than it should have. Hogan is pure nostalgia and everyone in the company (save for him of course) knows it but for some reason we’re stuck watching him go out there for the better part of half an hour like he’s done…..maybe twice ever? Oh and well done on having HHH’s big title run last about a month. I’m so glad we spent months building that up for this kind of a reign.

A bloody HHH shakes Hogan’s hand so posing can take us out. Ignore the belt being nowhere in sight.

Overall Rating: D. There’s only so much you can do to get past the double main event. Angle vs. Edge and Van Dam vs. Guerrero are both good but they don’t combine to go as long as Austin vs. Undertaker. The rest of the show isn’t great either and there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see, save for maybe Angle vs. Edge. They really need a breath of fresh air on top and Hogan going out there and resting for more than half of an already too long match isn’t going to do it. There’s good stuff down the card but there’s no way around that double main event.

 

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In Your House #1
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

Other than the matches mentioned, the main story tonight is the WWF giving away an actual house down in Florida to play up the In Your House name. This was a major idea that was heavily promoted on WWF television leading up to the show. It was a nice marketing idea as it gave some adults a reason to care about the show and possibly buy it for their kids. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the clash of the giants as well as several other matches on the card.

It’s Mother’s Day, meaning the announcers are going to talk about moms a lot tonight.

The set is exactly what you would expect: a big house with the wrestlers walking through the garage to get to the ring.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Hakushi has his manager Shinja with him. Bret is in the back and says he’s going to prove how great he is and that he’s dedicated this match to his mother. How nice of him. Hakushi is a very unique looking wrestler as he has Japanese characters all over himself, giving him a nickname of the walking Japanese menu. Bret grabs a headlock to start but Hakushi easily escapes to a standoff. Now Bret tries the arm, only to be pulled to the mat by the hair.

The fans chant USA as Hakushi takes Bret down with a flying headbutt for two. Off to an armbar as this is still firmly in first gear. The stupid USA chant begins again, or maybe they’re all fans of the referee? Now it’s Bret on the arm before easily armdragging Hakushi down again, this time to the floor for a breather. Back in and Bret pounds away as things start to pick up again. Hakushi comes back with a kick to the face and what we would call a Vader Bomb for two.

Jerry Lawler is watching gleefully in the back as he still gets to face Bret later in the night. Hakushi stomps Bret down in the corner and hits what we would call a Bronco Buster before stopping to pose. Back up and Hakushi blocks an O’Connor Roll, sending Bret to the floor so he can be stomped even more by Shinja. Another Shinja distraction allows Hakushi to choke even more as the crowd is getting into this. Bret’s comeback is easily stopped by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, setting up a swan dive headbutt from Hakushi for two. Hakushi’s springboard splash misses completely and Bret is back on his feet.

Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom (Russian legsweep, backbreaker, middle rope elbow, atomic drop, Sharpshooter, pick an order for the first four) but he has to stop and deal with Shinja again. Bret pounds away on Hakushi but gets tripped by Shinja AGAIN, finally causing him to dive through the ropes and pound the man in the white suit.

Back in and Hart reverses a suplex into one of his own, sending both guys out to the floor in a nice crash. Shinja’s distraction allows Hakushi to get back up and hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys down again. Hart’s ankle might have been twisted in the process. Bret is pulled back in but has his rollup countered into an attempted German suplex, only to counter that into a victory roll to finally beat Hakushi.

Rating: B. Really solid match here and a great way to open up the show as well as the series. Hakushi wasn’t really much of note after this but that’s what Bret was best at: getting the most out of anyone he worked with. Really fun match here which had the time to get going and build into what it needed to be.

Bret twists his knee getting to the floor.

A way too excited woman looks at the entries in the sweepstakes for the house. We even get a video of the truck bringing the entries here earlier today. Seriously.

Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

Handicap match here after Roadie (more famous as the Road Dogg) helped Jarrett take Razor’s Intercontinental Title at the Royal Rumble. Razor’s normal partner the 1-2-3 Kid is out with an injury and calls in to say he’s watching the match. In the back, Razor also dedicates this match to his mom. Vince yells about Roadie and Jarrett both being in the ring to start, prompting Hayes to say that Vince doesn’t make the rules around here in a funny line.

Jarrett starts for the team and is promptly punched down and then slapped in the face. Roadie is lurking around the floor before getting back up on the apron. Back in and Jeff misses a dropkick before being clotheslined hard out to the floor. Roadie gets in a cheap shot to take Razor down from behind, allowing Jarrett to connect with an enziguri to take over. Not that it matters though as Ramon catches Jeff’s cross body in the fallaway slam for two.

Roadie comes in for his first match and scores with a quick clothesline and a snapmare to put him down. Back to Jarrett who gets a quick two off a sunset flip before Razor gets the same off a small package. Not exactly thrilling stuff so far but they’re not boring the people to death. After more basic stuff from Roadie it’s back to Jeff, only to have him jump right into a punch to the ribs. Razor is backdropped out to the floor and there goes his bad knee again. Roadie adds a middle rope clothesline and Ramon is in big trouble.

Back in and Ramon is dazed but still manages to roll through a top rope cross body from Jeff into a two count, only to be taken right back down with a neckbreaker. Jeff’s running hip attack only hits ropes but Razor collides with him, putting both guys down again. Ramon has the word Kid written on his boots. Back up again and Razor hits a belly to back suplex, putting both guys down one more time.

Jeff is able to make the tag before Razor can get up and it’s Roadie hitting a middle rope knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Razor fights up and jawbreaks his way to freedom, putting both guys down for the third time in five minutes. Razor suplexes both guys down but Jeff goes to the bad knee to slow him up. The Figure Four is kicked away though, sending Jeff into Roadie and a quick Razor’s Edge takes Jeff out for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it could have been the same match in about half the time. On top of that the knee injury really didn’t play much of a role in the match after the announcers talked so much about how bad Razor’s knee was. This feud wouldn’t last much longer but it worked pretty well for both Jarrett and Ramon.

Post match the heels go after the knee but Portuguese wrestler Aldo Montoya tries to make the save. That goes nowhere so here’s yet to be named Savio Vega from the crowd for the real save, only to have him be taken away by police.

Jerry Lawler wants to face Bret right now but president Jack Tunney says no.

Video on Sid dominating his way to the title match tonight.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb is about 6’4 and over 300lb but Mabel towers over him at 6’10 and 508lb. Mabel has recently turned heel so he jumps Bomb before the bell rings. A splash in the corner has Bomb in trouble but he comes back with right hands to send Mabel to the floor. Adam dives out onto Mabel and pounds away before sending him back inside for a pair of top rope clotheslines, getting two each. Not that it matters much though as Mabel catches Adam’s cross body and falls down on him (think Mark Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam) for the pin in less than two minutes. Mabel was his usual fat and worthless self here.

Razor introduces the man that saved him as Caribbean wrestling legend Savio Vega.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart

Yokozuna was Owen’s mystery partner at Wrestlemania where they took the belts from the Gunns. Lawler is out here again but still can’t get his match with Bret at the moment. The champions are managed by Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Billy tries to grab a headlock on the 600lb+ Yokozuna and it works as well as you would expect it to. A pair of dropkicks work a bit better but Yoko headbutts Bart down before bringing in Owen.

The Gunns can handle a guy Owen’s size and take him down with a nice dropkick/suplex combination, only to go after Yoko again for some reason. Hart comes back with an enziguri to take Billy down before it’s back to Yoko for a big clothesline. We hit the nerve hold on Billy before it’s back to Owen who gets two off a neckbreaker.

A great looking enziguri puts Billy on the outside but he avoids a charge, sending Yoko into the post. Owen misses a charge of his own and there’s the somewhat hot tag off to Bart. A suplex puts Hart down and the Gunns hit a belly to back/neckbreaker combo for another two before Bart misses a dive and lands on the floor. Yoko drops a leg to crush him ever further before throwing him back in to Owen for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t anything great but with less than six minutes there’s only so much they could have done. The problem with Yokozuna is there’s only so much anyone can do against him and it makes it hard to work around him. Not a horrible match due to Owen but it still wasn’t anything of note.

Diesel is sad because his mom died right after Christmas so he wishes all the other Mother’s a good day. He’s sore from an attack by Henry Godwinn but says he’s 100%. Diesel is also glad that Shawn Michaels will be watching at ringside.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring with his…..mother, who looks to be about 24 years old. She wants to see Lawler, who is in his mid 40s here, beat Bret and then challenge Bret’s mom to a fight. We cut to the back to see Bret almost dancing because, in classic Hart fashion, he faked the injury.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12^th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

Post match Bret gets up but Lawler escapes with his “mom”.

Sid very slowly says he’ll win the title and that he rules the world.

We look at the sweepstakes house in Orlando. Interviewer Todd Petingill finds some rakes in the garage so he and the annoying interview can mix up the entries before drawing out the winner whom they call with the results. Thankfully this only takes about five minutes.

The announcers talk about the main event for a bit.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending of course and Sid has Ted DiBiase as his manager. The idea here is they both use powerbombs as their finishers, which should tell you a lot about this match. Diesel fires off forearms to start and hits some running clotheslines in the corner to stagger Sid. An elbow to the jaw puts Sid on the floor and it’s time for a breather. Back in and three straight clotheslines get two on Sid as this is all Diesel so far. Sid pulls Diesel to the outside and knocks him down to take over for the first time.

Diesel is sent into the apron and post as the match slows way down with the challenger in control. A running boot to the side of the head has Diesel in even more trouble before they head back inside for clubbing forearms to Diesel’s back. Sid stops to pose, meaning he didn’t pay attention to the opening match. More shots to the back have Diesel in even more trouble and we hit a camel clutch. After about a minute and a half in the hold Diesel fights out, only to have Sid cannonball down onto his back for two.

Back to the camel clutch with Sid leaning forward, as in the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing. At least pull your arms back man. Diesel starts breaking it, presumably out of boredom, and avoids a second cannonball attempt. Not that it matters though as Sid chokeslams him down and hits a quick powerbomb but poses instead of covering. DiBiase freaks out until Diesel is up at about two and one tenth. Diesel avoids a charge into the corner and drops Sid face first onto the buckle. There are the big boot and the Jackknife powerbomb but DiBiase’s other man Tatanka comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. There’s a reason you rarely see matches with the same style going for a long time: they’re not very good. The styles clash is too much to overcome and when it’s such a basic style like these two have, it doesn’t work well at all. Two similar styles can work, but you better be awesome at that style. Sid isn’t particularly good at anything in the ring and this was a prime example.

Sid, Tatanka and DiBiase triple team Diesel until Bam Bam Bigelow, a man DiBiase fired a month earlier, makes the save. Wasn’t Shawn supposed to be watching live?

Overall Rating: D+. The opening match was solid stuff but after that everything flew by until the horrible main event. This was a bad time for the company as Diesel wasn’t very interesting on top of the card but he could have good matches with the right opponents. Sid was so far from the right opponent that he was left, making for a bad match. Not much to see here but things would get a lot better. Also, the show only ran for 96 minutes, which just isn’t enough to go anywhere.

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Monday Nitro #288
Date: March 26, 2001
Location: Boardwalk Beach Resort, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I can’t believe I actually typed that. After over five and a half years, we’ve actually arrived at the final episode of Monday Nitro. Tonight is the Night of Champions show with every title being defended. Other than that there’s been an open call to all former WCW World Champions to show up and bring their gear. That could be interesting or a big disappointment and I’ll let you guess which I’m expecting. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon standing in front of the Raw interview set. There had been rumors that something big was coming but if you thought WCW was going to survive after this, you really were in denial. Vince gives us the famous quote of “the very fate of WCW is in my hands” and that’s pretty much it for WCW. Yeah there were plans for WCW to continue, but you had to know that Vince was going to crush them given his track record.

Opening sequence.

The outside sets are still really cool and look so different than anything else most companies would do.

The announcers aren’t sure what to think. It’s so strange to hear his name mentioned on Nitro.

Here’s Ric Flair, instantly a face for the final show, with something to say. Ric thinks he heard Vince McMahon say he would hold WCW in the palms of his hand. So he’s going to hold Jack Brisco, Dory Funk, Harley Race (none of whom actually wrestled in WCW but close enough), the Road Warriors, Lex Luger and Sting in the palm of his hand? Not on Flair’s watch.

Flair is a fourteen time World Champion (as the title count is a different number here despite him winning no more titles and despite him saying he’s a 20-something time champion because it’s all over the place) and this is a company that has run neck and neck with Vince for years. Yeah I think it’s like two or three years but whatever. Vince’s dad voted for Flair to be the World Champion (you don’t often hear Flair break kayfabe like that) back in the 1970s and he’s been flying around the world ever since.

This company has always been about the boys and Vince can’t hold them in his hands. Vince hasn’t bled for forty five minutes and wrestled for an hour before going to the next town and doing it all again the next night. In closing, Flair says his greatest opponent has been Sting. Tonight, he wants Sting one more time as it’s his last chance to beat the man.

This was a really passionate speech and Flair was the only one who could give it due to his history and resume in wrestling. The problem is that he’s wrong about how WCW is going to be remembered. A lot of people are going to remember it as the wrestling based company (and it was) but a lot of people are also going to remember it as the company that set the standard for being the biggest money pit that wrestling has ever seen.

Now Flair is definitely in the previous camp of the two as he really never was in with the crowd that brought WCW down and always stood for tradition. I liked the idea here and Flair sold it very well but it’s hard to accept WCW as this great company that Vince just pulled the plug on one day.

Macho Man Slim Jim ad, just for old times’ sake I guess.

WCW World Title/US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

Title vs. title. Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Scott Hudson asks when the last time the US Champion faced the World Champion as he’s supposed to do “every single night”. That’s why I’ve never liked that rule and was glad when WCW stopped enforcing it. If the US Champion is the #1 contender by definition, wouldn’t that be the only World Title match we ever get?

Booker hammers away in the corner until Scott sends him outside but misses a pipe shot by hitting the post by mistake. Hudson: “He almost split the post with that pipe!” No Scott, he didn’t. A belly to belly gets two on Booker. Steiner cranks on both arms but gets dropkicked down. The Ghetto Blaster and Spinarooni set up a side kick, followed by the Book End to give us a new World Champion.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This felt like a quick TV Title match for the sake of getting the titles on the show instead of something big. I know they wanted to give the title to a top face but opening the show with a five minute match? I’m curious to see what else they feel deserves this time instead of this match.

Video on Spring Break. Eh it’s a sponsor thing so I guess they have to do this.

Vince is on the phone with his attorney and laughs at the idea of WCW holding its last show in the Florida panhandle.

Jung Dragons vs. 3 Count vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Winner gets a Cruiserweight Tag Team Title match later tonight. Kidman headscissors Yang to start but everything breaks down in the first thirty seconds. Everyone heads outside with Shannon hitting a big corkscrew dive, leaving Yang to hit Yang Time for two on Rey as Kidman makes the save. Bottoms Up plants Kidman with Kaz making the save this time. Karagias hits a 450 on Kaz for two more but Kidman knocks him out to the floor. Back in and Rey hits a quick springboard legdrop to pin Moore and get the title shot.

Rating: C. This is another hard one to grade as it’s about three and a half minutes long with everyone flying all over the place and no structure whatsoever. They probably could have been cut off the show without missing anything and the time could have been giving to the World Title match but I’ve heard worse ideas. That being said, I would have liked to see 3 Count, Noble/Karagias or the Dragons get a title shot, if nothing else as a thank you for everything they did for six months.

Trish Stratus comes in to see Vince and I think you can guess what happens.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Shane is defending. Chavo drives him into the corner to start but gets caught in the fireman’s carry facebuster for two. A belly to back puts the champ down but he pops back up top for a sunset flip. Chavo gets two more off a northern lights suplex and ducks a superkick. The second superkick connects though and the Vertebreaker retains Helms’ title.

Rating: C+. Another short match but I like the idea of putting Shane over again. Helms has been awesome and deserves to go out as champion. It’s good that both of these guys had long careers as they’re two of the only guys who looked like they were trying every single night in the last six months of WCW’s run. It’s even more impressive when you consider how different Shane’s character would become in the next few years.

We’re off to a commercial before Tony can even say who won.

Booker says he’s not done yet and is ready to fight anyone.

Trish has lost her jacket and here’s Michael Cole to interview Vince. Guess what his thoughts are on WCW fans’ concerns.

Tag Team Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo and O’Haire are defending after losing a non-title match last year. Sean and Storm start things off with O’Haire taking over and bringing in Chuck. That goes badly for the champs as Awesome slingshots in with a splash for two. Back to Storm who is catapulted into the buckle and staggers back into a sunset flip for another near fall. The hot tag brings in O’Haire to clean house and the reverse AA gets two on Awesome. Everything breaks down and the Jungle Kick into the Seanton Bomb puts Awesome away to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This show is moving fast and the longest match so far is the opener. That being said, the wrestling is far from the point tonight with most of the show being about the atmosphere and making sure every champion gets one more match. Team Canada were good designated victims for O’Haire and Palumbo, who should have been bigger deals than they wound up being.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

THIS warranted a spot on the show? They really couldn’t have thrown this on Thunder instead? If Stasiak loses he gets tattooed. Stacy teases stripping before the match but just introduces Stasiak. Bigelow’s early offense goes nowhere but he ducks a top rope clothesline. Stacy gets on the apron to distract the referee as Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt. Greetings From Asbury Park is broken up by the blonde and the neckbreaker puts Bigelow away in a nothing match. This really didn’t need to be on the show.

William Regal tries to talk Vince out of buying WCW. I still love that Wrestlemania X7 baseball jersey.

Diamond Dallas Page has loved the ride and wants to know what’s next. Page thanks everyone who has been there for him but gives most of the credit to the fans. It’s time to take this to the next level.

Package on the WCW/NWA World Title. That’s a nice touch.

Vince says it’s about that time.

Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Rey Mysterio vs. Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper

Skipper and Romeo are defending. Skipper jumps Kidman on the way in as Tony rips on Regal because THAT needed to be done on this show. Kidman holds Skipper up for a springboard dropkick from Mysterio as they’re clearly going very fast. A quick double team puts Kidman in trouble and Skipper Matrixes out of a cross body.

Romeo misses a high cross body of his own and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house. Everything breaks down and a baseball slide low blow sets up the Bronco Buster on Skipper but Romeo saves him before Rey can go up top. Rey’s springboard falling headbutt gets two and the Kid Crusher on Elix gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. That’s it for the belts and really, it’s not like they meant anything in the first place. Romeo and Skipper had a total of maybe five matches together so it’s cool to see Kidman and Mysterio winding up as the final champions. They’ve been around for so long that they deserve one last title reign before this company goes under.

Sting is here and says there’s no way he would miss this night. As for his future, nothing’s for sure. IT’S SHOWTIME FOLKS!

Another Spring Break video.

Vince struts down the hall.

Ric Flair vs. Sting

Flair is wrestling in a t-shirt, which is probably in our best interest. Hudson puts over Sting as the only guy who never jumped. Sting shoves him down to start and Flair is already complaining of a hair pull. The announcers talk about the history between these two as Flair keeps bouncing off Sting. A quick thumb to the eye has Sting in a bit of trouble but, as has been the case for thirteen years, the chops have no effect. It wouldn’t feel right if they did. Ric heads outside for a breather before bailing from Sting’s….leapfrog?

Back in and Sting hits the gorilla press before raining down right hands in the corner. There’s the Flair Flop and Sting takes a quick bow. Flair gets in the required low blow but goes up top for one more slam. The clothesline train is broken up and there’s the Figure Four on Sting. A few bangs of the chest allow Sting to turn the hold over and it’s time to no sell some more chops. Sting grabs a superplex and throws on the Scorpion Deathlock to make Flair give up and end the final Nitro match.

Rating: B. That’s pure nostalgia and there really was no other option to end the show than Sting (well maybe one but we’ll get there in a second). Sting and Flair have a special connection to each other and even their TNA match felt somewhat special. This was all you could ask for out of a final match between them or from WCW and I smiled a lot as it went on.

On a side note though: is there a better way for WCW to go out? Not with the young guy winning the title back from the veteran monster. No, instead we have two guys past their primes as both athletes and draws but they’re having the main event slot because that’s how we did it in the old days and they’re the real stars. Oh and one of them was so out of shape that he had to wear a shirt instead of his regular gear. Of course it’s very different than the times that killed WCW but it’s kind of poetic in a way.

Sting and Flair hug and it’s time to go to the simulcast of Raw.

Vince is in the ring and says for the first time ever, this is being broadcast on both TNT and TNN. As you may have heard, he’s bought his competition and acquired WCW. However, the deal isn’t quite done yet because no one knows what to do with WCW. Time Warner has signed the contract but Vince is going to sign his part at Wrestlemania. Oh and he wants Ted Turner himself to walk down the aisle at Sports Entertainment Mania.

Vince has conquered wrestling and become a billionaire all by himself. Once Turner brings him the contract, Vince is going to have him sit in the corner and watch what Vince does to his son. This turns into a promo about Sunday’s McMahon vs. McMahon match and oh yeah this is about WCW. Vince brings up some WCW history and just lets out a lot of (never all of it) his bragging about finally beating them.

Maybe they could turn WCW into a big conglomerate but that brings up the question of who should be part of this new WCW. Fans: “GOLDBERG!” Hulk Hogan gets a very lukewarm reaction, Lex Luger gets NOTHING, Buff Bagwell actually gets a pop, Booker T., gets a bigger pop, Scott Steiner gets a roar (that’s a surprise) and the Goldberg chants cut Vince off. Sting gets another pop (though smaller than Bagwell’s actually) and Goldberg gets the loudest pop of the bunch.

Vince gets back to business and says he could have gone down to Florida and given everyone a piece of his mind. By piece of his mind, he means telling them that they’re fired of course. That’s what’s going to happen anyway because WCW is going on the shelf and it’s buried for good. Anyone who attempts to compete with him, including his son Shane, will be buried just like WCW. Vince yells a lot but here’s Shane……ON NITRO!

Shane is down in Panama City, Florida while Vince is in Cleveland and as usual, Vince’s ego has gotten the best of him. Vince wanted to finalize the deal at Wrestlemania but the deal has already been finalized. The name on the contract does say McMahon, but it says SHANE McMahon because he now owns WCW. Ignore the fact that Vince said Time Warner didn’t know Vince hadn’t signed yet so this doesn’t make a ton of sense. Just like WCW did in the past, Shane is going to take care of Vince at Wrestlemania. I lost it seeing this live and it still works very well all these years later.

Nitro wraps up with a graphic…..for Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Kane.

Oh wait we do get a good night and goodbye message…..with the word satellite underneath for some reason. One last production glitch for the road I guess.

Overall Rating: B. I really don’t know what to think of this show. The wrestling certainly wasn’t the point and they did a good job of making this feel like a fun show. Stasiak was the only heel to win all night and everything felt either fun or important with the titles (and Flair vs. Sting) being the only things that mattered. This show flies by and feels like an appropriate finale.

You could say that WCW could have brought in some more former stars and previous World Champions, but really that wouldn’t have made a lot of sense. WCW is going out of business because of how bad things were in the previous era. Do you really want to bring back those people and celebrate them? With all the horrible things people like Hogan and Nash caused for WCW, they really don’t belong on a show that is the closest thing to a celebration of the company we’re going to have.

As for the final storylines, many of which were abandoned, I was interested in finding out who was attacking the Magnificent Seven (never mentioned on this show) but I didn’t have a lot of hope for the storyline long term. At the end of the day, your top heels were Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Jarrett and the Steiner Brothers. Same guys, same big heel stable, same cruiserweight division stealing the show and being treated like nothing more than a warmup act. It was the same thing, as it always was again and again, just like Nitro was for years.

Now on to the final thoughts on the show as a whole, which are probably going to ramble a lot.

I liked the last Nitro and one major reason was because it felt completely different than any episode in years. Instead of a show that needed to be put out of its misery, it was actually fun for the first time in way too long. Yeah fun. Of all the problems Nitro had over the years, a big one was a lack of entertainment. Other than stuff from Jericho or a few one off lines from various people, how many fun things do you remember about this series? With that idea in mind, let’s go ahead and get to the big final thoughts on the series.

It’s safe to say that Nitro was definitely more adult oriented and serious than Raw but that doesn’t always work. There have literally been books written about how badly WCW screwed up over the years and I’m sure you’re familiar with all their various blunders, flat out stupid decisions, title messes and any other possible dumb thing they could have done so I won’t bother rehashing all of that again. Just remember: Vince Russo is MANLY.

Here’s what I find interesting: Nitro really was a change of pace for WCW. Do you remember how things were before it came on the air? Say, back in 1993? Remember how those shows went? With stuff like the British Bulldog main eventing and Sting vs. Nailz or the NWA being around for reasons that still make no sense? Even in 1994, it was Hogan vs. people like Brutus Beefcake, Earthquake and Kamala.

Then Nitro came along and changed things, but the first few months were hardly anything interesting. You had Hogan vs. the Dungeon of Doom (I still like them) and Ric Flair vs. the Giant but it took the Outsiders invading to take the show to new heights. Once Hogan showed up as the leader (which he didn’t do until eight days after Bash at the Beach, which is still ridiculous) and took the whole place over, there was no turning back for about a year.

Unfortunately, that was the peak of the show. Sting chasing Hogan and the build towards Starrcade 1997 was great but there was nothing after that. Goldberg winning the title was a great moment for one night but the show overall was turning into a mess as WCW scrambled to figure out what they could do to get back into the fight with Raw. By early 1999, Nitro was basically done as a real challenge and it only got worse after that.

So let’s say the good times started the night Hall jumped the barricade (May 27, 1996) and ended with the Fingerpoke of Doom (and that end date is a big stretch) on January 4, 1999. That’s less than three years where Nitro was good (Assuming you consider the 1997 shows to be good. I can go with must see TV but that doesn’t equal quality.) and the rest of the time ranged from not bad to some of the worst television in the history of wrestling.

That’s what people often forget about Nitro: in less than six years on the air, they were only good for about half their run. It’s really fascinating to me that Nitro is almost this fabled program that everyone remembers but Impact has been around twice as long as Nitro was and that’s more of a nuisance than anything else.

The point though is that Nitro was a game changer for WCW, but it was a short term change. WCW really wasn’t doing very well until Hogan came in and he could only carry them so far. They overtook the WWF on the strength of the NWO feud but once that ran out, the WWF came right back and WCW never came close again. Nitro was indeed a big deal, but it wasn’t something that put them on top for years and years, which shows you how rare it is for something to challenge Raw. To only be around that long and be the undisputed second biggest show ever in this era is quite an accomplishment.

Before I wrap this up, I have to mention some of the main reasons fans stuck around with Nitro. Over the years, there were WAY too many great matches to count between combinations of Eddie Guerrero, Raven, Diamond Dallas Page, Chris Benoit, Booker T., Saturn, Ric Flair and so many other names of workhorses who were the backbone of WCW and held the show together with great wrestling while the big names got the glory after putting in almost no quality work. Those guys are the forgotten heroes of Nitro and I’m glad that so many of them got to go elsewhere and have another run in their careers.

In addition to those bigger name wrestlers, Nitro also showcased a bunch of guys who almost never got any recognition in America. These guys were all talented and could put on a really fun show when they were given the chance. One of the best examples of this would be from June 7, 1999 with Ciclope/Damien vs. La Parka/Silver King in a hardcore match. These guys knew they weren’t going to get much TV time aside from this so they beat the heck out of each other and had one of the best surprise matches you’ll ever find. Check this out if you want to see four guys just beat each other up and have a great time doing so.

That’s why people stuck with Nitro as long as they did: sure the main event scene was going to be a bogged down mess that might offer one or two watchable matches a year but the undercard had the potential to offer you a show stealing classic on any given week. You never knew what the likes of Kanyon, Mysterio, Kidman, Malenko, Jericho, Guerrera and so many other names could pull off. There was even the hope that the new generation might rise up and become something, but once so many names left for the WWF in a year’s time, they took that hope with them. For me, that’s when WCW really died: when the hope left.

Overall, Nitro was a show that came, made a huge splash and then exploded into a huge fireball like nothing else in wrestling history. It definitely had some good moments (the Sting Army always springs to mind) and I was a huge fan growing up but by the middle of 1997 it was clear that the WWF was on the rise and WCW was going to have to step up its game to hold on. It gave fans another choice though and lit a very necessary fire under Vince that gave us some great Raw content as a result. If Nitro had one positive lasting legacy, it’s how good it made things on Raw and in a way we should be thankful for it.

That being said, Nitro really wasn’t the best show. The wrestling wasn’t great (though there were some bright spots, including some very good Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair matches and of course Benoit vs. Hart) and it was high on drama which was hit or miss, but there was an aggressiveness and an attitude in the early days that made you take notice. Once that left though, it was basically Impact with a bigger budget: copying whatever the WWF was doing and hoping to steal enough of an audience for one more big move.

There comes a point where you have to deliver something good on its own though and I don’t think WCW really knew how to do that. They knew how to have a big idea (or variations of that same big idea) and have a great start to a story but after that it would fall apart again due to a combination of incompetence, people with too much creative control, stupid politics or just bad wrestling.

That’s a major reason the WWF won in the end: all the stuff they would build up often resulted in a great payoff match at the end. With WCW, it usually led to Nash/Hogan/Luger/someone else having a bad match and bragging about how awesome it was while the fans changed the channel to see what Austin was up to next. Other than a few occasions, WCW never had that must see guy who could have the big match that people wanted to see. When they did, they stuck a taser in his chest so Nash could win the World Title.

I’m not going to miss watching Nitro, though I do miss part of having it around. As a kid I watched every week no matter what, but looking back it’s amazing that the show lasted as long as it did. It was put out of its misery at the end though and I have no reason to believe it was going to get any better (long term that is) under new ownership. It was WCW’s nature to find a way to mess things up and they had nothing to counter everything going on in the WWF.

Nitro may not be the whipping boy that the WWE likes to remember it as, but it’s also hardly this great show that was killed off too soon. That company ate itself alive and you could watch a lot of that happen every single week on Nitro. There are some good things to remember but there are far more moments where you wonder how they actually got this bad and still stayed on the air as long as they did. I can’t say I’m glad its gone but I really don’t miss sitting through that kind of self destruction week to week. That’s what Smackdown is for.

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SuperBrawl Revenge
Date: February 18, 2001
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 4,395
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

I’m still not sure what the REVENGE subtitle is referring to but it might be due to the fact that we’ve seen several of these matches on TV in recent weeks. The main event is Kevin Nash challenging Scott Steiner for the World Title in a match we saw just six days ago on Nitro. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like something out of a serial killer movie with someone cutting out pictures of Ric Flair and cutting words like PSYCHO and GREED out of magazines and newspapers. No idea what it meant but at least it looked cool.

Jamie Knoble vs. Evan Karagias vs. Kaz Hayashi vs. Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Shane Helms

Elimination match for the #1 contendership. Helms is a replacement after Animal attacked Kidman so we can have these six opening ANOTHER pay per view. Thankfully there are tags here so it won’t be as insane to keep track of. Well at least to start because there’s no way the tags last. Jamie and Shannon start things off but Shane comes in with Shannon tossing Jamie into a powerbomb for two.

Even sends 3 Count to the floor with the Dragons hitting stereo Asai Moonsaults (which the camera mostly misses). Back in and the Dragons double team Jamie, followed by Kaz headscissoring him into the middle turnbuckle. Jamie fights back and it’s off to Evan to beat on Yang. I know it’s not exactly a surprise but it would have been nice to not have a three way tag for a change.

Karagias plants Yang with a full nelson slam and then almost completely misses a springboard dive. Shane tags himself in and goes nuts on Evan before getting spun around into a rollup by Yang. Things are starting to speed up a bit with the Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combination getting two on Yang as Kaz makes the save. Tony says anyone could have made a save and Hudson talks about how anyone should have because he doesn’t know the rules of this thing.

The tags start getting much faster until Kaz starts cleaning house, only to have Evan drive him into the corner. Shane pops up with a top rope superplex to drop Kaz, followed by FIVE straight missed top rope moves to put all six down. Hudson: “The first man to his feet has to be the legal man.” No Scott, that’s not how wrestling works.

Kaz springboards into a kick to Evan’s head, only to get kicked into an X Plex from Shane. Evan hits a good looking springboard dive to take out Shane and Yang on the floor. We get the parade of dives with Jamie going last and being the only man standing. Back in and Evan gorilla presses Kaz into a spinebuster for two, followed by a powerbomb/missile dropkick combo but Jamie and Evan fight over who gets to cover. Guys don’t listen to Scott Hudson. It just destroys your career. In the melee, Yang grabs an over the back piledriver on Evan for the first elimination.

Jamie slips back in and grabs a tombstone to get rid of Yang to get us down to four. 3 Count’s double team doesn’t work as Jamie dropkicks Shannon into the barricade, only to have Shannon come back in with a super Bottoms Up for the pin on Noble. So we’re down to Shannon, Shane and Kaz with the team looking down at Hayashi. Hudson tries to say there are no teams here because he thinks we might believe him. In a fairly scary looking spot, Shannon backslides Kaz and Shane adds a guillotine legdrop at the same time.

Shane calls for the Vertebreaker but Shannon gives him the Bottoms Up in a quick turn. We get a ref bump on the save (STOP DOING THAT!) so Shane can kick out but Shannon low blows him right back down. Kaz and Shannon double team him for a bit before Kaz throws Moore outside. Shane gets back up and hits the Nightmare on Helm Street to eliminate Shannon and we’re down to two. Kaz rolls through a top rope sunset flip and kicks Shane in the face for two, only to get caught in the Vertebreaker to give Shane the title shot.

Rating: B. The match was the fun you would expect from these six but it’s getting really tiresome to see WCW putting them against each other over and over again. It’s cool to see them get some time like this (over seventeen minutes, the longest match on the show) but of course it’s the opener and the match is likely to be forgotten in about an hour because that’s where these guys belong.

Earlier today Chavo Guerrero was with Animal and Ric Flair but we can’t hear what was said. Chavo was upset though.

Hugh Morrus says General Rection did a lot of good things for the Wall in WCW but then Rection (he’s speaking like Rection is a different person) felt Wall’s betrayal. Tonight it’s Hugh Morrus, who has nothing but hatred in his heart.

Ric gives Scott Steiner an envelope that contains Kevin Nash’s future. Scott is very pleased by this.

Commissioner Lance Storm tells Kronik (arriving half an hour into the show) that Clark has to be seen by the company doctor before he can wrestle tonight. The Brian/Bryan’s don’t seem to mind.

Hugh Morrus vs. The Wall

Grudge match following the split of the Misfits in Action. Wall hammers away to start and gets an impressive looking shoulder to knock Morrus outside. Morrus comes back with a hard shot of his own and sends Wall into the steps, which he uses to crush Wall’s head up against the post. They get back in after a few minutes on the floor with Hugh dropping a top rope elbow for no cover.

Wall comes back with some big chops, followed by headbutts in the corner. Morrus avoids a top rope legdrop and both guys are down again. A spinebuster plants Morrus and keeps up the string of hard hitting moves. Back up and Wall gets flapjacked so we can have another double breather. They slug it out from their knees, which Hudson describes as not wrestling of any type. Then why exactly am I watching? Morrus gets up first and hits a German suplex to set up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. This started off well with them beating on each other with heavy shots that looked like they did a lot of damage but then the ridiculous amount of laying around after big spots got annoying in a hurry. Cut this match down by about two or three minutes and it’s actually a fun power brawl but it was clear that they were out there too long. Wall didn’t look as horrible here, which is high praise in his case.

Konnan goes after Animal for what he did to Kidman.

We recap the battle of the Thrillers, which is basically about who has the Tag Team Titles, which set up a rivalry over who were the stars of the team.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mark Jindrak/Shawn Stasiak

O’Haire and Palumbo are defending. Before the match, both teams say they’re awesome and promise a win. A quick brawl breaks out at the bell before Stasiak clotheslines O’Haire to start. Sean sends Jindrak throat first into the ropes though, allowing Palumbo to get in a dropkick to the face. The champs take over with Palumbo jumping over his partner to land on Mark’s ribs before grabbing a sleeper.

Stasiak actually does something right for a change as he distracts Palumbo so Mark can get in a clothesline to take over. A double clothesline into a double nipup into a double elbow drop let the challengers show off a bit, only to have Palumbo hit that insanely hard right hand on Stasiak’s jaw. It’s not enough for the tag though as Jindrak takes him back into the corner for more stomping.

Mark grabs the chinlock on Palumbo as they’re doing the smart thing here by waiting on the hot tag to O’Haire, who is by far the most interesting of these four. Back to Stasiak for an armbar before Jindrak grabs a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. They’re certainly giving Stasiak and Jindrak a bunch of offense.

Shawn misses a top rope splash (which would have overshot Palumbo by three feet anyway) and the hot tag finally brings in O’Haire to a moderate pop. That’s not bad considering there’s no reason to cheer the champs, who never have done anything to turn face. Everything breaks down and Stasiak has to pull his partner away before the Seanton Bomb can launch. Not that it matters as Palumbo Jungle Kicks Shawn down, setting up the Seanton to retain.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here and the clean finish did a lot of good here. Sometimes you just need one side to come off as the better team and that’s what happened in this match. O’Haire looks like a star and I’m really surprised he didn’t become a bigger deal in wrestling due to his look and athleticism alone. The other three were average at best (Palumbo) and a warm body at worst (Stasiak) with all four of them really needing personalities and/or characters.

Dustin Rhodes blames Ric Flair for keeping him out of WCW. Tonight he’s drawing first blood on his team. After that, you will never forget the name of Dustin Rhodes.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo is defending after Rey won a gauntlet match earlier in the month. Rey starts fast with a running clothesline as you can see far too many empty seats in the upper deck. The champ sends him to the apron for an attempted sunset bomb which is countered into a hurricanrana to send Chavo flying. Back in and Chavo drapes him ribs first across the top rope.

Going after Rey’s ribs has worked for years so there’s no reason to not go for it again. Rey gets tied up in the Tree of Woe to work on the knee but Chavo stays on the ribs. Now that’s just versatility. It’s time for the Gory Special for a bit with Chavo teasing the Gory Bomb (not Gory Buster, no matter how many times the announcers try to refer to it as such). Rey escapes and tries a springboard, only to dive into a dropkick to the ribs. This has been all Chavo as he keeps countering everything Rey throws at him.

There’s an STF of all things before Chavo sends him outside. Rey comes up holding his knee which is quickly sent into the steps. Chavo steals a fan’s Mysterio mask and puts it on Rey before grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Rey crotches him on the turnbuckle, setting up a hurricanrana as the mask comes off. Chavo takes a breather outside so Rey flip dives over the top to take him out as he FINALLY starts acting like himself. Another springboard goes badly for Rey though as he bangs up his knee, also just like himself.

It’s time for a chair because….well I have no idea actually. Rey sends Chavo into the buckle and tries a hurricanrana, which finally sends Chavo outside after two botches. Hudson praises Rey’s execution, which Tony says is appropriate since he almost killed Chavo. That was far too close to being amusing. Cut it out Schiavone. Back in and the Bronco Buster hits Guerrero as Rey is way too healthy in a hurry. Rey goes for a chair so Chavo finds another one to crack Rey in the head, setting up the brainbuster to retain the title.

Rating: B+. What is with this show tonight? We’re almost halfway in and there has been one bad (and not even that bad) match so far. Chavo was basically wrestling himself for most of this match, which you really don’t expect out of Rey. To be fair though there’s a good chance that Mysterio is injured or at least banged up as he was so often. Chavo on the other hand is looking like the best champion in years and his matches are getting better and better every time.

Commissioner Storm moves up Kronik’s match, meaning Clark might not be tested in time.

We recap Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Steiner, which is basically “Dustin is back and was here ten years ago so therefore he’s awesome” and Rick Steiner is here because he has to be.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Dustin Rhodes

Steiner is defending after Dustin pinned him on Nitro. Dustin starts fast with a DDT and clothesline as we hear about the Rhodes vs. Flair feud. A missed crossbody sends Dustin outside and it’s time for the brawling. Rick slowly pounds away and rakes the eyes, making sure he has as little wrestling involved as possible.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s off to a half crab. It’s off to another chinlock until Dustin gets a jawbreaker (more like a Diamond Cutter) to escape. A clothesline puts Rick down again but he won’t sell a faceplant. Dustin’s bulldog sends the champ outside but the referee takes a chair away from Rhodes. During the argument, Rick takes the turnbuckle pad off and a hotshot onto the steel retains the title.

Rating: D. Rick Steiner sucks and I’m not sure I need to go much further than that. It doesn’t help that Dustin is such an uninteresting character with his clotheslines and bulldogs as we wait on the latest chapter in Dusty vs. Ric. This is probably the best example of WCW’s biggest problem: old guys hogging spots with no one else ever getting a chance. I’m no fan of his but Shane Douglas has been tossed aside in this whole thing for the sake of Steiner and that’s a downgrade at this point. At least Shane can cut a good heel promo.

Post match Rick beats on him even more but Dustin fights back and hits Shattered Dreams.

Ric tells Storm that everyone not on their team needs to be out of the building after their match. Also, Kronik vs. Totally Buff is now a #1 contenders match. Storm says consider it done. This has been your most recent plot advancement.

Diamond Dallas Page gives Cat a pep talk.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

Before the match, Totally Buff has to laugh that Goldberg is gone. After getting through that, Buff says Clark hasn’t been medically released so this is a handicap match. Clark comes out but gets blasted in the head by a Buff chair shot to really make this two on one. Bagwell keeps moving to break up a full nelson slam and it’s an early double teaming to keep Adams in trouble. A double back elbow gets two and it’s off to Luger to stay on the back.

Adams makes a big comeback with some clotheslines and throws Bagwell at Luger. The super Blockbuster is broken up and here’s Clark into the ring as…..Bryan Clark comes out to the stage. IT’S A SWERVE as the Clark who was laid out earlier (when Kronik’s mood lighting was still on) was actually Mike Awesome in disguise. Mike lays out Adams with a German suplex, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin and the title shot at Greed.

Rating: D-. When I have to sit and try to figure out how many parts there were to a swerve, it might be a bit too complicated. It also doesn’t help that this is a match we’ve seen so many times already in recent weeks that all the novelty or interest in it has gone away. Bad on so many levels, not the least of which is Luger getting a title shot at the next pay per view.

The announcers talk about the swerve with Hudson pointing out that Storm must have been in on it, not realizing that Tony JUST SAID THAT. Bobby Heenan used to do that as a gag with Monsoon. Hudson does it because he’s not that bright.

Storm ejects Kronik from the building but they beat up security.

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Winner is Commissioner, though if Cat wins it doesn’t take effect until midnight. Before the match we get a quick fan poll to decide who the people want as commissioner. Storm rides him to the mat to start and slaps him in the back of the head for fun. A spinning kick to the face sends Lance outside but he sends Cat into the barricade. Cat’s leg is bent around the ropes to start the build towards the Mapleleaf. Hudson says Cat won’t give up that easily because he wants that corner office back.

Storm kicks the leg out to break up a comeback bid but he takes too long going up and gets slammed back down. The leg is wrapped around the post though and Cat is down again. That lasts all of ten seconds before he comes back with his dancing offense, including the elbow drop. There’s a kick to the head but cue Mike Sanders, who is quickly taken down by Miss Jones (who is looking great tonight). The Feliner puts Storm away and makes Cat Commissioner again.

Rating: D. Thank goodness our six day international crisis is over. This could have been a lot worse but the key thing here was keeping it short. Cat is only going to be able to do so much in the ring, even with a technician like Storm out there doing most of the work for him. This was more of a spectacle, but Storm really should have been out of power longer.

Quick recap of Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page, which is mainly over Jarrett having Page arrested (went nowhere) before bringing Page’s old enemy Kanyon back to feud with Page again.

Cat is the new Commissioner but Ric has thrown him out of the building.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Not so fast because Jeff brings up Page saying he would fight Kanyon anywhere anytime.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon

Kanyon sneaks in from behind but Page is ready for him with the discus lariat. They head outside with Kanyon going into the barricade a few times. Kanyon sends him in as well though, followed by a Fameasser from the apron onto the steps. Page has some blood on his eye as Kanyon suplexes him from the bottom rope back in for two. Another Fameasser (which Tony calls innovative) gets two more for Kanyon and we hit an innovative chinlock.

Back up and Kanyon uses Page’s swinging neckbreaker for two as there is a lot more blood in a hurry. Page fights back with a swinging Rock Bottom, only to eat a sitout Alabama Slam for another near fall. Kanyon hits the Cutter but the referee goes down, allowing Jarrett to come in with the Stroke. A Flatliner puts Page away.

Rating: C+. These are two guys who are going to have a good match with almost anyone you put out there and that’s what we got here. The Kanyon Cutter should have finished the match but at least the right person won here. Kanyon should have been a big deal but all the heel turns and time off really held him back.

Post match Kanyon introduces Jarrett for the original match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett

Tony is saying Page just went “Ten, fifteen, twelve minutes” against Kanyon because just over eight minutes is close enough to twelve or fifteen. They fight into the crowd with Jarrett rocking the staggered Page with right hands. Back to ringside with Page sending him into the announcers’ table, only to be hit in the ribs with a few chair shots. Jeff drops some slow shots to the head but gets caught by the discus lariat. Sleeper, counter sleeper, jumping DDT from Page for a change of pace instead of the belly to back.

Back up and Page keeps slugging away with Jarrett going face first into the buckle over and over. Cue Kanyon, who Tony wants knocked out with a ball bat. Now come on Tony. You know it’s the ball bat that sets up the finisher which knocks people out around here. Jeff chairs Page down for two but the guitar hits Kanyon by mistake, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Hudson: “THAT IS A PERFORMANCE FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS!” For having back to back long TV matches?

Rating: C+. Despite a lot of the flack Page gets, he’s always going to give you a good match if he’s allowed the chance. It probably won’t be the best thing in the world but at least you’re guaranteed something totally watchable at worst, which is something WCW is severely lacking at this point.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash. Basically Nash is standing up for WCW but Steiner hit him in the knee with a pipe on Nitro.

Ric Flair comes out for commentary on the main event.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending but before we have the match, let’s look at the Sid Vicious injury to show how bad Scott can be to people. Ric has an announcement to make: the loser has to retire, which apparently was the ruling in the envelope. Nash is wheeled out with some good looking nurses and the leg in a cast. It looks like a countout but Nash stands up and we’re ready to go. A belt shot to Steiner’s head pins him in 12 seconds.

Of course that’s not it as Flair says it’s 2/3 falls and no DQ. We cut to the back to see Totally Buff lay out Page in the back as Nash beats on Steiner at ringside. Nash slowly hammers away before clotheslining him out to the floor. Midajah offers a distraction so Steiner can hit Nash in the head with a pipe. Flair makes it falls count anywhere so Steiner pins him on the floor for the second fall.

Some brass knuckles shots have Nash in even more trouble as the crowd is groaning as they’re far from impressed here. Both guys are bleeding and Steiner keeps hammering away at the cut on Nash’s head. The push-ups elbow gets two followed by the t-bone suplex for the same. Another knuckles shot is blocked with Nash hitting a side slam to put both guys down.

Midajah pulls the knuckles away from Nash but Flair sends in a chair so Nash can be knocked out (Tony: “He’s dead!”). The Recliner is broken up (with Tony acting like Nash is the new Goldberg as a result) and Nash gets two off a chokeslam with Midajah making the save. The Jackknife connects but Midajah interferes AGAIN, earning herself a side slam. Flair pulls the referee out and punches him in the jaw, allowing Steiner to get in a low blow, knuckles shot, chair shot and the Recliner to retain.

Rating: F. Nash isn’t exactly the new Goldberg because it didn’t take this much to put Goldberg down. You could see what they were going for as soon as Nash pinned him off the belt shot and it was just a bunch of Tony treating Nash like the greatest thing that ever lived for the rest of the match. Nash actually wouldn’t wrestle in WCW again so for once they did something right, though I’d be surprised if he wasn’t on Nitro tomorrow.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a good example of a show where you knew exactly what you were going to get out of each match. Six man cruiserweight elimination? Good stuff. Lance Storm vs. The Cat? Waste of time. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner? Oh please. The big surprise though was how much good stuff there actually was and the show was very nice as a result. I can’t imagine anything else they’ll have will top this but at least it was nice to have one more easy show to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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As is always the case I’ll be doing last year’s show but you can pick the show I redo this year.  1998 was done last year so that’s out of the running as well.  This will be a fresh redo and not just a reposting of one I did years ago.  Vote in the comments.

Sin
Date: January 18, 2001
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 6,617
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

We’re down to three WCW pay per views to go and the build to this one hasn’t exactly instilled me with confidence. The main event is a four way for the World Title with a mystery man included. Based on everything else WCW has done with their attempts at surprises in recent years, I really can’t imagine this going well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video lists off the seven deadly sins with shots of people in the major matches. I’d think WCW has had far more than seven sins, such as bringing in Russo, keeping Russo, David Arquette and I could probably go on for a long time.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms

Chavo is defending and Shane asks his partner Shannon Moore to let him do this on his own. They hit the mat to start with Shane grabbing a Fujiwara armbar to send Chavo over to the ropes. A hammerlock does the same and it’s time for Chavo to fire off some chops. That earns him an armdrag down, followed by a fireman’s carry into a facebuster on the knee.

It’s off to the floor with Chavo being sent into the barricade as this has been almost all Shane so far. As expected I spoke too soon as Chavo comes back with an Alabama Slam for two which Tony says is part of Chavo’s new attitude. We hit the chinlock for all of three seconds before Shane fights up and grabs a running neckbreaker. The X Plex (not a dragon suplex Tony) gets two on the champ but Chavo sends him outside for a big dive off the top.

Shane is right back up and sends Chavo outside for something like a frog splash cross body to drop Guerrero. A Samoan drop gets two for Shane but the Vertebreaker is countered. Shane settles for the Nightmare on Helm Street for a very close two. Back up and Shane tries it again, only to be reversed into a tornado DDT attempt. That’s countered as well but Shane still can’t hit the Nightmare, allowing Chavo to grab a brainbuster to retain.

Rating: B+. I really dug this one as they were just hitting each other with one big spot after another until Chavo won a wrestling sequence because that’s his bread and butter. Shane is clearly a star in the making though and the division is really looking up with all the other names around to have great matches with Chavo or whoever has the title in the near future.

The announcers talk for a bit because the opener was entertaining so we need to slow things down before the crowd has too much fun.

Earlier today, Ric Flair arrived but still won’t reveal the Mystery Man.

Big Vito and Johnny the Bull are ready for Reno because this is what Vito stands for.

Reno vs. Big Vito

They’re brothers who are fighting over Reno picking the Thrillers over family though this feud hasn’t been talked about much in recent weeks. Johnny has disappeared between the backstage segment and coming to the ring with no explanation of why he’s not here. Just have Vito say “I’m handling this one myself” or don’t have Johnny, who didn’t say anything, there for the promo.

Reno powerslams him down to start and stomps away for two. It’s time to go outside with Vito being sent into various metal objects until he comes back with a clothesline to get his first offense. There’s a superplex for two on Reno but he stays on his feet after an enziguri. Instead Reno sends him shoulder first into the post so the pounding can continue. Vito finally comes back with a Mafia kick and a top rope elbow for two. The inverted DDT is broken up though as Reno throws him down with a t-bone. Back up and Reno reverses a backdrop for Roll of the Dice and the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but nothing I’m interested in watching. Vito has gone from someone showing promise to being just another guy on the roster who loses most of the time. Reno is someone who looks like he has potential but there doesn’t seem to be anything under the surface.

Mike Sanders talks to Brian Adams like he’s an idiot but pays him off anyway. Bryan Clark comes up with money of his own for a better job.

Jung Dragons vs. Noble and Karagias

Bonus match. Evan and Kaz slug it out to start until Kaz lifts him up for a German suplex. Everything breaks down and a double dropkick lets the Dragons clear the ring, followed by a double moonsault as a bonus. Back in and Kaz throws Evan off the top to break up a superplex, only to be dropkicked out of the air (mostly at least as Evan wasn’t quite on target).

Karagias side slams Kaz so Jamie can add a top rope legdrop for two, followed by a hard cross body for two more. Evan loads up Kaz for a gorilla press but gets countered into an attempted tornado DDT, only to have that reversed into a spinebuster to plant Kaz. Jamie comes in and blasts Yang off the apron to prevent the tag so Kaz kicks him in the head to put Noble down.

Now the hot tag brings in Yang to speed things WAY up, which is quite surprising given how fast it already was. Evan springboards down onto Kaz and Yang counters Noble’s hurricanrana into a super Batista Bomb for two of his own. A 450 gets another near fall on Yang but Kaz springboards in with a DDT. Yang COMPLETELY misses Yang Time (as in Jamie didn’t even need to move) so he has to grab a small package to pin Noble instead.

Rating: B+. Sweet goodness they’re working hard tonight. This was an excellent cruiserweight tag match but do you really expect anything else from any combination of these two and 3 Count? They just know how to put on entertaining matches with high spot after high spot. Really fun match here that didn’t overstay its welcome, which is so important in a match like this.

Totally Buff arrives in an old purple car. Their backup plan with Goldberg is to have someone run in to get him disqualified so he’ll be fired. Why has no one else ever thought of that?

Mike Sanders vs. The Cat

This is for the commissionership and the services of Ms. Jones, who is supposed to be with Sanders here but comes out with Cat. Sanders says he wants to keep the job for the money and nothing else. Cat is bald for a change of pace. Yeah Sanders is here for the money but Cat is here for the people. We actually get a fan poll to waste a few seconds until Sanders jumps him from behind to take over. Mike is now in trunks with his Thrillers muscle shirt for a really weird look. Cat chases him to the floor for a bit but Sanders keeps pounding away as this is going nowhere to start.

Some right hands in the corner have Mike in trouble so he low blows Cat for a break. A high sunset flip doesn’t work on Cat as he crotches chops and then hits Sanders in the head. Mike tries a chair but Jones takes it away and kicks him in the back. Cue the Thrillers to beat up Cat as the referee is yelling at Jones, only to have Kronik come out and save him, revealing who paid the higher amount. Clark shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth (Why?) and Cat gives him the Feliner to become Commissioner again, basically guaranteeing that Flair goes evil soon. Somehow the referee didn’t see or hear ANY of that because of course.

Rating: D. Yeah it’s the worst match of the night but it’s not even six minutes long and was entertaining enough. Neither guy is worth much in the ring so it’s a good idea to have one of them being a talker instead of a full time wrestler. Cat is a fun enough guy so this was fine for what it was, which to be fair wasn’t much.

Flair and Goldberg see Totally Buff arriving and talking about the DQ. Ric makes it No DQ and then introduces Goldberg to a friend of his whose son is a fan. Goldberg signs an autograph and takes a picture……which seems to lead nowhere. Ok then.

Jeff Jarrett says Scott Steiner can trust him but no one else. Oh and Gene will be back in the retirement home if he doesn’t stop spreading these rumors. The announcers make sure to point out that Jarrett sounded defensive.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

This is a six man tag with a penalty box, meaning if you break a rule you’re out for a designated time period. Jim Duggan is guest referee. Team Canada (Lance Storm, Mike Awesome and Elix Skipper with Major Gunns) come out in the Team Canada bus. Storm accuses Duggan of being in the Animals’ back pocket. Duggan reads off the list of things that could draw a penalty to really drag things out.

Storm and Mysterio start with Rey (with Kidman and Konnan here) headscissoring Lance into the corner. Rey gets crotched though so Storm brings in Skipper but the referee says that wasn’t enough of a tag. Awesome complains too and bumps Duggan, meaning he’s in the box for one minute. So Storm gets triple teamed for a bit with Konnan powerbombing Rey on top of him for no cover.

Skipper gets back in and gets planted by a Kidman suplex. Awesome pulls Kidman down from the apron and gets penalized with storm being thrown in for a pull of the hair a few seconds later. Konnan scores with a rolling lariat on Skipper before putting on something like a Koji Clutch crossed with a Kimura on the mat (actually called a Mr. Salty).

That goes nowhere so Rey drops a leg as the other Canadians come in. I mean, it’s not like the penalties have meant anything here but they’ve been happening. Skipper tries to Matrix up but gets taken down with a reverse DDT for two. A missile dropkick puts Konnan down but Elix lands on his feet like Koko B. Ware used to do.

Konnan headscissors and Rey tries a Bronco Buster, only to be sent to the box because Awesome is on the ropes. Kidman is sent with him for no apparent reason, allowing the women to get into it over a water bottle. That means both of them are sent into the box as Skipper puts on a chinlock, much to Storm’s chagrin. Konnan finally puts Storm down and the hot tag brings in Kidman to clean house. A powerbomb plants Storm again and the now legal Rey backdrops Kidman over the top to take Lance out again.

Everything breaks down and Skipper is thrown in the box somewhere in there. Awesome tries to cut Kidman’s hair for some reason and goes to the box as well. Tygress adds a Bronco Buster to Storm and gets boxed as well. The Kid Crusher gets two on Storm with Awesome making the save. An Awesome Bomb plants Rey and Kidman taps to the Maple Leaf for the win.

Rating: D. What a freaking mess. Not only was there no sense of logic in the penalties (yes they were called straight but that’s not how something like this is supposed to go) but the match was all messy with the penalties not really meaning anything since the wrestlers in trouble wouldn’t have been able to tag out anyway. There’s too much going on here and having the heels in the box most of the time defeats the point of the match.

Sanders says the Thrillers are ready to get the Tag Team Titles back.

The Insiders are getting ready.

We recap the Hardcore Title match which saw Terry Funk coming back and destroying Crowbar at Starrcade to take the title. Crowbar decided he wasn’t being serious enough and went back to his roots, only to have Meng come in and beat both of them of to make it a three way feud.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Terry Funk vs. Crowbar

Funk is defending but Meng comes in with the title. Daffney is in the aisle so Funk grabs her by the hair to draw Crowbar out for some chair shots to the champ’s head. They fight into the back and we get the women’s restroom raid. Meng finally joins them and puts Funk in a trashcan for a quick beating. They leave the restroom with Funk throwing a trashcan at Meng’s head to little avail.

Funk has his head rammed into a metal door and starts punching at the air before helping Crowbar throw a pile of tables on top of Meng. They go back into the arena with Crowbar putting Funk on a table and climbing up onto some tarped off seats (Tony: “Those are reserved seats.” Reserved for who? Elvis?) for a double legdrop.

Meng comes back and hammers on Crowbar before kicking him down the ramp. Funk is back up and hits Meng in the head with a snow shovel (thankfully sold) before slamming Crowbar through a piece of barricade (which just happened to be standing in front of the regular barricade).

Crowbar comes back (of course) and starts in on Funk’s knees as Tony makes vague references to Beyond the Mat. A Figure Four on Funk is broken up as Meng comes in off the top (!) with a splash. Funk and Crowbar take turns beating on Meng with chairs until he goes down. That’s it for them working together though as Crowbar chairs Funk, allowing Meng to blast Crowbar in the face. The Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title.

Rating: D+. This was entertaining enough and that’s exactly what it needed to be. Having someone like Meng as champion was probably the best idea they could have gone with as the person who finally knocked him off would look like a much bigger deal as a result. The weapon stuff was fine here but more than anything else it helped to have someone so different in there. You can only watch people hit each other with chairs for so long before it loses all appeal.

Flair gives Cat and Miss Jones the rest of the night off.

Sid, still in street clothes with less than an hour and a half in the show, is ready to win the title that belongs to him.

We recap the Tag Team Titles. The Insiders won the belts twice but the Thrillers won a tag team battle royal so tonight it’s a match with any two Thrillers getting the show.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Insiders

Nash/Page are defending. Sanders comes out to say this isn’t going to be so easy but cue Flair to say everyone else is out so this is two on two. Page and Palumbo get things going with a slugout from the old man, followed by a clothesline. A spinning Rock Bottom gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor.

Back in and a double tag brings in Nash to stare down at O’Haire, who moonsaults over Nash and superkicks him to take over for the first time. Palumbo comes in and takes clotheslines from both champs, only to have O’Haire nail Page from behind so Chuck can get in the Jungle Kick to drop Page. A double slingshot suplex (cool) gets two for the Thrillers as we hear about the RAGE building up in Kevin Nash.

Page reverses Palumbo’s tombstone into one of his own and both guys are down. O’Haire is tagged first but accidentally punches Page into the tag to Nash as everything breaks down. Cue the Thrillers as Nash powerbombs Palumbo. The referee goes after the thrillers as Lex Luger comes out to distract Page for no logical reason. This allows Buff Bagwell, dressed as a plumber, to come in and hit Nash with a wrench. The Seanton Bomb gives the Thrillers the titles. Tony: “Why Buff why?” Because he’s a heel you dingbat.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but WAY overbooked near the end. At least Nash took the fall, after a bunch of interference and a wrench to the back of the head of course. There’s something to be said about the fact that the Insiders got two title runs out of being transitional champions from one set of Thrillers to another. The match was what you would have expected of course.

The announcers talk about the Goldberg tag match.

Sanders says the Thrillers have plenty to celebrate tonight and Buff was acting on his own.

Flair, who apparently saw NONE of that, is off to get the Mystery Man. “It’s SHOWTIME!”

We recap Shane Douglas vs. General Rection. The General accidentally squashed Torrie Wilson to write her off TV but Shane wanted revenge in the form of that US Title. Rection kept the title at Starrcade so it’s time for a rematch with First Blood rules.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

Rection is defending and this is First Blood. That’s not enough though as there’s a chain hanging above the ring to make the bloodletting a bit easier. Rection wants Shane checked for a chain, which would be perfectly legal in a match like this. The referee finds one and takes it away because even the referees don’t understand the rules of the match. Since it’s a first blood match, Rection starts with a wristlock and armdrag into an armbar. Rection: “ASK HIM!” Ask him what exactly?

Tony tries to cover by saying it’s going to wear Shane down so Rection can use the heavy offense to make him bleed. Makes enough sense, marking a first in this match. Rection gets smart and punches at the forehead before blasting Shane with a top rope clothesline. No Laughing Matter gets Rection crotched and Shane starts in on the leg. This would be a much better match if it didn’t have the First Blood rule making a lot of this offense look questionable.

We hit the Figure Four on the champ (it’s horrible) for a few moments before they head outside for some play time. Shane hammers away with right hands in the crowd before wrapping the bad leg around the post. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Rection gets free and grabs a ladder. The chain is pulled down but the referee gets bumped. Shane finds the chain the referee took away from him and blasts Rection for the blood and the title.

Rating: D. Really lame First Blood match but a decent regular match. Unfortunately this was billed as something with a special gimmick and that’s not what we got here. The chain and ladder aspects didn’t need to be here and really dragged this one down but I’d rather have someone like Shane with the title than a guy named General Rection. There was just no way around that name.

Scott Steiner doesn’t care what Ric Flair puts in front of him.

Rection says it’s not worth it anymore.

We recap Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Dewayne Bruce which is going on because WCW insisted on the feud continuing after Goldberg beat Luger twice. Luger went after Goldberg’s trainer and set up this match with the idea that they can beat Bruce and get rid of Goldberg by ending the Streak.

Totally Buff vs. Goldberg/Sgt. Dewayne Bruce

No DQ and Bruce is coming in with a broken arm. Goldberg and Luger start but the threat of a superkick sends Bagwell bailing out to the floor. A big old shoulder drops Luger to start and a butterfly suplex sends him over into the corner to Buff. Bagwell: “ME?” Goldberg: “Yeah you!”

Bagwell comes in and gets gorilla pressed into a spinebuster before it’s off to Bruce for the first time. A middle rope elbow gets two on Bagwell but Sarge runs into a double back elbow to start the obvious beating. Buff gets one off the double arm DDT with Goldberg in for the save before the referee even went down for the count. Luger’s forearm gets two and Goldberg’s kick for the save clearly didn’t make contact.

Sarge reverses a suplex to take Buff down and it’s off to Goldberg to clean house. Goldberg throws Luger to the floor where he lands right in front of the kid that Goldberg signed an autograph for earlier. The kid maces Goldberg, allowing Luger to hit him with a chair while the kid stands at ringside with security just letting him hang around. A super Blockbuster lets Luger get the pin to retire Goldberg and shock the crowd.

Rating: D-. You know who should have gotten that pin? Sean O’Haire, Mark Jindrak, or one of the other Thrillers not named Stasiak. Instead though, it’s Lex Luger, because HE needed a rub. You think this is leading anywhere for Luger? Of course not, because it’s LEX LUGER. Swap Totally Buff out for the Thrillers and let them have the meaningless Tag Team Titles while the Thrillers get to have the win that actually matters. I get that Goldberg had to leave (due to needing shoulder surgery) but they really had nothing better to do than have Lex Luger fight him for three straight pay per views? This company deserves to die.

Goldberg has his eyes washed out as the announcers talk about what a tragedy this is.

We recap the World Title match which is basically Steiner vs. the World with the question of who is Ric Flair’s Mystery Man.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Mystery Man

Steiner is defending and this is one fall to a finish. There’s no Mystery Man to start so it’s a triple threat, as was advertised for a good while leading up to this show. Steiner goes after Flair so Jarrett has to bring him back to the ring where Sid is waiting on both of them. Sid gets double teamed and Jarrett is actually ok with letting Steiner go for the covers. The Push Up elbow gets two on Sid and Steiner hits him with the belt for good measure.

Jeff covers for two and this time Steiner is fine with it. Hudson: “Something is going on between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner.” Sid suplexes both guys (well kind of a DDT to Steiner but close enough) and starts clotheslining. A chokeslam gets two on Jarrett and Steiner is planted with a cobra clutch slam. Jeff is whipped over the barricade and we cut to Flair getting the Mystery Man out of the limo.

We come back….and Sid’s leg is bent like a pretzel after coming off the middle rope (off camera), basically ending his full time career. Steiner does push-ups to stall while we wait on the Mystery Man before choking with his boot. Now the Mystery Man comes out (to Flair’s music) as Hudson realizes that Sid has a broken leg. The Mystery Man is in, hits Sid once, and lets Steiner pin Sid to retain.

Rating: D-. You have to forgive them for the ending as Sid’s injury took away whatever else they had planned. I’m sure the result would have been the same but it’s not fair to criticize them for having it fall this flat when Sid couldn’t move. Unfortunately you can blame them for the rest of the match with all the standing around waiting on anything interesting to happen. This wasn’t even eight minutes long and the stuff before the leg injury was barely six of that. There was no way this was going to be good and it’s made even worse with all the nonsense they packed into it.

The Mystery Man is Road Warrior Animal. Yeah, as in the guy they said was as big of a star as The Rock and Steve Austin. I’m really not sure if Tony is shooting or not as he freaks out that it’s actually Animal.

Overall Rating: D. Dang it they really can’t get out of their own way sometimes. If this show had just been altered slightly with the cruiserweight tag coming later on the show and say Cat vs. Sanders opening things up, the show would have been much easier to sit through. Unfortunately WCW has way more problems than the order of the matches though as there was just no way to get around all the horrible stuff they had to throw out there to protect the top names. It’s a bit of an upgrade but still has so many of the same problems that got them in trouble in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

If last year’s show was about change, this one is ten times stronger. This year is about introducing the newest generation of mega stars into the top of the card and it couldn’t happen sooner. JBL and HHH had been very boring champions with HHH cutting the wings off nearly everyone (including Orton, who turned face after taking the title from Benoit, only to drop it back to HHH a month later). With no one left, it’s time for someone new. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: William Regal, Tajiri, Rhyno, Hurricane, Rosey, Simon Dean, Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Maven, Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Viscera

Smackdown: Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Luther Reigns, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Heidenreich, Mark Jindrak, Booker T., Nunzio, Akio

This would become a tradition and a way to get a lot more people on the show and therefore a Wrestlemania payday. This is also interpromotional so everyone is in a red Raw shirt or a blue Smackdown shirt. Regal and Tajiri are Raw Tag Team Champions, Dean is a fitness guru, Snitsky is a freaky guy, Masters is strong, Tomko is Christian’s enforcer, Reigns is another big power guy, Jordan is a JBL lackey and US Champion, London is Cruiserweight Champion and Heidenreich is just weird. I’m not sure why Smackdown has one more name than Raw but it doesn’t really matter. General managers Eric Bischoff and Teddy Long are at ringside.

The rosters stare each other down to start and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask. Ever the nice guy, Heidenreich hits him in the face to start the fighting. Spike hides on the apron and we’re firmly in the part of the battle royal where you can’t tell anything that’s going on. Reigns pulls Hurricane off the top and dumps him out but a bunch of guys get rid of Reigns just as quickly.

A bunch of people go after Viscera and knock him down because they’re not that bright. Four guys hold him down and Scotty adds the Worm, only to have Masters throw out Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a row. Well at least the ring is a little bit clearer. Haas is eliminated and a quick Regal chant goes nowhere. Nunzio is thrown under the bottom rope as the match slows a bit. Maven was eliminated somewhere in there.

Heidenreich, still in the Hurricane mask, rips the turnbuckle pad off for no apparent reason. I told you he was strange. Venis is clotheslined out by Heidenreich and Simon is out a few seconds later. Grenier follows and so does Rosey. Rhyno Gores Snitsky but Holly puts Rhyno out shortly thereafter. There goes Conway followed by both Bashams as the match is now a lot easier to keep track of. Raw and Smackdown square off again and it’s Holly planting Regal with the Alabama Slam.

Jordan eliminates Tomko and Viscera sends Akio over the top and face first onto the steps. Masters eliminates Holly who is followed by Regal. Tajiri sprays the mist into Heidenreich’s face and he eliminates London by mistake. By mistake because they’re both on Smackdown and the idea here is brand vs. brand, even though it’s every man for themselves. Tajiri and Heidenreich go to the apron and both guys are out a few seconds later. We’re down to Masters, Viscera, Snitsky, Jindrak and Booker.

Jindrak catapults Snitsky out and absolutely levels Viscera with a left hand. Masters dumps Jindrak from behind and we’re down to three but Nunzio comes back in because he was never eliminated. He actually makes it a full ten seconds before being eliminated for real and it’s Viscera, Masters and Booker to go. Booker fights out of the double team but the side kick lands on the ropes. Viscera misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Booker to superkick Masters out for the win at 11:36.

Rating: D+. Not the worst battle royal here as they had a bunch of people in there but it was clearly just a way to get them on the DVD for the royalty payment. Still though, Booker winning was a good idea and it’s hard to complain about a bonus match that doesn’t hurt anything and wasn’t part of the main show.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

We get one of my favorite parts of this show: the trailers. The theme of this show was Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, meaning there were several parody movie scenes with wrestlers in place of the actors. We have Eugene as Forrest Gump, Booker T. as Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction, HHH as Braveheart, John Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few Good Men, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Christy Hemme as Meg Ryan from When Harry Met Sally, Christian, Chris Benoit and Stacy Keibler in the interrogation scene from Basic Instinct and most of the roster as Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver.

Now we get the debut of the final trailer from Gladiator. The emperor comes down to congratulate the gladiator whose face we can’t see. The voice sounds very familiar though and he takes off the helmet to reveal Steve Austin, who describes himself as a beer drinker among beer drinkers and the master of the middle finger. He promises to create havoc at Wrestlemania tonight because that’s what he does. Good stuff here, as were all of these.

The aisle has a red carpet and there’s a movie marquee that advertises Wrestlemania XXI. It’s one of their better sets ever actually.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

This is face vs. face as they’re the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Eddie however is a bit frustrated because he thinks Rey has been showing him up a bit lately. No superhero gear this time as Rey is in a combination Mexican/USA flag costume instead. The bell rings and Rey is already adjusting his mask. Rey flips out of a fireman’s carry and shoulders Eddie down until Guerrero armdrags him down.

A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and it’s time to adjust the mask again. It has a Velcro hook instead of the usual buttons and that’s not going to work very well. Back in and Eddie takes him down with a wristlock until a monkey flip sends Eddie flying. A right hand knocks Rey off the apron though as the aggression is starting. Back in and Eddie gets two off a belly to back before slapping on a surfboard (which takes a good while to finally apply). Eddie has to let go and Rey fixes the mask again.

We hit an STF on Rey but Eddie doesn’t pull back on it very well. Mysterio armdrags out of an armbar and Eddie is looking frustrated. More mask adjustment sets up a flip dive from Rey, followed by more time spent fixing the thing. Mysterio tries to speed things up but Eddie drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Three Amigos are broken up but Rey gets caught in a backbreaker. Two more Amigos connect but Rey counters (adjusting the mask in the process) into the 619, only to have that countered into another backbreaker.

The Three Amigos finally work but the frog splash misses. 619 connects and Rey is bleeding from the mouth. The West Coast Pop is countered into a sweet powerbomb for two as the fans are behind Eddie. Back up and a quick hurricanrana gives Rey the pin (with one final mask fix) at 12:36.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but I think they were expecting something even better. This is what happens when you have a masterpiece like these two had at Halloween Havoc 1997: it sets a virtually unbreakable precedent and puts way too much pressure on them to top it every time they square off again. This kicked off a four month long feud between the two which produced some excellent matches, which was tragically followed up by Eddie’s death in November.

Eddie shakes Rey’s hand.

JBL and company run into HHH and Flair. They compare legacies and HHH laughs at the idea of anyone believing JBL is as good as he thinks. A future showdown is teased but thankfully this never went anywhere. Flair gets in a WOO just because.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

Money in the Bank, which means a ladder match for a briefcase which guarantees them a World Title shot at any time in the next year. Jericho came up with this one night on Raw and others signed up over the next few weeks. This and the battle royal were a much better idea than the multi-team tag matches we sat through last year. Christian has Tomko with him. Shelton is the Intercontinental Champion and has become one heck of a singles star in recent months. Kane’s entrance is again cool as the set has flames all over it, including the ladders set up near the entrance.

Kane starts fighting in the aisle and beats up all four Canadians plus Shelton. Benjamin and Benoit suplex him at ringside but Jericho smacks Edge in the face with a ladder as the bell rings. Jericho beats Shelton up to start but stops to dive on Benoit. Christian dives on all three of his fellow Canadians but Benjamin dives onto all of them plus Tomko. Kane takes out all five of them with a clothesline from the top before hitting Edge with a fresh ladder.

Jericho dropkicks the ladder into Kane but comes up holding his leg. Shelton and Edge take ladders to the face and Edge gets a second dose. Benoit comes back in to German Jericho and the ladder at the same time but Kane breaks up the first climb. That’s fine with Benoit as he grabs the Crossface on Kane. Edge gets the same treatment until Kane hits Benoit in the face with the ladder for the save. Kane isn’t done with him as he crushes Benoit’s arm between the ladder, only to turn into a spear from Edge.

We get a quick Edge and Christian reunion as they crush Kane with ladders, much to the delight of the crowd. Shelton gets back in and kicks a ladder into Christian’s face and flapjacks Edge into the ladder for good measure. Jericho and Benjamin fight on top of the ladder but Christian sets up his own and joins them. Benoit climbs up with one arm but here’s Edge on a third ladder. Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”

Christian takes Benoit down by the arm, Jericho gets shoved off and Shelton hits his t-bone exploder suplex to take Edge down. The ladder falls on the two of them to make it even worse. Christian bridges a ladder up against another one to make a ramp but Jericho puts him down and climbs, only to have Shelton run up the ramp and clothesline him down. Kane comes back in and cleans house until Tomko kicks him in the face. Tomko lifts Christian up ala Rhyno at Wrestlemania XVII but Kane makes a save.

Kane sends the ladder over to send Christian crashing to the floor and onto Tomko. Well it’s better than those insane crashes Christian used to take. Jericho and Kane both fall off the ladder with Kane crashing in the middle of the ring. Benoit drops a Swan Dive off the ladder to bust himself open. The bloody Canadian climbs up but Kane does the Undertaker situp, only to get headbutted back down to the mat. Benoit is alone up there but Edge BLASTS him in the bad arm with a chair, allowing him to climb up (JR: “Somebody stop him! Anyone! Even Christian!”) and win at 15:20.

Rating: A-. It’s amazing how much better these things are when you have a more reasonable number of people. Six seems to be the magic number but the later versions would have seven or eight and the whole thing would get too crowded and watered down. This was awesome fun though with some great spots that would be built on in future years. Edge getting the win is the biggest moment of his career and it felt like a huge moment. Really good way to introduce the concept.

Here’s Eugene (Eric Bischoff’s, shall we say, slow nephew) with something to say. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment after King Kong Bundy squashed one of the midgets at Wrestlemania III and the rest of the midgets got together like an army. This brings out Muhammad Hassan and manager Daivari, a pair of Arab American wrestlers who claimed racism was the only thing holding them back.

Hassan: “Do you know why I’m angry?” Eugene: “You don’t like midgets?” Hassan rants about all the fake people here in Hollywood and the prejudice and bigotry in the city’s history. In his way over the top voice, Hassan goes off about taking a backseat to a loser like Eugene. He could not, would not and will not stand for this so he’s going to create a Wrestlemania moment of his own. Hassan decks the injured Eugene and puts him in the camel clutch…..which brings out Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow.

Hulk cleans house with ease and the fans eat this up with a fork and spoon. Daivari’s chair shot goes very badly for him and it’s time to pose. This set up a tag match at Backlash with Hogan teaming up with Shawn Michaels. It’s a great moment and a great surprise with Hogan bringing the crowd to his feet doing as he can do better than almost anyone else. The American flag drops, just in case you didn’t know who you were supposed to cheer for. Keep in mind though: Hassan is from New York and Daivari is from Minnesota.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton had lost the Raw World Title to HHH and then lost a long feud to him, meaning it was time to give him something fresh. To get back on track, Orton turned heel again (he pretty much had to after the face turn was ruined so badly) and decided to end the Streak. Even Randy’s dad Cowboy Bob thought Randy is crazy for trying this until the RKO put Undertaker down one night on Smackdown.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

The druids and torches are back this year. Undertaker, with his hair past his shoulders again, glides to the ring without taking a single step. No Cowboy Bob with Orton here. Orton starts with a slap and nails a nice dropkick for one. That earns him a stiff right hand to the jaw and the RKO is easily countered as Undertaker throws him to the floor.

Old School actually connects but Orton hits another dropkick and punches him in the face. Undertaker comes right back with a side slam for two. Snake Eyes looks to set up a big boot but Orton elbows him in the face to take over. The fans are all over Orton as he pounds away with forearms and right hands. A dragon sleeper (a hold Undertaker used for a bit until it became clear that it didn’t fit him) has Orton in trouble spins around and counters with a DDT.

We hit the chinlock but Undertaker would rather not bore the fans so he suplexes Orton down instead. A powerslam gets two on Undertaker and Orton is stunned. I’m not sure why as he never won anything major with that move but that’s a young heel for you. He follows that up by being a young stupid heel as he pounds down right hands in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride. Orton slips out and tries an RKO but gets sent into the referee for a horrible ref bump. I mean Orton’s forearm grazed the referee’s chest and it looked like he died.

After Undertaker falls down trying another Last Ride, here’s Cowboy Bob (who might have missed his cue to force the second failed powerbomb) to knock Undertaker out with the cast (He had a very slow healing arm injury. Going on twenty years at this point.) but there’s still no referee. Undertaker gets up and tries a chokeslam, only to have Orton counter into an RKO in midair. That’s one of my all time favorite spots. Orton is stupid enough to try a Tombstone but Undertaker reverses into the real thing to put Orton away at 14:16.

Rating: B-. This show is on fire to start with the third straight good match, which is somehow a step down after a pair of really good matches. Orton looked like a star out there and began the tradition of someone wanting to break the Streak instead of someone having a personal issue with Undertaker. This would become something like another World Title match over the years as the matches would (eventually) become bigger and bigger over time.

We recap evil Trish vs. Christy Hemme. Christy was in Playboy and Trish didn’t like not being in the spotlight, setting up a title defense for Trish here. Lita tore her ACL in January to prevent another showdown with Trish and is training Christy to make us think she has a chance. The problem is Hemme is just a model and is making her debut against the best female wrestler of the generation.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending of course and easily kicks Christy to the floor to start. Christy is sent into the steps and this is already looking one sided. Back in and the Chick Kick is blocked, followed by Christy kicking Trish low to take over. It’s clear that she has NO idea what she’s doing though and Lawler keeps the focus on her very short skirt. Christy sunset flips her out of the corner for two and makes her comeback with some lame kicks, followed by a reverse Twist of Fate. That’s it though as the Chick Kick puts Christy out of her misery at 4:11.

Rating: D. This was about Christy looking good and Lita being there for a completely token appearance. At the end of the day, this was going to be the future of the Divas division no matter how many people were disappointed. Your wrestling ability stopped mattering because the only important thing was how good you looked in skin tight shorts. Bad match but they kept it short as they should have.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was dominating the Royal Rumble when Shawn came in and eliminated him with a quick superkick. This wasn’t cool with Kurt and he wanted a one on one match with Shawn at Wrestlemania. You don’t have to ask Shawn twice about a chance to show off at the biggest show of the year.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

If this is anything less than a classic, it’s going to be a disappointment. They stare each other down to start until Shawn slaps her in the face. That earns him a takedown but Shawn makes it to the ropes. A headlock slows Kurt down and the fans seem to be on Angle’s side. Back up and Shawn takes him right back down into a headlock. A hiptoss takes Angle down again and we hit a short armscissors.

Angle comes up with the customary lifting counter but Shawn rolls into a sunset flip. Back to the headlock as they’re doing a nice job of recreating the Bret vs. Shawn story of Shawn wrestling technical when his opponents wouldn’t have expected him to go that route. A quick ankle lock attempt is countered and the Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside.

Shawn is ticked off for some reason and loads up the announcers’ table, rolls inside to break the count (a forgotten move) and gets caught in an Angle Slam into the post. Well not really the Slam itself I don’t know how else you would call that. Kurt starts in on the back and puts on a body scissors. The fans are split as it’s time to trade some chops. Enough of that though as Kurt grabs a belly to belly and it’s time for a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Shawn fights up but slaps Angle for some reason, earning himself a big clothesline for two.

Kurt loads up a belly to belly superplex but gets shoved down instead. The top rope elbow misses though and Shawn crashes back first onto the mat. There go the straps but Kurt gets backdropped out to the floor and Shawn, always the crazy one, follows him out with a high cross body. Back up and the German suplex to the floor is teased again but as always, Kurt can’t quite pull it off. Mainly because of the whole death thing. Shawn kicks him low for the save instead and puts Angle on the table for a spinning splash from the apron, which DOESN’T break the table in a sick landing.

Both guys are very slow to get back in as you would expect but it’s Shawn with the forearm into the nipup to get the fans right back on his side. The elbow connects this time around but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock again. Shawn can’t roll out of it but he finally makes the rope. The Angle Slam is countered so Kurt grabs the ankle as a consolation prize. That counter is countered into a cradle for two but now the Slam connects for two.

In another awesome moment, Kurt puts the straps back up so he can pull them right back down, only to miss the moonsault. Might be time for a new strategy Kurt. Shawn loads up another elbow but this time Angle runs the ropes for a super Angle Slam. It still only gets two so Kurt yells at him, allowing Shawn to shove him away and nail Sweet Chin Music for another near fall. Both guys are very slow to get up and Shawn leaves his foot too close to Kurt, setting up the ankle lock with the grapevine for the (very) eventual tap at 27:27.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with the athletic slugfest at its best. There’s something so great about two masters out there showing everything they could do. Shawn is at his best when he gives it everything he has but just isn’t good enough, though he would win the rematch later in the year. Great stuff here and I really don’t see anything else topping this tonight.

The guys get a well deserved standing ovation.

We get the full Basic Instinct trailer again with Stacy implying there’s something between herself and Trish.

Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guest Steve Austin. Piper thanks us for the Hall of Fame induction but wants to make some history. He’s been told that Austin is the toughest man in the WWE and he calls that bull. This brings out Austin, who Piper says is supposed to be some rebel. Piper slaps him in the face so Austin swears at him and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kind of like you!”

The WHAT chants get on Piper’s nerves quick but he learns how to talk at the right cadence. There’s a point Piper wants to differ on but the WHAT chants cut him off again. Piper says he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t have a number and was ticking Vince off when Austin was in diapers. For some reason JR thinks that’s quite the insult. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel.

It’s Austin’s turn now and he rips on Piper a bit, in time with the WHAT chants. Piper says this is failure to communicate and here’s Carlito if all people to interrupt. Carlito thinks these arguments are stupid because neither of them are cool enough for him (that’s and spitting apples at people are pretty much his entire gimmick). Austin invites him into the ring but Piper has no idea who Carlito is.

Carlito wants them both to leave and can we just get to the Stunners already? Piper steals the apple and spits some of it at Carlito. That earns him some left hands to the head as Austin just watches. Austin finally beats Carlito up, throws him to Piper for a thumb to the eye and gives him the Stunner. It’s time to drink for a good while until Austin finally Stuns Piper too. This went on WAY too long and I have no idea what they were going for but it completely missed. None of them looked like they wanted to be there and Carlito didn’t get anything out of it.

Backlash ad.

Here’s the full Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best by the fans. The highlight is Batista turning it into a Who’s On First routine.

Akebono vs. Big Show

Why not have some sumo wrestling on the show? You win by pushing your opponent outside the circle or by knocking him off his feet. Akebono is a sumo champion and would become a full time professional wrestler in Japan soon after this. Cole and Tazz treat this as something serious but the fans clearly don’t care. After they go through all the rituals, Akebono wins with relative ease in 1:02. This really, really didn’t need to be here and was lost on the fans, which really isn’t surprising as it wasn’t exactly what they signed up for.

We recap John Cena vs. JBL which is entirely built around a culture clash. Cena won a #1 contenders tournament to earn this shot by beating Angle at No Way Out 2004. JBL is old school and rich while Cena is a brash, in your face rapper who wears throwback jerseys and hats. He had turned the US Title into a spinner belt so JBL helped his lackey Orlando Jordan take the title and then burned it (ok so JBL wasn’t all bad).

JBL got in Cena’s face and said the only way Cena’s family could pay the bills was to have his mama on her back all the time. Since they weren’t allowed to touch each other, Cena ruined JBL’s car, clothes and limousine to try to get JBL to punch him. Naturally this got Cena arrested and JBL hit him while he was defenseless. The build was good, but there’s no question that this is the second biggest match on the show.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and comes to the ring in a limo with a police escort. To make it even better, JBL dollars fall from the ceiling. I always liked the way JBL held the belt (clasped together but in his hand instead of around his waist). He even sends the Cabinet to the back so this is one on one. Feeling out process to start with Cena getting the better of it until he runs into a boot to the jaw to stagger him.

They trade shoulders with JBL getting the better of it by running Cena over. A big chop staggers Cena again and the champ chokes him on the middle rope. Cena’s comeback is stopped with a spinebuster and punching him in the head. A short arm clothesline (ala Jake Roberts) sets up a sleeper but Cena finally escapes with a belly to back suplex.

There’s a double clothesline to put both guys down again and it’s JBL up first. Cena takes a neckbreaker on the floor and a superplex keeps him in trouble but JBL can’t follow up. JBL eventually gets two and goes to the middle rope, diving right into a powerslam (not a scoop slam Cole) to give Cena an opening. The running shoulders and a hiptoss draw some trash talk and the fans are trying to wake up. The Shuffle connects and Cena ducks the Clothesline, setting up the FU for the pin and the title at 11:27.

Rating: D+. For what was supposed to be a changing of the guard, this was really boring stuff. JBL just could not do it in the ring again at this point and it was clear for months now. Cena winning the first title at Wrestlemania is a big deal and he did what he could but you need a better opponent. JBL had a long run and this was a pretty weak way to end it. Not that I expected anything else though. Their really violent rematch was MILES better and what this match should have been.

Cena celebrates in the crowd.

We look at last night’s Hall of Fame inductions, headlined by Piper and Hogan. They had to go in together.

Gene Okerlund introduces the Class of 2005: Nikolai Volkoff, Iron Sheik, Paul Orndorff (who points to Miss Jackie as she escorts him), Bob Orton, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan. In other words: pretty much Wrestlemania I as a whole.

Wrestlemania XXII is in Chicago.

We recap the main event. Batista had been Evolution’s animal but he was slowly getting better and smarter. This scared HHH, who thought the whole thing was about him. He and Flair put together a plan to manipulate Batista into fighting JBL at Wrestlemania but Batista overheard them, leading to him beating HHH up. Now HHH has to fight the monster on his own and no one, including Cena, is hotter than Batista.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and seem to forget the words as it’s a horrible rendition. HHH is also coming out first and rises up through the stage because his entrance needs to be much cooler than Batista’s. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere and Batista takes over with something like a powerslam.

The champ gets thrown into the corner for some right hands but HHH finally sends him out to the floor for a breather. Flair gets caught trying to sneak in a shot, which isn’t enough for an ejection but whatever. Back in and it’s time for choking and stomping, including some extra from Flair. HHH starts in on the back as this is kind of an awkward way to start. An elbow to the back clearly doesn’t make contact so HHH drops some knees instead. A backbreaker keeps up the focus and Flair gets in even more choking.

Some right hands stagger HHH but it’s a spinebuster (because that doesn’t weaken Batista’s spinebuster whatsoever) for a few two counts in a row. The Pedigree is broken up with a backdrop but HHH cuts him off AGAIN with a facebuster. HHH goes up top and dives into a clothesline followed by a side slam for two. That’s enough offense for now as Batista charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Batista comes right back with a hard whip to send HHH out to the floor but the champ sends him hard into the steps to regain control. The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a slingshot into the post, drawing blood from HHH’s head. Back in and Batista goes after the cut with some big forearms before driving the shoulders in the corner.

The fans are trying to get behind Batista again but that HHH dominance killed a lot of the match. Flair tries a distraction so HHH can get a chair but the referee takes it away. Ric takes out the referee and tries a belt shot, only to walk into a spinebuster instead. HHH gets in the belt shot for two. Now the Batista spinebuster connects but a low blow stops the fans AGAIN. The Pedigree is blocked and Sheamus’ White Noise sets up the Batista Bomb to give us a new champion at 21:40.

Rating: C-. Screw off with HHH and his ridiculous ego. Batista won in the end but this was ALL about HHH and making sure he looked as strong as possible in defeat. The fans wanted to cheer here but it felt like every other HHH match in this era but with Batista finally surviving to win the title. The fifteen minutes of dominance here really hurt the match and that’s mainly because of HHH not letting Batista get in enough offense until the end. Couple that with HHH’s awesome entrance and this felt more like a farewell to HHH than the coronation of a new star.

Batista holds up the title to HHH and poses to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: B. This is a very lopsided show as the last hour and a half is a BIG drop from the first two hours and fifteen minutes. The World Title matches just aren’t very good (much more boring than bad though) and some of the other stuff like Piper’s Pit and the sumo match was just plain awful. I’m really not sure what the point of the Pit was unless they were going for a rub for Carlito, but you would think that him beating Cena in his debut match in the fall would have accomplished that just fine.

On the other hand though, four of the five first matches range from good to excellent with only Trish vs. Christy (a four minute match with three gorgeous women) falling short. If you could cut out a good chunk of the last third, this is a MUCH stronger show and one of the better ones of all time. Considering that’s similar to what I said last year, it’s pretty easy to see that pushing four hours (or five last year) is too long for a wrestling show. Obviously you can’t expect everything to be great, but cut some of it down or improve it a lot. Still though, the really good more than outweighs the bad here and that’s always a positive.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B

Money in the Bank

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2016 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: B-

Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Original: F+

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: D

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2016 Redo: A

Big Show vs. Akebono

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2016 Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: D+

Batista vs. HHH

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2016 Redo: B

This show continues to be something that is better than all of its individual parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-wrestlemania-21-best-ad-campaign-ever/

Here’s the 2013 Redo if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/30/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxi-another-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s at least a double main event tonight and you could argue a triple with Kronik vs. Goldberg, Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett and Booker T. defending the World Title against Scott Steiner. After that though the card falls off a cliff and hits every single rock on the way down. Let’s get to it.

We open with the fans being polled about the handicap match. Well to be fair that’s cheaper and safer than asking the announcers what they think.

The regular opening video focuses on how everyone needs to overcome their fears.

Tony: “This is sports entertainment!”

Tag Team Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

O’Haire and Jindrak are defending after losing to both teams in recent weeks. The Thrillers come out second for no logical reason but I’m sure it’s supposed to draw money or humble them or something. The ring has the Backstage Assault (WCW video game sponsoring the show) logos in each corner. Konnan is on commentary as Alex, Mark and Kidman are in to start. I’ve always liked that three men in at once rule in WCW.

Kidman headscissors Mark down and hits a nice dropkick before it’s off to Rey, whose Bronco Buster hits a raised boot. Disco comes in and dances but Jindrak springboards in so high that Disco has to take a step back before Jindrak hits him. O’Haire throws Rey into the air for a powerslam (cool spot) so Disco helps double team him down, only to start fighting with Rey over the cover. Kidman comes in and elbows Disco instead of O’Haire, only to have Wright dropkick Kidman for two.

The fans stay on Disco as Wright knees Jindrak in the arm for two (well done camera guys). The yet to be named Tower of Doom freaks Stevie out as Wright is planted for a double two count. Konnan is already getting on my nerves with his Natural Born Cranberries line and we get a triple tag to bring in Rey, Disco and O’Haire. Everything breaks down and Kidman takes the double beal over the top from the floor.

O’Haire throws Rey over the top into a belly to belly from Wright for two. The Animals take over for a bit and Wright takes a Kid Crusher but the champs make a save. Wright runs into Rey and falls over the top anyway, leaving Disco to Last Dance Jindrak. Stevie sounds like he’s doing a JR impression for reasons that aren’t clear, only to have O’Haire hit the Seanton Bomb for the pin on Disco to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a lot of fun as they just let all six of them go nuts for ten minutes to fire up the crowd. I like the idea of a hot opener and given that they probably don’t have much left on the show worth much until the last three matches, this was a good choice to have early on the card.

Post match Wright beats down the Animals with a chair so Konnan comes in, drawing in Sgt. AWOL for the save for absolutely no logical reason. Konnan looks hurt and comes up limping.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sgt. AWOL

AWOL is challenging so he sets up a table in between matches. Reno hits him with a kendo stick but takes a boot to the face (totally missed), only to flapjack AWOL through the table for two. Madden says old school hardcore rules are in effect: pinfalls count anywhere and anything goes. That would be different than the new rules of start in the back and end in the ring. So there are two eras for a title not even a year old?

A trashcan shot to the head gets two on AWOL as I have flashbacks to him being invincible just about a year ago. AWOL comes back by putting a trashcan over Reno’s head before kicking the can rather hard. Not the part with Reno inside of course because that might mean something looks good in this match.

AWOL and Stevie Ray do a Too Sweet for some reason before the guys walk up the aisle. A Roll of the Dice on the ramp knocks AWOL silly but let’s set up two tables instead of covering. As expected, AWOL gets up and throws Reno through both tables (or at least most of them). That’s not enough for a cover either so they head backstage with AWOL throwing a computer monitor at Reno’s head. Ignore the picture on the monitor that isn’t plugged in because this is OLD SCHOOL HARDCORE, meaning technology doesn’t have to make sense.

The champ blasts him with a fire extinguisher and throws AWOL through another table, only to have AWOL throw him onto another table. Madden makes jokes about the internet ruining wrestling as AWOL hits him with the monitor again. AWOL hits agent Fit Finlay and Madden gets in what sounds like an inside joke that makes no sense unless you were probably in catering that day. Back to ringside and AWOL loads up another table, only to walk into Roll of the Dice to retain Reno’s title.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here as I was begging for this to be over nearly halfway through. This gimmick is so beyond dead and now the match is getting nearly eleven minutes (third longest match of the night) on a card with ten other matches. Who is this supposed to appeal to? I hit you with some object, we do a table spot, repeat five times? That’s the best they’ve got?

Post match the Perfect Event comes out and beats on AWOL, drawing out Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun to give us a very lame reaction.

Shane Douglas talks to the Thrillers and tells them that Nash has put him in charge of the team tonight. Nash can’t even show up on pay per views now?

Apparently Goldberg was injured when he hit the post on Thunder. He isn’t here yet but that’s commonplace in WCW.

Kronik talks to the Nevada State Wrestling Commission and mentions Goldberg having a head/neck injury.

Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Perfect Event

This is an impromptu match but luckily the Thrillers were already in their gear. Why Loco and Cajun had to go to the back and come back out isn’t clear. Stasiak gets beaten down to start and you can see people getting out of their chairs. It’s also clear that the cameras aren’t panning over to the side because there are A LOT of empty seats that keep sneaking into view.

Things settle down to Stasiak beating on Loco before it’s off to Palumbo. The announcers argue over how together the Perfect Event is, despite the fact that they’re not even the best team in their own stable. Palumbo charges into Cajun’s raised boot as I have no idea why this match is taking place on pay per view. Was a ten match card really not enough? A double flapjack puts Loco down as Stevie thinks Madden called Loco “Chubby Toes.”

Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb (Tony: “Out of the Coach Kevin Nash playbook!”) as the announcers talk about how many saves you’re allowed to make in tag team wrestling. Apparently there used to be a limit on that. You would think that some company like Ring of Honor might have brought that back over the years. Loco somehow spins out of a press slam and it’s off to Cajun with the hot tag.

Palumbo makes the save so Stasiak can get two and the fans are put right back in their seats. Well the fans that are still in the arena at least. A sleeper makes things even worse but Cajun fights out….and is put in another sleeper. Well Palumbo’s hand is over Cajun’s eyes so it’s more like a one man game of Peek-A-Boo. Cajun escapes again and runs him over for the tag to Loco but the fans aren’t bothering to get fired up this time. Everything breaks down and Loco gives Stasiak a quick tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It was a watchable match that I’m going to forget about inside of the next ten minutes and really only served to further the “Stasiak is a screwup” story, which isn’t interesting in the first place because IT’S SHAWN STASIAK. You could have easily cut this from the show and given the time to other matches and given how fast the fans were leaving, there’s probably something to that idea.

Konnan is hurt but is willing to go fight anyway.

Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Konnan/Tygress

You can see Stasiak and Palumbo leaving the ring as Shane’s entrance comes on. Torrie is in a Wonder Woman swimsuit and the announcers trip over each others tongues to oogle her. Before the match, Shane laughs at Konnan’s injuries and offers Tygress a chance to come out here and get beaten up. Or sexually assaulted if you pay attention to what he says.

Tygress fights on her own to start by kicking Shane low, setting up a HORRIBLE sequence between the women. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster as the announcers talk about Torrie’s stockings. A double Franchiser is loaded up but Konnan comes in through the crowd for no apparent reason for the save. His back is fine enough to clothesline both of them down and we get a horrible looking double baseball slide as everything heads outside.

It settles down into a regular match and Tony freaks out when Tygress grabs a wristlock on Shane. Torrie tries to make a save and has no idea what to do (makes sense) so Shane takes over on Tygress to save himself. It’s off to Torrie for a really awkward looking run across the ring (with no complaints from the announcers), followed by a camel clutch from Shane.

Off to a crossface chickenwing with Shane putting her hand near his crotch (and shouting something about “make me feel good baby”) until Tygress escapes and crawls over for a hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Torrie pulls the referee into the path of a Bronco Buster for the comedy spot of the match. Torrie gives Konnan a decent Franchiser for two but the good team gives Shane a double facebuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. Other than Torrie in that outfit, this did not need to be on pay per view. This needed to be about five minutes shorter and on Nitro, mainly because I have no idea why this match even took place. Something about who is the best couple, but isn’t Tygress with Rey? They made it clear that this was all about looking at Torrie but there are other ways to do that without wasting over ten minutes of pay per view time.

Again the camera immediately cuts away to the next interview. What’s up with them wanting to get away from Tygress and Torrie so fast? Anyway David Flair and his doctors (they have stethoscopes and stuff) are ready to prove that Buff is a lying piece of garbage.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a DNA match and we’re still waiting on a definition of what that is. Madden: “Tony what are the rules of a DNA match?” Hey thanks Mark. It means First Blood, though I don’t think the fans have actually been told that otherwise. Before the match, Buff promises that he’ll win. You can add that to the long list of things that could have been cut from this show.

Buff punches David down to start and scores with a swinging neckbreaker. All Buff so far as this is a total squash since David still isn’t much of a wrestler. David does the Flair Flip in the corner but gets slammed down just like his daddy. Buff rips the shirt off and makes him do a double bicep pose, allowing David to kick him low for his first advantage. Outside they go but Buff can’t get a piledriver on the exposed concrete because that might kill him.

Your comment of the show that sums up how stupid this whole thing is: Tony: “David trying to bust Buff open and get a DNA sample!” Just imagine a non-fan hearing that one line and see how they react. Anyway they get back in and David tries a chair, only to get hit low and hit with the chair instead. David is busted open so the match is over but since the wrestlers don’t seem to know how the match works, Buff gives him a Blockbuster anyway.

Rating: D-. This was a squash and another match that didn’t need to be on a pay per view. The DNA story is interesting enough but does anyone really care about David Flair? Buff would be a better person in this role, especially since Ric has barely been a factor in it most of the time. At least we got to see David beat up his mailman though. That’s something right?

Post match Lex Luger of all people comes out to celebrate with Buff and turn on him a full two seconds later. Luger posts Buff and busts open his lip, allowing David to get a sample. Boy that’s convenient.

Goldberg, looking a bit shaky, arrives. Thank goodness they made sure to fix that cliffhanger that started half an hour ago.

Scott Steiner and Midajah aren’t worried about Goldberg. Steiner promises to win the title.

The Cat vs. Mike Sanders

This is a kickboxing match for the Commissionership with three rounds lasting two minutes each. Both guys get to run their mouths to start and still nothing of note is said. Palumbo and Stasiak (fine again) are in Sanders’ corner as Madden thinks this is a karate match. They feel each other out for a bit until Cat kicks him in the head for an eight count. A legsweep drops Sanders and they lock up with about ten seconds to go to end the round.

Cat beats on him with ease for a knockdown and Sanders barely beats the count. Another punch drops Mike again but the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Mike says throw it in but somehow beats the count to end the round. This has been completely one sided so far and Cat has barely broken a sweat.

Stasiak and Palumbo get in a fight during the break but here’s Shane Douglas for some reason. The referee is outside yelling at the Thrillers as Cat beats up Sanders even more. Cat gets in a good looking cartwheel kick and Sanders doesn’t want to get up. With Mike kind of on his feet, Cat hammers away even more. To his credit though, he’s able to shout “GET THE CHAIN MAN!” to Douglas, who knocks Cat out with a chain a few seconds later.

The slowest ten count ever (the referee is at five with twenty seconds left and gets to nine with three seconds left) allows the Cat to get up just in time and the match continues. Cat knocks Sanders out again but goes to the floor to fight Shane, giving Mike a countout win. In overtime. In a kickboxing match. To be a wrestling commissioner. Which he already was.

Rating: F. There’s a difference between this kind of stuff and the kind of stuff you would see under full Russo control. While that stuff was really more about shock value and being as stupid as possible, this was a match where you knew everything that was going to happen from the second Shane came out (save for maybe the stupid countout ending). It’s still really bad either way but at least this had some great facial expressions from Sanders. Of course this was horrible but it’s not like the two of them could have a much better wrestling match.

Goldberg talks to the wrestling commissioners and says he’s fine from Monday. The injury was on Wednesday’s show but it was taped on Monday so I’m not sure if I can call that a botch or not.

Kronik gives Goldberg until the end of the night because they get paid either way.

Mike Awesome vs. Vampiro

Add this to the list of things that doesn’t really need to be on pay per view. Not the match that is but Mike as That 70s Guy. This is over Awesome beating Vampiro down a few weeks back so Vampiro is here for revenge. Odd heel motivation but whatever. Vampiro wants to put Awesome’s title shot on the line as well. Now that’s more like a heel. Mike says groovy. Well actually he says that’s fine but he should have said groovy.

Vampiro is knocked to the floor to start and a big plancha takes him down again. That never stops looking awesome. The brawl heads into the crowd despite there being regular rules for this one. Vampiro grabs a cane from someone and beats on Awesome, only to have the guy hit Awesome, who beats him down as a result. Well that was a bad moment.

Back in and they duel with chairs like samurai warriors according to Tony. I’d love to meet Tony’s history teacher if he thinks samurai’s fought with folding metal chairs. Vampiro gets the better of it and takes over with a release belly to belly superplex that almost had a horrible landing. Back in and Vampiro tries a top rope seated senton but Mike seems to counter into a sitout powerbomb. Well I think so at least because it looked kind of like a counter and kind of like Awesome fell backwards. Mike covered for two so we’ll go with horribly executed counter.

Instead it’s time for a table and even Stevie thinks there’s something wrong with this. The Nail in the Coffin gets no cover so let’s bring in another table. Madden: “There’s always room for jello and there’s always room for another table.” I saw Ghostbusters II first so I smiled at that line more than I should have. They head outside for an Awesome Bomb on the floor…for two? Are we having a second match where they don’t know the rules? Vampiro is up fast enough to break up the Awesome Splash. Instead it’s a Super Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin and give us that sweet 70s music.

Rating: D. They had something there with the big spots but that doesn’t really work if the spots don’t actually work. Awesome and Vampiro were trying but there’s only so much you can do when the match is barely looking like a match and turns more into a trainwreck. It also didn’t help that they beat up a fan in the crowd. You know that whole assault thing.

General Rection gives a fired up promo talking about how he’s lost so much over the last few months but he’s here for one more fight.

Vampiro is being checked on by the trainers and gets a round of applause when he sits up. Tony shows us a replay and calls it one of the most amazing spots you’ll ever see. Who in the world is going to care if you call it a move? As usual it comes off like WCW trying to make themselves look smarter and forgetting that a lot of fans don’t care.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm/Jim Duggan

Storm is defending in a handicap match and goes on a rant about how Rection won’t just accept that he’s been beaten. Duggan argues with the referee over who gets to keep the board before locking up with Rection and brawling around the ring. Rection clears the ring with clotheslines before no selling Storm’s chops in the corner.

There’s a backdrop to send Lance outside but Duggan knocks Rection outside as well to take over for the first time. Stevie: “Tony, why do they call her Major Gunns?” The bad guys take over with Duggan elbowing him down to give Storm two. A superkick gets another delayed near fall but Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline is turned into a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Storm slaps on a sleeper and Stevie actually compares it to the one from the Perfect Event match. Who would have thought Stevie would be the best analyst between Tony and Mar…..this isn’t all that surprising actually. Canadian miscommunication gives Rection an opening and he powerslams Storm for one.

Duggan hits his partner by mistake again before the referee drops down as Lance runs the ropes. He does it a second time and then we get the ref bump because we needed a ref bump. Duggan piledrives Rection for no count so here’s Elix Skipper, who is quickly taken down by a flag shot from Gunns. Back in and a Russian legsweep to Duggan with the 2×4 (clearly not making any contact) is enough to set up the No Laughing Matter to give Rection the title.

Rating: D. I appreciate them trying to keep Storm strong but was this really the best idea they could come up with? Rection isn’t really the most interesting guy in the world but at least it fits the story they’ve built up for months. In a good company this would free Storm up for a main event run but you know WCW isn’t bright enough to pull that off.

Mayhem ad centered entirely around Scott Steiner.

Jarrett is ready for Sting.

We recap Jarrett vs. Sting which is over Jarrett claiming Sting has no heart. For some reason this resulted in him dressing up as Sting and mimicking him, which only served to tick Sting off and set up a big fight here. On paper, this should be a layup.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff goes around the ring running his mouth so Sting jumps him from behind to start things fast. They get inside with Sting hitting an atomic drop….and here comes Surfer Sting. The real Sting (Sting Prime?) beats him up as Madden wonders if you can get disqualified for beating yourself up. Fair question….I think? Sting and Jarrett fight by the stage and then into the crowd so here’s 1990 Sting to get beaten up as well. The real Sting gives him a Death Drop on the stage as Jarrett stands in the ring.

Back in and here’s Wolfpac Sting (possibly played by Chris Harris) as we skip eight years or so. For some reason Sting takes him up to the stage for some bat shots and another Death Drop. Jeff hits him in the neck/shoulder with the bat as the referee checks on Wolfpac Sting. Back in and Jeff puts on a sleeper, probably giving us the highlight of the match. Sting fights up and makes his comeback as Crow Sting breaks through the mat and pulls Sting under.

That earns Crow another beatdown but the lights go out and Crow Sting II repels from the ceiling. Sting gives him a Death Drop through the table to knock the wig off and reveal a bald spot. Back in and Sting puts on the Scorpion, only to have Crow Sting I hit him with the guitar. That’s no sold (why not at this point) and Crow I gets a Death Drop, followed by the guitar shot from Jeff for the pin.

Rating: T. For There it is. I had heard about how horrible this show was going to be. This match started roughly two hours in and while it was bad, there have been worse. Then there it was. There’s the big moment that turns this into horrible. WCW spent weeks building up a three match show and one of them involved Sting fighting the demons of his past because Jarrett apparently hired a bunch of guys to dress up like Sting and interfere at timed intervals.

Normally I would go into a big rant about why this is stupid but it’s up there with Mae Young giving birth to a hand or David Flair beating up a mailman on the list of things that speak for themselves. With WCW in the position they’re in, they have no business screwing over the fans on one of the only matches that was almost guaranteed to be well done. I mean, it wasn’t going to be a classic or anything but if you have Sting and Jarrett doing a mostly straight match, it’s going to be fine.

Instead of a match though, which is something the fans might be interested in based on how Russo’s TV ratings died over the summer, the company did some insane spectacle that might have made sense to three people in the building. The story of Sting needing to show heart is fine and Sting is the kind of guy who can pull that off but instead we get this mess with everyone being confused and annoyed. How this benefits anyone is beyond me but at least I have a reason to hate this show even more now.

Stevie Ray doesn’t help things here by talking about how Sting came up short after fighting off all those odds. As in an army of Sting clones is the same as Jimmy Hart distracting a referee.

Booker T. is ready for Steiner.

We recap Steiner vs. Booker T., which is basically Steiner going insane and attacking Booker.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging after beating Goldberg last month. Booker comes out first and Tony talks about the World Title not being on last tonight. Before he comes out, Steiner chokes an agent for the title match not going on last. I can get behind that. Booker gets the fans clapping to start things off so Steiner backs him into the corner and gets in an elbow to the jaw. Booker’s forearm sends Steiner out to the floor, allowing Scott to jump the barricade and yell at a fan.

Back in and Booker gets beaten down, only to come back with a clothesline for two. They head into the crowd because Steiner and Booker T. won’t wrestle for some reason. Steiner throws Booker through the second announcers’ table and chokes the referee for only counting to two. There’s the top rope Samoan drop to set up some push-ups but Booker leapfrogs over Scott to take it back outside. That goes nowhere so Booker starts with the kicks, including a missile dropkick and ax kick for two each. It’s time for the pipe though as Steiner beats down Booker and the referee, drawing the lame DQ.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that good before the lame ending which made things even worse. We’re 0-2 on the three main events and this was the best of them so far. There’s an idea here with Steiner being too hot headed to win the title but it would have helped if they had done a good match before getting here. Booker’s comeback was nice but they needed something better than this after all the other stuff they’ve done tonight.

Jeff Jarrett has to come out and help calm Steiner down.

We recap the main event which is basically Goldberg is dominant and Kronik are big and strong. Go have a four minute match to wrap up this pay per view.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Before the match (because giving it more time would be stupid), Adams says Goldberg is too hurt to wrestle so the referee needs to count. We cut to the back where the Wrestling Commission guys announce that Goldberg is cleared. Goldberg’s music hits with six minutes left in the show and the bell rings with just over four to go. They brawl to the floor because this is nothing resembling a wrestling match. Kronik takes over but loads up a table, only to have Goldberg knock Adams away and spear Clark through the table for a pin. Adams gets two off a full nelson slam and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to keep Goldberg around.

Rating: F. That’s you main event people: Goldberg doing the same old thing he’s done for over three years now over a team who was losing the titles to Vampiro and Great Muta a few months back. There’s nothing to talk about here and the fact that this went on last due to some injury angle that started and ended in the same night sums up this horrible show.

Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this failed and it failed bad. There’s a good opening match where they let the wrestlers go out and do something fun but the rest is one failed idea after another. However, the key word there is idea and that’s what keeps this show above some of Russo’s disasters: you can see the thinking behind a lot of these matches. Notice that I said thinking behind and not that they actually worked.

That’s the problem here: they were trying something in most of the matches and then each of those ideas came crashing down, mainly because the wrestlers just aren’t all that good these days. I mean, Cat and Sanders are good talkers for WCW but it’s really hard to watch them do something goofy when I can flip on Raw and watch Austin, Rock and Jericho talk to people and then tear the house down with almost anyone they get in the ring with.

WCW is in a bad place right now and so much of that is due to all the turmoil from the last few months. They’re in a better place with some storylines starting to make sense and some promising young talent but you can’t come off one of the worst stretches in wrestling history and then bounce back to life like nothing ever happened. The fans, at least the ones that are left, aren’t buying it and I can’t blame them.

Look at the build for this show. WCW made it clear that this was going to be a three match card with everything else filling in the gaps. Goldberg vs. Kronik would have been lame as a Thunder main event and it closed the show. Booker vs. Steiner was the most acceptable of the three despite it being nothing more than sequel bait. The less said about Sting vs. Jarrett the better.

If I’m one of the few fans still watching and paying for WCW, why in the world am I going to keep going after this show, save for pure habit? Three big matches were promised and the best one under delivered. If that’s the best they can do at this point then they can’t close the doors fast enough. The worst part for me though is that this was somehow still better than a lot of what Russo had done earlier in the year. Those lats summer and early fall shows really were that bad, though this was getting close to their level.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Aside from XXXI of course.  The count-up starts March 3.